All language subtitles for Abbott Elementary s01e06 Gifted Program.eng

Okay, so, if the store
has 10 potatoes, right,

and you take away
two of them,

how many potatoes would
the store have left?

I don't like potatoes.

Let's not focus on
that part of it.

You have eight potatoes.

Marie, we know
that you know.

I was asking Sydnee.

Why don't you go sharpen up
some colored pencils?

That'd be fun.

I have a lot of kids
in my class,

and, uh, some of them
are pretty smart potatoes.

So I try to get creative
with the ones who finish early

with some special projects.

- I'm done with the pencils, Ms. Teagues.
- Okay.

Then why don't you...

help me grade some of the other
students' worksheets, okay?

Don't tell anyone.

Okay, so, if you don't like
"potato" potatoes,

what if we say
they are sweet potatoes?

I really don't like
sweet potatoes.

You've really got to
work with me, Sydnee.

Janine, what did I say
about taking my potatoes

from the lunchroom?

But visual learning
is so much better!

Well, guess what.

Now you have zero potatoes.

Yay!

Maker's "Hold'em" playing...

[??]

- Ava: Good morning, y'all.
- Morning.

Please allow me to introduce
our newest student, Malcolm.

He just moved to the area.

He went to that smart private
school, Elway Academy,

with the orchestra classes
and everything.

So he's like baby Beethoven.

My parents wanted me to go to
a school with other Black kids.

Well, you are in luck because
we are swimmin' in Black kids.

Malcolm got straight A's and
he was in the gifted program

and everything.
Welcome, Malcolm.

Yes, welcome to Abbott,
Malcolm.

I was in the gifted program,
too.

What were you gifted at?
Being annoying?

[ Laughs ]
No.

Anyway, Malcolm
has a bright future.

I can already see him
at the White House,

thanking Ms. Ava Eva Coleman

for turning him into
the Oprah of Science.

All you ever have to be is
the Malcolm of Science,

and that will be enough.

Mm-hmm.
Thank you.

Malcolm, would you like to go
get some breakfast

with the other kids?

Yes! Go get whatever
your super brain needs.

We have fish oils
or whatever.

Make way!
Smart kid coming through.

Don't look at him with
your regular I. Q. s.

This is trash.

Wow!

He really is brilliant.

You know, Ava, I really wish
you wouldn't talk

about the kids like that
in front of them.

We have a lot of smart kids
here at Abbott.

Always have.
Mm-hmm.

I got a kid in my class
bartering Happy Meals

for friendship.
Mm!

Hey. [ Gasps ]

You know what? We should have
a gifted program here.

I mean, I need something
for the kids in my class to do

other than
grade papers and...

I'm kidding.

But, seriously, I loved the gifted program
I was in growing up.

I learned so much, and those
experiences were priceless.

I was in one, too.
Yeah.

I got to write my own musical
rap parody about Monsanto.

It was called
"Mo' Santo, Mo' Problems."

Yo, check it.

My youngest, Gina --
she participated

in a young-engineers program.
It did wonders for her.

- Mm.
- Looks good on a college application, too.

Mm-hmm.

Hey, Gregory,
what do you think?

Oh, I think I've been here for
like five minutes,

so I don't really
have a say.

You need to have
more opinions.

We used to have a gifted
program, Lollipop Guild,

but then, you know --
Oh, let me guess.

- "We don't have the money."
- Oh, no, we have the cheddar.

It's sitting in an account.
We just can't touch it.

Believe me, I tried.

To use it for...
arithmascience.

Anyway, the problem is,

there's no one to teach
the gifted program.

- You guys are in your classes all day.
- Melissa: It's true.

By the time we take attendance,
it's practically lunch.

Who's got time?
[ School bell rings ]

Ooh.

It'd be easy to just give up
and not have a gifted program,

but there was an acronym
I learned in the one I was in --

PIE -- Perseverance, Ingenuity,
and Effort.

I love PIE.

Even though I can't eat it,
though.

Hurts my tummy.
[ Chuckles ]

But I did try it
for many years.

That's the perseverance part,

which is why we should have
a gifted program.

It's a foot facial.

It's like a facial,
but for your feet.

Oh!
See, I'd go for that.

Mm-hmm.

Hey, Gar.
Hey.

So, what? No raspberry iced teas
for me this week?

You holding out on me?

No. I got another box
on the truck.

Oh.

I was, uh... keeping 'em safe
for you.

Don't miss me too much
while I'm gone.

[ Scoffs ] You wish.
[ Laughs ]

Girl, that man likes you.
Ask him out.

No.

My ex was a firefighter,
and if he taught me anything,

it's no men in uniforms,
'cause, somehow,

you wind up making
their car payments

and sleeping at your sister's
after a fight.

My Gerald wears a uniform,
and he's a good man.

Come on.
You deserve a little fun.

This fell off
the truck for you.

[ Chuckles ]

So, basically, all we need to
make the gifted program work

is someone enthusiastic
who has a lot of free time.

- And I think I know someone.
- ? Yo, yo, and that's how it go ?

? Just say no
to Monsanto ?

? Hey! ?
And that's just the hook.

[ Laughs ]

I found someone to teach
the gifted program.

[ Breathing heavily ]
Why you breathing so hard?

I'm excited.

Well, it's weird.
You should get that checked out.

Okay. Well, Jacob
is going to teach

the gifted program
during his free periods.

I would love to till
the fertile soil

and grow the minds
of tomorrow.

- Mm-hmm.
- I'll be like, um, that guy in that movie.

Um...
Um...

- "Coach Carter".
- No. Um...

- "Jiro Dreams of Sushi".
- No, no.

What's that rock-climbing movie?
Wait. Don't tell me.

- No, none of these. It's...
- Don't -- Don't tell me. Don't tell me.

Hey, um, Ava?
What do you think?

A chance to make
more Science Oprahs?

"27 Hours". That's the name of
the rock-climbing movie.

- I knew it. I knew it.
- No.

Hey, Ava. Ava.
With the --

- Right. Gifted program.
- Yes.

You know, my sorority sisters
are always bragging

about how they have these
smart kids they gave birth to.

I could be like Charles Xavier
with legs,

with hundreds of smart kids
that I didn't give birth to,

obviously. [ Chuckles ]

Go ahead and start
your little mutant academy.

Yes!
Thank you.

[ Chuckles ]

Take that, Crystal.

[ School bell rings,
children shouting ]

So, I called to book it,
and they told me

they don't do
a foot facial.

They said
it's just a pedicure.

That's not
what Dr. Oz said.

There she is.

You know, I look forward to
every Thursday,

and it's not just about
restocking half-full FUNYUNS.

"Half-full."
The man's an optimist.

So, uh,
what's your deal, Gary?

You got dreams or...

I own and operate
a vending-machine business.

I'm living it.
[ Chuckles ]

Yes, to live
in your dreams.

So, remember how you brought me
that iced tea?

I'm thinking, what if I let you
buy me dinner to go with it?

This -- This is gonna be
amazing.

I'm gonna take you out
for a night on the town

you'll never forget.

I'm thinking you, me,
Dave & Buster's.

Y-You know what?
I just...

I think I'm really busy
these days.

Maybe we just scratch
this entire date idea.

I tried.

Look, I've learned to spot
a red flag when it's flying.

A guy suggests a dump
for a first date,

eventually, you're gonna have to
dump him.

My ex suggested a strip club.

[??]

It's Smart Kids Time!

I'm gonna need Tyrel,
Nadiyah, and Daniel.

What are you talking
about?

For the gifted program.

Those are the only kids
who talk in my class.

Sucks to be you.
[ Laughs ]

All aboard the brain train!
Choo-choo!

[??]

What do I think
of the gifted program?

I mean, look, if everyone's
into it, then great.

I just think the kids are gonna
miss the end of the movie.

But who needs
the end of the movie?

You know, movies are all about
the beginning

and then the middle and...

Okay, guys, let's settle down.
Settle down.

Let's do some math problems
to steady our minds.

Ronald,
what's 9 times 10?

- Sydnee: Chicken!
- What?

Chickens in the library!

[ Chirping ]

The chicken has an ovary
and an oviduct,

and as the female reaches
maturity,

these ova develop a few
at a time into yolks.

And when they hatch,
what do we get?

We get breakfast.
Am I right?

Served ova easy.

It's happening!
They're hatching!

[ Gasps ]

Aww!
Look at that.

They're seeing that chickens
don't just come from

Crown Fried Chicken.

I'm comin' out of retirement
to save the environment.

I like farms
'cause they're rustic,

but GMOs,
don't trust it.

Ms. Teagues, I'm smart.
Can I go to the chicken school?

All: Me too!

- Franken --
- Food!

- Franken --
- Food!

Very good.

Okay, guys, so, I know
we're all on board

with the gifted program.

Ugh! Ugh!

There you go sounding like
an old locomotive.

Honey, you've got to walk
at a normal pace.

I think some of the kids who
aren't in the gifted program

are feeling left out.

Agreed. And they took
all the talking kids,

so now I have to talk.

Well, this is nothing
we can't fix.

We just need to make sure
all the kids

who aren't in the program
are still on track

to be successful, you know,
go to college, do great things.

You don't have to go to college
to be successful.

No.
Oh, my God, no.

I didn't mean that.
I'm just saying --

I, for one,
love the program.

I feel like a blend of

Robin Williams
in "Dead Poets Society" and,

well, Robin Williams
in "Patch Adams".

Didn't all those kids in
"Patch Adams" die of cancer?

Well, the real cancer is
ignorance.

Mm, the real cancer
is cancer.

Look, there's nothing wrong
with the gifted program itself.

We just need to
organize it better

so that the regular kids --
Ooh.

Uh, the ungifted kids --
Mm.

The regifted kids...

- Let's lift up the other kids.
- Yes, that.

Look, if the program
is making the kids feel bad,

I don't think
it's worth it.

Guys, there has to be a way to
improve the experience

for the other kids,
you know?

Make them feel special,
too.

I'm sure you'll figure it out,
Janine.

You were in the gifted program,
right?

I was.

[ Beeping ]
I don't know.

Maybe try restarting it?

You don't think I would have
tried that, Geek Squad?

Hey, Ava... and Malcolm.

Shouldn't you be in class?

That's what I keep saying!

Ava, we need
more discretionary funds.

I want to get chickens
for my class,

since my kids had to sit
and watch Jacob hatch eggs

in the gifted cl--
Janine, are you new here?

That smart money
is for the smart kids.

You think if I had more money,
I would give it to you for eggs?

[ Laughs ]

Hey, Malcolm,
why don't you come with me?

Alright.
Gonna get you to class.

Mm-hmm.
Okay.

Are you excited for your
inspiring lesson from Mr. Hill?

Yes.
Yay!

Okay.
"O, Captain! My Captain!"

Mm! Fire bar
from MC Walt Whit,

but you can call me
Cap'n Hill.

Alright?
No cap'n.

Huh?
Get out your books.

Thank you, hubby.
Mm-hmm.

Aww, you're
so cute together.

Mm-hmm.
Well, for lunch, madames,

we have a burrito with
light-to-smedium sour cream.

Thank you very much.

A capicola sammich.
My favorite.

Mm-hmm.
[ Laughs ]

And nacho chips,
because they're my chips.

[ Both laugh ]

Now, that's a man.

I'm not gonna settle
for less than that.

That's the bar right there.

See that, baby?
I'm the bar.

Well, let me tell you something
about Gerald.

This is not
the man I first met.

Such a player and a flirt.

Trusting this one
was a risk.

But it is a risk
I'm glad I took.

Girlfriend, sometimes,
you've just got to

take a leap of faith.

Barbara, thank you.

I know you're trying to help,
but I'm -- I'm not you.

I'm a divorced,

none-your-business-year-old
woman.

I --
Maybe this is it for me.

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Am I interrupting?

What do you think of Gary,
the vending-machine guy?

Oh. Oh, my God.
I love that he stocks Gushers.

Aren't you like 25?

And three-quarters, yes.
[ Laughs ]

So, when I first got the ball
moving on the gifted program,

I said, "Janine --"
Okay, skip this part.

- What do you want?
- Some chicken eggs that will hatch for my class.

I want to teach them about
their reproductive systems.

Gimme a week.

[ Indistinct conversations ]

Okay, so, when the cloud fills
with water droplets,

then what does it do?
[ Cracking ]

Ms. Teagues,
one of the eggs is breaking.

Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!

The eggs are hatching! Okay,
everybody, come on, come on.

Gather round.
Everyone gather round.

It's happening!
[ Laughs ]

Watch closely, everyone.

The miracle of life
is happening.

See?
Isn't this cool?

We can do fun stuff right here
in our class.

Ew!
It's wet.

Yes. That would be
the amniotic fluid.

It creates a pillow
around the fetus.

It protects it.

Ew!
And it's scaly.

Yes, it's scal--
It's scaly?

[ Gasps ]
It's a snake!

[ All screaming ]

[ Gasping ]

Back up!

Right on.
Seize the day, cap-I-tan.

Aah!

Fly free, little birdie.

[ Splat ]

- [ Sighs ] Thank you so much.
- It's my job.

By the way, this is actually
an endangered species.

Can I ask
where you got these?

Um... it was a pop-up shop
on 52nd Street.

Not there anymore.
Gone.

Can't track it.
[ Chuckles ]

Yeah, I heard about the snakes.
So, what happened was,

I got a guy named Chicken
for snake eggs

and a guy named Snake
for chicken eggs.

I called Chicken for snakes,

when I should have called Snake
for chickens.

Whoops.

Look, snakes are scary,

but I think there's
a great lesson in this.

Even for me, a teacher
of gifted students.

Don't you have a table
to go stand on?

Mm.

Yes, okay, was this a bigger
setback than I thought?

Sure. But was it a setup
for something great?

[ Laughs ] Look,
I can appreciate

what you're trying to do here,
Janine,

but it's not working.

I think we should get rid of
the gifted program.

Gregory, I can't believe
you're saying this.

I thought you liked
the gifted program,

like earlier,
when you s--

Well, I guess you never said
you liked it.

Well, ugh, look, you know,
I tried to give the kids

not in the gifted program
a little bit more attention,

and it didn't work out
this time,

but I still feel that if we
nurture our most gifted minds --

Janine, when I was a kid,

I didn't get into
the gifted program.

Like, not even close.

It made me feel like school
was only for kids

who were good at taking tests,
which I was not.

So I checked out.

I don't know what to say.

The point is, when you give
some kids chickens,

other kids
are gonna get snakes.

And if you get snakes
for long enough,

that's what you think
you deserve.

And no one
deserves snakes.

I get it.
So then what do we do?

I'm just saying that there's
more than one way to be gifted.

Have you ever heard of
Howard Gardner's theory

of multiple intelligences?

Okay. So, look, like,
this kid here, right?

He may not be good
at math,

but he may have
naturalistic intelligence,

which means he's good
with nature.

Okay.
And this girl --

she may have musical
intelligence.

And this kid --

Okay, she's sleeping.

Yeah, she's out.
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.
And look at that.

This kid has
custodial intelligence.

You said there was eight eggs,
right?

- Yeah.
- Well, we got six snakes.

That leaves two snakes.

Yes, Sydnee.
That's correct.

Great job.

Hi.
Melissa, it's Thursday.

Are you ready
to see your man?

Oh, come on, Barb.
Let it go.

I'm not ready.
Melissa Ann Schemmenti,

I know you,
and you are not ready

because you are telling yourself
you are not ready.

But, okay,
do what you want to do.

Hey, you.

Joe: You callin' about
the timeshare?

I was gonna use it
in June.

Yeah, no, no, no, no.
It's something else.

But that's fine.
I prefer July anyway.

So, listen, um...

you know after we got divorced
and you started,

you know, seeing Nina
or whatever?

Weren't you...

Weren't you, like,
just so afraid

it was just gonna wind up
like we did?

Of course I was.

It's hard to get near a stove
once you've been burned.

Why?
You thinking about cooking?

I'm thinking about trying out
a new recipe.

Look, we were young,
and I was an idiot.

You deserve a chance
at something better.

Geez, you got soft.

Ha ha.
I hate you.

I hate you more.

See ya, Joe.

And that's why
I don't think

there's a more respectable bird
than the sea gull.

It survives.

Agreed.
[ Laughs ]

Well, well, well.

If it isn't
the one who ran away.

Yeah, that wasn't
my best moment.

Eh!
I've seen worse moments.

Yeah, well,
and I'm sorry.

Listen, I get it.

You're a beautiful woman.

A Philly 11.
[ Laughs ]

You deserve options.
I get options --

baked chips, classic chips,
cupcakes, sour candy,

granola, local,
big names.

The world's
your vending machine.

Well, I would still like

to go out for dinner,
if you're interested.

Oh, hell yeah.
How about this?

Me, you, Scannicchio's?

Oh, yeah, that's where
my ex proposed that we,

you know, get a divorce,
so, you know,

not there, but we'll --
we'll figure out a place.

I knew that chip metaphor
would work.

[ Laughs ]

Oh, you know, speaking of
options, I would love it

if some SnackWell's could find
their way back into Row E.

Please.

I'll see what I can do.

Alright.

Yeah, he'll get 'em.
I'm a Philly 11.

[ Snaps fingers ]

You so smart.
My little Science Oprah

goin' crazy
in the botanies.

Do you mean botany?

That's what I said.

Anyway, my friend Crystal is
always bragging

about how her kids
are so smart.

Obviously,
I have the smartest kids.

Maybe you can make a video

memorizing the periodic table
or something.

Send that to Crystal.

What do you do here?

I'm the principal.

But you don't do anything.

We shuttin' this down.
He gettin' too smart.

Oh, no, wait.
Actually, we were all

just talking about
the gifted program,

and we have a solution.

Oh, good,
'cause Black Bobby Fischer

is killin' me right now.

Okay, um, well,
we thought instead of a few kids

getting to do something special
every week,

what if every kid
got to do something special

every few weeks?

This way,
no kid feels left out.

We consider all the
intelligences they could have.

We get everyone excited
about learning.

And, you know,
Jacob will still teach.

We'll help.
Yes.

"O Captain! My Captain!"
for everyone.

So, if everyone's special,
then no one's special.

Works for me.

What do you normally do
after school, anyway?

Work out,
watch "Jeopardy!"

Work out
and watch "Jeopardy!"?

Yeah, at the same time.
It stimulates

the body and the mind.
That's cool.

Uh...
Oh.

Are you okay?

Yeah, yeah.
I, um --

I can't open the door
or they'll escape.

Who will escape?

I found the seventh and
eighth snake, okay?

They were --
They were in my bag.

- Oh, no.
- And, um... now they're in my car.

Oh, God.
Um...

Uh...

That man teaches
the gifted program.

[ Laughs ]
Mm-hmm.

[ Laughs ]

That sucks,
how you had to come up,

like, not thinking
you're special.

I mean, I really hope you don't
carry that with you,

because I think
you're gifted.

Just not as gifted as me.
[ Both laugh ]

Oh, oh, is that so?
Okay.

That is.
That is so.

Um, but, in all seriousness,
Gregory,

I was just thinking, um...

do you need me to back your car
out for you?

Because I can do that.

You know, I have the brain
that it takes to --

Alright, now,
you have a good night.

[ Both laugh ]

Alright, see you later.
I'll see you.

I'm really happy Gregory's
opening up.

I mean, he's great,

and it's really nice to have
another friend at the school.

What?

Today, I learned that snake eggs
and chicken eggs look alike.

We never got to do fun stuff
at my old school.

[ Screaming ]
Oh, God! Aah!

I like Principal Coleman.
She's like a big kid.

She's silly,
and she doesn't have a job.

[ Candy clatters ]

There's one area of giftedness
that always goes overlooked.

I've started
a gifted custodian program.

It's like reverse
"Good Will Hunting".

You see a genius cleaning.

I see a cleaning genius.