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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:02:32,736 --> 00:02:36,821 Award of Lloyd's Medal to Captain William Horatio Ambrose, 2 00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:38,940 master of the ship Arabella. 3 00:02:38,950 --> 00:02:41,738 His vessel having suffered serious damage at night 4 00:02:41,745 --> 00:02:44,362 in the English Channel, Captain Ambrose, 5 00:02:44,373 --> 00:02:47,366 by his coolness, courage, and fine seamanship, 6 00:02:47,376 --> 00:02:50,084 was able to save the lives of all passengers and crew 7 00:02:50,087 --> 00:02:52,420 under his command, after which, 8 00:02:52,422 --> 00:02:54,084 refusing offers of assistance, 9 00:02:54,091 --> 00:02:56,003 he succeeded single-handed 10 00:03:14,486 --> 00:03:16,648 Just one more, Captain. 11 00:03:16,655 --> 00:03:18,146 Captain, I'm from The Daily Mirror. 12 00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:19,234 And I'm from The Daily Telegraph. 13 00:03:19,241 --> 00:03:20,241 I'm sorry, gentlemen. 14 00:03:20,242 --> 00:03:21,483 I've already promised my story 15 00:03:21,493 --> 00:03:23,826 to the Sandcastle Mercury. 16 00:03:29,584 --> 00:03:30,995 Watch where you're going, Nelson. 17 00:03:31,002 --> 00:03:32,868 Lost the other eye? 18 00:03:39,386 --> 00:03:40,752 Captain Ambrose? 19 00:03:40,762 --> 00:03:43,880 I'm Peters, Sandcastle Mercury. 20 00:03:43,890 --> 00:03:45,631 So, you've managed to shake off the opposition. 21 00:03:45,642 --> 00:03:48,476 First time an Ambrose ever had to dodge a press gang. 22 00:03:48,478 --> 00:03:49,594 Yes. 23 00:03:49,604 --> 00:03:51,015 Well, what are you having, Captain? 24 00:03:51,022 --> 00:03:52,684 - Uh... - Oh, but of course. 25 00:03:52,691 --> 00:03:54,978 Harry, a large rum, please. 26 00:03:59,906 --> 00:04:01,363 That's a trim piece. 27 00:04:01,366 --> 00:04:03,198 Go well in my cabin. 28 00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:05,530 Sorry, sir, not for sale. 29 00:04:16,465 --> 00:04:18,627 It's yours. 30 00:04:18,633 --> 00:04:20,374 A small token of my admiration. 31 00:04:20,385 --> 00:04:22,627 Oh, no, no, I'd much prefer to... 32 00:04:22,637 --> 00:04:24,048 Oh, you can clap me in irons, Captain, 33 00:04:24,055 --> 00:04:25,796 but I won't take no for an answer. 34 00:04:25,807 --> 00:04:27,014 I'm an old sailor myself 35 00:04:27,017 --> 00:04:28,883 and I can appreciate what you did. 36 00:04:28,894 --> 00:04:30,430 I shall treasure it. 37 00:04:30,437 --> 00:04:32,178 Thank you. 38 00:04:32,189 --> 00:04:34,306 Shall we sit down, Captain? 39 00:04:37,652 --> 00:04:38,859 You'll join me. 40 00:04:38,862 --> 00:04:40,319 Oh, thank you. 41 00:04:41,740 --> 00:04:43,982 By the way, your check from the paper. 42 00:04:43,992 --> 00:04:45,028 Thank you. 43 00:04:45,035 --> 00:04:47,402 I suggest we begin this story 44 00:04:47,412 --> 00:04:51,247 with something about your great family tradition. 45 00:04:51,249 --> 00:04:53,206 The Ambroses have always gone to sea, haven't they? 46 00:04:53,210 --> 00:04:55,042 Always. 47 00:04:55,045 --> 00:04:57,253 As far back as we can trace. 48 00:04:58,256 --> 00:05:02,671 And, in fact, even farther. 49 00:05:08,266 --> 00:05:10,178 From the dawn of time, 50 00:05:10,185 --> 00:05:13,519 we have always moved in nautical circles. 51 00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:30,486 Armada! 52 00:05:30,497 --> 00:05:31,533 All through history, 53 00:05:31,540 --> 00:05:34,248 on every great naval occasion, 54 00:05:34,251 --> 00:05:36,538 we have made our presence felt. 55 00:05:38,129 --> 00:05:40,621 Armada! 56 00:05:48,890 --> 00:05:52,224 Another ancestor of mine sailed with Captain Cook. 57 00:05:52,227 --> 00:05:55,345 He was the first white man to set foot on the Fiji Islands 58 00:06:00,902 --> 00:06:03,519 He was much liked by the natives. 59 00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:07,735 Then there was my great-grandfather. 60 00:06:07,742 --> 00:06:10,325 He was one of Nelson's officers 61 00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:11,906 and spent years an der See. 62 00:06:14,249 --> 00:06:15,285 Hi! 63 00:06:15,292 --> 00:06:16,874 Main gaff goes up! 64 00:06:29,973 --> 00:06:32,716 My grandfather was captain of a windjammer. 65 00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:34,968 During the great hurricane of the Virgin Isles, 66 00:06:34,978 --> 00:06:36,970 he took the wheel himself. 67 00:06:45,822 --> 00:06:47,484 My father was gunnery officer 68 00:06:47,490 --> 00:06:50,779 aboard HMS Incompatible in 1916. 69 00:06:50,785 --> 00:06:52,697 Down one. 70 00:06:52,704 --> 00:06:54,286 He fell at Jutland. 71 00:06:54,289 --> 00:06:55,325 Fire! 72 00:07:05,091 --> 00:07:08,255 Hence our family motto: 73 00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:10,378 Omnes per Mare. 74 00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:11,511 I'm afraid my Latin... 75 00:07:11,514 --> 00:07:13,551 - All at sea. - Ah. 76 00:07:13,558 --> 00:07:15,766 And, of course, you had a distinguished naval career 77 00:07:15,769 --> 00:07:16,930 yourself, Captain. 78 00:07:16,937 --> 00:07:18,303 Distinguished? 79 00:07:18,313 --> 00:07:21,101 I think distinctive is the better word. 80 00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:22,769 I can truthfully say I stood out 81 00:07:22,776 --> 00:07:25,814 from every other sailor of my time, 82 00:07:25,820 --> 00:07:28,938 right from the days when I was a cadet at Dartmouth. 83 00:07:32,369 --> 00:07:33,985 There goes Midshipman Queasy. 84 00:07:35,455 --> 00:07:37,697 Can't even wait 'til we get out of harbor. 85 00:07:37,707 --> 00:07:39,539 Worst case I've ever known. 86 00:07:39,542 --> 00:07:41,408 I'm afraid there's no future for the boy in the Navy. 87 00:07:41,419 --> 00:07:42,910 With his family record? 88 00:07:42,921 --> 00:07:44,332 We'll have to find him something. 89 00:07:45,423 --> 00:07:48,336 I was posted to HMS Standfast, 90 00:07:48,343 --> 00:07:51,211 the training ship in the Midlands. 91 00:07:51,221 --> 00:07:54,760 But a sailor like me wasn't cut out to be an instructor. 92 00:08:06,528 --> 00:08:08,440 Then came the war, 93 00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:11,276 and I had the honor of being selected by the Admiralty 94 00:08:11,282 --> 00:08:14,195 to undertake certain secret trials. 95 00:08:15,787 --> 00:08:17,028 During those six years, 96 00:08:17,038 --> 00:08:19,746 I had experience of almost every type of ship 97 00:08:19,749 --> 00:08:21,581 in His Majesty's Navy. 98 00:08:21,584 --> 00:08:23,120 Corvettes, destroyers, 99 00:08:23,128 --> 00:08:25,290 minesweepers, aircraft carriers, 100 00:08:25,296 --> 00:08:27,538 they were all alike to me. 101 00:08:30,468 --> 00:08:32,835 Turning green, I'm afraid. 102 00:08:32,846 --> 00:08:34,678 We'll double the dose. 103 00:08:38,810 --> 00:08:40,802 Sorry, Captain, gone five bells. 104 00:08:40,812 --> 00:08:42,223 Gotta set you adrift. 105 00:08:42,230 --> 00:08:43,687 That nonsense. 106 00:08:43,690 --> 00:08:45,898 It beats me how you fellows stand for it. 107 00:08:45,900 --> 00:08:47,607 Well, there's not many of us made like you, sir. 108 00:08:47,610 --> 00:08:49,192 More's the pity. 109 00:08:56,578 --> 00:08:57,944 And thanks again. 110 00:08:57,954 --> 00:08:59,695 My privilege, Captain. 111 00:09:00,915 --> 00:09:02,281 Cheerio. 112 00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:12,212 Where now? 113 00:09:12,218 --> 00:09:15,052 Well, I'm afraid we haven't got a London office. 114 00:09:15,055 --> 00:09:16,262 What about a cup of tea? 115 00:09:16,264 --> 00:09:18,096 Tea? 116 00:09:18,099 --> 00:09:19,681 Follow me. 117 00:09:31,946 --> 00:09:34,689 Kindly get me a couple of glasses. 118 00:09:35,784 --> 00:09:37,491 Come along, man. Come along. 119 00:09:37,494 --> 00:09:39,531 Look lively. 120 00:09:39,537 --> 00:09:41,904 I, uh... 121 00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:44,532 We don't have glasses here. 122 00:09:44,542 --> 00:09:45,874 Nonsense. 123 00:09:45,877 --> 00:09:48,585 What do you do when somebody faints? 124 00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:00,719 There, you see? 125 00:10:02,393 --> 00:10:04,476 That'll do for the other. 126 00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:19,074 Thank you. 127 00:10:28,837 --> 00:10:30,044 Where was I? 128 00:10:30,046 --> 00:10:31,162 Hm? 129 00:10:31,172 --> 00:10:32,583 Oh, your war record. 130 00:10:32,590 --> 00:10:33,876 Oh, yes. 131 00:10:33,883 --> 00:10:36,591 I was still doing trials for the Admiralty 132 00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:39,128 when the war ended. 133 00:10:39,139 --> 00:10:40,721 I was kept on the strengths 134 00:10:40,723 --> 00:10:44,012 for further experiments until last year. 135 00:10:44,018 --> 00:10:46,431 Then I got my bowler hat. 136 00:10:46,437 --> 00:10:48,269 I must inform you, sir, that these tables 137 00:10:48,273 --> 00:10:50,310 are only for the use of the clients of the bank. 138 00:10:50,316 --> 00:10:52,057 That's all right, I have an account here. 139 00:10:52,068 --> 00:10:53,900 For the proper conduct of their business. 140 00:10:53,903 --> 00:10:55,940 Oh, very well, very well. 141 00:10:57,699 --> 00:10:59,736 As I was saying, 142 00:10:59,742 --> 00:11:02,109 I found myself on the beach 143 00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:04,863 with my bowler hat. 144 00:11:04,873 --> 00:11:08,116 Then one day, I saw that advertisement in your paper. 145 00:11:08,126 --> 00:11:13,121 For £5,000, the answer to all my dreams. 146 00:11:13,923 --> 00:11:15,755 One look at her photograph, 147 00:11:15,758 --> 00:11:17,966 and I was on the telephone clinching the deal. 148 00:11:17,969 --> 00:11:20,632 There you are. 149 00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:23,969 For the price of my modest savings, 150 00:11:23,975 --> 00:11:27,343 at last, a command of my own. 151 00:11:27,353 --> 00:11:29,094 The Arabella. 152 00:11:29,105 --> 00:11:30,391 The Arabella? 153 00:11:33,359 --> 00:11:35,021 The Arabella. 154 00:12:18,571 --> 00:12:20,233 Of course, I had little idea then 155 00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:22,778 of the rough waters that lay ahead. 156 00:12:22,784 --> 00:12:24,696 I hadn't the experience I have today 157 00:12:24,702 --> 00:12:27,115 of the battle of life ashore. 158 00:12:27,121 --> 00:12:29,454 Just a simple sailor, in fact. 159 00:12:38,299 --> 00:12:40,086 - Excuse me. - Mummy, 160 00:12:40,093 --> 00:12:43,052 there's a man here with all his clothes on. 161 00:12:45,306 --> 00:12:47,889 There's a man hanging 'round these huts. 162 00:12:47,892 --> 00:12:49,849 A man? 163 00:12:53,189 --> 00:12:55,431 Run along, child. 164 00:12:55,441 --> 00:12:57,478 This is not a right-of-way, you know. 165 00:12:57,485 --> 00:12:58,726 I'm sorry, I didn't know. 166 00:12:58,736 --> 00:13:02,195 It's purely for the use of people hiring my bathing house. 167 00:13:02,198 --> 00:13:04,064 May I ask if you wish to hire one? 168 00:13:04,075 --> 00:13:06,067 Oh, no, no, no, that's not why I'm here at all. 169 00:13:06,077 --> 00:13:07,488 I thought not. 170 00:13:07,495 --> 00:13:10,533 It's perfectly obvious why you are here. 171 00:13:10,540 --> 00:13:12,156 You will kindly leave at once. 172 00:13:12,166 --> 00:13:13,247 Very well, madam. 173 00:13:46,659 --> 00:13:47,866 - Four, sir? - Four, please. 174 00:13:47,869 --> 00:13:49,405 One shilling. 175 00:13:49,412 --> 00:13:52,325 Let the two little ones go in together. 176 00:13:52,332 --> 00:13:54,244 That's right, squeeze 'em up, give 'em a bit of fun. 177 00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:56,207 One, two. 178 00:13:56,210 --> 00:13:58,793 Three, four. 179 00:13:58,796 --> 00:14:00,128 Thank you, sir. 180 00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:12,467 What do you fancy for the big race, Tommy? 181 00:14:16,356 --> 00:14:18,564 - One, please. - Thank you, sir. 182 00:14:56,437 --> 00:14:58,474 Excuse me. 183 00:14:58,481 --> 00:15:00,188 Are you one of the officers here? 184 00:15:00,191 --> 00:15:03,525 If so, I'd like you to break off action. 185 00:15:03,528 --> 00:15:05,235 Are you, uh... 186 00:15:05,238 --> 00:15:06,570 The new captain. 187 00:15:06,572 --> 00:15:07,779 The new owner. 188 00:15:07,782 --> 00:15:10,399 Oh, I didn't expect you so soon. 189 00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:11,410 My name is Figg. 190 00:15:11,411 --> 00:15:12,777 I'm in charge here. 191 00:15:12,787 --> 00:15:14,619 I don't wish to find fault as soon as I arrive, 192 00:15:14,622 --> 00:15:16,363 Mr. Figg, 193 00:15:16,374 --> 00:15:18,366 but wouldn't a salute be appropriate? 194 00:15:18,376 --> 00:15:19,787 Salute? 195 00:15:19,794 --> 00:15:21,285 You'd better send us a wire next time. 196 00:15:21,295 --> 00:15:23,036 We'll have you piped aboard. 197 00:15:23,047 --> 00:15:24,754 Where are the master's quarters? 198 00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:26,373 You could ask the quartermaster. 199 00:15:28,010 --> 00:15:30,002 Perhaps you would be good enough to tell me. 200 00:15:30,012 --> 00:15:31,753 Well, that's the office along there. 201 00:15:31,764 --> 00:15:34,757 The old shed this side the Crazy Cottage. 202 00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:36,099 I'd like to meet the crew. 203 00:15:36,102 --> 00:15:37,889 Will you be good enough to muster them on the quarterdeck 204 00:15:37,895 --> 00:15:39,557 in 10 minutes' time? 205 00:15:39,564 --> 00:15:41,226 It's almost 4:00. 206 00:15:41,232 --> 00:15:42,643 They'll be wantin' their tea. 207 00:15:42,650 --> 00:15:44,107 I shan't keep them long. 208 00:15:44,110 --> 00:15:46,022 Oh, and I'd like you to include the man on the gate, 209 00:15:46,028 --> 00:15:47,894 if you can arrange a relief for him. 210 00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:49,654 - Is that all? - For the present. 211 00:15:49,657 --> 00:15:51,239 Carry on, Number One. 212 00:16:32,074 --> 00:16:36,535 And so with the assistance of my good friend Goldilocks here, 213 00:16:36,537 --> 00:16:38,620 I shall now demonstrate that the secret 214 00:16:38,623 --> 00:16:40,910 of the Great Houdini lives on. 215 00:16:40,917 --> 00:16:43,625 That's a lovely head of skin you've got there, sir. 216 00:16:43,628 --> 00:16:44,709 Of course, he's a very good-looking fella, 217 00:16:44,712 --> 00:16:46,078 this, you know. 218 00:16:46,088 --> 00:16:48,751 The poor girl's Yul Brynner. 219 00:16:48,758 --> 00:16:51,091 There's no call for personal remarks. 220 00:16:51,093 --> 00:16:52,959 I'm very sorry, sir. 221 00:16:52,970 --> 00:16:55,804 Of course, he ain't really bald, we know that. 222 00:16:55,806 --> 00:16:57,513 He's just got a tall face. 223 00:16:58,976 --> 00:17:00,888 A tall face. 224 00:17:02,688 --> 00:17:04,429 And you won't get out of that in a hurry. 225 00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:05,681 Get out of what? 226 00:17:09,320 --> 00:17:10,356 This? 227 00:17:11,447 --> 00:17:12,983 Now, come back, sir. 228 00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:14,568 Don't get naughty. 229 00:17:14,575 --> 00:17:15,907 Keep your hair on. 230 00:17:18,955 --> 00:17:20,662 Sir, on behalf of the pier company, 231 00:17:20,665 --> 00:17:21,997 I would like to apologize... 232 00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:25,000 Hello, hello, hello. 233 00:17:25,002 --> 00:17:27,665 What's this, another volunteer? 234 00:17:27,672 --> 00:17:29,959 Gangway for a naval officer there. 235 00:17:29,966 --> 00:17:32,003 Step right up here, Admiral. 236 00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:33,417 Go on, Jack, have a go. 237 00:17:33,427 --> 00:17:35,419 Come on, be a sport. 238 00:17:35,429 --> 00:17:36,465 That's it. 239 00:17:36,472 --> 00:17:38,839 Give him a big hand, ladies and gentlemen. 240 00:17:40,893 --> 00:17:42,350 Howdy, Admiral. 241 00:17:42,353 --> 00:17:43,935 And how did you leave the wives? 242 00:17:43,938 --> 00:17:45,395 Still in ignorance, I hope? 243 00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:46,764 Aha, now, then. 244 00:17:46,774 --> 00:17:49,812 I want you to take this cord and tie up me ankles and hands, 245 00:17:49,819 --> 00:17:50,819 got it? 246 00:17:50,820 --> 00:17:52,186 Now, tight as you like. 247 00:17:52,196 --> 00:17:53,937 Don't mind me. 248 00:17:53,948 --> 00:17:57,407 Oh, he knows what he's up to, this one. 249 00:17:57,410 --> 00:17:59,322 Proper ropey type, eh? 250 00:17:59,328 --> 00:18:00,409 That's it. 251 00:18:00,413 --> 00:18:01,745 Now me hands. 252 00:18:03,249 --> 00:18:06,287 Ooh, look at them medal ribbons. 253 00:18:06,294 --> 00:18:07,956 'Course, he should've had the Croix de Guerre, too, 254 00:18:07,962 --> 00:18:09,294 you know. 255 00:18:09,297 --> 00:18:10,629 But with a face like his, 256 00:18:10,631 --> 00:18:12,873 they couldn't find a French admiral to kiss him. 257 00:18:13,884 --> 00:18:15,591 Right, now this time 258 00:18:15,595 --> 00:18:17,678 I'm gonna make it hard for meself, 259 00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:20,172 as the bloke said when he fell into the cement mixer. 260 00:18:21,267 --> 00:18:23,725 That's it, I want you to pop me into this sack 261 00:18:23,728 --> 00:18:25,765 and tie up me top knot. 262 00:18:25,771 --> 00:18:27,262 Right. 263 00:18:27,273 --> 00:18:29,310 Night-night, all. 264 00:18:29,317 --> 00:18:31,980 Oh, innit dark in here? 265 00:18:31,986 --> 00:18:35,150 Anybody got a candle? 266 00:18:35,156 --> 00:18:36,647 Now, you done, Admiral? 267 00:18:36,657 --> 00:18:38,569 - All fast. - Eh? 268 00:18:38,576 --> 00:18:40,943 - Finished. - Oh, ta, muchly. 269 00:18:40,953 --> 00:18:44,037 Well, give my love to the wives and all the little barnacles. 270 00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:46,373 Music, maestro, please. 271 00:18:49,378 --> 00:18:50,664 The men are waiting outside, sir. 272 00:18:50,671 --> 00:18:51,752 Very good. 273 00:19:21,035 --> 00:19:22,992 That's my candy floss. 274 00:19:22,995 --> 00:19:25,612 Is that how they do it in the Navy, sir? 275 00:19:25,623 --> 00:19:28,707 I take it you were never in the service, Mr. Figg. 276 00:19:28,709 --> 00:19:30,120 I never wanted to be. 277 00:19:30,127 --> 00:19:32,119 I've spent all my life in a dredger, 278 00:19:32,129 --> 00:19:33,961 and if you're going to run this pier like a battleship, 279 00:19:33,964 --> 00:19:35,500 I should be sorry I ever left it. 280 00:19:35,508 --> 00:19:37,875 Well, I am going to run her like a battleship. 281 00:19:39,303 --> 00:19:41,761 All the best piers in this country are run naval-style, 282 00:19:41,764 --> 00:19:43,426 and under my command, Sandcastle Pier 283 00:19:43,432 --> 00:19:45,298 is going to be no exception. 284 00:19:45,309 --> 00:19:47,642 I shan't be satisfied until everything is... 285 00:19:49,772 --> 00:19:53,061 Until everything is pier-shape and Blackpool fashion. 286 00:19:53,067 --> 00:19:56,276 Now, was any man here in the Royal Navy? 287 00:19:56,278 --> 00:19:58,065 - Tommy was. - Who? 288 00:19:58,072 --> 00:20:00,314 - Thomas, sir. - Where is he? 289 00:20:00,324 --> 00:20:02,566 There he is, sir. 290 00:20:02,576 --> 00:20:04,192 Oi, Tommy! 291 00:20:14,171 --> 00:20:15,412 Oh, so you're Thomas. 292 00:20:15,423 --> 00:20:16,423 Sir? 293 00:20:16,424 --> 00:20:17,540 - The gate man. - No, sir. 294 00:20:17,550 --> 00:20:20,088 Chief deck chair hand, we take turns on the gate, sir. 295 00:20:20,094 --> 00:20:22,461 You won't be taking any more turns on the gate, Thomas. 296 00:20:23,806 --> 00:20:26,344 Now, I can see we have a long, hard voyage ahead of us 297 00:20:26,350 --> 00:20:29,263 before we can take a real pride in our pier. 298 00:20:29,270 --> 00:20:30,431 And I don't want to hear any grumbling 299 00:20:30,438 --> 00:20:31,974 once we're underway. 300 00:20:31,981 --> 00:20:33,438 Not from me, you won't. 301 00:20:33,441 --> 00:20:35,524 I'm off back to my dredger. 302 00:20:35,526 --> 00:20:36,562 Have a nice trip. 303 00:20:39,238 --> 00:20:42,026 Bring us back a parrot! 304 00:20:42,032 --> 00:20:43,898 Anyone else want to sign off? 305 00:20:45,911 --> 00:20:47,447 Good. 306 00:20:47,455 --> 00:20:48,991 Now, I want this to be a happy pier 307 00:20:48,998 --> 00:20:51,456 because a happy pier is an efficient pier, 308 00:20:51,459 --> 00:20:52,791 and vice versa. 309 00:20:52,793 --> 00:20:54,375 - You won't find me... - Here, Popeye, 310 00:20:54,378 --> 00:20:55,789 where's the ladies? 311 00:21:11,687 --> 00:21:13,349 And you'll retain your present ranks 312 00:21:13,355 --> 00:21:15,142 and rates of pay. 313 00:21:15,149 --> 00:21:17,141 That is, with one exception. 314 00:21:17,151 --> 00:21:19,518 Thomas, you're what is known as a fiddler. 315 00:21:19,528 --> 00:21:20,939 Yes, sir. 316 00:21:20,946 --> 00:21:22,608 Well, at least you're honest. 317 00:21:22,615 --> 00:21:23,651 And as you're the only man here 318 00:21:23,657 --> 00:21:25,114 who's served in Her Majesty's Navy, 319 00:21:25,117 --> 00:21:26,699 I'm giving you another chance. 320 00:21:26,702 --> 00:21:29,820 I'm appointing you Chief Officer. 321 00:21:29,830 --> 00:21:31,241 Well? 322 00:21:31,290 --> 00:21:33,873 Uh, thank you, sir. 323 00:21:33,876 --> 00:21:35,037 Carry on. 324 00:21:35,044 --> 00:21:36,376 Captain's rounds, Number One. 325 00:21:36,378 --> 00:21:37,664 Captain's rounds, sir. 326 00:21:40,466 --> 00:21:42,048 You've made a nice start, sir. 327 00:21:42,051 --> 00:21:44,293 Long time since our customers had any fun. 328 00:21:49,099 --> 00:21:50,806 Amusement arcade, sir. 329 00:21:53,646 --> 00:21:55,683 Not much fun to be had in here. 330 00:21:56,732 --> 00:21:57,768 Ah. 331 00:21:58,776 --> 00:22:00,267 She used to run up and down the pier. 332 00:22:00,277 --> 00:22:01,358 She shall again. 333 00:22:01,362 --> 00:22:02,648 Where's the chief engineer? 334 00:22:02,655 --> 00:22:04,271 - You've just got rid of him. - Mr. Figg? 335 00:22:04,323 --> 00:22:06,280 - But he was mate. - He was most things, sir, 336 00:22:06,325 --> 00:22:08,533 that'd give him the chance for a fiddle. 337 00:22:08,536 --> 00:22:09,947 I wasn't the only one. 338 00:22:09,954 --> 00:22:11,115 Well, where's the second engineer? 339 00:22:11,121 --> 00:22:12,362 He's due for promotion. 340 00:22:12,373 --> 00:22:14,490 The second engineer's a kid of 15 with the measles. 341 00:22:14,500 --> 00:22:15,957 Well, somebody's got to mend these machines. 342 00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:17,201 There's nothing wrong with them, sir. 343 00:22:17,211 --> 00:22:18,668 It was the police had 'em closed down. 344 00:22:18,671 --> 00:22:20,378 - The police? - There's an old lady 345 00:22:20,381 --> 00:22:22,043 on the council, Mrs. Barrington, 346 00:22:22,049 --> 00:22:23,049 she started creating, 347 00:22:23,050 --> 00:22:24,382 said the kids were gambling on them. 348 00:22:24,385 --> 00:22:27,048 Gambling? Coin returned for win. 349 00:22:27,054 --> 00:22:29,387 It surely can't be a gamble if you just get your money back. 350 00:22:29,390 --> 00:22:32,098 Ah, but when you win, the ball stays in play. 351 00:22:32,101 --> 00:22:34,514 You get another win, and out comes the last fella's penny. 352 00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:37,308 Now, according to the council, that's gambling. 353 00:22:37,356 --> 00:22:38,597 Young Reggie Skinner, 354 00:22:38,607 --> 00:22:40,815 the second engineer, he's a marvel. 355 00:22:40,818 --> 00:22:42,730 I've seen him with as much as ninepence on the trot. 356 00:22:42,736 --> 00:22:44,523 Smart boy. 357 00:22:44,530 --> 00:22:48,114 I think we'll have these machines put back in action, 358 00:22:48,117 --> 00:22:49,858 Number One. 359 00:22:51,078 --> 00:22:52,410 That might be a bit dodgy, sir. 360 00:22:52,413 --> 00:22:55,531 The council we've got here, a proper bunch, they are. 361 00:22:55,541 --> 00:22:56,782 This is my pier, Number One, 362 00:22:56,792 --> 00:22:58,454 and no little tin-pot dictator on the council 363 00:22:58,460 --> 00:22:59,917 is going to tell me how to run her. 364 00:22:59,920 --> 00:23:01,001 Captain Ambrose? 365 00:23:01,005 --> 00:23:03,497 I'm Crowley, chief tin-pot dictator. 366 00:23:03,507 --> 00:23:05,590 Oh, Mr. Crowley, how do you do? 367 00:23:05,593 --> 00:23:06,754 - What was that? - I'm sorry, 368 00:23:06,760 --> 00:23:07,796 I couldn't resist it. 369 00:23:07,803 --> 00:23:10,546 You see, I happen to be mayor of Sandcastle. 370 00:23:10,556 --> 00:23:12,343 It's all right, Captain, don't apologize. 371 00:23:12,391 --> 00:23:13,802 We all feel that way about people 372 00:23:13,809 --> 00:23:15,220 who tell us where to get off. 373 00:23:15,227 --> 00:23:16,308 I heard you'd arrived, 374 00:23:16,312 --> 00:23:17,974 thought I'd come along to wish you well. 375 00:23:17,980 --> 00:23:19,471 Everything in order, I hope? 376 00:23:19,481 --> 00:23:21,473 Quite satisfied? No complaints? 377 00:23:21,483 --> 00:23:23,315 Well, to be quite frank, she is a bit more run-down 378 00:23:23,319 --> 00:23:24,981 - than I'd expected. - Very true. 379 00:23:24,987 --> 00:23:26,353 I couldn't agree more. 380 00:23:26,405 --> 00:23:28,362 The fact is, since they put me in office, 381 00:23:28,365 --> 00:23:29,526 I just haven't had the time 382 00:23:29,533 --> 00:23:31,991 to attend to all my private interests. 383 00:23:31,994 --> 00:23:34,361 It was a question of neglecting them or the community. 384 00:23:34,413 --> 00:23:36,826 And that's why I decided to sell the pier at what is really, 385 00:23:36,832 --> 00:23:39,199 I venture to think, quite a bargain price. 386 00:23:39,209 --> 00:23:41,747 But, of course, my dear fellow, if you're not satisfied... 387 00:23:41,754 --> 00:23:42,790 Oh, no, no, no. 388 00:23:42,796 --> 00:23:44,207 I'm sure she'll suit me very well. 389 00:23:44,214 --> 00:23:46,376 Well, anything I can do to help at any time 390 00:23:46,383 --> 00:23:48,545 Well, there is the question of the machines. 391 00:23:48,552 --> 00:23:50,384 Oh, the gambling machines. 392 00:23:50,387 --> 00:23:51,798 I know how you feel. 393 00:23:51,805 --> 00:23:52,921 I did resist the order, 394 00:23:52,932 --> 00:23:54,594 but I'm afraid there's a strong feeling 395 00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:56,637 in the council chamber about, well, 396 00:23:56,644 --> 00:23:59,933 turning Sandcastle into another Monte Carlo. 397 00:23:59,939 --> 00:24:01,055 And, of course, in my position, 398 00:24:01,065 --> 00:24:04,058 one can't press one's own interests too hard. 399 00:24:04,068 --> 00:24:05,525 Well, as I'm not a member of the council, 400 00:24:05,527 --> 00:24:07,894 perhaps I'm in a better position to put up a fight. 401 00:24:07,905 --> 00:24:09,271 Oh, take warning, Captain. 402 00:24:09,281 --> 00:24:11,068 You're heading for trouble there. 403 00:24:11,075 --> 00:24:12,156 Well, I must get along. 404 00:24:12,159 --> 00:24:14,116 I've got a meeting at the planning committee. 405 00:24:14,119 --> 00:24:15,951 Any queries, just give me a tinkle. 406 00:24:15,955 --> 00:24:17,321 Thank you, I will. 407 00:24:19,208 --> 00:24:20,324 Your luggage has arrived, sir. 408 00:24:20,334 --> 00:24:21,334 Where would you like it taken? 409 00:24:21,335 --> 00:24:22,496 Kings Arms or the Georgian Dragon? 410 00:24:22,503 --> 00:24:24,244 Neither. Let it stay aboard. 411 00:24:24,254 --> 00:24:26,120 You're not going to live on the pier, sir? 412 00:24:27,341 --> 00:24:29,207 Do I look the type who'd sleep ashore? 413 00:24:29,218 --> 00:24:30,254 But... but where, sir? 414 00:24:30,260 --> 00:24:31,376 There's not enough room in that office 415 00:24:31,387 --> 00:24:33,720 to swing a cat-o'-nine-tails. 416 00:24:33,722 --> 00:24:35,258 We'll have to use some initiative, 417 00:24:35,265 --> 00:24:37,052 won't we, Number One? 418 00:24:39,269 --> 00:24:40,555 Well, there's the aquarium, sir. 419 00:24:40,562 --> 00:24:41,894 We could put you in there. 420 00:24:41,897 --> 00:24:43,229 Aquarium? 421 00:24:43,232 --> 00:24:44,848 No, no. 422 00:24:44,858 --> 00:24:46,850 That'd be like waking up in a submarine. 423 00:24:49,154 --> 00:24:50,565 Below there. 424 00:24:50,572 --> 00:24:52,689 Come and bear a hand with my dunnage. 425 00:25:18,517 --> 00:25:21,055 - Morning, sir. - Morning, Number One. 426 00:25:21,061 --> 00:25:22,723 Struck some foul weather. 427 00:25:22,730 --> 00:25:25,222 It's always like this in Sandcastle on Sunday. 428 00:25:25,232 --> 00:25:26,232 From what I've seen of the place, 429 00:25:26,233 --> 00:25:28,441 it's always like Sunday in Sandcastle. 430 00:25:28,444 --> 00:25:29,560 Yes, sir. 431 00:25:29,570 --> 00:25:31,812 Except it's no day of rest for the coppers. 432 00:25:31,822 --> 00:25:35,657 They've been here this morning and took the slot machines away. 433 00:25:35,659 --> 00:25:37,195 Why wasn't I called? 434 00:25:37,202 --> 00:25:38,202 Who let 'em aboard? 435 00:25:38,203 --> 00:25:39,865 It seems they got the keys off Mr. Figg. 436 00:25:39,872 --> 00:25:41,488 I met 'em wheeling the machines out 437 00:25:41,498 --> 00:25:43,990 on that little old cot they keep for the drunks. 438 00:25:44,001 --> 00:25:46,493 Not that we get many drunks in Sandcastle. 439 00:25:46,503 --> 00:25:49,086 I'll beat seven bells out of them for this. 440 00:25:55,304 --> 00:25:57,341 Hello, hello. Are you all right, sir? 441 00:25:57,347 --> 00:26:00,215 I haven't quite found my sea legs yet. 442 00:26:00,225 --> 00:26:02,638 That boy you mentioned, the second engineer. 443 00:26:02,644 --> 00:26:03,805 Is he out of quarantine? 444 00:26:03,812 --> 00:26:05,599 Who, Reggie Skinner? He'll be back tomorrow. 445 00:26:05,606 --> 00:26:06,972 I need him today, rouse him out 446 00:26:06,982 --> 00:26:08,098 and meet me at the police station 447 00:26:08,108 --> 00:26:10,020 at one-oh-double-oh. 448 00:26:11,695 --> 00:26:13,812 Small profit, perhaps, but you must admit 449 00:26:13,822 --> 00:26:15,984 that money can be won on these machines. 450 00:26:15,991 --> 00:26:17,857 There wouldn't be much point in them otherwise. 451 00:26:17,868 --> 00:26:19,154 Then what are you arguing about? 452 00:26:19,161 --> 00:26:20,197 That makes them illegal. 453 00:26:20,204 --> 00:26:21,411 No, no, no, no. 454 00:26:21,413 --> 00:26:23,370 Pardon me. 455 00:26:23,373 --> 00:26:25,239 Well done, Number One. 456 00:26:25,250 --> 00:26:27,116 So this is our chief engineer. 457 00:26:27,127 --> 00:26:30,086 - Chief engineer? - If you pass your test. 458 00:26:30,089 --> 00:26:31,455 - Now, look, uh... - Skinner, sir. 459 00:26:31,465 --> 00:26:32,546 Skinner. 460 00:26:32,591 --> 00:26:34,833 I'm going to put a penny in this machine 461 00:26:34,843 --> 00:26:37,051 and you are to win it back. 462 00:26:37,054 --> 00:26:38,761 What's the idea of all this? 463 00:26:38,764 --> 00:26:40,380 You'll see, I hope. 464 00:26:41,850 --> 00:26:43,762 Go on, Skinner, win. 465 00:26:45,521 --> 00:26:47,433 - Good boy. - Do it again. 466 00:26:52,736 --> 00:26:55,103 You're just proving my point. It's a gambling device. 467 00:26:55,114 --> 00:26:56,946 Is it? You try. 468 00:26:56,949 --> 00:26:58,906 Come along, now. Fair's fair. 469 00:27:02,996 --> 00:27:04,032 You see? 470 00:27:04,039 --> 00:27:05,905 No skill. 471 00:27:05,916 --> 00:27:07,999 Carry on, Chief. Do yourself some good. 472 00:27:09,044 --> 00:27:12,378 Now, let us review this whole matter again. 473 00:27:12,381 --> 00:27:14,338 No offense is committed under the Gaming Act 474 00:27:14,341 --> 00:27:15,877 if skill predominates over luck. 475 00:27:15,884 --> 00:27:17,716 - Isn't that right? - Yes. 476 00:27:17,719 --> 00:27:18,960 Well, you've just seen for yourself. 477 00:27:18,971 --> 00:27:20,883 This is a game of skill. 478 00:27:21,849 --> 00:27:23,090 Hm. 479 00:27:23,934 --> 00:27:26,893 Let's have another go, son. 480 00:27:26,895 --> 00:27:29,512 No, wait. Just your thumb. 481 00:27:29,523 --> 00:27:30,604 That's too far down. 482 00:27:30,649 --> 00:27:31,935 Hold it lighter. 483 00:27:31,942 --> 00:27:33,808 That's right. Now, steady, right, go. 484 00:27:36,697 --> 00:27:39,610 - I've won. - Superintendent Browning. 485 00:27:39,616 --> 00:27:41,482 Oh, good morning, ma'am. 486 00:27:42,828 --> 00:27:46,492 I see you're dealing with the matter of these machines. 487 00:27:46,498 --> 00:27:49,286 I came here this morning because it had been reported to me 488 00:27:49,293 --> 00:27:52,286 that the new owner of the pier... 489 00:27:52,296 --> 00:27:54,333 You! 490 00:27:54,339 --> 00:27:56,651 Captain Ambrose, ma'am, has been questioning our legal right 491 00:27:56,675 --> 00:27:58,792 to effect a seizure of these machines. 492 00:27:58,802 --> 00:28:00,088 Really? 493 00:28:00,095 --> 00:28:02,758 I hope you've made the position clear to him. 494 00:28:02,764 --> 00:28:04,300 Well, madam, I have to admit 495 00:28:04,308 --> 00:28:06,846 there are possibly grounds for a test case. 496 00:28:06,852 --> 00:28:09,014 - What? - Thank you. 497 00:28:09,021 --> 00:28:12,059 That's all I wanted to know. 498 00:28:12,065 --> 00:28:15,149 A gambler and a Peeping Tom. 499 00:28:22,326 --> 00:28:23,988 I dig that crazy jukebox. 500 00:28:23,994 --> 00:28:25,951 Don't be so square, man, that ain't a juke. 501 00:28:25,954 --> 00:28:27,786 That's a fruit machine. 502 00:28:27,789 --> 00:28:28,789 Doing. 503 00:28:30,459 --> 00:28:31,995 Keep your hands off, please. 504 00:28:32,002 --> 00:28:33,664 Look, don't lean on me, Jack. 505 00:28:33,712 --> 00:28:35,749 I'm telling ya. Don't lean on me. 506 00:28:35,756 --> 00:28:37,372 Here, put it down, Dad. Let's have a ball. 507 00:28:37,382 --> 00:28:39,669 Leave it alone. Go and play somewhere else. 508 00:28:39,718 --> 00:28:41,050 You ain't plugged in, man. 509 00:28:41,053 --> 00:28:42,385 This is Sandcastle. 510 00:28:42,387 --> 00:28:44,174 It's a real square town, Dad. 511 00:28:44,181 --> 00:28:45,592 Square? What on earth are you talking about? 512 00:28:45,599 --> 00:28:46,965 No playing games on Sundays here. 513 00:28:46,975 --> 00:28:48,056 That's what he means. 514 00:28:48,060 --> 00:28:50,347 No Sunday movies, no dancing. 515 00:28:50,354 --> 00:28:51,936 Strictly no jiving. 516 00:28:51,939 --> 00:28:53,180 Nothing but a nothing. 517 00:28:54,650 --> 00:28:56,482 Dig it now, Hornblower? 518 00:28:58,111 --> 00:29:00,694 Blow that horn, daddy-o? 519 00:29:00,697 --> 00:29:02,905 Why don't you go and enjoy yourselves on the pier? 520 00:29:04,743 --> 00:29:06,029 The pier? 521 00:29:06,036 --> 00:29:07,117 You seen the pier? 522 00:29:07,120 --> 00:29:08,702 - I own the pier. - You what? 523 00:29:08,747 --> 00:29:10,704 And there's a concert on this afternoon. 524 00:29:10,707 --> 00:29:11,823 A concert? 525 00:29:11,833 --> 00:29:16,373 Come into the garden, Maud 526 00:29:16,380 --> 00:29:18,246 Oh, you send me. 527 00:29:18,257 --> 00:29:20,044 You send me! 528 00:29:20,050 --> 00:29:21,507 He's way out in cloud seven. 529 00:29:23,011 --> 00:29:24,718 - Choke your lump. - What's that you say? 530 00:29:24,721 --> 00:29:26,678 Pipe down and belay all this doing and effort. 531 00:29:26,682 --> 00:29:28,093 You think I was brought up in the last bucket? 532 00:29:28,100 --> 00:29:29,591 If this is the best you can do with your make and mend, 533 00:29:29,601 --> 00:29:30,721 you deserve to be keelhauled. 534 00:29:30,769 --> 00:29:33,352 The concert's in the first dock. 535 00:29:33,355 --> 00:29:35,392 And dig yourselves out of that. 536 00:29:41,363 --> 00:29:42,649 Mr. White. 537 00:29:45,117 --> 00:29:46,324 Mr. White! 538 00:29:47,744 --> 00:29:49,656 - Mr. White? - That you, sir? 539 00:29:49,663 --> 00:29:52,827 Where... where on earth are the Brinies? 540 00:29:52,833 --> 00:29:54,324 I've been looking for you. They've gone. 541 00:29:54,334 --> 00:29:56,246 - What? - Packed up and walked out. 542 00:29:56,253 --> 00:29:57,369 It seems old Artie couldn't take you 543 00:29:57,379 --> 00:29:58,870 making a monkey out of him. 544 00:29:58,880 --> 00:30:00,587 Are there many people in the auditorium? 545 00:30:00,590 --> 00:30:01,671 Not a soul just now, sir. 546 00:30:01,675 --> 00:30:02,875 Well, thank goodness for that. 547 00:30:14,688 --> 00:30:15,895 Go, man, go. 548 00:30:15,897 --> 00:30:17,354 What's the holdup, Mac? 549 00:30:17,357 --> 00:30:20,646 I'm sorry, but I'm afraid we have been let down. 550 00:30:21,695 --> 00:30:23,061 You said there was gonna be 551 00:30:23,071 --> 00:30:24,858 a show here this afternoon. 552 00:30:24,865 --> 00:30:26,026 Live entertainment. 553 00:30:26,033 --> 00:30:28,491 - Yes, I know, but... - There ain't no show? 554 00:30:28,493 --> 00:30:30,234 If you'll let me explain... 555 00:30:30,245 --> 00:30:32,362 We'll give him a show. 556 00:30:37,419 --> 00:30:39,001 Okay, you cats. 557 00:30:39,004 --> 00:30:40,666 Take your seats. 558 00:30:40,672 --> 00:30:42,208 I'll have this one. 559 00:30:49,097 --> 00:30:50,097 Hey! 560 00:30:50,098 --> 00:30:51,179 You let them seats alone! 561 00:30:51,183 --> 00:30:53,266 Wait, Number One. 562 00:30:53,268 --> 00:30:55,009 - I think they've got something. - But, sir, they... 563 00:30:55,020 --> 00:30:57,228 Those seats should've been broken up long ago. 564 00:31:09,868 --> 00:31:10,868 Come on, no slagging. 565 00:31:10,869 --> 00:31:11,869 Get down to it. 566 00:31:11,870 --> 00:31:13,156 You crazy? 567 00:31:13,163 --> 00:31:16,122 He's nutty as a fruitcake. 568 00:31:16,124 --> 00:31:17,285 You said you had nowhere to dance. 569 00:31:17,292 --> 00:31:19,830 Well, here's your dance hall. 570 00:31:19,836 --> 00:31:20,836 Cor! 571 00:31:20,879 --> 00:31:22,836 Good old Hornblower! 572 00:31:59,751 --> 00:32:01,242 Anything there of any use? 573 00:32:01,253 --> 00:32:02,835 Some of it's okay. 574 00:32:02,838 --> 00:32:04,955 Except for what it says. 575 00:32:04,965 --> 00:32:07,002 Long live King Edward the seventh. 576 00:32:07,008 --> 00:32:09,000 Dig deeper, you may get up to date. 577 00:32:09,010 --> 00:32:10,751 Long live our glorious Queen. 578 00:32:17,102 --> 00:32:21,563 My rule is 9:00 for the closing of all huts. 579 00:32:21,565 --> 00:32:24,308 And will you please turn that machine off? 580 00:32:24,317 --> 00:32:25,728 Look. 581 00:32:28,864 --> 00:32:30,105 Fred! 582 00:32:37,330 --> 00:32:39,162 Them lights haven't worked since Armistice night. 583 00:32:39,166 --> 00:32:40,828 One-way ticket on the 5:09 584 00:32:40,834 --> 00:32:42,917 I'll never leave home again 585 00:32:42,919 --> 00:32:46,128 Ooey-ooey, ooey-ooh 586 00:32:46,131 --> 00:32:47,872 I wanna be that man there 587 00:32:47,883 --> 00:32:49,624 and see my girl with the golden hair 588 00:32:49,634 --> 00:32:51,250 Wheels are going clickety-clack 589 00:32:51,261 --> 00:32:54,629 and taking me back to my old shack 590 00:32:54,639 --> 00:32:56,847 Got a one-way ticket on the Union Line 591 00:32:56,850 --> 00:32:58,341 Gonna see that girl of mine 592 00:32:58,351 --> 00:32:59,933 A one-way ticket on the 5:09 593 00:33:05,317 --> 00:33:07,024 Trains are coming around the bend 594 00:33:07,027 --> 00:33:08,643 In the tunnel and out again 595 00:33:08,653 --> 00:33:10,519 Black smoke coming up the stack 596 00:33:10,530 --> 00:33:13,944 This old choo-choo's taking me back 597 00:33:16,077 --> 00:33:17,568 Gonna see that girl of mine 598 00:33:27,047 --> 00:33:29,130 Got a one-way ticket on the Union Line 599 00:33:29,132 --> 00:33:30,589 Got to see that girl of mine 600 00:33:30,592 --> 00:33:32,254 A one-way ticket on the 5:09 601 00:33:32,260 --> 00:33:34,422 I'll never leave home again 602 00:33:34,429 --> 00:33:37,547 Ooey-ooey, ooey-ooh 603 00:33:37,557 --> 00:33:39,298 I wanna be that man there 604 00:33:39,309 --> 00:33:41,141 and see my girl with the golden hair 605 00:33:41,144 --> 00:33:42,726 Wheels are going clickety-clack 606 00:33:42,729 --> 00:33:46,222 and taking me back to my old shack 607 00:33:48,235 --> 00:33:51,103 - Gotta see - Good evening, Superintendent. 608 00:33:51,112 --> 00:33:53,399 - Stop that noise! - Play on! 609 00:33:53,406 --> 00:33:55,147 I'm sorry, Superintendent. 610 00:33:55,158 --> 00:33:57,650 I cannot allow you to give orders on my pier 611 00:33:57,661 --> 00:34:01,655 until you have established your authority to do so. 612 00:34:01,665 --> 00:34:06,126 Shall we step outside and discuss the matter? 613 00:34:06,127 --> 00:34:08,289 Won't you bring your men with you? 614 00:34:08,296 --> 00:34:11,539 My crew are quite capable of maintaining order. 615 00:34:12,842 --> 00:34:16,006 Ooey-ooey, ooey-ooh 616 00:34:16,054 --> 00:34:17,795 I'm gonna buy a wedding ring 617 00:34:17,806 --> 00:34:19,388 We'll be married in the spring 618 00:34:19,391 --> 00:34:22,008 Now I take it I must be committing some sort of offense. 619 00:34:22,060 --> 00:34:24,017 That's putting it mildly, sir. 620 00:34:24,062 --> 00:34:25,473 To begin with, dancing is not permitted 621 00:34:25,480 --> 00:34:26,846 at any public place on a Sunday. 622 00:34:26,856 --> 00:34:28,722 Really? How ridiculous. 623 00:34:28,733 --> 00:34:30,224 And furthermore, this pier possesses 624 00:34:30,235 --> 00:34:31,771 no license for dancing in any case. 625 00:34:31,778 --> 00:34:33,019 I will certainly get one. 626 00:34:33,071 --> 00:34:34,312 Where do I go for it? 627 00:34:34,322 --> 00:34:36,279 You'll soon see, Captain. 628 00:34:37,659 --> 00:34:41,403 For permitting music and dancing in premises not so licensed, 629 00:34:41,413 --> 00:34:43,029 you are fined the maximum penalty 630 00:34:43,081 --> 00:34:45,118 of five pounds. 631 00:34:45,125 --> 00:34:48,038 For the other and more serious offense, 632 00:34:48,044 --> 00:34:51,412 permitting music and dancing in a public place on a Sunday, 633 00:34:51,423 --> 00:34:54,507 you will pay £20. 634 00:34:56,886 --> 00:34:58,218 Hmm? 635 00:34:58,221 --> 00:35:00,804 Oh, just a minute. 636 00:35:00,807 --> 00:35:02,218 I'm reminded you made application 637 00:35:02,225 --> 00:35:04,683 for a music and dancing license. 638 00:35:07,814 --> 00:35:10,056 The application is rejected. 639 00:35:20,493 --> 00:35:23,702 It seems I shall have to think of something else. 640 00:35:23,705 --> 00:35:25,822 What about a bar? 641 00:35:25,832 --> 00:35:28,370 I suppose I need a license for that, too. 642 00:35:28,376 --> 00:35:29,537 You suppose? 643 00:35:29,544 --> 00:35:31,911 And I apply for it here, do I? 644 00:35:31,921 --> 00:35:34,083 Captain Ambrose, you haven't got a hope. 645 00:35:34,132 --> 00:35:35,964 Put it right out of your mind, sir. 646 00:35:35,967 --> 00:35:38,254 I don't strike my colors as easily as that. 647 00:35:38,261 --> 00:35:40,799 What is the procedure? 648 00:35:40,805 --> 00:35:43,843 Very well, sir, you've asked for it. 649 00:35:43,850 --> 00:35:45,386 To obtain a license in this country 650 00:35:45,393 --> 00:35:46,884 for the sale of alcoholic beverages... 651 00:35:46,895 --> 00:35:48,682 Just a minute. 652 00:35:48,688 --> 00:35:49,688 Right. 653 00:35:49,689 --> 00:35:51,646 The bar premises having been selected... 654 00:35:51,650 --> 00:35:53,687 Select bar premises. 655 00:35:53,693 --> 00:35:55,776 Notice of the application must be thereto affixed 656 00:35:55,779 --> 00:35:57,065 in a conspicuous position 657 00:35:57,072 --> 00:35:58,813 between 10:00 in the morning and 5:00 in the afternoon 658 00:35:58,823 --> 00:36:01,031 on two consecutive Sundays. 659 00:36:01,034 --> 00:36:02,650 A similar notice must also be affixed 660 00:36:02,661 --> 00:36:04,402 to the door of the parish church. 661 00:36:04,412 --> 00:36:07,325 - For a pub? - Correct, sir. 662 00:36:08,750 --> 00:36:10,241 to the clerk at the Rating Authority, 663 00:36:10,251 --> 00:36:11,492 the chief of police, 664 00:36:11,503 --> 00:36:13,085 and the clerk of the licensing justices, 665 00:36:13,088 --> 00:36:16,456 the last two both requiring also a plan of the premises. 666 00:36:16,466 --> 00:36:17,673 For the granting of any license, 667 00:36:17,676 --> 00:36:19,463 it will be necessary for the court to take notice 668 00:36:19,469 --> 00:36:20,869 of such objections as may be entered 669 00:36:22,097 --> 00:36:24,259 temperance, and/or religious organizations, 670 00:36:24,265 --> 00:36:25,506 and such private individuals 671 00:36:25,517 --> 00:36:27,850 as may fear disturbance of local amenities. 672 00:36:27,852 --> 00:36:30,595 After which one is at liberty to sell a glass of beer. 673 00:36:30,605 --> 00:36:31,641 Should the license be granted, 674 00:36:31,648 --> 00:36:32,855 further application is then required 675 00:36:32,857 --> 00:36:34,314 to be made to the confirming authority, 676 00:36:34,317 --> 00:36:36,024 and in the event of the license being confirmed, 677 00:36:36,027 --> 00:36:37,893 an agreement reached with the Customs and Excise Department 678 00:36:37,904 --> 00:36:39,395 on Monopoly Value, 679 00:36:39,406 --> 00:36:41,113 further and final application may then be made 680 00:36:41,116 --> 00:36:43,199 for an excise license to sell liquor. 681 00:36:45,745 --> 00:36:47,987 And then? 682 00:36:47,997 --> 00:36:49,909 You sell it. 683 00:36:49,916 --> 00:36:53,660 Well, that's all quite clear and straightforward. 684 00:36:53,670 --> 00:36:55,582 Select bar premises. 685 00:37:00,844 --> 00:37:03,131 Well... 686 00:37:03,138 --> 00:37:04,845 This place wouldn't be much of a loss. 687 00:37:04,848 --> 00:37:06,180 Not even to the fish. 688 00:37:06,224 --> 00:37:08,307 Especially when you think of their sex life. 689 00:37:08,309 --> 00:37:09,641 Poor little perishers. 690 00:37:09,644 --> 00:37:12,102 Run a counter along here, 691 00:37:12,105 --> 00:37:13,186 cut a porthole there. 692 00:37:13,231 --> 00:37:14,517 Make a right tight little bar. 693 00:37:14,524 --> 00:37:16,481 Well, that's settled. Get it cleared. 694 00:37:16,484 --> 00:37:17,600 Well, what do we do with the fish? 695 00:37:17,610 --> 00:37:19,146 Put 'em in the drink where they belong. 696 00:37:25,243 --> 00:37:26,484 Here. 697 00:37:45,013 --> 00:37:46,845 Eight bells, sir. Forenoon watch. 698 00:37:46,848 --> 00:37:48,214 Good morning, Number One. 699 00:37:48,266 --> 00:37:49,598 What have you got there? 700 00:37:49,601 --> 00:37:52,139 A... a little present for you, sir. 701 00:37:52,145 --> 00:37:54,057 I... I made it myself. 702 00:37:56,900 --> 00:37:58,186 Thank you, Number One. 703 00:38:00,820 --> 00:38:02,812 And she's a fine, trim craft. 704 00:38:05,867 --> 00:38:07,233 She shall go in a place of honor. 705 00:38:07,285 --> 00:38:08,366 Oh, thank you, sir. 706 00:38:10,789 --> 00:38:12,075 Is that yours, sir? 707 00:38:12,081 --> 00:38:13,697 You flatter me. 708 00:38:13,708 --> 00:38:16,166 It belonged to my great-grandfather. 709 00:38:16,169 --> 00:38:18,252 Admiral Ambrose of the Blue. 710 00:38:18,254 --> 00:38:19,495 Oh! 711 00:38:21,007 --> 00:38:22,123 Good morning, Mr. Duckworth. 712 00:38:22,133 --> 00:38:23,169 Sorry, sir. 713 00:38:23,176 --> 00:38:24,257 First aid kit wanted. 714 00:38:24,260 --> 00:38:26,126 - An accident? - A man fainted, sir. 715 00:38:26,137 --> 00:38:27,799 One of the anglers. 716 00:38:32,977 --> 00:38:36,641 It's a Japanese balloon fish. 717 00:38:36,648 --> 00:38:38,685 It's fantastic! 718 00:38:38,691 --> 00:38:41,434 They never swim west of Sumatra! 719 00:38:41,444 --> 00:38:43,231 Oi, look at this! 720 00:38:44,489 --> 00:38:46,856 No, it's... it's impossible! 721 00:38:46,866 --> 00:38:49,654 - What is it? - Why, it's a... it's a... 722 00:38:54,415 --> 00:38:56,122 Number One... 723 00:38:56,125 --> 00:38:59,539 I think our pier's gonna set people talking. 724 00:38:59,546 --> 00:39:01,208 Mr. Mayor, 725 00:39:01,214 --> 00:39:04,298 I have never hesitated to express my opinion 726 00:39:04,300 --> 00:39:07,668 that Sandcastle Pier is an eyesore, 727 00:39:07,679 --> 00:39:10,467 a blot on our beautiful town. 728 00:39:10,473 --> 00:39:12,305 And now that it has become the property 729 00:39:12,350 --> 00:39:14,262 of a person who seeks, it appears, 730 00:39:14,269 --> 00:39:17,137 only to subvert the morals of our young people... 731 00:39:17,146 --> 00:39:18,512 It's all right, madam. 732 00:39:18,523 --> 00:39:20,310 A person, moreover, 733 00:39:20,316 --> 00:39:21,602 who now has the effrontery 734 00:39:21,609 --> 00:39:24,022 to apply for a license to sell liquor. 735 00:39:24,028 --> 00:39:26,691 Mrs. Barrington, I can set your mind at rest. 736 00:39:27,824 --> 00:39:29,565 I'm very glad to hear it. 737 00:39:29,576 --> 00:39:32,193 Now, the planning committee has been working 738 00:39:32,203 --> 00:39:33,785 for some little time on a scheme 739 00:39:33,788 --> 00:39:36,201 for the improvement of our seafront. 740 00:39:36,207 --> 00:39:39,075 And the result of our efforts, which you have in front of you, 741 00:39:39,085 --> 00:39:40,621 is a plan which is going to mean 742 00:39:40,628 --> 00:39:43,120 the total removal of the pier. 743 00:39:43,131 --> 00:39:45,748 This will be acquired by compulsory purchase, 744 00:39:45,758 --> 00:39:46,999 and its demolition will make room 745 00:39:47,010 --> 00:39:49,502 for the construction of a new marine drive. 746 00:39:49,512 --> 00:39:51,925 I've often thought that was something we badly lacked. 747 00:39:51,931 --> 00:39:53,797 As you can see, this will consist 748 00:39:53,808 --> 00:39:56,095 of a roadway running along the foot of the cliff 749 00:39:56,102 --> 00:39:59,891 and taking in approximately 100 feet of the foreshore. 750 00:39:59,898 --> 00:40:01,264 A hundred feet? 751 00:40:01,274 --> 00:40:03,937 But that will mean moving my bathing huts forward. 752 00:40:03,943 --> 00:40:05,855 I'm afraid this scheme does not envisage 753 00:40:05,862 --> 00:40:09,355 the retention of your bathing huts. 754 00:40:09,365 --> 00:40:12,358 You want to get rid of my huts? 755 00:40:12,368 --> 00:40:13,859 Well, since we're getting rid of the pier... 756 00:40:13,870 --> 00:40:16,157 But my huts have been there for over 30 years. 757 00:40:16,164 --> 00:40:18,030 The pier has been there for 65 years. 758 00:40:18,041 --> 00:40:20,033 I hardly think your huts come into the category 759 00:40:20,043 --> 00:40:22,285 of ancient monuments. 760 00:40:22,295 --> 00:40:25,083 Though, naturally, you'll be offered compensation for them. 761 00:40:26,466 --> 00:40:29,254 And may I inquire what the new owner of the pier 762 00:40:29,260 --> 00:40:31,343 is going to get in the way of compensation? 763 00:40:31,346 --> 00:40:32,382 Hmm? 764 00:40:32,388 --> 00:40:33,845 The figure arrived at by the surveyor 765 00:40:33,848 --> 00:40:36,056 is £2,800. 766 00:40:36,059 --> 00:40:37,721 And may I further inquire, Mr. Mayor, 767 00:40:37,727 --> 00:40:40,936 what you received for the sale of the pier? 768 00:40:42,231 --> 00:40:44,393 That is entirely a private matter. 769 00:40:44,442 --> 00:40:46,684 Very private, I've no doubt. 770 00:40:47,779 --> 00:40:49,111 What you getting at, eh? 771 00:40:49,113 --> 00:40:51,400 Madam, we must not involve ourselves in personal issues. 772 00:40:51,407 --> 00:40:53,490 We're here to serve the community, remember? 773 00:40:53,493 --> 00:40:54,609 Hear, hear. 774 00:40:54,619 --> 00:40:58,112 Gentlemen, I've sat here longer than any of you 775 00:40:58,122 --> 00:41:00,034 and I can remember the time when this council 776 00:41:00,041 --> 00:41:02,749 had a reputation for service to the community 777 00:41:02,752 --> 00:41:05,961 of which it was justly proud. 778 00:41:05,964 --> 00:41:08,422 Self-interest was then a thing unknown. 779 00:41:08,424 --> 00:41:10,165 Are you accusing us of self-interest? 780 00:41:10,176 --> 00:41:11,417 You're a fine one to talk. 781 00:41:11,469 --> 00:41:13,677 All this fuss about those old huts of yours? 782 00:41:13,680 --> 00:41:14,796 Order, please, order. 783 00:41:14,806 --> 00:41:17,890 - Mrs. Barrington... - Thank you, Mr. Mayor. 784 00:41:17,892 --> 00:41:18,973 Under the impact of the blow, 785 00:41:18,977 --> 00:41:20,718 perhaps I have been thinking selfishly 786 00:41:20,728 --> 00:41:23,095 of my own interests. 787 00:41:23,106 --> 00:41:24,106 But at least I can plead 788 00:41:24,107 --> 00:41:26,190 that I'm not the only offender here. 789 00:41:28,903 --> 00:41:31,145 Let the mayor deny that he's made a quick profit 790 00:41:31,155 --> 00:41:33,112 on the sale of the pier. 791 00:41:33,116 --> 00:41:35,108 And let him deny that his firm 792 00:41:35,118 --> 00:41:38,828 will get the contract for this new marine drive. 793 00:41:38,830 --> 00:41:40,571 And you, Mr. Bullen. 794 00:41:40,581 --> 00:41:42,618 Let us hear you declare that you won't take the pier 795 00:41:42,625 --> 00:41:44,161 for scrap when it's demolished. 796 00:41:44,168 --> 00:41:45,454 This is disgraceful. 797 00:41:45,461 --> 00:41:47,248 Madam, your remarks are highly improper. 798 00:41:47,255 --> 00:41:48,336 As a lawyer, I'd better warn you, 799 00:41:48,339 --> 00:41:49,625 they're also gross slander. 800 00:41:49,632 --> 00:41:51,168 Mrs. Barrington, I must demand... 801 00:41:51,175 --> 00:41:53,667 Save your breath, Mr. Mayor. 802 00:41:53,678 --> 00:41:56,921 I'm no longer having any part in this conspiracy. 803 00:41:59,058 --> 00:42:01,596 You will kindly accept my resignation 804 00:42:01,602 --> 00:42:03,764 from the council. 805 00:42:15,533 --> 00:42:17,741 Last of the anglers gone ashore, sir. 806 00:42:17,744 --> 00:42:19,736 - With a catch, I hope. - Two, sir. 807 00:42:19,746 --> 00:42:21,487 East Indian triggerfish and a porcupine eel. 808 00:42:21,539 --> 00:42:23,622 Splendid, all right, darken ship, Number One. 809 00:42:23,624 --> 00:42:24,956 Aye, aye, sir. 810 00:42:30,173 --> 00:42:32,005 Sir! 811 00:42:32,008 --> 00:42:33,008 What is it? 812 00:42:33,009 --> 00:42:35,672 It's a lady friend of ours. 813 00:42:35,678 --> 00:42:37,465 Flying a distress signal. 814 00:42:57,867 --> 00:42:59,779 I hope I'm not intruding, ma'am. 815 00:42:59,786 --> 00:43:03,496 Please leave me alone, mister... captain. 816 00:43:03,498 --> 00:43:05,160 I'm perfectly all right. 817 00:43:05,166 --> 00:43:06,623 I don't like to contradict a lady, 818 00:43:06,626 --> 00:43:08,117 but you seem to be in distress. 819 00:43:08,127 --> 00:43:12,212 Well, if I am, I can hardly expect you to understand. 820 00:43:12,215 --> 00:43:13,751 Please go. 821 00:43:13,758 --> 00:43:15,420 Very well, ma'am. 822 00:43:15,426 --> 00:43:18,260 If you're sure there's nothing I can do. 823 00:43:18,262 --> 00:43:21,755 They're going to take my huts away. 824 00:43:21,766 --> 00:43:23,348 Dear me. 825 00:43:23,351 --> 00:43:25,058 You shall tell me all about it. 826 00:43:25,061 --> 00:43:27,519 My cabin isn't exactly up to battlewagon standards, 827 00:43:27,522 --> 00:43:29,639 but I used to make the best coffee in the water. 828 00:43:29,649 --> 00:43:31,140 Come along. Come on. 829 00:43:40,326 --> 00:43:42,113 And, so, to cut a long story short, 830 00:43:42,120 --> 00:43:44,157 I resigned then and there. 831 00:43:44,163 --> 00:43:45,745 Quite right. 832 00:43:45,748 --> 00:43:47,580 A tot of this to jolly it up? 833 00:43:47,583 --> 00:43:49,245 Oh, no. Please, wait. 834 00:43:49,252 --> 00:43:50,914 - What is it? - Rum, ma'am. 835 00:43:50,920 --> 00:43:51,956 Oh, no. 836 00:43:51,963 --> 00:43:53,124 I never touch alcohol. 837 00:43:53,131 --> 00:43:55,043 Then this is a good time to start. 838 00:43:55,049 --> 00:43:56,881 It's an occasion for splicing the main brace. 839 00:43:56,884 --> 00:43:58,967 - What? - Celebration. 840 00:43:58,970 --> 00:44:00,802 You've resigned from the council. 841 00:44:00,805 --> 00:44:01,886 Oh, but that doesn't mean... 842 00:44:01,889 --> 00:44:03,096 Come along, now. 843 00:44:03,099 --> 00:44:04,931 Strike it down. 844 00:44:08,563 --> 00:44:11,351 Mm, I think perhaps it does improve the coffee. 845 00:44:11,357 --> 00:44:13,895 It improves the world, madam. 846 00:44:13,901 --> 00:44:17,190 - Nothing can alter the facts. - Oh yes it can. 847 00:44:17,196 --> 00:44:19,404 Nobody's going to take your huts away from you. 848 00:44:19,407 --> 00:44:22,445 But you don't realize the powers they have, compulsory purchase... 849 00:44:22,451 --> 00:44:25,068 Mrs. Barrington, you shall put your huts on my pier. 850 00:44:27,456 --> 00:44:31,200 Captain Ambrose, I've misjudged you. 851 00:44:31,210 --> 00:44:32,746 Forget it, ma'am. 852 00:44:32,753 --> 00:44:34,085 Some coffee. 853 00:44:34,088 --> 00:44:37,456 Most generous, a most generous offer. 854 00:44:37,466 --> 00:44:39,458 - I only wish I could accept it... - Listen, ma'am, 855 00:44:39,468 --> 00:44:41,630 there's plenty of deck space, and there's no reason 856 00:44:41,679 --> 00:44:43,762 why we shouldn't carry a bit more top hamper. 857 00:44:43,764 --> 00:44:45,551 I'm not concerned about her looks. 858 00:44:45,558 --> 00:44:47,049 She's an old hooker, and I know it. 859 00:44:47,059 --> 00:44:48,550 Mm, but you don't understand me. 860 00:44:48,561 --> 00:44:50,097 To tell you the truth, I only bought her 861 00:44:50,104 --> 00:44:52,096 because I've always wanted a command of my own, 862 00:44:52,106 --> 00:44:54,814 but this is the only one I could ever arise to. 863 00:44:54,817 --> 00:44:58,936 Just an ugly, old hooker, but I wouldn't change her 864 00:44:58,946 --> 00:45:01,359 for any craft afloat. 865 00:45:04,952 --> 00:45:07,615 Here, steady, steady, this won't do. 866 00:45:07,622 --> 00:45:11,457 Captain Ambrose, I don't know how to tell you. 867 00:45:11,459 --> 00:45:14,497 To tell me what? 868 00:45:14,503 --> 00:45:18,087 I can't put my huts on your pier, because... 869 00:45:23,471 --> 00:45:27,010 they're going to take the pier as well. 870 00:45:27,016 --> 00:45:29,759 They're... 871 00:45:29,769 --> 00:45:31,305 What did you say? 872 00:45:31,312 --> 00:45:34,396 They're going to take it over and demolish it. 873 00:45:38,861 --> 00:45:42,275 They will give you compensation, of course. 874 00:45:42,281 --> 00:45:45,865 2,800 pounds, they said. 875 00:45:45,868 --> 00:45:48,702 But I paid 5,000 for her. 876 00:45:48,704 --> 00:45:51,697 - 5,000? - Every penny I could scrape up. 877 00:45:51,707 --> 00:45:54,415 Ooh. 878 00:45:54,418 --> 00:45:57,911 That crony, that crook! 879 00:45:57,922 --> 00:46:00,539 That horrible swindler! 880 00:46:02,677 --> 00:46:06,170 - The pier wasn't worth that. - She was worth it to me. 881 00:46:06,180 --> 00:46:08,672 Just an ugly, old... what was it you said? 882 00:46:08,683 --> 00:46:10,675 Hoo... hooker, ma'am, 883 00:46:10,685 --> 00:46:13,974 just an old tub, but that's not the point. 884 00:46:13,980 --> 00:46:16,518 I'll tell you something, you've told me a secret, 885 00:46:16,524 --> 00:46:18,641 I'll tell you a secret. 886 00:46:18,651 --> 00:46:22,691 There is no other sort of ship can ever suit me, 887 00:46:22,697 --> 00:46:27,032 and I'll tell you why. 888 00:46:27,034 --> 00:46:29,697 I get seasick. 889 00:46:29,704 --> 00:46:34,039 Permanently, catastrophically seasick. 890 00:46:34,041 --> 00:46:39,036 You poor sailor. 891 00:46:39,213 --> 00:46:43,082 Understand this is the only command I can ever have, 892 00:46:43,092 --> 00:46:44,583 I've got to stop them! 893 00:46:44,593 --> 00:46:47,051 How? The counsel have got the power, 894 00:46:47,054 --> 00:46:48,716 they can do what they like in this town. 895 00:46:48,723 --> 00:46:52,967 My pier is not in this town, she belongs to the sea! 896 00:46:52,977 --> 00:46:57,517 It comes under the jurish... jurisdiction. 897 00:46:57,523 --> 00:46:59,856 Are sure of that, quite sure? 898 00:46:59,859 --> 00:47:04,854 Just like the holiday camp on Starfish Island. 899 00:47:05,448 --> 00:47:09,283 - Holiday camp. - What about it? 900 00:47:09,285 --> 00:47:14,280 My huts, 24 huts, two bunks in each, 901 00:47:14,665 --> 00:47:17,874 holiday camp on the pier! 902 00:47:17,877 --> 00:47:20,415 We could run it together, you and me. 903 00:47:20,421 --> 00:47:23,505 - A holiday camp on the pier. - Wait. 904 00:47:23,507 --> 00:47:28,502 Not a holiday camp... a liner, holiday cruises. 905 00:47:28,554 --> 00:47:30,716 For people like you, always seasick, 906 00:47:30,723 --> 00:47:33,932 never been on a cruise... hundreds of people like that, 907 00:47:33,934 --> 00:47:35,926 - thousands! - The liner that never rocks, 908 00:47:35,936 --> 00:47:40,556 - never rolls. - You've spent your savings. 909 00:47:40,566 --> 00:47:44,901 I could do my savings. 910 00:47:44,904 --> 00:47:48,068 That's very kind of you. 911 00:47:48,074 --> 00:47:50,191 But it's no good. 912 00:47:50,201 --> 00:47:53,035 - A pipe dream. - Partners. 913 00:47:53,037 --> 00:47:57,202 - We'll be partners! - You've forgotten the counsel. 914 00:47:57,208 --> 00:47:59,916 Ohh the counsel. 915 00:47:59,919 --> 00:48:02,332 Going to sink your ship. 916 00:48:02,338 --> 00:48:04,079 Sink my ship? 917 00:48:16,477 --> 00:48:19,015 - But they couldn't, could they? - Couldn't what? 918 00:48:19,021 --> 00:48:22,765 Sink my ship... if she were a ship. 919 00:48:22,775 --> 00:48:27,645 - Mrs. Barrington, listen to me! - Call me Arabella. 920 00:48:27,655 --> 00:48:29,066 Arabella. 921 00:48:32,576 --> 00:48:35,535 But that's beautiful... steady, Arabella. 922 00:48:40,042 --> 00:48:44,036 Ara... bella. 923 00:48:44,046 --> 00:48:45,582 Tonnage? 924 00:48:45,589 --> 00:48:48,878 - 2,116. - Is that dead weight? 925 00:48:48,926 --> 00:48:51,088 It is, indeed. 926 00:48:51,095 --> 00:48:53,132 - Class of ship? - I'm using her 927 00:48:53,139 --> 00:48:54,846 as a pleasure craft. 928 00:48:54,849 --> 00:48:57,557 Passenger vessel. 929 00:48:57,560 --> 00:48:59,017 Port of registry? 930 00:48:59,019 --> 00:49:01,978 Sandcastle-on-Sea. 931 00:49:01,981 --> 00:49:03,438 Something wrong? 932 00:49:03,441 --> 00:49:07,435 No, it's just a little unusual, a seaside resort. 933 00:49:07,445 --> 00:49:09,812 Type and make of engines? 934 00:49:09,822 --> 00:49:12,815 Oil induction, Loveday and Bone. 935 00:49:12,825 --> 00:49:16,034 Loveday and Bone, are they making marine engines now? 936 00:49:16,036 --> 00:49:17,277 They made ours. 937 00:49:17,288 --> 00:49:19,325 I thought they were only light and power. 938 00:49:19,331 --> 00:49:21,698 That's rather interesting. 939 00:49:21,709 --> 00:49:23,917 When and where was your ship built? 940 00:49:23,961 --> 00:49:28,251 - Sandcastle, 1892. - 1892? 941 00:49:28,257 --> 00:49:30,419 Then she must have been on the register for years. 942 00:49:30,426 --> 00:49:33,919 She has never been launched. 943 00:49:33,929 --> 00:49:36,421 I see. 944 00:49:36,432 --> 00:49:38,890 Well, well. 945 00:49:38,893 --> 00:49:41,931 Length? 946 00:49:41,979 --> 00:49:46,519 1,032 feet. 947 00:49:46,525 --> 00:49:49,939 I dare say, that makes her longer than the Queen Elizabeth. 948 00:49:49,945 --> 00:49:53,529 She is. 949 00:49:53,532 --> 00:49:55,364 Hmm. 950 00:49:55,367 --> 00:49:56,949 I shall be interested to see the plans 951 00:49:56,952 --> 00:49:58,659 of this remarkable vessel. 952 00:49:58,662 --> 00:49:59,662 - Plans? - Well surely 953 00:49:59,663 --> 00:50:03,327 you brought them with you. 954 00:50:03,334 --> 00:50:04,825 - Are they essential? - Well certainly 955 00:50:04,835 --> 00:50:06,451 they're essential, you can't register a ship 956 00:50:06,462 --> 00:50:08,829 in this country until we've approved our plans. 957 00:50:08,839 --> 00:50:11,377 - This isn't Liberama. - Liberama. 958 00:50:11,383 --> 00:50:13,295 Some of those countries would register a washtub 959 00:50:13,302 --> 00:50:15,589 for the sake of the fees. 960 00:50:15,596 --> 00:50:17,007 Liberama. 961 00:50:21,685 --> 00:50:25,178 1,032 feet. 962 00:50:25,189 --> 00:50:27,772 Well now let me see, what figure would that be in meters? 963 00:50:27,775 --> 00:50:30,188 I haven't worked it out. 964 00:50:30,194 --> 00:50:33,232 Well no matter, it's a technicality. 965 00:50:33,239 --> 00:50:37,984 But now, Captain, I have to be a little bit more specific. 966 00:50:38,035 --> 00:50:41,278 International shipping regulations, you understand. 967 00:50:41,288 --> 00:50:42,904 You carry radio, of course? 968 00:50:42,915 --> 00:50:45,783 Of course, and a television set on order. 969 00:50:45,793 --> 00:50:48,581 Really? Most enterprising. 970 00:50:48,587 --> 00:50:50,829 Lifeboats, fog warning system? 971 00:50:50,839 --> 00:50:52,956 - All in hand. - And radar? 972 00:50:52,967 --> 00:50:55,425 That's an idea, and more entertaining than TV. 973 00:50:55,427 --> 00:50:57,919 I'll see what I can do, thank you for the suggestion. 974 00:50:57,930 --> 00:50:59,466 It's a pleasure. 975 00:50:59,473 --> 00:51:03,808 Well, that is really all I require here. 976 00:51:03,811 --> 00:51:07,771 Except a little matter of registration fee. 977 00:51:07,773 --> 00:51:12,393 - If you please. - Oh, thank you. 978 00:51:12,403 --> 00:51:15,316 My government will inform Lloyd's in the usual way 979 00:51:15,322 --> 00:51:18,486 about this addition to our merchant Navy. 980 00:51:18,492 --> 00:51:20,449 When is the launching ceremony? 981 00:51:20,452 --> 00:51:22,535 Soon as we've finished work on her superstructure. 982 00:52:42,743 --> 00:52:45,201 I name this ship Arabella! 983 00:52:45,204 --> 00:52:47,992 Good luck! 984 00:52:47,998 --> 00:52:49,034 Ooh! 985 00:52:51,168 --> 00:52:54,081 Try again! 986 00:52:54,088 --> 00:52:57,297 I name this ship... Arabella. 987 00:53:00,177 --> 00:53:03,921 Good luck to all who never sail in her. 988 00:53:03,931 --> 00:53:05,467 Aye! 989 00:53:08,227 --> 00:53:09,763 - Hooray, hooray, hooray! - Hooray, hooray, hooray! 990 00:53:09,770 --> 00:53:11,887 - Hey, hey, hey! - Hey, hey, hey! 991 00:53:33,293 --> 00:53:35,000 Fog warning, on a day like this? 992 00:53:35,003 --> 00:53:36,585 - Fella must be mad. - He'll be mad all right 993 00:53:36,588 --> 00:53:38,500 when he sees this... come on. 994 00:53:40,968 --> 00:53:41,968 Aye. 995 00:53:47,641 --> 00:53:49,382 Welcome aboard, ma'am. 996 00:53:49,393 --> 00:53:51,726 - A great day, Captain. - The crew is lined up 997 00:53:51,729 --> 00:53:54,938 - for your inspection. - Oh, how sweet of them! 998 00:53:57,735 --> 00:54:00,068 One can't help feeling sorry for the poor devil, you know, 999 00:54:00,070 --> 00:54:01,561 the money this must be costing. 1000 00:54:01,572 --> 00:54:03,689 What beats me is where he gets it all from. 1001 00:54:03,699 --> 00:54:05,782 What did he pay Mrs. Barrington for these huts? 1002 00:54:05,784 --> 00:54:09,653 I haven't set eyes on her since she walked out on us. 1003 00:54:09,663 --> 00:54:11,495 Oh-ho! 1004 00:54:13,834 --> 00:54:14,834 So there she is. 1005 00:54:14,835 --> 00:54:16,542 What on earth is she doing here? 1006 00:54:19,465 --> 00:54:21,047 Good afternoon, gentlemen. 1007 00:54:21,049 --> 00:54:23,006 We were not expecting visitors today, but... 1008 00:54:23,010 --> 00:54:24,717 Captain Ambrose, as mayor of this borough, 1009 00:54:24,720 --> 00:54:26,712 it's my duty to hand you this. 1010 00:54:26,722 --> 00:54:30,215 A civic welcome, how very generous. 1011 00:54:30,225 --> 00:54:32,968 Order for compulsory purchase. 1012 00:54:32,978 --> 00:54:35,186 There's been a mistake, that can't apply here. 1013 00:54:35,189 --> 00:54:37,351 - I'm afraid it does. - You read it, Captain Ambrose. 1014 00:54:37,357 --> 00:54:39,064 - You'll soon see. - I really don't think 1015 00:54:39,067 --> 00:54:40,933 there's any need, Mr. Mayor. 1016 00:54:40,944 --> 00:54:42,560 I know quite well a local authority 1017 00:54:42,571 --> 00:54:45,689 has no power to acquire a ship. 1018 00:54:45,699 --> 00:54:47,861 Did you say a ship? 1019 00:54:47,868 --> 00:54:49,655 The passenger vessel Arabella, 1020 00:54:49,661 --> 00:54:54,577 registered under the ensign of Liberama. 1021 00:54:54,583 --> 00:54:56,540 But you're out of your mind. 1022 00:54:56,543 --> 00:54:59,331 If you wish for confirmation, here is the latest supplement 1023 00:54:59,338 --> 00:55:01,796 to Lloyd's register. 1024 00:55:01,799 --> 00:55:05,759 - But you can't do this. - I have done it. 1025 00:55:05,761 --> 00:55:08,344 Would you do us the honor, ma'am, of giving us the order. 1026 00:55:08,347 --> 00:55:10,714 With pleasure, Captain. 1027 00:55:10,724 --> 00:55:14,889 Splice the mainbrace! 1028 00:55:14,895 --> 00:55:17,012 Come and get it! 1029 00:55:17,022 --> 00:55:19,435 Up spirits! 1030 00:55:34,289 --> 00:55:37,703 - Thank you. - Will you join us, gentlemen? 1031 00:55:43,715 --> 00:55:45,422 Well, that seems to be that. 1032 00:55:45,425 --> 00:55:47,667 I hope so, Captain. 1033 00:55:47,678 --> 00:55:50,512 Mr. Crowley stands to lose a great deal by this. 1034 00:55:50,514 --> 00:55:52,631 More than he can afford. 1035 00:55:52,641 --> 00:55:54,803 You must keep your weather eye open. 1036 00:55:54,810 --> 00:55:56,517 It never closes, ma'am. 1037 00:55:59,898 --> 00:56:03,016 Book now for the maiden voyage of R.M.S. 1038 00:56:03,026 --> 00:56:06,235 (really motionless ship) Arabella. 1039 00:56:06,238 --> 00:56:08,446 The ship that never rocks, never rolls. 1040 00:56:08,448 --> 00:56:11,407 - I'll rock and roll 'em. - No currency restrictions. 1041 00:56:11,410 --> 00:56:13,527 My currency's gonna be restricted though. 1042 00:56:13,537 --> 00:56:15,324 I was counting on that scrap metal deal. 1043 00:56:15,372 --> 00:56:17,614 - And what about you? - That'll do, Bullen. 1044 00:56:17,624 --> 00:56:18,990 I want to know the planning committee's legal rights. 1045 00:56:19,001 --> 00:56:20,617 Yes, after all, 1046 00:56:20,627 --> 00:56:22,619 we have been authorized to build the marine drive. 1047 00:56:22,629 --> 00:56:24,336 And as long as that confounded pier is standing, 1048 00:56:24,339 --> 00:56:26,126 we can't even make a start. 1049 00:56:26,133 --> 00:56:28,295 Well, I'm afraid we have to accept the fact that, in law, 1050 00:56:28,302 --> 00:56:31,466 the pier is now a ship, but at least we can see to it 1051 00:56:31,471 --> 00:56:34,714 that these cruises of his are a very uneconomic proposition. 1052 00:57:10,636 --> 00:57:13,344 - Oh look, did he? - Yes. 1053 00:57:39,957 --> 00:57:41,664 Good morning, gentlemen, is it possible 1054 00:57:41,667 --> 00:57:43,499 you have booked passage with us? 1055 00:57:43,502 --> 00:57:45,835 Not today, Ambrose... you might say we represent 1056 00:57:45,837 --> 00:57:48,750 - the port authority. - We have you to thank, Captain, 1057 00:57:48,757 --> 00:57:50,339 for making us a seaport. 1058 00:57:50,342 --> 00:57:52,334 I'm glad I've been able to please you. 1059 00:57:52,344 --> 00:57:54,506 A splendid new source of income for the town. 1060 00:57:54,513 --> 00:57:57,677 Mr. Chailey, what are the harbor dues for the Arabella? 1061 00:57:57,683 --> 00:58:00,221 According to the authorized scale of harbor dues 1062 00:58:00,227 --> 00:58:02,310 for English seaports, a ship of this size, 1063 00:58:02,312 --> 00:58:05,521 for each day at her birth, is chargeable to the amount of 1064 00:58:09,194 --> 00:58:12,312 247 pounds? 1065 00:58:12,322 --> 00:58:14,188 A lot of money. 1066 00:58:14,199 --> 00:58:16,031 Too much, I think, ma'am, for the attractions 1067 00:58:16,034 --> 00:58:18,026 which Sandcastle has to offer. 1068 00:58:18,036 --> 00:58:19,152 Refuse to pay and we take you to court. 1069 00:58:19,162 --> 00:58:20,949 - Mr. Merrick. - Sir. 1070 00:58:20,956 --> 00:58:23,323 Send the ship's carpenter here with an axe. 1071 00:58:23,333 --> 00:58:24,995 - Aye, aye, sir. - And run up the blue peter, 1072 00:58:25,002 --> 00:58:27,540 we sail with this tide. 1073 00:58:27,546 --> 00:58:29,333 As officials of the port authority, you realize, 1074 00:58:29,339 --> 00:58:32,252 of course, that harbor dues are only payable so long as 1075 00:58:32,259 --> 00:58:35,377 a ship is lying in her moorings. 1076 00:58:35,387 --> 00:58:40,303 Uhh... I shall require notice of that question. 1077 00:58:40,308 --> 00:58:41,674 I thought you might. 1078 00:58:41,685 --> 00:58:43,221 Are you coming with us, gentlemen? 1079 00:58:43,228 --> 00:58:46,392 If not, I must ask you to step ashore. 1080 00:58:46,398 --> 00:58:48,390 We're about to cast off. 1081 00:58:48,400 --> 00:58:50,642 Chips, sever those planks. 1082 00:59:20,557 --> 00:59:23,345 - Bye! - Bye! 1083 01:00:09,940 --> 01:00:12,808 What do you make of her, Mr. Duckworth? 1084 01:00:12,818 --> 01:00:14,559 It's a dredger, sir. 1085 01:00:14,569 --> 01:00:17,232 Working on the deep water channel, she's an old friend. 1086 01:00:20,200 --> 01:00:22,908 - You know her skipper. - Who, Figg? 1087 01:00:22,911 --> 01:00:24,277 Figg, sir. 1088 01:00:24,287 --> 01:00:26,153 Back on his old job, eh? 1089 01:00:26,164 --> 01:00:28,076 She's all yours, Mr. Duckworth. 1090 01:00:40,095 --> 01:00:43,463 No, no, the fancy one! 1091 01:00:43,473 --> 01:00:46,090 That one over there. 1092 01:00:46,101 --> 01:00:47,683 How much is it? 1093 01:00:47,686 --> 01:00:50,599 No, the other one. 1094 01:00:50,647 --> 01:00:53,264 Take my advice, ma'am, don't trust the natives. 1095 01:00:53,275 --> 01:00:54,356 Oh. 1096 01:01:05,871 --> 01:01:07,908 One shilling, sir. 1097 01:01:07,914 --> 01:01:09,826 Only a buck for a scotch? 1098 01:01:09,833 --> 01:01:12,120 We're at sea now, sir, duty-free. 1099 01:01:12,127 --> 01:01:14,790 - Make it a treble. - Righto, sir. 1100 01:01:35,025 --> 01:01:37,813 My sister Agnes now, she's just like a horse, 1101 01:01:37,819 --> 01:01:39,526 never been sick in her life. 1102 01:01:39,529 --> 01:01:41,862 Only last week she came back from a cruise in the Med, 1103 01:01:41,865 --> 01:01:43,777 and when she told us that she sat at the Captain's table, 1104 01:01:43,783 --> 01:01:45,399 I said to my husband, "Bertie" I said, 1105 01:01:45,410 --> 01:01:47,652 "if you don't get us seats at the Captain's table, 1106 01:01:47,704 --> 01:01:50,742 I'm going to"... well, what has happened to Bertie. 1107 01:01:50,749 --> 01:01:53,457 First night out, bound to be a few missing at table. 1108 01:01:53,460 --> 01:01:55,827 - Steward. - Sir. 1109 01:01:55,837 --> 01:01:58,420 Bring me a bottle of Taylor '07 from the port bin. 1110 01:01:58,423 --> 01:01:59,834 Port's in the starboard bin, sir. 1111 01:01:59,841 --> 01:02:02,675 Then sweep to starboard, T for Taylor '07. 1112 01:02:02,677 --> 01:02:05,010 T for Taylor '07, sir. 1113 01:02:27,369 --> 01:02:32,364 - Key to the door 2121. - Doctor's orders. 1114 01:02:32,415 --> 01:02:34,702 Number nine. 1115 01:02:34,751 --> 01:02:37,915 - Unlucky for some. - 1313. 1116 01:02:37,921 --> 01:02:40,083 Somebody in the water out there under the ship 1117 01:02:40,090 --> 01:02:42,377 swimming like a fish. 1118 01:02:42,384 --> 01:02:44,250 Well, I expect it was a mermaid, sir. 1119 01:02:44,261 --> 01:02:47,504 Lots of them about at this time of the year. 1120 01:02:47,514 --> 01:02:49,972 - Legs 11. - Number 11. 1121 01:02:49,975 --> 01:02:52,934 Bingo, I won! 1122 01:02:58,316 --> 01:03:00,524 And though this boat drill is only a rehearsal for something 1123 01:03:00,527 --> 01:03:03,736 that won't ever happen, still we have to obey 1124 01:03:03,780 --> 01:03:05,646 international shipping regulations. 1125 01:03:05,657 --> 01:03:07,569 Mrs. Hopkin's, you're back to front. 1126 01:03:07,575 --> 01:03:09,407 Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. 1127 01:03:12,622 --> 01:03:15,035 Mr. Thomas, check lifeboats' gear. 1128 01:03:15,041 --> 01:03:16,907 - Aye, aye, sir. - Right that-a way. 1129 01:03:19,879 --> 01:03:22,371 Handsomely, lads, handsomely. 1130 01:03:25,927 --> 01:03:27,543 There's a man down there! 1131 01:03:35,270 --> 01:03:36,386 Evie! 1132 01:03:48,783 --> 01:03:51,446 Oh, Captain, I've just been telling my sister, 1133 01:03:51,453 --> 01:03:54,196 we've got everything she ever had on any of her cruises. 1134 01:03:54,205 --> 01:03:57,448 - Not a single thing missing. - Not even your breakfast. 1135 01:03:57,459 --> 01:04:00,577 May I have a word with you, sir? 1136 01:04:00,587 --> 01:04:02,078 Oh, lovely! 1137 01:04:03,840 --> 01:04:06,332 Come along now, what were you doing down there? 1138 01:04:06,343 --> 01:04:09,507 - Swimming. - But why under the pier? 1139 01:04:09,512 --> 01:04:11,674 Well, why not? It's a free ocean, isn't it? 1140 01:04:11,681 --> 01:04:13,468 - Now see here you! - Just a minute. 1141 01:04:13,475 --> 01:04:15,216 What's your name? 1142 01:04:15,226 --> 01:04:18,515 - Davy Jones. - All right, throw him back. 1143 01:04:29,741 --> 01:04:31,949 Sir, do you reckon it was him who shook up 1144 01:04:31,951 --> 01:04:33,567 the poor old Major last night? 1145 01:04:33,578 --> 01:04:36,161 If it was, he must have been here for some purpose. 1146 01:04:36,164 --> 01:04:38,451 Let's have another go at him. 1147 01:04:38,458 --> 01:04:41,451 Ha-ha-ha, too late. 1148 01:04:41,461 --> 01:04:44,249 We've learned from this underwater survey that 1149 01:04:44,255 --> 01:04:49,171 the pier supports go down into the seabed for some 15 feet. 1150 01:04:49,177 --> 01:04:51,510 Now, the safety margin, our surveyor tells me, 1151 01:04:51,513 --> 01:04:54,802 - is 12 feet. - Councilor Figg's dredger. 1152 01:04:54,808 --> 01:04:56,595 - Precisely. - Yes, but Mr. Mayor... 1153 01:04:56,601 --> 01:04:59,935 We have only to dredge away three feet of mud, and... 1154 01:04:59,938 --> 01:05:01,395 But they'll have us for damages, 1155 01:05:01,398 --> 01:05:03,264 - heavy damages. - How come, Mr. Chailey? 1156 01:05:03,274 --> 01:05:04,731 We shan't be laying a finger on them. 1157 01:05:04,734 --> 01:05:06,066 - Mr. Mayor... - We should merely be 1158 01:05:06,069 --> 01:05:08,732 deepening the harbor for this so-called ship, 1159 01:05:08,738 --> 01:05:11,151 and making sure at the same time that her first cruise 1160 01:05:11,157 --> 01:05:13,490 will also be her last. 1161 01:05:13,493 --> 01:05:16,281 But do we want it to be her last? 1162 01:05:16,287 --> 01:05:18,529 I beg your pardon, Mr. Timmins. 1163 01:05:18,540 --> 01:05:20,623 I can't help wondering, Mr. Mayor, whether we're not 1164 01:05:20,625 --> 01:05:22,867 making a great mistake going to all these lengths 1165 01:05:22,877 --> 01:05:24,584 to get rid of the pier. 1166 01:05:24,587 --> 01:05:27,079 - Are you mad? - I know we agreed to scrap it, 1167 01:05:27,090 --> 01:05:29,673 but that was before Captain Ambrose came along. 1168 01:05:29,676 --> 01:05:31,963 We didn't anticipate all this publicity. 1169 01:05:31,970 --> 01:05:34,587 It has put Sandcastle very much on the front page. 1170 01:05:34,597 --> 01:05:35,883 And what has that done for the town 1171 01:05:35,890 --> 01:05:37,552 except turn it into a vulgar joke? 1172 01:05:37,559 --> 01:05:39,221 It's attracted a lot of visitors, 1173 01:05:39,227 --> 01:05:40,718 and visitors mean money. 1174 01:05:40,728 --> 01:05:42,845 Just so, I think Mr. Chailey is quite right. 1175 01:05:42,856 --> 01:05:45,018 Whether we like it or not, Sandcastle Pier 1176 01:05:45,024 --> 01:05:46,356 is famous today all over the country. 1177 01:05:46,359 --> 01:05:47,895 Yes, yes, well that's what I mean... 1178 01:05:47,902 --> 01:05:50,189 If you don't mind, if we were to get rid of it now, 1179 01:05:50,196 --> 01:05:51,983 I can visualize quite a public outcry. 1180 01:05:51,990 --> 01:05:53,697 I thought it was your opinion, Mr. Chailey, 1181 01:05:53,700 --> 01:05:56,113 that we badly lacked a marine drive. 1182 01:05:56,119 --> 01:05:58,281 But as you pointed out yourself, Mr. Mayor, that would mean 1183 01:05:58,288 --> 01:05:59,824 the removal of the pier, which is something 1184 01:05:59,831 --> 01:06:01,538 we might now bitterly regret. 1185 01:06:01,541 --> 01:06:04,375 I do personally feel that Mr. Chailey has come up with 1186 01:06:04,377 --> 01:06:06,164 a most valuable suggestion. 1187 01:06:06,171 --> 01:06:08,163 Here, here. 1188 01:06:09,299 --> 01:06:11,461 But to give up now... 1189 01:06:11,468 --> 01:06:14,176 Make us more of a laughing stock than ever. 1190 01:06:14,179 --> 01:06:16,546 The next thing we know you'll be wanting to subsidize the pier. 1191 01:06:16,556 --> 01:06:18,596 Well I think today it'd be a pretty good investment. 1192 01:06:19,559 --> 01:06:21,767 Well what exactly are you proposing? 1193 01:06:21,769 --> 01:06:24,227 I propose that approaches be made to Captain Ambrose 1194 01:06:24,230 --> 01:06:26,096 and Mrs. Barrington, with a view to the counsel 1195 01:06:26,107 --> 01:06:27,814 participating with them in the management of the pier. 1196 01:06:27,817 --> 01:06:29,934 - I second that! - Order, please! 1197 01:06:29,986 --> 01:06:33,696 - Vote, vote! - Come on, vote, vote, please. 1198 01:06:33,698 --> 01:06:35,485 We were outvoted, and it's all your fault 1199 01:06:35,492 --> 01:06:37,859 - for not coming to the meeting. - What, before I'd had my bath? 1200 01:06:37,869 --> 01:06:39,110 You wouldn't have liked it much if I'd come 1201 01:06:39,120 --> 01:06:40,782 straight from the dredger. 1202 01:06:40,788 --> 01:06:42,154 But your vote would've made all the difference. 1203 01:06:42,165 --> 01:06:44,248 Now you've got to help us. 1204 01:06:44,250 --> 01:06:46,367 Well we can't dredge, that's certain, they hear us. 1205 01:06:46,377 --> 01:06:50,246 Yes, of course we can't, but there's another way. 1206 01:06:50,256 --> 01:06:53,920 You can pull it down. 1207 01:06:53,927 --> 01:06:55,793 - That's a lot to ask. - Well there's a lot at stake, 1208 01:06:55,803 --> 01:06:57,294 and not only for me. 1209 01:06:57,305 --> 01:06:59,262 You're all in on the marine drive contract, 1210 01:06:59,265 --> 01:07:00,426 but there won't be a penny for anyone 1211 01:07:00,433 --> 01:07:02,846 if that pier remains standing. 1212 01:07:02,852 --> 01:07:04,764 We couldn't pull down more than a bit of it. 1213 01:07:04,771 --> 01:07:06,979 But don't you see, if only part of it collapses 1214 01:07:07,023 --> 01:07:09,185 for no apparent reason except old age, 1215 01:07:09,192 --> 01:07:10,558 it'll be the easiest thing in the world 1216 01:07:10,568 --> 01:07:13,857 to get the whole condemned as unsafe. 1217 01:07:13,863 --> 01:07:15,855 Well you'll have to come and crew for me. 1218 01:07:15,865 --> 01:07:17,447 - Us? - Well I can't do it 1219 01:07:17,450 --> 01:07:19,658 all by myself, and I'm not trusting my crew. 1220 01:07:19,661 --> 01:07:21,573 That'd have the black on me for the rest of my life. 1221 01:07:21,579 --> 01:07:23,320 How many do you need? 1222 01:07:23,331 --> 01:07:25,323 - A couple more would do it. - I don't think I'll be much use. 1223 01:07:25,333 --> 01:07:27,416 - My doctors warned me. - Well you little rat. 1224 01:07:27,418 --> 01:07:30,001 - What about my ulcer? - Gentlemen, gentlemen! 1225 01:07:30,004 --> 01:07:32,166 Why the sudden cold feet? 1226 01:07:32,173 --> 01:07:34,881 Nobody outside these four walls is ever likely to learn 1227 01:07:34,884 --> 01:07:36,625 the facts behind this incident, 1228 01:07:36,636 --> 01:07:38,593 provided, that is, that we all stick together. 1229 01:07:38,596 --> 01:07:39,928 That's just what I was gonna say. 1230 01:07:39,931 --> 01:07:41,263 Well if he only needs two of us... 1231 01:07:41,266 --> 01:07:43,178 - You and Bullen. - Yeah, what's that? 1232 01:07:43,184 --> 01:07:45,096 - You're not dodging out. - Nobody's dodging out. 1233 01:07:45,103 --> 01:07:46,890 Well really, Figg, in my position... 1234 01:07:46,896 --> 01:07:49,229 I'm not leaving anybody behind who knows what the game is. 1235 01:07:49,232 --> 01:07:50,939 But you can't expect the Mayor of Sandcastle 1236 01:07:50,942 --> 01:07:52,183 to put to seas a dredger head. 1237 01:07:52,193 --> 01:07:53,855 If you don't go, I'm certainly not going. 1238 01:07:57,407 --> 01:07:59,399 What I say goes! 1239 01:08:17,635 --> 01:08:21,299 I think it's perfectly lovely, don't you agree, Captain? 1240 01:08:21,306 --> 01:08:23,969 - The belle of the ball. - Thank you, Captain. 1241 01:08:23,975 --> 01:08:26,763 I'm afraid I haven't worn it very much lately. 1242 01:08:26,769 --> 01:08:29,227 Mr. Thomas rode me ashore to get it. 1243 01:08:29,230 --> 01:08:30,812 Rode you ashore? 1244 01:08:30,815 --> 01:08:33,307 - Don't you suffer? - Suffer? 1245 01:08:33,318 --> 01:08:34,980 Oh, from seasickness? 1246 01:08:34,986 --> 01:08:36,568 No, I'm fortunate. 1247 01:08:36,571 --> 01:08:38,358 I did once, mind you, when I was quite a girl, 1248 01:08:38,364 --> 01:08:39,445 but I got over it. 1249 01:08:39,449 --> 01:08:41,156 How? 1250 01:08:41,159 --> 01:08:44,823 Oh, well I suppose I just grew out of it. 1251 01:08:44,829 --> 01:08:48,948 Oh, you were lucky. 1252 01:08:48,958 --> 01:08:51,701 Oh dear, I nearly let it out. 1253 01:08:51,711 --> 01:08:54,704 It wouldn't do for our customers to know the cure, would it? 1254 01:08:54,714 --> 01:08:56,455 - The cure? - Well it cured me. 1255 01:08:56,466 --> 01:08:58,799 Mrs. Barrington, for years, the best medical brains 1256 01:08:58,801 --> 01:09:00,292 at the disposal of the admiraltry 1257 01:09:00,303 --> 01:09:02,090 have been trying to find, without success, 1258 01:09:02,096 --> 01:09:05,089 a cure for seasickness, and you stand here 1259 01:09:05,099 --> 01:09:06,886 and calmly announce that you know one? 1260 01:09:06,893 --> 01:09:09,931 Yes, it's really quite simple. 1261 01:09:09,937 --> 01:09:12,600 You just stuff your ears with cotton wool 1262 01:09:12,607 --> 01:09:14,769 and wear very tight corsets. 1263 01:09:14,776 --> 01:09:16,517 I thought for a moment you were serious. 1264 01:09:16,527 --> 01:09:21,522 - I am serious, it never fails. - Tight corsets. 1265 01:09:21,949 --> 01:09:24,692 Anything in sight? 1266 01:09:24,702 --> 01:09:28,946 Ah, see that dot? 1267 01:09:28,956 --> 01:09:30,618 A ship approaching. 1268 01:09:30,625 --> 01:09:33,208 In a moment you'll see her alter course to avoid us. 1269 01:09:36,631 --> 01:09:40,090 Cutting it a bit fine, isn't she? 1270 01:09:40,093 --> 01:09:41,584 Any moment now. 1271 01:09:49,018 --> 01:09:50,384 She's going to collide with us! 1272 01:09:50,395 --> 01:09:55,140 Come, come. 1273 01:09:55,191 --> 01:09:57,524 She has collided with us. 1274 01:09:57,527 --> 01:10:00,770 - I didn't feel any shock. - No collision. 1275 01:10:00,780 --> 01:10:04,239 It's a small craft passing under the pier. 1276 01:10:04,242 --> 01:10:07,451 In a moment you'll see her come out on the other side. 1277 01:10:16,003 --> 01:10:18,746 She sunk! 1278 01:10:18,756 --> 01:10:21,749 Look, sir. 1279 01:10:24,929 --> 01:10:26,966 Ladies and gentlemen, will you excuse me? 1280 01:10:26,973 --> 01:10:28,839 Steward, look after my guests. 1281 01:10:28,850 --> 01:10:30,432 Number One, come with me. 1282 01:10:45,241 --> 01:10:48,075 Figg's dredger! 1283 01:10:48,077 --> 01:10:51,696 What the blazes does he think he's doing? 1284 01:10:51,706 --> 01:10:53,072 Look, sir! 1285 01:11:01,966 --> 01:11:03,582 Clear away boats for launching. 1286 01:11:03,593 --> 01:11:05,710 - Aye, aye, sir. - Need a boarding party. 1287 01:11:05,720 --> 01:11:08,463 - You and Duckworth. - Sir, but... 1288 01:11:08,473 --> 01:11:11,307 But you'll take command, sir? 1289 01:11:11,309 --> 01:11:12,925 I'm afraid not. 1290 01:11:12,935 --> 01:11:14,722 You carry on, Number One. 1291 01:11:28,075 --> 01:11:31,068 All hands! 1292 01:11:31,078 --> 01:11:32,159 Excuse me. 1293 01:11:33,831 --> 01:11:35,948 There's no cause for alarm, you're all quite safe. 1294 01:11:35,958 --> 01:11:37,494 Excuse me, please. 1295 01:12:27,093 --> 01:12:29,426 Gentlemen. 1296 01:12:29,428 --> 01:12:31,761 Gentlemen, I am about to engage the enemy. 1297 01:12:42,817 --> 01:12:44,149 Let up. 1298 01:12:44,151 --> 01:12:45,858 Number one, I'm taking command. 1299 01:12:45,862 --> 01:12:47,694 Aye, aye, sir! 1300 01:12:47,697 --> 01:12:50,940 - What, come out of there! - Let 'em be. 1301 01:12:50,950 --> 01:12:53,067 This is a job for small craft. 1302 01:12:53,077 --> 01:12:55,820 Mr. Duckworth, fetch an axe... Number One, follow me. 1303 01:12:55,830 --> 01:12:58,994 Captain, one moment. 1304 01:12:59,000 --> 01:13:00,992 This is no time for jokes, ma'am. 1305 01:13:01,002 --> 01:13:05,588 Breathe in. 1306 01:13:05,590 --> 01:13:09,334 It's not as good as a corset, but it'll have to do. 1307 01:13:09,343 --> 01:13:10,754 Wait. 1308 01:13:12,638 --> 01:13:15,631 Useless, I've tried all the drugs there are. 1309 01:13:15,641 --> 01:13:18,054 Not drugs... 1310 01:13:18,060 --> 01:13:19,642 Plugs. 1311 01:13:23,649 --> 01:13:25,481 There. 1312 01:13:25,484 --> 01:13:27,225 Good luck, Captain. 1313 01:13:27,236 --> 01:13:30,900 I shall do my duty, ma'am, to the best of my disability. 1314 01:13:36,495 --> 01:13:39,158 Now go forward. 1315 01:13:39,165 --> 01:13:41,703 All gone forward! 1316 01:13:41,709 --> 01:13:44,122 - Helm amidships. - Helm amidships! 1317 01:13:44,128 --> 01:13:47,496 - Slow astern. - Slow astern! 1318 01:13:56,057 --> 01:13:58,515 - Stop engines. - Stop engines! 1319 01:14:11,447 --> 01:14:13,234 It works! 1320 01:14:16,410 --> 01:14:18,197 - Form line ahead. - Form line ahead! 1321 01:14:18,204 --> 01:14:19,536 - Port wheel. - Port wheel! 1322 01:14:19,538 --> 01:14:21,905 - Full speed ahead. - Full speed ahead! 1323 01:14:38,849 --> 01:14:40,966 Go astern down and try again! 1324 01:14:40,977 --> 01:14:43,264 We'll do it next time! 1325 01:15:05,376 --> 01:15:06,912 Get over! 1326 01:15:34,655 --> 01:15:36,487 Enemy in sight, sir! 1327 01:15:36,532 --> 01:15:38,945 Quite all right, thank you, never felt better. 1328 01:15:38,951 --> 01:15:42,444 Duckworth, take your ship in and destroy the halter. 1329 01:15:42,455 --> 01:15:45,243 Take independent action, execute! 1330 01:16:00,431 --> 01:16:02,172 It's coming! 1331 01:16:05,019 --> 01:16:07,636 They're after us! 1332 01:16:07,646 --> 01:16:09,603 They mustn't find me here... cut loose! 1333 01:16:09,607 --> 01:16:11,644 Get rid of the halter! 1334 01:16:11,650 --> 01:16:14,814 No, no, leave that, I'll fix them! 1335 01:16:32,338 --> 01:16:34,625 Dig those crazy sugar tongs. 1336 01:16:42,807 --> 01:16:44,844 Come and get me! 1337 01:16:44,850 --> 01:16:46,807 Mad hopper! 1338 01:16:56,862 --> 01:16:59,605 Here I am, Figg, do your worst! 1339 01:17:12,586 --> 01:17:14,373 Look! 1340 01:17:14,380 --> 01:17:16,372 They're cutting the halter! 1341 01:17:35,317 --> 01:17:36,558 Got him! 1342 01:17:38,904 --> 01:17:40,566 - Where is he? - Give him time... 1343 01:17:40,573 --> 01:17:42,485 what goes down must come up. 1344 01:17:42,491 --> 01:17:45,279 - What's the matter? - He hasn't come up yet. 1345 01:17:45,286 --> 01:17:47,994 Look. 1346 01:17:47,997 --> 01:17:49,829 We've drowned him. 1347 01:17:57,089 --> 01:17:58,250 What's the idea of leaving the wheel? 1348 01:17:58,257 --> 01:17:59,543 We've lost steerage way. 1349 01:17:59,550 --> 01:18:01,257 - There's no sign of him. - We've killed him. 1350 01:18:01,260 --> 01:18:02,421 - We'll swing for this. - Shut up! 1351 01:18:02,428 --> 01:18:04,260 Ahoy! 1352 01:18:04,263 --> 01:18:05,799 Come up, blast ya. 1353 01:18:05,806 --> 01:18:07,468 Strike your colors, gentlemen! 1354 01:18:11,937 --> 01:18:14,395 Figg, you scoundrel, let go that halter. 1355 01:18:18,402 --> 01:18:19,643 No, you don't! 1356 01:18:25,409 --> 01:18:27,071 Navy's here! 1357 01:18:34,251 --> 01:18:36,288 Keep 'em there, Number One! 1358 01:19:04,949 --> 01:19:06,406 That's it! 1359 01:19:06,408 --> 01:19:07,774 Now! 1360 01:19:15,125 --> 01:19:16,241 Hurry up, sir! 1361 01:19:16,252 --> 01:19:18,335 They're getting impatient! 1362 01:19:37,398 --> 01:19:39,060 Now! 1363 01:19:39,066 --> 01:19:42,935 - Get with it, daddy-o! - Grab, man, grab! 1364 01:20:58,062 --> 01:21:01,305 Thomas, make a signal, four prisoners awaiting custody. 1365 01:21:01,315 --> 01:21:02,431 Aye, aye, sir. 1366 01:21:09,615 --> 01:21:12,904 - Well done, Captain. - Thank you very much. 1367 01:21:12,910 --> 01:21:14,947 - Well done. - Thank you, thank you. 1368 01:21:14,953 --> 01:21:16,740 Captain. 1369 01:21:16,747 --> 01:21:19,455 I think the time has come to splice the mainbrace. 1370 01:21:19,458 --> 01:21:21,745 An excellent idea. 1371 01:21:21,752 --> 01:21:23,163 Oh look! 1372 01:21:26,173 --> 01:21:27,709 I hope it's not an omen. 1373 01:21:33,263 --> 01:21:35,050 I'm afraid it is. 1374 01:21:35,057 --> 01:21:38,676 Everybody off, as quickly as you can, please. 1375 01:22:31,029 --> 01:22:32,520 Here we are, sir. 1376 01:22:32,531 --> 01:22:34,272 Your boat, Number One. 1377 01:22:34,283 --> 01:22:36,024 Oh no, sir, not without you. 1378 01:22:36,034 --> 01:22:39,368 - I shall stay with my ship. - I'll stay with her too. 1379 01:22:39,371 --> 01:22:42,079 You will take command of the other half of her. 1380 01:22:42,082 --> 01:22:43,914 That is an order. 1381 01:22:43,959 --> 01:22:48,294 Oh, well, goodbye, sir. 1382 01:22:48,297 --> 01:22:50,129 And good luck. 1383 01:22:50,132 --> 01:22:52,465 Goodbye, Number One. 1384 01:23:37,721 --> 01:23:40,714 Ahoy there! 1385 01:23:40,724 --> 01:23:42,886 Ahoy! 1386 01:23:46,230 --> 01:23:49,439 Stand by to receive a line! 1387 01:23:49,441 --> 01:23:54,436 We will take you in tow! 1388 01:23:54,530 --> 01:23:58,740 Nobody claim salvage on my ship! 1389 01:25:54,650 --> 01:25:59,315 And that, I fear, gentlemen, is the end of the rum. 1390 01:25:59,321 --> 01:26:01,813 - Ahh. - Ahh. 100687

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