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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:03:07,007 --> 00:03:09,943 Now I am the richest person in the world. 2 00:03:10,478 --> 00:03:13,844 I am the richest person in the world. 3 00:03:15,349 --> 00:03:19,342 Now I am the richest person in the world. 4 00:03:19,687 --> 00:03:23,748 I am the richest person in the world. I am... 5 00:03:26,394 --> 00:03:29,228 Mi capitán, not another ship in sight. 6 00:03:31,065 --> 00:03:33,167 Yes, King Carlos should be very pleased. 7 00:03:33,267 --> 00:03:36,134 Tell me, who is more important to please... 8 00:03:36,737 --> 00:03:39,763 the King of Spain or God? 9 00:03:40,542 --> 00:03:42,444 Well, God, of course. 10 00:03:42,544 --> 00:03:46,105 And who is God's personal representative in this vicinity? 11 00:03:46,847 --> 00:03:49,611 Well, you are, Your Blessed Rectitude. 12 00:03:49,951 --> 00:03:52,352 Well, God wants to keep all of it. 13 00:03:53,822 --> 00:03:54,811 But... 14 00:03:55,056 --> 00:03:58,994 And anybody who dares "buts" God's personal representative... 15 00:03:59,094 --> 00:04:02,130 will soon find his head pierced and his neck stretched... 16 00:04:02,230 --> 00:04:05,256 and will go on to meet God very quickly! 17 00:04:05,867 --> 00:04:08,438 Which is more than anybody could reasonably hope for... 18 00:04:08,538 --> 00:04:10,505 Your Holy Ruthlessness. 19 00:04:11,607 --> 00:04:15,203 Instead, you may bang your head on the floor until forgiven. 20 00:05:34,759 --> 00:05:37,354 Congratulations, Captain Yellowbeard. 21 00:05:37,862 --> 00:05:42,732 - I'm glad my plan was a success. - Your plan, my gold. 22 00:05:43,101 --> 00:05:46,502 Hands off my treasure, Bosun Moon! 23 00:05:48,174 --> 00:05:49,732 I said hands off! 24 00:05:51,110 --> 00:05:53,634 Do I have to do everything myself? 25 00:06:53,040 --> 00:06:55,076 Come now, don't slow down. 26 00:06:55,176 --> 00:06:57,145 - Step over him. - Move it. 27 00:06:57,245 --> 00:07:00,476 - Step out of the way. - We've got another one here now. 28 00:07:02,217 --> 00:07:03,518 Over here. 29 00:07:03,618 --> 00:07:05,920 Bloody hell, another one. Bloody witches. 30 00:07:06,020 --> 00:07:09,319 Corpses, corpses, all day long. Never stops. 31 00:07:10,291 --> 00:07:14,353 You know, Gilbert, being a prisoner's not what it was when I came in here. 32 00:07:15,230 --> 00:07:16,594 Here we go. 33 00:07:17,565 --> 00:07:20,502 Whimpering poncies. They get a leg broken and they faint. 34 00:07:20,602 --> 00:07:23,505 A few fingernails pulled out, they start crying. 35 00:07:23,605 --> 00:07:25,507 When they stretched me on a rack for a couple of years... 36 00:07:25,607 --> 00:07:28,440 I didn't go around dying all over the place. 37 00:07:31,313 --> 00:07:34,616 Pathetic. Taking the easy way out like that. 38 00:07:34,716 --> 00:07:36,052 How do you mean exactly? 39 00:07:36,152 --> 00:07:39,055 Dying. He'd only been in 15 years. 40 00:07:39,155 --> 00:07:43,352 You won't catch me dying. They'll have to kill me before I die. 41 00:07:43,993 --> 00:07:46,826 Many a man has tried, Captain Yellowbeard. 42 00:07:47,696 --> 00:07:50,132 And soon you will be at large again. 43 00:07:50,232 --> 00:07:52,868 With a hand-picked crew of the hardest buccaneers... 44 00:07:52,968 --> 00:07:55,805 that have ever stained the seven seas with Spanish blood. 45 00:07:55,905 --> 00:07:59,465 It was most unjust I thought, locking you up for... 46 00:07:59,609 --> 00:08:01,578 merely doing your duty. 47 00:08:01,678 --> 00:08:05,215 Twenty years for killing 5,000 dagos and frogs. 48 00:08:05,315 --> 00:08:08,682 Betrayed by me right-hand man, that bastard Moon. 49 00:08:09,118 --> 00:08:11,588 But he never found out where you hid the treasure, did he? 50 00:08:11,688 --> 00:08:13,657 No! Nor will he ever. 51 00:08:15,258 --> 00:08:17,749 Where did you hide the treasure, actually? 52 00:08:18,361 --> 00:08:21,126 You won't catch me with those trick questions. 53 00:08:22,532 --> 00:08:24,967 What really pisses me off, is... 54 00:08:25,535 --> 00:08:28,096 - What is it now? - You've got a visitor. 55 00:08:28,271 --> 00:08:31,173 I expect that'll be the Queen with my pardon. 56 00:08:45,089 --> 00:08:48,617 - Hello, sugar drawers. - What, you again? 57 00:08:48,760 --> 00:08:52,161 Again? I haven't seen you for 15 years. 58 00:08:52,363 --> 00:08:53,991 What is it this time? 59 00:08:54,165 --> 00:08:57,031 Well, what with you being let out next week... 60 00:08:57,335 --> 00:09:02,204 I thought it was my duty as a wife to bring you up to date on a few things. 61 00:09:02,507 --> 00:09:06,312 Now, do you remember just before you were arrested we were having a cuddle? 62 00:09:06,412 --> 00:09:09,904 - I was raping you, if that's what you mean. - All right. 63 00:09:10,348 --> 00:09:14,182 - Sort of half cuddle, half rape. - Get on with it, woman! 64 00:09:15,587 --> 00:09:19,325 Well, I haven't told you this before, because I wanted him to be brought up... 65 00:09:19,425 --> 00:09:21,756 like a gentleman and not a pirate. 66 00:09:22,227 --> 00:09:23,923 Who are you talking about? 67 00:09:24,463 --> 00:09:28,234 - The fruit of your loins, sugar drawers. - Are you mad, woman? 68 00:09:28,334 --> 00:09:31,771 I haven't got fruit in my loins. Lice, yes, and proud of them! 69 00:09:31,871 --> 00:09:35,204 It means that we have spawned a son. 70 00:09:35,308 --> 00:09:36,468 Done what? 71 00:09:36,977 --> 00:09:39,104 You have just become the father... 72 00:09:39,211 --> 00:09:43,113 of a 20-year-old bouncing boy called Dan. 73 00:09:44,351 --> 00:09:47,013 A son. Takes after me, does he? 74 00:09:47,787 --> 00:09:48,777 Well... 75 00:09:48,888 --> 00:09:52,551 By the time I was 20, I'd killed 500 men. 76 00:09:52,726 --> 00:09:56,218 Well, he's not quite so extroverted as you, but he's... 77 00:09:56,363 --> 00:09:58,232 - A thief? - No. 78 00:09:58,332 --> 00:10:00,634 - A rapist? - No. 79 00:10:00,734 --> 00:10:04,204 - Bloody hell. I give up. What is he then? - He's a gardener. 80 00:10:04,304 --> 00:10:09,241 A gardener? A Yellowbeard gardening? I'll see about that when I'm out. 81 00:10:10,077 --> 00:10:13,274 - What is it now? - Time's up, sir. 82 00:10:15,248 --> 00:10:17,945 So your son's a gardener, eh? 83 00:10:26,994 --> 00:10:30,364 - There you are, Mr. Pew. - I said a double. 84 00:10:30,464 --> 00:10:35,061 - Did you? - I know a double when I hears one. When! 85 00:10:40,008 --> 00:10:41,408 Dan's coming. 86 00:10:44,146 --> 00:10:45,908 Reading as usual. 87 00:10:51,954 --> 00:10:54,013 There you are, Dan. 88 00:10:56,625 --> 00:10:59,924 - Got a moment? - I'm reading something. 89 00:11:00,062 --> 00:11:01,494 Read, read. 90 00:11:01,863 --> 00:11:03,923 Read, read, read. 91 00:11:05,100 --> 00:11:08,434 There's more important things in life than reading, Son. 92 00:11:08,904 --> 00:11:11,173 Keep an ear on the bar, would you, Mr. Pew? 93 00:11:11,273 --> 00:11:12,297 Right. 94 00:11:12,574 --> 00:11:14,778 If there's one thing I've learned in life... 95 00:11:14,878 --> 00:11:17,414 it's that learning things never taught me nothing. 96 00:11:17,514 --> 00:11:20,347 - And books is the worst. - All right, Mother. 97 00:11:20,949 --> 00:11:24,750 Last time I read a book, I was raped. 98 00:11:25,587 --> 00:11:29,546 - So let that be a lesson to you. - What do you want? 99 00:11:30,493 --> 00:11:32,393 Well, it's about your father. 100 00:11:34,064 --> 00:11:35,361 What about him? 101 00:11:36,599 --> 00:11:38,624 Well, when I said he was dead... 102 00:11:39,202 --> 00:11:43,036 - I was only trying to cushion the blow. - What blow? 103 00:11:43,606 --> 00:11:44,835 He's alive. 104 00:11:45,675 --> 00:11:49,338 He's alive and imprisoned as a pirate. 105 00:11:50,014 --> 00:11:51,379 A pirate? 106 00:11:53,149 --> 00:11:56,786 - Like Yellowbeard? - Very much like Yellowbeard, yes. 107 00:11:56,886 --> 00:11:59,013 In fact, he is Yellowbeard. 108 00:12:12,803 --> 00:12:14,395 No, thank you, sir. 109 00:12:24,748 --> 00:12:27,081 Commander Clement, Royal Navy. 110 00:12:41,700 --> 00:12:43,759 Welcome, Commander Clement. 111 00:12:44,336 --> 00:12:47,305 Her Majesty's temporary throne room... 112 00:12:47,405 --> 00:12:51,536 - is in the huge withdrawing room. - Thank you, Lady Lambourn. 113 00:12:58,451 --> 00:13:02,012 Lambourn, stop that man pissing on the hedge. 114 00:13:02,388 --> 00:13:04,150 It's imported! 115 00:13:05,625 --> 00:13:08,761 You, come here! You, stop that at once! 116 00:13:08,861 --> 00:13:11,489 That comes special, all the way from Egypt! 117 00:13:27,214 --> 00:13:28,238 Next... 118 00:13:29,415 --> 00:13:32,418 the head of Her Majesty's Secret Service. 119 00:13:32,518 --> 00:13:34,919 Not to be read out loud. 120 00:13:38,759 --> 00:13:40,784 Excuse me. Joking apart. 121 00:13:42,696 --> 00:13:45,460 Royal Navy Commander Clement. 122 00:14:06,120 --> 00:14:09,214 The fat one on the throne is the Queen. 123 00:14:11,593 --> 00:14:14,859 She's not very well today, so I should kneel upwind of her. 124 00:14:16,197 --> 00:14:19,860 And the thin one is Lady Churchill. She's the brains of the outfit. 125 00:14:26,408 --> 00:14:30,946 - State your business. - Your Majesty, we in the Naval Department... 126 00:14:31,046 --> 00:14:35,151 while being keenly aware of recent spirals in Defense expenditure... 127 00:14:35,251 --> 00:14:38,118 - humbly submit... - Are you the Prime Minister? 128 00:14:40,856 --> 00:14:42,324 Secret Service. 129 00:14:44,093 --> 00:14:45,685 Charades! 130 00:14:47,597 --> 00:14:51,464 - You're a beekeeper. - That'll do for her. 131 00:14:52,001 --> 00:14:54,526 - Will it? - What do you want? 132 00:14:55,538 --> 00:14:58,574 The pirate Yellowbeard is due to be released in two days... 133 00:14:58,674 --> 00:15:01,777 and despite years of unpleasantness, he's still told us nothing... 134 00:15:01,877 --> 00:15:03,480 of the treasure he's hidden. 135 00:15:03,580 --> 00:15:06,449 However, I have a detailed plan here. 136 00:15:06,549 --> 00:15:10,485 I doubt if she could manage more than the label on a gin bottle. 137 00:15:10,687 --> 00:15:12,154 Just tell us. 138 00:15:12,890 --> 00:15:16,627 Well, milady, we'd like you to increase his sentence, so he's bound to escape... 139 00:15:16,727 --> 00:15:21,231 and make straight for the treasure. I shall need a fast ship to follow him. 140 00:15:21,331 --> 00:15:25,393 A sensible request, I think, Your Majesty. 141 00:15:29,172 --> 00:15:32,608 The beekeeper would like this signed. 142 00:15:33,144 --> 00:15:34,371 Certainly. 143 00:15:39,550 --> 00:15:42,883 - Come on, move it, you ratbag! - Get in there! 144 00:15:44,522 --> 00:15:48,159 - Mr. Yellowbeard. - Captain to you, you scum. 145 00:15:48,259 --> 00:15:52,424 Quite. Sorry, "Captain" Yellowbeard. 146 00:15:54,332 --> 00:15:58,303 Yes. Twenty years ago today, you were sentenced to jail. 147 00:15:58,403 --> 00:16:00,872 Yes, and now I'm due to be released. 148 00:16:00,972 --> 00:16:03,236 Yes. Or rather no. 149 00:16:03,741 --> 00:16:05,543 You see, 20 years ago... 150 00:16:05,643 --> 00:16:09,478 no one was expected to live in jail for 20 years. 151 00:16:09,681 --> 00:16:13,879 Filthy, horrendous conditions that existed then, and, indeed... 152 00:16:14,386 --> 00:16:16,022 still exist today. 153 00:16:16,122 --> 00:16:19,785 So the judge who sentenced you had no idea you would survive. 154 00:16:20,392 --> 00:16:23,095 Therefore, Her Majesty has graciously agreed... 155 00:16:23,195 --> 00:16:26,926 to increase your sentence a further 140 years. Case dismissed. 156 00:16:27,666 --> 00:16:29,099 I've got him! 157 00:16:30,069 --> 00:16:31,093 Sorry. 158 00:16:37,543 --> 00:16:40,034 - Get off of me! - What are you doing? 159 00:16:40,813 --> 00:16:41,973 Stop him! Stop him! 160 00:16:44,751 --> 00:16:46,844 Get over there where you belong! 161 00:16:49,055 --> 00:16:52,513 - Went well with the Commander then, did it? - No. 162 00:16:53,559 --> 00:16:57,563 So I can take it you won't be leaving us just yet, as it were. 163 00:16:57,663 --> 00:17:00,030 They broke their solemn word. 164 00:17:00,901 --> 00:17:03,131 There's governments for you. 165 00:17:03,570 --> 00:17:06,506 I expect they wanted to know about the treasure. 166 00:17:06,606 --> 00:17:09,508 Yes, and that's something they'll never know. 167 00:17:10,110 --> 00:17:12,840 Well, until you tell them about the treasure... 168 00:17:13,914 --> 00:17:17,318 the only way you're gonna get out of here is feet first. 169 00:17:17,418 --> 00:17:21,411 - Open the gate! - Must be an awful strain... 170 00:17:21,556 --> 00:17:24,684 being the only man in the world knowing where it's hidden. 171 00:17:25,727 --> 00:17:29,254 Why don't you share the burden with a friend? 172 00:17:32,834 --> 00:17:34,028 Gilbert. 173 00:17:35,403 --> 00:17:36,665 Mr. Moon? 174 00:17:38,539 --> 00:17:41,634 - Is that you? - Get a move on, Gilbert. 175 00:17:44,412 --> 00:17:47,279 Coming, Captain. Here I come. 176 00:18:07,269 --> 00:18:09,032 Move, you scum. 177 00:18:17,681 --> 00:18:20,615 - Yellowbeard. - Who was that stink? 178 00:18:30,860 --> 00:18:35,297 I do wish it didn't have to be such a rush every time. 179 00:18:35,397 --> 00:18:36,422 What? 180 00:18:39,002 --> 00:18:41,471 I haven't got time for that now! 181 00:18:41,571 --> 00:18:45,275 Well, it's been 20 years since we had a little cuddle... 182 00:18:45,375 --> 00:18:49,479 and what do you do? Come in here and give me a kiss? 183 00:18:49,579 --> 00:18:53,950 No. You rush in and hack a hole in the wall. 184 00:18:54,050 --> 00:18:57,315 - Where's the map? - What map? 185 00:18:57,655 --> 00:19:01,224 If you say you don't know where it is... 186 00:19:01,324 --> 00:19:04,556 I'll nail your tits to the table! 187 00:19:07,098 --> 00:19:08,530 Oh, dear! 188 00:19:09,033 --> 00:19:10,762 I know where it is. 189 00:19:11,235 --> 00:19:12,702 It's burnt. 190 00:19:12,937 --> 00:19:15,239 You burnt my map? 191 00:19:15,339 --> 00:19:19,510 - But only after I copied it. - Where's the copy? 192 00:19:19,610 --> 00:19:23,444 - When little Dan came along... - Who's Dan? 193 00:19:23,848 --> 00:19:27,079 My and probably your son! 194 00:19:27,853 --> 00:19:30,821 When little Dan was two minutes old... 195 00:19:31,290 --> 00:19:33,450 I tattooed it on his head. 196 00:19:34,226 --> 00:19:37,528 - Does he know about this? - No. Nor nobody else, neither. 197 00:19:37,628 --> 00:19:40,894 That's why I kept him in the cupboard for three years. 198 00:19:41,667 --> 00:19:44,069 That may be why he's a bit odd... 199 00:19:44,169 --> 00:19:47,502 with all these books and reading and stuff like that. 200 00:19:47,673 --> 00:19:50,904 - Where is he now? - Lambourn Hall. 201 00:19:51,276 --> 00:19:54,046 Right. I'll go up there and cut his head off. 202 00:19:54,146 --> 00:19:56,671 Where's my pirating outfit? 203 00:19:59,751 --> 00:20:01,344 Royal Navy here. 204 00:20:06,059 --> 00:20:09,027 Where's Yellowbeard? 205 00:20:09,127 --> 00:20:10,595 Yellowbeard! 206 00:20:12,532 --> 00:20:15,467 Where is Yellowbeard? 207 00:20:16,035 --> 00:20:17,434 He's... 208 00:20:19,038 --> 00:20:20,027 He's... 209 00:20:21,674 --> 00:20:22,834 He's... 210 00:20:24,444 --> 00:20:25,433 He's... 211 00:20:26,246 --> 00:20:27,234 He's... 212 00:20:29,350 --> 00:20:30,873 - gone! - Gone! 213 00:20:33,253 --> 00:20:34,421 Well... 214 00:20:34,521 --> 00:20:37,717 if he's gone, you must have seen him. 215 00:20:38,057 --> 00:20:40,126 No. 216 00:20:40,226 --> 00:20:42,092 Who's the pretty boy? 217 00:20:48,969 --> 00:20:50,197 Shut up! 218 00:20:58,145 --> 00:20:59,578 And what's this? 219 00:21:00,548 --> 00:21:04,418 That's Lord Lambourn's waistcoat. He's such a kind man. 220 00:21:04,518 --> 00:21:08,422 He thinks of everybody. He left those here in case you escaped... 221 00:21:08,522 --> 00:21:12,928 - and needed a change of clothing. - I'm sure I killed the last one I raped. 222 00:21:13,028 --> 00:21:14,689 It can't have been you. 223 00:21:15,163 --> 00:21:18,667 The after-play was a bit on the rough side... 224 00:21:18,767 --> 00:21:20,758 but not fatal, dear. 225 00:21:22,170 --> 00:21:25,340 What's this Dan, or whatever you call him, look like? 226 00:21:25,440 --> 00:21:28,273 He looks a little bit like Lord Lambourn, actually. 227 00:21:28,477 --> 00:21:32,037 But a bit more like you. Much more like you, in fact. 228 00:21:34,082 --> 00:21:38,986 Yellowbeard. A tall, rough man with a big yellow beard. 229 00:21:55,238 --> 00:21:57,069 That's our agent, sir. 230 00:21:59,776 --> 00:22:01,299 Did you see... 231 00:22:03,179 --> 00:22:07,818 - He's blind, you stupid sod! - I may be blind... 232 00:22:07,918 --> 00:22:10,253 but I have acute hearing. 233 00:22:10,353 --> 00:22:13,323 I'm not interested in your jewelry, cloth eyes. I'm trying to conduct... 234 00:22:13,423 --> 00:22:14,856 Yellowbeard... 235 00:22:15,625 --> 00:22:18,195 - was here. - How do you know it was him? 236 00:22:18,295 --> 00:22:20,024 Because he sounded... 237 00:22:20,263 --> 00:22:22,288 about 47... 238 00:22:22,933 --> 00:22:27,771 and his clothing gave off the unmistakable fibrous crackling sound... 239 00:22:27,871 --> 00:22:30,007 - of the 80% hessian... - Which way did he go? 240 00:22:30,107 --> 00:22:33,177 ...whilst the deafening rustling of his beard... 241 00:22:33,277 --> 00:22:37,646 - indicated a length of not... - Which way did he go? 242 00:22:44,988 --> 00:22:47,253 - Upstairs. - Come on! 243 00:22:54,766 --> 00:22:57,602 - Where's Yellowbeard? - He's in prison, isn't he? 244 00:22:57,702 --> 00:23:01,139 Your husband escaped this evening. We know he came straight here. 245 00:23:01,239 --> 00:23:05,343 Come to think of it, somebody did come in here a while back... 246 00:23:05,443 --> 00:23:09,345 - but I don't think it was my husband. - These are his clothes. 247 00:23:09,714 --> 00:23:14,186 Wait a minute. Somebody did pop in and rape me. 248 00:23:14,286 --> 00:23:17,551 - These must be his clothes. - That's Yellowbeard, all right. 249 00:23:18,390 --> 00:23:20,659 Prison has reformed him. 250 00:23:20,759 --> 00:23:23,996 He never bothered to take his clothes off in the old days. 251 00:23:24,096 --> 00:23:27,132 - Where did he go? - I've no idea. 252 00:23:27,232 --> 00:23:30,360 Right, Mansell. Bring those clothes. We'll need a scent. 253 00:23:31,137 --> 00:23:33,332 - For the dogs. - Right. 254 00:23:47,486 --> 00:23:48,784 Yellowbeard? 255 00:23:55,261 --> 00:23:57,764 - Evening, Gilbert. - Now look here, Pew. 256 00:23:57,864 --> 00:24:01,000 - I'm all ears. - Those two gentlemen that just left... 257 00:24:01,100 --> 00:24:03,303 you didn't tell them everything you heard, did you, shipmate? 258 00:24:03,403 --> 00:24:04,637 What gentlemen? 259 00:24:04,737 --> 00:24:06,774 I didn't hear you mention much about a map. 260 00:24:06,874 --> 00:24:09,638 - What map? - Yellowbeard's map. 261 00:24:10,077 --> 00:24:14,648 The one that any pirate worth his parrot would give both his wooden legs for. 262 00:24:14,748 --> 00:24:17,918 You're drunk, Gilbert. Your mind's wandering. 263 00:24:18,018 --> 00:24:20,888 My hands will be wandering towards your throat, Pew... 264 00:24:20,988 --> 00:24:23,390 if you don't tell me what it is you overheard. 265 00:24:23,490 --> 00:24:26,393 So you can pass the information on to Mr. Moon... 266 00:24:26,493 --> 00:24:30,632 so he can find the treasure? Over my dead body. 267 00:24:30,732 --> 00:24:33,131 Very well, if those are your conditions. 268 00:24:33,300 --> 00:24:36,064 I was hoping we might see this eye to eye. 269 00:24:39,374 --> 00:24:41,433 I'm afraid you've forced my hand. 270 00:24:42,177 --> 00:24:44,979 Listen up, my hearties! Listen. 271 00:24:45,079 --> 00:24:48,413 This dear old blind man here... 272 00:24:49,484 --> 00:24:54,055 is a government agent! It is true. I saw him talking to those two. 273 00:24:54,155 --> 00:24:55,315 It is a lie! 274 00:24:58,226 --> 00:25:00,320 I only told him one thing... 275 00:25:01,329 --> 00:25:03,423 about a treasure! 276 00:25:04,366 --> 00:25:06,168 - Treasure? - Bolt that door. 277 00:25:06,268 --> 00:25:08,804 - Bolt that door, lads. - Draw them curtains. 278 00:25:08,904 --> 00:25:11,407 - Draw them curtains! - Put them other lights out. 279 00:25:11,507 --> 00:25:13,771 Put them other lights out, lads! 280 00:25:27,423 --> 00:25:31,189 - Where's Yellowbeard? - Mr. Moon, sir. 281 00:25:31,394 --> 00:25:35,194 I was following him, and then I thought I was being followed... 282 00:25:35,364 --> 00:25:38,135 - if you follow me. - Who'd follow you? 283 00:25:38,235 --> 00:25:40,362 Some stupid blind man. 284 00:25:40,604 --> 00:25:44,473 Well, we've got to follow Yellowbeard, and make sure no one else is following him. 285 00:25:44,573 --> 00:25:45,939 Do you follow me? 286 00:25:47,811 --> 00:25:49,711 What's going on in there? 287 00:26:07,397 --> 00:26:11,562 Evening. Sounded as though there was a bit of a squabble. 288 00:26:12,203 --> 00:26:13,465 Squabble? 289 00:26:13,938 --> 00:26:15,906 - They're all dead. - All? 290 00:26:16,340 --> 00:26:18,639 Must have been more of a tiff then. 291 00:26:20,712 --> 00:26:22,475 Squabble, tiff. 292 00:26:25,616 --> 00:26:27,709 Mr. Moon! 293 00:26:37,830 --> 00:26:41,901 I imagine being in the Navy, you must know quite a lot about the sea and what's in it. 294 00:26:42,001 --> 00:26:44,870 - A trifle. - A trifle? 295 00:26:44,970 --> 00:26:49,099 Yes, I once had a rum trifle, but I only drink when I'm working. 296 00:26:49,441 --> 00:26:51,243 - Indeed. - There you are, Lambourn. 297 00:26:51,343 --> 00:26:54,880 I was wanting your advice on a matter of etiquetty. 298 00:26:54,980 --> 00:26:58,006 Now, does one curtsey before saying adieu... 299 00:26:58,117 --> 00:27:01,754 or does one go down while speaking? 300 00:27:01,854 --> 00:27:04,118 Oh, dear. That's tricky. 301 00:27:06,091 --> 00:27:09,619 Excuse me, Admiral. I must just have a word with this gentleman. 302 00:27:10,295 --> 00:27:13,433 I shan't be a moment. Oh, I say. 303 00:27:13,533 --> 00:27:17,229 Who was that chap who just seized hold of my wife? Do you know him? 304 00:27:17,836 --> 00:27:19,395 Steady. Steady. 305 00:27:21,041 --> 00:27:24,477 He seems to have taken quite a shine to Lady L. 306 00:27:25,378 --> 00:27:26,709 Yes. 307 00:27:27,580 --> 00:27:31,244 Not many people do, you know. But when they do, they do. 308 00:27:33,320 --> 00:27:35,480 And when she does, she does. 309 00:27:40,293 --> 00:27:42,195 - Is your name Dan? - Yes. 310 00:27:42,295 --> 00:27:45,333 - I need your head, my lad. - You're my father. 311 00:27:45,433 --> 00:27:47,468 So your mother says, but that's no reason to believe it. 312 00:27:47,568 --> 00:27:50,471 - Never trust a woman or a government. - Well, pleased to meet you. 313 00:27:50,571 --> 00:27:53,574 I haven't got time for idle chitchat! I need your head. 314 00:27:53,674 --> 00:27:55,042 Well, that makes a change. 315 00:27:55,142 --> 00:27:57,545 Mother seems to disapprove of me using it at all. 316 00:27:57,645 --> 00:27:59,981 You're not gonna use it. You're gonna lose it, lad. 317 00:28:00,081 --> 00:28:02,850 I'm gonna use it. Right. Put your neck over there. 318 00:28:02,950 --> 00:28:06,114 - It'll be cleaner that way. - You want to cut my head off? 319 00:28:06,354 --> 00:28:08,457 - What for? - I don't want to lug your body... 320 00:28:08,557 --> 00:28:12,686 halfway around the world, do I? Your head's got a map on it that I need. 321 00:28:13,728 --> 00:28:16,999 Well, you don't need to kill me for it. Look, why don't you copy it? 322 00:28:17,099 --> 00:28:20,296 What? And have two maps? Bugger off! 323 00:28:21,902 --> 00:28:24,506 Look, if you cut my head off, it'll start to putrefy. 324 00:28:24,606 --> 00:28:27,676 - Do what? - Putrefy! Go rotten! 325 00:28:27,776 --> 00:28:30,879 Yeah, it would ooze a lot. Heads do. But I can live with that. 326 00:28:30,979 --> 00:28:34,116 No, stop! Look! I could help you, Dad. 327 00:28:34,216 --> 00:28:35,184 Everyone will be following you... 328 00:28:35,284 --> 00:28:37,519 - and if they catch you, they'll have the map. - Bugger them! 329 00:28:37,619 --> 00:28:40,490 I'll eat it first. Won't be the first head I've eaten. 330 00:28:40,590 --> 00:28:42,025 But then you'll have lost it forever. 331 00:28:42,125 --> 00:28:44,460 Look. Wouldn't it be better to leave it where it's safe? 332 00:28:44,560 --> 00:28:46,061 What? And take you along? 333 00:28:46,161 --> 00:28:49,029 You're not pirate material! You wouldn't fit in. 334 00:28:50,265 --> 00:28:53,633 Hello, Dan. Been doing some gardening? 335 00:28:54,303 --> 00:28:57,006 - I don't believe we've been introduced. - All right, Dan. 336 00:28:57,106 --> 00:29:00,209 If you're my son, prove it. Kill this stupid old bugger. 337 00:29:00,309 --> 00:29:03,246 - Now hold your horses. - I can't kill him. He brought me up... 338 00:29:03,346 --> 00:29:04,581 just like a father. 339 00:29:04,681 --> 00:29:07,817 You mean he's beaten you and kicked you and smashed you in the teeth? 340 00:29:07,917 --> 00:29:08,885 - Yes. - No! 341 00:29:08,985 --> 00:29:11,588 - No. - He's been kind and gentle. 342 00:29:11,688 --> 00:29:14,858 - What kind of father is that? Kill him! - No! 343 00:29:14,958 --> 00:29:18,062 - All right. I'll do it. - No, don't! 344 00:29:18,162 --> 00:29:19,829 Look, he could be useful. 345 00:29:19,929 --> 00:29:24,026 Yes, I could be useful. I could, I could, I could. What could I do? 346 00:29:26,737 --> 00:29:28,906 - They followed you here. - I'll kill them all! 347 00:29:29,006 --> 00:29:31,075 - No, quick hide in here. - All right. 348 00:29:31,175 --> 00:29:34,634 But I'll kill anyone that gets in the way of me killing anyone. 349 00:29:34,745 --> 00:29:37,714 We'll take him to Dr. Gilpin's. He always knows what to do. 350 00:29:37,814 --> 00:29:40,783 - And then kill everybody! - Whatever you like, Dad. 351 00:29:41,018 --> 00:29:44,889 Dad? Him? You mean to say I'm not your father? 352 00:29:44,989 --> 00:29:48,592 No. Mother says he is, but you're still my father to me. 353 00:29:48,692 --> 00:29:52,664 - I'm still my father to you, Son. - Look, you brought me up. 354 00:29:52,764 --> 00:29:54,899 You're my father. I don't even know him. 355 00:29:54,999 --> 00:29:58,092 - Lambourn! - I'll come with you, Son. 356 00:29:58,636 --> 00:30:02,299 - This Dr. Gilpin, is he your father? - No, he's your closest friend. 357 00:30:02,407 --> 00:30:04,341 I look forward to meeting him. 358 00:30:04,576 --> 00:30:07,943 Twenty-three, twenty-four, twenty-five... 359 00:30:17,489 --> 00:30:18,648 Lady Lambourn. 360 00:30:20,525 --> 00:30:23,757 - Well, he's not even married to her. - I think he's blind. 361 00:30:25,531 --> 00:30:27,328 Under her command, so to speak. 362 00:30:29,802 --> 00:30:32,362 Now, see here, if you go with him, you'll be criminals. 363 00:30:33,038 --> 00:30:35,529 You'll never be able to return to England. 364 00:30:36,275 --> 00:30:39,802 But if the government gets the treasure... 365 00:30:40,313 --> 00:30:44,409 they'll only waste it. Warmongering in Europe. 366 00:30:48,121 --> 00:30:49,418 There we are. 367 00:30:51,090 --> 00:30:54,788 - That looks nothing like me! - Well, that's the whole idea. 368 00:30:56,529 --> 00:31:00,667 I've got to go with him, my father, to get the treasure. 369 00:31:00,767 --> 00:31:03,870 - I've got the map of the island. - Could be very dangerous. 370 00:31:03,970 --> 00:31:05,573 It'll be dangerous. Do the boy good... 371 00:31:05,673 --> 00:31:08,470 to get a bit of senseless violence into his life. 372 00:31:08,575 --> 00:31:10,544 Will you come with us, too, Doctor? 373 00:31:10,644 --> 00:31:13,948 Why, think of all the new plants and medicines you could discover. 374 00:31:14,048 --> 00:31:15,447 Yeah. What's this? 375 00:31:16,316 --> 00:31:20,047 Stop! That's a precious extract from a rare tropical tree. 376 00:31:20,254 --> 00:31:22,848 One drop of it paralyzes a man instantly. 377 00:31:28,729 --> 00:31:30,720 Perhaps it wears off instantly. 378 00:31:31,599 --> 00:31:32,930 No. No. 379 00:31:33,768 --> 00:31:36,829 Possibly ineffective when taken through the mouth. 380 00:31:37,973 --> 00:31:40,208 Well, of course, if we really were... 381 00:31:40,308 --> 00:31:43,278 going on a botanical expedition... 382 00:31:43,678 --> 00:31:44,745 - They're here. - Kill! 383 00:31:44,845 --> 00:31:47,082 - There's no need to. - We must find a name for you. 384 00:31:47,182 --> 00:31:50,018 - Professor... - Professor Flask. 385 00:31:50,118 --> 00:31:51,753 - Professor Death! - Professor Chair. 386 00:31:51,853 --> 00:31:53,455 - Professor Rape! - Professor Clock. 387 00:31:53,555 --> 00:31:55,524 What about Professor Anthrax? 388 00:31:55,624 --> 00:31:57,751 - Yes. - Anthrax. 389 00:31:58,994 --> 00:32:01,485 Bugger off, you evil git! 390 00:32:01,797 --> 00:32:06,063 Evening, Doctor. I was just saying good day to Mr. Pew. 391 00:32:06,636 --> 00:32:09,968 Lord Lambourn. And Dan. 392 00:32:10,640 --> 00:32:14,599 - And? - Yeah, this is Professor Anthrax. 393 00:32:14,911 --> 00:32:19,006 - That's Yellowbeard. - I'm in disguise, you stupid tart! 394 00:32:21,450 --> 00:32:24,180 - You've met your father then. - Yes. 395 00:32:24,320 --> 00:32:26,220 We've got some exciting news. 396 00:32:26,689 --> 00:32:30,021 - You're all going after the treasure! - Treasure? No. 397 00:32:30,326 --> 00:32:32,295 - No. - Botanical... 398 00:32:32,395 --> 00:32:33,954 Killing plants! 399 00:32:34,864 --> 00:32:36,399 - Chasing butterflies. - No. 400 00:32:36,499 --> 00:32:38,729 Well, I'm entitled to my share. 401 00:32:39,068 --> 00:32:43,072 What with all the lying and cheating and tattooing that I've done over the years. 402 00:32:43,172 --> 00:32:47,633 - Don't worry, Mother. You'll get your share. - I don't ask for much. 403 00:32:48,712 --> 00:32:52,512 I'd just like to see a few of my little dreams come true. 404 00:32:53,750 --> 00:32:58,021 I've always wanted to buy Denmark and be richer than the Queen. 405 00:32:58,121 --> 00:33:01,325 Yes, and if you do your job covering up for us, Mother... 406 00:33:01,425 --> 00:33:03,791 - that will all come true. - And by the way... 407 00:33:04,395 --> 00:33:07,262 why did you tell me that I was his father? 408 00:33:07,765 --> 00:33:09,096 I didn't. 409 00:33:09,501 --> 00:33:13,027 You were so sure he was, I didn't have the heart to tell you. 410 00:33:13,238 --> 00:33:14,973 I think... 411 00:33:15,073 --> 00:33:17,541 we'd better sail for Jamaica at once. 412 00:33:17,641 --> 00:33:19,404 We'll find a ship... 413 00:33:20,345 --> 00:33:21,868 at Portsmouth. 414 00:33:34,592 --> 00:33:37,662 I was only taking what's my due to cover expenses. 415 00:33:37,762 --> 00:33:40,230 You should see the mess they made. 416 00:33:40,365 --> 00:33:42,629 - What happened? - Plague. 417 00:33:43,601 --> 00:33:45,004 Plague? 418 00:33:45,104 --> 00:33:47,505 All sudden like. 419 00:33:47,605 --> 00:33:49,369 Lucky I was out. 420 00:33:50,009 --> 00:33:53,376 - That man's got a sword in him. - He fell on it. 421 00:33:54,612 --> 00:33:58,104 - Has Yellowbeard been here? - He's dead, too. 422 00:33:58,451 --> 00:34:01,579 And Lord Lambourn and Dr. Gilpin. 423 00:34:02,421 --> 00:34:03,789 And my son. 424 00:34:03,889 --> 00:34:06,153 My son, Dan! 425 00:34:06,592 --> 00:34:09,527 All gone, all dead. 426 00:34:10,062 --> 00:34:13,065 - Oh, my! - Oh, hell. 427 00:34:13,165 --> 00:34:15,267 If they're all dead, what are you gonna tell the Queen, sir? 428 00:34:15,367 --> 00:34:18,393 I mean, we're supposed to follow them to the treasure. 429 00:34:25,377 --> 00:34:29,644 - Halt! In the name of the law! - All right! I'm not deaf! 430 00:34:33,487 --> 00:34:35,887 All right, Pew, what have you heard? 431 00:34:43,263 --> 00:34:46,033 Little did Yellowbeard surmise... 432 00:34:46,133 --> 00:34:50,270 as he presented himself to his prospective traveling companions... 433 00:34:50,370 --> 00:34:54,075 that the details of the engagements were being overheard... 434 00:34:54,175 --> 00:34:56,911 by a tall blind man of impressive bearing... 435 00:34:57,011 --> 00:34:59,013 - aquiline features... - Cut the purple prose, Pew. 436 00:34:59,113 --> 00:35:02,446 Just give us the facts. Where's Yellowbeard gone? 437 00:35:07,355 --> 00:35:09,424 - Portsmouth. - With whom? 438 00:35:09,524 --> 00:35:11,185 Three people. 439 00:35:13,027 --> 00:35:14,426 Lambourn. 440 00:35:16,230 --> 00:35:17,424 Dan. 441 00:35:19,535 --> 00:35:21,161 Dr. Gilpin. 442 00:35:21,936 --> 00:35:24,735 Right, Mansell. We shall be needing that frigate. 443 00:35:28,744 --> 00:35:31,577 Come on, Mansell. We'll be needing Mrs. Beard. 444 00:35:31,879 --> 00:35:35,782 I think a month or two at sea will loosen Mrs. Beard's tongue. 445 00:35:36,285 --> 00:35:38,082 Is she going away, too, sir? 446 00:36:02,979 --> 00:36:04,276 That'll do him. 447 00:36:13,957 --> 00:36:16,653 How's that for a squabble, Pew? 448 00:36:25,635 --> 00:36:27,365 Here! Stop! Thief! 449 00:36:31,741 --> 00:36:33,334 Fresh flowers! 450 00:36:34,244 --> 00:36:35,973 Get your lucky heather! 451 00:36:37,247 --> 00:36:39,215 Yoo-hoo, fresh flowers, sir? 452 00:36:41,919 --> 00:36:42,908 Yes. 453 00:36:46,624 --> 00:36:49,616 Fresh heather! Fresh flowers! 454 00:36:58,103 --> 00:37:01,772 I've always been fascinated by the sea. It's so big. 455 00:37:01,872 --> 00:37:03,703 It has the little... 456 00:37:27,532 --> 00:37:30,195 It's the mouth of the river port, isn't it? 457 00:37:44,551 --> 00:37:46,212 Oh, my God! 458 00:37:49,622 --> 00:37:50,612 Come on. 459 00:37:56,095 --> 00:37:58,998 Harden your knives here. Sharpen your knives. 460 00:37:59,098 --> 00:38:01,434 Can I have three farthings for a lump of shit, please? 461 00:38:01,534 --> 00:38:02,502 I beg your pardon? 462 00:38:02,602 --> 00:38:05,072 I said can I have three farthings for a lump of shit? 463 00:38:05,172 --> 00:38:06,399 No. 464 00:38:08,542 --> 00:38:10,169 Society's to blame. 465 00:38:12,779 --> 00:38:15,874 Harden your knives here. Sharpen your knives. 466 00:38:17,017 --> 00:38:18,712 Excuse me a moment. 467 00:38:19,487 --> 00:38:23,082 Look out! Press gang! Get out! Press gang. 468 00:38:24,492 --> 00:38:26,823 - Get him. Come on. - Catch him over there. 469 00:38:27,161 --> 00:38:28,491 Come on, get him! 470 00:38:30,931 --> 00:38:32,866 - That's the stuff. - Press gang? 471 00:38:33,033 --> 00:38:36,800 Yes, they persuade drunks and vagrants to become sailors. 472 00:38:37,338 --> 00:38:40,642 - What happens when they sober up? - They're at sea. 473 00:38:40,742 --> 00:38:43,768 Okay, get that one in there! Shove him in good, please. 474 00:38:44,345 --> 00:38:47,678 All right, good. He was a bit thin. Those ones over there, they look good. 475 00:38:51,420 --> 00:38:52,546 I say. 476 00:38:53,921 --> 00:38:56,550 I'll give you three farthings, young lady. 477 00:38:57,859 --> 00:39:00,385 There we are. Oopsy daisy. 478 00:39:01,963 --> 00:39:04,989 A good big one will always beat a rotten little one. 479 00:39:10,172 --> 00:39:13,869 What's going on, hey? What do you think you're doing? 480 00:39:17,012 --> 00:39:19,242 Just borrowing your jacket, Bosun. 481 00:39:30,626 --> 00:39:35,465 I say, sir. I just saw two naval gentlemen going the other way. 482 00:39:35,565 --> 00:39:39,436 Where's Yellowbeard? Professor Anthrax. 483 00:39:39,536 --> 00:39:43,006 He can't be far. He'll find us. He needs that map. 484 00:39:43,106 --> 00:39:45,734 Well, I hope he finds us before they find him. 485 00:39:45,842 --> 00:39:47,935 And it's not long before we sail. 486 00:39:48,545 --> 00:39:52,148 Now, we know it's an island close to Jamaica, and we've got the map of it. 487 00:39:52,248 --> 00:39:56,515 But without him to tell us which island, we might as well go home. 488 00:39:59,056 --> 00:40:03,516 Now, I'm sure some of you gentlemen would like to volunteer... 489 00:40:03,694 --> 00:40:08,256 for a well-paid, well-fed adventure holiday... 490 00:40:08,999 --> 00:40:10,901 such as youths dream of... 491 00:40:11,001 --> 00:40:14,027 upon a modern, rat-free, leak-proof ship! 492 00:40:14,939 --> 00:40:18,875 Any volunteers just lie down on the ground with your eyes shut. 493 00:40:21,378 --> 00:40:23,515 Would you gentlemen be looking for a ship? 494 00:40:23,615 --> 00:40:24,815 - We... - Well, as a matter of fact... 495 00:40:24,915 --> 00:40:28,043 we're lucky enough already to have tickets for the... 496 00:40:41,032 --> 00:40:42,192 Load them on. 497 00:40:44,569 --> 00:40:46,161 Take them to the ship. 498 00:40:54,379 --> 00:40:57,617 - Come on, kick him out! Come on! - Oh, my God! 499 00:40:57,717 --> 00:40:59,809 He's thrown her in the water tub! 500 00:41:07,927 --> 00:41:10,657 - Take your hands off of me! - Shut up and move! 501 00:41:13,466 --> 00:41:15,957 I want these three shackled in the bilges. 502 00:41:16,802 --> 00:41:18,100 Move over! 503 00:41:19,705 --> 00:41:20,873 Come on, old man. 504 00:41:20,973 --> 00:41:24,465 There's no need. We can make our own way there. 505 00:41:26,914 --> 00:41:29,610 Sign here. I'll make your mark. 506 00:41:33,252 --> 00:41:36,154 - There's your shilling. - Thank you, sir! 507 00:41:38,357 --> 00:41:41,054 Don't do that. Don't do that ever again. 508 00:41:45,599 --> 00:41:49,403 - Get off, lad. - All right. Come on, move it. 509 00:41:49,503 --> 00:41:52,336 I never noticed that hook when he signed on. 510 00:41:52,506 --> 00:41:53,940 Nor did I, sir. 511 00:41:55,108 --> 00:41:59,204 - He's right-handed, sir. - Get rid of the others. 512 00:42:08,288 --> 00:42:09,483 Quiet! 513 00:42:18,600 --> 00:42:20,931 - Mr. Crisp. - Aye, sir! 514 00:42:21,836 --> 00:42:23,201 What is that? 515 00:42:23,738 --> 00:42:27,903 - That's my box, sir. - No, carrying your box. 516 00:42:28,978 --> 00:42:30,774 Cabin boy Smith, sir. 517 00:42:32,181 --> 00:42:35,750 - Smith has tits. - He's been a bit ill, sir. 518 00:42:35,850 --> 00:42:37,317 Get her off! 519 00:42:38,354 --> 00:42:39,343 Aye, sir. 520 00:42:42,591 --> 00:42:44,081 Wait a minute. 521 00:42:44,927 --> 00:42:46,292 What is that? 522 00:42:47,062 --> 00:42:50,362 It's a crocodile, sir. 523 00:42:51,000 --> 00:42:52,368 What's it for? 524 00:42:52,468 --> 00:42:55,304 Well, each sailor is... 525 00:42:55,404 --> 00:42:58,670 allowed, by tradition, a pet, sir. 526 00:42:58,841 --> 00:43:02,278 One pet per sailor, parrots preferred. 527 00:43:03,380 --> 00:43:07,817 Well, we like clubbed together, as it were, if you take my drift, sir. 528 00:43:07,917 --> 00:43:11,876 - That's bigger than three parrots. - Not if they're in cages, sir. 529 00:43:12,087 --> 00:43:13,419 Open it up. 530 00:43:15,525 --> 00:43:16,693 Open it up? 531 00:43:16,793 --> 00:43:19,694 Open it up! There are buttons down the side. 532 00:43:25,902 --> 00:43:29,806 The ancient superstition that a woman onboard brings bad luck... 533 00:43:29,906 --> 00:43:32,671 is now a proven scientific fact. 534 00:43:34,845 --> 00:43:36,506 Nice try, Rosie. 535 00:43:43,220 --> 00:43:46,747 Shouldn't bother, love. They're fairly strict on this one. 536 00:44:28,334 --> 00:44:30,130 Rattus vulgaris. 537 00:44:31,570 --> 00:44:33,706 - Yeah. - You know, I've been thinking. 538 00:44:33,806 --> 00:44:36,976 If we paid 300 guineas each for this cabin... 539 00:44:37,076 --> 00:44:39,567 I'm glad we didn't go for the cheaper ones. 540 00:44:40,279 --> 00:44:44,113 I'm sorry to interrupt your morning bath, gentlemen. 541 00:44:44,684 --> 00:44:46,743 On your knees! 542 00:44:46,985 --> 00:44:50,683 And crawl up here on the double! Up here on the double! 543 00:44:53,192 --> 00:44:57,788 - All hands present, Mr. Crisp, sir! - Thank you, Bosun! 544 00:44:58,832 --> 00:45:02,962 Deliver me, O Lord, from the evil man, preserve me from the violent man... 545 00:45:19,653 --> 00:45:21,814 My name is Captain Hughes. 546 00:45:22,789 --> 00:45:27,351 These are my officers, Lieutenant Martin, who is responsible for discipline... 547 00:45:28,095 --> 00:45:31,394 Lieutenant Crisp, who is responsible for discipline... 548 00:45:32,633 --> 00:45:35,659 Mr. Prostitute, who is responsible for... 549 00:45:37,638 --> 00:45:39,874 Nail that man's foot to the deck. 550 00:45:39,974 --> 00:45:41,309 - Aye, sir. - Discipline. 551 00:45:41,409 --> 00:45:45,246 No, I... It's all right. No. I was just joking. 552 00:45:45,346 --> 00:45:48,179 I was just having a... Here, hang on. Hey, wait a minute. 553 00:45:53,956 --> 00:45:57,220 Now, in fairness to all of you... 554 00:45:58,126 --> 00:46:00,822 I'm honor bound to ask this question. 555 00:46:02,164 --> 00:46:06,760 Is there anyone here who does not wish to be a member of Her Majesty's Navy? 556 00:46:08,971 --> 00:46:10,302 Me, sir. 557 00:46:17,079 --> 00:46:20,344 Is there anyone else who is reluctant to serve? 558 00:46:24,453 --> 00:46:25,442 Right. 559 00:46:26,322 --> 00:46:30,092 If, by chance, some of you may feel that the discipline on this ship... 560 00:46:30,192 --> 00:46:34,220 is a trifle on the harsh side of strict... 561 00:46:34,831 --> 00:46:38,902 let me remind you that it is our duty to seek out and destroy... 562 00:46:39,002 --> 00:46:40,570 Her Majesty's enemies... 563 00:46:40,670 --> 00:46:42,005 the foul... 564 00:46:42,105 --> 00:46:45,302 and most foreign French. 565 00:46:46,009 --> 00:46:47,210 - Here, here. - Now... 566 00:46:47,310 --> 00:46:51,047 while the rest of the world will eventually arrive at the same conclusion... 567 00:46:51,147 --> 00:46:53,741 it is our urgent task... 568 00:46:54,718 --> 00:46:57,654 to push things on a little. 569 00:46:58,189 --> 00:46:59,315 Amen. 570 00:47:03,426 --> 00:47:04,484 Next. 571 00:47:06,429 --> 00:47:09,557 Mr. Martin, Mr. Prostitute... 572 00:47:10,234 --> 00:47:11,667 luncheon duty. 573 00:47:24,515 --> 00:47:27,144 Right, Mr. Beamish, I'll see the prisoner now. 574 00:47:27,318 --> 00:47:28,452 Aye, aye, sir. 575 00:47:28,552 --> 00:47:30,213 Man the capstan. 576 00:47:37,696 --> 00:47:40,722 - Ready to talk yet, Mrs. Beard? - No! 577 00:47:41,198 --> 00:47:43,635 - Take her away, Mr. Beamish. - Aye, aye, sir. 578 00:47:43,735 --> 00:47:44,724 Down. 579 00:47:57,015 --> 00:47:59,985 Give them a taste of the lash before they've done anything. 580 00:48:00,085 --> 00:48:03,647 - Preventive punishment, that's the principle. - Yes, sir. 581 00:48:05,458 --> 00:48:07,894 That man yawned. Give him a swimming lesson. 582 00:48:07,994 --> 00:48:10,096 What, what? Hey! No. Come on, wait a minute! 583 00:48:10,196 --> 00:48:11,787 Wait a minute. No. Hey! 584 00:48:13,598 --> 00:48:14,588 Thanks. 585 00:48:15,568 --> 00:48:17,763 - Well done, sir. - Hold the line. 586 00:48:24,077 --> 00:48:25,374 Lovely day. 587 00:49:11,659 --> 00:49:13,460 No! No! 588 00:49:13,560 --> 00:49:14,496 No! 589 00:49:14,596 --> 00:49:15,790 Oh, no! 590 00:49:18,066 --> 00:49:19,634 Oh, no! 591 00:49:19,734 --> 00:49:22,032 Oh, what have we here? A laggard? 592 00:49:26,508 --> 00:49:30,070 Oh, it's so hard on a manicure, isn't it? 593 00:49:31,513 --> 00:49:33,215 Not to worry, lad. 594 00:49:33,315 --> 00:49:35,305 You'll get the hang of it. 595 00:49:43,793 --> 00:49:45,852 And third, Your Majesty... 596 00:49:47,028 --> 00:49:49,020 I'm very pleased to report... 597 00:49:49,698 --> 00:49:51,928 that after several very brave... 598 00:49:52,368 --> 00:49:55,132 and very expensive battles... 599 00:49:55,905 --> 00:49:57,964 the pirate Yellowbeard... 600 00:49:58,774 --> 00:50:01,265 is now well and truly... 601 00:50:01,544 --> 00:50:03,445 in our grasp. 602 00:50:08,050 --> 00:50:11,509 Sir, is that, strictly speaking, accurate, sir? 603 00:50:11,887 --> 00:50:15,914 Mansell, that's what we in the Royal Navy call a lie. 604 00:50:16,592 --> 00:50:18,862 A lie, sir? But that's treason, isn't it? 605 00:50:18,962 --> 00:50:20,429 - Be quiet. - Yes, sir. 606 00:50:20,529 --> 00:50:23,590 - Now get that off to Her Majesty right away. - Yes, sir. 607 00:50:27,504 --> 00:50:28,801 How, sir? 608 00:50:29,406 --> 00:50:31,204 By pigeon, Mansell. 609 00:50:32,476 --> 00:50:33,477 Pigeon, sir? 610 00:50:33,577 --> 00:50:37,069 Surely you didn't forget to bring the pigeon, Mansell? 611 00:50:50,661 --> 00:50:51,719 Come in. 612 00:50:56,601 --> 00:50:59,571 - I think she might be ready to talk now, sir. - Right. 613 00:51:01,272 --> 00:51:05,209 I seem to remember something about an island. 614 00:51:06,444 --> 00:51:11,144 It must have been that shark what jogged my memory. 615 00:51:12,016 --> 00:51:13,483 Jolly good, Ensign. 616 00:51:14,786 --> 00:51:16,845 - Thank you, sir. - Well done. 617 00:51:17,922 --> 00:51:20,289 Shall I meet you in the pump room, sir? 618 00:51:22,928 --> 00:51:24,452 Sit down, Mrs. Beard. 619 00:51:24,630 --> 00:51:26,427 Now, about this island. 620 00:51:27,566 --> 00:51:29,330 A little pigeon, perhaps? 621 00:51:30,102 --> 00:51:32,593 I've just ate some tuna, thank you. 622 00:51:38,944 --> 00:51:41,175 Where did I put that treasure? 623 00:51:41,447 --> 00:51:44,007 No, it's stagger. No, no, no. 624 00:51:45,017 --> 00:51:47,680 Get shot, then fall... 625 00:51:47,853 --> 00:51:49,556 then crawl, crawl... 626 00:51:49,656 --> 00:51:51,624 then stagger, stagger. 627 00:51:56,529 --> 00:51:59,032 Do you know that you have three paying passengers onboard... 628 00:51:59,132 --> 00:52:01,801 who are being treated as abominably as the rest of the crew? 629 00:52:01,901 --> 00:52:02,890 Really? 630 00:52:03,770 --> 00:52:07,797 I think once the Captain realizes who we are, we'll get an easier passage. 631 00:52:09,543 --> 00:52:11,033 Perfect. Let's go. 632 00:52:11,478 --> 00:52:14,448 Well, I can see there's only one thing you'll understand. 633 00:52:14,548 --> 00:52:16,948 And what, pray, might that be? 634 00:52:19,352 --> 00:52:21,753 Right! Let's finish it! 635 00:52:34,635 --> 00:52:38,264 - I'm so sorry, sir. - What for? 636 00:52:39,607 --> 00:52:41,199 Interrupting you, sir. 637 00:52:41,943 --> 00:52:43,968 I was only smoking a cigar. 638 00:52:44,712 --> 00:52:45,906 Yes, sir. 639 00:52:46,381 --> 00:52:50,685 I came to tell you that the son of Yellowbeard the pirate is onboard this ship. 640 00:52:50,785 --> 00:52:53,253 The son of Yellowbeard the pirate? 641 00:52:56,591 --> 00:52:57,717 Who's that? 642 00:52:59,527 --> 00:53:01,519 That was Mr. Crisp, sir. 643 00:53:02,330 --> 00:53:03,524 Mr. Crisp? 644 00:53:09,170 --> 00:53:12,867 Officers and men of The Lady Edith... 645 00:53:13,242 --> 00:53:17,736 these three people posing as pressees, are, in fact... 646 00:53:17,913 --> 00:53:19,642 foul stowaways. 647 00:53:20,049 --> 00:53:21,584 Stowaways? No! 648 00:53:21,684 --> 00:53:23,252 The perspicacity of Mr. Moon... 649 00:53:23,352 --> 00:53:28,016 has led to the discovery of a conspiracy against the Crown. 650 00:53:28,290 --> 00:53:31,160 There's no doubt in my mind that the one in the middle... 651 00:53:31,260 --> 00:53:34,697 is the son of the evil Yellowbeard. 652 00:53:34,797 --> 00:53:37,595 - Yellowbeard! - He has already dispatched... 653 00:53:37,933 --> 00:53:40,801 dear Mr. Crisp to the deep... 654 00:53:41,370 --> 00:53:44,272 clearly with the purpose of taking over this vessel. 655 00:53:45,408 --> 00:53:49,970 We shall deliver these traitors to the proper authorities. 656 00:53:50,880 --> 00:53:52,905 Set course for Portsmouth. 657 00:53:53,684 --> 00:53:55,845 You know what to do, Mr. Moon. 658 00:54:14,438 --> 00:54:15,632 Mutiny. 659 00:54:32,990 --> 00:54:36,289 Oh, dear, the Captain would appear to be out of sorts! 660 00:54:42,433 --> 00:54:46,369 We're gonna have to choose a new captain. Who shall it be? 661 00:54:46,804 --> 00:54:47,862 Me! 662 00:54:49,173 --> 00:54:52,507 - No. We want Dan! - Dan? 663 00:54:53,512 --> 00:54:54,809 Or the prostitute. 664 00:54:59,384 --> 00:55:01,086 Dan. 665 00:55:01,186 --> 00:55:02,855 Who? Who? Come on! 666 00:55:02,955 --> 00:55:05,389 - Dan! Dan! - Dan! 667 00:55:05,624 --> 00:55:07,023 - We want Dan! - Dan! 668 00:55:12,364 --> 00:55:13,956 It's unanimous, then. 669 00:55:14,733 --> 00:55:16,702 The ship's yours, Captain... 670 00:55:17,003 --> 00:55:19,096 to take where you will. 671 00:55:26,246 --> 00:55:27,770 That's it, that's it. 672 00:55:30,683 --> 00:55:34,120 I hope you don't mind us tying up the Captain like that, sir. 673 00:55:34,220 --> 00:55:35,655 No, not at all. 674 00:55:35,755 --> 00:55:38,155 Well, I was only following your lead. 675 00:55:38,424 --> 00:55:42,657 I mean, well, your killing Mr. Crisp was an example to us all. 676 00:55:43,164 --> 00:55:46,894 But I only hit him with a bucket, and then everything went blank. 677 00:55:47,400 --> 00:55:48,458 Oh, yeah. 678 00:55:48,636 --> 00:55:50,603 It's like that, killing. 679 00:55:53,007 --> 00:55:54,974 No hard feelings, Captain Hughes. 680 00:55:55,074 --> 00:55:57,610 Your consideration will be noted. 681 00:55:57,710 --> 00:56:01,078 Now, Bosun, set course for Madagascar. 682 00:56:05,152 --> 00:56:06,141 Yes. 683 00:56:07,121 --> 00:56:08,315 Right! 684 00:56:09,223 --> 00:56:11,488 You heard what the Captain said. 685 00:56:12,326 --> 00:56:15,193 - It's Madagascar. - Aye, aye, sir. 686 00:56:20,969 --> 00:56:23,038 Set a course for Portsmouth, Mr. Martin. 687 00:56:23,138 --> 00:56:24,239 Aye, aye, sir! 688 00:56:24,339 --> 00:56:26,640 East by northeast, Mr. Prostitute. 689 00:56:26,740 --> 00:56:28,208 Aye, aye, sir. 690 00:56:48,463 --> 00:56:52,661 All's well! 691 00:57:32,309 --> 00:57:36,473 - Ah... - S'well! 692 00:58:00,270 --> 00:58:03,331 We went 10 degrees west off course overnight. 693 00:58:03,808 --> 00:58:05,542 Did you notice that, Mr. Moon? 694 00:58:05,642 --> 00:58:07,270 Indeed I did, sir. 695 00:58:07,845 --> 00:58:11,416 Our captain didn't bump the helmsman off last night, did he? 696 00:58:11,516 --> 00:58:14,713 No. Didn't leave his cabin, Mr. Moon. 697 00:58:15,587 --> 00:58:18,111 - Did you order a change of course? - No. 698 00:58:21,993 --> 00:58:24,986 I think someone knows where the island is. 699 00:58:26,831 --> 00:58:29,493 See? They're leading us right to it. 700 00:58:36,041 --> 00:58:38,839 Come on, Mrs. Beard. We've been at this all day. 701 00:58:40,079 --> 00:58:42,343 No. No. 702 00:58:43,215 --> 00:58:45,479 That still doesn't look right. 703 00:58:45,952 --> 00:58:49,547 I don't think you're being as helpful as you promised, Mrs. Beard. 704 00:58:49,655 --> 00:58:51,486 I'm doing my best. 705 00:58:52,458 --> 00:58:55,087 Perhaps a little more shark treatment? 706 00:58:59,231 --> 00:59:02,463 Nothing in sight, sir. Absolutely nothing at all. 707 00:59:02,635 --> 00:59:03,863 Nothing, sir! 708 00:59:04,204 --> 00:59:06,570 Talk about clear horizons, this is it. 709 00:59:07,073 --> 00:59:10,144 We've been at sea for weeks without sighting anything, let alone The Edith. 710 00:59:10,244 --> 00:59:11,905 Ship ahoy! 711 00:59:15,816 --> 00:59:17,976 Look lively, lads. Look lively. 712 00:59:23,090 --> 00:59:25,353 There you are, sir. Nothing again. 713 00:59:25,792 --> 00:59:27,385 Nothing whatsoever. 714 00:59:32,266 --> 00:59:33,734 Behind you, Mansell. 715 00:59:33,834 --> 00:59:35,324 I know you are, sir. 716 00:59:35,569 --> 00:59:37,400 There's a ship behind you. 717 00:59:39,640 --> 00:59:41,836 Good lord, sir! It's The Edith! 718 00:59:42,410 --> 00:59:43,400 Sir? 719 00:59:49,784 --> 00:59:51,911 Of course it's The Edith, Mansell. 720 00:59:52,520 --> 00:59:53,681 But, sir... 721 00:59:54,989 --> 00:59:57,992 it is behind us, and we're supposed to be following it, sir. 722 00:59:58,092 --> 01:00:00,027 Well, how can we be, sir? 723 01:00:05,500 --> 01:00:08,003 - Strike the colors, Mr. Beamish. - Strike the colors, Mr. Beamish. 724 01:00:08,103 --> 01:00:09,938 - Hoist the French flag. - Hoist the French flag. 725 01:00:10,038 --> 01:00:11,903 - Hard about. - Hard about. 726 01:00:12,307 --> 01:00:13,909 They mustn't know we're after them, Mansell. 727 01:00:14,009 --> 01:00:16,044 If we can convince them we're French, they'll avoid us. 728 01:00:16,144 --> 01:00:19,272 Perhaps then we can return to following them discreetly. 729 01:00:21,183 --> 01:00:22,585 What sort of ship is it? 730 01:00:22,685 --> 01:00:24,311 Some kind of frigate. 731 01:00:25,788 --> 01:00:29,053 We wouldn't have come across it, if we had kept our course. 732 01:00:29,658 --> 01:00:31,251 No, no. We wouldn't. 733 01:00:34,630 --> 01:00:38,031 There's a flag. They're French, and they're rounding on us! 734 01:00:38,134 --> 01:00:39,670 Stand by to fire. 735 01:00:39,770 --> 01:00:41,066 Oh, dear. 736 01:00:41,571 --> 01:00:43,232 Stand by to hide. 737 01:00:46,342 --> 01:00:49,880 All right, Mansell, so we'll just sail quietly past, all right? 738 01:00:49,980 --> 01:00:50,947 Aye, aye, sir. 739 01:00:51,047 --> 01:00:53,516 Ready? Fire! 740 01:01:01,958 --> 01:01:04,561 - Are you all right, Mansell? - Yes, thank you, sir. 741 01:01:04,661 --> 01:01:05,829 Shit. 742 01:01:05,929 --> 01:01:07,597 What do the fools think they're doing? 743 01:01:07,697 --> 01:01:10,834 We outgun them. We outman them. We're much faster than they are. 744 01:01:10,934 --> 01:01:13,737 I think it might have something to do with the French flag we're flying, sir. 745 01:01:13,837 --> 01:01:17,709 All right, then to avoid suspicion, we better appear to retaliate. 746 01:01:17,809 --> 01:01:19,901 We'll fire a bit and miss a lot. 747 01:01:20,144 --> 01:01:21,134 Fire! 748 01:01:27,919 --> 01:01:29,750 Lower the guns! 749 01:01:31,522 --> 01:01:33,081 Fire! 750 01:01:35,560 --> 01:01:37,084 Raise the guns! 751 01:01:37,195 --> 01:01:39,595 Fire! 752 01:02:01,954 --> 01:02:03,888 More sail! 753 01:02:04,123 --> 01:02:05,488 More sail! 754 01:02:13,832 --> 01:02:16,635 - Clear the debris! - Clear the debris! 755 01:02:16,735 --> 01:02:19,573 - Carpenters to action! - Carpenters to action! 756 01:02:19,673 --> 01:02:22,232 Jettison some ballast, Mr. McKenzie. 757 01:02:22,374 --> 01:02:25,606 We must sail as fast as we can without our sail. 758 01:02:28,048 --> 01:02:29,316 Well done, lad! 759 01:02:29,416 --> 01:02:31,315 This calls for a celebration. 760 01:02:31,483 --> 01:02:33,508 Well done, Captain. 761 01:02:34,220 --> 01:02:35,210 Oh, yes. 762 01:02:35,487 --> 01:02:38,116 No disrespect intended, Your Lordship. 763 01:03:16,864 --> 01:03:20,231 Straight back, head up and thrust. 764 01:03:20,901 --> 01:03:22,336 Well done, Son. 765 01:03:22,436 --> 01:03:26,203 - Straight back, head up and thrust. - Captain. 766 01:03:36,083 --> 01:03:37,779 Get out, you coward. 767 01:03:44,826 --> 01:03:47,090 - Ebenezer. - Yes, Percy? 768 01:03:47,629 --> 01:03:50,332 - I've been thinking. - Oh, yes? 769 01:03:50,432 --> 01:03:53,129 Can brandy make you see things? 770 01:03:54,304 --> 01:03:57,796 - If you drink enough of it. - Oh, that explains it. 771 01:03:58,440 --> 01:04:02,343 - That island I thought I saw. - Island? 772 01:04:04,279 --> 01:04:06,271 - It is an island. - Of course. 773 01:04:06,381 --> 01:04:07,678 It's beautiful. 774 01:04:21,097 --> 01:04:23,965 - Prepare the longboat, Mr. Tarbuck. - Aye, aye, sir. 775 01:04:25,401 --> 01:04:28,638 Now, men, a group of us are going to put ashore here for provisions. 776 01:04:28,738 --> 01:04:32,504 Provisions. Oh, yes. Of course, sir. 777 01:04:36,045 --> 01:04:40,384 Could be a mirage. Looks rather like a mirage I once saw. 778 01:04:40,484 --> 01:04:41,585 If I saw it. 779 01:04:41,685 --> 01:04:43,721 Is it anything like the map on my head? 780 01:04:43,821 --> 01:04:45,880 This is the island. 781 01:05:32,204 --> 01:05:36,265 I gladly moisten your foot with my nostrils, Your Barbarity. 782 01:05:39,779 --> 01:05:42,848 I have something very nice to show you. 783 01:05:42,948 --> 01:05:44,176 Excellent. 784 01:05:59,399 --> 01:06:01,301 So, explain to me, Senor Verdugo... 785 01:06:01,401 --> 01:06:04,961 the intricacies of this most holy instrument of confession. 786 01:06:05,738 --> 01:06:08,107 Triola, I don't think you should see this, my daughter. 787 01:06:08,207 --> 01:06:11,678 - It's only another torture machine. - I want it to be a surprise for you. 788 01:06:11,778 --> 01:06:14,337 - Later, my sweet. - All right, Daddy. 789 01:06:14,981 --> 01:06:17,384 - So, my new confessional. - Yes, of course. 790 01:06:17,484 --> 01:06:21,956 But first, Your Severity, you will notice that the instrument... 791 01:06:22,056 --> 01:06:25,759 is completely surrounded by this pool of acid... 792 01:06:25,859 --> 01:06:29,129 which will destroy anything thrown into it... 793 01:06:29,229 --> 01:06:32,631 except gold and precious stones. 794 01:06:32,800 --> 01:06:35,826 But flesh and bone and iron... 795 01:06:36,938 --> 01:06:38,234 Observe. 796 01:06:45,913 --> 01:06:47,073 Voilà! 797 01:06:50,117 --> 01:06:52,320 And it doesn't dissolve gold, you say? 798 01:06:52,420 --> 01:06:56,491 No. Not, of course. Of course not, Your Vapidity. 799 01:06:56,591 --> 01:07:01,052 Even if they have swallowed their valuables, Your Severity... 800 01:07:01,496 --> 01:07:05,800 there would be no need for those messy searches that we used to have. 801 01:07:05,900 --> 01:07:07,569 Unless we want one. 802 01:07:07,669 --> 01:07:09,933 Of course, Your Outrageousness. 803 01:07:17,179 --> 01:07:19,114 So this is my new confessional? 804 01:07:19,214 --> 01:07:23,446 Yes, it is. It works this way, Your Ferocity. If you will, please. 805 01:07:24,353 --> 01:07:25,911 The prisoner... 806 01:07:26,455 --> 01:07:28,321 is totally restrained... 807 01:07:28,591 --> 01:07:31,492 by means of this iron banding. 808 01:07:31,661 --> 01:07:33,492 Excellent. Excellent. 809 01:07:34,196 --> 01:07:38,361 But there is more to it than that, Your Blizzard of the Wrong. 810 01:07:38,467 --> 01:07:41,604 By means of these ratchets and these screws... 811 01:07:41,704 --> 01:07:45,141 you can place his body in any position that you want... 812 01:07:45,241 --> 01:07:49,405 for as long as you want and do anything to it that you want. 813 01:07:50,113 --> 01:07:53,484 You can break every bone in his hand... 814 01:07:53,584 --> 01:07:55,518 one at a time. 815 01:07:55,618 --> 01:07:57,313 - And feet? - And the feet. 816 01:07:58,121 --> 01:07:59,456 I love it. 817 01:07:59,556 --> 01:08:01,492 - And the back? - And the back. 818 01:08:01,592 --> 01:08:05,551 - And slowly crush them and break them? - Oh, yes. 819 01:08:06,129 --> 01:08:09,395 It is very effective, Your Acute Horrendousness. 820 01:08:09,766 --> 01:08:13,103 People will be even more frightened of me when they hear I have this. 821 01:08:13,203 --> 01:08:16,866 Oh, yes, definitely, Your Blind Stupidity. 822 01:08:18,943 --> 01:08:20,934 Even you, Senor Verdugo? 823 01:08:22,346 --> 01:08:24,448 Well, of course not me. 824 01:08:24,548 --> 01:08:28,678 I mean, after all, I made it. I designed it. It's my baby. 825 01:08:29,320 --> 01:08:31,312 Well, let's see if it works. 826 01:08:34,459 --> 01:08:38,122 If it does not work, I shall dispatch you with heavenly force. 827 01:08:50,408 --> 01:08:53,879 Well, we could all do with some good food and clean water. 828 01:08:53,979 --> 01:08:56,880 - Mr. Moon, prepare a hunting party. - Aye, aye, sir. 829 01:08:57,749 --> 01:08:59,618 Why don't you go ahead and forage... 830 01:08:59,718 --> 01:09:03,587 and me and a few of the lads'll stay behind and guard the boat? 831 01:09:04,089 --> 01:09:05,716 Very good, Mr. Moon. 832 01:09:15,901 --> 01:09:20,065 There's a beach like this, which ought to be on the other side of the island. 833 01:09:21,407 --> 01:09:24,274 We'll cover more ground if we separate. 834 01:09:25,112 --> 01:09:28,547 We'll have every gun on that ship ready for them when they return. 835 01:09:29,248 --> 01:09:30,772 Bosun Gilbert. 836 01:09:32,219 --> 01:09:35,119 Aye, aye, Captain Moon. 837 01:11:18,995 --> 01:11:20,656 Bloody murderers. 838 01:11:36,781 --> 01:11:38,475 Unhand me, you heathens. 839 01:11:45,156 --> 01:11:46,144 Percy... 840 01:11:46,357 --> 01:11:49,860 I think I found the tree that that paralyzing liquid comes from. 841 01:11:49,960 --> 01:11:52,952 Just stab some under the skin and... 842 01:11:53,898 --> 01:11:55,695 You do what? 843 01:11:56,300 --> 01:11:57,767 Stab some... 844 01:11:58,669 --> 01:12:00,102 Oh, that. 845 01:12:08,280 --> 01:12:10,144 They've captured Dan. 846 01:12:10,248 --> 01:12:11,943 Ebenezer, look. 847 01:12:12,516 --> 01:12:13,484 Who? 848 01:12:13,584 --> 01:12:16,053 Shall we send for reinforcements... 849 01:12:16,153 --> 01:12:18,122 or capture them now? 850 01:12:22,627 --> 01:12:23,889 Wait a minute. 851 01:12:24,729 --> 01:12:26,219 What's that? 852 01:12:33,105 --> 01:12:34,366 Good Lord. 853 01:12:34,740 --> 01:12:36,331 How did he get here? 854 01:12:36,441 --> 01:12:38,170 There's our reinforcement. 855 01:12:47,954 --> 01:12:51,151 Seems to have taken a mild dislike to the priests. 856 01:13:18,819 --> 01:13:22,516 Come on, men. Let's rescue Captain Dan. 857 01:13:23,223 --> 01:13:24,625 Not likely, mate. 858 01:13:24,725 --> 01:13:26,027 And the treasure. 859 01:13:26,127 --> 01:13:28,890 - Right you are, mate. - Be right with you. 860 01:13:30,764 --> 01:13:32,966 - No, no, I can't. Leave me alone. - Come on, come on, please. 861 01:13:33,066 --> 01:13:34,898 He'll come back. He'll kill you. You see? 862 01:13:35,736 --> 01:13:37,397 Your Assholiness. 863 01:13:42,376 --> 01:13:44,106 Greetings, Your Vehemence. 864 01:13:46,514 --> 01:13:47,748 Mission accomplished. 865 01:13:47,848 --> 01:13:50,185 By the grace of God and heavenly force... 866 01:13:50,285 --> 01:13:53,220 five heathen souls have attained eternal serenity. 867 01:13:54,255 --> 01:13:55,813 Only five? 868 01:13:56,991 --> 01:13:58,660 Was there any money? 869 01:13:58,760 --> 01:14:01,194 On the paltry side, Your Barbarity. 870 01:14:02,764 --> 01:14:06,325 So your mission was as so much fart gas. 871 01:14:07,269 --> 01:14:08,904 Oh, no, Your Offensiveness. 872 01:14:09,004 --> 01:14:11,740 The ship that they came on was after Yellowbeard's treasure. 873 01:14:11,840 --> 01:14:13,141 Yellowbeard? 874 01:14:13,241 --> 01:14:14,810 Oh, no, no. He is not here. 875 01:14:14,910 --> 01:14:16,979 Just the men who came looking for his treasure. 876 01:14:17,079 --> 01:14:19,808 This is one of their officers, Your Molestation. 877 01:14:20,482 --> 01:14:22,284 The treasure of Yellowbeard. 878 01:14:22,384 --> 01:14:24,180 Now I am the richest... 879 01:14:25,454 --> 01:14:27,752 You must find out everything he knows. 880 01:14:27,856 --> 01:14:29,687 I have just the thing. 881 01:14:45,808 --> 01:14:47,674 Oh, my head. 882 01:14:48,010 --> 01:14:50,780 And my foot and my back. 883 01:14:50,880 --> 01:14:52,313 Mon Dieu, it works. 884 01:14:52,415 --> 01:14:54,917 You may torture me, but it will avail you nothing. 885 01:14:55,017 --> 01:14:57,384 We'll see about that, sailor. 886 01:15:15,439 --> 01:15:20,103 Captain Moon, sir, they've captured Dan, and they're setting a trap for the others. 887 01:15:20,378 --> 01:15:21,674 Excellent. 888 01:15:22,079 --> 01:15:25,879 They're making it easy for us. Well done, Gilbert. 889 01:15:42,666 --> 01:15:44,567 Is it too cold for you? 890 01:15:45,270 --> 01:15:46,896 No, I'm all right. 891 01:15:47,706 --> 01:15:51,767 You must tell my father where the treasure is, or you will surely die. 892 01:15:51,977 --> 01:15:53,211 I'll tell him nothing. 893 01:15:53,311 --> 01:15:56,415 But he only wants it for the grace and glory of God. 894 01:15:56,515 --> 01:15:59,718 What kind of God is it that kills and tortures men? 895 01:15:59,818 --> 01:16:02,220 My father's only purpose is to enable heathen souls... 896 01:16:02,320 --> 01:16:05,881 to enter heaven more rapidly than they would of their own accord. 897 01:16:06,391 --> 01:16:07,915 Please tell him. 898 01:16:08,461 --> 01:16:10,228 It hurts me to see you hurt. 899 01:16:10,328 --> 01:16:13,765 It hurts me to see you be hurt by me being hurt. 900 01:16:15,101 --> 01:16:16,669 I think I love you. 901 01:16:16,769 --> 01:16:18,271 You're right, you do. 902 01:16:18,371 --> 01:16:19,928 And I love you. 903 01:16:20,406 --> 01:16:23,500 And when I am rescued, I want you to come with me. 904 01:16:23,743 --> 01:16:26,507 But to come with you would mean leaving here. 905 01:16:27,880 --> 01:16:30,440 - Are you taking the treasure? - That's right. 906 01:16:32,653 --> 01:16:34,922 Triola, you realize your father may be killed? 907 01:16:35,022 --> 01:16:38,057 Oh, Daddy won't mind. He's a bit odd about things like that. 908 01:16:38,157 --> 01:16:39,955 I must pack my things. 909 01:16:56,610 --> 01:16:58,805 Excuse me, Your Monstrosity. 910 01:16:59,313 --> 01:17:02,009 Our prisoner here must be very importante. 911 01:17:02,316 --> 01:17:05,581 There seems to be quite a little army gathering down there. 912 01:17:07,020 --> 01:17:09,921 - Could it be their leader? - No. 913 01:17:10,425 --> 01:17:13,161 But there is a man of very high rank giving orders. 914 01:17:13,261 --> 01:17:15,660 He would know where the treasure is. 915 01:17:15,797 --> 01:17:17,992 He is the one we must capture. 916 01:17:19,234 --> 01:17:22,137 That would be very difficult, O Berserk One. 917 01:17:22,237 --> 01:17:25,900 He would be the last in the attack and the first to escape. 918 01:17:26,406 --> 01:17:28,307 Typical leader for you. 919 01:17:29,344 --> 01:17:30,812 What did you say? 920 01:17:30,912 --> 01:17:33,904 I said, except for you, O Mindless Slaughterer. 921 01:17:38,953 --> 01:17:41,080 That's the answer. Yeah. 922 01:17:42,892 --> 01:17:47,124 We will lure their leader to the front by allowing their attack to succeed. 923 01:17:47,463 --> 01:17:48,451 Yes. 924 01:17:48,564 --> 01:17:53,126 We will pretend to resist and fake injury and death when they attack. 925 01:17:55,436 --> 01:17:58,770 Excuse me, why are you banging your head like that? 926 01:18:00,808 --> 01:18:02,641 - Was I? - Yes, you was. 927 01:18:03,379 --> 01:18:05,677 We all seen you, you silly man. 928 01:18:05,848 --> 01:18:07,149 Excuse me. 929 01:18:07,249 --> 01:18:12,243 Yes, and when the invaders reach the throne room, my men will rise up... 930 01:18:12,756 --> 01:18:16,282 and dispatch all with majestic heavenly force. 931 01:18:17,626 --> 01:18:20,152 Magnificent strategy, Your Arrogance. 932 01:18:20,429 --> 01:18:22,625 But it must look realistic. 933 01:18:22,832 --> 01:18:24,924 Anyone caught overacting... 934 01:18:25,535 --> 01:18:28,002 I will personally scare to death. 935 01:18:29,673 --> 01:18:32,073 - Alms for the poor. - Social parasite. 936 01:18:32,676 --> 01:18:33,743 Take the donkey. 937 01:18:33,843 --> 01:18:35,435 - My bowl. Where is my bowl? - Come on, burro! 938 01:18:39,217 --> 01:18:40,649 Hold on, men. 939 01:18:42,185 --> 01:18:43,447 This way. 940 01:18:44,755 --> 01:18:46,586 Welcome to our trap. 941 01:18:51,294 --> 01:18:52,852 Come on, Ebenezer. 942 01:18:55,633 --> 01:18:58,898 Now everyone wait for my signal. Oh, except you. 943 01:19:34,640 --> 01:19:36,267 That is pathetic! 944 01:19:41,080 --> 01:19:43,207 - What? - What about this, sir? 945 01:19:46,618 --> 01:19:49,019 Go back to your position. Go on! 946 01:19:51,423 --> 01:19:53,051 So far, so good. 947 01:19:54,426 --> 01:19:55,758 This way, men. 948 01:20:15,215 --> 01:20:17,115 Vasquez, don't overdo it. 949 01:20:21,187 --> 01:20:23,816 - Alms for the poor. - On guard. 950 01:20:25,825 --> 01:20:27,123 And you. 951 01:20:29,697 --> 01:20:30,925 Jolly good. 952 01:20:32,499 --> 01:20:33,898 Touché. 953 01:20:45,079 --> 01:20:46,376 Good shot. 954 01:20:54,155 --> 01:20:55,781 Look at this, sir. 955 01:21:02,297 --> 01:21:03,855 This is terrible! 956 01:21:04,799 --> 01:21:07,734 I will have no more bad acting! 957 01:21:36,232 --> 01:21:38,200 - That was great. Bravo. - Cool. 958 01:21:38,300 --> 01:21:39,892 Bravo. 959 01:21:44,473 --> 01:21:46,407 What do you make of it? 960 01:21:51,714 --> 01:21:53,739 Dead. Entirely. 961 01:21:58,388 --> 01:21:59,946 Release that man. 962 01:22:00,757 --> 01:22:03,225 You have fallen for one of my least likely plans. 963 01:22:06,163 --> 01:22:09,165 Stand up, men. Come on, you guys. Up. Up. 964 01:22:09,265 --> 01:22:11,501 I administered a drop of this to them all... 965 01:22:11,601 --> 01:22:13,535 just as a precaution. 966 01:22:14,237 --> 01:22:18,209 Well, then, you give me no choice. I shall have to... I shall have to... 967 01:22:18,309 --> 01:22:19,509 give up completely. 968 01:22:19,609 --> 01:22:22,077 Sorry about that. Sorry, sorry, everyone. 969 01:22:22,179 --> 01:22:24,808 I'll go free your friend, then, shall I? 970 01:22:29,520 --> 01:22:33,224 I'm much too fiendish for the likes of you white-faced persons. 971 01:22:33,324 --> 01:22:36,394 Your friend, who you value so highly, is in my power. 972 01:22:36,494 --> 01:22:38,896 - Well, what sort of power? - What? 973 01:22:38,996 --> 01:22:41,899 Well, what sort of power do you have? 974 01:22:41,999 --> 01:22:44,503 My divine right to command over life and death. 975 01:22:44,603 --> 01:22:47,638 - That sort of power. - That sort of power, yes. 976 01:22:47,738 --> 01:22:51,175 I thought perhaps you meant mechanical energy. 977 01:22:51,275 --> 01:22:54,506 As ruler, my supremacy is absolute on this island. 978 01:22:55,012 --> 01:22:57,683 I thought this was an atoll. 979 01:22:57,783 --> 01:23:01,053 - Not at all. Not an atoll. - No, not an atoll? Oh, no. What is it, then? 980 01:23:01,153 --> 01:23:03,622 - This is an isthmus. - Isthmus. 981 01:23:03,722 --> 01:23:06,452 Silence and obey, or I shall kill your captain. 982 01:23:08,660 --> 01:23:09,991 Yellowbeard. 983 01:23:14,600 --> 01:23:16,135 Father, we thought you were dead. 984 01:23:16,235 --> 01:23:19,571 Us Yellowbeards are never more dangerous than when we're dead. 985 01:23:19,671 --> 01:23:21,901 How you getting on pirating? 986 01:23:22,341 --> 01:23:25,334 - Well... - How many men have you killed so far? 987 01:23:25,478 --> 01:23:27,480 One. Two, I think. 988 01:23:27,580 --> 01:23:31,072 You think? You'll never kill anyone if you go around thinking. 989 01:23:32,785 --> 01:23:34,013 Triola. 990 01:23:35,555 --> 01:23:37,223 I don't think you've met my father. 991 01:23:37,323 --> 01:23:40,656 Been out raping, lad? Nice work, lad. 992 01:23:41,394 --> 01:23:42,729 No, I haven't raped her. 993 01:23:42,829 --> 01:23:44,864 No, you wouldn't have, you poncey little git. 994 01:23:44,964 --> 01:23:47,867 You're not the prawn of my loins. Your mother's a bloody liar. 995 01:23:47,967 --> 01:23:49,370 That's what I liked about her. 996 01:23:49,470 --> 01:23:52,840 She couldn't be your mother. No woman ever slept with me and lived. 997 01:23:52,940 --> 01:23:55,408 - What's happened to Daddy? - I killed him. 998 01:23:55,708 --> 01:23:57,177 He's gone to heaven. 999 01:23:57,277 --> 01:24:00,447 Oh, that's nice. He sent all his friends there. 1000 01:24:00,547 --> 01:24:02,283 She's yours, is she then, Dan? 1001 01:24:02,383 --> 01:24:04,985 Let me have a bit of a prod at her first. 1002 01:24:05,085 --> 01:24:07,246 - Father! - Captain Dan! 1003 01:24:07,488 --> 01:24:09,456 Captain Dan. It's Mr... 1004 01:24:12,893 --> 01:24:14,918 - Who? - It's... 1005 01:24:16,498 --> 01:24:18,931 It's Mr. Moon. 1006 01:24:19,501 --> 01:24:21,902 Moon? That shithead Moon? 1007 01:24:22,002 --> 01:24:24,306 It's time I got rid of him. 1008 01:24:24,406 --> 01:24:26,708 Dad, stop. Look, we'll all fight Mr. Moon. 1009 01:24:26,808 --> 01:24:29,674 Oh, good. Another battle. Well done, Son. 1010 01:24:30,210 --> 01:24:31,371 Dan. 1011 01:24:36,551 --> 01:24:39,850 Come on, men. Let's go get our treasure. 1012 01:24:49,197 --> 01:24:50,631 So long, mate. 1013 01:24:50,967 --> 01:24:54,202 Don't worry. I'll spend your share. 1014 01:24:54,302 --> 01:24:58,602 - No, you won't, Mr. Moon. - It's little Captain Dan, huh? 1015 01:24:59,874 --> 01:25:00,877 Yellowbeard! 1016 01:25:00,977 --> 01:25:03,605 Moon, you bastard, what betrayed me. 1017 01:25:06,382 --> 01:25:10,682 I'm gonna make you eat both your own buttocks. 1018 01:25:14,090 --> 01:25:18,083 I've got a score to settle with you, Captain Yellowbeard. 1019 01:25:28,971 --> 01:25:30,200 Good girl. 1020 01:25:44,521 --> 01:25:46,955 Hold your throat on this sword. 1021 01:25:55,732 --> 01:25:57,632 He's all yours, lad. 1022 01:26:37,576 --> 01:26:39,066 Dan, watch out. 1023 01:27:08,808 --> 01:27:10,105 Get going! 1024 01:27:11,311 --> 01:27:13,609 Great shot, young lady. 1025 01:27:19,886 --> 01:27:21,388 Later, Triola. I must find my father. 1026 01:27:21,488 --> 01:27:24,821 You mean Yellowbeard? He went that way. 1027 01:27:28,328 --> 01:27:30,091 Well, Commander Clement... 1028 01:27:30,197 --> 01:27:34,292 I had high hopes you would consider sharing. 1029 01:27:34,401 --> 01:27:37,104 Just lead me to Yellowbeard's treasure, Mrs. Beard. 1030 01:27:37,204 --> 01:27:38,932 - That's all I want. - Right. 1031 01:27:39,440 --> 01:27:42,033 Well, as I recall... 1032 01:27:43,077 --> 01:27:45,246 it should be in that direction. 1033 01:27:45,346 --> 01:27:49,077 Let's see, that's stagger, stagger, crawl, crawl... 1034 01:27:50,151 --> 01:27:53,917 No, that's crawl, crawl. Right. 1035 01:27:56,924 --> 01:27:58,289 Crawl, sir? 1036 01:27:59,227 --> 01:28:00,626 Come on, men. 1037 01:28:01,429 --> 01:28:03,920 Right, right. 1038 01:28:07,468 --> 01:28:11,239 Stagger, stagger, right and jump. 1039 01:28:11,339 --> 01:28:13,141 - And stagger. - Jump. 1040 01:28:13,241 --> 01:28:17,234 - Stagger, stagger, jump. - Jump. Wait for me, sir. 1041 01:28:17,913 --> 01:28:20,549 It's quite goodexercise this, really, isn't it? 1042 01:28:20,649 --> 01:28:24,141 Get shot, stagger, stagger, stagger... 1043 01:28:25,320 --> 01:28:26,755 roll... 1044 01:28:26,855 --> 01:28:31,690 stagger, stagger, stagger a little bit, then... 1045 01:28:32,661 --> 01:28:36,099 stagger, stagger, crawl, stagger... 1046 01:28:36,199 --> 01:28:38,894 stagger, stagger, roll... 1047 01:28:41,003 --> 01:28:43,528 and crawl, crawl, crawl... 1048 01:28:44,173 --> 01:28:47,410 - stagger, stagger, stagger... - Father, are you all right? 1049 01:28:47,510 --> 01:28:50,946 - ...stagger, stagger, stagger... - Father? 1050 01:28:52,682 --> 01:28:55,619 You made me forget where I was, you stupid little sod. 1051 01:28:55,719 --> 01:28:57,120 - What were you doing? - Shut up! 1052 01:28:57,220 --> 01:28:59,890 Did I just say stagger or was it crawl? 1053 01:28:59,990 --> 01:29:01,658 - I don't know. - It was crawl. 1054 01:29:01,758 --> 01:29:04,561 But was it crawl to the right, crawl to the left... 1055 01:29:04,661 --> 01:29:08,999 or crawl, crawl, then to the right, then stagger? Or was it... 1056 01:29:09,099 --> 01:29:10,800 Oh, bugger me, you've sodded the whole thing up... 1057 01:29:10,900 --> 01:29:12,770 like the stupid little twerp that you are. 1058 01:29:12,870 --> 01:29:16,340 I was recreating what happened to me 20 years ago, man and boy. 1059 01:29:16,440 --> 01:29:17,741 Why didn't you stay with us? 1060 01:29:17,841 --> 01:29:20,639 - Because I wanted to betray you. - But why? 1061 01:29:20,745 --> 01:29:23,281 I had to. Betraying's all part of pirating. 1062 01:29:23,381 --> 01:29:25,783 If you don't know that, you're not even close to being a pirate. 1063 01:29:25,883 --> 01:29:28,374 - Prawn of my loins, my foot. - What? 1064 01:29:28,886 --> 01:29:30,788 You're either born a pirate or not. 1065 01:29:30,888 --> 01:29:34,692 It's in the blood, Dan, and it's not in your blood, or you'd have betrayed me long ago. 1066 01:29:34,792 --> 01:29:37,829 All right, I may not be a pirate, but at least I've got a brain in my head... 1067 01:29:37,929 --> 01:29:39,597 so why don't we just follow the instructions? 1068 01:29:39,697 --> 01:29:40,856 Right. 1069 01:29:45,770 --> 01:29:46,794 Right. 1070 01:29:47,171 --> 01:29:51,904 Six paces north, left at the rock, then four paces west. 1071 01:29:53,378 --> 01:29:54,947 Right, come on, lad. 1072 01:29:55,047 --> 01:29:58,414 Give us a hand. Stride, stride, stagger left... 1073 01:29:58,517 --> 01:30:01,041 stride, stride, then dig. 1074 01:30:02,054 --> 01:30:04,749 Go on, make yourself useful, lad. 1075 01:30:06,058 --> 01:30:08,293 You know, the way you was fighting back there... 1076 01:30:08,393 --> 01:30:10,830 there may be some pirate blood in you, after all. 1077 01:30:10,930 --> 01:30:14,195 Well, I did have a hand in forcing Mr. Moon into the acid. 1078 01:30:14,499 --> 01:30:18,561 With your head on my shoulders, we can wreck civilization. 1079 01:30:21,206 --> 01:30:23,877 - And stagger and jump and jump... - Keep hopping. 1080 01:30:23,977 --> 01:30:25,638 ...and stagger and stagger and jump. 1081 01:30:27,680 --> 01:30:31,241 Go on, Dan, use your dagger. 1082 01:30:35,989 --> 01:30:39,220 - Look at it all. - Hip, hip, hooray! 1083 01:30:39,893 --> 01:30:43,192 - Triola, we're rich. - Come on, Dan. 1084 01:30:44,597 --> 01:30:46,530 Congratulations, Father. 1085 01:30:48,468 --> 01:30:50,459 But I didn't... 1086 01:30:51,071 --> 01:30:54,063 - You are a Yellowbeard. - What? 1087 01:30:56,476 --> 01:31:00,606 Killing your father as I killed my father before me. 1088 01:31:02,283 --> 01:31:04,751 - Dad, the blood. - Blood. 1089 01:31:07,153 --> 01:31:09,179 That's what I like to hear. 1090 01:31:09,924 --> 01:31:11,915 You are my son. 1091 01:31:19,667 --> 01:31:21,726 Halt, in the name of the law! 1092 01:31:23,504 --> 01:31:26,530 Well done there, lad. Got him at last. 1093 01:31:26,907 --> 01:31:28,676 All right, men. Keep your guns on him. 1094 01:31:28,776 --> 01:31:33,146 Hello, Dan. Hello, lambchop. Wonderful to see you. 1095 01:31:33,381 --> 01:31:34,982 Pity about your dad. 1096 01:31:35,082 --> 01:31:38,654 On the other hand, it is the way what he said he always wanted to go. 1097 01:31:38,754 --> 01:31:40,085 Horribly. 1098 01:31:41,188 --> 01:31:43,555 Commander Clement, Royal Navy. 1099 01:31:44,426 --> 01:31:48,130 - I claim this treasure... - He claims it? 1100 01:31:48,230 --> 01:31:51,063 ...in the name of Her Majesty, Queen Anne. 1101 01:31:51,166 --> 01:31:54,727 Dan, darling, I don't think I love you anymore. 1102 01:31:55,103 --> 01:31:57,071 You're right. You don't. 1103 01:31:57,407 --> 01:31:58,840 Goodbye, Triola. 1104 01:31:58,940 --> 01:32:01,876 There's at least two more chests down there. 1105 01:32:02,078 --> 01:32:04,841 You'll be a duke now, sir. Won't you, sir? 1106 01:32:05,647 --> 01:32:07,945 Duty, Mansell. That's my reward. 1107 01:32:08,885 --> 01:32:10,146 Duke, eh? 1108 01:32:11,154 --> 01:32:14,589 You've got a lovely bottom, blue eyes. 1109 01:32:14,956 --> 01:32:16,982 - I think I love you. - What? 1110 01:32:17,260 --> 01:32:20,530 She said you've got a lovely bottom, sir, and... 1111 01:32:20,630 --> 01:32:22,461 - Shut up, Mansell. - Yes, sir. 1112 01:32:23,032 --> 01:32:26,264 - Right, Mansell, clap those people in irons. - Sir. 1113 01:32:30,673 --> 01:32:33,267 You poor dear. You must have suffered. 1114 01:32:33,609 --> 01:32:36,545 - Tell me about it. - It was simply awful. 1115 01:32:48,258 --> 01:32:51,455 Sir, I was just thinking... 1116 01:32:52,062 --> 01:32:54,665 Her Majesty can have no idea... 1117 01:32:54,765 --> 01:32:57,529 how much treasure we've got. Can she, sir? 1118 01:32:58,470 --> 01:33:00,027 No, she can't. 1119 01:33:01,005 --> 01:33:03,165 - Have one yourself. - Thank you, sir. 1120 01:33:03,675 --> 01:33:06,734 Or even where we are. 1121 01:33:08,445 --> 01:33:09,879 I say, sir. 1122 01:33:11,715 --> 01:33:15,618 Mansell, are you thinking what I think you're thinking? 1123 01:33:15,887 --> 01:33:18,253 I'll think whatever you say, sir. 1124 01:33:20,091 --> 01:33:22,616 Ever been to the Americas? 1125 01:33:27,365 --> 01:33:31,028 Us Yellowbeards are never more dangerous than when we're dead. 1126 01:33:32,037 --> 01:33:33,163 Dan. 1127 01:33:35,273 --> 01:33:37,003 I think I love you. 1128 01:33:37,309 --> 01:33:40,176 Come on, lad, there's pirating to be done. 81760

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