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>> [SPEAKING SLURRED GIBBERISH]
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>> OH, STUPID COW!
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LOVE HER!
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>> LOOK, GUYS.
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YOU MIND WRAPPING IT UP?
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I MEAN, I'VE--YOU KNOW, I'VE
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STAYED OPEN AN EXTRA 7 HOURS.
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NOT THAT I REALLY MIND, BUT YOU
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KNOW--OH, OOH, OOH!
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OHH!
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OHH!
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AAH!
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OHH!
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>> ASK IS ALL RIGHT TO DRIVE?
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>> YEAH. HE'S FINE.
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[TIRES SQUEAL]
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>> ♪ STANDING UP
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YOU HEAR WHAT I'M SAYING?
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STANDING STILL
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WELL, THE TINY POP STOOD UP
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STANDING UP
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YOU HEARD THE SONG, Y'ALL
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I'M STANDING UP
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SITTING DOWN FOR ME
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STANDING
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STANDING UP, YOU HEARD ♪
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[SCREAMING]
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OHH, OW, OHH, AAH!
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[HORN HONKS]
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>> ♪ DO ANYTHING FOR DETHKLOK
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DO ANYTHING FOR DETHKLOK
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DO ANYTHING FOR DETHKLOK
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DO ANYTHING FOR DETHKLOK
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DO ANYTHING FOR DETHKLOK ♪
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>> ♪ DETHKLOK, DETHKLOK
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DETHKLOK, DETHKLOK ♪
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>> ♪ I'LL
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TEACH YOU
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WHO
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ROCK
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DETHKLOK! DETHKLOK! ♪
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>> ♪ SKWISGAAR SKWIGELF
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TALLER THAN A TREE
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TOKI WARTOOTH
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NOT A BUMBLE BEE
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WILLIAM MURDERFACE
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MURDERFACE, MURDERFACE
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PICKLES THE DRUMMER
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DOODILY DOO, DING-DONG
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DOODILY DOODILY DOO
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NATHAN EXPLOSION ♪
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[CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
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TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP]
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>> OH. A BASS.
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>> YOU KNOW, I FIGURED, YOU
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KNOW, YOU PLAY BASS, SO...
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>> OH, THANKS.
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THANK YOU.
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JUST PUT THAT OVER THERE.
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>> HEY. I GOT YOUS KEN BURNS'
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"CIVIL WAR" DOCUMENTARY, YOU
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KNOW.
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ACTUALLY, I THINK THIS IS YOURS.
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I'M JUST GIVING IT BACK TO YOU.
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I, UH, NEVER WATCHED IT.
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>> THANK YOU.
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>> AND I GOT YOU THIS.
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IT'S TWO SIAMESE FIGHTING FISH.
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THEY LOVES TO PAL AROUND.
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THAT'S WHY YOU GETS TWO.
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LOOK.
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>> YEAH. I GUESS I'M LUCKY TO
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BE ALIVE, HUH?
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I MEAN, AM I?
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DO I REALLY DESERVE TO BE HERE
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RIGHT NOW?
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>> OK.
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>> AUGH!
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I DID THIS TO YOU.
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I WAS DRIVING THE MURDERCYCLE.
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IT SHOULD BE ME THERE STILL
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ALIVE WITH ALL THOSE GIFTS.
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I'M SORRY.
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I'M SORRY!
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>> AAH!
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>> OH, GOD. I'M SORRY!
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>> I JUST...
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ALMOST DYING MADE ME THINK.
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NOT VERY HARD, BUT THERE'S GOT
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TO BE SOMETHING OUT THERE
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BEYOND THIS LIFE, THIS LIFE AS
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WE KNOW IT.
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I THINK I NEED TO BECOME
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RELIGIOUS.
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>> IT SEEMS WILLIAM MURDERFACE
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IS EXPLORING RELIGION.
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>> THIS IS A DARK-A SIGN.
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WE HAVE BEEN FEARING THIS.
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>> YES.
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WHEN A CELEBRITY DECIDES TO
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EMBRACE A RELIGION, THEY CAN
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BECOME INCREDIBLY POWERFUL, AND
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THEIR FANS CAN BECOME EVEN MORE
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PASSIONATE.
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>> THIS COULD TURN INTO A MAJOR
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INCIDENT!
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ALL THE SIGNS ARE THERE.
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WE SHOULD IMMOBILIZE THEM.
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OUR PEACE IS AT STAKE.
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MR. SALACIA, I'M OUTLINING
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SEVERAL PLANS--
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>> YOU ARE WORKING FOR ME,
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GENERAL, AND YOUR JOB IS TO
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COLLECT INFORMATION, CLUES,
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NOTHING ELSE.
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>> THIS IS ABSURD!
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>> THAT IS ENOUGH, GENERAL.
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I WILL NOT BE CHALLENGED BY YOU.
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>> SO WHAT DO YOU HAVE?
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>> VERY LITTLE.
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I'M SUSPICIOUS.
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HIS BACKGROUND IS MURKY, HE'S
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HARD TO TRACK.
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HE'S LIKE A GHOST.
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>> HE KEEPS APPEARING IN MY
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DREAMS.
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HE SPEAKS TO ME IN AN ANCIENT
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LANGUAGE THAT I DON'T
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UNDERSTAND, BUT I THINK HE IS
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TELLING ME THAT I AM GOING TO
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DIE.
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>> I DON'T TRUST HIM, AND I
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DON'T THINK YOU TRUST HIM
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EITHER, AND I'D LIKE TO KNOW
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THAT I HAVE AN ALLY IN YOU AND
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THE CHURCH SHOULD THIS
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OPERATION BLOW OUT OF CONTROL.
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>> YES, YOU DO.
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>> ♪ MMM
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RELIGIOOONNN
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RELIGIOOOONNN
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MMM
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RELIGIOOONNN ♪
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>> THIS IS DILDOS.
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DOESN'T HE KNOW THERE'S NO SUCH
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THINGS AS RELIGION?
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>> YOU MEAN, YOU DON'T BELIEVE
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IN GOD.
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THERE IS SUCH THING AS RELIGION.
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>> WELL, THEN PROVES IT.
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SHOW ME MIRACLES THAT RELIGION
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EXISTS.
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>> WELL, YOU KNOW, THERE'S THE
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BIBLE RIGHT THERE.
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>> WELL, MAYBE I REEVALUATE MY
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LIFE THEN.
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>> GUYS, I NEED TO FIND OUT
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WHICH RELIGION WORKS FOR ME,
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THE GUY IN HERE, AND I CAN'T DO
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IT ALONE.
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I NEED YOU TO COME WITH ME.
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>> ♪ I'M INVOLVED
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IN THE TRUTH MACHINE
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GIVE TO THE POOR AND HELPFULLY
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TWEENER CRUSADERS
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TRUTH INVADERS
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STRIKE THE DEVIL WITH MY
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GREATER GOAL
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DRINK FROM GOD'S CUP
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AND THEN CATAPULT
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INTO HIS KINGDOM
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WE'RE APOSTLES OF FREEDOM
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DON'T YOU KNOW IT WAS
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A TRUTH MACHINE... ♪
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>> OH, COME ON.
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I GREW UP IN THE MIDWEST.
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I DON'T NEED TO SEE ANOTHER
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CHRISTIAN ROCK BAND.
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>> LISTEN. I ALMOST KILLED HIM.
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HE NEEDS OUR SUPPORT.
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JUST GIVE IT A CHANCE.
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SEE, IT'S--IT'S NOT SO BAD.
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IT'S, UH, FRUNGHOOL.
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>> THERE IS NO GOD.
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LISTEN TO HIS GUITAR.
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UGH!
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>> I'M GONNA CHECK OUT THIS
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CHRISTIAN ROCK MOSH PIT.
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>> YEAH!
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ALL RIGHT!
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EVERYBODY...
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PRAISE THE LORD!
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>> OHH!
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>> I'VE SEEN ENOUGH.
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PRETTY GOOD.
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[ORGAN PLAYING]
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>> WHAT KIND OF CHURCH IS THIS?
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>> THIS IS, UH, THE CHURCH OF
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THE ATHEISTS.
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>> WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
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>> OH. IT MEANS THAT THEY DON'T
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BELIEVE IN, YOU KNOW, UH, GOD.
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>> OH. LIKE SKWISGAARD AND TOKI?
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>> NO. WE ARE NIHILISTS.
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WE DON'T BELIEVE IN ANYTHING.
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>> CAN'T A NIHILIST ALSO NOT
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BELIEVE IN GOD, TOO?
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>> UH, I DON'T KNOW.
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>> SHH!
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QUIET.
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>> O GOD, WHOM WE DO NOT
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BELIEVE IN, LET US ALL NOT PRAY
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FOR YOU, WHO DOES NOT EXIST IN
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ANY RATIONAL REAL--OH, NO!
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WE'RE BEING PICKETED BY
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AGNOSTICS!
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>> AGNOSTICS HONOR THE
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POSSIBILITY OF THERE NOT BEING
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A GOD.
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>> GET THEM!
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>> THEY HATE EACH OTHER.
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THIS IS GONNA BE AWESOME.
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[WHISTLE BLOWING]
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>> JUST GIVE ME A SIGN.
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SHOW ME THE PATH OF
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ENLIGHTENMENT, DEAR SWEET
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DEMILORD ICON.
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>> I DON'T WANTS TO SOUND
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HARSH, BUT THIS IS GETTING
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WEIRD.
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HE'S BEEN THROUGH EVERY
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RELIGION.
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HE AIN'T DECIDE ON NOTHING.
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THIS KIND OF THING COULD REALLY
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[GUITAR PLAYS] UP A BAND.
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WE MIGHT NEEDS TO KICK HIS ASS
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OUT.
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>> WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
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WHY DO YOU SAY THAT?
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>> BECAUSE HE'S CREEPY.
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HE'S ACTING LIKE HE'S [GUITAR
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PLAYS] DEMON POSSESSED.
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LOOK AT HIM.
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>> JA. I AGREE.
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IT ALWAYS HAPPENS.
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ONE BAND MEMBER, YOU KNOW,
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BECOMES RELIGION, AND THE WHOLE
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BAND HAS TO CHANGE TO
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ACCOMMODATE THE GUY, YOU KNOW.
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THE DYNAMIC IS ALL TO BOOM.
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MAGIC IS GONE.
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IT SUCKS, YOU KNOW, BUT, JA, I
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SAY WE KILL HIM.
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>> OH. COME ON, YOU DICKS.
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HE'S THE BASS PLAYER.
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WITHOUT HIM WE'RE NOTHING.
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SURE. WE MIX HIS BASS OUT OF
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PRETTY MUCH EVERY SONG, BUT WE
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NEED HIM.
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OK. WE DON'T REALLY NEED HIM,
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BUT IT'S MY FAULT HE'S THIS WAY.
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I GUESS THAT'S MY POINT.
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>> AW, JUST GIVETH ME A SIGN.
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[GUITAR PLAYING ON CELL PHONE]
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HELLO?
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>> GREETINGS, YOU CHILDREN OF
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SATAN.
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TONIGHT, WE WILL PAY HOMAGE TO
269
00:08:44,625 --> 00:08:45,745
OUR UNDERLORD AND MAKE
270
00:08:45,833 --> 00:08:47,713
SACRIFICES UNTO HIM.
271
00:08:47,792 --> 00:08:49,962
UH, OK.
272
00:08:50,042 --> 00:08:50,832
BUT FIRST A COUPLE OF
273
00:08:50,917 --> 00:08:52,377
ANNOUNCEMENTS.
274
00:08:52,458 --> 00:08:53,788
LAST WEEK, SOME PEOPLE LEFT
275
00:08:53,875 --> 00:08:55,495
SOME TRASH BEHIND, CANDY
276
00:08:55,583 --> 00:08:57,713
WRAPPERS, COFFEE CUPS, AND
277
00:08:57,792 --> 00:08:59,002
EMPTY CHIP BAGS.
278
00:08:59,083 --> 00:09:00,713
UM, OK. THIS IS A CHURCH OF
279
00:09:00,792 --> 00:09:01,332
SATAN.
280
00:09:01,417 --> 00:09:04,207
THIS ISN'T A WASTE PAPER BASKET
281
00:09:04,292 --> 00:09:06,132
C-CAN.
282
00:09:06,208 --> 00:09:08,498
SO IF YOU COULD PLEASE JUST
283
00:09:08,583 --> 00:09:09,673
REMEMBER TO CLEAN UP AFTER
284
00:09:09,750 --> 00:09:10,880
YOURSELVES, AND WE CAN AVOID
285
00:09:10,958 --> 00:09:15,168
HAVING, YOU KNOW, ANTS, WORMS,
286
00:09:15,250 --> 00:09:16,630
RACCOONS.
287
00:09:16,708 --> 00:09:17,788
HAIL SATAN.
288
00:09:17,875 --> 00:09:21,125
>> HAIL SATAN.
289
00:09:21,208 --> 00:09:24,458
>> ALSO, THE NEIGHBOR NEXT DOOR
290
00:09:24,542 --> 00:09:26,212
IS ON A REAL TEAR.
291
00:09:26,292 --> 00:09:29,712
HE WANTS--HE'S TOWING CARS, SO
292
00:09:29,792 --> 00:09:31,632
TRY NOT TO PARK IN FRONT OF HIS
293
00:09:31,708 --> 00:09:32,958
HOUSE BECAUSE YOUR CAR WILL BE
294
00:09:33,042 --> 00:09:35,382
TOWED, AND THAT'S AROUND $300.
295
00:09:35,458 --> 00:09:36,748
$300.
296
00:09:36,833 --> 00:09:37,673
HAIL SATAN.
297
00:09:37,750 --> 00:09:42,080
>> HAIL SATAN.
298
00:09:42,167 --> 00:09:43,497
>> PRAY NOW THE PRAYER OF
299
00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:44,333
REVENGE.
300
00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:46,287
FROM WHOM DO YOU SEEK REVENGE?
301
00:09:46,375 --> 00:09:47,955
>> I SEEK REVENGE ON RACHEL RAY
302
00:09:48,042 --> 00:09:49,212
AND THE "FOOD NETWORKS."
303
00:09:49,042 --> 00:09:51,082
CAN'T YOU MAKE HER EYES FALL
304
00:09:51,167 --> 00:09:52,747
OUT OR SOMETHING?
305
00:09:52,833 --> 00:09:56,503
TITS FALL OFF?
306
00:09:56,583 --> 00:09:58,133
>> SATAN, GRANT THIS MAN THE
307
00:09:58,208 --> 00:09:59,038
GIFT OF REVENGE AGAINST HIS
308
00:09:59,125 --> 00:10:01,325
FOES AT THE "FOOD NETWORK."
309
00:10:01,417 --> 00:10:02,127
>> SERIOUSLY?
310
00:10:02,208 --> 00:10:03,168
>> YES.
311
00:10:03,250 --> 00:10:04,420
>> S-SERIOUSLY?
312
00:10:04,500 --> 00:10:05,080
>> YES.
313
00:10:05,167 --> 00:10:05,917
>> REALLY?
314
00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:06,540
>> YES.
315
00:10:06,625 --> 00:10:08,035
>> THAT'S COOL.
316
00:10:08,125 --> 00:10:10,575
>> AND NOW WE WILL SUMMON THE 4
317
00:10:10,667 --> 00:10:15,077
DEMONS OF THE APOCALYPSE!
318
00:10:15,167 --> 00:10:18,167
MEPHISTOPHELES,
319
00:10:18,250 --> 00:10:24,170
BEEL--BEELZEBUB...
320
00:10:24,250 --> 00:10:27,040
>> UH, EXCUSE ME!
321
00:10:27,125 --> 00:10:29,285
EXCUSE ME!
322
00:10:29,375 --> 00:10:30,205
DOES ANYONE KNOW WHERE THE
323
00:10:30,292 --> 00:10:34,042
NEAREST BAR IS?
324
00:10:34,125 --> 00:10:35,285
DOES ANYONE KNOW ANY GOOD BARS
325
00:10:35,375 --> 00:10:37,285
AROUND HERE?
326
00:10:37,375 --> 00:10:38,995
YOU'RE KILLING ME.
327
00:10:39,083 --> 00:10:41,213
YOU'RE KILLING ME HERE.
328
00:10:41,292 --> 00:10:43,832
IT'S ALL THE SAME.
329
00:10:43,917 --> 00:10:45,207
IT'S ALL THE SAME.
330
00:10:45,042 --> 00:10:46,832
ALL RELIGIONS ARE A BUNCH OF
331
00:10:46,917 --> 00:10:48,997
BORING CRAP!
332
00:10:49,083 --> 00:10:50,543
DOES ANYBODY KNOW WHERE THERE'S
333
00:10:50,625 --> 00:10:53,625
A GOOD BAR AROUND HERE?
334
00:10:53,708 --> 00:10:54,998
>> OH, STUPID COW.
335
00:10:55,083 --> 00:10:59,633
HA HA HA!
336
00:10:59,708 --> 00:11:01,208
[CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
337
00:11:01,042 --> 00:11:02,542
TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP]
338
00:11:02,625 --> 00:11:04,165
[CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL
339
00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:05,540
CAPTIONING INSTITUTE
340
00:11:05,625 --> 00:11:06,745
--www.ncicap.org--]
341
00:11:06,833 --> 00:11:08,543
>> AAH!
342
00:11:08,625 --> 00:11:09,825
>> AAH!
343
00:11:09,917 --> 00:11:12,497
>> AAH!
344
00:11:12,583 --> 00:11:14,043
>> AAH!
345
00:11:14,125 --> 00:11:22,285
>> [GROWLING]
346
00:11:23,625 --> 00:11:25,205
>> NO, NO, NO!
347
00:11:25,255 --> 00:11:29,805
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