All language subtitles for The.Fallout.2021.WEB-DL.HBOGO-English

Where's my primer?

Vada, we're late!

Vada.

God...

Takin' all these meds
To the face got me flying

Takin' all these meds
To the face got me dying

Smoke 'til my mind frying
Eyes red, high and crying

Numb the pain
With Oxy and Dior, yeah, pricey

Juice like Tupac Shakur, no iced tea

Dude, we are so fucking late!

Are the cake pops different flavors,
or are they just different colors?

- Different flavors.
- What are the flavor differences?

Timing, timing, timing

All about timing, timing, timing

Sit back in my chair
Relaxing and reclining

He has not a care in the world
No, I'm lying

Honestly, it is a miracle
that we made it on time.

Dude, we are killing it!

Per "yoozh," yes.

Also, is it just me or does coffee
immediately make you have to shit?

Immediately, yeah.

Like, I smell coffee
and I'm shitting my pants.

Pause the shit-talking
till Justin Dragonas passes.

Oh, my God, I want him.

We need to come up with a code
for shitting.

- You're right!
- All right, let's think.

- Okay, like...
- We can say, like.

"I need to talk to my boss."

What are you talking about?

Are you picking
what I'm putting down?

It's like, "Okay, I need to have
a long call with my boss

and he's mad."

"Oh, my God, my boss is so mad at me

that I got a penis call
this morning."

And then when you...

it could be
like you're texting your boss.

- "Texting your boss." I love it.
- You're texting your boss.

- We love that.
- We have to keep it fancy.

We love to keep it fancy,
that's what we do.

Now that's also a concern

because most of that water
is paleowater.

Dating back to the most rec...
Yes, Vada?

Does the kind of rock affect
how long the aquifer lasts

or how quickly it recharges?

That's a great question,
but that depends on many factors.

Anybody wanna guess
what the next biggest aquifer is?

So we have to think
about what we know

about the aquifers, right?

So the Ogallala Aquifer
is one of the largest eight

in the world, not to... Yes?

- I'm sorry, can I use the restroom?
- Yes.

It dates back to the recent ice age.

So when we think about that
we have to say

"This is one of the largest
in the world."

Are you okay?

- No.
- What happened?

I don't want anyone to hear me.

Dude, literally, just tell me,
you're freaking me out.

I got my period.

What? I... I can't hear you.

I'll just text it to you.

Jesus, Amelia!

You don't text 911
when you get your period!

You scared the shit out of me.
Oh, my God!

I'm sorry.

It's okay.

Wait, haven't you been dyin'
to get your period for like a year?

I thought you'd be stoked.

It's different than I thought.

You mean shitty as hell?
Yeah, I know.

You're the worst. I'm hanging up now.

I'm sorry...

Do you...

have everything you need?

Yeah, I stole it from your room
a few months ago.

It's in my backpack.

Just in case.

I was just gonna tell you
to stuff a bunch of toilet paper

in your pants till you get home

but that...

that's some pro-level shit.
Nice move!

Oh, my God.

How about this?

Let's go to dinner tonight,
just you and I, okay?

And I will fill you in

on all the bloody, chunky,
gooey, goopy details.

Shut up.

I love ya. Congratulations.

Don't say "congrats," you freak.

I love you too.

Photo day.

Better get my shit together.

You don't even need to wear makeup.

Sorry, what?

I just said, you don't even need
to wear makeup.

I...

What was that?

Come on, come on!

- Was that a gun?
- Get down!

Take 'em off!

Everybody, get down!

No!

Put them... put them on.

We're gonna die.

Go...

Oh, my God...

Is it over?

Is it over?

Who's in there?

I'm not the shooter.
It's Matt Corgan, I saw him.

Do you know where he is now?

I don't know...

My brother.

Come, come under. Just come.

Fuck, are you shot?

My brother.

You! Drop your weapon!

Drop your weapon now!

Down on the ground!

- Maybe we should wake her up.
- She needs to rest.

I just wanna talk to her.

Did you know him?

He follows you on Instagram,
so he knew you.

It's, like, on every channel.

Like, CNN was interviewing
your friend Melody.

So crazy.

Did you know anyone who died?

- Amelia.
- What?

Is there a list or something?

Sometimes, I'm just, like,
"What year are we living in?"

I'm literally gonna Amazon
a bulletproof backpack.

- Amelia!
- What?

Please don't cry, Mom.

I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry.

Do you need something?

I was just gonna take a bath.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Fuck.

I'm glad you're going to see Nick.
How's he holding up?

I think okay.

Good! Good.

What about you?
How... how are you feeling?

Better.

That's good, so good.
I'm really so glad to hear that.

I literally thought it was a drill

'cause Cambie had us locked in

shades over the window

in, like, two seconds, so I was, like

"Okay, clearly, this is...
This is a drill."

- Right?
- Yeah.

And Olivia Metis is, like, talking

you know, being annoying,
and Cambie goes

- "Olivia, be fucking quiet."
- No.

And we're all like, "Oh, shit.
Like, this is real deal, no joke."

It's just so... it's so fucked.

I can't stop hearing the sound of it.

So last night, I was like,
"Okay, why did I survive?

Like out of everyone, like, why me?

Is it so that I can do something

to, like, make this
never happen again?"

So, I set up this Zoom with Everytown

and we're gonna talk about, like

how to be more reactive,
how to start a movement

how to get a fucking bill passed.
Like, something.

Why do you think he did it?

I don't know,
is there like ever a reason?

After initial reports of a shooter

officers surrounded the campus

directing the evacuation of hundreds
of students from the scene.

This tragedy is...

I think Anderson Cooper is cute.

- We've been on the scene.
- He is.

Don't get too attached.

Disturbing videos
from the students' cellphones...

In the video,
gunshots can be heard in the hall

answered by children
screaming in their classrooms...

I'm gonna go to Nick's.

Okay.

...during the escape,
children fled the building.

Hey.

Hey.

Wanna come in?

Thank you.

Want some water or somethin'?

Okay.

You have a really nice house.

- Thanks.
- Really nice, it's a cool vibe

with the wood and...

You have a lot of cool art here, too.

Yeah. My dads are artists, so...

- Your parents are artists?
- Yeah.

That is so cool.

It all makes sense now.

Do you know when they'll be back?

I'm actually not really sure.

Yeah, they're gone,
like, all the time.

I have to be honest with you,
'cause if I'm not

then I'll probably feel
really bad about it.

But I watched some of... Thank you.

Some of your dance videos
on Instagram.

In the videos, you come off
so, like, hard.

And whatever.

What I'm tryin' to say is
you're a completely different person

when you're dancing

and in real life,
you're, like, so different.

Yeah, I don't know why I'm like that.

It's like... yeah.

It's cool, though,
that you're able to like just switch

into a different mode.

Like, I could never do
something like that. It's dope.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Is that... is that wine okay for you?

Oh, yeah. No, it's so good.

Are you sure?
I have, like, a couple of others...

No, it's... yeah...

That's like the best one
I've ever had, so...

Okay.

I'm sorry, I'm gonna...

I'll turn this off,
my mom keeps checking in on me.

Okay.

Nick told me that Quinton's brother's
service is tomorrow.

Already? That's...

- Yeah, I...
- That's great.

I guess some religions do them fast.

I was thinkin' about going.
Do you think that would be weird?

No. No, I don't... I don't think so.

Okay.

I mean, I can, like,
come with you if you want.

Yeah, no, I...

- Yeah, I want... Yeah.
- Yeah, if you...

Yeah. If that's cool with you, so...

- Yeah, let's do it.
- Cool.

Can I ask you a question?

Did you have, like...
the craziest nightmares last night?

You have to be able to sleep
to have nightmares.

Hey.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Thank you for coming.

Of course.

Do you wanna go to Starbucks?

No.

Do you want a Starbucks?

No.

Okay.

I'm literally gonna make Mom
get me something with caffeine.

I only do that when I play
with my little dinosaur.

Do the cat pitch.

Never again.

I only do that when I play
with my little dinosaur.

Do the cat pitch.

Never again.

Are you hungry?

This is really good.

I'm spilling it everywhere.

It is really good.

Are your dads really chill?

They travel a lot though, huh?

Mostly Europe.

For, like, fun?

Work.

Do they send people to spy on you

or they trust you just to not
throw a bunch of ragers?

I mean, they know
I'm not like a rager person, so...

Who do you hang out with at school?

Like...

like, different people. Like...

a bunch of different people, so...

I'm gone a lot with dance.

How often do you dance?

Every day.

Like, classes?

But I haven't gone

since the thing.

Are your parents chill?

My dad more than my mom, for sure.

My mom's,
like, very white and anxious.

I don't really tell 'em
anything though

'cause, like, they worry.

I feel kinda bad for it.
They're actually really good parents.

I see you're packing for a trip.

What's your favorite country
to visit?

Paris.

What's the last country you visited?

Europe.

What country do you wish to visit?

Persia.

What's the weirdest word
in the English language?

"Moist." Yuck.

When was the last time you cried?

Can you stay?

It's late.

Just till I fall asleep.

Okay.

Thanks.

What's your favorite movie?

- Pizza.
- Favorite TV show?

I would have to say
my pilot with Kate Berlant

that was passed on
by every major network

and streaming platform.

Meanwhile, rapists everywhere
continue to freely make content.

What up, bitch?

Dude, I'm so sorry
I missed the march.

I mean, it's fine.

I was just, like,
legit worried about you.

It was cool, though.
They let me speak.

I wish you'd been there,
but it's fine, I'll send you a link.

I know, I'm sorry. I just...

It's a long story, but I ended up
goin' to Mia's house and...

Wait, LOL. Mia Reed?

- What?
- Yeah.

She... she's just been alone
and I feel bad.

- So I just...
- No... I mean, it's fine.

It's just, like... random.
Is she okay?

I mean, she will be.

Are you okay?

Yeah. Just tired.

We wanna know how a 16-year-old
can have access

to a military assault rifle,
and that's considered okay?

It's not okay!

We want change.

We deserve to feel safe
going to our own school every day...

It feels like so soon.
It's been like two weeks.

No, I hear you.
It's intense, but I just...

I don't want us to be ruled
by fear, you know?

I feel like it'll be less scary
if we were together.

- I gotta go.
- Okay, love you. Call me later.

Hey! Honey, can I come in?

You don't have
to ask to come in, Mom.

Okay.

So it sounds like
Nick's going back today, huh?

Yep. He is.

Well...

as long as you wanna stay home

you know, your dad
and I support that.

Thank you.

There's just one thing.

Were you tired a lot
before the incident?

LOL.

You called it "the incident."

No, I guess I'm just always tired.

I mean, I guess,
that's what caffeine is for.

Right?

What do you do when you get tired?

Sleep for, like, 14 hours straight.

I really like watching
early seasons of the Kardashians.

The OG Hidden Hills shit?

That is my vibe!

What's this? It's all...

I mean, you're just gonna fax
that to my mom or...

- Fax?
- Yes. Fax.

What are you,
a time traveler from the '80s?

I mean, I had my suspicions
when I saw those sneakers

but now I'm pretty convinced.

Touché.

Touché.

Look, I know that
this whole therapy thing is weird

and can be uncomfortable.

But everything that
you say in here is confidential.

And, side note, I actually
do really like your shoes.

They're very cool.

No, I know. Thank you.

Are there things
that you don't feel comfortable

talking to your parents about

that maybe you wanna share with me?

Yeah.

My porn addiction.

Okay.

I'm so sorry. I'm...

When I get nervous

I make really inappropriate jokes,
so, my bad.

You don't have to be sorry.

And you don't have to be nervous.

Well, I know that my parents
are worried about me

and they think I need help.

But I... I get it, and that's fine

but I personally am fine.

Like, I feel like I'm really good
at managing my emotions. It's...

What do you mean by that?

I'm just very chill.

A very low-key person.

So when it comes to
emotional stuff or drama

I'm, like,
"Okay, is this really productive?"

Yeah. I get it.

But you know, just because...

it doesn't necessarily mean
that someone's being dramatic

because they're emotional.

You know, for a lot of people

they need to fully experience
their emotions

in order to process
what they've been through

so that they can begin to heal.

It's actually really healthy
to show your emotion.

I know most people come in here
crying about their cheating husbands.

Vada, I wanna talk about you.

I wanna know how that shooting
at your school has made you feel.

I feel...

It's okay.

I mean, it makes sense.

I want you to track

how you're feeling
using this worksheet.

So there's questions on there
that'll guide you.

You don't have to overthink it

it's just basically there
to hold space for you

to understand whatever
emotions may come up.

All you have to do is try and feel.

That's it.
No matter what those feelings are.

Then you can bring it back
next session and we'll go through it.

Or, you know, you can fax it to me!
If that's easier for you.

She said you were incredibly bright
and smart and funny.

Wait, is she in love with me?

What's the point of goin' to therapy

if they're just gonna tell
their parents

everything they said after?

Honey, she didn't tell me anything.

She gave me a general assessment
of how the session went.

That's all.

She thought
you were doing really well

considering what you went through.

- Excuse me?
- Amelia!

She was on speakerphone.
It's not like I was trying to listen.

- I'm sorry.
- Whatever.

Do I need to go again?

Because it sounds like
she thinks everything is fine.

Well, I don't know, honey.

I mean, do you think
you're ready to go back to school?

Aren't you coming with us?

- No.
- Well, I don't know what you want.

- I don't know, turkey.
- Toasted?

I don't care, Mom!

We won't live our lives
scared to go to school every day.

We can't accept a world
in which the federal government

thinks American high school students

getting gunned down
in their classrooms

isn't a priority.

We won't accept that our leaders
have NRA money in their pockets

and our blood on their hands.

We want real change.

We want real leadership.

Honest politics that make our schools

a safe place for us
to learn and grow.

And we want it before it's too late.

Can I have some wine?

That was Nick Feinstein

one of the several
surviving students.

Does it get stuck on your fingers?

Yeah.

I don't know,
it's gonna be good, you know?

- You just gotta get in it, you know?
- Yeah, like that?

- It's the shoulders.
- It's all in the shoulders.

You can't do it
without the shoulders.

Okay, my bad.

Okay. I feel like that felt right.

- Yeah. Yeah, I think so.
- Like now it feels ready.

I think if you did it anymore,
it'd be overkill.

Okay...

- Where did it go?
- It wasn't enough.

No, you definitely
have to grind it way more.

- I need more?
- Little more.

Yeah. Stoner vibe.

It's gonna be good.

- So good?
- So good.

- Can't wait?
- Can't wait. Are you getting pumped?

Go...

This is it.

Look at us.

- Who'd have thought?
- Who'd have thought?

That is fat.

Why do you trust me?

'Cause you've smoked before.

- Okay. Not like too much.
- It's so thick.

Is it ever too much?

- We'll find out.
- Stoner thoughts.

Hey, did you just say

- "stoner thoughts"?
- Yes, I did!

It's kinda thick.

Curvy queen.

- So beautiful! Holy...
- She has curves.

- How do I...
- Do the honors.

- No, just... No.
- Do I...

Is this cigarette or is it like this?

- Cigarette? Weed?
- You choose.

- Weed? Cigarette? Weed?
- You choose...

Wait, other...

Okay. This is it.

Yo, it has gotten so bad though,
like so bad

to the point where they're cutting
the elephant tusks off

before they release them

so, like, the poachers
can't kill them.

So, it's like,
"Okay, they don't have tusks

but like at least, they're alive."
You know?

It's so messed up!

No, and then it makes me
think about... what's-his-name?

The Jimmy John's founder?

Apparently, he's like,
some trophy hunter.

But the thing about that one is, like

I don't know if I have the right
to be mad about that

'cause I don't know
if it's true or not.

So every time I see it,
I'm like, "Is this real?

Or is it, like, this fake news?"

Like, "Can I trust this meme?"

Can you be honest with me
for, like, 2.5 seconds?

Am I being annoying?

Because personally for me

I feel like this weed
is making me a little bit chatty.

Like I don't even feel sad
at this point, I'm just chatty.

I don't know, is that bad?
What about you, what do you feel?

I feel chill.

You always feel chill.

I feel nothing.

Fuck!

I hate weed.

- I hope that's not your dinner.
- Yep.

Vada.

Where's your sister?

Filming a nighttime routine
for her YouTube channel.

Don't ask.

Do you think
we should take her phone away?

No, but you should probably
get that app

where you can see
everything she does online.

That exists? Who knew?

Where we'd be without you?

So, Vada, honey, I was...

I wanted to talk to you about school.

What's up?

Well, I don't want you
to fall too far behind.

I won't.

- Well, you can't stay home forever.
- Why not?

Sure, I just think that
the longer you stay home

the harder it's gonna be
for you to go back.

All...

all I want is what's best for you.

I wanna see that sparkle back.

You know Amelia got her period?

What?

- When?
- Forever ago.

Guess she just didn't want you
to know.

My mom's tryin' to make me
go back to school.

Fuck.

When are you gonna go back?

I don't know.

My dads said I could do
homeschooling as long as I want.

Lucky you.

I'm gonna try and get some sleep.

Good night.

Night!

Get out of the building
and far away from it as you can.

Next, you need to find...

Always remember these three things.

That should be enough for today.

You can basically just review
your notes for the test.

Again, if I've talked about it,
it'll be on the test.

And guys, remember, I said,
"No phones during classes, please."

Shit.

You bitch.

You dumb fucking bitch.

It was a fucking soda can!

Dumb fucking stupid...

So today at PE,
Jack Booth was whopping the beanbag

and one hit me in the forearm

and the PE teacher saw it
and didn't say one word.

And I was, like

"Okay, you're terrible
at about your job."

I'm sure he's not terrible
at his job, Amelia.

Dad, he's protected by
union and tenure.

That's the only reason
he's still there.

How about you, Vada? How was...
how was your first day back?

Just low-key.

So, is everyone settling in okay?

I don't know, it's... it's heavy,

but I think everybody's
just tryin' to move on.

Good. That's good. I'm so glad.

Yeah, it's amazing.

- I'm so full.
- Finish your salad.

It's wilted.

It's good for you. Finish it.

I just can't do arugula, Dad.
It's the texture!

Hey.

Hey.

Do you have any E?

What?

How much do you want?

There's gonna be a quiz, okay?

May I go to the restroom?

Sure.

Okay, so make sure
that you are studying.

You have to know the difference.

I'm not gonna help you on this
when you have a pop...

quiz for this on Friday.

Nick.

Vada, Vada!

Oh, my God, Vada! Hey!

Hey... Vada, what'd you take?

I hate it here.

Vada, what are you doing?
Hey, what'd you take?

Hey, what's on your face?
Vada, come on!

- Spaghetti.
- No.

Hey, you need
to get your shit together

before someone sees you. Come on!

Ready? We're going. We're going!

We're going... Okay.

Is it at least a good high?

Is that an oboe?

Why's your mouth all blue?

Jesus, Millie, what do you want?

A pen exploded in my mouth.

That happened to me once, too,
but like it was a marker.

Good story. What do you want?

Nothing.

Motherfucker.

Shit.

Okay, so I guess you weren't playing.

What does that mean?

Let me read you this text.

"Q, I did drugs,"
with a Z, by the way.

That was the Z on the drugs.

"And I'm YOLOing hard.
Hit me up, honey.

Let's party."

And then you did this emoji,
and then this emoji

and then a hockey stick.

You just spammed... spammed emojis.

- No, I did not.
- Yeah... you did.

But now why'd you do the drugs,
with the Z?

Dude, I literally don't know.
So what had happened was...

is... I was walking past Dan Bonavure

and I was like, "Okay

I know he's a dealer.
I know he has E.

I'm gonna take
some, like, right now."

Oh, shit, okay.
And how're you feelin' now?

To be determined.

Well, I'm here if you need me.

What are you doing later?

'Cause I was just gonna be low-key

and, like, watch a movie
or something.

You should come by.

Okay. And I'll bring the acid.

Goodbye.

So, is he your boyfriend?

What are you making?

Slime. And don't avoid the question.
This is way too juicy.

You've literally never had a boy over
that was straight before.

Sorry...

I shouldn't assume
his sexual orientation.

So, like, how does he identify?

You're asking way too many questions.

Vada, you are gonna stay
in the living room, right?

No, I was thinking we're gonna
snuggle in the dark in my room.

- Yes, Mom!
- I was just asking.

Please don't embarrass me.

I'm serious, Amelia. Oh, my God.

No... don't go in the river!

- Why is he going in the river?
- I don't know.

This is the saddest shit...

- I have ever seen in my life.
- Oh, my God.

This is terrible!

This is so bad!
Why would they let kids watch this?

Yeah, you said you wanted
to watch this.

- I cannot... You picked this.
- You said this was your favorite

- movie as a kid. Come on.
- I gave you options.

- I gave you options...
- Come on.

- And you chose this one.
- What are you guys laughing at?

Amelia!

Sorry...

I just wanted to let you guys know
that the slime is almost ready.

If you wanna try it, I'll allow it.

- I love slime. I wanna try.
- Okay!

- Do you want blue or red?
- Blue, please.

Vada?

I... Red. I don't care.

Coming right up!

- I am so sorry.
- She's so cute.

Do you wanna watch The Staircase?

- Do you know what that is?
- What's The Staircase?

It's this white guy
who murders his second wife

and probably his first wife,
and gets away with both.

A tale as old as time.

- Tale as old as time, really?
- Yeah.

Wait, no, have you seen
the memes of, like, you know

all these women are obsessed
with these murder docs

people have, like, taken these photos
of the Stepford Wives

you know, with the smile,
with the knife?

- It's like...
- Nah, I haven't seen...

And it says, "Murder me, Daddy."

- Nah, I haven't seen that.
- You've never seen that?

It's everywhere.
Check your timeline, dude.

It's really funny.

Everything okay?

Is everything all right?

Yeah, I'm sorry.
I just have to go home right now.

I'm sorry, but you know,
family stuff.

Yeah, don't even apologize.
That's totally fine.

Yeah.

Honestly, I just can't believe
that you're gonna leave me alone

to watch this cat
flow down the river all by myself.

You're actually gonna finish it?

I have to!
I have to see what happens!

Okay, well, text me and let me know,
you know, what happens.

I hope everything's okay at home.

You know how it is.

Yeah.

I'll see you.

No...

- You don't trust me?
- No!

- You don't trust me?
- No, Mom!

You don't trust me?
You don't trust me?

- You don't trust...
- Stop...

No, now let me see
which one you have.

- No...
- Stop...

But this one,
I heard this would be better.

- That smells like strawberries.
- No, that's too...

No, smell...

- Disgusting, I know. Oh, God!
- You're so bad. No.

This one does smell good, though.
Just take a little sniff. Go on.

Jesus!

- V!
- What?

- Let me in!
- No.

You never lock the door.
What are you doing in there?

None of your business!

Are you wearing my lipstick?

What? No.

Can you tell Mom I don't need a ride?
Nick's gonna take me.

Only if you tell me
why you're wearing my lipstick.

I think those fake glasses
are messing with your vision, dude.

Well, you know,
everyone wears fake glasses now.

It's socially acceptable!

- Okay, wait, serious question.
- Okay.

Now Drake? Degrassi Drake? Choose.

I like wheelchair Drake.

Wheelchair Jimmy!

- Jimmy!
- Jimmy!

Jimmy!

Jimmy

You're, like, yodeling.

You probably didn't know
this about me

but I'm the best yodeler
in my family.

Prove it!

But you can't put me on the spot
like that

'cause then that's just like,
you know...

This is like, a little preview.

- Yeah, this is like warm-up.
- Okay.

You know, but I'm gonna get you
when you're not even ready.

And you're gonna be like...

Hey, you know, this might sound weird

'cause, like, I haven't known you
for that long

but, like,
I feel so comfortable with you.

Like, we're bonded or something.

Same.

When'd you lose your virginity?

I haven't.

- You haven't had sex?
- No.

Do you mean
you haven't had sex today?

What?

You dance like such a fuck princess!

What? No, I do not!

- Yes, you do!
- What does that even mean?

It means exactly
what it sounds like it means!

- You know, the fuck princess!
- Nah. No.

Okay, I get...

- Okay, that's on me.
- You never...

Never assume.

Wait, have you?

What?

Obviously not!

I am so awkward and, like

embarra... like, no!

Like, oh, my God!

I will say this.

I feel like high school sex
is very '90s.

Okay.

And waiting until college
is more now.

I mean, I feel like I'm probably
gonna wait until I'm, like, in love.

That's really sweet.

Or when you go on tour
with Drake one day.

You just let him have it.

What's "Wheelchair Jimmy" like
in bed?

What are you thinkin' about?

What?

Okay, I know you're a woman
of very little words...

but I know you got
some deep shit happening.

In this nice little head of yours.

Beep.

God.

Anything?

Okay.

Let's say this.
Let's say you die tomorrow.

Okay?

And what if you die sad

'cause you regret not saying
what you wanted to say?

Then what?

I can't say it.

Why?

Is this okay?

Where have you been?

We've been freaking out!

I was at Nick's.

Nick's been calling all morning
wondering where you were.

Vada, your phone was dead.

We didn't know if something terrible
had happened to you or...

I'm sorry. I'm fine.

The "perfect child" tells a fat one.

She better lose screen time
for that one, Dad.

Vada, come back here!

Vada!

I told you, you don't have to know!

- Vada.
- Vada, don't be rude.

Vada, what were you doing last night?

Nothing, Jesus!

Are you... are you seeing someone?

LOL, "seeing someone." No!

I'll do it...

If you're gonna be spending the night
at someone's house, Vada...

I'm not having sex, Mom!

- Okay.
- Oh, my God!

What are you doing?

Last night, I slept over
at my friend Mia's house

- and I got drunk.
- You got drunk?

Yeah, Mom, I got drunk.

I am 16 years old and I drink alcohol

and here's the thing,
I don't even like drinking.

I was just tryin' to live
in the moment

and feel shit,
and YOLO or something, okay?

So...

Now if you excuse me,
I am hungover as shit

and I'm gonna go barf in the shower.

Who's Mia?

Who's Mia?

I'm not even tryin' to be rude,
I'm just...

I'm super busy
and I don't have the time. So...

Okay.

I'm sorry I never called you back

but you didn't have to get me
in trouble, dude.

Vada, I was just worried about you.

When I didn't hear back from you,
I felt like I had to call your mom

'cause the last time I had seen you

you had literally done drugs
at school.

So I was like, "Okay, cool.
Maybe she's, like

having a serotonin drop from hell

and she's like suicidal
on a bridge somewhere and..."

Then to hear, like, how freaked
your family was all night, I just...

I don't know, I hoped that
whatever you went and did

was worth everything
you put them through.

But, you know what? I'm guessing

it's more likely
you were with Mia Reed somewhere

acting like nothing happened.

Why're you being like this?

Because I've waited for you, Vada.

For a month, I've given you
space and love to heal.

But I've been dealing with this
my own way!

You haven't dealt with anything,
that's the problem!

All I wanna do is try my hardest
to stop this

from ever happening again.

Like, why... why is that so hard
for you to understand?

That's not fucking fair, Nick.

None of this is fair, Vada.

Yeah, yeah. Go be with Mia.

She's gonna save the world
with her hot ass.

Fuck you, Nick.

Nice.

He's just hurtin',
I think we all are.

He was so cruel about it!

Yeah, but you know,
he's under a lot of pressure.

He has to be the face of this,
just act brave

but, well, he's scared, too.

You know, fear
makes people act crazy.

Hey, I...

Like, I'm sorry for, like

calling you and dumping
all of this on you

especially because it's been
the hardest on you.

It's hard on everyone.

I think for me, you know,
when it hurts too much

I think about
how this can't be for nothing.

Like, we won't even let
this be for not... Like, it...

It can't be for nothing, you know?

Fuck. Yeah.

Tell me about your brother.

I just wanna know more about him.

He was real quiet
when you first met him.

He watched everything now, you know.

Like, he'd be like, "Oh, that girl
is gonna go home with that guy

and that guy is gonna go home
with that girl and..."

Like, he was always right.

He was funny.
Like, always making me laugh.

He...

he sounds dope.

I feel him.

Now I know this sounds crazy
to say, like...

I just... I know he's still with me.

He's not gonna
let me go back and be sad

he's not gonna let me go forward
and freak out.

He keeps me here. He keeps me calm.

I think he's definitely still here.

Lot of people don't ask me about him.

They think
I'm-a like, cry or somethin'.

Well, thank you.

You can always talk about him
around me.

- Wait... I'm sorry, I...
- What's wrong?

I'm just going through a lot
right now, it's just...

I just don't know

if I'm in the right headspace
right now.

- I'm sorry.
- Oh, my God.

- I am so sorry!
- No, you're okay.

I'm... No, of course, you are.

I'm so sorry.

V, I swear,
you didn't do anything wrong.

- I'm so sorry. I am so sorry, okay?
- No, don't be sorry, it's...

- It's not like that.
- I am so sorry.

I can't sleep.

You know, I can always see
where you are on Find A Friend

when your phone isn't dead.

You better delete me off of that.

Like, tomorrow

so I don't tell Mom
about your Finsta.

Fine!

- Why do you care where I am?
- I don't.

You're always at a house
in North Bay.

Why?

It's where my friend Mia lives.

- V... I'm scared.
- Of what?

What if...

what if a shooter comes
to my school next?

- It won't happen.
- How do you know?

Sorry, I almost got you
killed in a shooting.

What are you talking about?

If I hadn't texted you
about my stupid period

you wouldn't have left the classroom.

You would've been safe.

- You could've died.
- That's not true.

Yes, it is!

Quinton's brother died

'cause he was walking
in the same hallway.

It wasn't safe anywhere.

Definitely wasn't your fault.

Then why have you been
so mad at me?

I haven't been mad at you.

Why do you keep thinking that?

Because...

you're never home anymore.
You never talk to me.

We never went to dinner
to talk about... periods.

I'm sorry, but I'm definitely
not mad at you.

Can I tell you something
that I've not told anybody before?

We were in the bathroom.

And the stall where we hid...

there was a moment where I...

really thought I was gonna die.

And it was
the scariest moment of my life.

And the only person
I could think of was you.

Do you remember when I sent you
that "I love you too"?

I thought I only had time to text
one person, so I texted you.

I didn't know that.

You're my favorite person
on earth, Millie.

Even if you get married one day?

No. Fuck a husband.

You're my number one.

Don't let go.

I don't know what's wrong with me.

- Nothing is wrong with you.
- Dad, I...

I feel so... empty.

Vada, you went through something

no one should ever have
to go through.

I can't imagine how scared you feel.

Life's fuckin' hard.

- I'm sorry for saying "fucking."
- No, you're right.

Life's fucking hard!

Dad.

What? No one's around.
Try it, it feels good.

Life is fucking crazy!

Yeah!

Fuck!

Life's fucking confusing!

I can't fucking feel anything!

Good one.

Fuck you, Matt Corgan!

Yeah, fuck you!

I'm scared to go to school every day!

I'm scared
to take my children to school!

I'm scared to sleep!

I'm scared of... time!

We're not even swearing anymore, Dad.

Still feels good.

I'm incredibly proud

of how smart
and amazing my daughter is!

Dad, don't be fucking cheesy!

Please!

Never again.

Mia?

Mia?

Oh, my God!

Mia?

Mia?

My God.

I'm just sweating out.

I thought you were
fucking dead, dude.

Don't scare me like that.

Come on...

Do you hate me?

No. Why would I hate you?

Just scared the shit out of me.

And I don't regret it.

Just scared it was gonna, like,
ruin our friendship or something.

Yeah, I was scared of that too.

Then let's not ruin anything?

Okay.

I think I'm gonna go
back to dance tomorrow.

Even though I'm, like, literally
scared to leave my house

I know I need to do it.

That's amazing. You totally should.

Well, what are you gonna do?

I'm gonna go with you.

No, you're not.

- We never discussed this.
- Stop trying to get rid of me!

I am Postmating us frozen yogurt.

I think I actually want some.

Okay, then push.

I like the doodles.

Who's that guy? Is that Harry Potter?

That's Paul Dano.
He's my celebrity crush.

How was this?

Processing through
all these emotions?

Good.

I had a lot of ups and downs

but I feel like I felt everything.

So that's... it's good, I guess.

I noticed that you used
the word "scared" a few times.

When did you feel the most scared?

Being at school.

I don't feel comfortable
being back there.

Can you tell me more about that?

You know, all these kids
from my school

specifically one of
my closest friends, Nick

who I love so much...

they've been able to take...

what happened, and...

are literally using it
to change the world.

Like, they're doing so much
amazing stuff, and...

for some reason,
I feel like I'm unable to do that.

I feel like it has kind of ended
our friendship.

Sucks.

'Cause I really, really miss him.

What are you feeling right now?

I don't know.

Yes, you do.

I feel...

mad.

Mad about what?

I feel mad, because I had no idea
one guy with a gun

could fuck up my life so hard
in six minutes.

Fuck up so many lives!

Then I think I should be
grateful to be alive.

I feel like, I don't know,
maybe there's some

weird fucked up reason why I made it
and other people didn't.

But then when you sit back

and you think about it,
you realize, "No!"

There isn't.

There's no fucking reason.

None of us should've died.

I'm having
a really hard time moving on.

Oh, hi.

I'm sorry.

I love you.

Sweetheart, I love you, too.

I'm gonna try to be more honest
with you about my life.

You know what?
I would really, really like that.

I've been really struggling.

And I don't know why it's been
so hard to tell you, like

'cause I just didn't want you
to worry.

And you're right, I was acting funny
that time I was drunk

because I did have sex with someone.

And I was a little bit stoned

but not as stoned as I was
when I was on E.

Jesus, that was rough.

And the person I was having sex
with wasn't the person

that I thought I was maybe
gonna be having sex with, but I'm...

I'm telling you all of this

because I want you to know
that I'm...

I'm never gonna do
any of that stuff ever again.

You know, the bad stuff.

Okay. Well, thank you for...

for trusting me...
with this information.

- Was that too much?
- No!

I am...

I'm processing.

Don't worry, it was with a girl.

The sex stuff.

It was with a girl

so it's not like
I'm gonna get pregnant.

That's a bonus, right?

Yeah. Bonus.

Okay.

I'm... I'm ready
to talk about it more now.