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1
00:00:00,958 --> 00:00:01,958
[hyena laughing]
2
00:00:02,041 --> 00:00:03,211
- [hics]
3
00:00:06,750 --> 00:00:08,830
[merry music playing]
4
00:00:09,708 --> 00:00:10,918
- Ooh!
5
00:00:13,125 --> 00:00:15,285
- Just... stay put!
- [electricity crackles]
6
00:00:15,375 --> 00:00:17,785
- Hey, that's what
I call teamwork.
7
00:00:17,833 --> 00:00:20,333
- Lhandi... [chuckles]
...I'm a tool.
8
00:00:20,375 --> 00:00:22,285
- Keep it up, pals.
- [laughs]
9
00:00:22,333 --> 00:00:23,673
- Stop squirming.
10
00:00:23,708 --> 00:00:25,828
- Well, do a firm touch
and not a tickle touch.
11
00:00:25,875 --> 00:00:27,705
- Danny, my man, up top.
12
00:00:27,750 --> 00:00:30,630
- Your enthusiasm is
disgustingly infectious, Lhandi.
13
00:00:30,666 --> 00:00:34,246
- [chuckles] And I love making
you sick. [imitates barfing]
14
00:00:34,291 --> 00:00:37,131
- That's...
All right, thank you.
15
00:00:38,375 --> 00:00:40,205
- [sighs] Okay.
16
00:00:40,250 --> 00:00:43,670
[rock music playing]
17
00:00:43,708 --> 00:00:46,498
- [Onorato speaking]
18
00:00:46,583 --> 00:00:47,713
- Hey, Onorato, I'm just, um...
19
00:00:47,750 --> 00:00:49,080
- [Onorato speaking]
20
00:00:49,125 --> 00:00:50,745
- Oh, I... Um, I'm just
grabbing some towels.
21
00:00:50,833 --> 00:00:52,083
- [Onorato speaking]
22
00:00:52,125 --> 00:00:54,035
- What are you listening to
in there?
23
00:00:54,125 --> 00:00:55,495
- [Onorato speaking]
24
00:00:55,583 --> 00:00:57,083
- You should write a list
of music that you listen to
25
00:00:57,125 --> 00:00:58,375
and give it to me,
I'd love to check it out.
26
00:00:58,458 --> 00:01:00,168
- [Onorato speaking]
27
00:01:00,250 --> 00:01:02,830
- Yeah, that's not right.
I can educate myself.
28
00:01:02,916 --> 00:01:06,576
Oh, I'm gonna walk
out of the room backwards.
29
00:01:06,625 --> 00:01:07,665
Look at me go backwards!
30
00:01:07,708 --> 00:01:09,168
- [Onorato speaking]
31
00:01:09,250 --> 00:01:11,580
- I'll put it back up, I'll put
it back up. I'll put it back up.
32
00:01:12,625 --> 00:01:14,075
- Wait, no!
Please don't eat me, all right?
33
00:01:14,166 --> 00:01:15,916
I'll give you anything,
I'll give you my...
34
00:01:15,958 --> 00:01:19,208
I don't have anything.
All right, let's do it.
35
00:01:19,250 --> 00:01:20,580
Let's do...
36
00:01:20,666 --> 00:01:26,916
[theme music playing]
37
00:01:28,708 --> 00:01:29,668
- Aah! Ooh.
38
00:01:29,750 --> 00:01:31,000
- Looking good, you two.
39
00:01:31,041 --> 00:01:32,881
Keep it up.
40
00:01:32,916 --> 00:01:34,536
- Uh, you know,
it doesn't matter what I do,
41
00:01:34,583 --> 00:01:36,793
I just don't think Onorato
likes me very much.
42
00:01:36,875 --> 00:01:38,415
- Oh, come on, that's not true.
43
00:01:38,458 --> 00:01:40,578
- Then why does everyone else
have a cool picture with Onorato
44
00:01:40,625 --> 00:01:42,575
up on the party picture wall
and I don't?
45
00:01:42,666 --> 00:01:44,496
- Don't you? The--
There you are.
46
00:01:44,541 --> 00:01:47,381
Hey, right there.
- That's a broom.
47
00:01:48,166 --> 00:01:49,956
- Is it? Is that not...
48
00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:52,380
But that... You know what,
that's his favorite broom.
49
00:01:52,416 --> 00:01:55,786
So, uh, don't overthink it.
Onorato's a tough nut to crack.
50
00:01:55,833 --> 00:01:58,583
Sometimes a friendship
just needs a solid story
51
00:01:58,666 --> 00:02:00,916
with just a hint of trauma.
52
00:02:00,958 --> 00:02:02,958
- [rock music playing]
- [Jep gasps]
53
00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:04,710
- You can't build
a good friendship glue
54
00:02:04,750 --> 00:02:06,580
without killing
a few trauma horses.
55
00:02:06,666 --> 00:02:09,036
- Yeah, that's interesting.
56
00:02:09,083 --> 00:02:10,583
- Sorry, what's going on
right now, are you...
57
00:02:10,625 --> 00:02:12,415
You're concocting something?
- What? No.
58
00:02:12,500 --> 00:02:14,250
Me? No! [chuckles]
- I can see your wheels spin.
59
00:02:14,291 --> 00:02:17,331
- I was just thinking, "Hey,
if a dog and a cat got married
60
00:02:17,375 --> 00:02:18,785
who would officiate
that wedding?"
61
00:02:18,833 --> 00:02:22,213
- Whimsical answer.
Hmm. Tracks for me.
62
00:02:22,291 --> 00:02:23,831
- Yeah, okay.
63
00:02:23,875 --> 00:02:28,245
- A wise old tortoise,
with a little cane.
64
00:02:28,291 --> 00:02:32,131
Yeah, that's good, Lhandi,
very good.
65
00:02:32,166 --> 00:02:33,826
Maybe he'd wear a hat.
- Lhandi?
66
00:02:33,875 --> 00:02:35,125
- Huh? Who?
67
00:02:35,166 --> 00:02:36,626
- You've been sitting here
for four hours.
68
00:02:36,666 --> 00:02:38,456
- Right, yeah.
- Talking about a wedding.
69
00:02:38,500 --> 00:02:39,750
- Yeah.
- A cat and dog wedding.
70
00:02:39,791 --> 00:02:42,331
- I've got to get
a glass of water.
71
00:02:43,708 --> 00:02:44,828
[hyena laughing]
72
00:02:44,875 --> 00:02:46,165
[grunts]
73
00:02:46,208 --> 00:02:49,878
Onorato, uh, ca-can you come
help me change a keg?
74
00:02:50,583 --> 00:02:51,793
- [Onorato speaking]
75
00:02:51,833 --> 00:02:54,633
- Yeah, it's just
weak Lhandi over here.
76
00:02:54,666 --> 00:02:56,876
- And enter stage right!
Give me all your money.
77
00:02:56,958 --> 00:03:01,128
See, I gotta zip zap
out of here with a fat sack.
78
00:03:01,208 --> 00:03:03,628
- Oh, God! Please sir,
79
00:03:03,708 --> 00:03:05,538
please, you can take
anything you want,
80
00:03:05,625 --> 00:03:07,575
just don't hurt me or my friend.
81
00:03:07,625 --> 00:03:08,955
- Come here, mum.
82
00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:11,960
Ah! Ha! Whoo! Eh! [exclaims]
- Whoa... [whimpers]
83
00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:13,080
- Haha.
84
00:03:13,125 --> 00:03:14,035
- Oh!
85
00:03:14,083 --> 00:03:15,503
- [groans]
86
00:03:16,791 --> 00:03:18,291
- Onorato, no!
87
00:03:18,333 --> 00:03:19,753
- [Onorato speaking]
88
00:03:19,791 --> 00:03:23,041
- He was an actor. I... I paid
him to pretend to rob us.
89
00:03:23,125 --> 00:03:25,495
[stutters] It wasn't real.
90
00:03:26,833 --> 00:03:29,213
- [Onorato speaking]
91
00:03:29,291 --> 00:03:32,331
- [stutters] No, no, it wasn't
a sex thing for me.
92
00:03:32,375 --> 00:03:36,165
I... I thought that if we went
through something tough together
93
00:03:36,250 --> 00:03:38,330
that you'd like me more.
94
00:03:39,333 --> 00:03:44,713
- [Onorato speaking]
95
00:03:44,750 --> 00:03:47,290
- I don't know, I thought it
would be like a charming ruse,
96
00:03:47,375 --> 00:03:49,665
but... No.
- [Onorato speaking]
97
00:03:49,708 --> 00:03:50,578
- Mm-hmm.
98
00:03:50,666 --> 00:03:54,416
- [Onorato speaking]
99
00:03:54,458 --> 00:03:56,038
- I... I can help if you want.
100
00:03:56,125 --> 00:04:00,285
- [Onorato speaking]
101
00:04:00,333 --> 00:04:02,463
- Uh... He's falling, yeah,
it's slipping.
102
00:04:02,500 --> 00:04:03,540
- [Onorato speaking]
103
00:04:03,583 --> 00:04:04,883
- I can... [panting]
104
00:04:04,916 --> 00:04:07,376
- [Onorato speaking]
105
00:04:07,458 --> 00:04:09,328
- Uh... I'll... I'll fix it.
106
00:04:09,375 --> 00:04:10,415
- [Onorato speaking]
107
00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:12,830
- Yeah, I know, I see that.
108
00:04:17,458 --> 00:04:20,288
Hey, hey. I...
I made this diorama of us.
109
00:04:20,375 --> 00:04:24,995
[mumbles] That's you and that's
me and this piece of lint
110
00:04:25,041 --> 00:04:27,921
represents my supreme
guilt and regret.
111
00:04:27,958 --> 00:04:29,748
- Cute.
- Yeah. [chuckles softly]
112
00:04:29,791 --> 00:04:34,211
- [Onorato speaking]
113
00:04:34,250 --> 00:04:38,290
[Onorato speaking]
114
00:04:38,333 --> 00:04:39,673
- [sighs]
115
00:04:39,750 --> 00:04:42,130
- Roto, buddy,
you've gotta give her a break.
116
00:04:42,166 --> 00:04:43,536
She feels terrible.
117
00:04:43,625 --> 00:04:46,535
Plus, she's not great
when people are mad at her.
118
00:04:46,583 --> 00:04:48,503
[munches]
119
00:04:48,541 --> 00:04:49,961
- LHANDI: Hey, Onorato.
120
00:04:50,041 --> 00:04:53,581
Look at these little worms,
they represent... Ow! Ow!
121
00:04:53,625 --> 00:04:56,325
- [Onorato speaking]
122
00:04:56,375 --> 00:04:57,535
- No...
No, don't go back there.
123
00:04:57,625 --> 00:04:59,535
- [Onorato speaking]
124
00:04:59,625 --> 00:05:03,035
- Oh, oh! Shit. No,
that wasn't... I didn't do it.
125
00:05:03,083 --> 00:05:05,133
I didn't, Lhandi...
Lhandi, get in here!
126
00:05:05,166 --> 00:05:06,786
- Oh, God,
did he find the broom?
127
00:05:06,833 --> 00:05:09,043
- [Onorato speaking]
- [whimpers]
128
00:05:09,125 --> 00:05:11,245
I don't know why
I put it in here.
129
00:05:17,125 --> 00:05:19,495
- [grunts, exclaims]
130
00:05:19,541 --> 00:05:21,751
- Yeah, good job, baby.
131
00:05:21,791 --> 00:05:22,881
- [exclaims]
132
00:05:22,916 --> 00:05:25,126
- Oh, shit.
- Sterling Oswald.
133
00:05:25,208 --> 00:05:27,958
Agent to the most bookable
roster of actors
134
00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:31,380
this horrible, disgusting
wasteland has ever seen.
135
00:05:31,416 --> 00:05:32,786
My card.
136
00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:35,333
- Oh, you almost gave me a heart
attack, man, what the fuck?
137
00:05:35,375 --> 00:05:38,535
- One of my precious
little actors has disappeared.
138
00:05:38,583 --> 00:05:41,633
[gasps] Oh, no!
And according to my records,
139
00:05:41,708 --> 00:05:44,458
his last gig was right here
on The Oasis.
140
00:05:44,541 --> 00:05:47,041
- Right. Well, we don't know
anything about that, man.
141
00:05:47,083 --> 00:05:49,333
We sort of...
We don't like actors
142
00:05:49,375 --> 00:05:51,125
so we wouldn't have one around.
143
00:05:51,166 --> 00:05:53,326
- I've lost one of my clients,
144
00:05:53,375 --> 00:05:58,575
and I'm not going anywhere
until I am properly compensated.
145
00:05:58,625 --> 00:06:02,245
- Holy hell, you can just say
any of this stuff normal, man.
146
00:06:02,291 --> 00:06:03,831
How much are we
talking about here?
147
00:06:03,916 --> 00:06:08,456
- [laughs] You can't just pay me
off. Am I right, Ricardo?
148
00:06:08,541 --> 00:06:09,831
- Can't help but notice that
149
00:06:09,875 --> 00:06:11,535
both of them are responding
to Ricardo.
150
00:06:11,625 --> 00:06:12,995
- Okay, I won't be leaving
151
00:06:13,041 --> 00:06:16,751
until I sign another actor
to my roster.
152
00:06:16,791 --> 00:06:18,501
It's a pretty standard contract.
153
00:06:18,583 --> 00:06:20,963
I take 10% of your earnings
and you are...
154
00:06:21,041 --> 00:06:23,831
♪ Mine for the rest
of your pathetic little lives ♪
155
00:06:23,875 --> 00:06:25,495
- That's a lot of stuff
in under the...
156
00:06:25,541 --> 00:06:27,041
- I'll do it.
- What?
157
00:06:27,083 --> 00:06:29,213
Did you hear the part
that he sang at the end there?
158
00:06:29,291 --> 00:06:30,711
- I am Ricardo now.
159
00:06:30,791 --> 00:06:33,171
- Oh, God, another Ricardo.
160
00:06:33,208 --> 00:06:35,288
Jesus Christ,
is there anybody else?
161
00:06:35,375 --> 00:06:37,125
- Oh!
- Oh, okay, okay.
162
00:06:37,166 --> 00:06:39,626
I guess I could see you
as some kind of...
163
00:06:39,666 --> 00:06:41,876
- Kinda busy.
- ...asexual neighbor woman.
164
00:06:41,958 --> 00:06:43,708
- Okay.
- Okay, this will have to do.
165
00:06:43,750 --> 00:06:46,750
- The sexless neighbor?
Okay, I'll take it. [chuckles]
166
00:06:46,791 --> 00:06:50,081
- [Onorato speaking]
167
00:06:50,166 --> 00:06:52,786
- [gasps] What? Who's this?
168
00:06:52,833 --> 00:06:54,043
Rippling muscles,
169
00:06:54,083 --> 00:06:56,383
a natural inclination
toward a headband.
170
00:06:56,458 --> 00:06:59,038
Umh! If I slap some bangs
on that forehead,
171
00:06:59,083 --> 00:07:01,793
I've got a red hot star
all over my hands.
172
00:07:01,875 --> 00:07:03,205
- Oh, God!
173
00:07:03,250 --> 00:07:05,040
- Okay, I'm going to draw up
the appropriate papers.
174
00:07:05,083 --> 00:07:07,543
You say goodbye to your little
community theater friends
175
00:07:07,625 --> 00:07:09,125
because by morning...
176
00:07:09,166 --> 00:07:12,326
♪ You'll be mine! ♪
177
00:07:12,375 --> 00:07:14,165
Ricardos, let's go.
178
00:07:14,208 --> 00:07:16,628
- [groaning]
- [rock music playing]
179
00:07:17,666 --> 00:07:19,956
- Jesus Christ!
180
00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:22,380
- JEP:
What a degrading profession.
181
00:07:22,416 --> 00:07:24,416
- Onorato, why did you do that?
182
00:07:24,500 --> 00:07:26,540
You can't leave,
we need you here.
183
00:07:26,583 --> 00:07:31,423
- [Onorato speaking]
184
00:07:39,166 --> 00:07:41,376
[Onorato speaking]
185
00:07:41,458 --> 00:07:44,078
[engine starting]
186
00:07:44,916 --> 00:07:46,916
[grunts, gasps]
187
00:07:48,250 --> 00:07:50,330
- What the hell
are you doing, Lhandi?
188
00:07:50,375 --> 00:07:51,745
- Look, I can't let Roto
189
00:07:51,833 --> 00:07:54,463
sacrifice himself to the life
of an actor, Danny.
190
00:07:54,500 --> 00:07:56,790
I would rather that he hates me
for the rest of time
191
00:07:56,875 --> 00:07:59,205
than have him taken away
from us.
192
00:07:59,291 --> 00:08:01,291
- XANTHENA: Danny,
you'd better get out here.
193
00:08:01,333 --> 00:08:03,423
- God damn it. Okay.
194
00:08:03,500 --> 00:08:05,830
- [actors laughing, exclaiming]
195
00:08:09,916 --> 00:08:12,166
- [speaks indistinctly, grunts]
196
00:08:18,708 --> 00:08:20,828
- Enter, Ricardo.
197
00:08:20,916 --> 00:08:22,126
- The cat!
198
00:08:24,166 --> 00:08:28,036
- [exclaims] Thought you could
prance away, did you?
199
00:08:28,083 --> 00:08:31,673
Well, I'm not gonna be
nice, nice boy anymore.
200
00:08:31,708 --> 00:08:33,628
♪ Get him, thespians! ♪
201
00:08:33,666 --> 00:08:35,666
- You're like penny
to a punch!
202
00:08:35,708 --> 00:08:36,828
- [groaning]
203
00:08:36,875 --> 00:08:38,665
- Danny! [grunts]
204
00:08:40,041 --> 00:08:41,711
- [groans]
205
00:08:42,833 --> 00:08:44,713
- [grunts]
- [screams]
206
00:08:44,791 --> 00:08:45,791
- [groans]
207
00:08:45,875 --> 00:08:47,285
- [groans]
208
00:08:47,333 --> 00:08:49,793
- [grunts]
- [grunts, groaning]
209
00:08:51,291 --> 00:08:52,211
- [grunting]
210
00:08:52,291 --> 00:08:53,881
- Hup... Unh-huh.
211
00:08:53,916 --> 00:08:55,166
- [choking]
212
00:08:55,208 --> 00:08:58,918
- [grunts] Yah! Unh! [pants]
213
00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:02,880
- Ah! You'd have made
such beautiful pictures.
214
00:09:02,916 --> 00:09:04,746
- [gasps]
215
00:09:04,833 --> 00:09:07,583
- [Onorato speaking]
216
00:09:09,958 --> 00:09:11,248
- [claps]
217
00:09:11,333 --> 00:09:14,463
Bravo, team, bravo!
218
00:09:14,541 --> 00:09:15,671
- What?
- Yes!
219
00:09:15,708 --> 00:09:17,708
- [Onorato speaking]
220
00:09:17,750 --> 00:09:21,250
- You see, Lhandi's initial plan
wasn't necessarily a bad one,
221
00:09:21,291 --> 00:09:23,041
she just
shouldn't have been involved.
222
00:09:23,083 --> 00:09:25,463
Plus, these guys...
These are actors!
223
00:09:25,500 --> 00:09:28,080
[laughs] I was actually scared
at one point, I was like,
224
00:09:28,166 --> 00:09:29,746
"Did they remember
that they weren't actually
225
00:09:29,833 --> 00:09:30,963
supposed to hurt us?"
226
00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:32,170
They're tame as bark. Aah!
227
00:09:32,250 --> 00:09:33,750
- Oh, my God, thank you so much.
228
00:09:33,833 --> 00:09:35,213
I am merely a vessel, you know.
229
00:09:35,250 --> 00:09:38,250
We're aching to contain
the spirit of the stage.
230
00:09:38,291 --> 00:09:40,171
- Cool, man, really cool.
231
00:09:40,208 --> 00:09:42,828
- So you... you've been lying
to us this whole time?
232
00:09:42,875 --> 00:09:44,455
- What? Yeah, no, I just said.
233
00:09:44,541 --> 00:09:46,881
- [Jep screaming]
- [all gasping, groaning]
234
00:09:46,958 --> 00:09:50,418
- Jep, stop!
Jesus, it was fake, Jep.
235
00:09:50,458 --> 00:09:53,288
We went over this.
They're actors!
236
00:09:53,333 --> 00:09:54,463
- Oh!
237
00:09:54,500 --> 00:09:56,250
That was this!
238
00:09:56,333 --> 00:09:59,213
Well, in my defense, I mean,
this is a very eventful bar.
239
00:09:59,250 --> 00:10:00,630
[rock music playing]
240
00:10:00,666 --> 00:10:01,956
- [Onorato grunts]
- [Lhandi laughs]
241
00:10:02,041 --> 00:10:03,711
I don't know
if I could play asexual.
242
00:10:03,750 --> 00:10:07,000
I know I have kind of a teen
energy that wouldn't work. Yes.
243
00:10:07,041 --> 00:10:08,251
- [Onorato speaking]
244
00:10:08,291 --> 00:10:10,251
- Thanks, no,
I feel okay about it.
245
00:10:10,291 --> 00:10:12,421
- Well, good news is
they've forgiven us
246
00:10:12,458 --> 00:10:13,918
for the whole shooting incident.
247
00:10:13,958 --> 00:10:15,378
Bad news is...
- [giggling]
248
00:10:15,416 --> 00:10:16,746
- You guys listening to me?
249
00:10:16,791 --> 00:10:18,921
- Did you, uh...
Did you hear something, Onorato?
250
00:10:18,958 --> 00:10:20,418
- [Onorato speaking]
251
00:10:20,458 --> 00:10:23,538
- Okay, I see what you're doing.
No problem.
252
00:10:23,583 --> 00:10:24,753
I can handle that.
253
00:10:24,791 --> 00:10:26,921
- I'm sorry
about the broom thing.
254
00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:31,540
- Put my figure back in
the middle of the diorama now!
255
00:10:31,625 --> 00:10:36,075
[theme music playing]
256
00:10:36,125 --> 00:10:40,675
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