All language subtitles for Bliss.(1997).

[ Bell Tolling ]

[ Bird Screeches ]

[ Sighs ]

There's some things
I never told you about Maria.

Save the details till
after the honeymoon, homeboy.

[ Liquid Pouring ]

She has some problems.

Daddy, I think there's
a snap undone. Would you--
Would you take a look?

I don't think so, honey.
Are you sure?

[ Sighs ]
I'm not feeling very well.

Of course you don't, honey.
You're getting married.
Get used to it.

-[ Paper Rustles ]
-[ Sighs ]

Here we go.

She's a bit, compulsive.

Maybe I should say
compulsive and neurotic.

Yeah, I know.
She's Maria.

She sleeps with a flyswatter.

Hell, if I looked like Maria,
I'd sleep with a bazooka.

So you guys
got some issues.

It's called modern romance.

If you need it,
there's an ice chest
under your mother's seat.

I'm okay.
I feel better now.

[ Gagging ]

[ Whimpers ]

Careful of your dress, dear.

She, uh-- She cleans the house
twice a day on her day off.

Yeah, well,
at least she works.

We get to go to all those
great magazine parties.

Hey, remember Claudia
from the Elle party?
Oh, oh, man.

She's always locking
the bathroom door and--

She gets suicidal
from time to time.

All women get suicidal
from time to time.

God, I love her.

[ Seagull Screeches ]

[ Ship Horn Blowing ]

[ Seagull Screeches ]

So how long have you
known all of this?

They just sort of creep up
on you, you know? One by one.

-And before you know it--
-I say, don't panic.

It's probably just a phase.

-[ Bell Tolling ]
-Yeah.

Yeah.

[ Woman ] Here she is.

[ Chattering ]

-You guys are awfully late.
-We're supposed to be late.

-[ Maria ] Mom,
you got my train?
-[ Dottie ] I got it, dear.

[ Hank ] Come on, darling.
[Dottie ] I still think that
dress is too tight.

[ Man ] I require and charge
you both as you will answer
on the day of judgment,

when the secrets of all hearts
will be disclosed,

that if either of you know
any impediment,

why you may not be lawfully
joined together in matrimony,

do now confess it.

[ Maria ]
How much do you love me?

Oh, a thousand.

Only a thousand?
That's not very much.

I can even count
to a thousand.
One, two, three, four--

Okay, a hundred thousand
million billion.

That's better.
We're gonna be late
for Alfred.

Yeah, but I love the reason.
Besides, my Juliet,

wilt thou leave me
so unsatisfied?

How much satisfaction
can'st thou get in,
11 minutes?

I'll be nicer in therapy.

How about the issues
we were discussing last time?

[ Maria ]
Things are still the same.

He's not nice to my friends
or my parents.

He's cheap.
He flirts, and he has
a terrible temper.

But I'm a loving,
tolerant woman, so--

Oh, that feels so good.

[ Moans ]

She keeps bugging me
to build another room
onto the house.

We don't have
any money, so--

It would, of course,
put his car

out in the driveway
for a couple of months.

Okay, okay.

Yes. Yeah.

Oh, right there.
Right there. Yes.

Maria, why is this
new addition to the house
so important to you?

-Because I wanna have a baby.
-[ Sighs ]

[ Gasping ]
Go deeper.

With all this
talk about a baby,
how's the sex?

You go first.

-You want me to?
-Sure. Why not?

Okay.

Um--
[ Clears Throat ] Tsk.

I-I have a confession to make.

Um, I fake my orgasms.

Oh! Oh! Oh!

-You what?
-I didn't wanna tell you.

I didn't want to hurt you.

[ Joseph ] You're telling me
you've never had an orgasm?

Not with you.

[ Alfred ] Joseph,
it's important you
appreciate the risk,

Maria's taking in
communicating this to you.

Joseph?

[ Alarm Clock Ringing ]

[ Alarm Stops ]

Maria?

Do you think
I'm a lousy lover?

Hmm?

Joseph?

I love you, you know.

-Whoa!
-Tell the balcony crew
those doors are in.

Yo, Nick, you must have
fucked up big.

-We is humbled by youse
royal presence, Sir Suits.
-Relax, Carlos.

Yo, Nick, I go out on a limb
to get you this job,
like I always do--

Oh, I wouldn't work
without you, Joseph,
my white patron saint.

Well, thank you, Nick,
but the problem is,

we're about four months behind
after two months on the job.

You geniuses
made the schedule.
I just took the job.

-Hey, Nick, what's this?
-Oh, yeah, go ahead, Tanner.
Take a look.

-Yeah?
-It's a little discovery
of Carlos' here.

-Every hour on the hour.
-Holy shit! Oh, man!

This is unbelievable.
You gotta check this out.
This is unbelievable.

Must be the redhead.

-[ Chuckling ]
-[ Tanner ] Oh, man.

Mmm-hmm!

[ Tanner ] Ooh!

You guys are perverts.

Are you kiddin'?
This guy's a national
treasure. One of a kind.

-Holy shit!
-What do you mean?

This guy has anywhere from
four to six women a day,
one after the other.

[ Nick ]
And word has it he pleases
every one of 'em.

-Joseph, take a look.
-No, I can see just fine.

Oh, my God!
Here comes another one.

[ Tanner ]
I don't believe it. They just
passed each other and said hi.

They said hi to each other.

-Oh, Jesus.
-Tanner.

-Yeah?
-Let's check out the site.

-All right, Joseph,
I am. I am.
-Tanner!

-It's gotta be an implant.
-An implant?

Yeah, an implant, you know.
A lot of guys got 'em.
It comes with a pump.

You just pump it up,
and it just stays there,
you know, whenever you need it

-Sounds like a good idea.
-Yeah, I gotta talk
to that guy.

That red-head was to die for.
Oh, man, I wanna die.

-Tanner?
-Yeah?

Does Vicky have orgasms?

-What?
-You know, does she--

Does she come when you're
doin' it, or does she fake it?

What? No!
Of course, she has orgasms.

I mean, man, she goes crazy.

How do you know?
I mean,
she could be fakin' it.

You can tell. I mean,
they quiver all over.

Believe me,
they quiver all over
even when they're fakin' it.

Shut the fuck up, would ya?

[ Insect Buzzing ]

-Come on, Freddie,
you little bugger.
-[ Buzzing Continues ]

-Would you help me
with my tie, sweetheart?
-Out, baby. Get out.

Maria, we're gonna be late.

Freddie listened to me.
Can you believe it?
He just flew out the window.

-How do you know it's a he?
-Because it bugs me, darling,
so it must be a he.

How do I look?
Do I have lipstick
on my tooth?

Honey, every time we come
see your parents, you obsess
over the way you look.

Is my dress, okay?
Do I need to pull it down
or anything?

You look fine.
Did you hear me?

-Joseph, your tie is a mess.
-[ Sighs ]

Well, hello.
And how are the newlyweds?

-Hi, Dottie.
-Hi, Mom. We've been married
almost seven months now.

Yes, dear.
Come on in.

Your father's
in the living room.

[ Whispering ]

-Joseph, what are we--
-[ Shouting ] Surprise!

-[ Screams ]
-[ Chattering ]

Oh!

[ Laughing ]

I'd say she's excited.
What would you say, hmm?

On a scale of one to ten,
about a four.

[ Maria ]
Oh, my God! [ Laughs ]

-Martini time.
-Yeah.

How are you?
Oh, my gosh!
Look at you!

Why is it when
we go to parties,

I always have
to track you down
like a homing device.

If you loved me, you'd get in
that British fantasy of yours
and drive me to Vegas.

Okay, let's play
"if you love me," shall we?

-Go on. You start.
-Okay.

If you loved me,
you'd take me to Paris
on our second honeymoon.

If you loved me,
you wouldn't miss
your appointments with Alfred.

You'd buy us a house
in Briarwood,

with a big pool and
a little froufrou dog.

And you would stop
rearranging my closets.

[ Laughs ]
A baby girl,

and an
air-conditioned garage,

for my 1974 Ferrari
Daytona convertible.

I love you, Maria.

Shut up.
It's still my turn.

It can always be
your turn, sweetheart.

-Oh, baby, is that so?
-Mm-hmm.

-Mmm!
-[ Zipper Unzipping ]

It's your turn now.

Honey, that's enough.

Oh, we'll both know
when it's enough, darling.

-Joseph, even though
I can't have an orgasm,
-[ Insect Buzzing ]

I still enjoy
making love to you.

[ Motorcycle Engine Revving ]

Sometimes I wonder
if he loves me.

[ Sighs ]

I feel he always avoids me.

He never returns my calls.
His secretary, Connie,
is always apologizing for him.

That's not true.

-You're distorting
things again.
-Just let me finish, okay?

-[ Children Chattering ]
-[ Car Horns Honking ]

Connie is embarrassed
every time I call because
he won't pick up the phone.

She practically admits
you're avoiding me.

She calls seven
or eight times a day.

-Seven or eight?
-Yes, you do!
And you embarrass me

in front of my secretary
and my associates.

Connie doesn't
know how to handle her,

because half the time
you call, you're hysterical.

I just need to
connect with you
during the day, okay?

Just once or twice.
Is that too much to ask?

[ Alfred ]
Just listen to her, Joseph.

Just listen to
what she's saying.

You gotta be kidding me.

Why are you so afraid
of being close?

Why in the hell are you
always focusing on me?

I'm just tryin' to do
my job, for Christ's sakes,
and all we ever do in here,

is talk about
her problems with me.

What I do, what I don't do,
who I am or who I'm not,

that she has an issue with.

[ Sighs ]

I just-- I can't handle it
when he gets so angry.

[ Door Opens, Closes ]

Joseph,
what is it you want?

I want a good marriage,

a supportive wife.

And I wanna work
all these things out,

so that we can have a baby
that she wants so much.

Joseph, Maria's doing so much
better the past few months.

-She's standing up
for herself. It's wonderful.
-I know.

But she's still very fragile
with you at this point.

This kind of confrontation
can't work.

You're right. I know.

It's just that sometimes
I feel like I have to stay
on top of the situation,

or it'll fall apart.

She'll fall apart.

[ Phone Ringing ]

Hello? Tanner!

No. No, I'll meet you
at the site.

[ Sighs ]

[ Sighs ]

[ Siren Wailing
In The Distance ]

[ Car Horn Honks ]

[ Pounding ]

[ Wind Whistling ]

[ Helicopter Whirring ]

[ Car Horns Honking ]

[ Motorcycle Engine Revving ]

[ Woman Moaning ]

[ Moaning Continues ]

[ Moaning Continues ]

[ Moaning Continues ]

[ Bell Tolling ]

[ Wind Whistling ]

[ Door Opens ]

-[ Door Slams ]
-Joseph?

You got a sick
patient here, Alfred.

I suggest we talk in private.

Come here, Alfred.
I have a few questions
for you.

Joseph, what's
going on here now?
Y-You're scaring me.

That's good,
'cause you know what?

I'm not totally in control
of myself right now.

Sit down, Alfred.

What does the name
"Baltazar" mean to you?

You're gonna
tell me everything,

and you're gonna start
with this doctor.

Do you know him?
Did you refer her to him?

No, no. I don't know him.

All I know is, he's
a sex therapist that practices
on the edge of the law.

They tried to shut him down,
but nobody will testify
against him.

Can you tell me
why she does this?

And forget the bullshit
psychobabble, okay?
I need to understand!

[ Sighs ]

Tsk. All I can tell you,
Joseph, is that Maria exhibits
most of the symptoms,

of what is called
a borderline personality.

By that I mean
she has no real identity.

She has to look outside
of herself every moment
for assurance, comfort, love.

She can find
no sustenance within.

-Shouldn't I have
been told this?
-Oh, come on, Joseph.

You've witnessed
this for years.

I mean,
her heightened personality

her need for control
at any cost,

the fly obsession,
the phone calls.

[ Sighs ]
Joseph, you lived it.

You're the expert.

[ Alfred's Voice ]
Most borderlines
are incurable, Joseph.

They need to be
totally reparented.

[ Rain Falling ]

One of our construction sites
is on Hinton Street.

I know about Baltazar.

It's not what you think.

Oh, really?
What is it then?

Do you come with Baltazar?
Is that why you go?

-To learn how to come?
-It's not about that.

-Then what is it about?
-[ Door Slams ]

You know what?
You're a lie!

Our whole marriage is a lie.

-Fuck you.
-You wanna tell me why?

I don't feel very close
to you right now.

Oh, you don't feel very close
to me right now?

You're paying some guy
to fuck you!

And you don't feel
very close to me right now?

I'm your husband,
for Christ's sakes--

I don't care who you are.

[ Jackhammer Hammering ]

[ Man ]
The door is open.

Come in. Sit down.

-Listen--
-Ah, you must be Joseph.

I've been expecting you.
Maria's husband.

She's a very special woman.

Look, I don't know who you are
or what you think you do,

but I need you
to do me a kind favor
and stay away from my wife.

She's not a well woman.

I agree. That's why
she came to see me.

[ Chuckles ]

Obviously someone have
to be very disturbed
to come here seeking health.

You don't understand,
my friend.

You understand this, Dr. Fuck!

You stay away from my wife,
okay?

I know what goes on in here,
'cause I was here.

And it wasn't love or therapy.
It wasn't even sex!

It was sadistic abuse.

I hope I've made myself clear.
It's over. Now.

Cup of tea?

I'm a therapist, Joseph.

There's a reason
for everything I do.

Acting out her abuse fantasy
is what enables Maria,

to get past the guilt
and anxiety of being intimate.

If we don't
express these fantasies,
they run our lives insidiously

When she stops
asking for abuse,

her need for it will be gone.

[ Chuckles ]

This is insane.
It's insane.

I'm sitting here
having tea with the doctor
who's fucking my wife

and trying to convince me
that it's good for her.

Don't you get it, man?
She needs medical help.

Maria's been in traditional
therapy for seven years.
Three therapists.

Which therapy do you think
will work at this point?

Do you know
what a borderline
personality is?

They told you
there was no cure,
and they were right.

There is no
psychoanalytic cure.

The mind,
cannot change the mind.

Real change
is not a mental process.

Let me guess.
You think sex--

Your sex, in particular,
will heal Maria, is that it?

Yes and no.
I hold no dominion
over my teachings.

I only know they work.

But, yes, conscious sex
that achieves bliss

is the greatest healer
there is.

-So the way to heal the woman
is to fuck her?
-No.

Conscious sex physically
and emotionally integrated

is one way to heal
a human being.

Ecstasy heals the unconscious.

A woman can heal
a man as well.

Well, I hope you
don't mind, Doctor,

but I'm gonna try
some other approaches
at this point.

I know you love Maria, Joseph.

I'm not here
to take that away from you.

Just don't make me
take this any further.

I am not the enemy.

I don't know what you are.

[ Sniffling ]

[ Chattering ]

[ Car Engine Starting ]

[ Dogs Barking ]

[ Children Laughing ]

[ Chattering ]

* [ Dramatic ]

* [ Continues ]

[ Clock Ticking ]

[ Indistinct Clicking ]

[ Door Closing ]

Oh, hi, sweetheart.
I'm almost done
with the kitchen.

What are you doin'?

What does it
look like I'm doing?

The entire house
is infested with bugs.

First I spray with
the Raid to kill any eggs,
and then I seal.

Maria, we discussed the fact
that flies do not lay eggs
in the house.

Ants, Joseph. Ants!

The wastebasket was full
of them this morning.

Tsk. Maria, we've gotta talk.

Okay. Just let me
finish the kitchen first.

And if you wanna help,
you can start cleaning
the bathroom.

Just go through
your drawers, okay?

Hi.

What time is it?

It's 5:45 a.m.
You busy?

No. No. Of course not.

Uh, well, I guess
we'll have some breakfast.

Maria's gettin' worse.

I'm sure she's
very frightened.

Therapy isn't working.

I want you to teach me
what you do.

You want to learn from me?

I wanna learn
how to heal my wife.

That's not possible.

You fascinate me.
First you want
to destroy me.

Now you want
to become my acolyte.

Do you play
a musical instrument?

No.

Do you think you have
the ability to put aside
your rage and listen?

Look, the rage
is gone, okay?

The only thing that's
important to me now
is helping Maria.

If I agree to help you,

you must understand
it means precisely that.

I'm helping you.

Maria has her own path.

I understand.

I'm not sure you do.

And you have to promise me,

you'll never see Maria again.

Ah! Is that what you're
really doing here, Joseph?

-Preventing me
seeing your wife?
-Do we have a deal or not?

I doubt the rage is gone.

But we can put it to good use.

And I agree with you.

As I teach you
the ways of love,

it would not be
my place to see Maria.

I saw you at the symphony
the other night.

-I followed you there.
-I'm the substitute.

I'd like to play more,
but I don't have the time
to devote myself.

So, we have a deal.

You can choose
to leave at anytime,
and I may ask you to leave.

But the work and
our relationship must
remain strictly confidential.

Joseph?

Do you really
love Maria that much?

Too bad for you.

Okay, describe to me how
you make love to a woman.

And tell me, in detail,
when and how you make love.

Well,

one of us starts
kissing the other one,

usually at night
before we go to bed.

Then I kiss her breasts
for a while.

How?

-How?
-Mmm.

I, uh, I kiss.

I suck and twirl my tongue.

How does it feel?

Aroused.

Like I want her.

Then, um, kiss
her tummy for a while.

Turn her over sometimes
and kiss her bottom.

Like to do that.

-How does she feel?
-Uh--

I don't know.

[ Pen Scratching Paper ]

Then, uh, I usually kiss her
down there for a while.

Down there?
You mean, her vagina?

Yeah?

-Go on.
-And, um--

Sometimes,
I, uh, use my fingers.

I, uh--
So I can hold her while we--

You know.

[ Sighs ]

Then I, uh, get inside her,

and we make love,

like normal, I guess.

Anything else?

Sometimes she cries.

Does Maria
ever have an orgasm?

No, I guess not.

Not with me anyway.

Not with anyone, Joseph.

Maria is frigid.

-Do you make love
to yourself?
-Hmm?

Do you masturbate?

No. No. Not--

Rarely when
I'm in a relationship.

Well, we'll have
to change that.

How can you make love
to someone else if you can't
make love to yourself?

So, Joseph, what are you
doing to help Maria?

Well, I do what I can,
you know. I try to make her
go to therapy--

Only do what I say.

I don't want you to make love
to her until I say otherwise.

I want you to hold her
and talk to her in bed,

about intimate things,

the most intimate feelings
you're having.

When you sleep, spoon her.

Right side to the bed.

We call this
the nurturing position.

* [ Violin ]

* [ Stops ]

[ Baltazar ]
Come on in, Joseph.

Go into the room on your left
and take off all your clothes
except your shorts.

* [ Resumes ]

[ Saw Buzzing ]

[ Saw Continues ]

Nick! Nick!

Naw, forget it.

Ah, Joseph.

Come and stand
over here.

I want you to look
in the mirror.

Tell me what you see.
Tell me about your body.

You're joking, right?

Okay, then.
Is this as far as we go?

I guess I'm a bit too thin.

My legs are definitely
too skinny.

I don't know.
It's fine. Why?

Well, you stand as if
you don't like your body.

I like your body.
It's lean, strong.

Capable hands,
well-defined feet.

Of course, you could
change it if you wanted,

but it's better to change
how you feel about it.

Anyone that doesn't
totally accept their body
can never experience ecstasy,

can never enable another
to experience it.

What do you think
about your penis?

Well, to be honest,
I like it.

It's large and powerful.

Good. I want you
to feel that way.

I'm sure it's true.

Later on,
I can give you some exercises
to further increase its size.

Good for you.
Good for Maria.

Now, every night
before you go to sleep,

[ Baltazar, Continuing ]
I want you to practice
what I call,

the "bliss carezza."

Barely touching Maria,

tenderly stroke her body
from head to toe
with your hand.

[ Maria Moaning ]

[ Baltazar ]
We are sensitizing her body,

awakening her
ecstatic responses.

Then, her hand on you.

Imagine life energy,

flowing through her hands.

Feel the electricity.

[ Exhaling ]

[ Maria ]
I promised Joseph
I wouldn't come here.

I don't want to hurt him

or us.

It's just--

Sometimes I get scared.

Would you like to dance?

I always wanted to be
a ballroom dancer.

You know, the kind that dons
a tux every night

and dances the world?

* [ Classical ]

Did you enjoy the dance?

Yes.

As did I, very much.

And if you enjoy
the dance, Maria--

Then the dance is enough.

I promise.

Have a cigar.
They're very mild.

-Oh, no. No, thank you.
-Have one anyway.

Most men fear
women's power, Joseph.

A sexually conscious woman
is as powerful as any being
on the planet.

We're entering a new era.

It will be the resurgence
of the divine feminine spirit.

We must honor that spirit,

in ourselves,

and in others.

You have to suck on it
once in a while, Joseph.
Otherwise, it goes out.

The goal of sex
is not orgasm, Joseph,

but ecstasy.

Maria's satisfaction
will give you ecstasy.

Nothing else.

There are nine levels--
Movements, I call them,

to a woman's orgasm.

Now, most lovers
only achieve level four,

the ultimate release.

But it's just the threshold.

Between movements
five and nine

is where
true healing occurs.

[ Seagull Screeches ]

To reach these movements,

you must
practice with diligence
the exercises I give you.

One of their purposes is

to make orgasm and ejaculation
a voluntary act.

I thought they were
the same thing.

Most people do.

In truth,
both orgasm and ejaculation
are governed by

different
neurological mechanisms.

You must learn to separate
and control each at will.

What do you mean?

The only way to really satisfy
a woman and yourself
is to have control,

complete control
over your ejaculation.

Then you are no longer
led around by your penis.

This has
far-reaching implications

in all areas of life,
don't you think?

So, are you saying
that I'm never supposed
to come?

When you choose.

That way you don't dissipate
your life force.

Don't you feel tired
after you've made love?

I will teach you
how to "injaculate,"

so you can have many orgasms
without losing your power.

Yes, I will teach
you and Maria,

a greater pleasure
than you imagined possible.

Go on.
Let's see how you do.

[ Stopwatch Ticking ]

[ Gasping, Coughing ]

I-- I can go a lot further.

I just got-- [ Gulps ]
Some lungs in my water.

[ Baltazar ]
Okay. Using your left hand,
close your left nostril.

Breathe in
through your right nostril
to a count of seven.

-[ Inhaling Deeply ]
-Then close both nostrils

and hold for a count of 14.

Open the left nostril
and breathe out through
a count of seven.

Close the right nostril

and hold for a count of 14.

-Keeping the left
nostril open,
-[ Gasps ]

breathe in
to a count of seven.

-[ Exhales Deeply ]
-Close both nostrils.

[ Breathing ]

[ Laughing ]

Why would anybody
wanna do this?

[ Sighs ]

Okay, Joseph,
I'm ready to come down.

[ Exhales ]

-[ Chuckling ]
-Joseph, come on.

No sex without condoms,
no booze, no drugs?

Now you're tellin' me
I can't even come?

I know.
It's depressing, isn't it?

Sure, it is.

-Hey.
-Hey.

-I just have to run an errand.
I'll be right back.
-Okay.

Done your exercises?

Well, I--
I tried, but, uh--
I just can't do it.

I can't just think
of myself. I need to--
I need to fantasize.

Go to the White Room,
Joseph. Try again.

Concentrate on your
own sexual power.

Don't throw it away on fantasy

You don't want me
to take you through them,
do you?

No.

[ Baltazar ]
"Maria remains a mystery.

"It's hard for me
to determine the roots
of her sexual dysfunction,

"or the extent
of her childhood trauma.

"There have, to date,
been no repressed memory
flashes or nightmares.

"Yet she lives
in a constant state
of suppressed paranoia.

"Maria is oddly protective
of Joseph.

"He seems to be
a good person,

"captured by Maria's
intense passion,

"which often springs forth
to surprise me at any moment,

"captured by her beauty
and seductive charms,

"and, most likely,
captured by his own need

"to suck love from those
who are too wounded
to give it freely.

"I know this man."

[ Coughing ]

[ Footsteps Approaching ]

Finally, Hera: The Trials
of the Goddess Obscura.

First published in 1908.

It's been out of print
since 1932.

You have yet
to let me down, Eva.

I find the combination
of charm and intelligence,

a rare union these days.

[ Baltazar ]
"Maria will take time.

"She is in the darkness
before self-realization.

"She needs to feel free
to express herself

"in ways she cannot
with her husband.

"She needs to be released
from the burdens of her shame
and self-hatred.

"I will try."

How are
the exercises going?

Fine.

Everything's going fine.

I want you to do them
three times a day.

Draw the energy
up to the heart chakra

and then progress
to the third eye,
as we discussed.

[ Laughs ]
I work all day.

Then I suggest
you close your door.

Can you explain it to me?

Well, Joseph, you know,
the construction supervisor,

is talking about chakras,
reads books about Hinduism.

My Joseph is talking
about chakras!

I think Joseph's discovery
that his relationship with you

is not what he thought it was
has had a profound effect.

It's like he has
this inner life that I--

-[ Chuckles ] Oh.
-W-What?

Nothing.

I just had
a bizarre thought.

Anyway, um, last night,

we just sat in bed

and talked, sort of.

Tell me.

[ Laughing ]
I ca-- I can't.

Okay.

Um--

He sat me down
in front of a mirror,

and he asked me
to masturbate for him.

He wanted me
to show him step-by-step
how I like to be touched.

He wanted to know
how to please me.

How did that feel?

Well,
I wouldn't do it at first.
I was too embarrassed.

Then he did it.
[ Chuckling ]

I learned so much about him
by watching him,

how he touched himself.

Then I did it.

Do you feel you got closer
to an orgasm?

Oh, God, no!
I was far too self-conscious.

But this is good.

Uh, before we end though,
Maria,

I would like to encourage you
to return to therapy
with a greater commitment.

I don't know.

I worry too much
when I see you.

I try to control my thoughts.

We are what we think, Maria.

Life is learning
to come to terms
with our thoughts.

But the terms of my thoughts
are unreasonable, Alfred.

It's just as well
I leave them alone.

Start by using
your ring finger.

Slip it in gently
and curl it,

so your fingertip
is touching the ceiling
of the yoni.

Go as deep as you can.

Then slide your finger down
until you feel it.

How will I know?

Most likely, she'll tell you.

She'll feel it if you don't.

When you find
the sacred spot,

never break eye contact
with Maria.

[ Moaning, Gasping ]

Does it hurt?

No, it's just sensitive.

Is it too much?

No. It feels raw.

Almost like it's burning.

[ Gasping ]

The first few times
the sacred spot is touched,

it can be frightening.

She may experience pain.

I'm scared, Joseph.

It's okay.

Just keep stroking.
The sensation will change.

[ Gasping ]

Stay with me, okay?

-I love you.
-I love you too.

[ Gasping ]

[ Laughs, Gasps ]

[ Panting ]

Stay with her
for only 30 seconds or so,

and then slowly withdraw

but hold her very closely.

You're assuming
the role of healer
in this act, Joseph.

All Maria's abuse
and psychic hurts,

reside in this sacred spot.

It will take time
to release them.

[ Crying ]

[ Murmuring ]

[ Car Approaching ]

[ Chuckles ]

Baltazar?

A bit late,
aren't you, Joseph?

I, uh, I feel it, you know?
What you've been
talking about?

I've been doing the exercises,
and I-- I feel it!

Describe this feeling.

Well, it's like this,
you know, this sadness that
I've been carrying around,

it's just, you know--
It's lifted.

And I feel-- I just feel--
I feel the love.

I feel in love
with-with myself.

Hmm.

So, what's on for today?

Nothing's on for today,
Joseph.

I have a very busy evening,
a performance and a date.

You have a date?

Indeed. And so do you.

It's time for you and Maria
to make love.

Now remember,
make love from the heart,

nowhere else.

Keep your eyes open,
move extremely slowly,

and, most importantly,

with love and adoration.

What about the nine levels
of orgasm?

Later. Don't concern yourself
with orgasm.

For Maria,
it will take much time.

For you, it's forbidden.

I feel the love.

I love myself.

-I love myself.
-Congratulations.

[ Chuckling ]

I love myself
three times a day.

I feel the love.

[ Laughter ]

Oh, God!

Okay. I'll talk
to you later. Bye.

[ Dialing ]

[ Ringing ]

Hello?

What's so funny?

How did you know
I was laughing?

Oh, I just know.

I've been learning
more and more
about you every day.

[ Chuckling ]
So I see.

-When are you coming home?
-Soon.

When I do,
do you want to make love?

I thought you wanted
to wait.

I mean, are you sure
you're ready?

Under one condition.

What's that?

You do it my way.

Look, maybe we should just
hold each other first.

-Ow!
-Shut up!

Maria.

Ow!

[ Sighs ]

Why are you doing this?

'Cause I love your toes,

and it excites me.

[ Moaning ]

Don't move.

Ow.

Ow.

[ Groaning ]
Hon.

Oh, it hurts!

[ Moaning ]

[ Both Moaning ]

I love you so deep
inside me, Joseph.

Oh, God, I feel you so--
So deep inside.

Not so fast.

Hon, no. No.
I'm not supposed to come.

-Huh? What?
-I'm not supposed to come.

-[ Whispers ]
I'm not supposed to come.
-I can't hear you.

-Don't make me come.
-What?

[ Panting ]

[ Laughing ]
Too bad, motherfucker.

[ Moaning ]

[ Whispers ]
Did you like it?

-I guess she
surprised us, huh?
-Yeah.

-I felt, um--
-Scared?

A woman's anger
can be very scary.

Most don't feel
they have the right
to express it.

Maybe we should
encourage Maria
to vent hers more often.

-In bed?
-Why not?

Repressed anger
chokes us,

closes us down.

Are you sure
it was Maria's anger
that scared you?

What do you mean?

How did it feel to be fucked?

Out of control.

How did you feel?

Fear.

I was over on Hinton Street
the other day.

[ Sighs ]

Does he make you
feel safe?

Maria, I, uh--

Does he love you
no matter what?

So do I.

* [ Violin ]

Follow closely.

Let me into
your subconscious.

[ Gasping ]

Touch her like a harmonic.

Gentle. Yin.

*

But sure, definitive.

*

[ Gasping ]

Look at me.

Look at me.

*

[ Shuddering ]

[ Gasping ]

[ Gasping ]

[ Baltazar ]
Now, movements five to nine.

Support her neck
with your hand,

precisely at
the fourth and fifth
cervical vertebrae.

Begin your toning

and breathe into her neck
through your hand.

Energy follows consciousness.

[ Rhythmic Breathing ]

Maria?

-[ Shuddering ]
-Maria?

Are you okay?

-Hon. Hon!
-[ Wheezing ]

Maria! Honey?

[ Gasping For Air ]

[ Breathing Stops ]

[ Lifts Receiver, Dialing ]

[ Phone Ringing ]

[ Indistinct Murmuring ]

[ Indistinct Operator
Paging Over P.A. ]

-Joseph?
-Yes, I'm Joseph.

-Do you mind
if my friends--
-Anyone you want.

Okay,
when Maria first arrived,

her throat was almost
swollen shut.

We injected the throat
with a strong
anti-inflammatory.

We also administered her
a sedative, so she would rest.

Now, to your knowledge,

-has anything like this
ever happened before?
-No.

Is she allergic to anything?

-Any medication
she might've taken?
-Not that I know of.

What were you doing
when this occurred?

We were making love,

and she started crying.

Then she started choking.

She's been under a lot
of abnormal stress lately.

-She had a severe breakdown.
-She had a body memory.

Maria has endured some form
of repeated child abuse.

She shows almost all
the external symptoms,

but it's locked
in her subconscious.

Now she can begin
the road to recovery.

[ Alfred ]
That's possible.

Her memory could've triggered
a spontaneous regression
to some incident.

Oral sex is one
of the most common
forms of infant abuse.

[ Chattering ]

[ Woman ]
It's more about acceptance
than forgiveness for me.

I got a letter a year later.

Now she denies
that anything ever happened.

That's all.

Um--

My name is Maria,

and I'm a survivor
of child sexual abuse
and incest.

[ Exhales Deeply ]

-Hey.
-Hi.

It's Maria's mother
on the phone.

[ Sighs ]

[ Beeps ]

[ Joseph ]
Hello, Dottie.

I support her,

and I'm doing as best
as I can as her husband
in this situation,

but does it really matter
what I think?

I realize that you think
she's ill.

She is getting help!

Because I've seen her suffer!

Well, I'm sorry, too, Dottie.

[ Water Running ]

-Honey, it's the fifth time
today you've taken--
-Leave me alone!

We have to talk
about this, Maria.

I just needed a shower.

The other night,
when you got up to go
to the bathroom,

I knew it was you,

but what I saw was him,
standing there,

naked,

ready to come to my bed.

We need to separate, Joseph.
I know I'm going crazy.

You have to let me inside.

You have to let me try
to help you.

I don't feel comfortable
around you.

Things that you do
frighten me.

Just tell me what I can do.

When you touch me,
I feel numb.

I'm gonna sleep in the guest
bedroom until you find
another place to stay.

[ Truck Horn Honking ]

Living room, bar, kitchen.
If you want to call it that.

Closets, clean towels,
fresh linens every other day.

Any questions?

[ Door Closes ]

* [ Classical ]

[ Hollow Thud ]

[ Tools Rattling ]

Not your most
confident stride, Joseph.

Maria asked you to leave.

Listen, if you know everything
that's gonna happen in my life
for the next two years,

why don't you let me know
so I can plan my vacations.

And know when to put
my house on the market!

Tell me what happened.

It's what Maria's
going through.

What has to do with you,

-[ Needle Scratches,
Music Stops ]
-has to do with you.

What's that supposed to mean?

You married a scarred
and emotionally
dysfunctional woman.

Has it ever occurred to you
to ask yourself why?

Why you put up with so much
in return for so little?

Because I'm in love
with her, okay?

And because I believed in you.

I believed that we
could help her!

Our relationship has never
been about Maria. Never!

You don't love Maria, Joseph.
You want to mold her.

You want to make her
something for Joseph.

And you've only ever proven
to me that you'd do anything
to make that happen.

What do you know
about love? Huh?

Love is being there
when they hate
your fucking guts!

Love is being there
when they bleed.

I mean, have you ever been
with a woman for more than
one hour? Ever?

Wendy takes small steps
every day to make
herself attractive.

She eats.
Then she eliminates,

through the esophagus,
mind you.

That's when she's not taking
the latest laxative
on the market.

-[ Book Thuds ]
-A beautiful woman, Leslie.

God made her 5'5"
and a voluptuous 128 pounds.

But sometime, probably
when she was a teenager,

she got the idea that
she wasn't so beautiful.

Maybe it was
because her friends,

Debbie and Connie,
were getting all the boys.

But she started a program
of repetitive surgery,

to suck all the fat
from her body.

She started with her hips,
her thighs, her tummy.

Next month, unless
we do something to help her,

she'll continue with
her arms and her ankles.

They always do.

Candy's had four implants.

She just can't
get it quite right.

-[ Book Thuds ]
-Evelyn,

injects her face with cow fat
six times a year.

Jane. Two hours
on the Stairmaster,

an hour on a treadmill, daily.

They dress to flaunt this,
to hide that.

They cover their faces
with poisons.

You're right.
They do bleed, Joseph.
And do you know why?

Because they're desperate
to sell what men buy.

Desperate to be what
they're not, to be loved.

Like Maria.

Have you ever thought that
maybe your focus on Maria,

is a distraction
from your own fear
of abandonment?

Your own emptiness?

Your own life?

You want to be a healer?
Heal yourself.

This'll be painless.
I promise.

You're a deceptive asshole,
you know that?

All you gotta do is meet her.

She just got divorced.
She was married for two years.
You guys got a lot in common.

[ Clears Throat ]
Now, uh, she's
a little bit flat upstairs,

but Nancy tells me
she has a bodacious ass

and is not afraid to use it.

Tanner, do me a favor, okay?

Never talk to me about a woman
like that again.

What is wrong with you?

[ Maria Exhaling ]

[ Connie ]
Joseph, are you with me?

Hmm? Yeah.
[ Clears Throat ] Sorry.

Okay. Arthur wants you
to take a meeting
with the Kensor group.

Will you do it?

No. You know what?

Cancel my 2:30 meeting
with Cruise, too, would you?

-Where you going?
-Goin' out for a while.
[ Sighs ]

[ Man, Woman Moaning ]

-Oh, God!
-Oh!

[ Phone Ringing ]

-[ Lifts Receiver ]
-Hello?

Yes, Doctor.

No. No, I'll be there.

3:00 Tuesday?

Yes, ma'am.
Yes, I understand.

[ Woman ]
They don't want to be alone
in their healing anymore.

They want you to understand,
to be aware

and to hear them.

Beyond that,
there are no expectations.

Are there any questions?

Okay. Who would like
to go first?

[ Maria ]
I would.

Um--

My name is Maria,

and my husband
is Joseph.

[ Sniffling ]

From the time I was a baby,

until I was about
ten years old,

I loved my father
more than anything else.

Nobody could say anything bad
about him to me.

The world loved him too.

[ Clears Throat ]
I have recently remembered
a lot of things.

I remembered that
my father's favorite thing

was to kiss my vagina
when I was a baby.

I remember that sometimes
I'd wake up in the middle
of the night sucking his penis

[ Chuckling ]
I didn't even know
what it was.

My mother went away on a trip
when I was five years old.

This was the first time
he put his penis in me.

I bled for days.

He told me that's what
daddies and little girls do.

[ Chuckling ]

That it was our secret.

He made me believe
that every father did that
with their daughter.

So I believed him,

and I became that.

And I enjoyed it too.

It seemed to stop
when I was about 11 or 12.

[ Sniffles ]
I don't know why,

but I still loved him.

I had no choice.

I became the woman that
my father wanted me to be.

I dressed how he told me
to dress.

I presented myself
as a happy, bubbly girl.

[ Chuckling ]
Still do.

It's the way
that I block the feelings.

It's the way
that I block the pain.

Joseph,

I know I've been away
a long time.

[ Inhales Deeply ]
I had to confront
my self-hatred,

and I am terrified of you.

But it's because
you make me feel so good,

like my father did.

My father, who was supposed
to keep me safe from harm,

was the harm.

Can you understand?

[ Sniffles ]

Do you?

[ Baltazar ]
Look at the courage she has.

So many people go
the other way,

live as victims.

They use their abuse
as an excuse to close down,

to give in to life.

How do you let it go?

You look it straight
in the eye

and risk letting someone
love you.

Maria did that today.

She's gonna be
a different woman when
she gets through this.

Yes.

[ Sighs ]

You know,

it's not good for you
to have so many orgasms.

You need to learn
to preserve your yang

and prolong
your sexual activity.

Good for you.
Good for your wife.

-Okay. Thanks.
-Sure.

[ Joseph ]
I know, I know.
I feel the same. Yeah.

That sounds good.
Okay.

Right. Yeah.

-Hi.
-Hi.

Do you want
to have a seat?

Sure.

[ Sighs ]

Do you want to play
"If you love me"?

-Okay.
-[ Chuckling ]

Okay.

If you love me,

you'll understand
that I needed time,

to separate you
from my abuse.

[ Sighs ]

I still wake up every morning
with my memories,

my nightmares,

but I'm facing them.

I can't help feeling ugly

and ashamed.

If you love me,

let me come home.

Baltazar?

-Hi.
-Hi.

I'm Eva.

Are you here
for a violin lesson?

No. Yes.
Yes, yes, I am.

I, uh--
I think I've got
the wrong time,

so I'd probably better just--

Eva, this is Joseph.

We met.

Bye, lover.

I'll see you Friday,

unless you want
to drop by the library.

Good night, Joseph.

-Client?
-No.

That's the healing room.
This is my bedroom.

A violin lesson, huh?

Yes. No.

Um--

I-I haven't exactly told her
what I do. I--

I need a bit more time.

Isn't she glorious?

And you don't
have to heal her?

Do you, uh--

Do you ever
smell her fragrance
when she's nowhere around?

And do you--

Do you know
what she's thinking
before she even begins

Do you dread all the moments
in between?

Too bad for you.

[ Footsteps receding ]

* [ Violin ]