All language subtitles for True Story s01e03 Abhishek, Ronald.eng

- Stories.

- Since the dawn of time,
we've relied on stories

to entertain and enlighten.

- Be they tales of adventure,
love, loss,

or abject stupidity,

these sagas are passed down
through generations,

a grand catalog
of our collective experience.

- But what about those
epic stories

only shared among
a small circle of friends?

How do they achieve
the legendary status

they so richly deserve?

- By being told here.

- Welcome to the ultimate
chronicle of humanity.

- This is "True Story
with Ed and Randall."

[bombastic music]

- Good evening,
and welcome to "True Story,"

the show that brings to life
legendary tales

that none of us have heard.

- That's right, Randall.
We know nothing.

We are hearing this
for the first time,

just like you at home.

- Well, correction Ed,
we do know one thing,

the name of our storyteller.
Welcome, Abhishek.

- Thank you.
- Hello.

- Hello. How are you guys?

- We're good.
- Doing great.

We're really glad
to have you here.

Now, is this a story

that your parents
would be proud

to hear you telling on national
television to the world?

- I think we'll know
at the end of it

whether
they should be proud or not.

- Okay. That's something
that we will determine

at the very end of this.
So where does your story begin?

- So this story was when
I was 28 years old.

When I moved to America,
I was, like, 22 years old.

I came here initially
as a student.

- And you moved here from?
- From Mumbai, India.

- What's your life like?

- I had a good stable job,
and I was single, you know,

living with my roommates.

And we were right
in the Yale campus.

But I was in that situation
where, you know,

I haven't been
in a relationship.

In my friend circle,

everyone was getting married
or engaged,

so I was the last one
among the four friends.

And all my family is
back in India.

- Yeah.
- So I visit them every year.

I would go
for two or three weeks.

So this happens when I go back
to Mumbai, India,

for vacation
to meet my family.

- Yeah.

- I remember this place
where I was

in a nightclub lounge,
like an area.

- What's the vibe
in this nightclub?

Is it--is it like
a big techno club?

Lots of lights?

[funky techno music]

- More relaxing.

- Relaxed, okay.
- Yeah.

[chill lo-fi music]

- I see this beautiful girl...

And I really like her.
She was so beautiful.

I kept looking at her

a little bit too much
for her liking.

- Oh, were you basically
like this?

- Yeah, this would not be good.

- Actually, it was face
to face?

- You were just lost
in her beauty.

- Right. Exactly.
- She was just glowing.

- She had this very positive,
energetic vibe, you know,

like kind-hearted, honest
and also like humble.

- You didn't just see a person.
You saw, like, a story.

- Right. I did, yes.

But what happened
was when I looked at her,

she looked somewhere else,

and then she looked at me,
and I looked somewhere else.

And then we both looked
at each other

and we fell in love.

- What?
- That's what happened. And--

- You fell in love?

- I did. I like right--
I saw it, and I was like--

- The moment
your eyes connected?

- Yeah, and I just knew
something about her that,

you know,
I just liked it a lot and--

- But you knew nothing of her.
- I knew nothing of her.

Which is--which is,
I know, kind of strange, but--

- And how did you know
that the feeling was mutual?

- She gave a little bit
of smile.

- Okay.

- So I just decided
I'll talk to her,

and we did talk.

- What is her name?
- Her name is Fenal.

- Okay.

- We continued talking
for next week or two.

- On the phone? In person?
Were you meeting a lot?

- In person, a lot of in person
because I knew I had

to come back
to United States in two weeks.

- I love having a lot

of in-person face-to-face
with you.

- My face likes being
in person with your face.

- Come on, I bet your face
says that to all the faces.

- We're really connecting
a lot more.

- You know my favorite ice
cream flavor is?

Black sesame.

- No way.
I love black sesame ice cream.

both: We have
so much in common. Jinx!

- I just knew
I wanted to spend

the rest of my life with her.

It was really good.
Like, you know,

it was almost like we couldn't
stop meeting each other

or talking to each other.

- I have to go back
to the States.

- That really sucks.

- I know. It sucks.

- So bad.

- Before you left,
did you guys share a kiss?

- Yeah, we did.

[romantic music]

- Okay.
- Yes.

- Great.

- But when I came back
to United States, you know,

we were talking like
pretty much every day.

- I'm really rooting for this.

- Yeah.
- This feels great.

- It does. It feels lovely.

- So I think it was almost
like after 9, 10 months,

I again decided
to go back to Mumbai.

- Yeah.

- And this time, I had a plan,
which was to propose her.

- Oh, okay.

- And, which I did.

- Will you marry me?

Yeah?
- Yes!

- And she said yes.

- Wait a minute--wait a minute.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Had you not seen her
since that first two weeks?

- No. No.
- You had just been talking?

- I mean, on video, yes,
but not in person. Yeah.

- On the flight back, are you
just like incredibly nervous?

- I was a little bit nervous,
but I was also confident.

You know,
you get that feeling right?

- Yeah, you're excited.
- Yeah. I was excited more.

I was just more worried about
how the parents would react,

because at this point of time,

none of our parents
knew about this relationship.

- Oh, right. Right.

- Because in India,
you know, it's by tradition,

you need the blessings
of the parents.

- As you can see
on page eight,

the critical success factor
of this matrimony plan relies

heavily on the mutual
agreement of the families

of both parties involved.

- Hmm, yes,
that'll be a crucial factor.

What is the likelihood

that your family
will agree to the above terms?

- It's pretty strong.
You're a great catch,

and I currently
have six roommates.

- Good point.

- That's just the step.
- Right.

- Yeah, that's I would say 20%.

- 20% of the job is done.

- So we're about one fifth
of the way there.

- I think we need a pie chart.
- Yeah.

- So I introduce her
to my parents.

My parents are
pretty chill that way.

They were like,
"Oh, if you are happy,

you are happy, you know,
you have our blessings."

- And were they like--
- Very cool.

They're like, "How did--how did
you end up with this girl?"

So they're very cool that way.

- Now you're maybe 60%
of the way.

- 60% percent over there.
- I would say 40.

- Okay, so we just need
the final parental agreement,

the aforementioned
property terms adjusted,

and some romantic paperwork,

and it's happy
ever after for us

- Easy.

- Well...
- So now is the tricky part.

I'm supposed to meet
her parents now,

and her dad, to be specific,

because she told me
her dad's personality

is exactly opposite to mine.

Like, you know,
he's very serious,

a little bit jovial,
but he also has this thing

where he does
everything on time.

He starts things on time.

He's very particular
about that.

- Right.
- Regimented.

- And I'm not like that at all,
but I'm thinking, you know,

don't worry, I'll create
a very good first impression.

So I remember the day
we were like, you know,

supposed
to have dinner together,

but I underestimated
the traffic

because staying in U.S.--
- Oh, God, Abhishek.

- Abhishek, come on.

- What mode of transportation
are you taking?

- I was in a rickshaw.

- Hey boss, how fast
can you get to Bandra?

- At this time of day?
It's the middle of rush hour.

- Okay. Just like 20 minutes?

- Well, you selected
my mad pool option,

so I have to drop off
these people first.

- Okay.

Can you just please drive
as fast as you can please?

- All right, boss,
but if you ask me,

you should have sprung
for the solo option.

- And is it just traffic?

- There's also, like,
I was taking care

of other things early in the
day, so I got delayed there,

and there's just
a lot of things going that day.

- That's the one thing
he care cares about.

- Exactly. And it's--
- It's the one thing.

- I was, I think,
two hours late.

- Two hours?

- I totally forgot
the traffic, you know,

how to calculate two miles
as how much, you know.

- Sorry, but you can walk two
miles in less than two hours.

[knock at door]

- Come.

- Home.

Hello, Mr.--Fenal's father.
How are you?

- When you first
opened the door

and you made eye contact
with Dad,

it was kind of the opposite

of that first eye contact
with Fenal.

- Yes. Yeah, exactly.
- Yes, yeah.

- This was more
like hate at first sight.

- You're late.

- Well, my friends actually
call me Abhishek, sir.

Not a comedy guy, got it.

- Sometimes, if you smile,
the opposite person smiles,

it becomes a little bit easier.

But if the opposite person
doesn't smile,

it was more like
a job interview, right?

Sometimes you're like,
very deadpan.

- It felt like a job interview.

- So Mr. Abhishek, you wish
to marry my beloved daughter?

- Yes.

- What qualities do you have
that qualify you for the job?

- Um, well--

- Clearly punctuality
is not one of them.

- I...

People think
I'm pretty hilarious.

- Eh.

- You messed up.

- Yeah. It was just getting
more and more tense.

- I see here, you dated
Kiara Shroff for four months.

Why did that position
come to an end?

- Sir, we were both four.

It was more of like a--like
a play date; it wasn't formal.

- Hmm, interesting.
- Okay.

- I'm really worried.
- Oh, gosh, Abhishek.

- I'm really worried, I feel
like this was going so well.

- Yeah.
Everything was going so great.

- We'll need you to fill out
this application.

Here.

- Um, is Fenal around?

I feel like it would be good
to have her--

- We also need a DNA sample.

- I remember, at one point,
I tried to do, like,

a fist bump
just to diffuse the tension,

but he did not react.

So I just did
a fist bump by myself.

- Oh.
No, no.

It's here, so...
Pew.

- You literally went like this.

- You did a self-bump.

- But I was like,
"You know what?

It's okay.
It was just one night."

I went home that day,
I was very upset,

but I was like,
"I'll keep trying."

So the next day, I told her
to switch off the internet.

- What is the plan?
- Okay, you're gonna love it.

Basically, you turn off
the Wi-Fi, right?

But then I come over
to fix the Wi-Fi,

but really,
I'm just turning it back on.

Your dad's gonna think
I'm amazing, we get married.

Bing bang boom.

- That is the dumbest plan
I've ever heard.

- Yeah, but, like, dumb
in like a good way.

- So you are
sabotaging her parents.

- Yeah.

- So then you can swoop in--
- Swoop in, and--

- As the internet fix-it guy,
superhero.

- How about you try
just talking to my father?

- No, I think the best way

we can go here is just stick
with the intricate schemes.

- So after fixing it,
I, you know, was just--

- And he was?
- Yeah, he was not happy. Yeah.

- Oh, gosh.

- I thought he would
consider me as a man, right?

- Yes, yes, yes.

- And that did not happen.

- Like he's giving you nothing.
- Nothing.

And the more time passed,
the more desperate I became.

- And once you came back
to the United States,

there was no way
you could come back.

- He would probably get her
married to someone else.

- Yes.

- So about how much time
do you have left at this point?

- I think about a week.

And that time, I remember
I told one of my friend

and he said, you know,

someone else
had similar problem,

and there was
this friend of his,

he said, "He can help you out."

So I was like, you know,
how can it hurt anymore, right?

Because--
- Yeah, you're desperate.

- So a few days,
I'm super desperate.

So I went, and I met him.

Now, this guy,
he's like Bollywood movie fan.

- He was a Bollywood movie fan?
- Huge fan.

[upbeat Bollywood dance music]

* *

- And--and he's like,
"I'm the guy..."

- Yeah.

- "That can win over
your girlfriend's dad."

* *

- He started with,
"Bro, [clicks tongue]

bro, I got this, bro."

That's what he said.

He's like, "Bro,
don't worry, bro. I got this.

All right? I got this."

And I should have known that
anyone who starts with "bro,"

I should not trust that person.

- But you are desperate,
and you're running out of time.

- So I asked him.
He's like, "Don't worry, bro.

[clicks tongue]
I got this."

And he did this thing,
[clicks tongue], you know?

both: [click tongues]
- Like don't worry about it.

And I was like,
"Okay, so what's the plan?"

- Okay. So you, your
girlfriend, and her parents--

you know,
you're going to a dinner.

And please,
a really nice dinner this time.

Her father already thinks
you're a complete idiot

I mean, [indistinct]--

- What?

- I mean, no, no, no, no.
These are his words, not mine.

[clicks tongue]
- He never said that.

- Are you sure?
- Yeah.

- Okay. [clicks tongue]

Ha. Okay.
So you're at dinner and, bam,

handsome stranger comes up
and grabs one of the purses

and starts to taka, taka, taka,
taka, taka, running. Right?

- Sorry.

- "And then you catch me
and bring the purse back."

- And her father will think
you're a complete hero, bro.

[clicks tongue]

- I'm like,
"What? That's your plan?"

- Yeah.

- He's like, "[clicks tongue]
Bro, trust me, bro."

- I'm sorry, is there something
wrong with your teeth?

- Ah, come on, the plan's
genius, though, isn't it?

- "This is
100% guaranteed success.

"I've done this before
with another couple,

and it will definitely work."

- Oh, gosh.
- Wow.

- Oh, gosh.
- Wow. Wow.

- Yeah. I don't know--I dunno
what to make of this,

but I was like, you know,
"Okay, let me think about it."

I didn't say yes
or no at that point,

but I was more leaning
towards it,

you know, because
I was running out of time.

- You're desperate.

- So, I, you know,
called my girlfriend.

I was like, you know,
"This is the plan."

And she was like,
"You are going to impress

my parents with fake mugging?"

I'm like, "Yes, exactly.
That's what."

- So you went from "I'm gonna
pretend to fix his router"

to "I'm gonna hire a guy
to fake mug his daughter"?

- Now that you are saying it,
it feels a little bit weird,

but at that point of time,
you know,

whatever little bit help
I could get.

- I mean, it's an insane idea.

- So you're at dinner.

- One hour before,
I was trying to communicate

with my Bollywood friend.

I tried his cell phone,

and it was going
directly voice message.

- Bollywood bro
is not available.

He's probably doing something
hella cool and interesting.

At the tone, please record
your message. [clicks tongue]

- So you're thinking the plan
is--

- Yeah, that's why.

So no communication
at all.

- It's not happening.
- Maybe. Yeah, no response.

- Where the heck are you?

Okay, I--I need to know
if you're--

if you're coming or not.
That way, I can--oh, hi.

I'm so excited to have
a very ordinary dinner

with all of you. Please.

Hope you guys like food.

- We're just having dinner.
Still have that vibe--

- Still awkward.

- Yeah. Still awkward.
We are eating our dinner,

and I see a stranger
walking towards our table,

not the Bollywood guy,
complete stranger.

He takes the purse,
and he starts running.

- My purse.

- Who is that guy?
- A thief, duh.

- Yeah, but who was that guy?

- And I'm like,
who is this guy?

Like, he wasn't even
part of our plans.

- An actual thief.

- I don't know--I don't know
who he was.

- You don't know
what's going on.

- It was happening so fast.
I'm like what?

You know, I just stood up
and started running after him.

- I'm unsure of the exact
details of this situation,

but I'm gonna stop that guy.

- I am also unsure
of the details

of the situation,
but get my purse.

- This is a real thief,
and you are chasing after him.

- Well, this could potentially
be very dangerous,

what you're doing.
- I didn't think of anything.

- You weren't thinking,
you're going on instinct.

- I was just going through
my instinct.

- Here's why this is amazing.

You set up this whole scam
to make yourself out

to be a fake hero.
Turns out you're a real hero.

- Real hero.

- Hey.

[intense music]

[music stops]

- So he, like, went away,

and he had dropped the purse.

I was like, "What was this?"

- When you come back...
- Yeah.

- Like, were you kind of like--

- I was like, "[clicks tongue]
I took care of it."

- Bro.
- I couldn't say bro,

but I was like,
"I took care of him."

- I believe this belongs
to you, my lady.

Don't worry, took care of it.

- And, actually,
her dad was very relieved,

and for the first time,
he looked happy.

- Thank you.
- Yeah.

- No, thank you
for releasing me

from this cold fatherly vibe.

You know, Abhishek, I must say,

between being late
to our first meeting

and then that weird thing
you did with the Wi-Fi,

it was definitely hate
at first sight.

- Right.
- Yes?

Yes. But now I look at you.
I see a brave hero.

I always said,
"I want my daughter

"to marry the kind of guy
who returned her purse

"after it's been stolen
to a group dinner

by a very real thief, and--"

- And for the first time
I was like,

even though this was not part
of our plan,

it kind of worked out
in our favor.

- Yeah.
- Cheers. To family.

- We were happy. We were,
you know, eating dinner,

and we had just started
talking a little bit

and we were just--when
we were about

to finish our dinner,

my Bollywood friend
shows up.

I was like, I don't know
what to do now, right?

Because I can't speak to him
because I don't know him,

not supposed to know him, so--
- Yeah.

- So now I'm doing, like,
a telepathy expressing

through my eyes
that don't do this.

[tense music]

* *

- Oh!

- He grabbed the purse,

but before
I could do anything...

- This one's mine, Abhishek.

I'll show you how it's done.

Come back with that purse,
criminal number two.

Abhishek!
- Oh!

- And he started beating him.

While he was beating him,
and he was, you know,

Bollywood fan was on the
floor,

he yelled out.

- Abhishek, help me.
[clicks tongue] Bro.

- Oh, my gosh.
- I'm like, "Oh, man, come on."

- Oh, my gosh.
- We're not supposed to know...

- Bollywood friend.
- Each other. Yeah.

- First of all,
Fenal's dad is a badass.

And he was probably inspired
by your act of heroism,

and maybe even felt a little
threatened or one upped by you,

and he was like,
"I've gotta step up here."

- Yeah. I think he was more--

- But he's also like,
"This restaurant sucks.

Everyone gets robbed here."
- Everyone gets robbed.

- And what's the dad?

- Oh, he's upset.

- You've been completely
revealed to be a con artist.

- We are leaving.

- No, no, no.

Please, Fenal, don't go.

Fenal!

- I sat at my home,
and I remember I was like,

"I have to say
something to her dad."

What I did was I sent an email,
and this time, I was like,

I'll be
a hundred percent honest

with what had happened,
who I am.

- My dearest Fenal's father,
words cannot express

how sorry I am for all that
has transpired between us.

The truth is, all that I did,

I did out of a true, abiding
love for your daughter.

Love makes us
all do crazy things,

from hiring our friends to
pretend to rob our girlfriend,

to turning off
our potential in-law's Wi-Fi.

Really sorry about that.
But the point is...

- We both really liked
each other,

and we really would like
your blessings

because without that, you know,

without that
we are not moving forward.

- This is a beautiful email.
- Yeah.

- And it's kind of
breaking my heart.

- Yeah.

- I mean, it's just--
you're laying it all out there.

- I hit Send
and closed my laptop.

- The next day, morning,
get a call, right?

And my girlfriend said
that her dad wants to meet me.

[clock ticking]

- So is that, like,
a new clock, or is it?

It's nice.

[clock ticking]

Look, I know I'll probably
never see you or Fenal

ever again after this,

but I just wanted to say,
I'm really sorry.

Again.

I know I screwed up.

- You're a good guy, Abhishek.

- What?

- You're a good guy.

You just need to work
a little on your planning.

What you have to understand...

[tender music]

Is that I'm sending my daughter

all the way from Mumbai
to the U.S.,

and that's huge for a dad.

- I understand.

- But both me
and her mother know

that if anyone
can make her happy, it's you.

- Thank you,
Mr. Fenal's father!

- Eh.

- I told you, you should
have just talked to him.

I told him to talk to you.

- Okay, good.

But please stop calling me
Mr. Fenal's father.

I have a name.

- Wow.
- Yeah.

So this time, I tried
to do a fist bump again.

- Why did you--why would you
do that?

Why would you risk everything
with your stupid fist bump?

- Wait a minute--wait a minute
Ed, wait a minute Ed.

[dramatic music]

* *

[music swells]

- Yes!
- Yes.

- Then we got married, yes.

- Seal the deal
with a fist bump.

- We sealed it
with the fist bump.

It started with the fist bump,
and not a good fist bump.

- Oh, my gosh.

- Wow. Okay.
And you--and you got married?

- I got married, yep.

- So you got married?
- Yep.

- You weren't late
to the wedding?

- No.
- Yeah.

And you've been
married ever since?

- I've been married ever since.
- How many years?

- It's been eight years now.

- You two have kids?
- Yeah.

I have two kids,
a son and a daughter.

And I can't wait for them
to grow up

so I can tell my version of
"How I Met Your Mother."

- This is a wonderful story.
- Thanks.

[upbeat Bollywood dance music]

* *

- What do you think, Ed?
Ready for another one?

- Yeah, let's do it.

Hello, Ronald.

- Hello, hello.
Great to be here.

- Can't wait to hear whatever
you have in store for us.

- Yeah.
So where does this story begin?

- So this story takes place
in Alexandria, Virginia.

- What year are we talking?

- 2002.

I'm in high school.

My parents were extremely
strict.

They were both--we were
all churchgoing people,

and I love being in church.
- Yeah.

- But my dad is
a former drill sergeant.

- Has your plaque been
thoroughly conquered, son?

- Oh.
- Whoa.

- My ma--and he's also
a preacher at the church,

so I'm a preacher's kid.

- Sir, yes, sir!

- At ease.

- And my mother
was a missionary,

a Sunday school teacher,
a woman of prayer, like,

so they're very,
very strict folks.

- Ronald, will you be ready
for breakfast at 0700?

- Mom, yes, Mom.

- I mean, these are
disciplinarians,

authority figures.

- Yeah.
- 100%.

- That's a triple whammy.
- Wow.

- So they thought,
"We are going to bring

a military ethos
into our household"?

- Yeah,
like a military theocracy.

- Were you a rule-follower
or a rebel?

- You kinda had to be
a rule-follower here

'cause there's like,
there's no--

there's no
real rebellious nature.

- Love you.
- Love you too, Mom.

- Left corner.

- What?

Dang, she's good.

- What I really learned to do
was try to figure out

how to subvert the rules

or basically,
don't say anything.

Like if you did something,
if you wanna do it,

there's a like don't ask,
don't tell policy.

Basically, a don't tell,
don't tell policy, if anything.

So I'm senior--I'm a senior,
and, like,

all of the rites of passage
that we have, I'm missing.

- Hey Ronald, are you planning

on going to Emily's
birthday party tonight?

- I am not allowed to go to
Emily's birthday party tonight.

- Didn't go to homecoming.

Didn't go to any sock hops,
any dances, any of that.

- Yeah.

- Ronald, who are you taking
to the spring fling?

- I will not be attending
the spring fling.

- And was there a real longing
to be at these events?

- Oh, absolutely.

- Ronald, do you wanna go watch
"Jackass: The Movie"

and make out in the back row?

- Wow.
I wish I could, but I can't.

- Ronald--

- No, nope, nope,
I can't do it.

- Like, my childhood
was 100% FOMO.

- * I just wish for one day *

* That I could have
what they have *

- Ronald, what's the rule
about "I Want" songs?

- No expressing longing
through song.

- No expressing longing
through song, sir.

- I long for nothing, sir.

- Very good, son.
And no gazing out the window.

Gazing out the window
is of the devil.

- Sir, yes, sir.

* What they have *

- I'm a senior,
and the culminating event

for a senior is going to prom.
- Prom, yeah.

- And I'm like,
"I gotta go to prom."

- Yes.

- And so I'm like,
"I'm going to prom."

I made up in my mind
I'm gonna go.

And what my plan was--
I was well-liked and known

enough around school
that I was like,

"If I make prom court,
then I could be prom king."

So being in prom court means
that you're a finalist

to make--be prom king or queen.

So I'm like, "If I make prom
court, I could be prom king,

so they'll have to let me go."

Because my parents have
this weird thought about,

like, about image
when it came to it,

"Well, he can't not show up
to win an award."

So voting comes out,
and I make prom court.

I'm super excited 'cause
I'm, like, first of all,

like, making prom court
is cool enough in high school.

I'm like, come on, man.

- What did you have to do
to make prom court?

- Man, you just had to exist
to be cool, man.

- That's it?
Just be a bit popular?

- That's it. And so I say,

"Okay, I'm gonna go to my mom
and I'm gonna ask her."

- That must have been scary.

I picture her flanked
by bodyguards, petting a cat.

- You may enter.

[tense music]

* *

I've been waiting for you.

- When did we get a cat?

- I have neither time
nor interest in small talk.

State your business.

- Yes, ma'am.
What's up Paul, John?

Good to see you guys again.
Y'all all right?

Hey, Mom, see, the thing is,
I made prom court.

And there's a really, really
good chance

that I could be crowned
prom king.

- Interesting.

- Ed, before I can even say
the next sentence, she goes.

- They can still crown
you prom king

if you're not going
to the prom?

[maniacal laughter]

- No, Mom, it's prom!

[laughter continues]
Please. It's prom!

- Wow.
- Mm.

* Wah wah *

- Yeah.
So I'm like, all right.

So that's when I decided
that I had to sneak the prom.

- Yeah, you had to.
- Whoa.

- Yeah, okay.
This is a turning point.

- Yes.
- Yeah.

'Cause you're a good kid,
Ronald.

- Yes. Yeah. I've never
done anything like this.

I don't sneak
out of the house.

Like, I didn't drink,
I didn't smoke.

I was like--I was a model kid
at that point.

I was like,
"I have to find another way."

So I start--I start planning.
So I say, "Okay, I gotta go."

My house was--it's kind of like
if you walk up the stairs,

there's a little roof,
and my window

is right above that little
roof that covers the stairs.

So my whole thought was I could
just come out of the window,

step out onto the roof,
drop down to the floor,

get over to prom.

Getting down is gonna be fine.

How am I gonna get back
in the house?

- Hold on, hold on.
Why is even getting down fine?

It sounds like--
how high are we talking?

- The window is
three stories up,

but it was like--
- Oh, Jesus.

[sneaky heist music]

- So there's danger involved?

- 100%.

- One of us had
to try it first.

Godspeed, buddy.

[suspenseful string trill]

* *

[splat]

Damn.

- Is the window plan--?
- The window plan is dead now.

- That's dead now.
- It is dead.

'Cause I mean,
I'm gonna die.

There's no way in the world.

I'm gonna try to climb back in
and die.

- So you figured that out?

- I figured that out
relatively quickly.

- Can I ask
a really dumb question?

- Sure.

- At any point,
did you consider

just tiptoeing down the stairs
and going out the front door?

[alarm beeps]

- Who's at the front door?

- Every door is alarmed,
but here's the problem

with getting out of the house.
There's a room in the house--

it's a converted garage.
It's finished.

If you go in and out
of that room,

there's a sensor, and it--
you know, it chimes,

just like when you open
your doors and all that.

- Yeah. Yeah.

- That was the room
in which, every night,

when my parents went to bed,

I would be lifting weights
and watching MTV.

- Right.
- So I would be in there.

And I realized
that I'm like, okay,

if I stay in this room
long enough,

I could basically be
in this room forever.

I could stay in this room
all night, lifting weights.

They don't really care
as long as I'm, like, not out.

- Yeah.
- Son.

- Yeah, Dad?

- Don't forget to try harder.
- Yeah, Dad.

- I'm gonna take this weight up
for my bedtime circuit.

- Night, Dad.

- Love you, Son.

- So I'm like, "Well, what
if I could be out of this room,

come back, and be in here
when they came back?"

But the only problem was,

every night,
before I went to bed,

I set the alarm, which means
that the chime was back on.

And my dad kind of, like,
was half-expecting--

even if he's dozing off--half
expecting to hear the chime

'cause that means
I'm leaving the room

and coming back upstairs.

[alarm beeps]

- Ronald, you trying
to sneak out?

- No, no, Dad.

You know what it was?
I just finished working out.

That's all it is, no worries.

- Whoa, this is turning
into "Mission Impossible."

- Yeah, exactly.

- I picture, like, lasers
like, all across,

and you like...

- It was very much that,

because now I have
to figure out

"How do I get out of this room
without that sensor going off?"

So then I finally discover
that there's a function

on the alarm called bypass.

And I felt like
a genius at this point.

I'm like,
"Oh, what if bypass means

you can bypass one
of the sectors in the house?"

And I was right.

Figured out
that this was sector 06,

put on the bypass,

and I walk in there
and the chime's not going off.

I'm like,
"I'm going to prom."

- Ronald.
- Yes.

- I want this to work for you.
- I appreciate that.

- You're going to prom.

- So here's the thing.
That's only one part,

because I still need a tux.

What I did was,
I started modeling the tux

for a tux company at school,

which means that
I got a free tux.

[upbeat music]

Yeah.
- You're a genius.

- Yeah.

So I took the tux,
and I put it

underneath the seat--
I had a minivan--

put it underneath the seats
of my minivan

and covered it with stuff.
Went and got a little haircut.

And haircuts aren't suspicious,
so I'm good there.

So the night comes,
and it's a Friday night,

which means that we have Friday
night youth service at church.

I'm, like, freaking out
and a couple people at church

knew I was going.

Well, I'm about to leave,
so I'm walking out of the door

and as I leave,
my friend's, like,

"Hey, yo,
have fun tonight, Ronald."

- What?
- Fun? At this hour?

- Have fun.
- You're like, "Be cool."

- Yeah, fun is reserved
for the five o'clock hour

on Saturdays only.

- Yeah. What are you
talking about, man?

Have fun doing what?

Driving home with my parents?

'Cause that's what
I'm about to do,

drive home with my parents.

- Yeah man.
That's exactly what I'm meant.

- I never liked him.

- Bad influence.
- Yeah. He not even saved.

- Oh, gosh.
- Whew. All right.

- We're good.
So get back home.

It's probably now
around 8:00, 8:30.

- How are you feeling
in this moment?

- Oh, yeah.
- Are you freaking out?

Are you sweating?
You're like--?

- I'm freaking out,
and it's like,

it's because it's really
all anticipation at this point.

- Your parents normally
go to bed around 8:30?

- Yeah. Nine o'clock
is like their bedtime

so I know
they're about to go to bed.

- Okay.

- So they go on upstairs
to bed.

I lift weights for probably
about, you know,

another 10 to 12 minutes or so.

Put the bypass on,
go on upstairs to my room.

- I'm about to go to sleep now.
Ha ha.

Oh, I'm putting on my pajamas
as we speak.

Boy, that yawning, boy.

That yawning got me
looking forward to the morning.

- "Oh, my,
I got my warm glass of milk."

- Sleep time.

You know what? That's what
happens when I dream awake.

You ever dream awake?
I'm doing it now.

Man, I'm a good son!
I'll see you in the morning.

'Cause that's the next time
that I will be doing anything

but being in my room.

- "Not gonna do things
that I've never done before."

[suspenseful music]

* *

- [exhales]

- And then, like, I sneak out.

- I am nervous right now.
- I am so nervous.

- I am like, okay,
pins and needles.

Can we just take a break for me
for a second?

I need a second here.

- So I get to the stairs.

[suspenseful music]

* *

And there's a creaky step,

which is like,
feels super cliché,

but it exists.

And at this point,
I can start moving,

so I'm, like, moving
a little faster,

get down to the first floor,
into the bypass room.

And I'm, like, taking
a deep breath

'cause I'm like,
"What if it doesn't work?"

- Oh, my God, it worked.

- Walk out that door,

outside, and I s--
the air smelled different.

It was smelling like grass
and rain and freedom.

- [whispering] Yes!

[triumphant music]

* *

- But you're also still--
but you're also still mindful.

I mean, you are--

- Well I'm in the front
of the house, so I feel better.

'Cause if they're asleep on the
back of the house, we're good.

- We're good?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Okay.

- So I get in the car.

And mind you, this is
2002, MapQuest directions.

I have to use paper
to drive to a place

I've never been before
at night in my car.

- How long was this drive?
- It was about 20--

It was a strong 25 minutes.
- Whoa.

- Yeah.
Like a strong 25 minutes.

- Because that's 25 minutes
of sheer terror.

- Okay. So that's a left
on Patricia Street.

Okay.

[car honks]
Oh, no!

Oh, God, no. Please.

- So you're on your way
to prom.

- Mm-hmm.

- In your pajamas?
You're praying.

- I was praying while driving.

- Okay. Jesus, I need you now.
Right?

And I know you're out there,
and I know you're listening.

- Ronald.
- Oh, sh--

Hi, Jesus. Jesus Christ.
What? I--sorry.

- Take it easy, dude.
Yeah, it's me.

Now tell me, who is this dude
supposed to be?

- Can you help me
this one time?

Please, God, I just need
to get the prom right now.

- Well, I mean I could...

I mean I've been known to.
- Mm-hmm.

- I mean, if you really
want me to, I guess I could--

- Uh, take the wheel?
- There you go.

- Ow!

How did you do that?

Oh, you are Jesus.
- Mm-hmm.

[angelic music]

- I'm there in the parking lot
in my pajamas,

everybody's inside, so I change
into my tux in the parking lot.

[gnarly saxophone solo]

* *

- * Uh-huh *

* *

I'm, like, about
to see everybody.

I'm about to walk
to my first high school dance.

This is gonna be nuts.
Like, what's about to happen?

Like this is--

- So crazy it just might work.

- * Show me the money *

* Show me the money *

* Yeah, ha, 'cause
it feels good right now *

- People were like,
"Oh, my God."

- He made it.

- "Yo, I didn't think
you were coming."

You know what I mean?

- Whoa, ladies and gentlemen,
Ronald's here.

[cheering and applause]

[dance music]

* *

- You're elated at this point.

- I'm flipping out.

- * Girl,
you are a perfect star *

* Got me working
'round the clock *

* Tick tock, tick tock *

* Oh, yeah,
we're both moving now *

- This is the life
you were meant to lead.

- Exactly. I'm like,
"Yes, I'm doing it. I'm here."

- * Ooh,
you've had me for a while *

* If I must confess *

* Yeah, just can't lose it,
no *

* I just can't lose it, no *

* Everything is changing *

- We love you, Ronald.

* I don't want to stay here
I just want you later *

- Now, you're just
with abandon.

- Yeah. I'm just dancing,
seeing people, they're like,

"Ronald, you're here."
I got a bunch of hugs.

- I just wanna say, no matter

what turns this story
may take from here...

- Mm-hmm.

- I'm so psyched
for you right now.

- Yeah.
- I appreciate that.

- And this is awesome. I like--

- I'm proud of you--
I'm proud of you.

- Really, yeah.
- But pictures.

- I'm like,
"Ma, I have to go to prom."

- Like, I had to avoid every
single camera in that place.

- And I'm like, "I just can't
wait to be with my friends."

- 'Cause this wasn't even
the time of Facebook,

but I only needed,
like, one picture

to show up in a yearbook.
But I did--I spent

the night, like,
basically avoiding cameras.

I be like, "Nah, I'm good."

"Ron, you wanna take
a picture?"

"Nah, I'm good. I'm good.
I'm good. I'm good."

* *

So, like,
they announce prom court.

- And your prom king is...

Ronald's good friend.
[cheering and applause]

- Could not have happened
to a better guy. Gotta go.

I mean it,
I mean it, I really do.

- I did not make prom king.

My good friend made it,
which was awesome.

At that point, the creeping
feeling at the back of my head

is, I gotta get back
in the house.

So I get
to the parking lot,

people are going
their separate ways,

I'm changing back into pajamas.

- Yeah. Yeah.

[upbeat heist music]

* *

- And I start driving home.
- Yeah.

- Drive all the way home,
pull up to the house.

House is still dark.

- Oh, great.

- So I'm like, "Okay, this
is good sign. Good sign."

So I park, make sure
everything's hidden in the car.

Walk up to the door,
open the door.

Bypass is still set, door's
still unlocked, we're good.

- Great.

- All right.
- Lock the door.

And then I move up
to the third floor.

That's when I get
to the creaky step...

[stair creaks]

[snoring]

And I still hear them
breathing, like, asleep.

- Still asleep.

- Whoa.
- Oh, my gosh.

- So I get by their door.

[suspenseful music]

* *

All the way back to my room.

And I go to sleep.

They never knew.

- Yes.
- Yes. You did it!

- That's the ending I wanted.
- Yeah.

So, 16 years later...

- What?

- I'm 34.
- Yeah.

- And I decide I'm like,
"Okay, you know what?

I really want
tell the story about prom."

But my mom, I remember, was,
like,

so offended
at the moment.

She was like, "Crooks,
criminals. I can't believe."

She's like, "You bypassed
the alarm system? Bypassed?"

So I told them, and ultimately,
they were cool about it.

- Wow.

- So great, but
a lot of anxiety there for me.

- Yeah.
- Yeah. I like it.

I'm glad you--I'm glad
you got away.

- Try being in it.
- Yeah.

- This feels like it was
a transformative moment

in your life.
- It 100% was.

- And so how did you just view

the world, view yourself,
differently after this?

- Yeah, generally,
I kind of just felt like--

I felt
more like a problem solver.

You know, like I felt like
I could--if

I--if there's a way
to do something,

I could find that way.

- It's a confidence booster.
- It really was.

It's exactly what it was.
It was a confidence booster.

- Ronald. Thank you...

- Thank you.

- For taking us
on this epic journey.

- Yeah.
If there's some young kid

out there that's debating
on whether to go to prom,

just set the bypass
and get outta there, kid.

- Set the bypass.

- Wow. Thank you.

- Thank you.

- * Working hard, man,
I'm working smart *

* Front of the crib
where the Benz is parked *

* Lamborghini
and Ferraris too *

* Tell my ex-girl
I'm sorry, boo *

* You's talking mean
and I won't lie *

* Once you see
that your boy is high *

* Hang diddy with it, man,
I won't stop *

* I won't quit and I'll... *
[pages whooshing]

- * This what it feels like *

* *

* This what it feels like *

- * And this
what it feels like *

* Oh yeah *

* Oh yeah *

* Oh, yeah *

* Yeah, this
what it feels like *

* Oh yeah *

* Oh yeah *

* Oh, yeah *

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