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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 2 00:00:02,419 --> 00:00:03,712 MAN [ON COMPUTER]: Oh, my God... 3 00:00:03,921 --> 00:00:09,259 it's full-on double rainbow all the way across the sky! 4 00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:11,637 Whoa! 5 00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:14,264 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 6 00:00:14,473 --> 00:00:17,059 Oh! Oh, my God! 7 00:00:17,267 --> 00:00:19,645 Whoo! 8 00:00:19,853 --> 00:00:21,647 What does this mean? 9 00:00:22,940 --> 00:00:25,359 It's so bright. 10 00:00:25,567 --> 00:00:27,778 Oh, my God, it's so bright and vivid. 11 00:00:27,986 --> 00:00:30,572 It's starting to look like a triple rainbow. 12 00:00:30,781 --> 00:00:32,366 Oh! 13 00:00:35,077 --> 00:00:37,162 Going streaking across the quad! 14 00:00:37,621 --> 00:00:39,873 [MAN LAUGHING] 15 00:00:45,170 --> 00:00:46,838 MAN: Coochie, coochie, coochie! 16 00:00:47,464 --> 00:00:50,300 [GIRLS LAUGHING] 17 00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:53,637 DAVID: Yeah. No, I know. Uh-huh. 18 00:00:53,845 --> 00:00:56,306 No, I'm not. I'm not. No, I'm paying attention. 19 00:00:56,723 --> 00:00:59,101 Mom, I'm listening. Just talk. 20 00:00:59,476 --> 00:01:01,812 - Tyrone. - Are you going trick-or-treating? 21 00:01:02,020 --> 00:01:03,564 - No, because... - Pow! 22 00:01:08,318 --> 00:01:09,653 [BUZZES] 23 00:01:35,012 --> 00:01:36,555 [INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE] 24 00:01:36,763 --> 00:01:38,724 [BABY SPITS UP] 25 00:01:39,516 --> 00:01:41,852 [BABY CRYING] 26 00:01:47,149 --> 00:01:48,734 [INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE] 27 00:02:08,629 --> 00:02:10,922 I'm in the car. I'm literally in the car. 28 00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:12,549 David, hey. David Clark. 29 00:02:12,758 --> 00:02:13,842 Rick Nathanson. 30 00:02:14,718 --> 00:02:17,721 - Uh, I'm sorry. - Little Ricky. We went to college together. 31 00:02:18,055 --> 00:02:19,640 Oh, shit. Hey, dude. 32 00:02:19,848 --> 00:02:23,268 We all took ecstasy at Dave Matthews one time and I tried to kiss you. 33 00:02:24,061 --> 00:02:25,854 That's right. I remember that. Yeah. 34 00:02:26,104 --> 00:02:27,147 Yeah. "Crash." 35 00:02:27,356 --> 00:02:28,440 Yup. 36 00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:31,568 Wow. I didn't recognize you. You look very different. 37 00:02:31,777 --> 00:02:33,862 I've gained a little bit of daddy weight. 38 00:02:34,071 --> 00:02:35,489 You know the drill. 39 00:02:35,697 --> 00:02:37,240 Actually, I don't, no. 40 00:02:37,866 --> 00:02:40,994 - No way. No way! Still a free agent. - Mm. 41 00:02:41,203 --> 00:02:44,373 You son of a bitch! You lucky son of a bitch. 42 00:02:44,581 --> 00:02:48,502 You lucky, lucky son of a bitch. Wow, that's amazing. Wow. 43 00:02:49,628 --> 00:02:52,089 Here. For old times' sake, huh? 44 00:02:52,964 --> 00:02:54,049 For daddy stress. 45 00:02:55,092 --> 00:02:56,385 You're still dealing weed? 46 00:02:56,927 --> 00:02:58,428 Best in Denver. 47 00:02:59,262 --> 00:03:01,306 That's fucking awesome. Oh, my God. 48 00:03:02,307 --> 00:03:03,433 That is so cool. 49 00:03:03,642 --> 00:03:05,352 - You're still at it. - Yeah. 50 00:03:05,560 --> 00:03:07,646 - I envy you, man. I do. - Ah. 51 00:03:07,854 --> 00:03:10,524 Look at you. No wife, no kids. 52 00:03:10,774 --> 00:03:12,067 - No responsibilities. - Mm-hm. 53 00:03:12,275 --> 00:03:14,569 Pfft, nothing. You got nothing. 54 00:03:14,778 --> 00:03:17,155 You could disappear tomorrow and who'd even know? 55 00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:19,908 - Oh, what I wouldn't give. - Yeah. 56 00:03:20,117 --> 00:03:22,369 Oh, hey, I didn't mean that in like, I mean... 57 00:03:22,577 --> 00:03:25,205 No. It's all right. It doesn't bother me. It's all right. 58 00:03:25,831 --> 00:03:27,582 - Great seeing you. - Great seeing you. 59 00:03:27,791 --> 00:03:29,376 Okay, bud, I believe in you. 60 00:03:29,584 --> 00:03:31,420 - Hey, David? - Yeah? 61 00:03:31,878 --> 00:03:34,256 - Facebook me. We'll get weird. - I don't think so. 62 00:03:34,464 --> 00:03:37,259 - Ha, ha! Get out of here. - Good luck with the family. 63 00:03:37,467 --> 00:03:38,927 [CELL PHONE RINGING] 64 00:03:39,136 --> 00:03:40,804 Oh, fuck. Fuck me. Fuck. Hey, great news. 65 00:03:41,012 --> 00:03:42,931 We're gonna get high and fuck tonight. 66 00:03:43,140 --> 00:03:45,392 I'm sorry, honey. Put Mommy on the phone, okay? 67 00:03:46,935 --> 00:03:48,645 [CAR ENGINE STARTS] 68 00:03:57,612 --> 00:04:00,449 [NATALIA KILLS' "PROBLEM" PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS] 69 00:04:00,657 --> 00:04:04,327 I'm-a take my skirt, boot, rings All off 70 00:04:04,536 --> 00:04:07,873 Skirt, boots, rings All off 71 00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:11,126 Ooh, baby, you so bad, boy Drive me mad, boy 72 00:04:11,334 --> 00:04:13,420 You don't care what they Say about me 73 00:04:13,628 --> 00:04:17,382 Girl is a problem Girl is a problem, problem 74 00:04:25,432 --> 00:04:26,808 Wow. 75 00:04:27,017 --> 00:04:29,728 - You dance super good. - Thanks. 76 00:04:29,936 --> 00:04:31,980 I'm Kymberly. With a Y. 77 00:04:32,189 --> 00:04:33,231 [CHUCKLES] 78 00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:35,525 I'm Rose. With an R. 79 00:04:36,193 --> 00:04:37,819 Is that your stage name? 80 00:04:38,028 --> 00:04:39,863 - My what? - Your stage name. 81 00:04:40,071 --> 00:04:43,325 To protect yourself from the creeps out there. You should pick one. 82 00:04:43,533 --> 00:04:48,413 You know, something simple but sexy and cute and short, maybe. 83 00:04:48,622 --> 00:04:51,082 - Do you have a nickname? - Totally! 84 00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:52,501 Great. Use that, because... 85 00:04:52,709 --> 00:04:54,628 I even got a tattoo of it. Do you wanna see? 86 00:04:54,836 --> 00:04:55,921 Uh, well, n... 87 00:04:56,129 --> 00:04:57,339 KYMBERLY: Check it out. 88 00:04:57,547 --> 00:05:01,092 ROSE: "Boner Garage." Oh, whoa. 89 00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:03,053 You got a little arrow there even. 90 00:05:03,261 --> 00:05:05,013 Is that not like the hottest? 91 00:05:05,222 --> 00:05:07,224 Boner Garage, you're up. 92 00:05:07,432 --> 00:05:11,561 Oh, look at that. So excited and full of life. That'll fade. 93 00:05:11,770 --> 00:05:16,650 Hey, Rose. I know you're "technically" on break, but I need a lap dance. Table five. 94 00:05:16,858 --> 00:05:19,694 Just don't get too close. The guy has two hook hands. 95 00:05:19,903 --> 00:05:20,946 [SIGHS] 96 00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:22,739 How did we let that guy back in here? 97 00:05:23,156 --> 00:05:25,408 Must have picked the locks. Ha, ha! 98 00:05:31,081 --> 00:05:32,499 [SIGHS] 99 00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:54,896 How was work this evening? 100 00:05:55,105 --> 00:05:56,189 ROSE: What do you care? 101 00:05:56,398 --> 00:05:57,524 I'm just asking. 102 00:05:57,732 --> 00:05:58,942 ROSE: Oh, just don't. 103 00:05:59,276 --> 00:06:01,194 Fine. Well, is your dummy boyfriend around? 104 00:06:01,403 --> 00:06:03,738 No. Jimmy's with his parents. Why? 105 00:06:03,947 --> 00:06:06,783 Well, because Jimmy still owes me 400 bucks, so... 106 00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:09,452 Maybe you shouldn't loan drugs to people. 107 00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:12,372 - All right. Good tip. - Mm-hm. 108 00:06:13,290 --> 00:06:16,459 I was thinking is that maybe you could help him out, settle his debt. 109 00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:20,755 - Not a fucking chance. - You'd be doing me a solid, neighbor. 110 00:06:20,964 --> 00:06:23,383 Oh, really? Neighbor? You're not a neighbor. 111 00:06:23,592 --> 00:06:26,595 You're a drug dealer whose apartment smells like cheese and feet. 112 00:06:26,803 --> 00:06:29,681 Mm. Yeah, it's a candle I got from Anthropologie. 113 00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:32,767 Cheesy Feet. That's what they call it. It's a bestseller. 114 00:06:34,311 --> 00:06:36,730 Oh, Rose, got a piece of your mail here. 115 00:06:37,314 --> 00:06:40,775 I'd lend you some money, but we're not neighbors. 116 00:06:40,984 --> 00:06:42,193 Oh, you're such a dick! 117 00:06:43,361 --> 00:06:45,113 Have fun dying alone, jerk. 118 00:06:45,322 --> 00:06:47,657 Have fun digging out the singles from your crotch. 119 00:06:47,866 --> 00:06:49,618 ROSE: My crotch only takes 20s, David. 120 00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:55,373 Hey, David. 121 00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:58,585 - Hi, Kenny. - I heard you and Mrs. O'Reilly fighting. 122 00:06:58,793 --> 00:07:01,838 It's called flirting, Kenny. You'll learn about it in college. 123 00:07:02,505 --> 00:07:05,050 What are you doing up? It's almost 2. Where's your mom? 124 00:07:05,258 --> 00:07:09,220 - Uh, she went for a drink. With a friend. - When? 125 00:07:09,930 --> 00:07:11,264 Last week. 126 00:07:11,473 --> 00:07:13,808 Uh, so I got the whole place to myself. 127 00:07:14,017 --> 00:07:16,728 Yeah. Rolling Han Solo for the weekend. 128 00:07:16,937 --> 00:07:18,897 DAVID: Mm-hm. 129 00:07:19,105 --> 00:07:21,942 Um, speaking of rolling, I was wondering if... 130 00:07:22,150 --> 00:07:25,612 - I don't sell to kids, Kenny. - I'm 18. I'm gonna get my own place soon. 131 00:07:25,820 --> 00:07:26,863 Not a kid, David. 132 00:07:27,572 --> 00:07:30,033 Yeah, you are. Take care. 133 00:07:30,659 --> 00:07:32,827 CASEY: Give me my fucking phone. 134 00:07:33,036 --> 00:07:35,956 - You guys are such assholes. MAN 1: Hey, baby. 135 00:07:36,164 --> 00:07:37,415 Leave her alone. 136 00:07:37,624 --> 00:07:39,424 MAN 1: Oh, I'm sorry, baby. KENNY: Unhand her. 137 00:07:40,543 --> 00:07:42,003 Hey, leave her alone. 138 00:07:42,212 --> 00:07:43,588 [GRUNTS] 139 00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:45,715 Goddamn it, Kenny. 140 00:07:45,924 --> 00:07:47,964 - Fucking tough guy Huh? MAN 2: You don't have to... 141 00:07:48,051 --> 00:07:49,219 DAVID: Hey! Hey, hey, hey. 142 00:07:49,427 --> 00:07:51,721 Easy, easy. What's going on here? 143 00:07:51,930 --> 00:07:55,976 - Mind your fucking business, old man. - Oh, my God. You're a dude. Ha, ha! 144 00:07:56,184 --> 00:07:59,562 That scared me. Your voice was so much deeper than your bone structure. 145 00:07:59,771 --> 00:08:01,773 These assholes are trying to steal my iPhone. 146 00:08:01,982 --> 00:08:04,025 You have an iPhone? Aren't you homeless? 147 00:08:04,234 --> 00:08:06,069 So? Fuck you, dude. 148 00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:09,030 Okay, this was fun. Carry on. 149 00:08:09,239 --> 00:08:10,865 - Come on, let's go. - What? No. 150 00:08:11,199 --> 00:08:13,326 These guys are picking on her and it's not fair. 151 00:08:13,535 --> 00:08:15,954 What you gonna do, white boy? You some type of hero? 152 00:08:16,162 --> 00:08:17,622 Not a hero. He's a dumb kid. 153 00:08:18,206 --> 00:08:21,710 I got an idea. Leave the girl alone. Just move along. Huh, what do you say? 154 00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:23,086 - "Move along"? DAVID: Yeah. 155 00:08:23,294 --> 00:08:26,756 - What are you, some kind of cop? - He's not a cop. He's actually really cool. 156 00:08:26,965 --> 00:08:28,216 - Thanks. - He's a drug dealer. 157 00:08:28,425 --> 00:08:30,552 - Really? - Goddamn it, Kenny. 158 00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:31,886 Give me your backpack. 159 00:08:32,095 --> 00:08:33,179 I don't wanna fight. 160 00:08:33,388 --> 00:08:36,850 Well, there's not gonna be a fight. See, you either give me the backpack... 161 00:08:37,058 --> 00:08:39,561 or I'm gonna stab you in the neck and take it. 162 00:08:39,769 --> 00:08:40,937 [WHISTLES] 163 00:08:41,146 --> 00:08:43,773 It's a real Sophie's choice here, huh? All right. 164 00:08:44,149 --> 00:08:45,275 Okay, backpack it is. 165 00:08:45,483 --> 00:08:46,568 If you wa... 166 00:08:49,070 --> 00:08:50,155 Run, Kenny! 167 00:08:52,407 --> 00:08:53,575 MAN 1: You're dead meat! 168 00:08:58,413 --> 00:09:02,333 Hey, sorry, I dropped my phone. Are we still going out tonight or what? 169 00:09:04,085 --> 00:09:05,712 Fucking shit! Shit! 170 00:09:06,629 --> 00:09:08,214 [MAN 2 LAUGHS] 171 00:09:08,423 --> 00:09:09,883 Oh, shit. 172 00:09:17,307 --> 00:09:18,975 Sorry. This is fucking dumb. 173 00:09:21,811 --> 00:09:23,897 [GROANS] 174 00:09:26,357 --> 00:09:28,151 MAN 1: Whoa-ho-ho, motherfucker. 175 00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:31,988 - We got you now. - Unh! 176 00:09:32,197 --> 00:09:35,283 MAN 1: Do whatever's in the safe too. MAN 2: Look at that. 177 00:09:35,492 --> 00:09:38,328 DAVID: It's not even my money. If you take that my boss will kill me. 178 00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:42,373 KENNY: You okay, David? I can help. I'll call the cops. 179 00:09:42,582 --> 00:09:44,000 No, I'm okay. 180 00:09:46,836 --> 00:09:48,922 [CELL PHONE BUZZING] 181 00:09:59,808 --> 00:10:00,850 DAVID: Hey! 182 00:10:01,476 --> 00:10:03,269 Whoa, what the...! Unh! 183 00:10:03,478 --> 00:10:05,480 MAN: When Mr. Brad calls, you answer! Get in there! 184 00:10:14,489 --> 00:10:17,534 DAVID: Please don't tell me where we're going. I love surprises. 185 00:10:18,284 --> 00:10:20,370 - All right. Okay. - Can I help you? 186 00:10:20,578 --> 00:10:22,664 DAVID: Hi. You ordered two black guys. 187 00:10:22,872 --> 00:10:24,833 Oh. Okay. This guy. 188 00:10:25,041 --> 00:10:27,377 No. David Clark here to see Mr. Gurdlinger, please? 189 00:10:27,585 --> 00:10:29,921 I'll tell him you're here. Can I get you something? 190 00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:31,923 Coffee. Tea. Fresca. 191 00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:33,174 DAVID: Hmm. 192 00:10:33,383 --> 00:10:35,802 You know what, a Fresca sounds really good. 193 00:10:36,010 --> 00:10:37,370 - You got it. DAVID: Appreciate it. 194 00:10:37,512 --> 00:10:39,973 Hold on one second. You guys want anything? It's on me. 195 00:10:40,181 --> 00:10:41,307 Replenishes electrolytes. 196 00:10:41,516 --> 00:10:44,185 Don't want you cramping up when you jerk each other off. 197 00:10:44,394 --> 00:10:45,478 Nice meeting you. 198 00:10:49,065 --> 00:10:50,316 Easy. 199 00:10:50,733 --> 00:10:52,360 Easy. Oof! 200 00:10:52,569 --> 00:10:54,863 Okay. I'm gonna hang out here if that's all right. 201 00:10:55,071 --> 00:10:57,115 Oh, thank you for that. That's very helpful. 202 00:10:57,323 --> 00:11:00,076 Oh! David Clark. 203 00:11:00,285 --> 00:11:03,246 You're a hard man to find. Take it easy on the plastic. 204 00:11:03,454 --> 00:11:05,748 Whoa, Brad, what the fuck is this? 205 00:11:06,583 --> 00:11:09,127 Look, man, I was gonna call you back. Do not kill me. 206 00:11:09,335 --> 00:11:11,455 - I got robbed, okay. I swear. BRAD: Whoa, whoa, whoa. 207 00:11:11,629 --> 00:11:12,755 What are you...? What...? 208 00:11:12,964 --> 00:11:14,007 Oh, the plastic? 209 00:11:14,299 --> 00:11:15,425 Yeah, the plastic. 210 00:11:15,633 --> 00:11:16,676 I've seen Dexter. 211 00:11:16,885 --> 00:11:21,472 Buddy, I'm putting in a new skylight, you idiot. Ha, ha. 212 00:11:21,973 --> 00:11:25,059 You should have seen your face just now. You shit a brick. 213 00:11:25,602 --> 00:11:27,353 Well, what am I supposed to think, man? 214 00:11:27,562 --> 00:11:30,356 You've got these thugs throwing a bag over my head. Come on. 215 00:11:30,732 --> 00:11:33,109 I'm sorry about that. I didn't mean to freak you out. 216 00:11:33,318 --> 00:11:36,321 - It's fine. - You do know I've killed people though? 217 00:11:36,946 --> 00:11:38,072 Yeah, Brad, I know. 218 00:11:38,281 --> 00:11:39,490 Ha-ha. All right, have a seat. 219 00:11:41,159 --> 00:11:42,619 DAVID: Whoa, what the fuck is that? 220 00:11:42,827 --> 00:11:46,080 What? Oh, my orca? Yeah, I bought an orca. 221 00:11:46,289 --> 00:11:47,498 [SIGHS] 222 00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:49,334 I make a lot of money. 223 00:11:50,793 --> 00:11:51,961 DAVID: So you bought a whale? 224 00:11:52,170 --> 00:11:53,671 Well, I don't like sports cars. 225 00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:56,341 - Yeah, yeah. - So where's my money, David? 226 00:11:56,674 --> 00:11:59,177 Come on, man. We go back. 227 00:11:59,385 --> 00:12:01,346 We do go back. But it's not college anymore. 228 00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:03,598 We're not selling lids out of my dorm room. 229 00:12:03,806 --> 00:12:06,351 And you owe me $43,000. 230 00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:09,562 I told you, I got robbed, Brad. They took everything I had, man. 231 00:12:09,771 --> 00:12:12,857 This week's drop, 22 grand of my money that I'd saved. I'm fucked. 232 00:12:13,066 --> 00:12:18,154 Listen, this is a fucked-up situation. But I might have a win-win for both of us. 233 00:12:18,863 --> 00:12:21,449 - Great. - I have a smidge of very choice... 234 00:12:21,658 --> 00:12:23,326 Mari-ju-ana down in Mexico... 235 00:12:23,534 --> 00:12:25,411 and I need it here by Sunday night. 236 00:12:25,620 --> 00:12:28,456 My regular courier is out because he got gunned down. 237 00:12:28,665 --> 00:12:29,916 That's where you come in. 238 00:12:30,375 --> 00:12:32,710 You could be my mule. I need someone I can trust. 239 00:12:32,919 --> 00:12:36,506 Go to Mexico, bring it back by Sunday night, not only will I forgive your debt... 240 00:12:36,714 --> 00:12:41,094 I will pay you a standard courier fee of $100,000. 241 00:12:41,302 --> 00:12:44,347 You're gonna give me 100 grand to move a smidge across the border? 242 00:12:45,223 --> 00:12:47,433 Smidge and a half. It's nothing. 243 00:12:47,642 --> 00:12:50,645 Dude, I got rolled by the fucking cast of Annie. 244 00:12:50,853 --> 00:12:54,399 I come walking in here and you ask me to be an international drug dealer. 245 00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:57,860 This is easy money, David. All you gotta do is pop down to Mexico... 246 00:12:58,069 --> 00:13:01,531 go to this address, tell them you're there to pick up for Pablo Chacon. 247 00:13:01,739 --> 00:13:03,825 - Who the fuck is Pablo Chacon? - I am. 248 00:13:04,033 --> 00:13:06,869 [SPEAKS IN SPANISH THEN CHUCKLES] 249 00:13:07,078 --> 00:13:10,748 You don't get respect from Mexicans when your name is Brad Gurdlinger, right? 250 00:13:10,957 --> 00:13:15,503 I mean, that's white in any language. See? Big Bad Brad thought of everything. 251 00:13:18,214 --> 00:13:22,093 I don't know. I don't think so, man. This is way out of my league. 252 00:13:22,302 --> 00:13:23,678 It's a federal crime. 253 00:13:23,886 --> 00:13:27,807 If I try to cross the border with more than a pound, you're talking like, um... 254 00:13:28,975 --> 00:13:32,020 Twenty-five years in Mexican prison. If you get a happy judge. 255 00:13:32,228 --> 00:13:34,230 Yeah. Jeez. Not good. 256 00:13:34,439 --> 00:13:36,941 - Although, you're forgetting one thing. - What? 257 00:13:37,150 --> 00:13:39,527 You don't have a fucking choice. 258 00:13:42,697 --> 00:13:45,450 KENNY: So now you're gonna become an even bigger drug dealer? 259 00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:47,994 Drug smuggler, Kenny. There's a difference. 260 00:13:51,581 --> 00:13:54,000 You're probably gonna get searched at the border. 261 00:13:54,625 --> 00:13:56,711 No offense, you look like a total drug dealer. 262 00:13:56,919 --> 00:13:59,589 - No shit. Thanks, dude. - You could wear a disguise. 263 00:14:00,256 --> 00:14:01,591 - What? - A disguise. 264 00:14:01,799 --> 00:14:03,468 That's what I thought. A disguise. 265 00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:06,679 I dress up. What's the hot Halloween outfit these days? 266 00:14:06,888 --> 00:14:09,599 Bane from Batman? Someone like that? Wear something over my face? 267 00:14:09,807 --> 00:14:12,568 [AS BANE] There's no drugs in here. You've got nothing to worry about. 268 00:14:12,769 --> 00:14:13,895 [IN NORMAL VOICE] Great idea. 269 00:14:14,103 --> 00:14:15,521 [HORN HONKING] 270 00:14:15,730 --> 00:14:18,316 Hey, pardon me. Hi. 271 00:14:18,524 --> 00:14:23,154 Hate to bug you, but I'm trying to get the fam to the zoo and I'm lost as all heck. 272 00:14:23,363 --> 00:14:24,906 Fuck off, real-life Flanders. 273 00:14:25,531 --> 00:14:30,244 It's my fault. When it comes to reading maps, I sure can be an old flibbertigibbet. 274 00:14:30,453 --> 00:14:31,746 [WOMAN CHUCKLES] 275 00:14:31,954 --> 00:14:33,706 Hey. No parking here, sir. 276 00:14:33,915 --> 00:14:35,416 Perfect. Fucking tourists. 277 00:14:35,625 --> 00:14:38,044 Oh, jeez. I'm awful sorry, officer. 278 00:14:38,252 --> 00:14:40,171 I don't know which way is up around here. 279 00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:43,007 No problem. Our city can get confusing sometimes. 280 00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:44,759 MAN: Trying to find our way to the zoo. 281 00:14:44,967 --> 00:14:48,805 It's two blocks up that way, take a left, two blocks... 282 00:14:54,769 --> 00:14:55,853 Holy fucking shit. 283 00:14:57,772 --> 00:14:59,190 Thank you, dickheads. 284 00:15:00,316 --> 00:15:03,444 [OVER SPEAKERS] Hey little lady, don't you say maybe 285 00:15:03,653 --> 00:15:06,531 Rose, the guy at the bar asked for you by name. 286 00:15:06,739 --> 00:15:08,116 Treat him nice. 287 00:15:08,324 --> 00:15:10,576 Baby, I�m a show you how to 288 00:15:10,785 --> 00:15:11,869 MAN: Yeah! 289 00:15:12,245 --> 00:15:13,955 Hi. I'm Rose. 290 00:15:14,747 --> 00:15:17,708 - Hi. Hi. - What...? Oh, please. No. 291 00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:19,961 - No, Rose. Hey, Rose, Rose. - No, no, no, no. 292 00:15:20,169 --> 00:15:22,505 - Please. Listen to me. - Duh, duh, duh, duh. 293 00:15:22,964 --> 00:15:24,632 Ch-ch-ch-chuh. 294 00:15:27,844 --> 00:15:29,303 You asshole. 295 00:15:30,721 --> 00:15:33,391 Don't worry. You don't have to get naked and all that stuff. 296 00:15:34,183 --> 00:15:36,936 - Unless you want to, you know. Oof! - Mm-hm. 297 00:15:37,145 --> 00:15:38,396 - Fuck. - What do you want'? 298 00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:43,526 How would you like to spend 4th of July weekend making 10 grand? 299 00:15:43,734 --> 00:15:44,819 - What? - Rose, listen. 300 00:15:45,027 --> 00:15:47,738 All I'm asking is that you go to Mexico with me. 301 00:15:48,364 --> 00:15:51,117 All right? And then we drive home together in an RV. 302 00:15:51,325 --> 00:15:52,410 ROSE: Mm-hm. 303 00:15:52,618 --> 00:15:55,079 - And that RV has some pot in it. - Drug dealing? 304 00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:58,040 No, it's not drug dealing. It's not. No, it's smuggling. 305 00:15:58,249 --> 00:16:00,418 - Are you out of your mind? - Rose, listen to me. 306 00:16:00,751 --> 00:16:05,339 Now, me crossing the border by myself, huge red flag. Huge, all right? 307 00:16:05,548 --> 00:16:07,633 But families, they don't get a second look. 308 00:16:07,842 --> 00:16:10,720 So, Rose, I need you to be my wife. 309 00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:13,890 That is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. 310 00:16:14,098 --> 00:16:17,643 Look, Rose, 10,000 bucks, and your flight's already paid for. 311 00:16:17,852 --> 00:16:19,187 You can't buy me. 312 00:16:19,395 --> 00:16:22,356 I'm not buying you, all right? I'm renting you. 313 00:16:22,565 --> 00:16:23,608 ROSE: Hmm. 314 00:16:23,900 --> 00:16:24,984 Like Pretty Woman. 315 00:16:26,194 --> 00:16:28,029 Pretty Woman? She was a prostitute. 316 00:16:28,237 --> 00:16:29,906 And I don't trust you. 317 00:16:34,452 --> 00:16:37,163 - What did she say? - What the fuck do you think? She said no. 318 00:16:37,371 --> 00:16:41,334 Cool. So I guess it's just us, then. A little father and son bonding trip to Mexico. 319 00:16:41,542 --> 00:16:45,463 Are you kidding? You and me alone in a van? It'll look like the pervert Olympics. 320 00:16:45,796 --> 00:16:47,882 No way. Absolutely not. No, we need a girl. 321 00:16:48,090 --> 00:16:51,677 And unless you can think of someone that can leave town tomorrow, I'm fucked. 322 00:16:53,095 --> 00:16:54,472 I know a girl. 323 00:16:58,309 --> 00:17:00,269 I don't get it. What's in it for me? 324 00:17:00,478 --> 00:17:04,690 I'm thinking a roof over your head, some actual hot food. That'd be good enough. 325 00:17:04,899 --> 00:17:06,150 I'm thinking 1000. 326 00:17:07,693 --> 00:17:09,695 Fine, 1000 bucks, but that's it. 327 00:17:09,904 --> 00:17:14,116 Great. And if we get caught I'll say you drugged and kidnapped me. Cool? 328 00:17:15,201 --> 00:17:18,246 Yeah, it's cool. Yeah, that's fine. But that's it. 329 00:17:18,788 --> 00:17:20,790 Kenny, meet your new sister. 330 00:17:21,582 --> 00:17:23,793 This is great. I've always wanted a sister. 331 00:17:26,420 --> 00:17:29,465 - Get it off me. Get it off! Get off! - Hey, come on. Let go. 332 00:17:29,674 --> 00:17:32,385 - Come on. We gotta clean you up. - What's wrong with you? 333 00:17:32,593 --> 00:17:35,304 - Don't say that. - I didn't mean to make her uncomfortable. 334 00:17:35,513 --> 00:17:36,639 [OVER SPEAKERS] Wild child 335 00:17:36,847 --> 00:17:38,391 MAN: Boner Garage! 336 00:17:38,599 --> 00:17:41,143 Going all out Going for broke 337 00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:45,606 Oh, great. Rose, I'm glad I caught you. 338 00:17:45,815 --> 00:17:49,026 I wanted to go over a couple of minor policy changes... 339 00:17:49,235 --> 00:17:52,029 - that we have here at the club. - Like what? 340 00:17:52,238 --> 00:17:55,575 TODD: Like, I want you to start having sex with the customers for money. 341 00:17:56,450 --> 00:17:59,579 What? That's totally illegal, Todd. 342 00:17:59,787 --> 00:18:01,289 Come on, what are you gonna do? 343 00:18:01,497 --> 00:18:06,085 I gotta stay competitive with those fuckers who opened up across the street. 344 00:18:06,294 --> 00:18:07,712 You mean the Apple Store? 345 00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:09,380 Yeah, and they're killing us. 346 00:18:09,589 --> 00:18:10,798 Oh, God. 347 00:18:11,007 --> 00:18:13,968 That's it. I can't do it. I quit. 348 00:18:14,594 --> 00:18:15,886 Did you hear the good news? 349 00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:18,347 Now we get to fuck the customers for money. 350 00:18:18,639 --> 00:18:21,058 - Wha...? - Boner Garage loves it. 351 00:18:21,267 --> 00:18:25,354 I'm out of here. I am out of here. I quit. 352 00:18:35,573 --> 00:18:36,699 Fuck. 353 00:18:37,241 --> 00:18:38,367 Fuck. 354 00:18:40,036 --> 00:18:41,329 [SIGHS] 355 00:18:44,165 --> 00:18:45,875 [GROANS] 356 00:19:01,265 --> 00:19:04,560 So, Casey, I guess it's nice for you to get your hair out. 357 00:19:04,935 --> 00:19:06,270 Being homeless and all... 358 00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:10,107 I'm not homeless, fuck tard. I have a home. But I left because my parent... 359 00:19:10,316 --> 00:19:14,570 Shut up, okay? Please. I don't need to hear your hard-luck back story right now. 360 00:19:14,779 --> 00:19:19,367 I rented Precious on Netflix eight months ago and I still haven't watched the thing. 361 00:19:19,575 --> 00:19:20,660 Here. You know what? 362 00:19:20,868 --> 00:19:24,205 Just give me a little peace and quiet and buy yourself some new clothes. 363 00:19:24,413 --> 00:19:27,708 You know, the kind of stuff that loved children wear. Not this garbage. 364 00:19:27,917 --> 00:19:29,460 All right? Thank you. 365 00:19:29,669 --> 00:19:30,836 Whoa, whoa, whoa, stop. 366 00:19:32,463 --> 00:19:34,590 You're fine. You already like a total dipshit. 367 00:19:36,008 --> 00:19:38,928 Here. You're gonna need it. You look like Eminem from 8 Mile. 368 00:19:39,136 --> 00:19:40,179 [CHUCKLES] 369 00:19:40,388 --> 00:19:42,515 Go with her. Make sure she doesn't steal it. 370 00:19:42,723 --> 00:19:44,600 And stay the fuck out of Hot Topic. 371 00:19:45,142 --> 00:19:46,394 WOMAN: David Clark? 372 00:19:47,144 --> 00:19:49,397 Okay, what are we doing today? 373 00:19:49,605 --> 00:19:52,566 Yeah, I say, give me something that says: 374 00:19:52,775 --> 00:19:56,946 "I get up every morning at 5:30 and commute for an hour to a bullshit job..." 375 00:19:57,196 --> 00:19:59,740 where my boss expects me to kiss his balls all day... 376 00:19:59,949 --> 00:20:03,953 so I can afford to keep my ungrateful kids decked out in Dora the Explorer shit... 377 00:20:04,161 --> 00:20:06,321 and my wife up to her fat ass in self-help videos... 378 00:20:06,539 --> 00:20:09,291 "until the day I get the courage to put a shotgun in my mouth." 379 00:20:09,458 --> 00:20:10,918 [MAN CLEARS THROAT] 380 00:20:11,794 --> 00:20:13,003 Right here. 381 00:20:13,921 --> 00:20:15,840 Yeah. That's it. That's the one. 382 00:20:47,037 --> 00:20:48,205 All right. 383 00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:01,218 Get a full body check. 384 00:21:05,222 --> 00:21:06,599 [BEEPS] 385 00:21:09,185 --> 00:21:10,603 [BEEPS] 386 00:21:20,404 --> 00:21:21,906 Sorry. 387 00:21:23,699 --> 00:21:25,784 Hi, you folks have everything you need? 388 00:21:26,202 --> 00:21:27,411 Oh, you betcha! 389 00:21:27,620 --> 00:21:31,665 Yeah, we're heading out on a family vacay here, you know? Off to see grandma, huh? 390 00:21:32,458 --> 00:21:34,001 Well, you have a lovely family. 391 00:21:34,210 --> 00:21:37,505 Oh, thank you very much. Yeah, this is my son, Kenny Miller, right here. 392 00:21:37,713 --> 00:21:40,049 - And my lovely daughter... - Casey? 393 00:21:40,257 --> 00:21:43,344 Casey. Casey Miller, that's right. And I'm David Miller. 394 00:21:43,552 --> 00:21:44,595 We're the Millers. 395 00:21:44,803 --> 00:21:48,641 Yeah, now, you know, I got my hands full here. Couple of kooky teenagers. 396 00:21:49,099 --> 00:21:52,645 Yeah, I'm going through all those typical teenage girl issues like: 397 00:21:52,853 --> 00:21:55,481 Finals and college applications... 398 00:21:55,814 --> 00:21:57,983 and am I gonna get asked to prom. 399 00:21:58,192 --> 00:22:00,694 Plus, I haven't gotten my period in two months... 400 00:22:00,986 --> 00:22:03,906 which is really weird because I've mostly just been doing anal. 401 00:22:04,114 --> 00:22:05,366 [KENNY COUGHS] 402 00:22:05,574 --> 00:22:08,494 Ha-ha-ha! Oh, that's enough. 403 00:22:09,995 --> 00:22:12,706 Well, thank you for your help, "Natalie." 404 00:22:13,582 --> 00:22:15,251 Take your seats, please. 405 00:22:17,503 --> 00:22:18,629 You fucking kidding me? 406 00:22:18,837 --> 00:22:20,798 ROSE: I'm good. I got it. Right over here. Thanks. 407 00:22:21,006 --> 00:22:22,925 Thank you. Sorry. 408 00:22:23,133 --> 00:22:27,555 - Honey! Hi! You made it! - Mm-hm. Eat a dick. 409 00:22:27,763 --> 00:22:29,265 - Sorry, sorry. Okay. - Mm-mm. 410 00:22:29,473 --> 00:22:32,768 - Wow, you look really, like... - Don't. Just don't, all right? 411 00:22:33,143 --> 00:22:34,186 Hi, Mom. 412 00:22:34,395 --> 00:22:35,563 - Jesus. DAVID: Mm-hm. 413 00:22:36,188 --> 00:22:37,731 And who's that? 414 00:22:37,940 --> 00:22:40,734 Well, that's your daughter. Casey. 415 00:22:41,235 --> 00:22:42,278 (H9)'- 416 00:22:42,486 --> 00:22:43,779 ROSE: Mm-hm. 417 00:22:43,988 --> 00:22:45,281 I want 30,000 now. 418 00:22:45,823 --> 00:22:48,117 - No fucking way. - Okay. Have a safe flight. 419 00:22:48,325 --> 00:22:52,288 What? No. Okay. Fine! Fine. Bloodsucker. 420 00:22:52,496 --> 00:22:56,417 Mm. All right, happy wife, happy life. Hi, kids! 421 00:22:57,710 --> 00:22:59,920 - Make room for your mother. - Okay. 422 00:23:02,756 --> 00:23:04,341 - Hey! - Whoa! No, I didn't...! 423 00:23:04,550 --> 00:23:07,511 What the fuck? Don't you ever think that you can ever... 424 00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:10,014 Family meeting. Let's go. Get in the back. Go. 425 00:23:10,222 --> 00:23:11,932 KENNY: I didn't mean to. - I don't care. 426 00:23:12,141 --> 00:23:16,186 CASEY: He just hit me in the fucking face. - Will you march? No one wants to hear... 427 00:23:18,897 --> 00:23:20,816 [WHISPERING] What the fuck?! Are you kidding me? 428 00:23:21,066 --> 00:23:23,444 Oh, come on, relax, Dorothy. Jesus. 429 00:23:23,652 --> 00:23:26,196 We're not at the border. Who cares what they think? 430 00:23:26,405 --> 00:23:29,325 It's about not drawing attention to ourselves, you little hobo. 431 00:23:29,908 --> 00:23:31,827 Hey! Don't talk to her like that. 432 00:23:32,036 --> 00:23:35,116 [IN NORMAL VOICE] Rose, relax, okay? The only thing you need to worry about... 433 00:23:35,247 --> 00:23:37,958 is making them think you could be someone's mother. Okay? 434 00:23:38,167 --> 00:23:40,544 Are you kidding me? I can do this shit in my sleep. 435 00:23:40,753 --> 00:23:42,087 Excuse me. 436 00:23:44,298 --> 00:23:47,801 Lord, we thank thee for the blessing of this family vacation. 437 00:23:48,093 --> 00:23:50,554 May David find his bliss and bring us home back safely. 438 00:23:50,763 --> 00:23:53,891 May Kenny and Casey fortify their sibling bond... 439 00:23:54,099 --> 00:23:57,186 over the warm glow of our devoted hearts. 440 00:23:57,603 --> 00:24:01,231 And may this entire airplane find safe passage... 441 00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:03,484 and a bountiful life. 442 00:24:04,068 --> 00:24:05,361 Even the Jews. 443 00:24:06,737 --> 00:24:08,197 - Amen. DAVID: That was a good one. 444 00:24:08,405 --> 00:24:09,865 That was beautiful. 445 00:24:10,074 --> 00:24:12,368 - Oh. - I wish my family was more like that. 446 00:24:12,576 --> 00:24:14,244 ROSE: Oh, stop. Don't. 447 00:24:14,453 --> 00:24:17,873 No, no, no. Come on. Come in here. Hug it out. Don't you cry. 448 00:24:18,082 --> 00:24:19,208 Aw, honey. 449 00:24:20,167 --> 00:24:21,543 [MOUTHS] Fuck you. 450 00:24:21,835 --> 00:24:23,587 All better now? Okay. 451 00:24:23,837 --> 00:24:27,925 Oh, and don't forget you can use Chex Mix as a surprise casserole topping. 452 00:24:28,133 --> 00:24:29,927 Adds that real special crunch. 453 00:24:30,135 --> 00:24:32,012 - Wow, what a great tip. - Sure! 454 00:24:32,221 --> 00:24:33,347 Bye-bye. 455 00:24:34,223 --> 00:24:36,266 Holy shit, where did that come from? 456 00:24:36,475 --> 00:24:39,311 It's five summers with my Aunt Barb in Oklahoma. 457 00:24:39,520 --> 00:24:40,604 That was amazing. 458 00:24:40,813 --> 00:24:42,564 Calm down. It wasn't that great. 459 00:24:42,773 --> 00:24:46,318 Ah, god-damn it. Brad said the RV was supposed to be out here waiting for us. 460 00:24:46,527 --> 00:24:48,529 Anybody sees a camper, just let me know. 461 00:24:49,154 --> 00:24:50,197 Whoa. 462 00:25:01,208 --> 00:25:02,876 What the fuck is this? 463 00:25:03,085 --> 00:25:04,211 This thing is ridiculous. 464 00:25:04,420 --> 00:25:05,921 [ENGINE STARTS] 465 00:25:06,130 --> 00:25:07,756 - Can you drive this? - I don't know. 466 00:25:07,965 --> 00:25:09,341 How fast does it go? 467 00:25:41,915 --> 00:25:44,042 Why the hell are you reading that thing? 468 00:25:46,044 --> 00:25:48,881 Because I like it. It's fun. 469 00:25:49,089 --> 00:25:50,382 It's informative. 470 00:25:50,591 --> 00:25:52,509 "It's fun." That's your idea of fun, huh? 471 00:25:52,718 --> 00:25:55,345 I have a VCR manual from the '90s you should check out. 472 00:25:55,554 --> 00:25:58,307 - I think you'd probably enjoy that. - Fireworks! 473 00:25:58,515 --> 00:26:00,058 Oh, my GOG, guys, look! 474 00:26:00,267 --> 00:26:02,853 Fireworks! Hey! Fireworks! Pull over! There's fireworks! 475 00:26:03,061 --> 00:26:04,688 We're not pulling over for fireworks. 476 00:26:04,897 --> 00:26:07,274 - Oh, oh, stern. - What? It's Fourth of July weekend. 477 00:26:07,483 --> 00:26:09,443 Don't be such a grumpy asshole. Pull over! 478 00:26:09,651 --> 00:26:10,903 No. Absolutely not. 479 00:26:11,153 --> 00:26:12,780 Oh, come on, I vote fireworks too. 480 00:26:12,988 --> 00:26:15,949 See? Even this loser wants fireworks. Fireworks! 481 00:26:16,158 --> 00:26:18,494 - Fireworks! Fireworks! - The kids wanna see fireworks. 482 00:26:18,702 --> 00:26:20,542 CASEY & KENNY: Fireworks! Fireworks! Fireworks! 483 00:26:20,704 --> 00:26:21,830 Okay, enough! 484 00:26:25,167 --> 00:26:28,754 Enough! Let's get something straight right now! 485 00:26:28,962 --> 00:26:30,881 You are not my kids! Okay? 486 00:26:31,298 --> 00:26:33,634 You are not my wife! And we are not a family! 487 00:26:33,842 --> 00:26:35,260 All right? This is a job! 488 00:26:35,469 --> 00:26:37,012 We are not the Brady Bunch! 489 00:26:37,221 --> 00:26:39,932 I'm Marky Mark and y'all are the Funky Bunch! 490 00:26:40,849 --> 00:26:43,519 - The what? - I'm the boss. You hear me? 491 00:26:43,811 --> 00:26:48,649 So cut the shit! Otherwise, I will turn this RV around immediately! 492 00:26:48,941 --> 00:26:52,486 And we will drive straight home. No drugs for anyone! 493 00:26:52,945 --> 00:26:54,029 This vacation sucks. 494 00:26:54,238 --> 00:26:55,614 You... 495 00:26:56,114 --> 00:26:57,658 It is not a vacation! 496 00:26:57,866 --> 00:26:59,034 [ROSE LAUGHS] 497 00:27:04,331 --> 00:27:05,457 [FIREWORK POPS] 498 00:27:05,666 --> 00:27:07,584 There we go. You fucking happy? Come on. 499 00:27:18,804 --> 00:27:21,181 DAVID: Here we go. Everybody just be cool. All right? 500 00:27:22,266 --> 00:27:23,475 Hey there! 501 00:27:23,684 --> 00:27:26,937 You got the Miller family here, reporting for leisure, sir. 502 00:27:27,145 --> 00:27:29,398 We're just heading down to Mexico way to do a... 503 00:27:31,275 --> 00:27:35,863 Oh. Okay. Great. Fantastic. All right, thank you. Take care, now. All right. 504 00:27:36,947 --> 00:27:41,493 Whoo! Did you see that? I told you this RV would work! We totally blend. 505 00:27:41,702 --> 00:27:44,413 ROSE: Congratulations. You just snuck into Mexico. 506 00:27:50,460 --> 00:27:51,503 CASEY: What is this? 507 00:27:51,712 --> 00:27:53,380 - A meth lab? DAVID: It's Mexico, Casey. 508 00:27:53,589 --> 00:27:55,340 ROSE: That's a donkey, donkey, donkey. 509 00:27:55,799 --> 00:27:59,094 - This RV blends right in, David. DAVID: Will you calm down? 510 00:27:59,386 --> 00:28:02,389 ROSE: This thing is ginormous. I mean, it's ridiculous. 511 00:28:09,229 --> 00:28:11,389 NAVIGATION VOICE: You have arrived at your destination. 512 00:28:11,565 --> 00:28:13,483 The route guidance is now finished. 513 00:28:13,692 --> 00:28:15,694 Are you sure these guys are expecting you? 514 00:28:15,903 --> 00:28:17,613 Rose, we're good. All right? 515 00:28:17,821 --> 00:28:21,158 Now will you calm down? These are Brad's guys. Nothing to worry about. 516 00:28:21,366 --> 00:28:22,951 Open Sesame. Here we go. 517 00:28:23,535 --> 00:28:24,703 Hey! 518 00:28:25,454 --> 00:28:27,414 Hey, I think that guy was in La Bamba. 519 00:28:28,290 --> 00:28:31,126 Is that a little football over there? That's fun. Soccer. 520 00:28:31,335 --> 00:28:32,836 Kids are a good sign, I guess. 521 00:28:37,090 --> 00:28:40,636 - Hey there. - What is this place? 522 00:28:40,844 --> 00:28:43,972 DAVID: Will you look at this? It's a cute little drug-dealing community. 523 00:28:44,181 --> 00:28:45,807 They probably sell churros. 524 00:28:46,850 --> 00:28:48,477 Will you relax? 525 00:28:48,685 --> 00:28:50,854 It's fine. We're totally fine. 526 00:28:51,104 --> 00:28:55,233 I'll run in, pick up a duffel bag, a suitcase or something and we'll be on our way. 527 00:28:55,442 --> 00:28:58,987 Hi. Now come on. See, it's the welcome wagon. 528 00:28:59,196 --> 00:29:00,447 Let me go talk to this guy. 529 00:29:01,406 --> 00:29:05,118 Hola. Hola, big man, me llamo David. 530 00:29:05,327 --> 00:29:07,621 Yeah, I'm here to pick up for Brad Gurdlinger. 531 00:29:09,706 --> 00:29:10,832 - Oh. - He's got a gun. 532 00:29:11,041 --> 00:29:13,251 ROSE: Oh, God. - Whoa, whoa. Hey, hey, hey! 533 00:29:13,460 --> 00:29:16,922 - Oh, God. DAVID: Palo Hacon! Palo Hacon! 534 00:29:17,130 --> 00:29:18,465 Pablo Chacon? 535 00:29:19,633 --> 00:29:20,676 [SPEAKS IN SPANISH] 536 00:29:20,884 --> 00:29:23,387 Pablo Chacon. I'm here to pick up for Pablo Chacon. 537 00:29:23,595 --> 00:29:25,931 You are the White Gringo with the haircut of a donkey. 538 00:29:26,139 --> 00:29:27,933 Uh, yeah. Si. 539 00:29:28,141 --> 00:29:31,728 Yeah. Yeah, mucho white-o. Very, very gringo. Yeah. 540 00:29:31,937 --> 00:29:35,774 - Who are they? - Um, that's my "family." 541 00:29:35,983 --> 00:29:38,151 You know, uh, mi familia. 542 00:29:38,360 --> 00:29:41,405 You know, helping me out here with the deal. Yeah. 543 00:29:41,613 --> 00:29:43,615 [BOTH CHUCKLE] 544 00:29:43,824 --> 00:29:45,200 Yeah. 545 00:29:45,409 --> 00:29:47,828 Yeah. I know, I can't believe it either. 546 00:29:48,036 --> 00:29:49,116 [ONE-EYE SHOUTS IN SPANISH] 547 00:29:49,287 --> 00:29:50,927 [MOUTHS] Do you see his eye? Jesus Christ. 548 00:29:51,081 --> 00:29:52,749 [LAUGHING] 549 00:29:52,958 --> 00:29:54,668 Come! Drugs now. 550 00:29:54,876 --> 00:29:56,670 DAVID: Okay, great. - What? 551 00:29:56,878 --> 00:29:58,505 DAVID: That's great. Let's do it. Okay. 552 00:30:00,173 --> 00:30:03,593 All right, big fella, where's the smidge of weed everyone's talking about? 553 00:30:09,266 --> 00:30:10,934 [MEN CHATTERING] 554 00:30:15,313 --> 00:30:18,066 - This is a little more than a smidge. - Oh, dear. 555 00:30:18,275 --> 00:30:19,943 Calm down. Okay? We're gonna be fine. 556 00:30:20,152 --> 00:30:21,570 Oh, yeah, sure, right. 557 00:30:21,778 --> 00:30:24,698 All we're doing is smuggling two metric tons of marijuana... 558 00:30:24,906 --> 00:30:28,201 across an international border in a rented motor home! 559 00:30:28,702 --> 00:30:31,455 I don't see what could possibly go wrong! Ugh! 560 00:30:33,040 --> 00:30:35,834 Okay, uh, I'm gonna make a phone call real quick. 561 00:30:36,334 --> 00:30:38,587 Kenny, watch the pot. 562 00:30:44,760 --> 00:30:45,927 It's a great place. 563 00:30:46,428 --> 00:30:47,846 Fuck you. 564 00:30:49,806 --> 00:30:51,058 [SAW WHIRRING] 565 00:30:51,224 --> 00:30:53,602 [CELL PHONE RINGING] 566 00:30:58,982 --> 00:31:00,442 "BRAD". Hey. Buddy. 567 00:31:00,609 --> 00:31:04,237 I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. I'm like an amazing sculptor. 568 00:31:04,404 --> 00:31:06,990 - What are you talking about? - I've been working all day. 569 00:31:07,157 --> 00:31:11,620 It's an orca and he's breaching and I'm balls deep in his blow hole. 570 00:31:11,787 --> 00:31:12,829 What the fuck? 571 00:31:13,038 --> 00:31:14,081 Uh-oh, something wrong? 572 00:31:14,247 --> 00:31:16,875 Yeah! Something's wrong. Something's very, very wrong. Okay? 573 00:31:17,042 --> 00:31:18,376 You said "a smidge of pot." 574 00:31:18,543 --> 00:31:20,128 This is not a smidge. 575 00:31:20,295 --> 00:31:21,755 - Smidge and a half? No? - No. 576 00:31:21,922 --> 00:31:25,133 You got me moving enough weed to kill Willie-fucking-Nelson, man! 577 00:31:26,176 --> 00:31:30,305 Okay? They're using a god-damn bucket brigade to put it on the RV as we speak! 578 00:31:30,472 --> 00:31:34,184 You walked in, told them you were picking up for Pablo Chacon and they were like: 579 00:31:34,601 --> 00:31:36,144 - "No problem!" - Wait a minute. 580 00:31:36,311 --> 00:31:39,397 Why do you sound surprised? You told them we were coming, right? 581 00:31:39,564 --> 00:31:40,607 Relax! 582 00:31:40,774 --> 00:31:44,820 Everything's gonna be fine, man. I greased the guard in lane one at the border. 583 00:31:44,986 --> 00:31:47,739 He'll let you breeze through, I'll see you in the morning! 584 00:31:47,906 --> 00:31:49,241 I'll even buy you brunch. 585 00:31:49,533 --> 00:31:51,284 Can I change the subject for a second? 586 00:31:51,451 --> 00:31:53,286 If you get back and see the sculpture... 587 00:31:53,453 --> 00:31:56,581 you're gonna look at it and be like, "Whoa, those balls are huge." 588 00:31:56,748 --> 00:31:59,459 The balls are the only part that are not anatomically correct. 589 00:31:59,626 --> 00:32:01,128 Everything else is perfect. 590 00:32:01,294 --> 00:32:05,423 But I made the balls a little larger as a tribute to my manhood. 591 00:32:05,590 --> 00:32:06,758 Fuck you, Brad. 592 00:32:06,925 --> 00:32:08,885 That's the David I love! 593 00:32:09,052 --> 00:32:11,596 Fuck you too! Come on, let's do this! 594 00:32:11,763 --> 00:32:13,603 Ha, ha! I'll see you soon, my little drug mule! 595 00:32:13,765 --> 00:32:15,225 Hee-haw! Hee-haw! Hee-haw... 596 00:32:15,392 --> 00:32:16,560 [PHONE BEEPS OFF] 597 00:32:16,726 --> 00:32:17,727 Shit! 598 00:32:21,147 --> 00:32:22,190 [WOMAN SPEAKS IN SPANISH] 599 00:32:22,399 --> 00:32:24,734 Oh, no. Thank you. I'm good. 600 00:32:26,403 --> 00:32:27,821 You reject my mother's gift? 601 00:32:29,197 --> 00:32:31,908 I mean, I don't know whether I'd put it in those terms. 602 00:32:32,117 --> 00:32:34,119 - Shut up and take the fruit. - Right. Got it. 603 00:32:34,327 --> 00:32:35,453 Thank you, ma'am. 604 00:32:35,662 --> 00:32:37,497 - [WHISPERS] You wanna get us killed? - What? 605 00:32:38,248 --> 00:32:39,416 Namaste. 606 00:32:47,799 --> 00:32:48,884 CASEY: Whoa. 607 00:32:49,092 --> 00:32:51,261 I think Snoop Dogg would fuck this fridge. 608 00:32:51,511 --> 00:32:52,846 At least it keeps it fresh. 609 00:32:53,805 --> 00:32:57,434 Well, as long as no one sets foot inside the RV... 610 00:32:57,642 --> 00:33:00,478 looks through a window, or weighs us... 611 00:33:01,438 --> 00:33:04,149 - we should be pretty good. - We'll be fine. 612 00:33:04,691 --> 00:33:06,234 We're totally fucked. 613 00:33:07,485 --> 00:33:09,654 [ONE-EYE SPEAKS IN SPANISH] 614 00:33:19,873 --> 00:33:22,334 [SIREN WHOOPS] 615 00:33:23,627 --> 00:33:25,378 DAVID: Aw, shit. What the hell is this? 616 00:33:25,587 --> 00:33:28,089 ROSE: What's it look like? It's a cop, genius. DAVID: Be cool. 617 00:33:28,298 --> 00:33:31,885 - Remember we're the Millers. Okay. - Okay. Yeah. Okay. Cool. 618 00:33:33,136 --> 00:33:35,472 - Oh. Buenos Dias, officer. - Hola. 619 00:33:35,680 --> 00:33:38,433 I'm sorry if we were violating some of your traffic laws. 620 00:33:38,642 --> 00:33:41,895 You see, the family and I got into a heated game of road bingo and... 621 00:33:42,103 --> 00:33:44,105 - Cut the shit. - I'm sorry? 622 00:33:44,314 --> 00:33:46,858 I saw you leaving Pablo Chacon's compound. 623 00:33:47,067 --> 00:33:50,070 And we both know if I search your mobile home, what I'd find. 624 00:33:50,278 --> 00:33:52,280 Much prison time for such things. 625 00:33:52,489 --> 00:33:53,782 Yeah. Yeah. 626 00:33:54,240 --> 00:33:56,242 But I don't feel like arresting anybody... 627 00:33:56,451 --> 00:33:59,746 so I'll just simply take my bribe and I'll be on my way. 628 00:34:02,248 --> 00:34:04,084 Well, all right. Ha, ha. 629 00:34:04,542 --> 00:34:07,754 This is what I'm talking about. Great! How much we talking? 100? 200? 630 00:34:07,963 --> 00:34:10,215 - One thousand. - A thousand? 631 00:34:10,423 --> 00:34:13,134 - Mm-hm. - What, are you buying a house down here? 632 00:34:14,010 --> 00:34:17,931 It's a lot. Um, we don't have that sort of cash on us right now. 633 00:34:18,139 --> 00:34:19,391 [GROANS] 634 00:34:20,141 --> 00:34:22,018 You see, that's gonna be a problem. 635 00:34:22,227 --> 00:34:23,353 Yeah, yeah. 636 00:34:23,561 --> 00:34:26,940 Maybe you can offer me something else. Say, uh... 637 00:34:28,191 --> 00:34:30,318 something a little more personal? 638 00:34:32,070 --> 00:34:34,406 - Oh. - Oh. 639 00:34:35,824 --> 00:34:38,118 I gotcha. Rose, suck his dick. 640 00:34:39,452 --> 00:34:41,454 Fuck you, I'm not sucking anything. 641 00:34:41,663 --> 00:34:43,415 Come on. Will you be a team player? 642 00:34:43,623 --> 00:34:46,251 - Are you fucking kidding me? - Will you stop being selfish? 643 00:34:46,459 --> 00:34:48,753 Please, please, sefiora. No need to be alarmed. 644 00:34:49,462 --> 00:34:54,259 See, I'm, how you say, a man who prefers the company of other men. 645 00:34:55,010 --> 00:34:56,886 - Oh. - Oh. 646 00:34:58,346 --> 00:35:00,724 - David, suck his dick. - Rose. 647 00:35:00,932 --> 00:35:03,435 Five seconds tops. Just cradle the balls. 648 00:35:03,643 --> 00:35:05,020 Mm. 649 00:35:05,228 --> 00:35:08,231 Come on, David. Be a team player. You're gonna have fun. 650 00:35:09,983 --> 00:35:11,651 Um... 651 00:35:12,277 --> 00:35:15,030 Okay. Kenny! Front and center, buddy. 652 00:35:15,238 --> 00:35:16,865 Uh... 653 00:35:17,073 --> 00:35:18,324 KENNY: Okay, so what's the plan? 654 00:35:18,533 --> 00:35:21,327 Go up there and pretend to and then you're gonna jump him? 655 00:35:21,536 --> 00:35:22,787 The plan is, um... 656 00:35:22,996 --> 00:35:24,247 Here. Come here, come here. 657 00:35:24,622 --> 00:35:27,667 Okay, urn, let's see. You, you're this bottle cap. 658 00:35:27,876 --> 00:35:30,670 Right? And I am this cigarette butt. 659 00:35:30,879 --> 00:35:34,591 Okay, that's us. All right? Okay? He's over there, right by this, that bush. 660 00:35:34,799 --> 00:35:36,009 We'll make him the pebble. 661 00:35:36,217 --> 00:35:39,888 You will go and meet him behind the bush right over there. 662 00:35:40,096 --> 00:35:42,140 You suck his dick, and we get outta here. 663 00:35:42,348 --> 00:35:44,851 - Okay? Bring it in, on three. - What?! No! 664 00:35:45,060 --> 00:35:46,728 What do you mean no? What's wrong? 665 00:35:46,936 --> 00:35:49,606 - Well, I'm not gay. - Are you sure? 666 00:35:50,690 --> 00:35:52,692 I mean, you never really know until you know. 667 00:35:52,901 --> 00:35:55,278 - No. I'm not gay. - Okay. All right. Calm down. 668 00:35:55,487 --> 00:35:59,491 Look, this gay panic situation you're having now, it's coming off a little homophobic. 669 00:36:00,075 --> 00:36:02,410 What, because I don't want a penis in my mouth? 670 00:36:02,619 --> 00:36:05,038 Exactly. It's exactly what homophobic means. 671 00:36:05,246 --> 00:36:08,833 Look, you go over there, you just, you know, you pretend it's a girl's dick. 672 00:36:09,250 --> 00:36:10,585 Any girl's dick you want. 673 00:36:10,794 --> 00:36:13,546 KENNY: I'm not sure I agree with that logic. Look, listen to me. 674 00:36:14,506 --> 00:36:17,175 - What is he saying to him? - I have no idea. 675 00:36:17,383 --> 00:36:19,385 All right? Just listen to me. All right? 676 00:36:19,594 --> 00:36:20,720 Come on, man. 677 00:36:20,929 --> 00:36:23,306 This is your chance to be the hero. 678 00:36:24,641 --> 00:36:26,851 - I don't know, David. DAVID: Don't do it for me. 679 00:36:27,060 --> 00:36:30,438 Don't even do it for you. Do it for the girls. For Rose and Casey. 680 00:36:30,647 --> 00:36:33,691 Because, believe me, they won't last two days in a Mexican prison. 681 00:36:36,236 --> 00:36:37,821 - Okay. - Attaboy! 682 00:36:39,072 --> 00:36:41,116 - I'll do it for the girls. - I'm proud of you. 683 00:36:42,033 --> 00:36:44,077 Hey. What's going on? 684 00:36:44,285 --> 00:36:46,830 Somebody sucking my dick, or am I getting 1000 pesos? 685 00:36:47,038 --> 00:36:48,581 No, he's gonna W... 686 00:36:49,374 --> 00:36:51,793 - "Pesos"? Why didn't you say so? - Mm-hm. A thousand. 687 00:36:52,001 --> 00:36:55,088 Oh, well, that's like, what, 80 bucks American? 688 00:36:55,296 --> 00:36:57,590 Here. Here you go. A hundred. Keep the change. 689 00:36:57,799 --> 00:36:59,050 [SPEAKS IN SPANISH] 690 00:37:04,848 --> 00:37:08,059 Can't believe you were gonna suck that guy's dick. Come on, let's go. 691 00:37:14,399 --> 00:37:15,942 [DOGS BARKING] 692 00:37:19,404 --> 00:37:22,699 MAN [ON PA]: All vehicles, please proceed slowly in assigned lanes... 693 00:37:22,907 --> 00:37:24,659 and prepare for vehicle inspection. 694 00:37:24,868 --> 00:37:27,453 [MAN ON PA SPEAKING IN SPANISH] 695 00:37:27,662 --> 00:37:28,997 Okay, here we go. This is it. 696 00:37:29,205 --> 00:37:30,623 Kenny, grab the hats. Hurry. 697 00:37:31,124 --> 00:37:33,626 You said the guard was just gonna wave us through. 698 00:37:33,835 --> 00:37:37,255 He will. But let's look the part so the others don't get suspicious. 699 00:37:40,425 --> 00:37:41,926 [HORN HONKING] 700 00:37:44,220 --> 00:37:45,722 What the fuck does this guy want? 701 00:37:45,930 --> 00:37:47,640 I don't know. But he's honking. 702 00:37:48,433 --> 00:37:50,935 - Hi! - Just ignore them. 703 00:37:51,311 --> 00:37:55,690 Okay, he's really honking and it's making a huge scene. I think he just wants to say hi. 704 00:37:55,940 --> 00:37:57,442 Oh, my God. I don't wanna say hi. 705 00:37:57,650 --> 00:37:59,903 They're just waving. If we just wave, he'll stop. 706 00:38:00,111 --> 00:38:01,821 Fine. I'll say hi. Fine. 707 00:38:02,655 --> 00:38:03,698 - HI - HI 708 00:38:03,907 --> 00:38:06,951 Howdy-doody! Quite a rig you got there, amigo. 709 00:38:07,160 --> 00:38:11,289 That is quite a rig you guys have there too. 710 00:38:11,497 --> 00:38:13,958 Well, thank you very kindly. We do love her. 711 00:38:14,167 --> 00:38:17,337 We don't take her out as often as we used to when our girl was small. 712 00:38:17,670 --> 00:38:22,300 It can be such a bear to carve out quality family time but you gotta do it, don't you? 713 00:38:22,634 --> 00:38:24,594 Yeah, David and Rose Miller here. 714 00:38:24,802 --> 00:38:25,929 Oh. 715 00:38:26,137 --> 00:38:29,807 This is my daughter, Casey, right here. And my son, Kenny. 716 00:38:30,642 --> 00:38:33,353 - How handsome. - Pleased to make your acquaintance. 717 00:38:33,561 --> 00:38:36,231 Don Fitzgerald, my smoldering wife, Edith... 718 00:38:36,439 --> 00:38:38,233 and our daughter. Say hi, Melissa. 719 00:38:46,491 --> 00:38:48,243 [EDIE LAUGHS] 720 00:38:49,202 --> 00:38:51,122 MAN [ON PA]: Lane one, please pull forward. - Oh. 721 00:38:51,246 --> 00:38:53,665 Sir. Sir, please pull forward. 722 00:38:56,918 --> 00:38:58,211 I got a joint here. 723 00:38:59,254 --> 00:39:01,339 - Shut down lane one. - It's medicinal. 724 00:39:01,547 --> 00:39:03,007 - What'd he say'? - He has a joint. 725 00:39:03,216 --> 00:39:04,634 That's it? 726 00:39:05,760 --> 00:39:06,886 [ROSE GASPS] 727 00:39:07,845 --> 00:39:08,888 - Hide it. - Okay. 728 00:39:09,097 --> 00:39:10,848 Get rid of it! Oh, my God! 729 00:39:11,057 --> 00:39:12,475 Holy shit. 730 00:39:13,017 --> 00:39:14,852 - Oh, that was so close. - You have a baby! 731 00:39:15,353 --> 00:39:17,981 - Oh, I love babies! ROSE: Oh. 732 00:39:18,189 --> 00:39:20,775 Oh, look at that gorgeous little bundle of joy! 733 00:39:20,984 --> 00:39:23,111 What's that beautiful little baby's name? 734 00:39:23,861 --> 00:39:27,031 - This is our little... - LeBron. 735 00:39:27,365 --> 00:39:28,992 - Name's LeBron. ROSE: Yup. 736 00:39:29,200 --> 00:39:31,494 - Oh. - A little French fella. 737 00:39:31,703 --> 00:39:32,745 It's our little LeBron. 738 00:39:32,954 --> 00:39:36,416 I was against the name at first, but the missus has a real soft spot... 739 00:39:36,624 --> 00:39:38,744 for prima Donnas who'll never be as good as Jordan. 740 00:39:38,876 --> 00:39:40,420 I can't see the face. 741 00:39:41,087 --> 00:39:45,008 - I'm dying to see his face. - Sir, pull forward to lane two. 742 00:39:45,341 --> 00:39:48,469 - Oh, fuck! Okay, put on the hats. - You gotta pull over. 743 00:39:48,678 --> 00:39:51,097 - Here we go. ROSE: Great. 744 00:39:52,598 --> 00:39:55,310 - My God, I feel like a fucking idiot. - That's the idea. 745 00:39:55,518 --> 00:39:59,897 Hey, hey, hey, hey. Everybody smile and follow my lead, all right? 746 00:40:00,106 --> 00:40:02,984 I'm gonna take us to the promised land. Here we go. Here we go. 747 00:40:03,192 --> 00:40:04,902 [DOG BARKING] 748 00:40:05,111 --> 00:40:06,487 Steady. 749 00:40:07,113 --> 00:40:09,198 - Steady. - Shit. 750 00:40:15,496 --> 00:40:17,290 DAVID: Shh. Shh, shh. I got this one. 751 00:40:17,498 --> 00:40:22,628 Okay. Everybody just smile. Everybody be cool. Here we go. Follow my lead. Ahem. 752 00:40:24,505 --> 00:40:26,924 You bringing anything into the United States, sir? 753 00:40:27,133 --> 00:40:28,343 '(uh... 754 00:40:29,010 --> 00:40:31,570 Sir, are you bringing any contraband back into the United States? 755 00:40:31,763 --> 00:40:32,805 DAVID: Um... 756 00:40:33,014 --> 00:40:34,223 GUARD 1: Sir? - David! 757 00:40:34,432 --> 00:40:35,512 [GUARD 1 SPEAKS IN SPANISH] 758 00:40:35,683 --> 00:40:37,226 [BARKING] 759 00:40:38,770 --> 00:40:41,522 Folks, I need you to pull over and exit the vehicle, please. 760 00:40:42,565 --> 00:40:44,859 - But... - Sir, is that actually necessary? 761 00:40:45,068 --> 00:40:47,195 I mean, these kids are pooped and we've just... 762 00:40:47,403 --> 00:40:50,281 I need everybody out of this recreational vehicle immediately. 763 00:40:50,490 --> 00:40:53,117 - I'll just put the baby down. - We'll put the baby away. 764 00:40:53,326 --> 00:40:58,414 Bring the child, pull over to the secondary inspection area and exit the vehicle now! 765 00:40:59,457 --> 00:41:00,958 - Okay. - Good. 766 00:41:01,167 --> 00:41:02,543 [BARKING] 767 00:41:02,752 --> 00:41:04,379 [ROSE GASPS] 768 00:41:04,587 --> 00:41:05,838 It's okay. It's all right. 769 00:41:06,089 --> 00:41:07,924 It's okay, baby. It's just a puppy. 770 00:41:08,716 --> 00:41:09,967 Stand down. 771 00:41:11,052 --> 00:41:13,054 All right. It's okay. 772 00:41:14,055 --> 00:41:17,600 Before I search the vehicle, is there anything you wanna tell me about? 773 00:41:17,809 --> 00:41:19,352 Because after I open that door... 774 00:41:20,186 --> 00:41:21,437 I can't help you. 775 00:41:27,235 --> 00:41:30,738 Last chance. I'm gonna search this vehicle top to bottom. 776 00:41:31,447 --> 00:41:32,490 All right. 777 00:41:32,865 --> 00:41:35,326 [MEN SHOUTING IN SPANISH] 778 00:41:35,535 --> 00:41:36,661 We got runners! 779 00:41:36,869 --> 00:41:38,704 [DOGS BARKING] 780 00:41:40,164 --> 00:41:41,707 [GUNSHOTS] 781 00:41:41,916 --> 00:41:43,668 GUARD 2: We got runners! 782 00:41:44,419 --> 00:41:47,171 Sorry to inconvenience you, folks. This happens a lot. 783 00:41:47,380 --> 00:41:48,756 You have a nice day. 784 00:41:54,303 --> 00:41:56,431 Go. Go, go! 785 00:42:12,905 --> 00:42:14,949 Ah. Well, that was fucking easy! 786 00:42:15,158 --> 00:42:16,325 [DAVID LAUGHS] 787 00:42:16,534 --> 00:42:17,994 - Oh, my God. - God! 788 00:42:18,202 --> 00:42:19,245 Whoo! We did it! 789 00:42:19,537 --> 00:42:22,999 Nicely done, Millers! Give it up! Very good job. Here you go. 790 00:42:23,207 --> 00:42:25,793 Rose! Yeah! David! There you go! 791 00:42:26,002 --> 00:42:30,465 We are all officially international drug smugglers. Add it to the resume. 792 00:42:30,673 --> 00:42:33,509 Ha, ha. How about a little victory music, huh? 793 00:42:35,052 --> 00:42:37,638 [TLC'S "WATERFALLS" PLAYING ON RADIO] 794 00:42:37,847 --> 00:42:38,931 Oh, no, no, no. 795 00:42:39,140 --> 00:42:41,392 - Don't change it. I love this song. - Me too. 796 00:42:41,601 --> 00:42:44,103 What? I didn't even like this song when it was popular. 797 00:42:44,312 --> 00:42:45,730 Come on, loosen up, David. 798 00:42:45,938 --> 00:42:47,982 [INCREASES VOLUME] 799 00:42:48,191 --> 00:42:50,401 [SINGING ALONG] Please stick to the rivers 800 00:42:50,610 --> 00:42:52,778 And the lakes that you're used to 801 00:42:52,987 --> 00:42:54,030 Don't do this. 802 00:42:54,238 --> 00:42:57,617 What? This isn't even a good victory song. 803 00:42:57,825 --> 00:42:59,827 No, stop. We are not doing this. 804 00:43:00,036 --> 00:43:03,164 This is embarrassing. Stop. 805 00:43:04,457 --> 00:43:05,708 Ah, come on. 806 00:43:06,792 --> 00:43:10,004 [RAPPING] I seen a rainbow yesterday But too many storms have come and gone 807 00:43:10,213 --> 00:43:12,381 Leavin' a trace of not one God-given ray ls it because my life is 10 shades of gray 808 00:43:12,590 --> 00:43:13,633 [MOUTHS] What the fuck? 809 00:43:14,509 --> 00:43:17,595 I pray all 10 fade away Seldom praise him for the sunny days 810 00:43:17,803 --> 00:43:19,683 You claim the insane And name this place in time 811 00:43:19,889 --> 00:43:23,267 For fallin' prey to crime, I swear The system got you victim to your own mind 812 00:43:23,476 --> 00:43:26,479 Dreams are hopeless aspirations In hopes of comin' true 813 00:43:26,687 --> 00:43:28,731 Believe in yourself The rest is up to me and 814 00:43:28,940 --> 00:43:31,651 [SINGING] Don't go chasin' waterfalls 815 00:43:31,859 --> 00:43:34,278 - Whoo! CASEY: Whoo, yeah, Kenny! 816 00:43:34,487 --> 00:43:36,030 ROSE: Where did you learn to do that? 817 00:43:36,239 --> 00:43:37,698 DAVID: Yeah, whatever. 818 00:43:39,534 --> 00:43:41,494 [CHILDREN CHATTERING] 819 00:43:46,666 --> 00:43:48,960 [CROWD SHOUTING] 820 00:43:50,169 --> 00:43:51,504 [GROANS] 821 00:43:58,427 --> 00:44:00,513 [CROWD MURMURING] 822 00:44:01,806 --> 00:44:02,848 Sefior Chacon. 823 00:44:03,057 --> 00:44:04,600 [ONE-EYE SPEAKS IN SPANISH] 824 00:44:04,809 --> 00:44:06,519 We were not expecting you. 825 00:44:06,727 --> 00:44:10,648 I decided to bring the gringo myself to make sure everything goes as planned. 826 00:44:10,856 --> 00:44:14,902 But the gringo has already left with the shipment, sefior. 827 00:44:15,194 --> 00:44:16,279 What gringo? 828 00:44:16,487 --> 00:44:18,447 The gringo with the haircut of a donkey. 829 00:44:19,365 --> 00:44:21,701 You mean this gringo with the haircut of a donkey. 830 00:44:22,743 --> 00:44:23,995 I have failed you, sefior. 831 00:44:24,203 --> 00:44:26,706 If you saw this gringo again would you recognize him? 832 00:44:27,081 --> 00:44:29,917 He was driving an RV with his family. 833 00:44:30,293 --> 00:44:31,669 Get in the car. 834 00:44:53,733 --> 00:44:55,693 Oh, how fast are you going? 835 00:44:56,652 --> 00:44:59,572 Calm down, I'm going the speed limit. We won't get pulled over. 836 00:44:59,780 --> 00:45:03,618 No, no. I mean, loaded down like this in a 15-ton vehicle... 837 00:45:03,826 --> 00:45:06,162 going up a 10 percent grade. 838 00:45:06,746 --> 00:45:10,875 Just use your head, David. I don't think you think things through. 839 00:45:11,083 --> 00:45:14,545 - What? - Weight distribution loading and towing. 840 00:45:14,754 --> 00:45:15,921 - See? - Yeah, I do. 841 00:45:16,130 --> 00:45:17,423 I thought this plan through. 842 00:45:17,632 --> 00:45:19,884 - Seems to be working out. - Oh, great. 843 00:45:20,092 --> 00:45:21,844 [ALARM BEEPING] 844 00:45:22,053 --> 00:45:23,471 DAVID: Oh, shit! 845 00:45:23,679 --> 00:45:25,556 [ENGINE SPUTTERING] 846 00:45:25,765 --> 00:45:27,516 Seriously. God...! 847 00:45:35,107 --> 00:45:37,068 Was this part of your plan, David? 848 00:45:37,276 --> 00:45:38,361 Damn it. 849 00:45:38,778 --> 00:45:41,572 - Wait, what are we gonna do now? - I don't kno... 850 00:45:41,781 --> 00:45:43,032 I can't even get a signal. 851 00:45:43,824 --> 00:45:46,494 No shit. We're in the fucking middle of nowhere, dude. 852 00:45:46,702 --> 00:45:48,371 Oh, gee, thank you, Casey. 853 00:45:48,579 --> 00:45:51,165 Thank you for your amazing problem solving skills. So helpful. 854 00:45:51,374 --> 00:45:52,625 Whoa. Hey, what are you doing? 855 00:45:52,833 --> 00:45:56,295 I'm not gonna stand on the side of the road next to an RV filled with pot. 856 00:45:56,504 --> 00:45:57,797 I'm gonna try to find help. 857 00:45:58,005 --> 00:46:01,175 - Yeah, fuck this. I'm going with her. Bye. - What? 858 00:46:01,384 --> 00:46:04,011 CASEY: Wait up! ROSE: Ugh. Ridiculous! 859 00:46:04,637 --> 00:46:08,224 Okay. Actually, that's fine. Good idea. Okay, hurry back though, please. 860 00:46:08,432 --> 00:46:11,894 "Oh, I have a plan." Really? Good plan. You don't have any plans. 861 00:46:14,522 --> 00:46:15,815 Women, am I right? 862 00:46:16,899 --> 00:46:18,526 Shut the fuck up, Kenny. 863 00:46:20,778 --> 00:46:24,407 ROSE: And he's so smug. Ugh. He drives me crazy. 864 00:46:24,615 --> 00:46:25,908 CASEY: Well, yeah, he's an idiot. 865 00:46:26,117 --> 00:46:28,494 ROSE: No, he's not an idiot. He's actually kind of smart. 866 00:46:28,703 --> 00:46:29,912 Why are you defending him? 867 00:46:30,121 --> 00:46:32,331 I'm not defending him. I'm just saying that he... 868 00:46:32,540 --> 00:46:36,293 CASEY: Have you seen where we are? This whole plan is so stupid. 869 00:46:36,502 --> 00:46:37,628 ROSE: Oh, really? 870 00:46:37,837 --> 00:46:41,132 What golden advice did you follow that ended with you on the streets? 871 00:46:41,340 --> 00:46:44,635 I don't live on the streets, okay? I crash with friends. 872 00:46:44,844 --> 00:46:46,929 Ah. Okay. I see. 873 00:46:47,138 --> 00:46:49,890 So you were kind of between couches when David and Kenny found you. 874 00:46:50,099 --> 00:46:52,226 Are you gonna lecture me? Seriously, I'll puke. 875 00:46:52,435 --> 00:46:54,145 You know what, I'm not lecturing you. 876 00:46:54,353 --> 00:46:56,981 Okay, good. Because I don't need advice from a stripper. 877 00:46:57,189 --> 00:46:58,774 All right, you know what you little shit? I swear... 878 00:46:58,983 --> 00:47:00,151 [HORN HONKS] 879 00:47:00,359 --> 00:47:01,777 What the hell is this? 880 00:47:03,154 --> 00:47:05,948 Well, look at this cute little couple of hitchhikers. 881 00:47:06,157 --> 00:47:07,575 We're here to save your bacon. 882 00:47:07,783 --> 00:47:10,244 Saddle up, little ladies. Ha-ha-ha! 883 00:47:10,453 --> 00:47:12,455 ROSE: Hey. Hi, what's going on? 884 00:47:12,663 --> 00:47:16,250 They pulled up right after you guys left. They're gonna tow us to a mechanic. 885 00:47:16,459 --> 00:47:18,377 They keeping asking to hold the weed baby. 886 00:47:18,586 --> 00:47:20,921 All right, all right, calm down. Okay. 887 00:47:21,130 --> 00:47:24,592 Just calm down, all right? I got this. Watch. 888 00:47:25,593 --> 00:47:27,428 I'm holding that baby. 889 00:47:27,636 --> 00:47:30,765 Edie, you will, I promise, but it's nap time for LeBron. 890 00:47:30,973 --> 00:47:32,057 Come on, guys, let's go. 891 00:47:32,266 --> 00:47:35,394 All aboard the Fitzgerald Express. Honk, honk! 892 00:47:35,603 --> 00:47:38,063 ROSE: Ha-ha-ha! - Toot, toot! 893 00:47:39,106 --> 00:47:41,567 It's like we're pretending it's a train, but it's not. 894 00:47:41,776 --> 00:47:43,611 [EDIE LAUGHS] 895 00:47:49,033 --> 00:47:50,534 KENNY: Surrounded by goblins. MELISSA: Okay. 896 00:47:50,743 --> 00:47:51,952 Oh, Oh, Oh! 897 00:47:52,161 --> 00:47:54,747 One more sec, okay? Hold on, one second. Don't freak. 898 00:47:54,955 --> 00:47:56,635 EDIE: When you're a synchronized swimmer... 899 00:47:56,832 --> 00:47:59,084 you can't use a maxi pad, you can see it. 900 00:47:59,293 --> 00:48:01,128 So my friend bought me a box of tampons. 901 00:48:01,337 --> 00:48:03,839 And I'll tell you, I had a hard time inserting those. 902 00:48:04,048 --> 00:48:06,133 - It would just stick halfway out. ROSE: Mm-hm. 903 00:48:06,342 --> 00:48:08,182 - It was just like a Roman candle. ROSE: Mm-hm. 904 00:48:08,427 --> 00:48:11,555 And that is how I found out I was born with a shallow vagina. 905 00:48:13,349 --> 00:48:17,561 - That was such a detailed story, Edie. - Thank you! 906 00:48:17,770 --> 00:48:22,441 You gotta do a one-woman show. It's, like, so many layers, you know? 907 00:48:23,484 --> 00:48:25,694 So, what's your story, David? 908 00:48:25,903 --> 00:48:27,738 - What do you mean? - How'd you two meet? 909 00:48:27,947 --> 00:48:30,491 Ah! Honey, tell her. 910 00:48:30,699 --> 00:48:33,244 And don't leave out any of the romantic parts. 911 00:48:33,619 --> 00:48:34,912 DAVID: Okay. All right. 912 00:48:35,120 --> 00:48:37,248 Where did we first meet. Um... 913 00:48:37,456 --> 00:48:38,791 It's great. 914 00:48:38,999 --> 00:48:42,628 Well, that would have been when Rose moved into my apartment building. 915 00:48:42,837 --> 00:48:44,672 - Ah. That's right. DAVID: Mm-hm. 916 00:48:44,880 --> 00:48:46,090 [GASPS] 917 00:48:46,298 --> 00:48:49,426 I remember watching her through the crack in my door as she was... 918 00:48:49,635 --> 00:48:50,928 Wait, you were spying on me? 919 00:48:51,136 --> 00:48:53,889 Now, hon, just because you've heard it a thousand times... 920 00:48:54,098 --> 00:48:56,267 doesn't mean you should interrupt. Don't be rude. 921 00:48:56,851 --> 00:48:59,019 All right. Proceed. 922 00:48:59,854 --> 00:49:01,397 But, yeah, I was spying on her. 923 00:49:01,605 --> 00:49:03,941 She was unloading this U-Haul all by herself. 924 00:49:04,400 --> 00:49:08,487 I wanna go help her, but I don't wanna come off like I'm hitting on her, because... 925 00:49:09,071 --> 00:49:11,907 you know, I'd like to hit on her maybe at some point. 926 00:49:13,117 --> 00:49:15,286 And, uh... 927 00:49:15,494 --> 00:49:20,875 she was wearing these little navy blue Chuck Taylors and these jean shorts. 928 00:49:21,083 --> 00:49:23,586 No pockets on the back, however that happened. 929 00:49:23,794 --> 00:49:27,047 And this, uh, Tom Waits T-shirt. 930 00:49:27,256 --> 00:49:28,966 I was like, "Oh, that's cool." 931 00:49:29,174 --> 00:49:30,676 Because I love Tom Waits. 932 00:49:30,885 --> 00:49:32,803 And she just looked beautiful. 933 00:49:37,850 --> 00:49:40,019 If you're into that kind of mean, pretty thing. 934 00:49:42,563 --> 00:49:43,606 So, anyway, uh... 935 00:49:43,814 --> 00:49:48,485 she starts to bring up this really big weird-looking painting up the stairs. 936 00:49:48,694 --> 00:49:52,531 And I'm like, "Okay, here's my shot." All right, so I go outside... 937 00:49:52,740 --> 00:49:56,035 and I help her with it. I'm trying to, at least. 938 00:49:56,243 --> 00:49:57,953 She looks at me and goes: "Stop it!" 939 00:49:58,162 --> 00:50:00,539 - She just snaps at me. - You started yanking at it. 940 00:50:00,748 --> 00:50:02,666 Next thing you know, it's a tug of war... 941 00:50:02,875 --> 00:50:05,085 pulling it back and forth and out of nowhere... 942 00:50:05,294 --> 00:50:08,422 His fat fist goes right through the canvas. 943 00:50:08,631 --> 00:50:11,800 - But it was an accident. - Doesn't matter! You ruined my painting. 944 00:50:12,009 --> 00:50:14,929 Okay. Honestly, I really think you should have thanked me. 945 00:50:15,137 --> 00:50:17,181 Yeah, because that painting was hideous. 946 00:50:17,389 --> 00:50:18,557 [CHUCKLES] 947 00:50:18,766 --> 00:50:21,310 My grandfather painted that painting. 948 00:50:21,518 --> 00:50:24,313 And it was my favorite thing in the entire world. 949 00:50:25,731 --> 00:50:28,692 So we get in this screaming match in front of the whole building. 950 00:50:28,901 --> 00:50:31,195 And everybody comes out and is watching it. 951 00:50:31,487 --> 00:50:33,614 I mean, from that moment, we hated each other. 952 00:50:33,822 --> 00:50:35,282 Oh, man. 953 00:50:36,617 --> 00:50:40,371 - And then you fell in love. Oh! - Yeah. Then we fell in love. 954 00:50:40,579 --> 00:50:44,583 - Ha, ha! - Hey, now. I think this is our exit. 955 00:50:44,792 --> 00:50:47,294 David, could you grab me the map out of the glove box? 956 00:50:47,795 --> 00:50:49,129 Yes, sir. 957 00:50:49,880 --> 00:50:52,591 - Whoa. Whoa. Uh... ROSE: Whoa! 958 00:50:52,800 --> 00:50:55,761 DON: Oh, hey, sorry about that, buddy. Didn't mean to scare you there. 959 00:50:55,970 --> 00:50:57,805 That's just my service pistol and badge. 960 00:50:58,013 --> 00:51:00,099 Oh. Your badge. 961 00:51:00,683 --> 00:51:03,102 - Are you a cop? - No, no, no. 962 00:51:03,310 --> 00:51:04,979 No? Oh, God. 963 00:51:06,063 --> 00:51:07,272 - I'm in the DEA. ROSE: Oh. 964 00:51:09,817 --> 00:51:12,486 [BREATHES DEEPLY] 965 00:51:13,237 --> 00:51:16,115 Yeah, my Don has been an agent for the last 22 years. 966 00:51:16,323 --> 00:51:17,992 On a bit of a hiatus at the moment. 967 00:51:18,200 --> 00:51:21,078 They took him out of the field, he wasn't aggressive enough. 968 00:51:21,286 --> 00:51:23,497 - That's enough. - I'm sorry. It's not right, Don. 969 00:51:23,706 --> 00:51:26,750 Those young guns aren't half the agent you are, those crumb-bums. 970 00:51:26,959 --> 00:51:29,461 Edith, you know how I feel about your cussing. 971 00:51:29,670 --> 00:51:32,881 - I'm sorry, Don. - Edith can be a little hot-blooded at times. 972 00:51:33,090 --> 00:51:35,884 - I'm 1/8 Italian, so... ROSE: Oh. It's okay. 973 00:51:37,052 --> 00:51:40,848 Uh, hey, if you guys will excuse me. 974 00:51:41,056 --> 00:51:42,850 - Wanna join me? - Where are you off to? 975 00:51:43,058 --> 00:51:45,352 - We're gonna check on the baby. - Gonna take a dump. 976 00:51:45,561 --> 00:51:47,938 - Check the baby's dumps. ROSE: That's what we should say. 977 00:51:48,147 --> 00:51:51,191 - Yeah, just go check on Lebanon. - LeBron. His name's LeBron. 978 00:51:51,400 --> 00:51:54,987 He just has a terrible tummy. And it's just bad diarrhea stuff. 979 00:51:55,195 --> 00:51:56,530 DON: Do we still have cornstarch? 980 00:51:56,739 --> 00:51:58,949 EDIE: Yeah, there's cornstarch for his bottom. 981 00:51:59,158 --> 00:52:00,826 - Family meeting. - Yep. 982 00:52:01,827 --> 00:52:03,662 EDIE: I'm getting my hands on that baby. 983 00:52:06,165 --> 00:52:08,333 He's a narc? Are you fucking kidding me?! 984 00:52:08,667 --> 00:52:12,004 Stop panicking! We haven't done anything suspicious yet, so just relax! 985 00:52:12,296 --> 00:52:15,632 Oh, really? Okay. What about when they wanna hold our precious weed baby? 986 00:52:15,841 --> 00:52:17,176 Give me the baby, all right? 987 00:52:17,384 --> 00:52:19,720 I'll handle it if it happens. I'll take care of it. 988 00:52:19,928 --> 00:52:23,474 Right now, all we have to do is get away from that fucked up family. 989 00:52:23,849 --> 00:52:25,476 Oh, fuck. Why are we stopping? 990 00:52:25,684 --> 00:52:29,146 They heard us. They heard us. Fuck, we're going to jail. 991 00:52:31,899 --> 00:52:34,026 No, no, no. We're just at the garage, okay? 992 00:52:34,234 --> 00:52:37,196 Everybody calm down. We haven't done anything. You're right. 993 00:52:37,404 --> 00:52:40,908 I'll ditch this guy real fast. We're gonna get in and get out of here, okay? 994 00:52:41,116 --> 00:52:43,744 Game face, okay? Miller time. Here we go. 995 00:52:45,079 --> 00:52:46,663 No other repair shops nearby? 996 00:52:46,872 --> 00:52:51,001 Run by a Christian and open after supper on a Saturday night? No, sir. 997 00:52:51,293 --> 00:52:54,880 Ah, shoot. I'd give you the hose out of our rig and send you on your way... 998 00:52:55,089 --> 00:52:56,757 but we'd be stranded ourselves. 999 00:52:57,257 --> 00:53:00,177 Besides, this way we can all get to know each other better. 1000 00:53:00,427 --> 00:53:02,721 - What's happening? - They're closed till morning. 1001 00:53:03,138 --> 00:53:04,515 Oklahoma. 1002 00:53:05,224 --> 00:53:06,266 Oh, God. 1003 00:53:06,475 --> 00:53:09,061 You folks can make camp with the Fitzgeralds tonight. 1004 00:53:09,269 --> 00:53:13,315 I know a great spot. We'll set up the old tents and you can bed down in our Winni. 1005 00:53:13,524 --> 00:53:16,110 - I'll give you a hand with your gear. - No, no, no. 1006 00:53:16,318 --> 00:53:18,362 That's okay. Millers carry their own weight. 1007 00:53:18,654 --> 00:53:21,573 - I knew I liked you, David. - Kenny, you wanna get our shit? 1008 00:53:22,366 --> 00:53:24,618 - Hey. - This will be a hoot. 1009 00:53:25,077 --> 00:53:28,288 I'll watch your little one so you and your man can have some snuggle time. 1010 00:53:28,497 --> 00:53:30,958 - I don't want you to have to... - I am good with babies. 1011 00:53:31,166 --> 00:53:33,544 Nonsense! Oh, give me the baby. Give me that baby! 1012 00:53:34,753 --> 00:53:36,046 [GASPS] 1013 00:53:36,255 --> 00:53:37,297 [HORN BLARING] 1014 00:53:37,506 --> 00:53:39,591 [ALL SCREAM] 1015 00:53:45,013 --> 00:53:46,056 Shit! 1016 00:53:47,474 --> 00:53:48,517 EDIE: Oh, my God! 1017 00:53:49,726 --> 00:53:51,770 Oh, my God! 1018 00:53:52,437 --> 00:53:55,649 Oh, my God. Why isn't there blood?! 1019 00:53:55,858 --> 00:53:58,735 Oh, my God! What's happening? 1020 00:53:58,944 --> 00:54:02,906 Thanks a lot, Morn. Now what am I supposed to use for my health project? 1021 00:54:03,115 --> 00:54:05,367 I'm gonna fail and have to go to community college. 1022 00:54:05,576 --> 00:54:08,120 - My future's ruined! - Honey. 1023 00:54:08,495 --> 00:54:10,330 Mrs. Fitzgerald, are you all right? 1024 00:54:10,539 --> 00:54:13,834 - That baby was...? - Oh, did you think that LeBron was...? 1025 00:54:14,042 --> 00:54:17,880 ALL: Heh-heh-heh. - No, no, no. LeBron was a sack of herbs. 1026 00:54:18,088 --> 00:54:19,673 Oregano and basil mostly. 1027 00:54:19,882 --> 00:54:22,593 We were just treating it like a real baby, a summer project. 1028 00:54:22,801 --> 00:54:25,137 - Extra credit. DAVID: It teaches the students that... 1029 00:54:25,345 --> 00:54:26,985 nothing ruins your life like children. 1030 00:54:27,681 --> 00:54:31,143 Yeah. And it also sends that message to teens, just stick to the big A. 1031 00:54:31,351 --> 00:54:33,145 - Yeah, anal. - Abstinence, you meant. 1032 00:54:34,396 --> 00:54:36,231 - Neither makes a baby. - He confuses them. 1033 00:54:37,024 --> 00:54:39,860 Anyway, I'm so sorry, Edie. We promised our Casey... 1034 00:54:40,068 --> 00:54:43,655 that we would treat it like a real baby all summer and we went too far. 1035 00:54:43,864 --> 00:54:44,907 Got used to it. Sorry. 1036 00:54:45,115 --> 00:54:46,658 ROSE: And so I'm embarrassed, actually. 1037 00:54:46,867 --> 00:54:48,535 I think that would scare anybody. 1038 00:54:48,744 --> 00:54:52,039 She's very emotional. You should have seen her at the end of Free Willy. 1039 00:54:52,247 --> 00:54:53,457 Oh, stop it, Don. 1040 00:54:55,876 --> 00:54:57,294 I love that whale. 1041 00:54:57,669 --> 00:55:00,130 Well, who loves campfire games? 1042 00:55:00,297 --> 00:55:02,132 EDIE: Oh, Don. 1043 00:55:04,843 --> 00:55:07,095 Ladies and gentlemen, it's my pleasure to welcome you... 1044 00:55:07,262 --> 00:55:10,390 to the annual singing Fitzgerald family jamboree. 1045 00:55:11,391 --> 00:55:13,352 Our usual guests couldn't be here this year. 1046 00:55:13,769 --> 00:55:17,189 - Uh, they're called the Osmond family. - Ha-ha-ha! 1047 00:55:17,356 --> 00:55:19,650 [BOTH LAUGHING] 1048 00:55:19,816 --> 00:55:25,197 But in their place this year we have the very talented and wonderful Miller family. 1049 00:55:26,240 --> 00:55:29,785 Let's get this party started with a Fitzgerald family favorite. 1050 00:55:30,410 --> 00:55:33,247 [SINGING] Breakin' rocks in the hot sun 1051 00:55:33,413 --> 00:55:36,166 I fought the law and the law won 1052 00:55:36,333 --> 00:55:39,753 I fought the law and the law won 1053 00:55:39,920 --> 00:55:41,255 It always does. 1054 00:55:41,421 --> 00:55:44,716 DON: I needed to steal some money 'Cause I had none 1055 00:55:44,883 --> 00:55:47,177 I fought the law and the law won 1056 00:55:47,344 --> 00:55:48,387 Now just the Millers. 1057 00:55:48,553 --> 00:55:52,057 ALL [SINGING]: I fought the law and the law won 1058 00:55:52,224 --> 00:55:55,727 I fought the law and the law won 1059 00:55:56,687 --> 00:56:00,691 I want you to imagine you committed a felony, you've been tried and sent to prison... 1060 00:56:00,857 --> 00:56:04,569 and you're standing out in the sun breaking up rocks with a Sledgehammer. And... 1061 00:56:04,736 --> 00:56:07,656 [SINGING] I fought the law and the law won 1062 00:56:07,823 --> 00:56:10,659 I fought the law and the law won 1063 00:56:10,826 --> 00:56:12,586 - All right, that's great. ROSE: That's good. 1064 00:56:12,703 --> 00:56:15,163 DAVID: That's fun. Great song. - I love it. That was great. 1065 00:56:15,330 --> 00:56:16,873 Great choice. 1066 00:56:17,040 --> 00:56:20,377 - Great, kids. - Well, that was an A for effort. 1067 00:56:20,544 --> 00:56:23,171 - Whoo! I got the spirit! - That's great. 1068 00:56:23,338 --> 00:56:24,578 EDIE: It's a bird, it's a plane. 1069 00:56:24,715 --> 00:56:27,718 DON: U.S. Air Force, U.S. Air Force. Ollie North! EDIE: Take me home to... 1070 00:56:27,884 --> 00:56:29,261 EDIE: Looks like a sea animal. 1071 00:56:29,720 --> 00:56:30,846 Hammer tooth shark. 1072 00:56:31,054 --> 00:56:35,600 [WHISPERING] We wait until they fall asleep and then we sneak into their tent, all right? 1073 00:56:35,809 --> 00:56:37,728 [WHISPERING] Mm. Cut their throats. 1074 00:56:38,478 --> 00:56:40,355 - What? - What? 1075 00:56:40,564 --> 00:56:42,357 No. Jesus. 1076 00:56:42,691 --> 00:56:44,568 - What the fuck's wrong with you? - Nothing. 1077 00:56:44,776 --> 00:56:48,238 I wasn't saying to do that. I didn't say that. I thought you were gonna it. 1078 00:56:48,447 --> 00:56:50,824 You thought I was gonna say "out their throats"? 1079 00:56:51,283 --> 00:56:53,660 Who do you think I am, Scarface? Give me a break. 1080 00:56:53,869 --> 00:56:55,749 DON: Herbert Walker Bush! EDIE: Paper airplanes! 1081 00:56:56,330 --> 00:56:57,622 Clowns. Clown sandwich. 1082 00:56:57,831 --> 00:56:59,458 Don't lock the baby in the basement. 1083 00:56:59,666 --> 00:57:02,711 What I was gonna say: We sneak into the tent, steal Don's keys... 1084 00:57:02,919 --> 00:57:06,673 then we take the RV back to the shop and I can swap out their radiator hose for ours. 1085 00:57:06,882 --> 00:57:08,925 Ah. Got it. 1086 00:57:09,134 --> 00:57:11,887 - The Earth! The Earth is on fire! - Atmosphere. 1087 00:57:12,095 --> 00:57:13,347 EDIE: Uh... 1088 00:57:13,555 --> 00:57:14,681 [WHISPERS] Plain and simple. 1089 00:57:14,890 --> 00:57:16,475 Al Qaeda! Al Qaeda! 1090 00:57:16,683 --> 00:57:18,185 [BELL RINGS] 1091 00:57:18,393 --> 00:57:19,644 It was "plain and simple." 1092 00:57:19,853 --> 00:57:25,108 - See, this was a plane, and then this W... - Oh, Melissa, of course it was. 1093 00:57:25,484 --> 00:57:26,735 That is so clever. 1094 00:57:26,943 --> 00:57:28,695 Gosh, I thought it was really good. 1095 00:57:29,404 --> 00:57:31,239 I'm a terrible drawer, so... 1096 00:57:32,449 --> 00:57:34,326 - Great, because you're up next. - Ah. 1097 00:57:36,286 --> 00:57:38,413 - Passing the baton. KENNY: Nice work. 1098 00:57:38,622 --> 00:57:40,422 ROSE [IN NORMAL VOICE]: Okay. Let's go, Kenny. 1099 00:57:40,624 --> 00:57:42,376 DAVID [IN NORMAL VOICE] All right, Kenny, here we go. 1100 00:57:42,584 --> 00:57:44,878 - Draw your brains out. ROSE: All right, that's a line. 1101 00:57:45,087 --> 00:57:47,255 - A slash. Guns and Roses. - Looks like a spring. 1102 00:57:47,464 --> 00:57:50,509 What is that? That's a... Kenny, come on, draw something, buddy. 1103 00:57:50,717 --> 00:57:51,843 CASEY: String. DAVID: Come on, son. 1104 00:57:52,052 --> 00:57:54,554 - Rocket. It's a rocket or... - ls that a cucumber? 1105 00:57:54,763 --> 00:57:56,056 This is really stupid. 1106 00:57:56,264 --> 00:57:58,892 DAVID: ls it a bad drawing, Kenny? My guess is "bad drawing." 1107 00:57:59,393 --> 00:58:02,646 - It's... - Oh! A penis! A penis. 1108 00:58:03,188 --> 00:58:06,233 It's a big dick. Those are balls. 1109 00:58:06,441 --> 00:58:09,653 It's a big black dick! It's a drawing. Black! It's a big black dick. 1110 00:58:10,612 --> 00:58:12,864 It's a big, big black cock! 1111 00:58:13,657 --> 00:58:14,783 Black Cock Down! 1112 00:58:14,991 --> 00:58:17,077 [DON SIGHS THEN BELL RINGS] 1113 00:58:19,955 --> 00:58:21,206 It's a skateboard. 1114 00:58:21,498 --> 00:58:24,251 - It's a skateboard, great. - A skateboard. Of course it is. 1115 00:58:24,459 --> 00:58:27,379 - It's a big black skateboard. ROSE: I see it. 1116 00:58:27,587 --> 00:58:30,590 Of course. It's very clear. But, you see, it was up... There's... 1117 00:58:30,799 --> 00:58:34,052 Its wheels, so I didn't see it down on the ground, and then it... 1118 00:58:37,931 --> 00:58:40,642 Black Cock Down? Black Cock Down? 1119 00:58:40,851 --> 00:58:43,478 Nice job, Meryl Streep. Very subtle character work. 1120 00:58:43,687 --> 00:58:45,689 Not my fault that Kenny can't draw. 1121 00:58:45,897 --> 00:58:47,566 DAVID: Don't you pick on Kenny. 1122 00:58:47,774 --> 00:58:50,152 ROSE: Nothing about that looked like a skateboard. 1123 00:58:50,360 --> 00:58:53,196 You leave him alone. Where the hell's Kenny? 1124 00:58:53,405 --> 00:58:55,490 - You guys, come here. - What? 1125 00:58:55,699 --> 00:58:57,367 - What's going on? - Look at these two. 1126 00:58:57,576 --> 00:58:59,411 ROSE: Aww. DAVID: Uh-oh. 1127 00:59:02,164 --> 00:59:04,791 - Guess I'm not the best drawer. - No, you were great. 1128 00:59:05,000 --> 00:59:07,043 - I knew that was a skateboard. - Yeah. 1129 00:59:07,419 --> 00:59:10,338 - I don't know where the confusion was. - No, I... That... 1130 00:59:10,630 --> 00:59:12,132 Yeah. 1131 00:59:13,049 --> 00:59:16,094 I, um, really like your family. They're, uh... 1132 00:59:16,303 --> 00:59:19,890 - They're different. - Well, they're not my family. I mean... 1133 00:59:20,098 --> 00:59:21,558 Yeah, no, I get what you mean. 1134 00:59:21,766 --> 00:59:23,685 - She wants him to kiss her. - Absolutely. 1135 00:59:23,894 --> 00:59:27,189 CASEY: She does, right? - And sometimes I feel like I'm adopted... 1136 00:59:27,397 --> 00:59:29,524 or an alien, you know, or something. 1137 00:59:29,733 --> 00:59:32,652 Right. That's what I meant. Um... 1138 00:59:32,861 --> 00:59:35,405 But also, you know, I would totally adopt you. 1139 00:59:35,906 --> 00:59:37,115 You know, um... 1140 00:59:38,658 --> 00:59:41,912 Not that I wanna be your daddy. I just, uh... 1141 00:59:42,412 --> 00:59:44,581 DAVID: He's talking too much. CASEY: He won't shut up. 1142 00:59:47,042 --> 00:59:48,335 Uh, well, good night. 1143 00:59:48,543 --> 00:59:50,337 [ALL GROAN] 1144 00:59:50,545 --> 00:59:52,339 - I'll see you. - Okay. Um... 1145 00:59:52,797 --> 00:59:53,965 Fucking hug. 1146 00:59:54,174 --> 00:59:55,258 (0K8)'- 1147 00:59:56,676 --> 00:59:57,719 And, uh, Melissa? 1148 00:59:58,595 --> 01:00:01,598 - Yeah? - Uh, watch out for bears. 1149 01:00:01,806 --> 01:00:05,393 Um, you know. Can't see them coming. 1150 01:00:06,019 --> 01:00:07,270 Good tip. 1151 01:00:13,860 --> 01:00:16,821 That poor kid. Well, you should go talk to him. 1152 01:00:17,280 --> 01:00:18,490 Who? 1153 01:00:19,491 --> 01:00:21,331 I said you should go... Well, who do you think? 1154 01:00:21,493 --> 01:00:23,411 Me? What the hell am I gonna say? 1155 01:00:23,620 --> 01:00:25,330 Talk to him about guy stuff. 1156 01:00:25,872 --> 01:00:28,917 - Jesus fucking Christ. - Come on, how hard is it? Just go. 1157 01:00:34,297 --> 01:00:37,175 DAVID: Hey, man, how you doing? - Hey. 1158 01:00:37,384 --> 01:00:39,386 - Anybody sitting here? - Uh, no. 1159 01:00:39,594 --> 01:00:42,639 Well, good, good, good, good. All right. 1160 01:00:44,099 --> 01:00:45,475 So, um... 1161 01:00:46,518 --> 01:00:49,521 I saw what just happened with you and Melissa. 1162 01:00:50,230 --> 01:00:51,940 - Oh. - Um... 1163 01:00:52,148 --> 01:00:56,820 You know, you don't have to be scared to kiss a girl. Heh-heh. 1164 01:00:57,028 --> 01:01:01,324 I mean, you damn near sucked a guy's dick nine hours ago. What are you shy now for? 1165 01:01:02,033 --> 01:01:03,660 That's not funny, David. 1166 01:01:06,329 --> 01:01:09,124 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 1167 01:01:09,916 --> 01:01:12,043 It was a bad joke. Ahem. 1168 01:01:14,337 --> 01:01:17,090 You wanna know something I used to do when I was your age... 1169 01:01:17,299 --> 01:01:19,467 kept me from getting nervous around girls? 1170 01:01:20,218 --> 01:01:23,430 - Yeah. - I would just count to three. 1171 01:01:24,347 --> 01:01:26,266 - Count to three? - Yeah. 1172 01:01:26,850 --> 01:01:29,561 - That's your big advice? Count to three? - Yeah. 1173 01:01:29,769 --> 01:01:33,940 I mean, if you ever wanna kiss a girl or ask her to go out, or I mean... 1174 01:01:34,149 --> 01:01:37,694 Actually, if you get scared of anything, just do this: just count to three... 1175 01:01:37,902 --> 01:01:39,237 and then do it. 1176 01:01:40,196 --> 01:01:44,743 Because if you take too long, you over think it and you'll just drive yourself crazy. 1177 01:01:44,951 --> 01:01:46,786 Trust me, it'll change your life. 1178 01:01:48,163 --> 01:01:49,914 I guess that makes sense. 1179 01:01:51,166 --> 01:01:53,501 - Thanks. - Yeah. No problem. 1180 01:01:53,710 --> 01:01:57,130 And, you know, if you have any other questions... 1181 01:01:57,339 --> 01:01:59,299 about, like, the birds and the bees... 1182 01:01:59,507 --> 01:02:02,177 who puts what into where, any of that fun stuff... 1183 01:02:02,385 --> 01:02:05,013 just don't hesitate to ask, okay? 1184 01:02:05,221 --> 01:02:06,264 - Okay. - Okay. 1185 01:02:06,556 --> 01:02:07,956 - Good talk. KENNY: Yeah, good talk. 1186 01:02:08,141 --> 01:02:10,018 DAVID: Oh, my back. 1187 01:02:10,560 --> 01:02:12,937 - So old. KENNY: Yeah. 1188 01:02:18,526 --> 01:02:20,654 [OWL HOOTING] 1189 01:02:35,418 --> 01:02:39,881 [MOUTHING] Wait. You go in. I'll keep a lookout, okay? Good. 1190 01:02:40,090 --> 01:02:43,718 [MOUTHING] Fuck you. This was your idea. You're going the fuck in there. 1191 01:02:43,927 --> 01:02:45,553 Why are you yelling at me? 1192 01:02:45,762 --> 01:02:47,806 I am not yelling at you. 1193 01:02:48,014 --> 01:02:50,433 Okay. Okay. 1194 01:02:52,310 --> 01:02:53,561 Watch. 1195 01:03:09,119 --> 01:03:10,537 Bin Laden! 1196 01:03:11,663 --> 01:03:13,206 What's happening? Ls it raccoons? 1197 01:03:14,499 --> 01:03:15,625 God. 1198 01:03:16,126 --> 01:03:17,669 You were right about them, Edith. 1199 01:03:17,877 --> 01:03:19,629 - No. I'm so sorry. - Let me explain. 1200 01:03:19,838 --> 01:03:21,256 This is completely explainable. 1201 01:03:21,464 --> 01:03:23,717 - A misunderstanding. - We didn't mean to do this. 1202 01:03:25,385 --> 01:03:27,745 - You just have to understand something. ROSE: Mm-hm, mm-hm. 1203 01:03:30,056 --> 01:03:33,435 We have never done anything like this with another couple before. 1204 01:03:34,227 --> 01:03:35,645 Uh-huh. 1205 01:03:35,854 --> 01:03:38,440 That's no judgment on you. We're no squares. 1206 01:03:38,648 --> 01:03:40,817 - I own a vibrator. - That's right, she does. 1207 01:03:41,693 --> 01:03:43,293 - Awesome. DON: I wasn't for it at first. 1208 01:03:43,486 --> 01:03:46,448 The darn thing's made in China, for cripes' sake... 1209 01:03:46,656 --> 01:03:51,369 but when you've been married this long you look for anything to spice things up. 1210 01:03:51,578 --> 01:03:55,415 So, of course we've discussed a scenario like this. 1211 01:03:55,623 --> 01:03:59,711 Yes. And tonight when you brought up that big black "baby maker"... 1212 01:04:00,712 --> 01:04:02,839 DON: Well, we got it. - Loud and clear. 1213 01:04:03,047 --> 01:04:05,341 Our vibrator is named "Joe Morgan." 1214 01:04:05,884 --> 01:04:08,720 We were picking up what you were putting down. 1215 01:04:09,095 --> 01:04:11,055 EDIE: Same page. - Interesting. 1216 01:04:11,264 --> 01:04:15,310 We're very flattered by this, but right now, in the middle of the night... 1217 01:04:15,518 --> 01:04:18,938 I'm not sure I'm really ready for it. Aw, Don. 1218 01:04:19,147 --> 01:04:21,441 Got it. Totally understood. Not a problem. 1219 01:04:21,649 --> 01:04:22,984 We just had to ask. So... 1220 01:04:23,193 --> 01:04:24,486 EDIE: Wait. I have an idea. 1221 01:04:26,321 --> 01:04:30,992 Okay. Maybe I could take a baby step tonight. 1222 01:04:31,201 --> 01:04:33,745 I mean, my mouth is for my marriage. 1223 01:04:33,995 --> 01:04:36,915 But I've never touched another woman before. 1224 01:04:40,043 --> 01:04:43,338 I would be okay with that. Yeah. 1225 01:04:44,047 --> 01:04:45,089 EDIE: Oh, great. 1226 01:04:45,965 --> 01:04:47,217 Rose? 1227 01:04:48,218 --> 01:04:50,470 - There you go. - Okay. All right, I'm sitting. 1228 01:04:50,762 --> 01:04:52,180 - Are you okay? - David. 1229 01:04:52,388 --> 01:04:55,350 - Mother to mother, is this okay with you? - Yes. "Mother." Yes. 1230 01:04:55,558 --> 01:04:57,894 - Are you sure? - Let's get this mother started. 1231 01:04:58,102 --> 01:05:00,522 - Shall we? Okay. EDIE: Ha-ha-ha! 1232 01:05:00,772 --> 01:05:03,775 - Okay, Don, are you watching? - I'm good. 1233 01:05:04,734 --> 01:05:06,569 Okay. Uh, wow. 1234 01:05:06,778 --> 01:05:09,405 My heart's pounding so fast in my chest. 1235 01:05:09,614 --> 01:05:12,242 - Ahem. So I guess we're swinging. - Hmm? Oh, yeah. 1236 01:05:12,450 --> 01:05:14,285 Ooh. Ha, ha. 1237 01:05:14,494 --> 01:05:15,912 EDIE: Sorry that I'm taking so long. 1238 01:05:16,120 --> 01:05:18,206 Hello. Ha-ha-ha! 1239 01:05:19,833 --> 01:05:22,877 Okay, I'm just gonna do it real fast. There we go. 1240 01:05:23,586 --> 01:05:25,004 - There they are. - There they are. 1241 01:05:25,213 --> 01:05:28,466 - Wow! Wow! ROSE: It's happening. This is happening. 1242 01:05:29,467 --> 01:05:32,554 EDIE: Don, are you looking at this? I'm touching her boobs. 1243 01:05:32,971 --> 01:05:35,014 - This is a miracle. - Okey-doke. 1244 01:05:35,223 --> 01:05:38,476 - Would you like to feel my breasts? - I think that's enough for tonight. 1245 01:05:38,685 --> 01:05:40,478 - You're right. - Don't give away the farm. 1246 01:05:40,687 --> 01:05:42,438 - A little roughhouse? - We should wait. 1247 01:05:43,273 --> 01:05:45,400 - Are you okay down there? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1248 01:05:45,608 --> 01:05:46,985 Have fun tonight, kids. 1249 01:05:48,361 --> 01:05:52,282 ROSE: Awesome. - I'm never gonna wash these hands. 1250 01:05:52,490 --> 01:05:53,825 Mwah, mwah, mwah! 1251 01:05:54,409 --> 01:05:55,660 Thank you so much. 1252 01:05:56,035 --> 01:05:58,075 ROSE: Good night. That was great. - Okay, bye, guys. 1253 01:05:58,204 --> 01:06:00,206 Great. What now, genius? 1254 01:06:00,373 --> 01:06:02,417 - Tell me... What? - Oh, 0h, oh. I don't know. 1255 01:06:02,584 --> 01:06:04,085 I just got ear fucked in a tent. 1256 01:06:04,252 --> 01:06:07,046 If you let her finger bang you they would have given us the keys. 1257 01:06:07,213 --> 01:06:09,966 Oh, really? Why don't you go suck Don's dick for them... 1258 01:06:10,133 --> 01:06:13,303 and then you get the keys? He was certainly loving on those earlobes. 1259 01:06:13,469 --> 01:06:16,890 Okay, look. First, unlike you, I only suck a man's dick if I'm in love, okay? 1260 01:06:17,056 --> 01:06:18,725 That's kind of a personal rule I have. 1261 01:06:18,892 --> 01:06:21,144 - Yeah, and secondly... And secondly... - What? 1262 01:06:24,147 --> 01:06:27,275 I don't have a second one. I don't know where I was going with that. 1263 01:06:27,442 --> 01:06:29,319 Fucking idiot. 1264 01:06:29,944 --> 01:06:31,863 Oh, I thought of one. I got one. 1265 01:06:32,030 --> 01:06:34,365 [VIBRATOR HUMMING AND DON & EDIE GIGGLING] 1266 01:06:35,909 --> 01:06:38,036 DON: Here comes Joe Morgan up to the plate. 1267 01:06:38,202 --> 01:06:39,329 [BOTH GIGGLE] 1268 01:06:39,495 --> 01:06:40,788 EDIE: Oh, Don. 1269 01:06:41,623 --> 01:06:43,041 [KENNY SIGHS] 1270 01:06:46,419 --> 01:06:47,462 Okay, what? 1271 01:06:49,547 --> 01:06:50,882 What? What do you mean? 1272 01:06:51,090 --> 01:06:52,425 Do you wanna talk about it... 1273 01:06:52,634 --> 01:06:55,386 or mope around like someone kicked you in the vagina? 1274 01:06:57,388 --> 01:06:59,307 Okay. Um... 1275 01:06:59,515 --> 01:07:01,559 Well, I've never really like... 1276 01:07:01,768 --> 01:07:03,936 Had sex before. Shocker. 1277 01:07:04,145 --> 01:07:05,647 Kissed a girl before. 1278 01:07:06,230 --> 01:07:09,609 Wait, what? I thought you said you were like 18. 1279 01:07:09,984 --> 01:07:12,403 - Okay, you know what, forget it. - Okay, okay, wait. Okay. 1280 01:07:12,612 --> 01:07:15,615 Come on. Sit down. Don't need to be so dramatic. 1281 01:07:15,823 --> 01:07:18,409 Look, it's okay that you haven't kissed a girl. 1282 01:07:18,618 --> 01:07:20,787 I'm sure there are some girls... 1283 01:07:20,995 --> 01:07:22,747 who I've never met... 1284 01:07:23,206 --> 01:07:25,541 that find inexperience kind of sweet. 1285 01:07:25,750 --> 01:07:30,171 I don't wanna be a sweet, inexperienced guy who's never been worth kissing. 1286 01:07:30,963 --> 01:07:35,635 I wanna be the guy who grabs a girl and kisses her. You know? 1287 01:07:38,763 --> 01:07:41,432 Okay, let me make one thing clear. 1288 01:07:41,641 --> 01:07:44,686 This isn't one of those moments where the girl kisses the boy... 1289 01:07:44,894 --> 01:07:47,897 and realizes she's been in love with him the whole time, okay? 1290 01:07:48,731 --> 01:07:50,858 You're my fake brother and you're a sweet kid... 1291 01:07:51,067 --> 01:07:53,569 so this is for you to bring back to Melissa. 1292 01:07:53,778 --> 01:07:55,863 - What is? - I'm gonna kiss you, dingus. 1293 01:07:56,739 --> 01:07:58,241 Oh. 1294 01:07:59,826 --> 01:08:02,495 - What are you doing? Shut your eyes. - Okay, sorry. Right. 1295 01:08:02,704 --> 01:08:04,914 That's weird. That's really weird. 1296 01:08:05,123 --> 01:08:07,166 - Sorry. - All right. Ahem. 1297 01:08:12,797 --> 01:08:14,966 That was okay. Now more tongue. 1298 01:08:15,174 --> 01:08:17,385 Tongue. I can do that. 1299 01:08:20,096 --> 01:08:22,265 Too much tongue. Too much tongue. 1300 01:08:22,724 --> 01:08:26,060 Right. Too much... Yeah, that's my fault. My bad. Sorry. 1301 01:08:28,104 --> 01:08:29,188 Less tongue. 1302 01:08:34,736 --> 01:08:35,778 That was good. 1303 01:08:36,946 --> 01:08:39,866 All right, now this time, I want you to choke me a little bit. 1304 01:08:40,074 --> 01:08:44,036 - Uh, okay. DAVID: Whoa. What's going on here? 1305 01:08:44,245 --> 01:08:45,705 Uh, it's... 1306 01:08:45,913 --> 01:08:48,833 - We're not doing what it looks like. - Really? 1307 01:08:49,083 --> 01:08:51,711 It looks like Casey's teaching you how to kiss out of pity. 1308 01:08:51,919 --> 01:08:53,087 CASEY: Mm-hm. 1309 01:08:53,296 --> 01:08:55,840 Uh, well, then it is what it looks like, yeah. 1310 01:08:56,215 --> 01:08:57,467 Really. 1311 01:08:57,842 --> 01:08:59,260 What did you teach him? 1312 01:08:59,469 --> 01:09:02,388 The basics. He's never kissed a girl before. 1313 01:09:02,889 --> 01:09:05,516 You haven't? Oh. Well, honey, show me. 1314 01:09:05,725 --> 01:09:07,894 - Uh, really? - Yes. 1315 01:09:08,478 --> 01:09:09,604 Okay. Uh... 1316 01:09:12,231 --> 01:09:14,442 Oh. Not bad. 1317 01:09:14,650 --> 01:09:15,985 It's not bad. 1318 01:09:16,486 --> 01:09:18,154 - Try this. - Okay. 1319 01:09:18,362 --> 01:09:19,447 Come here. 1320 01:09:21,365 --> 01:09:22,784 [KENNY GRUNTS] 1321 01:09:22,992 --> 01:09:24,035 There you go. 1322 01:09:26,287 --> 01:09:28,206 You feel that? What I did with my tongue? 1323 01:09:28,956 --> 01:09:32,168 - Yes, ma'am. - Show Casey what you just learned. 1324 01:09:35,838 --> 01:09:37,381 Look at that. 1325 01:09:38,299 --> 01:09:40,676 Mm! Whoa! 1326 01:09:40,885 --> 01:09:42,136 DAVID: Wait. Hold on. 1327 01:09:42,345 --> 01:09:46,224 I wanna get a picture of you with the first girl you ever kissed. Here you go. 1328 01:09:46,432 --> 01:09:47,975 - Mm-hm. Make it good. - Good. 1329 01:09:48,184 --> 01:09:51,062 Rose. Get in there. There you go. Photo bomb it. 1330 01:09:52,146 --> 01:09:54,607 - This is getting better, it's getting better. - Okay. 1331 01:09:58,611 --> 01:10:00,112 ROSE: It's so cute. 1332 01:10:00,321 --> 01:10:02,448 DAVID: Use your hands. They got so much fun stuff to play with. 1333 01:10:02,657 --> 01:10:04,283 You're not using your hands. 1334 01:10:09,163 --> 01:10:10,706 MELISSA: Kenny? 1335 01:10:13,042 --> 01:10:15,294 - No, Melissa... It's, uh... - I'm sorry. 1336 01:10:15,503 --> 01:10:17,004 KENNY: Melissa, wait. 1337 01:10:18,089 --> 01:10:19,215 Fuck. 1338 01:10:20,466 --> 01:10:23,302 You know, there's a 50-50 chance she'll be into it. 1339 01:10:23,511 --> 01:10:25,429 [WHISPERS] Red head. They're crazy. 1340 01:10:34,897 --> 01:10:37,567 Grab your things, guys. Kenny, grab my stuff. Thanks. 1341 01:10:37,733 --> 01:10:40,152 - Here we go. - Well, looks like you're ready to roll. 1342 01:10:40,319 --> 01:10:43,990 Gary called me first thing. He seemed real eager for y'all to come pick her up. 1343 01:10:44,156 --> 01:10:46,826 - Good. Good, good, good. Okay. - Guess this is it, then. 1344 01:10:46,993 --> 01:10:49,754 - Good luck to you, David. - Hey, thank you, Don. Take care, will you? 1345 01:10:49,912 --> 01:10:53,499 Hey, yeah, listen, I would appreciate it if you kept what happened last night... 1346 01:10:53,666 --> 01:10:55,960 all that Chinese vibrator talk, between us. 1347 01:10:56,127 --> 01:10:59,171 - Yeah. - If folks at my church found out about that... 1348 01:10:59,338 --> 01:11:02,925 Yeah. Oh, yeah. No, no. I get it. Yeah. No, say no more. Mum's the word, okay? 1349 01:11:03,092 --> 01:11:04,212 Before you go running off... 1350 01:11:04,343 --> 01:11:06,679 - Yeah? - Well, last night notwithstanding... 1351 01:11:06,846 --> 01:11:09,724 things bedroom-wise between me and Mrs. Fitzgerald... 1352 01:11:09,891 --> 01:11:12,977 - haven't been a real five-alarm fire of late. - Okay. 1353 01:11:13,144 --> 01:11:16,606 Now that I'm not working as much, we have a chance to light the flame again... 1354 01:11:16,772 --> 01:11:19,692 - but our matches are wet. - Mm-hm. Mm-hm. 1355 01:11:19,859 --> 01:11:23,070 - If you catch my drift. - I do, yeah. 1356 01:11:23,237 --> 01:11:25,072 Yeah, the matches are genitals. I get it. 1357 01:11:25,239 --> 01:11:28,034 No, I was talking about our passion. 1358 01:11:28,200 --> 01:11:30,286 Right. Sorry, sorry. Of course. That's the way... 1359 01:11:30,453 --> 01:11:32,079 - That's okay. That's all right. - Yeah. 1360 01:11:32,246 --> 01:11:33,915 So we've been looking for new ideas... 1361 01:11:34,081 --> 01:11:37,084 and she read on the internet about this finger thing... 1362 01:11:37,251 --> 01:11:40,463 - Don, you don't need to share that with me. - No, no, it's okay. I want to. 1363 01:11:40,630 --> 01:11:42,214 Okay, as long as you're comfortable. 1364 01:11:42,381 --> 01:11:43,925 - I need your advice, David. - Mm-hm. 1365 01:11:44,258 --> 01:11:47,053 You and Rose seem hotter for each other than a couple mice... 1366 01:11:47,219 --> 01:11:49,263 having sexual congress in a wool sock. 1367 01:11:49,931 --> 01:11:51,349 - We do? - Yeah. 1368 01:11:51,515 --> 01:11:54,310 You're like newlyweds, the way you keep looking at each other. 1369 01:11:54,936 --> 01:11:57,396 - We are? - Yeah. I guess I just wanna know... 1370 01:11:57,563 --> 01:12:02,526 what do you do to keep things exciting after years in the same fishing hole? 1371 01:12:02,693 --> 01:12:04,820 - Hmm. - What's your secret? 1372 01:12:05,196 --> 01:12:06,405 Right. 1373 01:12:06,572 --> 01:12:08,658 - And by fishing hole you mean... - Genitals. 1374 01:12:08,824 --> 01:12:10,076 That's genitals. Okay. Um. 1375 01:12:10,242 --> 01:12:13,371 Yeah, urn, my secret? Uh... 1376 01:12:14,288 --> 01:12:16,332 Well, you know what I do, Don? 1377 01:12:16,666 --> 01:12:19,126 I just treat Rose like she's a stripper. 1378 01:12:20,503 --> 01:12:22,380 [CHUCKLES] 1379 01:12:22,546 --> 01:12:24,048 - No kidding? - No kidding. 1380 01:12:24,215 --> 01:12:26,342 Like she's a dirty, dirty stripper. 1381 01:12:28,511 --> 01:12:30,137 Okay. Heh-heh-heh. 1382 01:12:30,304 --> 01:12:31,764 Dirtier the better. Heh. 1383 01:12:31,931 --> 01:12:34,100 - Heh, heh. EDIE: Okay, watch your step. 1384 01:12:34,475 --> 01:12:37,103 It surprise... It sneaks up on you. 1385 01:12:37,520 --> 01:12:38,729 Everyone got your bags? 1386 01:12:39,230 --> 01:12:42,858 Oh. I am so sorry that Melissa isn't here to say goodbye. 1387 01:12:43,067 --> 01:12:44,667 She just won't come out of that bedroom. 1388 01:12:44,819 --> 01:12:47,613 You know, she's been sick to her tummy ever since last night. 1389 01:12:47,822 --> 01:12:51,117 - I think it was something that she ate. - Just tell her I'm really sorry. 1390 01:12:51,325 --> 01:12:52,660 - Oh, sure. - Oh. 1391 01:12:53,119 --> 01:12:54,453 EDIE: Sure will. 1392 01:12:56,247 --> 01:12:58,124 Oh, so sweet, kids. 1393 01:13:00,334 --> 01:13:02,420 [WHISPERS] You'll always be my special lover. 1394 01:13:04,005 --> 01:13:06,090 OW! Oh, Edie. 1395 01:13:07,299 --> 01:13:08,509 [IN NORMAL VOICE] Bye! 1396 01:13:08,718 --> 01:13:11,554 - Happy birthday, America! - Bye! 1397 01:13:11,762 --> 01:13:13,514 - See ya, now! - Bye-bye, now. 1398 01:13:13,723 --> 01:13:15,683 [DAVID CHUCKLING] 1399 01:13:15,891 --> 01:13:17,560 - Thank you. - Bye. 1400 01:13:17,768 --> 01:13:21,564 Let's get out of here. You guys, go to the RV. I'll get the keys from Skeeter. 1401 01:13:26,027 --> 01:13:27,445 Hello?! 1402 01:13:28,612 --> 01:13:30,698 [CELL PHONE RINGING] 1403 01:13:31,991 --> 01:13:33,784 Hey, Brad, I was just gonna call you. 1404 01:13:34,160 --> 01:13:36,203 Where are you? Thought you'd be here by now. 1405 01:13:36,370 --> 01:13:37,788 I told you I needed it today. 1406 01:13:37,955 --> 01:13:41,459 No, I know that. No, we just had a little bit of engine trouble's all, okay? 1407 01:13:41,625 --> 01:13:45,921 We're gonna be on the road in five minutes, at your front door in just a few hours, okay? 1408 01:13:46,088 --> 01:13:47,798 Nothing stopping us now. 1409 01:13:48,257 --> 01:13:49,675 What the fuck? 1410 01:13:51,761 --> 01:13:53,387 Hand me the phone. 1411 01:13:53,554 --> 01:13:55,973 Uh, Brad, can you hold on for a sec? 1412 01:13:56,307 --> 01:13:58,309 All right, let's not do anything rash. 1413 01:13:58,684 --> 01:14:01,187 - I'm David, what's your name? - Pablo Chacon. 1414 01:14:01,353 --> 01:14:03,481 Shut the fuck up. Stop, stop. 1415 01:14:03,647 --> 01:14:06,358 - Hola, Brad. - Pablo! 1416 01:14:06,525 --> 01:14:08,027 [SPEAKS IN SPANISH] 1417 01:14:08,486 --> 01:14:11,030 You send this amateur fuck-up to steal from me? 1418 01:14:11,197 --> 01:14:13,908 Listen, I don't know what David told you... Hello? 1419 01:14:14,992 --> 01:14:17,661 I would have loved to say good-bye to him. 1420 01:14:24,877 --> 01:14:25,920 Pablo Chacon. 1421 01:14:26,754 --> 01:14:29,799 Turns out there's a real Pablo Chacon and we stole from him. 1422 01:14:29,965 --> 01:14:33,803 So this is probably gonna end well, I would imagine. 1423 01:14:35,805 --> 01:14:38,015 I'll be right back. 1424 01:14:38,516 --> 01:14:39,558 No rush. 1425 01:14:41,268 --> 01:14:44,480 I thought you said we were picking up drugs for Pablo Chacon. 1426 01:14:44,647 --> 01:14:47,274 I thought we were. Brad told me he was Pablo Chacon. 1427 01:14:47,441 --> 01:14:49,693 ROSE: Why do you trust that guy? DAVID: I don't, okay? 1428 01:14:49,860 --> 01:14:52,154 Can you guys stop bickering for five seconds? 1429 01:14:52,321 --> 01:14:54,490 Okay, how did he even find us? 1430 01:14:54,657 --> 01:14:56,116 - We don't know. - I don't know. 1431 01:14:56,283 --> 01:14:57,576 PABLO: With this. 1432 01:14:59,620 --> 01:15:02,540 Cool, is that a transmitter? That's like a... 1433 01:15:02,748 --> 01:15:04,959 You put that in the RV, huh? In one of the bags? 1434 01:15:05,125 --> 01:15:09,338 - How could you not think of that? - Because I don't know what I'm doing! 1435 01:15:09,505 --> 01:15:11,799 - Have you not figured that out? - Silence! 1436 01:15:15,052 --> 01:15:16,595 You all die now. 1437 01:15:16,762 --> 01:15:19,098 But together as a family, with honor. 1438 01:15:19,807 --> 01:15:24,186 But we're not even a real family, okay? I don't even know these people. 1439 01:15:24,353 --> 01:15:25,604 [SPEAKS IN SPANISH] 1440 01:15:25,771 --> 01:15:29,011 She's right. That's absolutely right. No, no. We're not related at all, any of us. 1441 01:15:29,149 --> 01:15:30,526 No. We're just friends. 1442 01:15:30,693 --> 01:15:32,570 - No, we're not... - We are not friends! 1443 01:15:32,736 --> 01:15:35,155 Look, I'm just a small-time fucking drug dealer. 1444 01:15:35,322 --> 01:15:36,699 I sell dime bags, all right? 1445 01:15:36,866 --> 01:15:40,494 My daughter here is just a homeless gutter punk, all right? 1446 01:15:40,661 --> 01:15:44,874 And my son is just a fucking dork that lives in my building. We don't look alike! 1447 01:15:45,040 --> 01:15:47,710 ROSE: Not related. - A virgin, okay? And my "wife"? 1448 01:15:48,168 --> 01:15:49,962 I mean, she's just a cheap stripper. 1449 01:15:50,129 --> 01:15:52,089 Hey, thanks, David. Nice. 1450 01:15:52,256 --> 01:15:54,800 DAVID: We will not do anything if... - Wait, wait. Heh. 1451 01:15:54,967 --> 01:15:57,845 In the Capri pants and the sensible footwear, a stripper? 1452 01:15:59,096 --> 01:16:00,180 Yes. 1453 01:16:01,223 --> 01:16:02,349 That's right, I am... 1454 01:16:03,309 --> 01:16:04,894 Mr. Chacon. 1455 01:16:05,728 --> 01:16:07,938 Just give me one chance... 1456 01:16:08,105 --> 01:16:13,193 to prove to you that I'm worth way more alive than I am dead. 1457 01:16:15,988 --> 01:16:18,198 [AEROSMITH'S "SWEET EMOTION" PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS] 1458 01:16:20,701 --> 01:16:25,289 Sweet 1459 01:16:25,456 --> 01:16:30,169 Emotion 1460 01:16:30,336 --> 01:16:33,130 Talk about things And nobody cares 1461 01:16:35,633 --> 01:16:38,010 Wearing hot things That nobody wears 1462 01:16:45,225 --> 01:16:48,312 Some sweat hog knew She's a real good liar 1463 01:16:49,897 --> 01:16:53,067 'Cause the backstage boogie Set your pants on fire 1464 01:16:57,821 --> 01:17:01,742 Sweet 1465 01:17:01,909 --> 01:17:06,497 Emotion 1466 01:17:06,664 --> 01:17:11,418 Sweet 1467 01:17:11,585 --> 01:17:15,339 Emotion 1468 01:17:16,423 --> 01:17:19,385 You stand in the front Just a shakin' your ass 1469 01:17:21,387 --> 01:17:24,598 I'll take you backstage You'll be drinking my glass 1470 01:17:26,225 --> 01:17:29,353 I'm talkin' about something You can sure understand 1471 01:17:43,909 --> 01:17:46,078 Have some respect, it's your mother. 1472 01:18:17,735 --> 01:18:19,194 [PABLO SCREAMS] 1473 01:18:19,361 --> 01:18:20,779 DAVID: Get in the RV! Go, go, go! 1474 01:18:21,739 --> 01:18:23,615 [GRUNTS] 1475 01:18:28,454 --> 01:18:29,496 Why are we fighting? 1476 01:18:34,585 --> 01:18:36,253 - Do you know how to drive this? - No. 1477 01:18:37,296 --> 01:18:38,505 No weapons. Here we go. 1478 01:18:38,714 --> 01:18:40,883 CASEY: Hurry! KENNY: I don't know how it works. 1479 01:18:41,091 --> 01:18:43,302 [BOTH YELL THEN ONE-EYE GRUNTS] 1480 01:18:43,510 --> 01:18:44,845 CASEY: Fuck! 1481 01:18:49,558 --> 01:18:52,269 - What just happened? - I knocked him out. Let's go. 1482 01:18:52,478 --> 01:18:53,645 - You did not. - Yes, I did. 1483 01:18:57,733 --> 01:18:59,234 Come on, Rose, come on. Come on! 1484 01:19:02,738 --> 01:19:03,989 - Look out! - Oh, no, please. 1485 01:19:10,454 --> 01:19:12,456 Kenny! Kenny, give me the wheel! 1486 01:19:12,664 --> 01:19:14,041 No, do not pull over! 1487 01:19:15,334 --> 01:19:18,045 Go this way! No, no, no. Don't get on the freeway. 1488 01:19:18,253 --> 01:19:20,672 - Kenny, just let me in. KENNY: I can't. I'll stop. 1489 01:19:20,881 --> 01:19:22,341 DAVID: Don't stop! You can't stop. 1490 01:19:22,549 --> 01:19:23,842 Goddamn it, will you let go? 1491 01:19:24,051 --> 01:19:25,969 No, no, no, no! You're gonna get us killed! 1492 01:19:26,178 --> 01:19:27,221 [HORN HONKING] 1493 01:19:27,429 --> 01:19:29,848 [ALL SHOUTING] 1494 01:19:30,057 --> 01:19:32,684 DAVID: All right, just get out of the way. KENNY: I can't. 1495 01:19:33,811 --> 01:19:36,396 [ALL SCREAMING] 1496 01:19:44,780 --> 01:19:45,823 Is everybody okay? 1497 01:19:46,031 --> 01:19:47,825 - Are you okay? - I'm fine. What...? 1498 01:19:48,033 --> 01:19:49,076 ROSE: Fuck. 1499 01:19:51,495 --> 01:19:54,373 Fuck! 1500 01:19:54,873 --> 01:19:56,166 Ow! Shit! Fuck, fucking... 1501 01:19:56,333 --> 01:19:58,460 Ow, ow! Ow, ow, ow! 1502 01:19:58,627 --> 01:20:01,421 - Oh, my God. Fucking shit! Fuck! DAVID: What the hell is he doing? 1503 01:20:01,588 --> 01:20:03,715 Fuck a donkey! It hurts so much. 1504 01:20:03,882 --> 01:20:06,218 Settle down, man. What the hell's going on? 1505 01:20:06,385 --> 01:20:08,303 Oh, my God! I'm gonna die. 1506 01:20:08,470 --> 01:20:10,472 Kenny, listen to me. Calm down, all right? 1507 01:20:10,639 --> 01:20:12,474 Not gonna die. Tell us what's going on. 1508 01:20:12,641 --> 01:20:15,185 - Tell us what happened. - Fucking spider bit me, David! 1509 01:20:15,352 --> 01:20:17,938 - What? Where did it happen? - Bit me on my balls. 1510 01:20:18,438 --> 01:20:21,900 On my fucking balls. On my balls, on my fucking balls! 1511 01:20:22,067 --> 01:20:23,986 Oh, God. Let me see. Kenny, let me see it. 1512 01:20:24,153 --> 01:20:26,738 No. No fucking way. You're not seeing it. 1513 01:20:26,905 --> 01:20:30,659 Come on. I can't help you unless you show me. Sweetie, just show it to me. 1514 01:20:30,826 --> 01:20:33,120 Kenny, will you just man up and drop your pants? 1515 01:20:33,287 --> 01:20:34,955 We've all seen a dick. 1516 01:20:40,127 --> 01:20:41,545 DAVID: All right, let's see it. 1517 01:20:42,588 --> 01:20:43,797 [ROSE GASPS] 1518 01:20:43,964 --> 01:20:46,466 What? What is it? What does it look like? 1519 01:20:46,633 --> 01:20:48,468 - I can't look. - Um... 1520 01:20:48,635 --> 01:20:51,555 - ls it bad? - Hey, listen to me. It's not that bad. 1521 01:20:51,722 --> 01:20:53,891 - Dude, it's really bad. - No, it isn't. 1522 01:20:54,057 --> 01:20:56,643 - Have you seen what that... Look. - I'm not gonna look. 1523 01:20:56,810 --> 01:20:59,980 - You're going to a hospital. - What? No. No fucking way. 1524 01:21:00,147 --> 01:21:01,315 How bad is it? 1525 01:21:01,690 --> 01:21:04,526 You're okay. Rub some dirt on it. Let's get back in the RV. 1526 01:21:04,693 --> 01:21:07,321 No. You're going to see a doctor. 1527 01:21:07,487 --> 01:21:09,615 No fucking way. No, absolutely not, Rose. 1528 01:21:09,781 --> 01:21:12,367 He's not going to a hospital. We don't have time. 1529 01:21:12,534 --> 01:21:14,703 Trust me. Kenny is fine. 1530 01:21:14,870 --> 01:21:17,414 I can't feel my bingo. 1531 01:21:19,625 --> 01:21:22,461 - Goddamn it, Kenny. - Yeah. Totally fine. 1532 01:21:22,628 --> 01:21:25,672 - Go grab him. Grab him! - If he's dead, we're leaving him. 1533 01:21:32,554 --> 01:21:36,475 Yeah, this is David Mille... David Clark, calling for Mr. Gurdlinger again. 1534 01:21:37,517 --> 01:21:39,186 Yes, I'll hold. 1535 01:21:39,561 --> 01:21:42,397 Who's my big black and white baby? Yeah. 1536 01:21:43,190 --> 01:21:45,150 You are. Yes, you are. 1537 01:21:45,317 --> 01:21:46,735 [BABBLING] 1538 01:21:48,320 --> 01:21:49,529 [CELL PHONE BUZZES] 1539 01:21:49,696 --> 01:21:51,490 - Yellow-ski. - Oh, hello, Brad. 1540 01:21:51,657 --> 01:21:54,451 Where the fuck have you been? I left you five messages, man! 1541 01:21:54,618 --> 01:21:58,497 David! You're alive! Cool. How'd that happen? 1542 01:21:58,664 --> 01:22:00,457 Ask the real Pablo Chacon. 1543 01:22:00,624 --> 01:22:02,000 I'm not gonna make excuses. 1544 01:22:02,459 --> 01:22:03,919 It was kind of a dick move. 1545 01:22:04,628 --> 01:22:06,672 - "A dick move"? A dick move! - Little bit. 1546 01:22:07,089 --> 01:22:08,548 Little bit of a dick move. 1547 01:22:08,715 --> 01:22:11,426 Well, tell you what. I'm not driving another fucking mile. 1548 01:22:11,593 --> 01:22:15,764 All right? I want god-damn hazard pay from your ass. Otherwise, I'll turn around... 1549 01:22:15,931 --> 01:22:19,893 and give this smidge of pot back to Chacon, along with your fucking address. 1550 01:22:20,060 --> 01:22:21,103 Do you understand me? 1551 01:22:21,270 --> 01:22:23,522 Sounds like you're threatening to double-cross me. 1552 01:22:23,689 --> 01:22:25,482 Fucking right I am. 1553 01:22:25,649 --> 01:22:27,609 And I'm kind of turned on right now. 1554 01:22:28,360 --> 01:22:30,946 You make a good case for hazard pay. How much you want? 1555 01:22:31,113 --> 01:22:33,907 How much? Oh, I don't know, half a million dollars. 1556 01:22:34,074 --> 01:22:35,367 - How about that? - Done. 1557 01:22:36,576 --> 01:22:38,245 Fucking right, it's done. Good. 1558 01:22:38,412 --> 01:22:41,331 But I need it here by tonight or the deal is off. 1559 01:22:42,040 --> 01:22:43,583 No problem. That's fine with me. 1560 01:22:43,750 --> 01:22:45,460 Where the hell are you, anyway? 1561 01:22:45,627 --> 01:22:50,716 We're at the Corrales Regional Medical Center in Buttfuck, New Mexico. 1562 01:22:50,882 --> 01:22:52,259 - Why? - Why? Why? 1563 01:22:52,426 --> 01:22:56,013 Because this god-damn Kenny kid got his fucking nuts bit by a giant spider. 1564 01:22:56,179 --> 01:22:59,391 That is amazing. Will you let me know if he develops super powers? 1565 01:23:00,017 --> 01:23:02,060 Listen, man, giddy up, okay? Tick-took. 1566 01:23:02,602 --> 01:23:04,938 Tick-took. Okay. 1567 01:23:05,147 --> 01:23:06,315 [PHONE BEEPS] 1568 01:23:06,481 --> 01:23:07,858 [LINE RINGING] 1569 01:23:08,567 --> 01:23:10,944 Hola, Pablo. Es Brad. 1570 01:23:11,111 --> 01:23:14,031 Okay. Here me out. I wanna ask you something. 1571 01:23:21,079 --> 01:23:22,831 Scottie? The doctor will see you now. 1572 01:23:26,668 --> 01:23:28,378 SCOTTIE: Text me, girl. I gotta bounce. 1573 01:23:29,004 --> 01:23:30,213 Know what I'm saying? 1574 01:23:32,507 --> 01:23:36,011 Oh, God. Really? That guy? 1575 01:23:36,803 --> 01:23:39,348 - What? He's hot. - Okay. 1576 01:23:40,015 --> 01:23:41,183 "I gotta bounce." 1577 01:23:42,476 --> 01:23:44,311 - Miller family? ROSE: Yeah. 1578 01:23:44,770 --> 01:23:47,230 Hi. Hello, how are you? 1579 01:23:47,439 --> 01:23:50,108 Oh, great. What's the news, doc, huh? Can we get going? 1580 01:23:50,317 --> 01:23:52,069 - He's about to tell us. - Oh, good. 1581 01:23:52,277 --> 01:23:56,031 I'm afraid your son had a pretty severe allergic reaction to the spider's venom. 1582 01:23:56,239 --> 01:23:58,241 Ooh. Too bad. Better get him home. Where is he? 1583 01:23:58,450 --> 01:24:02,537 He's in a lot of pain right now, we won't be able to release him for a few hours yet. 1584 01:24:02,746 --> 01:24:04,581 [DAVID GROANS] 1585 01:24:04,790 --> 01:24:07,209 - Why? ROSE: David? David, David! Stop it. 1586 01:24:08,377 --> 01:24:09,669 Please. Continue. 1587 01:24:10,629 --> 01:24:12,422 Uh, he's on an IV to get some antibiotics... 1588 01:24:12,631 --> 01:24:13,673 [SNORES] 1589 01:24:13,882 --> 01:24:16,385 Who the fuck cares, man? Okay? We got shit to do. 1590 01:24:16,593 --> 01:24:19,638 Go get my son and bring him and his giant nut out here right now. 1591 01:24:19,846 --> 01:24:23,225 Stop it. Doctor, thank you. I appreciate you taking care of our son. 1592 01:24:23,433 --> 01:24:27,062 - Thank you very much. - Sure. You seem like a very caring father. 1593 01:24:28,730 --> 01:24:31,233 - What is your fucking problem? - What?! 1594 01:24:31,441 --> 01:24:33,944 Are you crazy? It's only a few hours. We'll be fine. 1595 01:24:34,152 --> 01:24:35,404 No, we're not fine. Okay? 1596 01:24:35,612 --> 01:24:38,573 We'll be dead in a few hours. You forget who's following us? 1597 01:24:38,782 --> 01:24:41,118 Look, here's what I say we do, all right? 1598 01:24:41,618 --> 01:24:44,246 We leave him here, and then we just keep going, all right? 1599 01:24:44,454 --> 01:24:47,374 So you're saying that the three of us, we just leave him here. 1600 01:24:47,582 --> 01:24:51,461 No! No, no, no. We don't leave him here. No. Absolutely not. No, we leave... 1601 01:24:51,711 --> 01:24:53,088 with him here. 1602 01:24:56,049 --> 01:24:57,092 (0K8)'- 1603 01:25:03,098 --> 01:25:05,434 You know, if we leave Kenny here, it really isn't... 1604 01:25:06,101 --> 01:25:07,144 Ah. 1605 01:25:07,352 --> 01:25:10,063 No. I don't know where I was going with that. That's stupid. 1606 01:25:10,272 --> 01:25:11,565 Seriously. 1607 01:25:11,773 --> 01:25:13,775 [BANGING ON DOOR] 1608 01:25:13,984 --> 01:25:15,360 - What's that? - I don't know. 1609 01:25:15,569 --> 01:25:18,321 CASEY: Don't answer it! It's for me! - What? 1610 01:25:19,281 --> 01:25:20,323 What's up, dawg? 1611 01:25:20,740 --> 01:25:22,325 Not much, dawg. What's up with you? 1612 01:25:22,534 --> 01:25:24,494 Here to pick up Casey, know what I'm saying? 1613 01:25:24,703 --> 01:25:27,205 I'm awake and I speak English, so, yeah, I do know. 1614 01:25:28,373 --> 01:25:31,543 - What's your name, man? - Scottie P., you know what I'm saying? Ha-ha. 1615 01:25:32,377 --> 01:25:34,129 Again, I do know what you're saying. 1616 01:25:34,337 --> 01:25:36,798 But I appreciate you continuing to check in with me. 1617 01:25:37,007 --> 01:25:39,593 - Hi! Bye. We're gonna go. - Whoa, wait! 1618 01:25:39,801 --> 01:25:42,053 - Where do you think you're going? - Out. 1619 01:25:42,679 --> 01:25:44,681 I have just made lunch. 1620 01:25:44,890 --> 01:25:47,184 - When are you coming back? - I don't know, later. 1621 01:25:47,392 --> 01:25:49,269 DAVID: No! Hey, stop! Stop, listen to me. 1622 01:25:49,478 --> 01:25:51,271 Once Kenny is ready, we're out of here. 1623 01:25:51,480 --> 01:25:54,941 We will leave with or without you. If you're not here, we're gone. Got it? 1624 01:25:55,150 --> 01:25:57,235 Okay, fine. That's totally fine. 1625 01:25:57,444 --> 01:26:00,363 Wait. Come here. I'd like to have a chat with your friend. 1626 01:26:00,572 --> 01:26:02,991 - Are you kidding me? - I am not kidding you. 1627 01:26:03,200 --> 01:26:04,618 Would you please have a seat. 1628 01:26:05,702 --> 01:26:06,995 What is going on? 1629 01:26:13,001 --> 01:26:17,214 So, Scottie P., what exactly do you do for a living? 1630 01:26:17,464 --> 01:26:20,425 - Oh, Morn! SCOTTIE: I work for A & J Amusements. 1631 01:26:20,592 --> 01:26:23,094 I'm rocking that Monkey Maze, you know what I'm saying? 1632 01:26:23,261 --> 01:26:27,557 - What the hell is the Monkey Maze? - Oh, it's like a Terrifying Deathtrap... 1633 01:26:27,724 --> 01:26:29,100 but for little kids. 1634 01:26:29,309 --> 01:26:31,561 You're working at the fair. You're a carny. 1635 01:26:31,728 --> 01:26:34,314 No, I drive a motorcycle. 1636 01:26:34,481 --> 01:26:35,857 - Mm-hm. - Mm-hm. 1637 01:26:36,024 --> 01:26:37,234 Yeah. 1638 01:26:37,400 --> 01:26:41,321 What about you guys? Where you, uh, stopping in from, you know what I'm saying? 1639 01:26:41,488 --> 01:26:43,490 - Uh, D-town. - Oh, Detroit. 1640 01:26:43,657 --> 01:26:46,076 No, no, no. The other one. 1641 01:26:46,243 --> 01:26:47,953 D-town. The other D-town. 1642 01:26:48,119 --> 01:26:50,497 - Denver...? - That's the one. There you go. 1643 01:26:50,664 --> 01:26:52,040 - Colorado. DAVID: That's the one. 1644 01:26:52,207 --> 01:26:54,417 Yeah, I love my Rockies, you know what I'm saying? 1645 01:26:54,584 --> 01:26:56,670 Oh, you like the Rockies? You're a baseball fan? 1646 01:26:57,587 --> 01:26:59,965 - Uh, no, the mountains. - Of course. 1647 01:27:01,341 --> 01:27:02,801 Hey, those are cool tats, man. 1648 01:27:02,968 --> 01:27:05,136 Oh, for real. Thank you, bro. You see the cobra? 1649 01:27:05,512 --> 01:27:07,681 - What's this? The one right there? - Oh, this? 1650 01:27:07,847 --> 01:27:09,266 DAVID: Uh-huh. 1651 01:27:09,432 --> 01:27:11,351 That's my credo. "No regrets." 1652 01:27:11,518 --> 01:27:14,396 Mm-hm. How about that. 1653 01:27:15,105 --> 01:27:17,065 - You have no regrets? - Nope. 1654 01:27:17,232 --> 01:27:20,860 - Not one? - Nope. Ha, ha. 1655 01:27:21,027 --> 01:27:23,488 I wish I did. To talk about something. 1656 01:27:23,655 --> 01:27:24,739 Not one regret, huh? 1657 01:27:24,906 --> 01:27:27,075 That's how I been living my whole life. 1658 01:27:27,242 --> 01:27:29,286 I went to a tattoo artist, I was like: 1659 01:27:29,452 --> 01:27:31,621 "This how I live. Can you put that on my body?" 1660 01:27:31,788 --> 01:27:33,331 - And he did it. - Dad. 1661 01:27:33,498 --> 01:27:36,584 - Not even a single letter? - No, I can't think of one. 1662 01:27:36,751 --> 01:27:39,587 - I love all the letters, know what I'm saying? - Yeah. 1663 01:27:39,754 --> 01:27:41,798 A lot of letters in the alphabet. How many? 1664 01:27:41,965 --> 01:27:44,926 - It's in the 20s. - It's definitely in the 20s, I agree. 1665 01:27:45,093 --> 01:27:47,554 Twenty-six, I think, if you count Y. 1666 01:27:47,721 --> 01:27:50,807 - Do you have any questions for us, Scottie P? - Dad. 1667 01:27:51,516 --> 01:27:54,436 - How did you make her so hot? - What's that? 1668 01:27:54,936 --> 01:27:57,647 - Uh, Casey. - Aw, that's very sweet of you. 1669 01:27:57,814 --> 01:28:00,150 He wants to know how we made Casey so hot. 1670 01:28:00,317 --> 01:28:03,611 - It's, uh... - You guys had to... 1671 01:28:03,778 --> 01:28:06,281 DAVID: What'd you ask us? - seminate, like, each other? 1672 01:28:06,448 --> 01:28:08,283 Uh-� Sorry? 1673 01:28:08,450 --> 01:28:11,090 - [MOUTHS] Oh, my God. - Like, is there a way to make them, like... 1674 01:28:11,161 --> 01:28:12,287 attractive? Like, kids? 1675 01:28:13,455 --> 01:28:15,582 - Doggie style. Know what I mean? SCOTTIE: Dope. 1676 01:28:15,749 --> 01:28:17,250 [LAUGHS] 1677 01:28:17,459 --> 01:28:21,254 - Dad. - Well, I love him. I think he's great. 1678 01:28:21,421 --> 01:28:24,132 A real winner. If I were you, I wouldn't use protection. 1679 01:28:24,299 --> 01:28:25,800 Scottie P., you're the man. 1680 01:28:25,967 --> 01:28:27,927 - Yo, for real. Thanks, man. - We're leaving. Bye! 1681 01:28:28,678 --> 01:28:31,038 - Nice meeting you. You do you, Scottie P. SCOTTIE: You too. 1682 01:28:33,892 --> 01:28:35,727 [ENGINE REVVING] 1683 01:28:37,604 --> 01:28:39,314 ROSE: Casey, make good choices! 1684 01:28:42,400 --> 01:28:43,985 Come on, she's gonna be fine. 1685 01:28:44,194 --> 01:28:46,863 Tattooed kid on a motorcycle, no helmet. 1686 01:28:47,614 --> 01:28:49,574 Actually, she might already be pregnant. 1687 01:28:56,331 --> 01:28:59,042 I cannot believe her. Where the hell is she? 1688 01:28:59,250 --> 01:29:02,921 Look who is concerned about someone other than themselves. 1689 01:29:03,129 --> 01:29:05,090 What? I just want to get back on the road. 1690 01:29:05,298 --> 01:29:06,633 No, I know. 1691 01:29:07,008 --> 01:29:08,760 That kid was a dickhead, huh? 1692 01:29:08,968 --> 01:29:10,261 - Right? - Know what I'm saying? 1693 01:29:10,470 --> 01:29:13,390 - Ha! Jerk. - Unbelievable. 1694 01:29:13,598 --> 01:29:15,934 Must get her shitty taste in men from her mother. 1695 01:29:19,396 --> 01:29:21,731 I'm sorry. It was a cheap shot. 1696 01:29:21,940 --> 01:29:24,359 Cheap shot, okay? I'm taking it back. 1697 01:29:25,318 --> 01:29:28,822 I'm sure your boyfriend Jimmy is very nice. 1698 01:29:29,030 --> 01:29:31,866 He seems like a very good guy. 1699 01:29:32,534 --> 01:29:34,828 Well, he's not. He left. 1700 01:29:35,328 --> 01:29:38,623 Maxed out all my credit cards, cleaned out my bank account... 1701 01:29:38,832 --> 01:29:40,250 jetted out of town. 1702 01:29:40,458 --> 01:29:45,004 He stole my favorite mug. Which was a pretty shitty thing to do. Even for him. 1703 01:29:45,213 --> 01:29:47,632 - I'm really sorry about that. That sucks. - Whatever. 1704 01:29:47,882 --> 01:29:50,802 That's what you get for dating a guy who dates strippers. 1705 01:29:51,344 --> 01:29:52,387 Ah, come on. 1706 01:29:52,595 --> 01:29:54,764 You're a lot more than that, Rose, and you know it. 1707 01:29:55,974 --> 01:29:57,976 [CHUCKLES] 1708 01:29:58,184 --> 01:30:01,020 - What? - Rose is not even my real name. 1709 01:30:02,981 --> 01:30:04,315 What's your real name? 1710 01:30:05,733 --> 01:30:06,901 Sarah. 1711 01:30:07,694 --> 01:30:08,820 With an "h"? 1712 01:30:09,154 --> 01:30:11,489 Yep. Right there at the end. 1713 01:30:11,698 --> 01:30:13,241 It's the best way to spell it. 1714 01:30:13,450 --> 01:30:16,327 - That's what my mother thought. Heh. - Heh. 1715 01:30:18,413 --> 01:30:20,206 Well, David's not my real name either. 1716 01:30:20,623 --> 01:30:23,376 - Really? - I'm being serious. 1717 01:30:24,669 --> 01:30:27,338 Wow. So you're being ser... 1718 01:30:27,547 --> 01:30:30,550 Well, so then, what's your real name? 1719 01:30:30,925 --> 01:30:32,051 Barbara. 1720 01:30:32,260 --> 01:30:34,471 - Barbara? - Yeah, named after my morn. 1721 01:30:34,679 --> 01:30:36,973 Oh, so, what are you, like, a Barbara Jr.? 1722 01:30:38,308 --> 01:30:40,310 - You're Barbara Jr. - You got it. Yeah, yeah. 1723 01:30:40,518 --> 01:30:43,146 My friends in high school and grade school called me Babs. 1724 01:30:43,354 --> 01:30:44,898 Oh, scarred childhood. 1725 01:30:45,106 --> 01:30:49,027 Not really, not at all. I mean, I was in musical theater, so I was actually revered. 1726 01:30:50,403 --> 01:30:51,446 Very funny. 1727 01:30:53,364 --> 01:30:54,824 You have a hair... 1728 01:30:56,910 --> 01:30:58,369 Yank, or put behind the ear? 1729 01:30:58,578 --> 01:30:59,787 Guess we could... 1730 01:31:00,622 --> 01:31:01,748 tuck it back there. 1731 01:31:03,458 --> 01:31:04,667 [DOOR OPENS] 1732 01:31:04,876 --> 01:31:06,961 Whoa. What's going on in here? 1733 01:31:07,545 --> 01:31:10,298 We should ask you the same thing, young lady! Huh? 1734 01:31:10,507 --> 01:31:12,509 - We've been worried sick. - That's right. 1735 01:31:12,717 --> 01:31:14,886 Why are you guys talking like that? 1736 01:31:15,220 --> 01:31:16,262 Shit, is someone here? 1737 01:31:16,471 --> 01:31:19,432 Yeah! Yeah, us. We're here. That's who's here. 1738 01:31:19,766 --> 01:31:22,185 We didn't know if you were dead in a ditch! Huh? 1739 01:31:22,393 --> 01:31:24,033 ROSE: You couldn't have called? Something? 1740 01:31:24,187 --> 01:31:27,106 Or send one of those text messages you're always sending out? 1741 01:31:27,315 --> 01:31:31,444 ? "Hey, it's me, Casey, I'm not dead in a ? ? ditch." LOL, picture of a whale, YOLO. ? 1742 01:31:31,778 --> 01:31:33,238 - Anything! - Okay. 1743 01:31:33,780 --> 01:31:35,198 Fine! Whatever! 1744 01:31:35,406 --> 01:31:37,033 Sorry. 1745 01:31:37,242 --> 01:31:38,493 - Whoa! - Thank you! 1746 01:31:38,701 --> 01:31:40,541 ROSE: Was that so hard? DAVID: Appreciate that. 1747 01:31:40,703 --> 01:31:43,873 - She learned a new word, Rose. ROSE: Thank God. "I'm sorry." 1748 01:31:44,374 --> 01:31:46,209 Un-fucking-believable. 1749 01:31:46,626 --> 01:31:48,002 It's gonna be great. 1750 01:31:48,920 --> 01:31:51,047 Oh! There he is. Kenny! 1751 01:31:51,256 --> 01:31:53,716 - Okay, let's go. - Oh, my God, you look so much better. 1752 01:31:53,925 --> 01:31:56,177 - Doesn't he? - Like a thousand bucks. Let's go. 1753 01:31:59,013 --> 01:32:01,224 - Come on, we gotta hurry. Come on! - Take it easy! 1754 01:32:01,432 --> 01:32:03,268 - Will you just relax?! - Look, I can't... 1755 01:32:04,102 --> 01:32:05,144 ROSE: Oh, great. - Aah! 1756 01:32:05,353 --> 01:32:07,814 ROSE: Kenny. KENNY: That's my elbow. Oh... 1757 01:32:08,022 --> 01:32:10,233 ROSE: Are you okay? - I think so. 1758 01:32:10,441 --> 01:32:13,069 Look what happens when you run around like a crazy person. 1759 01:32:13,278 --> 01:32:16,281 What do mean? He's fine. Come on, Ken-doll, hop up. Here we go. 1760 01:32:16,489 --> 01:32:18,575 - What's wrong with you? - What's wrong with me? 1761 01:32:18,783 --> 01:32:21,411 - David! - Look, this job has a deadline... 1762 01:32:21,619 --> 01:32:23,496 and it's in four fucking hours. 1763 01:32:23,705 --> 01:32:27,458 If you think I'm gonna lose half a million dollars because of Kenny's boo-boos... 1764 01:32:27,667 --> 01:32:29,961 - then you're out of your mind. - Whoa. Wait a second. 1765 01:32:30,670 --> 01:32:33,923 You're making half a million dollars on this deal? 1766 01:32:36,259 --> 01:32:40,221 - Uh, roughly. - I cannot believe you. 1767 01:32:40,430 --> 01:32:41,889 Listen to me. I can explain. 1768 01:32:42,098 --> 01:32:47,270 You are making $500,000 and you were only gonna pay me 30? 1769 01:32:47,478 --> 01:32:51,024 You're getting 30 grand? I'm getting a thousand! 1770 01:32:51,566 --> 01:32:53,067 Wait, you guys are getting paid? 1771 01:32:53,276 --> 01:32:54,736 ROSE: You're a liar. - No, no, no. 1772 01:32:54,944 --> 01:32:57,030 - We want to renegotiate. - No. No way. 1773 01:32:57,238 --> 01:32:58,573 - What? David. DAVID: No. No way. 1774 01:32:58,781 --> 01:33:02,910 You made your deal with me, I made my deal with Brad. We're getting outta here. 1775 01:33:03,870 --> 01:33:07,248 See? Good. Casey gets it. We're not renegotiating now. Let's go. 1776 01:33:07,457 --> 01:33:11,252 I believe we are, right now, because you wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for us. 1777 01:33:11,461 --> 01:33:12,629 You're right about that. 1778 01:33:12,837 --> 01:33:15,548 I'd be in Denver now if it wasn't for you slowing me down. 1779 01:33:15,757 --> 01:33:19,177 Are you shitting...? Slowing you down? What the hell are you talking...? 1780 01:33:19,802 --> 01:33:22,013 Whoa, where the hell are you going? Hey, hey! 1781 01:33:22,221 --> 01:33:24,057 Hey, I said where are you going? 1782 01:33:24,265 --> 01:33:26,309 You know what? You leave, you get nothing. 1783 01:33:26,517 --> 01:33:27,977 I don't want your money, okay? 1784 01:33:28,186 --> 01:33:31,022 Casey, come back. We have to stay together. 1785 01:33:31,230 --> 01:33:32,774 - Come on! - Why? 1786 01:33:33,524 --> 01:33:34,942 Because we're a family? Huh? 1787 01:33:35,401 --> 01:33:38,404 You want to spend Christmas together? Help me with my homework? 1788 01:33:38,738 --> 01:33:41,699 Please. This whole thing has been a total joke. 1789 01:33:42,700 --> 01:33:45,870 Oh, no, I'll tell you what the joke is! You want to know what the...? 1790 01:33:46,871 --> 01:33:47,997 "The I" 1791 01:33:48,456 --> 01:33:50,083 I'm not gonna tell you the joke! 1792 01:33:50,291 --> 01:33:53,461 You don't deserve to hear the joke! Let's go. 1793 01:33:53,670 --> 01:33:56,089 - I don't think you knew the joke. - I knew a joke. 1794 01:33:56,297 --> 01:33:57,965 We have to go back and get her. 1795 01:33:58,174 --> 01:34:00,677 What? Are you kidding me? She left! Screw her, okay? 1796 01:34:00,885 --> 01:34:02,553 Are you coming with me or not, Rose? 1797 01:34:04,055 --> 01:34:07,433 Fine. I'll slide your check under your door. Kenny, let's go. 1798 01:34:09,185 --> 01:34:10,728 Kenny, come on! Let's go, man. 1799 01:34:10,937 --> 01:34:13,523 We can't leave her, David. It's not right. 1800 01:34:16,234 --> 01:34:17,610 - You know what? - What? 1801 01:34:17,985 --> 01:34:19,779 You all deserve each other. 1802 01:34:22,699 --> 01:34:23,991 Da... Wha...? 1803 01:34:35,002 --> 01:34:36,337 He'll come back. 1804 01:34:37,046 --> 01:34:38,089 Right? 1805 01:34:59,318 --> 01:35:00,361 SCOTTIE: Yo, girl! 1806 01:35:02,196 --> 01:35:04,574 - I got your text. What's up? - Hey. 1807 01:35:04,741 --> 01:35:05,992 Are you alone? 1808 01:35:06,534 --> 01:35:10,413 Yeah. You think we can go someplace private and talk? 1809 01:35:11,289 --> 01:35:14,709 I know just the spot, you know what I'm saying? Heh-heh. 1810 01:35:15,376 --> 01:35:18,045 [BRAD SINGING SCALES] 1811 01:35:20,339 --> 01:35:23,176 - A little better. - See, you're not in synch with what I'm doing. 1812 01:35:23,342 --> 01:35:26,262 I'm just playing a major scale, but, um, we can move it down. 1813 01:35:26,429 --> 01:35:27,722 - Let's move it. - Shitty scale. 1814 01:35:27,889 --> 01:35:29,348 Stop talking. Just shut the fuck up. 1815 01:35:29,515 --> 01:35:30,933 [PHONE BUZZING] 1816 01:35:31,476 --> 01:35:33,019 - Hey, what's up? - Hey, Brad. 1817 01:35:33,186 --> 01:35:36,230 I'm just getting some singing lessons from my main man Ben Folds Five. 1818 01:35:36,397 --> 01:35:39,817 - Ain't that right, Ben Folds Five? - My name is Ben Folds. 1819 01:35:39,984 --> 01:35:41,736 "Five" is the name of the band. 1820 01:35:41,903 --> 01:35:43,654 You're fucking with me. I love it. 1821 01:35:43,821 --> 01:35:47,116 You gotta meet this guy. Benji Five is a laugh riot. 1822 01:35:47,283 --> 01:35:49,163 Remember that song "Brick" we used to listen to? 1823 01:35:49,285 --> 01:35:53,456 [SINGING] She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly 1824 01:35:53,623 --> 01:35:56,417 It's... I've got... It's that guy. I fucking got that guy. 1825 01:35:56,584 --> 01:35:58,169 He's like my personal bitch. 1826 01:35:58,336 --> 01:36:00,588 - Listen, is everything okay? - Yeah. 1827 01:36:00,755 --> 01:36:02,757 Yeah, yeah. Uh, things are fine. 1828 01:36:02,924 --> 01:36:05,885 I'm about 200 miles away. I'll be there in three hours, all right? 1829 01:36:06,052 --> 01:36:09,555 - All right. Peace. - Agh, fucking asshole. 1830 01:36:09,722 --> 01:36:11,057 Scales. Let's do this. 1831 01:36:11,224 --> 01:36:12,600 This gig sucks. 1832 01:36:12,767 --> 01:36:14,811 Don't talk to me like that. I will have you killed. 1833 01:36:14,977 --> 01:36:16,813 And no one will miss your fucking nerd music. 1834 01:36:21,651 --> 01:36:23,820 [ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO] 1835 01:36:26,405 --> 01:36:28,157 MAN [ON RADIO]: Sunday, Sunday, Sunday! 1836 01:36:28,366 --> 01:36:29,992 Great. That's loud. 1837 01:36:31,202 --> 01:36:33,996 [TLC'S "WATERFALLS" PLAYING ON RADIO] 1838 01:36:34,205 --> 01:36:36,499 [CHUCKLES] 1839 01:36:36,707 --> 01:36:37,917 [MUSIC STOPS] 1840 01:36:38,125 --> 01:36:41,337 Yeah, nice try, radio. Nice try. Heh. 1841 01:36:42,004 --> 01:36:43,756 Okay. Ahem. 1842 01:36:43,965 --> 01:36:45,174 Let's get there. 1843 01:36:47,760 --> 01:36:49,554 H00. 1844 01:36:51,013 --> 01:36:52,223 Quiet. 1845 01:36:59,105 --> 01:37:00,773 And I knew better too. 1846 01:37:00,982 --> 01:37:03,317 But we were all on the road together... 1847 01:37:03,526 --> 01:37:06,320 and it got kind of fun, you know? 1848 01:37:07,154 --> 01:37:08,197 Yeah. Uh-huh. 1849 01:37:08,781 --> 01:37:11,659 And I started thinking of us as kind of like this... 1850 01:37:13,119 --> 01:37:14,704 Whatever, it's stupid. 1851 01:37:15,746 --> 01:37:18,040 - Fuck them. - Yeah, fuck them. 1852 01:37:18,249 --> 01:37:22,461 Yo, right now, girl, Scottie P. Is gonna make you feel real good, know what I'm saying? 1853 01:37:22,670 --> 01:37:25,047 - Ha-ha. - Uh, heh. 1854 01:37:25,256 --> 01:37:28,342 I'm sorry, I'm just feeling kind of cry-ey and that... 1855 01:37:29,510 --> 01:37:31,345 - I'm just gonna go, okay? - Come on, girl. 1856 01:37:31,554 --> 01:37:33,890 - You texted me. You know what's up. - Scottie. 1857 01:37:34,098 --> 01:37:35,308 ROSE: Hey! 1858 01:37:35,516 --> 01:37:36,642 Get your hands off of her! 1859 01:37:36,851 --> 01:37:38,144 Come here, Casey. 1860 01:37:38,603 --> 01:37:40,187 You put your hands on her again... 1861 01:37:40,396 --> 01:37:43,065 I will rip that fucking tattoo right off of your chest. 1862 01:37:43,274 --> 01:37:44,358 You know what I'm saying? 1863 01:37:44,567 --> 01:37:46,611 - Oh, really, bitch? - Yeah, bitch. 1864 01:37:46,819 --> 01:37:49,864 You know what? Why don't you leave the girls alone, man. 1865 01:37:50,072 --> 01:37:51,699 What are you gonna do, eyebrows? 1866 01:37:53,242 --> 01:37:54,660 One... 1867 01:37:55,411 --> 01:37:56,621 two... 1868 01:37:56,829 --> 01:37:58,080 [SCOTTIE GROANS] 1869 01:37:58,289 --> 01:38:00,416 SCOTTIE: Ow! Broke my nose! 1870 01:38:01,918 --> 01:38:04,754 You're an aggressive woman. Know what I'm saying? 1871 01:38:07,256 --> 01:38:08,299 Are you okay? 1872 01:38:08,507 --> 01:38:11,010 I'm fine. That was awesome. You fucking decked him! 1873 01:38:11,218 --> 01:38:13,512 I've dealt with handsy assholes like him at work. 1874 01:38:13,763 --> 01:38:15,014 Let's just get out of here. 1875 01:38:15,222 --> 01:38:17,016 Thanks for the backup. Why the counting? 1876 01:38:17,224 --> 01:38:19,435 If you're gonna punch someone, punch them on one. 1877 01:38:19,644 --> 01:38:21,020 Well, David told me to count. 1878 01:38:21,228 --> 01:38:23,481 David? David hasn't punched anybody ever. 1879 01:38:28,319 --> 01:38:30,237 I think this Way. Exit. 1880 01:38:31,030 --> 01:38:33,949 [HUMS FANFARE] 1881 01:38:34,116 --> 01:38:36,661 I have returned. 1882 01:38:36,827 --> 01:38:38,371 [CONTINUES FANFARE] 1883 01:38:38,537 --> 01:38:40,790 Ha-ha-ha. So here's what happened, okay? 1884 01:38:40,956 --> 01:38:46,128 I'm out on the open road, just by myself, right? And I'm just beelining it to a huge payday. 1885 01:38:46,295 --> 01:38:48,673 And I start to realize something: it's boring in here. 1886 01:38:48,839 --> 01:38:50,759 So I thought, "You know what you gotta do, dummy? 1887 01:38:50,925 --> 01:38:54,512 You gotta turn this RV around and go back and get those dip sticks." 1888 01:38:54,679 --> 01:38:57,932 Heh. I'm just kidding, you're not dip sticks. 1889 01:38:58,099 --> 01:38:59,899 What do you say we go home? Come on, let's go. 1890 01:39:00,059 --> 01:39:01,852 Hey, David? Go fuck yourself. 1891 01:39:02,478 --> 01:39:04,271 Uh...? Ha! 1892 01:39:04,897 --> 01:39:07,358 "Go fuck yourself." "You go fuck yourself." 1893 01:39:07,525 --> 01:39:12,029 Rose, you say, "Go fuck yourself." Then Kenny's like, "I don't want to fuck anybody." 1894 01:39:12,196 --> 01:39:15,282 This is what I miss, right? The Ping-Pong action, the repartee. 1895 01:39:15,449 --> 01:39:19,704 Come on, guys. Let's get out of here, go home. Get in the RV, go home, get out of here. 1896 01:39:19,870 --> 01:39:22,206 Come on, let's go! 1897 01:39:22,373 --> 01:39:25,126 - Whoa, hey, hold on. Where you going? - Are you serious? 1898 01:39:25,292 --> 01:39:27,211 Look, look, look. Okay. 1899 01:39:27,378 --> 01:39:29,797 I know what this is about, and I get it. 1900 01:39:29,964 --> 01:39:33,008 All right? We're gonna split the $500,000. 1901 01:39:33,175 --> 01:39:37,054 Evenly. Betwixt the four of us. 1902 01:39:37,430 --> 01:39:40,474 You guys get what I'm saying here? Kenny, you wanna be like this: "Pfft!" 1903 01:39:40,641 --> 01:39:44,061 Like you're from... Right? That's a lot of video games, kiddo. 1904 01:39:44,228 --> 01:39:47,648 All right, Casey, you can buy a house, and run away from it. 1905 01:39:48,023 --> 01:39:50,526 You know what I mean? Like, whatever. You get $125,000. 1906 01:39:50,693 --> 01:39:51,819 You get $125,000. 1907 01:39:51,986 --> 01:39:54,697 You get a... I mean, I'm like fucking Oprah here. You know? 1908 01:39:54,864 --> 01:39:57,491 If she was a white dude at a carnival. Heh. 1909 01:39:57,658 --> 01:40:00,202 Come on, guys. Let's get in the RV... 1910 01:40:00,369 --> 01:40:03,998 and take our butts back to Denver where we're gonna be rich and we're gonna get paid. 1911 01:40:04,165 --> 01:40:05,166 [HUMMING] 1912 01:40:05,332 --> 01:40:07,752 - Come on, come on. - Uh, David, listen. 1913 01:40:07,960 --> 01:40:10,963 You misled us. You left us. 1914 01:40:11,130 --> 01:40:15,050 And then you come Waltzing back in here all... I don't know what the hell that was... 1915 01:40:15,217 --> 01:40:17,678 and you just expect that we all just forget about it. 1916 01:40:17,845 --> 01:40:20,556 What's wrong with you? 1917 01:40:21,390 --> 01:40:22,433 How do we trust you? 1918 01:40:24,477 --> 01:40:26,312 [GROANS] 1919 01:40:26,479 --> 01:40:29,398 Okay, look, what do you want? Do you want me to beg? 1920 01:40:29,607 --> 01:40:31,150 Kids? What do you think? 1921 01:40:31,317 --> 01:40:34,028 - That would make me feel a lot better. - Works for me. Sure. 1922 01:40:36,530 --> 01:40:38,115 You're joking. 1923 01:40:39,909 --> 01:40:41,035 Wha...? 1924 01:40:41,452 --> 01:40:44,580 You really want me to get on my knees? And beg you? 1925 01:40:45,372 --> 01:40:47,212 It's a good thing I'm wearing my begging pants. 1926 01:40:47,374 --> 01:40:49,543 I usually only do this before sex. 1927 01:40:51,086 --> 01:40:53,839 Okay, okay, I'm going, I'm going. Please, please. 1928 01:40:54,006 --> 01:40:56,967 Ahem. Let's do it. Here we go. 1929 01:40:57,134 --> 01:40:58,177 Okay! To the RV, let's go. 1930 01:40:58,552 --> 01:40:59,595 Come on, Babs. 1931 01:40:59,804 --> 01:41:01,388 [LAUGHS] 1932 01:41:02,973 --> 01:41:05,434 DAVID: Whoa, whoa. Slow down. There's clowns everywhere. 1933 01:41:05,643 --> 01:41:06,811 Here, let Pops get in here. 1934 01:41:07,019 --> 01:41:09,271 We're right down here. I parked it next to an RV. 1935 01:41:09,480 --> 01:41:12,024 [EDIE & MELISSA SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY] 1936 01:41:12,233 --> 01:41:13,984 [EDIE GASPS] 1937 01:41:14,193 --> 01:41:15,486 - Melissa. - Kenny. 1938 01:41:15,694 --> 01:41:17,238 - Rose! - Edie. 1939 01:41:17,446 --> 01:41:18,656 - Shit. - Shit. 1940 01:41:18,864 --> 01:41:21,200 I never get used to that language. 1941 01:41:22,284 --> 01:41:26,163 What in the H-E-L-L are you people doing here? 1942 01:41:26,497 --> 01:41:27,581 Uh... Uh, uh... 1943 01:41:27,790 --> 01:41:30,125 - We came to see the fireworks. - Yeah. Fireworks. 1944 01:41:30,584 --> 01:41:34,797 Us too! That's so weird! They're supposed to be amazing here. 1945 01:41:35,005 --> 01:41:36,423 - Melissa, can we talk? - No. 1946 01:41:36,632 --> 01:41:38,384 - Mom, come on, let's go. - Melissa! 1947 01:41:38,801 --> 01:41:40,886 Why are you being so rude? 1948 01:41:41,095 --> 01:41:43,681 Do you have your period? Do you need a tampon? 1949 01:41:43,889 --> 01:41:46,892 Mom, I don't need a tampon. I don't want to be near these people. 1950 01:41:47,101 --> 01:41:49,228 - Kenny. Let's go. - We should get out of here. 1951 01:41:49,562 --> 01:41:52,481 - What happened last night was wrong. - Oh, boy. 1952 01:41:52,690 --> 01:41:54,191 [GASPS] 1953 01:41:54,400 --> 01:41:55,985 Oh, my God, she knows. 1954 01:41:57,736 --> 01:41:59,780 My daughter knows what we've done. 1955 01:42:00,865 --> 01:42:04,034 Melissa, yes, it was wrong of me to fondle Mrs. Miller's breasts. 1956 01:42:04,660 --> 01:42:08,414 You're right. I'm not gonna deny that it gave me a certain amount of pleasure. 1957 01:42:08,622 --> 01:42:13,711 That said, your father and I are struggling with some serious intimacy issues. 1958 01:42:13,919 --> 01:42:15,045 Okay, no, stop! 1959 01:42:15,254 --> 01:42:16,755 I'm not as tight as I once was. 1960 01:42:16,964 --> 01:42:19,341 - Lookuu - He just falls right out. 1961 01:42:19,550 --> 01:42:21,594 It's like throwing a hot dog down a hallway. 1962 01:42:21,802 --> 01:42:23,971 Ew! What are you talking about? 1963 01:42:24,179 --> 01:42:28,475 I saw Kenny making outwith his sister and mother while their dad watched. 1964 01:42:29,852 --> 01:42:31,395 What? Oh, my...! 1965 01:42:31,604 --> 01:42:34,732 - It wasn't quite like that. - That's not exactly what happened. 1966 01:42:34,940 --> 01:42:37,860 Rose isn't my mom, she's not my sister. We're not a real family. 1967 01:42:38,068 --> 01:42:40,195 ROSE: That's enough, son! What are you saying? 1968 01:42:40,404 --> 01:42:43,449 He's been drinking. It's hard to understand. He's being ridiculous. 1969 01:42:43,657 --> 01:42:46,327 David hired us to help him smuggle drugs across the border. 1970 01:42:46,535 --> 01:42:47,995 You're drug dealers? 1971 01:42:48,412 --> 01:42:51,373 No! No, we're drug smugglers. There's a difference. 1972 01:42:51,582 --> 01:42:53,167 There's not a difference. 1973 01:42:53,375 --> 01:42:56,128 Okay, Edie, we can explain, all right? 1974 01:42:56,337 --> 01:42:58,672 ROSE: This is a small misunderstanding. It really is. 1975 01:42:58,881 --> 01:43:01,467 When he says "smuggle," he doesn't know what he's saying. 1976 01:43:01,675 --> 01:43:03,928 - It's not drugs. - He doesn't know what drugs are. 1977 01:43:04,136 --> 01:43:06,096 Seriously. It's just a little tequila. 1978 01:43:07,473 --> 01:43:08,641 What? 1979 01:43:08,849 --> 01:43:09,892 Oh, my God! 1980 01:43:10,100 --> 01:43:13,812 - Hey. Ah, thank God you're alive. ROSE: He's got a gun! 1981 01:43:14,021 --> 01:43:16,190 Listen! Hey, hey, hey. No, no! Wait, wait, wait! 1982 01:43:18,567 --> 01:43:20,527 [DON GRUNTS] 1983 01:43:21,946 --> 01:43:23,280 This is gonna be fun! 1984 01:43:24,531 --> 01:43:26,700 [GRUNTING] 1985 01:43:34,124 --> 01:43:35,417 [PANTING] 1986 01:43:35,626 --> 01:43:37,211 I still got it. 1987 01:43:37,419 --> 01:43:39,088 Don's a bad ass. 1988 01:43:39,797 --> 01:43:42,007 Oh, Don. 1989 01:43:43,884 --> 01:43:45,636 Melissa, go find a police officer. 1990 01:43:47,221 --> 01:43:48,806 Okay, Don. Don, listen to me. 1991 01:43:49,014 --> 01:43:51,392 No. Drug smuggling, David? 1992 01:43:51,600 --> 01:43:53,560 And to think of the moment we shared. 1993 01:43:53,769 --> 01:43:55,187 No, Don, there's another guy. 1994 01:43:55,729 --> 01:43:57,481 I don't want to hear about other men! 1995 01:43:58,107 --> 01:44:01,527 What? No! No, no! No! There's another guy trying to kill us! 1996 01:44:01,735 --> 01:44:03,112 What? Who? 1997 01:44:03,320 --> 01:44:04,488 Pablo Chacon. 1998 01:44:05,114 --> 01:44:06,156 Pablo Chacon. 1999 01:44:06,365 --> 01:44:07,491 Buenas noches, Millers. 2000 01:44:07,700 --> 01:44:09,368 What is he saying? What does that mean? 2001 01:44:09,576 --> 01:44:11,286 It's a familiar Mexican greeting. 2002 01:44:11,495 --> 01:44:14,623 You in the short jeans and the funny mustache, give me the gun. 2003 01:44:15,916 --> 01:44:17,126 Melissa. 2004 01:44:19,920 --> 01:44:21,088 And the mug. 2005 01:44:24,091 --> 01:44:25,300 Please don't hurt her. 2006 01:44:26,176 --> 01:44:29,054 - Take her. - Are you okay? It's okay. 2007 01:44:32,725 --> 01:44:33,934 Now the keys, please. 2008 01:44:34,476 --> 01:44:35,602 Here. Here, here, here. 2009 01:44:35,936 --> 01:44:39,148 Okay, great. You have your drugs, so you don't have to kill us. 2010 01:44:39,356 --> 01:44:41,108 Oh, I don't have to kill you, huh? 2011 01:44:41,358 --> 01:44:42,401 You take my drugs. 2012 01:44:42,609 --> 01:44:45,571 You make me cross the border into this fucked-up country. 2013 01:44:45,779 --> 01:44:47,906 You try to burn my face with steam! 2014 01:44:48,115 --> 01:44:50,409 - I'm sorry. - You destroy my car! 2015 01:44:52,244 --> 01:44:55,998 And I don't like what you do to my man every time we meet. 2016 01:44:58,333 --> 01:45:00,419 You are the worst family I've ever met. 2017 01:45:02,087 --> 01:45:04,256 But, you're right, I don't have to kill you. 2018 01:45:06,800 --> 01:45:09,178 I want to kill you. All of you. 2019 01:45:09,553 --> 01:45:11,388 Stop. Stop. 2020 01:45:13,057 --> 01:45:15,934 Don't do this. Don't kill these people. 2021 01:45:17,019 --> 01:45:20,606 This is all my fault. I'm the one that did this. I'm the drug dealer here. 2022 01:45:20,814 --> 01:45:22,149 This is an innocent family... 2023 01:45:22,357 --> 01:45:24,610 in the wrong place at the wrong time. Okay? 2024 01:45:25,903 --> 01:45:27,196 And this kid? 2025 01:45:27,529 --> 01:45:30,657 This kid's got the biggest fucking heart I've ever seen in my life. 2026 01:45:31,492 --> 01:45:33,118 And I'm lucky to call him a friend. 2027 01:45:33,452 --> 01:45:37,289 Man, an hour ago, I would have killed this girl for you. 2028 01:45:37,498 --> 01:45:40,584 But she's tough as hell. And a lot smarter than me. 2029 01:45:41,877 --> 01:45:43,170 And this one. 2030 01:45:44,755 --> 01:45:47,466 You. Sarah. 2031 01:45:48,509 --> 01:45:50,719 You're the strongest woman I've ever met. 2032 01:45:50,928 --> 01:45:52,679 And you'd make a great mom. 2033 01:45:55,307 --> 01:45:56,850 I love all of them. 2034 01:45:58,936 --> 01:46:00,145 Don't kill them. 2035 01:46:00,729 --> 01:46:01,939 Please. 2036 01:46:03,107 --> 01:46:04,441 Just kill me. 2037 01:46:05,359 --> 01:46:07,820 - Tell you what, I'll make a deal, okay? - Okay. 2038 01:46:08,028 --> 01:46:10,405 I kill you first so you don't watch your family die. 2039 01:46:10,614 --> 01:46:12,449 [FIREWORKS POPPING] 2040 01:46:14,243 --> 01:46:16,453 [ALL SHOUTING] 2041 01:46:18,956 --> 01:46:20,624 [PABLO GROANS] 2042 01:46:21,500 --> 01:46:23,001 KENNY: David. 2043 01:46:31,718 --> 01:46:33,554 MELISSA: Kenny! That was amazing! 2044 01:46:40,352 --> 01:46:42,062 I'd like to think I taught him that. 2045 01:46:42,729 --> 01:46:45,315 MELISSA: Mm. - I know I taught him that. 2046 01:46:47,109 --> 01:46:49,069 Put that tongue back in your mouth, young man. 2047 01:46:50,863 --> 01:46:52,114 Oh. 2048 01:46:52,322 --> 01:46:54,158 Wow. 2049 01:46:54,366 --> 01:46:56,869 - You kiss a lot better than my sister. - Hey! 2050 01:46:59,037 --> 01:47:00,330 - One, two, three. - Mm-hm. 2051 01:47:09,715 --> 01:47:13,677 Well, Mr. Chacon, on behalf of the United States of America... 2052 01:47:13,886 --> 01:47:15,929 I'd like to welcome you to our country. 2053 01:47:16,138 --> 01:47:17,514 Grab a seat. 2054 01:47:18,557 --> 01:47:20,934 Sorry you won't get to experience the freedom part. 2055 01:47:21,310 --> 01:47:23,353 Don, you're my hero. 2056 01:47:23,770 --> 01:47:26,315 [BOTH MOANING] 2057 01:47:27,316 --> 01:47:29,151 I want you to use those zip ties tonight. 2058 01:47:29,359 --> 01:47:31,153 [DON GIGGLES] 2059 01:47:43,123 --> 01:47:44,166 Here. 2060 01:47:44,958 --> 01:47:46,251 Thank you, David. 2061 01:47:48,879 --> 01:47:51,173 - We're gonna go. - Not so fast. 2062 01:47:51,381 --> 01:47:52,591 EDIE: Oh, no, Don. MELISSA: Dad, please. 2063 01:47:52,799 --> 01:47:54,259 Girls, hush. 2064 01:47:57,054 --> 01:47:58,931 I believe that you are good people. 2065 01:47:59,139 --> 01:48:01,266 But you broke the law. All of you. 2066 01:48:01,558 --> 01:48:05,020 And worse than that, you put my wife and daughter's lives in danger. 2067 01:48:05,562 --> 01:48:08,398 - Sorry. - Gonna have to place you under arrest. 2068 01:48:08,607 --> 01:48:09,858 EDIE: Don, why? MELISSA: No, Dad, don't. 2069 01:48:10,067 --> 01:48:11,526 DON: And I'm gonna do just that... 2070 01:48:12,486 --> 01:48:14,363 right after I turn around... 2071 01:48:15,280 --> 01:48:16,573 and hug my family. 2072 01:48:29,169 --> 01:48:30,671 David, come on. 2073 01:48:38,470 --> 01:48:39,680 BRAD: It's all here! 2074 01:48:40,097 --> 01:48:42,557 I am blown away, David. Great job. 2075 01:48:43,016 --> 01:48:45,143 But it's late. 2076 01:48:45,602 --> 01:48:48,522 Deadline was last night, so, sorry, buddy, no deal. 2077 01:48:49,481 --> 01:48:52,484 Brad, I almost got killed over this shit. Twice. 2078 01:48:52,693 --> 01:48:56,488 I'm not gonna be an asshole about this. I got two tons of premium weed. 2079 01:48:56,822 --> 01:49:00,534 Yes! And you got Chacon pinched in the process... 2080 01:49:00,742 --> 01:49:03,829 - which is a huge win for team Brad. - Mm-hm. 2081 01:49:04,037 --> 01:49:07,165 So how about we shake hands and call it even. 2082 01:49:07,374 --> 01:49:08,625 [SCOFFS] 2083 01:49:09,918 --> 01:49:13,797 - You were never gonna pay me, were you? - Oh! Bingo. Heh-heh. 2084 01:49:15,132 --> 01:49:17,342 Was that a dick move? I can't even tell anymore. 2085 01:49:18,427 --> 01:49:20,429 [ALL SHOUTING] 2086 01:49:20,637 --> 01:49:22,389 AGENT 1: Move! AGENT 2: Go! Go! Go! 2087 01:49:23,223 --> 01:49:24,266 DEA! 2088 01:49:25,183 --> 01:49:27,394 - Down, down, down! AGENT 3: Get on the ground! Freeze! 2089 01:49:29,563 --> 01:49:31,023 Clear! 2090 01:49:33,317 --> 01:49:34,484 You double-crossed me. 2091 01:49:34,818 --> 01:49:36,361 Kind of a dick move, right? 2092 01:49:37,446 --> 01:49:38,989 BRAD: You got nothing on me! 2093 01:49:39,281 --> 01:49:40,699 Nothing at all. 2094 01:49:41,700 --> 01:49:44,244 Oh, shit! Look at this guy. 2095 01:49:44,453 --> 01:49:46,330 Who let in 50 Cent? 2096 01:49:47,914 --> 01:49:50,083 - Nice work, David. - Thank you, Don. 2097 01:49:50,292 --> 01:49:52,336 Now, I know you don't get your money... 2098 01:49:52,544 --> 01:49:55,672 but doing the right thing had to feel a whole lot better. 2099 01:49:56,089 --> 01:49:57,466 No. 2100 01:49:58,091 --> 01:49:59,426 All right, maybe a little bit. 2101 01:49:59,634 --> 01:50:04,097 As promised, in exchange for your testimony against Chacon and Gurdlinger... 2102 01:50:04,306 --> 01:50:07,559 we have to keep you in witness protection for three to six months. 2103 01:50:07,768 --> 01:50:10,187 - Just me? - Just you. 2104 01:50:12,773 --> 01:50:16,651 Oh. And any other witnesses to the crime. 2105 01:50:21,114 --> 01:50:23,033 [BICYCLE BELL RINGS] 2106 01:50:27,496 --> 01:50:29,247 DAVID [ON COMPUTER]: There you are. ROSE: I don't care. 2107 01:50:29,456 --> 01:50:31,496 - Look at this hot nerd. DAVID: Rub some din' on it. 2108 01:50:31,666 --> 01:50:33,168 - What are you doing? - Look at this. 2109 01:50:33,377 --> 01:50:35,170 [CHATTERING OVER COMPUTER] 2110 01:50:35,379 --> 01:50:39,216 You gotta tell Casey to stop posting this stuff. It's already got a million hits... 2111 01:50:39,549 --> 01:50:40,759 and growing. 2112 01:50:40,967 --> 01:50:43,929 Okay, okay, I'll tell her after lunch. Oof, you know what else? 2113 01:50:44,137 --> 01:50:45,680 I can see down your tank top. 2114 01:50:52,437 --> 01:50:53,522 DAN: Hey there. - Hey. 2115 01:50:53,730 --> 01:50:56,817 - Wanted to introduce ourselves. I'm Dan. - Hey, Dan. 2116 01:50:57,025 --> 01:50:58,860 My wife, Kathy. We just moved in. 2117 01:50:59,319 --> 01:51:00,695 DAVID: Hello. - We're the Johnsons. 2118 01:51:00,904 --> 01:51:02,989 Oh, great. Welcome to the neighborhood. 2119 01:51:03,448 --> 01:51:04,950 Hey, guys. Come here. 2120 01:51:05,158 --> 01:51:06,284 Come meet our neighbors. 2121 01:51:06,493 --> 01:51:07,536 I'm David. 2122 01:51:07,911 --> 01:51:09,871 And this is my family right here. 2123 01:51:10,038 --> 01:51:11,289 This is my son, Kenny. 2124 01:51:11,456 --> 01:51:12,624 My daughter, Casey. 2125 01:51:12,791 --> 01:51:15,335 - And this is my wife, Sarah. - Nice to meet you. 2126 01:51:15,502 --> 01:51:18,046 - We're the Millers. DAN: Ah. Pleasure. 2127 01:51:18,213 --> 01:51:20,549 Thanks for saying hi. All right, take care now. 2128 01:51:20,715 --> 01:51:22,592 KATHY: See you soon. Bye. - Bye. 2129 01:51:22,926 --> 01:51:25,166 ROSE: I don't like them. DAVID: I don't like them either. 2130 01:51:25,303 --> 01:51:27,722 Why introduce yourself? I mean, who the fuck are you? 2131 01:51:27,889 --> 01:51:30,892 ROSE: I can't believe this. We're stuck in the suburbs. 2132 01:51:31,059 --> 01:51:35,021 DAVID: Now, this sucks. I can't wait for the trial to be over. Gotta get outta here. 2133 01:51:40,402 --> 01:51:41,445 Stick to the big A. 2134 01:51:41,611 --> 01:51:43,155 - Anal. - Abstinence, you meant. 2135 01:51:43,321 --> 01:51:45,115 - Neither makes a baby. - He confuses... 2136 01:51:45,282 --> 01:51:47,951 Oscars! For all of you! 2137 01:51:48,118 --> 01:51:51,121 That's very nice of you, but we're not that good of an actor, no. 2138 01:51:52,622 --> 01:51:53,874 [CREW LAUGHING] 2139 01:51:54,583 --> 01:51:56,877 - Those guys are picking on that girl. - Where? 2140 01:51:57,043 --> 01:51:58,795 [KENNY LAUGHING] 2141 01:51:59,504 --> 01:52:01,548 - I'll never forget these moments. - What? 2142 01:52:01,715 --> 01:52:04,217 - And I hope you don't either. - Ha-ha-ha. 2143 01:52:04,634 --> 01:52:05,886 MAN: And, action. 2144 01:52:08,054 --> 01:52:09,973 It takes two men to open this mini-fridge. 2145 01:52:10,515 --> 01:52:12,559 Aah! 2146 01:52:12,726 --> 01:52:16,605 It's literally so hard! 2147 01:52:17,814 --> 01:52:20,095 - Okay, you guys, seriously, you're mak... CREW: Ha-ha-ha! 2148 01:52:20,442 --> 01:52:21,485 MAN: Look, look, look. 2149 01:52:22,944 --> 01:52:24,779 - Ha, ha! - Leave the girls alone. 2150 01:52:24,946 --> 01:52:28,074 What are you gonna do, freckles? What are you gonna do, Don Knotts? 2151 01:52:28,241 --> 01:52:30,327 What are you gonna do, guy with great posture? 2152 01:52:31,036 --> 01:52:32,454 [GRUNTS] 2153 01:52:32,621 --> 01:52:34,789 SCOTTIE: Ow! Broke my nose! 2154 01:52:35,165 --> 01:52:37,417 I'm terrified of blood, you know what I'm saying? 2155 01:52:37,751 --> 01:52:40,670 You just deviated my septum, you know what I'm saying? 2156 01:52:40,837 --> 01:52:44,299 Uh, I want a Band-Aid. 2157 01:52:45,675 --> 01:52:47,761 ROSE: Closed? - They're closed. Till morning. 2158 01:52:47,928 --> 01:52:50,388 Oklahoma. Oh, poop. 2159 01:52:50,555 --> 01:52:52,641 Cheese and rice. Ants on a log. 2160 01:52:52,807 --> 01:52:55,101 Poop on a Popsicle. Oh, cock marbles. 2161 01:52:55,268 --> 01:52:58,146 - Oh, fuck. ROSE: Ha-ha-ha. 2162 01:52:58,813 --> 01:53:00,315 [GRUNTING] 2163 01:53:07,989 --> 01:53:09,658 [BOTH GIGGLING] 2164 01:53:09,824 --> 01:53:11,660 [CREW LAUGHING] 2165 01:53:12,786 --> 01:53:15,455 It just stopped at a certain point... 2166 01:53:15,622 --> 01:53:18,041 and you just couldn't insert it any more. 2167 01:53:18,208 --> 01:53:21,378 Well, I just looked like I had, like, a Storm trooper dick. 2168 01:53:21,545 --> 01:53:24,256 [ALL LAUGHING] 2169 01:53:24,798 --> 01:53:27,842 So I'm just gonna-There we go. There they are. 2170 01:53:28,009 --> 01:53:29,094 This is crazy. 2171 01:53:29,261 --> 01:53:32,347 Those are just gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous breasts. 2172 01:53:33,682 --> 01:53:34,724 [SNORTS] 2173 01:53:34,891 --> 01:53:36,560 MAN 1: Cut! All right. Cut. 2174 01:53:37,185 --> 01:53:38,937 MAN 2: And, action. - Whoo! 2175 01:53:39,104 --> 01:53:41,982 - How about a little victory music, shall we? - Yes, please. 2176 01:53:42,691 --> 01:53:44,985 [THE REMBRANDTS' "I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU" PLAYING ON RADIO] 2177 01:53:45,151 --> 01:53:46,820 - I love this song! - This is awesome! 2178 01:53:47,112 --> 01:53:48,405 [DAVID WHOOPS] 2179 01:53:50,365 --> 01:53:55,120 [SINGING] You're job's a joke, you're broke Your love life 's D.O.A. 2180 01:53:55,287 --> 01:53:58,290 I'll be there for you 2181 01:53:58,456 --> 01:53:59,958 When the rain starts to fall 2182 01:54:00,125 --> 01:54:03,295 I'll be there for you 2183 01:54:03,461 --> 01:54:06,006 'Cause you're there for me too 2184 01:54:06,172 --> 01:54:08,508 That was really good. 2185 01:54:08,675 --> 01:54:10,260 [ALL LAUGHING] 2186 01:54:10,427 --> 01:54:12,679 That's very funny. 2187 01:58:23,179 --> 01:58:25,181 ONE-EYE: AdYos, Millers. 173303