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1
00:00:03,177 --> 00:00:04,395
I'll go 20.
2
00:00:04,439 --> 00:00:06,267
I call.
3
00:00:06,310 --> 00:00:08,921
I'll see your 20,
and I raise you 20.
4
00:00:08,965 --> 00:00:12,229
40 cents? Too rich for my blood.
5
00:00:14,362 --> 00:00:15,493
Oh, hey, Al.
6
00:00:15,537 --> 00:00:16,494
Hello.
7
00:00:16,538 --> 00:00:18,018
Uh, what are you guys doing?
8
00:00:18,061 --> 00:00:19,932
We're teaching Hazel
how to play poker.
9
00:00:19,976 --> 00:00:21,151
It's easy. Want to learn?
10
00:00:21,195 --> 00:00:23,066
Oh, I lived with Marines
for six years.
11
00:00:23,110 --> 00:00:25,764
I know how to play,
but for me gambling is haram.
12
00:00:25,808 --> 00:00:27,331
That means forbidden.
13
00:00:27,375 --> 00:00:29,159
I figured it out.
14
00:00:29,203 --> 00:00:30,639
Poker's not gambling.
15
00:00:30,682 --> 00:00:31,901
It's a game of skill.
16
00:00:31,944 --> 00:00:34,034
That's why I have
all Freddy's money.
17
00:00:34,077 --> 00:00:35,644
Maybe I'm hustling you.
18
00:00:35,687 --> 00:00:37,776
No, you're not.I know.
19
00:00:37,820 --> 00:00:39,778
It's to you, Hazel.
20
00:00:39,822 --> 00:00:41,084
I'll call.
21
00:00:41,128 --> 00:00:42,999
Show them.Two aces.
22
00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:45,523
Three nines.Ooh!
23
00:00:45,567 --> 00:00:47,177
Dang it. I bought you a bike
for Christmas.
24
00:00:47,221 --> 00:00:49,049
Treat me better.
25
00:00:49,092 --> 00:00:51,529
Good job, baby.Ante up.
26
00:00:54,141 --> 00:00:57,448
I'm feeling eyes on my cards
and breath on my neck.
27
00:00:57,492 --> 00:00:59,711
Sorry.
28
00:00:59,755 --> 00:01:01,322
Check.Check.
29
00:01:01,365 --> 00:01:03,411
50 cents.
30
00:01:03,454 --> 00:01:05,543
I'll raise you 50.
31
00:01:05,587 --> 00:01:07,545
I got nothing.
32
00:01:07,589 --> 00:01:09,808
Except you,
and that's everything.
33
00:01:09,852 --> 00:01:12,333
I fold.
34
00:01:12,376 --> 00:01:13,943
It's to you.
35
00:01:15,466 --> 00:01:16,728
He's bluffing.
36
00:01:16,772 --> 00:01:18,948
Everyone can hear you.
37
00:01:21,603 --> 00:01:23,561
Fine. I raise a buck.
38
00:01:23,605 --> 00:01:24,997
Raise more.Do you want to play?
39
00:01:25,041 --> 00:01:27,261
I want you
to play better.
40
00:01:27,304 --> 00:01:30,002
Big mistake. I'm not bluffing.
41
00:01:31,265 --> 00:01:33,093
Two bucks.
42
00:01:34,529 --> 00:01:35,965
Dad?
43
00:01:37,271 --> 00:01:39,925
Damn it. How many times
did I drive you to the airport?
44
00:01:41,797 --> 00:01:43,146
Good guess, Uncle Al.
45
00:01:43,190 --> 00:01:44,582
It was not a guess, Hazel Jaan.
46
00:01:44,626 --> 00:01:46,062
Reading people is my superpower.
47
00:01:46,106 --> 00:01:48,238
That is why I was
such a good interpreter.
48
00:01:48,282 --> 00:01:51,023
I had to know in an instant
if someone was hiding something.
49
00:01:51,067 --> 00:01:52,242
So, what's my tell?
50
00:01:52,286 --> 00:01:55,985
Oh, when you bluff,
you go like this.
51
00:01:57,160 --> 00:02:00,903
Sweet maple syrup, I do do that.
52
00:02:00,946 --> 00:02:02,078
You got a hell of an eye.
53
00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:04,820
It is my gift.
54
00:02:04,863 --> 00:02:07,736
Which I suppose means that
it is a skill...
55
00:02:07,779 --> 00:02:09,259
I said that, like, a minute ago.
56
00:02:09,303 --> 00:02:12,175
Therefore not gambling,
and not haram.
57
00:02:12,219 --> 00:02:14,438
I bet you a buck
he's gonna play.
58
00:02:14,482 --> 00:02:16,136
You got it.
59
00:02:16,179 --> 00:02:19,530
Surely, playing a hand or two
wouldn't harm anyone.
60
00:02:19,574 --> 00:02:20,966
Pay up.
61
00:02:21,010 --> 00:02:23,317
This is not my night.
62
00:02:24,579 --> 00:02:26,320
♪
63
00:02:26,363 --> 00:02:28,148
♪ Oh!
64
00:02:39,985 --> 00:02:41,987
Wow. You're good.
65
00:02:42,031 --> 00:02:43,815
Would you think
more or less of me
66
00:02:43,859 --> 00:02:45,121
if I told you
67
00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:47,123
I came last night
to practice?
68
00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:49,125
You practiced
for our date?
69
00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:50,909
I didn't want
to embarrass myself
70
00:02:50,953 --> 00:02:52,259
in front of
a real artist.
71
00:02:52,302 --> 00:02:54,913
Smart. This vase
I'm making,
72
00:02:54,957 --> 00:02:56,567
gonna sell it
73
00:02:56,611 --> 00:02:58,830
for $300,000.
74
00:02:58,874 --> 00:03:02,007
Oh, darn, I only have
$100,000 on me.
75
00:03:02,051 --> 00:03:04,923
Oh, this is awkward. I thought
I was dating a rich guy.
76
00:03:04,967 --> 00:03:06,447
No.
77
00:03:06,490 --> 00:03:08,753
You ever think about
doing this professionally?
78
00:03:08,797 --> 00:03:11,452
I did, for a long time, but...
79
00:03:11,495 --> 00:03:13,758
honestly, I'm worried
it would lose some of the joy
80
00:03:13,802 --> 00:03:16,544
if it were my job.That makes sense.
81
00:03:16,587 --> 00:03:17,936
Besides, I...
82
00:03:17,980 --> 00:03:19,764
kind of like
working for my dad,
83
00:03:19,808 --> 00:03:22,245
but if you tell him,
I'll deny it.
84
00:03:22,289 --> 00:03:24,378
That's great that you have
that self-awareness.
85
00:03:24,421 --> 00:03:25,683
Most people
are oblivious.
86
00:03:25,727 --> 00:03:27,294
Oblivious?
87
00:03:27,337 --> 00:03:30,732
Is that your professional
assessment as a psychologist?
88
00:03:30,775 --> 00:03:33,517
Uh, no. The-the technical
term is "stupid."
89
00:03:33,561 --> 00:03:36,085
I was just trying
to class it up.
90
00:03:36,128 --> 00:03:37,782
What are you into
outside of work?
91
00:03:37,826 --> 00:03:38,870
Well...
92
00:03:38,914 --> 00:03:40,655
doing pottery
with pretty girls
93
00:03:40,698 --> 00:03:42,091
is kind of my thing
right now.
94
00:03:42,134 --> 00:03:44,136
Uh-huh.
And there's
my punk band.
95
00:03:44,180 --> 00:03:46,443
You have a punk band?
Yes.
96
00:03:46,487 --> 00:03:48,271
You?
Yes.
97
00:03:48,315 --> 00:03:50,752
I may look like a mild-mannered
college professor,
98
00:03:50,795 --> 00:03:52,754
but every Thursday
at 4:00 p.m.,
99
00:03:52,797 --> 00:03:54,843
I am a guitar-smashing
maniac.
What?
100
00:03:54,886 --> 00:03:56,018
I don't
actually smash it.
101
00:03:56,061 --> 00:03:57,715
I just kind of lift it
above my head,
102
00:03:57,759 --> 00:03:59,630
then put it
down gently.
103
00:03:59,674 --> 00:04:02,329
And what is this
pretend band called?
104
00:04:02,372 --> 00:04:03,721
It is not pretend.
105
00:04:03,765 --> 00:04:05,984
It is me and several other
psychology professors,
106
00:04:06,028 --> 00:04:08,900
and we are called
"Rage Against the Dean."
107
00:04:10,206 --> 00:04:12,687
And do you wear
punk makeup?
108
00:04:12,730 --> 00:04:14,819
Eyeliner,
blue lipstick?
109
00:04:14,863 --> 00:04:17,431
No, just a little
zinc oxide on my nose
110
00:04:17,474 --> 00:04:18,867
when we play outside.
111
00:04:18,910 --> 00:04:22,262
Oh, and a hat.
I have a really cool hat.
112
00:04:25,352 --> 00:04:26,831
Check.
113
00:04:26,875 --> 00:04:27,963
I raise ten.
114
00:04:28,006 --> 00:04:30,748
Mm... Come on, Al,
115
00:04:30,792 --> 00:04:32,620
what you gonna do?
116
00:04:32,663 --> 00:04:33,969
You have nothing.
117
00:04:34,012 --> 00:04:35,318
I'm not touching my eyebrow.
118
00:04:35,362 --> 00:04:36,754
You have a new tell.
I'll let you know
119
00:04:36,798 --> 00:04:38,147
what it is after
I take your money.
120
00:04:38,974 --> 00:04:40,845
You're cute, but have nothing.
121
00:04:40,889 --> 00:04:43,239
He's not wrong.
122
00:04:44,719 --> 00:04:46,677
And... you think
you have a good hand,
123
00:04:46,721 --> 00:04:48,636
but I'm letting you know,
as a friend,
124
00:04:48,679 --> 00:04:50,115
you're in trouble.
125
00:04:50,159 --> 00:04:51,769
Guy's been playing,
like, 12 minutes.
126
00:04:51,813 --> 00:04:53,249
He thinks he's Maverick.
127
00:04:53,293 --> 00:04:55,338
You know Maverick, right? Top Gun?
128
00:04:55,382 --> 00:04:57,906
I'll tell you later.
129
00:04:58,689 --> 00:05:00,430
Raise ten.You can read
130
00:05:00,474 --> 00:05:02,258
these civilians,
131
00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:04,913
but not me. Call.
132
00:05:04,956 --> 00:05:07,219
I'm out.Yeah, me, too.
133
00:05:07,263 --> 00:05:09,004
Two pair.Full house.
134
00:05:09,047 --> 00:05:11,441
No!
135
00:05:11,485 --> 00:05:13,356
You never listen.
136
00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:14,879
Hey, Al,
what's my tell?
137
00:05:14,923 --> 00:05:17,708
Oh, you smile when
you have a good hand,
138
00:05:17,752 --> 00:05:20,798
and you frown when you have
a bad one.
139
00:05:20,842 --> 00:05:23,105
He's not wrong.
140
00:05:27,544 --> 00:05:30,068
What you doing?Video poker.
141
00:05:30,112 --> 00:05:31,722
I'm playing Mississippi Stud.
142
00:05:31,766 --> 00:05:33,289
That was my nickname
in high school.
143
00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:35,160
Yeah, it was.
144
00:05:36,292 --> 00:05:38,076
Wow, you are really
into this.
145
00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:39,469
You can't read
people online,
146
00:05:39,513 --> 00:05:42,037
but they still have tells
in the way they bet.
147
00:05:42,080 --> 00:05:43,604
Hey, aren't you
supposed to be in class?
148
00:05:43,647 --> 00:05:46,781
No, no, my class is not
for another... two hours ago.
149
00:05:47,782 --> 00:05:49,697
It's not like you
to blow off school.
150
00:05:49,740 --> 00:05:51,394
Oh, he missed one class.
151
00:05:51,438 --> 00:05:52,874
You would've put me
in the Christmas letter
152
00:05:52,917 --> 00:05:54,266
if I only missed one class.
153
00:05:54,310 --> 00:05:56,268
Yeah, well, this guy's
my A student, okay?
154
00:05:56,312 --> 00:05:58,096
Before him, I didn't have
anything to put on the fridge
155
00:05:58,140 --> 00:06:00,751
that wasn't a court summons.
156
00:06:00,795 --> 00:06:02,797
Cut him some slack.
He doesn't drink,
157
00:06:02,840 --> 00:06:04,233
he doesn't smoke,
158
00:06:04,276 --> 00:06:06,017
if he snores,
he wakes up and apologizes.
159
00:06:06,061 --> 00:06:08,933
Oh, did I snore last night?
I'm so sorry.
160
00:06:08,977 --> 00:06:10,413
Well, you just be careful.
161
00:06:10,457 --> 00:06:12,894
This kind of thing
can be a slippery slope.
162
00:06:12,937 --> 00:06:15,331
I had a buddy, lost his house
163
00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:16,550
playing blackjack.
164
00:06:16,593 --> 00:06:19,074
Eh, he was a gambler.
I'm not a gambler.
165
00:06:19,117 --> 00:06:21,598
Either way,
the man lives in a tent.
166
00:06:21,642 --> 00:06:23,600
Huh.
167
00:06:23,644 --> 00:06:26,603
Okay, how was
your date?
168
00:06:26,647 --> 00:06:29,606
Tell me everything.We made pottery,
169
00:06:29,650 --> 00:06:32,435
walked through the park,
fed ducks.
170
00:06:32,479 --> 00:06:34,306
Well, I fed ducks,
171
00:06:34,350 --> 00:06:36,657
he was a little unnerved
by the quacking.
172
00:06:36,700 --> 00:06:38,659
It was cute.
173
00:06:38,702 --> 00:06:39,877
And then?
174
00:06:39,921 --> 00:06:41,531
Then we had ice cream
175
00:06:41,575 --> 00:06:44,360
and did impressions
of the people in the store.
176
00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:46,318
There was this one guy
who was like,
177
00:06:46,362 --> 00:06:47,972
"Can I try that?"
178
00:06:48,930 --> 00:06:51,236
You had to be there.
179
00:06:51,280 --> 00:06:54,109
Come on, Lizzie,
get to the good stuff.
180
00:06:54,152 --> 00:06:56,807
Yeah... Yeah,
that's the thing...
181
00:06:56,851 --> 00:06:59,549
Oh, no, what happened?
182
00:06:59,593 --> 00:07:01,072
I messed up.
183
00:07:01,116 --> 00:07:03,118
I mean, we were having
this amazing time,
184
00:07:03,161 --> 00:07:04,772
and he walked me to the door,
185
00:07:04,815 --> 00:07:06,469
and I was thinking
about kissing him,
186
00:07:06,513 --> 00:07:09,341
and I'm sure he was thinking
about kissing me.
187
00:07:09,385 --> 00:07:10,908
And...?
188
00:07:10,952 --> 00:07:13,607
And I gave him finger guns
189
00:07:13,650 --> 00:07:17,175
and said, "Night, pardner,"
like I was in an old Western.
190
00:07:18,220 --> 00:07:21,658
That is the weirdest thing
I've ever heard.
191
00:07:21,702 --> 00:07:24,139
I know, and it came out
of my face.
192
00:07:25,053 --> 00:07:27,490
So, what did he do?Well,
193
00:07:27,534 --> 00:07:28,970
he was thrown, clearly,
194
00:07:29,013 --> 00:07:31,494
but he's such a sweet guy
195
00:07:31,538 --> 00:07:33,104
that he gave me finger guns back
196
00:07:33,148 --> 00:07:35,411
and said,
"Night, ma'am. Pow, pow."
197
00:07:36,891 --> 00:07:38,501
So, you froze?
198
00:07:38,545 --> 00:07:41,025
Instead of a scene
from a romantic movie,
199
00:07:41,069 --> 00:07:44,246
it was "Lizzie Dugan,
Virgin Gun Slinger."
200
00:07:45,552 --> 00:07:46,727
Are you attractedto him?
201
00:07:46,770 --> 00:07:48,685
Yes. That's the weird thing.
202
00:07:48,729 --> 00:07:51,166
That's the weird thing?
203
00:07:51,209 --> 00:07:53,516
In that moment, I thought,
204
00:07:53,560 --> 00:07:54,735
"Would Michael like this guy?
205
00:07:54,778 --> 00:07:56,824
"Why am I even
asking myself that?
206
00:07:56,867 --> 00:07:58,521
Am I cheating on Michael?"
207
00:07:58,565 --> 00:08:00,523
Sweetie, this is normal.
208
00:08:00,567 --> 00:08:01,959
It's been three years.
209
00:08:02,003 --> 00:08:03,178
It could be
a hundred years.
210
00:08:03,221 --> 00:08:06,050
Your feelings
are your feelings.
211
00:08:06,094 --> 00:08:08,531
You have to go at whatever
pace feels right,
212
00:08:08,575 --> 00:08:10,751
and until then...
213
00:08:10,794 --> 00:08:12,796
Pow, pow, pow.
214
00:08:34,122 --> 00:08:36,254
Nice day for gambling.
215
00:08:36,298 --> 00:08:37,908
Oh, no.
216
00:08:37,952 --> 00:08:40,084
Poker is not gambling.
217
00:08:40,128 --> 00:08:42,260
It is a game of skill.
218
00:08:42,304 --> 00:08:44,436
Hey, high roller,
what'll you have?
219
00:08:44,480 --> 00:08:47,657
I'll take a slippery slope,
two olives.
220
00:08:54,838 --> 00:08:55,926
You look ridiculous.
221
00:08:55,970 --> 00:08:58,276
You look like
a winner.
222
00:08:58,320 --> 00:08:59,800
I raise you
223
00:08:59,843 --> 00:09:02,280
$1 billion.
224
00:09:02,324 --> 00:09:04,108
She's bluffing.
225
00:09:04,152 --> 00:09:06,067
Bottle of haram
for the gentleman.
226
00:09:06,937 --> 00:09:09,200
Oh, I ordered a slippery slope.
227
00:09:09,244 --> 00:09:10,375
This is compliments
228
00:09:10,419 --> 00:09:12,334
of the devil.
229
00:09:14,902 --> 00:09:16,381
Bottoms up.
230
00:09:16,425 --> 00:09:17,687
This is hell?
231
00:09:17,731 --> 00:09:20,298
Who did I give
my keys to?
232
00:09:20,342 --> 00:09:23,475
No, no, none of this is haram.
This is not gambling.
233
00:09:23,519 --> 00:09:28,219
I raise you... and you
turn out like this?
234
00:09:28,263 --> 00:09:30,047
Mother?
235
00:09:30,091 --> 00:09:31,614
You've cast a shame
on our whole family.
236
00:09:31,658 --> 00:09:32,702
When did you learn English?
237
00:09:32,746 --> 00:09:35,183
Don't change the subject.
238
00:09:35,226 --> 00:09:37,489
Not cool, dude.
Not cool.
239
00:09:38,534 --> 00:09:40,971
I got us Penn and Teller
tickets. Are we going or what?
240
00:09:42,582 --> 00:09:44,148
Fold!
241
00:09:46,150 --> 00:09:47,499
Bad dream?
242
00:09:47,543 --> 00:09:49,197
Eh...
243
00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:50,720
It's nothing.
244
00:09:50,764 --> 00:09:52,069
You want to talk about it?
245
00:09:52,113 --> 00:09:54,681
No, because I'm not doing
anything wrong!
246
00:09:55,986 --> 00:09:59,424
Unless I was snoring,
in which case, I'm sorry.
247
00:10:07,911 --> 00:10:10,653
You do good work,
Mr. Dugan.
248
00:10:10,697 --> 00:10:11,915
Oh, thank you,my dear.
249
00:10:11,959 --> 00:10:14,309
Kitchens are my
favorite thing to build.
250
00:10:14,352 --> 00:10:16,528
I didn't know that.
How come?
251
00:10:16,572 --> 00:10:18,269
It's the center
of the home,
252
00:10:18,313 --> 00:10:20,141
where the hearth used to be.
253
00:10:20,184 --> 00:10:21,795
Sacred gathering place,
254
00:10:21,838 --> 00:10:24,449
where families comes together
to make each other miserable.
255
00:10:24,493 --> 00:10:26,277
Over food?
256
00:10:26,321 --> 00:10:27,670
Over food.
257
00:10:28,497 --> 00:10:30,281
Hello!
258
00:10:30,325 --> 00:10:31,456
Well, nice of you to join us.
259
00:10:31,500 --> 00:10:32,632
Sorry we're late.
260
00:10:32,675 --> 00:10:34,590
We went for a little
trip last night.
261
00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:36,418
Well, I couldn't sleep,
so we went for a drive.
262
00:10:36,461 --> 00:10:37,680
To a casino.
263
00:10:37,724 --> 00:10:39,551
Are you kidding me?RILEY: Don't worry,
264
00:10:39,595 --> 00:10:41,292
this guy won big.
265
00:10:41,336 --> 00:10:43,164
$87!
266
00:10:45,166 --> 00:10:47,342
So, you managed to miss class
for the first time ever,
267
00:10:47,385 --> 00:10:49,692
and now you show up late to work
for the first time ever.
268
00:10:49,736 --> 00:10:51,999
He also tried crab legs
for the first time ever.
269
00:10:52,042 --> 00:10:55,611
The sign said "all you can eat,"
but they didn't really mean it.
270
00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:58,353
Al, you need to slow down.
271
00:10:58,396 --> 00:11:00,703
That's what they
told you at the buffet.
272
00:11:01,835 --> 00:11:03,750
Here's what you need
to do, stop.
273
00:11:03,793 --> 00:11:05,273
Thank you
for your concern,
274
00:11:05,316 --> 00:11:07,710
but I do not have a problem.
I can stop whenever I want.
275
00:11:07,754 --> 00:11:09,277
Great. Start now.Tomorrow.
276
00:11:09,320 --> 00:11:11,540
No, now now.
One week, no poker.
277
00:11:11,583 --> 00:11:12,541
Easy. Five days.
278
00:11:12,584 --> 00:11:14,238
A whole week.
279
00:11:14,282 --> 00:11:16,371
Oh, the weekend, too?
280
00:11:16,414 --> 00:11:18,155
Okay, that was
not clear to me.
281
00:11:26,555 --> 00:11:29,558
I never doubted you
for a second.Oh, yes, you did.
282
00:11:29,601 --> 00:11:31,081
Sure did.
283
00:11:31,125 --> 00:11:32,082
Come on in.
284
00:11:32,126 --> 00:11:33,214
I don't want to impose,
285
00:11:33,257 --> 00:11:34,476
I-I was just in the neighborhood
286
00:11:34,519 --> 00:11:35,912
with my bass.
287
00:11:36,826 --> 00:11:38,741
There's an amp in my car.
288
00:11:38,785 --> 00:11:40,874
I'm glad you
stopped by.
289
00:11:40,917 --> 00:11:42,310
Can I get you
something to drink?
290
00:11:42,353 --> 00:11:44,051
Uh, do you have coconut water?
You know what?
291
00:11:44,094 --> 00:11:46,880
That's a weird thing to ask for.
Forget it.
292
00:11:48,142 --> 00:11:51,101
Listen, I need to talk to you
about something.
293
00:11:51,145 --> 00:11:52,842
Okay, what's up?
294
00:11:53,669 --> 00:11:56,106
I feel bad
about our date.
295
00:11:56,933 --> 00:11:59,196
Yeah, I've always been
freaked out by ducks.
296
00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:00,720
I...
297
00:12:01,764 --> 00:12:04,854
Oh, you mean the
finger guns. Yeah...
298
00:12:04,898 --> 00:12:05,725
Yeah.
299
00:12:05,768 --> 00:12:07,509
Just when we got
to my door,
300
00:12:07,552 --> 00:12:10,686
I thought about
my fiancé and...
301
00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:12,427
I get it.
302
00:12:12,470 --> 00:12:14,559
Grief is complicated.
303
00:12:14,603 --> 00:12:16,997
I just might need
to take things slow
304
00:12:17,040 --> 00:12:18,781
for a while.
305
00:12:18,825 --> 00:12:22,132
Well, good news, I am
the most patient man alive.
306
00:12:22,176 --> 00:12:25,440
I did a two-year study
on rat sleep cycles.
307
00:12:25,483 --> 00:12:28,573
I watched rats sleep
for two years.
308
00:12:28,617 --> 00:12:29,879
What did you learn?
309
00:12:29,923 --> 00:12:32,229
Inconclusive.
I have to do it again,
310
00:12:32,273 --> 00:12:33,970
and I don't mind one bit.
311
00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:38,453
Thanks.
312
00:12:38,496 --> 00:12:41,282
I didn't know dating again
would be so scary.
313
00:12:41,325 --> 00:12:43,588
How about we don't even
call it dating?
314
00:12:43,632 --> 00:12:45,808
We could just say
we're in a band together,
315
00:12:45,852 --> 00:12:47,462
and if we ever break up,
316
00:12:47,505 --> 00:12:49,116
we can blame it on the fact that
317
00:12:49,159 --> 00:12:52,467
you're a little bit country,
I'm a little bit rock 'n' roll.
318
00:12:53,555 --> 00:12:55,818
You know, I play
a little keyboard.
319
00:12:55,862 --> 00:12:58,821
Why am I just
finding this out now?
320
00:12:58,865 --> 00:13:00,997
What's with the bass?
321
00:13:01,041 --> 00:13:02,259
We're starting a band.
322
00:13:02,303 --> 00:13:04,348
Can I be in it?Do you play an instrument?
323
00:13:04,392 --> 00:13:06,742
Drums, probably.
324
00:13:08,962 --> 00:13:10,093
You're in.
325
00:13:11,573 --> 00:13:14,881
What should we
call ourselves?
326
00:13:14,924 --> 00:13:16,404
"Hazel and the Old People"?
327
00:13:16,447 --> 00:13:19,320
Let's keep thinking.
328
00:13:19,363 --> 00:13:21,713
That's the one
to beat, though.
329
00:13:26,109 --> 00:13:27,502
Got any threes?
330
00:13:29,547 --> 00:13:31,549
Yes.
331
00:13:31,593 --> 00:13:33,464
Really?
332
00:13:33,508 --> 00:13:34,857
You couldn't go
a single day?
333
00:13:34,901 --> 00:13:36,337
Oh, it is not poker, Mr. Art.
334
00:13:36,380 --> 00:13:37,686
It is "Going Fish."
335
00:13:37,729 --> 00:13:39,949
There's no skill,
there's no stakes.
336
00:13:39,993 --> 00:13:41,908
It doesn't matter
if you win or lose.
337
00:13:41,951 --> 00:13:44,171
It doesn't matter
if you live or die.
338
00:13:45,128 --> 00:13:47,609
You want to run errands
with me, Hazelnut,
339
00:13:47,652 --> 00:13:49,524
or do you want to watch
a grown man go bananas?
340
00:13:49,567 --> 00:13:51,134
I was enjoying the bananas.
341
00:13:51,178 --> 00:13:52,962
Get in the car.
342
00:13:55,095 --> 00:13:58,054
Oh, Riley, I feel like I found
the great love of my life,
343
00:13:58,098 --> 00:13:59,926
and I only got to have her
for a few days.
344
00:13:59,969 --> 00:14:01,928
I think you're being
a little overdramatic.
345
00:14:01,971 --> 00:14:04,321
And did I mention I am going
straight to hell, hmm?
346
00:14:04,365 --> 00:14:06,802
Satan is making up a garage
for the two of us right now.
347
00:14:06,846 --> 00:14:09,718
What did I do?Oh, come on.
348
00:14:10,545 --> 00:14:13,374
You found a new thing.
It was fun. You miss it.
349
00:14:13,417 --> 00:14:14,679
I do miss it.
350
00:14:14,723 --> 00:14:17,291
When I'm playing,
I-I feel in control.
351
00:14:17,334 --> 00:14:19,554
I'm so focused on the cards
and reading other people,
352
00:14:19,597 --> 00:14:21,904
everything else just falls away.
353
00:14:21,948 --> 00:14:23,645
I feel you.
354
00:14:23,688 --> 00:14:26,778
Great, let's go to Las Vegas.
355
00:14:26,822 --> 00:14:29,477
That's like a 30-hour drive.
356
00:14:29,520 --> 00:14:30,913
You sleep, I'll drive.
357
00:14:30,957 --> 00:14:33,220
No, no, hold on,
hold on, hold on.
358
00:14:33,263 --> 00:14:35,831
You can do this.
You're stronger than you think.
359
00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:37,267
No, I'm not.
360
00:14:37,311 --> 00:14:39,226
Let me show you.
361
00:14:39,269 --> 00:14:43,143
If you can actually do that,
I would be very grateful.
362
00:14:43,186 --> 00:14:44,753
Remember you said that.
363
00:14:44,796 --> 00:14:47,016
Take off your pants
and meet me in the backyard.
364
00:14:47,060 --> 00:14:48,975
Huh?
365
00:14:53,457 --> 00:14:55,807
Oh, Riley,
you look tired.
366
00:14:55,851 --> 00:14:57,766
I think we
should stop.
367
00:14:57,809 --> 00:14:59,072
If you're
making jokes,
368
00:14:59,115 --> 00:15:00,377
you're not working
hard enough.
369
00:15:00,421 --> 00:15:01,639
All you should be thinking about
370
00:15:01,683 --> 00:15:02,945
is how much this sucks.
371
00:15:02,989 --> 00:15:05,600
Oh, I'm thinking
about how much I hate you.
372
00:15:05,643 --> 00:15:07,080
You're tough.
You're strong.
373
00:15:07,123 --> 00:15:09,169
You're tough. You're strong.
You're tough. You're strong.
374
00:15:09,212 --> 00:15:10,953
Learn new words.
375
00:15:10,997 --> 00:15:12,955
If you get through
an hour of this,
376
00:15:12,999 --> 00:15:14,348
second hour
will be easier.
377
00:15:14,391 --> 00:15:16,219
Second hour?
378
00:15:18,482 --> 00:15:20,223
Okay, squats.
379
00:15:20,267 --> 00:15:22,051
Deeper.
380
00:15:22,095 --> 00:15:23,661
There it is.
381
00:15:23,705 --> 00:15:25,663
Why are you smiling
like a sociopath?
382
00:15:25,707 --> 00:15:27,622
Ooh, I live
for this, baby.
383
00:15:27,665 --> 00:15:29,580
Marines put me
through SERE school--
384
00:15:29,624 --> 00:15:32,757
survival, evasion,
resistance, escape.
385
00:15:32,801 --> 00:15:34,629
We didn't eat
for five days.
386
00:15:34,672 --> 00:15:36,544
All I could think about
was cheeseburgers.
387
00:15:36,587 --> 00:15:38,676
I even dreamed
about cheeseburgers.
388
00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:41,288
And then one
freezing cold night,
389
00:15:41,331 --> 00:15:42,680
they lined us up,
390
00:15:42,724 --> 00:15:44,813
I wasn't thinking
about cheeseburgers anymore.
391
00:15:44,856 --> 00:15:46,989
Well, what were you
thinking about?
392
00:15:47,033 --> 00:15:48,295
The hose.
393
00:15:50,688 --> 00:15:52,690
I dare you to think
about poker right now.
394
00:15:52,734 --> 00:15:54,997
Okay, thank-thank you.
I'm cured.
395
00:15:55,041 --> 00:15:56,956
Okay, now you do me.
396
00:16:02,439 --> 00:16:04,659
Hey, Grampy, they got weirder!
397
00:16:10,273 --> 00:16:12,014
Here you go.Oh, thank you.
398
00:16:12,058 --> 00:16:13,494
Yeah.
399
00:16:13,537 --> 00:16:16,018
I think you really froze
the demons out of me.
400
00:16:17,106 --> 00:16:18,586
I'm proud of you, buddy.
401
00:16:18,629 --> 00:16:20,805
I'm proud of me, too.
402
00:16:20,849 --> 00:16:23,504
Can I have more cocoa?
403
00:16:23,547 --> 00:16:25,375
Sure, pal.
404
00:16:25,419 --> 00:16:28,248
Ooh, with
whipped cream?
405
00:16:28,291 --> 00:16:30,076
Coming up, champ.
406
00:16:54,317 --> 00:16:55,840
Never had a lesson.
407
00:16:55,884 --> 00:16:58,104
So, great. Uh, for fun,
408
00:16:58,147 --> 00:17:00,454
maybe you could try
keeping a beat. Sort of, uh...
409
00:17:03,239 --> 00:17:04,936
That's what I was doing,
but okay.
410
00:17:04,980 --> 00:17:07,765
And, uh, Lizzie,
can you give me sort of a...
411
00:17:14,250 --> 00:17:15,947
Love it, love it. Okay.
412
00:17:15,991 --> 00:17:17,688
You guys ready to blow
the lid off this dump?
413
00:17:18,515 --> 00:17:21,127
I'm sorry. It's actually--
It's a lovely house.
414
00:17:21,170 --> 00:17:23,433
One, two, three, four.
415
00:17:43,323 --> 00:17:44,715
Whoo!
416
00:17:44,759 --> 00:17:47,979
Thank you, Columbus!
We are Hazel and the Old People!
28418
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