All language subtitles for Tire.pas.sur.mon.collant.1978.FRENCH.720p.BluRay.H264.AAC-DDD

DON'T PULL ON MY TIGHTS

Do you know what time it is?

According to the sun,
it's still time to sleep.

Yes but according to my boss,
it's time to move my ass.

Don't worry. In one week,
we'll be basking in the sun

- like this pretty girl.
- With what money?

With this, idiot! I'll check if I won.

- Did you win the big prize?
- Better than that, I got my money back!

It's not so bad!
See you tonight.Goodbye.

Goodbye!

Do you have 1 franc, please?

Here, it's even better.

Taxi!

- SOS, help Sir.
- What's happening?

Someone is harassing me.

Where is he?

In my office, she's my department boss.

- Are you laughing at me?
- Take me, I'm late.

Don't you think
I have other things to do?

- Repair at any time.
- Come on, get in.

Don't worry, girls, it's only me!

Look, you have some nerve.

Me? It's only 9:20am!

And we start at 9am, don't we?

Daylight saving time or standard time?

Anyway, daylight saving time
or standard time, what I notice is

that it's always the same who work.

What is that?

It's Sophie's swimsuit
that you have to try on!

A Huit swimsuit?

I'd bend over backwards to wear it.

I'll try it on
and bring it back tomorrow.

Ah, no, no way. I have to
give it back to her at noon.

But I can't try it on here!

Get inside the CEO's office,

he's with a client,
he'll only be back at 11am.

Alright. Are you coming?

Oh no, you know my conscientiousness.

I finish this case
and I'll join you, right?

OK!

Oh, Mister de Tourville. Oh sorry!

I thought you were absent.

I wouldn't have
taken the liberty to come.

Joëlle has a nice body,
don't you think?

You have never deigned
to take a look at her.

Ah, a CEO is above all that, isn't it?

Not the slightest effort.

You have to put the papers
under their nose

if you want them to consult them.

You can study

all their advantages,

draw all the more favorable conclusions
from them,

so you can grab your nice little pen

and...

sign the contract!

What do you think?

That shuts you up, right?

Better than in the movies.

Better than in Scope.

In re-lief!

And you haven't seen anything yet,

because the star
is about to come out of the screen

to sit on the lap of the viewer.

Hello!

- Hello Mrs De Tourville.
- Hello Miss.

- How are you, Mrs De Tourville?
- I'm doing great, thank you.

As elegant as always.

Don't bother, I know the way.

Very good, Mrs de Tourville.

Mr de Tourville, I don't know how
to thank you for everything.

Mr Birman,
it's quite natural with a client,

even more when it's a friend like you.

That's why I'd like your children
and their charming friends

to accept my invitation to Marrakech.

With joy.

They'll meet my daughter Muriel,

who's been very lonely
since my wife died.

It will depend on their plans,
but I will talk with my wife.

It's very fresh merchandise,
top quality!

Firm, round, appetizing,

and that would do
any multinational honor!

Isn't it, Etienne darling?

What are you doing here?

Me...

Nothing!

And who's going to be cheated on?

It's Mrs de Tourville.

Étienne!

Goodbye Mrs de Tour...

Since we got married,
it's been an everlasting honeymoon.

Remarkable!

Ah, she's actually coming.

Please allow me to...

You allow yourself way too much things,
and particularly to let your secretary

transform your office into
a nudist colony!

Hello Sir.

Well Étienne,
isn't it better than mother Piévache?

The door!

Right now, the door!

- No need to panic, Miss Piévache.
- The door!

Have you ever heard of heart attacks?

- But what are you doing?
- I'm killing moths.

But not on me!

I heard it kills
executive secretaries too.

I have the feeling
you won't be around for long.

Well, I have the feeling you will be
around for long, very long actually.

Alors ma chérie,
t'as pu essayer tranquillement?

You know, nowadays, it's very difficult
to protect your private life.

Ah, indeed.

Yes?

Yes Mr de Tourville.

I'll take my notepad Mr de Tourville.

I'll be right there Mr de Tourville!

Ah, that's you.

Note down.

Invitation by Mr Birman

for two persons,

Mamounia hotel,

Marrakech.

- Is that correct?
- Correct.

Miss?

I haven't finished.

So you didn't tell me about your hobby?

- You're dedicating to striptease?
- Me, Sir?

Of course, you, not Mr Birman!

You show off your breasts,

your thighs,
you are crazy about your body...

But this isn't
that kind of place, Miss!

For that, you should go
to the Folies Bergères.

And if your services
have become so special,

we'll do without them from now on.

You can leave and go clean out your desk
to have a clear out.

Just wait and see!

Instead of playing with dolls,
take your notepad.

Your notepad!

And write down.

Write down the name of this miss.

The last name!

Oh, I have to say everything twice!

It's only dumbbells around here!

Are you sure I'm invited too?

Of course!
It's written for two persons.

Oh, and just because you got undressed
in his office in front of him.

It's immoral.

- Not in front of him, he wasn't there!
- Wasn't he?

Well, it's not immoral then.

But his wife, she saw me
through the half-open door.

What did she say to you?

Nothing, I didn't see her.

Really? I don't understand.

Miss Piévache saw me too.

And did you see her?

Well yes, since she was in the office.

Well, it's like I said then,
it's immoral. Come on.

Béatrice! Béatrice!

Say, this is a nice suitcase.

Linda, who works for Vuitton,
got it for me.

I'll explain later why.
Come on, hurry up.

But we're not late.

- Yes, but I don't want to get noticed.
- Why?

You heard what the manager
of Air Maroc said?

He thought that the tickets were for
de Tourville's daughter and her friend.

So what?

So I think there was
a problem of delivery.

Which means?

That the tickets were not for me.

Hence the Vuitton suitcase,
to pretend I'm a CEO daughter.

So no crazy.

No. Will you behave too?

Of course, I won't leave Paris,
I won't even go golfing.

Well. Have a safe trip.

I'll tell you, the fact we are
the ones to enjoy it cheers me up.

Maybe, but still, for Mr Birman,
the client who's inviting,

I absolutely need to pretend
I'm de Tourville's daughter.

Miss... de Tourville, probably.

- That's right. Hello!
- Nice to meet you.

This is my daughter, Muriel.

- Hello!
- Nice to meet you, Miss.

Call me Joëlle.

Really? Joëlle? Your name is Joëlle?

Yes, and this is my friend, Béatrice.

Béatrice?

- Hello.
- Hello, nice to meet you.

I hope you'll enjoy your stay while
waiting for your brother's arrival.

My brother?

You have a brother?

What's happening?

Nothing, nothing, a little pain
that's coming like that.

I hope it's not too serious.

No, no. But it always
foretells some troubles.

Don't worry. With the sun, here,
everything gets better.

Come.

Oh, you know what I'm thinking of?

- No?
- Our friends.

- Why?
- I would love for them to see us!

And the son of the butcher!

It must be a change of scenery for you.

Oh yes, this has nothing to do
with Montmartre.

Ah, I thought you lived in Passy.

Ah, actually, Montmartre for us was
already such a change of scenery.

So here...

- Oh, what is it?
- The Kutubiyya Mosque,

one of the most famous mosques,

and from the top of which
the muezzin sings every three hours

to call the believers to prayer.

Elvis would be eaten up with jealousy!

- These doors are so beautiful!
- Yes!

Yes. Miss Piévache would be very happy.

One of your friend, I guess?

Not exactly,

but she loves doors so much

she always want
people to walk through them.

- It's so silent.
- In Paris, you can't hear anything.

- What?
- In Paris, you can't hear anything.

- What?
- In Paris, you can't hear anything!

I put you up in the left wing,
with a view on the palm grove.

We don't have a view on the sea?

We are in Morocco, honey!

- There is no sea in Morocco?
- Yes, all around!

You see, there is a sea!

And on this side,
1200 kilometers of sand.

Nice beach, right!

Ah! This is Olivier

who, while studying to be a gym teacher,

is in charge of the swimming pool,
where he reigns supreme.

Swimmer!

- Nice to meet you!
- Hello!

The weather is good today!

I'll take care of your suitcases.

Oh, you're nice, they stay in room 202.

Room 202, let's go.

See you later. Are you coming Muriel?

You see, in Marrakech, there is no sea!

Then why is there a beach?

Come...

Come have a look,
it's even bigger outside!

- I'll open it for you.
- It's not necessary, thank you Olivier.

- What's happening?
- Oh nothing.

I see you'll have anything you need
during your stay. A bit special,

- but you'll have anything you need.
- but you'll have anything you need!

What an idiot, what got into him?

Who gave you all that?

That's not mine!
Those are not my things.

What happened to me?

I get it. While we were talking in Orly,

I notice a tall red-headed girl who had
the same suitcase as you,

she put it next to yours.

What am I going to do?

Well, we'll drop it back in Orly
when we are back.

And in the meantime?

We'll pose for the La Redoute catalog!

Oh, you think there are girls
who wear things like that?

I guess she worked
at the Crazy Horse saloon.

Anyway, that doesn't allow that guy
to search my suitcase.

Oh, he opened it by accident.

This is the kind of guy
who opens it by accident...

Look, why don't we just stop
talking to him?

Good idea.

The weather is good today!

You are our sun, Olivier.

See you later.

You've seen this guy,
who does he think he is?

James Bond 007!

Well, me, you know, heroes,
I shove them up...

Oh, you spoil him!

The weather is good today!

Always witty, Olivier.

Careful, here he comes, no weakness.

Trust me, with this kind of guy,
even on a desert island...

You wouldn't stay a virgin!

Silly you!

- The weather is good today!
- Say, we hadn't noticed!

Would you mind doing that
somewhere else?

You're hiding the sun.

He's so stupid!

All muscles.

Laurent too, which doesn't keep him
from being sensitive and intelligent.

Who is Laurent?

Another activity leader.

With whom you're in love?

He doesn't even look at me.

I'm sure of the contrary.

- But Joëlle will teach you.
- What?

- To make people look at you.
- Hey, say, you!

And if it doesn't work, she'll lend you
what's in her suitcase.

What's in her suitcase?

The rudiments of the perfect handywoman.

Nonsense!

- Lobster, awesome!
- Oh, I have never tasted it...

- in Marrakech.
- My favorite dish.

It's always his favorite dish.

I'm pleased, twice pleased.

Because not only
Mr Bichope is my friend,

but he's also a great golf champion.

Well, I don't drive too bad,

I can play!

In golf,

there is no doubt that the first hole
is the most important.

Without it, no game is possible!

You never start with the second one!

So you have to make one quick shot,

and most of all, you must not put the
ball in the hole on your first attempt.

No, no, no, no!

Influencing your opponent,

scaring him, but not demoralizing him.

So...

you have to know
how to control yourself,

master your skill,

your dexterity,

and I can assure you
I'm really good at it!

I quibble, I move around,

and suddenly...

You have a beautiful scarf.

- Thanks, it's from London.
- It's very vintage.

It's the charm of England.

Look, it's made of silk, it's very...

And if you get a stain on it,
it's easy to clean?

In London, yes.

...your impatience will pay off.

And you're wondering, how can he
have such a hard personality?

Him, such an elegant, sensitive man!

I reached the point
where my opponents...

...so I don't reveal my stratagem.

But I won't shed too much light
on the situation.

Oh, sorry!

I'm sorry.

I showered up.

And suddenly...

...not the cowards...

...all the sports I played,

and I can assure you
it taught me a lot for golf.

I know what you'll say,
it's not the same in golf,

it's not the same in rugby!
The rugby ball is oval,

it's easier to block it, it's bigger!

But for two teams of fifteen players,
which means thirty players,

there's only one ball! Whereas in
golf, each player has its own ball.

Each player is calm, they respect
each other. A ball for himself!

What can I say, it's not my fault.

I get carried away by my quick thinking,

equivalent to my player dexterity,
what can I say?

So, we go back to the second hole.

But where did they go?

Thank you.

What are you looking at?

The kid from yesterday.

Here, look, James Bond
found a new victim.

Come on, come on, come on,
higher, higher, higher!

You know what's good is that
in a swimsuit everybody looks the same.

CEO or not,
they all get yelled at by Olivier.

Come on, go ahead!

One, two, one, two, one, two!

Harder. More energy!

And his secretaries, who don't even
know they are avenged.

Abolition, from now on, of any premium!

Abolition of any whiskey
until further notice.

Otherwise, you're fired!

Otherwise, watch out
for the heart attack!

Come on, go further.
And pull that stomach in. Come on!

I have an idea.

How are you? Can I play with it?

No, non no! Papa!

It's mine!

You're making sandcastles this morning?

The weather is nice today!

And the sun...

Ah, you see it's not the moon!

Well, no, it's the sun.

Well, did you spend a good night?

Excellent, after such an evening!

Have you seen Olivier?
He's not so great this morning!

How quiet is Muriel!

Yes, she doesn't easily make friends.

- We'll take care of her, right?
- Yes!

I would be grateful for that.

Here.

Those are your cards,
for your favorite sport.

- Which one?
- Golf!

- Golf?
- Well, golf, are you deaf?

Well, I might be deaf,
but regarding golf...

Regarding golf, you'll be able
to practice this afternoon.

- Precisely, regarding golf...
- You'll be able to play this afternoon.

We have to tell you everything twice!

Oh, say!

I brought you my two young champions.

Sure, sure!

And take care,
they'll give you a hard time.

- Don't try to teach your grandma...
- ...To suck eggs!

We'll take care of them, don't worry.

- Precisely, I would have liked...
- Don't worry!

Are you coming, champion?

- Enjoy your game!
- Yes, don't worry.

- I'll come and pick you up later.
- OK, goodbye!

What disability do you have?

Disability, disability?

Do we look like we are disabled?

And what club?

What club?

The club of Marrakech!

We are spoiled...

What will I give them?

Here, here,

take this club.

Well...

Here.

Unbelievable!

But where do you come from?

Come on!

Don't be afraid.

A quick shot, huh, a quick shot!

- Like that?
- Yes!

You got it!

Yes, but the ball is still here!

No, the ball went off!

Charming and dexterous.

Hello Sir.

Charming here too!

- Me! Me!
- No, no, no!

- It's my turn to hit.
- That's it, hit, hit, we'll catch you.

Come on!

Na!

Here!

Come on.

- A little to the right!
- Don't worry!

Come on.

Come on!

My turn now, mine, mine!

That wasn't that bad.

I got it, I got it!

- Are you coming?
- No, I'll keep on hitting.

Hey, Béatrice!

Don't you want this one?
This one is bigger.

Never mind.

Have you seen our ball?

Yes, very closely.

Thanks for blocking it.

Look, look, she's going to hit.

Look, I only have one eye left,
I'd rather keep it.

Hey, the ball!

Keep your ball, and I'll keep my eye.

Go ahead Béa!

- You just arrived?
- Yes, in Marrakech. With my friend Béa.

Are you coming Béa?

Charming, but clumsy.

- My turn!
- Here, Béa, go ahead.

- Step aside.
- Alright.

Come on!

Olé!

Oh, look, Béa, in the hole
on your first attempt!

- It even made her blush!
- Yes, she's mature.

Can you give me some?

Well, did you enjoy your game?

What do you think of my champions?

You were right,
we should have been careful.

But... you have something in the eye!

- Let me look.
- Thanks, thanks.

I had something, but by miracle,
it went out.

The eye stayed.

You surprised them, I see!

- We did pretty good!
- For a first time.

A first time?

- On the golf of Marrakech!
- Yes!

- Of Marrakech?
- Yes!

I think we caught their eye!

Charming, but not free.

Was golf hard?

Well, for the others, yes.

Well, for the others, yes.

We had so much success!

Well deserved, I'm sure.

Anyway, they were lucky,
because here, we missed you a lot.

- Really?
- Already?

Laurent, I was looking for you,
it's time for my lesson.

Well, excuse me,

duty calls me. See you.

Muriel!

Who's that?

Laurent.

Why are you always alone?

Because I don't know anybody.

You should have come with us.

At the golf club,
we met a lot of people.

She doesn't need that,
she knows everybody here.

Oh, everybody or nobody,
it's the same thing.

Ah, I understand.

You miss only one person,
and it's like you're alone in the world.

What does it mean?

You miss only one Laurent, and it's like
you're alone in the club.

Oh, you're silly.

- That's true. You are really silly!
- No, I guessed right, she's crying.

You have to help her seduce her Laurent.

Don't talk about him.

He's a rude person who only cares
about flirting with all the women.

- All the women, but you.
- Oh, Béatrice, enough!

Look, Muriel,

you know, men are not very smart.

So you have to show them everything.

That's why you see signs with
"warning" written everywhere,

or they would fall in all the traps.

Well, in love, it's the same thing.

- You have to put a sign?
- Almost.

For instance, when you see him,
what do you do?

He intimidates me, so I look at my feet.

Oh! Not at all!
That's not what you must do.

You must look at him,
straight in the eyes,

in a mysterious way.

How?

Like that.

And you slightly squint your eyes.

But I will fall flat on my face!

Béatrice and I will show you.

Got it?

Well, your turn now, go ahead.

That's almost it, but try,
it works every time.

You really think it will work?

Listen to Joëlle, she's great.

In the neighborhood, who got the son
of the butcher who is stupid as can be?

She did! Come on, be brave.

- What if it doesn't work?
- We'll find something else.

Ah, yes, for instance...

When you are alone at
the swimming pool with him,

pretend you're drowning, he'll rescue
you and give you mouth-to-mouth.

- That's disgusting!
- You have too much preconceived ideas.

Among all the things
we think are disgusting,

that's the one
you get used to very fast.

See you later.

Be brave!

But what do you have in the eye?

Do you want some eyewash?

After such a disastrous quarter,
there's no way I spend a fortune

to bring Jean-Pierre to the
winter sports to meet his sister.

He will go to Marrakech
at my friend Birman's place.

You know, Morocco must be really nice.

I don't care.

What I want is see Amélie again.

She is awfully nice, too.
Especially in bed.

- And where is she?
- She went to the snow, with my sister.

I don't understand why her sister
didn't go with her friend Amélie.

Morocco. It's wonderful.

When I was their age, I spent my holidays
in Auvergne, at my grandparents'.

What?

In a castle, maybe,
but it was still in Auvergne!

Here, the tickets. And the invitations.
Look what I do with them.

Stop!

What...

It's still nicer to go to Morocco

rather than to stay
in the 18ème arrondissement.

Can you give it to me?

Can you?

Hey, say, they will notice
I'm not Jean-Pierre de Tourville.

They don't know me.

You will be Guillaume de Tourville,
and that's all.

That's crazy, 18 holes.

Oh, that can only be moths.
It happened to me last year.

I'm talking about the golf course.

Ah, 18 holes!

Ah yes, that's way too much!

Or there should be more balls.

You have seen them all,
in this club? They never stop.

It seems like we are at Renault!

It's a never-ending sports!

Ah, I must say that
after such a program,

the nights are really quiet.

- Everybody is worn out.
- Yes, well, me too, I sleep.

Joëlle?

What?

Can you hear that?

What?

Listen.

Well, some people still have
some energy left to love each other.

You think?

They spend their last strength
to make love.

Joëlle?

What?

It disturbs me to hear them.

Will it go all night?

Innocent!

Why?

Because unless that's a wedding night
or a championship,

in half an hour it will be over.

So let's suffer in silence.

As you say!

That's not possible!

But don't pay attention to it!

How come we only hear him?

Ah, that's like in life,

men are always the ones
who scream louder.

Oh, I will wear it one day.

What are you doing?

Well, I couldn't sleep, I got the idea
to look in the girl's suitcase.

Ah I see, the causal relationship.

Good idea. Let's dress up!

- Yes! Here!
- Which one?

Ah, great!

Hurry up. We're having fun!

I can't!

So?

Play some music.

- It looks porn.
- Yes!

Help! Help!

- Laurent?
- Yes?

A towel, please.

You already have one.

- Ah, yes, that's right.
- It's okay.

Help! Help!

- Laurent?
- Yes?

Laurent?
Do I have enough cream on my back?

- Yes, yes, alright, very good.
- Thank you.

Help!

Laurent?

Come here...

Is my hair OK?

- Yes, yes, very good, perfect.
- Help!

Help!

Laurent?

Yes?

Help!

She's drowning!

Béa?

Béatrice?

Are you sleeping?

Yes...

I didn't sleep all night.

Neither did they.

I will change rooms this morning.

Ah, it's not everyday
you meet a stallion.

I'd be curious to meet him in the flesh.

Well, I'll get up now I'm awake.

Joëlle!

Come!

Your stallion is here.
Superman in all its splendor!

Listen!

I can't believe it,
they're not doing it again!

Take a look!

Oh, what a pain!

I didn't sleep all night.

I really gave myself too much.

We noticed!

I pretended so well
I almost drowned for real.

And he jumped to rescue you?

- Yes...
- Well, you see, it worked!

And mouth-to-mouth?

I guess he didn't know how to do it
because he gave me slaps instead.

No, no, no!

Hey, look, the little girls' persecutor.

Oh, poor man, he doesn't seem well.

Well, you see,
some men look like nothing,

but they can disturb all night long
the candid soul of two young girls.

I hate this Laurent more and more.

But you'll get what you want, I know it.

- Oh, but I'll never know how!
- I tell you Joëlle will teach you.

Well, you steal
little girls' buckets now?

I have an idea for this morning.

Don't you get your clothes off today?

I'll do. But I was waiting
to get some inspiration.

Well, well...

Here it comes.

The weather is nice today!

I don't think so.

- Ah?
- I see like a... little cloud.

Where?

Above your head.

I must be blind.

Well... I'll go take my clothes off.

You see there was a tiny cloud
above your head this morning.

It even burst.

It calmed him down.

Poor guy, he looks like a wet chicken.

Exactly!

That's what my grandma used to do
to her hens when they were brooding.

Yes? But it wasn't the head
that she soaked in water.

- For the rest, wait until tomorrow.
- For real?

For real!

- What will you do, he'll be suspicious.
- Trust me.

You must always trust.

Here is wonderful news:

- your brother just arrived.
- What brother?

Well, the one and only, I think.

The charming Guillaume de Tourville.

Ah, Guillaume has arrived!

And where is he?

He went to his room.
He'll come back to say hello to you.

Are you coming, Muriel?

In his honor, I invite all of you

to a Moroccan
dance demonstration tonight.

It's a very typical place, you'll see.

- Thank you. See you later.
- See you later.

Say, you think it's really
on James Bond's head

that the clouds
were gathering this morning?

Don't you worry for your friend Joëlle,

I have a nose for
this kind of things and I'm sure

I'll identify my brother from far away.

What if he's a fake brother
and he tells on us?

What about our seduction, honey?

You don't trust our seduction enough.

Oh, sorry. I forgot!

Look, here he is!

That's funny, he has never seen me
and yet he recognizes me.

- I go?
- Good luck.

Hey, I'm coming!

Guillaume?

But you're not...

Say, you always meet friends!

I... I swear!

We'll talk about this at home.

- I swear!
- Come, come, come...

What can you do
when you lose your nose?

Anyway, he wasn't bad.

And his boyfriend
really didn't like that.

You're looking for somebody?

Yes, I'm Guillaume de Tourville,
and I'm looking for my sister.

Joëlle? She is just there, in front
of you, with her friend Béatrice.

I'm silly. Thank you.

Hello Joëlle!

She is Joëlle. I am Béatrice,
your sister's friend.

Please, don't tell anybody,
I'm your sister.

Please, don't tell anybody,
I'm your brother.

You are touching!

We should get up and dance with her.

Well, go ahead.
I'm sure you'll be successful.

I'm dying to do it, but compared to her,
I'll be ridiculous.

If you want, you'll do that
at the club one night.

- Alright!
- Alright!

But if you lose, you offer champagne.

- Right!
- Right!

What a shame you're my sister.

Well, I am delighted
that you're my brother.

- I say that because I like you a lot.
- I had understood.

Ah, well then why are you delighted
I'm your brother? You don't like me?

Wise guy!

Incest. Have you ever heard of it?

Come on, darling,
let's show them our act.

What are you doing?

Oh, sorry.

I thought you were your sister.

My friends, tomorrow night at the club,

Béatrice will perform
a belly dance demonstration.

- Bravo Béa.
- That's wonderful!

- But I never said that!
- You bet.

Well, OK. But you too.

Tonight, Béa, you'll surpass yourself.

If you make me nervous, I'll do nothing.

You'll make everybody shiver
with delight at the club.

I envy you!

Why don't you go with her?

- Would you dare?
- Yes!

- Yes!
- OK!

Hey, Muriel, here comes your Laurent.

Why my Laurent?

Because he will soon be.

Just because the first pieces of advice
given by Joëlle didn't work

doesn't mean you won't get him.

I don't want pieces of advice anymore.

Ahah! Has it become unnecessary?

Is there something fishy going on?

Has the handsome and mysterious man
revealed his love

to the pure young girl?

You'll know it
by reading the next chapter.

And that's how girls got a mind.

Here comes Olivier.

Why do you say that?

Young girl, yesterday you promised
to do to him

what your grandma did to her hens.

- I hadn't forgotten at all.
- Ah, ah!

The weather is nice today!

Olivier. What about making peace?

You are the one who always seem
to have something against me.

Innocent young man!

You haven't understood?

Understood what?

That when a girl wants to show her
interest to a boy,

she teases him a lot.

- You think?
- Of course.

Here, I write your name for the first
dance tonight on my waltzing notebook.

I can't dance.

So you'll have the second one!

And to make peace, you'll let me take
a nice picture of you?

As a souvenir?

Come!

- Do you know Guillaume?
- Yes, yes, of course.

- Hello.
- Hello.

I'll be right back.

Stand straight.

Bravo!

Stick out your chest.

Like that.

When I'll show the picture, I want all
my girlfriends in the 16th arrondissement

to die of jealousy.

Wait, that's perfect.

Ah, no!

I want a better smile. "Cheese",

like the cover girls say.

Here, that's perfect.

Béa, please,

your comb and your mirror,
Olivier has an unruly lock.

Perfect.

How stupid!
I was cutting your legs out.

Take a few steps back.

Olivier!

A little more.

Again, a little more...

Here, that's perfect!

You see, Béa,

my grandma, with her hens,
she used to do the same thing.

You could help me get out of it.

Here. Lame ducks always need help.

Look, Béatrice, how Joëlle is, well,

my grandma was exactly
the same with her hens.

Well, it seems to go smoothly
for your brother.

With my Jag',

I can assure you it wouldn't take
me long to go to Ouarzazate.

But we're not going that far
this afternoon,

we'll just show
the palm grove to the girls,

our bikes will be enough.

Which engine size?

Well, 125cc.

Me and my 750,

I can assure you it wouldn't be long
until I leave everybody behind.

I'm pretty good when it comes to bikes.

Here is the vehicle you asked me for,

young champion!

- Thanks, Mr Birman.
- You're welcome.

It's a new model?

I hope you filled the tank.

Carry on, anyway, I'll be first.

No but I said that because
I can't see your tank.

The boar! The boar!

It's not a boar, it's rather a pig!

A hunting trophy!

Ouarzazate is still a long way
for you, I tell you.

Carry on, carry on,
anyway I'll be first.

- Aren't you tired?
- I'm tireless.

- Go ahead, girls, let's hit the road.
- Oh yes!

Ah shit! I have a flat tire.

Well, Guillaume,
some mechanical problem?

Yes, I have a flat tire.

I'm taking Muriel to her friends.

- You want to come?
- Yes.

- Is it open in the back?
- Yes, yes, put it in the back.

Is it tied up?

OK!

Bastard!

Bastard!

Oh, there's a snake here!

You speak bullshit!

Are you crazy? What's wrong with you?

- Stop!
- What?

Look!

- What's happening to him?
- Here!

A scorpion.

- Come have a look.
- What?

There, it's the beginning of the desert.

I like to look at the desert
like a sailor look at the sea.

- Alright, alright!
- It feels less alive.

My eye, it's more fascinating,
on the contrary.

The colors change all the time.

Hey, say, my father
made war in this desert.

Well, and he got lost in this desert.

- Did he see mirages?
- Exactly.

And did he see veiled women?

My father saw oases, camels,
and water sources.

Maybe he saw a handsome tuareg
on his desert horse.

You're daydreaming!

She's daydreaming!

Oh, look!

You see, your handsome tuareg
is here, look!

- Is that a mirage?
- Of course!

Then I can go and kiss him,
like the adventurer in an old movie?

Yes, of course, go ahead!

Come on! Go ahead!

Cut! Cut!

Who's that idiot that appeared
on my shot?

Shit!

What are you looking at?

The girl...

And why are you looking at her?

Because she's drinking milk.

Ah yes, that's very rare,
somebody drinking milk.

Aren't you done?

It's really funny,
how much milk she can drink.

And in her room, does she drink milk?

If you're talking about last night,
then you're completely mistaken,

because I was looking for Mr. Birman.

Ah yes, even in the swimming pool?

Ah, here he comes.

Would you be kind enough
to apply cream on my body?

But of course.

It must be so soft to the touch,
a girl who drinks milk.

In front, too?

A little.

You like that, big breasts?

Yuk, I hate that, that's vulgar.

And boys, you think they like that?

The weirdos like Olivier, maybe,

but not the others, I assure you.

Do you think milk
makes your breasts grow?

I don't care!

What are you looking for?

Oh, nothing, a magazine,
an article I was interested in.

About what?

I can't remember.

Are you coming to dance tonight?

I don't think so,
I'd rather go for a walk.

You don't come to see
Béatrice play her act?

Oh yes, I might come.
But I'll take a walk before.

- On your own?
- Yes.

You want to come?

Well... Maybe. If it doesn't bother you.

No. If you stay silent.

I won't say a thing. See you tonight.

Where do we meet?

There, near the tall palm tree.

Alright.

The scenery of this night club,
in front of the old palace,

must get you
into peak condition, Béatrice.

Oh, we wandered this afternoon
in the maze of the medina.

The bright-colored skeins
drying in the sun.

The gleaming brass,

the notes of Arabic music
encouraged us to dance.

She bought the Michelin guide
this afternoon!

We even bought clothes for this evening.

- Why aren't you wearing them now?
- For the surprise effect.

When we'll do our act.

I will dance too.

You really know how to belly dance?

- Yes, I learned with the fish.
- What fish?

The ones in the pond
at the back of the garden.

There are no fish in the pond.

Yes, I even try to catch them
every morning.

They slip through my fingers.

Nice!

Tomorrow we'll go fishing with you.

You really know how to belly dance?

And them, they know?

No, and that's what's funny.

- And Muriel?
- She will come, but...

she's so unpredictable.

- What were you doing?
- I'm going to bed.

You're silly, we're going to do our act.

Come on, help us get dressed up.

- Where have you been?
- I was helping them get dressed up.

Ah, I prefer that, I thought you were
alone in your room, daydreaming.

I want you to be young and happy
like your dad.

Come and dance with us.

- What are you drinking?
- A mint lemonade.

Oh, cut the act, you're drinking milk.

Oh, well...

I hadn't noticed!

- Hello!
- Hello!

What a pair of boobs
she has, this chick.

Yes, and lucky that you passed by
her side and leaned over her,

- or you wouldn't have even noticed.
- Oh, for what I care!

I have seen bigger ones!

Well, I didn't know you attended shows.

What shows?

Agricultural shows, honey.

Hello.

Would you be kind enough
to fill my glass?

- Yes, with what?
- Milk.

Here, look at your little bother
barging in.

Oh, say, you look upset.

- Is it because Muriel isn't here?
- I don't care about Muriel.

Oh, you're not doing it again.
It'll only last one summer!

Thanks. You deserved to taste it.

Now, I'll know your thoughts.

Oh, have you seen this idiot?

Taking himself for
a Parisian dairy wasn't enough,

now he suckles too.

Oh, I can't believe it, you too.

Can I?

You do that for your breast?

Hey, I don't need that!

- Here is the proof.
- Rude!

A little drop, for her cat...

Oh shit, my lesson!

You too drink milk?

Yes, it's trendy.

I don't know exactly why

but for a few days,
everybody has been drinking milk.

Are you sure there are fish?

I touch them every day.

Mister Birman says there are no fish.

But since she tells you there are!

Yes, she may touch them,
but she never caught any.

It's not easy. They slip through
your fingers by belly dancing.

Like you last night.

What is that?

Eels.

Great.

Not bad.

Wow, they are really great.

You can't be good at everything.

- You're pretty good at riding a bike.
- Oh, don't laugh at me.

You even kill your ride under you.

Well, you don't know how right you are.

Ah because you're a horserider, too?

Yes, a little.

And did you take part in horse shows?

Epic shows!
They even raised the bars for me.

- They even emptied the rivers.
- Why?

So you wouldn't have
to use a rubber ring.

My friend,
I tamed many nags like this, yes!

Even the ones of this fantasia?

A little, yes,
but French style, you know.

With gentleness, dexterity.

Well, I admire you.

And we would be glad
to have a little demonstration.

Any time in Paris, yes.

Why not here?

- Why, is there a riding arena here?
- Of course!

And who's going to impress
his little friends tomorrow?

- Well? Who?
- Will it be me?

They must be nervous?

A little. Healthy thoroughbred.

Are they all healthy?

Why do you ask that?

No, because sometimes, some are
a little more sickly, fragile.

Ah, I see, like our poor Méchoui.

- Which one is it?
- The gray one there.

Look, if you agree,

tomorrow at 8am,
I'll take him on a ride.

Well, alright.

- Thank you very much. Good evening Sir.
- Goodbye.

- Hello Sir!
- Hello!

Hello Misses.

- Do you want a horse?
- Yes, a wild one.

- Nervous, wild.
- A magnificent beast, in other words.

- It's for you?
- Ah no, no!

It's not for this young girls?

Oh no, that's for a friend. From Paris.

Yes, he wants it tomorrow at 8am.

Ah, a tall brown man?

Yes!

He came but he's interested in Méchoui.

Is Méchoui a wild one?

Oh, not exactly, he's sickly, very calm.

Ah, I see. Once again,
he wanted to sacrifice himself.

Oh yes. He loves horses so much

that when he sees a disadvantaged one
he wants to take care of it.

When he only loves wild and nasty ones.

I knew he was a nice guy.

I have an idea!

Why don't you give him one
the same color as Méchoui,

but hard to ride.

Perfect. That way he'll be satisfied
as a horserider

but he will still have the feeling
he has done a good deed.

He has a heart of gold!

- OK, see you tomorrow.
- See you tomorrow.

See you tomorrow.

Come Méchoui. What's wrong, Méchoui?
Come on.

Well, Méchoui?
He doesn't seem to know his name.

It depends on the day.

With my usual luck,

I must have chosen a bad day.

Come on, Méchoui,

I'm sweet, calm and obedient.

You too, I hope.

Come on, my little Méchoui.

Let's go!

Why does this guy
keep calling me Méchoui?

Watch out, my friends, it will go fast!

Here it goes!

Hey, look, he rides like a gaucho.

Ah, he has a good seat.

And yet, this morning,
he wasn't feeling too good.

But in the end, he's a real jockey.

Oh shit!

Stop messing around!

Say, Olivier, are you teaching this man
how to swim

or are you training him to join
the commandant Cousteau's team?

Enough for this morning,
I drank enough water.

I'll have a nice little Martini.

- You're already leaving?
- Yes.

The whole of Paris is asking for us,
and we owe them.

Yes, the whole of Paris my ass.

Oh, Béa!

Oh, sorry, but pretty much
what it sounds like.

You're right, Béatrice.

Tonight, you all come to the villa
for the farewell dinner.

Tonight? But I thought you were
invited at Mister Bichope?

Well, I'll have all of you invited.

The more, the merrier,
and he's a wonderful host.

Oh, he'll spend the whole dinner
giving us a lecture on golf again.

Ah, Mister Bichope is the man
from the other night

who kept talking about golf?

And, above all, on who you took
revenge by hurting his eye with a ball.

Yes, but for the last dinner,
he'll monopolize the conversation.

I promise you he won't.

So you swear that if he says only once
the word golf, you do a courageous act.

I swear.

Only, of course,
if nobody says it before him.

We swear we won't say
the word golf, not even once.

Perfect!

Muriel, why did you say courageous act?

I know dad, he's capable of everything
when you challenge him to do something,

and his reactions are always extreme.

I'm sure that if this Mister Bichope
pronounces only once the word golf,

dad will do something extraordinary.

Well, have you heard, my children?

We'll have to do all we can
do so Mister Bichope

pronounces the word golf at least once.

We'll have to ask him: "How is
golf doing, Mister Bichope?".

Congrats,
you have made progress Olivier...

But didn't you hear
we can't say the word golf?

- Oh but how will we do?
- That's the point, smart guy.

To our young friends!

To our young friends, of whom I'll keep
a nice memory.

I mean it, I say it with love.

Cheers.

- Mister Bichope, cheers!
- Cheers!

You're not mad anymore?

- Ah, one stray ball...
- ...ten other found!

During wartime,
it would have been worse,

and in sports, this constitutes
inherent risks of the game.

- Isn't' it?
- Bien sûr.

It had never happened to you?

Yes, when I was young,
and I was lifting weights and dumbbells.

Oh, you received a dumbbell
in the eye, Mister Bichope?

No, on the foot,
and I can assure you that's painful.

My friends,

I'd like to raise my glass to...

I thank you for your thoughtfulness,
but my foot healed a long time ago.

Thank god!

I wanted to say that I raise my glass to
a victory that seems very close to me.

- No!
- Excuse me, a sporting victory?

I don't like talking about sports.

And I am fascinated by
Mister Bichope achievements.

- He tells them so well.
- Especially sports including balls.

Ah, you're teasing me, Miss.

But I was pretty good at tennis, too.

It's less dangerous!

Although one day, during a game,
on the court,

an idiot threw a banana skin

and as I took
a few steps back, I twisted...

- Your foot!
- No!

My wrist. And believe me,
that's very painful too.

Especially on a hard floor.

Whereas sports that can be played
on a lawn like...

Croquet!

But you won't believe me if I tell you
I stuck my foot under a hoop.

Oh, but it's large, though?

Well, Béa, maybe it was the day after

Mister Bichope took
his dumbbell on his foot!

I tripped over it
and fell on my mallet!

Like the other day, with my club!

The club, the club...

In 1960, I was in a sailing club.

One day, in the Gulf of Lion...

- Where?
- In the Gulf of Lion.

He said it, he said it!

Yes, we won!

He said golf! We won!

- He said the Gulf, not the golf!
- Yes!

Ah, yes, yes, yes,
it was in the Gulf of Lion.

He says it again!

You're not interested
in my golf stories.

We are, precisely.

And since we're talking about golf,

I would love to hear a champion like you
give advice to the neophytes we are.

What piece of advice?

The exact part of the ball
you have to hit with the club

to send it to the wanted location.

Oh well, it depends on where you are
and where is the hole you want to reach.

For instance...

let's imagine
this little choux bun is the ball,

the spoon is my club,

if I want to put it...

on the compote dish
which is on the dessert trolley,

where must I hit?

The compote dish, wait, wait...

Here. The bottom left.

Perfect. You got it!

The painting on the wall.

Well, in the middle.

Under the center of gravity of the ball.

Oh, that's wonderful for a beginner!

On the window?

The bottom left.

- And the console table?
- The console table, wait...

Wait...

In the middle, right side.

Here, honey.

I'm sorry, you must forgive me,
I got caught up in the game.

I'm sorry, really.

I'm terribly sorry.

Since we had no more choux buns,

the chocolate cream
would have been unnecessary.

- Good evening, Mrs.
- It's getting cold tonight.

Oh, sorry, good evening Sir.

Well, see you my friends.

- You're already going upstairs?
- Yes.

I'm worn out
and I have to pack up my bags.

- Béa, you don't stay?
- I'll go help Joëlle.

Come on, let's have one last dance.

Dance? Our meeting will have
done you good, after all.

What?

Don't bother explaining it,
there's nothing we can do about that.

Regarding dancing, idiot.
See you later, I'm going.

See you later.

Will you come and have a drink?

- What about going to dance?
- Later.

I want to walk a little.

You don't come?

Well OK.

And now, I go to bed.

- You don't go downstairs?
- No.

I want to be alone.

I'm tired of being locked up.

Ah, I see. You'd like to be alone,
but with someone.

Well done, Nostradamus!

But what happens to you?
You're putting tights on?

Yes.

You're crazy! With this heat
and your tanned legs.

I peel like an orange. It makes my skin
looks like crocodile skin.

So what?

So under the tights,
you can't notice it.

Ah... OK.

- Don't you want me to stay?
- No.

You wanted to be with someone.

Yes. But someone of the opposite gender.

You're feeling blue?

That's it.

I need a man.

If you find me a young, beautiful
and manly one, you send it to me?

Even James Bond.

You see how desperate I am?

Alright.
I'll try to bring you that back.

What's happening?

I want to kiss you.

Just like that?

Yes but I've wanted it for a long time.

You never told me.

You don't tell it, you do it.

Without telling it?

We still want it, both of us.

Both of us?

I didn't know.

Your skin is like a peach.

I don't like peaches.

- You don't like it?
- Yes.

You don't want?

Yes, but later.

Why later?

We are good, it's nighttime,
we are alone,

with music in the background.
Nothing can disturb us anymore.

Yes.

What?

My piece of gum.

Well, throw it away.

- I don't smell too much mint?
- No.

What's on your mind?

How can you remove gum on velvet?

What's wrong?

Returning home makes me feel blue.

You'll get back to your Jaguar,
your friends.

Yes, but I won't see Joëlle anymore.

- You don't live with your family?
- Yes, of course.

You must have a girlfriend.

What's wrong with Joëlle,
she didn't want to come downstairs?

I don't know.

You know, you shouldn't stick
to your family like that.

But I can't live without Joëlle.

Of course. It's touching,
this affection for your sister.

I don't want to make you sad,
but I don't find it that normal.

- What is normal?
- For instance, me and Béatrice.

- Because she's not your sister?
- Yes, maybe.

If that's what you think, old pal...

Hey, are you old? Come on.

Come and dance!

- You know I worry about him.
- Why?

- He's in love with Joëlle.
- So what?

- It's her sister!
- Oh, nobody's perfect!

It smells good, don't you think?

It always smells like that.

I hadn't noticed.

Because you were not with me.

I'm sure of that.

Don't you want to go for a walk?

You wanted one last dance!

I'd like for us to be alone.

We are never more alone
than when surrounded by others.

They say that, they say that...

Say, Guillaume won't get bored tonight!

Why?

- He's dancing with his brother.
- But he doesn't have a brother.

Oh, you can't have everything.

Come on, let's go!

- Where?
- On our walk.

Yes, but I'll check Joëlle first.

OK!

My love.

Swear they'll never be
another man between us.

I swear.

Give me some air, please.

You are really nice.

You know how to talk to women.

Oh, but you're not a woman.

Better and better.
But I think you're right.

It's a woman you need.

And there is one in the room who
happens to be in the same energy as you.

Olé!

My leg! My leg!

Who was that?

Olivier,
you asked me to take him to you.

He didn't stay long.

I made him a sign but he didn't stop.

Did he hurt himself?

No, but he disturbed Laurent and Muriel
who are definitely not lucky.

I'll check if he's OK.

Don't bring it back.

I don't want anyone anymore.

You didn't break anything?

I don't understand what happened.

I guess the lock of the door
just popped open.

You must be right.

Everything happened so fast.

My leg hurts!

- Can you help me?
- Yes, of course.

Can you help me get to my room?

Oh, I see. And put you on your bed?

Yes, that's it.

Slowly.

Who is this?

It's your brother.

Come in.

- Are you alone?
- Yes.

And Béatrice?

She's enjoying her last night.

- And Olivier?
- Ah, I barely saw him tonight.

Why wouldn't you come back downstairs?

Because I'm feeling blue.

About going back to Paris?

Yes.

Me too.

You'll get back to your Jaguar,
your friends.

And you, you parents' nice apartment?

Ours?

I wish.

I'm cold.

Can I come in your bed
just for a while?

Who do you think I am?

My sister.

In this case...

But, like brothers and sisters.

Don't go too far.

- Like brothers and sisters.
- Yes.

- Can I trust you?
- Yes.

- You lock the door?
- Yes, it's a habit.

- Really? Even when you're alone?
- Yes.

She's less beautiful than yours.

- What?
- Well the room.

No, I find it nice.

Come.

Your leg doesn't hurt anymore?

Oh, I forgot!

You forgot?

The pain!

- I'm extremely tolerant to pain.
- Really? Me too.

To others' pain.

Why do you say that?

Because you sat far from me.

What does it have to do with pain?

It would hurt less.

If I sat close to you?

You find it weird?

No.

Come on, lay down,

you'll be more comfortable.

You promised not to touch me.

- I promised, I promised...
- Yes, you promised!

Well, alright.

Why?

Because no other boy
ever touched me yet.

- You didn't tell me!
- Well, of course not.

When I meet a boy I don't tell him:

"I'm a dumbbell, I never went alone
in the room of a boy.

I've never been touched by a boy".

If I ever do it...

I promised I wouldn't touch you.

Your skin is so soft.

What is that?

Don't pull on my tights!

- You wear that as a protection?
- It's not your business.

Him, again, with his lumbago.

- So you come back next year!
- I promise.

Goodbye,

- and thanks a lot.
- Have a safe trip.

And come back quick.

And you won't need an invitation
or permission from Mister de Tourville.

You can't always depend on your parents.

- Goodbye.
- Goodbye.

Il, Béa, what do you do?
You come or you stay?

- I come.
- Come on.

Me too, then.

But how could you,
you don't have a ticket?

Ah no?

Here, Olivier, I give you half of mine.

It's useless then.

- You don't want to leave anymore?
- Smart guy, you guessed right, I stay!

Bravo Béa!

- Well...
- You're not too mad at me?

Goodbye.

You know, as long as I bring
my brother back home,

my father won't say anything.

But we'll be back, I swear.

We hope.

It's only goodbye for now, my brothers,

it's only goodbye for now.

Yes, we'll meet again, my brothers,

it's only goodbye for now.

- Goodbye!
- Have a nice trip!

See you soon! Goodbye!

- Someone's waiting for you?
- Oh, probably.

Father's chauffeur will pick me up
with his coupé.

You?

I have my Jaguar in the parking lot.

Well, then...

See you someday!

See you someday, yes.

Goodbye.

- You're going to Paris?
- Yes.

- I'm going to the 18th arrondissement.
- OK, come in.

You have a Jaguar,
that's really my dream car.

- You can drive?
- Yes.

So do it, because I just come
from Tokyo and I'm worn out.

Taxi!

Yes, in the 18th arrondissement.

Great!

Guillaume!

- Guillaume!
- Joëlle!

I saw you in a Jaguar.

I saw you in a coupé.

You see, you don't need to be
in the desert to see mirages.

Hop!

So you live in the 18th arrondissement?

So none of us belongs
to Mister de Tourville's family?

Yes, me.

You're his daughter?

Better than that. His secretary.

Say, you have a really nice suitcase.

It's not mine.

You know, it was all wheeling
and dealing in the beginning

and I found myself with a suitcase
filled with sexy undies.

Really?

Say, I never saw any.
You show me?

- You want to see?
- Oh yes, of course I want.

Not only it's not mine,

but that's not the one that's not mine.

So what will you do with it?

Bring it to the police station,

and if in one year and one day
nobody has claimed it,

we'll go to Marrakech in a Jaguar.

It will be a wonderful honeymoon.