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1
00:00:14,797 --> 00:00:18,757
Look at what's happened to me
2
00:00:18,801 --> 00:00:22,892
I can't believe it myself
3
00:00:22,935 --> 00:00:26,200
Suddenly I'm up on top of the world
4
00:00:26,243 --> 00:00:30,856
It should have been somebody else
5
00:00:32,162 --> 00:00:35,905
Believe it or not I'm walking on air
6
00:00:35,948 --> 00:00:40,866
I never thought I could feel so free
7
00:00:40,910 --> 00:00:44,479
Flying away on a wing and a prayer
8
00:00:44,522 --> 00:00:48,874
Who could it be
9
00:00:48,918 --> 00:00:53,183
Believe it or not it's just me
10
00:00:54,793 --> 00:00:59,059
Just like the light of a new day
11
00:00:59,102 --> 00:01:02,801
It hit me from out of the blue
12
00:01:02,845 --> 00:01:07,023
Breaking me out of the spell I was in
13
00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:10,896
Making all of my wishes come true
14
00:01:12,985 --> 00:01:16,989
Believe it or not I'm walking on air
15
00:01:17,033 --> 00:01:20,950
I never thought I could feel so free
16
00:01:20,993 --> 00:01:25,128
Flying away on a wing and a prayer
17
00:01:25,172 --> 00:01:28,958
Who could it be
18
00:01:29,001 --> 00:01:33,832
Believe it or not it's just me
19
00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:38,837
Who could it be
20
00:01:38,881 --> 00:01:44,060
Believe it or not it's just me
21
00:01:51,763 --> 00:01:53,983
You got any relish? No.
22
00:01:54,026 --> 00:01:59,162
Okay. Two long dogs, a Coke, a
coffee, french fries as well, please.
23
00:01:59,206 --> 00:02:02,078
Yes sir. That's got it.
Uh, $4.36.
24
00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:04,341
Here you go. Out of five.
25
00:02:04,385 --> 00:02:06,865
- Keep the change. Hm?
- Thank you, sir.
26
00:02:37,940 --> 00:02:41,422
Oh, two goofballs holed up in a
motel, may starve to death,
27
00:02:41,465 --> 00:02:45,991
and ol' Mr. Clean, out there
probably forgetting relish again.
28
00:02:52,781 --> 00:02:56,045
Open up! Room service.
29
00:02:56,088 --> 00:02:58,917
Just leave it by the door.
30
00:02:58,961 --> 00:03:01,137
Come on, Bill!
Open up!
31
00:03:03,226 --> 00:03:05,881
Forgot the password?
32
00:03:05,924 --> 00:03:08,710
Very funny, Bill.
33
00:03:08,753 --> 00:03:12,757
Cleaning your gun with a baby diaper.
That's obscene.
34
00:03:12,801 --> 00:03:16,935
It is not obscene. It is a soft towel.
Been using them for years.
35
00:03:16,979 --> 00:03:19,349
You get 'em down at the drugstore,
so they don't scratch the bluing.
36
00:03:19,373 --> 00:03:22,158
Where's the relish?
Where is the relish?
37
00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:25,117
Is that my bedspread with
the guns on top of it?
38
00:03:25,161 --> 00:03:27,531
It's a federal bedspread, Ralph.
We commandeered the room, remember?
39
00:03:27,555 --> 00:03:31,950
There's no relish. This is all ketchup. I
hate ketchup. It's got tomatoes in it. Whoa!
40
00:03:31,994 --> 00:03:34,953
Ralph! Oh! What are you doing?
Now you've done it.
41
00:03:34,997 --> 00:03:37,913
No, Bill. You've done it.
You've gone commandeer crazy.
42
00:03:37,956 --> 00:03:40,021
You want to take a shower,
you commandeer the bathroom.
43
00:03:40,045 --> 00:03:42,720
You want to watch something on TV,
you commandeer the television set.
44
00:03:42,744 --> 00:03:45,007
Well, you want to get
some relish, Bill?
45
00:03:45,050 --> 00:03:47,333
Why don't you go out there
and commandeer the wiener wagon?
46
00:03:47,357 --> 00:03:51,100
- Maybe if you flip your badge they'll give you a free cola.
- This is not a college dorm.
47
00:03:51,143 --> 00:03:55,626
It's a stakeout. When field operatives
hit the mattresses, everybody has to give.
48
00:03:55,670 --> 00:03:58,910
I'm giving a lot, but this is ridiculous.
I mean, there's no need for me to be here.
49
00:03:58,934 --> 00:04:01,826
- I got a life of my own.
- Yeah. You have a life of your own on the weekends,
50
00:04:01,850 --> 00:04:04,113
when we're
out of scenarios.
51
00:04:04,156 --> 00:04:07,048
Yeah. Well, this is hardly a suit-class
scenario, waiting for a couple of bank thieves.
52
00:04:07,072 --> 00:04:09,901
Life is not a carnival.
Uh, these yours, Bill?
53
00:04:13,078 --> 00:04:15,342
I gotta thank you
a lot, Ralph.
54
00:04:15,385 --> 00:04:18,301
Okay. Time out.
This is a time, big "T,"
55
00:04:18,345 --> 00:04:21,609
because we're gonna have to run
stakeout procedures one more time.
56
00:04:21,652 --> 00:04:24,960
Ralph, since you're still a little
bit green when it comes to, uh...
57
00:04:25,003 --> 00:04:27,373
When it comes to waiting for... let
me see if I got this straight...
58
00:04:27,397 --> 00:04:31,009
Waiting for, uh, some
suspected interstate felons...
59
00:04:31,053 --> 00:04:33,316
who are allegedly on the lam,
holed up, uh,
60
00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:36,537
hitting the mattresses,
waiting for the rest of their gang...
61
00:04:36,580 --> 00:04:40,062
to show up in another armpit
dive exactly like this one.
62
00:04:40,105 --> 00:04:45,285
And our job, our duty,
our mission is to starve the bad guys out.
63
00:04:45,328 --> 00:04:47,635
My, I'm having
such a wonderful time.
64
00:04:47,678 --> 00:04:52,030
Exactly my sentiments, kiddo. I never told
you this was gonna be a walk in the park.
65
00:04:52,074 --> 00:04:56,121
You got me there, Bill. You said it
was going to be a weekend at the beach.
66
00:04:56,165 --> 00:05:00,691
And the beach is only about
six miles that way by bus.
67
00:05:00,735 --> 00:05:02,867
They're fighting again.
68
00:05:02,911 --> 00:05:06,828
Sounds like we got Cain and Abel
going at it next door.
69
00:05:06,871 --> 00:05:08,917
Makes my ears ring.
70
00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:12,877
I wonder where Maxwell finds the time
to keep such close tabs on the party.
71
00:05:12,921 --> 00:05:15,532
Guy got real lucky on this one...
Running us down for harassment,
72
00:05:15,576 --> 00:05:18,666
steps right into
the middle of our plan.
73
00:05:18,709 --> 00:05:21,712
We'll take care of Mr. Maxwell. What
happened? Run out of crossword puzzles?
74
00:05:21,756 --> 00:05:24,715
- One is an antique...
- When Maxwell and his beach-bum buddy...
75
00:05:24,759 --> 00:05:28,153
make their move on those escaped convicts
they've got staked out across the street,
76
00:05:28,197 --> 00:05:33,115
we'll jump on Mr. Maxwell
and we will pull his plug.
77
00:05:33,158 --> 00:05:36,248
Mr. Zedlocker?
78
00:05:36,292 --> 00:05:39,861
- Mr. Jackson.
- Hertzog and I have the F.B.I. problem under control, sir.
79
00:05:39,904 --> 00:05:42,124
- Good.
- I assure you, sir,
80
00:05:42,167 --> 00:05:44,692
that Agent Maxwell will no
longer interfere with the Reich.
81
00:05:44,735 --> 00:05:46,868
Thank you, Mr. Jackson.
82
00:05:46,911 --> 00:05:49,218
Party members
have been contacted,
83
00:05:49,261 --> 00:05:52,090
and I expect that the operation
will go forward as planned.
84
00:05:52,134 --> 00:05:55,398
Power to the Fourth Reich.
85
00:05:58,270 --> 00:06:02,536
Mr. Jackson reports that Maxwell will
no longer be a threat to our mission.
86
00:06:02,579 --> 00:06:05,408
And what about the Norma Rae?
How's it going?
87
00:06:05,452 --> 00:06:08,803
The freighter is being
loaded as we speak.
88
00:06:08,846 --> 00:06:12,459
With enough U.S.-manufactured
military weaponry...
89
00:06:12,502 --> 00:06:15,940
to update our country's
entire offensive capabilities.
90
00:06:15,984 --> 00:06:20,292
And with Maxwell handled,
no one will get in our way.
91
00:06:22,251 --> 00:06:24,427
Good.
92
00:06:24,471 --> 00:06:28,736
I mean, I just don't get it why you can't
get into the swing of stakeout duty.
93
00:06:28,779 --> 00:06:33,218
Ralph, come on. Some of the
finest moments of my career...
94
00:06:33,262 --> 00:06:36,787
have been, uh, hangin' out in the
pouring-down rain in the middle of no place,
95
00:06:36,831 --> 00:06:40,791
scarfing down the burgers and the Cokes,
working on about two hours sleep a night.
96
00:06:40,835 --> 00:06:44,534
I mean, Detroit was, uh... I think it was
Detroit. Yeah. It was Detroit, Michigan.
97
00:06:44,578 --> 00:06:47,929
Huggins and me had these two beanbags
holed up in this great big warehouse.
98
00:06:47,972 --> 00:06:53,195
- You already told me about Detroit.
- And Huggins, uh...
99
00:06:53,238 --> 00:06:56,328
- You'd have loved Huggins.
- You already told me about Detroit, Bill.
100
00:06:56,372 --> 00:06:59,331
Huggins had this thing he would
do with his mouth. Now, I can't...
101
00:07:03,727 --> 00:07:06,445
Ah, well, I can't really do it,
but he could play almost anything on it.
102
00:07:06,469 --> 00:07:09,124
He used to blow "Reveille" every morning.
It was kind of like...
103
00:07:12,736 --> 00:07:15,652
Ah, well. Anyway, something
like that. But...
104
00:07:15,696 --> 00:07:18,220
You already told me
about Detroit, Bill! Gaah! Whoa!
105
00:07:18,263 --> 00:07:21,136
- Twice.
- All right. Okay.
106
00:07:21,179 --> 00:07:23,921
Okay, Ralph. Now you're gonna
hear my side of the story.
107
00:07:23,965 --> 00:07:26,446
We'll start with the little
stuff... the toothpaste tube.
108
00:07:26,489 --> 00:07:30,188
God forbid I should squeeze it in the middle
instead of rolling it up from the bottom.
109
00:07:30,232 --> 00:07:35,324
I get this from the only guy in the
world that folds his dirty clothes.
110
00:07:35,367 --> 00:07:37,413
That's a federal phone.
Please don't use it.
111
00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:40,348
- You want to call your mommy, go outside on the porch.
- I'm calling Mr. Knight.
112
00:07:40,372 --> 00:07:43,550
He is my school principal,
you'll recall.
113
00:07:43,593 --> 00:07:45,953
I do have a profession, you know, Bill.
I'm a schoolteacher.
114
00:07:45,987 --> 00:07:48,748
Well, sittin' on a bunch of illiterates
is not real high on my list...
115
00:07:48,772 --> 00:07:52,820
of all-time, must-solve scenarios,
kiddo, so will you get this please?
116
00:07:52,863 --> 00:07:56,519
We got two bank felons holed up
across the street,
117
00:07:56,563 --> 00:07:59,522
waiting for their buddies to show
up, then we bust 'em and bag 'em.
118
00:07:59,566 --> 00:08:02,525
If they show up. And after three
days in this armpit, I doubt it.
119
00:08:02,569 --> 00:08:05,485
Me too.
What are you doin'?
120
00:08:05,528 --> 00:08:08,357
I'm filing for divorce, honey.
This whole thing is about the suit.
121
00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:11,316
I have it and you want it.
I'm taking my suit and I'm leaving.
122
00:08:11,360 --> 00:08:17,192
Ah, ho! It's myfootball,
so we're gonna play in front of my house?
123
00:08:17,235 --> 00:08:22,023
Yeah. I did pretty decent duty,
you know, before you showed up.
124
00:08:22,066 --> 00:08:24,242
I don't really need you
or the suit.
125
00:08:24,286 --> 00:08:28,246
And I'll tell you another thing, I think
the little green guys, the cosmic clowns,
126
00:08:28,290 --> 00:08:32,381
could have given me a... a partner with
some grit instead of a bleeding heart.
127
00:08:32,424 --> 00:08:35,384
And I said that was
a federal phone, kid. Hi, Pam?
128
00:08:35,427 --> 00:08:37,429
Yes? Would you do me a favor
and pick me up?
129
00:08:37,473 --> 00:08:39,910
Okay.
What is it this time?
130
00:08:39,954 --> 00:08:42,217
Bill trying to recycle you
through basic training?
131
00:08:42,260 --> 00:08:45,350
Uh, I can't talk right now.
I'm on a federal phone.
132
00:08:45,394 --> 00:08:47,527
See you in a bit.
133
00:08:50,225 --> 00:08:54,185
It's been real fun.
134
00:08:54,229 --> 00:08:56,144
Who needs you anyway?
135
00:08:59,626 --> 00:09:04,544
His partner just left. We move out
now, we only got one fed to fool with.
136
00:09:04,587 --> 00:09:08,678
We can't wait
for those guys any longer. You think?
137
00:09:08,722 --> 00:09:11,725
I think it goes down now.
138
00:09:18,035 --> 00:09:21,386
Who said that opposites attract
139
00:09:21,430 --> 00:09:25,434
They probably think the world is flat
140
00:09:25,477 --> 00:09:31,353
'Cause you and I are opposites
and all we do is fight
141
00:09:31,396 --> 00:09:34,399
We see from different points of view
142
00:09:34,443 --> 00:09:39,013
You laugh at me I laugh at you
143
00:09:39,056 --> 00:09:44,627
And we both know two
wrongs don't make a right
144
00:09:44,671 --> 00:09:48,892
So here I am on the corner
145
00:09:48,936 --> 00:09:52,896
Of So Long and Good-bye
146
00:09:52,940 --> 00:09:58,293
But something in the heart of me
says give it one more try
147
00:09:58,336 --> 00:10:02,166
I'm here again at the junction
148
00:10:02,210 --> 00:10:04,778
Of This-time-it's-the-end
149
00:10:04,821 --> 00:10:08,651
We're opposites We're idiots
150
00:10:08,695 --> 00:10:13,700
But we're still friends
151
00:10:19,662 --> 00:10:22,186
That's it. That's him. That's the guy.
152
00:10:23,710 --> 00:10:27,539
Yeah. Okay. I think... Oh, I don't know.
I think that's gotta be him.
153
00:10:27,583 --> 00:10:29,716
Yeah, Jackson?
154
00:10:29,759 --> 00:10:32,022
Maxwell's partner just left.
155
00:10:32,066 --> 00:10:35,025
All right. When we move in,
back us up with the wiener wagon.
156
00:10:41,379 --> 00:10:46,341
That's him. That's definitely him.
That is... Billy Bob Floyd.
157
00:10:46,384 --> 00:10:50,867
Ralph? Ralph, come in.
Come in, Ralph. Ralph?
158
00:10:50,911 --> 00:10:54,523
- Yeah? Want me to get you a pizza?
- We can kiss and make up later.
159
00:10:54,566 --> 00:10:57,569
This is it. We're on.
It's going down right now. What?
160
00:10:57,613 --> 00:11:00,877
If you want to get in on this,
get your bones back here now!
161
00:11:00,921 --> 00:11:03,532
Why did I know
you were going to say that?
162
00:11:03,575 --> 00:11:05,708
Who said that opposites attract
163
00:11:05,752 --> 00:11:09,016
They probably think the world is flat
164
00:11:09,059 --> 00:11:12,323
'Cause you and I are opposites
165
00:11:12,367 --> 00:11:14,935
And all we do is fight Ralph, come on.
Where are you?
166
00:11:14,978 --> 00:11:17,720
We see from different points of view
167
00:11:17,764 --> 00:11:22,464
You laugh at me I laugh at you
168
00:11:22,507 --> 00:11:27,599
We both know two wrongs
don't make a right
169
00:11:27,643 --> 00:11:32,387
- Ralph!
- So I'm here at the junction
170
00:11:32,430 --> 00:11:35,607
Of This-time-it's-the-end
171
00:11:35,651 --> 00:11:38,088
Help! We're opposites We're idiots
172
00:11:38,132 --> 00:11:42,310
But we're still friends
173
00:11:42,353 --> 00:11:45,574
Will you stop playing around
and get in here?
174
00:11:49,447 --> 00:11:53,495
Now, look. That guy over
there is this Billy Bob Floyd.
175
00:11:53,538 --> 00:11:56,256
That's the guy we've been waiting for.
His partner's got to be here someplace.
176
00:11:56,280 --> 00:11:59,501
Supposed to be
in that motel.
177
00:11:59,544 --> 00:12:03,505
This guy's the guy from the wiener wagon,
Bill. This isn't Billy Bob What's-his-face.
178
00:12:03,548 --> 00:12:07,422
He sells hot dogs. No, it's,
uh... it's Floyd. It's gotta be him.
179
00:12:07,465 --> 00:12:11,643
Oh, don't hand me that, Bill. It's just another
cheap trick to get me back here. Well...
180
00:12:11,687 --> 00:12:13,733
Nah, it looks like him.
181
00:12:15,604 --> 00:12:18,888
You are a prince, you know that? Well, no.
Come on, Ralph. I wouldn't do that to you.
182
00:12:18,912 --> 00:12:21,349
Adios, pal. I wouldn't pull
a trick on you.
183
00:12:21,392 --> 00:12:23,752
All right. So I made a little mistake.
It's human, isn't it?
184
00:12:23,786 --> 00:12:29,487
I mean, it's a human fail...
Wait a minute! Ralph! Look!
185
00:12:29,531 --> 00:12:32,273
That's them there!
That's the... Ralph! They made us!
186
00:12:32,316 --> 00:12:34,449
Come on, Ralph. Get the lead out.
We're on the clock.
187
00:12:34,492 --> 00:12:37,191
Oh. Well, but I'm not
through with this!
188
00:12:47,679 --> 00:12:50,465
- Bill! You all right?
- Yeah! Go get 'em!
189
00:13:23,977 --> 00:13:26,370
W-Wait a minute!
190
00:13:26,414 --> 00:13:29,504
Now. You see what kind of
field leader you got here, kid?
191
00:13:29,547 --> 00:13:33,203
You could have saved the tantrum
and listened to the old pro.
192
00:13:33,247 --> 00:13:36,728
Frankly, you got a lot to learn. I wish you'd
listen to the old geezer a little better.
193
00:13:36,772 --> 00:13:40,776
Would you listen to me, Bill? I'm sorry this
all happened. You were right and I was wrong.
194
00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:44,495
But it's not working for me, Bill. I can't go
on like this, bickering with you all the time.
195
00:13:44,519 --> 00:13:49,219
- I'm... Making me old!
- Well, you know. If you can't stand the heat...
196
00:13:49,263 --> 00:13:54,007
Would you let me finish?
All right? See, you were right.
197
00:13:54,050 --> 00:13:57,793
The green guys made a mistake.
They gave the suit to the wrong person.
198
00:13:57,837 --> 00:14:01,188
So, as of this moment,
I'm retiring.
199
00:14:01,231 --> 00:14:06,193
This was the last one, Bill.
I'm through. I'm finished. Here.
200
00:14:06,236 --> 00:14:10,066
Uh, well, that's fine with me,
kid, but, uh...
201
00:14:10,110 --> 00:14:12,155
Uh, this doesn't work on me.
202
00:14:12,199 --> 00:14:15,419
- What am I supposed to do with it?
- Why don't you have it stuffed?
203
00:14:15,463 --> 00:14:17,987
Boy, is he ever gonna grow up?
204
00:14:20,990 --> 00:14:23,645
Hey.
205
00:14:23,688 --> 00:14:26,517
How... Who was that guy?
206
00:14:30,739 --> 00:14:33,655
The American Nazi Party would
like to have a few words with you.
207
00:14:33,698 --> 00:14:38,529
Well, well. The ugly brothers
from the American Nazi Party.
208
00:14:53,631 --> 00:14:55,764
- Bill, are you all right?
- Kid, what are you do...
209
00:14:55,807 --> 00:14:58,810
- Get down! Without...
- Watch out!
210
00:14:58,854 --> 00:15:01,117
Get back!
211
00:15:09,647 --> 00:15:11,736
Ralph?
212
00:15:11,780 --> 00:15:14,652
Oh.
213
00:15:17,612 --> 00:15:19,831
Ralph?
214
00:15:28,753 --> 00:15:31,017
Okay, Maxwell. Give it up.
215
00:15:41,201 --> 00:15:43,116
Get him!
216
00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:52,081
I wouldn't be messing
with that if I was you.
217
00:15:55,737 --> 00:15:57,695
Ohh. What happened?
218
00:15:57,739 --> 00:16:01,612
You took a slug, kid,
meant for me. Don't move.
219
00:16:13,233 --> 00:16:16,845
Okay. We're almost there.
Ralph, just hang on.
220
00:16:16,888 --> 00:16:20,109
Uh, the hospital's just around
the corner here. It's up the road.
221
00:16:20,153 --> 00:16:23,045
When we get there we're gonna take the suit,
and we're gonna make it into a hammock.
222
00:16:23,069 --> 00:16:26,246
We're gonna hang it up, 'cause
we did the job, and that's it.
223
00:16:26,289 --> 00:16:29,889
I mean, you can't ask more than that. We did
it. We're gonna take it easy from here on out.
224
00:16:45,743 --> 00:16:51,401
Uh! Ow. Oh, Bill, I wish you'd
learn how to drive. What's wrong?
225
00:16:51,445 --> 00:16:55,318
Uh, it's nothin', kid.
226
00:16:55,362 --> 00:16:57,799
The brakes have seized up.
We're real close.
227
00:16:57,842 --> 00:17:01,368
There's nothing to worry about.
I'll just have to carry you. That's all.
228
00:17:11,943 --> 00:17:15,512
Oh, no. Not the little green guys.
Not now!
229
00:17:20,126 --> 00:17:22,780
I can't stop this thing!
230
00:17:30,397 --> 00:17:34,270
Found 'em walking down the street handcuffed,
and babblin' about some super guy...
231
00:17:34,314 --> 00:17:36,751
flying around with a cape
and a skintight tutu.
232
00:17:36,794 --> 00:17:38,753
Gonna run them by the clinic
for a check.
233
00:17:38,796 --> 00:17:41,234
Excuse me, Officer.
Can you tell me what's going on?
234
00:17:41,277 --> 00:17:44,628
Who are you? Civil Liberties,
the press, what?
235
00:17:44,672 --> 00:17:47,066
Pamela Davidson.
I'm an attorney.Terrific.
236
00:17:47,109 --> 00:17:52,071
What, are you guys wearing beepers now?
Go chase somebody else's ambulance, lady.
237
00:17:59,513 --> 00:18:02,211
Ralph.
Ralph, where are you?
238
00:18:07,912 --> 00:18:12,656
Ralph. Bill! Talk to me.
Can you hear me? Ralph!
239
00:18:12,700 --> 00:18:14,876
Talk to me.
240
00:18:15,964 --> 00:18:18,271
Hey.
241
00:18:18,314 --> 00:18:21,361
Hey, what's going on?
242
00:18:29,847 --> 00:18:34,200
Oh, boy. Come on.
I hate this stuff.
243
00:18:34,243 --> 00:18:37,203
Where are we going? I don't know, kid. I...
244
00:18:37,246 --> 00:18:39,727
Not very far. We've only
got a quarter of a tank.
245
00:19:01,227 --> 00:19:04,795
We'll have to owe ya!
246
00:19:19,941 --> 00:19:23,423
Palmdale? We're going
to Palmdale, Ralph.
247
00:19:23,466 --> 00:19:26,948
You know what happens every time
we go to Palmdale. It's that ship.
248
00:19:26,991 --> 00:19:29,622
That spaceship with those little
whatchacallits on it, the flashing lights,
249
00:19:29,646 --> 00:19:31,909
and the buzzing
and everything.
250
00:19:31,953 --> 00:19:34,477
Oh!
Maybe it's our time.
251
00:19:34,521 --> 00:19:38,046
It's not our time. What are you talking about?
It's not our time. It's not our time.
252
00:19:38,089 --> 00:19:40,353
We haven't even
started yet.
253
00:19:43,269 --> 00:19:46,968
What the...
254
00:19:55,150 --> 00:20:00,199
Ah! Okay, Ralph. We're in luck.
We just picked up a chippie.
255
00:20:11,645 --> 00:20:14,474
Oh.
256
00:20:37,061 --> 00:20:40,630
Okay. Kid,
I think we're here.
257
00:20:54,731 --> 00:20:56,733
How do you feel?
258
00:21:24,631 --> 00:21:27,111
Please... come...
259
00:21:27,155 --> 00:21:30,811
Mister... hero sandwich.
260
00:21:30,854 --> 00:21:33,335
Out and... ready for...
261
00:21:33,379 --> 00:21:36,120
Transportation.
262
00:21:36,164 --> 00:21:38,819
It's the bottom
of the ninth.
263
00:21:42,257 --> 00:21:44,390
What are you doing?
264
00:21:47,828 --> 00:21:50,613
Wait a second. Wait a second.
Wait a second.
265
00:21:50,657 --> 00:21:52,702
Careful.
266
00:21:56,706 --> 00:21:59,100
Okay. Here we go.
267
00:22:03,365 --> 00:22:08,239
They're sending you down
another partner...
268
00:22:08,283 --> 00:22:10,590
as good as me.
269
00:22:10,633 --> 00:22:14,158
I've got the best partner in the world.
I don't want another partner.
270
00:22:21,122 --> 00:22:26,127
They have a sense of humor about my calling
them little green creeps all this time.
271
00:22:26,170 --> 00:22:30,087
Ralph, you're gonna tell 'em, right?
That I was just kiddin', and...
272
00:22:32,133 --> 00:22:34,135
I was just kiddin'.
273
00:22:57,288 --> 00:22:59,639
I couldn't believe it!
274
00:23:06,210 --> 00:23:09,039
Hey, wait a minute.
275
00:23:52,387 --> 00:23:54,389
Whaah!
276
00:25:35,882 --> 00:25:39,363
Mr. Maxwell.
277
00:25:39,407 --> 00:25:43,324
We waited until now
to approach you.
278
00:25:43,367 --> 00:25:46,501
We were afraid
you would not understand.
279
00:25:46,545 --> 00:25:48,895
But you have
made it necessary.
280
00:25:48,938 --> 00:25:52,202
Has our experiment
here failed?
281
00:25:52,246 --> 00:25:54,204
Huh?
282
00:25:57,294 --> 00:25:59,253
Okay.
283
00:26:01,298 --> 00:26:03,344
You're cookin' him
in there!
284
00:26:03,387 --> 00:26:07,087
He is in stasis.
285
00:26:25,888 --> 00:26:28,848
Wha... What happened?
286
00:26:28,891 --> 00:26:31,328
Where'd he go?
287
00:26:31,372 --> 00:26:33,417
Is he okay?
288
00:26:41,382 --> 00:26:43,906
I told her!
289
00:26:43,950 --> 00:26:48,258
Pam, you can't cook... you can't
cook eggs in half a pound of butter.
290
00:26:53,524 --> 00:26:56,092
Kid?
291
00:27:08,844 --> 00:27:11,673
We're here.
We're in it.
292
00:27:11,717 --> 00:27:14,720
- We're really in it.
- We're in the ship?
293
00:27:16,373 --> 00:27:18,419
We are in it, huh?
294
00:27:28,429 --> 00:27:31,606
Oh, yeah. Um, you need
one of these little things.
295
00:27:31,650 --> 00:27:34,522
You gotta stick it
in your ear. You see?
296
00:27:34,565 --> 00:27:36,263
Go ahead. Take it.
297
00:27:39,658 --> 00:27:43,705
Yeah. It allows you to-to hear 'em when
they talk. Go ahead. Stick it in your ear.
298
00:27:43,749 --> 00:27:45,707
Go ahead.
299
00:27:47,535 --> 00:27:51,670
You have been healed,
and now you must be taught.
300
00:27:55,369 --> 00:27:57,371
Sir?
301
00:27:58,807 --> 00:28:01,201
Where are you from?
302
00:28:01,244 --> 00:28:04,204
We are from...
303
00:28:09,600 --> 00:28:12,691
There is no other way
to say it.
304
00:28:15,563 --> 00:28:17,434
Why did you give us the suit?
I mean, why us?
305
00:28:17,478 --> 00:28:23,005
There are so few garden planets left.
So few.
306
00:28:24,180 --> 00:28:27,270
I will show you one.
307
00:28:27,314 --> 00:28:29,533
Once it was beautiful,
308
00:28:29,577 --> 00:28:34,234
almost perfect, like yours.
309
00:28:34,277 --> 00:28:36,758
Now it is wasteland.
310
00:29:12,663 --> 00:29:14,404
This was a garden?
311
00:29:20,933 --> 00:29:25,459
Boy, that's worse than a desert.
There's nothing there. What is it?
312
00:29:31,987 --> 00:29:35,469
Bill, this is his planet...
His home.
313
00:29:38,689 --> 00:29:40,866
This is where he's from.
314
00:29:42,476 --> 00:29:44,434
Was from.
315
00:30:19,730 --> 00:30:21,820
Your world...
316
00:30:21,863 --> 00:30:26,085
is one in billions.
317
00:30:26,128 --> 00:30:30,741
It is a solar resource.
318
00:30:30,785 --> 00:30:33,657
It must not be wasted.
319
00:30:35,616 --> 00:30:40,664
You must try harder. You must be better.
320
00:30:40,708 --> 00:30:43,624
You must.
321
00:30:43,667 --> 00:30:45,713
You must.
322
00:30:45,756 --> 00:30:48,498
Good-bye.
323
00:31:02,382 --> 00:31:05,385
Bill!
The instruction book.
324
00:31:05,428 --> 00:31:08,692
Ohh. Oh, boy.
Uh, wait a second, wait a second.
325
00:31:08,736 --> 00:31:11,913
We need the instruction book.
Uh, we don't know how to use the suit.
326
00:31:11,957 --> 00:31:14,133
We've gotta have
the book.
327
00:31:21,488 --> 00:31:23,490
Ralph.
328
00:32:06,011 --> 00:32:11,190
Ralph, Ralph. Something happened to my car.
I was trying to find you,
329
00:32:11,233 --> 00:32:14,106
and then something
was happening to my car.
330
00:32:14,149 --> 00:32:16,673
We, uh... We do know
the feeling, sweetheart.
331
00:32:16,717 --> 00:32:20,112
Honey, we were worried about you too.
See, Bill and I had a fight,
332
00:32:20,155 --> 00:32:23,724
and like a jerk I took the suit
off, and then, uh, eh, I got shot.
333
00:32:23,767 --> 00:32:26,161
I was taken up in the
spaceship and I was healed.
334
00:32:26,205 --> 00:32:28,642
It was the most amazing
experience I've ever had. Okay, pal.
335
00:32:28,685 --> 00:32:31,993
We can read about all that
tomorrow in the daily report.
336
00:32:32,037 --> 00:32:34,996
Counselor, you are going to be
tickled to death to learn...
337
00:32:35,040 --> 00:32:37,825
that we have once again
in our possession...
338
00:32:37,868 --> 00:32:40,436
We've got
the instruction book!
339
00:32:40,480 --> 00:32:44,658
The book of instructions! Terrific.
340
00:32:44,701 --> 00:32:47,748
Yeah. Yeah.
341
00:32:47,791 --> 00:32:50,707
Uh, yes.
That's right.
342
00:32:50,751 --> 00:32:54,885
Yeah, boy. Now, wait a second. Don't start
commandeering this already.
343
00:32:54,929 --> 00:32:57,212
That's what got us into this
whole mess in the first place.
344
00:32:57,236 --> 00:32:59,847
What... This book was given to me.
I have the suit.
345
00:32:59,890 --> 00:33:05,331
What got us in this mess in the
first place was you losing that.
346
00:33:05,374 --> 00:33:08,160
Now gimme.
347
00:33:08,203 --> 00:33:10,379
Will you two cool it?
348
00:33:21,434 --> 00:33:23,784
Well, sure. Why not?
I mean, here. Help yourself.
349
00:33:23,827 --> 00:33:26,134
Hope you've polished up
on your Venusian recently.
350
00:33:26,178 --> 00:33:29,572
Mm-hmm.
What is this, a gag?
351
00:33:29,616 --> 00:33:32,532
That's silly.
I can't...
352
00:33:32,575 --> 00:33:35,665
You sent us
the wrong copy!
353
00:33:35,709 --> 00:33:38,929
Bill, you probably have to have
the suit on in order to read it.
354
00:33:38,973 --> 00:33:42,281
Exactly what I was thinking.
Uh, what'd you do with the suit?
355
00:33:42,324 --> 00:33:46,154
- What?
- He needs the suit to read the book, Bill.
356
00:33:46,198 --> 00:33:50,245
- What suit?
- You know, I-I gave you the suit,
357
00:33:50,289 --> 00:33:52,334
and I got shot.
358
00:33:52,378 --> 00:33:55,642
Where is it, in the wiener wagon?
No, it's not in the we...
359
00:33:57,122 --> 00:34:02,649
- No. I guess I... I left it with the Nazis.
- What?
360
00:34:21,755 --> 00:34:24,671
It's not even warm.
Not even warm!
361
00:34:39,903 --> 00:34:42,906
This is what the Reich
has been looking for. Hm!
362
00:34:42,950 --> 00:34:45,779
This will be
our Holy Grail.
363
00:34:47,824 --> 00:34:51,828
I just think we'd better
get that suit back.Right. How?
364
00:34:51,872 --> 00:34:55,789
To quote Bill, "Without the suit, our
operational power base is a little shaky."
365
00:34:55,832 --> 00:35:00,663
Long before we got that piece of linen,
I was not exactly a meter maid around here.
366
00:35:00,707 --> 00:35:03,188
- Ihad this piece of linen.
- Whatever.
367
00:35:03,231 --> 00:35:05,799
And I'm gonna
get it back.
368
00:35:05,842 --> 00:35:09,890
We'regonna get it back.
Will you two cut it out?
369
00:35:17,202 --> 00:35:21,206
Okay. That's it,
believe it or not... a neo-Nazi safe house.
370
00:35:21,249 --> 00:35:25,732
A guy named Phillips runs it.
He's a real card-carrying nut-burger...
371
00:35:25,775 --> 00:35:28,038
Low-echelon soldier
in the party.
372
00:35:28,082 --> 00:35:32,478
So, I call him, tell him that Zedlocker
is requesting his command performance,
373
00:35:32,521 --> 00:35:34,784
and we follow him to
wherever they got the suit.
374
00:35:34,828 --> 00:35:38,005
Paint by the numbers. Sounds more like
paint by fingers.
375
00:35:56,066 --> 00:35:57,894
Field Leader Phillips?
376
00:35:57,938 --> 00:36:00,854
Commander Zedlocker requests your
presence with all possible haste.
377
00:36:25,748 --> 00:36:28,055
Just don't let him spot ya, kid.
378
00:36:28,098 --> 00:36:31,624
He's gonna lead us right to whatever
these Nazi creeps are up to.
379
00:37:20,063 --> 00:37:22,370
And you're on schedule?
Yes, sir.
380
00:37:22,414 --> 00:37:26,592
- The Norma Raeand her cargo will be destroyed at noon.
- Good.
381
00:37:42,999 --> 00:37:46,438
What am I supposed to tell this
guy if he starts asking questions?
382
00:37:46,481 --> 00:37:50,224
Tell him you're
a born-again Nazi caterer,
383
00:37:50,268 --> 00:37:53,053
and your wiener wagon
is leakin' relish.
384
00:37:53,096 --> 00:37:55,055
Be inventive.
385
00:38:00,147 --> 00:38:02,367
Uh, hi.
386
00:38:02,410 --> 00:38:07,328
Thought we lost this thing
this afternoon.Yeah. Well, uh...
387
00:38:07,372 --> 00:38:09,374
Yee-aah!
388
00:38:09,417 --> 00:38:13,465
Hold it, gonzo!
Ralph, you got to do it.
389
00:38:13,508 --> 00:38:16,119
Uuh! Whoa!
390
00:38:16,163 --> 00:38:20,210
What did you do to yourself?
Okay. Come on. Come on.Nothin'.
391
00:38:23,779 --> 00:38:28,131
You're a fool, Mr. Phillips!
No one from the party called you.
392
00:38:28,175 --> 00:38:30,873
Must have been Maxwell.
Recognized us when we tried to grab him.
393
00:38:30,917 --> 00:38:33,485
Forget about Maxwell.
Gentlemen,
394
00:38:33,528 --> 00:38:37,489
the Norma Raewill
never reach her destination.
395
00:38:37,532 --> 00:38:40,100
Our allies will
pay us handsomely...
396
00:38:40,143 --> 00:38:44,278
for keeping the American-made
weapons out of Israeli hands.
397
00:38:44,322 --> 00:38:46,802
Hot dogs are here.
How ya doin'?
398
00:38:46,846 --> 00:38:51,024
Okay. I've got six long dogs,
two Cokes, there's fries and coffee.
399
00:38:51,067 --> 00:38:53,809
That comes to here,
uh, $9.63.
400
00:38:53,853 --> 00:38:57,073
And the price is right!
Hold it! Freeze your face!
401
00:38:57,117 --> 00:38:59,337
Counselor,
402
00:38:59,380 --> 00:39:02,340
the magic jammies.
403
00:39:02,383 --> 00:39:06,822
Afternoon, gents.
Bill Maxwell, agent, F.B.I., Los Angeles.
404
00:39:06,866 --> 00:39:12,262
You Nazi creeps are under arrest
for attempted murder... his.
405
00:39:12,306 --> 00:39:14,352
Kid, get the lead out.
406
00:39:18,443 --> 00:39:21,489
Counselor, pick up
the rest of this hardware.
407
00:39:21,533 --> 00:39:23,491
Okay. Come on. Ralph?
408
00:39:29,497 --> 00:39:32,152
Ralph, help!
409
00:39:55,175 --> 00:39:58,308
Hold it!
Freeze your face.
410
00:39:58,352 --> 00:40:01,007
Ah, counselor, thanks.
411
00:40:01,050 --> 00:40:03,052
Gimme. Wow-ow!
412
00:40:03,096 --> 00:40:05,620
Ah, thanks, dear.
413
00:40:05,664 --> 00:40:09,319
Well, Ralph, you haven't
lost any of the moves.
414
00:40:09,363 --> 00:40:12,932
I'm afraid you're too late, Mr. Maxwell.
You cannot stop us now.
415
00:40:12,975 --> 00:40:17,850
- What's he mean?
- What else you been cookin' up here, Mr. Footlocker?
416
00:40:17,893 --> 00:40:21,593
- Zedlocker.
- You can read about it in the newspaper tomorrow morning.
417
00:40:21,636 --> 00:40:24,378
Ralph, why don't you take
one of these beach balls...
418
00:40:24,422 --> 00:40:27,337
and play bouncy-bouncy
around the rooftops?
419
00:40:27,381 --> 00:40:29,514
See if you can shake
any answers out of 'em.
420
00:40:29,557 --> 00:40:31,516
You.
421
00:40:35,824 --> 00:40:38,087
You should see
his card tricks.
422
00:40:39,611 --> 00:40:41,743
Aah!
423
00:40:44,354 --> 00:40:47,619
Hel-l-lp! Ta-a-alk.
424
00:40:47,662 --> 00:40:51,623
Hel-l-lp! You gonna talk?
425
00:40:51,666 --> 00:40:55,453
You'll get nothing
out of my men, Mr. Maxwell.
426
00:40:55,496 --> 00:40:59,195
Like me, they are committed to
the return of the Third Reich.
427
00:41:01,546 --> 00:41:04,244
I got the whole thing,
Bill.
428
00:41:04,287 --> 00:41:07,377
They're planning on blowing up a
freighter loaded with U.S. weapons.
429
00:41:07,421 --> 00:41:10,946
The freighter is called the Norma Rae,
and it's headed for Israel right now.
430
00:41:10,990 --> 00:41:14,270
Okay. Go get 'em, kid. Counselor and me
can handle the rest of it all by ourselves.
431
00:41:14,297 --> 00:41:17,431
Uh, go on. Get goin'.
Thanks, partner.
432
00:43:07,497 --> 00:43:12,285
Oh, yeah. I'll just put in a requisition
for your four tires there, counselor.
433
00:43:12,328 --> 00:43:14,809
I think the bureau can spring
for a couple of retreads,
434
00:43:14,853 --> 00:43:16,918
and your insurance ought to
cover the headlights, right?
435
00:43:16,942 --> 00:43:20,554
Gee, Bill, that's a real deal. Bill's got
a lot of clout down at the bureau now.
436
00:43:20,598 --> 00:43:24,993
Seems like Zedlocker's been wanted for war
crimes ever since the Nuremberg trials.
437
00:43:25,037 --> 00:43:27,126
Carlisle's gonna give him
the "bust of the month."
438
00:43:27,169 --> 00:43:31,391
Carlisle and the rest of the
world have not seen nothin' yet...
439
00:43:31,434 --> 00:43:35,874
Not now, not since we got
our book of instructions back.
440
00:43:35,917 --> 00:43:39,312
Oh, boy.
Look at that gorgeous baby. Look at that.
441
00:43:39,355 --> 00:43:41,706
Ralph? Now, hon, be careful.
442
00:43:41,749 --> 00:43:46,754
Relax, counselor.
We got out of grammar school on our own,
443
00:43:46,798 --> 00:43:50,062
and from here on,
we got world-class...
444
00:43:50,105 --> 00:43:53,065
superhero scenarios,
wall to wall.
445
00:43:53,108 --> 00:43:55,676
We're gonna punch a hole right
in the middle of Red Square...
446
00:43:55,720 --> 00:43:59,027
that's gonna be about the size of
Mount Rushmore, just for openers.
447
00:43:59,071 --> 00:44:02,770
Shh. Let's be quiet now. This is not
exactly your primary-reader material.
448
00:44:05,251 --> 00:44:07,514
Pretty sophisticated stuff
we got here, you know, Bill?
449
00:44:07,557 --> 00:44:09,690
Well, you're the egghead
around here, kid.
450
00:44:09,734 --> 00:44:14,782
- I beg your pardon?
- The brains. Okay? For today.
451
00:44:14,826 --> 00:44:18,873
Now, just... Not too close to the car, please,
'cause you know what happened the last time.
452
00:44:18,917 --> 00:44:21,180
Okay. Maybe you shouldn't
try anything...
453
00:44:21,223 --> 00:44:23,791
until you've read
the whole book. It's mostly just numbers.
454
00:44:23,835 --> 00:44:28,796
Uh, oh, here's something. "Cosmic responding,
internal power-base procedures",
455
00:44:28,840 --> 00:44:31,146
1637.21."
456
00:44:31,190 --> 00:44:33,409
Cosmic responder?
457
00:44:33,453 --> 00:44:35,542
Oh, boy!
That sounds great.
458
00:44:35,585 --> 00:44:39,938
Yeah? What does it mean?
It means, uh, clam up and listen, okay?
459
00:44:39,981 --> 00:44:44,899
Yeah. Or, "Interface laser forms
and technical application of light."
460
00:44:44,943 --> 00:44:47,336
Gravity factor squared."
461
00:44:47,380 --> 00:44:50,426
Wow! Oh, yeah.
462
00:44:50,470 --> 00:44:54,779
Well, it sounds like it could be fun too.
Does it have anything there about, uh,
463
00:44:54,822 --> 00:44:58,739
the Wilbur and Orville factors that we have
been missing? All right. Stay back here.
464
00:44:58,783 --> 00:45:02,066
Pam, get out of the way and hold these, please.
I don't know what's going to happen here.
465
00:45:02,090 --> 00:45:05,180
Now, Ralph, maybe you should
start with something real simple.
466
00:45:05,224 --> 00:45:08,793
Yeah. Maybe that
interface stuff.
467
00:45:08,836 --> 00:45:11,534
Hmm. Must've left out
a decimal point.
468
00:45:17,497 --> 00:45:20,456
Wha...
469
00:45:20,500 --> 00:45:22,371
Ralph! Ralph, where'd you go?
Oh, no.
470
00:45:23,808 --> 00:45:25,853
Uh!
471
00:45:25,897 --> 00:45:30,466
- Oh, no.
- Oh, terrific. Now I can join a flea circus!
472
00:45:30,510 --> 00:45:32,468
Honey?
473
00:45:32,512 --> 00:45:36,429
No, don't! Don't t-touch anything.
You could cause a whole avalanche.
474
00:45:36,472 --> 00:45:39,084
What a bummer.
475
00:45:39,127 --> 00:45:42,609
Ralph? You see?
I told you, Bill.
476
00:45:42,652 --> 00:45:44,872
Nobody wants to
listen to me. No.
477
00:45:44,916 --> 00:45:47,266
Ralph? Are you
down there, Ralph?
478
00:45:47,309 --> 00:45:50,356
There's a bunch of big red ants runnin'
around here. I think you're okay.
479
00:45:50,399 --> 00:45:53,098
You got the suit on.
They probably can't...
480
00:45:57,624 --> 00:46:00,888
Uh, uh...
481
00:46:04,500 --> 00:46:06,502
Wow!
482
00:46:08,026 --> 00:46:13,205
Honey, are you all right? Ralph,
where did you go?
483
00:46:13,248 --> 00:46:16,077
Boy, that was weird.
484
00:46:17,557 --> 00:46:21,387
Ralph, where's the...
The book?
485
00:46:21,430 --> 00:46:23,476
- Th-The what?
- Oh, no.
486
00:46:23,519 --> 00:46:27,393
He left the book down there!
The book of instructions. Where did you...
487
00:46:27,436 --> 00:46:30,875
I put it on a boulder
right over, uh, there.
488
00:46:30,918 --> 00:46:33,007
Ohh, well,
we'll find it.
489
00:46:34,574 --> 00:46:37,969
Ralph, would you stop
messin' the sand up here?
490
00:46:38,012 --> 00:46:40,861
If you hadn't lost the book in the first
place, we wouldn't have to find it now.
491
00:46:40,885 --> 00:46:43,235
Hey, the cosmic responding
was your idea, Bill.
492
00:46:43,278 --> 00:46:46,518
You were the one that wanted him to start
pushing the buttons. Yeah, that's right, Bill.
493
00:46:46,542 --> 00:46:51,373
Uh, well, what was your excuse the last time
you lost it, huh? Would you two stop it?
494
00:46:51,417 --> 00:46:55,334
It was an accident. Accident? More like
a sloppy scenario.
495
00:46:55,377 --> 00:47:00,078
So here I am on the corner
of So Long and Good-bye
496
00:47:00,121 --> 00:47:03,516
I'm here at the junction
497
00:47:03,559 --> 00:47:08,260
Of This-time-it's-the-end
498
00:47:08,303 --> 00:47:11,611
We're opposites We're idiots
499
00:47:11,654 --> 00:47:15,093
But we're still
500
00:47:15,136 --> 00:47:18,313
Friends
501
00:47:19,749 --> 00:47:23,666
Closed-Captioned By
Captions, Inc., Los Angeles
502
00:47:23,716 --> 00:47:28,266
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