All language subtitles for The Greatest American Hero s01e01 The Greatest American Hero

Hey, guys, come
on please, man.

All I wanna do is go
back to my car, huh?

Look, I don't want any trouble.

Jesus loves you, my friend.

That's terrific news.

Onward Christian soldiers

Marching as to war

With the cross of Jesus

Going on before

Christ, the royal banner

So how's it going
with the class?

Listen to 'em.

You can hear 'em all
the way down here.

Ray, I've had this
class two weeks,

and I'm getting
nowhere with them.

It sounds like cowboy
night at the Palomino Club.

Yeah, well, that's special
education for you, Ralph.

I mean, these kids are in
here 'cause they're trouble.

They're disrupting the
entire high school, you know?

We get pencils and notebooks.

What we need is riot
guns and helmets.

Hey, look, look, I'm
sorry you got the duty.

I really am.

I sympathize.

But I had this class
for eight months,

and my medical insurance
about got canceled.

Just sit on 'em,
keep the door closed,

wear a flack vest, and read
them the Sunday funnies.

You'll make it.

I just thought maybe
I could get these kids

back into the mainstream
of the school.

I mean, that is the
general idea, isn't it?

Some of these kids are really
smart, Ray, like Rhonda.

You talkin' about
love me Rhonda?

Come on, Ralph, get serious.

You got a trash can in there.

Now, you get soft on these kids,

and they're gonna
plow you right under.

I just think I oughta
be able to do some good,

get them interested, even one.

Is that so damned impossible?

Looks like your chair, Ralph.

Hey, look, a good
technique here is,

is just to get it and throw
it right back in at 'em.

Or there's the Clyde
Beatty technique.

Use it to keep 'em at bay.

I'm gonna make a
difference with these kids.

Yeah, it sounds like yours
truly eight months ago.

And then they filled
my gas tank with sand,

they poured kerosene on my lawn,

and my spirit of rehabilitation

just kind of went
right out the window.

And I went to defense tactics.

Here you go, sport.

Knock 'em dead.

Thanks, Ray.

Hey, hey, let's
knock it off, huh?

Can we come to order, please?

Good morning.

Good
morning, teacher.

What do we got here,

an elimination or a main event?

Oh, we was having a
discussion about current events.

Sorta a recap on
yesterday's class, Mr. H.

Name's Ralph Hinkley,
Tony, not Mr. H., okay?

Who cares, huh?

I mean what cares about you.

You're just this month's
checkered coat, Jim.

You don't make no
difference to me.

Hey, how 'bout I show you
my right hook after class?

How 'bout that, Mr. H.?

- Oh, yeah, Tony, yeah, yeah.
- Show him, Tony.

You know, maybe that's
not a bad idea, Tony.

Suppose I call Coach Freeman
and tell him you and I

are gonna do three
three-minute rounds

in the gym tomorrow with
gloves and headgear?

Why not now, sucker?

We don't need no head gear.

No, I got something
else planned

for today, but we'll
do it tomorrow.

Oh, oh, oh, do I love this.

Do I love this.

How 'bout this, Rhonda, huh?

You're a clown, Tony.

Yeah, okay, okay, hey, we're
getting out of here today.

We're going on a field trip.

A field trip?

Man, we
never go nowhere.

Ain't nobody told you?

See, this class gets
loose in public,

everybody's insurance
premiums go up.

I arranged for a van.

We're gonna go out
to the desert today.

The desert?

Yeah, I want you guys to
see some stuff out there.

Call it a geological
trip, all right?

Come on, get your
stuff together.

Let's go.

Come on, move!

Let's go!

Do me a favor, Tony, why don't

you pick up that chair for me?

Hey, man, you want me?

You do what I say.

My mom just left again

My dad don't understand

I got no job, I'm broke

I feel like I'm a joke

I doubt that
I'm the only one

I need a place
where I can run

Why can't I just
have some fun

It's just my life

I couldn't change
it if I tried

But I don't I care

I might as well
just run and hide

It's just my life

And it's all
I've got to live

Honey, you're a
little over-trained.

I only ate half the
pie, and I sent it back,

and a cup of coffee, please.

Thank you.

Hey, you guys, remember
where we're from all right?

The table in the back.

The table in the back,
the table in the back.

Come on, let's go.

Let's go, let's go.

Hey, hey, you?

Yeah, that's right.

I'm talkin' to you.

You got a problem or somethin'?

You don't like the way I look?

Hey, Tony, come on.

Come on, sit down.

Get a load of this guy.

Looks like he stole Elliot
Ness' wardrobe or somethin'?

I don't like the way you look.

- How 'bout that?
- Come on, Tony.

Let's give this guy
the day off, all right?

Hey, what am I, spit, huh?

This guy looks at me like
I'm some kind of bug,

some kind of nothing
bug, a cockroach...

If you're looking for trouble,

you've just come across
the west coast distributor.

Oh, oh, oh, I love this.

We got a smart
mouth on our hands.

A fighter.

I'll get this guy
cooled out, all right?

If you're gonna run
around with the monkeys,

you gotta remember
to bring the cages.

It saves trouble up front.

Yeah, come on.

But then like they say,
clothes don't make the man.

I mean, if you wanna dress
like Archie Bunker going

to church, I mean,
whose business is that but yours, right?

I mean, I'm real
loose on that point.

Come on, Tony.

Let's go look at the menu.

Yeah, right, I'm gonna
go take a look at the menu.

Take any more of
these things off ya,

I'm gonna have to open
a shop in Tijuana.

Now, go on.

Sit down.

Listen, I'm sorry.

That's nice.

That makes everything
all right then.

I said I'm sorry.

What do you want,
a trip to Europe?

Leave me alone, pal.

I got my own problems.

Well, yeah, sure, you bet.

Listen.

We're a special ed class.

We're here on a field trip.

Now, sometimes these kids,
they get a little raunchy.

That's all, and I apologize.

I'd like to buy your
lunch or something.

Whoa, man,
check that out!

Get it,
Tony, get it, yeah!

How come we're
not on the road anymore?

Hey, what happened
to the engine, Mr. Hinkley?

How long can you
keep this stuff up?

What the hell's
going on out here?

Gee, let
me out of here!

I think it's just some kind
of power short or something.

There's a gas station
back there about a mile.

I'm gonna leave you guys here.

Rodriguez, you're in charge.

I want you to stick
close to the van,

and don't tear up
the upholstery.

Oh, hey, come on, man.

I don't wanna be in
charge of nothin'.

You're in charge.

Anything gets broken
up, it's your tail.

Oh, Paco, you get to
be the classroom monitor.

Lucky pucky.

Back in half an hour!

Hey, wait a minute!

What are you doing?

Hey!

Boy, you take yourself
way too seriously, pal.

No, don't do that.

That's my best pistolo.

What's the matter with you?

I wanna know what kind

of an institution
did you escape from?

This one.

You just tried to run me down!

No, no, it just went.

I don't know what.

I couldn't control it.

Maybe the steering
knuckle broke.

I don't know what happened.

Well?

I can't see anything.

It looks okay to me.

Daffy Duck government
equipment, nothing works.

Something weird's
going on out here.

These creeps have never heard
of preventive maintenance.

What is it?

Get it out of here.

I can't.

The only thing we
have to fear is fear itself.

You.

Will.

At.

The.

Car.

You.

Will.

Listen.

You.

Will.

Decide.

Bill?

Hello, Bill?

John, is that you?

Bill, I'm
in the spaceship.

Now, the people
here what you and

Ralph Hinkley to work for them.

They want Mr. Hinkley
to accept a gift

which contains these
unearthly powers.

Unearthly powers?

It's a suit that will

work on Mr. Hinkley,
nobody else.

There are these instructions.

You're supposed
to work with him,

to tell him what problems
that need to be solved.

It is up to you
whether to accept.

If you don't accept,
then in two weeks,

the suit will disintegrate.

A suit?

I don't need a suit.

I got plenty of suits.

I'm coming down, okay?

Hey, Bill, I'm gonna put
it in the trunk, okay?

Okay?

Yeah, in the trunk.

Whatever.

Mr. Hinkley, it's up
to you and Bill now.

You've gotta do this.

You've gotta take this on.

You can change things.

Save this planet
from destruction.

Who shot ya?

Who did that to you, John?

Are you all right?

I'm dead.

Ain't that a laugh?

Been dead for six hours.

The ship picked me up
out there afterwards.

I'm leaving with them.

It's a new life for me.

Nice working with you, Bill.

He was dead.

I noticed.

I'll see ya, kid.

Enjoy the package.

Wait a minute.

What are we supposed to do?

You're the teacher.

Well, Mr. Maxwell, we
have to talk about this.

You talk about it.

Let 'em put you in
the bug bin, not me.

Hey, wait a minute.

We gotta at least exchange
phone numbers or something?

God!

You jerk!

We found a dream house,
backyard picket fence

Moving boxes,
memories in hand

I thought of days gone by

And I took that
homeward drive

A voice inside me
cried at what I saw

Well, it told me this is not

Your town

Ow, ow, ow, ow.

Stop dropping the
matches in the carburetor.

It ain't never gonna get fixed.

Take a look and
you will find

You had some other
place in mind

Hey, look, Villicana, this
ain't no ravioli dinner here.

This is an engine, right?

So why don't you go blow
garlic in somebody else's face.

How about I just dropkick
you into next week?

You and what army, chump?

Hey, hold it!

Hold it!

Hey, Mr. H.

Hey, did you see those
weird lights out there?

What are you doing
with the carburetor?

Hey, check it out.

We're fixing this pig.

Tony, what'd you do that for?

There wasn't anything
wrong with it.

Hey, don't get
all lathered up.

You ain't talking to no
inexperienced guys here.

We both been in auto shop most
of our high school careers.

Come on, hurry up,
get that thing out.

I wanna get out of here.

Hey, Mr. Hinkley, did you
see them shooting lights?

Where'd you guys go?

Rodriguez, I told
you to stick tight.

Come on, Tony, let's get going.

I wanna go.

Hey, Mr. Hinkley, can
I speak to you, please?

It's important.

And don't lose anything.

Can I talk to you, please?

It's private.

Why don't you put
that with the other thing?

Hey, hey, how'd you do that?

Hey, they didn't work before.

Well, they work now.

Hey, Mr. H., I've been thinking
about for lunch tomorrow,

you better order up
something nice and soft

because you're gonna be
chewing with busted teeth.

Whoa, yeah!

I'm a killer.

Check it out.

Give me a hand
over here, killer.

You got that Lincoln spring?

Yeah, I got that
Lincoln spring.

- Give it up.
- Man, give some light.

Do you like me, Mr. Hinkley?

Of course, I like you.

You think I'm cheap?

Look, Rhonda.

My mother thinks
I'm cheap, but then

she's cheap, so
how would she know.

Look, Rhonda, I know you
think that there's something

going between us, but
I'm just your teacher.

Well, you know what you are?

You're spit, and I hope
Tony hurts you real bad.

Rhonda.

Just forget it because you
don't care, and nobody cares.

Rhonda!

Rhonda!

We'll be
ready in two minutes.

Notify the Vice President.

Oh, that'll be fine.

I want to talk to
the Vice President.

Ah, you're looking good, Adam.

I read the speech, Nelson.

It's kind of unrelenting.

Now, let's not
get cold feet now.

This is your chance to correct

that weak image
people have of you.

Well, it's just that
the policies are set

by the President,
and I think I...

I had hoped that it
wouldn't be necessary

to review your career,
but if you recall,

I got you the Vice
Presidential nomination.

I bought it two years
ago when you were

a nothing governor
from a nowhere state.

And now, I'm going
to put you in the

highest office in this nation.

I guess it's just that
I'm not a risk taker.

Is the
Vice President ready?

Is he, Adam?

I come to you with
feelings of remorse,

and the distinct
knowledge that I may be

on the brink of
political suicide.

I've decided to go
against party platforms

and to use my position to
point out growing concerns

I have on several international

and domestic issues
facing our nation.

Mr. Hinkley, I was
getting kind of worried.

You know, you said six
o'clock, and it's 11:30.

I had some car trouble.

Thanks for staying, Susan.

Kevin, okay?

Oh, he's terrific.

He's upstairs asleep.

Ms. Davidson called, said
to tell you it's important.

I gotta go.

Okay, how much do
I owe you, honey?

Thanks for the tip.

See ya!

We stand on a
terrible precipice.

The world waits for
us to make a move.

We cannot underestimate
the importance

of our domestic problems.

If our business community fails,

indeed, our entire nation fails.

Oh, please.

Would you look at this thing?

It's a bird.

It's a plane.

It's Ralph Hinkley.

Hello.

Hi, it's me.

Hi, how's everything
out on the desert?

What's up?

Well, tomorrow is about
the most important day

in this whole custody suit,
so dress for the occasion.

And remember, Alicia
will be pawing the ground

and breathing fire on our
little band of crusaders.

Oh, did you see her today?

Mm-mm, I spoke
to her attorney.

He told me she has
a beautiful tan

from her modeling
assignment in Brazil.

Apparently, the bathing suit
commercial was a total success.

She'll make lots
of money, and she's

all set to lavish it on Kevin.

Well, that's an
encouraging tidbit.

You sound down.

Yeah.

Look, Ralph, it's not
gonna be that tough.

As your attorney, I can
say we have it nailed down.

She's off all over the place
on these modeling assignments.

She can't be yanking him
in and out of schools.

We'll do just fine.

Remember, 12 o'clock,
County Courthouse,

Judge Nesson's
chambers, second floor.

Thanks, Pam.

Are you okay, hun?

You sound wasted.

I'll see you tomorrow.

Batman to Super
Friends, priority one emergency.

There's nothing
to worry about.

I should be able to neutralize
it with my super breath.

Batman to Robin, I'm

not getting good
enough readings.

Oh.

I've got to fly the

Batcopter into the
eye of the tornado.

Oh boy.

Hi, sailor.

Superman, men all over the
world are being dematerialized

by strange possessed
women with glowing eyes.

We need your help.

I'll contact the rest
of the Super Friends

and have them keep an eye
out for those strange women.

In seconds,
the call goes out

alerting the other Super Friends
to the impending emergency.

Hey, Kev,
would you get the phone?

What we need, Robin,

is one more Super
Friend that can fly.

Robin, prepare ion static rays.

It should break up the tornado.

Yeah!

It's Pam!

She says she wants
to talk to you.

Oh?

All right, Kev.

Why don't you go downstairs
and put the eggs on, all right?

What's going on?

How come the door's locked?

Oh, locked?

Can I come in?

Oh, yeah, let
me unlock the door, huh?

Daddy, what is that?

Kevin, come on now.

Don't ask silly questions.

Let's go downstairs
and talk to Pam.

You have a phone in here.

What was that, a cape?

Kevin, come on.

Come on.

Now, don't argue with me.

Yeah, hello, how you doing?

Well, I was worried
about you last night.

Oh, yeah, well I'm
doing much better now.

Thanks.

Okay, well just be on time.

12 o'clock, and don't worry.

Everything'll be fine.

Kiss Kevin for me.

Yeah, I will.

Thanks for calling, bye.

Are the
most powerful sources

of good ever
assembled, Superman,

Batman and Robin,
Wonder Woman, Aquaman,

dedicated to truth, justice,
and peace for all mankind.

What's that in the bag, Dad?

This?

Oh, it's nothing.

Listen, Kev, did
you happen to see

kind of a black
book type of binder

with lights in the
living room this morning?

Is it from school?

Tell you the truth, honey,

I don't know where it's from.

I didn't see one, Dad.

Darn it.

I must've lost it in the desert.

Is everything okay?

Yeah, everything is A-okay.

You know what?

We're both gonna
be late for school.

You gonna see Mommy today?

Say hi from me, okay?

Hey, listen, honey.

This thing with me
and Mommy, you know

that we both love ya,
and we both want ya.

And, I don't want
you to have to choose

'cause that's not fair,
but I just thought maybe

there's something you'd
like to to say about it.

I love you, and I love Mom.

Come here.

And I love you too, Kevin.

Let's go, huh?

It's still running, I hope.

Oh, a little early morning
humor aimed at taking

the sting out of
missing assembly, hm?

Star Spangled Banner
is a killer to sing.

I'm trying to slip
in a little late

these days, save the
strain on my voice.

So, who's the clown in
the upper school bathroom?

I think he's in
there throwing up.

And he says he's
a friend of yours.

Look, Dave, why don't you
give me some air, all right?

Hinkley, get that drunk out
of the upper school bathroom

before the assembly
is over, you got that?

Okay, I'll see what I can do.

Well, well, well,
Lawrence of Palmdale,

the old desert chicken.

How you doing, Bill?

I got an ulcer that kicks
up when I'm under stress.

Rye whiskey, why don't
you try some battery acid?

Not the best therapy, no.

I haven't been
drunk in 10 years.

I couldn't handle last night.

I don't believe in that
stuff, whatever it was.

Poor John walking around, dead.

We did see it.

It was real.

Yep.

There's something you
gotta know about me.

I'm by the book,
always have been,

always will be, by the book,
and it really bends my frame

when things get over
into the margins.

Into the margins.

I'd say we're clear
off the page here.

And I don't think
you're my kind of guy,

nothing personal
just a fact of life.

All this is kind of an apology

for running out
on you last night.

That's not my style,
either, definitely not,

so I apologize.

It's high on my all-time
list of favorites.

Listen, you gotta go.

I gotta class.

Whoa, wait a minute.

Just wait a second.

We got a little problem
here, you and me.

We got this suit or whatever

that we're supposed to use?

Is that the way you read it?

I'm supposed to use.

It's a small point, but
I think a pertinent one.

Well, what I got here,
what you don't got,

Mr. Hinkley, is a dead partner.

If you will recall, somebody
shot him full of holes,

which is a definite
no-no in my book.

That's the same one I mentioned

a moment ago, the one I go by.

All right, I think I
got a way for us to go.

First of all, I run the show.

You got any problem with that?

Yeah, a little
one, maybe a big one.

Tough.

You take your
instructions from me.

We figure out a
best-guess scenario

on what's going
on, work from that.

At least, until I find whoever
it was nailed John, okay?

Did you read the manual
yet, the instructions?

No.

I gotta go.

- Try on the suit?
- Well, sort of.

What happened?

Well, nothing really.

I haven't quite figured out
how it's supposed to work yet.

Well, you should've read
the instructions first.

It's bound to be weird.

Oh, I doubt that.

I think if they're as powerful
as we've already seen,

they would make it
fairly simple to use.

What's your address?

I'll go over and start reading.

- It's not there.
- Where is it?

- Lost.
- Come again?

The suit's in the car.

I lost the instruction book.

Come on, kid,
don't play around.

It's gone.

Disappeared right after you did

and before I got
back to the van.

I mean, it's a long walk.

It's almost a mile.

Yeah, I really got
me a live one here.

Oh, boy.

Look, I gotta go.

Listen, you call me
in a couple of days.

If I figure out how to make
it work, we can meet then.

We'll figure it out
now, butterfingers.

And the next time I
tell you something,

the only thing I
wanna hear out of you

is, "Yes, sir," or, "How soon?"

That's all.

That's it.

That's the basic drill.

I'm the guy with
the suit, Mr. Maxwell.

You give me any
problems, I'm gonna

turn you into 170
pounds of dog chow.

Now, you call me in
a couple of days.

That's the drill.

Oh.

Try not to lose the suit.

That's it, now get it up.

That's it, stick him.

Stick him, that's right.

Hey, hey, hey, come on, ref!

Hey, Tony, come on, man!

Tony, come on!

Hey, late shot?

I'll give you a late shot.

All right, listen to me now.

Here's what we gotta do.

Now, I want you to dig and
stick this guy and move.

Now, go to the body on him.

Go to the body.

Keep your right up and
stick and dig and move

and stick and stick and stick
and move and dig and stick.

Okay?

Okay, here we go, pal.

You got it.

All right, we got this kid.

He's ours!

The kid's ours!

Go get him, Ralphie boy!

Stick, jab, jab, that's it!

That's it, that's it!

Come on!

Hey, hey, ref, watch the trip!

That's it, that's it!

Good fight.

One, one, and even, it's a draw.

- A draw?
- Come on!

Hey, Mr. Hinkley, you want
some more, you just ask.

No, Tony, you got
too much for me.

Yeah, spin a guy all the way!

Hey, Mr. H., Hinkley.

Yeah, I'm sorry about
that late shot, you know?

I ain't used to fighting
rules, so it was like a reflex.

I accept your apology.

Hey, I wasn't apologizing.

I was, like, explaining.

Well, Tony, I accept
your explanation.

See, with me, it's
like respect, you know?

I mean, you got a guy's respect,
you got everything, right?

Yeah,
yeah, that's true.

So, okay, you come down here,

you put on the gloves with me,

you take one hell of a beating,

and I'm saying, "Hey, it
takes a big dude," right?

So, okay, I'm also
saying maybe I was wrong.

But I'm also saying you
mess with my squeeze,

I'm gonna have to pop
you in the melon again.

Tony, I'm not interested
in Rhonda, believe me.

I'm just trying to
teach her, that's all.

Maybe she needs some of that
respect you're talking about.

You ever think about that?

Hey, man, she's just a
girl, you know what I mean?

Yeah, well, listen, she's
got feelings just like you,

and all you guys, you treat her

like she's some
kind of a pushover.

She likes you.

She likes me because I treat
her with respect, that's all.

Why don't you try that?

Listen, send her some flowers.

I gotta go.

Flowers?

Hey, I ain't no Cary Grant.

Oh no, I'll never make court.

What?

The suit, no,
mad idea.

Stay on the ground, boy.

Boy, I hate this.

I really hate this.

Jeez, in a toilet
putting on long

underwear, where's
my life going?

I'm gonna miss court.

Jesus, if I get
caught, I am dead.

Jerry, how many times
does Daddy have to tell you?

Tell me when you have to go,
and not wait until it's too...

Oh, hi.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I didn't know the
bathroom was in use.

Oh yeah, I'm a...

We can come back.

No, that's all right.

I'm leaving.

I just needed to get this
cape attached to my...

Look, I know this seems
really nuts, but I'm not,

see, what I'm doing here is I'm

late for a court
appearance, and...

Look, it's okay.

It's okay, really.

Look, we're all through anyways.

No, it's all right.

No, don't touch us!

Look, I don't know what
you want to do with us.

We're leaving!

My boy and I aren't safe!

You want to do
something about this?

Hey, I'm all through!

It's all yours!

And don't tell me
he's a ballet dancer!

He's in there with a
cape on and some tights!

You're not doing it right.

Huh?

You're not doing it right.

You gotta run like three steps

and jump with your hands
out in front of you.

Oh, see, I've never
done this before.

It's my first, what
do you call it?

Flight.

My Daddy's calling the police.

Terrific.

Three steps, huh?

You jump hard,
like off a diving board.

You're not very good at this.

Tell me about it, kid.

Damn.

We got another
trendsetter here.

Where do we get these guys?

How do we feel?

Oh, I don't know.

I just hit this wall here.

It's the first of
many is my guess.

You got a wallet tucked in
your little outfit here?

I'd like to get some ID.

I think I lost it.

Look.

I know I look kind
of silly here.

I know you think I'm some kind

of grade A mental
case, but I'm not.

My name is Ralph Hinkley,
and I'm a schoolteacher.

You teach modern
dance or something?

I'm a special ed teacher.

Now, look.

I didn't do anything.

What I did here isn't
against the law.

How about we take a
little ride, Mr. Hinkley,

by County Hospital, maybe
get a psychiatric profile?

You know, just
for the fun of it.

Now, how does that sound?

Please, don't do this.

Now, this can go
down easy, or it

can go down hard, Mr. Hinkley.

Either way, it's okay with us.

My cape is...

Ah, right, sorry.

- Dr.
- Parker, Dr. Phil Parker,

emergency admitting.

This is a mistake.

- Mm-hm.
- I don't need to be here.

Aha, just have a seat.

Everything's gonna be just fine.

Look, look, Howard.

Well, if you ask me, the guy

needs a little air in his tires.

Apparently, the guy was out
for a little afternoon stroll

and punched his head
into a brick wall.

Just for laughs, I guess.

Anyway, Dave and I would
like somebody to show him

the square blocks or round holes

'cause I think the guy's
running on pure ether.

May have a concussion as well

'cause he was out
when we found him.

Uh-huh, we have an admittance,
security station room six.

Orderly, please!

Well, now how's that head Mr...

Hinkley, Ralph Hinkley.

Now, look, I know that
you think that I'm nuts,

but the fact of
the matter is I was

on my way to a friend's house.

This is a practical joke.

I fell down, and these
policemen, they picked me up,

and they brought me in
here, but I'm not crazy.

I'm not.

Really, I'm not crazy.

Well, why don't we just go on

back here and see
about that head?

I'm not crazy!

That's a bad outfit, Jim.

Is there someone
we should notify?

Pam Davidson,
she's an attorney.

She's at Judge Nesson's
office at the courthouse.

I just missed an
appointment with her.

I've gotta talk to her.

Listen, I'm not crazy.

Believe me, I'm not.

We'll call her, orderly.

This has been
a terrible mistake.

Hey!

This was a practical joke.

See, I'm not crazy.

See, this was a practical joke.

Here we are, room six.

Oh boy, oh, wait, oh boy.

Hey, you know what?

- Relax.
- But I feel much...

Just relax.

These straps have been
stress-tested at 5,000 pounds.

Okay, that's it.

Let's go.

Hi,
I'm a friend of Jesus.

Yeah, what's up?

Could
I come in for a second?

I'd like to tell you
about our good work.

You're coming with us.

We've got the Lord's work to do.

What on God's earth
are you wearing?

Alicia hired a
private detective.

He showed up at the
courthouse just before I left.

He had a picture of you lying
under a wall in that suit.

He said the cops arrested you.

Then, I got a call from the
nurse, and I came right over.

I assume there's some sort
of rational explanation.

Yeah, there's an explanation.

I'm not so sure it's
all that rational.

Are you all right?

You look ridiculous.

Well, thank you.

Gee, I'm glad you
like the outfit.

It's quite a
showstopper, isn't it?

You guys are Gabriel's
Army, aren't you?

You killed my
partner, John Mackie.

Agent Mackie
found his salvation.

Where are you taking me?

To your salvation.

Salvation?

Salvation?

Can't you see that?

It's a wall.

I see a wall.

What do you see?

It's the suit.

Okay, Ralph, you sit down, and

I'm gonna go get a doctor, okay?

Looks like Sand
Canyon highway.

Oh, really?

Is it a painting of the highway?

Where's your car?

It's in the parking lot.

I'd fly, but I haven't
quite got the hang of it yet.

- Fly?
- I gotta get out of here.

Ralph, I think
you're very sick.

I don't know why, or how it
could've happened so quickly,

but maybe it was the strain
of Alicia coming back

and filing for custody
of Kevin or something.

I don't know, but
whatever it is,

we've got to get you
straight in one big hurry.

You see, if the judge
gets his hands on this,

you can forget ever keeping
Kevin or retaining custody.

You think I like this?

You think I like
wearing this silly suit?

I didn't ask for this, Pam.

And I don't have time to sit
around discussing it with you.

I gotta get out of here.

They have Bill.

Bill?

Hey, hold it.

Ralph?

Ralph!

Ralph, give me those
keys right now!

I'm not fooling!

If you think I'm gonna let
you drive off in that suit!

Come on!

At least sit on the cape.

What on earth is going on?

If I told you, you'd
sign my commitment form.

Oh, try me.

I have a very broad mind.

It won't be broad
enough, believe me.

Ralph, I dearly
care about you.

I even...

I love you.

I wouldn't tell you this
now, but I think I have

a heavy emotional
stake in your future.

That's terrific, Pam, and I
feel the same way about you.

I really do.

I mean, after this
custody thing was over...

Ralph, talk to me, please.

Well, I was gonna...

We'll deal with it
together, whatever it is.

Are you sure?

I'm ready.

I can handle anything.

Okay, okay, last night, I was

approached by a flying
saucer out in the desert.

Anyway, this saucer, they talked

to us over the car radio, and
Bill's partner, he's a G-man,

he came out of the
saucer, but he was dead,

and he had this package under
his arm, and he gave it to me.

And...

There were instructions
on how to use this suit,

but I lost them,
and I tried to fly

to the courthouse because I was

in this terrible traffic jam,
but I couldn't fly straight.

And I went into this wall, and

I got hauled off and arrested.

It's a 20 on the
Richter scale, isn't it?

You should try it
from where I sit.

I mean, I could kill the
guy that designed this suit.

Why couldn't it have narrow
lapels and a cutaway jacket?

Why did it have to be
long johns and a cape?

I put this thing on, I feel
like I'm six years old.

And we're leaving for

I've been replaced by neon
lights and the mini-malls

And from a
violence infection

Kids are dying
in the streets

A vain attempt
to save the town

Took her soul

Ralph, what are you doing?

Ralph, stay on the road.

Don't think that this is not

Your town

Well, things you
held dear cannot

Be found

Though it hurts
a soul to see

There's any place
you'd rather be

Well, don't think
that this is not

Your town

Well, don't think
that this is not

Your town

Well, I told them,
don't you know

Where this used to be

Well, don't you
think it is time

To end this after me

Mr. Maxwell, you seem to have

some interest in
my desert property.

Who are you?

Well, let's just
say I'm somebody

you should try very
hard to please.

Take him to Judas.

More little green men?

This place belongs
to Nelson Corey.

Oh no!

Why would one
of the richest men

in the world want to
kidnap Bill Maxwell?

You go in there and you
know what's gonna happen?

You're gonna be sent
away for so long,

when you get out, this suit's
gonna actually be in style.

Mackie said something
terrible was gonna happen.

He told Bill that we had to
accept the responsibility.

Pam, I want you to take the car,

drive down the road
and wait for me.

If I'm not back in 45
minutes, you call the police.

You hit your head.

You're not thinking straight.

Are you gonna help me or not?

Look at it this way.

You're one step
ahead of Lois Lane.

She never found out who
Clark Kent really was.

Not funny.

My parents are coming in from

Michigan next week to meet you.

Let's try the little suit, and
the Lois Lane jokes on them.

They're gonna love it.

Damn.

Whoa!

Damn.

We're offering
you a chance to come

to grips with your eventual
salvation.

You guys are beautiful.

You are about as religious
as a Las Vegas nightclub.

It won't help you
to antagonize us.

It'll be all over
by eight tonight.

We'll be in control.

Control of what?

You'll find out when the
rest of the world does,

that is if you're
still among the living.

You make me sick.

Bunch of chicken, hot
shot, political terrorists

hiding out, trying to
fake some kind of religion

while you're stashing
away the goodies,

the machine guns and
the grenades, right?

Now, we got this
wacko Nelson Corey

with the big Gs behind
you, what's that all about?

What do you got?

What I wanna know, Brother
William, is how many people

know the location of
that desert property?

How much information you
turn over to your superiors?

Go ahead, take your best shot.

I've been here with better
switch-hitters than you.

The Lord works
in mysterious ways.

His wonders to perform.

So do people.

Go ahead, I could
really care less.

Damn.

I knew it.

I knew it.

I knew you'd be there!

I've never been so
scared in my life.

These guys are really bananas.

One of them's got a key.

Who needs a key?

Look at you in long
johns and a cape.

Would you knock it off?

What else does it do?

Well, learn as you go,
let's get out of here.

All units, security breach.

Red alert, red alert.

Units 16, 23, 47,
east wall perimeter.

Units 12, 14, 26, west
wall gate and security.

All other units, north
and south perimeters.

This is not a drill.

I repeat, this is not a drill.

All units, security breach.

Red alert, red alert.

Units 16, 23, 47,
east wall perimeter.

Units 12, 14, 26.

How do we get out?

Fly, I guess.

Can you carry me?

Well, I don't know.

You know, I have
this control problem.

I seem to yaw or
pitch to the right...

No offense, kid, will
you explain it to me later?

Damn.

What did you do that for?

What happened?

Hurry up.

What's going on, Ralph?

We're hot!

We have been breached.

Push the button on L.A. now.

Notify the others
that we're in motion,

phase one, five hours
to confrontation.

I want you to find
where the President is.

Give me an hourly report
on his movements, now.

Bring the Vice
President to me now.

My head feels like 20
pounds of Silly Putty.

Next time we go flying
together, try not

to make me your
landing pad, please.

So, you guys went flying.

Who is she?

Who are you?

Pam Davidson, my attorney,
this is Bill Maxwell.

We're in the superhero
business together.

Hello, what attorney?

You're too pretty.

So, my son the flyer, the
magic suit really works.

I mean, outside of a
little barrel roll problem

you got there, which
you're gonna solve,

that thing really
son of a gun works.

I wonder what that
material's made out of.

We should have a hundred of 'em.

That was my best earth shoes.

Superman, he used to stash his
clothes in the phone booth,

and then he'd come back
and he'd pick 'em up later.

Try that today, get
ripped off in 10 seconds.

Boy, this is gonna
cost me a fortune.

And what is your interest in

this enterprise, Ms. Davidson?

Oh, I'm just here to
do the Lois Lane jokes.

Other than that, I
really am an attorney.

And something of
a feminist, I bet.

Bill likes to get his
labels on secure, so he won't

lose his way during any
semi-complicated discussions.

I'll tell you one
thing, if you wanna know,

our little green guys, whoever
they are, made one mistake.

They gave the suit
to the wrong guy.

I've been in this
game for 20 years,

and when the chips go down,
they give you the pigskin,

and old Maxwell gets
the shovel, again.

What am I doing
hooked up with you?

We couldn't agree on
how to make Kool-Aid.

All I need right now
is another $2 haircut,

telling me where to go,
and how high to jump.

Shut up, shut up!

Now, pull up over
there off the road!

Come on, both of
you, out of the car!

I'm struggling to get
you a postponement

on the custody case,
and all you can think of

are some earth shoes you
lost when you went flying.

And you, you, Mr. Maxworth...

Maxwell, and you're gorgeous
when you're mad, sweetheart.

I have had it.

Pam.

Hold it.

Wait a minute!

She's right.

We're fragmented here.

We need organization.

We need command decisions,
and we need them now.

Command decisions
happen to be my fort.

Now...

That's forte.

I also teach English.

Pam, look, I know
you think I'm nuts,

but I'm not.

Believe me.

Good god, Ralph, super powers.

How can you be serious?

Hold it!

No offense, kid, you
can make some decisions.

What are you doing?

Pam!

Pam, Pam, come on.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Pam, come on, wake up.

Wake up.

Wake up.

Will you stop that?

Everything you told me
about the flying saucers

and the super powers,
it's all true?

Yeah.

What are you gonna do?

A-ha, finally a
straight question.

What are we gonna do?

Well, you know the Russians are

stomping all over
us in the arms race.

Might as well be
1964, it's true.

Just the fact that
we have the suit

could turn the whole
Cold War around.

Bill, it's not 1964.

There is no Cold War.

What's the matter with you?

Okay, try this scenario.

Once my boy here gets
the hang of flying,

he could come right in
across the Adriatic,

across Turkey, and straight in

to the Leningrad
missile complex.

Raise hell with that
program over there.

Take an afternoon off, weekend.

Knock out a nuke sub.

Or the radar complex at
Stalingrad, how about that.

This is an
outstanding military...

Pam, are you all right?

I guess, except I have
this droning in my ear.

You keep on making the
jokes, the both of you.

That's terrific.

That's wonderful,
really, really helpful.

Well, it's either that
or break out crying.

This finishes us, Ralph.

How do I marry a guy in
a cape and long johns?

How do you work this into
a successful marriage?

Pam, wait a minute.

I hear the Reds
got a laser canon

that they are working on.

How about we go in and steal
that little sucker, huh?

Huh, huh?

I'm telling
you, this thing has

got some real
fire-breathing potential.

We could finish off
detente forever.

Pam, I know it's
a bummer, but let's

just not say that it can't work.

Oh,
great, I stay home

and plant flowers
in window boxes

while you two spend the
weekend knocking out

laser centers and Russian subs.

Get serious.

It's not gonna be
like that, believe me.

Boys and girls, do
you think we could put

your marriage plans
in the old foot locker

just till we get this Nelson
Corey thing unscrambled.

Because something very big
and very scary is going on,

and I would like to be able
to brief the two of you

on the subject so that we
could noodle it together,

but I can't do that until
I can get your attention.

Okay, go ahead.

Wait a minute, wait
a minute, slow down.

I'm still trying to
adjust to all this.

You cannot step off
a rollercoaster, honey,

just because it's
going too fast.

He's right.

We're in this, we
have to do something.

Whoa, correct me if I'm wrong,

but is this not our very first

point of agreement on anything?

I believe it is, Bill.

Well, a ray of
sunshine, shall we dance?

If there was more time,
we ought to go back

to the desert, take
it from that end.

You said one of
these guys was bragging

it was gonna be over
at eight tonight.

Yeah.

Well, that's four
hours from now.

Yeah, so scratch the desert.

We have to go back
in on this end.

At that mansion,
it would be dark.

That ought to help.

I wish I could tell you what
was going on, boys and girls,

but I can't because I don't
know, and I don't really care.

We're gonna ram a crooked
stick into this hornet's nest

and turn it 'til we
can hear 'em sing.

I don't know about
you two, but I am

starting to get very frightened.

Now, why don't we just call one

of your superiors
and get some help.

Oh good, that's
terrific, counselor.

What are you gonna tell 'em?

That we saw a spaceship,
that it talked to us,

Ralph has some long
underwear and a cape

that makes him fly
around in the sky?

Oh, Ralph.

That's a straight shot
to the rubber room, honey.

You already seen that once.

He's right.

We have to do this on our own.

I like the way you think, kid.

You're starting
to think like me.

Kind of bulges
out, ruins the lines.

You did
call a babysitter?

We gotta get out of here.

Wait a minute.

Moving in fast,
seeking to gain control.

State militia leader,
Colonel David L. Shackleford,

stated that guard troops are
quickly gaining the upper hand

in the strife-torn
areas of Los Angeles.

Where's your TV?

Tension and
unrest in these poverty areas

of Los Angeles has long been
a concern of officials here.

What puzzles sources
close to this area

is that there were
no early warnings.

Vice President Adam Taft,
in Los Angeles at the time...

Urban
areas have not

received additional
federal monies.

The President is
reported to be arriving

for a helicopter tour of
the area this evening.

The Vice
President has been outspoken

in his feelings of
blinded urban areas must

receive additional
federal monies.

The President is
reported to be arriving

for a helicopter tour of
the area this evening.

Updates on this
station as they occur.

I think this business

with Gabriel's Army
is tied to the riots.

Okay, the Vice
President is here.

The President is
coming to Los Angeles.

Could they be trying
to get him here?

Certainly got to
be put in the mix.

Have you two noticed
how much of Adam Taft

we've been seeing on TV lately.

It's almost as if someone were
trying to redesign his image.

Nelson Corey,
he put a whole lot

of dough into Taft in the past.

Wanted to run him for President.

Didn't work out.

It's in his eyes only
file at the bureau.

Are you saying this
insanity has something to do

with getting Taft
in the Oval Office?

Well, we're just running it
past the scanner, sweetheart.

Trying to find a
little radioactivity.

We gotta find
a way to warn the

President, even
if it's a mistake.

Maybe this guy
Shackleford, he's

running the whole show out here.

He has to be in touch
with Washington.

We'd cut through a lot of
red tape, we took it to him.

That's Rhonda.

Hey, Rhonda, what you
want us here for anyway?

Just relax for one minute,
and you'll find out, okay?

Come on.

Hey, Rhonda's got
a dress on, woo!

I thought you
could stay with Kevin.

He'll be home in
about 20 minutes.

Hey, look here,
this is the guy

from the what-do-you-call-it.

I don't like this guy, Mr. H.

Tony Villicana, I want
you to meet Bill Maxwell.

He's with the
federal government.

How's your draft status, kid?

You all registered
and everything?

Hey, I like him now.

This guy here's a grade-A
government beef here.

Come on, we gotta
get out of here.

All right, hey,
thanks, Rhonda.

Make yourself at home, you guys.

- Later, Mr. H.
- Bye bye.

Man, this is
something, babysitting.

If this ever gets
out, I'm ruined.

But doesn't it mean
anything to you, Tony,

that he's trusting
us with his own kid?

You know, I'm gettin'
real tired of being trash.

Hey, come on, Rhonda.

You ain't trash.

Aw, Tony, that's
the way everybody

treats me, everybody except him.

Did you say
something, chump?

She's right,
Villicana, you know?

Yeah, you too.

Normally, I'd
say this is nuts,

but it does dovetail
with some G2 of my own.

We've taken two members
of Gabriel's Army,

and we questioned
them under pentothal.

We didn't get as
much as we'd hoped.

But we do suspect
that this riot was

only phase one of a larger plan.

We'd better warn the President.

He's already in LA.

We've got an hour
and 15 minutes.

We'll take the staff car.

Where we heading?

Relax, Mr. Maxwell.

Just sit quiet, all of you.

I should've seen it.

You had to be in it, the
whole National Guard.

Not the whole Guard,
just me and my aide.

It will all be over
in a very short while.

Maybe not.

Take
care of these people.

I have Maxwell.

Well, you have
caused me some concern.

You'll never get away with it.

And you're...

Ralph Hinkley.

A fed?

Who does he work for?

I work for Whitney High.

I'm a special ed teacher.

Get them out of here.

Debrief them and give me
the report in 20 minutes.

Get
Brother Michael.

Tell him to bring his things.

We'll start with the girl.

Start with the girl?

Somebody has to go
first, sweetheart.

Do your stuff, kid.

You think this guy
Corey might be a Red?

He just wants to
rig the government.

He's a megalomaniac.

Ah, we need some cover.

Why don't I get that light?

Yeah.

Why don't you just fly
up there and unscrew it?

I'm not a moth.

I can't just fly
up there and hover.

- I don't think.
- Watch your eyes, honey.

Make the call.

Shh, shh,
I hear something.

Arthur?

It's Adam.

May I speak with the President?

Sir, it's Adam.

I'm with Nelson
Corey at his house.

I'd like to go with you when
you make a tour of the area.

Yes, sir.

If you could land here and
pick me up, I'd appreciate it.

Yes, there's a heliport.

Your pilot has the coordinates.

Yes, sir.

Goodbye.

Well?

He'll land here in 25
minutes and pick me up.

Excellent, phase three, now.

All right, as soon as he lands,

he and his party will
be taken prisoner.

He'll immediately be loaded
back on the aircraft.

Colonel Shackleford, you'll
pilot it out over the ocean.

According to plan, you
will disable it, bail out,

and then we have a
brand new President,

and somebody else will
be in the cat-bird seat.

Right, Adam?

Ta-da!

Get the guns.

Ralph.

Here you go, sweetheart.

I don't want this thing.

How do you turn it on?

Just point it and look tough.

Try to point it at the same
guys I'm pointing mine at.

Ralph.

I'm sorry, Pam.

It's coming at you fast.

It must be hard, huh?

Try impossible.

Hey, if you two are finished?

Look tough.

Okay, now, you set
up a disturbance.

Pam and I will try to get the
drop on Corey and Shackleford.

Make enough of a
racket, tell you,

the local cops will show up.

Maybe?

Listen, Bill, I hate to be
a crick at this late date,

but don't you think that
plan is a little bit sketchy?

It's sketchy, it stinks.

You got a better
one, let's hear it.

Somebody ought to keep
the President from landing.

She's got a good
point there, Bill.

Well, it's got
to be up to you.

Buzz or something, anything.

Buzz him?

You mean, fly up
at that helicopter?

Yeah.

Listen, man, I
am Captain Crash.

I navigate like I was
hit with a can of Raid.

This suit belongs
in the Smithsonian.

How am I gonna
buzz that chopper?

I don't know.

I don't have the instructions.

Now, it's up to you.

- Take it or leave it.
- Somebody's coming.

I don't think you
understand, Bill.

I don't seem to have
my sense of balance.

Neither
do I, otherwise I

wouldn't be hooked up with you.

Tell the President I have Mr.

Corey's launching pad in sight.

We'll be setting down
in less than a minute.

Well,
here goes nothing.

We have a fast-approaching
unidentified object.

Get out
of here, dummy!

Don't let him get away!

Shoot him down!

Tell the President
I'm going to abort.

Get out of here!

The light, go for the light!

Kill him, kill him!

- Hey!
- Hey!

Hold it!

You're under arrest.

Tell them, baby, you go first.

Tell them, tell them!

I'd better get out of
here before the police come.

Can you handle it?

Ralph, we'll manage.

Look at him.

I've got some
scenario cooking.

A couple of weeks,
them Reds won't

know what hit 'em.

Look at what's
happened to me

I can't believe it myself

Suddenly I'm up on
top of the world

It should've been
somebody else

Believe it or not,
I'm walking on air

I never thought I
could feel so free

Flying away on a
wing and a prayer

Who could it be

Believe it or
not, it's just me

Who could it be

Believe it or
not, it's just me

That still don't
explain it, Mr. H.

I mean, I could see
what they're saying

about this Nelson Corey guy
trying to kill the President,

but what I don't get is these
reports about this thing,

this what-do-you-call-it
flying around and everything.

I mean, these shaved-headed guys

say they saw a
guy flying around.

You don't believe
that, do you, Tony?

I mean, really,
like in the funnies,

a guy flying around in a
cape catching villains?

It is kind of
farfetched, ain't it?

But this guy,
Maxwell, the flat-top

from out in the
diner, your friend,

well, you know, he
called in the cops.

I figured maybe you had
a little inside dope.

Not me.

Well, I'm just trying to
teach school, that's all.

You know, Rhonda's
thinking about going

back to high school in the fall.

What do you think?

I think that's a great idea.

Yeah, but she wouldn't
be with us then.

You know, she'd be some kind of

cheerleader with them straights.

There's nothing
wrong with that, Tony.

I'm straight.

You, you?

Come on, Mr. H.

You're different.

I'm diggin' where
you're coming from.

You're not a bad guy, Mr. H.

I'll see you in
the funny papers.

Damn.

Why are we meeting up here?

Because Maxwell said
to meet him up here.

I gotta tell you,
everything this guy does

is like a page out of the Dick
Tracy Crimestoppers handbook.

The old flashing
headlight routine.

What are you doing?

You're not supposed
to honk the horn.

Remember, I said security
hookup, lights only.

Kid, you really are hopeless.

Look, Bill, can we cut
the cloak and dagger stuff?

You know, we almost
blew it on this one,

with people running around
like Chicken Little,

screaming, "Oh, I saw a
man flying in the sky."

Fortunately, they all got
written off as wacko cuckoos.

Our lawyer tells us some PI got

a picture of you in the suit.

Now, I gotta figure out a
way to clean his windshield.

What I'm trying
to say is we gotta

start running this thing my way.

That's it.

I call it, I run it.

We start running a squeaky
clean operation, okay?

Some scenarios here.

Oh, come on, Bill.

Let's not have any scenarios.

And we gotta get you buckled
into this thing full-time.

First off, you quit your job
in that teenage lunatic asylum.

I'm not quitting my job.

How am I supposed to eat?

Go down to the welfare office

and stand in the superhero line?

I need my job.

I like to teach.

You call sitting on top of
that ash can cover, a job?

Look, Bill.

I'm very tired,
and quite frankly,

I don't know if I want to
let you call the shots.

Well, kid, that is
abundantly clear to me,

but, if I'm not supposed to
run this show, then why did

our friends from the
Twilight Zone put me aboard?

Comic relief?

I'm trying to tell
you I agree with you.

I would've much preferred to be

the glory guy, the guy
with the magic suit,

but it didn't work out that way,

so I'm just gonna have to settle

for being the brains
of this outfit.

- Uh...
- Whoa, whoa, wait a minute.

Just let me finish because I've

given this thing
a lot of thought.

Well, more correctly, I've
given you a lot of thought.

Without getting mushy,
I want you to know

that when we started this thing,

I thought you were just
another 25-cent beach boy.

But I got a lot of
respect for the way

you handled yourself
in this caper.

Oh, really?

- Yes.
- Thank you.

You stood in there,
you carried your weight,

you charged that helicopter,
you got the job done,

and you made me, I'm tellin'
you, you made me feel good.

No, not good.

Proud, that maybe,
maybe it was really true

that you and me could
mean something here.

Hey, Bill, thank you.

That's really nice.

Yeah, it is.

I also been giving
a lot of thought

to my Cold War scenario,
and I was wrong.

What do you think of that?

There's plenty of trouble right

here in the good old US of A.

So, maybe we ought to
sweep out our own tent

before we run off in the bushes

trying to clean out
somebody else's.

For now, we stick to
the local stuff, okay?

0900 hours, tomorrow, my place,

we build us a
couple of scenarios.

I'm proud to have
you on my team, kid.

Oh, hey, I'm sorry, Bill.

I have the suit on underneath.

It's okay.

No, Bill, I
heard a bone crack.

We should at least
get it X-rayed.

No sweat.

Gee, Bill, I'm sorry.

I really am.

It's nothing.

Well, I guess I'll...

I'll pull out.

Hey, do you want a ride home?

I mean, we got
plenty of room here.

Bill, you sure you can make...

All right.

You broke his hand.

I really think you
broke his hand.

Bill!

Does any of this feel
familiar to you, Bill?

- You.
- Have.

- Done.
- Well.

We.

Are.

Satisfied.

You.

Should.

Try.

Power.

Of.

Invisible.

Good luck.

Powers of invisibility, what?

What?

How do you do it?

What powers of invisibility?

I lost the instruction book!

Wait!

Wait, don't go!

Believe it or not,
I'm walking on air

I never thought I
could feel so free

Flying away on a
wing and a prayer

Who could it be

Believe it or
not, it's just me

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