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1
00:00:10,144 --> 00:00:12,513
- * ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR
FIVE, SIX *
2
00:00:12,546 --> 00:00:13,647
* SHAKE IT, DUDE
3
00:00:13,681 --> 00:00:21,589
*
4
00:00:35,436 --> 00:00:37,438
- * CUE THE PULSE TO BEGIN
5
00:00:46,247 --> 00:00:49,717
* CUE THE PULSE TO BEGIN
6
00:00:49,750 --> 00:00:53,554
* CUE THE PULSE TO BEGIN
7
00:00:53,587 --> 00:00:56,524
* CUE THE PULSE TO BEGIN
8
00:00:59,593 --> 00:01:01,729
- HEY, WHAT DO YOU WANT ME
TO DO WITH THESE?
9
00:01:01,762 --> 00:01:04,732
[indistinct chatter]
10
00:01:07,135 --> 00:01:08,736
- OKAY, I'LL TAKE THESE
TO THE WAREHOUSE.
11
00:01:08,769 --> 00:01:10,738
I'LL BE BACK IN AN HOUR.
12
00:01:10,771 --> 00:01:13,441
- WAIT, WAIT.
GRAB THESE.
13
00:01:13,474 --> 00:01:16,544
- WE HAVE TO BE OUT OF HERE
BY THE END OF THE DAY.
14
00:01:36,630 --> 00:01:39,233
[chatter continues]
15
00:01:50,178 --> 00:01:52,580
- HEY, WHAT ABOUT
THESE LIFE-SIZED CUTOUTS?
16
00:01:54,515 --> 00:01:56,350
- IT ALL SEEMS TO BE
COMING TOGETHER--
17
00:01:56,384 --> 00:01:58,219
NO GLITCHES
THAT I CAN FORESEE.
18
00:01:58,252 --> 00:01:59,620
EVERYTHING LOOKS GOOD.
19
00:01:59,653 --> 00:02:01,222
NEW LEASE
HAS BEEN SIGNED,
20
00:02:01,255 --> 00:02:02,490
THE LIQUOR LICENSE
HAS BEEN TRANSFERRED
21
00:02:02,523 --> 00:02:03,891
INTO THE NAME
OF KINNETIKORP.
22
00:02:03,924 --> 00:02:05,893
YOU'VE GOT ENOUGH INSURANCE
THAT IF SOMEONE
23
00:02:05,926 --> 00:02:07,695
SO AS MUCH SNEEZES,
YOU'RE PROTECTED.
24
00:02:07,728 --> 00:02:10,764
IN SHORT,
THE JOINT'S ALL YOURS.
25
00:02:10,798 --> 00:02:13,234
- THEODORE, YOU ARE A MARVEL.
26
00:02:13,267 --> 00:02:15,169
- ALTHOUGH WHEN I SAID,
"GO BUY YOURSELF A NEW TOY,"
27
00:02:15,203 --> 00:02:16,904
THIS ISN'T EXACTLY THE TOY
I HAD IN MIND.
28
00:02:16,937 --> 00:02:18,372
- HEY, IT SAYS ON THE BOX
29
00:02:18,406 --> 00:02:20,641
"APPROPRIATE FOR BOYS
AGES 19 TO 30,"
30
00:02:20,674 --> 00:02:23,611
SO STOP FRETTING, MOTHER,
I CAN AFFORD IT.
31
00:02:25,546 --> 00:02:27,515
- ARE YOU SURE WE
CAN AFFORD IT?
32
00:02:27,548 --> 00:02:29,550
- WE DID THE MATH
A DOZEN TIMES.
33
00:02:29,583 --> 00:02:31,785
EVEN WITHOUT THE MOVIE,
WE EACH HAVE ENOUGH INCOME,
34
00:02:31,819 --> 00:02:34,255
PLUS THE MONEY WE'VE SAVED.
35
00:02:34,288 --> 00:02:35,923
- I JUST NEED
SOME REASSURANCE.
36
00:02:35,956 --> 00:02:38,659
- OH.
37
00:02:38,692 --> 00:02:41,395
MMM, HOW'S THAT?
38
00:02:41,429 --> 00:02:43,531
- I'M ALREADY THINKING
COLOR SCHEME.
39
00:02:43,564 --> 00:02:45,533
- OOH.
40
00:02:45,566 --> 00:02:47,835
- ALL THE BACK ROOM NEEDS
IS A FRESH COAT OF BLACK PAINT
41
00:02:47,868 --> 00:02:49,803
AND A CONDOM DISPENSER.
42
00:02:49,837 --> 00:02:52,973
- WHAT ABOUT PINK WALLS
WITH A SKY-BLUE CEILING
43
00:02:53,006 --> 00:02:55,543
AND WHITE, FLUFFY CLOUDS
FOR THE BABY'S ROOM?
44
00:02:55,576 --> 00:02:57,278
- YEAH, IT'S AMAZING
HOW WITH A FEW SIMPLE TOUCHES,
45
00:02:57,311 --> 00:02:58,679
YOU CAN TURN
A TIRED OLD ROOM
46
00:02:58,712 --> 00:03:00,514
INTO A FRESH
AND INVITING SPACE.
47
00:03:00,548 --> 00:03:02,316
- OR WE COULD WALLPAPER.
48
00:03:02,350 --> 00:03:04,418
REMEMBER HOW MONTY AND ELI
HAD THEIR KIDS' ROOM WALLPAPERED
49
00:03:04,452 --> 00:03:05,853
WITH DISNEY CHARACTERS?
50
00:03:05,886 --> 00:03:07,555
- AND, UH, GET
A CLEANING CREW IN HERE
51
00:03:07,588 --> 00:03:10,691
TO JACKHAMMER
THE DRIED CUM OFF THE FLOOR.
52
00:03:10,724 --> 00:03:13,294
- HALF OF IT'S PROBABLY YOURS.
53
00:03:13,327 --> 00:03:15,229
- WITH ALL THIS SPACE,
54
00:03:15,263 --> 00:03:16,764
AT LEAST WE WON'T BE
ON TOP OF EACH OTHER.
55
00:03:16,797 --> 00:03:19,967
- YEAH,
UNLESS WE CHOOSE TO BE.
56
00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:23,304
- I WANT TO REOPEN BY FRIDAY.
- FRIDAY?
57
00:03:23,337 --> 00:03:25,239
THIS FRIDAY?
BUT THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.
58
00:03:25,273 --> 00:03:26,707
- WELL, YOU SAID EVERY DAY
59
00:03:26,740 --> 00:03:28,476
THAT WE'RE CLOSED,
WE'RE LOSING MONEY.
60
00:03:28,509 --> 00:03:29,877
- YEAH, BUT WE STILL NEED TO
LINE UP BARTENDERS, GO-GO BOYS,
61
00:03:29,910 --> 00:03:31,312
A NEW MANAGER...
62
00:03:31,345 --> 00:03:32,446
WELL, THEN YOU
BETTER LINE THEM UP.
63
00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:33,781
- BUT--
64
00:03:33,814 --> 00:03:36,584
- THERE'S SO MUCH TO DO.
65
00:03:36,617 --> 00:03:39,320
- THEY SAY IT TOOK 500 YEARS
TO COMPLETE NOTRE DAME.
66
00:03:39,353 --> 00:03:42,323
- [chuckles] IS THAT SUPPOSED
TO BE ENCOURAGING?
67
00:03:42,356 --> 00:03:44,792
- WE'RE MAKING A HOME,
TOGETHER.
68
00:03:44,825 --> 00:03:48,896
WHO CARES
HOW LONG IT TAKES?
69
00:03:48,929 --> 00:03:50,464
- WELL, I-IF THERE'S A PROBLEM,
70
00:03:50,498 --> 00:03:52,466
WE'LL JUST CHANGE
THE TABLECLOTHS...
71
00:03:52,500 --> 00:03:54,602
AND THE NAPKINS...
72
00:03:54,635 --> 00:03:57,338
AND THE FLOWERS...
73
00:03:57,371 --> 00:03:58,906
AND THE MENU.
74
00:03:58,939 --> 00:04:01,342
LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT
TO CHANGE THE GROOM.
75
00:04:01,375 --> 00:04:04,812
[laughs]
OKAY.
76
00:04:04,845 --> 00:04:06,547
- WHO WAS THAT?
77
00:04:06,580 --> 00:04:09,350
- UGH. THE WEDDING
OF ALIEN AND PREDATOR.
78
00:04:09,383 --> 00:04:12,019
THE GROOM'S THE PRODUCER
OF THE CHANNEL 5 6:00 NEWS.
79
00:04:12,052 --> 00:04:14,622
BELIEVE ME, IT'LL BE
BIG NEWS IF I SURVIVE.
80
00:04:14,655 --> 00:04:16,290
THE BRIDE IS
A TWICE-DIVORCED DRAMA QUEEN,
81
00:04:16,324 --> 00:04:17,758
PANZER DIVISION,
82
00:04:17,791 --> 00:04:19,693
WHO'S CONVINCED
THERE'S GOING TO BE A DISASTER.
83
00:04:19,727 --> 00:04:22,029
AND, BELIEVE ME, IF SHE
DOESN'T GET OFF MY ASS,
84
00:04:22,062 --> 00:04:24,632
WHICH ARE WORDS YOU RARELY HEAR
ME SAY, THERE MAY BE.
85
00:04:24,665 --> 00:04:26,300
- WELL, CAN'T BE WORSE
86
00:04:26,334 --> 00:04:27,768
THAN MEL AND LINDSAY'S
ANNIVERSARY SURPRISE.
87
00:04:27,801 --> 00:04:29,637
- YEAH, NO SHIT.
88
00:04:29,670 --> 00:04:31,305
- YEAH, NOW, HONEY, YOU CAN'T
LET YOURSELF GET ALL WORKED UP.
89
00:04:31,339 --> 00:04:32,906
- I TOLD YOU TO KEEP
YOUR FUCKING PANTS ON.
90
00:04:32,940 --> 00:04:35,042
I'LL TAKE YOUR ORDER
AS SOON AS I CAN.
91
00:04:35,075 --> 00:04:37,378
- OF COURSE, I REALIZE THAT
MAY BE GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE.
92
00:04:37,411 --> 00:04:39,780
OKAY, BOYS, BACON CHEESEBURGER
FOR MICHAEL,
93
00:04:39,813 --> 00:04:41,582
POT PIE FOR EM...
- THANKS.
94
00:04:41,615 --> 00:04:43,917
- AND A B.L.T. FOR TEDDY--
95
00:04:43,951 --> 00:04:47,287
HOLD THE BACON, LETTUCE,
BREAD, MAYO, AND FRIES.
96
00:04:49,457 --> 00:04:52,059
- YOU TRYING TO KEEP YOURSELF
IN SHAPE FOR YOUR NEW BOYFRIEND?
97
00:04:52,092 --> 00:04:53,594
- HE'S ADORABLE.
98
00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:55,663
- YEAH. HE'S HISTORY.
99
00:04:55,696 --> 00:05:00,668
HE JACKS OFF TO PHOTOS
OF TED KENNEDY.
100
00:05:00,701 --> 00:05:02,403
HE ACTUALLY THOUGHT
MARLON BRANDO
101
00:05:02,436 --> 00:05:05,072
NEEDED TO GAIN A FEW POUNDS.
102
00:05:05,105 --> 00:05:06,674
THAT'S WHY HE WAS
IN LOVE WITH ME--
103
00:05:06,707 --> 00:05:08,442
FAT AND OLD TURN HIM ON.
104
00:05:08,476 --> 00:05:10,978
- TEDDY, YOU'RE NOT FAT...
105
00:05:11,011 --> 00:05:13,080
WELL, NOT HUGELY-GROSSLY.
106
00:05:13,113 --> 00:05:15,683
- AND YOU'RE
CERTAINLY NOT OLD.
107
00:05:15,716 --> 00:05:17,017
- EXCUSE ME, SIR?
108
00:05:17,050 --> 00:05:19,553
SIR!
109
00:05:19,587 --> 00:05:22,890
BABYLON REOPENS FRIDAY NIGHT.
110
00:05:22,923 --> 00:05:26,827
HERE YOU GO, GUYS.
CHECK IT OUT.
111
00:05:26,860 --> 00:05:30,431
- HE CALLED ME "SIR."
112
00:05:30,464 --> 00:05:33,734
HE SPOKE LOUDLY
SO I COULD HEAR.
113
00:05:33,767 --> 00:05:35,736
- I THOUGHT BABYLON
WENT BELLY UP.
114
00:05:35,769 --> 00:05:38,372
- YOU MEAN YOU DIDN'T KNOW?
TELL HIM, TEDDY.
115
00:05:38,406 --> 00:05:40,441
- I RESUSCITATED IT.
116
00:05:40,474 --> 00:05:43,644
PUT MY MOUTH ON IT AND BLEW.
117
00:05:43,677 --> 00:05:45,979
- SO THAT'S HOW YOU SPENT
YOUR DISPOSABLE INCOME?
118
00:05:46,013 --> 00:05:48,582
[scoffs]
YOU SHOULD HAVE BOUGHT A HOUSE.
119
00:05:48,616 --> 00:05:51,051
- SOME OF US QUEERS PREFER
DANCING AND FUCKING
120
00:05:51,084 --> 00:05:52,853
TO KIDDIES
AND PICKET FENCES.
121
00:05:52,886 --> 00:05:55,456
- WORD ON THE STREET IS THAT
POPPERZ IS THE NEW HOT SPOT.
122
00:05:55,489 --> 00:05:57,391
- FRIDAY NIGHT POPPERZ GOES BACK
123
00:05:57,425 --> 00:05:58,992
TO BEING THE PISS-HOLE
IT ALWAYS WAS.
124
00:05:59,026 --> 00:06:01,595
- BABYLON REOPENS FRIDAY NIGHT.
CHECK IT OUT.
125
00:06:01,629 --> 00:06:03,464
HERE YOU GO, GUYS,
CHECK IT OUT.
126
00:06:03,497 --> 00:06:06,366
BABYLON REOPENS FRIDAY NIGHT.
- CHECK IT OUT.
127
00:06:08,502 --> 00:06:09,637
- [playful voice]
HI, J.R.
128
00:06:09,670 --> 00:06:12,506
YOUR DADDY LOVES YOU.
129
00:06:12,540 --> 00:06:13,807
- THERE'S THIS NEW PLACE
IN THE MALL.
130
00:06:13,841 --> 00:06:15,476
YOU DESIGN
THE BEARS YOURSELF
131
00:06:15,509 --> 00:06:17,778
AND PICK OUT THEIR OUTFITS,
RECORD THEIR VOICES.
132
00:06:17,811 --> 00:06:19,146
- IT'S ADORABLE.
133
00:06:19,179 --> 00:06:21,749
- PRECIOUS.
134
00:06:21,782 --> 00:06:23,016
- YOU'LL HAVE TO
FORGIVE MELANIE.
135
00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:24,618
SHE'S BEEN UP ALL
NIGHT WITH J.R.
136
00:06:24,652 --> 00:06:26,019
- UH, SHE HAS COLIC.
137
00:06:26,053 --> 00:06:29,490
CRIED FOR FOUR
HOURS STRAIGHT.
138
00:06:29,523 --> 00:06:30,558
- [clears throat]
139
00:06:30,591 --> 00:06:32,159
LOOK, I WANTED
TO APOLOGIZE
140
00:06:32,192 --> 00:06:34,962
FOR GETTING SO HEATED
THE OTHER NIGHT.
141
00:06:34,995 --> 00:06:36,564
IT WAS A SHOCK,
THAT'S ALL.
142
00:06:36,597 --> 00:06:37,965
I WASN'T EXPECTING--
- WE KNOW.
143
00:06:37,998 --> 00:06:39,700
NO ONE WAS.
144
00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:42,503
- ALTHOUGH NOW
THAT I REMEMBER,
145
00:06:42,536 --> 00:06:44,438
EVERY TIME
I WOULD STOP BY,
146
00:06:44,472 --> 00:06:47,675
ONE OF YOU WAS ALWAYS OUT
OR AT WORK OR TAKING A NAP.
147
00:06:49,577 --> 00:06:50,711
ANYWAY, I'M SORRY.
148
00:06:50,744 --> 00:06:52,045
- YOU SAID THAT.
149
00:06:52,079 --> 00:06:53,647
- I MEAN, THAT AFTER
ALL THIS TIME,
150
00:06:53,681 --> 00:06:55,115
YOU TWO COULDN'T WORK
THINGS OUT,
151
00:06:55,148 --> 00:06:56,784
THAT IT HAD TO COME TO THIS.
- THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
152
00:06:56,817 --> 00:06:58,452
WE'RE SORRY TOO.
NOW, IF YOU DON'T MIND,
153
00:06:58,486 --> 00:07:00,521
COULD WE NOT DISCUSS
OUR MARITAL PROBLEMS?
154
00:07:00,554 --> 00:07:02,055
- THE IMPORTANT THING IS,
155
00:07:02,089 --> 00:07:05,192
WE NEED TO DECIDE HOW WE'RE
GOING TO TAKE CARE OF OUR CHILD.
156
00:07:05,225 --> 00:07:07,595
- OUR CHILD?
157
00:07:07,628 --> 00:07:09,963
- HOW MUCH TIME SHE'LL SPEND
WITH YOU AND WITH LINZ
158
00:07:09,997 --> 00:07:11,131
AND BEN AND ME.
159
00:07:11,164 --> 00:07:13,801
WE'RE BUYING A NEW HOUSE.
160
00:07:13,834 --> 00:07:15,836
- I'LL TELL YOU HOW MUCH TIME
SHE'S GOING TO SPEND WITH YOU--
161
00:07:15,869 --> 00:07:17,471
NONE!
[baby cries]
162
00:07:17,505 --> 00:07:18,972
- MELANIE, PLEASE,
WOULD YOU LOWER YOUR VOICE?
163
00:07:19,006 --> 00:07:21,008
I'M SURE WE CAN HANDLE THIS
WITHOUT SCREAMING.
164
00:07:21,041 --> 00:07:22,810
- WHO'S SCREAMING?
I'M MAKING A POINT.
165
00:07:22,843 --> 00:07:25,145
- TELL THAT TO HER.
166
00:07:25,178 --> 00:07:27,080
- WE HAD AN AGREEMENT--
167
00:07:27,114 --> 00:07:28,949
THAT I'D BE A PART
OF OUR DAUGHTER'S LIFE.
168
00:07:28,982 --> 00:07:30,684
- YEAH, WHICH AT NO TIME
INCLUDED PHYSICAL CUSTODY.
169
00:07:30,718 --> 00:07:32,119
THAT WAS NEVER DISCUSSED.
170
00:07:32,152 --> 00:07:33,954
- BECAUSE WHEN WE MADE IT,
YOU TWO WERE TOGETHER--
171
00:07:33,987 --> 00:07:36,223
A COUPLE, A FAMILY.
172
00:07:36,256 --> 00:07:38,025
NOW ALL THAT'S CHANGED.
NOW YOU'RE NOT.
173
00:07:38,058 --> 00:07:40,093
- WHY? I'M STILL HER MOTHER.
- SO AM I.
174
00:07:40,127 --> 00:07:41,829
- AND I'M HER FATHER.
175
00:07:41,862 --> 00:07:43,030
- NO ONE'S DENYING THAT.
- SHE IS.
176
00:07:43,063 --> 00:07:44,598
SHE'S SAYING I HAVE NO RIGHTS.
177
00:07:44,632 --> 00:07:46,567
- NO, I'M SAYING YOU
MAY BE HER FATHER,
178
00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:48,168
HER BIOLOGICAL FATHER,
179
00:07:48,201 --> 00:07:49,837
BUT LINDSAY AND I ARE
STILL HER PARENTS.
180
00:07:49,870 --> 00:07:52,873
THAT HASN'T CHANGED.
181
00:07:56,610 --> 00:08:00,814
NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,
MY DAUGHTER NEEDS TO BE FED.
182
00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:07,655
- ALL RIGHT, UPON ARRIVAL, THE
GUESTS WILL BE OFFERED A GLASS
183
00:08:07,688 --> 00:08:10,524
OF CHATEAUNEUF-DU-PAPE, 1991.
- MAKE THAT 1990.
184
00:08:10,558 --> 00:08:12,259
- UH, 1990,
185
00:08:12,292 --> 00:08:13,994
WHILE A STRING QUARTET
186
00:08:14,027 --> 00:08:15,996
PLAYS A MEDLEY OF YOUR FAVORITE
ELTON JOHN SONGS.
187
00:08:16,029 --> 00:08:18,666
- I'VE DECIDED TO GO
WITH EINE KLEINE NACHTMUSIK.
188
00:08:18,699 --> 00:08:21,268
- AH, WELL, SCRATCH
ROCKET MAN.
189
00:08:21,301 --> 00:08:24,037
NOW, UH, WHEN
THE WEDDING MARCH BEGINS--
190
00:08:24,071 --> 00:08:26,306
WE ARE KEEPING
THE WEDDING MARCH?
191
00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:27,741
OH, OF COURSE, UH...
192
00:08:27,775 --> 00:08:29,877
YOU'LL ENTER FROM,
UH, OVER THERE.
193
00:08:29,910 --> 00:08:31,745
UM...
- WHY NOT OVER HERE?
194
00:08:31,779 --> 00:08:34,882
- YOU'LL ENTER FROM OVER HERE
HOLDING A SPRAY OF LILIES.
195
00:08:34,915 --> 00:08:36,917
- I'M THINKING NOW OF
WHITE ROSES AND BABY'S BREATH.
196
00:08:36,950 --> 00:08:38,919
- BABY'S BREATH.
OKAY.
197
00:08:38,952 --> 00:08:41,154
UH, YOU'LL THEN PROCEED
TO THE BOWER.
198
00:08:41,188 --> 00:08:44,057
UM, AT WHICH POINT--
- WHAT IF IT RAINS?
199
00:08:44,091 --> 00:08:46,560
- I ALREADY ASKED JOHNNY--
NO RAIN.
200
00:08:46,594 --> 00:08:48,662
- YOUR WEATHERMAN
COULDN'T PREDICT A HURRICANE
201
00:08:48,696 --> 00:08:51,765
IF IT WAS BLOWING
DOWN MARKET STREET.
202
00:08:51,799 --> 00:08:53,300
- I'VE GOT TO GET
BACK TO THE STATION.
203
00:08:53,333 --> 00:08:54,902
I GOT A REMOTE COMING IN
FROM IRAQ.
204
00:08:54,935 --> 00:08:57,337
- IRAQ?
205
00:08:57,370 --> 00:09:00,874
SCREW IRAQ!
WE'RE HAVING A WEDDING!
206
00:09:00,908 --> 00:09:03,076
- NOW, NOW,
UH, DON'T YOU WORRY.
207
00:09:03,110 --> 00:09:05,045
I AM GOING TO HAVE
A LITTLE TALK WITH GOD.
208
00:09:05,078 --> 00:09:06,814
AND THERE IS NO WAY
HE'S GOING TO LET ANYTHING
209
00:09:06,847 --> 00:09:08,982
RAIN ON YOUR PARADE.
210
00:09:09,016 --> 00:09:11,919
- [chuckles, gasps]
THE LADIES' ROOM--
211
00:09:11,952 --> 00:09:14,788
WE HAVEN'T DECIDED THE COLOR
OF THE TOILET TISSUE.
212
00:09:14,822 --> 00:09:17,057
LAVENDER.
UM, NO. MINT.
213
00:09:17,090 --> 00:09:18,926
UH, NO.
UH, BUTTERCUP.
214
00:09:18,959 --> 00:09:23,063
- I WISH YOU COULD SEE LILA
UNDER LESS STRESSFUL CONDITIONS.
215
00:09:23,096 --> 00:09:26,366
SHE'D STILL DRIVE YOU NUTS,
BUT I LOVE HER.
216
00:09:26,399 --> 00:09:29,102
- WELL, OF COURSE YOU DO.
THAT'S WHAT THIS IS ALL ABOUT.
217
00:09:29,136 --> 00:09:31,071
- YOU KNOW, I GOT
TO HAND IT TO YOU.
218
00:09:31,104 --> 00:09:33,874
I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU DO IT.
- WELL...
219
00:09:33,907 --> 00:09:36,209
ONE OF THE REASONS
WE QUEER GUYS ARE AROUND--
220
00:09:36,243 --> 00:09:38,812
HELP YOU POOR STRAIGHT PEOPLE
STRAIGHTEN UP.
221
00:09:38,846 --> 00:09:41,682
[chuckles]
222
00:09:41,715 --> 00:09:44,084
- JOSEPH, MAKE SURE YOU PACK
MY SWIMSUITS AND T-SHIRTS, HUH?
223
00:09:44,117 --> 00:09:46,687
IT'S SUMMER IN AUSTRALIA.
- YES, SIR.
224
00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:49,990
- ANYWAY, THEY FIRED HIM,
THREE DAYS INTO PRODUCTION.
225
00:09:50,023 --> 00:09:51,725
FIRST-TIME DIRECTOR,
HUGE PRODUCTION--
226
00:09:51,759 --> 00:09:53,226
HE COULDN'T HANDLE IT.
227
00:09:53,260 --> 00:09:55,395
ALSO, I HEAR HE AND
ORLANDO BLOOM DID NOT GET ALONG.
228
00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:56,897
OH, BLAIR?
- YES, BRETT.
229
00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:58,298
- I WANT THAT TRAINER
230
00:09:58,331 --> 00:10:00,033
AT MY HOTEL EVERY MORNING
AT 5:00 A.M., HUH?
231
00:10:00,067 --> 00:10:01,702
- THEY'RE STILL
NEGOTIATING THAT.
232
00:10:01,735 --> 00:10:03,737
- WELL, CALL THE PRODUCER
AND FUCKING DEMAND IT!
233
00:10:03,771 --> 00:10:05,873
- YOU GOT IT, BRETT.
- HOW LONG WILL YOU BE GONE?
234
00:10:05,906 --> 00:10:08,275
- WELL, IT'S A SIX-MONTH SHOOT,
PROVIDED I CAN DO POST HERE.
235
00:10:08,308 --> 00:10:09,743
YOU KNOW, WE'RE
STILL NEGOTIATING.
236
00:10:09,777 --> 00:10:12,245
WHERE THE HELL
IS MY AMBIEN? AH.
237
00:10:12,279 --> 00:10:14,281
ON AN 18-HOUR FLIGHT,
IT'S THE ONLY WAY TO FLY.
238
00:10:14,314 --> 00:10:16,116
- I'M SURE.
239
00:10:16,149 --> 00:10:18,118
- LISTEN, I DON'T MEAN
TO THROW YOU OUT OR ANYTHING,
240
00:10:18,151 --> 00:10:19,319
BUT I JUST FIGURED
WHILE I WAS GONE,
241
00:10:19,352 --> 00:10:21,054
IT WOULD BE A GOOD TIME
242
00:10:21,088 --> 00:10:22,756
TO DO SOME WORK ON THE HOUSE,
YOU KNOW, REDECORATE.
243
00:10:22,790 --> 00:10:25,158
BUT PLEASE FEEL FREE TO STAY
FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS
244
00:10:25,192 --> 00:10:27,895
UNTIL YOU LINE UP
SOMETHING ELSE.
245
00:10:27,928 --> 00:10:30,130
- THANKS.
246
00:10:30,163 --> 00:10:31,732
- EVEN THOUGH I'M
ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD,
247
00:10:31,765 --> 00:10:33,734
I HAVEN'T LOST
MY PASSION FOR RAGE.
248
00:10:33,767 --> 00:10:36,336
MY DEVELOPMENT PEOPLE
ARE GOING TO SHOP IT AROUND.
249
00:10:36,369 --> 00:10:38,271
THE GAY CRUSADER
IS TOO POWERFUL
250
00:10:38,305 --> 00:10:40,307
TO BE DEFEATED
BY SOME ASSHOLE
251
00:10:40,340 --> 00:10:42,142
WHO CAN'T SEE
BEYOND THE BOX OFFICE.
252
00:10:42,175 --> 00:10:44,678
RIGHT?
- MM-HMM.
253
00:10:47,915 --> 00:10:49,883
- BLAIR.
- YES, BRETT.
254
00:10:49,917 --> 00:10:52,686
- I'M NOT HAPPY WITH THE TIME
WE'VE ARRANGED FOR THE CAR...
255
00:10:52,720 --> 00:10:54,788
- I CAN'T BELIEVE
THE WAY SHE TALKED TO ME.
256
00:10:54,822 --> 00:10:57,057
- YOU'RE THE FATHER.
- BUT I'M NOT THE PARENT--
257
00:10:57,090 --> 00:10:58,926
AT LEAST NOT AS FAR
AS MELANIE'S CONCERNED.
258
00:10:58,959 --> 00:11:00,327
- OH, THAT'S BULLSHIT.
259
00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:02,062
YOU'RE EVERY BIT
AS MUCH A PARENT AS SHE IS.
260
00:11:02,095 --> 00:11:03,430
- YOU SHOULD HAVE HEARD HER,
261
00:11:03,463 --> 00:11:05,165
SCREAMING SO LOUD,
SHE WOKE UP THE BABY.
262
00:11:05,198 --> 00:11:08,902
- [chuckles]
- WITH ALL THEIR CARRYING ON...
263
00:11:08,936 --> 00:11:10,203
I KNOW WE CAN PROVIDE
264
00:11:10,237 --> 00:11:12,773
A MORE STABLE HOME LIFE
FOR J.R. THAN THEY CAN.
265
00:11:12,806 --> 00:11:14,374
- YEAH, I'M SURE YOU'RE RIGHT.
266
00:11:14,407 --> 00:11:16,910
BUT THE ONE THING WE MUSTN'T DO
IS OVERREACT.
267
00:11:16,944 --> 00:11:19,046
WE'VE GOT TO STAY CALM
AND RATIONAL.
268
00:11:19,079 --> 00:11:22,215
- EVERYBODY
KEEPS TELLING ME THAT!
269
00:11:24,818 --> 00:11:26,186
ALL RIGHT, I'LL BE CALM...
270
00:11:26,219 --> 00:11:29,389
AND RATIONAL, BUT...
271
00:11:29,422 --> 00:11:31,925
THERE'S NO WAY
I'M GIVING UP MY KID.
272
00:11:31,959 --> 00:11:34,327
[tape rips loudly]
273
00:11:34,361 --> 00:11:36,930
- FINISH UP WITH THOSE LIGHTS.
WE'RE ABOUT TO OPEN THE DOORS.
274
00:11:36,964 --> 00:11:38,799
COULD YOU MOVE THOSE
CARTONS BEHIND THE BAR?
275
00:11:38,832 --> 00:11:40,868
- YES, SIR.
- AND DON'T CALL ME "SIR."
276
00:11:40,901 --> 00:11:45,105
- OKAY, THAT LOOKS GOOD.
- BREAK A LEG, BABY!
277
00:11:45,138 --> 00:11:46,874
JUST HOPEFULLY, NOT WHILE
WE'RE SHAKING OUR BOOTIES.
278
00:11:46,907 --> 00:11:48,809
- EM, I DIDN'T THINK
I'D SEE YOU HERE.
279
00:11:48,842 --> 00:11:50,510
I THOUGHT YOU'D BE TOO BUSY
WITH THE WEDDING PLANS.
280
00:11:50,543 --> 00:11:53,413
- OH, I'M NEVER TOO BUSY TO SIT
RINGSIDE ON OPENING NIGHT.
281
00:11:53,446 --> 00:11:56,149
- READY IN TWO MINUTES.
- OKAY.
282
00:11:56,183 --> 00:11:58,418
- AND, UM, WHO HAVE WE HERE?
- OH, UH...
283
00:11:58,451 --> 00:12:00,788
THIS IS ALONZO.
THIS IS EMMETT.
284
00:12:00,821 --> 00:12:02,255
- I'M ALREADY PICTURING
A MOONLIT BEACH
285
00:12:02,289 --> 00:12:04,157
CARESSED
BY A CARIBBEAN BREEZE,
286
00:12:04,191 --> 00:12:06,960
WHILE THE PALMS SWAY GENTLY
TO A LATIN GUITAR.
287
00:12:06,994 --> 00:12:10,297
- WE DIDN'T HAVE TOO MANY PALM
TREES IN TRENTON.
288
00:12:10,330 --> 00:12:12,132
- ALONZO'S
THE NEW CLUB MANAGER.
289
00:12:12,165 --> 00:12:16,837
- AND MAY I SAY, A VAST
IMPROVEMENT OVER THE FORMER ONE.
290
00:12:16,870 --> 00:12:18,872
- I HAVEN'T HAD THIS MUCH FUN
WITH A TOY
291
00:12:18,906 --> 00:12:21,008
SINCE MY ERECTOR SET.
292
00:12:21,041 --> 00:12:22,976
- MY PARENTS COULDN'T AFFORD
AN ERECTOR SET,
293
00:12:23,010 --> 00:12:24,511
SO I JUST HAD TO PLAY
WITH THE ONE GOD GAVE ME.
294
00:12:24,544 --> 00:12:26,046
[both chuckle]
295
00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:29,516
- OKAY, BOYS,
TAKE YOUR PLACES!
296
00:12:29,549 --> 00:12:32,119
LET'S BRING
THE LIGHTS DOWN
297
00:12:32,152 --> 00:12:35,055
AND THE STROBES UP.
298
00:12:35,088 --> 00:12:36,857
- AND WE'RE BACK IN BUSINESS.
299
00:12:36,890 --> 00:12:39,292
- NOT QUITE.
300
00:12:39,326 --> 00:12:40,861
[electronic music plays loudly]
301
00:12:40,894 --> 00:12:42,329
IT AIN'T BABYLON
WITHOUT THAT...
302
00:12:42,362 --> 00:12:44,131
- THUMPA-THUMPA!
303
00:12:44,164 --> 00:12:47,134
- OKAY, BOYS AND BOYS,
WHAT TIME IS IT?
304
00:12:47,167 --> 00:12:51,138
all:
IT'S SHOWTIME!
305
00:12:51,171 --> 00:12:59,212
*
306
00:13:12,059 --> 00:13:15,128
[indistinct chatter]
307
00:13:28,375 --> 00:13:32,245
- WHAT THE FUCK?
308
00:13:32,279 --> 00:13:35,849
- DON'T WORRY.
IT'S STILL--IT'S EARLY.
309
00:13:43,256 --> 00:13:44,858
- WHERE IS EVERYBODY?
310
00:13:44,892 --> 00:13:46,994
- IT'S SHORTS-AND-SHOTS NIGHT
AT POPPERZ.
311
00:13:47,027 --> 00:13:49,529
ALL THE HOT GUYS
ARE OVER THERE.
312
00:13:49,562 --> 00:13:51,631
I THINK I'LL GO,
UM, CHECK IT OUT.
313
00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:58,105
*
314
00:13:58,138 --> 00:14:01,408
[indistinct chatter,
funky music plays]
315
00:14:01,441 --> 00:14:09,382
*
316
00:14:15,455 --> 00:14:17,557
- CON!
317
00:14:17,590 --> 00:14:19,292
- HEY!
318
00:14:19,326 --> 00:14:22,262
- I DIDN'T THINK YOU
WERE STILL IN TOWN.
319
00:14:22,295 --> 00:14:25,298
THIS IS JUSTIN.
AND SO IS THIS.
320
00:14:25,332 --> 00:14:28,635
- SEEMS THERE'S NO SHORTAGE
OF US IN HOLLYWOOD.
321
00:14:28,668 --> 00:14:31,404
- WOULD YOU GET ME
ANOTHER KETEL ONE?
322
00:14:35,008 --> 00:14:37,911
- HE'S CUTE.
- IF YOU LIKE THE TYPE.
323
00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:42,015
REALLY SUCKS ABOUT RAGE,
DOESN'T IT?
324
00:14:42,049 --> 00:14:43,984
- YEAH. IT REALLY SUCKS.
325
00:14:44,017 --> 00:14:45,986
- I SWEAR, THERE'S NOT AN OUNCE
OF ARTISTIC INTEGRITY
326
00:14:46,019 --> 00:14:47,420
IN THIS FUCKING TOWN.
327
00:14:47,454 --> 00:14:50,523
- WHY DON'T YOU GO BACK
TO NEW YORK--DO THEATER?
328
00:14:50,557 --> 00:14:52,993
- I WOULD IN A HEARTBEAT IF I
DIDN'T HAVE A THREE-PICTURE DEAL
329
00:14:53,026 --> 00:14:55,295
WITH BRUCKHEIMER.
330
00:14:55,328 --> 00:14:57,197
SO WHERE'S
OUR GENIUS DIRECTOR?
331
00:14:57,230 --> 00:15:00,200
- HE LEFT YESTERDAY
FOR AUSTRALIA.
332
00:15:00,233 --> 00:15:02,569
- I HEARD HE'S TAKING OVER
THAT REMAKE OF MOTHRA.
333
00:15:02,602 --> 00:15:05,172
WELL, IT ISN'T A BRETT KELLER
FILM UNLESS SOMETHING FLIES.
334
00:15:05,205 --> 00:15:08,008
- HE STILL PLANS
ON DOING RAGE, THOUGH.
335
00:15:08,041 --> 00:15:10,043
HIS PEOPLE ARE OUT SHOPPING IT
TO OTHER STUDIOS
336
00:15:10,077 --> 00:15:12,012
NOW THAT IT'S IN TURNABOUT.
337
00:15:12,045 --> 00:15:15,015
- [chuckles]
THAT'S "TURNAROUND."
338
00:15:15,048 --> 00:15:17,717
- RIGHT. HE SWORE
HE'S GOING TO GET IT MADE.
339
00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:19,319
- WELL, THAT'S OUR BRETTSKI--
340
00:15:19,352 --> 00:15:21,488
FIGHTING THE EVIL EMPIRE
SINGLE-HANDED.
341
00:15:21,521 --> 00:15:23,690
BUT IN THIS BUSINESS,
342
00:15:23,723 --> 00:15:26,359
THE ONLY THING THAT RISES
FROM THE DEAD IS DRACULA.
343
00:15:26,393 --> 00:15:30,097
AND THEN ONLY IF BRAD PITT
IS PLAYING HIM.
344
00:15:30,130 --> 00:15:33,166
WHEN SOMETHING'S OVER,
IT'S OVER.
345
00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:41,141
*
346
00:15:58,425 --> 00:16:00,627
- YOU LOOK LIKE YOU GAVE AN ORGY
AND NOBODY CAME.
347
00:16:00,660 --> 00:16:04,097
- I LOVE HOW YOU CAN TAKE A
STALE CLICHE AND MAKE IT FRESH.
348
00:16:06,133 --> 00:16:08,735
COULD YOU DO THE SAME
FOR THIS MUFFIN?
349
00:16:08,768 --> 00:16:11,004
- WHAT THE FUCK'S
WITH YOU?
350
00:16:11,038 --> 00:16:12,739
- GUESS HOW MANY HOMOS
SHOWED UP LAST NIGHT
351
00:16:12,772 --> 00:16:15,608
FOR THE REOPENING
OF BABYLON?
352
00:16:15,642 --> 00:16:18,145
- IS THIS ONE
OF THOSE LIGHTBULB JOKES?
353
00:16:18,178 --> 00:16:19,479
- 12.
354
00:16:19,512 --> 00:16:22,549
COUNT THEM. 12.
355
00:16:22,582 --> 00:16:26,153
8 FUCKING GRAND
DOWN THE CRAPPER.
356
00:16:26,186 --> 00:16:27,620
IF I DON'T DO SOMETHING QUICK,
357
00:16:27,654 --> 00:16:29,756
IT'S GOING TO BE ANOTHER
8 FUCKING GRAND TONIGHT
358
00:16:29,789 --> 00:16:32,559
AND TOMORROW NIGHT
AND THE NEXT NIGHT.
359
00:16:32,592 --> 00:16:34,794
- SOUNDS LIKE ONE HELL
OF AN EXPENSIVE BLOW JOB.
360
00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:37,764
- YOU KNOW, I WOULDN'T HAVE
MINDED EVEN THAT,
361
00:16:37,797 --> 00:16:39,699
BUT NOT ONE OF THEM
WAS EVEN REMOTELY FUCKABLE.
362
00:16:39,732 --> 00:16:42,135
WELL, I DON'T GET IT.
WHERE DID THEY ALL GO?
363
00:16:42,169 --> 00:16:43,670
- THE MUSIC WAS
FUCKING AWESOME!
364
00:16:43,703 --> 00:16:45,372
- AND ONLY A
BUCK A SHOOTER.
365
00:16:45,405 --> 00:16:48,241
- WHERE YOU BOYS BEEN ALL NIGHT?
- POPPERZ.
366
00:16:48,275 --> 00:16:51,578
- POPPERZ?
THAT DUMP'S OLDER THAN I AM.
367
00:16:51,611 --> 00:16:53,113
- ONLY THING THAT IS.
368
00:16:53,146 --> 00:16:54,514
[all laughing]
369
00:16:54,547 --> 00:16:57,417
- SO THERE YOU HAVE IT.
370
00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:02,422
- YOU OF ALL PEOPLE
SHOULD KNOW...
371
00:17:02,455 --> 00:17:05,558
THERE'S NO ONE
MORE FICKLE THAN A FAG.
372
00:17:08,461 --> 00:17:09,562
[door closes]
- OH, HEY.
373
00:17:09,596 --> 00:17:12,532
- SORRY I'M LATE.
374
00:17:12,565 --> 00:17:16,336
THE WOMAN IN FRONT OF ME
HAD A STACK OF COUPONS.
375
00:17:16,369 --> 00:17:18,305
[child babbles]
HEY, SWEETIE.
376
00:17:18,338 --> 00:17:19,439
- HI, MOMMY.
377
00:17:19,472 --> 00:17:24,211
- DID YOU HAVE FUN WITH MAMA?
378
00:17:24,244 --> 00:17:25,412
HERE'S THE MAIL.
379
00:17:25,445 --> 00:17:26,813
- THANKS.
380
00:17:26,846 --> 00:17:30,150
- OKAY, BIG BOY,
GATHER UP YOUR TOYS.
381
00:17:30,183 --> 00:17:32,452
IT'S TIME TO GO.
382
00:17:32,485 --> 00:17:35,822
- MOM, I DON'T WANT TO GO.
383
00:17:35,855 --> 00:17:38,191
- ARE WE GOING TO GO
THROUGH THIS EVERY TIME?
384
00:17:38,225 --> 00:17:40,293
- HMM.
385
00:17:40,327 --> 00:17:42,295
- OH, IT'S OKAY, SWEETIE.
386
00:17:42,329 --> 00:17:45,732
I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW WHEN MOMMY
GOES TO WORK, OKAY?
387
00:17:45,765 --> 00:17:48,568
- HOW'S J.R.?
- UP ALL NIGHT, SCREAMING.
388
00:17:48,601 --> 00:17:50,570
- WHY DON'T YOU LET ME TAKE HER?
389
00:17:50,603 --> 00:17:52,439
- YOU CAN'T BE UP ALL NIGHT
AND LOOK AFTER GUS
390
00:17:52,472 --> 00:17:54,374
AND WORK ALL DAY.
- BUT YOU'RE EXHAUSTED.
391
00:17:54,407 --> 00:17:56,243
- DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME, OKAY?
I CAN HANDLE IT.
392
00:17:56,276 --> 00:17:58,345
- NO ONE SAID YOU COULDN'T.
- THEN DON'T START.
393
00:17:58,378 --> 00:18:00,780
- I'M NOT STARTING ANYTHING.
394
00:18:00,813 --> 00:18:02,715
I JUST WISH
THERE WAS SOME WAY WE COULD...
395
00:18:02,749 --> 00:18:04,484
- KISS AND MAKE UP?
396
00:18:04,517 --> 00:18:06,119
- GET ALONG.
397
00:18:06,153 --> 00:18:07,387
- OH, SHIT!
398
00:18:07,420 --> 00:18:08,655
- WHAT IS IT?
399
00:18:08,688 --> 00:18:12,192
- THAT LITTLE FUCKER
HIRED A LAWYER.
400
00:18:12,225 --> 00:18:13,593
- HER NAME IS BOBBI BENNETT.
401
00:18:13,626 --> 00:18:16,263
- I THOUGHT SHE WAS MARRIED
TO HUGH HEFNER.
402
00:18:16,296 --> 00:18:17,530
- THAT'S BARBI BENTON.
403
00:18:17,564 --> 00:18:19,666
THIS IS A TOUGH,
GAY LAWYER.
404
00:18:19,699 --> 00:18:22,202
- SHE TOOK THE FIRST GAY
ADOPTION CASE IN PENNSYLVANIA
405
00:18:22,235 --> 00:18:23,803
TO THE STATE SUPREME COURT
AND WON.
406
00:18:23,836 --> 00:18:26,139
- YEAH. SHE SAID, AS J.R.'S
BIOLOGICAL FATHER,
407
00:18:26,173 --> 00:18:27,607
I HAVE RIGHTS,
AND I SHOULD FIGHT FOR THEM.
408
00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:29,476
- NO. NO, I DON'T
LIKE IT THERE.
409
00:18:29,509 --> 00:18:31,544
- OH.
410
00:18:31,578 --> 00:18:34,247
SO SHE'S AGREED
TO TAKE OUR CASE.
411
00:18:34,281 --> 00:18:35,748
- I'M GLAD TO SEE
YOU STANDING UP FOR YOURSELF.
412
00:18:35,782 --> 00:18:37,417
I'M JUST SORRY IT
HAD TO COME TO THIS.
413
00:18:37,450 --> 00:18:40,787
- WELL, THEY DIDN'T LEAVE ME
ANY CHOICE.
414
00:18:40,820 --> 00:18:42,522
- I-IS THIS WHERE
YOU WANT IT, DEB?
415
00:18:42,555 --> 00:18:45,425
- WHERE I WANT IT IS IN
THE GARBAGE, BUT...
416
00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:47,660
IT'S CARL'S
FAVORITE CHAIR, SO...
417
00:18:58,738 --> 00:18:59,806
THERE,
THAT'S BETTER, HUH?
418
00:18:59,839 --> 00:19:01,841
- OH, YEAH, MUCH BETTER.
419
00:19:01,874 --> 00:19:04,377
- WELL, I'M NOT GOING TO LET
MY DAUGHTER BE RAISED
420
00:19:04,411 --> 00:19:06,179
BY A COUPLE
OF SINGLE MOTHERS.
421
00:19:06,213 --> 00:19:09,916
- WHEN THERE'S A LOVING,
STABLE HOME WITH TWO FATHERS.
422
00:19:09,949 --> 00:19:13,253
- "SINGLE MOTHERS"?
- HMM?
423
00:19:13,286 --> 00:19:16,289
- YOU JUST SAID
"SINGLE MOTHERS."
424
00:19:16,323 --> 00:19:18,858
YOU MEAN LIKE ME?
- I WASN'T TALKING ABOUT YOU.
425
00:19:18,891 --> 00:19:20,560
I WASN'T EVEN THINKING
ABOUT YOU.
426
00:19:20,593 --> 00:19:21,861
- YEAH, SO WHAT ELSE IS NEW?
427
00:19:21,894 --> 00:19:24,531
BUT I WAS A SINGLE MOTHER.
AND GUESS WHAT.
428
00:19:24,564 --> 00:19:26,299
EVEN WITHOUT A FATHER,
429
00:19:26,333 --> 00:19:28,268
YOU STILL HAD ENOUGH SENSE
TO COME IN OUT OF THE RAIN...
430
00:19:28,301 --> 00:19:29,602
SOMETIMES.
431
00:19:29,636 --> 00:19:31,538
- THAT'S NOT WHAT
I WAS TALKING ABOUT.
432
00:19:31,571 --> 00:19:33,440
FOR CHRIST SAKES, MOM, WILL YOU
STOP MISINTERPRETING?
433
00:19:33,473 --> 00:19:35,575
- WHO'S MISINTERPRETING?
- DEB, ALL WE'RE SAYING IS ...
434
00:19:35,608 --> 00:19:36,943
- I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SAYING.
435
00:19:36,976 --> 00:19:39,212
I SPEAK THE LANGUAGE--
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
436
00:19:39,246 --> 00:19:40,813
YOU THINK BECAUSE
THERE ARE TWO OF YOU,
437
00:19:40,847 --> 00:19:43,316
THAT YOU'RE BETTER EQUIPPED
TO RAISE A KID.
438
00:19:43,350 --> 00:19:47,220
WELL, LET ME TELL YOU
TWO EXPERTS SOMETHING.
439
00:19:47,254 --> 00:19:49,622
NOT EVERYONE IS FORTUNATE ENOUGH
TO HAVE A PARTNER
440
00:19:49,656 --> 00:19:51,424
AND ENOUGH MONEY TO STAY HOME
AND RAISE THEIR KIDS.
441
00:19:51,458 --> 00:19:54,494
SOME OF US HAD TO WORK,
NIGHT AND DAY,
442
00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:56,896
SOMETIMES TILL 2:00
IN THE FUCKING MORNING,
443
00:19:56,929 --> 00:20:00,300
SO THAT OUR KIDS COULD HAVE
SNEAKERS AND JEANS
444
00:20:00,333 --> 00:20:02,569
AND WALKMANS AND--
AND GO TO THE MOVIES
445
00:20:02,602 --> 00:20:04,471
JUST LIKE ALL THEIR FRIENDS.
446
00:20:04,504 --> 00:20:05,905
AND WHILE WE WERE
OUT THERE WORKING,
447
00:20:05,938 --> 00:20:07,874
WE WERE JUST HOPING
AND PRAYING TO GOD
448
00:20:07,907 --> 00:20:11,878
THAT THEY DIDN'T GET
SICK OR GET IN TROUBLE.
449
00:20:11,911 --> 00:20:14,447
BUT WE HAD NO CHOICE.
450
00:20:14,481 --> 00:20:17,884
WE MADE WHATEVER SACRIFICE WE
COULD FOR OUR KIDS' HAPPINESS.
451
00:20:19,786 --> 00:20:24,657
SO YOU TWO THINK
YOU CAN DO IT BETTER...
452
00:20:24,691 --> 00:20:26,893
ALL I GOT TO SAY IS...
453
00:20:26,926 --> 00:20:29,228
GOOD FOR YOU.
454
00:20:35,935 --> 00:20:37,470
- I ALMOST
DIDN'T RECOGNIZE YOU
455
00:20:37,504 --> 00:20:39,906
SINCE YOU GAINED
ALL THAT WEIGHT.
456
00:20:39,939 --> 00:20:41,408
- IT'S NOT THAT MUCH.
457
00:20:41,441 --> 00:20:44,477
- I WISH I COULD GAIN WEIGHT
LIKE THAT.
458
00:20:44,511 --> 00:20:47,814
I TRY, AND I TRY,
AND I EAT, AND I EAT,
459
00:20:47,847 --> 00:20:50,817
BUT NO MATTER WHAT I DO,
I JUST CAN'T KEEP IT ON.
460
00:20:50,850 --> 00:20:51,951
- PITY.
461
00:20:51,984 --> 00:20:54,521
- CHOCOLATE?
- I'M ON A DIET.
462
00:20:54,554 --> 00:20:56,623
- OH, AND IT'S
ALREADY WORKING.
463
00:20:56,656 --> 00:20:59,058
YOUR HAIR IS
GETTING THINNER.
464
00:20:59,091 --> 00:21:00,960
- [scoffs] LOOK, WHATEVER
ELSE IS GOING ON,
465
00:21:00,993 --> 00:21:02,562
I'VE ALWAYS HAD
A HEALTHY HEAD OF HAIR.
466
00:21:02,595 --> 00:21:05,632
- WELL, I HATE TO CONTRADICT
MRS. BROLIN,
467
00:21:05,665 --> 00:21:08,501
BUT THE MIRROR
ONLY HAS ONE FACE,
468
00:21:08,535 --> 00:21:11,304
AND YOU'RE LOOKING AT IT.
469
00:21:11,338 --> 00:21:13,306
- SHIT!
470
00:21:13,340 --> 00:21:15,408
I'M GETTING BALD.
471
00:21:15,442 --> 00:21:17,777
W-W-WHAT DO I DO?
WHAT--W-WHAT DO I DO?
472
00:21:17,810 --> 00:21:19,846
- CONVERT TO JUDAISM
AND WEAR A YARMULKE?
473
00:21:19,879 --> 00:21:23,316
- THERE'S NO USE FIGHTING IT,
SWEETHEART.
474
00:21:25,452 --> 00:21:29,389
I'M AFRAID AGE IS THE LAST TRICK
ANY OF US PICKS UP.
475
00:21:29,422 --> 00:21:32,392
THE PROBLEM IS,
AFTER IT FUCKS US,
476
00:21:32,425 --> 00:21:34,461
IT DOESN'T LEAVE.
477
00:21:34,494 --> 00:21:35,928
SO, IF I WERE YOU,
478
00:21:35,962 --> 00:21:39,732
I'D STOP SINGING
THE TITLE SONG FROM "POOR ME"
479
00:21:39,766 --> 00:21:40,733
AND ACCEPT IT.
480
00:21:40,767 --> 00:21:43,002
- THEN WHAT--DIE?
481
00:21:43,035 --> 00:21:45,104
- OR MOVE TO PALM SPRINGS,
482
00:21:45,137 --> 00:21:48,675
POUR YOURSELF A MARTINI
AND OGLE THE...
483
00:21:48,708 --> 00:21:51,444
MEXICAN BOYS.
484
00:21:53,613 --> 00:21:57,016
- NOW, WHAT SHALL WE DO
WITH THIS?
485
00:21:58,485 --> 00:22:01,888
SAME OLD, SAME OLD?
486
00:22:01,921 --> 00:22:04,891
- OH, IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW MANY
OF THESE WEDDINGS I DO,
487
00:22:04,924 --> 00:22:07,427
I ALWAYS GET A LUMP IN MY THROAT
AND A TEAR IN MY EYE.
488
00:22:07,460 --> 00:22:08,628
- MAYBE IT'S ALLERGIES.
489
00:22:08,661 --> 00:22:10,363
WHAT IF EVERYBODY
STARTS SNEEZING?
490
00:22:10,397 --> 00:22:11,864
YOU SEE? I TOLD YOU--
WE SHOULD HAVE HAD IT INDOORS.
491
00:22:11,898 --> 00:22:14,434
- THE ONLY SNIFFLES TODAY
WILL BE SNIFFLES OF JOY
492
00:22:14,467 --> 00:22:15,902
FROM HOW LOVELY
THE BRIDE LOOKS.
493
00:22:15,935 --> 00:22:17,470
- I STILL THINK
I SHOULD'VE LEFT MY HAIR DOWN.
494
00:22:17,504 --> 00:22:19,372
MY FACE LOOKS TOO ROUND,
DOESN'T IT?
495
00:22:19,406 --> 00:22:21,608
- IT'S THE PERFECT FRAME
FOR THE PERFECT PICTURE.
496
00:22:21,641 --> 00:22:23,843
- YOU HEAR THAT, HONEY?
- IT'S ALL AN ILLUSION.
497
00:22:23,876 --> 00:22:25,712
I'M A MESS.
ARE THOSE RAIN CLOUDS?
498
00:22:25,745 --> 00:22:28,014
- I THINK IT'S TIME TO CUE
THE WEDDING MARCH.
499
00:22:28,047 --> 00:22:29,882
- THOSE...
- YOU NEED TO RELAX.
500
00:22:29,916 --> 00:22:33,453
- [breathing heavily]
501
00:22:33,486 --> 00:22:34,987
OH.
502
00:22:35,021 --> 00:22:36,989
- TO MY BEAUTIFUL BRIDE.
503
00:22:37,023 --> 00:22:40,126
FROM NOW ON, YOU ARE MY
MORNING NEWS, MY EVENING NEWS,
504
00:22:40,159 --> 00:22:41,894
AND MY SPECIAL REPORT.
505
00:22:41,928 --> 00:22:44,997
- DON, WHAT
A BEAUTIFUL SENTIMENT.
506
00:22:45,031 --> 00:22:46,132
[yelping]
507
00:22:46,165 --> 00:22:48,134
OH, MY GOD!
OH, MY GOD!
508
00:22:48,167 --> 00:22:50,770
ALL RIGHT,
PLACES, EVERY--
509
00:22:50,803 --> 00:22:52,605
- I TOLD YOU SOMETHING
WOULD GO WRONG, DIDN'T I?
510
00:22:52,639 --> 00:22:54,507
DIDN'T I TELL YOU
THERE'D BE A DISASTER?
511
00:22:54,541 --> 00:22:56,008
[Wedding March plays]
MY BLOUSE! LOOK AT ME!
512
00:22:56,042 --> 00:22:57,644
HOW CAN I GO OUT THERE?
I CAN'T. IT'S RUINED.
513
00:22:57,677 --> 00:22:58,945
EVERYTHING IS RUINED!
514
00:22:58,978 --> 00:23:01,614
[sobbing]
- TAKE IT OFF.
515
00:23:01,648 --> 00:23:02,882
- WHAT?
- TAKE IT OFF.
516
00:23:02,915 --> 00:23:04,417
TAKE YOUR BLOUSE OFF.
BE QUICK ABOUT IT.
517
00:23:04,451 --> 00:23:05,552
COME ON, WE'VE GOT
150 GUESTS WATCHING.
518
00:23:05,585 --> 00:23:06,753
CHOP-CHOP!
- OKAY.
519
00:23:06,786 --> 00:23:08,888
[crying]
520
00:23:08,921 --> 00:23:11,157
OH, MY GOD.
521
00:23:11,190 --> 00:23:14,827
- GO, GO, GO, GO.
- GOING.
522
00:23:14,861 --> 00:23:18,498
- [sighs]
523
00:23:18,531 --> 00:23:21,634
I NEED A SOUP POT AND TWO
BOTTLES OF BURGUNDY, PLEASE.
524
00:23:21,668 --> 00:23:23,069
VITE! VITE!
525
00:23:23,102 --> 00:23:25,638
FAST AS WE CAN, PEOPLE. PLEASE.
526
00:23:25,672 --> 00:23:28,174
- OH, YOU--
YOU WANT A CHICKEN TOO?
527
00:23:28,207 --> 00:23:29,976
IT'S A HELL OF A TIME
TO MAKE COQ AU VIN--
528
00:23:30,009 --> 00:23:33,212
TWO MINUTES
BEFORE OUR WEDDING.
529
00:23:33,245 --> 00:23:35,047
- WHAT THE FUCK
ARE YOU DOING?
530
00:23:35,081 --> 00:23:37,584
- SHH, SHH, SHH.
[humming]
531
00:23:37,617 --> 00:23:39,185
- JUST BECAUSE
I DIDN'T CARRY HER
532
00:23:39,218 --> 00:23:41,053
DOESN'T MEAN
I'M NOT HER MOTHER TOO.
533
00:23:41,087 --> 00:23:43,656
- SEE THE CHOO-CHOO GO AROUND
THE TRACK, SONNY BOY?
534
00:23:43,690 --> 00:23:45,191
SEE IT?
535
00:23:45,224 --> 00:23:47,059
SURE IS FUN.
536
00:23:47,093 --> 00:23:50,797
BUT AFTER A WHILE, IT GETS
MONOTONOUS AND PREDICTABLE.
537
00:23:50,830 --> 00:23:53,199
AND THAT'S WHEN WE THROW OFF
THE SHACKLES OF CONVENTION
538
00:23:53,232 --> 00:23:55,101
AND RELINQUISH CONTROL
539
00:23:55,134 --> 00:23:57,670
AND CAUSE A SENSELESS,
540
00:23:57,704 --> 00:24:00,573
TRAGIC DISASTER!
[imitates crash]
541
00:24:00,607 --> 00:24:03,476
OH, MY GOD.
DID YOU SEE THAT?
542
00:24:03,510 --> 00:24:05,144
- BRIAN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
543
00:24:05,177 --> 00:24:07,680
- I'M JUST TEACHING
MY SON HOW TO HAVE FUN.
544
00:24:07,714 --> 00:24:09,148
- WELL, I WISH YOU'D LISTEN
TO WHAT I'M SAYING.
545
00:24:09,181 --> 00:24:11,150
- "JUST BECAUSE
I DIDN'T CARRY HER
546
00:24:11,183 --> 00:24:12,752
DOESN'T MEAN
I'M NOT HER MOTHER TOO."
547
00:24:12,785 --> 00:24:14,554
- I WAS THERE EVERY STEP
OF THE WAY--
548
00:24:14,587 --> 00:24:18,257
IMPREGNATING HER, COACHING HER,
TAKING CARE OF HER.
549
00:24:18,290 --> 00:24:20,092
I EVEN HELPED
WITH THE DELIVERY.
550
00:24:20,126 --> 00:24:22,629
- SO WHO SAYS YOU'RE NOT?
551
00:24:22,662 --> 00:24:24,731
- MICHAEL.
552
00:24:24,764 --> 00:24:26,265
HE'S PETITIONING
FOR JOINT CUSTODY
553
00:24:26,298 --> 00:24:29,101
AND 50% PHYSICAL CUSTODY.
554
00:24:29,135 --> 00:24:32,004
- WELL, WHO THE HELL
DOES HE THINK HE IS--THE FATHER?
555
00:24:32,038 --> 00:24:33,773
- THE AGREEMENT WAS
THAT HE WOULD ALWAYS BE A PART
556
00:24:33,806 --> 00:24:36,609
OF THE BABY'S LIFE,
BUT MEL AND I WOULD RAISE HER.
557
00:24:36,643 --> 00:24:37,844
- TOGETHER.
558
00:24:37,877 --> 00:24:39,111
- IT DOESN'T MAKE
ANY DIFFERENCE.
559
00:24:39,145 --> 00:24:40,647
WE'RE STILL THE SAME PEOPLE.
560
00:24:40,680 --> 00:24:42,048
WE'RE STILL
JENNY REBECCA'S PARENTS.
561
00:24:42,081 --> 00:24:44,984
- WELL, HE SEEMS
TO FEEL DIFFERENTLY.
562
00:24:45,017 --> 00:24:47,286
- IF ONLY MELANIE
HAD BEEN REASONABLE.
563
00:24:47,319 --> 00:24:48,655
- [scoffs]
MELANIE?
564
00:24:48,688 --> 00:24:50,256
OUR LITTLE MELANIE?
565
00:24:50,289 --> 00:24:51,758
REASONABLE?
566
00:24:51,791 --> 00:24:54,060
- INSTEAD OF TRYING
TO FORCE HIM OUT.
567
00:24:54,093 --> 00:24:55,728
NOW, IF HE GOES THROUGH
WITH THIS,
568
00:24:55,762 --> 00:24:57,797
I'LL BE THE ONE
WHO'S FORCED OUT.
569
00:24:57,830 --> 00:24:59,932
THE COURT WILL SAY I'M
THE ONE WITH NO LEGAL RIGHTS.
570
00:24:59,966 --> 00:25:02,535
- [clicks tongue]
IT LOOKS LIKE YOUR MOMMY
571
00:25:02,569 --> 00:25:04,070
IS IN QUITE A PREDICAMENT.
572
00:25:04,103 --> 00:25:07,640
- YOU'RE GODDAMN RIGHT
SHE IS.
573
00:25:09,942 --> 00:25:13,512
I CAN'T BELIEVE
WHAT A MESS MY LIFE'S BECOME.
574
00:25:14,981 --> 00:25:17,149
- YOU NEED MONEY?
575
00:25:17,183 --> 00:25:20,286
- WHAT I NEED
IS FOR YOU TO TALK TO HIM.
576
00:25:20,319 --> 00:25:22,622
YOU'RE HIS BEST FRIEND.
577
00:25:22,655 --> 00:25:24,824
- HEY, GUS.
578
00:25:24,857 --> 00:25:27,193
IT'S OKAY, SONNY BOY.
579
00:25:27,226 --> 00:25:29,962
WE WILL GET IT BACK ON TRACK.
- WHICH ONE?
580
00:25:29,996 --> 00:25:32,064
- WAIT.
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
581
00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:35,602
OKAY, FLIP THE SWITCH.
582
00:25:36,969 --> 00:25:38,938
- AND THAT SHOULD
JUST ABOUT DO IT.
583
00:25:38,971 --> 00:25:40,940
AH, JUST TAKE THAT, PLEASE.
THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
584
00:25:40,973 --> 00:25:44,310
OH, OH, RIGHT HERE.
PERFECT.
585
00:25:44,343 --> 00:25:48,180
HERE WE GO--
AND ONE AND TWO...
586
00:25:48,214 --> 00:25:50,950
THERE.
IT EVEN MATCHES YOUR BOUQUET.
587
00:25:50,983 --> 00:25:53,185
[applause]
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
588
00:25:53,219 --> 00:25:54,787
LET'S GO!
LET'S GO, LET'S GO!
589
00:25:54,821 --> 00:25:58,057
- YOU'RE A GENIUS!
- I AM NOT A GENIUS.
590
00:25:58,090 --> 00:25:59,992
MY AUNT LULAH IS THE GENIUS.
591
00:26:00,026 --> 00:26:02,028
SEE, UM, BACK IN HAZELHURST,
WHEN I WAS A BOY,
592
00:26:02,061 --> 00:26:03,963
MY MAMA WORKED AND SCRAPED
TO BUY ME A PAIR
593
00:26:03,996 --> 00:26:05,965
OF GOOD WHITE PANTS
FOR CHURCH.
594
00:26:05,998 --> 00:26:07,199
WELL, BEFORE WE GOT THERE,
595
00:26:07,233 --> 00:26:08,735
I STOLE
SOME BOYSENBERRY COBBLER,
596
00:26:08,768 --> 00:26:11,103
AND, UH, YOU CAN IMAGINE
THE REST.
597
00:26:11,137 --> 00:26:13,205
WELL, MAMA WAS JUST
ABOUT TO WHUP ME,
598
00:26:13,239 --> 00:26:14,674
BUT AUNT LULAH
SAVED THE DAY.
599
00:26:14,707 --> 00:26:16,609
SHE PICKED A MESS
OF BOYSENBERRIES,
600
00:26:16,643 --> 00:26:18,277
MADE SOME BOYSENBERRY JUICE,
AND THE NEXT SUNDAY
601
00:26:18,310 --> 00:26:20,012
I HAD THE MOST FABULOUS
PURPLE PANTS TO WEAR TO CHURCH,
602
00:26:20,046 --> 00:26:21,347
WHICH I, OF COURSE, ACCESSORIZED
603
00:26:21,380 --> 00:26:23,149
WITH A YELLOW SWEATER
AND A PINK SCARF.
604
00:26:23,182 --> 00:26:24,684
- THAT'S A HELL OF A STORY.
605
00:26:24,717 --> 00:26:25,952
- IT'S HOW
I GOT MY FAIRY WINGS--
606
00:26:25,985 --> 00:26:27,720
BY LEARNING
HOW TO TURN A DISASTER
607
00:26:27,754 --> 00:26:30,690
INTO SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL.
608
00:26:30,723 --> 00:26:32,759
NOW, YOU TWO, WALK
DOWN THAT AISLE
609
00:26:32,792 --> 00:26:34,293
AND LIVE HAPPILY
EVER AFTER.
610
00:26:34,326 --> 00:26:35,762
- THANKS.
611
00:26:35,795 --> 00:26:38,765
[Wedding March plays]
612
00:26:38,798 --> 00:26:46,739
*
613
00:26:55,081 --> 00:26:57,984
[upbeat electronic music]
614
00:26:58,017 --> 00:27:05,958
*
615
00:27:11,097 --> 00:27:13,332
- COME ON, HONEY,
THERE'S NO BACK ROOM HERE,
616
00:27:13,365 --> 00:27:17,136
SO, UH, GUESS IT'S
OFF TO MY PLACE.
617
00:27:17,169 --> 00:27:19,438
- LAST TIME I LOOKED, THERE WAS
A BACK ROOM AT BABYLON.
618
00:27:19,471 --> 00:27:21,207
- OH, BRIAN.
HEY, HEY.
619
00:27:21,240 --> 00:27:23,309
WE, UH--WE WERE PLANNING
TO STOP BY LATER.
620
00:27:23,342 --> 00:27:26,078
- WHY NOT NOW?
AVOID THE CROWDS.
621
00:27:28,114 --> 00:27:30,282
- LOOK, IT'S NOT MY FAULT
THE HERD'S MOVED ON.
622
00:27:30,316 --> 00:27:33,753
ALL THE HOT GUYS
COME HERE NOW...
623
00:27:33,786 --> 00:27:35,822
EXCEPT FOR THAT ONE.
624
00:27:35,855 --> 00:27:37,356
JESUS, LOOK AT HIM.
625
00:27:37,389 --> 00:27:41,861
TIRED OLD QUEEN, DESPERATELY
TRYING TO HOLD ON TO--
626
00:27:50,402 --> 00:27:51,437
TEDDY!
627
00:27:51,470 --> 00:27:59,812
*
628
00:28:10,089 --> 00:28:12,258
- ET TU, THEODORE?
629
00:28:12,291 --> 00:28:14,060
- BRIAN, WHAT ARE
YOU DOING HERE?
630
00:28:14,093 --> 00:28:16,929
- JUST CHECKING OUT
THE COMPETITION.
631
00:28:16,963 --> 00:28:18,397
- ME TOO.
632
00:28:18,430 --> 00:28:20,399
- IS THAT WHY YOU'RE
IN DISGUISE?
633
00:28:20,432 --> 00:28:22,268
- [chuckles]
IT'S...
634
00:28:22,301 --> 00:28:24,270
MY NEW LOOK.
635
00:28:24,303 --> 00:28:25,805
I WAS, UH...
636
00:28:25,838 --> 00:28:27,940
I WAS GOING FOR SOMETHING
NEWER, HIPPER.
637
00:28:27,974 --> 00:28:29,508
- I'M TRYING TO BRING THEM
BACK TO BABYLON,
638
00:28:29,541 --> 00:28:31,878
NOT SCARE THEM AWAY.
639
00:28:31,911 --> 00:28:34,280
[moans]
640
00:28:34,313 --> 00:28:36,015
- WELL, YOU BETTER DO IT FAST,
641
00:28:36,048 --> 00:28:38,284
OR YOU'RE GOING
TO LOSE YOUR PANTS.
642
00:28:38,317 --> 00:28:40,219
- MIGHT AS WELL
START NOW.
643
00:28:40,252 --> 00:28:45,124
*
644
00:28:53,866 --> 00:28:57,503
[man moans]
645
00:28:57,536 --> 00:28:59,371
- OH, YEAH.
646
00:28:59,405 --> 00:29:02,274
[moans]
OH, YEAH.
647
00:29:05,011 --> 00:29:07,513
OH, YEAH,
FUCK ME HARDER.
648
00:29:07,546 --> 00:29:09,515
[moaning]
649
00:29:09,548 --> 00:29:10,917
- YOU LIKE THAT?
- OH, YEAH.
650
00:29:10,950 --> 00:29:14,153
POUND MY ASS. OH.
651
00:29:14,186 --> 00:29:15,454
- MAYBE.
652
00:29:25,197 --> 00:29:28,167
[groaning]
653
00:29:35,207 --> 00:29:37,043
HOW WAS YOUR FLIGHT?
654
00:29:39,578 --> 00:29:43,215
[baby crying]
- [singing in Hebrew]
655
00:29:43,249 --> 00:29:49,889
*
656
00:29:49,922 --> 00:29:51,223
[baby cries]
657
00:29:51,257 --> 00:29:54,293
OKAY, LET'S TRY THIS AGAIN.
658
00:29:54,326 --> 00:29:57,263
[knock at door]
659
00:30:01,200 --> 00:30:03,302
- CHRIST, WHAT'S GOING ON
IN HERE?
660
00:30:03,335 --> 00:30:05,171
I COULD HEAR HER CRYING
HALFWAY AROUND THE BLOCK.
661
00:30:05,204 --> 00:30:07,573
- COLIC--SHE'S BEEN
UP ALL NIGHT.
662
00:30:07,606 --> 00:30:09,575
- OH, SHE GOT THAT
FROM MICHAEL.
663
00:30:09,608 --> 00:30:11,043
I ALWAYS KNEW
HE'D TURN OUT GAY.
664
00:30:11,077 --> 00:30:12,511
HE WAS A SCREAMER
FROM THE DAY HE ARRIVED.
665
00:30:12,544 --> 00:30:14,881
COME HERE, HONEYBUN.
666
00:30:16,648 --> 00:30:19,118
"HONEYBUN" IS WHAT
I USED TO CALL MICHAEL.
667
00:30:19,151 --> 00:30:20,920
SHH, SHH.
668
00:30:20,953 --> 00:30:23,455
- LOOK, YOU REALLY
SHOULDN'T BE HERE,
669
00:30:23,489 --> 00:30:27,093
CONSIDERING HE PLANS
TO SUE ME FOR CUSTODY.
670
00:30:27,126 --> 00:30:29,929
- YOU STILL HAVEN'T LEARNED,
HAVE YOU?
671
00:30:29,962 --> 00:30:33,399
WE HAVE A CHILD HERE
WITH A PROBLEM.
672
00:30:33,432 --> 00:30:36,202
YOU GOT A HOT-WATER BOTTLE?
673
00:30:36,235 --> 00:30:38,204
- IN THE KITCHEN,
I THINK.
674
00:30:38,237 --> 00:30:41,607
- FILL IT...
675
00:30:41,640 --> 00:30:43,275
WITH WARM WATER.
676
00:30:43,309 --> 00:30:44,643
[baby crying]
677
00:30:44,676 --> 00:30:46,412
GRANDMA'S GOING TO MAKE IT
ALL RIGHT.
678
00:30:46,445 --> 00:30:48,881
YES, SHE IS.
679
00:30:48,915 --> 00:30:51,150
GRANDMA'S GOING TO MAKE IT
ALL RIGHT.
680
00:30:51,183 --> 00:30:54,286
YES, I KNOW IT HURTS.
I KNOW IT HURTS.
681
00:30:54,320 --> 00:30:56,422
HERE'S MOMMY.
682
00:30:56,455 --> 00:30:59,358
THANKS.
683
00:30:59,391 --> 00:31:01,227
[baby wailing]
684
00:31:01,260 --> 00:31:05,064
SHH, SHH, SHH.
685
00:31:07,299 --> 00:31:08,968
- DEBBIE...
686
00:31:09,001 --> 00:31:10,903
I KNOW YOU WANT TO SEE
YOUR GRANDDAUGHTER,
687
00:31:10,937 --> 00:31:12,905
AND I APPRECIATE
YOUR HELP, BUT...
688
00:31:12,939 --> 00:31:14,373
- BUT WHAT?
689
00:31:14,406 --> 00:31:16,408
- UNTIL THIS
THING'S SETTLED...
690
00:31:16,442 --> 00:31:19,245
- AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED,
IT ALREADY IS.
691
00:31:19,278 --> 00:31:20,679
THE THREE OF YOU CARRYING ON,
692
00:31:20,712 --> 00:31:22,514
EACH OF YOU WANTING A PIECE
OF THIS POOR CHILD,
693
00:31:22,548 --> 00:31:24,984
IT'S SHAMEFUL.
694
00:31:25,017 --> 00:31:29,288
IT'S WORSE THAN THAT KING,
YOU KNOW THE ONE--SOLOMON.
695
00:31:29,321 --> 00:31:31,657
YES.
696
00:31:31,690 --> 00:31:34,660
BUT THE BOTTOM LINE...
697
00:31:34,693 --> 00:31:39,131
I SAY A BABY BELONGS
WITH ITS MOTHER.
698
00:31:39,165 --> 00:31:41,600
- YOU DO?
699
00:31:41,633 --> 00:31:44,403
- MAYBE IT'S 'CAUSE
I'M A MOTHER...
700
00:31:44,436 --> 00:31:46,472
A SINGLE MOTHER.
701
00:31:46,505 --> 00:31:48,307
AND ANYONE WHO ISN'T
OR NEVER HAS BEEN
702
00:31:48,340 --> 00:31:51,177
HASN'T A FUCKING CLUE
HOW TOUGH THAT IS,
703
00:31:51,210 --> 00:31:53,612
AND THAT INCLUDES MY SON.
704
00:31:56,715 --> 00:32:00,086
SO, WHATEVER I CAN DO
TO HELP, I'M HERE.
705
00:32:00,119 --> 00:32:03,055
- THANK YOU
FOR BEING ON MY SIDE.
706
00:32:03,089 --> 00:32:06,292
- NOW HEAR THIS.
707
00:32:06,325 --> 00:32:10,062
THE ONLY ONE WHOSE SIDE I'M ON
IS MY GRANDDAUGHTER'S.
708
00:32:10,096 --> 00:32:12,664
ISN'T THAT RIGHT, HONEYBUN?
709
00:32:17,136 --> 00:32:19,571
[sighs]
SO TIRED.
710
00:32:19,605 --> 00:32:21,507
- I HATED IT OUT THERE.
711
00:32:21,540 --> 00:32:23,109
THE WEATHER NEVER CHANGES.
712
00:32:23,142 --> 00:32:25,511
ALL ANYBODY TALKS ABOUT
IS THE BUSINESS,
713
00:32:25,544 --> 00:32:27,479
IF YOU DON'T HAVE A GO PROJECT,
YOU'RE INVISIBLE.
714
00:32:27,513 --> 00:32:29,315
- YEAH, YEAH. AS THEY SAY IN THE
MOVIES, CUT TO THE CHASE.
715
00:32:29,348 --> 00:32:31,083
THE GUYS ARE HOT!
716
00:32:31,117 --> 00:32:33,719
- EXCEPT AFTER A WHILE, THEY
ALL START TO LOOK THE SAME--
717
00:32:33,752 --> 00:32:36,188
PERFECT HAIR, PERFECT TEETH,
PERFECT BODIES.
718
00:32:36,222 --> 00:32:37,623
- SOUNDS PERFECTLY AWFUL.
719
00:32:37,656 --> 00:32:39,458
- AND YOU CANNOT TRUST ANYONE
720
00:32:39,491 --> 00:32:41,527
OR BELIEVE ANYTHING
THAT ANYBODY EVER SAYS.
721
00:32:41,560 --> 00:32:44,496
EVERYBODY'S JUST LOOKING OUT FOR
THEMSELVES AND THEIR CAREERS.
722
00:32:44,530 --> 00:32:46,765
- YEAH, SOUNDS EXACTLY LIKE WHAT
YOU ALWAYS HEAR ABOUT L.A.--
723
00:32:46,798 --> 00:32:49,068
A LOT OF SHALLOW,
SUPERFICIAL ASSHOLES
724
00:32:49,101 --> 00:32:50,736
DESPERATELY TRYING TO
BE WHAT THEY'RE NOT.
725
00:32:50,769 --> 00:32:53,139
[scoffs]
726
00:32:53,172 --> 00:32:55,207
- HEY, DEB.
727
00:32:55,241 --> 00:32:57,343
CAN I GET A SOUP SPOON?
- YOU SURE CAN, HONEY.
728
00:32:57,376 --> 00:32:59,145
THEY'RE OVER BY THE COUNTER.
HELP YOURSELF.
729
00:32:59,178 --> 00:33:01,647
YOU'RE LUCKY YOU GOT
OUT OF THERE IN ONE PIECE, BABY.
730
00:33:01,680 --> 00:33:03,515
- SO MUCH
FOR RAGE: THE MOVIE.
731
00:33:03,549 --> 00:33:05,351
- SO MUCH
FOR "RAGE: THE MONEY."
732
00:33:05,384 --> 00:33:07,286
- UH, IT'S OKAY.
WE'LL BE FINE.
733
00:33:07,319 --> 00:33:09,555
- YOU KNOW, IT'S JUST AS WELL
THAT THEY DIDN'T MAKE IT.
734
00:33:09,588 --> 00:33:11,690
BEN, YOU WERE RIGHT--BY THE TIME
THEY'D HAVE FINISHED IT,
735
00:33:11,723 --> 00:33:14,693
RAGE WOULD'VE WOUND UP
STRAIGHT.
736
00:33:14,726 --> 00:33:16,762
- AT LEAST WE STILL
HAVE THE COMIC...
737
00:33:16,795 --> 00:33:18,764
OUR COMIC.
- AND MOST IMPORTANT--
738
00:33:18,797 --> 00:33:20,532
YOU'RE BACK HERE WITH US
WHERE YOU BELONG.
739
00:33:20,566 --> 00:33:22,401
- YEAH, WHAT ARE YOU
GOING TO DO NOW, BABY?
740
00:33:22,434 --> 00:33:24,770
- I HAVEN'T HAD MUCH CHANCE
TO THINK ABOUT IT.
741
00:33:24,803 --> 00:33:26,372
- DON'T YOU WORRY, BABY.
742
00:33:26,405 --> 00:33:28,240
YOUR OLD JOB IS STILL
HERE WAITING FOR YOU.
743
00:33:28,274 --> 00:33:31,777
YOU CAN START BUSSING TABLES
ANYTIME YOU WANT.
744
00:33:31,810 --> 00:33:33,179
[smooches]
745
00:33:36,148 --> 00:33:38,650
- SO WOULD YOU LIKE
TO SLIT YOUR THROAT NOW
746
00:33:38,684 --> 00:33:41,187
OR AFTER WE HAVE COFFEE?
747
00:33:47,359 --> 00:33:49,795
- EMMETT,
WELCOME TO CHANNEL 5 NEWS.
748
00:33:49,828 --> 00:33:52,131
EVERYONE IS STILL RAVING
ABOUT THE WEDDING.
749
00:33:52,164 --> 00:33:53,832
LILA'S FRIENDS WANT TO KNOW
WHERE SHE GOT THAT BLOUSE.
750
00:33:53,865 --> 00:33:55,667
SAID THEY NEVER SAW
SUCH A BEAUTIFUL COLOR.
751
00:33:55,701 --> 00:33:57,803
- WELL, I'M JUST RELIEVED
EVERYTHING WORKED OUT ALL RIGHT.
752
00:33:57,836 --> 00:33:59,338
IF THERE'S ANYTHING ELSE
I CAN DO FOR YOU,
753
00:33:59,371 --> 00:34:00,672
YOU KNOW,
YOUR NEXT WEDDING.
754
00:34:00,706 --> 00:34:03,442
[chuckles]
- ACTUALLY, THERE IS.
755
00:34:03,475 --> 00:34:06,445
I WATCHED YOU, DAY AFTER DAY,
THROUGH THIS ENTIRE EVENT.
756
00:34:06,478 --> 00:34:08,280
- YOU DID?
757
00:34:08,314 --> 00:34:11,617
- AND I HAVE
A LITTLE PROPOSITION TO MAKE.
758
00:34:11,650 --> 00:34:13,419
- YOU DO?
759
00:34:13,452 --> 00:34:16,755
- I WANT YOU, EMMETT.
760
00:34:16,788 --> 00:34:19,458
- LORD, WHAT IS IT
WITH ME AND STRAIGHT MEN?
761
00:34:19,491 --> 00:34:22,828
UM, MR. MAGRUDER,
I'M VERY FLATTERED,
762
00:34:22,861 --> 00:34:25,231
BUT YOU'RE
A MARRIED MAN NOW, SO...
763
00:34:25,264 --> 00:34:27,299
- WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU...?
YOU DON'T THINK I...?
764
00:34:27,333 --> 00:34:29,168
[laughing]
765
00:34:29,201 --> 00:34:33,305
PLEASE. NO.
766
00:34:33,339 --> 00:34:34,873
- WELL, YOU DID SAY
YOU WANTED ME.
767
00:34:34,906 --> 00:34:36,508
- FOR THE NEWS TEAM.
768
00:34:36,542 --> 00:34:40,179
- AS WHAT--SPORTS COMMENTATOR,
WEATHER GIRL?
769
00:34:40,212 --> 00:34:42,781
EITHER WAY, I-I THINK YOU'D
BE TERRIBLY DISAPPOINTED.
770
00:34:42,814 --> 00:34:44,250
- LISTEN,
I DON'T HAVE TO TELL YOU,
771
00:34:44,283 --> 00:34:45,484
QUEER IS VERY
HOT RIGHT NOW.
772
00:34:45,517 --> 00:34:47,319
EVERYBODY WANTS
THE GAY PERSPECTIVE,
773
00:34:47,353 --> 00:34:49,855
WHAT DO THE GAYS THINK ABOUT
FASHION, COOKING, DECORATING?
774
00:34:49,888 --> 00:34:51,857
LIKE YOU SAID,
THAT LITTLE FAIRY MAGIC
775
00:34:51,890 --> 00:34:53,659
THAT GIVES US STRAIGHTS
A LITTLE TWIST.
776
00:34:53,692 --> 00:34:55,727
AND YOU WANT ME TO...?
777
00:34:55,761 --> 00:34:57,196
- TO DO A NEW SEGMENT.
778
00:34:57,229 --> 00:34:59,131
OFFER US
THE, UH, GAY POINT OF VIEW.
779
00:34:59,165 --> 00:35:00,799
GIVE US SOME TIPS.
780
00:35:00,832 --> 00:35:02,868
DO SOME MAKEOVERS.
- BUT I-I'VE NEVER ...
781
00:35:02,901 --> 00:35:04,803
- AFTER THAT MAGIC ACT
YOU PERFORMED AT OUR WEDDING,
782
00:35:04,836 --> 00:35:06,872
YOU CAN DO ANYTHING.
783
00:35:06,905 --> 00:35:10,376
THAT INCLUDES BEING
CHANNEL 5'S QUEER GUY.
784
00:35:15,781 --> 00:35:17,216
[door closes]
785
00:35:17,249 --> 00:35:18,817
- WITHOUT THE LIGHTS
AND THE MUSIC
786
00:35:18,850 --> 00:35:21,553
AND THE HOT GUYS,
THIS IS JUST A ROOM, ISN'T IT?
787
00:35:21,587 --> 00:35:24,156
- IT'S ALL AN ILLUSION.
788
00:35:24,190 --> 00:35:27,359
NOTHING BUT
CHEAP THEATRICS.
789
00:35:27,393 --> 00:35:28,627
SORRY ABOUT YOUR BABY.
790
00:35:28,660 --> 00:35:30,762
- JENNY?
- RAGE.
791
00:35:30,796 --> 00:35:32,764
OH, THAT. WELL...
792
00:35:32,798 --> 00:35:36,768
RIGHT NOW I GOT MORE IMPORTANT
THINGS TO THINK ABOUT.
793
00:35:36,802 --> 00:35:40,906
SO WHY THE URGENT MESSAGE
ON MY CELL?
794
00:35:40,939 --> 00:35:45,244
- I WANT YOU TO LEAVE
MELANIE AND LINDSAY ALONE.
795
00:35:45,277 --> 00:35:46,512
THEY HAVE ENOUGH SHIT
TO WORK OUT RIGHT NOW,
796
00:35:46,545 --> 00:35:47,813
WITHOUT YOU SICCING
YOUR BULLDOG,
797
00:35:47,846 --> 00:35:50,916
OR SHOULD I SAY BULL-DYKE,
LAWYER ON THEM.
798
00:35:50,949 --> 00:35:52,684
- WELL, WHAT THE FUCK
BUSINESS IS IT OF YOURS
799
00:35:52,718 --> 00:35:55,321
IF I WANT TO HIRE A LAWYER?
WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TO...?
800
00:35:55,354 --> 00:35:57,723
- I'M GUS' FATHER.
THAT'S WHO THE FUCK I AM.
801
00:35:57,756 --> 00:36:00,326
- YOU HAD TO LOSE A BALL BEFORE
YOU EVEN KNEW HE WAS ALIVE.
802
00:36:06,632 --> 00:36:08,800
I'M SORRY. THAT WAS A...
803
00:36:08,834 --> 00:36:11,403
UNCALLED-FOR REMARK.
IT'S JUST THAT...
804
00:36:11,437 --> 00:36:13,539
BECAUSE THEY'RE
YOUR SON'S PARENTS TOO,
805
00:36:13,572 --> 00:36:15,307
I THOUGHT YOU'D UNDERSTAND.
806
00:36:15,341 --> 00:36:17,943
- WHAT I UNDERSTAND IS THAT
IF YOU GO THROUGH WITH THIS,
807
00:36:17,976 --> 00:36:19,811
LINDSAY'S GOING TO BE
THE ONE THAT GETS LEFT OUT.
808
00:36:19,845 --> 00:36:21,613
SHE'S GOING TO BE THE ONE
THAT GETS FUCKED OVER.
809
00:36:21,647 --> 00:36:23,282
- WELL, SHE SHOULD'VE THOUGHT
OF THAT
810
00:36:23,315 --> 00:36:25,317
BEFORE SHE CHEATED ON MEL
AND THEN LIED TO ME.
811
00:36:25,351 --> 00:36:27,553
- CHRIST. WOULD YOU GIVE
IT A REST ALREADY?
812
00:36:27,586 --> 00:36:29,555
WE ALL KNOW THE STORY.
813
00:36:29,588 --> 00:36:31,423
- WHY DON'T YOU STOP
DEFENDING HER FOR A CHANGE
814
00:36:31,457 --> 00:36:35,694
AND TRY DEFENDING ME,
YOUR BEST FRIEND?
815
00:36:35,727 --> 00:36:37,563
RIGHT NOW THE BEST THING
FOR JENNY REBECCA
816
00:36:37,596 --> 00:36:39,431
IS TO BE WITH BEN AND ME,
IN A STABLE HOME,
817
00:36:39,465 --> 00:36:43,969
NOT BEING PASSED BACK AND FORTH
BETWEEN TWO BATTLING LESBIANS.
818
00:36:44,002 --> 00:36:47,439
- WHEN DID YOU CHANGE?
819
00:36:47,473 --> 00:36:48,840
- WHAT?
820
00:36:48,874 --> 00:36:50,342
- WHEN DID YOU BECOME
THIS PIOUS,
821
00:36:50,376 --> 00:36:55,314
SANCTIMONIOUS,
JUDGMENTAL TWIT?
822
00:36:55,347 --> 00:36:57,983
- THE POINT IS NOT
WHEN DID I CHANGE.
823
00:36:58,016 --> 00:37:01,353
THE POINT IS,
WHY HAVEN'T YOU?
824
00:37:01,387 --> 00:37:02,988
WHEN ARE YOU GOING
TO STOP BEING SOME...
825
00:37:03,021 --> 00:37:05,324
OVER-THE-HILL CLUB BOY
AND GROW UP.
826
00:37:05,357 --> 00:37:08,360
- OH, SO NOW I'M THE OBJECT
OF YOUR DISAPPROVAL TOO.
827
00:37:10,562 --> 00:37:12,664
YOU AND THE NUTTY PROFESSOR
GET MARRIED,
828
00:37:12,698 --> 00:37:15,467
IN FUCKING CANADA!
829
00:37:15,501 --> 00:37:16,802
YOU MOVE TO STEPFORD AVENUE
830
00:37:16,835 --> 00:37:19,471
WITH ALL THE OTHER
ERSATZ HETEROSEXUALS,
831
00:37:19,505 --> 00:37:21,373
AND SUDDENLY
THAT GIVES YOU THE RIGHT
832
00:37:21,407 --> 00:37:25,744
TO MAKE PRONOUNCEMENTS
ON EVERYBODY ELSE'S LIFE?
833
00:37:25,777 --> 00:37:29,014
WELL, WELCOME TO THE OTHER SIDE
OF YOUR PERFECT MARRIAGE, MIKEY.
834
00:37:29,047 --> 00:37:32,484
IT'S CALLED GAY DIVORCE.
835
00:37:32,518 --> 00:37:34,486
FAGS AND DYKES
CAN FUCK UP THEIR LIVES
836
00:37:34,520 --> 00:37:37,889
JUST LIKE THE REST
OF THE WORLD.
837
00:37:37,923 --> 00:37:40,626
- I'M JUST TRYING TO DO
WHAT'S BEST FOR MY DAUGHTER
838
00:37:40,659 --> 00:37:42,394
AND PROTECT MY RIGHTS.
839
00:37:45,664 --> 00:37:47,966
I'M SORRY YOU
CAN'T SEE THAT.
840
00:37:50,536 --> 00:37:53,505
[electronic music]
841
00:37:53,539 --> 00:38:01,480
*
842
00:38:16,695 --> 00:38:19,531
[doorbell rings]
843
00:38:19,565 --> 00:38:23,469
- JUST CALL ME
"THE QUEER GUY."
844
00:38:23,502 --> 00:38:27,072
- WOULDN'T THAT BE LIKE CALLING
THE POPE "THE CATHOLIC GUY"?
845
00:38:27,105 --> 00:38:29,074
- DON MAGRUDER, THE PRODUCER
OF THE CHANNEL 5 NEWS--
846
00:38:29,107 --> 00:38:32,077
I JUST DID HIS WEDDING--
WANTS ME TO JOIN THE NEWS TEAM.
847
00:38:32,110 --> 00:38:34,546
I AM RETURNING
TO THE CAMERAS.
848
00:38:34,580 --> 00:38:36,682
THIS TIME
WITH MY CLOTHES ON.
849
00:38:36,715 --> 00:38:39,117
I'M GOING TO BE CHANNEL 5'S
"QUEER GUY,"
850
00:38:39,150 --> 00:38:40,886
SHARING TIPS, MAKING QUIPS
851
00:38:40,919 --> 00:38:43,422
AND GENERALLY SHOWING PITTSBURGH
HOW TO BE FABULOUS.
852
00:38:43,455 --> 00:38:46,492
- YOU CAN START
BY SHOWING ME.
853
00:38:46,525 --> 00:38:48,427
LOOK AT MY HAIR, MY...
854
00:38:48,460 --> 00:38:50,429
GUT, MY FACE.
855
00:38:50,462 --> 00:38:51,830
GOD, I LOOK
LIKE A SHAR-PEI.
856
00:38:51,863 --> 00:38:54,833
- THERE IS NOTHING WRONG
WITH THE WAY YOU LOOK.
857
00:38:54,866 --> 00:38:56,602
- WOULD YOU STOP BEING A FRIEND
AND BE HONEST.
858
00:38:56,635 --> 00:38:58,970
- I AM BEING HONEST.
COME HERE.
859
00:38:59,004 --> 00:39:01,907
COME HERE.
860
00:39:01,940 --> 00:39:03,975
LOOK AT YOURSELF.
- [sighs]
861
00:39:04,009 --> 00:39:06,111
- YOUR TRUE SELF...
862
00:39:06,144 --> 00:39:09,748
THE SELF THAT KICKED CRYSTAL,
THAT COMPLETED THE LIBERTY RIDE,
863
00:39:09,781 --> 00:39:10,916
THAT GOT A GREAT JOB.
864
00:39:10,949 --> 00:39:12,918
YOU TURNED
YOUR LIFE AROUND, TEDDY.
865
00:39:12,951 --> 00:39:15,587
AND THAT IS SOMETHING
TO BE VERY, VERY PROUD OF.
866
00:39:15,621 --> 00:39:17,589
YOU'RE PRACTICALLY
A HERO, OKAY?
867
00:39:17,623 --> 00:39:19,591
SO WHO CARES
IF YOU PUT ON A FEW POUNDS,
868
00:39:19,625 --> 00:39:22,461
OR HAVE A FEW
CHARACTER LINES?
869
00:39:22,494 --> 00:39:25,897
STOP LOOKING AT THE SHELL
AND SEE THE PEARL.
870
00:39:28,900 --> 00:39:31,603
- YOU'RE RIGHT, EM.
871
00:39:31,637 --> 00:39:35,674
YOU'RE SO RIGHT.
872
00:39:35,707 --> 00:39:37,743
IT DID SOUND GOOD,
DIDN'T IT?
873
00:39:37,776 --> 00:39:40,612
MAYBE I CAN USE THAT
IN A SEGMENT.
874
00:39:40,646 --> 00:39:43,682
WELL, THIS QUEER GUY'S
GOT TO GET TO THE GYM
875
00:39:43,715 --> 00:39:46,017
AND THEN, UH, GET
SOME BEAUTY REST.
876
00:39:46,051 --> 00:39:47,919
THE CAMERA'S MERCILESS,
YOU KNOW.
877
00:39:47,953 --> 00:39:50,756
SHOWS EVERY LINE
AND IMMEDIATELY ADDS 10 POUNDS.
878
00:39:50,789 --> 00:39:52,758
I'LL SEE YA, BABY!
879
00:39:52,791 --> 00:39:54,426
- THANKS, EM.
880
00:39:54,460 --> 00:39:56,628
HEY, YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE
A GREAT QUEER GUY.
881
00:39:56,662 --> 00:39:59,598
YOU ALREADY ARE.
- CAN'T HELP IT.
882
00:40:06,838 --> 00:40:14,813
*
883
00:40:20,151 --> 00:40:23,789
- HI. UH, YES, UH,
MY NAME IS TED SCHMIDT,
884
00:40:23,822 --> 00:40:27,058
AND I'D LIKE TO MAKE AN
APPOINTMENT TO SEE THE DOCTOR.
885
00:40:27,092 --> 00:40:29,194
[door bells jingle]
886
00:40:29,227 --> 00:40:31,830
- BE RIGHT WITH YOU.
887
00:40:36,868 --> 00:40:39,605
MY ATTORNEY ADVISED ME
NOT TO TALK TO YOU.
888
00:40:39,638 --> 00:40:41,607
- WELL, I'M AN ATTORNEY TOO,
889
00:40:41,640 --> 00:40:44,943
AND I'D SAY SHE'S BEING
OVERLY CAUTIOUS.
890
00:40:44,976 --> 00:40:47,679
AFTER ALL, WE'RE FRIENDS...
891
00:40:47,713 --> 00:40:49,815
FAMILY.
892
00:40:49,848 --> 00:40:51,717
- ARE WE?
893
00:40:51,750 --> 00:40:54,820
I'M SURE
WE CAN WORK THIS OUT,
894
00:40:54,853 --> 00:40:56,888
SAVE OURSELVES A LOT OF GRIEF
AND LEGAL EXPENSES,
895
00:40:56,922 --> 00:40:58,690
WHICH, IF I KNOW
ANYTHING ABOUT LAWYERS,
896
00:40:58,724 --> 00:41:02,694
IS WHY SHE DOESN'T WANT US
COMMUNICATING.
897
00:41:02,728 --> 00:41:06,632
LOOK, I ADMIT I OVERREACTED.
898
00:41:06,665 --> 00:41:09,501
I WAS JUST BEING PROTECTIVE,
THE WAY ANY MOTHER WOULD.
899
00:41:09,535 --> 00:41:11,703
YOU CAN UNDERSTAND THAT.
900
00:41:11,737 --> 00:41:13,639
- I SUPPOSE.
901
00:41:15,807 --> 00:41:19,578
- THERE'S NO QUESTION YOU'RE
PART OF JENNY REBECCA'S LIFE.
902
00:41:19,611 --> 00:41:21,913
IT'S JUST THAT
SHE'S STILL YOUNG.
903
00:41:21,947 --> 00:41:24,149
SHE'S STILL BREAST-FEEDING.
904
00:41:24,182 --> 00:41:26,985
SO I WAS THINKING THAT MAYBE
LATER ON DOWN THE ROAD,
905
00:41:27,018 --> 00:41:28,854
SAY WHEN SHE'S FOUR OR FIVE,
906
00:41:28,887 --> 00:41:30,856
SHE COULD SPEND SOME TIME
WITH YOU AND BEN.
907
00:41:30,889 --> 00:41:33,592
I THINK THAT'S
PERFECTLY REASONABLE.
908
00:41:33,625 --> 00:41:35,894
DON'T YOU?
909
00:41:38,163 --> 00:41:41,132
- HOW DUMB DO YOU THINK I AM?
910
00:41:41,166 --> 00:41:45,604
NO, DON'T ANSWER THAT.
I CAN IMAGINE.
911
00:41:45,637 --> 00:41:47,806
FIRST, YOU TELL ME I HAVE
NO RIGHTS, WHICH ISN'T TRUE.
912
00:41:47,839 --> 00:41:49,174
I HAVE AS MUCH RIGHTS AS YOU.
913
00:41:49,207 --> 00:41:51,643
NOW YOU TRY TO GET ME
TO AGREE NOT TO TAKE HER
914
00:41:51,677 --> 00:41:54,112
UNTIL SHE'S FOUR OR FIVE?
915
00:41:56,915 --> 00:41:58,884
I'M SORRY, MEL.
I'M NOT BACKING OFF.
916
00:41:58,917 --> 00:42:00,952
- I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU'RE DOING THIS,
917
00:42:00,986 --> 00:42:02,854
AFTER WE STOOD
RIGHT HERE IN YOUR STORE
918
00:42:02,888 --> 00:42:04,623
AND AGREED THAT YOU COULD BE
THE FATHER
919
00:42:04,656 --> 00:42:05,924
INSTEAD OF JUST A SPERM DONOR.
920
00:42:05,957 --> 00:42:07,759
- THEN WHY WON'T YOU
LET ME HAVE HER?
921
00:42:07,793 --> 00:42:09,227
- BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW SHIT
ABOUT RAISING A BABY.
922
00:42:09,260 --> 00:42:11,329
EVEN YOUR OWN MOTHER AGREES.
- MY MOTHER?
923
00:42:11,362 --> 00:42:13,164
- YEAH, SHE THINKS
YOU'RE BEHAVING LIKE AN ASSHOLE.
924
00:42:13,198 --> 00:42:16,167
- OH, REALLY?
YOU KNOW WHAT?
925
00:42:16,201 --> 00:42:19,070
I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK
WHAT MY MOTHER THINKS.
926
00:42:19,104 --> 00:42:20,906
JENNY REBECCA
IS MY DAUGHTER TOO,
927
00:42:20,939 --> 00:42:24,042
AND I'M GOING TO
HAVE JOINT CUSTODY.
928
00:42:24,075 --> 00:42:27,979
- THEN YOU GO AHEAD AND TRY,
BUT LET ME TELL YOU--
929
00:42:28,013 --> 00:42:31,182
YOU'RE NOT ONLY UP AGAINST
ONE ANGRY MOTHER AND LESBIAN,
930
00:42:31,216 --> 00:42:34,485
YOU'RE UP AGAINST
ONE PISSED-OFF LAWYER.
931
00:42:38,356 --> 00:42:41,326
[rock music]
932
00:42:41,359 --> 00:42:49,735
*
933
00:42:49,768 --> 00:42:52,137
- [moaning]
934
00:43:05,851 --> 00:43:13,759
*
935
00:43:25,771 --> 00:43:28,239
SO...
936
00:43:28,273 --> 00:43:30,876
WAS IT ALL
YOU REMEMBERED?
937
00:43:30,909 --> 00:43:33,879
- AND MORE.
- HMM.
938
00:43:33,912 --> 00:43:37,382
- WHAT ABOUT YOU?
- MMM.
939
00:43:37,415 --> 00:43:39,384
IT WAS OKAY.
940
00:43:39,417 --> 00:43:41,386
[both chuckle]
941
00:43:41,419 --> 00:43:43,254
- JUST OKAY?
942
00:43:43,288 --> 00:43:44,990
IT WAS GREAT.
943
00:43:45,023 --> 00:43:46,992
SAY IT WAS GREAT!
- [chuckles]
944
00:43:47,025 --> 00:43:49,394
- SAY IT WAS GREAT.
SAY IT.
945
00:43:49,427 --> 00:43:51,262
- [laughing]
946
00:43:51,296 --> 00:43:55,734
IT WAS GREAT. IT WAS GREAT.
IT WAS GREAT. IT WAS GREAT.
947
00:43:55,767 --> 00:43:57,268
- MM.
- IT WAS.
948
00:43:57,302 --> 00:44:00,038
IT WAS GREAT.
949
00:44:03,709 --> 00:44:06,745
I THOUGHT
YOU WERE NEVER COMING BACK.
950
00:44:06,778 --> 00:44:10,281
- I FIGURED.
951
00:44:10,315 --> 00:44:12,984
- WELL, WHY WOULD YOU?
952
00:44:15,453 --> 00:44:17,388
CAN'T IMAGINE.
953
00:44:48,486 --> 00:44:50,688
- WHAT'S THIS?
954
00:44:54,092 --> 00:44:56,461
- [sighs]
955
00:44:56,494 --> 00:45:00,198
IT'S ONE OF MY STORYBOARDS
FROM THE MOVIE.
956
00:45:00,231 --> 00:45:02,133
- IT'S GOOD.
957
00:45:02,167 --> 00:45:04,102
- THANKS.
958
00:45:10,008 --> 00:45:12,277
- WHAT?
- NOTHING.
959
00:45:18,116 --> 00:45:21,152
I TOLD EVERYONE
HOW SHITTY IT WAS OUT THERE...
960
00:45:21,186 --> 00:45:24,489
HOW STUPID EVERYONE WAS.
961
00:45:24,522 --> 00:45:26,257
THE TRUTH IS I LOVED IT.
962
00:45:29,127 --> 00:45:32,163
- I KNOW.
[chuckles]
963
00:45:32,197 --> 00:45:35,867
IT WAS HOT. IT WAS FUN.
IT WAS EXCITING.
964
00:45:37,903 --> 00:45:39,404
WE WERE GOING TO CHANGE
THE WORLD--
965
00:45:39,437 --> 00:45:42,007
THE FIRST GAY SUPERHERO.
966
00:45:42,040 --> 00:45:45,243
[chuckles]
967
00:45:45,276 --> 00:45:47,913
NOW IT'S OVER.
968
00:45:55,887 --> 00:45:58,756
- AND NOW YOU'RE BACK.
969
00:46:04,229 --> 00:46:07,498
IT MUST BE QUITE
A LETDOWN AFTER ALL THAT.
970
00:46:11,436 --> 00:46:13,204
- THERE'S STILL ONE THING
PITTSBURGH HAS
971
00:46:13,238 --> 00:46:15,173
THAT HOLLYWOOD DOESN'T.
972
00:46:23,448 --> 00:46:26,517
THAT IS, IF THE
OFFER STILL STANDS.
973
00:46:52,110 --> 00:46:55,080
[rock music]
974
00:46:55,113 --> 00:47:03,121
*
975
00:47:07,125 --> 00:47:11,096
- * IF I WROTE A BOOK
ABOUT YOU *
976
00:47:11,129 --> 00:47:15,100
* A THOUSAND PAGES
WOULD NOT BE ENOUGH *
977
00:47:15,133 --> 00:47:19,104
* NO, NO AMOUNT OF WORDS
COULD OUTDO *
978
00:47:19,137 --> 00:47:22,974
* OR DESCRIBE
OUR KIND OF LOVE *
979
00:47:23,008 --> 00:47:26,111
* I'M SPEECHLESS
980
00:47:26,144 --> 00:47:27,612
* WHEN I SEE YOU
981
00:47:27,645 --> 00:47:30,982
* I FEEL MY KNEES GET WEAK
982
00:47:31,016 --> 00:47:33,618
* I'M SPEECHLESS
983
00:47:33,651 --> 00:47:35,620
* YET MY LIPS CAN DO
984
00:47:35,653 --> 00:47:39,124
* EVERYTHING BUT SPEAK
985
00:47:39,157 --> 00:47:43,128
* NO, THE CAT'S NOT GOT
MY TONGUE *
986
00:47:43,161 --> 00:47:46,497
* AND EVERYTHING ELSE IS OKAY
987
00:47:46,531 --> 00:47:51,002
* IF A PICTURE'S WORTH
A THOUSAND WORDS *
988
00:47:51,036 --> 00:47:54,139
* I WANT TO TELL YOU SOMETHING
I CAN'T SAY *
989
00:47:54,172 --> 00:47:57,308
* I'M SPEECHLESS
990
00:47:57,342 --> 00:47:59,144
* WHEN I SEE YOU
991
00:47:59,177 --> 00:48:02,313
* I FEEL MY KNEES GET WEAK
992
00:48:02,347 --> 00:48:05,316
* I'M SPEECHLESS
993
00:48:05,350 --> 00:48:07,152
* YET MY LIPS CAN DO
994
00:48:07,185 --> 00:48:11,322
* EVERYTHING BUT SPEAK
995
00:48:11,356 --> 00:48:14,325
* CONVERSATIONS ALL AROUND
996
00:48:14,359 --> 00:48:18,163
* YOU CAN HEAR 'EM
'CAUSE IT'S WHAT WE DO *
997
00:48:18,196 --> 00:48:22,167
* BUT WHEN I TRY
TO COMMUNICATE *
998
00:48:22,200 --> 00:48:26,037
* WORDS FAIL
WHEN IT COMES TO YOU *
999
00:48:26,071 --> 00:48:28,673
* I'M SPEECHLESS
1000
00:48:28,706 --> 00:48:34,579
*
1001
00:48:34,612 --> 00:48:37,182
* I'M SPEECHLESS
1002
00:48:37,215 --> 00:48:38,349
* WHEN I SEE YOU
1003
00:48:38,383 --> 00:48:42,020
* I FEEL MY KNEES GET WEAK
1004
00:48:42,053 --> 00:48:44,689
* I'M SPEECHLESS
1005
00:48:44,722 --> 00:48:46,557
* YET MY LIPS CAN DO
1006
00:48:46,591 --> 00:48:49,360
* EVERYTHING BUT SPEAK
1007
00:48:49,394 --> 00:48:53,064
*
73423
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