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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:10,144 --> 00:00:12,513 - * ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR FIVE, SIX * 2 00:00:12,546 --> 00:00:13,647 * SHAKE IT, DUDE 3 00:00:13,681 --> 00:00:21,589 * 4 00:00:35,436 --> 00:00:37,438 - * CUE THE PULSE TO BEGIN 5 00:00:46,247 --> 00:00:49,717 * CUE THE PULSE TO BEGIN 6 00:00:49,750 --> 00:00:53,554 * CUE THE PULSE TO BEGIN 7 00:00:53,587 --> 00:00:56,524 * CUE THE PULSE TO BEGIN 8 00:00:59,593 --> 00:01:01,729 - HEY, WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO WITH THESE? 9 00:01:01,762 --> 00:01:04,732 [indistinct chatter] 10 00:01:07,135 --> 00:01:08,736 - OKAY, I'LL TAKE THESE TO THE WAREHOUSE. 11 00:01:08,769 --> 00:01:10,738 I'LL BE BACK IN AN HOUR. 12 00:01:10,771 --> 00:01:13,441 - WAIT, WAIT. GRAB THESE. 13 00:01:13,474 --> 00:01:16,544 - WE HAVE TO BE OUT OF HERE BY THE END OF THE DAY. 14 00:01:36,630 --> 00:01:39,233 [chatter continues] 15 00:01:50,178 --> 00:01:52,580 - HEY, WHAT ABOUT THESE LIFE-SIZED CUTOUTS? 16 00:01:54,515 --> 00:01:56,350 - IT ALL SEEMS TO BE COMING TOGETHER-- 17 00:01:56,384 --> 00:01:58,219 NO GLITCHES THAT I CAN FORESEE. 18 00:01:58,252 --> 00:01:59,620 EVERYTHING LOOKS GOOD. 19 00:01:59,653 --> 00:02:01,222 NEW LEASE HAS BEEN SIGNED, 20 00:02:01,255 --> 00:02:02,490 THE LIQUOR LICENSE HAS BEEN TRANSFERRED 21 00:02:02,523 --> 00:02:03,891 INTO THE NAME OF KINNETIKORP. 22 00:02:03,924 --> 00:02:05,893 YOU'VE GOT ENOUGH INSURANCE THAT IF SOMEONE 23 00:02:05,926 --> 00:02:07,695 SO AS MUCH SNEEZES, YOU'RE PROTECTED. 24 00:02:07,728 --> 00:02:10,764 IN SHORT, THE JOINT'S ALL YOURS. 25 00:02:10,798 --> 00:02:13,234 - THEODORE, YOU ARE A MARVEL. 26 00:02:13,267 --> 00:02:15,169 - ALTHOUGH WHEN I SAID, "GO BUY YOURSELF A NEW TOY," 27 00:02:15,203 --> 00:02:16,904 THIS ISN'T EXACTLY THE TOY I HAD IN MIND. 28 00:02:16,937 --> 00:02:18,372 - HEY, IT SAYS ON THE BOX 29 00:02:18,406 --> 00:02:20,641 "APPROPRIATE FOR BOYS AGES 19 TO 30," 30 00:02:20,674 --> 00:02:23,611 SO STOP FRETTING, MOTHER, I CAN AFFORD IT. 31 00:02:25,546 --> 00:02:27,515 - ARE YOU SURE WE CAN AFFORD IT? 32 00:02:27,548 --> 00:02:29,550 - WE DID THE MATH A DOZEN TIMES. 33 00:02:29,583 --> 00:02:31,785 EVEN WITHOUT THE MOVIE, WE EACH HAVE ENOUGH INCOME, 34 00:02:31,819 --> 00:02:34,255 PLUS THE MONEY WE'VE SAVED. 35 00:02:34,288 --> 00:02:35,923 - I JUST NEED SOME REASSURANCE. 36 00:02:35,956 --> 00:02:38,659 - OH. 37 00:02:38,692 --> 00:02:41,395 MMM, HOW'S THAT? 38 00:02:41,429 --> 00:02:43,531 - I'M ALREADY THINKING COLOR SCHEME. 39 00:02:43,564 --> 00:02:45,533 - OOH. 40 00:02:45,566 --> 00:02:47,835 - ALL THE BACK ROOM NEEDS IS A FRESH COAT OF BLACK PAINT 41 00:02:47,868 --> 00:02:49,803 AND A CONDOM DISPENSER. 42 00:02:49,837 --> 00:02:52,973 - WHAT ABOUT PINK WALLS WITH A SKY-BLUE CEILING 43 00:02:53,006 --> 00:02:55,543 AND WHITE, FLUFFY CLOUDS FOR THE BABY'S ROOM? 44 00:02:55,576 --> 00:02:57,278 - YEAH, IT'S AMAZING HOW WITH A FEW SIMPLE TOUCHES, 45 00:02:57,311 --> 00:02:58,679 YOU CAN TURN A TIRED OLD ROOM 46 00:02:58,712 --> 00:03:00,514 INTO A FRESH AND INVITING SPACE. 47 00:03:00,548 --> 00:03:02,316 - OR WE COULD WALLPAPER. 48 00:03:02,350 --> 00:03:04,418 REMEMBER HOW MONTY AND ELI HAD THEIR KIDS' ROOM WALLPAPERED 49 00:03:04,452 --> 00:03:05,853 WITH DISNEY CHARACTERS? 50 00:03:05,886 --> 00:03:07,555 - AND, UH, GET A CLEANING CREW IN HERE 51 00:03:07,588 --> 00:03:10,691 TO JACKHAMMER THE DRIED CUM OFF THE FLOOR. 52 00:03:10,724 --> 00:03:13,294 - HALF OF IT'S PROBABLY YOURS. 53 00:03:13,327 --> 00:03:15,229 - WITH ALL THIS SPACE, 54 00:03:15,263 --> 00:03:16,764 AT LEAST WE WON'T BE ON TOP OF EACH OTHER. 55 00:03:16,797 --> 00:03:19,967 - YEAH, UNLESS WE CHOOSE TO BE. 56 00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:23,304 - I WANT TO REOPEN BY FRIDAY. - FRIDAY? 57 00:03:23,337 --> 00:03:25,239 THIS FRIDAY? BUT THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE. 58 00:03:25,273 --> 00:03:26,707 - WELL, YOU SAID EVERY DAY 59 00:03:26,740 --> 00:03:28,476 THAT WE'RE CLOSED, WE'RE LOSING MONEY. 60 00:03:28,509 --> 00:03:29,877 - YEAH, BUT WE STILL NEED TO LINE UP BARTENDERS, GO-GO BOYS, 61 00:03:29,910 --> 00:03:31,312 A NEW MANAGER... 62 00:03:31,345 --> 00:03:32,446 WELL, THEN YOU BETTER LINE THEM UP. 63 00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:33,781 - BUT-- 64 00:03:33,814 --> 00:03:36,584 - THERE'S SO MUCH TO DO. 65 00:03:36,617 --> 00:03:39,320 - THEY SAY IT TOOK 500 YEARS TO COMPLETE NOTRE DAME. 66 00:03:39,353 --> 00:03:42,323 - [chuckles] IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE ENCOURAGING? 67 00:03:42,356 --> 00:03:44,792 - WE'RE MAKING A HOME, TOGETHER. 68 00:03:44,825 --> 00:03:48,896 WHO CARES HOW LONG IT TAKES? 69 00:03:48,929 --> 00:03:50,464 - WELL, I-IF THERE'S A PROBLEM, 70 00:03:50,498 --> 00:03:52,466 WE'LL JUST CHANGE THE TABLECLOTHS... 71 00:03:52,500 --> 00:03:54,602 AND THE NAPKINS... 72 00:03:54,635 --> 00:03:57,338 AND THE FLOWERS... 73 00:03:57,371 --> 00:03:58,906 AND THE MENU. 74 00:03:58,939 --> 00:04:01,342 LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT TO CHANGE THE GROOM. 75 00:04:01,375 --> 00:04:04,812 [laughs] OKAY. 76 00:04:04,845 --> 00:04:06,547 - WHO WAS THAT? 77 00:04:06,580 --> 00:04:09,350 - UGH. THE WEDDING OF ALIEN AND PREDATOR. 78 00:04:09,383 --> 00:04:12,019 THE GROOM'S THE PRODUCER OF THE CHANNEL 5 6:00 NEWS. 79 00:04:12,052 --> 00:04:14,622 BELIEVE ME, IT'LL BE BIG NEWS IF I SURVIVE. 80 00:04:14,655 --> 00:04:16,290 THE BRIDE IS A TWICE-DIVORCED DRAMA QUEEN, 81 00:04:16,324 --> 00:04:17,758 PANZER DIVISION, 82 00:04:17,791 --> 00:04:19,693 WHO'S CONVINCED THERE'S GOING TO BE A DISASTER. 83 00:04:19,727 --> 00:04:22,029 AND, BELIEVE ME, IF SHE DOESN'T GET OFF MY ASS, 84 00:04:22,062 --> 00:04:24,632 WHICH ARE WORDS YOU RARELY HEAR ME SAY, THERE MAY BE. 85 00:04:24,665 --> 00:04:26,300 - WELL, CAN'T BE WORSE 86 00:04:26,334 --> 00:04:27,768 THAN MEL AND LINDSAY'S ANNIVERSARY SURPRISE. 87 00:04:27,801 --> 00:04:29,637 - YEAH, NO SHIT. 88 00:04:29,670 --> 00:04:31,305 - YEAH, NOW, HONEY, YOU CAN'T LET YOURSELF GET ALL WORKED UP. 89 00:04:31,339 --> 00:04:32,906 - I TOLD YOU TO KEEP YOUR FUCKING PANTS ON. 90 00:04:32,940 --> 00:04:35,042 I'LL TAKE YOUR ORDER AS SOON AS I CAN. 91 00:04:35,075 --> 00:04:37,378 - OF COURSE, I REALIZE THAT MAY BE GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE. 92 00:04:37,411 --> 00:04:39,780 OKAY, BOYS, BACON CHEESEBURGER FOR MICHAEL, 93 00:04:39,813 --> 00:04:41,582 POT PIE FOR EM... - THANKS. 94 00:04:41,615 --> 00:04:43,917 - AND A B.L.T. FOR TEDDY-- 95 00:04:43,951 --> 00:04:47,287 HOLD THE BACON, LETTUCE, BREAD, MAYO, AND FRIES. 96 00:04:49,457 --> 00:04:52,059 - YOU TRYING TO KEEP YOURSELF IN SHAPE FOR YOUR NEW BOYFRIEND? 97 00:04:52,092 --> 00:04:53,594 - HE'S ADORABLE. 98 00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:55,663 - YEAH. HE'S HISTORY. 99 00:04:55,696 --> 00:05:00,668 HE JACKS OFF TO PHOTOS OF TED KENNEDY. 100 00:05:00,701 --> 00:05:02,403 HE ACTUALLY THOUGHT MARLON BRANDO 101 00:05:02,436 --> 00:05:05,072 NEEDED TO GAIN A FEW POUNDS. 102 00:05:05,105 --> 00:05:06,674 THAT'S WHY HE WAS IN LOVE WITH ME-- 103 00:05:06,707 --> 00:05:08,442 FAT AND OLD TURN HIM ON. 104 00:05:08,476 --> 00:05:10,978 - TEDDY, YOU'RE NOT FAT... 105 00:05:11,011 --> 00:05:13,080 WELL, NOT HUGELY-GROSSLY. 106 00:05:13,113 --> 00:05:15,683 - AND YOU'RE CERTAINLY NOT OLD. 107 00:05:15,716 --> 00:05:17,017 - EXCUSE ME, SIR? 108 00:05:17,050 --> 00:05:19,553 SIR! 109 00:05:19,587 --> 00:05:22,890 BABYLON REOPENS FRIDAY NIGHT. 110 00:05:22,923 --> 00:05:26,827 HERE YOU GO, GUYS. CHECK IT OUT. 111 00:05:26,860 --> 00:05:30,431 - HE CALLED ME "SIR." 112 00:05:30,464 --> 00:05:33,734 HE SPOKE LOUDLY SO I COULD HEAR. 113 00:05:33,767 --> 00:05:35,736 - I THOUGHT BABYLON WENT BELLY UP. 114 00:05:35,769 --> 00:05:38,372 - YOU MEAN YOU DIDN'T KNOW? TELL HIM, TEDDY. 115 00:05:38,406 --> 00:05:40,441 - I RESUSCITATED IT. 116 00:05:40,474 --> 00:05:43,644 PUT MY MOUTH ON IT AND BLEW. 117 00:05:43,677 --> 00:05:45,979 - SO THAT'S HOW YOU SPENT YOUR DISPOSABLE INCOME? 118 00:05:46,013 --> 00:05:48,582 [scoffs] YOU SHOULD HAVE BOUGHT A HOUSE. 119 00:05:48,616 --> 00:05:51,051 - SOME OF US QUEERS PREFER DANCING AND FUCKING 120 00:05:51,084 --> 00:05:52,853 TO KIDDIES AND PICKET FENCES. 121 00:05:52,886 --> 00:05:55,456 - WORD ON THE STREET IS THAT POPPERZ IS THE NEW HOT SPOT. 122 00:05:55,489 --> 00:05:57,391 - FRIDAY NIGHT POPPERZ GOES BACK 123 00:05:57,425 --> 00:05:58,992 TO BEING THE PISS-HOLE IT ALWAYS WAS. 124 00:05:59,026 --> 00:06:01,595 - BABYLON REOPENS FRIDAY NIGHT. CHECK IT OUT. 125 00:06:01,629 --> 00:06:03,464 HERE YOU GO, GUYS, CHECK IT OUT. 126 00:06:03,497 --> 00:06:06,366 BABYLON REOPENS FRIDAY NIGHT. - CHECK IT OUT. 127 00:06:08,502 --> 00:06:09,637 - [playful voice] HI, J.R. 128 00:06:09,670 --> 00:06:12,506 YOUR DADDY LOVES YOU. 129 00:06:12,540 --> 00:06:13,807 - THERE'S THIS NEW PLACE IN THE MALL. 130 00:06:13,841 --> 00:06:15,476 YOU DESIGN THE BEARS YOURSELF 131 00:06:15,509 --> 00:06:17,778 AND PICK OUT THEIR OUTFITS, RECORD THEIR VOICES. 132 00:06:17,811 --> 00:06:19,146 - IT'S ADORABLE. 133 00:06:19,179 --> 00:06:21,749 - PRECIOUS. 134 00:06:21,782 --> 00:06:23,016 - YOU'LL HAVE TO FORGIVE MELANIE. 135 00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:24,618 SHE'S BEEN UP ALL NIGHT WITH J.R. 136 00:06:24,652 --> 00:06:26,019 - UH, SHE HAS COLIC. 137 00:06:26,053 --> 00:06:29,490 CRIED FOR FOUR HOURS STRAIGHT. 138 00:06:29,523 --> 00:06:30,558 - [clears throat] 139 00:06:30,591 --> 00:06:32,159 LOOK, I WANTED TO APOLOGIZE 140 00:06:32,192 --> 00:06:34,962 FOR GETTING SO HEATED THE OTHER NIGHT. 141 00:06:34,995 --> 00:06:36,564 IT WAS A SHOCK, THAT'S ALL. 142 00:06:36,597 --> 00:06:37,965 I WASN'T EXPECTING-- - WE KNOW. 143 00:06:37,998 --> 00:06:39,700 NO ONE WAS. 144 00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:42,503 - ALTHOUGH NOW THAT I REMEMBER, 145 00:06:42,536 --> 00:06:44,438 EVERY TIME I WOULD STOP BY, 146 00:06:44,472 --> 00:06:47,675 ONE OF YOU WAS ALWAYS OUT OR AT WORK OR TAKING A NAP. 147 00:06:49,577 --> 00:06:50,711 ANYWAY, I'M SORRY. 148 00:06:50,744 --> 00:06:52,045 - YOU SAID THAT. 149 00:06:52,079 --> 00:06:53,647 - I MEAN, THAT AFTER ALL THIS TIME, 150 00:06:53,681 --> 00:06:55,115 YOU TWO COULDN'T WORK THINGS OUT, 151 00:06:55,148 --> 00:06:56,784 THAT IT HAD TO COME TO THIS. - THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 152 00:06:56,817 --> 00:06:58,452 WE'RE SORRY TOO. NOW, IF YOU DON'T MIND, 153 00:06:58,486 --> 00:07:00,521 COULD WE NOT DISCUSS OUR MARITAL PROBLEMS? 154 00:07:00,554 --> 00:07:02,055 - THE IMPORTANT THING IS, 155 00:07:02,089 --> 00:07:05,192 WE NEED TO DECIDE HOW WE'RE GOING TO TAKE CARE OF OUR CHILD. 156 00:07:05,225 --> 00:07:07,595 - OUR CHILD? 157 00:07:07,628 --> 00:07:09,963 - HOW MUCH TIME SHE'LL SPEND WITH YOU AND WITH LINZ 158 00:07:09,997 --> 00:07:11,131 AND BEN AND ME. 159 00:07:11,164 --> 00:07:13,801 WE'RE BUYING A NEW HOUSE. 160 00:07:13,834 --> 00:07:15,836 - I'LL TELL YOU HOW MUCH TIME SHE'S GOING TO SPEND WITH YOU-- 161 00:07:15,869 --> 00:07:17,471 NONE! [baby cries] 162 00:07:17,505 --> 00:07:18,972 - MELANIE, PLEASE, WOULD YOU LOWER YOUR VOICE? 163 00:07:19,006 --> 00:07:21,008 I'M SURE WE CAN HANDLE THIS WITHOUT SCREAMING. 164 00:07:21,041 --> 00:07:22,810 - WHO'S SCREAMING? I'M MAKING A POINT. 165 00:07:22,843 --> 00:07:25,145 - TELL THAT TO HER. 166 00:07:25,178 --> 00:07:27,080 - WE HAD AN AGREEMENT-- 167 00:07:27,114 --> 00:07:28,949 THAT I'D BE A PART OF OUR DAUGHTER'S LIFE. 168 00:07:28,982 --> 00:07:30,684 - YEAH, WHICH AT NO TIME INCLUDED PHYSICAL CUSTODY. 169 00:07:30,718 --> 00:07:32,119 THAT WAS NEVER DISCUSSED. 170 00:07:32,152 --> 00:07:33,954 - BECAUSE WHEN WE MADE IT, YOU TWO WERE TOGETHER-- 171 00:07:33,987 --> 00:07:36,223 A COUPLE, A FAMILY. 172 00:07:36,256 --> 00:07:38,025 NOW ALL THAT'S CHANGED. NOW YOU'RE NOT. 173 00:07:38,058 --> 00:07:40,093 - WHY? I'M STILL HER MOTHER. - SO AM I. 174 00:07:40,127 --> 00:07:41,829 - AND I'M HER FATHER. 175 00:07:41,862 --> 00:07:43,030 - NO ONE'S DENYING THAT. - SHE IS. 176 00:07:43,063 --> 00:07:44,598 SHE'S SAYING I HAVE NO RIGHTS. 177 00:07:44,632 --> 00:07:46,567 - NO, I'M SAYING YOU MAY BE HER FATHER, 178 00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:48,168 HER BIOLOGICAL FATHER, 179 00:07:48,201 --> 00:07:49,837 BUT LINDSAY AND I ARE STILL HER PARENTS. 180 00:07:49,870 --> 00:07:52,873 THAT HASN'T CHANGED. 181 00:07:56,610 --> 00:08:00,814 NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, MY DAUGHTER NEEDS TO BE FED. 182 00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:07,655 - ALL RIGHT, UPON ARRIVAL, THE GUESTS WILL BE OFFERED A GLASS 183 00:08:07,688 --> 00:08:10,524 OF CHATEAUNEUF-DU-PAPE, 1991. - MAKE THAT 1990. 184 00:08:10,558 --> 00:08:12,259 - UH, 1990, 185 00:08:12,292 --> 00:08:13,994 WHILE A STRING QUARTET 186 00:08:14,027 --> 00:08:15,996 PLAYS A MEDLEY OF YOUR FAVORITE ELTON JOHN SONGS. 187 00:08:16,029 --> 00:08:18,666 - I'VE DECIDED TO GO WITH EINE KLEINE NACHTMUSIK. 188 00:08:18,699 --> 00:08:21,268 - AH, WELL, SCRATCH ROCKET MAN. 189 00:08:21,301 --> 00:08:24,037 NOW, UH, WHEN THE WEDDING MARCH BEGINS-- 190 00:08:24,071 --> 00:08:26,306 WE ARE KEEPING THE WEDDING MARCH? 191 00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:27,741 OH, OF COURSE, UH... 192 00:08:27,775 --> 00:08:29,877 YOU'LL ENTER FROM, UH, OVER THERE. 193 00:08:29,910 --> 00:08:31,745 UM... - WHY NOT OVER HERE? 194 00:08:31,779 --> 00:08:34,882 - YOU'LL ENTER FROM OVER HERE HOLDING A SPRAY OF LILIES. 195 00:08:34,915 --> 00:08:36,917 - I'M THINKING NOW OF WHITE ROSES AND BABY'S BREATH. 196 00:08:36,950 --> 00:08:38,919 - BABY'S BREATH. OKAY. 197 00:08:38,952 --> 00:08:41,154 UH, YOU'LL THEN PROCEED TO THE BOWER. 198 00:08:41,188 --> 00:08:44,057 UM, AT WHICH POINT-- - WHAT IF IT RAINS? 199 00:08:44,091 --> 00:08:46,560 - I ALREADY ASKED JOHNNY-- NO RAIN. 200 00:08:46,594 --> 00:08:48,662 - YOUR WEATHERMAN COULDN'T PREDICT A HURRICANE 201 00:08:48,696 --> 00:08:51,765 IF IT WAS BLOWING DOWN MARKET STREET. 202 00:08:51,799 --> 00:08:53,300 - I'VE GOT TO GET BACK TO THE STATION. 203 00:08:53,333 --> 00:08:54,902 I GOT A REMOTE COMING IN FROM IRAQ. 204 00:08:54,935 --> 00:08:57,337 - IRAQ? 205 00:08:57,370 --> 00:09:00,874 SCREW IRAQ! WE'RE HAVING A WEDDING! 206 00:09:00,908 --> 00:09:03,076 - NOW, NOW, UH, DON'T YOU WORRY. 207 00:09:03,110 --> 00:09:05,045 I AM GOING TO HAVE A LITTLE TALK WITH GOD. 208 00:09:05,078 --> 00:09:06,814 AND THERE IS NO WAY HE'S GOING TO LET ANYTHING 209 00:09:06,847 --> 00:09:08,982 RAIN ON YOUR PARADE. 210 00:09:09,016 --> 00:09:11,919 - [chuckles, gasps] THE LADIES' ROOM-- 211 00:09:11,952 --> 00:09:14,788 WE HAVEN'T DECIDED THE COLOR OF THE TOILET TISSUE. 212 00:09:14,822 --> 00:09:17,057 LAVENDER. UM, NO. MINT. 213 00:09:17,090 --> 00:09:18,926 UH, NO. UH, BUTTERCUP. 214 00:09:18,959 --> 00:09:23,063 - I WISH YOU COULD SEE LILA UNDER LESS STRESSFUL CONDITIONS. 215 00:09:23,096 --> 00:09:26,366 SHE'D STILL DRIVE YOU NUTS, BUT I LOVE HER. 216 00:09:26,399 --> 00:09:29,102 - WELL, OF COURSE YOU DO. THAT'S WHAT THIS IS ALL ABOUT. 217 00:09:29,136 --> 00:09:31,071 - YOU KNOW, I GOT TO HAND IT TO YOU. 218 00:09:31,104 --> 00:09:33,874 I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU DO IT. - WELL... 219 00:09:33,907 --> 00:09:36,209 ONE OF THE REASONS WE QUEER GUYS ARE AROUND-- 220 00:09:36,243 --> 00:09:38,812 HELP YOU POOR STRAIGHT PEOPLE STRAIGHTEN UP. 221 00:09:38,846 --> 00:09:41,682 [chuckles] 222 00:09:41,715 --> 00:09:44,084 - JOSEPH, MAKE SURE YOU PACK MY SWIMSUITS AND T-SHIRTS, HUH? 223 00:09:44,117 --> 00:09:46,687 IT'S SUMMER IN AUSTRALIA. - YES, SIR. 224 00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:49,990 - ANYWAY, THEY FIRED HIM, THREE DAYS INTO PRODUCTION. 225 00:09:50,023 --> 00:09:51,725 FIRST-TIME DIRECTOR, HUGE PRODUCTION-- 226 00:09:51,759 --> 00:09:53,226 HE COULDN'T HANDLE IT. 227 00:09:53,260 --> 00:09:55,395 ALSO, I HEAR HE AND ORLANDO BLOOM DID NOT GET ALONG. 228 00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:56,897 OH, BLAIR? - YES, BRETT. 229 00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:58,298 - I WANT THAT TRAINER 230 00:09:58,331 --> 00:10:00,033 AT MY HOTEL EVERY MORNING AT 5:00 A.M., HUH? 231 00:10:00,067 --> 00:10:01,702 - THEY'RE STILL NEGOTIATING THAT. 232 00:10:01,735 --> 00:10:03,737 - WELL, CALL THE PRODUCER AND FUCKING DEMAND IT! 233 00:10:03,771 --> 00:10:05,873 - YOU GOT IT, BRETT. - HOW LONG WILL YOU BE GONE? 234 00:10:05,906 --> 00:10:08,275 - WELL, IT'S A SIX-MONTH SHOOT, PROVIDED I CAN DO POST HERE. 235 00:10:08,308 --> 00:10:09,743 YOU KNOW, WE'RE STILL NEGOTIATING. 236 00:10:09,777 --> 00:10:12,245 WHERE THE HELL IS MY AMBIEN? AH. 237 00:10:12,279 --> 00:10:14,281 ON AN 18-HOUR FLIGHT, IT'S THE ONLY WAY TO FLY. 238 00:10:14,314 --> 00:10:16,116 - I'M SURE. 239 00:10:16,149 --> 00:10:18,118 - LISTEN, I DON'T MEAN TO THROW YOU OUT OR ANYTHING, 240 00:10:18,151 --> 00:10:19,319 BUT I JUST FIGURED WHILE I WAS GONE, 241 00:10:19,352 --> 00:10:21,054 IT WOULD BE A GOOD TIME 242 00:10:21,088 --> 00:10:22,756 TO DO SOME WORK ON THE HOUSE, YOU KNOW, REDECORATE. 243 00:10:22,790 --> 00:10:25,158 BUT PLEASE FEEL FREE TO STAY FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS 244 00:10:25,192 --> 00:10:27,895 UNTIL YOU LINE UP SOMETHING ELSE. 245 00:10:27,928 --> 00:10:30,130 - THANKS. 246 00:10:30,163 --> 00:10:31,732 - EVEN THOUGH I'M ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD, 247 00:10:31,765 --> 00:10:33,734 I HAVEN'T LOST MY PASSION FOR RAGE. 248 00:10:33,767 --> 00:10:36,336 MY DEVELOPMENT PEOPLE ARE GOING TO SHOP IT AROUND. 249 00:10:36,369 --> 00:10:38,271 THE GAY CRUSADER IS TOO POWERFUL 250 00:10:38,305 --> 00:10:40,307 TO BE DEFEATED BY SOME ASSHOLE 251 00:10:40,340 --> 00:10:42,142 WHO CAN'T SEE BEYOND THE BOX OFFICE. 252 00:10:42,175 --> 00:10:44,678 RIGHT? - MM-HMM. 253 00:10:47,915 --> 00:10:49,883 - BLAIR. - YES, BRETT. 254 00:10:49,917 --> 00:10:52,686 - I'M NOT HAPPY WITH THE TIME WE'VE ARRANGED FOR THE CAR... 255 00:10:52,720 --> 00:10:54,788 - I CAN'T BELIEVE THE WAY SHE TALKED TO ME. 256 00:10:54,822 --> 00:10:57,057 - YOU'RE THE FATHER. - BUT I'M NOT THE PARENT-- 257 00:10:57,090 --> 00:10:58,926 AT LEAST NOT AS FAR AS MELANIE'S CONCERNED. 258 00:10:58,959 --> 00:11:00,327 - OH, THAT'S BULLSHIT. 259 00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:02,062 YOU'RE EVERY BIT AS MUCH A PARENT AS SHE IS. 260 00:11:02,095 --> 00:11:03,430 - YOU SHOULD HAVE HEARD HER, 261 00:11:03,463 --> 00:11:05,165 SCREAMING SO LOUD, SHE WOKE UP THE BABY. 262 00:11:05,198 --> 00:11:08,902 - [chuckles] - WITH ALL THEIR CARRYING ON... 263 00:11:08,936 --> 00:11:10,203 I KNOW WE CAN PROVIDE 264 00:11:10,237 --> 00:11:12,773 A MORE STABLE HOME LIFE FOR J.R. THAN THEY CAN. 265 00:11:12,806 --> 00:11:14,374 - YEAH, I'M SURE YOU'RE RIGHT. 266 00:11:14,407 --> 00:11:16,910 BUT THE ONE THING WE MUSTN'T DO IS OVERREACT. 267 00:11:16,944 --> 00:11:19,046 WE'VE GOT TO STAY CALM AND RATIONAL. 268 00:11:19,079 --> 00:11:22,215 - EVERYBODY KEEPS TELLING ME THAT! 269 00:11:24,818 --> 00:11:26,186 ALL RIGHT, I'LL BE CALM... 270 00:11:26,219 --> 00:11:29,389 AND RATIONAL, BUT... 271 00:11:29,422 --> 00:11:31,925 THERE'S NO WAY I'M GIVING UP MY KID. 272 00:11:31,959 --> 00:11:34,327 [tape rips loudly] 273 00:11:34,361 --> 00:11:36,930 - FINISH UP WITH THOSE LIGHTS. WE'RE ABOUT TO OPEN THE DOORS. 274 00:11:36,964 --> 00:11:38,799 COULD YOU MOVE THOSE CARTONS BEHIND THE BAR? 275 00:11:38,832 --> 00:11:40,868 - YES, SIR. - AND DON'T CALL ME "SIR." 276 00:11:40,901 --> 00:11:45,105 - OKAY, THAT LOOKS GOOD. - BREAK A LEG, BABY! 277 00:11:45,138 --> 00:11:46,874 JUST HOPEFULLY, NOT WHILE WE'RE SHAKING OUR BOOTIES. 278 00:11:46,907 --> 00:11:48,809 - EM, I DIDN'T THINK I'D SEE YOU HERE. 279 00:11:48,842 --> 00:11:50,510 I THOUGHT YOU'D BE TOO BUSY WITH THE WEDDING PLANS. 280 00:11:50,543 --> 00:11:53,413 - OH, I'M NEVER TOO BUSY TO SIT RINGSIDE ON OPENING NIGHT. 281 00:11:53,446 --> 00:11:56,149 - READY IN TWO MINUTES. - OKAY. 282 00:11:56,183 --> 00:11:58,418 - AND, UM, WHO HAVE WE HERE? - OH, UH... 283 00:11:58,451 --> 00:12:00,788 THIS IS ALONZO. THIS IS EMMETT. 284 00:12:00,821 --> 00:12:02,255 - I'M ALREADY PICTURING A MOONLIT BEACH 285 00:12:02,289 --> 00:12:04,157 CARESSED BY A CARIBBEAN BREEZE, 286 00:12:04,191 --> 00:12:06,960 WHILE THE PALMS SWAY GENTLY TO A LATIN GUITAR. 287 00:12:06,994 --> 00:12:10,297 - WE DIDN'T HAVE TOO MANY PALM TREES IN TRENTON. 288 00:12:10,330 --> 00:12:12,132 - ALONZO'S THE NEW CLUB MANAGER. 289 00:12:12,165 --> 00:12:16,837 - AND MAY I SAY, A VAST IMPROVEMENT OVER THE FORMER ONE. 290 00:12:16,870 --> 00:12:18,872 - I HAVEN'T HAD THIS MUCH FUN WITH A TOY 291 00:12:18,906 --> 00:12:21,008 SINCE MY ERECTOR SET. 292 00:12:21,041 --> 00:12:22,976 - MY PARENTS COULDN'T AFFORD AN ERECTOR SET, 293 00:12:23,010 --> 00:12:24,511 SO I JUST HAD TO PLAY WITH THE ONE GOD GAVE ME. 294 00:12:24,544 --> 00:12:26,046 [both chuckle] 295 00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:29,516 - OKAY, BOYS, TAKE YOUR PLACES! 296 00:12:29,549 --> 00:12:32,119 LET'S BRING THE LIGHTS DOWN 297 00:12:32,152 --> 00:12:35,055 AND THE STROBES UP. 298 00:12:35,088 --> 00:12:36,857 - AND WE'RE BACK IN BUSINESS. 299 00:12:36,890 --> 00:12:39,292 - NOT QUITE. 300 00:12:39,326 --> 00:12:40,861 [electronic music plays loudly] 301 00:12:40,894 --> 00:12:42,329 IT AIN'T BABYLON WITHOUT THAT... 302 00:12:42,362 --> 00:12:44,131 - THUMPA-THUMPA! 303 00:12:44,164 --> 00:12:47,134 - OKAY, BOYS AND BOYS, WHAT TIME IS IT? 304 00:12:47,167 --> 00:12:51,138 all: IT'S SHOWTIME! 305 00:12:51,171 --> 00:12:59,212 * 306 00:13:12,059 --> 00:13:15,128 [indistinct chatter] 307 00:13:28,375 --> 00:13:32,245 - WHAT THE FUCK? 308 00:13:32,279 --> 00:13:35,849 - DON'T WORRY. IT'S STILL--IT'S EARLY. 309 00:13:43,256 --> 00:13:44,858 - WHERE IS EVERYBODY? 310 00:13:44,892 --> 00:13:46,994 - IT'S SHORTS-AND-SHOTS NIGHT AT POPPERZ. 311 00:13:47,027 --> 00:13:49,529 ALL THE HOT GUYS ARE OVER THERE. 312 00:13:49,562 --> 00:13:51,631 I THINK I'LL GO, UM, CHECK IT OUT. 313 00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:58,105 * 314 00:13:58,138 --> 00:14:01,408 [indistinct chatter, funky music plays] 315 00:14:01,441 --> 00:14:09,382 * 316 00:14:15,455 --> 00:14:17,557 - CON! 317 00:14:17,590 --> 00:14:19,292 - HEY! 318 00:14:19,326 --> 00:14:22,262 - I DIDN'T THINK YOU WERE STILL IN TOWN. 319 00:14:22,295 --> 00:14:25,298 THIS IS JUSTIN. AND SO IS THIS. 320 00:14:25,332 --> 00:14:28,635 - SEEMS THERE'S NO SHORTAGE OF US IN HOLLYWOOD. 321 00:14:28,668 --> 00:14:31,404 - WOULD YOU GET ME ANOTHER KETEL ONE? 322 00:14:35,008 --> 00:14:37,911 - HE'S CUTE. - IF YOU LIKE THE TYPE. 323 00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:42,015 REALLY SUCKS ABOUT RAGE, DOESN'T IT? 324 00:14:42,049 --> 00:14:43,984 - YEAH. IT REALLY SUCKS. 325 00:14:44,017 --> 00:14:45,986 - I SWEAR, THERE'S NOT AN OUNCE OF ARTISTIC INTEGRITY 326 00:14:46,019 --> 00:14:47,420 IN THIS FUCKING TOWN. 327 00:14:47,454 --> 00:14:50,523 - WHY DON'T YOU GO BACK TO NEW YORK--DO THEATER? 328 00:14:50,557 --> 00:14:52,993 - I WOULD IN A HEARTBEAT IF I DIDN'T HAVE A THREE-PICTURE DEAL 329 00:14:53,026 --> 00:14:55,295 WITH BRUCKHEIMER. 330 00:14:55,328 --> 00:14:57,197 SO WHERE'S OUR GENIUS DIRECTOR? 331 00:14:57,230 --> 00:15:00,200 - HE LEFT YESTERDAY FOR AUSTRALIA. 332 00:15:00,233 --> 00:15:02,569 - I HEARD HE'S TAKING OVER THAT REMAKE OF MOTHRA. 333 00:15:02,602 --> 00:15:05,172 WELL, IT ISN'T A BRETT KELLER FILM UNLESS SOMETHING FLIES. 334 00:15:05,205 --> 00:15:08,008 - HE STILL PLANS ON DOING RAGE, THOUGH. 335 00:15:08,041 --> 00:15:10,043 HIS PEOPLE ARE OUT SHOPPING IT TO OTHER STUDIOS 336 00:15:10,077 --> 00:15:12,012 NOW THAT IT'S IN TURNABOUT. 337 00:15:12,045 --> 00:15:15,015 - [chuckles] THAT'S "TURNAROUND." 338 00:15:15,048 --> 00:15:17,717 - RIGHT. HE SWORE HE'S GOING TO GET IT MADE. 339 00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:19,319 - WELL, THAT'S OUR BRETTSKI-- 340 00:15:19,352 --> 00:15:21,488 FIGHTING THE EVIL EMPIRE SINGLE-HANDED. 341 00:15:21,521 --> 00:15:23,690 BUT IN THIS BUSINESS, 342 00:15:23,723 --> 00:15:26,359 THE ONLY THING THAT RISES FROM THE DEAD IS DRACULA. 343 00:15:26,393 --> 00:15:30,097 AND THEN ONLY IF BRAD PITT IS PLAYING HIM. 344 00:15:30,130 --> 00:15:33,166 WHEN SOMETHING'S OVER, IT'S OVER. 345 00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:41,141 * 346 00:15:58,425 --> 00:16:00,627 - YOU LOOK LIKE YOU GAVE AN ORGY AND NOBODY CAME. 347 00:16:00,660 --> 00:16:04,097 - I LOVE HOW YOU CAN TAKE A STALE CLICHE AND MAKE IT FRESH. 348 00:16:06,133 --> 00:16:08,735 COULD YOU DO THE SAME FOR THIS MUFFIN? 349 00:16:08,768 --> 00:16:11,004 - WHAT THE FUCK'S WITH YOU? 350 00:16:11,038 --> 00:16:12,739 - GUESS HOW MANY HOMOS SHOWED UP LAST NIGHT 351 00:16:12,772 --> 00:16:15,608 FOR THE REOPENING OF BABYLON? 352 00:16:15,642 --> 00:16:18,145 - IS THIS ONE OF THOSE LIGHTBULB JOKES? 353 00:16:18,178 --> 00:16:19,479 - 12. 354 00:16:19,512 --> 00:16:22,549 COUNT THEM. 12. 355 00:16:22,582 --> 00:16:26,153 8 FUCKING GRAND DOWN THE CRAPPER. 356 00:16:26,186 --> 00:16:27,620 IF I DON'T DO SOMETHING QUICK, 357 00:16:27,654 --> 00:16:29,756 IT'S GOING TO BE ANOTHER 8 FUCKING GRAND TONIGHT 358 00:16:29,789 --> 00:16:32,559 AND TOMORROW NIGHT AND THE NEXT NIGHT. 359 00:16:32,592 --> 00:16:34,794 - SOUNDS LIKE ONE HELL OF AN EXPENSIVE BLOW JOB. 360 00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:37,764 - YOU KNOW, I WOULDN'T HAVE MINDED EVEN THAT, 361 00:16:37,797 --> 00:16:39,699 BUT NOT ONE OF THEM WAS EVEN REMOTELY FUCKABLE. 362 00:16:39,732 --> 00:16:42,135 WELL, I DON'T GET IT. WHERE DID THEY ALL GO? 363 00:16:42,169 --> 00:16:43,670 - THE MUSIC WAS FUCKING AWESOME! 364 00:16:43,703 --> 00:16:45,372 - AND ONLY A BUCK A SHOOTER. 365 00:16:45,405 --> 00:16:48,241 - WHERE YOU BOYS BEEN ALL NIGHT? - POPPERZ. 366 00:16:48,275 --> 00:16:51,578 - POPPERZ? THAT DUMP'S OLDER THAN I AM. 367 00:16:51,611 --> 00:16:53,113 - ONLY THING THAT IS. 368 00:16:53,146 --> 00:16:54,514 [all laughing] 369 00:16:54,547 --> 00:16:57,417 - SO THERE YOU HAVE IT. 370 00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:02,422 - YOU OF ALL PEOPLE SHOULD KNOW... 371 00:17:02,455 --> 00:17:05,558 THERE'S NO ONE MORE FICKLE THAN A FAG. 372 00:17:08,461 --> 00:17:09,562 [door closes] - OH, HEY. 373 00:17:09,596 --> 00:17:12,532 - SORRY I'M LATE. 374 00:17:12,565 --> 00:17:16,336 THE WOMAN IN FRONT OF ME HAD A STACK OF COUPONS. 375 00:17:16,369 --> 00:17:18,305 [child babbles] HEY, SWEETIE. 376 00:17:18,338 --> 00:17:19,439 - HI, MOMMY. 377 00:17:19,472 --> 00:17:24,211 - DID YOU HAVE FUN WITH MAMA? 378 00:17:24,244 --> 00:17:25,412 HERE'S THE MAIL. 379 00:17:25,445 --> 00:17:26,813 - THANKS. 380 00:17:26,846 --> 00:17:30,150 - OKAY, BIG BOY, GATHER UP YOUR TOYS. 381 00:17:30,183 --> 00:17:32,452 IT'S TIME TO GO. 382 00:17:32,485 --> 00:17:35,822 - MOM, I DON'T WANT TO GO. 383 00:17:35,855 --> 00:17:38,191 - ARE WE GOING TO GO THROUGH THIS EVERY TIME? 384 00:17:38,225 --> 00:17:40,293 - HMM. 385 00:17:40,327 --> 00:17:42,295 - OH, IT'S OKAY, SWEETIE. 386 00:17:42,329 --> 00:17:45,732 I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW WHEN MOMMY GOES TO WORK, OKAY? 387 00:17:45,765 --> 00:17:48,568 - HOW'S J.R.? - UP ALL NIGHT, SCREAMING. 388 00:17:48,601 --> 00:17:50,570 - WHY DON'T YOU LET ME TAKE HER? 389 00:17:50,603 --> 00:17:52,439 - YOU CAN'T BE UP ALL NIGHT AND LOOK AFTER GUS 390 00:17:52,472 --> 00:17:54,374 AND WORK ALL DAY. - BUT YOU'RE EXHAUSTED. 391 00:17:54,407 --> 00:17:56,243 - DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME, OKAY? I CAN HANDLE IT. 392 00:17:56,276 --> 00:17:58,345 - NO ONE SAID YOU COULDN'T. - THEN DON'T START. 393 00:17:58,378 --> 00:18:00,780 - I'M NOT STARTING ANYTHING. 394 00:18:00,813 --> 00:18:02,715 I JUST WISH THERE WAS SOME WAY WE COULD... 395 00:18:02,749 --> 00:18:04,484 - KISS AND MAKE UP? 396 00:18:04,517 --> 00:18:06,119 - GET ALONG. 397 00:18:06,153 --> 00:18:07,387 - OH, SHIT! 398 00:18:07,420 --> 00:18:08,655 - WHAT IS IT? 399 00:18:08,688 --> 00:18:12,192 - THAT LITTLE FUCKER HIRED A LAWYER. 400 00:18:12,225 --> 00:18:13,593 - HER NAME IS BOBBI BENNETT. 401 00:18:13,626 --> 00:18:16,263 - I THOUGHT SHE WAS MARRIED TO HUGH HEFNER. 402 00:18:16,296 --> 00:18:17,530 - THAT'S BARBI BENTON. 403 00:18:17,564 --> 00:18:19,666 THIS IS A TOUGH, GAY LAWYER. 404 00:18:19,699 --> 00:18:22,202 - SHE TOOK THE FIRST GAY ADOPTION CASE IN PENNSYLVANIA 405 00:18:22,235 --> 00:18:23,803 TO THE STATE SUPREME COURT AND WON. 406 00:18:23,836 --> 00:18:26,139 - YEAH. SHE SAID, AS J.R.'S BIOLOGICAL FATHER, 407 00:18:26,173 --> 00:18:27,607 I HAVE RIGHTS, AND I SHOULD FIGHT FOR THEM. 408 00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:29,476 - NO. NO, I DON'T LIKE IT THERE. 409 00:18:29,509 --> 00:18:31,544 - OH. 410 00:18:31,578 --> 00:18:34,247 SO SHE'S AGREED TO TAKE OUR CASE. 411 00:18:34,281 --> 00:18:35,748 - I'M GLAD TO SEE YOU STANDING UP FOR YOURSELF. 412 00:18:35,782 --> 00:18:37,417 I'M JUST SORRY IT HAD TO COME TO THIS. 413 00:18:37,450 --> 00:18:40,787 - WELL, THEY DIDN'T LEAVE ME ANY CHOICE. 414 00:18:40,820 --> 00:18:42,522 - I-IS THIS WHERE YOU WANT IT, DEB? 415 00:18:42,555 --> 00:18:45,425 - WHERE I WANT IT IS IN THE GARBAGE, BUT... 416 00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:47,660 IT'S CARL'S FAVORITE CHAIR, SO... 417 00:18:58,738 --> 00:18:59,806 THERE, THAT'S BETTER, HUH? 418 00:18:59,839 --> 00:19:01,841 - OH, YEAH, MUCH BETTER. 419 00:19:01,874 --> 00:19:04,377 - WELL, I'M NOT GOING TO LET MY DAUGHTER BE RAISED 420 00:19:04,411 --> 00:19:06,179 BY A COUPLE OF SINGLE MOTHERS. 421 00:19:06,213 --> 00:19:09,916 - WHEN THERE'S A LOVING, STABLE HOME WITH TWO FATHERS. 422 00:19:09,949 --> 00:19:13,253 - "SINGLE MOTHERS"? - HMM? 423 00:19:13,286 --> 00:19:16,289 - YOU JUST SAID "SINGLE MOTHERS." 424 00:19:16,323 --> 00:19:18,858 YOU MEAN LIKE ME? - I WASN'T TALKING ABOUT YOU. 425 00:19:18,891 --> 00:19:20,560 I WASN'T EVEN THINKING ABOUT YOU. 426 00:19:20,593 --> 00:19:21,861 - YEAH, SO WHAT ELSE IS NEW? 427 00:19:21,894 --> 00:19:24,531 BUT I WAS A SINGLE MOTHER. AND GUESS WHAT. 428 00:19:24,564 --> 00:19:26,299 EVEN WITHOUT A FATHER, 429 00:19:26,333 --> 00:19:28,268 YOU STILL HAD ENOUGH SENSE TO COME IN OUT OF THE RAIN... 430 00:19:28,301 --> 00:19:29,602 SOMETIMES. 431 00:19:29,636 --> 00:19:31,538 - THAT'S NOT WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT. 432 00:19:31,571 --> 00:19:33,440 FOR CHRIST SAKES, MOM, WILL YOU STOP MISINTERPRETING? 433 00:19:33,473 --> 00:19:35,575 - WHO'S MISINTERPRETING? - DEB, ALL WE'RE SAYING IS ... 434 00:19:35,608 --> 00:19:36,943 - I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SAYING. 435 00:19:36,976 --> 00:19:39,212 I SPEAK THE LANGUAGE-- THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 436 00:19:39,246 --> 00:19:40,813 YOU THINK BECAUSE THERE ARE TWO OF YOU, 437 00:19:40,847 --> 00:19:43,316 THAT YOU'RE BETTER EQUIPPED TO RAISE A KID. 438 00:19:43,350 --> 00:19:47,220 WELL, LET ME TELL YOU TWO EXPERTS SOMETHING. 439 00:19:47,254 --> 00:19:49,622 NOT EVERYONE IS FORTUNATE ENOUGH TO HAVE A PARTNER 440 00:19:49,656 --> 00:19:51,424 AND ENOUGH MONEY TO STAY HOME AND RAISE THEIR KIDS. 441 00:19:51,458 --> 00:19:54,494 SOME OF US HAD TO WORK, NIGHT AND DAY, 442 00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:56,896 SOMETIMES TILL 2:00 IN THE FUCKING MORNING, 443 00:19:56,929 --> 00:20:00,300 SO THAT OUR KIDS COULD HAVE SNEAKERS AND JEANS 444 00:20:00,333 --> 00:20:02,569 AND WALKMANS AND-- AND GO TO THE MOVIES 445 00:20:02,602 --> 00:20:04,471 JUST LIKE ALL THEIR FRIENDS. 446 00:20:04,504 --> 00:20:05,905 AND WHILE WE WERE OUT THERE WORKING, 447 00:20:05,938 --> 00:20:07,874 WE WERE JUST HOPING AND PRAYING TO GOD 448 00:20:07,907 --> 00:20:11,878 THAT THEY DIDN'T GET SICK OR GET IN TROUBLE. 449 00:20:11,911 --> 00:20:14,447 BUT WE HAD NO CHOICE. 450 00:20:14,481 --> 00:20:17,884 WE MADE WHATEVER SACRIFICE WE COULD FOR OUR KIDS' HAPPINESS. 451 00:20:19,786 --> 00:20:24,657 SO YOU TWO THINK YOU CAN DO IT BETTER... 452 00:20:24,691 --> 00:20:26,893 ALL I GOT TO SAY IS... 453 00:20:26,926 --> 00:20:29,228 GOOD FOR YOU. 454 00:20:35,935 --> 00:20:37,470 - I ALMOST DIDN'T RECOGNIZE YOU 455 00:20:37,504 --> 00:20:39,906 SINCE YOU GAINED ALL THAT WEIGHT. 456 00:20:39,939 --> 00:20:41,408 - IT'S NOT THAT MUCH. 457 00:20:41,441 --> 00:20:44,477 - I WISH I COULD GAIN WEIGHT LIKE THAT. 458 00:20:44,511 --> 00:20:47,814 I TRY, AND I TRY, AND I EAT, AND I EAT, 459 00:20:47,847 --> 00:20:50,817 BUT NO MATTER WHAT I DO, I JUST CAN'T KEEP IT ON. 460 00:20:50,850 --> 00:20:51,951 - PITY. 461 00:20:51,984 --> 00:20:54,521 - CHOCOLATE? - I'M ON A DIET. 462 00:20:54,554 --> 00:20:56,623 - OH, AND IT'S ALREADY WORKING. 463 00:20:56,656 --> 00:20:59,058 YOUR HAIR IS GETTING THINNER. 464 00:20:59,091 --> 00:21:00,960 - [scoffs] LOOK, WHATEVER ELSE IS GOING ON, 465 00:21:00,993 --> 00:21:02,562 I'VE ALWAYS HAD A HEALTHY HEAD OF HAIR. 466 00:21:02,595 --> 00:21:05,632 - WELL, I HATE TO CONTRADICT MRS. BROLIN, 467 00:21:05,665 --> 00:21:08,501 BUT THE MIRROR ONLY HAS ONE FACE, 468 00:21:08,535 --> 00:21:11,304 AND YOU'RE LOOKING AT IT. 469 00:21:11,338 --> 00:21:13,306 - SHIT! 470 00:21:13,340 --> 00:21:15,408 I'M GETTING BALD. 471 00:21:15,442 --> 00:21:17,777 W-W-WHAT DO I DO? WHAT--W-WHAT DO I DO? 472 00:21:17,810 --> 00:21:19,846 - CONVERT TO JUDAISM AND WEAR A YARMULKE? 473 00:21:19,879 --> 00:21:23,316 - THERE'S NO USE FIGHTING IT, SWEETHEART. 474 00:21:25,452 --> 00:21:29,389 I'M AFRAID AGE IS THE LAST TRICK ANY OF US PICKS UP. 475 00:21:29,422 --> 00:21:32,392 THE PROBLEM IS, AFTER IT FUCKS US, 476 00:21:32,425 --> 00:21:34,461 IT DOESN'T LEAVE. 477 00:21:34,494 --> 00:21:35,928 SO, IF I WERE YOU, 478 00:21:35,962 --> 00:21:39,732 I'D STOP SINGING THE TITLE SONG FROM "POOR ME" 479 00:21:39,766 --> 00:21:40,733 AND ACCEPT IT. 480 00:21:40,767 --> 00:21:43,002 - THEN WHAT--DIE? 481 00:21:43,035 --> 00:21:45,104 - OR MOVE TO PALM SPRINGS, 482 00:21:45,137 --> 00:21:48,675 POUR YOURSELF A MARTINI AND OGLE THE... 483 00:21:48,708 --> 00:21:51,444 MEXICAN BOYS. 484 00:21:53,613 --> 00:21:57,016 - NOW, WHAT SHALL WE DO WITH THIS? 485 00:21:58,485 --> 00:22:01,888 SAME OLD, SAME OLD? 486 00:22:01,921 --> 00:22:04,891 - OH, IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW MANY OF THESE WEDDINGS I DO, 487 00:22:04,924 --> 00:22:07,427 I ALWAYS GET A LUMP IN MY THROAT AND A TEAR IN MY EYE. 488 00:22:07,460 --> 00:22:08,628 - MAYBE IT'S ALLERGIES. 489 00:22:08,661 --> 00:22:10,363 WHAT IF EVERYBODY STARTS SNEEZING? 490 00:22:10,397 --> 00:22:11,864 YOU SEE? I TOLD YOU-- WE SHOULD HAVE HAD IT INDOORS. 491 00:22:11,898 --> 00:22:14,434 - THE ONLY SNIFFLES TODAY WILL BE SNIFFLES OF JOY 492 00:22:14,467 --> 00:22:15,902 FROM HOW LOVELY THE BRIDE LOOKS. 493 00:22:15,935 --> 00:22:17,470 - I STILL THINK I SHOULD'VE LEFT MY HAIR DOWN. 494 00:22:17,504 --> 00:22:19,372 MY FACE LOOKS TOO ROUND, DOESN'T IT? 495 00:22:19,406 --> 00:22:21,608 - IT'S THE PERFECT FRAME FOR THE PERFECT PICTURE. 496 00:22:21,641 --> 00:22:23,843 - YOU HEAR THAT, HONEY? - IT'S ALL AN ILLUSION. 497 00:22:23,876 --> 00:22:25,712 I'M A MESS. ARE THOSE RAIN CLOUDS? 498 00:22:25,745 --> 00:22:28,014 - I THINK IT'S TIME TO CUE THE WEDDING MARCH. 499 00:22:28,047 --> 00:22:29,882 - THOSE... - YOU NEED TO RELAX. 500 00:22:29,916 --> 00:22:33,453 - [breathing heavily] 501 00:22:33,486 --> 00:22:34,987 OH. 502 00:22:35,021 --> 00:22:36,989 - TO MY BEAUTIFUL BRIDE. 503 00:22:37,023 --> 00:22:40,126 FROM NOW ON, YOU ARE MY MORNING NEWS, MY EVENING NEWS, 504 00:22:40,159 --> 00:22:41,894 AND MY SPECIAL REPORT. 505 00:22:41,928 --> 00:22:44,997 - DON, WHAT A BEAUTIFUL SENTIMENT. 506 00:22:45,031 --> 00:22:46,132 [yelping] 507 00:22:46,165 --> 00:22:48,134 OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! 508 00:22:48,167 --> 00:22:50,770 ALL RIGHT, PLACES, EVERY-- 509 00:22:50,803 --> 00:22:52,605 - I TOLD YOU SOMETHING WOULD GO WRONG, DIDN'T I? 510 00:22:52,639 --> 00:22:54,507 DIDN'T I TELL YOU THERE'D BE A DISASTER? 511 00:22:54,541 --> 00:22:56,008 [Wedding March plays] MY BLOUSE! LOOK AT ME! 512 00:22:56,042 --> 00:22:57,644 HOW CAN I GO OUT THERE? I CAN'T. IT'S RUINED. 513 00:22:57,677 --> 00:22:58,945 EVERYTHING IS RUINED! 514 00:22:58,978 --> 00:23:01,614 [sobbing] - TAKE IT OFF. 515 00:23:01,648 --> 00:23:02,882 - WHAT? - TAKE IT OFF. 516 00:23:02,915 --> 00:23:04,417 TAKE YOUR BLOUSE OFF. BE QUICK ABOUT IT. 517 00:23:04,451 --> 00:23:05,552 COME ON, WE'VE GOT 150 GUESTS WATCHING. 518 00:23:05,585 --> 00:23:06,753 CHOP-CHOP! - OKAY. 519 00:23:06,786 --> 00:23:08,888 [crying] 520 00:23:08,921 --> 00:23:11,157 OH, MY GOD. 521 00:23:11,190 --> 00:23:14,827 - GO, GO, GO, GO. - GOING. 522 00:23:14,861 --> 00:23:18,498 - [sighs] 523 00:23:18,531 --> 00:23:21,634 I NEED A SOUP POT AND TWO BOTTLES OF BURGUNDY, PLEASE. 524 00:23:21,668 --> 00:23:23,069 VITE! VITE! 525 00:23:23,102 --> 00:23:25,638 FAST AS WE CAN, PEOPLE. PLEASE. 526 00:23:25,672 --> 00:23:28,174 - OH, YOU-- YOU WANT A CHICKEN TOO? 527 00:23:28,207 --> 00:23:29,976 IT'S A HELL OF A TIME TO MAKE COQ AU VIN-- 528 00:23:30,009 --> 00:23:33,212 TWO MINUTES BEFORE OUR WEDDING. 529 00:23:33,245 --> 00:23:35,047 - WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING? 530 00:23:35,081 --> 00:23:37,584 - SHH, SHH, SHH. [humming] 531 00:23:37,617 --> 00:23:39,185 - JUST BECAUSE I DIDN'T CARRY HER 532 00:23:39,218 --> 00:23:41,053 DOESN'T MEAN I'M NOT HER MOTHER TOO. 533 00:23:41,087 --> 00:23:43,656 - SEE THE CHOO-CHOO GO AROUND THE TRACK, SONNY BOY? 534 00:23:43,690 --> 00:23:45,191 SEE IT? 535 00:23:45,224 --> 00:23:47,059 SURE IS FUN. 536 00:23:47,093 --> 00:23:50,797 BUT AFTER A WHILE, IT GETS MONOTONOUS AND PREDICTABLE. 537 00:23:50,830 --> 00:23:53,199 AND THAT'S WHEN WE THROW OFF THE SHACKLES OF CONVENTION 538 00:23:53,232 --> 00:23:55,101 AND RELINQUISH CONTROL 539 00:23:55,134 --> 00:23:57,670 AND CAUSE A SENSELESS, 540 00:23:57,704 --> 00:24:00,573 TRAGIC DISASTER! [imitates crash] 541 00:24:00,607 --> 00:24:03,476 OH, MY GOD. DID YOU SEE THAT? 542 00:24:03,510 --> 00:24:05,144 - BRIAN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 543 00:24:05,177 --> 00:24:07,680 - I'M JUST TEACHING MY SON HOW TO HAVE FUN. 544 00:24:07,714 --> 00:24:09,148 - WELL, I WISH YOU'D LISTEN TO WHAT I'M SAYING. 545 00:24:09,181 --> 00:24:11,150 - "JUST BECAUSE I DIDN'T CARRY HER 546 00:24:11,183 --> 00:24:12,752 DOESN'T MEAN I'M NOT HER MOTHER TOO." 547 00:24:12,785 --> 00:24:14,554 - I WAS THERE EVERY STEP OF THE WAY-- 548 00:24:14,587 --> 00:24:18,257 IMPREGNATING HER, COACHING HER, TAKING CARE OF HER. 549 00:24:18,290 --> 00:24:20,092 I EVEN HELPED WITH THE DELIVERY. 550 00:24:20,126 --> 00:24:22,629 - SO WHO SAYS YOU'RE NOT? 551 00:24:22,662 --> 00:24:24,731 - MICHAEL. 552 00:24:24,764 --> 00:24:26,265 HE'S PETITIONING FOR JOINT CUSTODY 553 00:24:26,298 --> 00:24:29,101 AND 50% PHYSICAL CUSTODY. 554 00:24:29,135 --> 00:24:32,004 - WELL, WHO THE HELL DOES HE THINK HE IS--THE FATHER? 555 00:24:32,038 --> 00:24:33,773 - THE AGREEMENT WAS THAT HE WOULD ALWAYS BE A PART 556 00:24:33,806 --> 00:24:36,609 OF THE BABY'S LIFE, BUT MEL AND I WOULD RAISE HER. 557 00:24:36,643 --> 00:24:37,844 - TOGETHER. 558 00:24:37,877 --> 00:24:39,111 - IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE. 559 00:24:39,145 --> 00:24:40,647 WE'RE STILL THE SAME PEOPLE. 560 00:24:40,680 --> 00:24:42,048 WE'RE STILL JENNY REBECCA'S PARENTS. 561 00:24:42,081 --> 00:24:44,984 - WELL, HE SEEMS TO FEEL DIFFERENTLY. 562 00:24:45,017 --> 00:24:47,286 - IF ONLY MELANIE HAD BEEN REASONABLE. 563 00:24:47,319 --> 00:24:48,655 - [scoffs] MELANIE? 564 00:24:48,688 --> 00:24:50,256 OUR LITTLE MELANIE? 565 00:24:50,289 --> 00:24:51,758 REASONABLE? 566 00:24:51,791 --> 00:24:54,060 - INSTEAD OF TRYING TO FORCE HIM OUT. 567 00:24:54,093 --> 00:24:55,728 NOW, IF HE GOES THROUGH WITH THIS, 568 00:24:55,762 --> 00:24:57,797 I'LL BE THE ONE WHO'S FORCED OUT. 569 00:24:57,830 --> 00:24:59,932 THE COURT WILL SAY I'M THE ONE WITH NO LEGAL RIGHTS. 570 00:24:59,966 --> 00:25:02,535 - [clicks tongue] IT LOOKS LIKE YOUR MOMMY 571 00:25:02,569 --> 00:25:04,070 IS IN QUITE A PREDICAMENT. 572 00:25:04,103 --> 00:25:07,640 - YOU'RE GODDAMN RIGHT SHE IS. 573 00:25:09,942 --> 00:25:13,512 I CAN'T BELIEVE WHAT A MESS MY LIFE'S BECOME. 574 00:25:14,981 --> 00:25:17,149 - YOU NEED MONEY? 575 00:25:17,183 --> 00:25:20,286 - WHAT I NEED IS FOR YOU TO TALK TO HIM. 576 00:25:20,319 --> 00:25:22,622 YOU'RE HIS BEST FRIEND. 577 00:25:22,655 --> 00:25:24,824 - HEY, GUS. 578 00:25:24,857 --> 00:25:27,193 IT'S OKAY, SONNY BOY. 579 00:25:27,226 --> 00:25:29,962 WE WILL GET IT BACK ON TRACK. - WHICH ONE? 580 00:25:29,996 --> 00:25:32,064 - WAIT. WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. 581 00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:35,602 OKAY, FLIP THE SWITCH. 582 00:25:36,969 --> 00:25:38,938 - AND THAT SHOULD JUST ABOUT DO IT. 583 00:25:38,971 --> 00:25:40,940 AH, JUST TAKE THAT, PLEASE. THANK YOU, THANK YOU. 584 00:25:40,973 --> 00:25:44,310 OH, OH, RIGHT HERE. PERFECT. 585 00:25:44,343 --> 00:25:48,180 HERE WE GO-- AND ONE AND TWO... 586 00:25:48,214 --> 00:25:50,950 THERE. IT EVEN MATCHES YOUR BOUQUET. 587 00:25:50,983 --> 00:25:53,185 [applause] THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU. 588 00:25:53,219 --> 00:25:54,787 LET'S GO! LET'S GO, LET'S GO! 589 00:25:54,821 --> 00:25:58,057 - YOU'RE A GENIUS! - I AM NOT A GENIUS. 590 00:25:58,090 --> 00:25:59,992 MY AUNT LULAH IS THE GENIUS. 591 00:26:00,026 --> 00:26:02,028 SEE, UM, BACK IN HAZELHURST, WHEN I WAS A BOY, 592 00:26:02,061 --> 00:26:03,963 MY MAMA WORKED AND SCRAPED TO BUY ME A PAIR 593 00:26:03,996 --> 00:26:05,965 OF GOOD WHITE PANTS FOR CHURCH. 594 00:26:05,998 --> 00:26:07,199 WELL, BEFORE WE GOT THERE, 595 00:26:07,233 --> 00:26:08,735 I STOLE SOME BOYSENBERRY COBBLER, 596 00:26:08,768 --> 00:26:11,103 AND, UH, YOU CAN IMAGINE THE REST. 597 00:26:11,137 --> 00:26:13,205 WELL, MAMA WAS JUST ABOUT TO WHUP ME, 598 00:26:13,239 --> 00:26:14,674 BUT AUNT LULAH SAVED THE DAY. 599 00:26:14,707 --> 00:26:16,609 SHE PICKED A MESS OF BOYSENBERRIES, 600 00:26:16,643 --> 00:26:18,277 MADE SOME BOYSENBERRY JUICE, AND THE NEXT SUNDAY 601 00:26:18,310 --> 00:26:20,012 I HAD THE MOST FABULOUS PURPLE PANTS TO WEAR TO CHURCH, 602 00:26:20,046 --> 00:26:21,347 WHICH I, OF COURSE, ACCESSORIZED 603 00:26:21,380 --> 00:26:23,149 WITH A YELLOW SWEATER AND A PINK SCARF. 604 00:26:23,182 --> 00:26:24,684 - THAT'S A HELL OF A STORY. 605 00:26:24,717 --> 00:26:25,952 - IT'S HOW I GOT MY FAIRY WINGS-- 606 00:26:25,985 --> 00:26:27,720 BY LEARNING HOW TO TURN A DISASTER 607 00:26:27,754 --> 00:26:30,690 INTO SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL. 608 00:26:30,723 --> 00:26:32,759 NOW, YOU TWO, WALK DOWN THAT AISLE 609 00:26:32,792 --> 00:26:34,293 AND LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER. 610 00:26:34,326 --> 00:26:35,762 - THANKS. 611 00:26:35,795 --> 00:26:38,765 [Wedding March plays] 612 00:26:38,798 --> 00:26:46,739 * 613 00:26:55,081 --> 00:26:57,984 [upbeat electronic music] 614 00:26:58,017 --> 00:27:05,958 * 615 00:27:11,097 --> 00:27:13,332 - COME ON, HONEY, THERE'S NO BACK ROOM HERE, 616 00:27:13,365 --> 00:27:17,136 SO, UH, GUESS IT'S OFF TO MY PLACE. 617 00:27:17,169 --> 00:27:19,438 - LAST TIME I LOOKED, THERE WAS A BACK ROOM AT BABYLON. 618 00:27:19,471 --> 00:27:21,207 - OH, BRIAN. HEY, HEY. 619 00:27:21,240 --> 00:27:23,309 WE, UH--WE WERE PLANNING TO STOP BY LATER. 620 00:27:23,342 --> 00:27:26,078 - WHY NOT NOW? AVOID THE CROWDS. 621 00:27:28,114 --> 00:27:30,282 - LOOK, IT'S NOT MY FAULT THE HERD'S MOVED ON. 622 00:27:30,316 --> 00:27:33,753 ALL THE HOT GUYS COME HERE NOW... 623 00:27:33,786 --> 00:27:35,822 EXCEPT FOR THAT ONE. 624 00:27:35,855 --> 00:27:37,356 JESUS, LOOK AT HIM. 625 00:27:37,389 --> 00:27:41,861 TIRED OLD QUEEN, DESPERATELY TRYING TO HOLD ON TO-- 626 00:27:50,402 --> 00:27:51,437 TEDDY! 627 00:27:51,470 --> 00:27:59,812 * 628 00:28:10,089 --> 00:28:12,258 - ET TU, THEODORE? 629 00:28:12,291 --> 00:28:14,060 - BRIAN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 630 00:28:14,093 --> 00:28:16,929 - JUST CHECKING OUT THE COMPETITION. 631 00:28:16,963 --> 00:28:18,397 - ME TOO. 632 00:28:18,430 --> 00:28:20,399 - IS THAT WHY YOU'RE IN DISGUISE? 633 00:28:20,432 --> 00:28:22,268 - [chuckles] IT'S... 634 00:28:22,301 --> 00:28:24,270 MY NEW LOOK. 635 00:28:24,303 --> 00:28:25,805 I WAS, UH... 636 00:28:25,838 --> 00:28:27,940 I WAS GOING FOR SOMETHING NEWER, HIPPER. 637 00:28:27,974 --> 00:28:29,508 - I'M TRYING TO BRING THEM BACK TO BABYLON, 638 00:28:29,541 --> 00:28:31,878 NOT SCARE THEM AWAY. 639 00:28:31,911 --> 00:28:34,280 [moans] 640 00:28:34,313 --> 00:28:36,015 - WELL, YOU BETTER DO IT FAST, 641 00:28:36,048 --> 00:28:38,284 OR YOU'RE GOING TO LOSE YOUR PANTS. 642 00:28:38,317 --> 00:28:40,219 - MIGHT AS WELL START NOW. 643 00:28:40,252 --> 00:28:45,124 * 644 00:28:53,866 --> 00:28:57,503 [man moans] 645 00:28:57,536 --> 00:28:59,371 - OH, YEAH. 646 00:28:59,405 --> 00:29:02,274 [moans] OH, YEAH. 647 00:29:05,011 --> 00:29:07,513 OH, YEAH, FUCK ME HARDER. 648 00:29:07,546 --> 00:29:09,515 [moaning] 649 00:29:09,548 --> 00:29:10,917 - YOU LIKE THAT? - OH, YEAH. 650 00:29:10,950 --> 00:29:14,153 POUND MY ASS. OH. 651 00:29:14,186 --> 00:29:15,454 - MAYBE. 652 00:29:25,197 --> 00:29:28,167 [groaning] 653 00:29:35,207 --> 00:29:37,043 HOW WAS YOUR FLIGHT? 654 00:29:39,578 --> 00:29:43,215 [baby crying] - [singing in Hebrew] 655 00:29:43,249 --> 00:29:49,889 * 656 00:29:49,922 --> 00:29:51,223 [baby cries] 657 00:29:51,257 --> 00:29:54,293 OKAY, LET'S TRY THIS AGAIN. 658 00:29:54,326 --> 00:29:57,263 [knock at door] 659 00:30:01,200 --> 00:30:03,302 - CHRIST, WHAT'S GOING ON IN HERE? 660 00:30:03,335 --> 00:30:05,171 I COULD HEAR HER CRYING HALFWAY AROUND THE BLOCK. 661 00:30:05,204 --> 00:30:07,573 - COLIC--SHE'S BEEN UP ALL NIGHT. 662 00:30:07,606 --> 00:30:09,575 - OH, SHE GOT THAT FROM MICHAEL. 663 00:30:09,608 --> 00:30:11,043 I ALWAYS KNEW HE'D TURN OUT GAY. 664 00:30:11,077 --> 00:30:12,511 HE WAS A SCREAMER FROM THE DAY HE ARRIVED. 665 00:30:12,544 --> 00:30:14,881 COME HERE, HONEYBUN. 666 00:30:16,648 --> 00:30:19,118 "HONEYBUN" IS WHAT I USED TO CALL MICHAEL. 667 00:30:19,151 --> 00:30:20,920 SHH, SHH. 668 00:30:20,953 --> 00:30:23,455 - LOOK, YOU REALLY SHOULDN'T BE HERE, 669 00:30:23,489 --> 00:30:27,093 CONSIDERING HE PLANS TO SUE ME FOR CUSTODY. 670 00:30:27,126 --> 00:30:29,929 - YOU STILL HAVEN'T LEARNED, HAVE YOU? 671 00:30:29,962 --> 00:30:33,399 WE HAVE A CHILD HERE WITH A PROBLEM. 672 00:30:33,432 --> 00:30:36,202 YOU GOT A HOT-WATER BOTTLE? 673 00:30:36,235 --> 00:30:38,204 - IN THE KITCHEN, I THINK. 674 00:30:38,237 --> 00:30:41,607 - FILL IT... 675 00:30:41,640 --> 00:30:43,275 WITH WARM WATER. 676 00:30:43,309 --> 00:30:44,643 [baby crying] 677 00:30:44,676 --> 00:30:46,412 GRANDMA'S GOING TO MAKE IT ALL RIGHT. 678 00:30:46,445 --> 00:30:48,881 YES, SHE IS. 679 00:30:48,915 --> 00:30:51,150 GRANDMA'S GOING TO MAKE IT ALL RIGHT. 680 00:30:51,183 --> 00:30:54,286 YES, I KNOW IT HURTS. I KNOW IT HURTS. 681 00:30:54,320 --> 00:30:56,422 HERE'S MOMMY. 682 00:30:56,455 --> 00:30:59,358 THANKS. 683 00:30:59,391 --> 00:31:01,227 [baby wailing] 684 00:31:01,260 --> 00:31:05,064 SHH, SHH, SHH. 685 00:31:07,299 --> 00:31:08,968 - DEBBIE... 686 00:31:09,001 --> 00:31:10,903 I KNOW YOU WANT TO SEE YOUR GRANDDAUGHTER, 687 00:31:10,937 --> 00:31:12,905 AND I APPRECIATE YOUR HELP, BUT... 688 00:31:12,939 --> 00:31:14,373 - BUT WHAT? 689 00:31:14,406 --> 00:31:16,408 - UNTIL THIS THING'S SETTLED... 690 00:31:16,442 --> 00:31:19,245 - AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED, IT ALREADY IS. 691 00:31:19,278 --> 00:31:20,679 THE THREE OF YOU CARRYING ON, 692 00:31:20,712 --> 00:31:22,514 EACH OF YOU WANTING A PIECE OF THIS POOR CHILD, 693 00:31:22,548 --> 00:31:24,984 IT'S SHAMEFUL. 694 00:31:25,017 --> 00:31:29,288 IT'S WORSE THAN THAT KING, YOU KNOW THE ONE--SOLOMON. 695 00:31:29,321 --> 00:31:31,657 YES. 696 00:31:31,690 --> 00:31:34,660 BUT THE BOTTOM LINE... 697 00:31:34,693 --> 00:31:39,131 I SAY A BABY BELONGS WITH ITS MOTHER. 698 00:31:39,165 --> 00:31:41,600 - YOU DO? 699 00:31:41,633 --> 00:31:44,403 - MAYBE IT'S 'CAUSE I'M A MOTHER... 700 00:31:44,436 --> 00:31:46,472 A SINGLE MOTHER. 701 00:31:46,505 --> 00:31:48,307 AND ANYONE WHO ISN'T OR NEVER HAS BEEN 702 00:31:48,340 --> 00:31:51,177 HASN'T A FUCKING CLUE HOW TOUGH THAT IS, 703 00:31:51,210 --> 00:31:53,612 AND THAT INCLUDES MY SON. 704 00:31:56,715 --> 00:32:00,086 SO, WHATEVER I CAN DO TO HELP, I'M HERE. 705 00:32:00,119 --> 00:32:03,055 - THANK YOU FOR BEING ON MY SIDE. 706 00:32:03,089 --> 00:32:06,292 - NOW HEAR THIS. 707 00:32:06,325 --> 00:32:10,062 THE ONLY ONE WHOSE SIDE I'M ON IS MY GRANDDAUGHTER'S. 708 00:32:10,096 --> 00:32:12,664 ISN'T THAT RIGHT, HONEYBUN? 709 00:32:17,136 --> 00:32:19,571 [sighs] SO TIRED. 710 00:32:19,605 --> 00:32:21,507 - I HATED IT OUT THERE. 711 00:32:21,540 --> 00:32:23,109 THE WEATHER NEVER CHANGES. 712 00:32:23,142 --> 00:32:25,511 ALL ANYBODY TALKS ABOUT IS THE BUSINESS, 713 00:32:25,544 --> 00:32:27,479 IF YOU DON'T HAVE A GO PROJECT, YOU'RE INVISIBLE. 714 00:32:27,513 --> 00:32:29,315 - YEAH, YEAH. AS THEY SAY IN THE MOVIES, CUT TO THE CHASE. 715 00:32:29,348 --> 00:32:31,083 THE GUYS ARE HOT! 716 00:32:31,117 --> 00:32:33,719 - EXCEPT AFTER A WHILE, THEY ALL START TO LOOK THE SAME-- 717 00:32:33,752 --> 00:32:36,188 PERFECT HAIR, PERFECT TEETH, PERFECT BODIES. 718 00:32:36,222 --> 00:32:37,623 - SOUNDS PERFECTLY AWFUL. 719 00:32:37,656 --> 00:32:39,458 - AND YOU CANNOT TRUST ANYONE 720 00:32:39,491 --> 00:32:41,527 OR BELIEVE ANYTHING THAT ANYBODY EVER SAYS. 721 00:32:41,560 --> 00:32:44,496 EVERYBODY'S JUST LOOKING OUT FOR THEMSELVES AND THEIR CAREERS. 722 00:32:44,530 --> 00:32:46,765 - YEAH, SOUNDS EXACTLY LIKE WHAT YOU ALWAYS HEAR ABOUT L.A.-- 723 00:32:46,798 --> 00:32:49,068 A LOT OF SHALLOW, SUPERFICIAL ASSHOLES 724 00:32:49,101 --> 00:32:50,736 DESPERATELY TRYING TO BE WHAT THEY'RE NOT. 725 00:32:50,769 --> 00:32:53,139 [scoffs] 726 00:32:53,172 --> 00:32:55,207 - HEY, DEB. 727 00:32:55,241 --> 00:32:57,343 CAN I GET A SOUP SPOON? - YOU SURE CAN, HONEY. 728 00:32:57,376 --> 00:32:59,145 THEY'RE OVER BY THE COUNTER. HELP YOURSELF. 729 00:32:59,178 --> 00:33:01,647 YOU'RE LUCKY YOU GOT OUT OF THERE IN ONE PIECE, BABY. 730 00:33:01,680 --> 00:33:03,515 - SO MUCH FOR RAGE: THE MOVIE. 731 00:33:03,549 --> 00:33:05,351 - SO MUCH FOR "RAGE: THE MONEY." 732 00:33:05,384 --> 00:33:07,286 - UH, IT'S OKAY. WE'LL BE FINE. 733 00:33:07,319 --> 00:33:09,555 - YOU KNOW, IT'S JUST AS WELL THAT THEY DIDN'T MAKE IT. 734 00:33:09,588 --> 00:33:11,690 BEN, YOU WERE RIGHT--BY THE TIME THEY'D HAVE FINISHED IT, 735 00:33:11,723 --> 00:33:14,693 RAGE WOULD'VE WOUND UP STRAIGHT. 736 00:33:14,726 --> 00:33:16,762 - AT LEAST WE STILL HAVE THE COMIC... 737 00:33:16,795 --> 00:33:18,764 OUR COMIC. - AND MOST IMPORTANT-- 738 00:33:18,797 --> 00:33:20,532 YOU'RE BACK HERE WITH US WHERE YOU BELONG. 739 00:33:20,566 --> 00:33:22,401 - YEAH, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO NOW, BABY? 740 00:33:22,434 --> 00:33:24,770 - I HAVEN'T HAD MUCH CHANCE TO THINK ABOUT IT. 741 00:33:24,803 --> 00:33:26,372 - DON'T YOU WORRY, BABY. 742 00:33:26,405 --> 00:33:28,240 YOUR OLD JOB IS STILL HERE WAITING FOR YOU. 743 00:33:28,274 --> 00:33:31,777 YOU CAN START BUSSING TABLES ANYTIME YOU WANT. 744 00:33:31,810 --> 00:33:33,179 [smooches] 745 00:33:36,148 --> 00:33:38,650 - SO WOULD YOU LIKE TO SLIT YOUR THROAT NOW 746 00:33:38,684 --> 00:33:41,187 OR AFTER WE HAVE COFFEE? 747 00:33:47,359 --> 00:33:49,795 - EMMETT, WELCOME TO CHANNEL 5 NEWS. 748 00:33:49,828 --> 00:33:52,131 EVERYONE IS STILL RAVING ABOUT THE WEDDING. 749 00:33:52,164 --> 00:33:53,832 LILA'S FRIENDS WANT TO KNOW WHERE SHE GOT THAT BLOUSE. 750 00:33:53,865 --> 00:33:55,667 SAID THEY NEVER SAW SUCH A BEAUTIFUL COLOR. 751 00:33:55,701 --> 00:33:57,803 - WELL, I'M JUST RELIEVED EVERYTHING WORKED OUT ALL RIGHT. 752 00:33:57,836 --> 00:33:59,338 IF THERE'S ANYTHING ELSE I CAN DO FOR YOU, 753 00:33:59,371 --> 00:34:00,672 YOU KNOW, YOUR NEXT WEDDING. 754 00:34:00,706 --> 00:34:03,442 [chuckles] - ACTUALLY, THERE IS. 755 00:34:03,475 --> 00:34:06,445 I WATCHED YOU, DAY AFTER DAY, THROUGH THIS ENTIRE EVENT. 756 00:34:06,478 --> 00:34:08,280 - YOU DID? 757 00:34:08,314 --> 00:34:11,617 - AND I HAVE A LITTLE PROPOSITION TO MAKE. 758 00:34:11,650 --> 00:34:13,419 - YOU DO? 759 00:34:13,452 --> 00:34:16,755 - I WANT YOU, EMMETT. 760 00:34:16,788 --> 00:34:19,458 - LORD, WHAT IS IT WITH ME AND STRAIGHT MEN? 761 00:34:19,491 --> 00:34:22,828 UM, MR. MAGRUDER, I'M VERY FLATTERED, 762 00:34:22,861 --> 00:34:25,231 BUT YOU'RE A MARRIED MAN NOW, SO... 763 00:34:25,264 --> 00:34:27,299 - WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU...? YOU DON'T THINK I...? 764 00:34:27,333 --> 00:34:29,168 [laughing] 765 00:34:29,201 --> 00:34:33,305 PLEASE. NO. 766 00:34:33,339 --> 00:34:34,873 - WELL, YOU DID SAY YOU WANTED ME. 767 00:34:34,906 --> 00:34:36,508 - FOR THE NEWS TEAM. 768 00:34:36,542 --> 00:34:40,179 - AS WHAT--SPORTS COMMENTATOR, WEATHER GIRL? 769 00:34:40,212 --> 00:34:42,781 EITHER WAY, I-I THINK YOU'D BE TERRIBLY DISAPPOINTED. 770 00:34:42,814 --> 00:34:44,250 - LISTEN, I DON'T HAVE TO TELL YOU, 771 00:34:44,283 --> 00:34:45,484 QUEER IS VERY HOT RIGHT NOW. 772 00:34:45,517 --> 00:34:47,319 EVERYBODY WANTS THE GAY PERSPECTIVE, 773 00:34:47,353 --> 00:34:49,855 WHAT DO THE GAYS THINK ABOUT FASHION, COOKING, DECORATING? 774 00:34:49,888 --> 00:34:51,857 LIKE YOU SAID, THAT LITTLE FAIRY MAGIC 775 00:34:51,890 --> 00:34:53,659 THAT GIVES US STRAIGHTS A LITTLE TWIST. 776 00:34:53,692 --> 00:34:55,727 AND YOU WANT ME TO...? 777 00:34:55,761 --> 00:34:57,196 - TO DO A NEW SEGMENT. 778 00:34:57,229 --> 00:34:59,131 OFFER US THE, UH, GAY POINT OF VIEW. 779 00:34:59,165 --> 00:35:00,799 GIVE US SOME TIPS. 780 00:35:00,832 --> 00:35:02,868 DO SOME MAKEOVERS. - BUT I-I'VE NEVER ... 781 00:35:02,901 --> 00:35:04,803 - AFTER THAT MAGIC ACT YOU PERFORMED AT OUR WEDDING, 782 00:35:04,836 --> 00:35:06,872 YOU CAN DO ANYTHING. 783 00:35:06,905 --> 00:35:10,376 THAT INCLUDES BEING CHANNEL 5'S QUEER GUY. 784 00:35:15,781 --> 00:35:17,216 [door closes] 785 00:35:17,249 --> 00:35:18,817 - WITHOUT THE LIGHTS AND THE MUSIC 786 00:35:18,850 --> 00:35:21,553 AND THE HOT GUYS, THIS IS JUST A ROOM, ISN'T IT? 787 00:35:21,587 --> 00:35:24,156 - IT'S ALL AN ILLUSION. 788 00:35:24,190 --> 00:35:27,359 NOTHING BUT CHEAP THEATRICS. 789 00:35:27,393 --> 00:35:28,627 SORRY ABOUT YOUR BABY. 790 00:35:28,660 --> 00:35:30,762 - JENNY? - RAGE. 791 00:35:30,796 --> 00:35:32,764 OH, THAT. WELL... 792 00:35:32,798 --> 00:35:36,768 RIGHT NOW I GOT MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO THINK ABOUT. 793 00:35:36,802 --> 00:35:40,906 SO WHY THE URGENT MESSAGE ON MY CELL? 794 00:35:40,939 --> 00:35:45,244 - I WANT YOU TO LEAVE MELANIE AND LINDSAY ALONE. 795 00:35:45,277 --> 00:35:46,512 THEY HAVE ENOUGH SHIT TO WORK OUT RIGHT NOW, 796 00:35:46,545 --> 00:35:47,813 WITHOUT YOU SICCING YOUR BULLDOG, 797 00:35:47,846 --> 00:35:50,916 OR SHOULD I SAY BULL-DYKE, LAWYER ON THEM. 798 00:35:50,949 --> 00:35:52,684 - WELL, WHAT THE FUCK BUSINESS IS IT OF YOURS 799 00:35:52,718 --> 00:35:55,321 IF I WANT TO HIRE A LAWYER? WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TO...? 800 00:35:55,354 --> 00:35:57,723 - I'M GUS' FATHER. THAT'S WHO THE FUCK I AM. 801 00:35:57,756 --> 00:36:00,326 - YOU HAD TO LOSE A BALL BEFORE YOU EVEN KNEW HE WAS ALIVE. 802 00:36:06,632 --> 00:36:08,800 I'M SORRY. THAT WAS A... 803 00:36:08,834 --> 00:36:11,403 UNCALLED-FOR REMARK. IT'S JUST THAT... 804 00:36:11,437 --> 00:36:13,539 BECAUSE THEY'RE YOUR SON'S PARENTS TOO, 805 00:36:13,572 --> 00:36:15,307 I THOUGHT YOU'D UNDERSTAND. 806 00:36:15,341 --> 00:36:17,943 - WHAT I UNDERSTAND IS THAT IF YOU GO THROUGH WITH THIS, 807 00:36:17,976 --> 00:36:19,811 LINDSAY'S GOING TO BE THE ONE THAT GETS LEFT OUT. 808 00:36:19,845 --> 00:36:21,613 SHE'S GOING TO BE THE ONE THAT GETS FUCKED OVER. 809 00:36:21,647 --> 00:36:23,282 - WELL, SHE SHOULD'VE THOUGHT OF THAT 810 00:36:23,315 --> 00:36:25,317 BEFORE SHE CHEATED ON MEL AND THEN LIED TO ME. 811 00:36:25,351 --> 00:36:27,553 - CHRIST. WOULD YOU GIVE IT A REST ALREADY? 812 00:36:27,586 --> 00:36:29,555 WE ALL KNOW THE STORY. 813 00:36:29,588 --> 00:36:31,423 - WHY DON'T YOU STOP DEFENDING HER FOR A CHANGE 814 00:36:31,457 --> 00:36:35,694 AND TRY DEFENDING ME, YOUR BEST FRIEND? 815 00:36:35,727 --> 00:36:37,563 RIGHT NOW THE BEST THING FOR JENNY REBECCA 816 00:36:37,596 --> 00:36:39,431 IS TO BE WITH BEN AND ME, IN A STABLE HOME, 817 00:36:39,465 --> 00:36:43,969 NOT BEING PASSED BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN TWO BATTLING LESBIANS. 818 00:36:44,002 --> 00:36:47,439 - WHEN DID YOU CHANGE? 819 00:36:47,473 --> 00:36:48,840 - WHAT? 820 00:36:48,874 --> 00:36:50,342 - WHEN DID YOU BECOME THIS PIOUS, 821 00:36:50,376 --> 00:36:55,314 SANCTIMONIOUS, JUDGMENTAL TWIT? 822 00:36:55,347 --> 00:36:57,983 - THE POINT IS NOT WHEN DID I CHANGE. 823 00:36:58,016 --> 00:37:01,353 THE POINT IS, WHY HAVEN'T YOU? 824 00:37:01,387 --> 00:37:02,988 WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO STOP BEING SOME... 825 00:37:03,021 --> 00:37:05,324 OVER-THE-HILL CLUB BOY AND GROW UP. 826 00:37:05,357 --> 00:37:08,360 - OH, SO NOW I'M THE OBJECT OF YOUR DISAPPROVAL TOO. 827 00:37:10,562 --> 00:37:12,664 YOU AND THE NUTTY PROFESSOR GET MARRIED, 828 00:37:12,698 --> 00:37:15,467 IN FUCKING CANADA! 829 00:37:15,501 --> 00:37:16,802 YOU MOVE TO STEPFORD AVENUE 830 00:37:16,835 --> 00:37:19,471 WITH ALL THE OTHER ERSATZ HETEROSEXUALS, 831 00:37:19,505 --> 00:37:21,373 AND SUDDENLY THAT GIVES YOU THE RIGHT 832 00:37:21,407 --> 00:37:25,744 TO MAKE PRONOUNCEMENTS ON EVERYBODY ELSE'S LIFE? 833 00:37:25,777 --> 00:37:29,014 WELL, WELCOME TO THE OTHER SIDE OF YOUR PERFECT MARRIAGE, MIKEY. 834 00:37:29,047 --> 00:37:32,484 IT'S CALLED GAY DIVORCE. 835 00:37:32,518 --> 00:37:34,486 FAGS AND DYKES CAN FUCK UP THEIR LIVES 836 00:37:34,520 --> 00:37:37,889 JUST LIKE THE REST OF THE WORLD. 837 00:37:37,923 --> 00:37:40,626 - I'M JUST TRYING TO DO WHAT'S BEST FOR MY DAUGHTER 838 00:37:40,659 --> 00:37:42,394 AND PROTECT MY RIGHTS. 839 00:37:45,664 --> 00:37:47,966 I'M SORRY YOU CAN'T SEE THAT. 840 00:37:50,536 --> 00:37:53,505 [electronic music] 841 00:37:53,539 --> 00:38:01,480 * 842 00:38:16,695 --> 00:38:19,531 [doorbell rings] 843 00:38:19,565 --> 00:38:23,469 - JUST CALL ME "THE QUEER GUY." 844 00:38:23,502 --> 00:38:27,072 - WOULDN'T THAT BE LIKE CALLING THE POPE "THE CATHOLIC GUY"? 845 00:38:27,105 --> 00:38:29,074 - DON MAGRUDER, THE PRODUCER OF THE CHANNEL 5 NEWS-- 846 00:38:29,107 --> 00:38:32,077 I JUST DID HIS WEDDING-- WANTS ME TO JOIN THE NEWS TEAM. 847 00:38:32,110 --> 00:38:34,546 I AM RETURNING TO THE CAMERAS. 848 00:38:34,580 --> 00:38:36,682 THIS TIME WITH MY CLOTHES ON. 849 00:38:36,715 --> 00:38:39,117 I'M GOING TO BE CHANNEL 5'S "QUEER GUY," 850 00:38:39,150 --> 00:38:40,886 SHARING TIPS, MAKING QUIPS 851 00:38:40,919 --> 00:38:43,422 AND GENERALLY SHOWING PITTSBURGH HOW TO BE FABULOUS. 852 00:38:43,455 --> 00:38:46,492 - YOU CAN START BY SHOWING ME. 853 00:38:46,525 --> 00:38:48,427 LOOK AT MY HAIR, MY... 854 00:38:48,460 --> 00:38:50,429 GUT, MY FACE. 855 00:38:50,462 --> 00:38:51,830 GOD, I LOOK LIKE A SHAR-PEI. 856 00:38:51,863 --> 00:38:54,833 - THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THE WAY YOU LOOK. 857 00:38:54,866 --> 00:38:56,602 - WOULD YOU STOP BEING A FRIEND AND BE HONEST. 858 00:38:56,635 --> 00:38:58,970 - I AM BEING HONEST. COME HERE. 859 00:38:59,004 --> 00:39:01,907 COME HERE. 860 00:39:01,940 --> 00:39:03,975 LOOK AT YOURSELF. - [sighs] 861 00:39:04,009 --> 00:39:06,111 - YOUR TRUE SELF... 862 00:39:06,144 --> 00:39:09,748 THE SELF THAT KICKED CRYSTAL, THAT COMPLETED THE LIBERTY RIDE, 863 00:39:09,781 --> 00:39:10,916 THAT GOT A GREAT JOB. 864 00:39:10,949 --> 00:39:12,918 YOU TURNED YOUR LIFE AROUND, TEDDY. 865 00:39:12,951 --> 00:39:15,587 AND THAT IS SOMETHING TO BE VERY, VERY PROUD OF. 866 00:39:15,621 --> 00:39:17,589 YOU'RE PRACTICALLY A HERO, OKAY? 867 00:39:17,623 --> 00:39:19,591 SO WHO CARES IF YOU PUT ON A FEW POUNDS, 868 00:39:19,625 --> 00:39:22,461 OR HAVE A FEW CHARACTER LINES? 869 00:39:22,494 --> 00:39:25,897 STOP LOOKING AT THE SHELL AND SEE THE PEARL. 870 00:39:28,900 --> 00:39:31,603 - YOU'RE RIGHT, EM. 871 00:39:31,637 --> 00:39:35,674 YOU'RE SO RIGHT. 872 00:39:35,707 --> 00:39:37,743 IT DID SOUND GOOD, DIDN'T IT? 873 00:39:37,776 --> 00:39:40,612 MAYBE I CAN USE THAT IN A SEGMENT. 874 00:39:40,646 --> 00:39:43,682 WELL, THIS QUEER GUY'S GOT TO GET TO THE GYM 875 00:39:43,715 --> 00:39:46,017 AND THEN, UH, GET SOME BEAUTY REST. 876 00:39:46,051 --> 00:39:47,919 THE CAMERA'S MERCILESS, YOU KNOW. 877 00:39:47,953 --> 00:39:50,756 SHOWS EVERY LINE AND IMMEDIATELY ADDS 10 POUNDS. 878 00:39:50,789 --> 00:39:52,758 I'LL SEE YA, BABY! 879 00:39:52,791 --> 00:39:54,426 - THANKS, EM. 880 00:39:54,460 --> 00:39:56,628 HEY, YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE A GREAT QUEER GUY. 881 00:39:56,662 --> 00:39:59,598 YOU ALREADY ARE. - CAN'T HELP IT. 882 00:40:06,838 --> 00:40:14,813 * 883 00:40:20,151 --> 00:40:23,789 - HI. UH, YES, UH, MY NAME IS TED SCHMIDT, 884 00:40:23,822 --> 00:40:27,058 AND I'D LIKE TO MAKE AN APPOINTMENT TO SEE THE DOCTOR. 885 00:40:27,092 --> 00:40:29,194 [door bells jingle] 886 00:40:29,227 --> 00:40:31,830 - BE RIGHT WITH YOU. 887 00:40:36,868 --> 00:40:39,605 MY ATTORNEY ADVISED ME NOT TO TALK TO YOU. 888 00:40:39,638 --> 00:40:41,607 - WELL, I'M AN ATTORNEY TOO, 889 00:40:41,640 --> 00:40:44,943 AND I'D SAY SHE'S BEING OVERLY CAUTIOUS. 890 00:40:44,976 --> 00:40:47,679 AFTER ALL, WE'RE FRIENDS... 891 00:40:47,713 --> 00:40:49,815 FAMILY. 892 00:40:49,848 --> 00:40:51,717 - ARE WE? 893 00:40:51,750 --> 00:40:54,820 I'M SURE WE CAN WORK THIS OUT, 894 00:40:54,853 --> 00:40:56,888 SAVE OURSELVES A LOT OF GRIEF AND LEGAL EXPENSES, 895 00:40:56,922 --> 00:40:58,690 WHICH, IF I KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT LAWYERS, 896 00:40:58,724 --> 00:41:02,694 IS WHY SHE DOESN'T WANT US COMMUNICATING. 897 00:41:02,728 --> 00:41:06,632 LOOK, I ADMIT I OVERREACTED. 898 00:41:06,665 --> 00:41:09,501 I WAS JUST BEING PROTECTIVE, THE WAY ANY MOTHER WOULD. 899 00:41:09,535 --> 00:41:11,703 YOU CAN UNDERSTAND THAT. 900 00:41:11,737 --> 00:41:13,639 - I SUPPOSE. 901 00:41:15,807 --> 00:41:19,578 - THERE'S NO QUESTION YOU'RE PART OF JENNY REBECCA'S LIFE. 902 00:41:19,611 --> 00:41:21,913 IT'S JUST THAT SHE'S STILL YOUNG. 903 00:41:21,947 --> 00:41:24,149 SHE'S STILL BREAST-FEEDING. 904 00:41:24,182 --> 00:41:26,985 SO I WAS THINKING THAT MAYBE LATER ON DOWN THE ROAD, 905 00:41:27,018 --> 00:41:28,854 SAY WHEN SHE'S FOUR OR FIVE, 906 00:41:28,887 --> 00:41:30,856 SHE COULD SPEND SOME TIME WITH YOU AND BEN. 907 00:41:30,889 --> 00:41:33,592 I THINK THAT'S PERFECTLY REASONABLE. 908 00:41:33,625 --> 00:41:35,894 DON'T YOU? 909 00:41:38,163 --> 00:41:41,132 - HOW DUMB DO YOU THINK I AM? 910 00:41:41,166 --> 00:41:45,604 NO, DON'T ANSWER THAT. I CAN IMAGINE. 911 00:41:45,637 --> 00:41:47,806 FIRST, YOU TELL ME I HAVE NO RIGHTS, WHICH ISN'T TRUE. 912 00:41:47,839 --> 00:41:49,174 I HAVE AS MUCH RIGHTS AS YOU. 913 00:41:49,207 --> 00:41:51,643 NOW YOU TRY TO GET ME TO AGREE NOT TO TAKE HER 914 00:41:51,677 --> 00:41:54,112 UNTIL SHE'S FOUR OR FIVE? 915 00:41:56,915 --> 00:41:58,884 I'M SORRY, MEL. I'M NOT BACKING OFF. 916 00:41:58,917 --> 00:42:00,952 - I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE DOING THIS, 917 00:42:00,986 --> 00:42:02,854 AFTER WE STOOD RIGHT HERE IN YOUR STORE 918 00:42:02,888 --> 00:42:04,623 AND AGREED THAT YOU COULD BE THE FATHER 919 00:42:04,656 --> 00:42:05,924 INSTEAD OF JUST A SPERM DONOR. 920 00:42:05,957 --> 00:42:07,759 - THEN WHY WON'T YOU LET ME HAVE HER? 921 00:42:07,793 --> 00:42:09,227 - BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW SHIT ABOUT RAISING A BABY. 922 00:42:09,260 --> 00:42:11,329 EVEN YOUR OWN MOTHER AGREES. - MY MOTHER? 923 00:42:11,362 --> 00:42:13,164 - YEAH, SHE THINKS YOU'RE BEHAVING LIKE AN ASSHOLE. 924 00:42:13,198 --> 00:42:16,167 - OH, REALLY? YOU KNOW WHAT? 925 00:42:16,201 --> 00:42:19,070 I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK WHAT MY MOTHER THINKS. 926 00:42:19,104 --> 00:42:20,906 JENNY REBECCA IS MY DAUGHTER TOO, 927 00:42:20,939 --> 00:42:24,042 AND I'M GOING TO HAVE JOINT CUSTODY. 928 00:42:24,075 --> 00:42:27,979 - THEN YOU GO AHEAD AND TRY, BUT LET ME TELL YOU-- 929 00:42:28,013 --> 00:42:31,182 YOU'RE NOT ONLY UP AGAINST ONE ANGRY MOTHER AND LESBIAN, 930 00:42:31,216 --> 00:42:34,485 YOU'RE UP AGAINST ONE PISSED-OFF LAWYER. 931 00:42:38,356 --> 00:42:41,326 [rock music] 932 00:42:41,359 --> 00:42:49,735 * 933 00:42:49,768 --> 00:42:52,137 - [moaning] 934 00:43:05,851 --> 00:43:13,759 * 935 00:43:25,771 --> 00:43:28,239 SO... 936 00:43:28,273 --> 00:43:30,876 WAS IT ALL YOU REMEMBERED? 937 00:43:30,909 --> 00:43:33,879 - AND MORE. - HMM. 938 00:43:33,912 --> 00:43:37,382 - WHAT ABOUT YOU? - MMM. 939 00:43:37,415 --> 00:43:39,384 IT WAS OKAY. 940 00:43:39,417 --> 00:43:41,386 [both chuckle] 941 00:43:41,419 --> 00:43:43,254 - JUST OKAY? 942 00:43:43,288 --> 00:43:44,990 IT WAS GREAT. 943 00:43:45,023 --> 00:43:46,992 SAY IT WAS GREAT! - [chuckles] 944 00:43:47,025 --> 00:43:49,394 - SAY IT WAS GREAT. SAY IT. 945 00:43:49,427 --> 00:43:51,262 - [laughing] 946 00:43:51,296 --> 00:43:55,734 IT WAS GREAT. IT WAS GREAT. IT WAS GREAT. IT WAS GREAT. 947 00:43:55,767 --> 00:43:57,268 - MM. - IT WAS. 948 00:43:57,302 --> 00:44:00,038 IT WAS GREAT. 949 00:44:03,709 --> 00:44:06,745 I THOUGHT YOU WERE NEVER COMING BACK. 950 00:44:06,778 --> 00:44:10,281 - I FIGURED. 951 00:44:10,315 --> 00:44:12,984 - WELL, WHY WOULD YOU? 952 00:44:15,453 --> 00:44:17,388 CAN'T IMAGINE. 953 00:44:48,486 --> 00:44:50,688 - WHAT'S THIS? 954 00:44:54,092 --> 00:44:56,461 - [sighs] 955 00:44:56,494 --> 00:45:00,198 IT'S ONE OF MY STORYBOARDS FROM THE MOVIE. 956 00:45:00,231 --> 00:45:02,133 - IT'S GOOD. 957 00:45:02,167 --> 00:45:04,102 - THANKS. 958 00:45:10,008 --> 00:45:12,277 - WHAT? - NOTHING. 959 00:45:18,116 --> 00:45:21,152 I TOLD EVERYONE HOW SHITTY IT WAS OUT THERE... 960 00:45:21,186 --> 00:45:24,489 HOW STUPID EVERYONE WAS. 961 00:45:24,522 --> 00:45:26,257 THE TRUTH IS I LOVED IT. 962 00:45:29,127 --> 00:45:32,163 - I KNOW. [chuckles] 963 00:45:32,197 --> 00:45:35,867 IT WAS HOT. IT WAS FUN. IT WAS EXCITING. 964 00:45:37,903 --> 00:45:39,404 WE WERE GOING TO CHANGE THE WORLD-- 965 00:45:39,437 --> 00:45:42,007 THE FIRST GAY SUPERHERO. 966 00:45:42,040 --> 00:45:45,243 [chuckles] 967 00:45:45,276 --> 00:45:47,913 NOW IT'S OVER. 968 00:45:55,887 --> 00:45:58,756 - AND NOW YOU'RE BACK. 969 00:46:04,229 --> 00:46:07,498 IT MUST BE QUITE A LETDOWN AFTER ALL THAT. 970 00:46:11,436 --> 00:46:13,204 - THERE'S STILL ONE THING PITTSBURGH HAS 971 00:46:13,238 --> 00:46:15,173 THAT HOLLYWOOD DOESN'T. 972 00:46:23,448 --> 00:46:26,517 THAT IS, IF THE OFFER STILL STANDS. 973 00:46:52,110 --> 00:46:55,080 [rock music] 974 00:46:55,113 --> 00:47:03,121 * 975 00:47:07,125 --> 00:47:11,096 - * IF I WROTE A BOOK ABOUT YOU * 976 00:47:11,129 --> 00:47:15,100 * A THOUSAND PAGES WOULD NOT BE ENOUGH * 977 00:47:15,133 --> 00:47:19,104 * NO, NO AMOUNT OF WORDS COULD OUTDO * 978 00:47:19,137 --> 00:47:22,974 * OR DESCRIBE OUR KIND OF LOVE * 979 00:47:23,008 --> 00:47:26,111 * I'M SPEECHLESS 980 00:47:26,144 --> 00:47:27,612 * WHEN I SEE YOU 981 00:47:27,645 --> 00:47:30,982 * I FEEL MY KNEES GET WEAK 982 00:47:31,016 --> 00:47:33,618 * I'M SPEECHLESS 983 00:47:33,651 --> 00:47:35,620 * YET MY LIPS CAN DO 984 00:47:35,653 --> 00:47:39,124 * EVERYTHING BUT SPEAK 985 00:47:39,157 --> 00:47:43,128 * NO, THE CAT'S NOT GOT MY TONGUE * 986 00:47:43,161 --> 00:47:46,497 * AND EVERYTHING ELSE IS OKAY 987 00:47:46,531 --> 00:47:51,002 * IF A PICTURE'S WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS * 988 00:47:51,036 --> 00:47:54,139 * I WANT TO TELL YOU SOMETHING I CAN'T SAY * 989 00:47:54,172 --> 00:47:57,308 * I'M SPEECHLESS 990 00:47:57,342 --> 00:47:59,144 * WHEN I SEE YOU 991 00:47:59,177 --> 00:48:02,313 * I FEEL MY KNEES GET WEAK 992 00:48:02,347 --> 00:48:05,316 * I'M SPEECHLESS 993 00:48:05,350 --> 00:48:07,152 * YET MY LIPS CAN DO 994 00:48:07,185 --> 00:48:11,322 * EVERYTHING BUT SPEAK 995 00:48:11,356 --> 00:48:14,325 * CONVERSATIONS ALL AROUND 996 00:48:14,359 --> 00:48:18,163 * YOU CAN HEAR 'EM 'CAUSE IT'S WHAT WE DO * 997 00:48:18,196 --> 00:48:22,167 * BUT WHEN I TRY TO COMMUNICATE * 998 00:48:22,200 --> 00:48:26,037 * WORDS FAIL WHEN IT COMES TO YOU * 999 00:48:26,071 --> 00:48:28,673 * I'M SPEECHLESS 1000 00:48:28,706 --> 00:48:34,579 * 1001 00:48:34,612 --> 00:48:37,182 * I'M SPEECHLESS 1002 00:48:37,215 --> 00:48:38,349 * WHEN I SEE YOU 1003 00:48:38,383 --> 00:48:42,020 * I FEEL MY KNEES GET WEAK 1004 00:48:42,053 --> 00:48:44,689 * I'M SPEECHLESS 1005 00:48:44,722 --> 00:48:46,557 * YET MY LIPS CAN DO 1006 00:48:46,591 --> 00:48:49,360 * EVERYTHING BUT SPEAK 1007 00:48:49,394 --> 00:48:53,064 * 73423

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