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As the
global pandemic rages on,
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00:00:51,251 --> 00:00:55,155
deaths in the United States
have reached an all time high,
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00:00:55,188 --> 00:00:56,658
crossing the 2 million mark.
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00:00:56,691 --> 00:00:59,127
Tensions are high
in Washington today
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00:00:59,159 --> 00:01:00,560
as lawmakers attempt
to tighten up
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00:01:00,594 --> 00:01:03,230
a more coordinated
national response.
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00:01:03,263 --> 00:01:05,833
As the
Southern California Vincent Fire
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00:01:05,867 --> 00:01:08,301
overtakes Malibu
and the West Hills,
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00:01:08,335 --> 00:01:10,537
residents fear
the upcoming aggressive
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00:01:10,570 --> 00:01:14,042
and historically unpredictable
Santa Ana Winds
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00:01:14,075 --> 00:01:16,878
will blow sparks, igniting
other parts of Los Angeles.
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00:01:16,911 --> 00:01:18,880
The White House doctors today
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00:01:18,913 --> 00:01:20,848
said that
immunocompromised people,
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00:01:20,882 --> 00:01:23,216
those with cancer,
autoimmune disorders,
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00:01:23,250 --> 00:01:25,419
and the elderly,
must be extra careful
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00:01:25,452 --> 00:01:27,989
as we enter
the second wave.
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00:04:07,782 --> 00:04:09,917
Hi.
Hi.
18
00:04:09,951 --> 00:04:11,853
Hi.
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00:04:11,886 --> 00:04:14,421
Hi, it's good to see you.
20
00:04:14,454 --> 00:04:16,123
Oh, it's great
to see you Beth.
21
00:04:16,157 --> 00:04:19,327
So, how was your weekend?
What did you guys do?
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00:04:19,359 --> 00:04:21,762
Oh, you know, we had
a quiet weekend here,
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00:04:21,796 --> 00:04:23,430
just a couple of movies.
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00:04:23,463 --> 00:04:26,300
I expect just, you know, the
same thing as everyone else,
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00:04:26,334 --> 00:04:29,337
but we tried to layer in
some, like, active time too,
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00:04:29,369 --> 00:04:31,038
- and went on a couple of walks.
- Yeah.
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00:04:31,072 --> 00:04:33,373
No, like the garden,
the garden that you guys,
28
00:04:33,406 --> 00:04:36,143
you guys planted a garden,
you... your, um...
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00:04:36,177 --> 00:04:37,812
your husband,
I saw on Facebook.
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00:04:37,845 --> 00:04:39,213
He was, like, posting,
like, when you
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00:04:39,247 --> 00:04:40,781
and your daughter
like digging up,
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00:04:40,815 --> 00:04:42,283
like, you know, soil
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00:04:42,316 --> 00:04:43,885
and like planting tomatoes,
like, oh, my God.
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00:04:43,918 --> 00:04:47,321
What a great guy he must be.
Like, he is so handsome.
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00:04:47,355 --> 00:04:49,624
Oh, you are...
Well, you're both lucky.
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00:04:49,657 --> 00:04:51,325
You're both very
attractive people.
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00:04:51,359 --> 00:04:53,361
You're lucky to have each other.
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00:04:53,393 --> 00:04:55,630
I'm alone.
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00:04:55,663 --> 00:04:57,198
Thank you.
Thanks Beth.
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00:04:57,231 --> 00:04:58,465
What about the walks?
41
00:04:58,498 --> 00:05:00,134
Have you been taking
any walks Beth?
42
00:05:02,402 --> 00:05:05,006
No, if I got coughed on,
like, I would die,
43
00:05:05,039 --> 00:05:06,641
so I don't...
44
00:05:06,674 --> 00:05:08,910
I don't want to go outside.
45
00:05:08,943 --> 00:05:10,978
I... I can't see straight
sometimes.
46
00:05:11,012 --> 00:05:13,347
And, like, I don't, um...
47
00:05:13,381 --> 00:05:14,882
It feels like
someone's shaking me
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00:05:14,916 --> 00:05:17,450
and then it's like,
everything kind of goes blurry.
49
00:05:17,484 --> 00:05:19,020
But, I mean, it doesn't
last very long,
50
00:05:19,053 --> 00:05:20,388
but I just, like,
51
00:05:20,420 --> 00:05:22,757
I just don't feel very stable.
52
00:05:22,790 --> 00:05:24,358
I feel like I'm not
doing anything else,
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00:05:24,392 --> 00:05:27,328
but trying to get better
and I'm not getting better.
54
00:05:27,361 --> 00:05:29,496
It is traumatic,
in some ways,
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00:05:29,529 --> 00:05:31,399
in order to change
the system around,
56
00:05:31,431 --> 00:05:32,934
and it's changed
the way it's functioning,
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00:05:32,967 --> 00:05:34,268
but it is necessary
to do this
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00:05:34,302 --> 00:05:37,071
for a more prolonged
lasting wellness.
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00:05:37,104 --> 00:05:40,174
My brain and my body
are not...
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00:05:40,207 --> 00:05:41,574
connected.
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00:05:41,609 --> 00:05:43,711
The things we do experience,
and the...
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00:05:43,744 --> 00:05:46,080
the trauma that...
that affects us,
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00:05:46,113 --> 00:05:47,348
that it does affect,
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00:05:47,381 --> 00:05:50,017
and it does translate
into the body.
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00:05:50,051 --> 00:05:53,520
You were bitten by a tick
at the age of ten.
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00:05:54,088 --> 00:05:56,523
You want your life back.
You want your life back.
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00:05:56,556 --> 00:05:58,059
I never had a life, though.
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00:05:58,092 --> 00:05:59,961
I never had a life to get back.
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00:05:59,994 --> 00:06:01,929
I want to start my life
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00:06:01,963 --> 00:06:03,798
because I've had this
for 25 years.
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00:06:03,831 --> 00:06:06,667
So it's like I...
I don't even have a jumping off point yet.
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00:06:07,802 --> 00:06:09,370
Unfortunately, back then,
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00:06:09,403 --> 00:06:12,773
there really were no
Lyme literate doctors.
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00:06:12,807 --> 00:06:14,809
It wasn't a part
of our vocabulary.
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00:06:15,943 --> 00:06:17,878
Look at it like this, Beth.
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00:06:17,912 --> 00:06:20,247
Early childhood trauma
loads the gun
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00:06:20,281 --> 00:06:21,782
for chronic conditions.
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00:06:21,816 --> 00:06:23,918
Auto immune diseases
like Lyme
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00:06:23,951 --> 00:06:25,219
pull the trigger.
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00:06:26,253 --> 00:06:28,289
Functional
whole body medicine
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00:06:28,322 --> 00:06:29,991
has come a long way.
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00:06:30,024 --> 00:06:33,027
That's why we treat
the body and the mind.
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00:06:33,661 --> 00:06:35,463
You can't have one
without the other.
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00:06:36,263 --> 00:06:39,066
How has it been going
talking with your parents?
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00:06:39,100 --> 00:06:40,401
Have you confronted them yet?
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00:06:44,005 --> 00:06:46,607
I believe you
that this is hard
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00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:48,776
and this is not
something I take lightly.
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00:06:48,809 --> 00:06:52,079
We've tried years of
antibiotics, vegan,
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00:06:52,113 --> 00:06:56,484
Paleo, talk therapy and
EDMR, support groups,
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00:06:56,516 --> 00:06:58,019
biofeedback and float tanks.
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00:06:58,052 --> 00:07:01,322
Nothing has brought your
inflammation levels down.
92
00:07:01,689 --> 00:07:02,923
Nothing.
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00:07:03,691 --> 00:07:05,426
Not confronting your parents,
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00:07:05,459 --> 00:07:06,694
it's making you sicker, Beth.
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00:07:08,162 --> 00:07:10,431
There's a house
on a street by the sea...
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00:07:11,799 --> 00:07:14,435
with faded blue shingles,
weathered to gray.
97
00:07:14,468 --> 00:07:16,504
It's lights burning bright,
98
00:07:16,536 --> 00:07:17,738
but never for me.
99
00:07:34,855 --> 00:07:37,058
I have a question for you.
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00:07:39,827 --> 00:07:42,830
If you knew then,
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00:07:42,863 --> 00:07:44,298
when you were punishing me,
102
00:07:46,333 --> 00:07:49,070
when you were... when you were
hitting me with a belt
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00:07:49,870 --> 00:07:50,938
and the switch,
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00:07:52,606 --> 00:07:54,308
if you knew then
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00:07:54,341 --> 00:07:57,478
that it would make me grow up
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00:07:58,546 --> 00:08:01,115
to be someone...
107
00:08:03,851 --> 00:08:06,420
who does this...
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00:08:07,121 --> 00:08:08,722
every day,
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00:08:08,756 --> 00:08:11,225
multiple times a day,
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00:08:11,258 --> 00:08:12,893
would you still do it?
111
00:08:14,295 --> 00:08:15,729
Would you still do it?
112
00:08:16,764 --> 00:08:18,399
I just want to know.
113
00:08:21,535 --> 00:08:23,737
I have no self-esteem.
114
00:08:25,139 --> 00:08:27,508
And I don't know if
that was just by design.
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00:08:27,541 --> 00:08:30,177
Like, I don't know if
you guys...
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00:08:30,211 --> 00:08:31,912
you guys did all that
117
00:08:31,946 --> 00:08:33,180
so... so you would
break me down
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00:08:33,214 --> 00:08:34,715
and I wouldn't have
my own identity
119
00:08:34,748 --> 00:08:38,552
and I would just follow
your very strict rules.
120
00:08:38,586 --> 00:08:41,889
I don't... I don't know if that
was the desired effect.
121
00:08:41,922 --> 00:08:42,957
Maybe it was.
122
00:08:47,995 --> 00:08:51,031
Well, we all know I... I couldn't...
I couldn't follow those rules.
123
00:08:57,238 --> 00:08:59,707
I think that everything
that you guys did to me
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00:08:59,740 --> 00:09:01,275
when I was a kid,
125
00:09:01,308 --> 00:09:04,111
I stuffed down so deep...
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00:09:07,781 --> 00:09:09,950
until one day my body
just let it all go.
127
00:09:16,757 --> 00:09:18,225
And now we're here.
128
00:09:34,609 --> 00:09:36,177
Who is this person?
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00:09:42,016 --> 00:09:43,851
Eddie. Eddie.
130
00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:46,120
You want to talk so bad?
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00:09:52,826 --> 00:09:55,896
Hi, is this Beth?
132
00:09:56,631 --> 00:09:58,667
- Yeah!
- It's me, Eddie.
133
00:09:58,699 --> 00:10:01,202
We have a date tonight,
I think.
134
00:10:01,235 --> 00:10:04,038
There's like 50 Beth Cs
on here, shit!
135
00:10:04,338 --> 00:10:05,839
Huh?
136
00:10:05,873 --> 00:10:07,676
I'm supposed to...
I'm supposed to be on this date,
137
00:10:07,708 --> 00:10:10,311
a video date,
uh, pandemic style.
138
00:10:10,344 --> 00:10:12,513
Is this like some
kind of troll thing?
139
00:10:12,546 --> 00:10:15,650
No, I made a mistake.
Honest mistake, okay.
140
00:10:15,684 --> 00:10:17,017
I was chatting with this girl
141
00:10:17,051 --> 00:10:20,487
on one of those
free dating apps.
142
00:10:20,521 --> 00:10:22,790
Mixed bag, you know?
143
00:10:22,823 --> 00:10:26,628
Maybe I was meant to
call you by accident. Huh?
144
00:10:27,861 --> 00:10:29,330
You believe in fate?
145
00:10:29,363 --> 00:10:32,667
Ooh, okay, yeah,
I... I see.
146
00:10:32,701 --> 00:10:36,403
So like, you're just like some,
like, internet scam artist.
147
00:10:36,437 --> 00:10:37,938
No. No.
148
00:10:39,907 --> 00:10:41,742
We could all use
a friend right now.
149
00:10:41,775 --> 00:10:43,712
I don't have anybody
to talk to.
150
00:10:43,744 --> 00:10:46,513
- I was supposed to be out on a date...
- Clearly.
151
00:10:46,547 --> 00:10:49,383
And I wouldn't mind
talking to someone
152
00:10:49,416 --> 00:10:52,286
and... and I... I mean,
if you don't mind,
153
00:10:52,319 --> 00:10:55,556
I... I'd like to chat
a little bit.
154
00:10:55,589 --> 00:10:58,425
You know, I didn't mean to
interrupt what was go...
155
00:10:58,459 --> 00:11:00,361
I... I didn't mean
anything like that.
156
00:11:00,394 --> 00:11:02,563
I'm trying to...
I'm kind of nervous.
157
00:11:02,596 --> 00:11:03,998
I don't go on...
on too many dates...
158
00:11:04,031 --> 00:11:05,232
Oh, you don't say?
159
00:11:09,970 --> 00:11:11,405
Oh, you're still here?
160
00:11:11,905 --> 00:11:12,973
Are you okay?
161
00:11:13,774 --> 00:11:15,576
I am not having a good day.
162
00:11:16,745 --> 00:11:20,180
So, I'm really sorry that I...
163
00:11:20,214 --> 00:11:22,950
No, no, I'm... I'm sorry,
I clearly interrupted.
164
00:11:22,983 --> 00:11:24,619
And, um...
165
00:11:24,653 --> 00:11:27,521
Which was not my
intention at all.
166
00:11:27,554 --> 00:11:30,357
Listen, I mean,
I don't know how long
167
00:11:30,391 --> 00:11:31,693
this has lasted already,
168
00:11:31,726 --> 00:11:33,394
but, I mean,
we've come this far,
169
00:11:33,427 --> 00:11:35,229
so, hey, why don't...
170
00:11:35,262 --> 00:11:38,265
Hi, I'm... I'm Eddie,
and, uh,
171
00:11:38,299 --> 00:11:39,701
it's... it's nice to meet you.
172
00:11:40,334 --> 00:11:44,305
Um, I'll extend my hand
to you.
173
00:11:44,338 --> 00:11:47,941
- There... There you go.
- Okay.
174
00:11:47,975 --> 00:11:50,712
- Okay.
- So now we know each other.
175
00:11:51,478 --> 00:11:54,214
I'm... I'm from...
I'm from New England.
176
00:11:54,248 --> 00:11:55,382
New England.
177
00:11:55,416 --> 00:11:56,718
Are you a fisherman?
178
00:11:58,018 --> 00:11:59,920
I do a little bit of fishing.
179
00:11:59,953 --> 00:12:02,589
- Yeah?
- I used to fish, I don't...
180
00:12:02,624 --> 00:12:04,024
Like lobsters and shit?
181
00:12:05,526 --> 00:12:08,295
I love to eat lobsters.
182
00:12:08,329 --> 00:12:10,064
There it is.
183
00:12:10,864 --> 00:12:12,266
You get the lobsters,
184
00:12:12,299 --> 00:12:14,736
you get the lobsters
from the boats.
185
00:12:14,769 --> 00:12:16,170
- Lobsters.
- I eat a lot of lobsters.
186
00:12:16,203 --> 00:12:18,305
I can't have shellfish, man.
187
00:12:19,440 --> 00:12:20,742
You're
allergic to shellfish?
188
00:12:20,775 --> 00:12:22,843
No, I'm not allergic,
but I have...
189
00:12:22,876 --> 00:12:25,479
So I have Lyme disease,
and like,
190
00:12:25,512 --> 00:12:27,081
there's all this shit
you can't eat.
191
00:12:27,114 --> 00:12:28,650
Like, I can't eat
fucking anything.
192
00:12:28,683 --> 00:12:31,118
Like, I can't have anything
that comes in a shell.
193
00:12:31,151 --> 00:12:33,287
I can't have beef.
194
00:12:33,320 --> 00:12:35,022
I can't have coffee.
195
00:12:35,055 --> 00:12:36,924
I can't have peppermint.
196
00:12:36,957 --> 00:12:38,992
I can't have the cheese.
197
00:12:39,026 --> 00:12:40,829
Oh, I'd fucking give my life
198
00:12:40,861 --> 00:12:42,731
for one of those
Cheddar Bay Biscuits.
199
00:12:46,801 --> 00:12:49,303
You... You have
really pretty eyes.
200
00:12:49,336 --> 00:12:51,773
You're flirting with me,
aren't you?
201
00:12:51,806 --> 00:12:54,942
Well,
I have to say I'm out of practice,
202
00:12:54,975 --> 00:12:58,145
so, uh, I'm... I'm glad it's
going well so far.
203
00:12:58,178 --> 00:13:01,115
Oh... oh, no.
204
00:13:03,884 --> 00:13:07,121
But I will say, I...
I want to know more about your wall
205
00:13:07,154 --> 00:13:09,523
because your apartment
looks amazing.
206
00:13:09,556 --> 00:13:12,827
So, like, what other cool stuff
do you got going on in there?
207
00:13:12,861 --> 00:13:15,262
So you, like, want to
get to know me a little bit?
208
00:13:16,430 --> 00:13:19,701
You wanna... You like genuinely
want to know who I am.
209
00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:21,803
I'm enjoying talking to you.
210
00:13:22,771 --> 00:13:25,740
Um, yeah, I... I like you...
I like you too.
211
00:13:26,073 --> 00:13:28,409
Like you're... you're pretty cool.
212
00:13:28,442 --> 00:13:30,043
But remember,
this isn't a date.
213
00:13:30,077 --> 00:13:31,979
This is
definitely not a date.
214
00:13:32,012 --> 00:13:35,582
It's just a... It's just
a conversation of friends.
215
00:13:35,617 --> 00:13:36,751
Right?
216
00:13:36,785 --> 00:13:38,419
I'm a little... I'm...
217
00:13:38,452 --> 00:13:41,890
I'm up past my bedtime,
I'm a little tired.
218
00:13:41,922 --> 00:13:44,525
So, maybe, um...
219
00:13:44,558 --> 00:13:47,729
Maybe I'll just, like, show
you the bedroom real fast.
220
00:13:47,762 --> 00:13:49,229
- All right, okay.
- But it's gonna be
221
00:13:49,263 --> 00:13:52,166
a platonic bed situation
with no boobs.
222
00:13:52,199 --> 00:13:55,068
- No boobs!
- And nothing... No funny business.
223
00:13:55,102 --> 00:13:57,337
Well, I'll let you in on
a little secret.
224
00:13:58,305 --> 00:14:02,409
- I brought protection.
- Ohh!
225
00:14:03,745 --> 00:14:05,747
I don't even want to
know what that means.
226
00:14:05,780 --> 00:14:08,048
Did you get it? Because, I mean, we're...
It's a video chat, right?
227
00:14:08,081 --> 00:14:11,051
So, like, you can't get
hepatitis like this.
228
00:14:11,084 --> 00:14:14,121
That's right.
It's very safe, you know, it's...
229
00:14:38,078 --> 00:14:40,113
How'd you sleep last night?
230
00:14:40,147 --> 00:14:42,983
Mm, pretty good,
actually.
231
00:14:43,016 --> 00:14:45,052
All right,
would it be weird
232
00:14:45,085 --> 00:14:47,922
to ask you on a date tonight?
233
00:14:47,956 --> 00:14:49,924
I was gonna
ask you on a date.
234
00:14:49,958 --> 00:14:53,728
Now we're doing the traditional
gender role thing.
235
00:14:53,761 --> 00:14:56,898
Yes, yes,
I say yes to a date with you.
236
00:14:56,931 --> 00:14:58,999
I'll even let you pay
237
00:14:59,032 --> 00:15:00,969
if you're worried
about the patriarchy.
238
00:15:01,535 --> 00:15:03,337
- How about it?
- Toots!
239
00:15:03,370 --> 00:15:05,472
I wanted you to call me
Toots there.
240
00:15:05,506 --> 00:15:06,573
It's a balance.
241
00:15:08,041 --> 00:15:10,778
How about it, Toots?
242
00:15:10,812 --> 00:15:14,849
Yes, I will
pick you up around six,
243
00:15:14,883 --> 00:15:15,917
nine, your time?
244
00:15:18,653 --> 00:15:20,822
Perfect, it's a date.
245
00:15:21,455 --> 00:15:22,924
I'll see you then,
pretty lady.
246
00:15:22,957 --> 00:15:25,994
See you then, stud.
247
00:15:30,030 --> 00:15:32,132
Frustration
in major cities this week
248
00:15:32,165 --> 00:15:35,102
as the homeless flood the streets
with nowhere left to turn,
249
00:15:35,135 --> 00:15:36,838
many recently evicted
due to
250
00:15:36,871 --> 00:15:39,106
the financial burden of
the pandemic.
251
00:15:39,139 --> 00:15:41,208
Mayors are struggling
to contain the virus
252
00:15:41,241 --> 00:15:43,945
with so many displaced people
and no federal assistance.
253
00:15:47,147 --> 00:15:49,583
Those dying
of the deadly virus this year
254
00:15:49,617 --> 00:15:51,953
are dying alone,
a new study shows.
255
00:15:54,521 --> 00:15:56,724
Doesn't that
sound strange to you at all?
256
00:15:56,758 --> 00:15:58,626
He accidentally
video called you?
257
00:15:58,660 --> 00:16:00,193
I don't know if that's strange.
I mean,
258
00:16:00,227 --> 00:16:02,195
people are doing video calls
all the time, right?
259
00:16:02,229 --> 00:16:04,799
- Like people...
- Yes, with people that they know,
260
00:16:04,832 --> 00:16:06,066
established people
in their lives.
261
00:16:06,099 --> 00:16:07,802
Not with strangers
with no last names
262
00:16:07,835 --> 00:16:09,403
and no proof of who they are
or where they're from
263
00:16:09,436 --> 00:16:11,071
- or what they're doing...
- He's in New England.
264
00:16:11,104 --> 00:16:13,574
- He lives in New England.
- New England?
265
00:16:13,608 --> 00:16:14,909
- Yeah.
- Oh...
266
00:16:14,943 --> 00:16:18,913
So no specific state,
no specific city.
267
00:16:18,947 --> 00:16:20,080
What does he do?
268
00:16:20,915 --> 00:16:22,249
He...
269
00:16:22,282 --> 00:16:23,818
What is his history like?
270
00:16:23,851 --> 00:16:25,552
- He...
- Is he a felon?
271
00:16:26,054 --> 00:16:29,023
That's not fair.
272
00:16:29,057 --> 00:16:30,591
You have no...
You have no idea.
273
00:16:30,625 --> 00:16:32,192
You know what I do know, Beth?
274
00:16:32,225 --> 00:16:34,428
I know that I've
received your blood tests,
275
00:16:34,461 --> 00:16:36,530
and right now,
your inflammation levels
276
00:16:36,563 --> 00:16:40,267
are... are 20 times the level
of the average person,
277
00:16:40,300 --> 00:16:43,236
which could cause many problems,
including a potential stroke.
278
00:16:43,938 --> 00:16:46,440
And right now is the time
where we need to focus
279
00:16:46,473 --> 00:16:47,675
more than ever on you
280
00:16:47,709 --> 00:16:49,242
and your health
and your wellness
281
00:16:49,276 --> 00:16:52,046
so we can attempt to bring
this inflammation down.
282
00:16:52,080 --> 00:16:54,916
You're not here with me.
You're not going through this.
283
00:16:54,949 --> 00:16:57,685
You don't know
what it feels like.
284
00:16:57,719 --> 00:16:59,219
You know,
you... you have your life.
285
00:16:59,252 --> 00:17:01,521
You get to have your life
with your family
286
00:17:01,555 --> 00:17:04,124
and your house and your garden
that you planted.
287
00:17:04,157 --> 00:17:05,960
And like...
288
00:17:05,994 --> 00:17:08,796
When am I gonna have that?
289
00:17:08,830 --> 00:17:11,633
You're telling me I have to
be, like, completely well
290
00:17:11,666 --> 00:17:13,801
before I even think about
something like that?
291
00:17:14,434 --> 00:17:17,605
No, I'm not saying not at all.
I'm saying right now,
292
00:17:17,639 --> 00:17:19,774
your focus just has to be
on you,
293
00:17:19,807 --> 00:17:21,441
for you, about you.
294
00:17:22,644 --> 00:17:24,045
I don't want to live there.
295
00:17:25,278 --> 00:17:27,015
I can't live there, so...
296
00:17:29,851 --> 00:17:31,919
Not facing...
297
00:17:31,953 --> 00:17:34,656
yourself head on,
298
00:17:34,689 --> 00:17:38,458
I believe at this time and
this state of your diagnosis
299
00:17:38,492 --> 00:17:41,629
is the thing that is...
300
00:17:41,663 --> 00:17:43,397
holding us back.
301
00:17:43,430 --> 00:17:45,298
Well, you know,
you scare me when you say
302
00:17:45,332 --> 00:17:48,102
that I could just at
any moment stroke out
303
00:17:48,136 --> 00:17:51,105
or fucking keel over
from a heart attack.
304
00:17:51,139 --> 00:17:52,572
Do you know how
much that scares me
305
00:17:52,607 --> 00:17:54,075
when you say shit like that?
306
00:17:55,143 --> 00:17:57,011
It does, it is scary.
307
00:17:57,045 --> 00:17:58,311
That's why I can't play...
308
00:17:58,345 --> 00:18:00,148
That's why we can't
play these games.
309
00:18:00,180 --> 00:18:02,917
That's why we can't...
we can't afford to spend time
310
00:18:02,950 --> 00:18:04,251
or energy or focus
on anything else
311
00:18:04,284 --> 00:18:05,653
because it is scary, Beth.
312
00:18:13,527 --> 00:18:15,395
The virus has mutated
313
00:18:15,429 --> 00:18:18,265
and is even more deadly
than previously assumed.
314
00:18:18,298 --> 00:18:20,868
They advise continuing to
shelter in place
315
00:18:20,902 --> 00:18:23,705
until conditions improve.
316
00:18:23,738 --> 00:18:26,440
The president today said that
he is withholding federal aid
317
00:18:26,473 --> 00:18:28,876
to the Democrat or
blue led states of
318
00:18:28,910 --> 00:18:31,079
California,
Oregon, and Washington
319
00:18:31,112 --> 00:18:33,346
during this violent
fire season,
320
00:18:33,380 --> 00:18:35,883
that so far has claimed
the lives of dozens
321
00:18:35,917 --> 00:18:37,885
and the homes of hundreds.
322
00:18:45,225 --> 00:18:46,861
Beth, I had a thought.
323
00:18:46,894 --> 00:18:48,328
If talking to those chairs
in therapy
324
00:18:48,361 --> 00:18:50,631
isn't working for you,
try something else.
325
00:18:51,364 --> 00:18:54,635
A letter maybe, an email,
maybe even a video.
326
00:18:55,069 --> 00:18:56,137
Do what works for you.
327
00:19:18,793 --> 00:19:20,895
Hey, Mom and Dad.
328
00:19:21,796 --> 00:19:22,997
Just saying hi.
329
00:19:24,866 --> 00:19:26,399
I'm supposed to talk to you.
330
00:19:26,868 --> 00:19:28,770
I'm trying to talk to you.
I don't know...
331
00:19:29,604 --> 00:19:31,072
I don't really know
what I'm doing.
332
00:19:32,039 --> 00:19:34,508
You would probably think this
is crazy, huh?
333
00:19:34,541 --> 00:19:36,177
I mean, I think it's crazy.
334
00:19:38,613 --> 00:19:39,680
I miss you.
335
00:19:41,448 --> 00:19:43,316
It really sucks that
you both died.
336
00:19:44,051 --> 00:19:45,253
Right back to back.
337
00:19:46,319 --> 00:19:47,487
Couldn't stagger it for me?
338
00:19:49,223 --> 00:19:50,290
No, it's all right.
339
00:20:05,139 --> 00:20:06,306
Okay, good talk.
340
00:20:32,332 --> 00:20:34,235
H...
341
00:20:35,770 --> 00:20:37,138
My God, are you okay?
342
00:20:37,171 --> 00:20:39,240
- I'm fine.
- Are you okay?
343
00:20:39,273 --> 00:20:40,808
- No, I'm fine.
- Get a drink.
344
00:20:40,842 --> 00:20:43,010
Do you want to
get something to drink?
345
00:20:43,044 --> 00:20:45,680
No, I just... No,
I have a something in my throat, I'm fine.
346
00:20:45,713 --> 00:20:47,281
Oh, hi.
347
00:20:47,315 --> 00:20:50,251
- Hi.
- Hi! Hi, how are you?
348
00:20:50,284 --> 00:20:52,452
No, I just have
a Lyme cough sometimes.
349
00:20:52,485 --> 00:20:54,288
It's like a dry cough.
350
00:20:54,322 --> 00:20:56,757
It came at a really
bad moment.
351
00:20:56,791 --> 00:20:58,759
Wow, uh, that's a...
352
00:20:58,793 --> 00:21:01,329
that's a hell of an entrance
you made.
353
00:21:01,361 --> 00:21:03,463
Hi.
354
00:21:03,496 --> 00:21:05,599
God, you look beautiful.
355
00:21:05,633 --> 00:21:10,004
Well, you look very sexy.
You look really hot.
356
00:21:10,037 --> 00:21:12,206
You look super...
You're, um...
357
00:21:12,240 --> 00:21:13,608
- In my sweater?
- Yeah.
358
00:21:13,641 --> 00:21:16,210
- That where I was going.
- Sexual.
359
00:21:16,244 --> 00:21:17,812
I was going for
the, uh, sexy fisherman.
360
00:21:17,845 --> 00:21:19,814
Have you been looking at
my Pornhub account?
361
00:21:19,847 --> 00:21:21,716
You know my type?
362
00:21:21,749 --> 00:21:24,151
- Ooh...
- Is that it? Is that what comes up in your queue,
363
00:21:24,185 --> 00:21:26,519
- sexy fishermen?
- Sexy fishermen.
364
00:21:26,553 --> 00:21:28,521
I'm a little nervous,
I'm a little...
365
00:21:28,555 --> 00:21:30,057
I'm nervous too.
366
00:21:30,091 --> 00:21:33,460
I feel like I'm kind of
sweating already and I...-
367
00:21:33,493 --> 00:21:35,696
Sorry, I shouldn't have even have said that.
368
00:21:35,730 --> 00:21:39,667
No that's okay, human sweat.
I'm sweating.
369
00:21:39,700 --> 00:21:42,569
Yeah, well, I mean,
I would imagine it's hot there.
370
00:21:42,603 --> 00:21:44,071
Yeah, it is,
and I'm wearing Spanx.
371
00:21:44,105 --> 00:21:47,141
Well, I, um...
I... I got you flowers.
372
00:21:47,174 --> 00:21:49,143
Oh, my gosh.
373
00:21:49,176 --> 00:21:50,745
- That is so...
- Yeah.
374
00:21:50,778 --> 00:21:54,514
Wow. Geez.
That is like really...
375
00:21:54,547 --> 00:21:56,150
I wish you could smell them.
376
00:21:56,183 --> 00:21:57,852
They, uh...
They smell pretty good.
377
00:21:57,885 --> 00:21:59,253
I... I don't...
I don't know what...
378
00:21:59,287 --> 00:22:01,222
I don't know what
the other shit is.
379
00:22:01,255 --> 00:22:03,691
Well,
I like that shit.
380
00:22:05,458 --> 00:22:06,861
I wanted to make
this night perfect.
381
00:22:06,894 --> 00:22:09,562
And I... I thought,
you know, uh...
382
00:22:09,596 --> 00:22:10,998
if I was seeing you
face to face,
383
00:22:11,032 --> 00:22:14,101
I would... I would
give you flowers, um...
384
00:22:14,635 --> 00:22:17,071
'cause you deserve them.
Yeah.
385
00:22:18,239 --> 00:22:20,141
Here... Here you go.
386
00:22:20,641 --> 00:22:21,742
Thank you.
387
00:22:24,245 --> 00:22:26,513
What was your dream job
when you were a kid?
388
00:22:27,415 --> 00:22:28,581
Probably this.
389
00:22:29,884 --> 00:22:31,419
Exactly this.
390
00:22:32,920 --> 00:22:33,988
Looking at you.
391
00:22:41,494 --> 00:22:44,365
I wish I could
kiss you right now.
392
00:22:46,434 --> 00:22:47,500
Yeah?
393
00:22:48,636 --> 00:22:50,470
I just wish I could...
394
00:22:50,905 --> 00:22:52,539
Oh...
395
00:22:53,607 --> 00:22:55,076
I wish I was
right there with you
396
00:22:55,109 --> 00:22:57,044
and I was just able to
give you a kiss.
397
00:23:02,582 --> 00:23:04,719
I don't know, here I am
saying I want to kiss you,
398
00:23:04,752 --> 00:23:07,587
I don't even... I don't really
know your... your last name.
399
00:23:07,621 --> 00:23:10,324
And I'm
asking for a kiss.
400
00:23:11,025 --> 00:23:12,293
What is your last name?
401
00:23:13,627 --> 00:23:15,629
Do you have a middle name?
402
00:23:15,997 --> 00:23:17,298
Um...
403
00:23:18,866 --> 00:23:21,969
Wh... Why... Why do you
want to know my last name?
404
00:23:24,605 --> 00:23:26,674
Oh, I... I don't.
405
00:23:26,707 --> 00:23:28,943
I mean, I was just...
I was saying
406
00:23:28,976 --> 00:23:30,845
just because I asked...
407
00:23:30,878 --> 00:23:32,813
I asked to kiss you.
I said...
408
00:23:32,847 --> 00:23:35,416
You know, I don't even...
It's kind of weird.
409
00:23:35,449 --> 00:23:37,451
You know, you feel like if you...
if you were on a date
410
00:23:37,485 --> 00:23:40,454
and you were leading up to
that moment of kissing,
411
00:23:40,488 --> 00:23:42,490
that you would, I don't know,
at that point,
412
00:23:42,522 --> 00:23:44,258
you probably would've
known each other's names.
413
00:23:44,291 --> 00:23:45,459
- And I just...
- Yeah.
414
00:23:45,493 --> 00:23:46,660
Just thought
it was interesting
415
00:23:46,694 --> 00:23:48,429
that I don't know
your last name.
416
00:23:48,896 --> 00:23:51,198
You're trying to like...
417
00:23:51,232 --> 00:23:53,701
Like, are you...
You want to take my identity
418
00:23:53,734 --> 00:23:55,269
or, like, find out
all my passwords or...
419
00:23:55,302 --> 00:23:56,837
- Because, um...
- No.
420
00:23:56,871 --> 00:23:58,973
There's a lot of, you know,
there's a lot of scams.
421
00:23:59,006 --> 00:24:00,941
There's a lot of scams out there
422
00:24:00,975 --> 00:24:03,144
and... and I have been very
open and honest with you.
423
00:24:03,177 --> 00:24:05,112
- You know my entire life story.
- A scam?
424
00:24:05,146 --> 00:24:07,114
No, I... You know
my entire life story.
425
00:24:07,148 --> 00:24:08,315
What... What do you...
426
00:24:08,349 --> 00:24:09,650
I've taken you
around my apartment,
427
00:24:09,683 --> 00:24:11,652
you know pretty much
where I live.
428
00:24:11,685 --> 00:24:13,187
I took you in
the shower with me.
429
00:24:13,220 --> 00:24:17,725
You've seen my body.
You know things about me.
430
00:24:17,758 --> 00:24:21,195
And now I'm afraid that maybe
we've just been doing this
431
00:24:21,228 --> 00:24:23,064
a little too much,
a little too fast.
432
00:24:23,097 --> 00:24:24,965
Look, I'm not some...
some kind of creep,
433
00:24:24,999 --> 00:24:28,702
I just... I just find it, um...
It's not a scam.
434
00:24:28,736 --> 00:24:30,671
- I just didn't know your...
- I want to believe that,
435
00:24:30,704 --> 00:24:32,006
I really want to believe that,
436
00:24:32,039 --> 00:24:34,475
but now I'm afraid
because, you know,
437
00:24:34,508 --> 00:24:36,677
I... I came... You know,
438
00:24:36,710 --> 00:24:38,746
I even told you last night
because I'm an idiot.
439
00:24:38,779 --> 00:24:40,815
I'm so fucking stupid.
I told you, last night...
440
00:24:40,848 --> 00:24:43,017
What are you
talking about?
441
00:24:43,050 --> 00:24:45,585
I got inheritance from my parents when
they died. It wasn't much but you know,
442
00:24:45,619 --> 00:24:47,587
I just openly gave you
that information
443
00:24:48,622 --> 00:24:51,725
- and, and you want my money.
- I just wanted to know your...
444
00:24:51,759 --> 00:24:53,260
I just asked your name.
445
00:24:53,294 --> 00:24:55,563
I didn't... I didn't say
I even wanted to know it,
446
00:24:55,595 --> 00:24:57,731
I just said I don't
know your name.
447
00:24:57,765 --> 00:25:01,502
And I... I put... I put myself
out there, I just...
448
00:25:01,936 --> 00:25:04,505
Where are you right now?
449
00:25:04,538 --> 00:25:06,607
You... Look, you've seen
my entire apartment.
450
00:25:06,640 --> 00:25:08,342
I've... I've shown you
everything.
451
00:25:08,375 --> 00:25:11,612
You're just in front of
this blue wall.
452
00:25:11,645 --> 00:25:13,447
Where are you?
Are you, like, in the...
453
00:25:13,481 --> 00:25:15,015
a basement or
are you in prison?
454
00:25:15,049 --> 00:25:16,717
Oh, do you...
do you have a wife?
455
00:25:16,750 --> 00:25:18,919
Is that what this is?
Are you hiding?
456
00:25:18,953 --> 00:25:21,055
Are you cheating from your wife?
You got kids upstairs.
457
00:25:21,088 --> 00:25:23,023
Is this just some, like,
little project for you?
458
00:25:23,057 --> 00:25:26,760
I'm just, like, some
stupid girl across the country
459
00:25:26,794 --> 00:25:29,130
that you can chat with
and feel good about yourself.
460
00:25:29,163 --> 00:25:32,266
Look, I can't... I can't do this.
I can't do this and I'm sorry.
461
00:25:32,299 --> 00:25:34,768
I'm sorry,
did not mean anything by it.
462
00:25:34,802 --> 00:25:37,404
- I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
- Don't go, don't go.
463
00:25:37,438 --> 00:25:38,739
- I'm sorry.
- Please don't go!
464
00:25:44,111 --> 00:25:46,380
Please don't go.
465
00:25:46,981 --> 00:25:47,982
Fuck.
466
00:25:53,587 --> 00:25:54,989
Why do you always do this?
467
00:25:55,624 --> 00:25:57,158
Why do you always do this?
468
00:25:59,460 --> 00:26:01,328
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
469
00:26:02,429 --> 00:26:04,198
Why do you always
gotta be like her?
470
00:26:04,865 --> 00:26:06,400
Such a fucking idiot.
471
00:26:25,386 --> 00:26:29,056
Hi. Hi.
I am so sorry.
472
00:26:29,723 --> 00:26:31,759
I am so, so, so,
so, so sorry.
473
00:26:31,792 --> 00:26:33,794
I did not...
I did not mean to do that
474
00:26:33,827 --> 00:26:35,129
the way that it came out
475
00:26:35,162 --> 00:26:37,632
and I... I know...
I know you're a good guy
476
00:26:37,666 --> 00:26:40,635
and I'm just...
I'm just a paranoid loser
477
00:26:40,669 --> 00:26:43,672
- that doesn't understand.
- Stop, stop, stop, just stop.
478
00:26:43,704 --> 00:26:47,708
Just stop, please, please,
please just stop.
479
00:26:54,081 --> 00:26:55,182
You're right.
480
00:26:57,686 --> 00:26:58,786
I haven't been honest.
481
00:27:02,489 --> 00:27:06,427
I'm sorry. I... I... I just...
I just... I just...
482
00:27:06,727 --> 00:27:08,630
I need to say...
483
00:27:09,396 --> 00:27:11,465
I just need... I need to say...
I need to say it.
484
00:27:11,498 --> 00:27:15,102
I need to... I need to...
I need to tell you who I am.
485
00:27:16,870 --> 00:27:18,640
I just need to be honest.
486
00:27:19,708 --> 00:27:21,475
- Okay.
- I just need you to listen.
487
00:27:21,508 --> 00:27:25,145
I just... I just need you
to listen to me.
488
00:27:25,179 --> 00:27:26,981
Can you do that for me?
489
00:27:27,014 --> 00:27:29,149
Can you... Can you please
just listen to me?
490
00:27:30,284 --> 00:27:32,753
- Please?
- Yeah. Yeah, I'll listen.
491
00:27:39,927 --> 00:27:42,296
My name is Eddie.
492
00:27:44,898 --> 00:27:46,100
I live in Rhode Island.
493
00:27:48,068 --> 00:27:49,671
I live with my mother.
494
00:27:52,473 --> 00:27:55,342
I've battled alcoholism...
495
00:27:55,376 --> 00:27:56,645
many years.
496
00:27:59,380 --> 00:28:00,781
My wife...
497
00:28:02,416 --> 00:28:04,285
she left me two years ago...
498
00:28:05,252 --> 00:28:06,688
because of a car accident.
499
00:28:08,889 --> 00:28:10,357
And now I'm in a wheelchair.
500
00:28:16,765 --> 00:28:19,366
I'm embarrassed.
501
00:28:19,800 --> 00:28:22,704
I'm 40 years old and
I live here with my mother.
502
00:28:23,971 --> 00:28:26,874
Things... Things aren't as bad
as one would think.
503
00:28:26,907 --> 00:28:29,810
You know, I mean, we actually
have a pretty good relationship,
504
00:28:29,843 --> 00:28:31,478
but for two years,
505
00:28:31,512 --> 00:28:33,682
I really had no connection
with anyone.
506
00:28:37,251 --> 00:28:39,721
I tried to make
better choices, I tried.
507
00:28:45,993 --> 00:28:47,127
But I drank.
508
00:28:49,129 --> 00:28:50,197
I drank a lot.
509
00:28:51,633 --> 00:28:53,367
I made bad choices.
510
00:28:53,834 --> 00:28:55,336
I lost control,
511
00:28:55,369 --> 00:28:57,237
we hit a curb
and that was it.
512
00:28:59,039 --> 00:29:00,709
I was... I woke...
513
00:29:06,781 --> 00:29:08,515
I woke up...
514
00:29:08,549 --> 00:29:10,752
I woke up in the hospital
a few days later.
515
00:29:11,552 --> 00:29:13,053
I had no use of my legs.
516
00:29:18,459 --> 00:29:20,762
They said my wife survived...
517
00:29:23,864 --> 00:29:25,065
but I never saw her again.
518
00:29:27,501 --> 00:29:30,104
You have to understand,
this...
519
00:29:32,005 --> 00:29:33,207
this connection, I...
520
00:29:37,077 --> 00:29:40,080
I haven't felt like this
in a long time.
521
00:29:42,149 --> 00:29:43,550
But when I saw you...
522
00:29:44,853 --> 00:29:47,054
When I saw you...
523
00:29:47,087 --> 00:29:48,889
and you picked up that phone,
524
00:29:48,922 --> 00:29:51,191
it was something there
that pulled me in.
525
00:29:52,493 --> 00:29:55,129
You were in need,
I was in need.
526
00:29:55,162 --> 00:29:57,030
It felt right, it
feels so right.
527
00:29:57,064 --> 00:29:59,734
It feels right.
I don't want anything from you.
528
00:29:59,768 --> 00:30:01,836
I don't want anything.
529
00:30:01,870 --> 00:30:04,873
No... No money,
no social security numbers,
530
00:30:04,905 --> 00:30:06,073
nothing like that.
531
00:30:06,106 --> 00:30:07,709
I want a friend.
532
00:30:07,742 --> 00:30:09,811
I want more than a friend,
I want that connection.
533
00:30:10,879 --> 00:30:13,046
But I understand that I...
534
00:30:15,115 --> 00:30:16,984
That I haven't been honest.
535
00:30:17,017 --> 00:30:19,687
I'm a product of
my own problems,
536
00:30:19,721 --> 00:30:20,822
my own vices.
537
00:30:22,757 --> 00:30:23,825
I'm two years sober.
538
00:30:25,058 --> 00:30:26,126
I'm clearheaded.
539
00:30:27,561 --> 00:30:29,831
- Okay.
- But I'm disabled.
540
00:30:31,398 --> 00:30:34,334
I have nothing but
this... this is room
541
00:30:34,368 --> 00:30:37,371
and this chair
and a mother who...
542
00:30:37,404 --> 00:30:39,173
who loves me unconditionally.
543
00:30:43,076 --> 00:30:46,513
You... You have given me...
544
00:30:46,547 --> 00:30:47,615
hope.
545
00:30:50,083 --> 00:30:52,085
Beth, see...
546
00:30:53,922 --> 00:30:56,056
I'm sorry that
I brought this on you.
547
00:30:56,089 --> 00:30:57,157
And...
548
00:30:59,993 --> 00:31:01,161
I'm sorry.
549
00:31:02,429 --> 00:31:03,665
I'm sorry.
550
00:31:06,433 --> 00:31:09,637
My... My n... My name...
551
00:31:09,671 --> 00:31:14,174
is, um,
Beth May Connell.
552
00:31:46,206 --> 00:31:47,642
I want to touch you.
553
00:31:48,710 --> 00:31:50,712
I want to
touch you so bad.
554
00:31:51,613 --> 00:31:53,480
I can't wait.
555
00:31:53,514 --> 00:31:55,783
I can't wait till the end of
this pandemic.
556
00:31:55,817 --> 00:31:56,885
I can't wait.
557
00:31:58,051 --> 00:32:00,287
We shouldn't
have to wait.
558
00:32:00,320 --> 00:32:03,925
What if... what if there was
a way I could be there with you?
559
00:32:04,525 --> 00:32:06,895
- How?
- In your dreams.
560
00:32:11,031 --> 00:32:12,499
I would like that.
561
00:32:13,400 --> 00:32:14,501
You promise?
562
00:32:16,004 --> 00:32:18,773
I promise that
I'll see you in your dreams.
563
00:32:25,980 --> 00:32:27,114
Goodnight.
564
00:32:28,515 --> 00:32:29,951
Goodnight, Eddie.
565
00:34:53,560 --> 00:34:55,529
Okay, okay, okay,
so you have to understand,
566
00:34:55,562 --> 00:34:57,865
like, he literally,
like, in the dream,
567
00:34:57,899 --> 00:34:59,867
it was like his face.
568
00:34:59,901 --> 00:35:01,803
He went...
went down, okay?
569
00:35:01,836 --> 00:35:03,604
He went way down, all right?
570
00:35:03,638 --> 00:35:06,206
- Oh, yeah.
- And I don't usually like that.
571
00:35:06,239 --> 00:35:08,776
Like, I don't usually...
I mean, it's been, like, years.
572
00:35:08,810 --> 00:35:10,210
Like I don't... I am not
usually a fan of that,
573
00:35:10,243 --> 00:35:12,312
but oh...
Oh, my God.
574
00:35:12,345 --> 00:35:14,314
I have never in my life,
575
00:35:14,347 --> 00:35:16,617
I have never had an orgasm
with a guy.
576
00:35:16,651 --> 00:35:18,052
You know this.
You know this.
577
00:35:18,086 --> 00:35:19,286
- I know, I know.
- I've come close.
578
00:35:19,319 --> 00:35:21,254
I feel like I
usually just fake it
579
00:35:21,288 --> 00:35:23,523
until, you know,
so it can just be over.
580
00:35:23,557 --> 00:35:25,325
It was like...
581
00:35:25,358 --> 00:35:26,961
He had like a magic...
582
00:35:26,994 --> 00:35:29,163
He stayed down there
for, like, 90 minutes.
583
00:35:29,197 --> 00:35:31,498
It was like a...
584
00:35:31,531 --> 00:35:33,634
a Geyser is what it was.
585
00:35:33,668 --> 00:35:35,870
Okay, does this person
actually have a job
586
00:35:35,903 --> 00:35:38,072
or does he just,
you know, I don't know.
587
00:35:39,874 --> 00:35:41,508
- Um...
- He's a clam digger all the time.
588
00:35:41,541 --> 00:35:42,542
I don't understand.
589
00:35:42,576 --> 00:35:44,311
Clam digger he is.
590
00:35:44,344 --> 00:35:46,814
Thank you for that
dated reference. Um...
591
00:35:46,848 --> 00:35:49,917
I'm gay, I don't do
the vagina thing so...
592
00:35:49,951 --> 00:35:51,753
- It's okay.
- It's a clam, right?
593
00:35:51,786 --> 00:35:55,156
It's a clam.
Let me preface this by saying...
594
00:35:55,189 --> 00:35:57,324
- You have an answer.
- Yes, I have an answer,
595
00:35:57,357 --> 00:35:59,227
- but it's not an answer...
- You're stalling-
596
00:35:59,259 --> 00:36:00,695
That you are
going to approve of.
597
00:36:00,728 --> 00:36:03,164
So I need you to know...
I need you to be kind,
598
00:36:03,197 --> 00:36:05,867
because this is...
this is a little bit sensitive, all right?
599
00:36:05,900 --> 00:36:08,335
And I care about this person.
I like this person.
600
00:36:08,368 --> 00:36:10,872
- He's a good person.
- Uh-huh.
601
00:36:10,905 --> 00:36:15,109
He lives in Rhode Island
in his mother's basement.
602
00:36:15,143 --> 00:36:20,615
- Shut the fuck up.
- Because he's a recovering alcoholic.
603
00:36:23,251 --> 00:36:25,519
And he got into a car crash
because of the alcohol
604
00:36:25,552 --> 00:36:27,554
and almost killed himself
and his wife.
605
00:36:27,587 --> 00:36:29,090
His wife survived,
he survived,
606
00:36:29,123 --> 00:36:31,458
but he is paralyzed now.
607
00:36:33,094 --> 00:36:35,630
What part is paralyzed,
just, his face?
608
00:36:35,663 --> 00:36:38,733
No, his, like, he can't walk.
He's in a wheelchair,
609
00:36:38,766 --> 00:36:42,069
but it's like from
the waist down so...
610
00:36:42,103 --> 00:36:43,171
yeah.
611
00:36:43,336 --> 00:36:44,939
Does his dick work?
612
00:36:44,972 --> 00:36:47,374
I mean, I think it works
but he... but he can't feel it.
613
00:36:49,143 --> 00:36:51,112
- Oh, God, Beth...
- So...
614
00:36:51,145 --> 00:36:52,613
- I know.
- Don't do this. Don't do this.
615
00:36:52,647 --> 00:36:55,382
- I know, I know.
- Don't do this.
616
00:36:55,415 --> 00:36:57,417
You need to end it now.
You've only known him for five minutes.
617
00:36:57,450 --> 00:37:01,255
It needs to... No, come on,
come on, come on, no, no.
618
00:37:01,289 --> 00:37:03,624
I like him, I like him.
I know, I know on paper...
619
00:37:03,658 --> 00:37:05,259
Of course you do,
of course you do.
620
00:37:05,293 --> 00:37:06,493
It doesn't sound good on paper.
621
00:37:06,526 --> 00:37:08,328
He's a special brand of
fixer-upper,
622
00:37:08,361 --> 00:37:10,597
and, uh, that's very
on brand for you.
623
00:37:10,631 --> 00:37:13,301
- Thank you.
- So I'm gonna need you
624
00:37:13,333 --> 00:37:15,837
to just like completely
cut ties with this guy.
625
00:37:17,305 --> 00:37:20,174
- No!
- Oh, my God.
626
00:37:20,208 --> 00:37:25,279
You have a tendency to
build things up in your mind
627
00:37:25,313 --> 00:37:28,950
and it ne-heh-ever
works out that way.
628
00:37:28,983 --> 00:37:30,618
But maybe that's time it will.
629
00:37:30,651 --> 00:37:33,353
You need to find someone stable.
That's what I'm saying.
630
00:37:33,386 --> 00:37:35,623
- I mean, I think he's stable...
- I don't think that...
631
00:37:35,656 --> 00:37:37,424
- What's this guy's name?
- Eddie.
632
00:37:37,457 --> 00:37:40,027
Eddie. Fisherman Eddie.
633
00:37:40,061 --> 00:37:42,029
I mean, I don't even really
know if he was a fisherman.
634
00:37:42,063 --> 00:37:43,363
He just mentioned it.
635
00:37:43,396 --> 00:37:44,632
And he has that accent,
you know?
636
00:37:44,665 --> 00:37:45,967
So it's like...
He sounds like a fi...
637
00:37:46,000 --> 00:37:47,768
It doesn't matter.
638
00:37:47,802 --> 00:37:51,438
Fishermen Eddie in his mom's
basement in his wheelchair
639
00:37:51,471 --> 00:37:53,373
is really gonna give you
the stability you need.
640
00:37:54,242 --> 00:37:57,345
What is so wrong
641
00:37:57,377 --> 00:38:01,849
with talking to a nice man
who listens to me
642
00:38:01,883 --> 00:38:04,685
and likes talking to me back?
643
00:38:04,719 --> 00:38:06,320
He like... He likes
my personality.
644
00:38:06,354 --> 00:38:09,522
He likes the way I look.
He compliments me all the time.
645
00:38:09,556 --> 00:38:11,993
I don't know.
What's so wrong with that?
646
00:38:12,026 --> 00:38:15,329
I don't want to see you
do this again.
647
00:38:15,363 --> 00:38:17,464
I guess I don't see
what's wrong
648
00:38:17,497 --> 00:38:20,067
in indulging in
a little bit of fantasy
649
00:38:20,101 --> 00:38:22,336
when the world is
fucking ending.
650
00:38:22,370 --> 00:38:24,205
It's a fantasy.
651
00:38:25,072 --> 00:38:27,208
- It's a...
- I'm just saying that we're not kids anymore
652
00:38:27,241 --> 00:38:29,343
and you have to start
thinking about your future.
653
00:38:29,377 --> 00:38:30,845
Anyway, it doesn't matter.
654
00:38:30,878 --> 00:38:32,512
And I don't care that he
doesn't have any money,
655
00:38:32,545 --> 00:38:35,016
and I don't care that he
lives with his mother.
656
00:38:35,049 --> 00:38:40,054
I don't care that he doesn't
have full use of his body.
657
00:38:40,087 --> 00:38:41,454
- I don't care.
- Well, I don't... I'm not saying
658
00:38:41,488 --> 00:38:42,924
that you shouldn't be
with someone
659
00:38:42,957 --> 00:38:44,424
because they don't have
full use of their body.
660
00:38:44,457 --> 00:38:46,526
It's just, with you it's
just one more thing...
661
00:38:46,559 --> 00:38:48,763
- Is what I'm saying.
- I know.
662
00:38:48,796 --> 00:38:50,331
I know.
663
00:38:50,364 --> 00:38:52,499
Yeah, it's like you
usually date broken men,
664
00:38:52,532 --> 00:38:54,368
and this time you've
really outdone yourself.
665
00:38:54,402 --> 00:38:57,071
I just want you to be happy
that I had, like,
666
00:38:57,104 --> 00:39:02,176
a gushing
female ejaculation experience
667
00:39:02,209 --> 00:39:04,312
for the first time in my life.
668
00:39:04,745 --> 00:39:06,847
- Wash your sheets.
- Okay.
669
00:39:07,048 --> 00:39:09,350
- All right.
- Aye, aye!
670
00:39:13,054 --> 00:39:15,823
So explain to me again
what really, like,
671
00:39:15,856 --> 00:39:18,292
what these...
these stretches do
672
00:39:18,326 --> 00:39:19,492
or like what, what's the...
673
00:39:22,595 --> 00:39:24,432
Oh, okay.
674
00:39:24,464 --> 00:39:25,900
I gotta ask you.
675
00:39:25,933 --> 00:39:28,535
I... I just, I... I can't...
I can't control it.
676
00:39:28,568 --> 00:39:32,206
I... I can't hide it anymore.
So I just gotta ask you, uh...
677
00:39:35,109 --> 00:39:36,677
Did you enjoy last night?
678
00:39:46,287 --> 00:39:48,956
- Uh...
- Last night, in your dreams?
679
00:39:51,092 --> 00:39:52,960
Did you enjoy last night?
680
00:39:54,462 --> 00:39:55,528
Um...
681
00:39:56,630 --> 00:40:00,968
Because I got to tell you,
I enjoyed it so much.
682
00:40:01,002 --> 00:40:04,472
Did you enjoy
the way I used my mouth?
683
00:40:09,143 --> 00:40:12,512
And it was like fireworks.
Come on, I know you... you...
684
00:40:12,545 --> 00:40:15,149
You were a screamer.
685
00:40:15,182 --> 00:40:18,619
You were a screamer
and I gotta tell you,
686
00:40:18,652 --> 00:40:21,255
I mean...
I gotta be honest.
687
00:40:21,288 --> 00:40:23,324
It got... It got...
It got a little messy,
688
00:40:23,357 --> 00:40:24,692
but I'm okay with that.
689
00:40:24,725 --> 00:40:26,394
Oh, my God!
690
00:40:27,161 --> 00:40:28,662
Oh, my God.
691
00:40:29,063 --> 00:40:31,799
- Um... what?
- I want to do it again.
692
00:40:31,832 --> 00:40:33,701
- Mm-hm.
- And I just wanna...
693
00:40:33,734 --> 00:40:35,803
- Yeah.
- I just want to make you feel good.
694
00:40:35,836 --> 00:40:37,938
Oh, my God.
695
00:40:37,972 --> 00:40:39,707
- Okay.
- I promised you
696
00:40:39,740 --> 00:40:41,442
I was going to see you
last night.
697
00:40:42,476 --> 00:40:43,944
And I kept my promise.
698
00:40:45,246 --> 00:40:48,548
It sounds pretty fucking crazy,
but it... it was real.
699
00:40:50,384 --> 00:40:51,719
And I made it happen.
700
00:40:52,920 --> 00:40:55,456
You need to...
You need to explain
701
00:40:55,489 --> 00:40:58,059
what is happening right now,
702
00:40:58,092 --> 00:41:02,496
because, um, if you were
in my bed last night,
703
00:41:02,530 --> 00:41:04,165
that's a little hard
for me to...
704
00:41:04,198 --> 00:41:06,867
I don't really understand
the mechanics of that.
705
00:41:06,901 --> 00:41:10,071
Have you ever heard
of astral projection?
706
00:41:13,107 --> 00:41:14,742
No.
707
00:41:14,775 --> 00:41:16,811
Astral projection
is an intentional
708
00:41:16,844 --> 00:41:18,712
out of body experience.
709
00:41:19,246 --> 00:41:22,817
Sometimes,
when we sleep,
710
00:41:22,850 --> 00:41:25,386
our consciousness
leaves our body
711
00:41:25,419 --> 00:41:28,222
to go live in
a rich dream world on its own,
712
00:41:28,255 --> 00:41:30,491
detaching from the body.
713
00:41:32,059 --> 00:41:34,261
Ancient civilizations
have been documenting this
714
00:41:34,295 --> 00:41:35,963
for thousands of centuries.
715
00:41:37,231 --> 00:41:39,400
You know those dreams
that you wake up from
716
00:41:39,433 --> 00:41:41,836
and you could swear
that there was something
717
00:41:41,869 --> 00:41:43,471
hauntingly real about them?
718
00:41:44,238 --> 00:41:47,208
It not only found like
a fully formed idea,
719
00:41:47,241 --> 00:41:49,677
but... but
a fully formed world.
720
00:41:52,279 --> 00:41:55,249
That feeling of falling
you get sometimes
721
00:41:55,282 --> 00:41:58,119
right before you drift off
happens totally by accident.
722
00:41:59,286 --> 00:42:02,423
That is what astral
projection is.
723
00:42:03,357 --> 00:42:06,093
Only instead of waiting
for it to happen by chance
724
00:42:06,127 --> 00:42:08,195
in a random dream,
725
00:42:08,229 --> 00:42:10,331
we can control it.
726
00:42:11,565 --> 00:42:14,034
We can manifest
the places we want to go to
727
00:42:14,068 --> 00:42:16,403
and leave our bodies
down below.
728
00:42:16,437 --> 00:42:18,405
So our consciousness
can travel
729
00:42:18,439 --> 00:42:20,741
through the spiritual planes.
730
00:42:20,774 --> 00:42:25,546
I know this sounds
absolutely crazy,
731
00:42:25,746 --> 00:42:27,781
but you have to believe me.
732
00:42:29,450 --> 00:42:31,185
I think we can
do it together, Beth.
733
00:42:32,253 --> 00:42:34,388
Last night,
I concentrated really hard
734
00:42:34,421 --> 00:42:35,823
on what your room looks like.
735
00:42:35,856 --> 00:42:38,726
The dimensions,
what you might feel like,
736
00:42:38,759 --> 00:42:39,994
your soft skin.
737
00:42:40,027 --> 00:42:42,563
I set an intention
to make it to you...
738
00:42:44,331 --> 00:42:45,566
and somehow it worked.
739
00:42:46,834 --> 00:42:48,335
I was in your room.
740
00:42:51,005 --> 00:42:53,507
I've never done this with
another person before.
741
00:42:54,808 --> 00:42:57,578
Beth,
we can get you there too.
742
00:42:59,380 --> 00:43:01,248
In the astral, we're free.
743
00:43:02,149 --> 00:43:03,784
I can dance with you.
744
00:43:03,817 --> 00:43:05,819
I can feel things.
745
00:43:05,853 --> 00:43:08,589
You'd be free of disease,
move without pain.
746
00:43:10,858 --> 00:43:12,126
I visited your dream
747
00:43:12,159 --> 00:43:14,528
because you gave me
permission to,
748
00:43:14,562 --> 00:43:16,530
but if you try to
astral project yourself
749
00:43:16,564 --> 00:43:19,033
and actually meet me there,
750
00:43:19,066 --> 00:43:21,168
you would be able to
participate with me.
751
00:43:22,036 --> 00:43:23,804
You wouldn't be half asleep
752
00:43:23,837 --> 00:43:25,640
and just waiting for
things to happen.
753
00:43:25,674 --> 00:43:27,875
You would be able to
control them with me.
754
00:43:30,211 --> 00:43:31,613
I use the rope method.
755
00:43:32,713 --> 00:43:34,548
You lie flat on your back
756
00:43:34,582 --> 00:43:37,885
and you visualize a rope
suspended from the ceiling.
757
00:43:37,918 --> 00:43:39,386
It comes down,
758
00:43:39,420 --> 00:43:41,355
and you pull yourself
out of your body.
759
00:43:42,056 --> 00:43:44,792
Now, your mind has to be clear.
760
00:43:44,825 --> 00:43:46,860
Focus on where you want to go,
761
00:43:46,894 --> 00:43:48,697
what and who you want to see.
762
00:43:49,763 --> 00:43:50,965
You'll feel vibration.
763
00:43:52,233 --> 00:43:53,635
You take that rope
when it's offered,
764
00:43:54,602 --> 00:43:55,704
and you climb out.
765
00:43:58,872 --> 00:44:02,076
I found astral projection
in my darkest hour,
766
00:44:02,109 --> 00:44:04,845
I was ready to
check out, honestly.
767
00:44:04,878 --> 00:44:05,946
I was close.
768
00:44:07,781 --> 00:44:08,882
When I discovered this...
769
00:44:10,884 --> 00:44:14,888
That was not
a magic carpet ride.
770
00:44:16,390 --> 00:44:17,825
I realized that
we were so much more
771
00:44:17,858 --> 00:44:19,426
than our physical composition.
772
00:44:19,460 --> 00:44:23,030
We could run, fly...
773
00:44:23,063 --> 00:44:24,131
make love.
774
00:44:25,933 --> 00:44:27,835
God...
775
00:44:27,868 --> 00:44:29,503
Beth.
776
00:44:33,107 --> 00:44:34,743
We are simply souls
777
00:44:34,775 --> 00:44:36,844
floating by the sea of night
in the ether
778
00:44:36,877 --> 00:44:38,846
and we have the ability
to become
779
00:44:38,879 --> 00:44:41,115
more compassionate
and perceptive to
780
00:44:41,148 --> 00:44:43,784
the worlds and the people
that surround us.
781
00:44:45,919 --> 00:44:48,322
Life is just a story that
we tell ourselves, right?
782
00:44:50,291 --> 00:44:51,693
I want you to feel
what I feel.
783
00:44:54,094 --> 00:44:55,929
To have agency over your body.
784
00:44:57,164 --> 00:44:59,199
It doesn't always work
so well sometimes.
785
00:45:15,916 --> 00:45:17,051
Hey, Mom.
786
00:45:20,020 --> 00:45:21,288
Hey, Dad.
787
00:45:23,023 --> 00:45:24,391
I can't sleep.
788
00:45:25,760 --> 00:45:27,729
Nothing new there, huh?
789
00:45:38,606 --> 00:45:39,907
I met someone, a man.
790
00:45:42,209 --> 00:45:45,279
And I love him,
and, uh...
791
00:45:45,312 --> 00:45:46,781
I guess that's why
I'm trying to
792
00:45:46,815 --> 00:45:48,449
talk to you guys now,
like I'm supposed to.
793
00:45:48,482 --> 00:45:49,784
I'm supposed to
talk to you guys,
794
00:45:49,818 --> 00:45:50,951
I'm supposed to talk
about these things,
795
00:45:50,984 --> 00:45:53,053
hash these things out.
and, uh...
796
00:45:55,155 --> 00:45:56,357
Did you know?
797
00:45:59,828 --> 00:46:00,894
Did you know?
798
00:46:03,497 --> 00:46:05,165
'Cause I think you knew.
799
00:46:05,199 --> 00:46:07,669
I think that deep down
somewhere in there, you knew.
800
00:46:07,702 --> 00:46:09,604
You knew...
801
00:46:09,637 --> 00:46:11,505
what was happening with
the next door neighbor.
802
00:46:11,538 --> 00:46:12,607
I think you knew.
803
00:46:14,475 --> 00:46:16,778
And you sent me like
a lamb to the slaughter.
804
00:46:21,315 --> 00:46:22,383
Did you know?
805
00:46:24,551 --> 00:46:25,787
Did you know?
806
00:46:33,695 --> 00:46:34,796
Did you know?
807
00:46:54,783 --> 00:46:56,049
So...
808
00:46:57,518 --> 00:46:59,888
I get to Rhode Island
809
00:46:59,920 --> 00:47:03,090
and I find you there...
810
00:47:03,123 --> 00:47:05,860
and you are...
811
00:47:05,894 --> 00:47:07,161
waiting for me.
812
00:47:08,028 --> 00:47:09,096
Yeah.
813
00:47:10,632 --> 00:47:12,667
And I get up close...
814
00:47:13,367 --> 00:47:15,602
and I let you kiss me...
815
00:47:16,805 --> 00:47:18,338
and I kiss you back.
816
00:47:18,372 --> 00:47:21,108
Yeah.
817
00:47:21,141 --> 00:47:22,943
And then...
818
00:47:22,976 --> 00:47:25,680
I'm gonna get
up on top of you, okay?
819
00:47:26,079 --> 00:47:27,749
- Uh-huh.
- And I'm gonna
820
00:47:27,782 --> 00:47:31,251
wrap my legs around you
in your chair,
821
00:47:31,285 --> 00:47:33,454
and then I'm gonna move in,
822
00:47:33,487 --> 00:47:37,024
and then...
823
00:47:37,057 --> 00:47:38,358
I...
824
00:47:39,928 --> 00:47:41,863
But I have to...
I... I just, um...
825
00:47:41,896 --> 00:47:43,865
I feel like I'm being
dishonest with you.
826
00:47:45,499 --> 00:47:47,100
Um...
827
00:47:47,134 --> 00:47:50,304
I haven't really figured out
how to tell you this.
828
00:47:50,337 --> 00:47:52,372
This is not
the right time, clearly,
829
00:47:52,406 --> 00:47:54,776
but, um, I have to
just say this.
830
00:47:55,175 --> 00:47:56,276
Um...
831
00:47:59,848 --> 00:48:02,750
I was raped by my...
by my neighbor,
832
00:48:02,784 --> 00:48:04,619
by my next door neighbor,
833
00:48:04,652 --> 00:48:09,624
um, when I was 11
until I was about 15.
834
00:48:09,657 --> 00:48:13,628
And, um... But...
But I thought that...
835
00:48:13,661 --> 00:48:15,830
I kind of thought we were in
a relationship at the time.
836
00:48:15,864 --> 00:48:18,565
I thought he was my boyfriend,
but he was an adult.
837
00:48:18,599 --> 00:48:20,267
And it's like...
There was nobody there.
838
00:48:20,300 --> 00:48:23,303
No one gave a shit,
I don't know.
839
00:48:23,337 --> 00:48:25,940
I... I didn't realize that
I wasn't in control of it.
840
00:48:25,974 --> 00:48:29,476
And so then I just kind of
stopped doing anything altogether.
841
00:48:29,510 --> 00:48:32,446
And now I just kinda don't
know what the fuck I'm doing.
842
00:48:32,479 --> 00:48:34,983
And I don't know...
I don't know how to feel good.
843
00:48:35,015 --> 00:48:37,017
And I don't know how
to make you feel good.
844
00:48:37,050 --> 00:48:38,753
And I don't know how to...
I don't know...
845
00:48:38,786 --> 00:48:41,956
I just don't know how to do
this emotional sexual intimacy.
846
00:48:41,990 --> 00:48:43,758
I get...
I get it, I get it.
847
00:48:44,024 --> 00:48:46,293
You... You don't have to
go any further.
848
00:48:46,326 --> 00:48:47,729
I, uh...
849
00:48:51,131 --> 00:48:52,266
Beth, um...
850
00:48:53,635 --> 00:48:56,871
First off, I'm sor...
I'm sorry that you had to
851
00:48:56,905 --> 00:48:58,105
experience that.
852
00:48:59,908 --> 00:49:01,009
Fuck!
853
00:49:02,543 --> 00:49:03,611
That's fucked.
854
00:49:05,479 --> 00:49:09,049
Uh, and thank you for
your honesty.
855
00:49:11,719 --> 00:49:13,520
I know that that's...
856
00:49:15,055 --> 00:49:18,058
I can't imagine that
that's easy to...
857
00:49:18,091 --> 00:49:20,028
to have lived with
up until this point
858
00:49:20,060 --> 00:49:22,997
and to even sit here
and... and tell...
859
00:49:23,031 --> 00:49:24,398
tell somebody.
860
00:49:24,431 --> 00:49:26,034
- So...
- It's just not sexy.
861
00:49:26,066 --> 00:49:27,902
It's like we're trying to
do all these sexy things
862
00:49:27,936 --> 00:49:30,905
and I'm just...
I'm in my head,
863
00:49:30,939 --> 00:49:33,007
and I can't stop
thinking about it and I...
864
00:49:33,041 --> 00:49:35,208
It makes sense,
it makes sense.
865
00:49:35,242 --> 00:49:37,645
I mean, it makes sense that
you would be in your head
866
00:49:37,679 --> 00:49:40,280
Fuck. I mean,
something that traumatic.
867
00:49:41,548 --> 00:49:43,250
I get it, I get it.
868
00:49:43,283 --> 00:49:45,687
And I... I...
I appreciate you,
869
00:49:45,720 --> 00:49:47,922
you know,
trying to go there with me,
870
00:49:47,956 --> 00:49:49,389
but I don't...
I don't want...
871
00:49:49,423 --> 00:49:52,225
I just... I want you
to be comfortable with me
872
00:49:52,259 --> 00:49:54,261
and to be y...
to be real.
873
00:49:54,294 --> 00:49:58,733
Be that... that person that is
comfortable with with yourself
874
00:49:58,766 --> 00:50:00,034
and just... Fuck.
875
00:50:00,068 --> 00:50:02,235
If it's just...
If this is what we have,
876
00:50:02,269 --> 00:50:05,907
if it's just talking with
each other, that's...
877
00:50:06,941 --> 00:50:08,009
It's fine.
878
00:50:09,077 --> 00:50:11,111
I'll see you in the astral.
879
00:50:11,144 --> 00:50:13,180
I don't know, man,
I mean, yeah,
880
00:50:13,213 --> 00:50:14,949
you can come visit
me in the astral
881
00:50:14,983 --> 00:50:16,283
and that's wonderful for me.
882
00:50:16,316 --> 00:50:18,953
I mean, Jesus,
that's done more for me
883
00:50:18,987 --> 00:50:22,356
than I think you'll
ever really understand,
884
00:50:22,389 --> 00:50:24,092
um, but I can't
participate with you.
885
00:50:24,124 --> 00:50:25,927
I'm not...
I can't get there myself,
886
00:50:25,960 --> 00:50:27,629
and I don't think
I ever will be able to.
887
00:50:27,662 --> 00:50:29,196
We keep trying,
888
00:50:29,229 --> 00:50:31,933
and I keep falling off my bed
and freaking out,
889
00:50:31,966 --> 00:50:33,567
and I can't...
I can't do it.
890
00:50:33,600 --> 00:50:36,104
I don't know if I'm ever
gonna be able to do it.
891
00:50:36,136 --> 00:50:37,939
Listen, it's all right,
it's all right.
892
00:50:37,972 --> 00:50:39,306
We... We will get you there.
893
00:50:39,339 --> 00:50:41,375
You will get there,
Beth, I promise.
894
00:50:43,978 --> 00:50:47,048
I just... I'm sad a lot
and this is just really, um...
895
00:50:49,282 --> 00:50:51,551
It's bumming me out,
I guess, a little bit.
896
00:50:52,152 --> 00:50:54,287
Well, if it's any consolation,
897
00:50:54,321 --> 00:50:56,556
I don't have a fucking clue
what I'm doing.
898
00:50:59,093 --> 00:51:01,129
But you look like it.
Look at you.
899
00:51:01,161 --> 00:51:03,163
You're like a sex god,
you're just...
900
00:51:03,196 --> 00:51:04,799
I just want to eat you up.
901
00:54:56,931 --> 00:54:58,199
Stop it.
902
00:55:00,567 --> 00:55:03,070
Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.
903
00:55:05,907 --> 00:55:07,775
Stop calling me.
904
00:55:09,777 --> 00:55:11,578
Beth?
905
00:55:11,612 --> 00:55:12,914
What?
906
00:55:12,947 --> 00:55:14,581
Beth, oh, God.
907
00:55:14,615 --> 00:55:17,351
Beth I've been trying you.
I've been trying to call you,
908
00:55:17,385 --> 00:55:18,719
and I haven't heard from you.
909
00:55:18,753 --> 00:55:20,254
Are you there?
Are you okay?
910
00:55:20,288 --> 00:55:22,323
We've missed several
appointments.
911
00:55:22,356 --> 00:55:23,391
Oh, shit!
912
00:55:23,456 --> 00:55:25,259
Um...
913
00:55:25,293 --> 00:55:27,494
yes, I'm good.
914
00:55:27,527 --> 00:55:29,063
Um, I'm sorry,
I meant to hang up.
915
00:55:29,096 --> 00:55:31,666
I didn't mean to
pick up, um, I'm sleepy.
916
00:55:31,699 --> 00:55:32,967
What's going on?
917
00:55:36,604 --> 00:55:38,906
How long have you
had that cough Beth?
918
00:55:44,111 --> 00:55:47,949
Will you just, like,
calm down please?
919
00:55:47,982 --> 00:55:50,785
Your energy is just,
like, it's like...
920
00:55:50,818 --> 00:55:52,787
- Ugh, it's so hot in here.
- What are those?
921
00:55:52,820 --> 00:55:54,288
- Are th-
- What?
922
00:55:54,322 --> 00:55:56,223
What are those lesions
923
00:55:56,257 --> 00:55:58,092
on your neck and chest?
924
00:56:00,094 --> 00:56:01,162
Beth.
925
00:56:02,430 --> 00:56:04,198
- What do you...
- Are those Bartonella rashes
926
00:56:04,231 --> 00:56:05,700
that I'm seeing on
the camera?
927
00:56:05,733 --> 00:56:08,202
Um...
928
00:56:08,235 --> 00:56:11,639
no, I don't think
they're Bart... um...
929
00:56:12,640 --> 00:56:14,275
They look like lesions, Beth.
930
00:56:14,308 --> 00:56:15,575
Oh, my God.
931
00:56:15,609 --> 00:56:17,544
Oh, my God, no.
932
00:56:23,985 --> 00:56:25,052
It's not a rash.
933
00:56:25,086 --> 00:56:26,787
Oh my God,
Dr. Kensington,
934
00:56:26,821 --> 00:56:28,289
this is not a rush.
935
00:56:28,322 --> 00:56:29,991
Do you see this?
936
00:56:30,024 --> 00:56:31,292
This is proof.
937
00:56:31,325 --> 00:56:33,394
They're hickey's.
They're hickeys!
938
00:56:33,461 --> 00:56:35,963
- Oh, my God!
- Is someone there with you?
939
00:56:35,997 --> 00:56:38,165
Yeah, well,
sometimes, sometimes.
940
00:56:38,199 --> 00:56:39,767
You remember my...
my boyfriend,
941
00:56:39,800 --> 00:56:41,335
my boyfriend,
the guy, Eddie?
942
00:56:41,369 --> 00:56:43,604
So we started doing
this astral projection
943
00:56:43,637 --> 00:56:45,505
and I wasn't able to do it
for like the longest time.
944
00:56:45,538 --> 00:56:47,108
And I didn't think I was
gonna be able to do it
945
00:56:47,141 --> 00:56:48,309
because I've been
so traumatized
946
00:56:48,342 --> 00:56:49,610
and apparently,
I can't meditate,
947
00:56:49,643 --> 00:56:51,578
but apparently...
apparently I'm over it
948
00:56:51,612 --> 00:56:54,648
because we...
we had sex last night.
949
00:56:54,682 --> 00:56:55,950
We had sex.
950
00:56:55,983 --> 00:56:58,853
We had sex in the astral.
951
00:56:58,886 --> 00:57:01,455
We astral planed,
we projected.
952
00:57:01,489 --> 00:57:03,691
We projected to
a plane above ours.
953
00:57:03,724 --> 00:57:05,926
It was amazing!
I could move.
954
00:57:05,960 --> 00:57:07,495
I could move my entire body.
955
00:57:07,527 --> 00:57:09,463
I was moving back
and forth, I was...
956
00:57:09,497 --> 00:57:10,631
My hips were doing things
I didn't even think
957
00:57:10,664 --> 00:57:12,633
it was possible to do.
958
00:57:12,666 --> 00:57:13,868
I just...
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
959
00:57:13,901 --> 00:57:15,302
I know this sounds
really crazy...
960
00:57:15,336 --> 00:57:18,672
- Beth...
- But I love him so much!
961
00:57:18,706 --> 00:57:21,008
Please, I need you to
listen to me very carefully.
962
00:57:22,710 --> 00:57:25,513
As your doctor,
as a medical professional,
963
00:57:25,545 --> 00:57:27,048
and as you're my friend...
964
00:57:27,081 --> 00:57:29,183
You're my friend?
965
00:57:30,684 --> 00:57:31,952
I want you to listen to me.
966
00:57:33,421 --> 00:57:35,056
I think that it's time
that we consider
967
00:57:35,089 --> 00:57:36,991
some other alternatives,
968
00:57:37,024 --> 00:57:40,061
including bringing in
a psychiatrist.
969
00:57:41,695 --> 00:57:44,532
I need you to understand
how dangerous a position
970
00:57:44,564 --> 00:57:46,200
that you're in right now.
971
00:57:46,233 --> 00:57:48,536
You should be happy.
972
00:57:48,568 --> 00:57:50,838
I'm getting laid, finally!
973
00:57:52,572 --> 00:57:54,208
I thought that you had died.
974
00:57:57,278 --> 00:57:58,913
It is... It is...
It is shocking to me
975
00:57:58,946 --> 00:58:00,081
that you would throw away
our progress.
976
00:58:00,114 --> 00:58:01,682
You know me, Beth.
977
00:58:01,715 --> 00:58:03,684
You know... Well, you know
what we've been together
978
00:58:03,717 --> 00:58:06,387
and how we've worked together
to fight this terrible disease.
979
00:58:06,420 --> 00:58:08,588
And right now this disease
is overtaking your body
980
00:58:08,622 --> 00:58:10,357
and overtaking her mind,
981
00:58:10,391 --> 00:58:12,560
and I think we need to change
our treatment plan, okay?
982
00:58:12,592 --> 00:58:14,695
- I'm listening.
- You're not being yourself.
983
00:58:14,728 --> 00:58:17,331
- And I think the best thing for us...
- No, I am being myself.
984
00:58:17,364 --> 00:58:19,233
- Is to make a pivot...
- No, no...
985
00:58:19,266 --> 00:58:21,502
- And look at some other psychiatric
options--This is who I am.
986
00:58:21,535 --> 00:58:23,737
Dr. Kensington, you don't understand.
I'm not some good girl.
987
00:58:23,771 --> 00:58:27,541
I'm not some studious,
open the book, do what I'm told.
988
00:58:27,575 --> 00:58:30,578
I'm finally alive
and I am gonna follow that.
989
00:58:30,611 --> 00:58:33,047
I'm gonna follow that.
I know it sounds crazy.
990
00:58:33,080 --> 00:58:34,715
I don't even care,
I don't care, I don't care.
991
00:58:34,748 --> 00:58:36,517
I'm not going to some
fucking mental institution.
992
00:58:36,550 --> 00:58:38,752
I'm not gonna go to...
And you know what?
993
00:58:38,786 --> 00:58:40,287
I love you, I love you,
you're so pretty,
994
00:58:40,321 --> 00:58:41,622
and you're so good at your job,
995
00:58:41,655 --> 00:58:43,190
and I just love
everything about you.
996
00:58:43,224 --> 00:58:44,758
That's not what
I need from you, I...
997
00:58:44,792 --> 00:58:47,294
But I think our time...
I think our time is past.
998
00:58:47,328 --> 00:58:49,029
- I think that we're over...
- No, no, no.
999
00:58:49,063 --> 00:58:50,431
I have to go.
1000
00:58:50,464 --> 00:58:51,866
I need you to listen to me.
1001
00:58:51,899 --> 00:58:53,267
- I have to go, bye.
- I need you to trust me.
1002
00:58:53,300 --> 00:58:55,536
Goodbye, goodbye!
1003
00:59:11,152 --> 00:59:12,186
Yes!
1004
00:59:13,154 --> 00:59:14,522
Ha, ha!
1005
00:59:28,135 --> 00:59:29,270
There's a house on a street
1006
00:59:29,303 --> 00:59:32,173
- by the sea.
- By the sea.
1007
00:59:32,206 --> 00:59:34,775
With faded blue shingles,
weathered to gray.
1008
00:59:34,808 --> 00:59:36,810
It's lights burning bright,
1009
00:59:36,844 --> 00:59:39,346
- but never for me.
- But never for me.
1010
00:59:40,014 --> 00:59:42,516
- Ready to be wowed?
- You're gonna show me... Yeah.
1011
00:59:47,121 --> 00:59:49,658
- Watch!
- Wow.
1012
00:59:56,397 --> 01:00:00,034
Whoever wins the fourth card
gets all those cards.
1013
01:00:00,067 --> 01:00:01,535
Fuck!
1014
01:00:01,569 --> 01:00:02,770
Shit!
1015
01:00:04,805 --> 01:00:06,040
What was your father like?
1016
01:00:08,309 --> 01:00:10,377
He was a good man.
1017
01:00:10,411 --> 01:00:12,947
He was Canadian.
1018
01:00:12,980 --> 01:00:15,716
He always told me growing up,
if things got real bad here,
1019
01:00:15,749 --> 01:00:17,885
I should claim my
birthright up north.
1020
01:00:21,690 --> 01:00:23,625
If things get worse,
I might have to.
1021
01:00:26,695 --> 01:00:28,362
You want to come with me
to Canada
1022
01:00:28,395 --> 01:00:29,631
at the end of the world?
1023
01:00:31,532 --> 01:00:32,634
I'll be there.
1024
01:00:39,873 --> 01:00:41,375
Do you ever get scared?
1025
01:00:42,243 --> 01:00:44,646
You know, the virus?
1026
01:00:47,014 --> 01:00:49,917
Yeah. All the time.
1027
01:00:51,518 --> 01:00:52,621
It doesn't stop.
1028
01:00:53,587 --> 01:00:56,557
I want... deep dish.
1029
01:00:56,590 --> 01:00:59,193
You know?
You ever had deep dish?
1030
01:00:59,226 --> 01:01:00,294
How deep?
1031
01:01:11,038 --> 01:01:12,106
I got you.
1032
01:01:14,208 --> 01:01:16,243
- Are you kidding me?
- Oh!
1033
01:01:16,277 --> 01:01:18,279
Ooh! I gotta you!
1034
01:01:18,312 --> 01:01:19,780
That's what I mean
when you can't...
1035
01:01:19,813 --> 01:01:22,049
You can't fuck with this.
Fuckin' won it all.
1036
01:01:22,082 --> 01:01:24,451
Fuckin' queen of
the cards. Boom!
1037
01:01:27,656 --> 01:01:28,922
What was
your mother like?
1038
01:01:30,291 --> 01:01:33,695
Bury your brightness,
my shiny sweet pea.
1039
01:01:35,329 --> 01:01:36,765
I can't talk about my mother.
1040
01:01:41,302 --> 01:01:43,871
Would you like to see my boob?
How about that?
1041
01:01:48,677 --> 01:01:50,311
When you were a kid,
1042
01:01:50,344 --> 01:01:52,513
did you think
it would be like this?
1043
01:02:01,088 --> 01:02:02,890
I thought
it'd be worse.
1044
01:02:06,493 --> 01:02:08,862
We're so far away
from each other, Beth.
1045
01:02:12,767 --> 01:02:13,768
Why don't we just
stay up here
1046
01:02:13,802 --> 01:02:15,002
a little while longer?
1047
01:02:18,872 --> 01:02:19,973
I love you.
1048
01:02:40,662 --> 01:02:42,664
It's your
long lost friend.
1049
01:02:42,697 --> 01:02:46,367
The same friend that missed
going to the Tony Awards Live
1050
01:02:46,400 --> 01:02:48,569
because you broke
your fucking ankle.
1051
01:02:48,602 --> 01:02:50,571
Remember that?
Wasn't that fun?
1052
01:02:50,605 --> 01:02:53,140
Maybe you can
call me back now. Okay.
1053
01:02:59,413 --> 01:03:01,081
Hey Beth,
1054
01:03:01,115 --> 01:03:03,384
I know that we're not
seeing each other anymore,
1055
01:03:03,417 --> 01:03:07,756
but this is a friendly reminder
to do your exercises today.
1056
01:03:07,789 --> 01:03:11,558
Take care of yourself, Beth.
It works if you work it.
1057
01:03:11,592 --> 01:03:15,062
I saw this woman with really big sunglasses today
1058
01:03:15,095 --> 01:03:18,198
and it made me think of the time
that you stabbed yourself in the eye.
1059
01:03:18,232 --> 01:03:20,367
That was such
a good time.
1060
01:03:20,401 --> 01:03:22,369
Um...But call me back
1061
01:03:22,403 --> 01:03:24,071
and we can talk about it.
1062
01:03:24,104 --> 01:03:27,307
Hey, Eddie.
Oh, my God, last night.
1063
01:03:28,610 --> 01:03:31,679
Anyway, I... I tried to
video call you today
1064
01:03:31,713 --> 01:03:33,480
and you weren't online
1065
01:03:33,514 --> 01:03:35,282
and all of my texts are
saying they're not delivered.
1066
01:03:35,315 --> 01:03:36,950
I guess I'm
a little bit worried.
1067
01:03:36,984 --> 01:03:39,621
Give me a call back.
I love you. Bye.
1068
01:05:02,971 --> 01:05:05,339
Eddie. Eddie.
1069
01:05:14,281 --> 01:05:15,717
Pick up.
1070
01:05:16,885 --> 01:05:19,520
Please pick up.
1071
01:05:31,465 --> 01:05:33,200
Okay, okay, okay.
1072
01:05:33,233 --> 01:05:38,205
Ow, ow, ow.
1073
01:05:38,238 --> 01:05:40,507
Okay. Okay.
1074
01:05:41,074 --> 01:05:42,175
Okay.
1075
01:06:12,272 --> 01:06:14,474
Hey, Eddie.
1076
01:06:14,508 --> 01:06:16,911
It's me, um,
just checking in.
1077
01:06:18,780 --> 01:06:20,748
I, um...
1078
01:06:20,782 --> 01:06:23,083
I fell and I hurt myself
pretty bad,
1079
01:06:23,116 --> 01:06:26,721
and, uh, I guess I'm
a little freaked out.
1080
01:06:27,622 --> 01:06:29,958
I've never lost time like that
1081
01:06:29,991 --> 01:06:32,593
and, um...
I don't know,
1082
01:06:32,627 --> 01:06:35,596
maybe it's time I start, uh,
listening to my doctor.
1083
01:06:35,630 --> 01:06:39,801
Maybe it's time I actually
start doing this work.
1084
01:06:40,835 --> 01:06:42,637
Um...
1085
01:06:42,670 --> 01:06:46,206
so I guess I just
wanted to say hi,
1086
01:06:46,239 --> 01:06:49,010
and, uh...
1087
01:06:49,043 --> 01:06:51,879
just let you know that
I'm, uh...
1088
01:06:51,913 --> 01:06:53,982
I'm... I'm doing better,
1089
01:06:54,015 --> 01:06:55,582
I'm feeling better,
I'm feeling stronger
1090
01:06:55,617 --> 01:06:57,652
and, um...
1091
01:06:57,685 --> 01:07:00,989
I really miss you,
and, uh...
1092
01:07:01,789 --> 01:07:04,025
if this is...
if this is it,
1093
01:07:04,058 --> 01:07:06,393
I... I don't know
what happened.
1094
01:07:06,426 --> 01:07:08,161
I don't know...
1095
01:07:08,195 --> 01:07:10,497
I don't know what's
going on with you,
1096
01:07:10,530 --> 01:07:12,834
but, uh, if this is it,
1097
01:07:12,867 --> 01:07:16,169
I just want you to know
that I love you a lot,
1098
01:07:16,203 --> 01:07:18,438
and I'm really grateful
to have met you.
1099
01:07:24,879 --> 01:07:27,147
Turn that heat up
to make a personal sauna,
1100
01:07:27,180 --> 01:07:29,282
to sweat your toxins out.
1101
01:07:29,316 --> 01:07:31,853
It's easy and
you can do it at home.
1102
01:07:31,886 --> 01:07:35,023
Did you know that your skin
is your biggest organ?
1103
01:07:35,056 --> 01:07:38,358
If you're feeling sluggish or if you
just want to boost your immune system
1104
01:07:38,392 --> 01:07:40,695
in these frightening times
we're living in,
1105
01:07:40,728 --> 01:07:43,330
you need to sweat out all
the things that bog you down.
1106
01:07:43,363 --> 01:07:46,466
It's time to detox, girl.
You'll be so glad you did.
1107
01:08:14,528 --> 01:08:18,132
Hi. Hi, where...
where were you?
1108
01:08:18,166 --> 01:08:20,267
I was so worried.
You're...
1109
01:08:21,636 --> 01:08:25,205
Oh, God. What's wrong?
What happened?
1110
01:08:27,374 --> 01:08:28,910
My mother's dead.
1111
01:08:33,480 --> 01:08:35,049
She died.
1112
01:08:36,416 --> 01:08:37,517
I've been drinking.
1113
01:08:39,586 --> 01:08:40,688
Oh.
1114
01:08:45,425 --> 01:08:47,294
They came over in these...
1115
01:08:47,327 --> 01:08:48,730
these hazmat suits.
1116
01:08:50,665 --> 01:08:53,233
Fucking hazmat suits.
They came over,
1117
01:08:53,266 --> 01:08:56,003
and they told me I had to
go into another room.
1118
01:08:56,037 --> 01:08:58,139
They... They plastic off,
you know,
1119
01:08:58,172 --> 01:09:01,142
all plastic all over
all the doors and the kitchen.
1120
01:09:01,175 --> 01:09:02,744
And then I wasn't able to...
1121
01:09:02,777 --> 01:09:05,079
I couldn't even see them
take her out.
1122
01:09:05,113 --> 01:09:06,914
They put her in a bag
and they took her
1123
01:09:06,948 --> 01:09:08,816
and they told me,
unfortunately,
1124
01:09:08,850 --> 01:09:12,053
they have to burn the body
because of this virus
1125
01:09:12,086 --> 01:09:13,921
and that they can't risk it.
1126
01:09:13,955 --> 01:09:15,522
They can't put...
1127
01:09:15,555 --> 01:09:17,658
They can't put her in
a place where this...
1128
01:09:18,592 --> 01:09:20,560
That they were gonna
cremate her.
1129
01:09:21,461 --> 01:09:24,165
That's it. It's just
fuckin' burn her up.
1130
01:09:25,733 --> 01:09:27,835
I can't... I can't even have
a fucking funeral.
1131
01:09:27,869 --> 01:09:30,537
They're gonna burn her up.
That's what they told on me.
1132
01:09:30,570 --> 01:09:32,506
It's not like we got
family or anything.
1133
01:09:32,539 --> 01:09:34,307
I mean, it was just...
1134
01:09:36,276 --> 01:09:38,179
It was just her and I.
1135
01:09:38,246 --> 01:09:40,447
I know it's really
fucked up right now,
1136
01:09:40,480 --> 01:09:42,349
and I don't know,
really know what to say
1137
01:09:42,382 --> 01:09:44,719
that isn't gonna...
1138
01:09:44,752 --> 01:09:46,553
sound like some kind of...
1139
01:09:46,586 --> 01:09:49,157
manufactured
Hallmark greeting.
1140
01:09:51,993 --> 01:09:53,426
I just need...
1141
01:09:54,095 --> 01:09:56,363
I need for you to feel it
1142
01:09:56,396 --> 01:09:58,598
because I know that that's
what the drinking was.
1143
01:09:58,633 --> 01:10:01,601
You were... You were
trying not to feel.
1144
01:10:01,636 --> 01:10:04,105
That's...
1145
01:10:04,138 --> 01:10:06,040
something I think that's
pretty natural to feel,
1146
01:10:06,073 --> 01:10:07,440
you don't want to feel this.
1147
01:10:07,474 --> 01:10:09,710
It's the most horrible
feeling in the world.
1148
01:10:12,579 --> 01:10:14,882
But I want to thank you
for reaching out to me.
1149
01:10:15,917 --> 01:10:18,786
Um, and I don't want you
to feel ashamed,
1150
01:10:18,820 --> 01:10:21,122
but I do need
for you to feel it.
1151
01:10:21,155 --> 01:10:23,291
And you can feel it.
You can feel it here with me.
1152
01:10:23,323 --> 01:10:24,992
I'm gonna feel it
right along with you.
1153
01:10:25,993 --> 01:10:29,596
And you do have something
to live for. All right?
1154
01:10:29,630 --> 01:10:31,299
And...
1155
01:10:31,331 --> 01:10:34,202
you can't disappear like that
again on me, all right?
1156
01:10:36,369 --> 01:10:38,438
- I promise.
- You can't do that.
1157
01:10:38,471 --> 01:10:40,975
I was so ashamed, I...
1158
01:10:41,008 --> 01:10:42,643
But you don't
have to be ashamed.
1159
01:10:47,014 --> 01:10:48,348
Can you come here?
1160
01:10:52,053 --> 01:10:54,322
Can... Can you...
1161
01:10:54,354 --> 01:10:56,157
Can you come here
to Rhode Island?
1162
01:10:56,190 --> 01:10:59,492
Can you... Can you
be here with me?
1163
01:10:59,526 --> 01:11:02,263
I... I need you.
1164
01:11:03,463 --> 01:11:06,133
Can you get here physically,
can you come to me?
1165
01:11:06,167 --> 01:11:08,302
Yeah. Yeah.
1166
01:11:08,336 --> 01:11:11,105
I mean, I... I can't, um...
1167
01:11:11,706 --> 01:11:13,506
I can't fly, uh,
1168
01:11:13,540 --> 01:11:15,375
that'd be
too dangerous for me, um...
1169
01:11:15,408 --> 01:11:17,311
Yeah, no, no, no you can't.
1170
01:11:17,345 --> 01:11:19,546
But... But... But I can drive,
I can drive.
1171
01:11:19,579 --> 01:11:21,782
I mean, I could...
I could leave tonight.
1172
01:11:21,816 --> 01:11:24,384
I will literally pack a bag
right now and I will come.
1173
01:11:24,417 --> 01:11:25,987
- You can drive here?
- Yes, I can dr...
1174
01:11:26,020 --> 01:11:28,488
- You can come?
- Yes, yes, I've done it before.
1175
01:11:28,521 --> 01:11:29,991
I used to live on
the East Coast.
1176
01:11:30,024 --> 01:11:31,558
I've done this drive.
I know what it's...
1177
01:11:31,591 --> 01:11:33,895
I know what it takes and
I know the fastest routes.
1178
01:11:33,928 --> 01:11:36,797
I could literally
leave in the next hour.
1179
01:11:36,831 --> 01:11:38,565
I have the map, I have GPS.
1180
01:11:38,598 --> 01:11:40,801
I have a full tank of gas
and I have money.
1181
01:11:40,835 --> 01:11:44,138
I can get there to you.
Okay?
1182
01:11:44,171 --> 01:11:47,241
Let's do this. It's been long
enough and this is an emergency.
1183
01:11:47,275 --> 01:11:51,045
Wait, wait, Beth, Beth,
Beth. The borders are shut.
1184
01:11:51,679 --> 01:11:52,980
No, they're not.
1185
01:11:53,948 --> 01:11:55,216
What do you mean?
1186
01:11:56,549 --> 01:11:58,485
The borders,
the borders,
1187
01:11:58,518 --> 01:12:01,055
the borders to here are shut.
1188
01:12:01,088 --> 01:12:04,325
- How do you...
- They're patrolling the borders, I... I...
1189
01:12:06,794 --> 01:12:08,162
They can't do that.
1190
01:12:09,429 --> 01:12:12,333
That can't be true.
That's not American.
1191
01:12:14,201 --> 01:12:17,238
What? Are you serious?
1192
01:12:21,574 --> 01:12:23,678
I can't... I can't get...
I can't get out of here.
1193
01:12:23,711 --> 01:12:25,413
I couldn't even...
I couldn't come see you,
1194
01:12:25,445 --> 01:12:27,514
even if I could
get out of here.
1195
01:12:27,547 --> 01:12:29,684
I couldn't... I couldn't see you
because the bor...
1196
01:12:29,717 --> 01:12:31,719
- I'll drive past it.
- I couldn't get to California.
1197
01:12:31,752 --> 01:12:33,387
I'll get a ticket.
They can arrest me.
1198
01:12:33,421 --> 01:12:35,522
I'm gonna wear a fucking mask.
I'm gonna wear gloves.
1199
01:12:35,555 --> 01:12:38,759
I'm gonna wear a face shield
and I will bust past it.
1200
01:12:39,961 --> 01:12:41,494
They can't stop me.
1201
01:12:42,296 --> 01:12:43,798
What are they gonna do?
Are they gonna arrest me?
1202
01:12:47,101 --> 01:12:49,203
- Eddie?
- I don't know, I don't... I don't know.
1203
01:12:49,236 --> 01:12:51,305
I mean, if it's
the National Guard,
1204
01:12:51,339 --> 01:12:53,540
if it's...
I mean, what are they...
1205
01:12:53,573 --> 01:12:55,542
I don't know.
They're keeping people out.
1206
01:12:55,575 --> 01:12:57,144
Could they fire on you?
I don't know.
1207
01:12:57,178 --> 01:12:59,213
I can't risk...
I can't risk that.
1208
01:13:00,147 --> 01:13:04,385
I can't... Fuck!
I can't risk that.
1209
01:13:04,685 --> 01:13:07,321
I can't risk you coming
here and having...
1210
01:13:08,789 --> 01:13:10,590
It wouldn't be safe for
you to travel alone,
1211
01:13:10,624 --> 01:13:12,626
Having to go through
borders to get here,
1212
01:13:12,660 --> 01:13:14,228
if every border is shut down.
1213
01:13:17,798 --> 01:13:20,067
You can't come down here.
1214
01:13:20,101 --> 01:13:22,269
So what are we gonna do then,
though?
1215
01:13:22,303 --> 01:13:23,704
'Cause...
1216
01:13:24,672 --> 01:13:26,240
Then what? I...
1217
01:13:27,507 --> 01:13:29,176
What are...
1218
01:13:29,977 --> 01:13:32,747
Just wait it out?
Just keep waiting it out?
1219
01:13:33,714 --> 01:13:34,849
I can't...
1220
01:13:36,050 --> 01:13:37,685
Okay, that's what we'll do.
1221
01:13:37,718 --> 01:13:39,920
If that's what we have to do,
that's what we have to do.
1222
01:13:39,954 --> 01:13:41,588
We'll wait it out, then,
we'll wait it out.
1223
01:13:41,622 --> 01:13:44,524
It won't... They can't keep
the borders shut that long.
1224
01:13:44,557 --> 01:13:47,728
They... They can't, they can't.
They can't do that.
1225
01:13:48,496 --> 01:13:49,764
This won't last.
1226
01:13:49,797 --> 01:13:51,298
I just
want to get out of here.
1227
01:13:51,332 --> 01:13:53,600
I want to get out of here.
1228
01:13:53,634 --> 01:13:55,503
I don't want to be here anymore.
1229
01:13:55,535 --> 01:13:56,603
Okay.
1230
01:13:57,537 --> 01:13:59,306
I just want to get out,
I want to go.
1231
01:13:59,340 --> 01:14:01,541
I want to get away.
I gotta get out.
1232
01:14:02,376 --> 01:14:03,844
I mean, we need
a fresh start, right?
1233
01:14:03,878 --> 01:14:05,212
We need, we need to...
1234
01:14:06,647 --> 01:14:08,983
A fresh start, yeah,
where the air is clean,
1235
01:14:09,016 --> 01:14:10,718
somewhere away from...
1236
01:14:10,751 --> 01:14:13,454
away from cities
and all this...
1237
01:14:14,321 --> 01:14:17,691
Somewhere remote,
somewhere where we could...
1238
01:14:17,725 --> 01:14:21,028
where we could just be
you and me and we...
1239
01:14:21,062 --> 01:14:23,631
- I gotta get out.
- Okay.
1240
01:14:23,664 --> 01:14:25,232
I gotta
get out of here.
1241
01:14:25,266 --> 01:14:26,700
We'll... We'll do it,
we will.
1242
01:14:26,734 --> 01:14:29,003
We just have to wait
a little while longer.
1243
01:14:29,036 --> 01:14:31,539
But it won't be that long,
I promise.
1244
01:14:31,571 --> 01:14:33,741
I will be there, I promise.
1245
01:14:34,375 --> 01:14:35,543
I just don't know when.
1246
01:14:36,177 --> 01:14:38,312
I just need you here, Beth.
I need you with me.
1247
01:14:38,345 --> 01:14:40,214
I just want to be with you.
I just... I just...
1248
01:14:40,247 --> 01:14:41,882
I want to
get away from this.
1249
01:14:41,916 --> 01:14:45,386
And I want to be with you.
I just want to get out of here.
1250
01:14:45,419 --> 01:14:48,456
Just please, just hold on a
little while longer, all right?
1251
01:14:48,588 --> 01:14:49,924
We're gonna do this.
1252
01:14:49,957 --> 01:14:51,559
I don't know how,
but we're gonna do this.
1253
01:14:54,228 --> 01:14:57,565
Okay, so, um...
1254
01:14:57,597 --> 01:14:59,233
what do you...
what do you think about, uh...
1255
01:15:03,971 --> 01:15:05,973
Everybody deserves a funeral.
1256
01:15:31,899 --> 01:15:34,034
Grow safe in the dark.
1257
01:15:34,068 --> 01:15:35,536
Let feelings fly free.
1258
01:15:36,770 --> 01:15:38,873
Where lights once burned bright,
1259
01:15:38,906 --> 01:15:39,974
but never for me.
1260
01:15:41,075 --> 01:15:42,409
At the house...
1261
01:15:42,443 --> 01:15:44,211
on the street by the sea.
1262
01:15:45,446 --> 01:15:48,883
What about
some of the stretches?
1263
01:15:48,916 --> 01:15:53,888
Have you... Have you been able
to sorta move a little?
1264
01:15:55,156 --> 01:15:58,259
Just little stretches,
like little...
1265
01:15:58,292 --> 01:16:00,629
just stretch your
deltoids and your...
1266
01:16:02,530 --> 01:16:04,064
I know it's not...
1267
01:16:05,933 --> 01:16:07,636
It's the blood flow.
1268
01:16:07,668 --> 01:16:11,606
Yeah, honestly, just... just
moving a little bit every day
1269
01:16:11,640 --> 01:16:13,642
makes such a difference
for your head.
1270
01:16:13,674 --> 01:16:16,477
I mean, honestly, I...
I used to not be one of those people,
1271
01:16:16,510 --> 01:16:18,647
but I... but I kind of get it
a little bit better now.
1272
01:16:18,679 --> 01:16:21,782
Just sort of, you know,
just stretching and just...
1273
01:16:21,815 --> 01:16:23,584
I don't know,
I just want you to
1274
01:16:23,618 --> 01:16:25,085
keep your circulation up.
1275
01:16:25,119 --> 01:16:27,955
We just gotta keep moving,
we just have to keep...
1276
01:16:27,988 --> 01:16:30,659
I know, I know it hurts.
1277
01:16:30,691 --> 01:16:33,194
I'm sure everything hurts.
I wish I was there.
1278
01:16:35,664 --> 01:16:37,431
Will you meet me
in the astral?
1279
01:16:39,500 --> 01:16:40,935
Um...
1280
01:16:40,968 --> 01:16:45,640
I need... I need an escape
from this right now.
1281
01:16:45,674 --> 01:16:47,775
I... I need... I need...
1282
01:16:47,808 --> 01:16:50,411
- And it's been a while.
- Yeah.
1283
01:16:50,711 --> 01:16:53,615
I could really use
some time.
1284
01:16:54,748 --> 01:16:58,352
Time to not... not really
be in my head down here.
1285
01:16:59,486 --> 01:17:01,155
Of course I will, um...
1286
01:17:01,188 --> 01:17:03,190
- I'll do that.
- You will?
1287
01:17:03,224 --> 01:17:04,858
Yeah, no, I want to,
I... I really... I want to.
1288
01:17:04,892 --> 01:17:06,160
It's been a long time
1289
01:17:06,193 --> 01:17:08,729
and I just want to
see you smile again.
1290
01:17:08,762 --> 01:17:09,863
So I just...
1291
01:17:11,265 --> 01:17:13,702
Yeah, I'll meet you there.
1292
01:17:13,734 --> 01:17:15,670
So where do you
want to go?
1293
01:18:16,830 --> 01:18:18,198
Beth?
1294
01:18:19,933 --> 01:18:21,468
Where are you?
1295
01:18:23,937 --> 01:18:25,806
Beth?
1296
01:18:25,839 --> 01:18:26,974
Can you here me?
1297
01:18:27,908 --> 01:18:29,443
I'm here.
1298
01:18:30,779 --> 01:18:31,979
Can't you see me?
1299
01:18:34,481 --> 01:18:37,652
You have to wake up now.
It's no good here.
1300
01:18:38,352 --> 01:18:41,922
Please. Beth,
open your eyes now.
1301
01:18:41,955 --> 01:18:44,626
Please, Beth,
open your eyes.
1302
01:18:45,092 --> 01:18:47,194
Beth? Beth,
where are you? Beth?
1303
01:18:47,227 --> 01:18:49,563
Come on, snap out of it, Beth?
1304
01:18:49,596 --> 01:18:51,932
Beth, come back to me,
I'm right here.
1305
01:18:51,965 --> 01:18:53,867
Follow my voice too get out.
1306
01:18:57,938 --> 01:18:59,006
I'm right here.
1307
01:19:01,375 --> 01:19:03,477
What was that?
What was that?
1308
01:19:03,510 --> 01:19:05,379
What? What?
1309
01:19:05,446 --> 01:19:07,114
Talk to me, talk to me.
What... What...
1310
01:19:07,147 --> 01:19:08,415
What were you talking about?
1311
01:19:09,684 --> 01:19:11,786
What was that?
1312
01:19:11,820 --> 01:19:13,755
- Are you okay?
- No.
1313
01:19:13,788 --> 01:19:16,990
I was in...
I saw... I saw...
1314
01:19:17,024 --> 01:19:19,026
- What is it?
- I was seeing things,
1315
01:19:19,059 --> 01:19:22,096
I was seeing some
really bad things.
1316
01:19:22,129 --> 01:19:24,498
There were... there were people...
there were people,
1317
01:19:24,531 --> 01:19:26,266
they were shouting,
there were shadows.
1318
01:19:26,300 --> 01:19:29,336
And it was... it was... it was...
it was... it was just darkness.
1319
01:19:29,370 --> 01:19:31,338
And there was blood
and I couldn't breathe.
1320
01:19:31,372 --> 01:19:34,709
And there was blood in my throat
and I was throwing it up.
1321
01:19:34,743 --> 01:19:36,944
I don't know where you were.
I could hear you,
1322
01:19:36,977 --> 01:19:38,680
but you weren't there.
1323
01:19:38,713 --> 01:19:41,348
I couldn't find you.
I couldn't find where you were.
1324
01:19:41,382 --> 01:19:44,017
I mean... Oh, God, Beth,
you're safe, you're safe,
1325
01:19:44,051 --> 01:19:45,953
you're here, you're here.
1326
01:19:45,986 --> 01:19:47,856
I was injured and I was...
there was...
1327
01:19:47,888 --> 01:19:50,157
there was so much blood
but then I got back
1328
01:19:50,190 --> 01:19:51,860
- and it was okay, and...
- I saw them.
1329
01:19:51,892 --> 01:19:53,527
I said I saw them too.
1330
01:19:54,528 --> 01:19:56,196
What's happening?
1331
01:19:56,230 --> 01:19:57,398
I was afraid of this.
1332
01:19:58,532 --> 01:20:00,467
I thought we had
pushed past it.
1333
01:20:00,501 --> 01:20:01,803
I was...
1334
01:20:02,436 --> 01:20:04,204
Pushed past what, Eddie?
1335
01:20:04,238 --> 01:20:05,874
There... There...
There are risks.
1336
01:20:05,906 --> 01:20:09,711
I thought that this was just
some fun meditation stuff.
1337
01:20:09,744 --> 01:20:12,881
I'm really confused
and I'm really scared.
1338
01:20:12,913 --> 01:20:14,816
I didn't...
I thought we were okay.
1339
01:20:16,083 --> 01:20:17,951
I thought we were okay.
1340
01:20:21,588 --> 01:20:23,090
Our mind...
1341
01:20:23,123 --> 01:20:24,759
Our mind wants our body back.
1342
01:20:28,028 --> 01:20:32,634
I don't want to live in
this fantasy anymore.
1343
01:20:32,867 --> 01:20:33,934
Okay?
1344
01:21:00,494 --> 01:21:02,797
I feel like it's
the end of the world.
1345
01:21:35,529 --> 01:21:36,997
Hey, Mom.
1346
01:21:38,131 --> 01:21:40,702
I remember. Now.
1347
01:21:46,273 --> 01:21:48,643
I remember you choking me.
1348
01:21:50,511 --> 01:21:52,346
I remember
not being able to breathe,
1349
01:21:52,379 --> 01:21:53,915
feeling like my body
was on fire.
1350
01:21:55,617 --> 01:21:59,152
I remember you telling me
how much you hated grandma
1351
01:21:59,186 --> 01:22:01,588
'cause she would dump
all of your breast milk.
1352
01:22:02,857 --> 01:22:05,158
I even went to live
with her for a while.
1353
01:22:05,192 --> 01:22:06,861
I was too young,
I don't...
1354
01:22:06,895 --> 01:22:08,161
I don't really remember
all the details,
1355
01:22:08,195 --> 01:22:09,563
but I do remember that.
1356
01:22:12,199 --> 01:22:14,669
Why would... Why would
someone dump breast milk?
1357
01:22:18,673 --> 01:22:20,842
It's 'cause you were drinking,
1358
01:22:20,875 --> 01:22:22,610
'cause you... you didn't
know how to cope.
1359
01:22:24,344 --> 01:22:26,046
I know that you smoked with me
when you were pregnant
1360
01:22:26,079 --> 01:22:27,949
and you drank with me,
1361
01:22:27,982 --> 01:22:30,317
and you needed it
for your nerves.
1362
01:22:30,350 --> 01:22:33,186
I know that 'cause
nobody ever helped you,
1363
01:22:33,220 --> 01:22:34,454
'cause your dad hit you...
1364
01:22:35,088 --> 01:22:36,724
'cause you were raped.
1365
01:22:37,926 --> 01:22:40,762
'Cause you lost people
that you cared about.
1366
01:22:42,931 --> 01:22:45,700
And I think that you carry that
around with you.
1367
01:22:45,733 --> 01:22:47,735
And I think that you wanted
a baby so bad
1368
01:22:47,769 --> 01:22:51,039
because you wanted pure love,
1369
01:22:51,071 --> 01:22:52,707
and you got that
but I was sick.
1370
01:22:55,342 --> 01:22:56,711
I was just a sick kid.
1371
01:22:58,211 --> 01:23:00,080
And I think that
that was probably
1372
01:23:00,113 --> 01:23:01,749
really overwhelming for you.
1373
01:23:03,718 --> 01:23:06,054
And I think that with all
the trauma that you endured,
1374
01:23:06,086 --> 01:23:08,155
and I think that with all...
1375
01:23:08,188 --> 01:23:09,289
all the abuse,
1376
01:23:10,692 --> 01:23:15,095
the genetic predisposition
for depression,
1377
01:23:15,128 --> 01:23:16,363
anxiety, all these things,
1378
01:23:16,396 --> 01:23:18,298
I think you were mentally ill.
1379
01:23:18,733 --> 01:23:20,068
I think there was
a diagnosis in there,
1380
01:23:20,100 --> 01:23:21,803
but nobody...
1381
01:23:24,806 --> 01:23:25,940
They let you down, Mom.
1382
01:23:28,475 --> 01:23:31,012
And then you lost your mind
and you died.
1383
01:23:32,579 --> 01:23:34,015
And that's not fair.
1384
01:23:35,215 --> 01:23:37,250
And I'm sorry.
1385
01:23:38,118 --> 01:23:39,787
I'm so sorry, Mom.
1386
01:23:44,458 --> 01:23:48,029
But I just need to say it,
that I do remember.
1387
01:23:49,831 --> 01:23:51,264
I remember now
1388
01:23:51,298 --> 01:23:53,034
and I think that you had
postpartum depression.
1389
01:23:55,003 --> 01:23:57,805
You just didn't know
how to cope with...
1390
01:23:58,673 --> 01:23:59,774
With me.
1391
01:24:01,609 --> 01:24:02,677
And so you hurt me.
1392
01:24:04,311 --> 01:24:06,047
You hurt me before dad hurt me.
1393
01:24:06,948 --> 01:24:08,116
Before anybody else hurt me.
1394
01:24:08,148 --> 01:24:11,284
Before I became just
a magnet...
1395
01:24:11,318 --> 01:24:12,386
for dysfunction.
1396
01:24:14,354 --> 01:24:16,024
And tragedy.
1397
01:24:19,259 --> 01:24:21,829
And I look at my life
and I just think...
1398
01:24:23,931 --> 01:24:26,400
God, so much wasted time...
1399
01:24:29,536 --> 01:24:32,006
hurting,
feeling like this.
1400
01:24:32,040 --> 01:24:34,274
And then I think back,
and God,
1401
01:24:34,307 --> 01:24:38,146
this is how you must've felt
your entire fucking life.
1402
01:24:40,313 --> 01:24:43,316
And it's unbearable.
I don't know how you did it.
1403
01:24:49,791 --> 01:24:51,693
I know you did
the best that you could.
1404
01:24:53,293 --> 01:24:56,030
And I know that you
stored that trauma
1405
01:24:56,496 --> 01:24:58,598
and that dysfunction
in your body...
1406
01:24:59,167 --> 01:25:01,201
and then you gave it to me.
1407
01:25:01,234 --> 01:25:03,971
And you probably got it
from your folks,
1408
01:25:04,005 --> 01:25:05,673
and then their folks
and then their folks.
1409
01:25:07,041 --> 01:25:09,110
And I've just been
giving it to myself.
1410
01:25:11,713 --> 01:25:13,346
But I don't want to
do that anymore.
1411
01:25:14,916 --> 01:25:17,417
I need to be done
with this.
1412
01:25:21,555 --> 01:25:24,524
I'm really sorry that
all of that happened to you.
1413
01:25:26,326 --> 01:25:28,796
And I know that you loved me.
I know that.
1414
01:25:30,698 --> 01:25:32,900
I loved you too,
I still love you, Mom.
1415
01:25:37,404 --> 01:25:39,640
And I just want you to know...
1416
01:25:43,343 --> 01:25:45,213
that it's okay.
It's okay now.
1417
01:25:46,580 --> 01:25:47,648
You're safe now.
1418
01:25:52,687 --> 01:25:54,588
But I'm done with this.
1419
01:26:00,795 --> 01:26:02,130
Okay.
1420
01:26:05,398 --> 01:26:06,466
Okay.
1421
01:26:15,442 --> 01:26:16,409
Firefighters are being flown in
1422
01:26:16,443 --> 01:26:18,179
from various other states today
1423
01:26:18,212 --> 01:26:20,882
to help combat the
ever-growing Vincent Fire,
1424
01:26:20,915 --> 01:26:24,919
now spread to many parts of
Central and Northern California.
1425
01:26:24,952 --> 01:26:28,388
The Governor has declared
a state of emergency.
1426
01:26:28,421 --> 01:26:30,024
In breaking news,
1427
01:26:30,057 --> 01:26:31,859
federal troops,
the National Guard
1428
01:26:31,893 --> 01:26:33,928
and secret police
are being deployed
1429
01:26:33,961 --> 01:26:35,897
into major cities
across America,
1430
01:26:35,930 --> 01:26:38,132
effective immediately.
1431
01:26:38,166 --> 01:26:40,101
Military tanks
have been deployed
1432
01:26:40,134 --> 01:26:42,302
and reports state that
local law enforcement
1433
01:26:42,335 --> 01:26:44,205
is cooperating with
the commanders...
1434
01:26:44,238 --> 01:26:47,440
...who now have total and absolute control.
1435
01:26:47,474 --> 01:26:49,442
What does this mean for
the American people?
1436
01:26:49,476 --> 01:26:51,112
The military can
arrest civilians
1437
01:26:51,145 --> 01:26:52,479
for no stated reason,
1438
01:26:52,512 --> 01:26:54,849
thus suspending
habeas corpus.
1439
01:26:54,882 --> 01:26:57,417
Civil liberties such as
the right to free speech
1440
01:26:57,450 --> 01:26:59,754
and protection from
unreasonable search and seizure
1441
01:26:59,787 --> 01:27:01,354
is suspended.
1442
01:27:01,388 --> 01:27:03,090
The speaker says this...
1443
01:27:03,124 --> 01:27:05,559
Hi. Oh, my God.
I've been trying to get a hold of you.
1444
01:27:05,592 --> 01:27:07,228
I don't know if
you've seen the news.
1445
01:27:07,261 --> 01:27:08,296
This is absolutely
fucking crazy.
1446
01:27:08,328 --> 01:27:09,396
Hi.
1447
01:27:11,032 --> 01:27:12,133
Hi.
1448
01:27:15,203 --> 01:27:18,239
Why do you... You look
like you are sick.
1449
01:27:19,439 --> 01:27:20,908
No.
1450
01:27:21,676 --> 01:27:23,244
You look like
you have a fever.
1451
01:27:23,277 --> 01:27:25,512
You look...
you look feverish.
1452
01:27:25,545 --> 01:27:28,448
I got a little bit
of a fever, all right?
1453
01:27:28,481 --> 01:27:29,817
I'm not gonna lie to you.
1454
01:27:29,851 --> 01:27:31,686
I'm just sweating
a little, that's all.
1455
01:27:31,719 --> 01:27:34,155
It's humid here.
1456
01:27:34,188 --> 01:27:35,522
So it's okay.
1457
01:27:35,857 --> 01:27:37,825
Yeah, it's... it's...
it's... it's okay.
1458
01:27:39,492 --> 01:27:43,664
Are you sure that you...
1459
01:27:43,698 --> 01:27:47,001
actually want to be with me?
1460
01:27:47,500 --> 01:27:48,803
I'll need help with things,
1461
01:27:48,836 --> 01:27:51,571
it's not always going to be...
1462
01:27:51,973 --> 01:27:54,275
you know, romantic.
1463
01:27:57,879 --> 01:28:01,381
I know... I know it hurts
and I know that it's hard.
1464
01:28:01,414 --> 01:28:02,884
It's... It's...
it's hard to breathe,
1465
01:28:02,917 --> 01:28:05,720
but it says... it says that
if you can just
1466
01:28:05,753 --> 01:28:07,454
kind of, like,
lean forward
1467
01:28:07,487 --> 01:28:10,490
and... and just kind of,
like, hit your...
1468
01:28:10,523 --> 01:28:12,226
like, I think it means that,
1469
01:28:12,260 --> 01:28:13,628
you know, if I were there,
I would do it.
1470
01:28:13,661 --> 01:28:15,730
It's like, if...
you kind of got to, like,
1471
01:28:15,763 --> 01:28:18,366
pound on your chest a little bit just
to kind of like loosen up the mucus
1472
01:28:18,398 --> 01:28:21,736
because it's...
it's just settling
1473
01:28:21,769 --> 01:28:24,672
and you can't move
and you have to move,
1474
01:28:24,705 --> 01:28:26,707
but I know you can't move.
1475
01:28:28,209 --> 01:28:29,977
I get moody.
1476
01:28:30,011 --> 01:28:31,411
It can get dark,
1477
01:28:31,444 --> 01:28:32,980
and I don't want you
to see that.
1478
01:28:35,415 --> 01:28:38,853
There's a house
on a street
1479
01:28:38,886 --> 01:28:39,987
by the sea.
1480
01:28:59,874 --> 01:29:00,942
Hi.
1481
01:29:02,276 --> 01:29:03,344
Hi.
103382
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