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1
00:00:03,237 --> 00:00:05,773
ADULT SHELDON:
The average American consumes
2
00:00:05,806 --> 00:00:09,177
55 pounds of beef per year.
3
00:00:09,210 --> 00:00:10,778
And then there's Texas,
4
00:00:10,811 --> 00:00:13,314
where we can knock that off
in a couple of months.
5
00:00:13,347 --> 00:00:17,118
Maybe faster, if we're talking
about smoked brisket...
6
00:00:17,151 --> 00:00:18,686
*
7
00:00:21,822 --> 00:00:24,458
...curiously,
the one cut of beef
8
00:00:24,492 --> 00:00:27,027
that Texans and Jews
agree upon.
9
00:00:28,662 --> 00:00:31,199
(mouth full): This is
really good, Meemaw.
10
00:00:31,232 --> 00:00:32,500
Really good?
11
00:00:32,533 --> 00:00:35,169
You're spitting the best
brisket in Texas
12
00:00:35,203 --> 00:00:36,504
all over the damn table.
13
00:00:36,537 --> 00:00:38,339
Close your mouth
when you eat.
14
00:00:38,372 --> 00:00:40,708
Or aim your face
the other way.
15
00:00:40,741 --> 00:00:42,676
Connie, one of these days,
you got to give me the recipe.
16
00:00:42,710 --> 00:00:44,778
You bet. For sure.
17
00:00:44,812 --> 00:00:47,381
One of these days.
Oh, come on.
18
00:00:47,415 --> 00:00:48,682
You can't hold on to it forever.
19
00:00:48,716 --> 00:00:49,817
Mean that much to you?
20
00:00:49,850 --> 00:00:51,719
Mary and I were dating
about a month
21
00:00:51,752 --> 00:00:53,354
when she brought me
home for dinner.
22
00:00:53,387 --> 00:00:54,622
I took one bite of this brisket,
23
00:00:54,655 --> 00:00:56,257
and I knew I loved
your daughter.
24
00:00:56,290 --> 00:00:57,391
Gee, thanks.
25
00:00:57,425 --> 00:01:00,294
Kind of like Sleeping Beauty,
except Dad kissed meat.
26
00:01:00,328 --> 00:01:02,430
(chuckles)
27
00:01:02,463 --> 00:01:03,564
I tell you what.
28
00:01:03,597 --> 00:01:04,698
You go get a...
29
00:01:04,732 --> 00:01:06,567
piece of paper and a pencil,
30
00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:08,136
I'll write it down for you.
31
00:01:08,169 --> 00:01:10,771
Okay. It's happening...
32
00:01:13,774 --> 00:01:16,144
That's the fastest
I've seen him run.
33
00:01:16,177 --> 00:01:18,246
It's the only time
I've seen him run.
34
00:01:20,148 --> 00:01:21,115
There you go.
35
00:01:21,149 --> 00:01:23,217
Okay.
36
00:01:26,320 --> 00:01:27,521
I might make it
this weekend.
37
00:01:27,555 --> 00:01:29,323
Or you could try
a vegetable.
38
00:01:29,357 --> 00:01:32,092
Vegetable?
That's funny.
39
00:01:34,362 --> 00:01:35,629
Okay.
40
00:01:35,663 --> 00:01:37,765
Now, this is for
your eyes only.
41
00:01:37,798 --> 00:01:39,333
You're not to share it
with anybody.
42
00:01:39,367 --> 00:01:40,768
I never-- I would never.
43
00:01:47,375 --> 00:01:48,642
You're a horrible person.
44
00:01:48,676 --> 00:01:50,611
(chuckles)
What'd it say?
45
00:01:50,644 --> 00:01:51,779
I want to know
what it said.
46
00:01:51,812 --> 00:01:53,881
Me, too.
Just eat.
47
00:01:53,914 --> 00:01:55,549
Can I read it?
48
00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:01,689
You are a horrible person.
49
00:02:01,722 --> 00:02:02,590
Ain't I? (laughs)
50
00:02:02,623 --> 00:02:05,359
All right, that's enough
about the brisket.
51
00:02:05,393 --> 00:02:07,761
You kids excited for
the church picnic tomorrow?
52
00:02:07,795 --> 00:02:09,863
Not really.
I don't know.
53
00:02:09,897 --> 00:02:11,199
Oh, come on.
54
00:02:11,232 --> 00:02:13,367
You all saw the flier.
The three "F"s:
55
00:02:13,401 --> 00:02:15,369
food, fun and fellowship.
56
00:02:15,403 --> 00:02:16,637
MEEMAW:
And I'm bringing
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00:02:16,670 --> 00:02:18,872
a big slab of my brisket.
58
00:02:18,906 --> 00:02:21,275
That's it.
59
00:02:21,309 --> 00:02:24,478
15 years in this family, and
all the time I've been nothing
60
00:02:24,512 --> 00:02:25,879
but a good,
supportive son-in-law.
61
00:02:25,913 --> 00:02:27,448
I always treated
your daughter right,
62
00:02:27,481 --> 00:02:29,417
I gave you three
beautiful grandchildren.
63
00:02:29,450 --> 00:02:31,919
Only thing I ever asked in
return was that damn recipe.
64
00:02:36,424 --> 00:02:37,658
You're right.
65
00:02:41,395 --> 00:02:43,697
Get another piece of paper.
I'll write it down.
66
00:02:43,731 --> 00:02:44,965
Don't mess with me, Connie.
67
00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:47,568
Get the paper before
I change my mind.
68
00:02:53,874 --> 00:02:56,244
You're gonna do it
to him again, aren't you?
69
00:02:56,277 --> 00:02:59,380
I kind of have to.
70
00:02:59,413 --> 00:03:02,516
* Nobody else
is stronger than I am *
71
00:03:02,550 --> 00:03:04,952
* Yesterday I moved a mountain
72
00:03:04,985 --> 00:03:07,755
* I bet I could be your hero
73
00:03:07,788 --> 00:03:10,824
* I am a mighty little man
74
00:03:10,858 --> 00:03:13,661
* I am a mighty little man. *
75
00:03:13,694 --> 00:03:15,763
(cow mooing)
76
00:03:20,501 --> 00:03:22,236
(toilet flushes)
MARY: George, she was just
fooling with you.
77
00:03:22,270 --> 00:03:23,437
GEORGE:
No, no, she's mean.
78
00:03:23,471 --> 00:03:25,439
She got a black heart.
79
00:03:25,473 --> 00:03:26,307
MARY:
She does not.
80
00:03:26,340 --> 00:03:28,276
GEORGE: Why do you
always side with her?
81
00:03:28,309 --> 00:03:30,278
MARY:
Well, she is my mother.
82
00:03:30,311 --> 00:03:31,645
GEORGE:
And there it is.
83
00:03:31,679 --> 00:03:32,580
There's the problem.
84
00:03:32,613 --> 00:03:34,582
You should be siding
with me.
85
00:03:34,615 --> 00:03:38,319
MARY: Over brisket?
GEORGE: It's not just brisket.
86
00:03:38,352 --> 00:03:39,753
It's the way she's been
treating me since day one.
87
00:03:39,787 --> 00:03:42,623
Like I'm some kind of
loser, a booby prize.
88
00:03:42,656 --> 00:03:45,626
"Booby prize."
MARY: What was that?
89
00:03:50,764 --> 00:03:54,668
Georgie, you mind
your own business.
90
00:03:54,702 --> 00:03:56,337
What did I do?
91
00:03:57,771 --> 00:03:59,773
What's going on?
92
00:03:59,807 --> 00:04:02,009
Mom and Dad are fighting.
93
00:04:02,042 --> 00:04:03,744
What about?
94
00:04:03,777 --> 00:04:06,614
Brisket.
95
00:04:06,647 --> 00:04:08,882
If they get a divorce,
who do you think
96
00:04:08,916 --> 00:04:10,484
you'll pick to live with?
97
00:04:11,819 --> 00:04:13,454
Well, Mom, of course.
98
00:04:13,487 --> 00:04:15,489
I want Mom. Pick again.
99
00:04:15,523 --> 00:04:16,924
(sighs)
100
00:04:16,957 --> 00:04:19,393
*
101
00:04:19,427 --> 00:04:20,894
I thought Dad was coming.
102
00:04:20,928 --> 00:04:22,463
No, he had work to do.
103
00:04:22,496 --> 00:04:24,998
What kind of work?
I don't know.
Coaching stuff.
104
00:04:25,032 --> 00:04:26,567
Can't he do it
after the picnic?
105
00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:28,769
No, Missy, he cannot.
Why not?
106
00:04:28,802 --> 00:04:31,038
Enough.
107
00:04:31,071 --> 00:04:33,073
How come Georgie's
not going?
108
00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:36,577
He's grounded for eavesdropping
on me and your father.
109
00:04:38,679 --> 00:04:40,581
Well, I hope he learned
his lesson.
110
00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:44,051
Is this about the recipe?
111
00:04:44,084 --> 00:04:46,920
I bet he's mad 'cause
you always side with Meemaw.
112
00:04:46,954 --> 00:04:48,922
And how would you know that?
113
00:04:48,956 --> 00:04:50,658
Georgie told me.
114
00:04:50,691 --> 00:04:53,026
Are you and Dad
getting a divorce?
115
00:04:53,060 --> 00:04:55,563
'Course not.
116
00:04:55,596 --> 00:04:57,665
Well, if you do,
I want to live with you.
117
00:04:57,698 --> 00:05:00,534
Sheldon, no one's
getting a divorce.
118
00:05:00,568 --> 00:05:01,902
But thank you, honey.
119
00:05:04,772 --> 00:05:06,674
You know this
all goes away
120
00:05:06,707 --> 00:05:09,677
if you just give him your
recipe for the brisket.
121
00:05:09,710 --> 00:05:10,778
I know.
122
00:05:10,811 --> 00:05:12,446
And?
123
00:05:12,480 --> 00:05:16,517
I guess it's not going away.
124
00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:20,654
(football announcer speaking
over TV)
125
00:05:20,688 --> 00:05:22,856
And I wasn't
eavesdropping.
126
00:05:22,890 --> 00:05:24,425
Don't worry about it.
127
00:05:24,458 --> 00:05:26,394
I just don't see why
I got grounded.
128
00:05:26,427 --> 00:05:27,795
What are you complaining about?
129
00:05:27,828 --> 00:05:29,830
You didn't want to go
to church picnic anyway.
130
00:05:29,863 --> 00:05:32,433
I like complaining.
I'm good at it.
131
00:05:39,072 --> 00:05:40,841
I'll be right back.
132
00:05:40,874 --> 00:05:43,511
Mind if I have
a sip of your beer?
133
00:05:43,544 --> 00:05:46,146
You mind if I dip your head
in the compost heap?
134
00:05:46,179 --> 00:05:49,717
You could have
just said no.
135
00:05:49,750 --> 00:05:52,352
*
136
00:06:15,643 --> 00:06:18,879
What are you doing?
(gasps)
137
00:06:18,912 --> 00:06:20,481
Nothing!
Get out of here.
138
00:06:20,514 --> 00:06:22,583
You're looking for
her brisket recipe.
139
00:06:22,616 --> 00:06:24,452
All of a sudden you got smart?
140
00:06:24,485 --> 00:06:25,619
I said get out of here.
141
00:06:25,653 --> 00:06:27,455
I won't tell, I swear.
142
00:06:29,056 --> 00:06:30,390
All right, help me look.
143
00:06:35,663 --> 00:06:37,931
Ooh.
Found it?
144
00:06:37,965 --> 00:06:39,633
No, this is her French toast.
145
00:06:39,667 --> 00:06:42,002
You're not looking
for French toast.
146
00:06:42,035 --> 00:06:43,771
She does make it good, though.
147
00:06:43,804 --> 00:06:45,573
Did you know
she puts vanilla extract
148
00:06:45,606 --> 00:06:46,774
in her whipped cream?
149
00:06:46,807 --> 00:06:48,075
I did not.
150
00:06:48,108 --> 00:06:49,510
Quarter teaspoon.
151
00:06:49,543 --> 00:06:51,078
Georgie?
Yeah?
152
00:06:51,111 --> 00:06:52,846
We're looking for brisket!
153
00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:54,948
Cranky.
154
00:06:58,952 --> 00:07:01,822
(door opens)
MARY: We're home.
155
00:07:01,855 --> 00:07:02,923
Be cool.
156
00:07:02,956 --> 00:07:04,658
I'm cool. You be cool.
157
00:07:04,692 --> 00:07:06,827
(leather squeaking)
158
00:07:10,531 --> 00:07:13,467
(chair clatters)
159
00:07:13,501 --> 00:07:14,968
Real cool.
160
00:07:35,689 --> 00:07:38,458
He thought I wrote it down.
161
00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:41,461
What a dope.
162
00:07:44,131 --> 00:07:46,667
MAN: Seltzer...
(continues speaking over TV)
163
00:07:46,700 --> 00:07:48,235
...hair tonic. Hair tonic.
164
00:07:49,737 --> 00:07:51,839
(man continues speaking over TV)
165
00:07:51,872 --> 00:07:53,273
Need help putting the kids down?
166
00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:55,242
No, thank you, I've been
taking care of them all day.
167
00:07:55,275 --> 00:07:56,910
I think I can
finish the job.
168
00:07:56,944 --> 00:07:58,579
Oh, come on, don't do that.
169
00:07:58,612 --> 00:08:00,080
Don't do what?
170
00:08:02,650 --> 00:08:04,051
Never mind.
171
00:08:08,188 --> 00:08:10,057
Just so you know,
Sheldon and Missy won
172
00:08:10,090 --> 00:08:11,725
the three-legged race
because she told him
173
00:08:11,759 --> 00:08:14,127
a bee was chasing them,
and you missed it.
174
00:08:14,161 --> 00:08:16,797
I'm sorry, I-I just needed
a break from your mother.
175
00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:19,600
Yeah, well, you took a break
from your family.
176
00:08:19,633 --> 00:08:21,935
How long is this feud
between you two gonna go on?
177
00:08:21,969 --> 00:08:23,036
That's up to her.
178
00:08:23,070 --> 00:08:26,106
You are both such...
179
00:08:26,139 --> 00:08:28,776
stubborn...
donkey butts!
180
00:08:28,809 --> 00:08:30,811
(Missy laughing)
Missy!
181
00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:31,979
Go to bed.
182
00:08:32,012 --> 00:08:33,647
MISSY:
You don't know it's me.
183
00:08:33,681 --> 00:08:35,282
(running footsteps, door closes)
184
00:08:36,950 --> 00:08:40,220
(crickets chirping)
185
00:08:40,253 --> 00:08:41,321
Hey.
186
00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:43,791
What do you want?
187
00:08:43,824 --> 00:08:46,126
Don't be that way.
188
00:08:46,159 --> 00:08:47,895
I brought you a cold one.
189
00:08:47,928 --> 00:08:50,864
Thanks.
190
00:08:50,898 --> 00:08:52,299
I still don't like you.
191
00:08:52,332 --> 00:08:54,167
(chuckling)
192
00:08:59,072 --> 00:09:01,541
Would this change
your feelings?
193
00:09:03,811 --> 00:09:04,878
Is that it?
194
00:09:04,912 --> 00:09:07,180
The Holy Grail.
195
00:09:10,818 --> 00:09:12,920
What changed your mind?
196
00:09:12,953 --> 00:09:15,055
You not going
to the picnic today,
197
00:09:15,088 --> 00:09:16,957
that hurt Mary
and the twins.
198
00:09:16,990 --> 00:09:18,792
I cannot have that
on my heart.
199
00:09:18,826 --> 00:09:20,560
Is that so?
Absolutely.
200
00:09:22,229 --> 00:09:23,931
Look me in the eye
and tell me
201
00:09:23,964 --> 00:09:26,934
this is the actual recipe.
202
00:09:26,967 --> 00:09:29,670
George, what you have
in your hand
203
00:09:29,703 --> 00:09:32,940
is the exact
step-by-step instructions
204
00:09:32,973 --> 00:09:35,876
on how to make my brisket.
205
00:09:35,909 --> 00:09:40,347
I have never written it down
until tonight because...
206
00:09:40,380 --> 00:09:43,751
I was afraid
someone might steal it.
207
00:09:43,784 --> 00:09:47,054
But I'm entrusting
this to you,
208
00:09:47,087 --> 00:09:50,357
and I hope that someday,
when the time is right,
209
00:09:50,390 --> 00:09:54,361
you will see fit to share it
with one of your children.
210
00:09:54,394 --> 00:09:55,963
Connie, I don't
know what to say.
211
00:09:55,996 --> 00:09:57,765
Don't call me Connie.
212
00:09:57,798 --> 00:10:00,768
Call me Mom.
(chuckles)
213
00:10:00,801 --> 00:10:02,670
Thanks, Mom.
214
00:10:02,703 --> 00:10:04,404
You're welcome, son.
215
00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:07,340
Mmm.
216
00:10:07,374 --> 00:10:09,142
*
217
00:10:09,176 --> 00:10:10,844
(quietly):
What a dope.
218
00:10:10,878 --> 00:10:12,179
* What I want, you've got
219
00:10:12,212 --> 00:10:14,381
* And it might be
hard to handle *
220
00:10:14,414 --> 00:10:17,350
* But like the flame
that burns the candle... *
221
00:10:17,384 --> 00:10:19,720
ADULT SHELDON: The next morning,
my dad embarked
222
00:10:19,753 --> 00:10:23,423
on a doomed quest
to make the perfect brisket.
223
00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:25,258
Can I help you?
224
00:10:25,292 --> 00:10:27,160
Matter of fact, you can.
225
00:10:27,194 --> 00:10:28,729
* You pull them
all together... *
226
00:10:28,762 --> 00:10:31,865
I need 12 pounds of prime Angus
with a medium deckle,
227
00:10:31,899 --> 00:10:37,070
ideally slaughtered in the
spring, no later than mid-June.
228
00:10:37,104 --> 00:10:40,107
* You make my dreams
come true... *
229
00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:42,209
ADULT SHELDON:
For the spice rub,
230
00:10:42,242 --> 00:10:44,211
Meemaw had him drive
to New Orleans
231
00:10:44,244 --> 00:10:46,847
to buy ground coffee
from Café Du Monde,
232
00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:50,851
and seven ounces of something
called "holy ghost root"
233
00:10:50,884 --> 00:10:54,121
from a voodoo woman
named Madam Laveau.
234
00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:56,023
* Yeah...
235
00:10:56,056 --> 00:10:57,290
Could you grind my root for me?
236
00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:02,796
I-I'm-a... I'm-a rub it
on brisket.
237
00:11:09,469 --> 00:11:12,439
ADULT SHELDON: Then back home,
he applied the spice rub
238
00:11:12,472 --> 00:11:15,142
with such erotic tenderness,
239
00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:17,811
it made my mother
a little jealous.
240
00:11:19,279 --> 00:11:21,048
* Well, you...
241
00:11:21,081 --> 00:11:23,116
Finally, the cooking began.
242
00:11:23,150 --> 00:11:26,319
* You make my dreams
come true... *
243
00:11:27,988 --> 00:11:30,824
* Oh, yeah,
I've been waiting for... *
244
00:11:30,858 --> 00:11:33,927
14 hours of cooking.
245
00:11:33,961 --> 00:11:35,362
And basting.
246
00:11:35,395 --> 00:11:36,864
* You make my dreams
come true... *
247
00:11:36,897 --> 00:11:38,966
And spritzing.
248
00:11:38,999 --> 00:11:40,100
* Me, you, me, you, me...
249
00:11:40,133 --> 00:11:43,403
And tending to the fire.
250
00:11:44,872 --> 00:11:48,408
* Oh, my, you make my dreams
come true... *
251
00:11:48,441 --> 00:11:53,480
Until it was finally time
to let the meat rest.
252
00:11:53,513 --> 00:11:55,816
* Waiting for, waiting for,
waiting for *
253
00:11:55,849 --> 00:11:57,818
* Waiting for,
waiting for, waiting for *
254
00:11:57,851 --> 00:12:00,287
* You make my dreams...
Oh...
255
00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:03,857
Rest, my darling.
256
00:12:03,891 --> 00:12:05,358
Rest.
257
00:12:05,392 --> 00:12:09,296
Mmm. This Café Du Monde coffee
is very good.
258
00:12:09,329 --> 00:12:11,198
They make it with chicory.
259
00:12:11,231 --> 00:12:13,934
And what does it do
to the brisket?
260
00:12:13,967 --> 00:12:15,135
Oh, I have no idea.
261
00:12:15,168 --> 00:12:20,140
Then why did you send George
all the way to New Orleans?
262
00:12:20,173 --> 00:12:22,776
Well, they don't sell this
around here.
263
00:12:22,810 --> 00:12:23,877
Mmm.
264
00:12:23,911 --> 00:12:26,213
Here we go.
265
00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:29,416
15 years and 14 hours later.
266
00:12:29,449 --> 00:12:32,285
Best brisket in Texas.
267
00:12:37,290 --> 00:12:40,127
GEORGE SR.:
Connie, you evil bitch!
268
00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:42,329
It's smoother
than regular coffee.
269
00:12:42,362 --> 00:12:44,564
That wasn't the recipe.
270
00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:47,100
You looked me in the eye,
and you lied to me.
271
00:12:47,134 --> 00:12:48,335
Oh, Mom.
272
00:12:48,368 --> 00:12:50,904
You broke into my home
and tried to steal it.
273
00:12:50,938 --> 00:12:51,671
Oh, George.
274
00:12:51,704 --> 00:12:53,140
You told her we
went over there?
275
00:12:53,173 --> 00:12:54,908
(gasps)
Oh, George Jr.
276
00:12:54,942 --> 00:12:57,010
I didn't say nothing.
I was cool.
277
00:12:57,044 --> 00:12:58,846
I am loving this.
278
00:12:58,879 --> 00:13:00,848
I don't want this woman
in my house anymore.
279
00:13:00,881 --> 00:13:02,449
She is my mother.
She is the devil.
280
00:13:02,482 --> 00:13:04,818
And what if the kids
want to see her?
281
00:13:04,852 --> 00:13:06,453
Fine.
282
00:13:06,486 --> 00:13:08,355
Schedule it
for when I'm not here.
283
00:13:08,388 --> 00:13:10,523
Or when I'm dead.
284
00:13:18,031 --> 00:13:20,233
And quit drinking my coffee.
285
00:13:28,575 --> 00:13:32,079
Turn off your train,
we've got to talk.
286
00:13:32,112 --> 00:13:33,113
(train stops)
287
00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:34,014
About what?
288
00:13:34,047 --> 00:13:35,548
Mom is so upset
about Dad and Meemaw,
289
00:13:35,582 --> 00:13:37,217
she might want a divorce.
290
00:13:37,250 --> 00:13:39,052
No one's getting divorced.
291
00:13:39,086 --> 00:13:40,153
How do you know?
292
00:13:40,187 --> 00:13:41,454
(whistles)
293
00:13:41,488 --> 00:13:43,123
Great, now I have
to throw that out.
294
00:13:43,156 --> 00:13:47,027
Mother-in-laws are always held
in low regard by the father.
295
00:13:47,060 --> 00:13:49,963
It rarely leads
to a breakup of the family.
296
00:13:49,997 --> 00:13:51,231
MISSY:
He's right.
297
00:13:51,264 --> 00:13:53,466
Fred and Wilma
are still happily married.
298
00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:55,402
I think if we can figure out
299
00:13:55,435 --> 00:13:57,470
a way for Dad to get
Meemaw's brisket recipe,
300
00:13:57,504 --> 00:13:58,906
this all goes away.
301
00:13:58,939 --> 00:14:00,974
I don't see how
we can accomplish that.
302
00:14:01,008 --> 00:14:02,275
(train clatters)
303
00:14:02,309 --> 00:14:03,977
Put that down.
304
00:14:04,011 --> 00:14:05,212
That's not a toy.
305
00:14:05,245 --> 00:14:06,346
Sure it is.
306
00:14:06,379 --> 00:14:07,981
Choo choo.
307
00:14:08,015 --> 00:14:10,283
MEEMAW:
Choo choo...
308
00:14:10,317 --> 00:14:12,986
Choo choo.
309
00:14:13,020 --> 00:14:15,322
Open wide, Moonpie.
310
00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:17,991
Here comes the choo choo train.
311
00:14:18,025 --> 00:14:19,526
Choo choo.
312
00:14:19,559 --> 00:14:22,062
Mmm. Isn't that good?
313
00:14:22,095 --> 00:14:23,130
(chuckles)
314
00:14:23,163 --> 00:14:26,533
That's Meemaw's famous brisket.
315
00:14:26,566 --> 00:14:28,969
Would you like
the secret recipe?
316
00:14:29,002 --> 00:14:30,170
(gasps)
317
00:14:30,203 --> 00:14:32,639
You promise not to tell anybody?
318
00:14:32,672 --> 00:14:35,508
Of course you're not gonna
tell anybody.
319
00:14:35,542 --> 00:14:39,246
I start with a tablespoon
of cumin,
320
00:14:39,279 --> 00:14:42,449
and then a cup
of brown sugar, and...
321
00:14:42,482 --> 00:14:44,117
I know the recipe.
322
00:14:44,151 --> 00:14:45,318
What?
323
00:14:45,352 --> 00:14:46,619
She told it to me.
324
00:14:46,653 --> 00:14:47,454
When?
325
00:14:47,487 --> 00:14:49,422
February 14, 1982.
326
00:14:49,456 --> 00:14:51,959
I was 23 months old,
it was Valentine's Day,
327
00:14:51,992 --> 00:14:53,526
and Mom and Dad
went out for dinner.
328
00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:56,196
You were there.
Don't you remember?
329
00:14:56,229 --> 00:14:58,131
(sighs)
330
00:14:58,165 --> 00:15:01,134
(wind whistling softly)
331
00:15:01,168 --> 00:15:02,535
I got nothing.
332
00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:04,537
You can really remember
when you were that little?
333
00:15:04,571 --> 00:15:06,573
Uh-huh. You were there, too.
334
00:15:06,606 --> 00:15:08,408
You were still struggling
with potty training.
335
00:15:08,441 --> 00:15:10,110
(chuckling):
I don't think so.
336
00:15:10,143 --> 00:15:13,646
Oh, yes. Meemaw used to call you
Mr. Soggy Pants.
337
00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:14,281
Nuh-uh.
338
00:15:14,314 --> 00:15:16,283
(laughs):
Mr. Soggy Pants.
339
00:15:16,316 --> 00:15:18,018
Quit it. This is serious.
340
00:15:18,051 --> 00:15:19,686
Sheldon, you've got
to tell Dad that recipe.
341
00:15:19,719 --> 00:15:22,689
But Meemaw told me
it was a secret.
342
00:15:22,722 --> 00:15:25,658
If you don't, and Mom and Dad
get a divorce, it's your fault.
343
00:15:25,692 --> 00:15:27,694
All right.
344
00:15:27,727 --> 00:15:28,996
Fine.
345
00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:32,565
Good job, Soggy Pants.
346
00:15:32,599 --> 00:15:34,567
(referee whistle blowing
over TV)
347
00:15:34,601 --> 00:15:38,038
Dad, could you please
come into the living room?
348
00:15:38,071 --> 00:15:39,339
What for?
349
00:15:39,372 --> 00:15:40,473
My brain
did something impressive
350
00:15:40,507 --> 00:15:42,542
and I'd like to share it
with you.
351
00:15:44,077 --> 00:15:45,445
Hmm.
352
00:15:46,346 --> 00:15:48,448
(George Sr. grunts)
353
00:15:51,351 --> 00:15:52,419
What are you doing here?
354
00:15:52,452 --> 00:15:54,054
Same as you.
355
00:15:54,087 --> 00:15:56,189
I want to see
what his brain did.
356
00:15:56,223 --> 00:15:58,691
Please have a seat.
357
00:15:58,725 --> 00:16:01,061
All right.
358
00:16:02,229 --> 00:16:03,596
(grunts)
359
00:16:03,630 --> 00:16:05,198
GEORGE SR.:
Well?
360
00:16:05,232 --> 00:16:07,634
I know Meemaw's brisket recipe.
361
00:16:07,667 --> 00:16:08,435
What?
362
00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:09,436
No, you don't.
363
00:16:09,469 --> 00:16:10,670
Yes, I do.
364
00:16:10,703 --> 00:16:13,206
And in order to bring peace
to this family,
365
00:16:13,240 --> 00:16:15,075
I'm prepared to make it public.
366
00:16:15,108 --> 00:16:16,076
You're bluffing.
367
00:16:16,109 --> 00:16:17,344
One tablespoon of cumin,
368
00:16:17,377 --> 00:16:18,611
one cup of brown sugar,
369
00:16:18,645 --> 00:16:20,780
two tablespoons
of smoked paprika...
370
00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:22,082
Okay, okay, stop.
371
00:16:22,115 --> 00:16:22,949
No, no, no. Keep going.
372
00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:24,617
How do you know
the recipe, Shelly?
373
00:16:24,651 --> 00:16:27,287
Meemaw told it to me
on Valentine's Day, 1982.
374
00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:29,556
You were out with Dad
seeing Cannonball Run
375
00:16:29,589 --> 00:16:31,091
at the dollar theater.
376
00:16:31,124 --> 00:16:33,560
That's impossible, you weren't
even two years old.
377
00:16:33,593 --> 00:16:35,395
Three tablespoons
of dried mustard,
378
00:16:35,428 --> 00:16:37,297
one cup of Lone Star beer...
379
00:16:37,330 --> 00:16:40,133
Okay.
380
00:16:40,167 --> 00:16:41,768
Okay.
381
00:16:41,801 --> 00:16:43,403
Go ahead.
382
00:16:43,436 --> 00:16:45,138
Give it to your father.
383
00:16:45,172 --> 00:16:47,006
I can write it down for you.
384
00:16:48,475 --> 00:16:50,210
That's okay,
I don't want it.
385
00:16:50,243 --> 00:16:52,645
(quietly):
You have got to be kidding me.
386
00:16:52,679 --> 00:16:53,780
Connie, you've had
every opportunity
387
00:16:53,813 --> 00:16:55,482
to give me that recipe
and you never did,
388
00:16:55,515 --> 00:16:57,350
because you've always
treated me like an outsider.
389
00:16:57,384 --> 00:16:58,351
No, she has not.
390
00:16:58,385 --> 00:16:59,519
Oh, of course I have.
391
00:16:59,552 --> 00:17:00,787
See? She admits it.
392
00:17:00,820 --> 00:17:02,789
(sighs)
Damn right, I do.
393
00:17:02,822 --> 00:17:06,293
Never thought you were good
enough for my daughter.
394
00:17:06,326 --> 00:17:09,062
There you were, riding around
on that dumb motorcycle,
395
00:17:09,096 --> 00:17:09,929
knocking her up.
396
00:17:09,962 --> 00:17:11,698
Why don't you kids
go in the kitchen
397
00:17:11,731 --> 00:17:13,266
and fix yourselves
some ice cream?
398
00:17:13,300 --> 00:17:15,034
I'm not going anywhere.
399
00:17:16,536 --> 00:17:19,139
Hey. I get it.
400
00:17:20,307 --> 00:17:21,374
I have a daughter.
401
00:17:21,408 --> 00:17:24,811
I wouldn't want her bringing
home someone like that.
402
00:17:24,844 --> 00:17:27,480
But I've come
a hell of a long way since then.
403
00:17:31,451 --> 00:17:33,753
Okay, you're right.
404
00:17:38,158 --> 00:17:39,559
George.
405
00:17:41,361 --> 00:17:43,096
I'm sorry.
406
00:17:45,498 --> 00:17:48,768
That means more to me
than any recipe.
407
00:17:50,303 --> 00:17:52,239
Come here.
408
00:17:52,272 --> 00:17:54,474
(Meemaw chuckles)
409
00:17:57,744 --> 00:18:00,447
ADULT SHELDON:
Don't let the hug fool you.
410
00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:03,116
The minute she went home,
he made me give him the recipe.
411
00:18:07,554 --> 00:18:11,090
Here we go, maiden voyage.
412
00:18:12,625 --> 00:18:14,861
Mmm, mmm.
413
00:18:14,894 --> 00:18:17,464
Hot damn.
414
00:18:17,497 --> 00:18:19,232
GEORGE SR.:
Hot damn.
415
00:18:21,301 --> 00:18:22,469
(George Sr. moaning)
416
00:18:22,502 --> 00:18:24,437
Hot damn!
417
00:18:24,471 --> 00:18:26,739
MARY (laughs):
George! Language.
418
00:18:26,773 --> 00:18:28,208
Sheldon.
419
00:18:28,241 --> 00:18:29,476
Want some?
420
00:18:29,509 --> 00:18:31,878
Uh, no, thank you.
I'm not hungry.
28420
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