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MUSIC: Mandy
by Barry Manilow
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? Oh, Mandy, well, you came,
and you gave without taking
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? But I sent you away, oh, Mandy
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? Well, you kissed me
and stopped me from shaking
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? And I need you today, oh, Mandy. ?
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So the job would be to assist
a sewer technician,
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also known as a flusher.
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Your job would be to be part
of the team responsible for clearing
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and cleaning the sewers of fatbergs,
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massive globs of congealed fat
and waste.
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Does that sound like something
you'd be interested in doing?
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Does it fuck.
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Er, you'd be working in the evenings
on a four-hour shift...
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00:00:43,180 --> 00:00:44,495
What, just four hours?
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Well, yeah, you'd be working alone,
most of the time,
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just guarding the sewer.
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So they're saying this needs to be
someone who's able to stay occupied
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00:00:50,580 --> 00:00:52,135
whilst on duty.Occupied?
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00:00:52,260 --> 00:00:54,295
What does that mean?
What, just, like, stay awake?
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Yeah, that's the minimum
that's asked of you.
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They don't set a lot of hurdles for
people who want to work in sewage.
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Right, well, I'll take it.
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Well, hang on,
you need to meet the manager first,
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and then he'll decide
whether or not to take you on.
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Right, fine, well, book me in.
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OK, erm,
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you will wear something
more appropriate, won't you?
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What do you mean?
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Well, it's just very...
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Hey, eyes up, eyes up!
I'm not, I... Mm.
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I'm up here. Hello. I wasn't...
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You mucky devil!
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I have a good mind to report you.
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Others might come forward.
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MUSIC: Di-Gue-Ding-Ding
by Michel Legrand
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Well, we've never had a woman
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who wanted to work down the sewers
before.
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Well, you've never met
Mandy Carter before.
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You know it stinks, right?
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What does?
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The sewer.
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Have you tried air fresheners?
Air fresheners?
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You'd need a scented candle
the size of Eccles
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to mask that stench.
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Well, it's fine by me.
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I don't have much of
a sense of smell anyway.
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All right.
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Do you know what this is?
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Is it a wet wipe?
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This, Mandy, is the sewer man's
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number one enemy!
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Ignorant people throw wet wipes
down the loo,
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where they combine with congealed
fat, cooking oil, food waste,
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condoms and excrement,
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to produce...
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..one of these -
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a fatberg, a mass so big
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that it blocks the entire sewer,
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causing a dangerous build-up
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of explosive methane gas.
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00:02:47,980 --> 00:02:49,855
Now, you know, the facts,
are you still interested?
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It's only four hours a shift,
isn't it?
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Yes.Count me in.
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We tend not to ask too many
questions of anybody who wants to
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go down the sewers, but,
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just for the form,
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can you swim?
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00:03:00,900 --> 00:03:03,375
Erm, no, no.
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00:03:03,500 --> 00:03:05,095
Why would I need
to be able to swim?
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It's a pipe full of shit, love.
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You fall in,
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you can't swim,
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you drown in a pipe full of shit.
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You see him?
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00:03:17,220 --> 00:03:18,895
Albert Pertwee.
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Fell in. Couldn't swim.
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Drowned in a pipe full of shit.
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00:03:23,940 --> 00:03:25,655
You see him?
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00:03:25,780 --> 00:03:28,055
Lance McFadden.
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He's dead.
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00:03:30,060 --> 00:03:31,935
You know why?Did he,
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did he drown in a, in a,
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in a pipe... Pipe...
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..full of sh... ..full of shit.
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That's why we ask
for a swimming certificate.
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00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:41,415
I like you, Mandy.
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00:03:41,540 --> 00:03:42,855
I think you're a good egg.
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I'd like to have you down
my pipes
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but if you haven't got
a swimming certificate,
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no, can do. Them's the rules.
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Health and safety.
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00:03:51,380 --> 00:03:53,295
Well, I could learn how to swim.
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00:03:53,420 --> 00:03:54,935
Ooh-hoo hoo-hoo hoo!
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You're keen!
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00:03:56,780 --> 00:03:59,735
You bring me that swimming
certificate within two weeks,
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and the job's yours.
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00:04:01,300 --> 00:04:02,660
Oh! Fantastic!
98
00:04:04,540 --> 00:04:06,135
Why do you want to work in a sewer?
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00:04:06,260 --> 00:04:07,735
It's only four hours a shift,
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00:04:07,860 --> 00:04:09,535
no-one breathing down my neck,
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00:04:09,660 --> 00:04:10,975
and who knows, Lola,
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00:04:11,100 --> 00:04:13,175
might meet Mr Right down there.
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00:04:13,300 --> 00:04:14,895
First, though, I've got to learn
how to swim.
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00:04:15,020 --> 00:04:15,975
Oh, that's easy.
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00:04:16,100 --> 00:04:18,295
Just go down to your local
swimming baths on a Wednesday,
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between two to three.
No-one is ever there at that time.
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Oh, right.
Yeah, I'll do that.
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00:04:23,820 --> 00:04:25,615
What about technique, though?
Can you swim, Lol?
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00:04:25,740 --> 00:04:28,335
Yes! I can swim like a fish.
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00:04:28,460 --> 00:04:30,775
I was going to do the cross-Channel
swim to raise money
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00:04:30,900 --> 00:04:32,615
for Comical Relief,
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00:04:32,740 --> 00:04:34,815
but I swallowed a cap
on the training run
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and I had to miss it.
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Learn to swim, Mandy.
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It might save your life.
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What am I going to do
till Wednesday?
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I know. I'll go to the library,
get a book out and out to swim.
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Practise the theory.
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Vikings?
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Pigeons.
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00:05:06,220 --> 00:05:07,575
I see we have the same interests.
122
00:05:07,700 --> 00:05:10,095
Eh? Vikings and pigeons.
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00:05:10,220 --> 00:05:11,975
You what?
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00:05:12,100 --> 00:05:13,255
Can I help you with anything?
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00:05:13,380 --> 00:05:15,130
I'm looking for a book on swimming.
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00:05:19,180 --> 00:05:20,335
There you go.
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00:05:20,460 --> 00:05:21,495
Hope it helps.
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00:05:21,620 --> 00:05:22,535
Ta.
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00:05:22,660 --> 00:05:24,135
Ooh,
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just give that a wipe.
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I can't bear dirtiness.
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Muck.
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Thanks.
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00:05:29,980 --> 00:05:32,055
Oh, erm,
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00:05:32,180 --> 00:05:34,495
I was wondering if you'd like to
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00:05:34,620 --> 00:05:36,535
come to a restaurant with me,
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00:05:36,660 --> 00:05:38,095
sometime?
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00:05:38,220 --> 00:05:39,415
Are you serious?
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00:05:39,540 --> 00:05:41,095
Yeah.
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00:05:41,220 --> 00:05:42,215
Me?
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00:05:42,340 --> 00:05:43,535
Yes.
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00:05:43,660 --> 00:05:44,975
Why?
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So that we can eat food
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and talk about
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pigeons, or Vikings.
146
00:05:52,660 --> 00:05:53,775
All right. Yeah.
147
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Erm, Monday at 6pm, Piccolino's?
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00:05:57,420 --> 00:05:59,335
They've got a hygiene rating
of five.
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00:05:59,460 --> 00:06:00,815
Ooh!
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00:06:00,940 --> 00:06:02,295
Yeah, all right.
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00:06:02,420 --> 00:06:03,655
Yeah, well, I'll, I'll,
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00:06:03,780 --> 00:06:04,820
see you then.
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00:06:05,980 --> 00:06:07,135
Oh, what's your name?
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Andrew.
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00:06:08,460 --> 00:06:09,495
I'm Mandy.
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00:06:09,620 --> 00:06:11,695
I know,
I looked it up on the system.
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00:06:11,820 --> 00:06:12,860
Oh.
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00:06:13,860 --> 00:06:15,960
I also saw that you owe us a fine,
as well.
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00:06:17,860 --> 00:06:21,095
We never received
"Fifty Shades of Grey" back.
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It weren't for me.
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I were reading it
to a blind woman.
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Well, that's OK.
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00:06:28,260 --> 00:06:30,140
I can just make that fine disappear.
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Thanks. See you.
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00:06:51,580 --> 00:06:53,335
Lynne, I'm really not feeling
very well.
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I think I've got food poisoning.
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I might have to sit this one out.
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Oh, shit! Where's me costume?
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MUSIC: Jump In The Line
by Harry Belafonte
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? Shake, shake, shake, Senora
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? Shake your body line
172
00:07:59,220 --> 00:08:00,775
? Shake, shake, shake, Senora
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00:08:00,900 --> 00:08:02,775
? Shake it all the time
174
00:08:02,900 --> 00:08:05,055
? Work, work, work, Senora
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00:08:05,180 --> 00:08:06,735
? Work your body line
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00:08:06,860 --> 00:08:09,095
? Work, work, work, Senora
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00:08:09,220 --> 00:08:11,055
? Work it all the time
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Fucking hell!
? My girl's name is Senora
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? I tell you, friends, I adore her
Oh!
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00:08:15,340 --> 00:08:16,295
Oh, Jesus Christ!
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00:08:16,420 --> 00:08:17,575
? And when she dances, oh, brother
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00:08:17,700 --> 00:08:19,255
? She's a hurricane
in all kinds of weather
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MANDY SCREAMS
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MUSIC CONTINUES, MUTED UNDERWATER
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? Rock your body in time
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00:08:26,220 --> 00:08:27,935
? OK! I believe you
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00:08:28,060 --> 00:08:30,335
? Jump in the line,
rock your body in time
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00:08:30,460 --> 00:08:31,775
? OK! I believe you... ?
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I can't swim! I can't swim!
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Help!
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00:08:36,140 --> 00:08:38,255
? Shake, shake, shake, Senora
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00:08:38,380 --> 00:08:40,295
? Shake your body line, whoa!
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00:08:40,420 --> 00:08:41,495
? Shake... ?
194
00:08:41,620 --> 00:08:44,295
MUSIC CONTINUES, MUTED UNDERWATER
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00:08:44,420 --> 00:08:46,535
? Work, work, work, Senora
196
00:08:46,660 --> 00:08:48,415
? Work your body line
197
00:08:48,540 --> 00:08:50,815
? Work, work, work, Senora
198
00:08:50,940 --> 00:08:52,375
? Work it all the time
199
00:08:52,500 --> 00:08:54,695
? Senora dances calypso
200
00:08:54,820 --> 00:08:56,615
? Left to right is the tempo
201
00:08:56,740 --> 00:08:58,575
? And when she gets the sensation
202
00:08:58,700 --> 00:09:01,015
? She'll go up in the air,
come down in slow motion
203
00:09:01,140 --> 00:09:03,535
? Jump in the line,
rock your body in time
204
00:09:03,660 --> 00:09:05,335
? OK! I believe you
205
00:09:05,460 --> 00:09:07,575
? Jump in the line,
rock your body in time
206
00:09:07,700 --> 00:09:09,175
? Somebody help me!
207
00:09:09,300 --> 00:09:11,855
? Jump in the line,
rock your body in time
208
00:09:11,980 --> 00:09:13,695
? OK! I believe you
209
00:09:13,820 --> 00:09:14,815
? Jump in the line... ?
210
00:09:14,940 --> 00:09:16,380
Argh! Oh, my God!
211
00:09:18,420 --> 00:09:19,695
They don't give certificates now,
212
00:09:19,820 --> 00:09:21,215
as they're trying to cut down
on paper,
213
00:09:21,340 --> 00:09:22,655
but I have got this picture of me
214
00:09:22,780 --> 00:09:24,495
winning a synchronised
swimming gala.
215
00:09:24,620 --> 00:09:25,655
Will that do?
216
00:09:25,780 --> 00:09:27,655
That'll do it for me.Right.
217
00:09:27,780 --> 00:09:29,695
Here you are. Put these on.
218
00:09:29,820 --> 00:09:31,295
You can start tonight.
219
00:09:31,420 --> 00:09:34,335
KLAXON SOUNDS
220
00:09:34,460 --> 00:09:36,735
It's emergency! Emergency!
221
00:09:36,860 --> 00:09:38,615
Code red! Follow me!
222
00:09:38,740 --> 00:09:40,735
KLAXON CONTINUES
223
00:09:40,860 --> 00:09:42,775
Right, lads,
224
00:09:42,900 --> 00:09:46,575
what we've got is a super fatberg,
225
00:09:46,700 --> 00:09:48,655
17 metres across,
226
00:09:48,780 --> 00:09:53,135
causing a build-up
of combustible methane.
227
00:09:53,260 --> 00:09:55,455
When the sewage enters the tank,
228
00:09:55,580 --> 00:09:58,415
it will instantly overheat
229
00:09:58,540 --> 00:10:04,775
and vaporise approximately
7,000 cubic metres of effluent,
230
00:10:04,900 --> 00:10:10,455
giving rise to a significant
thermal explosion.
231
00:10:10,580 --> 00:10:15,935
Everything within a 30-kilometre
radius will be completely
232
00:10:16,060 --> 00:10:17,260
covered in shit.
233
00:10:18,300 --> 00:10:21,935
The release of effluent
will be severe.
234
00:10:22,060 --> 00:10:27,695
It will impact all of Clifton, Bury,
Prestwich and Stoneclough,
235
00:10:27,820 --> 00:10:31,815
Manchester, Salford, Trafford Park,
Stretford.
236
00:10:31,940 --> 00:10:34,135
Well, most of East Lancashire.
237
00:10:34,260 --> 00:10:40,815
Radcliffe will be completely
uninhabitable for 40 years.
238
00:10:40,940 --> 00:10:42,100
No change there, then.
239
00:10:43,780 --> 00:10:47,375
But, lads, I believe
we have a solution.
240
00:10:47,500 --> 00:10:51,855
We need three workers who know
the facility well enough
241
00:10:51,980 --> 00:10:56,535
to make their way through the
pertinent channels till they come
242
00:10:56,660 --> 00:11:02,135
to the sluice gate valve,
where they can pump out the tank.
243
00:11:02,260 --> 00:11:04,415
It is that simple.
244
00:11:04,540 --> 00:11:07,895
But let me warn you,
and I'll not mince words,
245
00:11:08,020 --> 00:11:13,015
whoever does it will likely
be dead within a week.
246
00:11:13,140 --> 00:11:15,335
Why would we do this?
For what?
247
00:11:15,460 --> 00:11:16,775
Why should you do it?
248
00:11:16,900 --> 00:11:19,735
Yeah. because it must be done.
249
00:11:19,860 --> 00:11:24,375
Lads, this is what is always
set our people apart.
250
00:11:24,500 --> 00:11:29,495
Hundreds of years of sacrifice
coursing through our veins,
251
00:11:29,620 --> 00:11:34,655
every generation must embrace
its suffering so you make your peace
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00:11:34,780 --> 00:11:39,500
with it and go into the water
because it must be done!
253
00:11:44,140 --> 00:11:45,340
Frank Crickley.
254
00:11:47,060 --> 00:11:48,580
Trevor Hargreaves.
255
00:11:50,740 --> 00:11:52,100
Mandy Carter
256
00:11:53,460 --> 00:11:55,095
Sorry, what's going on?
257
00:11:55,220 --> 00:11:57,135
Didn't really understand
any of that.
258
00:11:57,260 --> 00:11:58,620
It's my first day.
259
00:12:01,820 --> 00:12:03,735
This, guard this with your life.
260
00:12:03,860 --> 00:12:05,935
This... This is your lifeline.
261
00:12:06,060 --> 00:12:07,980
This is your methane detector.
262
00:12:10,460 --> 00:12:11,740
Good lad.
263
00:12:22,460 --> 00:12:24,015
OVER RADIO: Mandy, are you there?
264
00:12:24,140 --> 00:12:25,375
Yeah, I'm here.
265
00:12:25,500 --> 00:12:28,415
What's your methane reading, Mandy?
266
00:12:28,540 --> 00:12:30,015
Er...
267
00:12:30,140 --> 00:12:31,735
My needle's in the red!
268
00:12:31,860 --> 00:12:33,895
This is worse than I thought.
269
00:12:34,020 --> 00:12:38,535
You're trapped in a giant methane
pocket and what you've got to do
270
00:12:38,660 --> 00:12:41,775
is make your way to the sluice
gates as quickly as you can
271
00:12:41,900 --> 00:12:43,380
and release the gas.
272
00:12:50,540 --> 00:12:52,220
My battery's dying!
273
00:13:01,140 --> 00:13:03,180
Hang on, I've got my fags here.
274
00:13:05,300 --> 00:13:08,415
I'll use my lighter. Mandy, no!
275
00:13:08,540 --> 00:13:09,860
The gas!
276
00:13:17,980 --> 00:13:19,895
EXPLOSION
277
00:13:20,020 --> 00:13:22,255
Good evening, sir.
Can I get you another drink?
278
00:13:22,380 --> 00:13:24,775
No, she should be here in a minute.
Thank you.
279
00:13:24,900 --> 00:13:26,020
OK, no worries.
280
00:13:30,820 --> 00:13:32,700
Oh, sorry, I'm late.
281
00:13:35,020 --> 00:13:38,460
Oh, God, you haven't got a wet wipe
on you, have you?
282
00:13:39,700 --> 00:13:41,975
I know they're bad for the
environment, but they're really
283
00:13:42,100 --> 00:13:44,250
handy, you know,
if you can't get to a sink.
284
00:13:45,780 --> 00:13:46,855
Oof.
285
00:13:46,980 --> 00:13:48,420
I am famished.
286
00:13:49,580 --> 00:13:50,980
What you having.
287
00:13:54,940 --> 00:13:56,700
Got meat loaf sliders.
288
00:13:58,980 --> 00:14:00,575
- MUSIC: Jump In the Line
- By Harry Belafonte
289
00:14:00,700 --> 00:14:02,255
? Jump in the line,
rock your body in time
290
00:14:02,380 --> 00:14:03,695
? OK, I believe you
291
00:14:03,820 --> 00:14:06,375
? Jump in the line,
rock your body in time
292
00:14:06,500 --> 00:14:08,015
? Somebody, help me
293
00:14:08,140 --> 00:14:10,495
? Jump in the line,
rock your body in time
294
00:14:10,620 --> 00:14:12,215
? OK, I believe you
295
00:14:12,340 --> 00:14:14,735
? Jump in the line,
rock your body in time
296
00:14:14,860 --> 00:14:16,375
? Whoa-oh
297
00:14:16,500 --> 00:14:20,655
? Shake, shake, shake, Senora,
shake your body line
298
00:14:20,780 --> 00:14:24,695
? Shake, shake, shake, Senora,
shake it all the time
299
00:14:24,820 --> 00:14:27,180
? Work, work, work, Senora. ?
300
00:14:27,230 --> 00:14:31,780
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