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1
00:00:07,181 --> 00:00:09,661
Fam, what's up
with your boy Phil?
2
00:00:09,705 --> 00:00:11,663
[laughter]
- I mean, wow.
3
00:00:11,707 --> 00:00:13,665
He got rugged up, huh?
4
00:00:13,709 --> 00:00:17,147
Yeah, look like he asked
for the Brad Pitt-iful.
5
00:00:17,191 --> 00:00:18,670
We're on in five.
6
00:00:18,714 --> 00:00:20,803
Yeah, looking like
the white Jesus, am I right?
7
00:00:20,846 --> 00:00:22,196
Amen.
8
00:00:22,239 --> 00:00:24,154
[laughing]
Welcome back.
9
00:00:24,198 --> 00:00:27,505
Sad news
as we report a freak tornado
10
00:00:27,549 --> 00:00:29,116
has ripped through Bibb County,
11
00:00:29,159 --> 00:00:31,335
leaving several homes
destroyed...
12
00:00:31,379 --> 00:00:35,339
[clears throat]
16 hospitalized,
13
00:00:35,383 --> 00:00:38,429
and one on wig support--
life support.
14
00:00:38,473 --> 00:00:42,390
So thoughts and hairs--
thoughts and prayers.
15
00:00:42,433 --> 00:00:46,916
And as always, thank you
for waking up with Kenan.
16
00:00:46,959 --> 00:00:49,136
And clear.
both: Oh, man.
17
00:00:49,179 --> 00:00:50,267
Whew.
18
00:00:50,311 --> 00:00:51,747
What happened out there?
19
00:00:51,790 --> 00:00:54,358
Uh, maybe that thing on your
head is what happened.
20
00:00:54,402 --> 00:00:55,490
Man, that segment
was the worst
21
00:00:55,533 --> 00:00:56,882
since the time you wet-farted
22
00:00:56,926 --> 00:00:58,710
all the way through
the Derek Chauvin sentence.
23
00:00:58,754 --> 00:01:02,192
The body expresses itself in
a plethora of ways, okay, Gary?
24
00:01:02,236 --> 00:01:03,324
Well, I'm going
to get out of here
25
00:01:03,367 --> 00:01:05,065
before Mika
starts yelling at me.
26
00:01:05,108 --> 00:01:07,415
Oh, don't go--Mika yelling at
you is the highlight of my day,
27
00:01:07,458 --> 00:01:09,243
which is weird
'cause you're my favorite.
28
00:01:09,286 --> 00:01:11,201
- Thanks, man.
- Don't worry.
29
00:01:11,245 --> 00:01:12,420
I'll pray for you, Kenan.
30
00:01:12,463 --> 00:01:14,117
I appreciate it.
Oh, here she comes.
31
00:01:14,161 --> 00:01:15,814
Kenan.
32
00:01:15,858 --> 00:01:17,468
That was rough.
33
00:01:17,512 --> 00:01:19,209
But we'll get them tomorrow.
34
00:01:19,253 --> 00:01:21,385
Pam, Tammy, that was fire.
35
00:01:21,429 --> 00:01:25,563
And, Phil, go ahead
with your Brad self.
36
00:01:25,607 --> 00:01:29,001
I don't say this enough,
but I love you guys,
37
00:01:29,045 --> 00:01:31,352
even you Garebear.
[giggles]
38
00:01:31,395 --> 00:01:34,355
- What the hell?
- Garebear?
39
00:01:34,398 --> 00:01:35,617
Okay, did she get saved?
40
00:01:35,660 --> 00:01:37,662
'Cause she's got
those saved eyes.
41
00:01:37,706 --> 00:01:38,620
No, no, no.
42
00:01:38,663 --> 00:01:40,578
Saved people are haters.
- No.
43
00:01:40,622 --> 00:01:42,885
Somebody giving her
the mac and cheese.
44
00:01:42,928 --> 00:01:46,106
You know, she swimming
in that splish-splash.
45
00:01:46,149 --> 00:01:48,020
Sex.
She's having sex.
46
00:01:48,064 --> 00:01:49,239
Damn, y'all.
47
00:01:49,283 --> 00:01:51,589
- Oh.
- I knew that.
48
00:01:51,633 --> 00:01:53,809
You didn't, I said mac
and cheese, and you were like--
49
00:01:53,852 --> 00:01:55,332
Yeah, and I got hungry.
50
00:01:55,376 --> 00:01:58,770
[funky upbeat music]
51
00:01:58,814 --> 00:02:02,600
♪
52
00:02:02,644 --> 00:02:04,428
You know what? Maybe
I've been too hard on you.
53
00:02:04,472 --> 00:02:05,908
I'm going to give you
two minutes
54
00:02:05,951 --> 00:02:07,431
for your flat Earth stuff.
55
00:02:07,475 --> 00:02:12,436
Really? Yes. Thank you.
I knew you were one of us.
56
00:02:12,480 --> 00:02:13,829
Damn, Mika flat Earth?
57
00:02:13,872 --> 00:02:16,397
Somebody wearing booty-colored glasses.
58
00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:17,876
Gary, have some class man.
59
00:02:17,920 --> 00:02:20,314
Actually, Mika, we're all
very proud of you for having
60
00:02:20,357 --> 00:02:23,317
all the hot butt-naked sex
that you're having.
61
00:02:23,360 --> 00:02:24,840
Oh, my God.
62
00:02:24,883 --> 00:02:27,625
Is it that obvious
that I'm seeing someone?
63
00:02:27,669 --> 00:02:32,282
Uh, yeah. So what's the hot
butt-naked man's name?
64
00:02:32,326 --> 00:02:34,284
Nick.
[giggles]
65
00:02:34,328 --> 00:02:38,593
He's sweet and tall
and, yes, sexy.
66
00:02:38,636 --> 00:02:39,985
Sounds like the opening
to a romance novel
67
00:02:40,029 --> 00:02:42,814
I used to read
on my washing machine--go on.
68
00:02:42,858 --> 00:02:44,381
Okay, so he went
to Georgetown,
69
00:02:44,425 --> 00:02:47,297
and he owns a seafood
restaurant in Buckhead.
70
00:02:47,341 --> 00:02:49,386
A single college graduate
71
00:02:49,430 --> 00:02:52,650
who is a successful
seafood entrepreneur.
72
00:02:52,694 --> 00:02:55,653
- Yeah.
- Sounds fishy, pun intended.
73
00:02:55,697 --> 00:02:58,308
Yeah, restaurants are usually
a front for illegalities,
74
00:02:58,352 --> 00:03:00,571
like my Uncle Valentine's
pizza shop.
75
00:03:00,615 --> 00:03:02,617
He did sell pizza, but one
of the toppings was weed.
76
00:03:02,660 --> 00:03:04,009
Okay, see, this is exactly
77
00:03:04,053 --> 00:03:05,402
why I don't want
to tell you all,
78
00:03:05,446 --> 00:03:06,969
because I didn't need
any of the judgments.
79
00:03:07,012 --> 00:03:09,276
We're not judging.
We're just looking out.
80
00:03:09,319 --> 00:03:10,712
Yeah.
You're in the honeymoon phase.
81
00:03:10,755 --> 00:03:13,105
You might not be
seeing things clearly.
82
00:03:13,149 --> 00:03:16,761
Let us meet him and decide
if he's Mika worthy.
83
00:03:16,805 --> 00:03:18,285
Hmm.
84
00:03:18,328 --> 00:03:20,591
All right, you may be right.
85
00:03:20,635 --> 00:03:22,027
Maybe?
86
00:03:22,071 --> 00:03:24,595
Come on, you can't have
a sixth failed engagement.
87
00:03:24,639 --> 00:03:28,120
You have lost more rings
in the last minute than LeBron.
88
00:03:28,164 --> 00:03:31,211
The man saved his family
from the goon squad.
89
00:03:31,254 --> 00:03:32,560
What more did you people want?
90
00:03:32,603 --> 00:03:35,215
To know what
the goon squad is.
91
00:03:35,258 --> 00:03:37,565
[hip-hop music]
92
00:03:37,608 --> 00:03:39,784
Mika, you ain't say
your man own Pesco's.
93
00:03:39,828 --> 00:03:41,525
This is the hottest spot
in Buckhead.
94
00:03:41,569 --> 00:03:43,745
Yeah, it takes six months
to get into here.
95
00:03:43,788 --> 00:03:46,748
It only takes two nights
to get in Pam.
96
00:03:46,791 --> 00:03:48,532
Yeah, all right, he's got
the hottest restaurant in town,
97
00:03:48,576 --> 00:03:50,273
but I'm still
not sold on this dude.
98
00:03:50,317 --> 00:03:52,014
Yeah, Mika, Kenan and I
99
00:03:52,057 --> 00:03:54,973
agreed that we were going to be
honest with you no matter what.
100
00:03:55,017 --> 00:03:56,323
- Okay.
- Mika.
101
00:03:56,366 --> 00:03:58,586
He could get it.
He could definitely get it.
102
00:03:58,629 --> 00:04:01,153
both: Hi.
- Chill, Tammy.
103
00:04:01,197 --> 00:04:02,546
Welcome to Pesco's.
104
00:04:02,590 --> 00:04:04,896
You guys must be Mika's
work friends and Gary.
105
00:04:04,940 --> 00:04:08,117
"And Gary"--didn't realize
we were so close.
106
00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:10,467
Guys, this is Nick.
107
00:04:10,511 --> 00:04:11,773
Oh, I know
exactly who you are--
108
00:04:11,816 --> 00:04:14,645
Mr. Nick Johnson.
Yeah, did a little research.
109
00:04:14,689 --> 00:04:18,083
So I know about the bankruptcy,
the divorce,
110
00:04:18,127 --> 00:04:21,739
and the wife and kids
in Gilbert, Arizona.
111
00:04:21,783 --> 00:04:24,133
[chuckles]
It's Johnston with a T,
112
00:04:24,176 --> 00:04:26,048
and those kids are Korean.
113
00:04:26,091 --> 00:04:27,615
Are they?
114
00:04:27,658 --> 00:04:30,095
Oh, that's my bad--I thought
they were just light-skinned.
115
00:04:30,139 --> 00:04:31,358
Well, we've got all night
116
00:04:31,401 --> 00:04:33,098
to get to know
each other real well.
117
00:04:33,142 --> 00:04:35,536
Thank you for coming.
Everything's on me.
118
00:04:35,579 --> 00:04:37,407
Uh, does that include drinks?
119
00:04:37,451 --> 00:04:39,366
Is my mom
a Jehovah's Witness?
120
00:04:39,409 --> 00:04:40,932
Yes, she is.
121
00:04:40,976 --> 00:04:44,284
[excited chatter]
122
00:04:44,327 --> 00:04:46,286
- Shall we?
- We shall, I'm thirsty.
123
00:04:46,329 --> 00:04:48,897
So, Nick Johnston,
124
00:04:48,940 --> 00:04:50,855
what are your intentions
with our girl here?
125
00:04:50,899 --> 00:04:51,987
Yeah.
126
00:04:52,030 --> 00:04:55,512
Well, in short, to try
every single day
127
00:04:55,556 --> 00:04:57,601
to be the man she deserves,
which is impossible.
128
00:04:57,645 --> 00:04:59,211
She deserves perfection.
129
00:04:59,255 --> 00:05:00,474
My water just broke.
130
00:05:00,517 --> 00:05:02,214
Man, that was some
"Love Jones"-type ish
131
00:05:02,258 --> 00:05:03,694
right there.
132
00:05:03,738 --> 00:05:06,306
Oh, you're sweet.
You're like a human teddy bear.
133
00:05:06,349 --> 00:05:07,959
That was my line name.
I'm a sigma.
134
00:05:08,003 --> 00:05:09,265
Wow, me too.
135
00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:11,267
Quinn, Quinn?
Show them to eight, please.
136
00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:13,095
I reserved our best table
for us.
137
00:05:13,138 --> 00:05:14,749
So go ahead start ordering,
138
00:05:14,792 --> 00:05:16,881
and I'll be with you guys
in a few minutes.
139
00:05:16,925 --> 00:05:18,100
Okay.
140
00:05:18,143 --> 00:05:20,058
All right.
141
00:05:20,102 --> 00:05:22,452
♪
142
00:05:22,496 --> 00:05:24,672
Okay, what do you think?
143
00:05:24,715 --> 00:05:26,978
- He is literally perfect.
- I know.
144
00:05:27,022 --> 00:05:28,589
You think he'd go
to a Hawks game with me?
145
00:05:28,632 --> 00:05:31,156
- Kenan.
- We got to work up to that?
146
00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:32,723
- Yeah.
- All right.
147
00:05:34,508 --> 00:05:36,640
Yo, this place is nice.
148
00:05:36,684 --> 00:05:38,381
Looks like a spot
a Instagram model
149
00:05:38,425 --> 00:05:40,296
would wear a waist trainer to.
150
00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:44,387
- Oh, is that the three amigos?
- No, and it's just Migos.
151
00:05:44,431 --> 00:05:47,651
- Not if they're friends.
- That's fair.
152
00:05:47,695 --> 00:05:50,393
- Sweet mother of Pam.
- What you Pamming about?
153
00:05:50,437 --> 00:05:53,004
Oh, Pam!
154
00:05:53,048 --> 00:05:55,093
What can I get you?
155
00:05:55,137 --> 00:05:56,704
Her to wait on us.
156
00:05:56,747 --> 00:05:58,096
Yeah, keep moving, boss,
157
00:05:58,140 --> 00:06:00,011
We don't need
all this youth-pastor energy
158
00:06:00,055 --> 00:06:01,535
you got going on,
looking like Kirk Franklin.
159
00:06:01,578 --> 00:06:02,666
Be blessed.
160
00:06:02,710 --> 00:06:04,102
Yeah, but be gone.
161
00:06:04,146 --> 00:06:05,365
- Hey, hey.
- Hey.
162
00:06:05,408 --> 00:06:07,192
What up, though?
both: What's up?
163
00:06:07,236 --> 00:06:08,280
- [chuckles]
- Ha.
164
00:06:08,324 --> 00:06:10,979
Mmm! Mmm!
165
00:06:11,022 --> 00:06:13,373
Man, these lemon-pepper
jalapeño poppers slap!
166
00:06:13,416 --> 00:06:17,072
I really hope that people never
stopped lemon-peppering things.
167
00:06:17,115 --> 00:06:18,334
I love this guy.
168
00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:19,901
Congrats, Mika.
169
00:06:19,944 --> 00:06:23,339
[giggles] I'm going to make
the best matron of honor...
170
00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:26,690
bridesmaid,
invited guest, plus-one.
171
00:06:26,734 --> 00:06:28,388
Okay, look, this isn't
about you, Tammy.
172
00:06:28,431 --> 00:06:30,520
This is about Nick.
173
00:06:30,564 --> 00:06:35,786
I got to break up with him.
- [spits]
174
00:06:35,830 --> 00:06:36,831
What?
175
00:06:38,702 --> 00:06:41,009
What?
Mika, what's the problem?
176
00:06:41,052 --> 00:06:42,445
Nick is amazing.
177
00:06:42,489 --> 00:06:44,273
I mean, I'm starting
to have feelings for him--
178
00:06:44,316 --> 00:06:47,319
bromance not romance,
but still a lot of feelings.
179
00:06:47,363 --> 00:06:49,278
Look, he said he was going
to be with us the whole night,
180
00:06:49,321 --> 00:06:51,106
and then he just upped
and bounce,
181
00:06:51,149 --> 00:06:53,238
just floating around the
restaurant from table to table
182
00:06:53,282 --> 00:06:54,979
for the last half hour
like some kind of --
183
00:06:55,023 --> 00:06:56,894
Responsible
small-business owner?
184
00:06:56,938 --> 00:06:59,941
Yeah. No, look,
I need my man
185
00:06:59,984 --> 00:07:01,856
to do what he says
he's going to do.
186
00:07:01,899 --> 00:07:03,466
This is a serious red flag.
187
00:07:03,510 --> 00:07:05,947
Oh, so now a Black man
can't get his hustle on?
188
00:07:05,990 --> 00:07:07,557
I swear, you women--
189
00:07:07,601 --> 00:07:10,430
y'all are both very lovely...
- Uh-huh.
190
00:07:10,473 --> 00:07:12,649
And great at spotting
red flags.
191
00:07:12,693 --> 00:07:14,042
Yeah.
192
00:07:14,085 --> 00:07:15,304
Mika, I do think
you might be overreacting,
193
00:07:15,347 --> 00:07:16,523
and that's coming from someone
194
00:07:16,566 --> 00:07:18,176
who made her husband
get a vasectomy
195
00:07:18,220 --> 00:07:20,527
because our last child
was born with red hair.
196
00:07:20,570 --> 00:07:21,919
Oh.
197
00:07:21,963 --> 00:07:24,139
Listen to the monster
that is Tammy, all right?
198
00:07:24,182 --> 00:07:27,838
Just talk to Nick
before you do anything rash.
199
00:07:27,882 --> 00:07:29,971
Okay, fine.
200
00:07:31,146 --> 00:07:32,364
That a girl.
201
00:07:32,408 --> 00:07:33,888
Oh, and see
if he'll send over
202
00:07:33,931 --> 00:07:36,107
a round of those lemon-pepper
turkey tenders, please.
203
00:07:37,761 --> 00:07:39,415
Here we are.
204
00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:42,244
We've got an IPA for the cutie
and a Sex on the Beach
205
00:07:42,287 --> 00:07:45,160
in a more masculine glass
for my manly man.
206
00:07:45,203 --> 00:07:46,596
I usually prefer
to drink Hennessy,
207
00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:50,557
but my allergies are acting up.
[sniffs]
208
00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:52,689
I can already tell this
is going to be
209
00:07:52,733 --> 00:07:55,083
the best drink of my life.
210
00:07:55,126 --> 00:07:57,215
[laughs]
211
00:07:57,259 --> 00:08:01,568
- Are you seeing this?
- She is seriously flirting.
212
00:08:01,611 --> 00:08:04,092
Uh, Right? So why don't you
go ahead on and get
213
00:08:04,135 --> 00:08:05,746
so I can, uh, bag her number.
214
00:08:05,789 --> 00:08:07,225
Why don't you get ahead
and get?
215
00:08:07,269 --> 00:08:09,140
She's been flirting with me
all night, not you.
216
00:08:09,184 --> 00:08:11,926
Are you insane?
217
00:08:11,969 --> 00:08:13,580
[scoffs]
Watch this.
218
00:08:13,623 --> 00:08:15,582
Hey, gorgeous, can I get
another orange slice
219
00:08:15,625 --> 00:08:19,586
for my drink
and your IG page perhaps?
220
00:08:19,629 --> 00:08:21,544
Of course, handsome.
221
00:08:21,588 --> 00:08:25,113
It's ChellyBelly321uno,
all one word.
222
00:08:25,156 --> 00:08:27,985
Ooh, classy and bilingual.
223
00:08:28,029 --> 00:08:29,334
[chuckles]
I don't need orange slices
224
00:08:29,378 --> 00:08:31,467
'cause I'm not
in the youth soccer league,
225
00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:33,774
but I might get up
on that IG, too.
226
00:08:33,817 --> 00:08:36,341
Well, only if I get
to follow you back, boo.
227
00:08:36,385 --> 00:08:42,478
Okay, it is @pamsports-
underscore-69-underscore-69--
228
00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:44,306
You know what?
There's more 69s,
229
00:08:44,349 --> 00:08:47,178
so I'll just put it in myself
for you.
230
00:08:47,222 --> 00:08:50,094
Why you being
so damn thirsty, Pam?
231
00:08:50,138 --> 00:08:52,967
You going to follow me
back, too, though.
232
00:08:53,010 --> 00:08:54,838
Oh, you're
my Man Crush Monday.
233
00:08:54,882 --> 00:08:56,144
Hell, yeah.
234
00:08:56,187 --> 00:08:59,887
You know what?
You two are really cute.
235
00:08:59,930 --> 00:09:02,803
Next round's on me.
[laughter]
236
00:09:02,846 --> 00:09:04,761
both: Dibs! Jinx!
237
00:09:04,805 --> 00:09:05,980
Damn it!
238
00:09:06,023 --> 00:09:08,286
Oh, I'm in a tough spot
right now.
239
00:09:08,330 --> 00:09:11,028
I love Mika,
but I also love drama.
240
00:09:11,072 --> 00:09:12,508
You know what?
They'll be fine.
241
00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:14,466
She just needs zaddy
to show her some more love.
242
00:09:14,510 --> 00:09:15,990
- Yeah.
- Face it, bro, Shelly's got
243
00:09:16,033 --> 00:09:17,513
a case of the Pam.
244
00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:19,602
It's a Pam-demic.
245
00:09:19,646 --> 00:09:22,518
No, no, no,
she has Gary-rrhea.
246
00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:25,565
I don't know do that
as well as you do that.
247
00:09:25,608 --> 00:09:27,479
Ooh, hold on to your shrimps.
248
00:09:27,523 --> 00:09:30,265
Looks like there's trouble
in paradise.
249
00:09:30,308 --> 00:09:32,354
Come on, y'all.
That's just Black love.
250
00:09:32,397 --> 00:09:34,182
They are just talking it out.
251
00:09:34,225 --> 00:09:35,923
See, right now she's saying,
252
00:09:35,966 --> 00:09:37,838
"When we get home later,
my king,
253
00:09:37,881 --> 00:09:39,927
I'm going to massage you here,
here, and here."
254
00:09:39,970 --> 00:09:42,625
Man, that isn't Black love.
That's Black "Love & Hip Hop."
255
00:09:42,669 --> 00:09:44,758
He should have gave her
that record deal.
256
00:09:44,801 --> 00:09:46,324
See?
all: Oh.
257
00:09:46,368 --> 00:09:48,326
- Wow.
- No.
258
00:09:48,370 --> 00:09:49,632
Hey, you think she got
259
00:09:49,676 --> 00:09:51,242
those lemon-pepper
turkey tenders in there?
260
00:09:51,286 --> 00:09:52,766
I don't think so.
261
00:09:52,809 --> 00:09:54,071
Wait, you guys,
262
00:09:54,115 --> 00:09:56,508
but Nick's still paying
for all this, right?
263
00:09:56,552 --> 00:09:57,988
Oh, hey, while you're here,
264
00:09:58,032 --> 00:10:00,948
can we get, like, I don't know,
five lobster entrées,
265
00:10:00,991 --> 00:10:04,516
a couple of tiramisus, two
of those Pesco's sweatshirts?
266
00:10:04,560 --> 00:10:05,866
A bottle
of lemon-pepper sauce
267
00:10:05,909 --> 00:10:07,041
just to keep in the car.
268
00:10:07,084 --> 00:10:08,695
A bottle lemon-pepper sauce.
269
00:10:08,738 --> 00:10:10,479
Oh, can I get a lobster
out the tank-don't kill it.
270
00:10:10,522 --> 00:10:13,003
I want to have it as a pet
for my nieces or myself.
271
00:10:13,047 --> 00:10:15,136
A hat to cover
my child's red head.
272
00:10:15,179 --> 00:10:16,441
But all of it to-go.
273
00:10:16,485 --> 00:10:18,226
- Thank you.
- Please. Thank you.
274
00:10:18,269 --> 00:10:21,403
Thank you.
- Oh, you're so sweet.
275
00:10:21,446 --> 00:10:26,060
These NASA photos are faked.
This is the real thing.
276
00:10:26,103 --> 00:10:28,671
Phil, walk away.
277
00:10:28,715 --> 00:10:32,066
Don't blame me
when you fall off.
278
00:10:32,109 --> 00:10:33,502
I'll never get used to it.
279
00:10:33,545 --> 00:10:36,766
Hey, champ, you want
to talk about last night?
280
00:10:36,810 --> 00:10:38,246
Uh, what about it?
281
00:10:38,289 --> 00:10:41,292
Well, some people are saying,
not myself,
282
00:10:41,336 --> 00:10:44,818
but maybe you broke up
with Nick for doing his job.
283
00:10:44,861 --> 00:10:47,429
Look, he said he was going
to be there for us,
284
00:10:47,472 --> 00:10:49,692
and then he bailed--it's like
Keith all over again.
285
00:10:49,736 --> 00:10:52,173
It's nothing like Keith.
Who's Keith?
286
00:10:52,216 --> 00:10:53,783
My first fiancé.
287
00:10:53,827 --> 00:10:55,785
So it's just better to end
things with Nick
288
00:10:55,829 --> 00:10:57,744
before someone gets hurt.
- Wait, wait, wait.
289
00:10:57,787 --> 00:11:00,181
I thought you broke up
with all your fiancés.
290
00:11:00,224 --> 00:11:01,878
Not the first one.
291
00:11:01,922 --> 00:11:04,011
Look, Kenan,
I'm really busy, okay?
292
00:11:04,054 --> 00:11:05,621
I approved a lot
of crappy stories
293
00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:08,145
when we were making
mac and cheese.
294
00:11:08,189 --> 00:11:10,278
No, no, come on, come on,
Talk to me, now.
295
00:11:10,321 --> 00:11:12,410
All right, look,
it was a long time ago.
296
00:11:12,454 --> 00:11:14,717
Keith and I fell in love
freshman year at college.
297
00:11:14,761 --> 00:11:17,459
I pledged JKA--skee-wee.
He was a Kappa.
298
00:11:17,502 --> 00:11:20,244
Boo. Sorry, sigma.
299
00:11:20,288 --> 00:11:23,247
You know!
Continue.
300
00:11:23,291 --> 00:11:25,293
Anyway, a week
before the wedding,
301
00:11:25,336 --> 00:11:26,642
he broke things off
302
00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:28,731
and didn't tell me why,
no explanation.
303
00:11:28,775 --> 00:11:30,951
Didn't even bother to ask me
for the ring back.
304
00:11:30,994 --> 00:11:32,387
Well, that's messed up.
305
00:11:32,430 --> 00:11:33,823
Yeah, and I swore
306
00:11:33,867 --> 00:11:36,783
I would never let myself
get hurt like that again.
307
00:11:36,826 --> 00:11:40,961
So now when I see
the warning signs, I'm out.
308
00:11:41,004 --> 00:11:43,528
Yeah, but what
if you're wrong?
309
00:11:43,572 --> 00:11:46,488
Either way, I save myself
a lot of heartbreak.
310
00:11:46,531 --> 00:11:49,317
Now, I really got to find
a replacement for this
311
00:11:49,360 --> 00:11:51,449
"Karens have feelings, too"
segment.
312
00:11:51,493 --> 00:11:53,625
Oh, good Lord, you was drunk
on that splish-splash.
313
00:11:53,669 --> 00:11:55,715
- I know.
- I'll see you later.
314
00:12:00,763 --> 00:12:03,026
Bam!
All in your face.
315
00:12:03,070 --> 00:12:06,813
That's Rachelle on Instagram
holding hands with a man--
316
00:12:06,856 --> 00:12:07,944
a Black man.
317
00:12:07,988 --> 00:12:09,859
Clearly she was into me.
318
00:12:09,903 --> 00:12:13,776
No, look, Rachelle
with her arm around a woman,
319
00:12:13,820 --> 00:12:16,474
a white woman or Greek.
320
00:12:16,518 --> 00:12:17,475
I can't tell.
321
00:12:17,519 --> 00:12:18,868
I mean, Greek is white,
322
00:12:18,912 --> 00:12:20,870
but not at certain times
in our history.
323
00:12:20,914 --> 00:12:22,785
Damn it, Pam, they was
always white to me.
324
00:12:22,829 --> 00:12:24,439
What we going to do, man?
325
00:12:24,482 --> 00:12:25,875
We can't walk up to here
and ask her what she's into.
326
00:12:25,919 --> 00:12:27,355
Not in these times.
327
00:12:27,398 --> 00:12:28,704
We need someone
328
00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:31,228
who is not afraid to ask
offensive questions.
329
00:12:31,272 --> 00:12:33,187
Right, somebody from
a different generation
330
00:12:33,230 --> 00:12:34,579
who's not afraid
to get canceled
331
00:12:34,623 --> 00:12:36,668
'cause we already
gave up on them.
332
00:12:36,712 --> 00:12:41,064
Mm-hmm, just a sad person
who just will ask anything.
333
00:12:41,108 --> 00:12:43,850
Let me put this in terms a
younger person can understand.
334
00:12:43,893 --> 00:12:46,853
What's your most used emoji--
335
00:12:46,896 --> 00:12:50,987
uh, eggplant or vagina emoji?
336
00:12:51,031 --> 00:12:54,469
How long does it take
to say Pam?
337
00:12:55,513 --> 00:12:58,386
I think I got your answer.
She's attracted to Pam.
338
00:12:58,429 --> 00:12:59,691
- Yes!
- What?
339
00:12:59,735 --> 00:13:01,824
- And Gary.
- Yes!
340
00:13:01,868 --> 00:13:03,043
Phil, can you clarify
341
00:13:03,086 --> 00:13:04,653
what you think the word
"answer" means?
342
00:13:04,696 --> 00:13:07,177
Apparently she's something
called "omnisexual."
343
00:13:07,221 --> 00:13:09,527
Ah, of course.
What the hell does that mean?
344
00:13:09,571 --> 00:13:12,269
I assume it means she only
has sex in Omni hotels.
345
00:13:12,313 --> 00:13:14,010
So you two better
start saving up.
346
00:13:14,054 --> 00:13:15,925
Not quite.
She's just progressive.
347
00:13:15,969 --> 00:13:18,623
It means she's open
to finding love from anyone.
348
00:13:18,667 --> 00:13:19,799
Sure.
349
00:13:19,842 --> 00:13:22,062
Well,
let the best anyone win.
350
00:13:22,105 --> 00:13:23,585
- Game on!
- Whoa!
351
00:13:23,628 --> 00:13:26,022
You two are getting
into some dangerous territory.
352
00:13:26,066 --> 00:13:27,719
Let me give you
some hard-earned advice
353
00:13:27,763 --> 00:13:29,112
from my days in Phil Collin--
354
00:13:29,156 --> 00:13:31,811
My Phil Collins tribute band
with my friend Collin.
355
00:13:31,854 --> 00:13:34,335
Wait, wait, wait.
You have a friend?
356
00:13:34,378 --> 00:13:37,120
I did.
But then Trisha got between us.
357
00:13:37,164 --> 00:13:40,036
Sure, I lost my virginity,
but I also lost my best friend,
358
00:13:40,080 --> 00:13:42,386
and they both
were very painful.
359
00:13:42,430 --> 00:13:43,823
- Oh.
- Ew.
360
00:13:43,866 --> 00:13:46,869
Trust me on this.
361
00:13:46,913 --> 00:13:48,784
- [exhales deeply]
- [mumbles]
362
00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:50,655
You know, he is right, Gary.
363
00:13:50,699 --> 00:13:52,919
Besides, the woman I was
with two nights ago told me
364
00:13:52,962 --> 00:13:55,747
I had to stop having
meaningless flings.
365
00:13:55,791 --> 00:13:58,402
I mean, I cannot remember
her name,
366
00:13:58,446 --> 00:14:00,404
but she was very wise.
367
00:14:00,448 --> 00:14:03,059
So how about
we just let this one go?
368
00:14:03,103 --> 00:14:04,582
All right, forget it.
369
00:14:04,626 --> 00:14:05,845
- All right.
- Yeah, man.
370
00:14:05,888 --> 00:14:07,455
I don't even remember
what it was about.
371
00:14:07,498 --> 00:14:09,761
I'm glad we cleared
that up, okay.
372
00:14:09,805 --> 00:14:11,154
Yeah, we did.
373
00:14:13,940 --> 00:14:16,246
[mumbling to self]
374
00:14:16,290 --> 00:14:19,380
Mika. You got time
to go car shopping with me?
375
00:14:19,423 --> 00:14:21,121
You know how bad I am
at negotiating.
376
00:14:21,164 --> 00:14:22,949
Birdie's allowance
is, like, a stack a week.
377
00:14:22,992 --> 00:14:24,341
Look, Kenan, I'm really busy.
378
00:14:24,385 --> 00:14:26,256
I'm still undoing all my
mac-and-cheese decisions.
379
00:14:26,300 --> 00:14:28,519
And by the way,
I couldn't unbook Chet Hanks,
380
00:14:28,563 --> 00:14:30,652
so you may have to
make jerk chicken with him.
381
00:14:30,695 --> 00:14:32,828
Chet Hanks.
382
00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:35,048
Oh--Well, now you definitely
owe me one.
383
00:14:35,091 --> 00:14:37,137
[sighs]
Fine.
384
00:14:39,617 --> 00:14:42,098
Okay, so, when I'm haggling,
if it looks like
385
00:14:42,142 --> 00:14:44,013
I'm going to cry, I'm not.
386
00:14:44,057 --> 00:14:46,450
If it looks like I'm going to
throw up, I'm not.
387
00:14:46,494 --> 00:14:49,801
if it looks like he's going to
cry and throw up, we winning.
388
00:14:49,845 --> 00:14:51,934
That's great advice.
Let's go get 'em.
389
00:14:51,978 --> 00:14:55,068
Wait a minute.
Keith Allen's Luxury Autos?
390
00:14:55,111 --> 00:14:56,460
Kenan, what are you doing?
391
00:14:56,504 --> 00:14:57,853
All right, I just happen
to be shopping
392
00:14:57,897 --> 00:14:59,681
for a fancy-ass car
from the guy
393
00:14:59,724 --> 00:15:02,640
that broke your heart
in a million little pieces.
394
00:15:02,684 --> 00:15:05,774
But, Mika, you never got over
your first fiancé,
395
00:15:05,817 --> 00:15:09,647
and now you are sabotaging all
your future chances at love.
396
00:15:09,691 --> 00:15:11,388
Now, come on in here
and talk to this man.
397
00:15:11,432 --> 00:15:13,477
You know what's funny, is
that I remember telling you
398
00:15:13,521 --> 00:15:17,003
to stay out of it, so, no,
we ain't going nowhere.
399
00:15:17,046 --> 00:15:19,962
Well, what kind of friend
would I be
400
00:15:20,006 --> 00:15:21,616
if I just listened
to you all the time?
401
00:15:21,659 --> 00:15:22,965
Uh, you'd be a smart friend.
402
00:15:23,009 --> 00:15:24,662
All right, come up
off my unlock button.
403
00:15:24,706 --> 00:15:27,230
You going to listen to me,
Kenan--we staying here.
404
00:15:27,274 --> 00:15:29,624
Hi. Welcome. Come to
test-drive a new vehicle today?
405
00:15:29,667 --> 00:15:32,670
No. No, no.
Thank you, no. De nada.
406
00:15:32,714 --> 00:15:34,585
Mika, talk to him.
407
00:15:34,629 --> 00:15:38,067
Get some closure.
It'll help you move on.
408
00:15:38,111 --> 00:15:40,243
Okay, fine.
409
00:15:42,028 --> 00:15:43,203
Keith Allen!
410
00:15:43,246 --> 00:15:44,987
- Mika Caldwell!
- Wow!
411
00:15:45,031 --> 00:15:48,730
- Come on.
- What a coincidence, huh?
412
00:15:48,773 --> 00:15:50,645
[chuckles]
You know, my friend here
413
00:15:50,688 --> 00:15:53,126
wants to buy
the most expensive car you got.
414
00:15:53,169 --> 00:15:55,171
- Oh.
- Uh, that is correct.
415
00:15:55,215 --> 00:15:57,521
I enjoy expensive things.
416
00:15:57,565 --> 00:16:00,698
I'm actually the owner of issue
number 30 of "X Men"...
417
00:16:00,742 --> 00:16:01,786
mint!
418
00:16:01,830 --> 00:16:04,137
Oh, oh, this guy's got taste.
419
00:16:07,531 --> 00:16:10,882
So here it is--
the most expensive car we have.
420
00:16:10,926 --> 00:16:12,362
Great.
421
00:16:12,406 --> 00:16:14,669
Uh, quick question--
you got any, uh, deals going on
422
00:16:14,712 --> 00:16:16,845
or, like, any rebates
with this baby?
423
00:16:16,888 --> 00:16:18,890
[laughing]
424
00:16:18,934 --> 00:16:20,414
- I'm joking.
- This guy.
425
00:16:20,457 --> 00:16:24,244
I'll just show myself
the car while y'all catch up.
426
00:16:24,287 --> 00:16:25,810
Let's see.
427
00:16:25,854 --> 00:16:29,031
Maybe give it a little smack,
talk to it.
428
00:16:29,075 --> 00:16:30,728
Uh, Lamborghini up.
429
00:16:30,772 --> 00:16:32,339
Uh, just push the button
right there.
430
00:16:32,382 --> 00:16:33,775
Oh, my bad.
431
00:16:33,818 --> 00:16:35,298
This must be one
of the older ones.
432
00:16:35,342 --> 00:16:38,432
No, it's a 2023.
433
00:16:38,475 --> 00:16:40,695
Yes, it is.
434
00:16:40,738 --> 00:16:42,523
This is so blowing my mind
right now.
435
00:16:42,566 --> 00:16:43,872
How long has it been since--
436
00:16:43,915 --> 00:16:46,614
11 years ago,
this Valentine's Day.
437
00:16:46,657 --> 00:16:49,051
Yeah, I remember because
we were supposed to get married
438
00:16:49,095 --> 00:16:50,835
on Valentine's Day, so...
439
00:16:50,879 --> 00:16:53,751
Hey, man, how much horsepower
is in these wipers?
440
00:16:53,795 --> 00:16:55,492
You know what?
I'll look it up online.
441
00:16:55,536 --> 00:16:56,711
Carry on.
442
00:16:56,754 --> 00:16:59,148
Well, let me say,
I'm really sorry.
443
00:16:59,192 --> 00:17:01,194
Oh, I don't want
your apologies, Keith.
444
00:17:01,237 --> 00:17:04,327
I just want to know
why you ghosted me.
445
00:17:04,371 --> 00:17:07,113
Like, what was
so wrong with me?
446
00:17:07,156 --> 00:17:08,505
Nothing.
447
00:17:08,549 --> 00:17:11,117
I just think
we really weren't vibing.
448
00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:12,335
[horn honks]
- Oh, oh.
449
00:17:12,379 --> 00:17:14,424
Sorry.
Horn works, though.
450
00:17:16,948 --> 00:17:18,776
So you walked away
from a four-year relationship
451
00:17:18,820 --> 00:17:21,562
six days before our wedding
because we weren't vibing?
452
00:17:21,605 --> 00:17:24,913
Mika, the truth is...
453
00:17:24,956 --> 00:17:27,002
I smoked a lot of weed
back then.
454
00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:28,699
I mean, if I knew
what stupid thought I had
455
00:17:28,743 --> 00:17:31,572
when I was 24, I'd tell you.
456
00:17:31,615 --> 00:17:33,922
But I just don't remember.
457
00:17:33,965 --> 00:17:35,271
Seriously?
458
00:17:35,315 --> 00:17:38,057
[horn honks, alarm blares]
- Oh! Uh, I'm sorry.
459
00:17:38,100 --> 00:17:40,015
Mika, Keith, can y'all help me
out here?
460
00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:43,366
I don't know what I did.
- Wow.
461
00:17:43,410 --> 00:17:44,672
Yo, we got a stucky!
462
00:17:44,715 --> 00:17:46,804
Sorry,
I'm the stucky, I guess.
463
00:17:52,636 --> 00:17:54,725
What the hell?
464
00:17:54,769 --> 00:17:56,945
I thought we agreed that
we were not going to let a girl
465
00:17:56,988 --> 00:17:59,600
get in between us
like Phil's band.
466
00:17:59,643 --> 00:18:01,123
What are you doing here?
467
00:18:01,167 --> 00:18:02,559
She DM'd me.
468
00:18:02,603 --> 00:18:05,258
Look, here's the thing, Pam...
469
00:18:05,301 --> 00:18:07,303
she fine as hell--that's it.
470
00:18:07,347 --> 00:18:08,522
Same reason you here, I bet.
471
00:18:08,565 --> 00:18:10,741
- She is very attractive.
- Yeah.
472
00:18:10,785 --> 00:18:12,961
But this doesn't make
any sense.
473
00:18:13,004 --> 00:18:15,703
She just DM'd me
to come over here.
474
00:18:15,746 --> 00:18:18,706
She DM'd you the same time
she DM'd me?
475
00:18:18,749 --> 00:18:20,795
You think it means
what I think it means?
476
00:18:20,838 --> 00:18:24,277
A threesome?
We cannot be that kind of band.
477
00:18:24,320 --> 00:18:26,583
We are not the Jonas Brothers.
478
00:18:26,627 --> 00:18:29,195
Or, hot take, are we?
479
00:18:31,458 --> 00:18:33,503
[sighs] Hmm.
480
00:18:36,506 --> 00:18:37,986
- All right.
- Yeah.
481
00:18:38,029 --> 00:18:39,640
- But I've got terms.
- Okay.
482
00:18:39,683 --> 00:18:40,989
- No eye contact.
- I hate eyes.
483
00:18:41,032 --> 00:18:42,425
- Leave your socks on.
- Always.
484
00:18:42,469 --> 00:18:44,079
And don't tell Phil.
485
00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:46,255
I turned him and his partner
down after the Christmas party.
486
00:18:46,299 --> 00:18:48,170
Wait, they asked me second?
487
00:18:48,214 --> 00:18:49,519
[scoffs] Damn.
488
00:18:49,563 --> 00:18:51,869
- Should I do push-ups?
- No.
489
00:18:51,913 --> 00:18:53,741
- Okay.
- We don't got time for that.
490
00:18:56,526 --> 00:18:59,007
Gary and Pam.
491
00:18:59,050 --> 00:19:01,096
I'm so glad you
both could make it.
492
00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:02,489
Come in.
493
00:19:02,532 --> 00:19:04,143
Get in there.
494
00:19:04,186 --> 00:19:07,146
You're just in time
for the customer testimonials.
495
00:19:07,189 --> 00:19:09,060
Girl... What?
496
00:19:09,104 --> 00:19:11,411
Ah, SmoothieLyfe?
497
00:19:11,454 --> 00:19:14,153
This is a damn pyramid scheme.
498
00:19:14,196 --> 00:19:15,328
I should have known.
499
00:19:15,371 --> 00:19:18,200
Nobody has
daytime threesomes anymore.
500
00:19:18,244 --> 00:19:21,334
Hey, guys, you're seeking
financial freedom, too?
501
00:19:21,377 --> 00:19:24,337
[dramatic music]
502
00:19:24,380 --> 00:19:26,165
♪
503
00:19:26,208 --> 00:19:27,340
I got nothing.
504
00:19:27,383 --> 00:19:28,906
No closure?
505
00:19:28,950 --> 00:19:31,213
Not only did I not get any
closure.
506
00:19:31,257 --> 00:19:34,042
I feel ten times worse.
I got "unclosure."
507
00:19:34,085 --> 00:19:36,044
Wouldn't that just be opened?
508
00:19:36,087 --> 00:19:38,873
All right, well, what reason
would make you feel better?
509
00:19:38,916 --> 00:19:40,266
I don't know. Anything.
510
00:19:40,309 --> 00:19:42,137
Okay, so what if he said,
"I cheated on you"?
511
00:19:42,181 --> 00:19:44,139
Would that be better?
- No.
512
00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:45,793
What if he said
his mama couldn't stand you?
513
00:19:45,836 --> 00:19:47,664
Oh, no, definitely not.
No, his mama loved me.
514
00:19:47,708 --> 00:19:50,406
We're still Facebook friends,
She be like, like, like, like.
515
00:19:50,450 --> 00:19:52,669
- [laughs] That's weird.
- Yeah.
516
00:19:52,713 --> 00:19:55,019
All right, what if he said,
"I'm an addict?"
517
00:19:55,063 --> 00:19:57,239
- Mm.
- Or, "I'm gay"?
518
00:19:57,283 --> 00:19:59,546
- Hmm.
- Or, "It's not you it's me"?
519
00:19:59,589 --> 00:20:01,243
- Ugh.
- "The Devil made me do it"?
520
00:20:01,287 --> 00:20:03,767
Come on, Mika,
these are good reasons.
521
00:20:03,811 --> 00:20:05,116
You know what?
522
00:20:05,160 --> 00:20:06,770
I don't think there's anything
he could've said
523
00:20:06,814 --> 00:20:08,555
that would've made me feel
any better.
524
00:20:08,598 --> 00:20:10,992
So what?
You never get closure?
525
00:20:11,035 --> 00:20:13,951
Maybe I don't get closure
from him.
526
00:20:13,995 --> 00:20:17,303
I mean, I guess I just have
to make the choice to move on
527
00:20:17,346 --> 00:20:19,914
and...be happy.
528
00:20:19,957 --> 00:20:21,916
And I really want to be happy.
529
00:20:21,959 --> 00:20:25,659
Sounds like someone
just found some closure.
530
00:20:25,702 --> 00:20:27,400
So I guess my plan
worked after all.
531
00:20:27,443 --> 00:20:30,272
Okay. You're playing
accidentally worked.
532
00:20:30,316 --> 00:20:31,621
Thanks, Kenan.
533
00:20:31,665 --> 00:20:33,101
I'm going to call Nick
and apologize.
534
00:20:33,144 --> 00:20:34,668
Oh, tell him I got
those Hawks tickets.
535
00:20:34,711 --> 00:20:36,235
Yep.
536
00:20:36,278 --> 00:20:38,454
The view is obstructed,
but they're still good seats.
537
00:20:38,498 --> 00:20:40,282
Ready for that test-drive?
538
00:20:40,326 --> 00:20:42,110
Oh, uh, actually, no.
539
00:20:42,153 --> 00:20:43,851
I don't need a car after all.
540
00:20:43,894 --> 00:20:45,896
Oh, but this isn't a car,
Mr. Williams.
541
00:20:45,940 --> 00:20:46,854
This is a lifestyle.
542
00:20:46,897 --> 00:20:49,117
Uh, yeah, okay.
543
00:20:49,160 --> 00:20:50,814
Man, that girl crazy as hell,
544
00:20:50,858 --> 00:20:52,729
but she about to make me
the smoothie king, though.
545
00:20:52,773 --> 00:20:54,905
Whoa, this is
what a threesome with Phil
546
00:20:54,949 --> 00:20:56,516
and his partner
would taste like.
547
00:20:56,559 --> 00:20:58,257
Man, what is all this crap?
548
00:20:58,300 --> 00:20:59,693
I cannot believe y'all
549
00:20:59,736 --> 00:21:02,304
are out here
buying stuff you don't need.
550
00:21:02,348 --> 00:21:04,524
[car alarm chirps]
[clears throat]
551
00:21:04,567 --> 00:21:06,439
Did you just buy a car?
552
00:21:06,482 --> 00:21:10,312
Oh, I didn't buy a car.
I leased a lifestyle.
553
00:21:12,445 --> 00:21:14,751
Does that lifestyle come with
selling smoothies, brother?
554
00:21:14,795 --> 00:21:16,884
'Cause that lifestyle
seems expensive.
555
00:21:16,934 --> 00:21:21,484
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