Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:07,720 --> 00:00:09,960
Good morning.
You must be Steven Toast.
2
00:00:09,995 --> 00:00:12,077
How are you today?
I'm fine, thanks.
3
00:00:12,112 --> 00:00:14,125
And I trust you're well?
Amazing.
4
00:00:14,160 --> 00:00:17,880
Another Canadian.
You guys are taking over this town.
5
00:00:17,915 --> 00:00:20,125
I'm not Canadian.
6
00:00:20,160 --> 00:00:23,720
Hold your horses.
Is that Scramble Studios in London?
7
00:00:26,120 --> 00:00:29,080
Yeah, Scramble is one of our
sister studios.
8
00:00:29,115 --> 00:00:31,320
We've got studios
all over the world.
9
00:00:31,355 --> 00:00:32,485
Is that right?
10
00:00:32,520 --> 00:00:35,480
Sure. I'm due to fly out
to the London studio next month
11
00:00:35,515 --> 00:00:37,805
as part of our
staff exchange scheme.
12
00:00:37,840 --> 00:00:42,560
I can't wait. I'm super-excited,
it's going to be so super-cool.
13
00:00:42,595 --> 00:00:44,645
Sounds fascinating.
14
00:00:44,680 --> 00:00:47,000
Hey, do you know Donald Sutherland?
15
00:00:47,035 --> 00:00:48,560
Isn't he Canadian?
16
00:00:48,595 --> 00:00:50,077
Is he single?
17
00:00:50,112 --> 00:00:51,525
I've no idea.
18
00:00:51,560 --> 00:00:53,660
He's a bit old for you, isn't he?
19
00:00:53,695 --> 00:00:55,760
Hey, if Daddy can raise the bridge,
20
00:00:55,795 --> 00:00:57,840
then Mama's river be flowing.
21
00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:01,565
Good grief.
22
00:01:01,600 --> 00:01:05,720
Erm, I'm due to record,
and I'm guessing it's through there.
23
00:01:05,755 --> 00:01:09,000
Sure. Studio one.
Go right in. They're ready for you.
24
00:01:09,035 --> 00:01:10,440
Thanking you.
25
00:01:14,560 --> 00:01:17,000
Would you mind if I raised
this microphone?
26
00:01:17,035 --> 00:01:19,000
Make yourself comfortable, Steven.
27
00:01:21,600 --> 00:01:24,560
Hello, Steven, this is
Clem Fandango. Welcome to LA.
28
00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:06,040
{\an8}Of all the recording studios
in the world,
29
00:02:06,075 --> 00:02:09,240
I end up in the same one
as you two clowns.
30
00:02:09,275 --> 00:02:10,685
Is it always this hot?
31
00:02:10,720 --> 00:02:13,080
I mean, I'm going to pass out
in here.
32
00:02:13,115 --> 00:02:15,237
Got to say,
I kind of like the heat, man.
33
00:02:15,272 --> 00:02:17,325
Always wanted to live out here
in LA.
34
00:02:17,360 --> 00:02:20,960
"Man"? You've only been here
ten minutes, you idiot.
35
00:02:20,995 --> 00:02:22,445
But this is too hot.
36
00:02:22,480 --> 00:02:24,800
Hi, Steven, this is Clem Fandango.
Can you hear me?
37
00:02:24,835 --> 00:02:25,805
Yes, unfortunately.
38
00:02:25,840 --> 00:02:28,780
I'm afraid the air-con in the
vocal booth broke down last night.
39
00:02:28,815 --> 00:02:31,720
Oh! Means it's 27 degrees hotter
in there than it is in here.
40
00:02:31,755 --> 00:02:32,925
Oh, God!
41
00:02:32,960 --> 00:02:35,560
Also bad timing, I'm afraid,
Steven, it's the hottest day
42
00:02:35,595 --> 00:02:38,080
there's ever been in LA.
Oh, for God's sake!
43
00:02:38,115 --> 00:02:39,845
Don't you just love it?
44
00:02:39,880 --> 00:02:42,085
No. All right, let's crack on.
45
00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:45,520
The quicker we finish this, the
sooner I can get out of this oven.
46
00:02:45,555 --> 00:02:47,720
OK, Steven, pepper spray,
take one.
47
00:02:50,200 --> 00:02:52,685
Fed up with people
knocking at your door?
48
00:02:52,720 --> 00:02:57,000
Well, one sharp burst of Corden's
pepper spray will make anyone
49
00:02:57,035 --> 00:02:59,125
think twice about ringing your bell.
50
00:02:59,160 --> 00:03:03,440
Corden's criminal deterrents -
America's favourite pepper spray.
51
00:03:07,760 --> 00:03:10,205
Perfect. That was great, Steven,
real swell.
52
00:03:10,240 --> 00:03:12,800
We'll shoot that over to the client,
see what gives.
53
00:03:12,835 --> 00:03:14,360
What is this snake oil?
54
00:03:15,480 --> 00:03:17,080
Corden's pepper spray.
55
00:03:25,800 --> 00:03:27,285
Huh.
56
00:03:27,320 --> 00:03:29,840
Wonder what could have caused that.
Must be the heat.
57
00:03:29,875 --> 00:03:32,005
Mm.
58
00:03:32,040 --> 00:03:33,960
Get... me... out.
59
00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:39,725
What am I doing here?
60
00:03:39,760 --> 00:03:42,565
Look at Russ Nightlife.
Who is he?
61
00:03:42,600 --> 00:03:46,400
He's a grown man doing a jigsaw
puzzle like some geriatric
62
00:03:46,435 --> 00:03:49,880
in a care home.
Definitely an odd fish.
63
00:03:49,915 --> 00:03:51,365
And I should know.
64
00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:53,965
I've swum with a few in MY time.
65
00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:58,680
What a loser. I hope I never end up
like that - sad, lonely,
66
00:03:58,715 --> 00:04:03,360
without hope, pathetically
assembling a ludicrous jigsaw
67
00:04:03,395 --> 00:04:06,085
just to pass the endless hours.
68
00:04:06,120 --> 00:04:08,760
You know,
I could read your thoughts.
69
00:04:08,795 --> 00:04:10,720
What?! You're thinking about sex.
70
00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:15,440
I'm not, actually.
I'm meeting a friend tonight.
71
00:04:15,475 --> 00:04:18,600
I was thinking
about booking a restaurant.
72
00:04:18,635 --> 00:04:20,365
A friend?
Yes.
73
00:04:20,400 --> 00:04:23,000
What, like a lady friend?
74
00:04:23,035 --> 00:04:24,360
Yes.
75
00:04:25,720 --> 00:04:28,560
Well, I'm telling you now,
don't ever bring her back here,
76
00:04:28,595 --> 00:04:31,400
I can't have anyone just sniffing
around the joint, all right?
77
00:04:31,435 --> 00:04:32,800
All right.
78
00:04:39,760 --> 00:04:42,325
Are you planning
to have sex with her?
79
00:04:42,360 --> 00:04:48,240
What? The thought of you having sex
under my roof disgusts me.
80
00:04:48,275 --> 00:04:51,200
It's a stupid question anyway.
I mean, look at you.
81
00:04:52,480 --> 00:04:55,365
I beg your pardon?
If you do have sex with her,
82
00:04:55,400 --> 00:04:58,720
I want you to inject yourself
with a millilitre of this.
83
00:04:58,755 --> 00:05:00,045
Do what?!
84
00:05:00,080 --> 00:05:01,920
It doesn't hurt. Look.
85
00:05:12,800 --> 00:05:15,200
Ugh! Aghhh!
86
00:05:16,960 --> 00:05:18,860
What the hell?
87
00:05:18,895 --> 00:05:20,760
Jesus Christ, man!
88
00:05:24,200 --> 00:05:26,320
Toast, I'm joking.
89
00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:34,760
Oh, you need to lighten up a little,
man.
90
00:05:34,795 --> 00:05:35,840
Oh!
91
00:05:39,080 --> 00:05:40,760
Jesus Christ.
92
00:05:42,160 --> 00:05:45,085
Easing it in... slowly.
93
00:05:45,120 --> 00:05:48,680
And now a persistent rhythmic
movement.
94
00:05:48,715 --> 00:05:50,125
Oh, yes.
95
00:05:50,160 --> 00:05:51,800
In an accelerating motion.
96
00:05:51,835 --> 00:05:53,085
Oh, God.
97
00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:56,480
Quickly followed
by a... rapid emission.
98
00:05:56,515 --> 00:05:57,840
Good God!
99
00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:00,485
Oh!
100
00:06:00,520 --> 00:06:05,200
The act was completed in
pretty much the same time period
101
00:06:05,235 --> 00:06:06,605
as the previous procedure
102
00:06:06,640 --> 00:06:10,280
last Tuesday,
3 minutes and 28 seconds.
103
00:06:11,400 --> 00:06:12,685
It's all a bit...
104
00:06:12,720 --> 00:06:15,760
A bit what?
A bit clinical, isn't it?
105
00:06:15,795 --> 00:06:17,885
But I am a clinical sexologist.
106
00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:21,400
Yeah, but do you need to make notes
while we're actually making love?
107
00:06:21,435 --> 00:06:25,000
Oh, yes. It's very important
to make notes during the procedure
108
00:06:25,035 --> 00:06:26,885
rather than having to rely
on memory.
109
00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:31,060
And even the word "procedure" -
it's not very romantic, is it?
110
00:06:31,095 --> 00:06:35,200
"Romantic" is not a word
easily defined in scientific terms.
111
00:06:35,235 --> 00:06:38,120
This IS a relationship, isn't it?
Just to be clear.
112
00:06:38,155 --> 00:06:39,525
Oh, yes.
113
00:06:39,560 --> 00:06:43,565
I draw a very clear distinction
between sex with you
114
00:06:43,600 --> 00:06:47,120
and sex with people I'm sleeping
with for research purposes.
115
00:06:49,920 --> 00:06:51,245
Glad to hear it.
116
00:06:51,280 --> 00:06:55,920
Except, in this case, when it kills
two birds with one stone,
117
00:06:55,955 --> 00:06:57,800
as you Brits like to say.
118
00:07:01,960 --> 00:07:05,405
Shepherd, there's another man
in bed with us.
119
00:07:05,440 --> 00:07:09,840
Yes, he's a fellow professor
accompanying me on field work.
120
00:07:09,875 --> 00:07:11,885
Does he have to be here?
121
00:07:11,920 --> 00:07:15,240
Professor Map? Yes. Yes, he does.
122
00:07:15,275 --> 00:07:16,685
Right.
123
00:07:16,720 --> 00:07:20,800
It's rather taken me by surprise
seeing him in bed here with us.
124
00:07:20,835 --> 00:07:23,765
Very well. Professor Map...
125
00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:28,000
Wurde es Ihnen etwas ausmachen,
uns bitte zu verlassen?
126
00:07:35,280 --> 00:07:38,320
It's only 11.30.
What say we go for a walk?
127
00:07:38,355 --> 00:07:39,805
We can stop at a cafe.
128
00:07:39,840 --> 00:07:43,120
You fancy a cappuccino bianco
in the shade?
129
00:07:43,155 --> 00:07:44,960
Or maybe a cocktail at high noon?
130
00:07:44,995 --> 00:07:46,885
I can't.
131
00:07:46,920 --> 00:07:49,885
I have to go
and have sex with someone else.
132
00:07:49,920 --> 00:07:52,560
How many other men are you having
sex with on this project?
133
00:07:52,595 --> 00:07:54,080
Oh, I would say somewhere in the...
134
00:07:54,115 --> 00:07:57,125
Oh! Goddamn it!
135
00:07:57,160 --> 00:07:59,800
I really have to get these
organised.
136
00:07:59,835 --> 00:08:02,337
What are they?
Score cards.
137
00:08:02,372 --> 00:08:04,805
You give scores for performance?
138
00:08:04,840 --> 00:08:07,940
I'm guessing I'd be
in the higher points bracket.
139
00:08:07,975 --> 00:08:10,927
Oh, I haven't filled out
your score card yet, Toast.
140
00:08:10,962 --> 00:08:13,880
I only do that when I've completed
a full assessment
141
00:08:13,915 --> 00:08:15,365
of the participants' performance.
142
00:08:15,400 --> 00:08:18,120
Yeah, but I'm guessing I'd be
pretty up there, wouldn't you say?
143
00:08:18,155 --> 00:08:21,120
I'm sorry, Toast.
That's confidential information.
144
00:08:21,155 --> 00:08:22,480
Oh-ho-ha!
145
00:08:23,560 --> 00:08:26,320
I really need to get
this shit together.
146
00:08:26,355 --> 00:08:28,365
Maybe my daughter could do it.
147
00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:31,525
I must admit,
I'm very fond of you, Shepherd,
148
00:08:31,560 --> 00:08:34,205
so it's only natural
that I should be slightly jealous,
149
00:08:34,240 --> 00:08:37,800
seeing as you're sleeping with
literally dozens, if not hundreds,
150
00:08:37,835 --> 00:08:40,205
of other men, including me.
151
00:08:40,240 --> 00:08:43,080
But as long as I know
that I'm the special one,
152
00:08:43,115 --> 00:08:44,605
then I'm absolutely...
153
00:08:44,640 --> 00:08:47,120
..fine with it.
You sure you're fine with it?
154
00:08:47,155 --> 00:08:49,837
Sounds a little goddamn weird to me.
155
00:08:49,872 --> 00:08:52,520
You couldn't be more wrong,
Hooberman.
156
00:08:52,555 --> 00:08:54,645
She's a professional psychologist,
157
00:08:54,680 --> 00:08:58,920
perfectly capable of distinguishing
between business and pleasure.
158
00:08:58,955 --> 00:09:01,040
They're business, I'm pleasure.
159
00:09:03,080 --> 00:09:04,605
Who's that fella?
160
00:09:04,640 --> 00:09:09,360
Sonny-Sam Dysco, they say he's going
to be the next goddamn big thing.
161
00:09:09,395 --> 00:09:11,245
He's got a whole billboard
to himself.
162
00:09:11,280 --> 00:09:13,720
Wouldn't mind a slice
of that action myself.
163
00:09:13,755 --> 00:09:15,805
Anything juicy coming up for me?
164
00:09:15,840 --> 00:09:18,880
How would you like to play
another butler?
165
00:09:18,915 --> 00:09:20,205
I'd hate that.
166
00:09:20,240 --> 00:09:22,405
Weech Beacon needs a butler.
167
00:09:22,440 --> 00:09:25,620
He's about to make a huge
goddamn movie,
168
00:09:25,655 --> 00:09:28,800
so the dollars will be a plenty,
Daddy-o.
169
00:09:28,835 --> 00:09:30,845
Weech Beacon?
170
00:09:30,880 --> 00:09:35,400
Weech Beacon, talented director,
also a major league asshole.
171
00:09:35,435 --> 00:09:38,520
I've never heard of that league.
Sounds prestigious.
172
00:09:38,555 --> 00:09:40,005
Well, if he likes the look of you,
173
00:09:40,040 --> 00:09:42,485
he'll probably offer you the job
on the spot.
174
00:09:42,520 --> 00:09:45,640
He's pretty impulsive that way.
You want to meet him?
175
00:09:45,675 --> 00:09:48,760
Well, if the dollars are plenty,
Mummy-o, why not?
176
00:09:48,795 --> 00:09:49,965
I'll text him.
177
00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:53,280
He's probably at The Dive.
He hangs out there all the time.
178
00:09:53,315 --> 00:09:57,045
The Dive? They tell me
it's the hippest bar in town
179
00:09:57,080 --> 00:10:02,120
but, hell, my ass is as old as time,
so what would I goddamn know?
180
00:10:04,760 --> 00:10:07,760
Oh, we're pretty damn close.
I'll text him now.
181
00:10:14,240 --> 00:10:15,960
Asshole!
182
00:10:50,440 --> 00:10:53,405
Like I said, Red's on board.
Are you sure?
183
00:10:53,440 --> 00:10:56,440
He might even bring Jen with him.
Who knows? Sure?
184
00:10:56,475 --> 00:10:58,245
Relax, baby.
185
00:10:58,280 --> 00:11:00,360
The chicken's in the basket, huh?
186
00:11:00,395 --> 00:11:01,685
Chicken's in the basket.
187
00:11:01,720 --> 00:11:05,480
Are you Toast?
I'm Steven Toast. Good afternoon.
188
00:11:05,515 --> 00:11:07,925
You came in costume. I like that.
189
00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:12,880
I'm Weech Beacon, and this is
my producer, Ben Egyptian.
190
00:11:12,915 --> 00:11:15,005
Hi, Steven.
191
00:11:15,040 --> 00:11:19,240
I got to go.
See you later, Ben.
192
00:11:19,275 --> 00:11:21,365
Hey, sit.
193
00:11:21,400 --> 00:11:24,165
All right.
Yeah, Ben couldn't stay.
194
00:11:24,200 --> 00:11:26,960
He's gotta go square things
with his daughter.
195
00:11:26,995 --> 00:11:29,720
It's the 16th time
he's missed her birthday.
196
00:11:29,755 --> 00:11:32,037
Yeah.
197
00:11:32,072 --> 00:11:34,320
Jesus.
198
00:11:35,840 --> 00:11:39,680
You know what?
You look exactly like a waiter,
199
00:11:39,715 --> 00:11:43,720
but also exactly like a butler.
200
00:11:43,755 --> 00:11:46,037
Yeah, you'll be perfect.
201
00:11:46,072 --> 00:11:48,320
I'm just going to tell Brad.
202
00:11:48,355 --> 00:11:50,045
That's all very good.
203
00:11:50,080 --> 00:11:52,205
Sorry,
I've drunk rather a lot of water,
204
00:11:52,240 --> 00:11:55,320
so I'll need to use the men's room.
Do you know where it's located?
205
00:11:59,840 --> 00:12:02,920
What, that?
Yeah.
206
00:12:05,560 --> 00:12:07,200
Really? What?
207
00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:45,960
Must have drunk a gallon of water.
Is it always this hot?
208
00:12:45,995 --> 00:12:47,497
Actually...
209
00:12:47,532 --> 00:12:48,965
Oh, damn.
210
00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:51,400
That chilli went
straight through me.
211
00:12:55,240 --> 00:12:56,685
Whoa!
212
00:12:56,720 --> 00:12:58,720
Goddamn chilli.
Good God.
213
00:12:58,755 --> 00:13:00,160
Jesus Christ!
214
00:13:00,195 --> 00:13:01,400
Oh!
215
00:13:05,240 --> 00:13:09,660
You say the line, "May I offer you
some wine, Herr Shimmerman?"
216
00:13:09,695 --> 00:13:14,080
"Shimmerman." And then hand
the glass to him from the tray.
217
00:13:14,115 --> 00:13:15,937
OK, doesn't sound too difficult.
218
00:13:15,972 --> 00:13:17,725
Hey, this is a crucial scene,
219
00:13:17,760 --> 00:13:20,640
and I'm planning to do it all
in one ten-minute take.
220
00:13:20,675 --> 00:13:22,725
There'll be a long tracking shot.
221
00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:26,680
I'm using 2.000 extras, dancing
girls, and well over 1.000 horses,
222
00:13:26,715 --> 00:13:31,445
and then everything will focus
on you,
223
00:13:31,480 --> 00:13:34,800
and the shot will probably cost
about $3 million,
224
00:13:34,835 --> 00:13:38,560
so, yeah,
you better not screw it up.
225
00:13:38,595 --> 00:13:40,600
Well, no pressure, then.
226
00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:44,445
Shit.
Oh, dear.
227
00:13:44,480 --> 00:13:48,005
No. LOTS of pressure.
228
00:13:48,040 --> 00:13:50,080
I know, I was just being sarcastic.
229
00:13:50,115 --> 00:13:52,085
You were being what? Sarcastic.
230
00:13:52,120 --> 00:13:54,440
Well, that's a British thing,
sarcasm.
231
00:13:54,475 --> 00:13:57,000
We don't do that here in LA, OK?
232
00:13:57,035 --> 00:13:58,760
Say the goddamn line!
233
00:14:00,200 --> 00:14:02,080
May I offer you some wine,
234
00:14:02,115 --> 00:14:03,445
Mr Shimmershine?
235
00:14:03,480 --> 00:14:05,445
Shimmerman! Shimmerman.
236
00:14:05,480 --> 00:14:07,880
Jesus.
Sorry, I just got the name wrong.
237
00:14:07,915 --> 00:14:09,760
Would you mind if I took that again?
238
00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:14,820
I could have offered this role
to any slack Jack Harris in town.
239
00:14:14,855 --> 00:14:18,040
Harris? But you got the part
because you look like a butler.
240
00:14:18,075 --> 00:14:23,720
And remember, this set-up
is going to cost $3 million.
241
00:14:23,755 --> 00:14:25,165
Right.
242
00:14:25,200 --> 00:14:26,720
Don't fuck it up, buddy.
243
00:14:26,755 --> 00:14:27,965
Understood.
244
00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:30,080
Yeah, it better be.
245
00:14:32,800 --> 00:14:34,280
Jesus Christ.
246
00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:41,920
Look at you, you dirty dog.
247
00:14:43,640 --> 00:14:46,000
Have you been a naughty mongrel?
248
00:14:48,800 --> 00:14:50,420
What's that?
249
00:14:50,455 --> 00:14:52,005
Good grief.
250
00:14:52,040 --> 00:14:54,340
I wondered where that went.
251
00:14:54,375 --> 00:14:56,605
You nasty, thieving mutt.
252
00:14:56,640 --> 00:14:58,720
Someone's getting punished now.
253
00:14:58,755 --> 00:15:00,440
Severely punished.
254
00:15:02,560 --> 00:15:05,840
Has anyone ever told you that
you actually do look like a dog?
255
00:15:05,875 --> 00:15:09,040
Yes. Some people have remarked on it
before.
256
00:15:09,075 --> 00:15:11,125
Shut up, Dogface!
257
00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:15,920
Shepherd, I'm not sure
this S&M stuff is for me.
258
00:15:15,955 --> 00:15:17,685
Are you serious?
259
00:15:17,720 --> 00:15:20,680
We haven't even introduced
the man in the mask yet.
260
00:15:20,715 --> 00:15:21,805
Who?
261
00:15:21,840 --> 00:15:25,320
I auditioned a lot of people
to help me out with our little game.
262
00:15:25,355 --> 00:15:29,440
You want to see this guy.
He has no inhibitions whatsoever.
263
00:15:29,475 --> 00:15:32,920
Jesus.
Man in the mask, enter.
264
00:15:34,720 --> 00:15:37,200
I'm ready to be your slave,
O Mistress.
265
00:15:37,235 --> 00:15:39,040
Hang about.
Huh?
266
00:15:40,240 --> 00:15:42,140
Ed?!
267
00:15:42,175 --> 00:15:44,005
Toast!
268
00:15:44,040 --> 00:15:45,485
How are you finding LA?
269
00:15:45,520 --> 00:15:48,005
What the hell are you doing here,
Ed?
270
00:15:48,040 --> 00:15:50,560
I was visiting friends and happened
to see an advertisement
271
00:15:50,595 --> 00:15:52,240
in a local cafe.
What the hell is going on?
272
00:15:52,275 --> 00:15:53,525
Do you two know each other?
273
00:15:53,560 --> 00:15:56,520
Yes, we used to be housemates
in London.
274
00:15:56,555 --> 00:15:58,165
I was going to look you up, Toast,
275
00:15:58,200 --> 00:16:00,240
but I wasn't expecting to meet you
like this.
276
00:16:00,275 --> 00:16:01,525
Can't say I'm surprised.
277
00:16:01,560 --> 00:16:04,240
Could never resist a kinky knees-up,
could you, Ed?
278
00:16:04,275 --> 00:16:06,725
A kinky knees-up?
279
00:16:06,760 --> 00:16:09,245
Oh, I like the sound of that.
280
00:16:09,280 --> 00:16:12,040
So, since we're all here,
let's get down to business.
281
00:16:12,075 --> 00:16:14,240
Starting on Toast,
is that right, mistress?
282
00:16:14,275 --> 00:16:16,240
Are you ready, man in the mask?
283
00:16:16,275 --> 00:16:17,525
Oh, yes.
284
00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:20,960
Then, if it's OK, me next.
285
00:16:23,160 --> 00:16:24,800
Shit.
286
00:16:28,680 --> 00:16:29,805
How was your day?
287
00:16:29,840 --> 00:16:32,380
Well, apart from my
sexually-liberated girlfriend
288
00:16:32,415 --> 00:16:34,885
who insisted on stringing me up
and whipping me
289
00:16:34,920 --> 00:16:39,040
in front of my old roommate from
London who was dressed in rubber,
290
00:16:39,075 --> 00:16:40,645
I'd say pretty ordinary.
291
00:16:40,680 --> 00:16:42,885
It is hard in LA
to find your footing,
292
00:16:42,920 --> 00:16:44,840
but at least you have
this other acting job.
293
00:16:44,875 --> 00:16:46,200
What's your line again?
294
00:16:46,235 --> 00:16:47,725
Oh.
295
00:16:47,760 --> 00:16:51,800
"May I offer you some wine,
Herr Shimmer... ton?"
296
00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:56,120
Herr Shimmerson.
297
00:16:56,155 --> 00:16:58,360
Shimmergroove.
298
00:16:59,920 --> 00:17:01,920
Herr... Shimmerguff.
299
00:17:03,760 --> 00:17:06,460
Herr Shimmertree.
300
00:17:06,495 --> 00:17:09,160
Herr Shimmerblue.
301
00:17:10,640 --> 00:17:13,660
Herr Shimmerfoot.
302
00:17:13,695 --> 00:17:16,507
Herr Shimmersquare.
303
00:17:16,542 --> 00:17:19,320
Herr Shimmerhair.
304
00:17:25,280 --> 00:17:28,920
Hello, my name is Liberty.
Are you Sandwich?
305
00:17:28,955 --> 00:17:30,485
What?
306
00:17:30,520 --> 00:17:32,325
No, not Sandwich, Toast.
307
00:17:32,360 --> 00:17:36,285
Toast! I'm so sorry.
Mr Toast, not Mr Sandwich.
308
00:17:36,320 --> 00:17:40,120
Mr Toast, I'm afraid I'm going
to need to take that chair, sir.
309
00:17:40,155 --> 00:17:41,517
What, this chair?
310
00:17:41,552 --> 00:17:42,845
That chair, yes.
311
00:17:42,880 --> 00:17:44,940
The director has asked me to get him
a chair,
312
00:17:44,975 --> 00:17:47,000
but as soon as I find another one,
Mr Toast,
313
00:17:47,035 --> 00:17:48,800
I'll bring it straight over here.
314
00:17:51,440 --> 00:17:54,480
Oh, he's also asked
you don't move from this spot,
315
00:17:54,515 --> 00:17:56,120
otherwise you could be in shot.
316
00:18:06,640 --> 00:18:08,000
Jesus Christ, if...
317
00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:12,840
Bloody hell, you could have
killed me, you dozy bastard.
318
00:18:12,875 --> 00:18:14,405
What?
319
00:18:14,440 --> 00:18:17,120
What the hell did he call us?
Fucking loser.
320
00:18:17,155 --> 00:18:19,377
So, there you go. One trumpet.
321
00:18:19,412 --> 00:18:21,806
I didn't ask for a trumpet.
322
00:18:21,841 --> 00:18:24,165
Oh, wait. You wanted a chair.
323
00:18:24,200 --> 00:18:26,800
A chair? Yes.
Unless you want me to sit on that.
324
00:18:26,835 --> 00:18:28,917
I'm so sorry, Mr Toast.
325
00:18:28,952 --> 00:18:30,936
This is my first day.
326
00:18:30,971 --> 00:18:32,920
Who ordered the trumpet?
327
00:18:32,955 --> 00:18:34,525
This is ridiculous.
328
00:18:34,560 --> 00:18:38,120
You might want to get rid of this
before someone falls arse over tit.
329
00:18:38,155 --> 00:18:39,440
Absolutely.
330
00:18:43,440 --> 00:18:46,080
Toast! Get your ass over here!
331
00:18:47,520 --> 00:18:52,080
I can't tell you how important it is
that you don't mess up this shot.
332
00:18:52,115 --> 00:18:55,677
It's going to be a ten-minute
one-shot take.
333
00:18:55,712 --> 00:18:59,240
At the end of it, you walk in,
say your line.
334
00:19:01,560 --> 00:19:02,885
You know your line, right?
335
00:19:02,920 --> 00:19:07,160
Yeah. "May I offer you some wine,
Herr Shimmershoo?"
336
00:19:07,195 --> 00:19:08,685
Shimmerman! Jesus Christ!
337
00:19:08,720 --> 00:19:11,240
Sorry. Do I look like
the cream cheese fairy, huh?
338
00:19:11,275 --> 00:19:12,920
I don't know.
I don't know who that is.
339
00:19:12,955 --> 00:19:14,960
Am I a chicken in a basket?
340
00:19:14,995 --> 00:19:16,445
Again, I'm not sure.
341
00:19:16,480 --> 00:19:19,600
This set-up costs $3 million.
342
00:19:19,635 --> 00:19:20,800
How much did it cost?
343
00:19:20,835 --> 00:19:22,165
Three million.
344
00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:23,565
Yeah, that's right.
345
00:19:23,600 --> 00:19:26,160
So you'd better get it right, baby.
One chance.
346
00:19:26,195 --> 00:19:27,320
How many chances?
347
00:19:27,355 --> 00:19:28,925
One.
348
00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:31,060
OK, everybody ready.
349
00:19:31,095 --> 00:19:33,160
Positions, please.
350
00:19:35,120 --> 00:19:36,480
Hey!
351
00:19:41,040 --> 00:19:43,120
Fucking...
352
00:19:57,880 --> 00:20:01,520
May I offer you some wine,
Herr Shimmelshine?
353
00:20:01,555 --> 00:20:03,157
Whoa!
354
00:20:03,192 --> 00:20:04,760
Damn it!
355
00:20:06,600 --> 00:20:07,920
What?!
356
00:20:14,920 --> 00:20:18,080
How do you think that scene went
just now?
357
00:20:18,115 --> 00:20:19,725
Not great, to be honest.
358
00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:22,240
I tripped on a skateboard
and buggered up my line.
359
00:20:22,275 --> 00:20:24,005
Yeah, yeah.
360
00:20:24,040 --> 00:20:26,685
Forgive me,
my memory's a little hazy,
361
00:20:26,720 --> 00:20:30,600
but at any point did I tell you
it was absolutely crucial
362
00:20:30,635 --> 00:20:34,317
that you got your shit together,
because if you didn't,
363
00:20:34,352 --> 00:20:38,000
you could totally fuck up a shot
that cost $3 million?!
364
00:20:39,600 --> 00:20:42,640
You... You remember that?
365
00:20:42,675 --> 00:20:44,837
Yeah, I remember.
366
00:20:44,872 --> 00:20:47,000
OK, Steven Toast...
367
00:20:49,160 --> 00:20:51,600
..what do you think we should do
now?
368
00:20:51,635 --> 00:20:53,565
I don't know, er,
369
00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:56,480
reset and shoot the scene again?
370
00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:03,965
OK, I see what we got here.
371
00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:06,260
Take off your pants.
I beg your pardon?
372
00:21:06,295 --> 00:21:08,520
Take them down
and bend over the table.
373
00:21:08,555 --> 00:21:10,040
What the...?
Now!
374
00:21:11,280 --> 00:21:13,500
Hey, Ben. Hey, Weech. Just in time.
375
00:21:13,535 --> 00:21:15,720
You want a piece of the action?
376
00:21:18,640 --> 00:21:20,605
Is this absolutely necessary?
377
00:21:20,640 --> 00:21:24,085
Well, it won't bring me
my money back,
378
00:21:24,120 --> 00:21:27,000
but I'll feel
a whole shitload better about it.
379
00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:29,605
Grip the desk.
380
00:21:29,640 --> 00:21:31,680
Hey, Mr Toast, I found you a chair,
381
00:21:31,715 --> 00:21:33,400
but I'm guessing you're good.
382
00:21:38,360 --> 00:21:42,080
Moving my right hand
across the lower back
383
00:21:42,115 --> 00:21:45,240
and down to the buttock area.
384
00:21:48,200 --> 00:21:50,725
What the hell is going on, Toast?
385
00:21:50,760 --> 00:21:54,525
Your goddamn ass
feels like a giant cookie.
386
00:21:54,560 --> 00:21:59,080
Yeah, it's a bit sore down there,
Shepherd. It's starting to burn.
387
00:21:59,115 --> 00:22:01,040
Maybe I'll have a cold shower.
388
00:22:03,640 --> 00:22:07,000
That ass has taken
one hell of a beating.
389
00:22:08,200 --> 00:22:10,805
I thought you said
you weren't into S&M.
390
00:22:10,840 --> 00:22:14,165
I'm not. The director
I'm working with did it.
391
00:22:14,200 --> 00:22:16,880
I ruined his shot,
so he thrashed me with his belt.
392
00:22:16,915 --> 00:22:19,877
Did it in front of his producer
and a young runner.
393
00:22:19,912 --> 00:22:22,840
Very humiliating, not to mention
highly unprofessional.
394
00:22:22,875 --> 00:22:24,440
Mm. Urgh.
395
00:22:29,680 --> 00:22:31,365
You're top class, Shepherd.
396
00:22:31,400 --> 00:22:34,820
This is the best relationship
I've ever been in.
397
00:22:34,855 --> 00:22:38,240
I'm so incredibly happy,
I believe I could fly.
398
00:22:39,560 --> 00:22:40,845
What are you doing, darling?
399
00:22:40,880 --> 00:22:46,800
Oh, I'm just making
a few final notes on my scorecards.
400
00:22:46,835 --> 00:22:49,925
Scorecard, you say?
401
00:22:49,960 --> 00:22:52,720
I'm guessing I'll get a 10,
or maybe a 9.5.
402
00:22:54,120 --> 00:22:57,480
I have to go. More research.
403
00:22:57,515 --> 00:22:59,605
All right.
404
00:22:59,640 --> 00:23:03,120
♪ My grandfather's hands
went wandering
405
00:23:03,155 --> 00:23:06,600
♪ Wandering from north
down to south... ♪
406
00:23:14,600 --> 00:23:16,820
What's this?
407
00:23:16,855 --> 00:23:19,005
Weech Beacon?
408
00:23:19,040 --> 00:23:25,040
What's it say? "Poor performance,
predictable, dull, unexciting.
409
00:23:25,075 --> 00:23:28,680
"Total, zero out of ten." Brilliant.
410
00:23:38,160 --> 00:23:41,565
I say, Billy,
how do I post something online?
411
00:23:41,600 --> 00:23:44,525
You know that bloody director
who shredded my arse?
412
00:23:44,560 --> 00:23:47,240
Well, I found out something
pretty embarrassing about him
413
00:23:47,275 --> 00:23:50,400
and I want to put it online
as an act of revenge.
414
00:23:50,435 --> 00:23:51,920
I can do that for you.
415
00:23:51,955 --> 00:23:53,285
You can? Mm.
416
00:23:53,320 --> 00:23:57,640
I must warn you, I'm pretty useless
when it comes to the social mediums.
417
00:23:57,675 --> 00:23:59,840
Nonos problemos. Let's do it.
418
00:23:59,875 --> 00:24:01,765
Really? Yeah. Fantastic.
419
00:24:01,800 --> 00:24:05,240
I'll leave you to it and I'll enjoy
the rest of my pina colada
420
00:24:05,275 --> 00:24:08,245
on the terrace.
Okey dokey, Smokey.
421
00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:10,640
Very much appreciate you helping me,
Billy.
422
00:24:10,675 --> 00:24:12,960
Happy to do this for you, Toast.
Yes.
423
00:24:16,920 --> 00:24:20,880
Oh, before I forget, do make sure
my account is anonymous.
424
00:24:25,880 --> 00:24:27,200
This is the life.
425
00:24:31,480 --> 00:24:34,360
What's the internet saying about me?
426
00:24:34,395 --> 00:24:36,617
How cool I am? Yeah.
427
00:24:36,652 --> 00:24:38,840
Loved my last movie.
428
00:24:40,600 --> 00:24:42,440
What the...?
429
00:24:42,475 --> 00:24:44,280
Shit. Shit!
430
00:24:47,080 --> 00:24:49,840
Jesus Christ, how the hell
did that get there?
431
00:24:49,875 --> 00:24:51,485
Is that my scorecard, huh?
432
00:24:51,520 --> 00:24:55,445
"Poor performance, predictable,
dull, unexciting"?!
433
00:24:55,480 --> 00:25:00,200
I mean, whoa, zero out of ten?
Zero out of goddamn ten?!
434
00:25:00,235 --> 00:25:03,477
No, that is not right.
That is not your scorecard.
435
00:25:03,512 --> 00:25:06,720
What? Well, that is the score card
of a hopeless loser
436
00:25:06,755 --> 00:25:09,120
I was sleeping with
as research for my book.
437
00:25:09,155 --> 00:25:11,005
His name is Steven Toast.
438
00:25:11,040 --> 00:25:13,925
That's the dumb-ass jerk
who just ruined my movie.
439
00:25:13,960 --> 00:25:17,140
What? I asked Liberty to type up
my scorecards from the notes
440
00:25:17,175 --> 00:25:20,320
I'd put together. She's obviously
got the names mixed up.
441
00:25:20,355 --> 00:25:25,597
What a loser.
Yes, he is a zero out of ten loser.
442
00:25:25,632 --> 00:25:30,156
But you, you, baby,
you are a ten out of ten winner.
443
00:25:30,191 --> 00:25:34,680
I'm going to find your real
scorecard and post it there.
444
00:25:34,715 --> 00:25:36,840
Whoa, I'm a ten out of ten?
445
00:25:36,875 --> 00:25:38,805
You betcha.
446
00:25:38,840 --> 00:25:41,360
Are you ready to play,
little doggie?
447
00:25:41,395 --> 00:25:43,097
Oh, yeah.
448
00:25:43,132 --> 00:25:44,765
Woof!
449
00:25:44,800 --> 00:25:49,840
And after we have some fun,
I'm going to go get my scorecards.
450
00:25:49,875 --> 00:25:52,040
Oh, yeah, baby.
451
00:25:52,075 --> 00:25:54,960
Woof!
452
00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:03,380
Ah, Shepherd, what a lovely
surprise. Come in.
453
00:26:03,415 --> 00:26:06,360
I know you posted that stuff
about Weech, Toast.
454
00:26:06,395 --> 00:26:08,737
No, I didn't.
It was an anonymous account.
455
00:26:08,772 --> 00:26:11,045
Then, maybe you shouldn't have
posted it
456
00:26:11,080 --> 00:26:15,920
under the name of "Steven Toast,
specialises in playing butlers".
457
00:26:15,955 --> 00:26:17,805
Right, OK.
458
00:26:17,840 --> 00:26:22,160
But we are still in a relationship,
aren't we, you and I?
459
00:26:22,195 --> 00:26:23,840
Scorecards.
460
00:26:31,400 --> 00:26:36,760
He's not a happy bunny, Toast.
You screwed up his whole movie,
461
00:26:36,795 --> 00:26:39,097
and then you went on
the social media
462
00:26:39,132 --> 00:26:41,365
saying he couldn't cut it
in the sack.
463
00:26:41,400 --> 00:26:44,240
Yeah, and also he gave my arse
a severe thrashing
464
00:26:44,275 --> 00:26:46,245
and stole my ladyfriend.
465
00:26:46,280 --> 00:26:48,160
Hopefully that'll be the end of it.
466
00:26:49,520 --> 00:26:51,240
Oh, God.
467
00:26:53,880 --> 00:26:55,480
No!
468
00:26:58,320 --> 00:27:00,125
This Hollywood Reporter magazine,
469
00:27:00,160 --> 00:27:03,360
now, I'm guessing it's a niche
publication that nobody reads.
470
00:27:03,395 --> 00:27:04,605
Would I be right?
471
00:27:04,640 --> 00:27:06,880
Wrong? It's read by everyone
in Hollywood.
472
00:27:06,915 --> 00:27:08,445
Absolutely everyone.
473
00:27:08,480 --> 00:27:11,240
Even people who never read anything
read it.
474
00:27:11,275 --> 00:27:12,320
God!
475
00:27:13,880 --> 00:27:17,160
Hey, you want to try to fit
a piece into my Tricky Dick
476
00:27:17,195 --> 00:27:20,165
jigsaw puzzle?
Jigsaw?
477
00:27:20,200 --> 00:27:22,480
Yeah, might take your mind
off of things.
478
00:27:28,880 --> 00:27:30,440
Doesn't fit.
479
00:27:30,475 --> 00:27:32,037
Aw, doesn't fit?
480
00:27:32,072 --> 00:27:33,600
Bad luck, loser.
481
00:27:38,240 --> 00:27:40,780
I'm so sorry I used your name
on the account.
482
00:27:40,815 --> 00:27:43,320
I didn't know
you wanted to be anonymous.
483
00:27:43,355 --> 00:27:44,885
It's not your fault.
484
00:27:44,920 --> 00:27:47,440
I should have supervised
my own caper.
485
00:27:47,475 --> 00:27:49,920
Poor you. Are you OK?
486
00:27:52,080 --> 00:27:53,685
You might have to remove that hand.
487
00:27:53,720 --> 00:27:56,200
I'm not used to people
being nice to me.
488
00:28:04,640 --> 00:28:06,765
♪ Son of a small-town draper
489
00:28:06,800 --> 00:28:09,440
♪ You wanted everything now
not later
490
00:28:09,475 --> 00:28:11,645
♪ Took a job as a hotel waiter
491
00:28:11,680 --> 00:28:14,140
♪ Drank your whisky straight
No chaser
492
00:28:14,175 --> 00:28:16,647
♪ Hang around with a pretty
ice-skater
493
00:28:16,682 --> 00:28:19,120
♪ Till you tired and began
to hate her
494
00:28:19,155 --> 00:28:21,557
♪ Oh, yes, you're boss
495
00:28:21,592 --> 00:28:23,925
♪ And it's just because
496
00:28:23,960 --> 00:28:29,160
♪ They know
that you're the great beatmaker. ♪
497
00:28:32,160 --> 00:28:36,160
Preuzeto sa www.titlovi.com
36968
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
