All language subtitles for PCU - 1994 - 1080p - Comedy

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MAN: This--this is
something, man.

This is
our generation, man.

All you people, we're all
together, man, it's groovy.

And dig yourselves.
It's really groovy.

* You don't hear no sounds,
but dig this *

* Yeah

* Yeah

* Yeah, OK, then--hey *

* Hey, man

* Yeah, dig, brother

* Groovy, groovy

* Hey, what's up?
Hey, we got some--hey *

* Yeah, OK, let's--hey

* Hey, man

* Yeah, dig, brother

* Groovy, groovy

* Groovy, groovy *

* Groovy, groovy

* Groovy, groovy

* Groovy, groovy

* Groovy, groovy

* Groovy, groovy *

* Yeah, dig, brother *

Hello?

* Groovy, groovy

* Groovy, groovy

* Groovy, groovy

* Groovy, groovy *

(Loud music plays)

Fuck!

Oh, yeah.

(Guitars fade)

Shit. Fuse box again.

I got it last time.

I know.

Um...

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Is James Andrews around?

What are you, a narc?

No, no, no.
I'm a pre-frosh.

I'm just looking
for James Andrews.

Heads up!

James Andrews...

Oh, Droz. He's in
the hole, room two.

Um...where--

The basement.

Come on. Follow me.

End of the hall.

Ahem.

Go ahead.

Last door on the left.

Hello?

Uh...

James?

(Snoring)

Uh, excuse me.

Ooh.

Uh...

(Snoring)

Uh...

(Snores)

Coffee.

Coffee now!

There.

All right, what do you need,

bottle rockets,
dental dams, reddi-whips?

Term papers?

Um, actually,
no, no, no.

I'm Tom Lawrence.
I'm a pre-frosh.

I'm just up here
at Port Chester

just to see if
I want to go here.

What am I,
a stop on the tour?

Actually, um,

admissions
arranged for me

to spend the night
at your frat.

Gee, Scooter, frats were
banned in the sixties.

They were?

Let me see that.

I don't believe this.

I've been pimped
by admissions.

OK.

Want some advice?

Well, yeah.

Here's all you
need to know:

classes--nothing
before 11:00;

beer--your best friend,
you drink a lot of it;

women--you're a freshman,

so it's pretty much
out of the question.

Will you have a car?
Um, no.

Someone on
your hall will.

Find them and make friends
with them on the first day.

Anything else?

Yeah. Um...

look, uh,

can anyone just, uh,

live in these big houses
with--with girls?

Times have changed in
the past 30 years, Tomas.

We no longer swill sherry

and screw goats
for fun anymore.

I'd love to tell
you about it, but...

Should I just leave
my stuff in your room?

Uh, no.

Look, I'd like
to help you out,

but we're cutting in
on my nap time as it is.

But the good news is

I've got just
the guy for the job.

(Loud music plays)

Yo, Gut,
what's up, baby?

What's up, Droz?

Got any smokes, baby?

No, man, last one.

Listen, Tom-man--

(Turns down music)

Tom-man here
is a pre-frosh.

I told him you'd
show him around.

No can do.

Whoa, Gut,
can't or won't?

Can't, man.

It's grunge night
at Vienna House.

The Merkins are opening

for Frog and Toad
Are Friends.

I got to psych up
for the show.

Frog and Toad
Are Friends,

that's with the guy
from the Clash, right?

The?
The Clash.

I don't know if you're
aware of this, Gutter,

but there
actually was music

recorded before 1989.

What is this?

You're wearing this
to the show?

You're gonna
wear the shirt

of the band you're
gonna go see?

Don't be that guy.

Hey!
Dave!

Dave, Dave! What's up,
my brothers?

Here we go.
Very quickly,

just a quick
moment of--

It's all right.
Mullaney.

What's up?
Good to see you.

Is this a pre-frosh?

Yes, it is.

You showing him around?

Actually--
You know,

that's really swell.

Now, you gotta
make sure he gives you

the special
bicentennial tour,
200 years of bullshit.

You little bitch.

Yep, now we're even
for the milk bones.

You signed me up
as a weekend host.

You swing bag.

Sucker.

Milk bones?

Spring Break, I filled his
suitcase with dog biscuits

coming back
from Jamaica.

Drug-sniffing dogs
went ape shit.

I got one more idea.

Pigman!

(Tires squeal)

Pigman!

What's he doing?

He's finishing
his senior thesis.

Pigman is trying to prove
the Caine/Hackman Theory.

No matter what
time it is,

24 hours a day,
you can find

a Michael Caine
or a Gene Hackman movie

playing on TV.

Wait, that's his thesis?
Yes!

That's the beauty

of college
these days, Tommy.

You can major in Game Boy
if you know how to bullshit.

Have a seat,
there's the TV.

Pigman's got you covered.

Call me for the shower scene
in Dressed To Kill.

Um...

What?

Did I tell you that
I'm from Delaware?

Really?

Well, I mean, I
just spent 6 hou--

6 hours on
a public bus

just to come
to Port Chester

to decide if
I want to come here.

So, you know, maybe
I should see the campus

or, you know,
like, a pep rally

or a tailgate party.
OK, OK.

OK, OK. I--
I've got it.

Here's the deal.

You gotta get all this
fifties cornball shit

out of your head.

It's a whole new ball game
on campus these days,

and they call it PC.

PC?

Politically Correct,

and it's not just politics,
it's everything.

it's what you eat,
it's what wear,

and it's what you say.

And if you don't
watch yourself,

you can get in
a butt-load of trouble.

For instance,
see these girls?

Yeah.

No, you don't.
Those are women.

You call them girls,
and they'll pop your figs.

Save the whales.

MAN: Gays in
the military now!

Free Nelson Mandela.

They freed him already.

What?

Those women?

Those aren't women, Tom.

Those are Womynists.

You know, I saw the new
Madonna video last night.

Unfricking-believable.

See the one in the middle
with the blond hair?

Yeah.

She's looking at me,
isn't she?

Kind of. What, do you
know her or something?

Hey, Sam,

isn't that the guy
that you used to, uh...

Yeah.

You went out
with a white male?

I was a freshman.

Freshperson.
Please.

Please.

Go talk to her.
What's the problem?

Watch this.

He's coming over here.
Sisters, form a wall!

No, you don't
have to do that.

Hi. How you doing?

Is Sam in there?

In there? What's that
supposed to mean?

Yeah, cock man
oppressor.

Thank you.

Maybe one of you
could just tell her

that Mr. Pokey
stopped by.

OK.

What the hell was that--
Mr. Pokey?

I think he meant
his, uh, phallus.

You participated
in a phallus naming?

No. No, I have no idea.

You stay away
from him, Sam.

He's an animal.

You know, this place
is kind of insane.

Wait till you meet
the causeheads.

The what?

What don't we eat?

Red meat!

Why don't we eat it?

It's murder!

What don't we eat?

Red meat.

Why don't we eat it?

These, Tom, are
your causeheads.

They find
a world-threatening issue

and stick with it
for about a week.

What's up?
What up?

What happened to
the ozone layer?

That was last week.
Now it's meat.

Grill is serving up
chili burgers,

but they're not letting
anyone in or out.

I love chili burgers.
What about you, Daves?

Yeah.
Yeah.

Let's do lunch.

All right.

Red meat!

Why don't we eat it?

It's murder.

What don't we eat?

Red meat.

Why don't we eat it?

It's murder!

What don't we eat?

Red meat.

Don't eat us!

It's murder.

Remember, cows
are our friends.

What don't we eat?

Red meat.

Why don't we eat it?

It's murder.

The charred flesh
served in this cafeteria...

Oop. Paint.

(Cheering)

Harsh bud.

And the non-toxic paint...

Moonbeam,
I like your style. Go.

Wrung from
the scorched flesh

of innocent creatures.

Go! Go!

Wha-what?

MAN: * I was standin'

* By my window

You may be saying
to yourselves,

what of the hungry students
of this university?

* On a cloudy day

...with the use
of their legs and hands...

Then they would understand
the plight of the field calf.

* I was standin'

If every student
on this campus...

(Feedback)

were to starve, it would be
worth the life of a cow.

Moo!

Yum.

Hopefully, this
will not come to pass.

But if it were, who is
to say that the life--

What the hell?

Aah.

Hey!

Now.

Here's lunch.

(Screaming)

Nicely done,
gentlemen.

All right.
Now what?

Now we run.

Dave.

Dave?

MAN: And the walls
are painted white,

and the chalk is white,

and even the copy machine
and paper is white.

Excuse me.

This, my friend,

is a white devil's
conspiracy.

Meat tosser!

Stop the violator!

Ohhh!

MOONBEAM: Level
of insensitivity--

"c," unconscionable.

Offended.

Oh, thank God.
President Garcia-Thompson.

Students,
fill out those forms

and don't skip a line.

It was those persons
in the pit again.

I know, Moonbeam.

Those pit offenders
are single-handedly

destroying the sensitivity
levels on this campus.

Of course, I can't simply
throw them out of school.

After all, they're still
15 complaints away

from expulsion.

Don't worry,
their day will come.

Um, Ms. President?

There's some preppy person
in your office.

Madras ties.

Sweet.

McPherson, what the hell
are you doing?

Ooh, pretty outfit.

Real summery.
What is that, Dacron?

How many times have I told you
not to meet me here?

I have a reputation
to uphold.

Don't run from
your feelings.

I think it's
time people

know the truth
about us.

The truth, McPherson,
is that you disgust me.

The only thing we'll
ever have in common

is a hatred of the pit.

Just give it time.

The information,
Republican.

Signed, sealed, and...

snatched rudely.
What a surprise.

Perfect. I'll bring it
to the pit immediately.

And we'll call
the movers.

Hey, Jack,
the floor's closed

unless you're working
on a thesis.

You working on a thesis?

Uh, no, I'm lost.

I'm trying to get
back to the pit.

Well, don't get your balls
in an uproar.

Just follow me.

Get your feet
off the desk.

Uh, what's
everybody doing?

Finishing their theses,
fuzzhead.

They're due
Monday morning.

Now, there's the door.

Oh, thanks.

Damn it.

What?

Hey, Cecelia, are you
going to be free tonight?

Why?

You want to
have dinner...

with us?

What, like a date?

Yeah.
Yeah.

God.

Katy, I was thinking.

When we start that song,

it's got to be
a lot faster.

You mean
like this?

You're in my chair.
Get out.

Now remember to make mine
extra crispy, Gut.

DROZ:
Be careful, man.

I like it rare,
not cold.

I got ya.

So, this is the sewer
where you persons

breed your
anti-community crimes.

Hello, Mrs. Gar--

President Garcia-Thompson.

DROZ: Hey, monkeys, how
about a little respect?

The presiding person
of the university

just walked in.

(Playing Hail To the Chief)

Stop that.

Turn that
noise pollution down.

Please put out
that cigarette right now.

All right.

Do I need to remind you

that this house already
has enough complaints

to qualify for a sensitivity
awareness weekend?

You passed out cigarettes

for a smoke-a-thon
on Earth Day,

you installed speed bumps
on the handicapped ramps,

and most recently,
you dumped 100 pounds of...

meat on a peaceful
vegan protest.

Oh, come on!

That was way more
than 100 pounds.

Very amusing,
Mr. Andrews.

Thanks.

Here's something you
won't find quite so funny.

This, offenders,

is your damage bill
for the semester.

The total comes to $7,568.

Housing forms for next year
are due Monday.

And if that bill isn't paid,

this house
will be repossessed.

What?
No way!

You can't be
serious, right?

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I have a bicentennial
to plan.

CECELIA:
This sucks.

GUTTER: Ma'am, can--
ma'am? Hello?

7 thou?

We're in
deep shit, huh?

Where the hell are
we gonna live next year?

It's like 3 weeks
before school ends.

Ladies and gentlemen,
I think it's time

to revive
an ancient tradition

we seem to have
long forgotten.

They confiscated
the altar, Droz.

No, I'm not talking
about human sacrifice,

Ceel, I'm talking about
something that we used to do

every Saturday night
as a matter of principle.

Here's a hint:

legions of hand-stamped
meatheads

in co-ed naked
lacrosse t-shirts

power chugging watered-down
Meisterchau,

regurgitating
on the glue-matted floors.

Kiln-like temperatures,
fights with townies,

lines of drunken people

waiting for
the bathroom.

Wait a second.

You guys are talking
about a party.

Ding, ding, ding,
ding, ding!

Gutter, tell her
what she's won.

We get some beer,
we have a band,

and we overcharge
at the door.

Droz, there's no way.

We need an all-campus party
to raise enough money.

No one's been able to
pull that off in years.

You know what happens--

half the school
protests.

The other half
boycotts.

Yeah, and besides,
think about it.

Even if we could
get them all here,

it'd be like
a total PC war zone.

Well, there is
one other option--

we get jobs.

I vote party.

I can't handle
a job, man.

We're totally on it.

What do you
want us to do?

So, uh, who's on beer?

Uh, well, that would
roughly be you, Gut.

I suggest kegs--
multiple, cold, and domestic.

I have to meet
Mersh in Jerry town

for my ride
to the show.

OK, well, you call those

useless yerk-toting,
frisbee-chucking

cheeba monkeys,

and you tell them you're
gonna be an hour late.

Ceel, Katy, Raj,
and Deege,

the stage is set,
your band will play.

But, Droz, we don't
even have a name.

Well, you get a name,
you give it to the Daves,

they'll put up
the fliers.

On it.
On it.

Pigman.
Yeah?

Stay put.

We charge 5 bucks a head.

Mastercard and Visa
accepted.

Droz,

what happened to that
cute preppy kid?

Who?

The pre-frosh.

That's a good question.

What's up, Mersh?

Gutter,
what's up, bud?

Tried to call you guys,
like, 6 times, man.

What's the deal?

Listen, Mersh,

I gotta get beer
for this party tonight,

so I'm going to be late
for my ride to Hartford.

Sorry, Gut, man,
no can do.

The Grand Master of Funk

descends on the city
at 8:00, man,

and we will be there.

Mersh, you hate punk.

Funk, Gutter.

Funk.

George Clinton.

Parliament Funkadelic.

Dude,

aren't you
a music major?

Yeah.

Ha ha ha ha ha!

(Laughter)

Maybe you guys could
just give me a lift

to the liquor
store then.

We got intramural
finals this afternoon,

man, sorry.

Well, what am
I supposed to do?

Have a bong hit.

GUTTER: What good is
that going to do me?

Just one little binger
to brighten up your day.

Come on, man.

Just one hit,

then I got to go.

MAN: Look at the stitching.

It's got to
be L.L. Bean.

Yes.

But can he be trusted?

Look at his tie.

His complexion.

He's definitely
one of us.

Hey--wait.
Where am I?

You're safe now.

Allow me. Carter Prescott,

Pledge Master of the secret
fraternity of Balls and Shaft.

Tom Lawrence,
pre-frosh.

Bantam Draper.

Um...

so, this is a frat?

CARTER: The school
outlawed fraternities

in 1967, Tom.

And Balls and Shaft was
forced to go underground.

We lost our house,

now the detestable sore
known as the pit.

Since then,
our numbers have dwindled,

but we're always on
the lookout for new members.

You guys used to be
in the pit?

Well, I know it's sad.

The swine in there,
they're dirty, stupid--

worst of all,

poor.

(Knock on door)

I'll get it.

America's greatest
President.

It's me, Rand.
Open up.

America's greatest
President.

Damn it.

Who is Ronald Reagan?

A casual shoe
for yachting.

What are you trying
to figure out, B.D.?

Who could I be?
What is a blucher?

They killed Jesus Christ.

Who are the Jews?
Open up, sucko!

Gentlemen, I've got
some good news,

and I got some
bad news.

The bad news is...

you're an idiot.

Don't ever make me wait
outside that door.

The good news is...

Thompson just delivered
the information.

By now, the pit
will have started

planning their
little soiree.

Well, about that, Rand--

What if their party
does come off?

Does anyone get what
I'm doing here?

Does anyone follow me?

We want them to have
a party, steakhead.

We want them to
have the loudest,

most offensive party

in school history.
Capisce?

Hi.

Well, well, I see we
have a new pledge.

Mayflower material,
I presume?

Huh?

It's a boat.

Your ancestors obviously
didn't come over on it.

But, hey, it's the nineties.
We'll take what we can get.

Gentlemen,
we got a job to do.

Naugahyde Windpipe.

Too metal.

Oedipus
and the Mama's Boys.

Too college radio.

My Johnson
Is 12 Inches Long.

Interesting,

but doesn't sound
like a band name.

I've got it.

Everyone Gets Laid.

Katy, the Womynists will be
all over us for that one.

Ow.

CEEL: Hey, Droz, what do
you think about this?

Tonight at the pit,
Everyone Gets Laid.

Hmm. That's tasteless,
disgusting, and offensive.

I like it.

Cool.

Daves, go make
those fliers.

Hey,

what are you guys
doing?

Us? Oh, we're seniors.

We're going to the game.

Outside!

Whoo!

Uhh!
Uhh!

Hey.

Remove that nail,
butcher.

What's your deal?

I just heard
that tree shriek.

Would you like it
if I nailed a sign

into a layer
of your fat?

Try it again,
and you're toast.

Save the planet.
Peace.

This is a total drag.

Let's give up, man.

Well, what do
we have here?

Let's go!

Whoo!

Yeah, yeah.
Look at him go!

Pig.

Oh, good, good God.

Word up.

She got a little
stiff-arm.

* Ending in dirty looks

* Listenin' to the Muzak

* Thinkin' 'bout
this and that *

* She said that's that

* I don't want
to chitter chat *

* Turn it down
a little bit *

* Or turn it down flat

* Pump it up

* When you don't really
need it... *

Oh, wow, man.

Ha!

Hot shit!

Yeah.

Isn't that your old
freshman roommate?

Oh, yeah.

Randall Peeburn McPherson.

I wonder what brought him
out of hiding.

Must be
a Klan meeting.

Yeah.
Man, look at him.

Must have been hellish
living with that guy

for a year.

(Woman laughing)

Ahem.

Ahem.

Hey, wait,
come back.

Oh, come on!
Go to sleep!

Go to sleep!

It's time to
go to sleep!

Oh, my God! Aah!

Ah! Aah!

Aah!

Get away from me,
you freak!

Freak!

Aah!
Stay on your side!

Aah!

Total nightmare, man.

What the hell
is taking so long?

ALL: Swirly.

Whoo!

The pride of the Port Chester
sports program, Tom--

Hippie Olympics.

Doesn't matter who wins
'cause they're all losers.

You know,
it's sad, really.

This school
used to be

a bastion of rich,
white elitism.

Now...now there are homosexuals
on the football team,

whining minorities run
the student government,

and you can't even
coerce a woman

into having sex
without being

brought up
on charges.

What is this world
coming to?

Really!

RAND: Come on.
Let's go.

My pappy would puke

if he saw this bunch
of bug-eyed toads

chasing a scrap
of plastic around.

Hey, ponytails,
you suck!

Hi.

We're getting housed
here, guys.

I say we bring in
Blotter.

Blotter.
Blotter.

Yeah.
Yeah.

(Whistles)

Wha-whoo,
yeah, Blotter!

Oh, you're just
bugging me!

* Pump it up

* Until you can feel it

* Pump it up

* When you don't
really need it *

Uh-oh. This is me.

I'm going in, Coach.
Cover me, man.

Yeah, yeah.
Whatever. Yeah.

Sam?

Hey. Wow!

What are
the odds?

Droz. Two times
in one day.

What's come over you?

I don't know,
must be hormonal.

WOMYNIST: What the hell
is he doing here?

Afternoon, ladies.

Looking good
out there.

Yeah.
Whatever.

They're not going
to castrate me

for sitting here,
are they?

Yeah, that's what they got
planned for halftime.

Oh. Now, look
who it is.

Meat tosser!

Aah!

Aah!

Jesus Christ.
I know that kid.

What is he doing?

I'm open.

Aah! Ohh!

Hey.

That weasel
snagged the 'bee.

All right.

Bong hits, anyone?

All right.

So, I heard you're
finally graduating.

Yeah, yeah. It's
pretty stupid, huh?

I mean, how could
I leave all this?

What about you?
You got any plans?

RAND: James Andrews,
my old friend.

Hey, Rand.

Samantha, my buttercup.

I hear you're having
a party tonight.

Can't go.

But we're all taking bets

on how many of you
will get arrested.

You remember
this guy,

he skippered
Hitler's catamaran

during the war?

Yeah, yuck it
up now, dipshit.

Your nightmare's
just beginning.

I think the Womynists
will be quite interested

in your little scribblings.

Oh, yeah,

that's where I'm headed.

Samantha,
always a pleasure.

See you.

Gentlemen.

Ladies.

A pit party.

Mmm. Warm, flat beer.

Soggy chips.
Think about that.

It's just what I need to
help me figure out my life.

Stop the penis party!

Get her away
from him!

Come on,
Sam!

Let's go.

Hey, Sam, what
about tonight?

Don't talk to him.

Shit.

Whoo-hoo! Yeah-heh!

(Honks horn)

(Honks horn)

Hey, watch it,
you schmuck!

Get the beer.
Just get the beer.

Get the beer.

The beer.

Excuse me.

Can you blow me
where the pampers is?

What?

Can you blow me
where the pampers is?

Can you show me

where the campus is?!

Yeah. Sure.

She knows.

She knows.

OK.

Just...just go here
for a minute.

I shouldn't have
smoked that.

MAN: I just want
to pay tribute

to both your courage

and for your eloquence

and for the dignity in which
you've conducted yourself.

Thank you, Senator.

I knew it was
going to be bad

when I was nominated.

I didn't know
it would be this bad.

Could you have guessed...

that some people, including
people on this committee,

would dredge up stories
about drug use?

Wait. Wait.
Wait a second,

gentlemen
of the courtroom,

this guy
is Gutter, man.

The Gut man.

He comes over, man,

he smokes two major
bong loads...

he knows how to carb
and everything.

Like, loads the size
of your head, man.

I...I didn't exhale?

(Laughing)

Works for me.

Good answer.

(Coughs)

(Whimpering)

Oh, man.
What a nightmare.

Oh, man.

Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh, shit! The beer!

Oh, shit!

WOMAN: Are we talking
about the same person?

GARCIA: Well, I think
Bisexual Asian Studies

should have
its own building.

The question is,
who goes:

the Math department
or the hockey team?

Excuse me,
Andrea--

It's Andrea.

I think hockey.
Call me about it.

The board of trustees
is very concerned

about the state of unrest
among the students.

There has been a protest
on this campus

every day, and frankly,

we're sick of all
the bad publicity.

Oh, really?

We're particularly
concerned

about tomorrow's
bicentennial.

It will be the most
highly attended

alumni event in years.

Gentlemen, relax.

Tomorrow's ceremony has been
planned to perfection.

And as for the students,

I have a special
surprise for them.

What are you
talking about?

I'm going to announce

the changing
of the school mascot

from the offensive
Port Chester Indian

to an endangered specie.

Gentlemen,
meet our new mascot,

the Port Chester
Whooping Crane.

(Cooing)

No. Wait. No!

Look, jerky,
no liquor sold after 8:00.

Connecticut blue laws.

After 8:00? I missed
my ride to the show!

Hey, look.
It's a college boy.

Anybody want
to beat him up?

(Laughing)

Nice tie.

This totally bites.

The first time
we've ever been asked

to play in public,
and there's no public.

Yankees are
back in town.

Fuse box.

Aah!

Pins and needles!

Ooh! Pins and needles.
Pins and needles.

RAJ: Hey, guys, you knocked
the plug out. Hello.

Hey, Raj.

Hey, Daves, what
happened to the fliers?

Huh?

They fliers, I haven't
seen one up on campus.

We put one up.

Damn, man.

One flier?

We're screwed.

There is one thing
we can still do.

Play some loud
and abusive tunes?

Exactly.

Do it, man.
All right.

Plug my ass in.

Yeah.

(Chuckling)

Yeah.

Play Metallica,
and they will come.

We should've handled
our own publicity.

MAN:
Whooping cranes.

Garcia-Thompson's
making sandwiches
without bread.

That bitch
is giving me gout.

Look, just be patient,
Cordeau.

The way she's going,
she'll hang herself.

I'll buy the rope,
you find the tree.

I'm just one man talking,

but I don't get this
whole James Bond/Rasta--

Hey, I want to know

how this became
about me

all of a sudden?

(People yelling)

This is a miracle.

Monkeys pulled it off.

What the hell's
going on here?

Hi, Droz.

Are we having a party
tonight or what?

There's no publicity,
so there's no people.

Gutter never showed up,
so there's no beer,

our instruments blew out,
so there's no band,

and I think Raji
and Deege may be dead.

Wait a minute--
no beer?

Well, where
the hell's Gutter?

Probably in a parking
lot somewhere

picking his nose.

Well, there's
one consolation.

What's that?

We haven't been
protested yet.

Does anybody know why
there are 24 Womynists

beating bongos
on our lawn?

Stop this phallic
oppression at this house...

What?

Let's check
it out.

Yeah, man.
Coming through.

Coming through.

Hey.

All right. Deadly zulu
drum protest.

Haven't seen one of
those since my third
sophomore year.

Full-on
response.

Wish the balls
weren't dead.

See, you try
and spread joy,

and then the PC
shock troops just
shut you down.

KATY: Don't they want
to have a good time

at least once
in their lives?

That's a damn
good point.

OK. Now, it's true

the majority
of students today

are so cravenly PC,

they wouldn't know
a good time

if it was sitting
on their face,

but there's one thing

that will always
unite us and them.

They're young.

They may not
realise it yet.

They've got the same
raging hormones,

the same
self-destructive desire

to get boldly trashed
and wildly out of control.

Look out that window.

That's not a protest.

That is a cry for help.

CHANTING: Stop
the penis party!

Stop the penis party!

They're begging us...

please have a party!

Feed us drinks!

Get us laid!

Aah!

DAVE: That's a pretty
strange theory, Droz.

Yeah.

Besides, we don't
have a band

or any people, man.

We don't have
any beer.

We've got loose keg sightings
near the freshman dorm,

two cases of zinfandel
spotted near the faculty club,

and here, the mother lode--
the bicentennial ball.

Moles, you're
on the air in 10.

Got it!

Ceel,
you're on bongos.

Me, Dave, and Dave
are on beer.

Katy, you're a freshman.

Find 2,000 people.

RAND: Hey.

GARCIA: It's about
time the university

embraced
multiculturalism.

Hey.

It really is.

Excuse me.

Uh-huh.

What is the complaint
count now?

Hello,
Andrea.

Only 3
this afternoon,

but my Community
Crisis Bulletin

just went out. OK?

Well, don't worry,
my fair maiden,

we will get our quota.

And by the way,

have you seen
their tasteless flier?

Oh, my God.

Is there no limit?

Well...what I figure
they did...

was they cut out
a picture of your head

and pasted it on another
different picture.

I've done a little
collage work myself.

B.D., do me a favour

and don't ever talk.

(Horn honks)

Hey, kid, do you know
how to get back

to I-84?

Where you going,
Hartford?

Yeah, man, we got
a concert there.

We should have
been there at 8:00.

I know. The Merkins
and Frog and Toad.

What?

The bad news is,

84 is, like,
a half-hour away,

and then
Hartford is,

like, another 45 minutes
on the freeway.

Seth, I told you we should
have followed the other bus.

We'll never make it now.

We might as well
go on back home.

Yo, dread.
Yeah, what's up?

Since you missed
the show anyway,

you think you could give me
a ride back to my house?

Yeah. Come on.
Get on up.

Shotgun.

DAVE: Which
one's Rand's?

Cherry beemer.
"Thanks, Dad."

I can wire it.
Can you get us in?

It might take
a little time, but...

Yeah. I think so.

MAN: that was
George Clinton on WPCU

with Tear the Roof Off.

Clinton's headlining
the Civic tonight,

but you can't afford
a ticket, man. Sorry.

Moles. How's it going,
brother?

What's up?
Great show, man.

Thanks, man.

No, really. Listen,
I got a favour to ask...

Well, that's
good thinking.

Oh.

Ooh.

Eek.

Ah...

Toss 'em in back.

Sunroof. All right.

Rand's going to
griz his pants

when he sees his car.

You think so?

MOLES: Good evening.
We interrupt this broadcast

for a special
announcement.

Are you just sitting
around your dorm rooms

playing cards
and eating pizza?

Now, is this the way
you've spent the majority

of your 4 years in college?

Would you like tonight
to be different,

you just don't have
anyplace to go?

Well, now you do.

So, turn off your radios
and head on over.

And tonight,
10 P.M. at the pit,

Everyone Gets Laid.

(Yelling)

K-Katy?

Katy!

It's the pre-frosh.

Stay!

Hi.
Hey.

We were wondering
what happened to you.

Where you going?

Uh, I'm
gonna go home.

You're leaving?

You've only been here,
like, 10 minutes.

I know, but, you know,

I've already managed
to piss off, like,

the entire campus.

I mean,
no offence, Katy,

but this place
is a nightmare.

I'm probably just
gonna wind up at State.

Yeah, well,
we're all gonna be

boring our butts
off at State

if I don't find, like,
1,000 people pronto.

What do you mean?

We gotta raise
7 Gs by tomorrow,

or we lose the house.

The pit?
Yeah.

The damage bill came in.

We're trying to pull off
this all-campus rage,

and I gotta get people.

All I got are these
foreign exchange students.

It's looking
pretty grim.

I can't believe this.

I mean, you're,
like, the only ones

that haven't
tried to kill me

since I got here.

Yeah, but you're probably
not going to be

coming here anyway, so...

don't sweat it.

(Horn honks)

Oh...your ride's here.

It was nice knowing you.

Katy!

You said you needed
people, right?

DROZ: Am I OK
on that side?

Nope.
No.

That's good.

Hey. Hey!

I'll take care of Apeman.
You grab the bar.

Hey there, B.D.

Andrews. You're not
supposed to be here.

Hey, now, that is
one great tie.

Is that yours,
or did you borrow it?

It's mine.

Really? That is amazing.
Where did you get that?

because I've been
looking for something
like this.

What are those?
Those little snails?

They're jockeys.

Really? 'Cause, uh,
they look like snails.

Listen, uh, what kind
of beer do you got?

Uh, well,
we don't have--

You know,
on second thought,

what am I doing?
I'm driving.

Make it a scotch
on the rocks.

What?

You're right.

You're a good
friend, B.D.

You saved my life.
I mean that.

You're a hell
of a guy.

I'm never going
to forget this.

Pardon me.
Excuse me.

Say, you know, there's a very
interesting studies group...

MAN: A vodka tonic,
please.

DROZ: 99, repeat.

Hi.

(Music plays loudly)

* Gonna find my baby

* Gonna hold her tight

* Gonna grab some
afternoon delight *

Last time I saw them,
they were over here.

Brothers.

I saw him at
the cafeteria this morning.

He was recruiting
for the CIA.

CIA, huh?!

I heard he injected
all the meat with hormones

before throwing it
off the roof.

He is wearing
brown shoes

with
a blue blazer.

I mean, can you
believe it?

How hinge!

KATY: What are they
so pissed off at?

Watch this.

Hey, butt-licks!

Shh.

Remember me?

Jesus Christ, Tom!

That's the guy!

(Yelling)

Let's go!

CHANTING: This
penis party's got to go.

Hey hey. Ho ho.

This penis party's
got to go.

Hey hey. Ho ho.

This penis party's
got to go.

Hey hey. Ho ho.

This penis party's
got to go.

Hey hey. Ho ho.

This penis party's
got to go.

Hey hey. Ho ho.

This penis party's...

* Kumbaya

* Kumbaya, my lord

* Kumbaya

* Kumbaya
Everybody!

* My lord

* Kumbaya

* Oh, lord *

* Kumbaya

* Kumbaya, my lord...

Droz. Droz,

what are we
going to do

when we don't
pull this one off?

Uh, bake sale?

GUTTER: What's up, Droz?
What's up, Moles?

You screwed up big-time.

The store was closed.

I put my trust in you
to handle the beer,

and you violated
that trust.

Yo, Gutter, Gutter,
where it at?

Where it at?

Oh, right
in there, sorry.

What's happenin',
what's happenin'?

Mudbone,
get in there.

Listen, don't charge
these guys, Moles.

They just gotta
use the can.

They're with me.

Droz,
that was--

Do you have any
idea who that was?

Look, they're just
using the can.

You made your point.

That was
George Clinton.

I'm sorry.

Listen to me--
Parliament, P-Funk,

the P-Funk All-Stars.

I mean, come on,
tell him.

Dr. Funkenstein?
The man is the king

of interplanetary
funkmanship.

Tell him,
tell him who it is.

It's George Clinton.

The guy with the hair?

Yeah.

Gut, you're
a legend.

Yo. There are
no chicks in here.

What did I tell you?

Yeah, man, there's
not even any chips.

Chips. Chips.

CHANTING:
Chips! Chips! Chips!

Chips! Chips! Chips!

I'll hold it.

Man.

Y'all got to
clean that place up.

DROZ: Gutter,
get a mop!

It stink.

Listen, we couldn't
help but notice

that you're
George Clinton.

Yeah?

Listen, George, we've
had a real bad day.

The president
of the university

has been spanking us
with a 7-grand damage bill.

We were gonna
rob a 7-Eleven,

we don't have
enough ski masks, right?

So, what are
we gonna do?

We're gonna throw
an all-campus rocker.

The only problem is,
we don't have the artillery.

Nigga, please,
what you want from me?

What are you
trying to say?

We were hoping you
could play our party.

What?

Well, can't nobody
make no face that ugly

and not be serious.

We'll do it,
man. Jesus.

You'll do it?

Hey, Gut, why don't you
get the band off the van?

But the whole band
ain't here.

Just tell everybody that's
on the van to come on out.

All right.

That's so great. I'm
gonna be right back.

Yeah, man,
I gotcha. I gotcha.

Boy, y'all going overboard
with this black awareness.

That boy got a rap.

It's equal
opportunity.

Chips! Chips! Chips!
Chips! Chips!

Fellas!

Chuck, porterhouse,
ribeye,

I know exactly how
you guys are feeling.

In fact, I can think
of only one thing

that could lift
my spirits right now...

beer.

Beer.

CHANTING:
Beer. Beer.

Beer. Beer.
Beer! Beer! Beer!

I think I'm
missing a piece.

Yeah, me, too, man.
Let's give up, huh?

Guys, guys, we've got
an L.A.-size riot

of thirsty men with no necks
screaming for brew.

Yeah!
Yeah!

* Makes the sparks
ignite *

* And the thought
of loving you *

* Is gettin'
so exciting *

* Sky rockets
in flight *

(Tuning up)

Yeah, that's close
enough for funk, baby.

Thanks, but I know
how to tune my axe.

I'll bet you do.

Oh, my God.
George Clinton.

Roof!

Hi.

Just the dog in me,
baby.

Oh, shit! Hi.

Yeah. Why don't you
play me a song there?

Go ahead, girl.

Uh...

Pig, you gotta
change your PJs.

We're havin' a party.

Shower scene.

Oh.

MOLES: Droz.

Droz!

Yeah.

I don't want to
burst your bubble,

but we got a slight
problem here.

What?

No guests.

(Cecelia and George
talking)

Hi. How are you doin'?

Hey, what up?

(Yelling)

Yeah. That's
right, man.

I hear what you're sayin'.

OK. OK--hey!

Hold on a sec,
everybody.

Now, I understand
y'all met Tom.

WOMAN: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
I fucking met Tom!

He snagged
our disk!

I know he did, and he's
gonna pay for it, believe me.

Moles, you take
him downstairs,

and you beat the shit
out of him.

Yeah!
Yeah!

Sorry, kid.
You heard the man.

No! No!
Please, no!

OK. Justice has been
served, everybody.

You can go home.

(Grumbling)

Oh, wait a minute.
What am I saying?

If you guys aren't doing
anything tonight,

we got George Clinton
inside.

He's tuning up
on the main stage.

Sounds like another one
of the white man's lies to me.

Yeah!
Yeah!

(Funk music playing)

Or maybe not.

Let's check it out.

Hey, wait a minute!

What about us?

Yeah, that little dork
tripped over the main plug

and lost all our theses!

OK, that's no problem.
You guys come with me.

All right?
The rest of you--

5 bucks a head,
and the line forms to the left.

OK. What's your major?

Um, particle physics?

That's a tough one.

Ooh...motion of helium atoms
in an excited stage.

Watch out,
it's a scorcher.

Next.

Uh...Sanskrit.

Sanskrit.

You're majoring in
a 5,000-year-old dead language?

Yeah.

OK.

Ooh.

Latin--it's
the best I can do.

Next.

Phys. Ed.

Phys. Ed. OK,
you're out of my room.

Seriously. Get out.

Hello,
Port Chester University.

(Cheering)

This is...

George...Clinton.

George Cl-Clinton...

Parliament Funkadelic.

And the Parliament
Funkadelic.

(Cheers and applause)

* Tear the roof
off the mother *

* Tear the roof off
the mother-sucker *

* Tear the roof
off the sucker *

* Yeah

* Yeah, yeah *

* Mm-mm

* You got
a real type of thing *

* Goin' down,
gettin' down *

* There's a whole
lotta rhythm goin' 'round *

* You got
a real type of thing *

* Goin' down,
gettin' down *

* There's a whole
lotta rhythm goin' 'round *

* We want to funk...

All right, sisters.

We've had a mild setback,
but we've regrouped.

Let's mobilise.

Isn't this
George Clinton?

No, couldn't be.

It's got to be
a cover band,

he'd never
play the pit.

Does sound like
him...though.

Guys...

maybe we should
bag the protest.

What?
No! No!

B-b-but, Sam!

Their party
flier promotes

the objectification
of women.

Maybe...

but they've also got a really
kickin' party goin' on.

That's great, Sam.

Why don't we just

forget about
fighting the phallacracy

for a few hours

and go have
a good time, right?

Exactly.

Excuse me.

Come back!
You can't go!

I can't
believe her!

* ...Working up my appetite

We're locked in!

* Lookin' forward to
a little afternoon delight *

I'm a black man.

There's no justice
for me here in America.

I should be at the front
of the line.

Yeah, well, I'm gay

and subject to ridicule
and discrimination

wherever I go.

Women are oppressed
throughout the world.

Give it a rest.

Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you very much.

Hey, Moles.
How are we doin'?

Got about a thou here,

plus I got Cecelia
on the other door.

What other door?

Hold it! One or two?

What?

One or two?

Two.

4 bucks.

4 bucks.

Light a match.

God, Gutter,
take the can, will you?

Take the can.
2 to stand, 4 to sit.

Hey-hey!

Not so fast, superguy.

* Every time
I comb my hair *

* Thoughts of you
get in my eyes *

* You're always sayin'
that I don't care *

Have a good party.

Whoo-hoo!

Good party.

Have a good party!

Look at this unbridled
display of testosterone.

Makes me sick.

Do it, man! Go on!

Hey!

What's up, babes?

Pack up your rape culture
and take a hike!

Ha ha ha!

You want a brewdog?

We're not interested
in your penis!

Wait. Wait.

I think he's
offering us a beer.

Um, yes...

we would like...

a beer.

OK.

Gimme a beer!
Gimme a beer!

Yes! Yes! Yes!

It's like...

if you're nice to them,
they bring you things?

Exactly.

* How I wish
you'd understand *

Raji, Deege, get up.
Come on. We got company.

Hey, Droz.

* How I wish
you were my date *

Hey!

You know what, Droz?

What's up, baby?

I'm 18!

Yeah! I'm up at a college
for the weekend!

Yeah?

I'm gettin' wasted

at one of the greatest
rages of all time!

My parents--they're
nowhere in sight.

Nowhere.

There--there are women
are all around me.

Right.

Why the hell
am I talkin' to you?

Ha! No idea, baby.

I don't know!

Do it big time!

Whoa!

Hey! You made it!

Yeah!

Decent party.

I can't believe
the naked guy showed.

Naked guy!

Excellent butt!

Now it's a party!

Gangway!

Hey!

Gutter!
Hey, Gut man!

Hey! Gutter!

What's up, Mersh?

Total nightmare
scenario, man.

We spotted you,
like, 20 minutes

in the ride lot.

No show, right?

Discouraged
at Civic and nix!

Clinton bails!

Mersh, you gotta
lay off the pipe, man!

Clinton is playing
right here!

* Erotic city
come alive... *

Marvellous!

Whoo!

* Sky rockets
in flight *

* Afternoon delight...

(Moaning)

Aah!

Aah!

* It's throbbin'

* Whee-whee-whoo-whee

* Whoo-whoo whoo-whoo
whoo-whoo *

* It's throbbin'

* Hey hey hey-hey

* Friction
keeps me throbbing *

* Every time
we do the stomp *

* And I'll be starving

* For the next time
that we bump *

Tom!

Tom!

* Work up a sweat
and wipe it off *

* And stomp some more...

Hi!

Hey! Whoa! Hey!
What's goin' on?

What?

Uh, hey, do you want
to go someplace?

(Grunt)

Ow!

Don't!

Heh.

Move it,
you little pervert.

Eh...eh...ah!

Ooh...agh!

Ow!

Ooh!

Round up your
cohorts, McPherson.

You're getting
your house back.

Yes!

* Stomp stomp stomp stomp

* Oooh!

* Who's that stompin'
up there? *

I have some big news.

7,000...500...

68 dollars!

The damage money
and 100 to spare!

Yeah! Yeah!

Who wants to break
some more shit?

I do!

"A Bridge Too Far."

Caine and Hackman
in the same movie together!

This is my thesis, man!
This is my closing argument!

I can stop watchin' TV!

Yeah!

* Stomp stomp
stomp stomp, yeah *

Yeah!

* Go stomp

(Pigman yelling)

* Stomp

* Go stomp

* I said we're jumpin'
and a-rockin' and a-stompin' *

* Till the break of dawn

* Jump up and shout

* 'Cause you got
funk in your feet *

* Go stomp

* Don't you let
down on me *

* Get stompin'
with your shoes *

* Stomp

* Ooh, when I start
stompin' *

* Girl, I believe
I'm good at this *

* Go stomp

* All around the dance floor

* Stompin' at its best

* Stomp stomp
stomp stomp stomp *

* Till you can't stop,
till you can't stop, ooh *

* Go stomp

* Till you can't stop,
till you can't stop *

* Stomp

* Till you can't stop,
till you can't stop, ooh *

(Roar)

* Go stomp *

* Stomp till you can't stop,
till you can't stop, ooh *

* Stomp stomp stomp
stomp stomp *

Stop it right now!

Moonbeam, what are you
doing here?

All right, everyone.

You've let
these warped nihilists

corrupt you long enough.

Back to your dorms.

Funk you very much, too.

Let's get the hell
out of here, y'all.

We don't need this.
Stomp no more.

Boo!
Party-pooper.

Thanks for tanking
the party.

That was real nice.

But I got
some bad news.

We actually raised
enough money,

so we're keeping
the house.

Recognise these, Mr. Andrews?

They're complaint forms.

And between
today's activities

and tonight's little
exercise in offensiveness,

I can assure you

there are more than enough
to kick you all off campus.

All right, boys.
Let's close it down.

I warned you your attitude
was disrupting this campus.

The students have spoken.

You're out of here.

Bye. Thanks
for the party...

oppressors.

I've got one question.

If we're movin' out,
who's movin' in?

Hi, everybody.

Hey, what's wrong?

Aw, looks like you guys
went all out tonight,

raised $7,000. Wow!

What's the matter,
forehead,

trying to figure it out?

Well, let's see.

We give you
the damage bill,

you, of course,
predictably throw

a disgusting party,
all the freaky freakies

come out of the woodwork
to protest,

and you're out of here.

Well, we still
trashed your beemer,

you screaming
preppy asshole.

Right!

That's not my car.

(Alarm beeps)

Warning. You are too close
to the vehicle.

Huh...

Now get off my lawn.

Move!

Wait a second.

You guys can't let
them just walk in

and take the pit.

We could go
Waco on 'em, man.

We could blow up
our own house.

Nah, ran out
of explosives.

What we need
is a plan.

OK. Garcia-Thompson's
the president.

She's the one that's
kicking you out, right?

Yeah.

What if she wasn't
the president anymore?

That sounds nice
in theory and all,

but how the hell are we supposed
to pull that one off?

I overheard some
old guys talking.

They want to
get rid of Thompson,

but legally they can't,

not unless she screws
something up

really, really big.

(Marching band plays)

Whoo.

Whoo.

I'd like to welcome
everyone

to Port Chester's 200th
Anniversary Celebration.

Before we get started,
please observe

that your program notes
have been printed

on recycled paper.

Birthdays are a way of
remembering one's history...

Perfect.

Those homeless
people at the pit

didn't even bother
to show.

They're probably
grubbin' quarters

at the bus station
by now.

Welcome PCU's most
recent change,

our new school mascot,

the Port Chester
Whooping Crane.

(Applause)

Hey, guys, it's
a beautiful day, isn't it?

Oh, God. Not now!

Hey, what's up?

(Grunting)

Threatened by hunters
and developers

and those awful plastic
six-pack can holder things.

But here at Port Chester,

she will be closely watched
and tended to,

safe and enclosed
from a natural habitat

that is so fraught
with danger.

Oh, my God.

STUDENT: I hear they
taste like chicken.

What's he doing?

Let's all give it up
for Andrea Garcia-Thompson

and her amazing and impromptu
rare bird show.

The bird show.
The amazing bird show.

The wonderful bird show.
The bird show.

I don't have a lot
of time to say this,

but I've got to get
something off my chest.

Last night, my house
threw a party,

and I thought that we all
finally got along.

We had a good time.

But we got so many protests,
we broke so many rules,

that we got
booted off campus.

You know, it used to be
the administration's job

to make rules.

It used to be
us against them.

Now it's us against us.

I've been here for 7 years,
and I got to tell you guys,

what's going on here
is about America.

Shut up.

It's about democracy.

It's about
the Bill of Rights

and basic cable,
call-waiting,

and free trips
to the salad bar.

It's about everything that
makes this country great.

Our country!

We can do something
about this.

We can finally say...

that when some people
are having a good time,

and drinking some beers
and throwing some meat,

that we're not going
to protest.

In fact, I promised myself
I wouldn't do this.

I'm sorry.

If we could just say that,
if only to each other,

just this one time,

that we're not
gonna protest...

That we're not
gonna protest?

We're not
gonna protest!

We're not gonna protest!

We're not gonna protest!

We're not gonna protest!

We're not gonna protest!

We're not gonna protest!

We're not gonna protest!

We're not gonna protest!

We're not gonna protest!

We're not gonna protest!

We're not gonna protest!

This is not good.

This is really
not good.

We're not gonna protest!

We're not gonna protest!

Chant sheets!
Get your chant sheets.

Right here.

We got placards here.
Placards here.

OK. We got placards here.

Placards for everybody.

We brought our own.

We're not gonna protest!

Ladies and gentlemen,
please take your seats.

Everyone, please,
take your seats.

Be quiet!

I'm asking you to be quiet,
everyone.

Be quiet!

B.D., get us out of here
before they touch me.

Please take your seats.

Be quiet!

Thompson, your inability
to control the students

has convinced us
that you are

an ineffective
president.

What? What are you
talking about?

You're fired,
Thompson!

Dismissed,
booted, sacked,

history,
shit-canned,

out of here.

What are you doing?

B.D., go beat up
the pre-frosh.

The little kid?

He's a pit spy,
you Neanderthal.
Go kick his ass.

Thanks, guys.

I feel much better now.

Oh, OK. Thank you.

We're not gonna protest!

Gutter is a tool!

ALL: Gutter is a tool!

We're not gonna protest!

Here's to Balls and Shaft!

I scheme and plan
for months,

and it all gets
screwed up

because you can't
control the students!

Never send a woman
to do a man's job!

You cocky, pointy-nosed
little Reaganite.

If you hadn't
provoked them,

we wouldn't be
in this mess.

Excuse me?
Reality check here.

Earth to tall bitch.

What is your fault?
This is.

Hey, poor boy,
go and have your parties

with all your
new friends.

I can see it now,
Andrews,

you and all the knee-jerk,
bleeding-heart liberals,

sipping tea
and playing patty cake

and those useless
hippie potheads,

those commie-pinko leftists,

the bunny huggers,
the pillow biters--

Which ones are
the pillow biters?

The butt-pirates.

And those beastly
man-haters.

Tell those chicks
to shave their pits

and call me.

The Goddamn whiny
cry-baby minorities,

you can
keep 'em all.

Rand McPherson, everybody.

Just remember the 9:30 show

is completely different
from the 7:30 show.

Enjoy the veal.

Come on!
Come on!

And in light of your valiant
actions to save this house,

we all think it's time
to take part

in the one tradition
left over

from the dark days
of Balls and Shaft.

Tom Lawrence,
prepare yourself...

for initiation.

Just try to relax.

Uh, Droz...

Yeah.

There's my bus.

Oh, man.

Damn!

We're just gonna have
to get you next year.

Don't let him
scare you.

It's only hurts
for a minute.

Hey, Gut man,
watch the stylings

on the youngster.

Nice.

I'll see ya.

Aw.
Oh.

In the fall.

Yeah!
Yeah!

All right,
little half-chunk.

Bye, Tom.

(All talking at once)

KATY: Hey, Cecilia.
Wait up.

Am I interrupting
anything?

Oh, no. We were
just rehearsing.

The Nutcracker.

Really?

Yeah, on ice.

Should be
pretty decent

once we get Gutter
up on skates.

God, I think I'd actually
pay to see that.

You would?

Let's get out of here.
You and I.

Seriously.
Just hit the road.

Actually, I was thinking

more along the lines
of a cup of coffee.

A cup of coffee?

Yeah.

Let's do that.

Hey, let's drive down.

Indeed, driving
for coffee.

We don't have a car.

I do.
For the weekend, anyway.

My aunt lent me
her red BMW convertible.

Really?

* I've been on tenterhooks

* Ending in dirty looks

* Listenin' to the Muzak

* Thinkin' 'bout this
and that *

* She said, that's that

* I don't wanna chitter-chat

Aah!

* Turn it down flat

* Pump it up

* When you don't really
need it *

* Pump it up

* Until you can feel it

* Down in the pleasure centre

* Hell-bent or heaven-sent

* Listen to the propaganda

* Listen to
the latest slander *

* There's nothing underhand

* That she wouldn't understand

* Pump it up

* Until you can feel it

* Pump it up

* When you don't
really need it *

* Hey

* She's been a bad girl

* She's like a chemical

* Though you try and stop it

* She's like a narcotic

* You wanna torture her

* You wanna talk to her

* All the things
you bought for her *

* Putting up
your temperature *

* Pump it up

* Until you can feel it

* Pump it up

* When you don't
really need it *

* Out in
the fashion show *

* Down in the bargain bin

* You put your passion out

* Under the pressure pin

* Fall into submission

* Hit-and-run transmission

* No use wishin' now
for any other *

* Sin

* Pump it up

* Until you can feel it

* Pump it up

* When you don't
really need it *

* Don't really need it

* Don't really need it

* Don't really need it

* Don't really need it

* Pump it up

* Don't really need it

* Every time we do
the stomp *

* I'll be starving for
the next time that we funk *

* I'm soaking wet as I recall us
on the dance floor *

* Work up a sweat
and wipe it off *

* Then stomp some more *

* Ah, ooh ooh ooh

* Ah, ooh ooh ooh

* Oh, yeah

* Ah, ooh

* Yeah *

* Stomp stomp stomp stomp

* People that don't get
a chance to dance *

* Stomp
and keep on stompin' *

* 'Cause there be
no second chance *

* Stomp with me,
start stompin' *

* Please don't stop

* We won't break
till daybreak *

* Baby, this time,
it won't go again *

* Shake what you got

* In your pants

* And only when
you're stompin' like this *

* Stomp now

* Stomp stomp stomp stomp

* I'm stomping,
you're thumpin' *

* I'm steppin',
you're struttin' *

* I'm sweatin' my sweat
* Till you're wet

* I'm stompin',
you're struttin' *

* Workin' my sweat
till you're wet *

* Workin' my sweat

* I'm stompin',
you're struttin' *

* Workin' my sweat
till you're wet *

* Workin' my sweat