All language subtitles for Boston Legal [5x02]

Previously on Boston Legal.

I have an 80% chance
of getting Alzheimer's?

It's not like I'll remember it.
Mad cow.

- I got weak stream syndrome.
- Irritable bowels.

- [Farts]
- Denny Crane.

- Grammy?
- Marlena?

I am in big trouble,
Grammy. I need your help.

- Melvin Palmer. How are ya?
- Atta boy. You're still a hoot.
That's what you are.

- Hell, I get paid win or lose.
- No reason this can't be a win-win.

- I just made more money. That's what I did.
- [Snaps Fingers]

How is it she ended up
at a Pennsylvania prison?

It's a private facility. One that we signed off
on because it provided drug counseling.

- Was she an addict?
- I don't think she's an addict.

But cocaine possession at 15,
it's not an encouraging sign.

Anyway, the facility claimed
that all of their guards...

had degrees in juvenile justice,
child psychology.

The guard who raped her didn't
even have a high school diploma.

- Okay.
- I don't understand why
they're not anxious to settle.

- I mean, what could their defense possibly be?
- Well, prisons...

private or otherwise,
aren't held strictly liable.

- We'd have to show negligence.
- Which basically means we have to prove...

they failed to exercise a reasonable standard
of care using industry standards.

My feeling is they will settle, but only after
the necessary amount of posturing.

Sorry I'm late.
I took Storrow instead of Surface.

Jerry, my man.
How are you, my friend?

Big hug. Oh! I run on hugs.
That's what I do.

Melvin Palmer. Wow. You are a fetching
young lass. That's what you are.

Am I right, Jerry?
Two pops for yes.

- [Lips Popping]
- Atta boy. So what do we got?

You must be the father
of the girl. Tell you what.

Let's fast-forward past the point
where you tell me this is a terrible thing.

No need. See,
unlike your average G.O.P. Fund-raiser...

I don't think there's
anything fun about a rape.

Hey, how's my buddy Al,
that big hoot?

What I'm gonna do
is make you two offers.

One's great.
The other, better.

Here's the number.
It'll make your eyes pop.

Now I've got another number here in my briefcase,
either bigger or smaller than that one.

You tell me what you wanna do.
You like what you see here, just say "deal."

If you don't like it, I open the briefcase
and you get the other number.

So what's it gonna be, big daddy?

My God! His daughter was raped.
You've turned it into a game show.

Life is nothing but a sweepstakes.
That's what I say. I tell you what.

I'm gonna let you open the briefcase
'cause you're fetching. That's what you are.

You just hold it up like so. Golly, it's good
to see you. One pop for old times' sake.

Hey, I'll take a stomp instead.

So what's it gonna be, Dad?
Deal or no deal?

- [Funk]
- [Man Vocalizing]

[Man]
Uh-huh

- All right
- Boom.

Come on

[Lips Pop]

Come on
All right

Well, yeah

Well, yeah

Outlaw

- Hi, Grammy.
- Oh, God. What have you done now?

Nice. That's how you greet
your granddaughter?

- Sorry, sweetheart. How are you doing?
- I got arrested.

Just tell me it's not a felony.

- I committed the utmost act of patriotism.
- So it is a felony.

It seems that because I care about the future
of our country, because I care...

that the national debt
is 9.4 trillion...

because I care that 47 million Americans
are without health insurance-

- Just tell me what you did.
- I voted in the primary.

- You're 17.
- Oh, yes. I'm 17. I shouldn't get a voice.

Meanwhile, Toothless in Podunk who can't even
read a ballot gets to decide a swing state?

That makes total sense.
Oh, hey. It's the old guy.

Oh, Carl. Do you think you could help me
with my granddaughter, Marlena?

It seems she voted
in the primary.

- Well, well, well. Well! Yum.
- Okay, serious ick.

Denny, you remember
my granddaughter, Marlena.

Oh. Clearly you're as hot as granny.
Are you as nasty?

[Grunts]

Very funny, Denny.
Okay, you can get up now.

- No, stay down.
- Denny?

Oh, he's faking.

- Denny?
- He's not breathing!

Denny!

- He's not breathing.
- Call 911!

Denny, if this is a joke-

Denny!

Denny!

[Siren Wailing]

- I'm fine.
- Denny, you're going to the hospital.

- I just fainted, that's all.
- Denny, you stopped breathing.

- We had to give you mouth-to-mouth.
- Who gave it to me? Shirley?

- Me.
- Oh, God. Take me to the hospital.

Let's go.

- I'm coming with you.
- Just don't kiss me.

225 seems a little low for a rape.

You know what? There is no amount
of money that would be enough.

A 15-year-old girl? A million seems low.
Am I right, Jerry?

Gee, I'm not sure, Mel. Why don't you
offer a mil? I'll let you know.

You're a chip off the old hoot block.
That's what you are. You see, Mr. Addario...

I have to evaluate cases using your
more objectivejury verdict research.

Comes down to tables, statistics, numbers.
Ask me, it's offensive...

to quantify something like
a rape with money values.

But that's the way
the law works.

My computation values
this case around 1.5.

Hell, you must have one of those plaintiff's
calculators. That's what you must have.

Maybe we should
just spin the wheel.

The thing is, when I factor in
all the variables here...

which I would be required to do,
you see, as defendant's counsel...

225 would be the number,
all payable today, by the way.

- Exactly what variables do you mean?
- Do I really need to say it?

- Afraid you do.
- Okay.

Obviously Miss Addario was quite traumatized
by all this. Hell, I've never even met her...

but my suspicion is settlement
conferences and the like...

would bring back a trauma
that she would just as soon forget.

Am I right? Nobody here wants
to put her through the ordeal of a trial.

You know the questions
I would be obligated to ask.

How she found her assailant attractive.
How she flirted with him.

How she, perhaps,
stoked the passions...

that ultimately overtook
his free will.

There is no way in hell
a loving father...

would ever subject her to all the ugliness
that goes with a trial.

And see,
without her testimony...

you'd have a hard time
getting any judgment.

That's what I know.

And knowing that,
the number is 225.

You're disgusting.

You know, missy...

I get that a lot.

I'm actually okay with it...

which is something
you might consider.

I mean, who wants to subject
that poor girl...

to a disgusting lawyer
who's willing to tear her up...

and do, perhaps, irreparable
psychological damage?

I certainly don't want that.
Do you?

What do you mean she voted?

She falsified her birth year, registered
and voted in the democratic primary.

And if we hadn't caught her, she would
be voting in the general election.

Why don't we prosecute
the lazy asses who don't vote?

Maybe charge them of dereliction
of civic duty? There's an idea.

Young lady, you will
speak when spoken to!

Your Honor,
could we just plead this out...

give her a fine, slap her with some community
service, and we could all go home?

- What kind of lawyering is that?
- It's not just that she voted, Judge.

She has a YouTube posting where she
encourages other minors to vote...

and offers instructions
on how to falsify registration forms.

- One year in jail!
- What?

Ho! Judge! Now I admittedly
haven't read all of the PATRIOT Act...

but I'm pretty sure that you
can't find somebody guilty without a trial.

I could be wrong.

[Siren Wailing]

- Toxic shock?
- Your blood tests show
a lot of drugs in your system.

- How many medications are you on?
- I don't know- 30, 40.

- What?
- Thirty or 40?

- My God!
- Is that a lot?

- Why are you taking them?
- I don't know. You name it.

Acid reflux, weak stream,
restless leg...

hemorrhoids, irritable bowel, memory,
cholesterol, blood pressure-

Whoa, whoa, whoa.
These drugs can interact.

No. I keep them
in separate bottles.

Do they make one
for common sense?

- Where the hell are you
getting your medical advice?
- Television.

- Television?
- For God's sake, Denny!

What? They wouldn't advertise it
if it wasn't safe.

Mr. Crane, you very nearly died.
You're lucky you didn't die.

Really? Whoops.

After my mother died,
I started using.

I don't know if
I was addicted. But-

You were arrested and convicted
for possession of cocaine?

Yes.

I was given two choices.
Go to a juvenile detention facility...

or choose the private route,
which promised treatment.

- Which we opted for.
- What happened at that facility?

I was raped by a guard.

Lauren, I know
this is difficult and-

- Have you ever been raped, Miss Lloyd?
- No.

- Then please don't tell me you know.
- Okay.

Can you try to help me-
I should say thejury-

understand what happened
that day?

A guard, who was not
a trained professional...

but instead,
a paid-by-the-hour employee...

came into my cell...

pinned me down by my neck...

pulled my pants down-

Was there anyone else around?

No.

The others were at recreation
outside somewhere.

I was held in for
disciplinary infraction.

I won't pretend to know,
or even imagine the horror of-

May I ask,
did you know this guard?

I knew him.

In fact, you had a rather close
friendship with him, didn't you?

Obviously I didn't see him
as the monster that he was.

I understand.

Had you ever kissed him
before this incident?

Yes.

In fact, the day
he came into your cell...

you two kissed...
consensually, am I right?

- I never consented to be raped.
- Of course not.

You said you were held inside
for a disciplinary infraction.

What was that
disciplinary infraction?

I went into an area where
I was not supposed to be.

You snuck off to rendezvous
with this part-time guard?

One last question.
During this attack...

did you scream?

He said if I made a sound,
he'd kill me.

So you never cried out for help?

Nothing further.

- Sue the drug company?
- They almost killed me. You heard the doctor.

- Even so.
- How about I sue the one...

that markets 16
of the 42 prescriptions I was taking?

Denny, the question would be how could
they predict you'd eat them like jelly beans?

- Alan, have you seen the television ads?
- Yes, I've seen them.

They list off the side effects
like they're reading the telephone book.

The benefits get
all the bells and whistles.

They nearly killed me.
I want to sue 'em.

Let's get 'em.

You can't deny that
you broke the law here.

Civil disobedience,
pure and simple.

It's what started this country.
And one might look at me as a hero.

Or one might look at you as a person
who committed a crime...

punishable by
up to five years in jail.

Oh, so I can't vote, but for the purpose
oflocking me up, suddenly I'm an adult.

Isn't that convenient?

How fair is it for me to be excluded
from the democratic process...

when we make no such exclusion for drug addicts,
the mentally handicapped...

or senior Floridians who accidentally
voted for Buchanan?

Do you think that you understand
the complexities of immigration...

the economic recession,
the Middle East balance of power, the-

I think I understand it some.
Do you think most American voters do?

Aren't you sick of people not voting
for a candidate because...

hey, they don't think they could have a beer
with him, or he's a lousy bowler...

or her pantsuits aren't flattering?

- I'm a lot more informed-
- Maybe you're an exception.

- Most 17-year-olds are-
- Are what?

How do you finish that sentence
without some little nugget of ageism?

I mean, I'm old enough to be a parent.
I'm old enough to get an abortion.

And that is a decision
far more complicated and difficult...

than making a check on a ballot box
based solely on whether...

there's a "D"or an "R"next to a candidate's name,
which is what most people do.

I mean, you want to give me a test?
Make me take a class?

Make me earn my right to vote?
Fine. I'll do it.

But don't just say no way
because I'm 17.

Joan of Arc led an army at 17.
And I'm cuter-way.

What's really nauseating
is he's good.

- The jury seemed to be with him.
- He's very good. But we'll get him.

Wait till I get that defendant
on the stand. He's muffin.

- I mean toast.
- You seem to be more confident lately.

You merely twiddle a wooden cigarette
instead of sucking it.

And in court, your hands
are in your pockets, not on your thighs.

And your clothes,
you're dressing more upscale.

New therapist, new Jerry.

You're not gonna leave the old Jerry
completely behind, are you?

No.

You really think you can
get the defendant?

New Jerry in town.
He's bagel. Toast.

[Lips Popping]

We actually operate many private prisons,
as well as our juvenile detention centers.

Our safety and crime record...

is typically superior
to the state facilities.

But just to be clear,
you're in this for profit, right?

Yes. We're for profit.
We're a business.

There's nothing wrong with capitalism.
Just the opposite.

Public prisons are weighed down
with bureaucracy.

They have archaic civil service rules
that they have to go by. We don't.

We've streamlined
the entire process...

right from construction,
all the way to human resources.

We've even eliminated
all the red tape. Simply put...

we can build a better prison
for less money, and we do.

Okay. But, sir, how is it...

that a 15-year-old inmate could get attacked
by one of your guards?

Well, this was a rogue guard.

I'm sorry to say, but every prison,
public or private, has them.

But I can tell you that
we do screen our employees.

He had no history
of violent or sex crime.

And there was no way
to predict this.

I can also tell you that our screening process
rivals or surpasses...

the ones used
by the state-operated facilities.

As for rogue guards...

they're just a reality of prison life.

When we say "for profit,"
how much profit are we talking about?

- Objection. Relevance.
- I'd simply like to explore...

whether the savings afforded
them a better opportunity to...

say, prevent the 15-year-olds
from getting raped?

- Objection. That's inflammatory-
- Rapes are an inflammatory thing.

Mel, don't you agree?
Two pops for yes.

- Mr. Espenson.
- Sorry, Judge. I'm a chip off the old hoot.

Exactly how much moola
do you make?

We made about $350 million
this past year.

That's kind of a lot, don't you agree, Mel?
One pop. Three if you love me.

Do you throw any of it
toward training your guards?

Of course we do.
Our guards are well-trained.

Well-trained? As was this one,
the one who attacked my client?

Mr. Palmer likes to say "attacked."

"Attack's"a nice word.
Our troops attack, for example.

Troops are good.
Attack's a good word.

Much better than, say, "rape"...

which is ugly,
which is what happened to my client.

Did you train this guard
not to rape, by the way?

All of our employees,
including this one...

are required to apply
for Correctional Officer Certification...

within six months ofhire, and they have
another six months to get certified.

So any employee can work for your company
for an entire year without certification?

After receiving 40 hours
of annual in-service training-

Forty hours? That would cover your riots,
beatings, shankings, escapes?

Your employee turnover is two-to-three
times that of public prisons, am I right?

- Yes. But-
- And your staff, like the staff
of most private prisons...

is 49% more likely to be assaulted
by the inmates in their charge-

- Look, it's not Club Med. It is a prison.
- I see. We call it prison now.

But for the purpose of getting parents
to elect your for-profit alternative...

you're a detention treatment facility.

That's another lovely word-
"treatment."

It's almost as acceptable as "attack."

Doctors, for example,
like to attack diseases with treatment.

Treatment-attack, attack-treatment.
It doesn't matter which way.

It still sounds better
than "prison rape."

Prison, prison, prison,
rape, rape, rape.

- Objection.
- We have child rape.

- Objection!
- And good that you made a profit.

I'm done.

Straight probation, six months, and you take
your instruction video off YouTube.

No.

Wait a minute. Did you just say "no"?
They're willing to let you go, Marlena.

This is more than just me,
Grammy. I am a movement.

- Millions of kids-
- Oh, give me a break!

I would think you of all
people would understand...

being a former suffragette, that
sometimes you have to stand up-

The law is black-
Did you just call me a former suffragette?

- Aren't you?
- How old do you think I am?

I don't know. 80?

Please leave now.
And take the window. It's faster.

And you, can't you
talk some sense into her?

Actually, I think she's right.

Not about you being 80.
But she should get to vote.

- Excuse me?
- We had 10 million people
without high school diplomas...

vote in the last election.

Why shouldn't Marlena
get to vote?

Carl.

That's her
I'm-not-happy-with-you tone.

Yes, I know it well.

Surely you think
she should settle this case?

Surely I don't...

Shirley.

Give me one reason why we shouldn't
countersue for abuse of process...

filing a frivolous lawsuit,
and possibly extortion?

Well, my impression of the pharmaceutical
industry is that it's always so nice.

He had a scare. But he's fine now.
What are the damages?

Well, emotional distress for starters-

But how did we cause it?

What is it exactly
you're claiming we did?

What you did?
You brainwashed my client.

The massive marketing strategy
employed by your trade association...

caused him to gulp down
42 different drugs on a daily basis.

And it would be foreseeable in your mind
that he'd do this just because-

Certainly foreseeable to you.
You market to senior citizens...

because your research shows
they're easy targets...

- susceptible to deceptive advertising-
- I'm sorry.

You did go to law school, right?

Actually, I bought my degree on the Internet.
What's your point?

What happened to him
was the product of his own stupidity.

That he's able to enlist
his firm and perhaps an equally...

intellectually challenged attorney
to type a cause of action...

on a complaint
does not give him one.

I bet you didn't play well
with others as a child, did you?

- I'm leaving.
- Sit your arrogant ass down, Mr. Mathis.

Better you hear what I have to say now.
It'll be considerably cheaper than in court.

You actually think
you're going to intimidate us?

We're one of the biggest players
in the pharmaceutical industry.

Do you have the slightest sense
ofhow powerful we are?

I have a very acute sense.
Last week I took on the tobacco industry.

Imagine my surprise to discover
you two are so much alike.

You both deny the damaging
health effects of your products.

You both promote so-called independent
research, which you actually finance.

You both market to children.
You both pour...

millions of dollars into lobbying efforts
to buy Congress.

You both suppress information that proves
that your products kill people.

The only difference
I can see is that...

while the F.D.A. Is hostile to cigarettes,
you they roll over for.

- Look-
- I know exactly how big...

and powerful you are, Mr. Mathis.

It might do you some good
to check me out.

I'm the guy who just nicked
Big Tobacco for 200 million.

Now I just sit in my office all day twiddling
my thumbs, asking myself, "Who's next?"

Well, guess what.
It's you.

It's you.

The law is the law.
She broke it.

Now since they've attempted to put the law
itself on trial here, let me defend it.

There is a reason
for voting age minimums.

Most kids aren't as fully informed
as Miss Hoffman is.

Most kids are, well, kids.

And they simply lack
thejudgment and maturity.

A recent poll found that
20% of students at NYU...

would trade their vote in the upcoming
presidential election for an iPod touch.

66% would trade it for free tuition.
Kids are kids.

Which is why this state,
indeed most states, set boundaries.

We don't let them drink
until they're 21.

We don't let them have sex.
We don't allow them to enter into contracts.

Is it fair that Marlena Hoffman...

not be allowed to vote given
how politically aware she is?

Maybe not. But our system here
has to be what's best for the masses.

Specifically what's best for this country.
Letting children vote doesn't serve that goal.

I salute Marlena Hoffman
and her civic commitment. I really do.

Shejust has to wait another year.
Now I know that to her...

that probably seems like a lifetime.

After all, she's a kid.

What's the fear?
That they'll screw things up?

We have a $9.4 trillion debt...

no national health care, unprecedented
poverty, capped by a recession...

a war that could last a hundred years
depending on who wins this election...

an earth that is dying.

Oh, yes. Please, let's not dare let the young
people mess with our masterpiece.

Oh, come on, Mr. Suck!
Don't you think this is ridiculous?

At first I did.
And by the way, it's Sack.

But the more I listen
to Ms. Hoffman-

Children aren't just our future, Judge,
they're our best hope.

We need them involved, on board,
with an appreciation of the stakes.

- This young lady is.
- Come on.

We're talking about electing
our commander in chief.

Yes, I am.

Let's face it. These elections are typically decided
by old coots like you and me.

Why? Because not only
do senior citizens...

historically swing elections
with their votes...

we have the most money
to stuff the campaign coffers.

McCain and Obama
certainly know that.

How else are you to explain
their deafening silence...

on what may be
our biggest fiscal nightmare?

That more and more of
the federal budget now goes...

to subsidizing old people.

Medicare, Medicaid and Social Security
now take up 40%.

And spending on these programs
is expected to double over the next 10 years?

As far as what the kids get, well, let's see.
Failing educational systems...

a broken economy, don't forget the
backdoor draft to get them to fight our wars.

The kids are getting screwed.

There are millions of them
on high school and college campuses...

who are informed, passionate-

- Oh, for God's sake.
- You might also consider, Judge...

that teenagers spend...

over $176 billion a year
of their own money-

Over 176 billion.
They earn it.

They file tax returns.
To tax them while not letting them vote?

It amounts to taxation
without representation.

I think we started a revolutionary war
to right that wrong.

Finally, Your Honor...

I hesitate to say this, but the resistance
to letting young people vote...

may be more insidious and subtle than,
gee, they lack the maturity.

We have an ugly legacy
in this country...

of excluding certain segments
of society.

There are women alive today
who were once denied the right to vote.

Even after African-Americans
were given the right...

many were subjected
to literacy tests...

like in Alabama
where blacks had to...

determine the number of bubbles
in a bar of soap...

before they could cast their ballot.

Today states are passing voter I.D. Laws,
requiring proof of citizenship.

Makes sense on one level.
But the net effect is that...

many U.S. -born citizens
will lose out...

because they're too poor
to afford the documentation.

Millions of felons can't vote.

Also makes sense.

Except when you consider that 13%...

of the U.S. Black male population
fall into that category.

The poor, the black, the young.

A nutty reverend may have been right
when he said that this country...

is ruled by the old,
the white, and the rich.

So, you don't favor
any age requirements?

Lower it to 17.

Nineteen U.S. States are considering
legislation to lower the voting age.

Why? Because it's time.

Our kids are educated.

They can be passionate, socially aware.

They have an idealism
many of us have forgotten.

They have a voice.

It's time we let it be heard.

Not just for their sakes,
but for ours.

- We going into court?
- They filed a motion to dismiss.

- Can we beat it?
- Well, it's a pretty powerful industry, Denny.

Do I have to give you
my big pep talk again?

No. They almost killed you.
You can consider me sufficiently motivated.

Oh, Denny, please don't...

hug me.

All right, look.
I'm kind of a simple guy, I admit.

When I get a case,
I just plop down with the complaint...

a cheeseburger and a pop, and I try
to decipher what the thing is really about.

That's what I do. And I must tell you,
I'm a little bit stumped here.

I mean, it can't be a straight
negligence thing, can it?

First, it wasn't foreseeable that this guard
would commit a sexual assault.

He sure as hell
never did it before.

Second, the prison's operating procedures
were consistent with industry standards.

Third, the plaintiffherself...

would be deemed
contributorily negligent...

since she cultivated
a sexual relationship with this man.

She broke prison rules to be with him.
Hell, she kissed him.

That's probably why
they decided to make this...

a referendum on private prisons.

Better target 'cause "for profit"...

translates to greed and avarice.

And we love taking
the deep pockets down a notch, don't we?

But, folks, private prisons...

are a good thing.

Not only do they save taxpayers money,
they make us safer.

Their recidivism rates
are lower than the state-run facilities.

They also createjobs
and help the economy. I'm sorry.

But you just can't make
a goat of private prisons.

If anything,
we need more of'em.

Now, a horrible thing happened here.

No question.
And blame was assessed.

The rogue guard was arrested
and locked up. Justice was done.

This is a civil trial...

which is trying
to find a correctional facility guilty...

when they did everything right...

according to industry standards.

That's just the truth.

Have we all gone completely mad?

One in a hundred people
in this country are in prison or jail.

The United States has more people locked up
than any other country in the world.

That includes China.

For a nation that bills itself
as the land of the free...

America quite fancies
its slammers.

And with alarming recidivism rates.

Do we really mean to turn this problem
over to the for-profit corporations...

whose very economic survival depends
on people going to prison?

Are we really to believe
they'll rehabilitate their inmates...

when they have
a profit motive not to do so?

If people don't commit crimes,
they're out of business.

You have a cynical view of human nature.
That's what you have, little lady.

Mr. Palmer, with all due respect...

to the fact that you are far simpler
than any of us could aspire to be...

I shall ask you to never ever call me
"little lady" again.

As for human nature, we saw
it in Iraq with Blackwater.

Private corporations hired to protect our troops
chose not to use armored vehicles...

even though the contract
expressly provided for them.

Soldiers died because
some executive...

decided better to save
money than lives.

That's what you get
with for-profit corporations.

They never keep ledger sheets
showing the human cost.

Our prison system releases...

650,000 ex-convicts a year
into society.

Two-thirds of those quickly
commit crimes and return.

That's good for the
for-profit prison business.

Very bad for the welfare
of our citizenry.

And if we go with a system
that disincentivises rehabilitation, then what?

We've already got
2.2 million people in jail.

In fact, many jails have to release criminals
because there is simply no place to put them.

Corners get cut.
Costs get shaved.

Officer training is shortchanged.
And suddenly...

we have children
who are first-time offenders...

being physically attacked
by corrections officers.

Mr. Palmer claims his client
observed industry standards.

Yet his client held himself up
as being above those very standards.

It's the reason Lauren Addario
elected to go to this facility...

is because it promised a safer environment
where she would get treatment.

But whatever standard of care...

one seeks to hold a public
or private prison up to...

it should be one that safeguards
against its 15-year-old girls...

being raped by guards.

All rise.

All right. I did a little research
of my own last night.

I learned that
our brain size peaks at 14...

and our reasoning
abilities peak at 12.

I also discovered that
in preindustrial society...

which didn't even have a word
for adolescence, that postpubescent teens...

are considered adults.

In fact, psychologists
say that by imposing...

all the restrictions that we do on teenagers,
we are infantilizing them.

Part of our grand scheme
to extend childhood.

Many others say
that the only solution...

to teenage angst
and irresponsibility...

is to go in the opposite direction
and treat them as grown-ups.

- Can't he just say that I won and be done with it?
- Shh.

I cannot give you
the right to vote.

But I am satisfied
that your actions were noble...

they were overt,
they did not rise to the level of fraud.

And therefore, I am dismissing
all criminal charges.

We are adjourned.

Very good job, Mr. Old Guy.

You know, I can almost see
what Grammy finds attractive about you.

Marlena, you are not nearly as cute
or obnoxious as you think you are.

What I will say is...
pretty cool kid.

You won't tell Grammy I kind
of like getting on her nerves?

[Whispers]
Secret's safe.

He's failed to state a claim
even suggesting liability.

How is it foreseeable to us that he would
gobble multiple medications...

buying them off the Internet
without even consulting a doctor in person?

That's not just foreseeable.
It's exactly what you count on.

Seducing the more vulnerable members
of society to fall for your snake-oil potions.

- Oh, that's just absurd.
- Your Honor, hundreds
of thousands of people die...

every year from prescription drugs.

27,000 people
were killed by Vioxx.

If you believe one F.D.A.
Official, possibly 50,000.

Yes. But you can't
sue these people for Vioxx.

This isn't about Vioxx, which
they don't even manufacture.

I'm talking about
an industry-wide pattern.

We don't even know
all the potential dangers of these drugs...

because the pharmaceutical industry
systematically conceals them.

They've been caught buying clinical trials,
bribing doctors, distorting science.

Many of these so-called peer-review articles
we see in medical journals...

are actually ghostwritten
by the drug companies themselves.

And doctors take payoffs
and let their names appear as the author.

- You have no evidence that
any of that has happened here.
- Because you hide it!

Your company previously
buried evidence...

which showed a link between antidepressants
and suicidal thoughts in children.

- You did that.
- Which we still deny. And this isn't that case.

He doesn't have one
single fact to support-

The fact is the U.S.
Pharmaceutical industry...

spends almost twice as much on promotion
as it does on research and development.

That's obscene. American television viewers
see as much as 16 hours...

of prescription drug
advertising each year.

Sixteen hours. That's more time
than most people spend at the movies.

The fact is they invent diseases
like social phobia...

generalized anxiety disorder,
to sell mind-altering drugs-

Anxiety is a clinical illness.
To suggest otherwise...

- is not only irresponsible, Your Honor-
- What's irresponsible is...

we have scores of people being diagnosed
with these vague mental disorders.

Millions of whom are children.
What's irresponsible is...

we have three-year-olds
on antidepressants.

Why? Because the drug companies,
just like Big Tobacco...

know if you get these kids when they're
young enough, you have a customer for life.

I should sue you right now!
You do not get a pass-

You want to sue me? Please do.
Because truth is a complete defense.

And I am not
the only one saying this.

This industry
invents chronic diseases.

Be it restless leg, dry eye syndrome,
or these unspecified sleep disorders...

that require taking nightly doses
of habit-forming tranquilizers.

They first concoct the disorder,
next the drug.

And then they blitz the public with commercials
to convince 'em they're afflicted.

And it's especially effective
with senior citizens.

My client was popping pills like candy.
He almost died!

- He's out of control.
- Your industry is out of control!

You manufacture and sell disease
at exorbitant cost.

And the F.D.A.
Refuses to regulate you.

The pharmaceutical lobby
has a death grip on Congress.

Mr. Shore,
you need to settle down.

Your Honor, the F.D.A. Refuses
to go after these people.

So let it be me.
They very nearly killed a man I dearly love.

Let it be me.
But let me get started because they stall.

Of the 27,000 to 50,000
Vioxx deaths...

only 18 cases have reached
juries so far- 18!

Most of the plaintiffs will in fact be dead
before they're compensated in any way.

Well, my client is 75.

So please, let me get started on discovery,
since clearly, I'll need every second.

All right. All right.
I will let this case stand.

- What? Are you crazy?
- Perhaps you have a pill she could take.

You're allowing him to go forward with
no proximate cause. That's preposterous.

What would be preposterous, sir...

is if I were to extend the benefit
of the doubt to your industry.

- Do I look like an idiot?
- They've got a pill for that too.

- Will you shut up?
- I have made my ruling. We are adjourned.

You've bitten off more than you
can chew this time, my friend.

Oh, I don't swallow.
I just chew up and spit out.

- We'll see.
- Zing. I can see you're good at this.

Nervous, Jerry?
Interesting cross of yours.

Little piece of advice, my friend.
Never ever get up in court...

and try to out me... me.

All right, Mr. Foreman.
Thejury has reached its verdict?

- We have, Judge.
- What say you?

In the matter of Lauren Addario versus
Superior Correctional Centers...

we, the jury, find in favor
of the plaintiff...

and order the defendant to pay damages
in the amount of 1.7 million dollars.

- Defense appeals, Judge.
- So noted.

Members of thejury,
thank you for your service.

Thejudgment is entered.
This matter is adjourned.

You did it.

- Congratulations, Lauren.
- Thank you.

Thank you.

Can't win 'em all, Mel. Hey, can you win any?
Two pops for yes, bro.

Jerry, in England, we're taught
to be gracious in victory.

Oh, I couldn't help it.
He's a big boob head.

- Well, congratulations. It seems
your cross carried the day.
- No.

It was your closing.
It was as persuasive as it was elegant.

I guess we make quite a team,
you and me... as-as colleagues.

- Of course, absolutely. As colleagues.
- [Lips Popping]

Last week, Big Tobacco.
This week, big pharmaceuticals.

Oh, why not go
out swinging, right?

Who says we're going out?

I read somewhere you should
live every year as if it's your last.

Really? I can't imagine
this is our last year.

Aren't there still some time slots
we haven't tried?

Do you ever think
about the end, Denny?

Death?

I feel somehow I'll just keep going on
even after it's over, like Hillary.

[Laughs]
Reincarnation.

- You believe in that?
- I do, actually.

What's the alternative?
Nothingness? I can't believe that.

No.

You believe in reincarnation?

I don't know. I suppose
if I ever did get to heaven...

God would almost
certainly return me.

True.

What do you think
you'll be in your next life?

I hope a beautiful woman.
I could touch myself.

- I may want to touch you.
- You've already had your kiss.

- How was it for you?
- I've had better.

- You didn't tongue me, did you?
- Oh, my God.

I must say...

I feel great comfort
the way you're there for me.

When the day does come...

at least I won't be alone.

You won't be alone.

You know, if we are to think of it
as our last year...

we need to think
of how best to go out.

- Fishing for sure.
- For sure.

- Supreme Court, gotta go back.
- Scalia misses me.

Shirley.

Once with Shirley before I go.

I can't believe you actually
got to suck face with me.

- And it brought you back to life.
- Like Snow White.

Like Snow White.

Of all the women I have loved,
been loved by...

whoever would have believed that Alan Shore
would be my Prince Charming?

Let no man tear asunder.

Till death do us part.

Amen.

[Woman]
You stinker!