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1
00:02:12,917 --> 00:02:15,667
Oh, hello. Didn't see you there.
2
00:02:16,125 --> 00:02:18,417
Just enjoying a late supper, been busy.
3
00:02:19,417 --> 00:02:22,125
This is bird's nest soup, it's fantastic.
4
00:02:22,792 --> 00:02:24,208
My name's Shangguan Furong.
5
00:02:24,667 --> 00:02:26,587
You folks like to call me
the Goddess of Fortune.
6
00:02:26,667 --> 00:02:28,187
Some like to call me an Earth Goddess.
7
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Hot guys like to call me... often.
8
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Follow me.
9
00:02:31,292 --> 00:02:32,917
I know what you're thinking.
10
00:02:33,583 --> 00:02:35,125
This gal's hot.
11
00:02:35,583 --> 00:02:37,125
How could she be an Earth Goddess?
12
00:02:37,625 --> 00:02:38,625
Please.
13
00:02:38,917 --> 00:02:40,125
What era you think we're in?
14
00:02:40,875 --> 00:02:42,458
You think I'm so out of touch
15
00:02:42,542 --> 00:02:44,250
I'd walk around looking like a hag?
16
00:02:44,583 --> 00:02:47,458
You see, as an Earth Goddess,
17
00:02:47,458 --> 00:02:49,833
most of my day is devoted
to screwing with people.
18
00:02:49,917 --> 00:02:52,125
Hiding winning lotto tickets,
19
00:02:52,125 --> 00:02:54,583
making money you lost
show up in couch cracks,
20
00:02:54,625 --> 00:02:56,708
kicking guys in the nuts,
stepping on girls' shoes...
21
00:02:56,708 --> 00:02:58,708
It's diverse, but it has to get done.
22
00:02:58,750 --> 00:03:00,458
But every so often I help a human.
23
00:03:00,708 --> 00:03:01,875
The Earth Goddess code is:
24
00:03:01,875 --> 00:03:04,042
Aid humans, if you feel like it.
25
00:03:04,833 --> 00:03:05,833
Catchy, right?
26
00:03:08,625 --> 00:03:09,825
My style from back in the day.
27
00:03:09,958 --> 00:03:11,542
Bitches were so jealous of me.
28
00:03:13,792 --> 00:03:15,458
But I didn't invite you here
29
00:03:15,750 --> 00:03:17,667
to talk about how awesome I am.
30
00:03:18,667 --> 00:03:20,625
Although it's clear I'm seriously awesome.
31
00:03:20,833 --> 00:03:22,375
I want to tell you the story
32
00:03:22,917 --> 00:03:25,875
of how I single-handedly
turned Ma Fendou's life around.
33
00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:28,792
Since you're here, pay attention.
34
00:03:29,125 --> 00:03:30,205
Don't play with your phone,
35
00:03:30,333 --> 00:03:31,792
and if you have to tinkle, hold it.
36
00:03:32,292 --> 00:03:33,917
Or use a bottle or a plastic bag.
37
00:03:34,167 --> 00:03:35,208
Anyways,
38
00:03:35,208 --> 00:03:36,875
when it came to this Ma kid,
39
00:03:37,167 --> 00:03:38,667
I liked the cut of his jib.
40
00:03:39,083 --> 00:03:40,708
I decided to help him.
41
00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:43,542
Oh Furong, I love it when you help people.
42
00:03:43,583 --> 00:03:44,583
It's so sexy.
43
00:03:47,125 --> 00:03:48,583
I know what you're thinking.
44
00:03:49,208 --> 00:03:51,125
Who the hell is Ma Fendou?
45
00:03:51,500 --> 00:03:54,583
What's so special that I chose him?
46
00:03:55,958 --> 00:03:58,833
You like to say you're in
control of your destiny.
47
00:04:00,083 --> 00:04:01,083
Really?
48
00:04:01,833 --> 00:04:04,042
Are you really in control of your fate?
49
00:04:04,875 --> 00:04:08,250
Well, he was asking himself
the exact same question.
50
00:04:16,083 --> 00:04:18,333
Bet you the kids down there are thinking,
51
00:04:19,125 --> 00:04:21,375
who are the morons on stage?
52
00:04:21,958 --> 00:04:23,083
I don't get it.
53
00:04:23,542 --> 00:04:25,292
Why are you so eager to come back here?
54
00:04:25,667 --> 00:04:27,667
Weren't you bullied enough here?
55
00:04:28,042 --> 00:04:29,042
Ain't worried.
56
00:04:29,333 --> 00:04:30,500
I've still got you here.
57
00:04:30,833 --> 00:04:31,833
No thanks.
58
00:04:32,458 --> 00:04:34,125
I lost two teeth on account of you.
59
00:04:34,292 --> 00:04:35,852
I'd like to keep the ones on this side.
60
00:04:36,500 --> 00:04:37,500
You know I love you.
61
00:04:37,958 --> 00:04:39,250
All right, quiet down.
62
00:04:39,625 --> 00:04:40,625
Okay, students.
63
00:04:41,042 --> 00:04:43,042
Today we've invited several
64
00:04:43,042 --> 00:04:44,708
of our school's alumni to be here.
65
00:04:45,042 --> 00:04:46,333
To share personal experiences
66
00:04:46,417 --> 00:04:48,375
in their respective industries.
67
00:04:49,583 --> 00:04:50,583
Hey, Fei
68
00:04:51,292 --> 00:04:52,292
Miss Chen.
69
00:04:52,458 --> 00:04:53,458
Holy moly.
70
00:04:53,625 --> 00:04:54,625
She's still here!
71
00:04:57,125 --> 00:04:58,417
That woman
72
00:04:58,542 --> 00:05:00,917
makes my wife look like bat barf.
73
00:05:00,917 --> 00:05:03,500
In the past, the speakers we've invited
74
00:05:03,500 --> 00:05:07,333
have all been CEO's,
CFO's, COO's and the like.
75
00:05:07,792 --> 00:05:11,000
This year, I've invited several alumni
76
00:05:11,042 --> 00:05:12,417
who are a little different.
77
00:05:14,125 --> 00:05:16,958
But of course, for what they do,
78
00:05:16,958 --> 00:05:18,375
they're also successful.
79
00:05:19,417 --> 00:05:20,417
And now,
80
00:05:20,583 --> 00:05:21,667
let's welcome...
81
00:05:23,625 --> 00:05:24,625
Ma Fendou.
82
00:05:24,958 --> 00:05:26,458
Go get 'em, bro!
83
00:05:32,583 --> 00:05:37,667
Hello, teachers, students.
84
00:05:37,750 --> 00:05:39,042
I'm Ma Fendou.
85
00:05:39,375 --> 00:05:40,375
I'm...
86
00:05:41,583 --> 00:05:42,583
I'm...
87
00:05:49,083 --> 00:05:50,083
I'm an...
88
00:05:50,458 --> 00:05:51,833
I work for Huansheng...
89
00:05:51,875 --> 00:05:53,750
You're just a dumbass insurance salesman!
90
00:06:09,167 --> 00:06:10,542
My nuts!
91
00:06:17,792 --> 00:06:19,667
Sorry, I booked this taxi. I'm in a hurry.
92
00:06:19,667 --> 00:06:20,833
What? I'm in a hurry too.
93
00:06:21,083 --> 00:06:22,083
Come on, please!
94
00:06:22,167 --> 00:06:23,167
Hey, taxi!
95
00:06:24,500 --> 00:06:25,500
Mr. Bo,
96
00:06:25,583 --> 00:06:28,542
You haven't told me how
big your company is,
97
00:06:28,875 --> 00:06:29,995
but no matter how big it is,
98
00:06:30,208 --> 00:06:32,417
these options, like:
99
00:06:32,625 --> 00:06:33,750
extra rider B
100
00:06:33,833 --> 00:06:35,417
are not necessary for you.
101
00:06:35,833 --> 00:06:37,542
Honestly, they're scams.
102
00:06:38,167 --> 00:06:40,792
You'd be wasting money if you buy it.
103
00:06:43,375 --> 00:06:45,125
As a kid, I always thought
104
00:06:45,125 --> 00:06:46,958
my life would turn out amazing.
105
00:06:47,917 --> 00:06:49,757
Maybe that's why people
said you were retarded.
106
00:07:03,917 --> 00:07:04,542
Yo, Fen!
107
00:07:04,542 --> 00:07:05,542
Hey, Wang.
108
00:07:06,833 --> 00:07:07,833
Long time no see.
109
00:07:08,333 --> 00:07:10,458
You weren't at the class reunion.
110
00:07:10,667 --> 00:07:11,708
What's up?
111
00:07:11,750 --> 00:07:14,625
Heard you're working at a shipping company?
112
00:07:15,125 --> 00:07:16,333
You're thinking of Li.
113
00:07:16,333 --> 00:07:16,917
I'm at --
114
00:07:16,917 --> 00:07:17,917
-- that's great!
115
00:07:18,542 --> 00:07:19,542
I got a meeting.
116
00:07:19,917 --> 00:07:20,917
Hang soon!
117
00:07:21,292 --> 00:07:22,292
Take it easy.
118
00:07:45,958 --> 00:07:47,042
Look at yourself!
119
00:07:49,792 --> 00:07:51,625
You look like my uncle's nutsack.
120
00:07:51,875 --> 00:07:53,458
Stop yelling.
121
00:07:53,708 --> 00:07:54,708
Quick, look!
122
00:07:54,833 --> 00:07:55,833
Your ex-girlfriend.
123
00:07:56,625 --> 00:07:58,434
- Meimei and I have great chemistry.
- It's on again.
124
00:07:58,458 --> 00:07:59,667
A hot physical connection.
125
00:08:00,292 --> 00:08:01,892
- Turn it off.
- And it just gets better.
126
00:08:02,667 --> 00:08:03,917
But when a friend told us
127
00:08:04,375 --> 00:08:07,167
about Goddess 2-in-1 Massage Lotion,
128
00:08:07,417 --> 00:08:09,083
we decided to give a try.
129
00:08:09,750 --> 00:08:12,417
- Turn it off!
- Let's just say...
130
00:08:12,417 --> 00:08:13,750
This shit's the funniest!
131
00:08:13,750 --> 00:08:15,250
Hmm, exactly.
132
00:08:15,333 --> 00:08:16,458
Why aren't you watching?
133
00:08:17,167 --> 00:08:18,292
It's classic!
134
00:08:22,083 --> 00:08:24,500
Stupid infomercial's on every hour.
135
00:08:25,792 --> 00:08:27,333
Can't miss it even if you try.
136
00:08:27,375 --> 00:08:29,167
It totally should be!
137
00:08:29,458 --> 00:08:30,917
Kai Li and I tried that stuff.
138
00:08:31,042 --> 00:08:32,583
The results are indeed...
139
00:08:33,167 --> 00:08:34,750
"Hmm, exactly."
140
00:08:40,375 --> 00:08:41,708
Hurry. Your phone.
141
00:08:43,292 --> 00:08:44,333
Hey, quick! Lotion girl!
142
00:08:46,875 --> 00:08:47,875
Hello?
143
00:08:49,042 --> 00:08:50,583
Hi Shanshan.
144
00:08:50,583 --> 00:08:51,983
Thought you wouldn't pick up again.
145
00:08:54,792 --> 00:08:55,875
Yeah, sorry.
146
00:08:55,958 --> 00:08:57,417
I've just been really busy lately.
147
00:08:59,208 --> 00:09:00,500
Oh. That’s good.
148
00:09:01,917 --> 00:09:02,917
So, how are you?
149
00:09:03,583 --> 00:09:05,042
How's Hong Kong?
150
00:09:05,125 --> 00:09:06,268
Kongers staying off your back?
151
00:09:06,292 --> 00:09:08,167
I'm actually in Beijing now.
152
00:09:08,458 --> 00:09:09,458
Beijing?
153
00:09:10,458 --> 00:09:12,000
You're moving to Hong Kong,
154
00:09:12,125 --> 00:09:14,000
I don't see how this
relationship will work.
155
00:09:14,083 --> 00:09:15,083
This again!
156
00:09:15,625 --> 00:09:16,665
I'm not immigrating there.
157
00:09:16,917 --> 00:09:18,542
I'll be back after I finish that class.
158
00:09:18,583 --> 00:09:20,292
I feel like you deserve better than me.
159
00:09:20,292 --> 00:09:21,375
That's a lot of pressure.
160
00:09:21,375 --> 00:09:22,708
When have I ever complained?
161
00:09:23,333 --> 00:09:23,917
I...
162
00:09:24,333 --> 00:09:25,333
I always thought...
163
00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:28,083
my life would be more than this.
164
00:09:31,250 --> 00:09:34,750
Should we... meet up or something?
165
00:09:35,083 --> 00:09:36,958
Fendou, I'm getting married.
166
00:09:41,958 --> 00:09:42,958
What?
167
00:09:43,833 --> 00:09:44,833
To whom?
168
00:09:46,167 --> 00:09:47,167
Are you serious?
169
00:09:47,583 --> 00:09:48,750
I really don't know.
170
00:09:49,417 --> 00:09:51,500
My boyfriend. Who else?
171
00:09:52,250 --> 00:09:54,250
I thought you guys just met.
172
00:09:54,292 --> 00:09:55,708
That was like six months ago.
173
00:09:56,500 --> 00:09:57,542
For the past six years,
174
00:09:57,542 --> 00:09:59,417
you're all I've thought about.
175
00:09:59,708 --> 00:10:00,708
So it's my fault?
176
00:10:01,250 --> 00:10:02,667
I'm not saying it's your fault.
177
00:10:02,667 --> 00:10:03,875
But I feel we should...
178
00:10:04,750 --> 00:10:05,958
take some time off...
179
00:10:06,083 --> 00:10:07,750
I need to adjust my life.
180
00:10:08,958 --> 00:10:09,958
I don't get it.
181
00:10:11,208 --> 00:10:13,000
You don't want to be with me anymore?
182
00:10:13,250 --> 00:10:15,250
Who knows what will happen in 6 months.
183
00:10:19,875 --> 00:10:21,083
That's awesome.
184
00:10:22,042 --> 00:10:23,042
Congrats.
185
00:10:23,917 --> 00:10:24,917
Really!
186
00:10:25,833 --> 00:10:26,833
I mean I...
187
00:10:26,917 --> 00:10:28,083
When's the wedding?
188
00:10:28,708 --> 00:10:29,708
This Sunday.
189
00:10:30,417 --> 00:10:31,958
This Sunday?
190
00:10:32,375 --> 00:10:33,375
Wow, that’s...
191
00:10:33,958 --> 00:10:35,000
fantastic!
192
00:10:36,417 --> 00:10:38,292
I mean, you must be so happy.
193
00:10:38,625 --> 00:10:39,917
You got the license so fast.
194
00:10:40,250 --> 00:10:43,125
No, we're going to register in Hong Kong.
195
00:10:43,250 --> 00:10:44,833
But since my family and
friends are all here,
196
00:10:44,833 --> 00:10:47,042
my parents are having
this celebration first.
197
00:10:47,208 --> 00:10:48,417
I thought of inviting you,
198
00:10:48,542 --> 00:10:49,542
but...
199
00:10:49,625 --> 00:10:51,042
No, it's cool.
200
00:10:51,417 --> 00:10:52,417
It'd be too awkward.
201
00:10:53,375 --> 00:10:54,583
I get it. It's all good.
202
00:10:54,583 --> 00:10:55,583
Feel's strange
203
00:10:55,667 --> 00:10:58,250
being back and not seeing you.
204
00:10:59,542 --> 00:11:00,417
No worries.
205
00:11:00,542 --> 00:11:01,833
I'll call you to catch up.
206
00:11:02,625 --> 00:11:04,333
Okay, bye.
207
00:11:04,792 --> 00:11:05,792
Bye.
208
00:11:12,833 --> 00:11:13,833
You alright?
209
00:11:16,833 --> 00:11:17,833
I'm good!
210
00:11:19,792 --> 00:11:21,583
The burden is lifted, man.
211
00:11:22,167 --> 00:11:24,000
I can finally move on.
212
00:11:26,792 --> 00:11:29,333
Go man. Since you moved in,
all I see is your undies.
213
00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:32,625
You've always been jealous of me.
214
00:11:32,875 --> 00:11:34,333
Kai Li even said,
215
00:11:34,583 --> 00:11:36,292
from a 45 degree angle,
216
00:11:36,292 --> 00:11:38,167
I look like her idol Daniel Wu.
217
00:11:49,375 --> 00:11:51,875
I'm doing the ad just for
fun -- and a few bucks.
218
00:11:52,333 --> 00:11:53,833
I'm going to Hong Kong anyway.
219
00:11:54,250 --> 00:11:56,042
I haven't given up my dreams of
220
00:11:56,125 --> 00:11:57,583
being a top interior decorator.
221
00:11:57,750 --> 00:11:58,750
Congrats.
222
00:11:59,250 --> 00:12:00,250
Thank you.
223
00:12:05,333 --> 00:12:06,583
This song again!
224
00:12:07,375 --> 00:12:08,375
Remember?
225
00:12:38,667 --> 00:12:39,667
Also...
226
00:12:39,875 --> 00:12:41,583
Your recent sales reports show
227
00:12:41,583 --> 00:12:43,542
you haven't been selling our new products.
228
00:12:44,917 --> 00:12:46,458
That's because they're pointless.
229
00:12:47,125 --> 00:12:48,518
I'm not selling pointless products.
230
00:12:48,542 --> 00:12:50,083
Don't we want the clients to trust us?
231
00:12:50,083 --> 00:12:51,708
What's going on with you?
232
00:12:52,167 --> 00:12:53,208
Look at Taozi.
233
00:12:54,667 --> 00:12:56,708
He's like the son I never had.
234
00:12:57,792 --> 00:13:00,125
Stop repeating what grandpa told you.
235
00:13:00,667 --> 00:13:03,042
What? He's the son I never had.
236
00:13:03,042 --> 00:13:05,333
Instead, you're the son I had.
237
00:13:05,333 --> 00:13:06,333
Makes perfect sense.
238
00:13:08,250 --> 00:13:09,250
Look at what he's doing!
239
00:13:09,667 --> 00:13:10,537
What about it?
240
00:13:10,542 --> 00:13:13,022
If you can't sell, you might as
well just play with your balls.
241
00:13:13,333 --> 00:13:14,625
Look at your mother.
242
00:13:17,833 --> 00:13:19,625
That's what delivering looks like.
243
00:13:19,792 --> 00:13:22,292
Look, top brass has made it clear,
244
00:13:22,417 --> 00:13:25,875
if you don't start improving your figures,
245
00:13:26,333 --> 00:13:29,333
I'm afraid even your mom
and I can't save you.
246
00:13:35,458 --> 00:13:37,208
I think this time, he gets it.
247
00:13:38,167 --> 00:13:39,292
You spoiled him.
248
00:13:39,875 --> 00:13:41,708
He's got no fight in him.
249
00:13:41,708 --> 00:13:42,833
Just look at him.
250
00:13:54,792 --> 00:13:56,417
How do I get insurance around here?
251
00:13:58,083 --> 00:13:59,083
Please.
252
00:13:59,708 --> 00:14:03,167
Reminder, mandatory
team-building game's at 3pm.
253
00:14:10,583 --> 00:14:11,917
You're not happy here, are you?
254
00:14:12,708 --> 00:14:13,708
Where?
255
00:14:14,292 --> 00:14:15,375
At this job?
256
00:14:15,542 --> 00:14:16,542
Here. There.
257
00:14:16,708 --> 00:14:18,083
You've been unhappy recently.
258
00:14:19,625 --> 00:14:20,125
How do you --
259
00:14:20,125 --> 00:14:22,042
I know a lot of things, Niu Fendou.
260
00:14:22,333 --> 00:14:23,708
It's Ma Fendou.
261
00:14:24,542 --> 00:14:25,708
I was just like you.
262
00:14:26,292 --> 00:14:27,583
Well, maybe not just like you.
263
00:14:28,042 --> 00:14:30,042
Wait, actually, I was nothing like you.
264
00:14:30,375 --> 00:14:32,333
That's weird. Why would I say that?
265
00:14:33,042 --> 00:14:34,917
But I've seen people like you.
266
00:14:37,417 --> 00:14:40,958
Miss, what exactly can I do for you?
267
00:14:41,292 --> 00:14:42,833
You're here for insurance, or...
268
00:14:42,833 --> 00:14:43,917
I'm here to help you.
269
00:14:44,083 --> 00:14:44,875
Help me?
270
00:14:44,875 --> 00:14:46,208
Oh, am I ever.
271
00:14:46,292 --> 00:14:47,292
How?
272
00:14:50,083 --> 00:14:51,083
I got it.
273
00:14:56,125 --> 00:14:57,583
Bro, you got a package!
274
00:14:58,333 --> 00:14:59,750
What's wrong with you?
275
00:14:59,750 --> 00:15:01,375
Can't you see I'm busy?
276
00:15:01,667 --> 00:15:03,583
Don't worry, Yang Fendou, he can't see me.
277
00:15:03,875 --> 00:15:04,875
Who's this?
278
00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:08,792
I meant he can't see the real me.
279
00:15:08,792 --> 00:15:10,167
The scared little girl inside
280
00:15:10,625 --> 00:15:13,083
who misses her father and what-not.
281
00:15:16,708 --> 00:15:17,917
Aren't you gonna open it?
282
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:19,167
Let's open it.
283
00:15:23,458 --> 00:15:24,458
Hey, Mr. Bo.
284
00:15:24,750 --> 00:15:25,792
Mr. Bo, I'm sorry.
285
00:15:25,917 --> 00:15:27,875
I busy with a client now.
286
00:15:27,958 --> 00:15:29,542
I'll call you back later, okay?
287
00:15:29,958 --> 00:15:30,625
Sure, cool.
288
00:15:30,625 --> 00:15:31,792
Real sorry. Cheers.
289
00:15:32,542 --> 00:15:34,125
I'll be leaving.
290
00:15:34,833 --> 00:15:36,083
I'll be back.
291
00:15:36,500 --> 00:15:38,333
Uh, okay.
292
00:15:39,792 --> 00:15:40,917
Who's it from?
293
00:15:41,292 --> 00:15:43,250
Don't know. No return address.
294
00:15:45,917 --> 00:15:48,000
Maybe it's a box of lotion!
295
00:15:51,250 --> 00:15:52,542
What the hell is this?
296
00:15:53,958 --> 00:15:54,958
Plastic money?
297
00:15:58,000 --> 00:15:59,750
"Everything You've Ever Wanted"
298
00:16:00,125 --> 00:16:01,500
You piss somebody off?
299
00:16:02,042 --> 00:16:03,250
Yeah right.
300
00:16:05,375 --> 00:16:06,750
I know who sent it.
301
00:16:06,792 --> 00:16:07,458
Who?
302
00:16:07,458 --> 00:16:08,833
The crazy lady who was just here,
303
00:16:09,292 --> 00:16:10,375
spouting weird things,
304
00:16:10,792 --> 00:16:12,250
and wearing a gold money necklace.
305
00:16:16,958 --> 00:16:19,000
That chick definitely wants to bang you.
306
00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:19,958
Think about it.
307
00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:21,458
She got straight to the point.
308
00:16:21,667 --> 00:16:25,042
“Everything you've ever wanted.”
309
00:16:25,167 --> 00:16:26,708
And, quite honestly bro,
310
00:16:27,125 --> 00:16:28,708
maybe what you want,
311
00:16:28,958 --> 00:16:31,333
is exactly what that ol' lady can give you.
312
00:16:31,333 --> 00:16:32,583
Very funny.
313
00:16:33,458 --> 00:16:34,625
No, seriously.
314
00:16:35,917 --> 00:16:38,417
Have you been with a woman since Shanshan?
315
00:16:39,542 --> 00:16:40,542
Have you?
316
00:16:46,125 --> 00:16:47,125
Time out.
317
00:16:47,792 --> 00:16:48,792
Fendou.
318
00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:49,903
You're up.
319
00:16:49,917 --> 00:16:52,042
No need, chief, I'm fine!
320
00:16:52,250 --> 00:16:53,250
Sure?
321
00:16:53,250 --> 00:16:54,333
Totally!
322
00:16:55,833 --> 00:16:56,833
Right.
323
00:16:57,625 --> 00:16:59,125
You are our best 3-point shooter.
324
00:16:59,583 --> 00:17:00,583
Dad!
325
00:17:02,708 --> 00:17:04,625
No, we better not risk it.
326
00:17:05,667 --> 00:17:08,333
Not sure if your coverage is high enough.
327
00:17:16,333 --> 00:17:17,333
Don't rush it!
328
00:17:17,708 --> 00:17:19,500
Pass to me! Over here!
329
00:17:19,583 --> 00:17:20,583
Mom!
330
00:17:21,042 --> 00:17:22,167
Hey, here!
331
00:17:22,500 --> 00:17:23,500
Here!
332
00:17:23,917 --> 00:17:25,833
Mom!
333
00:17:29,792 --> 00:17:30,792
Go! Go!
334
00:17:36,292 --> 00:17:38,000
Man, you're hopeless.
335
00:17:39,167 --> 00:17:40,542
Son, are you okay?
336
00:17:41,542 --> 00:17:45,250
"We may lose, but we never give up!"
337
00:17:45,500 --> 00:17:49,000
"We may lose, but we never give up!"
338
00:17:49,292 --> 00:17:50,875
Get the ball.
339
00:17:51,250 --> 00:17:52,708
Lin, is your foot okay?
340
00:17:52,708 --> 00:17:53,708
Get back in.
341
00:17:57,208 --> 00:18:00,083
At least you guys made it to the finals.
342
00:18:01,500 --> 00:18:04,750
Dude, it's gonna get better.
343
00:18:05,042 --> 00:18:06,833
Yeah? When?
344
00:18:16,458 --> 00:18:17,667
Kill me now.
345
00:18:18,542 --> 00:18:21,083
A bus? It's on buses now?
346
00:18:21,667 --> 00:18:23,708
You should be happy for her.
347
00:18:24,292 --> 00:18:26,417
She seems to be doing better.
348
00:18:26,417 --> 00:18:27,708
I am happy for her.
349
00:18:29,042 --> 00:18:31,208
I just don't want to see her everywhere.
350
00:18:31,958 --> 00:18:33,792
I just wanna say one thing.
351
00:18:36,458 --> 00:18:38,125
That lube is the best!
352
00:18:40,583 --> 00:18:42,208
Ugh, that burger isn't settling well.
353
00:18:43,833 --> 00:18:45,625
I'm gonna get another.
354
00:18:50,958 --> 00:18:51,958
So, you want it?
355
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:55,500
Lady, listen,
356
00:18:56,917 --> 00:18:58,625
I'm flattered,
357
00:18:59,125 --> 00:19:01,958
but you're not exactly my type.
358
00:19:01,958 --> 00:19:04,208
I'm not after sweaty cougar sex, Niu Niu.
359
00:19:05,042 --> 00:19:06,500
Unless that's what you're after.
360
00:19:06,875 --> 00:19:08,125
We can arrange it.
361
00:19:09,458 --> 00:19:10,542
Who are you?
362
00:19:10,875 --> 00:19:12,500
And my name is Ma Fendou,
363
00:19:12,500 --> 00:19:14,208
not Niu Fendou,
364
00:19:14,208 --> 00:19:15,875
and definitely not Niu Niu.
365
00:19:16,750 --> 00:19:18,292
My name is Shangguan Furong.
366
00:19:18,792 --> 00:19:20,632
And I'm the Earth Goddess
in this part of town.
367
00:19:20,750 --> 00:19:22,208
I'm sure you know what that is.
368
00:19:24,042 --> 00:19:25,042
Oh really?
369
00:19:25,417 --> 00:19:27,708
For reals, squirt!
370
00:19:27,708 --> 00:19:29,208
You can call me Furong.
371
00:19:29,542 --> 00:19:30,542
OK,
372
00:19:30,875 --> 00:19:32,083
whatever you say.
373
00:19:32,333 --> 00:19:33,375
Do you want it?
374
00:19:33,417 --> 00:19:34,458
Want what?
375
00:19:34,500 --> 00:19:35,958
Yes or no?
376
00:19:36,167 --> 00:19:37,958
I don't even know what
you're talking about!
377
00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:39,792
If it's something good,
of course I want it.
378
00:19:40,250 --> 00:19:41,250
All right.
379
00:19:41,417 --> 00:19:45,583
I will grant 19 of your old wishes,
380
00:19:45,875 --> 00:19:48,333
starting from the first wish
you ever made until today.
381
00:19:48,667 --> 00:19:49,667
Wow. Impressive.
382
00:19:49,875 --> 00:19:51,167
19 wishes?
383
00:19:51,458 --> 00:19:53,500
When was my first wish exactly?
384
00:19:53,500 --> 00:19:54,875
When you were six years old.
385
00:19:55,708 --> 00:19:59,083
Hey, exactly twenty-something
years ago today.
386
00:19:59,292 --> 00:20:00,375
Today?
387
00:20:01,500 --> 00:20:02,500
Lady,
388
00:20:02,583 --> 00:20:04,667
I'm already in my 30's, OK?
389
00:20:06,792 --> 00:20:07,875
That doesn't matter.
390
00:20:08,583 --> 00:20:10,750
What matters is you made the wishes.
391
00:20:11,208 --> 00:20:12,208
Yeah, and then?
392
00:20:12,292 --> 00:20:15,125
Then from your many wishes, I choose 19,
393
00:20:15,125 --> 00:20:18,208
and make them come true.
394
00:20:18,375 --> 00:20:20,417
The 19 miracles of Ma Fendou!
395
00:20:23,875 --> 00:20:24,875
Look, lady.
396
00:20:25,125 --> 00:20:26,458
Thanks for the crazy,
397
00:20:26,500 --> 00:20:28,250
but that's a nice cool area there,
398
00:20:28,250 --> 00:20:30,083
why don't you go scam them?
399
00:20:31,625 --> 00:20:33,167
This isn't a scam.
400
00:20:33,167 --> 00:20:34,958
It's an incredible opportunity.
401
00:20:35,375 --> 00:20:36,500
And how should I thank you?
402
00:20:37,542 --> 00:20:39,667
Just give me your soul.
403
00:20:42,958 --> 00:20:44,375
Just kidding.
404
00:20:44,792 --> 00:20:46,625
I'm an Earth Goddess, not the Grim Reaper.
405
00:20:46,708 --> 00:20:48,208
The hell am I gonna do with a soul?
406
00:20:48,917 --> 00:20:50,333
Okay, gotta bounce.
407
00:20:50,333 --> 00:20:51,708
You made a good choice.
408
00:20:52,958 --> 00:20:54,083
Wait. What choice?
409
00:20:54,458 --> 00:20:55,542
I didn't choose anything.
410
00:20:55,542 --> 00:20:57,667
And thus, you've chosen everything.
411
00:21:00,708 --> 00:21:02,208
Psycho.
412
00:21:04,333 --> 00:21:05,375
Who you talking to?
413
00:21:06,125 --> 00:21:08,042
The nutjob from the office.
414
00:21:08,042 --> 00:21:08,875
No,
415
00:21:09,042 --> 00:21:10,458
I saw you talking to someone,
but I didn't see anyone.
416
00:21:10,458 --> 00:21:12,578
I saw you talking to someone,
but I didn't see anyone.
417
00:21:16,542 --> 00:21:17,542
What do you mean?
418
00:21:18,375 --> 00:21:20,125
Nah, I'm just messing!
419
00:21:20,375 --> 00:21:22,500
What's the plan? You hooking up?
420
00:21:22,625 --> 00:21:23,792
When you guys going out?
421
00:21:24,458 --> 00:21:25,458
Shit.
422
00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:32,792
I don't know,
423
00:21:32,833 --> 00:21:37,042
5' 4"... maybe 5' 5"?
424
00:21:37,667 --> 00:21:41,542
No, I didn't say she dressed like a deity.
425
00:21:41,667 --> 00:21:43,208
She said she was one.
426
00:21:43,375 --> 00:21:45,042
You're the cops! Who else would I call?
427
00:21:45,458 --> 00:21:48,083
How can you stink so bad
when you barely played?
428
00:21:48,208 --> 00:21:49,917
Hang up and take a shower bro!
429
00:21:50,750 --> 00:21:51,917
They hung up on me!
430
00:21:52,208 --> 00:21:54,125
Look, if that crazy
chick wanted to kill you,
431
00:21:54,125 --> 00:21:55,958
she would have done it in the restaurant.
432
00:21:56,042 --> 00:21:58,875
So go shower, you smelly smelly bitch.
433
00:22:20,542 --> 00:22:21,583
Is your water working?
434
00:22:24,125 --> 00:22:25,125
Guess not.
435
00:22:29,958 --> 00:22:31,458
Why isn't mine?
436
00:22:41,625 --> 00:22:43,125
Hey.
437
00:23:05,083 --> 00:23:06,208
What the--!
438
00:23:07,875 --> 00:23:08,875
Oh shit!
439
00:23:11,125 --> 00:23:12,125
Oh shit!
440
00:23:12,292 --> 00:23:13,625
Crazy shit's happening!
441
00:23:13,625 --> 00:23:14,667
Tell me about it.
442
00:23:14,667 --> 00:23:16,792
I think I've got hair growing on my ass.
443
00:23:16,792 --> 00:23:17,875
How does that happen?
444
00:23:17,875 --> 00:23:19,042
No, man! The water!
445
00:23:19,292 --> 00:23:20,417
The water...
446
00:23:20,458 --> 00:23:21,750
when I poured it on me,
447
00:23:21,875 --> 00:23:23,833
the water split, it avoided me!
448
00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:25,167
How is that possible!
449
00:23:25,208 --> 00:23:27,500
Keep yelling, maybe water fairies will come
450
00:23:27,500 --> 00:23:28,875
then we can really have some fun.
451
00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:31,333
Come and look if you don't believe me!
452
00:23:31,500 --> 00:23:33,625
I can't take a shower!
453
00:23:33,750 --> 00:23:35,583
Come to my bathroom. I'll show you.
454
00:23:35,708 --> 00:23:36,958
If you're trying to get me
455
00:23:36,958 --> 00:23:39,083
to look at a big dump you
took, don't flush.
456
00:23:39,292 --> 00:23:41,292
I'll check it out tomorrow. I promise.
457
00:23:41,542 --> 00:23:43,292
I'm not messing with you.
458
00:23:43,375 --> 00:23:45,292
I'm seriously freaking out here!
459
00:23:45,292 --> 00:23:47,833
And I'm seriously trying to sleep, bro.
460
00:23:47,833 --> 00:23:49,167
I have an early shift!
461
00:23:51,083 --> 00:23:52,500
Wait, I got it.
462
00:23:52,917 --> 00:23:54,597
You got hit in the head with a basketball.
463
00:23:55,083 --> 00:23:57,292
You're probably just hallucinating.
464
00:23:57,875 --> 00:23:58,875
Hallucinating...
465
00:23:59,583 --> 00:24:01,750
It's probably just a little brain damage.
466
00:24:01,750 --> 00:24:03,208
You just need a good night's sleep.
467
00:24:04,917 --> 00:24:06,167
Could be, huh.
468
00:25:16,750 --> 00:25:17,750
What's up?
469
00:25:18,250 --> 00:25:19,250
You!
470
00:25:19,458 --> 00:25:20,500
How are you here?
471
00:25:22,750 --> 00:25:23,750
It was you!
472
00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:25,917
Did you slip me something?
473
00:25:27,625 --> 00:25:28,750
Why are you messing with me?!
474
00:25:28,750 --> 00:25:30,208
I'm not doing anything to you.
475
00:25:30,500 --> 00:25:32,417
They're your wishes, remember?
476
00:25:32,417 --> 00:25:33,542
My wishes?!
477
00:25:34,875 --> 00:25:36,208
What the hell you talking about?!
478
00:25:38,167 --> 00:25:40,958
When you were six, you hated taking baths.
479
00:25:41,042 --> 00:25:43,833
You wished to never take another one.
480
00:25:44,625 --> 00:25:45,958
When you were seven-and-a-half,
481
00:25:45,958 --> 00:25:48,125
you wished you never had to sleep.
482
00:25:48,250 --> 00:25:50,458
I hooked it up.
483
00:25:54,375 --> 00:25:57,083
Awesome, right?
484
00:25:57,500 --> 00:26:00,458
Just think of all the
fun things you can do,
485
00:26:00,625 --> 00:26:03,250
read, watch movies, play video games,
486
00:26:03,250 --> 00:26:04,583
tweet, chat...
487
00:26:04,667 --> 00:26:06,292
all while smelling like ass.
488
00:26:06,750 --> 00:26:08,125
What time is it?
489
00:26:08,292 --> 00:26:09,458
Hit me, hit me.
490
00:26:16,708 --> 00:26:18,000
Hey Furong, how come you're still here?
491
00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:19,042
I'm still eating.
492
00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:21,000
You freak!
493
00:26:21,333 --> 00:26:22,792
Strange woman sitting here,
494
00:26:23,042 --> 00:26:24,125
wearing PJs,
495
00:26:24,500 --> 00:26:25,660
eating breakfast in our home,
496
00:26:25,958 --> 00:26:27,250
and you don't think it's weird?
497
00:26:27,417 --> 00:26:29,292
I got thirsty last night,
498
00:26:29,292 --> 00:26:30,250
and saw her eating snacks here.
499
00:26:30,250 --> 00:26:31,542
We chatted a bit.
500
00:26:31,583 --> 00:26:32,583
Hungry?
501
00:26:32,792 --> 00:26:33,250
No.
502
00:26:33,333 --> 00:26:34,042
Have a drink.
503
00:26:34,042 --> 00:26:35,042
Word.
504
00:26:39,375 --> 00:26:41,875
Thought you let this Earth Goddess in.
505
00:26:45,125 --> 00:26:46,124
What's wrong?
506
00:26:46,125 --> 00:26:48,085
He can't read the clock.
Doesn't know the numbers.
507
00:26:49,083 --> 00:26:50,500
Why can't I read the numbers?
508
00:26:51,042 --> 00:26:53,292
When you were 9, you had trouble in school.
509
00:26:53,875 --> 00:26:56,542
One day in class, he quietly said:
510
00:26:57,167 --> 00:26:59,250
I wish I don't have to know math.
511
00:26:59,250 --> 00:27:01,000
- Classic!
- Are you serious?
512
00:27:01,667 --> 00:27:04,042
I wanted to get out of math
class, not be innumerate!
513
00:27:04,042 --> 00:27:05,542
Semantics man, semantics.
514
00:27:05,917 --> 00:27:07,500
Quick! What's 3 times 5?
515
00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:10,375
Don't think. What's three times five?
516
00:27:10,375 --> 00:27:11,875
Just say what it is. Quick!
517
00:27:11,917 --> 00:27:13,542
Three times five, I know.
518
00:27:13,542 --> 00:27:14,542
Don't think! Don't think! Say it!
519
00:27:14,542 --> 00:27:16,125
I know it, it's easy.
520
00:27:17,625 --> 00:27:19,434
I don't even know what
three and five look like!
521
00:27:19,458 --> 00:27:20,458
That rocks!
522
00:27:22,875 --> 00:27:24,083
No! It doesn't rock!
523
00:27:24,250 --> 00:27:25,730
You keep slamming the table. I'm out.
524
00:27:25,833 --> 00:27:27,458
Wait! Stay right there!
525
00:27:27,542 --> 00:27:28,792
Take back your witchery!
526
00:27:28,792 --> 00:27:29,708
See you.
527
00:27:29,708 --> 00:27:31,292
You're screwing with my life.
528
00:27:31,917 --> 00:27:35,000
Not like you were doing
anything interesting with it.
529
00:27:36,250 --> 00:27:37,292
She's got a point.
530
00:27:38,625 --> 00:27:39,542
Whose side are you on?
531
00:27:39,542 --> 00:27:40,458
Yours.
532
00:27:40,458 --> 00:27:41,750
But she's got a point.
533
00:27:43,167 --> 00:27:46,333
If things get too tough,
and you need to talk,
534
00:27:46,333 --> 00:27:47,375
you know what to do.
535
00:27:47,375 --> 00:27:48,958
No I don't.
536
00:27:49,292 --> 00:27:50,875
How do I find you? You have a cell phone?
537
00:27:50,875 --> 00:27:51,625
Bye.
538
00:27:51,750 --> 00:27:53,458
Don't go!
539
00:27:53,458 --> 00:27:54,708
Hey!
540
00:27:59,542 --> 00:28:00,958
I'm going back to bed.
541
00:28:03,625 --> 00:28:04,833
Are you serious?!
542
00:28:05,125 --> 00:28:06,833
What? It's six in the morning.
543
00:28:07,375 --> 00:28:09,042
How is this not freaking you out?
544
00:28:10,375 --> 00:28:11,500
A magical woman
545
00:28:11,542 --> 00:28:12,875
was sitting over there
546
00:28:12,875 --> 00:28:14,125
granting my old wishes.
547
00:28:14,917 --> 00:28:16,500
That doesn't scare you?!
548
00:28:17,042 --> 00:28:18,792
I'm in the delivery business, dude.
549
00:28:18,792 --> 00:28:20,750
I've seen some pretty weird shit.
550
00:28:20,750 --> 00:28:22,208
Like this?!
551
00:28:22,917 --> 00:28:24,083
Not unlike this.
552
00:28:24,375 --> 00:28:25,583
My ass you have!
553
00:28:25,750 --> 00:28:26,750
Damn!
554
00:28:27,250 --> 00:28:29,167
You wanna see my diary?
555
00:28:29,208 --> 00:28:31,042
Fine, I'll show you.
556
00:28:31,042 --> 00:28:32,458
This is exactly
557
00:28:32,458 --> 00:28:34,458
why I can't talk to you about work.
558
00:28:36,208 --> 00:28:37,208
What the hell is this?
559
00:28:41,250 --> 00:28:42,643
I couldn't sleep after
I went to the kitchen.
560
00:28:42,667 --> 00:28:44,167
Watched a bit, why?
561
00:28:44,542 --> 00:28:46,542
Why is it my parents?!
562
00:28:47,833 --> 00:28:48,833
What?
563
00:28:49,083 --> 00:28:51,250
Thought you were OK with
me watching their movies.
564
00:28:51,250 --> 00:28:52,458
Their movies?!
565
00:28:52,833 --> 00:28:54,625
Since when are my parents porn stars?!
566
00:28:54,833 --> 00:28:57,708
I'd hardly call them porn stars.
567
00:28:57,708 --> 00:29:00,167
It's strictly educational material, man!
568
00:29:00,667 --> 00:29:02,917
Someone had to be in them.
569
00:29:03,083 --> 00:29:05,250
Plus, compared to what
you can find on-line,
570
00:29:05,250 --> 00:29:07,167
this is Teletubbies shit.
571
00:29:07,167 --> 00:29:08,167
Crap.
572
00:29:08,500 --> 00:29:10,375
I never wished my parents were porn --
573
00:29:14,250 --> 00:29:15,250
Oh, shit.
574
00:29:15,417 --> 00:29:16,417
What?
575
00:29:18,917 --> 00:29:20,833
Xu Ruijie!
576
00:29:22,333 --> 00:29:23,667
What about him?
577
00:29:24,375 --> 00:29:26,417
Oh, right...
578
00:29:27,500 --> 00:29:30,125
you mean because his parents
made sex-ed videos too.
579
00:29:31,417 --> 00:29:32,458
Pretty strange huh,
580
00:29:32,542 --> 00:29:34,125
two kids in the same class whose parents
581
00:29:34,125 --> 00:29:35,917
did it on camera for a living.
582
00:29:35,917 --> 00:29:39,000
My parents never did,
Xu Ruijie's parents did!
583
00:29:40,417 --> 00:29:42,042
When I was a kid,
584
00:29:42,167 --> 00:29:44,417
I always wished my parents
were more like his.
585
00:29:44,583 --> 00:29:47,250
They were fun, cool, loving...
586
00:29:47,542 --> 00:29:49,583
Hey yo, for the record,
587
00:29:49,917 --> 00:29:52,042
I was only watching it for science.
588
00:29:52,083 --> 00:29:53,375
Don't get the wrong idea.
589
00:29:55,125 --> 00:29:56,375
So, in your memory,
590
00:29:56,625 --> 00:29:58,292
my parents have always made these videos?
591
00:29:59,375 --> 00:30:00,375
Huh?
592
00:30:19,083 --> 00:30:20,625
You really have no memory of this?
593
00:30:22,333 --> 00:30:24,375
In my memory they sell insurance.
594
00:30:24,917 --> 00:30:25,917
Relax.
595
00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:28,000
Your parents are like a hundred years old.
596
00:30:28,083 --> 00:30:29,803
I'm sure they haven't
made a video in years.
597
00:30:30,750 --> 00:30:32,458
What the -- someone filming something?
598
00:30:45,042 --> 00:30:47,083
A passionate tryst in the kitchen
599
00:30:47,083 --> 00:30:48,750
can really get things cooking.
600
00:30:49,500 --> 00:30:51,500
Let's see this older couple
601
00:30:51,542 --> 00:30:53,542
and this new position they're in.
602
00:30:54,042 --> 00:30:55,042
Wait. Stop.
603
00:30:55,250 --> 00:30:56,125
Sorry, director.
604
00:30:56,125 --> 00:30:57,417
What's that smell?
605
00:30:57,958 --> 00:30:59,333
Don't worry, it's not you.
606
00:30:59,333 --> 00:31:00,333
You're fabulous.
607
00:31:00,625 --> 00:31:03,208
People, we've got a smell.
608
00:31:05,667 --> 00:31:07,583
Someone take care of it.
609
00:31:07,875 --> 00:31:10,083
Well, look what the cat dragged in.
610
00:31:10,125 --> 00:31:11,476
Who is it? I don't have my glasses.
611
00:31:11,500 --> 00:31:12,250
Your son.
612
00:31:12,417 --> 00:31:13,875
What the hell are you guys doing?
613
00:31:14,042 --> 00:31:17,000
Fendou, you still don't get it?
614
00:31:17,000 --> 00:31:18,958
We‘re helping society.
615
00:31:18,958 --> 00:31:20,833
What's that gotta do with it?
616
00:31:20,875 --> 00:31:22,250
Hey, Fendou,
617
00:31:22,250 --> 00:31:25,167
your parents help elderly couples.
618
00:31:25,250 --> 00:31:27,042
Forget it, he's never going to understand.
619
00:31:27,083 --> 00:31:28,542
Who watches this crap anyway?
620
00:31:28,792 --> 00:31:31,833
Hey! We sell big in
southeast Asian markets.
621
00:31:33,458 --> 00:31:34,458
Hey,
622
00:31:34,833 --> 00:31:35,833
director,
623
00:31:35,875 --> 00:31:37,708
can I have a word with you?
624
00:31:38,042 --> 00:31:39,833
Okay, let's get ready for the next shot.
625
00:31:40,125 --> 00:31:41,792
Be ready for the next position in 5.
626
00:31:42,333 --> 00:31:43,458
Everybody take a break.
627
00:31:43,500 --> 00:31:44,625
You're pressing too hard!
628
00:31:44,625 --> 00:31:47,125
- Take a break.
- I could barely breathe.
629
00:31:49,583 --> 00:31:50,958
Know why I wished my parents
630
00:31:50,958 --> 00:31:52,625
were more like Xu Ruijie's parents?
631
00:31:53,208 --> 00:31:56,083
Because his parents were nice to him.
632
00:31:56,292 --> 00:31:57,292
But look,
633
00:31:57,417 --> 00:31:58,417
my parents treat me
634
00:31:58,417 --> 00:32:00,083
exactly the same as before,
635
00:32:00,542 --> 00:32:02,000
except now they're porn actors!
636
00:32:02,000 --> 00:32:04,500
Which makes them more
like Xu Ruijie's parents.
637
00:32:04,750 --> 00:32:06,500
Another wish granted.
638
00:32:12,167 --> 00:32:13,208
You traitor!
639
00:32:19,083 --> 00:32:21,000
You think that was a little harsh?
640
00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:22,958
It's called tough love, Li Fei.
641
00:32:23,500 --> 00:32:24,667
And sometimes
642
00:32:24,667 --> 00:32:26,542
it's the only love people respond to.
643
00:32:28,125 --> 00:32:29,667
I have problems too, you know.
644
00:32:29,708 --> 00:32:31,000
I'm not omnipotent.
645
00:32:31,417 --> 00:32:34,042
I still carry my husband's
protection talisman.
646
00:32:35,000 --> 00:32:36,600
If I'm stuck, I'm forced to call on him.
647
00:32:37,500 --> 00:32:38,500
I'm fully aware,
648
00:32:39,208 --> 00:32:41,250
of the people burning
incense at the temple,
649
00:32:41,875 --> 00:32:43,792
very few ever burn any for me.
650
00:32:44,958 --> 00:32:46,250
Typical sexism.
651
00:32:46,750 --> 00:32:48,917
They think Earth Gods have stronger powers.
652
00:32:49,167 --> 00:32:51,083
Fine, but don't bitch behind my back.
653
00:32:51,125 --> 00:32:54,458
An Earth God
shares goodies with mortals,
654
00:32:54,875 --> 00:32:57,792
but Earth Goddess doesn't like
sharing, and denies things.
655
00:32:57,958 --> 00:32:59,625
Since when did I not share?
656
00:33:00,917 --> 00:33:01,917
Even the apples offered me
657
00:33:01,917 --> 00:33:03,542
at shrines, have worms.
658
00:33:05,083 --> 00:33:06,184
Let me ask you this, Li Fei.
659
00:33:06,208 --> 00:33:08,458
If some kid wants to pig
out on a hundred candy bars,
660
00:33:08,500 --> 00:33:09,875
am I supposed to just grant it?
661
00:33:10,000 --> 00:33:11,750
If I did, wouldn't I be hurting the child?
662
00:33:11,875 --> 00:33:12,917
Am I right?
663
00:33:15,250 --> 00:33:16,250
Hey,
664
00:33:16,792 --> 00:33:18,292
so can I be in the next scene?
665
00:34:20,583 --> 00:34:22,958
"Shanshan"
666
00:35:02,833 --> 00:35:03,833
Fendou.
667
00:35:06,667 --> 00:35:08,042
What are you...?
668
00:35:10,750 --> 00:35:13,625
I just... some stuff you left.
669
00:35:15,625 --> 00:35:17,083
I wasn't sure if I should...
670
00:35:17,208 --> 00:35:18,208
Oh.
671
00:35:19,792 --> 00:35:20,792
Thanks.
672
00:35:25,708 --> 00:35:27,792
Glad to see you.
673
00:35:34,250 --> 00:35:35,250
Wow!
674
00:35:35,458 --> 00:35:36,458
I know.
675
00:35:37,208 --> 00:35:38,333
Are you okay?
676
00:35:40,042 --> 00:35:41,958
Yeah... Actually, no.
677
00:35:44,292 --> 00:35:45,500
Look, can we talk?
678
00:35:46,458 --> 00:35:47,778
Some place ventilated, obviously.
679
00:35:47,833 --> 00:35:48,833
Okay.
680
00:35:53,333 --> 00:35:54,458
I'm really sorry.
681
00:35:54,750 --> 00:35:57,250
You're probably swamped with wedding stuff.
682
00:35:57,583 --> 00:35:58,875
No, it's on autopilot.
683
00:35:59,708 --> 00:36:01,000
Of course we're swamped!
684
00:36:01,458 --> 00:36:03,583
My parents are going crazy planning things.
685
00:36:04,958 --> 00:36:05,958
Are you okay?
686
00:36:08,667 --> 00:36:11,250
If I tell you about this,
687
00:36:12,083 --> 00:36:13,375
you'll think I'm crazy.
688
00:36:14,542 --> 00:36:16,125
I've always thought you're crazy.
689
00:36:16,958 --> 00:36:18,000
Well, half-crazy at least.
690
00:36:18,250 --> 00:36:20,208
Really? When?
691
00:36:21,000 --> 00:36:22,167
You don't remember?
692
00:36:23,875 --> 00:36:25,268
Remember how convinced you were that
693
00:36:25,292 --> 00:36:27,875
you could blow a wad
of paper from your nose
694
00:36:27,875 --> 00:36:29,395
further than anyone else in the world?
695
00:36:30,167 --> 00:36:31,667
Was that me?
696
00:36:32,000 --> 00:36:33,250
I have no recollection.
697
00:36:33,333 --> 00:36:35,750
You even mailed Guinness World Records!
698
00:36:36,125 --> 00:36:37,125
Or what about the time
699
00:36:37,375 --> 00:36:38,458
you and Li Fei competed
700
00:36:38,792 --> 00:36:40,167
to see who could recite
701
00:36:40,208 --> 00:36:43,167
more classic Stephen Chow
movie lines in one breath?
702
00:36:43,333 --> 00:36:44,958
That's nothing.
703
00:36:45,333 --> 00:36:48,250
You were rushed to the hospital
because you passed out!
704
00:36:48,708 --> 00:36:50,083
You stubborn idiot.
705
00:36:51,167 --> 00:36:52,167
Or that one time...
706
00:36:52,917 --> 00:36:54,125
you insisted Fragrance Hill was the place
707
00:36:54,125 --> 00:36:55,833
to see moonset and sunrise at once.
708
00:36:56,167 --> 00:36:58,167
We waited there all night
709
00:36:59,458 --> 00:37:01,833
but at dawn we saw
nothing, it was overcast.
710
00:37:03,042 --> 00:37:04,583
Instead, I caught a terrible cold,
711
00:37:04,583 --> 00:37:06,417
and ended up in hospital for days.
712
00:37:06,833 --> 00:37:09,042
Yeah, that definitely
713
00:37:09,958 --> 00:37:11,500
wasn't meant to be.
714
00:37:13,000 --> 00:37:14,667
You really have a good memory.
715
00:37:15,042 --> 00:37:16,375
What else was there?
716
00:37:17,333 --> 00:37:18,500
How would I know?
717
00:37:18,583 --> 00:37:19,833
You broke up with me.
718
00:37:20,333 --> 00:37:21,458
You remember that, right?
719
00:37:30,708 --> 00:37:32,333
But, hey, when I called you before,
720
00:37:32,750 --> 00:37:33,958
things sounded pretty good.
721
00:37:34,708 --> 00:37:35,708
Shanshan,
722
00:37:36,417 --> 00:37:37,417
I have to tell you.
723
00:37:40,208 --> 00:37:41,708
Wishes I made in the past
724
00:37:42,333 --> 00:37:43,625
are coming true.
725
00:37:44,500 --> 00:37:45,792
What do you mean?
726
00:37:46,250 --> 00:37:48,375
This asshole Earth Goddess
came out of nowhere,
727
00:37:48,875 --> 00:37:51,417
and is granting random wishes I made.
728
00:37:52,500 --> 00:37:54,000
I know you won't believe me.
729
00:37:54,708 --> 00:37:56,083
Nobody in their right mind
730
00:37:56,083 --> 00:37:57,292
would believe me.
731
00:37:57,583 --> 00:37:58,583
Pretty much.
732
00:37:59,625 --> 00:38:01,333
Let's go find a faucet.
733
00:38:01,333 --> 00:38:02,333
I'll prove it to you.
734
00:38:12,500 --> 00:38:13,958
What're you doing in my seat?
735
00:38:15,083 --> 00:38:16,083
It's cool.
736
00:38:16,542 --> 00:38:17,917
I'm the Earth Goddess around here.
737
00:38:27,125 --> 00:38:28,583
There's no faucet anywhere.
738
00:38:29,125 --> 00:38:30,208
Honestly.
739
00:38:32,542 --> 00:38:33,542
How about...
740
00:38:33,583 --> 00:38:34,583
Your...
741
00:38:34,583 --> 00:38:35,583
What?
742
00:38:36,417 --> 00:38:37,417
What?
743
00:38:38,417 --> 00:38:39,417
Careful!
744
00:38:39,708 --> 00:38:40,708
What?
745
00:38:40,917 --> 00:38:42,000
Shanshan, wait!
746
00:38:45,500 --> 00:38:47,250
What's wrong?
747
00:38:57,667 --> 00:38:59,333
Are you alright?
748
00:39:00,083 --> 00:39:01,625
What the hell is wrong?
749
00:39:04,292 --> 00:39:05,875
I just saw your hair --
750
00:39:06,583 --> 00:39:07,875
Long hair...
751
00:39:08,000 --> 00:39:10,333
just grow out of your head!
752
00:39:14,375 --> 00:39:15,500
There it goes again.
753
00:39:16,292 --> 00:39:17,667
How is that possible?!
754
00:39:18,458 --> 00:39:19,792
Goddamn F4.
755
00:39:21,333 --> 00:39:23,042
Remember F4's Jerry Yan had this style
756
00:39:23,042 --> 00:39:24,292
on early episodes of that show?
757
00:39:25,250 --> 00:39:27,333
All the girls were crazy about him,
758
00:39:27,958 --> 00:39:28,958
so I wanted his hair,
759
00:39:29,958 --> 00:39:31,198
but the school didn't allow it.
760
00:39:32,292 --> 00:39:34,000
OK fine. I admit it.
761
00:39:34,458 --> 00:39:36,792
I secretly watched Meteor Garden,
762
00:39:38,708 --> 00:39:39,833
and I liked it.
763
00:39:40,042 --> 00:39:42,333
This is incredible.
764
00:39:42,708 --> 00:39:44,500
You finally believe me.
765
00:39:45,417 --> 00:39:47,208
You ran like I was a ghost or something.
766
00:39:47,292 --> 00:39:49,917
You know how scary that was?
767
00:39:51,833 --> 00:39:53,500
Can I touch it?
768
00:40:05,625 --> 00:40:07,375
You're still missing his hair band.
769
00:40:10,833 --> 00:40:11,833
I got it.
770
00:40:15,083 --> 00:40:17,458
At least your new hair smells nice.
771
00:40:18,125 --> 00:40:20,208
Sort of takes the focus
off the rest of you.
772
00:40:20,750 --> 00:40:23,250
Jerry must've used a lot of hair products.
773
00:40:24,625 --> 00:40:26,042
You know what I think?
774
00:40:26,625 --> 00:40:28,542
This might not be so bad.
775
00:40:29,000 --> 00:40:30,000
Why?
776
00:40:30,208 --> 00:40:31,750
Well, up until now,
777
00:40:31,958 --> 00:40:33,292
have any of your wishes
778
00:40:33,583 --> 00:40:36,708
really caused problems for you?
779
00:40:42,792 --> 00:40:43,542
Look,
780
00:40:43,708 --> 00:40:46,417
there are tons of people in
the world who never bathe.
781
00:40:46,417 --> 00:40:48,167
They are still fine, aren't they?
782
00:40:50,167 --> 00:40:52,000
And you said you can't sleep, right?
783
00:40:52,000 --> 00:40:53,333
And you'll never need sleep?
784
00:40:53,417 --> 00:40:54,417
Yeah.
785
00:40:54,500 --> 00:40:55,500
Are you tired?
786
00:40:58,125 --> 00:41:00,167
Nothing out of the ordinary.
787
00:41:01,125 --> 00:41:02,250
How cool is that!
788
00:41:02,500 --> 00:41:03,667
You can get
789
00:41:03,750 --> 00:41:06,500
much more done in a day than others.
790
00:41:08,792 --> 00:41:09,875
I guess so.
791
00:41:13,083 --> 00:41:15,708
Also, I always felt pressured
792
00:41:15,958 --> 00:41:17,292
by time.
793
00:41:18,333 --> 00:41:21,583
Guess I won't be needing this from now on.
794
00:41:21,875 --> 00:41:23,083
For you. Souvenir.
795
00:41:25,792 --> 00:41:27,875
Plus, if I got this right,
796
00:41:27,958 --> 00:41:30,042
your wishes are in chronological order.
797
00:41:30,833 --> 00:41:32,333
Think so.
798
00:41:32,333 --> 00:41:34,333
Maybe those coming up
won't be so ridiculous.
799
00:41:34,500 --> 00:41:35,500
I have no idea.
800
00:41:35,708 --> 00:41:37,417
She picks the wishes, not me.
801
00:41:38,208 --> 00:41:40,000
When I was a kid I wished
I was an astronaut,
802
00:41:40,250 --> 00:41:42,583
and a superhero who saved the world
803
00:41:42,917 --> 00:41:44,083
and brought peace to Earth.
804
00:41:44,083 --> 00:41:45,750
Why didn't she make those come true?
805
00:41:46,458 --> 00:41:48,125
Instead of these random ones.
806
00:41:48,958 --> 00:41:52,833
Your wish timeline is about
to hit puberty, right?
807
00:41:56,417 --> 00:41:57,625
That could be fun.
808
00:42:02,667 --> 00:42:04,792
I gotta go. Wedding stuff.
809
00:42:05,250 --> 00:42:06,792
Right.
810
00:42:08,708 --> 00:42:10,792
I'm stuffed. Thanks.
811
00:42:11,667 --> 00:42:14,042
Thank you. Really.
812
00:42:14,833 --> 00:42:17,167
Thank you for letting me talk this out.
813
00:42:19,125 --> 00:42:21,833
I miss that about you,
814
00:42:22,750 --> 00:42:24,917
you always saw the bright side of things.
815
00:42:32,625 --> 00:42:33,625
What?
816
00:42:35,625 --> 00:42:36,625
Nothing,
817
00:42:36,792 --> 00:42:37,542
it's just...
818
00:42:37,667 --> 00:42:40,708
some friends are gonna
party at Sir Teen tonight,
819
00:42:40,958 --> 00:42:41,958
to celebrate,
820
00:42:42,292 --> 00:42:44,583
and I was thinking, if you're not busy,
821
00:42:44,583 --> 00:42:45,663
maybe you'd like to come...
822
00:42:46,958 --> 00:42:48,958
Haven't been to a club in ages.
823
00:42:49,125 --> 00:42:50,625
Sure.
824
00:42:51,125 --> 00:42:53,542
Assuming she doesn't make
me a monkey or something.
825
00:42:54,000 --> 00:42:55,292
Come anyway.
826
00:42:55,958 --> 00:42:57,083
I like monkeys.
827
00:42:59,125 --> 00:43:00,542
Okay, bye.
828
00:43:04,333 --> 00:43:05,333
Later.
829
00:43:18,292 --> 00:43:19,292
How much?
830
00:43:19,458 --> 00:43:20,458
It's on the check.
831
00:43:21,042 --> 00:43:23,417
Yeah, I know, but...
832
00:43:24,292 --> 00:43:25,292
Forget it,
833
00:43:25,750 --> 00:43:26,750
just swipe it.
834
00:43:39,208 --> 00:43:40,208
Ma Fendou?
835
00:43:41,208 --> 00:43:42,208
Miss Chen?
836
00:43:44,875 --> 00:43:46,500
How long has it been?
837
00:43:48,667 --> 00:43:51,375
I haven't seen you since your junior year.
838
00:43:52,250 --> 00:43:54,875
Actually, I saw you at Career Day.
839
00:43:54,875 --> 00:43:55,917
I was there.
840
00:43:57,000 --> 00:43:59,458
You haven't changed at all!
841
00:43:59,500 --> 00:44:01,667
Well you've changed, big time.
842
00:44:03,875 --> 00:44:05,583
Why didn't you say hi?
843
00:44:06,375 --> 00:44:08,000
I didn't think you'd remember me.
844
00:44:08,292 --> 00:44:09,750
Not remember you?
845
00:44:09,750 --> 00:44:11,083
You were my best student.
846
00:44:12,833 --> 00:44:15,000
But you always flunked me.
847
00:44:15,125 --> 00:44:16,125
Flunked you?
848
00:44:16,375 --> 00:44:18,750
Yeah, you said I was retarded.
849
00:44:18,917 --> 00:44:20,458
I don't remember that.
850
00:44:20,500 --> 00:44:21,667
Not at all.
851
00:44:23,500 --> 00:44:24,500
Wow!
852
00:44:24,750 --> 00:44:26,542
That hairstyle is so hot.
853
00:44:27,125 --> 00:44:28,167
I love it!
854
00:44:29,375 --> 00:44:30,375
Miss Chen...
855
00:44:31,250 --> 00:44:32,333
You here alone?
856
00:44:32,500 --> 00:44:34,375
No. I mean, yeah, I am now.
857
00:44:36,000 --> 00:44:38,458
There was a girl here.
858
00:44:38,500 --> 00:44:39,125
Girlfriend?
859
00:44:39,458 --> 00:44:40,458
My ex.
860
00:44:41,417 --> 00:44:42,792
She's getting married.
861
00:44:45,292 --> 00:44:46,458
Oh, poor baby.
862
00:44:47,125 --> 00:44:48,458
That must be so hard for you.
863
00:44:51,917 --> 00:44:53,083
It must be...
864
00:44:54,583 --> 00:44:56,792
So very very hard.
865
00:44:59,417 --> 00:45:00,958
Now that you've gotten bigger,
866
00:45:04,208 --> 00:45:06,375
what say we go back to my place,
867
00:45:06,417 --> 00:45:09,583
and I teach you all you
really wanted to learn.
868
00:45:23,375 --> 00:45:24,375
Li Fei?
869
00:45:25,167 --> 00:45:26,167
You're back.
870
00:45:26,667 --> 00:45:27,833
Not just back.
871
00:45:27,958 --> 00:45:29,583
I'm a new man.
872
00:45:31,792 --> 00:45:32,792
Woah, new hairdo.
873
00:45:35,083 --> 00:45:36,083
Bro,
874
00:45:37,000 --> 00:45:38,458
you won't believe what I just got.
875
00:45:38,792 --> 00:45:40,333
I'm pretty sure you got a new hairdo.
876
00:45:40,333 --> 00:45:41,958
Very retro.
877
00:45:42,833 --> 00:45:45,125
Yes, it's Miss Chen.
878
00:45:46,125 --> 00:45:47,125
Oh my god!
879
00:45:47,375 --> 00:45:49,583
She's only wearing underwear?
880
00:45:49,583 --> 00:45:50,583
I know.
881
00:45:52,500 --> 00:45:54,250
Is that chalk?
882
00:45:54,333 --> 00:45:55,333
Yup.
883
00:45:56,083 --> 00:45:57,083
Holy crap.
884
00:45:57,333 --> 00:45:57,875
No, no!
885
00:45:58,208 --> 00:45:59,500
Where'd you get this?
886
00:46:00,333 --> 00:46:01,750
She gave it to me.
887
00:46:02,750 --> 00:46:03,583
She wants me, dude.
888
00:46:03,583 --> 00:46:04,583
She what?!
889
00:46:05,500 --> 00:46:06,500
Wait a minute.
890
00:46:06,667 --> 00:46:09,125
You said, "she wants."
891
00:46:09,375 --> 00:46:11,333
Meaning you didn't do anything?
892
00:46:13,583 --> 00:46:14,583
Uh, no.
893
00:46:17,583 --> 00:46:19,375
May I inquire as to why not?
894
00:46:21,208 --> 00:46:23,208
Well, I still can if I want.
895
00:46:23,292 --> 00:46:25,042
I mean, her number's on the back.
896
00:46:25,458 --> 00:46:26,208
Of course,
897
00:46:26,333 --> 00:46:28,000
you'll need to dial it for me.
898
00:46:28,333 --> 00:46:31,250
You didn't answer my question, Ma Fendou.
899
00:46:31,792 --> 00:46:35,417
Why'd you reject alluring,
immensely doable Miss Chen?
900
00:46:37,042 --> 00:46:39,625
I just had brunch with Shanshan,
901
00:46:39,792 --> 00:46:42,375
I felt it would've been too...
902
00:46:43,125 --> 00:46:44,292
Too what, man!
903
00:46:45,042 --> 00:46:47,250
Shanshan's getting married tomorrow!
904
00:46:47,375 --> 00:46:48,958
To another guy!
905
00:46:48,958 --> 00:46:49,958
OK?!
906
00:46:50,417 --> 00:46:52,750
Know what I'd give just to be close to her?
907
00:46:52,792 --> 00:46:53,875
Just for a moment.
908
00:46:53,875 --> 00:46:55,250
You know what I'd give?
909
00:46:55,625 --> 00:46:56,667
Even just one minute.
910
00:46:59,333 --> 00:47:00,708
My iPod, Ma Fendou!
911
00:47:01,000 --> 00:47:02,000
I'd give up my iPod!
912
00:47:02,000 --> 00:47:02,917
I would give it up!
913
00:47:02,917 --> 00:47:03,750
I know, I know,
914
00:47:03,750 --> 00:47:06,125
you really love that shitty old iPod.
915
00:47:06,125 --> 00:47:07,833
Plus, now you've got this cool new haircut.
916
00:47:07,833 --> 00:47:08,833
Friggin A...
917
00:47:09,208 --> 00:47:10,208
I swear.
918
00:47:12,250 --> 00:47:13,250
Hey, get back here
919
00:47:13,458 --> 00:47:14,542
so I can yell at you more!
920
00:47:16,833 --> 00:47:17,833
What the --!
921
00:47:22,458 --> 00:47:25,625
Every teenage boy's dream bedroom.
922
00:47:56,958 --> 00:47:58,042
Thanks so much!
923
00:47:59,833 --> 00:48:00,833
Hey Li,
924
00:48:01,250 --> 00:48:03,250
you might want to check out your
room, Li Fei.
925
00:48:03,542 --> 00:48:04,583
You did mine too?
926
00:48:04,875 --> 00:48:06,125
No trouble at all.
927
00:48:10,917 --> 00:48:12,000
What the?
928
00:48:12,458 --> 00:48:14,125
What the hell is this?!
929
00:48:14,292 --> 00:48:16,833
I had to make space for his room.
930
00:48:17,792 --> 00:48:18,792
Hey man,
931
00:48:19,333 --> 00:48:21,167
we can share my room.
932
00:48:21,333 --> 00:48:22,750
Right, you don't need sleep.
933
00:48:25,333 --> 00:48:26,042
Furong!
934
00:48:26,042 --> 00:48:27,250
My dear Furong!
935
00:48:27,250 --> 00:48:28,750
I thought we were BFF's!
936
00:48:30,500 --> 00:48:31,500
You did?
937
00:48:32,333 --> 00:48:33,375
I didn't get that at all.
938
00:48:34,042 --> 00:48:36,625
We were laughing and high-fiving...
939
00:48:36,833 --> 00:48:38,167
You even gave me a role,
940
00:48:38,167 --> 00:48:40,208
you let me oil up his mom. Remember?
941
00:48:40,250 --> 00:48:40,750
What?
942
00:48:40,750 --> 00:48:41,833
You did what with my mom?
943
00:48:41,833 --> 00:48:44,583
Whatevs! Let's shoot hoops
before your big game.
944
00:48:45,250 --> 00:48:46,250
What game?
945
00:48:47,083 --> 00:48:48,958
Your inter-department finals.
946
00:48:49,958 --> 00:48:51,208
I still sell insurance?
947
00:48:51,500 --> 00:48:52,667
Yeah. I don't get it either.
948
00:48:53,208 --> 00:48:54,208
Wait,
949
00:48:54,625 --> 00:48:57,208
since my parents are sex-ed actors,
950
00:48:57,750 --> 00:48:58,893
why am I still selling insurance?
951
00:48:58,917 --> 00:48:59,583
Tell him.
952
00:48:59,750 --> 00:49:00,917
Because you're an idiot.
953
00:49:01,250 --> 00:49:03,125
You should be following
your parents' footsteps,
954
00:49:03,125 --> 00:49:04,792
right into Miss Chen's room.
955
00:49:08,250 --> 00:49:10,125
I always thought I went into insurance
956
00:49:10,125 --> 00:49:11,542
because my parents forced me to.
957
00:49:11,875 --> 00:49:13,792
You sort of fell into it.
958
00:49:13,917 --> 00:49:16,167
And then slumped into the routine.
959
00:49:16,583 --> 00:49:17,708
Wait,
960
00:49:17,792 --> 00:49:19,292
so who do I work for?
961
00:49:19,708 --> 00:49:21,083
Who manages our group?
962
00:49:21,083 --> 00:49:22,208
Taozi, man.
963
00:49:22,750 --> 00:49:24,208
I work for that douche?!
964
00:49:24,375 --> 00:49:25,750
Don't look at me. Wasn't me.
965
00:49:26,792 --> 00:49:28,375
The kid's a talented businessman.
966
00:50:20,333 --> 00:50:23,042
You wished you could play like Jordan?
967
00:50:23,375 --> 00:50:24,750
Like Mike, baby.
968
00:50:29,458 --> 00:50:30,458
Why are they here?
969
00:50:31,000 --> 00:50:32,000
Tell him.
970
00:50:33,667 --> 00:50:36,250
What am I? I ain't your bitch.
971
00:50:36,458 --> 00:50:38,375
You don't want to piss me off, kid!
972
00:50:38,375 --> 00:50:39,500
The consequences are grave.
973
00:50:39,500 --> 00:50:40,500
Talk!
974
00:50:41,042 --> 00:50:42,042
Your parents,
975
00:50:42,167 --> 00:50:44,208
they bought insurance from Taozi
976
00:50:44,208 --> 00:50:45,125
and became close,
977
00:50:45,125 --> 00:50:47,083
so thus, the obvious.
978
00:50:55,000 --> 00:50:57,042
What the hell's growing on your head?
979
00:50:57,875 --> 00:51:00,292
That hairdo takes real courage.
980
00:51:00,792 --> 00:51:02,250
You cosplaying?
981
00:51:03,083 --> 00:51:04,500
Sorry, fellas,
982
00:51:04,583 --> 00:51:05,750
but it looks like
983
00:51:06,083 --> 00:51:07,083
we're short a man.
984
00:51:07,875 --> 00:51:08,958
Why don't I switch teams?
985
00:51:09,833 --> 00:51:11,042
You aiding the enemy?
986
00:51:11,042 --> 00:51:12,833
I was gonna just bench warm anyway.
987
00:51:13,375 --> 00:51:15,250
You guys don't have to pass to me.
988
00:51:15,667 --> 00:51:17,583
Yes or no? Up to you guys.
989
00:51:18,333 --> 00:51:20,292
Alright, fine with me.
990
00:51:20,292 --> 00:51:21,292
Me too.
991
00:51:21,750 --> 00:51:23,000
He sucks though.
992
00:51:23,000 --> 00:51:24,500
Yeah, total noob.
993
00:51:25,375 --> 00:51:26,875
I'll get an extra jersey.
994
00:51:26,875 --> 00:51:27,542
Cool.
995
00:51:27,542 --> 00:51:28,250
Shoot more.
996
00:51:28,250 --> 00:51:29,250
Sure, I'll try.
997
00:51:30,042 --> 00:51:31,125
Good luck!
998
00:51:31,333 --> 00:51:33,042
We got this!
999
00:51:33,875 --> 00:51:34,875
Got a plastic bag?
1000
00:51:35,000 --> 00:51:35,625
No.
1001
00:51:35,667 --> 00:51:37,458
I gotta pee. Let me know who wins.
1002
00:51:37,958 --> 00:51:39,000
Gee, I wonder.
1003
00:51:53,583 --> 00:51:54,292
Here.
1004
00:51:54,583 --> 00:51:55,583
Shoot!
1005
00:51:57,583 --> 00:51:59,083
Here! Go!
1006
00:51:59,542 --> 00:52:00,625
Here! Pass it!
1007
00:52:04,875 --> 00:52:05,958
Come on.
1008
00:52:08,833 --> 00:52:09,833
That's in.
1009
00:52:43,500 --> 00:52:45,375
That's my boy!
1010
00:53:21,000 --> 00:53:23,292
That's my son! He's my son!
1011
00:53:23,500 --> 00:53:24,750
Beat their ass!
1012
00:53:25,208 --> 00:53:26,000
You-you --
1013
00:53:26,000 --> 00:53:27,792
You are so awesome!
1014
00:53:29,000 --> 00:53:29,792
Wh-when --
1015
00:53:29,792 --> 00:53:30,833
When did you get so good?
1016
00:53:30,833 --> 00:53:31,833
Amazing!
1017
00:53:32,375 --> 00:53:33,250
You could play in the NBA!
1018
00:53:33,250 --> 00:53:35,625
LeBron ain't got shit on you. Seriously!
1019
00:53:35,667 --> 00:53:36,667
It was okay.
1020
00:53:37,042 --> 00:53:38,417
Thanks for the love.
1021
00:53:39,417 --> 00:53:40,500
I'm just a beginner.
1022
00:53:40,625 --> 00:53:41,625
You are great.
1023
00:53:48,917 --> 00:53:51,417
Hey, earlier, I didn't mean to stare.
1024
00:53:52,167 --> 00:53:54,458
It's just,
I’d never seen one that big before.
1025
00:53:57,500 --> 00:53:58,500
It's all good, Lin.
1026
00:53:58,958 --> 00:53:59,958
Nor have I.
1027
00:54:00,875 --> 00:54:02,035
First time I'm seeing it too.
1028
00:54:04,292 --> 00:54:05,458
Really? That too?
1029
00:54:06,833 --> 00:54:07,833
Laters.
1030
00:54:11,000 --> 00:54:12,500
Next time I'll do a 360 dunk.
1031
00:54:14,458 --> 00:54:16,000
It just keeps getting better.
1032
00:54:16,917 --> 00:54:18,417
Shanshan was right.
1033
00:54:23,458 --> 00:54:24,458
What's wrong buddy?
1034
00:54:25,042 --> 00:54:26,042
You okay?
1035
00:54:27,542 --> 00:54:29,125
Is it because of your bedroom?
1036
00:54:29,708 --> 00:54:31,458
I'll tell Furong next time I see her.
1037
00:54:32,167 --> 00:54:33,583
Just sleep in my room.
1038
00:54:33,708 --> 00:54:35,125
I don't need sleep anyway.
1039
00:54:36,208 --> 00:54:37,208
Really.
1040
00:54:38,750 --> 00:54:40,542
No, that's okay. I need to get back.
1041
00:54:40,875 --> 00:54:42,075
Going out with Kai Li tonight.
1042
00:54:47,792 --> 00:54:48,792
Okay.
1043
00:55:09,542 --> 00:55:11,102
Thought you were going out with Kai Li.
1044
00:55:13,250 --> 00:55:14,875
Yeah, we decided to break up instead.
1045
00:55:16,917 --> 00:55:17,917
What?
1046
00:55:18,125 --> 00:55:19,125
Why?
1047
00:55:22,250 --> 00:55:23,583
Li Fei.
1048
00:55:29,667 --> 00:55:30,292
Furong!
1049
00:55:30,292 --> 00:55:31,167
Sup!
1050
00:55:31,292 --> 00:55:32,542
I shouldn't have doubted you.
1051
00:55:32,542 --> 00:55:33,667
You truly are awesome!
1052
00:55:33,833 --> 00:55:34,833
That's for sure.
1053
00:55:37,917 --> 00:55:40,292
Wanted to ask you something...
1054
00:55:43,625 --> 00:55:45,667
Could you grant Li Fei a few wishes?
1055
00:55:46,375 --> 00:55:47,417
He's feeling pretty down.
1056
00:55:48,167 --> 00:55:50,042
I can, but I won't.
1057
00:55:58,625 --> 00:55:59,625
Hey,
1058
00:56:00,625 --> 00:56:02,250
if I showed you a phone number,
1059
00:56:02,958 --> 00:56:04,208
would you mind dialing it?
1060
00:56:07,292 --> 00:56:08,875
You going to see Miss Chen?
1061
00:56:08,875 --> 00:56:10,000
Or Shanshan?
1062
00:56:10,958 --> 00:56:13,458
Oh, that's right. I said I'd stop by.
1063
00:56:13,625 --> 00:56:15,083
Unless you became a monkey.
1064
00:56:16,375 --> 00:56:18,333
No no, we do not want that. Seriously.
1065
00:56:30,833 --> 00:56:31,958
That one year,
1066
00:56:31,958 --> 00:56:33,167
you didn't like your clothes,
1067
00:56:33,167 --> 00:56:34,833
you wished you could
have whatever you wanted
1068
00:56:34,833 --> 00:56:35,958
for your graduation party...
1069
00:56:35,958 --> 00:56:38,042
Well, now you can.
1070
00:56:52,333 --> 00:56:53,708
Have you seen my keys?
1071
00:57:02,083 --> 00:57:03,083
Let's go.
1072
00:57:04,542 --> 00:57:05,750
Don't mope at home,
1073
00:57:06,375 --> 00:57:08,458
let's go out and hang.
1074
00:57:11,917 --> 00:57:12,917
I just want to sleep.
1075
00:57:28,708 --> 00:57:29,917
No way!
1076
00:57:31,792 --> 00:57:33,958
You are a master of your craft!
1077
00:57:34,625 --> 00:57:35,750
Go have fun.
1078
00:57:35,833 --> 00:57:37,417
I'm gonna try on some of your clothes.
1079
00:57:47,417 --> 00:57:48,958
Why do you hate me?
1080
00:57:49,875 --> 00:57:51,333
Who said I hate you?
1081
00:57:51,958 --> 00:57:53,417
You have a better grip on life than others.
1082
00:57:53,417 --> 00:57:54,500
You don't need coddling.
1083
00:57:54,667 --> 00:57:58,042
Yes I do! I need coddling!
1084
00:57:58,333 --> 00:58:02,042
I'm just a fragile boy!
1085
00:58:04,958 --> 00:58:06,958
Oh shit! Yeah!
1086
00:58:07,208 --> 00:58:08,667
I've become a hunk!
1087
00:58:09,042 --> 00:58:11,208
I always knew I looked like Daniel Wu!
1088
00:58:12,042 --> 00:58:13,667
Whoa! Six-pack!
1089
00:58:14,208 --> 00:58:15,833
Big guns!
1090
00:58:19,083 --> 00:58:20,083
Friggin hot!
1091
00:58:20,542 --> 00:58:21,625
Thanks Furong!
1092
00:58:23,417 --> 00:58:24,708
But why?!
1093
00:58:25,083 --> 00:58:26,500
You want a body like his?
1094
00:58:26,625 --> 00:58:28,333
Go hit the gym like him, fat-ass!
1095
00:58:28,667 --> 00:58:30,083
"Because you're worth it."
1096
00:58:59,250 --> 00:59:00,250
Who is this guy?
1097
00:59:01,458 --> 00:59:02,750
Keep showing off!
1098
00:59:03,458 --> 00:59:05,500
You don't think I had wishes, Ma Fendou?
1099
00:59:07,042 --> 00:59:08,375
Want a Lamborghini?
1100
00:59:09,958 --> 00:59:11,042
Happy to give you one.
1101
00:59:11,500 --> 00:59:13,042
What? Don't you know me?
1102
00:59:13,167 --> 00:59:15,208
You know I don't drive Japanese cars!
1103
00:59:15,750 --> 00:59:16,583
Shut up!
1104
00:59:16,583 --> 00:59:17,542
You're waking people up!
1105
00:59:17,542 --> 00:59:19,708
You shut up! Come get some!
1106
00:59:39,750 --> 00:59:41,042
My name is Megaton.
1107
00:59:43,042 --> 00:59:44,125
Are you Ma Fendou?
1108
00:59:45,833 --> 00:59:47,083
Hmm. Not bad looking.
1109
00:59:47,917 --> 00:59:49,417
Get inside me.
1110
00:59:59,417 --> 01:00:00,917
Never in my wildest dreams
1111
01:00:01,000 --> 01:00:02,167
did I imagine
1112
01:00:02,167 --> 01:00:04,375
I'd have my own Transformer one day.
1113
01:00:06,583 --> 01:00:08,167
Are you a new character?
1114
01:00:09,042 --> 01:00:11,708
I don't recall a Megaton...
1115
01:00:12,667 --> 01:00:14,042
Any relation to Megatron?
1116
01:00:14,625 --> 01:00:17,167
None whatsoever. I'm not a Transformer.
1117
01:00:17,750 --> 01:00:19,375
I'm a Transchanger.
1118
01:00:20,167 --> 01:00:21,542
Never heard of that.
1119
01:00:22,917 --> 01:00:25,417
Why would I have wished for a Transchanger?
1120
01:00:26,167 --> 01:00:27,542
You were around nineteen,
1121
01:00:27,708 --> 01:00:29,750
and saw a neighbor kid
playing with my line of toys.
1122
01:00:29,958 --> 01:00:31,792
So you...
1123
01:00:34,125 --> 01:00:36,333
So the kid was playing with a knock-off?
1124
01:00:36,458 --> 01:00:39,167
You wished for a real-life version of me.
1125
01:00:39,167 --> 01:00:40,167
Now I'm here.
1126
01:00:40,417 --> 01:00:41,833
I've noticed something.
1127
01:00:41,917 --> 01:00:44,750
Furong enjoys taking
things I've said in passing
1128
01:00:44,750 --> 01:00:46,667
and making them come true.
1129
01:00:47,292 --> 01:00:47,917
No matter.
1130
01:00:48,292 --> 01:00:49,917
I'll take a robot car any day.
1131
01:00:50,125 --> 01:00:52,167
Just think of the
adventures we're gonna have.
1132
01:00:52,583 --> 01:00:53,583
Sweet.
1133
01:00:53,750 --> 01:00:55,333
Your body feels amazing
1134
01:00:56,125 --> 01:00:57,292
against my leather.
1135
01:01:01,375 --> 01:01:02,375
What'd you say?
1136
01:01:02,750 --> 01:01:04,750
Um. Hold on to me.
1137
01:01:06,042 --> 01:01:07,875
No, no. Touch it, touch it.
1138
01:01:08,000 --> 01:01:09,000
Don't be embarrassed.
1139
01:01:27,292 --> 01:01:28,292
Whoa!
1140
01:01:42,750 --> 01:01:43,750
Watch it for me.
1141
01:01:43,958 --> 01:01:44,875
Don't let anybody touch it.
1142
01:01:44,875 --> 01:01:45,875
Yes, sir!
1143
01:02:12,542 --> 01:02:13,667
You smell nice.
1144
01:02:19,083 --> 01:02:21,625
Fendou, let's go somewhere else.
1145
01:02:21,667 --> 01:02:23,333
Yeah, let's go to your place.
1146
01:02:23,833 --> 01:02:25,000
My place?
1147
01:02:26,042 --> 01:02:27,333
Let's go to the Maldives!
1148
01:02:27,333 --> 01:02:28,542
Yeah! Yeah!
1149
01:02:28,708 --> 01:02:30,250
Let's take your private jet!
1150
01:02:31,250 --> 01:02:32,375
Private jet?
1151
01:02:32,500 --> 01:02:34,375
Boss, your jet can be fueled
1152
01:02:34,458 --> 01:02:35,542
and ready in two hours.
1153
01:02:37,292 --> 01:02:39,167
Come on, take us away.
1154
01:02:39,167 --> 01:02:40,167
Please!
1155
01:02:41,125 --> 01:02:43,625
Look, let me go in and say hello,
1156
01:02:43,792 --> 01:02:45,750
and then we'll go, all right?
1157
01:02:45,750 --> 01:02:46,417
Yay.
1158
01:02:46,417 --> 01:02:48,833
We'll go anywhere you ladies want.
1159
01:02:49,000 --> 01:02:50,125
OK.
1160
01:03:03,208 --> 01:03:04,208
Hey uh,
1161
01:03:04,750 --> 01:03:06,750
wait for me at the bar, cool?
1162
01:03:06,875 --> 01:03:08,958
No! We've been waiting all day.
1163
01:03:09,333 --> 01:03:10,875
Be good girls and wait at the bar, OK?
1164
01:03:11,583 --> 01:03:12,875
Hey, come on...
1165
01:03:14,042 --> 01:03:15,333
Order anything you want.
1166
01:03:15,417 --> 01:03:17,458
Here, buy drinks, whatever.
1167
01:03:22,875 --> 01:03:23,875
Don't leave!
1168
01:03:24,167 --> 01:03:26,083
Don't forget, you all love me.
1169
01:03:26,250 --> 01:03:27,875
Love you!
1170
01:03:37,833 --> 01:03:38,833
Shanshan!
1171
01:03:40,208 --> 01:03:41,208
Fendou!
1172
01:03:42,708 --> 01:03:43,958
Sorry I'm late.
1173
01:03:45,792 --> 01:03:47,000
So glad you could come.
1174
01:03:47,375 --> 01:03:48,833
- Wouldn't miss it.
- Sit down.
1175
01:03:50,708 --> 01:03:52,750
Sure you're in the right place?
1176
01:03:54,208 --> 01:03:56,458
This isn't a casino, Mr. Chow.
1177
01:03:59,208 --> 01:04:00,542
I forgot to tell you.
1178
01:04:01,167 --> 01:04:02,458
I saw "God of Gamblers" once.
1179
01:04:02,625 --> 01:04:05,458
My wish to be as cool as
Chow Yun-Fat came true.
1180
01:04:06,042 --> 01:04:08,917
Let me buy an introductory round.
1181
01:04:08,917 --> 01:04:10,083
This pocket?
1182
01:04:10,208 --> 01:04:12,375
There's always money in it now.
1183
01:04:14,792 --> 01:04:17,208
You didn't wish for hot
girls to go with the look?
1184
01:04:18,667 --> 01:04:19,708
They're here.
1185
01:04:19,875 --> 01:04:20,875
At the bar.
1186
01:04:20,958 --> 01:04:23,958
So your wishes are getting better.
1187
01:04:24,292 --> 01:04:25,292
Not too shabby.
1188
01:04:25,458 --> 01:04:26,500
What wishes?
1189
01:04:29,917 --> 01:04:30,917
Long story.
1190
01:04:32,250 --> 01:04:33,667
To Shanshan's happiness!
1191
01:04:33,667 --> 01:04:35,000
To the happiness of Shanshan!
1192
01:04:35,125 --> 01:04:36,125
Cheers!
1193
01:04:42,000 --> 01:04:43,792
Congratulations.
1194
01:04:44,667 --> 01:04:47,042
I wish you happiness forever.
1195
01:04:48,500 --> 01:04:49,500
Truly.
1196
01:04:52,083 --> 01:04:53,083
Thanks.
1197
01:05:02,708 --> 01:05:03,708
Where is he?
1198
01:05:04,500 --> 01:05:06,042
The groom?
1199
01:05:07,250 --> 01:05:09,000
What? You want to meet him?
1200
01:05:09,208 --> 01:05:10,208
Sure!
1201
01:05:15,083 --> 01:05:17,958
Never mind. I'll meet him eventually.
1202
01:05:19,667 --> 01:05:20,667
Hey, Shanshan...
1203
01:05:21,917 --> 01:05:22,917
Hey, Ni.
1204
01:05:25,417 --> 01:05:27,375
- Come here, a friend wants to meet you.
- Okay.
1205
01:05:27,792 --> 01:05:28,792
I'll be back.
1206
01:05:33,792 --> 01:05:34,792
Excuse me,
1207
01:05:35,208 --> 01:05:36,375
gotta use the restroom.
1208
01:05:50,750 --> 01:05:51,750
Hey!
1209
01:05:52,833 --> 01:05:53,875
What are you doing here?
1210
01:05:54,000 --> 01:05:56,125
Looks like you're over her.
1211
01:05:57,917 --> 01:06:00,792
Yeah. Over ages ago.
1212
01:06:01,250 --> 01:06:03,000
Don't worry. Your reaction's normal.
1213
01:06:03,208 --> 01:06:05,250
After all, your ex-girlfriend
is getting married.
1214
01:06:05,625 --> 01:06:07,417
It's normal to feel
1215
01:06:07,833 --> 01:06:08,792
nostalgic,
1216
01:06:08,833 --> 01:06:10,250
maybe even a bit jealous,
1217
01:06:10,875 --> 01:06:13,458
but that doesn't mean you still love her.
1218
01:06:14,000 --> 01:06:16,208
Exactly. Because there's
no way I'm that guy.
1219
01:06:16,208 --> 01:06:17,750
You definitely can't be that guy.
1220
01:06:18,375 --> 01:06:19,375
Which guy?
1221
01:06:19,667 --> 01:06:22,333
The guy who only realizes
what he had after he loses it.
1222
01:06:22,792 --> 01:06:24,250
That guy is the worst.
1223
01:06:25,667 --> 01:06:27,333
Everybody hates that guy, right?
1224
01:06:27,333 --> 01:06:28,917
Those guys are assholes.
1225
01:06:30,125 --> 01:06:31,125
No thanks.
1226
01:06:31,833 --> 01:06:33,583
- Here.
- Thanks very much.
1227
01:06:33,583 --> 01:06:34,583
Good service.
1228
01:06:38,375 --> 01:06:39,500
I can wash my hands.
1229
01:06:40,375 --> 01:06:41,625
How come I can wash my hands?
1230
01:06:41,875 --> 01:06:43,250
Is this because of my Chow wish?
1231
01:06:43,458 --> 01:06:45,292
Chow does like to take care of himself.
1232
01:06:45,667 --> 01:06:47,958
I know him well.
1233
01:06:48,542 --> 01:06:49,792
Really, really well.
1234
01:06:50,083 --> 01:06:52,375
Why else would he look so good for so long.
1235
01:06:53,750 --> 01:06:54,750
Thank you.
1236
01:06:55,583 --> 01:06:56,583
Hey man.
1237
01:07:02,625 --> 01:07:03,958
- Thanks.
- Thank you man.
1238
01:07:09,625 --> 01:07:10,625
Fendou!
1239
01:07:11,875 --> 01:07:13,750
Luo! What's up?
1240
01:07:14,958 --> 01:07:16,167
Why are you here?
1241
01:07:18,000 --> 01:07:19,083
And that outfit!
1242
01:07:19,583 --> 01:07:20,863
That's some fashion right there.
1243
01:07:20,958 --> 01:07:21,958
Thanks.
1244
01:07:22,125 --> 01:07:23,325
Going to the wedding tomorrow?
1245
01:07:28,667 --> 01:07:30,500
That's the guy from the commercial.
1246
01:07:31,375 --> 01:07:32,375
Why is he here?
1247
01:07:37,958 --> 01:07:39,500
You never seen them kiss before?
1248
01:07:40,333 --> 01:07:41,542
She's marrying him?!
1249
01:07:42,083 --> 01:07:42,792
Yeah.
1250
01:07:42,875 --> 01:07:44,083
The friggin lotion guy?!
1251
01:07:44,167 --> 01:07:45,333
You seen that ad too, huh?
1252
01:07:46,042 --> 01:07:46,583
Dude,
1253
01:07:47,042 --> 01:07:48,542
they've gotta be using that stuff
1254
01:07:48,833 --> 01:07:49,833
all the time.
1255
01:07:50,083 --> 01:07:52,958
They probably get tubs for free.
1256
01:07:53,042 --> 01:07:54,792
Lifetime supply to oil each other up.
1257
01:07:54,792 --> 01:07:56,208
Hell, they probably shower with it.
1258
01:07:56,208 --> 01:07:57,750
Bathe in it, make some tea with it.
1259
01:07:58,375 --> 01:07:59,542
Yo, you remember in the ad?
1260
01:07:59,708 --> 01:08:02,958
When he winks in the end?
1261
01:08:03,083 --> 01:08:04,083
I love that.
1262
01:08:04,375 --> 01:08:06,667
You can tell the guy is a beast.
1263
01:08:06,667 --> 01:08:08,500
That's all he thinks about, like --
1264
01:08:08,500 --> 01:08:09,667
Let's go!
1265
01:08:09,708 --> 01:08:10,667
Why are you ignoring us?
1266
01:08:10,667 --> 01:08:14,292
- Let's go, baby. Come on.
- Let's get on the plane.
1267
01:08:25,208 --> 01:08:26,458
- Okay.
- Baby, let's go!
1268
01:08:26,542 --> 01:08:27,542
Come on!
1269
01:08:29,333 --> 01:08:30,333
Come on.
1270
01:09:05,792 --> 01:09:07,125
You know what I want right now?
1271
01:09:07,417 --> 01:09:08,917
Fendou, naked.
1272
01:09:09,042 --> 01:09:10,042
How did you know?
1273
01:09:10,292 --> 01:09:13,542
Because all you think about is doing him.
1274
01:09:20,792 --> 01:09:21,792
This song!
1275
01:09:23,250 --> 01:09:24,250
Come on.
1276
01:09:42,375 --> 01:09:43,542
What. The. Hell.
1277
01:09:44,083 --> 01:09:45,292
Why you tripping?
1278
01:09:47,583 --> 01:09:48,667
How about...
1279
01:09:49,542 --> 01:09:50,583
Let's all kiss instead.
1280
01:09:51,542 --> 01:09:52,625
Good idea!
1281
01:09:53,583 --> 01:09:54,375
Together!
1282
01:09:54,375 --> 01:09:55,917
Get in here!
1283
01:10:20,083 --> 01:10:21,333
No, no, no!
1284
01:10:21,917 --> 01:10:23,292
Stop! Stop!
1285
01:10:25,208 --> 01:10:27,792
Stop. I'm sorry.
1286
01:10:32,042 --> 01:10:33,917
I appreciate all this.
1287
01:10:35,708 --> 01:10:36,708
But...
1288
01:10:37,167 --> 01:10:38,250
But I can't.
1289
01:10:38,667 --> 01:10:39,667
Why?
1290
01:10:46,958 --> 01:10:48,583
- Because...
- Because why?
1291
01:10:55,583 --> 01:10:56,792
Because I'm that guy.
1292
01:10:57,500 --> 01:10:58,500
What guy?
1293
01:11:01,208 --> 01:11:03,917
Why don’t you go by yourselves?
1294
01:11:04,500 --> 01:11:06,792
Just tell the driver, uh, guy
1295
01:11:06,958 --> 01:11:08,583
to take you to the Maldives.
1296
01:11:09,208 --> 01:11:11,333
- No! We're not going alone!
- Or go to Bali.
1297
01:11:11,625 --> 01:11:13,000
Take my jet wherever you want.
1298
01:11:13,000 --> 01:11:14,875
- Together please?
- Okay?
1299
01:11:16,167 --> 01:11:17,167
Hey,
1300
01:11:17,875 --> 01:11:20,583
make a U-turn and drop me off
first, thanks.
1301
01:11:21,833 --> 01:11:23,125
What the hell?
1302
01:11:58,833 --> 01:11:59,833
Get in.
1303
01:12:00,542 --> 01:12:02,458
Leave me alone. I wanna walk.
1304
01:12:02,792 --> 01:12:03,792
Come on...
1305
01:12:04,125 --> 01:12:05,417
Maybe I can help.
1306
01:12:08,000 --> 01:12:09,000
What would you know.
1307
01:12:09,417 --> 01:12:13,000
In any relationship,
there are calms before storms.
1308
01:12:13,375 --> 01:12:15,500
There will be days when we lose faith,
1309
01:12:15,875 --> 01:12:18,125
but we will never forsake this planet!
1310
01:12:18,167 --> 01:12:20,208
Wait, not planet. We'll never give up --
1311
01:12:20,250 --> 01:12:21,530
- What was it again?
- Forget it.
1312
01:12:22,292 --> 01:12:24,292
Even your speeches are Prime knockoffs.
1313
01:12:25,167 --> 01:12:26,927
Stop pretending to be
something you're not...
1314
01:12:43,083 --> 01:12:44,083
You're back.
1315
01:12:45,542 --> 01:12:47,250
Wow, looking smooth.
1316
01:12:47,792 --> 01:12:49,958
- Didn't you two...
- Break up?
1317
01:12:50,958 --> 01:12:52,000
We made up!
1318
01:12:52,292 --> 01:12:54,125
Did I somehow wish...
1319
01:12:54,292 --> 01:12:55,792
Wishes smishes.
1320
01:12:56,750 --> 01:12:59,208
Although, we do have you to thank for
1321
01:12:59,333 --> 01:13:02,375
wishing full fat ice cream is good for you.
1322
01:13:02,417 --> 01:13:03,897
Doctors recommend it for weight loss!
1323
01:13:04,208 --> 01:13:06,083
I told her about Shangguan Furong.
1324
01:13:06,125 --> 01:13:07,958
Yeah. That's badass!
1325
01:13:08,417 --> 01:13:10,333
Yeah, but, before you were all...
1326
01:13:10,333 --> 01:13:11,375
I've seen the light.
1327
01:13:11,708 --> 01:13:14,417
After you left, I passed out.
1328
01:13:15,042 --> 01:13:17,417
But when I woke up, I realized something.
1329
01:13:17,625 --> 01:13:19,333
I was moping around,
1330
01:13:19,333 --> 01:13:22,042
being a whiny bitch.
1331
01:13:22,625 --> 01:13:23,917
I realized I'd turned into you.
1332
01:13:24,792 --> 01:13:27,208
The you before your old wishes came true.
1333
01:13:27,625 --> 01:13:29,625
Randomly picking fights with me.
1334
01:13:29,625 --> 01:13:31,625
Randomly picking fights with Kai Li.
1335
01:13:31,875 --> 01:13:34,875
Wishing my life would get better overnight.
1336
01:13:35,667 --> 01:13:36,827
But it doesn't work that way.
1337
01:13:37,292 --> 01:13:40,542
Not everyone gets a magical
being to hook things up.
1338
01:13:40,792 --> 01:13:43,500
Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for you.
1339
01:13:43,875 --> 01:13:45,083
What I'm saying is,
1340
01:13:45,417 --> 01:13:47,542
to make one's wishes come true,
1341
01:13:47,875 --> 01:13:49,675
you gotta grab life by
the balls and screw it.
1342
01:13:52,458 --> 01:13:53,498
More positions the better.
1343
01:13:54,750 --> 01:13:55,750
But bro,
1344
01:13:56,000 --> 01:13:58,208
just don't let life screw you.
1345
01:14:00,125 --> 01:14:01,292
Baby,
1346
01:14:02,083 --> 01:14:03,792
I want it.
1347
01:14:13,250 --> 01:14:15,417
This ice cream is so friggin good!
1348
01:14:15,792 --> 01:14:16,792
You're right.
1349
01:14:16,958 --> 01:14:17,958
What?
1350
01:14:19,375 --> 01:14:21,292
Shanshan's getting married tomorrow, right?
1351
01:14:23,083 --> 01:14:24,292
But I still love her.
1352
01:14:24,708 --> 01:14:25,708
I know.
1353
01:14:26,500 --> 01:14:27,500
You know?
1354
01:14:27,542 --> 01:14:29,667
Everyone does, so obvious.
1355
01:14:30,500 --> 01:14:31,500
I have to see her.
1356
01:14:32,083 --> 01:14:33,083
I have to see her.
1357
01:14:33,333 --> 01:14:34,333
I have to tell her.
1358
01:14:35,167 --> 01:14:36,167
Dude, dude.
1359
01:14:36,417 --> 01:14:38,125
It's almost 3 in the morning.
1360
01:14:38,333 --> 01:14:40,417
We mortals still need sleep.
1361
01:14:40,750 --> 01:14:42,375
Go play DOTA or something,
1362
01:14:42,750 --> 01:14:43,750
deal with it in the AM.
1363
01:14:47,375 --> 01:14:49,000
I'm gonna kill you!
1364
01:14:51,625 --> 01:14:52,375
Ma Fendou!
1365
01:14:52,375 --> 01:14:53,375
Open up!
1366
01:14:54,500 --> 01:14:56,667
I know you're home. Lights are on.
1367
01:14:57,083 --> 01:14:58,125
I know you don't sleep!
1368
01:14:58,542 --> 01:15:00,708
Don't leave her waiting, go tell her!
1369
01:15:02,583 --> 01:15:03,583
So romantic!
1370
01:15:04,167 --> 01:15:05,417
- Open up!
- Hurry up!
1371
01:15:07,333 --> 01:15:08,333
Shanshan.
1372
01:15:08,458 --> 01:15:09,458
Take a good look.
1373
01:15:10,208 --> 01:15:11,375
Notice anything different?!
1374
01:15:13,500 --> 01:15:14,500
What the --
1375
01:15:14,542 --> 01:15:15,583
You tell me!
1376
01:15:16,083 --> 01:15:17,375
You perv!
1377
01:15:17,917 --> 01:15:18,958
When did you wish for this?
1378
01:15:18,958 --> 01:15:19,958
Wait, no.
1379
01:15:20,167 --> 01:15:20,958
Who else would it be.
1380
01:15:21,000 --> 01:15:22,833
No really! I didn't...
1381
01:15:23,583 --> 01:15:24,583
Shit.
1382
01:15:24,792 --> 01:15:25,958
Was it that one time...
1383
01:15:28,208 --> 01:15:29,250
Damn it, Earth Goddess!
1384
01:15:29,542 --> 01:15:30,542
Where are you?
1385
01:15:30,667 --> 01:15:31,417
Don't worry.
1386
01:15:31,667 --> 01:15:33,708
You really need to come fix this now!
1387
01:15:33,792 --> 01:15:36,500
Bigger boobs, no surgery.
What you complaining about?
1388
01:15:36,583 --> 01:15:37,943
I can't fit into my wedding dress!
1389
01:15:40,958 --> 01:15:41,958
Can I feel them?
1390
01:15:43,667 --> 01:15:47,583
So soft and bouncy! You're super lucky!
1391
01:15:48,333 --> 01:15:49,292
Babe, come feel these.
1392
01:15:49,292 --> 01:15:50,083
Yeah, okay, sure.
1393
01:15:50,083 --> 01:15:51,292
You guys aren't helping!
1394
01:15:51,417 --> 01:15:53,167
I can't believe he wished for this.
1395
01:15:53,750 --> 01:15:54,750
- Shanshan - So fess up.
1396
01:15:55,000 --> 01:15:56,400
What else didn't you like about me?
1397
01:15:57,667 --> 01:15:59,184
Obviously my boobs weren't big enough.
1398
01:15:59,208 --> 01:16:00,208
My forehead's too big?
1399
01:16:00,417 --> 01:16:01,697
Take too long brushing my teeth?
1400
01:16:01,917 --> 01:16:03,167
Forget to turn on my phone?
1401
01:16:03,333 --> 01:16:04,333
Shanshan.
1402
01:16:04,417 --> 01:16:05,583
Listen to me...
1403
01:16:05,875 --> 01:16:07,833
Can we talk, calmly?
1404
01:16:08,375 --> 01:16:10,255
Ask them. I was about to
find you to tell you --
1405
01:16:11,167 --> 01:16:13,367
You nuts? Telling her now
will have the opposite effect!
1406
01:16:14,125 --> 01:16:15,125
Don't hide from me!
1407
01:16:15,542 --> 01:16:16,167
Answer me!
1408
01:16:16,500 --> 01:16:17,167
Sorry.
1409
01:16:17,458 --> 01:16:20,125
I'll tell that old perv to
make you the way you were.
1410
01:16:28,583 --> 01:16:29,583
I'm sorry
1411
01:16:30,542 --> 01:16:32,167
the way I was wasn't what you wanted.
1412
01:16:33,125 --> 01:16:34,805
But did you ever think about how you were?
1413
01:16:34,917 --> 01:16:36,042
The way you chew your food.
1414
01:16:36,458 --> 01:16:37,458
Your socks everywhere.
1415
01:16:38,792 --> 01:16:40,312
Not showering after a basketball game.
1416
01:16:41,167 --> 01:16:42,208
Even then,
1417
01:16:43,583 --> 01:16:46,208
I never wished you'd change for me.
1418
01:16:48,250 --> 01:16:49,375
After we broke up,
1419
01:16:50,833 --> 01:16:52,250
for a while there,
1420
01:16:54,000 --> 01:16:56,000
I actually missed your annoying habits.
1421
01:16:58,208 --> 01:16:59,458
Because they are a part of you.
1422
01:17:01,333 --> 01:17:02,375
You understand?
1423
01:17:05,042 --> 01:17:06,042
But I want to thank you.
1424
01:17:08,292 --> 01:17:09,500
Now I finally know,
1425
01:17:10,083 --> 01:17:11,500
why you suddenly broke up with me.
1426
01:17:12,125 --> 01:17:13,500
Shanshan, Shanshan!
1427
01:17:14,750 --> 01:17:16,042
You're misunderstanding it.
1428
01:17:18,833 --> 01:17:19,833
I have to go.
1429
01:17:20,125 --> 01:17:21,125
It's late.
1430
01:17:21,333 --> 01:17:22,583
I have a wedding at noon.
1431
01:17:26,250 --> 01:17:27,583
And a wedding dress to alter.
1432
01:17:37,583 --> 01:17:38,625
I still love you!
1433
01:17:56,042 --> 01:17:57,042
Damn you!
1434
01:17:59,208 --> 01:18:00,208
You jerk!
1435
01:18:00,458 --> 01:18:01,792
What are you doing?!
1436
01:18:02,500 --> 01:18:03,583
Why?
1437
01:18:09,375 --> 01:18:10,375
Shanshan.
1438
01:18:11,250 --> 01:18:12,250
Shanshan.
1439
01:18:58,417 --> 01:18:59,750
Hey, it's Bo here.
1440
01:19:00,167 --> 01:19:01,625
I'm still in Italy for business.
1441
01:19:02,708 --> 01:19:04,500
Sorry for dragging this out so long.
1442
01:19:05,250 --> 01:19:06,417
Compared to others,
1443
01:19:06,625 --> 01:19:09,542
you seem an honest standup guy.
1444
01:19:09,750 --> 01:19:12,583
I'm letting you insure my
factory, all 8000 workers.
1445
01:19:12,833 --> 01:19:15,250
Good thing you're a persistent fella.
1446
01:19:16,375 --> 01:19:17,958
Yong will follow up with you.
1447
01:19:26,208 --> 01:19:27,208
Li Fei,
1448
01:19:27,417 --> 01:19:28,250
wake up bro!
1449
01:19:28,292 --> 01:19:29,292
What's the time?
1450
01:19:36,375 --> 01:19:38,042
Can you turn that music down?
1451
01:19:40,708 --> 01:19:41,792
What the hell?
1452
01:19:41,792 --> 01:19:43,917
Megaton, volume.
1453
01:19:44,208 --> 01:19:47,458
The wedding program starts at 11am.
1454
01:19:47,625 --> 01:19:49,625
She's probably at her
parents' place getting ready.
1455
01:19:50,458 --> 01:19:51,917
Good work, stalker.
1456
01:19:58,500 --> 01:20:00,042
They're going with a seafood theme.
1457
01:20:00,125 --> 01:20:01,292
You just wait and see...
1458
01:20:01,333 --> 01:20:02,583
That'll be a disaster.
1459
01:20:02,583 --> 01:20:04,083
Hello diarrhea time.
1460
01:20:04,083 --> 01:20:04,917
Like, bad.
1461
01:20:04,917 --> 01:20:05,875
If I was in charge of planning...
1462
01:20:05,875 --> 01:20:06,917
Megaton.
1463
01:20:07,125 --> 01:20:08,125
I'm sorry,
1464
01:20:08,292 --> 01:20:10,458
it's just... I really like weddings.
1465
01:20:10,542 --> 01:20:11,708
I really do.
1466
01:20:16,625 --> 01:20:17,708
Dammit!
1467
01:20:19,375 --> 01:20:20,583
Dumb idiot!
1468
01:20:24,458 --> 01:20:25,708
Your driving sucks!
1469
01:20:45,917 --> 01:20:47,208
You know what to say, right?
1470
01:20:49,500 --> 01:20:50,542
I have no clue.
1471
01:20:50,833 --> 01:20:53,000
Be confident, but humble.
1472
01:20:53,000 --> 01:20:56,167
My boy's got it covered, Megaton.
1473
01:20:56,292 --> 01:20:57,708
You got this.
1474
01:20:57,917 --> 01:20:59,000
Don't think too much,
1475
01:20:59,042 --> 01:21:00,083
just be yourself.
1476
01:21:03,833 --> 01:21:04,833
Go get her!
1477
01:21:19,333 --> 01:21:20,958
Hello, sir!
1478
01:21:21,250 --> 01:21:22,250
Oh, Fendou!
1479
01:21:22,375 --> 01:21:23,375
I was about to go up.
1480
01:21:23,875 --> 01:21:25,667
So you're coming to the wedding?
1481
01:21:27,167 --> 01:21:27,875
No.
1482
01:21:28,000 --> 01:21:29,792
Actually I'm here to see Shanshan.
1483
01:21:30,208 --> 01:21:32,042
I have some very important
things to tell her.
1484
01:21:33,750 --> 01:21:34,917
Does it have to be right now?
1485
01:21:35,625 --> 01:21:36,708
Yes, right now.
1486
01:21:39,417 --> 01:21:40,708
I have to...
1487
01:21:41,625 --> 01:21:42,750
I need to talk to her alone.
1488
01:21:47,375 --> 01:21:48,708
Okay. Go on up.
1489
01:21:48,708 --> 01:21:49,708
Thanks.
1490
01:21:51,792 --> 01:21:52,792
WTF!
1491
01:21:52,833 --> 01:21:53,833
What're you --
1492
01:21:56,708 --> 01:21:57,708
What are you doing?
1493
01:21:58,750 --> 01:21:59,750
Oh it's on now.
1494
01:22:01,042 --> 01:22:02,583
This is his fight, Megaton.
1495
01:22:02,583 --> 01:22:03,875
This is his fight.
1496
01:22:04,542 --> 01:22:05,542
Fine.
1497
01:22:06,208 --> 01:22:09,375
Fendou, I've always liked you.
1498
01:22:09,542 --> 01:22:10,708
Then... why?!
1499
01:22:11,208 --> 01:22:15,125
I always hoped you and
Shanshan'd end up together.
1500
01:22:17,250 --> 01:22:18,625
Then don't hold me back!
1501
01:22:22,833 --> 01:22:23,875
Let me go!
1502
01:22:26,875 --> 01:22:29,458
Fendou, go try the side entrance.
1503
01:22:32,917 --> 01:22:34,167
- Fendou!
- Hi...
1504
01:22:34,167 --> 01:22:35,167
What are you doing here?
1505
01:22:35,667 --> 01:22:36,667
I'm here to see Shanshan.
1506
01:22:38,167 --> 01:22:39,167
Why...
1507
01:22:42,208 --> 01:22:44,542
He looks good, no?
1508
01:22:45,833 --> 01:22:47,042
He's been working out I see.
1509
01:23:01,500 --> 01:23:02,833
What the hell is going on here?!
1510
01:23:03,583 --> 01:23:04,625
No idea, man.
1511
01:23:17,917 --> 01:23:19,542
Woah! When did he wish that?
1512
01:23:20,125 --> 01:23:21,375
Last year, Li Fei.
1513
01:23:21,500 --> 01:23:22,375
He'd just downloaded --
1514
01:23:22,375 --> 01:23:23,458
No need you to tell me.
1515
01:23:54,250 --> 01:23:55,250
Zhuzhu!
1516
01:23:55,458 --> 01:23:57,500
- Zhuzhu! Stop shooting!
- Hey, what's up.
1517
01:23:57,500 --> 01:23:58,625
I'm here to see your cousin!
1518
01:23:58,917 --> 01:24:00,583
Will you be at the wedding?
1519
01:24:01,167 --> 01:24:02,833
Lsten, be good, stop shooting.
1520
01:24:03,750 --> 01:24:04,750
Ma Fendou!
1521
01:24:05,583 --> 01:24:06,583
Give it up!
1522
01:24:07,125 --> 01:24:08,208
What do you mean?
1523
01:24:08,625 --> 01:24:11,458
Let it go! You can't get in.
It's impossible.
1524
01:24:11,542 --> 01:24:13,167
Nothing's impossible!
1525
01:24:13,500 --> 01:24:15,750
No, brother, this is!
1526
01:24:16,292 --> 01:24:17,292
I can do it!
1527
01:24:18,458 --> 01:24:20,667
This was one of your wishes, remember?
1528
01:24:21,125 --> 01:24:23,250
When you made the wish
I was right next to you.
1529
01:24:24,750 --> 01:24:25,750
Bullshit.
1530
01:24:26,958 --> 01:24:28,125
It was at that restaurant.
1531
01:24:28,542 --> 01:24:30,583
A bus drove by,
1532
01:24:30,708 --> 01:24:31,708
and you said...
1533
01:24:32,000 --> 01:24:33,042
What did I say?
1534
01:24:33,417 --> 01:24:34,708
You said it yourself.
1535
01:24:34,875 --> 01:24:37,042
You wished you didn't
have to see her again!
1536
01:25:03,625 --> 01:25:06,583
I said I didn't want to see her everywhere!
1537
01:25:08,125 --> 01:25:09,333
Do you hear me?
1538
01:25:10,208 --> 01:25:11,417
Are you deaf!
1539
01:25:11,625 --> 01:25:14,583
Everywhere! Not ever again!
1540
01:25:15,250 --> 01:25:16,375
That was wish nineteen,
1541
01:25:17,000 --> 01:25:18,083
the last one.
1542
01:25:18,583 --> 01:25:20,667
Won't he ever be able to see her again?
1543
01:25:21,333 --> 01:25:23,042
I'll find a way in!
1544
01:25:24,292 --> 01:25:26,083
Turn around before it gets serious.
1545
01:25:26,500 --> 01:25:27,833
Don't let this get out of hand.
1546
01:25:35,667 --> 01:25:36,667
Cops are here.
1547
01:25:46,458 --> 01:25:50,083
Step away from the old ladies.
Leave the area.
1548
01:26:23,542 --> 01:26:25,708
You're definitely not getting in.
1549
01:26:49,875 --> 01:26:51,375
You sick bitch!
1550
01:26:52,042 --> 01:26:53,042
Earth Goddess!
1551
01:26:54,250 --> 01:26:55,250
Show yourself!
1552
01:26:55,708 --> 01:26:57,125
Get out here!
1553
01:26:58,250 --> 01:27:00,042
Sorry, sorry, he's not talking about you.
1554
01:27:01,083 --> 01:27:02,417
We're leaving! Sorry!
1555
01:27:03,458 --> 01:27:06,083
I know you're hiding, watching me.
1556
01:27:06,750 --> 01:27:09,250
Leave now and you won't be arrested.
1557
01:27:24,917 --> 01:27:25,917
Not sure...
1558
01:27:26,250 --> 01:27:27,417
Anyway, cops all left.
1559
01:27:29,375 --> 01:27:30,375
Sweetie,
1560
01:27:30,917 --> 01:27:32,277
I think you've padded it too much.
1561
01:27:39,708 --> 01:27:40,833
She's not picking up,
1562
01:27:41,250 --> 01:27:42,750
her phone's on silent.
1563
01:27:43,542 --> 01:27:44,542
Man...
1564
01:27:46,750 --> 01:27:47,958
If you could,
1565
01:27:48,500 --> 01:27:50,167
would you take all those wishes back?
1566
01:27:52,000 --> 01:27:54,000
If I could, I'd do anything.
1567
01:27:54,333 --> 01:27:55,542
Aww, touching.
1568
01:27:56,458 --> 01:27:59,125
Would that include all the wishes...
1569
01:28:00,208 --> 01:28:03,417
The jet, the car, the
babes, the superpowers?
1570
01:28:03,417 --> 01:28:04,417
And me.
1571
01:28:04,875 --> 01:28:06,458
And Megaton?
1572
01:28:06,917 --> 01:28:07,917
And the ice cream?
1573
01:28:08,292 --> 01:28:10,000
Oh man, full fat ice cream...
1574
01:28:11,167 --> 01:28:14,167
Throwing away all you've wished for,
1575
01:28:14,458 --> 01:28:16,167
for one small chance
1576
01:28:16,500 --> 01:28:20,125
to get back what you had, but gave up?
1577
01:28:28,875 --> 01:28:30,167
Too bad I don't know how.
1578
01:28:30,875 --> 01:28:32,125
Cuz that'd really help now.
1579
01:28:32,333 --> 01:28:33,333
Wait.
1580
01:28:34,708 --> 01:28:36,750
When did my wishes start coming true?
1581
01:28:38,875 --> 01:28:40,167
- When...
- That's right.
1582
01:28:40,792 --> 01:28:42,917
Right after you got that package.
1583
01:28:44,000 --> 01:28:46,875
What do we do with packages we don't want?
1584
01:28:47,958 --> 01:28:49,625
- Usually...
- Correct.
1585
01:28:50,125 --> 01:28:51,125
Return them.
1586
01:28:51,542 --> 01:28:52,667
We return them to sender.
1587
01:28:52,792 --> 01:28:53,583
Right, Megaton?
1588
01:28:53,583 --> 01:28:54,792
Return to sender!
1589
01:28:55,958 --> 01:28:57,542
Let the doer be the one to undo.
1590
01:28:58,000 --> 01:28:59,000
You got it, bro?
1591
01:29:00,375 --> 01:29:03,542
Li Fei's way smarter than you, Fendou.
1592
01:29:03,708 --> 01:29:06,333
You're wasting all that
talent as a delivery guy.
1593
01:29:06,333 --> 01:29:08,417
Who said you have to use
talent if you have it?
1594
01:29:08,417 --> 01:29:10,377
Who says I'm wasting it?
I'm content with my life.
1595
01:29:10,667 --> 01:29:12,333
But we don't know the sender's address.
1596
01:29:12,333 --> 01:29:14,833
Jeez. You don't need it!
1597
01:29:14,958 --> 01:29:17,333
That's the delivery company's
problem, not yours.
1598
01:29:17,917 --> 01:29:18,958
Except today.
1599
01:29:19,125 --> 01:29:21,250
Your branch is closed this morning.
1600
01:29:21,375 --> 01:29:23,292
Well they better open it!
1601
01:29:40,167 --> 01:29:41,333
Sure about this?
1602
01:29:42,083 --> 01:29:43,083
You think this'll work?
1603
01:29:43,542 --> 01:29:44,875
I don't have to think.
1604
01:29:45,333 --> 01:29:48,208
I'm a professional delivery technician.
1605
01:29:50,292 --> 01:29:51,458
Lemme make a call first.
1606
01:29:54,500 --> 01:29:55,917
Yo, dawg...
1607
01:29:56,500 --> 01:29:57,625
it's me, Li Fei.
1608
01:29:57,708 --> 01:29:58,958
Do you think you could...
1609
01:29:59,958 --> 01:30:00,958
No?
1610
01:30:01,542 --> 01:30:03,292
Okay, okay, I got it.
1611
01:30:03,292 --> 01:30:04,875
Fine. Blacklist this jackass.
1612
01:30:05,250 --> 01:30:06,208
What a dick.
1613
01:30:06,250 --> 01:30:08,000
Why do we need him?
1614
01:30:08,417 --> 01:30:11,375
For starters,
we need keys to get in the office.
1615
01:30:12,083 --> 01:30:12,750
I can.
1616
01:30:12,750 --> 01:30:15,750
No, my manager needs to sign off.
1617
01:30:16,583 --> 01:30:18,708
Don't worry. I have an ace up my sleeve.
1618
01:30:19,500 --> 01:30:20,500
My supervisor.
1619
01:30:20,583 --> 01:30:22,250
The one you smacked two weeks ago?
1620
01:30:22,500 --> 01:30:23,500
Yo, Liu,
1621
01:30:23,833 --> 01:30:25,083
my man! It's Li Fei.
1622
01:30:29,083 --> 01:30:31,417
I already told you,
1623
01:30:32,000 --> 01:30:34,417
a mosquito landed on your face.
1624
01:30:34,458 --> 01:30:36,000
Lucky I killed it.
1625
01:30:39,750 --> 01:30:41,958
Well, it kept flying back!
1626
01:30:41,958 --> 01:30:44,125
Should I have let it sting you in the eye?
1627
01:30:44,792 --> 01:30:46,708
You should be thanking me, OK?
1628
01:30:46,792 --> 01:30:48,042
So you can reciprocate by
1629
01:30:48,042 --> 01:30:50,417
opening the office in 10 minutes.
1630
01:30:51,000 --> 01:30:53,292
I have an urgent 704 situation.
1631
01:30:55,292 --> 01:30:56,292
No.
1632
01:30:56,708 --> 01:30:59,625
You're talking about a code 324.
1633
01:30:59,792 --> 01:31:00,917
Your memory sucks!
1634
01:31:01,167 --> 01:31:04,125
I'll recite the employee
handbook right now.
1635
01:31:07,500 --> 01:31:08,500
Hey, forget it!
1636
01:31:08,750 --> 01:31:09,917
No time to BS with you.
1637
01:31:10,333 --> 01:31:12,458
I didn't want to say this,
1638
01:31:12,458 --> 01:31:13,792
but you're forcing me:
1639
01:31:15,333 --> 01:31:18,708
I know about you and the boss's wife.
1640
01:31:19,958 --> 01:31:21,208
Perfect. See you soon.
1641
01:31:38,458 --> 01:31:40,208
Good luck, Ma Fendou.
1642
01:31:40,500 --> 01:31:43,083
It's been an honor hanging with you.
1643
01:31:46,625 --> 01:31:48,875
Thank you, Megaton. I'll miss you.
1644
01:31:55,167 --> 01:31:57,417
That's one classy car.
1645
01:31:57,458 --> 01:32:00,000
No, Ma Fendou, come back!
1646
01:32:00,000 --> 01:32:01,333
Fendou, I love you!
1647
01:32:01,667 --> 01:32:03,333
Come back!
1648
01:32:03,333 --> 01:32:05,292
I can't be without you!
1649
01:32:06,000 --> 01:32:08,667
- Megaton! Get a grip!
- Don't leave me!
1650
01:32:09,083 --> 01:32:11,000
Ten minutes? You said ten.
1651
01:32:11,042 --> 01:32:13,167
- Your eye any better?
- Suck it.
1652
01:32:17,375 --> 01:32:18,375
That okay?
1653
01:32:18,583 --> 01:32:19,583
Yeah, no problem.
1654
01:32:19,875 --> 01:32:21,708
You're breaking the rules, you know that?
1655
01:32:22,458 --> 01:32:24,625
Would it kill you to keep quiet?
1656
01:32:25,000 --> 01:32:26,208
What are they gonna do?
1657
01:32:26,417 --> 01:32:28,000
Send us to "mail jail"?
1658
01:32:28,167 --> 01:32:30,083
Shut up and read exactly what I wrote.
1659
01:32:31,792 --> 01:32:32,917
What the hell is this?
1660
01:32:32,917 --> 01:32:34,375
What do you care?
1661
01:32:34,625 --> 01:32:35,667
Just read it.
1662
01:32:36,042 --> 01:32:37,762
I think another mosquito is on your face...
1663
01:32:38,750 --> 01:32:40,583
Read it, Liu!
1664
01:32:41,083 --> 01:32:45,208
As your delivery provider,
I must inform you
1665
01:32:45,208 --> 01:32:49,292
refusing this package may
result in major consequences.
1666
01:32:49,292 --> 01:32:51,042
Do you wish to continue?
1667
01:32:53,625 --> 01:32:54,958
Yes. Yes I do.
1668
01:32:55,000 --> 01:32:57,667
Then it is with great pleasure I hereby
1669
01:32:57,667 --> 01:32:59,333
accept said package,
1670
01:32:59,333 --> 01:33:02,750
and wish you success and
happiness in all things.
1671
01:33:07,417 --> 01:33:09,667
Go get her, stupid...
1672
01:33:13,333 --> 01:33:14,958
I love you, man.
1673
01:33:17,208 --> 01:33:18,583
Liu's so friggin gay.
1674
01:33:19,000 --> 01:33:20,000
Slap it on!
1675
01:33:23,167 --> 01:33:24,417
"Return to Sender"
1676
01:33:27,250 --> 01:33:28,375
We done here?
1677
01:33:28,625 --> 01:33:30,042
Anything else?
1678
01:33:38,875 --> 01:33:40,458
It's returned, but nothing's happening.
1679
01:33:41,125 --> 01:33:42,792
What were you guys expecting?
1680
01:34:02,583 --> 01:34:03,583
I beg you.
1681
01:34:05,958 --> 01:34:07,083
I beg you.
1682
01:34:07,750 --> 01:34:08,958
I beg you.
1683
01:34:09,042 --> 01:34:10,333
I beg you, please!
1684
01:34:12,917 --> 01:34:14,208
You finally came!
1685
01:34:15,000 --> 01:34:16,917
Holy crap! God damn!
1686
01:34:17,917 --> 01:34:19,517
- I was suffocating in there!
- You okay?
1687
01:34:19,625 --> 01:34:21,250
Are you stupid?
1688
01:34:21,708 --> 01:34:23,125
Ask and ye shall have.
1689
01:34:23,250 --> 01:34:25,625
They teach you manners for a reason.
1690
01:34:25,667 --> 01:34:28,042
I almost died in there,
before you finally said "please"!
1691
01:34:28,208 --> 01:34:29,208
Sorry.
1692
01:34:29,875 --> 01:34:30,875
All right,
1693
01:34:31,500 --> 01:34:32,875
let's take back your wishes.
1694
01:34:33,333 --> 01:34:34,333
Great.
1695
01:34:34,917 --> 01:34:35,917
Thank you.
1696
01:34:36,042 --> 01:34:37,042
You ready?
1697
01:34:37,458 --> 01:34:38,875
- Yeah.
- Watch this.
1698
01:34:43,042 --> 01:34:44,250
What the hell?
1699
01:35:12,250 --> 01:35:13,250
Thanks.
1700
01:35:29,750 --> 01:35:30,750
What?
1701
01:35:31,042 --> 01:35:32,202
Aren't we going to a wedding?
1702
01:35:32,583 --> 01:35:33,583
Let's go!
1703
01:35:36,583 --> 01:35:37,583
Sup?
1704
01:35:38,750 --> 01:35:39,750
Sup yourself?
1705
01:35:42,458 --> 01:35:44,042
Don't worry. It's just around the corner.
1706
01:35:44,042 --> 01:35:45,042
Hurry up.
1707
01:35:58,292 --> 01:36:00,375
Officer, please be merciful.
1708
01:36:00,625 --> 01:36:01,625
Merciful.
1709
01:36:01,833 --> 01:36:03,458
You're lucky I'm not arresting you!
1710
01:36:03,917 --> 01:36:04,917
Look where you are.
1711
01:36:05,000 --> 01:36:06,000
You call this a road?
1712
01:36:06,167 --> 01:36:07,875
I'm sorry. Our mistake.
1713
01:36:07,875 --> 01:36:09,083
But it's an emergency.
1714
01:36:09,750 --> 01:36:11,333
You wouldn't understand.
1715
01:36:12,667 --> 01:36:14,083
Understand what?
1716
01:36:16,167 --> 01:36:17,167
It's for...
1717
01:36:18,000 --> 01:36:19,750
for love.
1718
01:36:21,792 --> 01:36:22,500
Yes!
1719
01:36:22,750 --> 01:36:25,167
My bro's soul mate
1720
01:36:25,167 --> 01:36:27,333
is marrying some jerk in half an hour.
1721
01:36:27,500 --> 01:36:29,792
We must be there to stop the wedding.
1722
01:36:31,375 --> 01:36:32,375
Wedding?
1723
01:36:34,500 --> 01:36:35,875
I friggin hate weddings.
1724
01:36:37,792 --> 01:36:40,208
I met my wife at a wedding.
1725
01:36:40,958 --> 01:36:41,958
Follow me.
1726
01:36:42,875 --> 01:36:43,958
I'm heading that way.
1727
01:36:44,792 --> 01:36:45,792
Really?
1728
01:36:47,417 --> 01:36:50,583
Life's full of little miracles.
1729
01:38:03,208 --> 01:38:04,208
What are you doing?
1730
01:38:06,875 --> 01:38:09,792
Yeah. What am I doing?
1731
01:38:11,667 --> 01:38:12,917
What if she doesn't want me?
1732
01:38:13,167 --> 01:38:15,250
What if she's actually happy with this guy?
1733
01:38:15,792 --> 01:38:17,917
I can't label him a prick
1734
01:38:18,250 --> 01:38:19,970
just because he was in a stupid commercial.
1735
01:38:20,083 --> 01:38:21,542
Does this make
1736
01:38:22,000 --> 01:38:23,167
me the asshole?
1737
01:38:23,167 --> 01:38:24,167
No, dude,
1738
01:38:24,750 --> 01:38:27,333
I meant the wedding's down the hall.
1739
01:38:27,417 --> 01:38:29,750
This here is a Go tournament.
1740
01:38:31,708 --> 01:38:32,708
But...
1741
01:38:33,167 --> 01:38:34,708
what about all the stuff I just said?
1742
01:38:35,458 --> 01:38:36,458
Wasn't listening.
1743
01:38:37,000 --> 01:38:38,000
Good.
1744
01:38:41,583 --> 01:38:42,583
Wait!
1745
01:38:44,583 --> 01:38:45,875
Wait!
1746
01:38:45,875 --> 01:38:46,625
What's wrong?
1747
01:38:46,625 --> 01:38:48,583
Come on! If you have balls, let's go!
1748
01:38:49,958 --> 01:38:50,958
Ma Fendou,
1749
01:38:51,125 --> 01:38:52,125
what are you doing?
1750
01:38:52,500 --> 01:38:53,500
Ma Fendou?
1751
01:38:53,708 --> 01:38:54,828
Your ex-boyfriend Ma Fendou?
1752
01:38:54,958 --> 01:38:56,583
Why is he here? Tell him to leave.
1753
01:38:56,708 --> 01:38:59,083
What kind of best men are you guys?
1754
01:38:59,125 --> 01:39:01,667
He's right, do something.
1755
01:39:01,875 --> 01:39:03,000
Chill bro.
1756
01:39:03,000 --> 01:39:04,167
What if we get in a fight?
1757
01:39:04,167 --> 01:39:05,434
We've got that commerial tomorrow.
1758
01:39:05,458 --> 01:39:06,458
Commercial my ass!
1759
01:39:07,500 --> 01:39:08,500
Sorry.
1760
01:39:10,458 --> 01:39:11,458
Guests...
1761
01:39:15,417 --> 01:39:16,417
Mr. Ren.
1762
01:39:17,000 --> 01:39:18,000
Ma'am.
1763
01:39:19,667 --> 01:39:20,667
Shanshan,
1764
01:39:22,125 --> 01:39:23,125
I'm sorry.
1765
01:39:24,875 --> 01:39:26,333
I'm not here to cause any problems.
1766
01:39:27,792 --> 01:39:30,208
If me being here is hurting you…
1767
01:39:30,208 --> 01:39:33,000
Wait -- haven't you made
a habit of hurting her?
1768
01:39:34,500 --> 01:39:35,500
You're right.
1769
01:39:38,667 --> 01:39:39,667
Mr. Anus Yao.
1770
01:39:42,667 --> 01:39:43,667
Angus Yao!
1771
01:39:43,958 --> 01:39:44,958
You need glasses?
1772
01:39:46,333 --> 01:39:47,750
I'm sorry, Mr. Angus.
1773
01:39:48,083 --> 01:39:49,083
My mistake.
1774
01:39:51,000 --> 01:39:52,000
Shanshan,
1775
01:39:53,208 --> 01:39:54,667
about what happened before,
1776
01:39:56,167 --> 01:39:57,750
I truly apologize.
1777
01:39:58,625 --> 01:39:59,625
I was thinking,
1778
01:40:00,625 --> 01:40:02,625
there are some things I must tell you,
1779
01:40:02,750 --> 01:40:04,042
because you misunderstood me.
1780
01:40:04,583 --> 01:40:06,223
If you can give me a chance to explain...
1781
01:40:07,917 --> 01:40:08,875
Do you need to?
1782
01:40:08,917 --> 01:40:10,077
I don't think there's a need.
1783
01:40:10,333 --> 01:40:11,750
What I want to say is...
1784
01:40:12,750 --> 01:40:14,375
Just speak from the heart.
1785
01:40:14,750 --> 01:40:16,542
Even if it sounds stupid, don't hold it in.
1786
01:40:18,708 --> 01:40:19,708
The last few days,
1787
01:40:21,375 --> 01:40:22,458
My life has been...
1788
01:40:24,042 --> 01:40:24,958
very exciting,
1789
01:40:24,958 --> 01:40:26,167
very entertaining...
1790
01:40:27,417 --> 01:40:30,042
But, no matter how fantastic,
1791
01:40:30,500 --> 01:40:31,500
or how amazing...
1792
01:40:32,875 --> 01:40:34,583
I still didn't really feel happy.
1793
01:40:35,917 --> 01:40:38,125
True happiness, from the heart...
1794
01:40:39,000 --> 01:40:40,000
You know?
1795
01:40:40,417 --> 01:40:42,333
Even though things kept getting better,
1796
01:40:44,083 --> 01:40:46,500
I didn't have you to share them with.
1797
01:40:47,458 --> 01:40:48,500
I understand now.
1798
01:40:49,458 --> 01:40:50,818
The only thing that makes me happy
1799
01:40:51,292 --> 01:40:52,292
is you.
1800
01:40:55,375 --> 01:40:56,375
Do you still remember
1801
01:40:56,792 --> 01:40:58,458
that client of mine, Mr. Bo?
1802
01:40:58,917 --> 01:41:01,208
Yeah. The one who always strung you along.
1803
01:41:01,375 --> 01:41:02,375
Right.
1804
01:41:03,167 --> 01:41:04,792
He finally bought from me.
1805
01:41:05,500 --> 01:41:06,500
And it was a huge order.
1806
01:41:07,708 --> 01:41:08,875
Then you owe me dinner.
1807
01:41:10,083 --> 01:41:12,167
I bet you back then he'd be a big client.
1808
01:41:12,167 --> 01:41:13,167
You didn't believe me.
1809
01:41:15,083 --> 01:41:16,363
I owe you a lifetime of dinners.
1810
01:41:18,000 --> 01:41:19,167
Hang on, hang on.
1811
01:41:20,042 --> 01:41:22,042
Are you two serious right now?
1812
01:41:22,625 --> 01:41:23,417
Shanshan,
1813
01:41:23,417 --> 01:41:25,458
I never cared that your forehead's big,
1814
01:41:26,333 --> 01:41:27,625
it just means you're smarter.
1815
01:41:27,792 --> 01:41:29,417
With all that tooth brushing,
1816
01:41:29,917 --> 01:41:31,333
your white teeth are what makes
1817
01:41:32,250 --> 01:41:34,333
your smile light up the room.
1818
01:41:36,042 --> 01:41:37,833
I know I don't deserve you.
1819
01:41:38,208 --> 01:41:40,125
But as long as you don't give up on me,
1820
01:41:40,917 --> 01:41:42,917
I'll try to not give up on myself.
1821
01:41:47,708 --> 01:41:48,708
Shanshan.
1822
01:41:49,000 --> 01:41:51,375
I'm just an average regular guy.
1823
01:41:52,375 --> 01:41:53,375
And I think
1824
01:41:54,875 --> 01:41:56,417
that's something everyone can see.
1825
01:41:58,417 --> 01:41:59,833
Somehow I got you to be with me,
1826
01:42:01,708 --> 01:42:02,958
and you stayed for six years.
1827
01:42:04,333 --> 01:42:06,375
Secretly I always admired myself for that.
1828
01:42:08,083 --> 01:42:09,417
Being together with you has been
1829
01:42:10,250 --> 01:42:11,690
the most fortunate thing in my life.
1830
01:42:12,250 --> 01:42:13,250
Other than you,
1831
01:42:14,458 --> 01:42:15,538
I don't want anything else.
1832
01:42:19,375 --> 01:42:20,375
Fendou...
1833
01:42:42,583 --> 01:42:43,583
I'm sorry, Angus.
1834
01:42:51,375 --> 01:42:52,917
Now I finally know
1835
01:42:54,333 --> 01:42:56,792
why you always seemed distant.
1836
01:42:57,250 --> 01:42:58,250
Thanks a lot.
1837
01:43:01,375 --> 01:43:02,792
The hell you guys doing? Come on!
1838
01:43:03,583 --> 01:43:06,583
Never thought my wedding would implode.
1839
01:43:11,250 --> 01:43:12,708
What are you waiting for?
1840
01:43:45,542 --> 01:43:48,333
Your son just crashed a wedding.
Come to the Langham.
1841
01:43:50,542 --> 01:43:51,667
Strange.
1842
01:43:52,750 --> 01:43:55,792
All my wishes were returned
to the Earth Goddess.
1843
01:43:57,167 --> 01:43:58,208
How come they're still...
1844
01:44:00,833 --> 01:44:02,458
You'll have to ask Earth Goddess.
1845
01:44:11,583 --> 01:44:13,792
I made an exception.
I'm in a good mood today.
1846
01:44:14,292 --> 01:44:16,500
A back-together gift for the young couple.
1847
01:44:17,167 --> 01:44:19,833
So what did we learn here?
1848
01:44:20,458 --> 01:44:22,208
We learned that
1849
01:44:22,458 --> 01:44:24,333
there's greatness in all of us.
1850
01:44:25,625 --> 01:44:26,708
Well, not all of us.
1851
01:44:26,958 --> 01:44:29,000
Like this douche-bag behind me. He sucks.
1852
01:44:30,417 --> 01:44:33,583
Maybe we didn't learn anything.
1853
01:44:34,750 --> 01:44:36,375
Maybe you did, I know I didn't.
1854
01:44:36,667 --> 01:44:38,375
Dunno, gotta think about it more...
1855
01:44:38,375 --> 01:44:39,833
We'll talk about it later.
1856
01:44:40,292 --> 01:44:41,333
I need to go...
1857
01:44:41,333 --> 01:44:42,542
Who are you talking to?
1858
01:44:43,250 --> 01:44:45,583
I forgot. I thought I was still invisible.
1859
01:44:49,250 --> 01:44:49,708
Holy crap!
1860
01:44:50,125 --> 01:44:51,125
Where'd she go?
1861
01:45:18,125 --> 01:45:20,083
Son, you finally did something right.
1862
01:45:20,083 --> 01:45:22,000
You didn't let the good girl get away.
1863
01:45:24,083 --> 01:45:26,958
The whole office's talking
about your big deal.
1864
01:45:28,667 --> 01:45:30,167
It helps you lose weight.
1865
01:45:36,000 --> 01:45:38,083
If you don't like it, return it.
1866
01:45:39,458 --> 01:45:40,458
Not too bad.
1867
01:45:41,167 --> 01:45:42,327
When can I examine the goods?
1868
01:45:42,792 --> 01:45:43,792
Anytime.
1869
01:46:40,917 --> 01:46:41,917
Fendou.
1870
01:46:42,250 --> 01:46:43,250
Let's go.
1871
01:46:43,583 --> 01:46:44,583
Coming.
119917
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