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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: {95}{152}After the birth|of her second son, Vacete, {156}{247}the Fallbutuses finally bought|a town house off the Goldhawk Road {251}{395}where in 1827 Audubon had lived while|he worked on his Birds of America. {563}{631}After her husband's death,|Betheda spent her time {635}{699}ferrying her children|between the two houses. {702}{782}Eventually she ferried her|grandchildren back and forth. {786}{850}And it was to see Cathine|and her grandchildren {853}{947}that Betheda drove down to the Lleyn|farm, the House of the Two Palms, {951}{1023}on the evening|of the Violent Unknown Event. {1135}{1228}She arrived at five o'clock in the|morning, two hours before dawn. {1366}{1414}Her grandchildren had strung a rope {1418}{1496}between the two palms that fronted|the garden to the west. {1500}{1568}Both children were hanging|by their legs. {1572}{1673}The nose of the elder child was|bleeding, dripping onto the gravel. {1677}{1757}The younger child had a bruised|forehead and was singing. {1761}{1823}As Betheda took this in,|she started to sneeze {1827}{1891}and then to blow bubbles|of mucus from her nose. {1895}{1953}Groping in her sleeve|for a handkerchief {1957}{2027}she saw a hoopoe was sitting|in one of the palms. {2031}{2107}From then on Betheda suffered|from an excess of catarrh {2110}{2200}that blurred her speech, forced her|to breathe through her mouth, {2204}{2276}tainted her food|and irritated her digestion, {2279}{2376}making her life so wretched|that she often contemplated suicide. {2380}{2444}She said it was the excitement|of immortality {2447}{2498}that stopped her cutting her wrists. {2502}{2568}But more likely a concern|for her grandchildren {2571}{2631}made her accept her disabilities. {3034}{3094}(speaks Welsh) {3215}{3283}Cathine Fallbutus,|after six years in America, {3287}{3374}returned to the Lleyn peninsula|and the House of the Two Palms. {3378}{3500}Now a divorcee with two daughters,|she planned to buy a guesthouse. {3504}{3570}As a child she had known|the Tyddyn- Corn Farm {3573}{3660}and half in jest had always planned|to marry its owner. {3999}{4091}Now the owner was gone|and the farm was empty. {4137}{4256}Cathine contacted the farm agents,|found out the highest price offered {4260}{4338}and bettered it, and in anticipation|of owning the farm, {4342}{4449}bought a can of paint called Canary|Ochre and painted the front door. {4482}{4593}Against the whitewashed walls, the|door could be seen for several miles. {4608}{4701}The agent gave Cathine the key and|with her two children she explored {4705}{4804}the house, barns and outbuildings|that fronted the Boulder Orchard. {4832}{4887}On the eve|of the Violent Unknown Event, {4891}{4988}Cathine and her daughters|were at the Tyddyn- Corn farmhouse. {4992}{5095}In a yard in front of the house on a|washing line strung between two trees {5099}{5183}was a rag,|possibly a dishcloth or floorcloth. {5186}{5276}It might have hung there for months.|It was grey with age or dirt. {5280}{5381}Menenome, Cathine's eldest daughter,|asked her mother what it was. {5385}{5443}Cathine replied that it was a clout. {5447}{5542}The children were amused at such|a dead- sounding monosyllabic word. {5546}{5620}Their laughter surprised a ewe... {5623}{5742}That night, the VUE struck, maybe|in the Boulder Orchard, maybe not. {5746}{5835}Cathine, the following morning,|was found unconscious in bed. {5839}{5901}The Boulder Orchard|became a restricted area {5905}{5998}and the Tyddyn- Corn Farm remained|unoccupied for a further six years. {6002}{6094}Cathine was registered as a|Maudine- speaking young female woman {6098}{6185}with a passion for symmetry.|Her body reabsorbed her breasts {6189}{6263}and the top digits|of all her fingers and toes. {6267}{6364}Not uninfluenced by her mother,|Cathine reverted to her maiden name {6368}{6453}and legalised Fallbutus|as the surname of her children. {6457}{6529}Adept at all languages,|Cathine relearnt Welsh {6532}{6606}and opened a guesthouse|for VUE victims at Aberdaron, {6610}{6731}living quietly, rejecting numerous|and persistent offers of marriage. {7057}{7125}When Coppice had first tried|to learn Betelguese {7128}{7217}Adioner could be translated into|Italian to mean "yellow"... {7221}{7324}Bwythan Fallbutus was Betheda's|eldest son. Until he was killed, {7327}{7426}he was the officially appointed VUE|Commission's linguistic expert. {7448}{7507}He lived just off the Goldhawk Road {7511}{7606}within three minutes' walk of his|mother, whom he visited every day. {7610}{7641}Wish to possess... {7645}{7717}The VUE had given Bwythan|a bone- marrow deficiency, {7721}{7775}wattles and cobs along his backbone {7779}{7847}and a foot disease|that shredded his toenails. {7850}{7905}He could drink salt water|without harm {7909}{7992}but felt listless away from|the influence of chlorophyll. {8081}{8155}Bwythan could speak|14 VUE languages {8159}{8253}and interpret successfully in|nine of them at a diplomatic level. {8298}{8401}And it was Bwythan who had organised|the examination of Agropio Fallaver, {8404}{8470}the sole speaker of the language|named after him. {8474}{8538}Although Bwythan|came to the private opinion {8542}{8612}that Fallaver was somehow a fake|manoeuvred by FOX, {8616}{8686}the Society for|Ornithological Extermination. {8689}{8751}...an antidote|to all the world's feathers. {8755}{8903}Bwythan has privately researched|the 10,000 most popularly used words {8906}{9094}in 43 of the main VUE languages and|produced a comparative dictionary. {9098}{9192}From this research he wrote a book,|The View from Babel, {9196}{9266}to explain, or attempt to explain, {9269}{9380}the gift of tongues|and the fragmentation of language. {9417}{9462}A fox watched a crow... {9465}{9502}In trying to do this, {9505}{9625}and in his associated search|for a common linguistic denominator, {9629}{9728}he successfully demonstrated|that the names of birds {9732}{9800}were important key words. {9852}{9939}It was rumoured that because|of the conclusions of his research {9943}{10050}Bwythan was run down by a white|van, registration number NID 92, {10053}{10110}on a zebra crossing|in the Goldhawk Road. {10114}{10198}A van with this registration had|been seen outside his house {10202}{10243}an hour before the accident. {10246}{10339}The police later found the vehicle|on a deserted airfield. {10343}{10428}It was supposed the assailant|or assailants had escaped by air. {10432}{10463}...what you lack are wits. {10853}{10929}Cathine's daughters,|Menenome and Olivine Fallbutus, {10933}{11005}spent the summer months|in the company of a red chair. {11008}{11080}In honour of this chair|and in his pursuit of Cathine {11083}{11133}the toy- maker, Cisgatten Fallbazz, {11137}{11213}had given Menenome|and Olivine a picture book. {11769}{11847}Menenome, perpetually|eight years old, spoke Maudine, {11850}{11903}was prone to toothache|and nosebleeds, {11907}{11973}and was happiest hanging|upside down like a bat. {11976}{12025}She sang a lot, swam well, {12029}{12121}and like a velvet scoter, could stay|under water for five minutes. {12234}{12312}Olivine, perpetually four years old,|a Maudine speaker, {12316}{12397}frugivorous and neuralgic,|spent much of her time asleep. {12401}{12455}When awake,|she accompanied her sister {12459}{12572}in an extended dance, song and talk|marathon with the red folding chair. {12585}{12653}Dragged along the tide line,|floated in the sea, {12656}{12726}tied to a breakwater,|the chair only lasted a summer {12730}{12777}and always had to be replaced. {13172}{13267}Menenome remembered one word of|English which she taught her sister, {13271}{13329}though Olivine|may have remembered it. {13333}{13409}They used the word|to describe the VUE's malevolence. {13413}{13497}They pronounced it with a fierce,|sharp, monosyllabic stab. {13500}{13541}The word was "clout". {13740}{13808}Vacete Fallbutus|was Betheda's youngest son. {13812}{13860}Mother and son seldom communicated {13864}{13953}because Betheda disapproved|of how her son earned his living, {13957}{14054}though Vacete rarely left|the vicinity of the Goldhawk Road. {14103}{14200}Vacete could do all the tricks|of the body conjuror's repertoire. {14203}{14259}He could waggle his ears,|spit 80 yards {14263}{14349}and blow smoke rings through|his nose. He was a gifted petomane. {14353}{14438}There were dubious and dangerous|tricks that Vacete would do {14442}{14531}for special prices in the|public houses of the Goldhawk Road. {14542}{14579}He stayed in The Swakeley, {14583}{14674}named after the collective noun|for immature carrier pigeons, {14693}{14792}in The Wheatsheaf, changed from|The Wheatear because the publican {14795}{14904}had no belief in the Responsibility|of Birds, in The Goldhawk, {14908}{14996}and on the night of the VUE, Vacete|was found sightless and breathless {15000}{15064}in the beer garden|at The Raven public house. {15068}{15119}He was running in small circles. {15122}{15192}The blindness was impermanent,|and only returned {15195}{15269}when the light was less than f11|on the Weston scale. {15272}{15362}Later Vacete became allergic to|travelling at speeds over 10mph, {15366}{15430}unless it happened|when the light was under f11, {15433}{15492}when he couldn't see|how fast he was going. {15496}{15599}Lf, in spite of all precautions, he|did see light flashing by at 15mph, {15603}{15708}he was sick, painfully giddy and|found it hard to catch his breath. {15712}{15761}His personal hero was Reichfelt, {15765}{15855}the patriot airman who threw himself|off the Eiffel Tower in 1909. {15859}{15917}Vacete's family|scorned the hero worship, {15921}{15974}knowing Vacete was scared of heights. {15977}{16005}To prove them wrong, {16009}{16110}Vacete climbed the railway bridge|in the Goldhawk Road and leapt off. {16113}{16146}He survived the jump, {16150}{16255}but under the bridge the light|registered less than f11. {16259}{16335}Stumbling in small circles,|temporarily blinded, {16339}{16409}Vacete was run over by a white van. {16471}{16520}At the buzzer, in 30 seconds {16524}{16577}name as many birds|as you can think of. {16581}{16612}(buzzer) {16616}{16707}Great northern diver, red- throated|diver, black- throated diver, {16711}{16800}bean goose, barnacle goose,|red- breasted goose, snowgoose... {16804}{16878}Astra Fallcas was|a very responsive interviewee {16881}{16934}in Falluper's ornithological survey {16938}{17014}filmed some 18 months before|the Violent Unknown Event. {17018}{17102}...whimbrel, curlew,|redshank, greenshank, {17106}{17165}marsh sandpiper, terek sandpiper... {17169}{17259}It is difficult to interview Astra|again, for he has disappeared. {17263}{17327}Everything points|to his having gone to earth. {17330}{17371}Capercaillie, {17375}{17424}lammergeyer, {17427}{17468}cassowary... {17485}{17526}In a hospital ophthalmic test {17529}{17615}after the Violent Unknown Event,|Astra amazed his examiners {17618}{17727}by recognising three- dimensional|shapes in almost total darkness {17731}{17820}but they noted his ability|did not extend to written letters. {17824}{17867}Pratincole, {17870}{17915}phalarope, {17918}{17953}sanderling... {17957}{18000}At the buzzer, in 30 seconds, {18003}{18079}name for me as many birds|as you can that start with B. {18083}{18109}(buzzer) {18113}{18216}Blackbird, bar- tailed godwit,|black- tailed godwit, bobolink, {18220}{18265}black vulture... {18352}{18446}Astra was an experienced|speleologist and ornithographer. {18450}{18473}...booby... {18477}{18541}Through the VUE,|he'd combined these interests {18545}{18611}to identify himself|with the Caprimulgiformes, {18615}{18707}the birds that flew at dusk or|twilight, and a year after the VUE {18711}{18777}he disappeared|on a night ferry to Le Havre. {18780}{18803}(buzzer) {18807}{18852}Capercaillie... {18855}{18939}He'd taken his camping equipment,|his savings, his maps, {18943}{19009}a supply of food|and a cassette tape recorder. {19075}{19182}For three years Astra's sister|received picture postcards, {19185}{19253}all of which featured cave systems. {19257}{19307}Then came a last postcard from Peru {19311}{19399}saying that Astra had found|a colony of guacharo, or oilbirds, {19403}{19502}at San Luis Rey and was|preparing a paper for the WSPB {19505}{19581}on echolocation sensibility|in birds. {19584}{19632}At the buzzer, in 30 seconds {19636}{19694}tell me as much as you can|about the Bittern. {19698}{19720}(buzzer) {19724}{19814}The Bittern is one of|the Ardeiformes, Botaurus stellaris. {19818}{19886}This Bittern,|Botaurus stellaris stellaris, {19889}{19940}is a crepuscular animal. {19944}{20047}Five years ago, Astra's sister and|three of his former caving friends {20051}{20117}went to Peru|to see if they could find him. {20121}{20197}They spent four months|in the cave systems of Tualito, {20201}{20302}searching, asking local people|and leaving provisions and equipment {20306}{20355}at useful cave landmarks. {20359}{20466}They also left tape cassettes|of some of Astra's favourite music. {20470}{20517}But with no result. {20576}{20652}Some 24 hours before they|were due to return to England, {20655}{20744}Astra's sister was in the|Castcatapel cavern at Tualito {20748}{20851}when she heard the Bird List Song|echoing along a deep cave system. {20854}{20955}She was convinced that Astra was|responsible for, characteristically, {20958}{21036}the treble frequencies|were accentuated, {21039}{21121}the instrumental backing|to the song had been tuned out {21124}{21202}and only the high- pitched|female voice was audible. {21366}{21444}David Fallcash.|Directory error. Non- VUE victim, {21448}{21520}entered into Directory|due to false representation. {21524}{21559}No criminal charge pending. {21825}{21934}Bewick Fallcaster is an alias given|by the Directory Commissioners, {21937}{22052}only knowing at the time of the first|edition the maiden name of his wife. {22069}{22133}Since there have been|no objections from him {22136}{22206}the name has been ratified|and is legal. {22373}{22490}Seven days after the VUE, Bewick|registered as a VUE victim at Zagreb, {22494}{22578}suffering from intermittent amnesia,|a singing migraine, {22581}{22666}ravenous appetite|and decalcification of the teeth. {22670}{22750}14 days after the VUE,|Bewick was in Budapest, {22754}{22834}where he described a VUE tinnitus|to a radio engineer {22838}{22943}who attempted to convey the nature of|the condition with a tape recording. {22946}{23010}To mask the insistent|repetitious sound, {23014}{23097}Bewick composed 92 variations|on his tinnitus theme {23101}{23202}and at night, to help him sleep, he|played them back through headphones. {23223}{23328}Bewick sent his family money,|fragments of taped music and slides. {23332}{23385}The money was in different currencies {23389}{23480}and the music was always recorded|in the neutral spaces of a studio, {23484}{23554}so it was to the slides|that Bewick's family turned {23557}{23646}to search for clues of Bewick's|whereabouts and state of health. {23706}{23774}When asked why Bewick|didn't return to his family, {23778}{23850}Bewick's wife had|four possible answers. {23854}{23930}A change in name|obliterated a sense of place. {23934}{24029}Bewick Fallcaster is dead and|the money, taped music and slides {24033}{24109}are sent by an imposter,|perhaps on behalf of the FOX. {24112}{24176}Tinnitus might be contagious. {24180}{24244}Bewick Fallcaster|was busy collecting music {24247}{24308}for an encyclopaedic|work of biography. {24473}{24535}Catch- Hanger Fallcaster|had been a teacher. {24539}{24622}She had taught Russian to Germans|and, before the VUE, {24626}{24694}would not have claimed|knowledge of ornithology. {24698}{24764}(buzzer) {24767}{24866}Stork, heron, swallow, {24882}{25014}swift, penguin, cassowary... {25018}{25090}The VUE had made Catch- Hanger|three inches taller, {25093}{25175}paralysed her index fingers|and improved her eyesight. {25178}{25281}She now taught Abcadefghan|to anyone who wanted to learn. {25284}{25376}Abcadefghan is often used|in papers on engineering, {25380}{25437}metallurgy and radiophonics. {25464}{25550}It is said that Lapps and Finns|can understand Abcadefghan, {25554}{25612}which is not|that scientifically valuable {25616}{25710}since there aren't that many|technical papers in these languages. {25825}{25885}Catch- Hanger|has translated Tulse Luper's {25889}{25936}Birds of the Northern Hemisphere, {25940}{26059}establishing pronunciation|equivalents for the Falconidae. {26063}{26158}She has also started work|on a Abcadefghan English primer {26162}{26232}that is based largely|on three nursery rhymes, {26236}{26306}Goosey Goosey Gander,|Who Killed Cock- Robin? {26310}{26369}And l Shot a Little Duck. {26590}{26677}Before the VUE, Clasper Fallcaster,|Bewick's mother- in- law, {26681}{26769}had always been very sensitive|to natural forms of electricity. {26773}{26849}Brushing her hair produced|sparks that lit her bedroom, {26853}{26910}and she reluctantly entered|any building {26914}{26975}that did not have|a lightning conductor. {26979}{27032}The VUE|had magnified this sensitivity {27036}{27119}and Clasper was now allergic|to large expanses of water. {27123}{27215}She kept away from the coast,|inland lakes and large rivers, {27219}{27293}and she was apprehensive|of open- air swimming pools. {27297}{27357}Her sense of direction|became phenomenal, {27361}{27464}but family car rides now had to be|planned to avoid bridges over water, {27468}{27550}and, in England, to especially avoid|the towns of Bath, {27554}{27622}Leamington, Harrogate|and Tunbridge Wells. {27626}{27708}The city of Clasper's nightmares|was Venice. {27712}{27778}Her sensitivity to the Earth's,|electric field {27782}{27865}was favourably compared|to night- flying migrational birds {27869}{27952}that could accurately navigate|without the moon and stars. {28215}{28303}Catch- Hanger's brother, Felix,|was a furniture designer. {28307}{28387}The VUE struck him when he was|on a subway train in Toronto, {28391}{28434}which he pronounced Ter'ono, {28438}{28530}so customs officials took him for|a local and ceased to search him {28534}{28606}for the feathers he imported|to plump up his sofas. {28610}{28676}The subway train driver|was killed by the VUE. {28680}{28789}Felix was trapped for 12 hours|without lights beneath Lake Ontario. {28793}{28875}As a result, he was nervous of|the smell of leather in the dark, {28879}{28949}a professionally|debilitating experience. {28952}{29043}Felix was sure he'd twice bumped into|his missing brother- in- law. {29047}{29107}Both times it wasn't|a facial recognition. {29111}{29216}First came a furniture auction in|the house of a musician outside Nice, {29219}{29330}where Felix recognised a repetitious|tune being played on a broken piano. {29348}{29428}When Felix investigated,|the pianist had gone. {29478}{29589}The second meeting was in a|drugstore at Fr�re Jacques, Delaware. {29593}{29659}Felix had queued|behind a man wearing earphones {29663}{29746}who filled in, then abandoned,|a customs declaration form, {29750}{29833}copying an address with|difficulty from a printed envelope. {29837}{29884}The address was Catch- Hanger's. {29888}{29983}The man bought a postcard of the|Fr�re Jacques Municipal Bandstand {29987}{30053}and a cassette|of birdsong of the Great Lakes. {30057}{30125}These items in due course turned up|the 14th time {30128}{30210}Catch- Hanger celebrated|her fifth wedding anniversary. {30421}{30482}Max Fallcaster,|Bewick's father- in- law, {30486}{30538}was an architect's photographer. {30579}{30672}Before the VUE, Max had illustrated|a classic textbook series {30676}{30727}on European rural building. {30766}{30857}After the VUE, he studied ornithology|and photographed nests. {30861}{30894}He is now planning a book {30897}{30958}on the buildings|of man and bird in symbiosis, {30962}{31063}storks on Bavarian chimneys and|swallows on English country houses. {31066}{31120}It may be|with his father- in- law in mind {31124}{31190}that Bewick photographed|these pigeon roosts. {31194}{31299}Max watched his son- in- law's slides|with critical interest, {31302}{31386}offering a geographical position|for Bewick's whereabouts {31389}{31478}based on his knowledge of nests|and vernacular architecture. {31659}{31696}Orian Fallcaster {31700}{31780}had Orian Bye entered as his name|on his birth certificate, {31784}{31877}Orian Oddmansson stitched onto|his first pair of swimming trunks {31881}{31971}and Orian Setolier printed on|his first lifesaving certificate. {31975}{32066}Nine months after his mother|expired in a ship's swimming pool, {32070}{32109}a fourth set of adoption... {32113}{32185}Before his biographical material|could be compiled {32188}{32285}yet another set of adoption papers|has been taken out on Orian's behalf {32288}{32377}and his name is now Orian Niagara,|thus putting him, much to his regret, {32381}{32455}officially outside the scope|of this present collection. {32483}{32573}What do you get when you cross|a chicken with a cement mixer? {32577}{32620}A bricklayer. {32651}{32735}On which side|does a chicken have most feathers? {32738}{32795}On the outside. {32799}{32867}Which birds|can lift the heaviest weights? {32871}{32902}The crane. {32906}{33031}"Throper Castor Fallcaster, born in|an egg, 11:41 pm on June the 13th, {33035}{33092}the year|of the Violent Unknown Event." {33096}{33150}That was the tiny inscription written {33154}{33226}on every egg in Throper's|secret collection. {33230}{33275}For true mythological accuracy {33278}{33336}it should have been written|on a swan's egg, {33340}{33373}but they were protected. {33377}{33451}What kind of bird|do you find down a coal pit? {33455}{33490}A mynah bird. {33494}{33549}Throper, oologist, infant polymath, {33553}{33644}collector of bird jokes in English,|Greek, German and Vionester, {33648}{33737}was Catch- Hanger's youngest nephew|and the survivor of twins. {33741}{33842}His brother Idis had perished of|embolism, and his mother of grief. {33845}{33901}As to his father,|no one knew where he was. {33905}{34002}Pursuing the Leda connection, gossip|made Bewick Fallcaster the father. {34005}{34038}Catch- Hanger denied it. {34041}{34105}Heard about the woodpecker?|It's boring. {34109}{34203}The VUE changed the colour of|Throper's hair and darkened his eyes. {34207}{34306}His average pulse rate had quickened|and he began to speak Vionester. {34309}{34357}Most Vionester is spoken {34361}{34456}with the teeth,|if not the lips, tightly closed. {34460}{34571}When the lips and teeth were parted,|it was only to whistle. {34574}{34691}Why did the owl owl?|Because the woodpecker woodpecker. {34695}{34776}Throper collected eggs,|perhaps because it was forbidden. {34780}{34871}A few domestic birds were exempt|and occasionally Max Fallcaster, {34875}{34953}Throper's uncle, notified Throper|of an abandoned nest. {34957}{35064}Why do birds fly south in the winter?|Because it's too far to walk. {35068}{35144}Throper devised a way|of drawing a photographic picture {35148}{35241}of the spots and freckles|that characterised eggshell markings, {35245}{35337}and devised a Responsibility|of Birds Theory of his own. {35341}{35419}What is a certain way|to get a wild duck? {35423}{35503}Buy a tame one...|Buy a tame one and annoy it. {35506}{35586}Cutting photosensitive paper|to wrap around the egg, {35590}{35693}Throper placed a fibre- optical light|source through a pinhole in the shell {35697}{35751}and exposed the film|through the shell. {35755}{35837}Why did the chicken cross the road?|For some fowl reason. {35841}{35944}From the negatives he made slides and|projected them onto his bedroom wall, {35948}{36043}making detailed and scaled drawings|to present to the VUE Commission {36047}{36101}along with his personal conclusions. {36105}{36189}What's red, white and black?|A sunburnt penguin. {36193}{36290}In recognition of his effort, the|Commission sent him an ostrich egg. {36510}{36590}Raskado Fallcastle|was a retired ship's navigator {36593}{36652}turned farmer who invented maps {36656}{36738}from the black- and- white hides|of his dairy herd. {36915}{36977}The Easter before|the Violent Unknown Event, {36981}{37061}while staying with his sister- in- law|near Hereford, {37065}{37125}Raskado met Gandy Ova,|a cartographer {37129}{37189}employed|by the Ornithological Society {37193}{37271}to plot the distribution of owls|in the Black Mountains. {37275}{37336}Raskado and Gandy exchanged maps. {37430}{37500}At 11:41 on the evening of the VUE, {37503}{37577}Raskado and Gandy Ova|were standing under a hot shower {37581}{37690}in a caravan site wash house on land|owned by Raskado's sister- in- law. {37757}{37814}The following morning,|Gandy Ova's body, {37818}{37917}covered in red and white blotches,|was found on the wash house forecourt {37920}{38010}and the local police accused Raskado|of murder by scalding. {38069}{38143}The police confiscated the cow maps|as evidence. {38147}{38219}Refused bail,|Raskado was held for seven days {38222}{38292}before the full details|of the VUE were known. {38407}{38481}The imprisonment,|the bereavement, a sense of guilt {38484}{38570}and rapidly developing VUE symptoms|of deafness and nausea, {38574}{38638}unbalanced Raskado's mind. {38700}{38743}On his release he bought a rifle, {38747}{38842}slaughtered his herd and tarred out|the white patches on their hides. {38846}{38936}With money from the knacker's yard,|he bought building materials {38940}{39035}and attempted to reconstruct the|wash house on his Suffolk property {39039}{39089}as a memorial to Gandy Ova. {39093}{39179}Then, learning of the Theory|of the Responsibility of Birds, {39183}{39253}he bought a shotgun|and two untrained retrievers {39256}{39343}and began a vigourous campaign|of ornithological slaughter, {39347}{39460}incinerating the corpses every Friday|in the reconstructed wash house. {39509}{39610}When the police began circulating|his photograph, Raskado left his farm {39613}{39681}and found his way|to the bird sanctuary at Minsmere {39685}{39726}to continue his onslaught. {39729}{39805}After three days of mayhem,|Raskado took the cow maps, {39808}{39913}the clothes Ova had taken off in the|shower house and a can of petrol, {39916}{40019}and burnt himself to death in|a bird hide in the marsh by the sea. {40212}{40327}Appropinquo Fallcatti spoke Agalese|and Orthocathalian {40331}{40442}and was classified a an elderly male|man with a body temperature of 109�C, {40446}{40524}the average temperature|of sedentary passerines. {40634}{40710}Appropinquo lived on the sea front|at Barmouth, {40713}{40797}in a two- roomed ground- floor flat|that faced the Atlantic. {40801}{40921}Fallcatti started his working life as|a veterinary ornithologist in Turin, {40925}{40972}staging musical pageants, {40976}{41064}until book reviews under the pen name|Gargeny earned him enough {41068}{41148}to give up his surgery|and concentrate on the production {41151}{41211}of what he called "ecological" dramas {41215}{41318}that earned him the derision of|theatre critics and biologists alike. {41321}{41397}Even public sympathy for|dramatised natural history {41401}{41518}in the years after the VUE did|not make Fallcatti a household name. {41523}{41622}Seeking a reputation with the British|Ornithological Establishment, {41625}{41703}Fallcatti with his wife|and adopted son came to England. {41707}{41735}To attract attention {41739}{41828}he wrote a biographical series|on celebrated ornithologists, {41832}{41896}and canvassed|for commercial sponsorship. {41900}{41982}In conjunction with the BFI,|the Bird Facilities Industry, {41986}{42066}Appropinquo Fallcatti|organised critical screenings {42069}{42139}of films with an ornithological bias. {42142}{42199}To ingratiate himself|with Tulse Luper {42203}{42318}he anticipated showing a little- known|film called A Walk Through H {42322}{42400}or The Reincarnation|of an Ornithologist. {42404}{42505}This film had been used|by Van Hoyten to reinforce the view {42509}{42620}that Tulse Luper was incapable of|distinguishing good jokes from bad, {42623}{42746}and was described by Gang Lion|as "a piece of cinematic guano." {42750}{42814}However, nobody could find|a copy of the film {42818}{42882}to check on Van Hoyten's|sense of humour {42886}{42981}or on Gang Lion's|ability to tell film from birdshit. {42985}{43070}It was consequently believed|that the film no longer existed, {43074}{43175}or indeed had ever existed,|but was a hoax set up by Fallcatti {43178}{43308}to dupe a public eager to identify|with any ornithological red herring. {43312}{43415}Some members of this public|had been persuaded that Tulse Luper {43419}{43481}was merely a pseudonym for Audubon. {43557}{43645}After this unsatisfactory|introduction to the British public, {43649}{43690}Fallcatti moved to Barmouth. {43693}{43759}In the evening,|when the light was not too bright, {43763}{43833}he ventured out|and sat in this promenade kiosk, {43836}{43894}sometimes with his wife,|sometimes alone. {43898}{43966}Fallcatti is now planning|a dramatised version {43969}{44070}of the Violent Unknown Event to rival|the Passion Play at Oberammergau. {44185}{44253}Agrimany Fallchester|was arrested and fined �80 {44257}{44374}for exploiting the area round the|Boulder Orchard for financial gain. {44408}{44498}If he had not pleaded guilty and|not cooperated with the authorities {44502}{44568}the fines would have been|ten times that amount. {44571}{44647}A not- guilty plea would|have easily been refuted. {44650}{44728}The police had film|of Agrimany collecting material {44731}{44817}from around the Boulder Orchard site|on three occasions. {44905}{44938}Thanks to the Event, {44942}{45031}Agrimany spoke Glozel|in the Northern Hemisphere version, {45035}{45121}had a six- part heart,|incipient petagium fellitis, {45125}{45172}enlarged ischial muscles {45176}{45254}and suffered from various|mild and seasonal skin changes {45258}{45332}which are associated|with moult in birds. {45354}{45434}Finding his London relatives|appreciative of samples {45438}{45533}taken from the Boulder Orchard|during his duties as a soil sampler, {45537}{45623}Agrimany was persuaded by an uncle|in the bird- token market {45627}{45730}to keep him supplied with suitable|mementos for the tourist trade. {45733}{45851}Eventually, with his girlfriend,|Agrimany began operating on his own, {45855}{45921}packaging three or four items|in a plastic bag {45925}{46003}and selling them|through a friend in Aberystwyth. {46042}{46103}Agrimany cooperated|with the authorities {46107}{46185}to demonstrate the sort|of material he was collecting. {46241}{46340}Organic items were favoured,|especially the skeletons of birds. {46453}{46556}His girlfriend's handwriting on a|label accompanying a crow wishbone {46559}{46639}started the police|on their investigation. {46647}{46717}Agrimany says that his prosecution|was a test case {46721}{46810}to deter others from entering|a potentially very profitable market. {46870}{46985}Biography unavailable. Subject|suspected of being blackmailed by FOX {46988}{47042}over a tar- and- feathering|prosecution. {47237}{47299}It is useful to believe|the Boulder Orchard {47303}{47379}is indeed the epicentre|of the Violent Unknown Event, {47383}{47492}if you want to believe in the Theory|of the Responsibility of Birds. {47496}{47554}Both mythologies,|and they are myths, {47558}{47628}appeal to those|with a vested interest in ecology... {47632}{47687}The Commission|interviewed five people {47691}{47746}who claimed to be Ostler Falleaver. {47789}{47876}Not one of the five spoke in|a fully authenticated VUE language, {47880}{47968}and they all made the identical|obviously prepared statement {47972}{48048}that denies any credence|in the Boulder Orchard. {48051}{48106}(speaks French) {48110}{48215}The VUE Commission assumes that this|multiple identity has been prepared {48219}{48309}to confuse the identity of the real|Ostler Falleaver, who in 1946, {48313}{48422}as a college graduate, we understand|is featured in this photograph. {48426}{48541}Until this is sorted out, we can only|usefully quote the VUE Directory. {48545}{48642}Ostler Falleaver is a middle- aged|sufferer of respiratory problems, {48645}{48733}glaucoma, involuntary speech|and compound schizophrenia. {48937}{49015}Edio Fallenby was classified|as an elderly female woman. {49019}{49079}She spoke Untowards|with a Yorkshire accent {49083}{49159}and suffered from fluttering|eyelashes, excess numeracy {49163}{49204}and a high blood temperature. {49414}{49519}Edio came from a very large family,|sisters, brothers, aunts, nephews, {49523}{49593}cousins, grandparents,|and great- grandparents. {49597}{49683}Between the Second World War|and the Violent Unknown Event, {49687}{49775}as many of the family as possible,|met for a fortnight's holiday {49779}{49847}on one of the beaches|on the East Yorkshire coast, {49850}{49943}Filey, Scarborough, Saltburn,|Redcar, Whitby and Bridlington. {49947}{50019}They occupied more|than one guesthouse at a time, {50022}{50092}and gathered on the beach|in fine weather and in bad, {50096}{50170}staking out a territory|known as the Fallenby camp. {50174}{50254}They were noisy, exhibitionist,|friendly, energetic, {50257}{50343}gregarious and generous.|The VUE wiped them all out. {50401}{50487}All except|Edio Fallenby and her husband. {50550}{50624}Edio was an officer|in the Woman's Voluntary Service, {50628}{50716}and at the time of the VUE,|when news arrived from the west {50720}{50769}of a disaster of large proportions, {50772}{50871}she was made responsible|for the welfare of her neighbourhood. {50874}{50930}Windows were criss- crossed with tape, {50934}{51045}and sterilised dustbins in the back|alleys cooked soup to feed 5,000. {51049}{51123}Every household container|was filled with water {51126}{51206}and left standing in the street|in case of fire. {51209}{51265}When the first fears|were not realised {51269}{51323}and the help needed|was of another kind, {51327}{51409}Edio Fallenby and her neighbours|went off to the hospitals. {51413}{51493}The soup was sold to a pig farmer,|the windows were stripped {51497}{51584}and water in the containers was|used to wash down the pavements. {51588}{51678}Several containers were never claimed|and stood in the streets {51682}{51793}as a reminder of the sort of disaster|usually expected of a Violent Event. {52054}{52134}Shey Fallenby's occupation|in the VUE Directory {52138}{52276}is listed as a ship's plumber,|retired, or ephemerologist. {52351}{52458}Either way, Shey drove a green van|in circles in Tooley Park Nurseries {52461}{52513}because, being a VUE hallucinist, {52517}{52607}he was not officially permitted|to drive on a public highway. {52726}{52804}Shey's dual occupation|stems from a bridge conversion. {52808}{52867}He is a member|of the San Luis Rey Society, {52871}{52941}a popular club|of some 2,000 VUE victims {52944}{53041}who were struck by the VUE|on bridges over running water. {53057}{53129}Shey holds|membership card number 19. {53319}{53400}Shey's bridge was the swing bridge|known as the Centre Walk, {53404}{53457}over the Treadle Canal, Liverpool. {53461}{53520}Shey was walking|to work the midnight shift {53524}{53619}on the evening of the Violent Unknown|Event when the warning bell rang {53623}{53699}and the bridge shook|as though struck by a barge. {53886}{53946}Shey doesn't remember|the next 56 hours, {53950}{54011}but apparently he got up|and kept on walking, {54015}{54074}not to the shipyards|but to the portside {54078}{54179}where he stowed away, and three weeks|later turned up in Hamburg. {54311}{54356}Five weeks later he was in Vienna {54360}{54436}tearing up English newspapers,|rearranging the items {54439}{54486}and pretending he was Tulse Luper. {54490}{54550}Shey Fallenby and Tulse Luper|have never met {54554}{54613}but they do share|a physical resemblance. {54725}{54791}Tulse Luper paid|for Shey to return to Liverpool, {54795}{54889}has since collected Shey's collages,|bound them into a book called, {54893}{54975}at Fallenby's insistence,|Tulse Luper and the Centre Walk, {54979}{55026}and presented it to the VUE Library {55030}{55104}Where it is catalogued|under Hobbyist of the Absurd. {55107}{55183}Its author, Shey Fallenby,|is described as... {55187}{55218}"A lover of crowds, {55222}{55303}an anti- vivisectionist,|a speaker of Glendower {55307}{55420}and an eclectic opportunist who|elusively remodels his personality {55423}{55491}on an ever- changing|succession of heroes." {55568}{55658}Affinado Falleur, according|to his wife, was paid �5,000 {55662}{55736}for changing his name|and identity by deed poll. {55740}{55841}The transaction took place in room 22|in The Crane Hotel, Guernsey. {55874}{55975}Affinado was given a selection|of ten identities to choose from. {55979}{56086}Only two of these were different|from the ten pseudonymous identities {56089}{56169}in the selection normally offered|by the VUE Commission. {56173}{56274}The differences were the replacement|of Van Hoyten by Gang Lion {56277}{56353}and Madame Klaust by Cissie Colpitts. {56357}{56460}From the list Falleur chose who he|thought was Nathan Isole Dermontier, {56463}{56529}the fifth identity in each list. {56571}{56692}Falleur- Dermontier shared the �5,000|with his wife and then disappeared. {56696}{56735}Falleur- Dermontier's wife {56739}{56827}has three theories to explain|her husband's identity change. {56831}{56932}Falleur's name was wanted by FOX|as an identity for a saboteur. {56936}{57028}The Institute of Reclamation|wanted a character without a history {57032}{57118}to represent them at the repeal|of the European Landscape Bill. {57122}{57188}By assuming the name|and identity of Dermontier {57191}{57281}it might have been easier for Falleur|to obtain a pilot's licence. {57285}{57363}Apparently, according|to Falleur- Dermontier's wife, {57366}{57421}her husband|could be identified by a grid {57426}{57521}tattooed, branded or otherwise|marked on the palm of his right hand. {57525}{57593}The grid corresponded|to the window of room 22 {57596}{57635}of The Crane Hotel, Guernsey {57638}{57710}where the �5,000 in used notes|had been exchanged. {57745}{57840}The VUE Commission offered|Falleur- Dermontier's wife anonymity, {57844}{57914}but after perusing the possibilities,|she declined. {57963}{57998}Erek Fallfree. {58002}{58107}Use of biographical material|owned exclusively by Crow Films. {58554}{58665}14 passenger trains a day stopped|at Diss Railway Station, in Suffolk. {58703}{58804}With the eight trains that stopped on|a Sunday, that made 92 trains a week, {58807}{58881}the number of presently known|VUE languages. {58947}{59013}With bank holidays|and without cancellations, {59016}{59077}Thomax Fallfresh,|the Diss stationmaster, {59081}{59164}could expect 4,730 trains a year. {59239}{59315}Thomax was waiting|for the 100,000th train. {59332}{59429}That was the number he had formally|agreed to see through Diss Station {59433}{59513}before he returned to Wales|and the Dovey Valley. {59516}{59574}It was a promise|he'd made first to his wife {59578}{59627}who disliked flat East Anglia. {59631}{59713}Secondly to British Rail|who employed him on a VUE contract, {59717}{59756}and only thirdly to himself. {59782}{59875}He personally somewhat feared|a return to a landscape of mountains {59879}{59955}where the VUE had afflicted him|with partial deafness, {59958}{60044}a loss of balance on any gradient|greater than one metre in 200, {60048}{60143}and pigeon toes that were slowly|and appreciably growing whiter. {60216}{60259}Thomax, Jamaican by birth, {60263}{60349}found his body was slowly|developing random white patches. {60353}{60417}It was a source of amusement|to his Welsh wife. {60421}{60497}His doctor's first diagnosis|was Caucasian Empathy, {60501}{60600}but that was cancelled when Thomax's|wife, to her delight and hilarity, {60603}{60679}discovered other colour changes|on her husband's body. {60683}{60745}Medical tests detected|small, dilute traces {60749}{60827}of carotin and melanin,|dionin and ri- melanin, {60830}{60904}pigments responsible|for the colouring in feathers. {61123}{61212}For now, an orthodox|British Rail stationmaster's uniform {61216}{61280}would hide the transformation|from his staff, {61283}{61367}but Thomax wondered|how soon he could find a way out. {61371}{61480}Which would come quickest,|albinoism, a skin of many colours {61483}{61534}or the 100,000th train? {61537}{61570}All three alternatives {61574}{61665}would mean him crossing the line|into areas he didn't want to go. {61738}{61820}Zachia Fallgillot. Biography|ex- directory on medical advice {61823}{61880}due to subject's allergy|to public exposure. {61908}{61943}Joyan Fallicory. {61946}{62018}Error. Fallicory is the name|of a place, not a person. {62021}{62103}For biography of Tender Joyan,|see VUE Directory under Joy. {62373}{62437}Bird Gaspara Fallicutt,|born Gaspara Gekle, {62440}{62520}met her husband, Obsian Fallicutt,|in the Air Force Cinema {62524}{62569}at Birdlip near Gloucester, {62573}{62657}when she was translating|the Starfighter 143 flight manual {62660}{62740}from the VUE language|Hapaxlegomena into French. {62763}{62889}Their common interest was not|strictly films, but aero engines. {62928}{62988}The Raven, Kes, {62992}{63074}The Two- Headed Eagle,|Only Angels Have Wings. {63228}{63294}Gaspara widened Obsian's|interest in films, {63297}{63391}weaned him off documentaries,|and introduced him to feature films. {63395}{63459}But Obsian's enthusiasm|remained desultory {63462}{63534}until he saw The Birds|by AJ Hitchcock. {63565}{63626}Caged Heat, Blackbird... {63630}{63694}Gaspara is registered|in the VUE Directory {63697}{63788}as an accredited sufferer|of Dreams- of- Water, Category Three, {63792}{63880}usually illustrated by the|ripple sequence from Draining Away {63884}{63956}by Mazy Reynard and Shey Talbot. {64108}{64178}Gaspara's mother drowned|in a ship's swimming pool {64182}{64254}on a VUE benefit cruise|in the Indian Ocean. {64359}{64487}Sparrows Can't Sing, Wings,|Three Days of the Condor... {64490}{64581}Gaspara's medical history|also makes mention of apr�s- radiance, {64585}{64702}petagium fellitis and haemophilia.|She spoke seven minor VUE languages {64706}{64801}and was generally employed|as a linguist and as an interpreter. {64805}{64896}Jonathan Livingstone Seagull,|The Owl and the Pussycat... {64900}{64927}In her spare time, {64931}{65005}she checked foreign- language versions|of IRR films {65008}{65088}and did unpaid translation work|for the VUE Commission. {65280}{65381}Where Eagles Dare, Yellow Canary... {65424}{65459}When her husband, Obsian, {65463}{65560}became deeply involved in researching|the filmic origins of the VUE, {65563}{65684}Gaspara grew unsympathetic and|began to share a great deal of time {65688}{65739}with the archivist, Algaris Bardin. {65743}{65770}Four Feathers... {65774}{65840}She is helping him|prepare a French version... {65843}{65861}The Birds... {65865}{65947}...of his Catalogue|of Bird Film Titles. {65950}{66053}Will Mr Tulse Luper please|pick up a telephone? Thank you. {66339}{66444}Obsian Fallicutt had a theory that|the VUE was an expensive hoax {66448}{66524}perpetrated by AJ Hitchcock|to give some credibility {66528}{66625}to the unsettling and unsatisfactory|ending of his film The Birds. {66628}{66723}Obsian is registered as a speaker|of Katan with a six- part heart. {66727}{66832}Like his wife, he is a sufferer|of Dreams- of- Water, Category Three. {66892}{66972}Obsian is also allergic|to direct sunlight, {66976}{67062}a disability alleviated|by his obsession with the cinema {67066}{67132}which normally keeps him|safely in the dark. {67156}{67236}After seeing The Birds one wet|afternoon in a Leeds cinema, {67240}{67316}Obsian left his job|as a designer of artificial horizons {67320}{67392}and joined a film laboratory|as an optical engineer {67395}{67465}to examine closely|the technical expertise needed {67469}{67520}to produce cinematic illusion. {67628}{67717}With his wife, he plunged into|a thorough programme of research, {67721}{67804}viewing all the ornithological film|material he could find, {67808}{67896}not missing a reference,|however tenuous, to be fully equipped {67900}{67976}to make a definitive examination|of Hitchcock's film. {68016}{68061}He visited the Lleyn Peninsula, {68064}{68182}discovering from clues in Hitchcock's|film a farm outside Aberdaron {68186}{68266}called Fay Mar, the name|of the boat in the Hitchcock film {68269}{68333}where the first bird attack|had taken place. {68336}{68406}The farm was run|by an American Holiday Consortium {68409}{68524}traceable to a Minneapolis Hospital,|and then to the Hitchcock Estate. {68527}{68587}Becoming|an accomplished bird identifier, {68591}{68636}there was one species in the film {68640}{68702}which Obsian|had always failed to identify. {68706}{68772}It looked like a hybrid|of rook and seagull. {68775}{68824}Obsian christened it an Alfred {68828}{68904}and hoping for a response|from the Hitchcock estate, {68908}{68991}he wrote off asking if this|composite bird owed its existence {68995}{69079}to the specifications of the director|or a property manager. {69083}{69157}After a delay he was answered|by a scriptwriter's wife {69161}{69231}that her husband|could not answer any questions, {69235}{69311}having seriously suffered|from the effects of the VUE, {69314}{69419}but she knew that the bird had been|given a Latin title in the studios, {69423}{69485}Corvus frugilegus atlanticus. {69496}{69570}She added that her husband|went to the Lleyn Peninsula {69573}{69610}to look for locations. {69614}{69709}She intimated that Obsian|ought to continue his research. {69713}{69818}Encouraged, Obsian now spent all|his free time pursuing his theory. {69821}{69922}Using the laboratory facilities, he|began to build up an illicit library {69925}{69983}of films with ornithological themes. {69987}{70053}And he instituted|an elaborate frame count {70056}{70171}with a new 35mm copy of The Birds.|Obsian worked such long hours, {70175}{70241}Gaspara thought|he was being blackmailed by FOX, {70245}{70315}the Society|For Ornithological Extermination, {70318}{70412}and suggested he might like to|change his name to avoid persecution. {70416}{70510}Obsian, amused, said it was too late|to contemplate such a deception {70514}{70596}for it was obvious by now|that he was being closely watched. {70599}{70626}Two years ago, {70630}{70706}Obsian began visiting|California without his wife, {70709}{70796}and six months ago, applied for|a permanent resident's permit. {70800}{70870}He is now living in|a luxurious apartment at Bel Air, {70874}{70946}ostensibly receiving|an income from his editorship {70949}{71008}of a screen magazine|called The Hoopoe, {71012}{71115}whose rare issues are concerned|with birds in feature film making. {71155}{71272}Gaspara has discovered this magazine|is financed by the Hitchcock estate. {71415}{71456}Wrallis Fallinway. {71459}{71545}Typing error for Wrallis Fallanway.|See Biography 13. {71926}{72019}Ashile Fallko, like Marat,|died in his bath. {72087}{72163}Novelist, historian|and ornithological journalist, {72166}{72232}Fallko got into this bath|about 11 pm, June 13th, {72236}{72293}on the night|of the Violent Unknown Event, {72297}{72375}and was still in it on the 17th,|four days and nights later, {72379}{72440}a total of some 93 hours. {72444}{72518}Severely paralysed,|speechless and incontinent, {72521}{72582}he was discovered by accident|by a looter. {72645}{72744}Admitted to hospital suffering from|exposure, congested lungs, shock {72747}{72800}and a rapidly developing skin eczema, {72804}{72909}Ashile Fallko was slow to recover|as he was slow to dry out. {72912}{72955}The Directory declared him to be {72959}{73029}a middle- aged female man|speaking Ringer. {73106}{73203}Against medical advice, Ashile|insisted on returning to his flat. {73206}{73243}He began to document his case {73246}{73314}and then the case histories|of other VUE patients, {73317}{73378}to lobby for recognition|of their condition {73382}{73441}and to persuade|international cooperation {73445}{73542}to put aside funds for|the rehabilitation of VUE victims. {73687}{73790}Since his skin eczema was eased|by submersion in warm salt water, {73794}{73911}he dictated most of his letters,|articles and stories from his bath. {73915}{73985}Every room in the flat,|including this bathroom, {73989}{74084}was equipped with a microphone|wired to a tape recorder in the hall. {74118}{74145}It is said of Fallko {74149}{74254}that if the VUE had not happened,|then Fallko would have invented it. {74258}{74336}A furious scourge|and a shrill critic of institutions, {74339}{74392}Ashile hounded the VUE Commission {74396}{74491}and succeeded in getting|five directors removed or dismissed, {74495}{74555}and it is reported|he developed a strong case {74559}{74666}against Van Hoyten and FOX, and was|waiting for an opportunity to use it. {74683}{74769}Over a period of six years,|he employed over 30 secretaries, {74773}{74845}most of whom left,|complaining of the workload, {74849}{74901}the crowds in this bathroom,|the smell {74905}{74973}or Fallko's|emotional and physical demands. {74977}{75045}Fallko was periodically|readmitted to hospital {75049}{75133}suffering from exhaustion,|depression or scalding. {75232}{75300}Persuaded into the role|of a contemporary Marat, {75304}{75396}Fallko only needed a zealous|executioner and a celebrated painter {75400}{75451}to complete the necessary cycle. {75556}{75618}The execution|he had to commit himself. {75622}{75719}It was said that FOX had finally|trapped him in a technical hypocrisy. {75722}{75816}The suicide weapon appears|to have been a two- bar electric fire {75820}{75909}and the images for posterity|were taken by a police photographer. {75913}{75971}The bathroom|being wired for dictation, {75975}{76028}the equipment recorded|a last message. {76032}{76067}(scream) {76070}{76105}A message as poignant {76108}{76192}as anything written with a pen|which was also a feather. {76437}{76538}Agostina Fallmutt had started off|her career as the official biographer {76541}{76635}of Dr Frederich Karl Haberlein,|the medical officer of Pappenheim, {76639}{76709}the reputed discoverer|of the first fossil remains {76713}{76777}of the primitive reptile bird|archaeopteryx. {76780}{76848}On the title page|of the biography she had written {76882}{76966}Which of the two following objects|were blown away in a gale {76970}{77023}and drowned|in the Solnhofen Lake: {77026}{77088}Dr Frederich Haberlein|or archaeopteryx? {77117}{77209}At the time of publication, this|enigmatic inference was ignored. {77213}{77314}The biography in its first edition|never sold more than 500 copies. {77318}{77396}Agostina quietly continued|to teach biology at Torquay, {77400}{77480}spending weekends|collecting material from the beach {77483}{77530}to make collages for her friends. {77534}{77639}Then Agostina wrote an article for|the WSPB's journal, The Rooster, {77642}{77710}reconstructing|an imaginary conversation {77714}{77803}between the two involuntary|iconoclasts of Oxford University {77807}{77881}who destroyed|one of the last dodo specimens. {77885}{77959}The traditionally dour readers|were amused, {77962}{78046}and she was invited to speak|at ornithological meetings {78050}{78110}and be interviewed|for local television. {78131}{78228}Her ability to combine wit|and avian blasphemy made her popular {78232}{78275}and her publishers printed {78278}{78354}a second edition|of her Haberlein biography. {78357}{78435}The debate about bird origins|was taken up on a wider front {78439}{78515}and the enigmatic question|on the title page of the book {78518}{78635}became a shorthand and convenient|way of summing up the complex issue. {78672}{78759}Agostina Fallmutt|was diagnosed as a female woman, {78763}{78831}officially speaking Antoneen. {78834}{78915}She was treated for mild epilepsy,|high blood pressure {78919}{78987}and was advised|to take frequent rests. {78991}{79100}She suffered from phantom pregnancies|like Mary the First of England, {79104}{79265}whose Portrait with a Parrot was|pasted on Agostina's bathroom mirror. {79269}{79389}Soon after the VUE, the hardier areas|of skin on Agostina's body, {79393}{79504}on the fingertips, palms|of her hands, soles of her feet, {79508}{79625}further hardened and new- toughened|skin appeared on her elbows, {79629}{79726}knees and ankles which|coruscated just above the elbows {79730}{79785}into protuberant gristle. {79811}{79891}Agostina took to wearing|loose- sleeved blouses {79894}{79968}which kept|the contours of her elbows hidden. {79989}{80057}She gave no evidence|that she was distressed {80061}{80154}or unduly concerned|by these unusual features. {80158}{80244}They may have influenced|a pamphlet she later published {80248}{80351}on avian cobs, wattles,|wens and casques. {80355}{80456}With her change in fortune, Agostina|went to Australia to study ratites, {80460}{80518}flightless birds|like the kiwi and the emu, {80522}{80623}and more importantly, to research|the fossil record of their ancestors. {80626}{80714}Agostina's French mechanic|in Adelaide named her La Solitaire {80718}{80780}on account of|the Ionely safaris she took, {80784}{80870}driving in a battered Land Rover|she called The Goatsucker. {80874}{80944}La solitaire was also|an extinct flightless pigeon {80948}{81049}that had lived uniquely on the island|of Rodriguez in the Indian Ocean. {81052}{81106}It was described by Fran�ois Leguat {81110}{81169}as having round masses|of bone on each wing, {81173}{81253}enabling the cock birds|to inflict damage on their rivals. {81257}{81362}Agostina must have been aware of the|coincidence but never remarked on it. {81365}{81485}Agostina camped for 17 months without|human contact in the Bar- She cave {81489}{81559}near Lake Te- Anin|on South Island, New Zealand, {81563}{81651}where a colony of notorni,|a ratite long believed to be extinct, {81655}{81725}had unexpectedly turned up in 1948. {81729}{81849}It was from this cave Agostina wrote|out her theory of ratite revenge. {81853}{81921}Ousted by greed and ignorance|on the part of man, {81924}{82031}the ratites were attempting|a return to their former supremacy. {82035}{82101}They had perpetrated|the Violent Unknown Event {82104}{82174}to transform man himself|into a ratite. {82186}{82293}When her thesis was published, not by|the WSPB who thought it ridiculous, {82297}{82384}Agostina was pilloried,|and on a number of different levels. {82388}{82485}Her landlady sought a court order to|get her out of her flat in Torquay, {82488}{82538}the paperboy burnt her newspapers, {82542}{82606}her grocer accused her|of stealing egg powder {82609}{82670}and her publisher withheld royalties. {82674}{82768}Agostina began driving her Land Rover|in circles on the Torbay beach {82772}{82829}until that too was forbidden|by the police {82833}{82909}who impounded the vehicle|to search it for pornography. {82913}{82963}At the onset of a phantom pregnancy, {82967}{83070}Agostina took to staying indoors in|the daytime to avoid further calumny. {83074}{83121}She went walking at night. {83146}{83249}The persecution ended tragically, for|her body was eventually discovered {83253}{83309}in a boat- and- tackle hut|at Teignmouth. {83313}{83406}It was difficult to establish foul|play, so the verdict was ascribed {83410}{83480}to delayed effects|of the Violent Unknown Event. {83497}{83550}This one. {83593}{83665}The next two biographies|have been blue- pencilled {83668}{83719}by the Bird Foundation Industries. {83723}{83817}Biography 72, ostensibly because|it dealt with rival sponsorship, {83834}{83918}and Biography 73, because|Cottes Fallope, cartographer, {83922}{83979}had been|caught in an act of trespass. {83983}{84032}However, there is reason to suppose {84035}{84116}both biographies were|curtailed because of their length. {84120}{84217}It is intended to publish them later|with other suspended biographies {84220}{84308}if not in a subsequent edition of|The Falls, then under separate cover. {84562}{84605}Capercaillie, {84609}{84654}lammergeyer, {84658}{84707}cassowary, {84759}{84794}accentor, {84808}{84843}dowitcher, {84862}{84888}dotterel, {84912}{84955}bobolink, {84958}{84997}gargeny, {85012}{85051}pratincol, {85055}{85104}phalarope, {85108}{85138}sanderling... {85142}{85196}Before the Violent Unknown Event, {85200}{85270}Pollie Fallory|did indifferent bird imitations. {85291}{85363}She had impersonated|a nightingale for 27 nights {85368}{85425}in a play called|The Little Green Finches, {85429}{85493}and she played a budgerigar|with clipped wings {85496}{85562}in a film called|The Reluctant Singer. {85616}{85667}Capercaillie, {85671}{85718}lammergeyer, {85721}{85760}cassowary... {85763}{85839}Her act was accompanied|by random fluttering gestures {85843}{85919}and the habit of singing|through an almost closed mouth. {85923}{85958}When she employed an agent {85962}{86054}he would always be telling her to|open her mouth and freeze her arms. {86067}{86118}Pochard, {86122}{86169}serin, {86172}{86217}siskin, {86221}{86270}thrasher, {86273}{86316}whimbrel, {86320}{86367}whinchat, {86370}{86418}willet, {86422}{86465}junco, {86468}{86515}gooney, {86519}{86556}fulmar... {86559}{86621}After the Violent Unknown Event, {86625}{86709}Pollie Fallory spoke|Mickel- ease or Mickel. {86713}{86814}It was a language full of|alliteration, sudden turns of speech, {86818}{86921}high registers, changes in volume|and unexpected silences {86924}{87033}in which the speaker took prolonged|and exaggerated breaths. {87036}{87106}Waiting for the next syllable|in Mickle- ease {87109}{87204}was like waiting for a child|to scream after a fall. {87248}{87328}Pollie quickly assumed|a command of Mickle- ease {87332}{87396}that stretched|the human tongue and voice box {87399}{87527}to influence the language of animals|rather than the other way around. {87531}{87576}... loon, {87579}{87618}rail, {87621}{87644}scaup... {87648}{87729}In a belated response to|the badgering of her former agents, {87733}{87824}Pollie's body now stood rigid when|she sang and remained that way, {87828}{87931}ideally unaccompanied by|the slightest facial or body gesture. {87935}{87984}Capercaillie, {87987}{88032}lammergeyer, {88036}{88092}cassowary... {88129}{88226}Except for an occasional patient|smile, she indicated with her body {88230}{88353}as little as possible|that might reflect on her speech. {88357}{88408}She was persuaded to relearn English {88411}{88489}to reach and recruit a larger|ornithological audience, {88492}{88545}to add the VUE anthem|to her repertoire {88548}{88634}and to make a definitive version|of the Bird List Song. {88638}{88747}Pollie became a raconteur.|She also did woman imitations. {88751}{88786}Capercaillie, {88789}{88839}lammergeyer, {88843}{88884}cassowary... {89126}{89210}The Violent Unknown Event|had partially paralysed the face {89214}{89311}of Afracious Fallows, enlarged|his heart, thumbs and genitals, {89314}{89394}made him scrofulous,|softened and widened his feet {89397}{89485}and thoroughly wrecked his career|as a school headmaster. {89500}{89576}Afracious regularly sought|to relieve his depression {89579}{89657}by driving a stolen car round|a traffic island in Abersoch {89661}{89737}until the petrol ran out|or he was stopped by the police. {89740}{89808}He made a living through|petty thieving, mimicry, {89812}{89915}Latin lessons, car stealing,|bird identification and prostitution. {89919}{89958}His greatest source of pride {89961}{90060}was being secretary of the Abersoch|Audubon Ornithological Society {90064}{90154}and his rented beach house at Cappis|Sand housed sick seabirds, {90158}{90205}incompetent efforts at taxidermy {90209}{90302}and eccentric systems of bird|classification of his own invention. {90306}{90391}Afracious strongly identified|with Linnaeus and the hoopoe. {90395}{90454}Three years ago,|accused of embezzlement, {90458}{90550}he was unanimously dismissed|from the Abersoch Audubon Society. {90554}{90632}To display his rancour|and his erudition in one gesture, {90635}{90688}he spent the 13th anniversary|of the VUE {90692}{90752}stealing from beach houses|at Cappis Sand {90756}{90828}owned by members|of the Abersoch Audubon Society {90831}{90874}who were not VUE victims. {90934}{90989}He stole an umbrella|from The Homestead, {90993}{91043}property of Mr Herbert Armada. {91047}{91123}A pair of plimsolls,|size eight, from Orinoco, {91126}{91169}owned by Mr and Mrs C Fretcalfe. {91172}{91254}A pair of underpants|from an unnamed beach house, {91258}{91295}owned by Mr Harris Rippley. {91299}{91371}A second pair of plimsolls,|size five, from Oleander, {91375}{91408}owned by Mrs Lily Armada. {91434}{91510}An anorak|from an unnamed property. {91513}{91577}A pair of earrings|from the unnamed property, {91581}{91674}of Mrs Freda Baal, who at the time|of the robbery was Mrs Freda Cowls. {91678}{91752}A third pair of plimsolls|from The Polyanna, {91755}{91800}property of Mrs N Ipositan. {91804}{91918}A black full- length overcoat from|The Ole, belonging to Mr G Odfrey. {91922}{91986}A fourth pair of plimsolls,|child's size six, {91989}{92090}from the unnamed beach house,|belonging to Mr C Unrodriguez. {92094}{92195}And a pair of brown shoes,|size eight, from Endview, {92198}{92251}owned by Mr and Mrs Stewupsson. {92289}{92390}The Latin title Upupa Epops|and the English name of the hoopoe {92393}{92512}are spelt out by the initials of the|stolen items and the beach houses. {92516}{92580}If the responsibility|was still in any doubt {92583}{92682}the initials of the owners of|the beach houses spell out Afracious. {92685}{92761}Additional anagrams,|and acrostics are fanciful. {92765}{92857}Once put on the track the Abersoch|detectives could not be held back. {92886}{92956}Afracious was easily caught,|as he intended to be. {92959}{92983}He pleaded guilty {92987}{93065}and asked for 27 other offences|to be taken into account. {93068}{93146}He was imprisoned for three years|and released after two, {93150}{93230}earning remission for|permitting his mouth to be reshaped {93234}{93287}the better to learn Hartileas B. {93462}{93571}Hearty Fallparco is at present solely|represented by this snippet of film. {93585}{93679}Reputedly he is the boy|in glasses holding the eagle. {93683}{93776}After a night of vomiting and|epilepsy, the VUE Directory notes {93780}{93866}his destruction on the morning|of the Event at Tampa, Florida, {93870}{93938}by a hurricane christened|by the weather station {93941}{93971}as Birdie Number One. {94570}{94675}(recites "Tweedledum|and Tweedledee" in French) {94747}{94836}Sallis Fallpinio, children's|broadcaster in five languages, {94840}{94910}visited Fountains Abbey,|near Ripon, Yorkshire, {94914}{94988}in the afternoon prior|to the Violent Unknown Event. {95307}{95439}Sometime between 4:12 and 4:25,|along with some 310 other people, {95442}{95528}Sallis walked in front|of the Temple of Piety. {95560}{95671}A carrion crow sat on an oak|Watching a tailor shape his cloak. {95675}{95784}"Wife," cried he, "bring me my bow|That l may shoot yon carrion crow." {95787}{95867}Subsequently, along with|those 310 afternoon visitors, {95870}{95948}Sallis suffered from|petagium fellitis, loss of weight, {95952}{96038}an ability to speak and write|Cathaganian in its prime version {96042}{96120}and an involuntary paralysis,|intermittent and sudden, {96124}{96225}locking the lower limbs in a stance|that could persist for 40 minutes. {96229}{96290}There was a little man|and he had a little gun, {96294}{96358}And his bullets were made|of lead, lead, lead. {96362}{96420}He went to the brook|and shot a little duck {96424}{96496}Right through the middle|of the head, head, head. {96499}{96575}Sallis took a photograph|of the grounds at about 4:15. {96579}{96651}Her aunt is there,|along with a friend of the family. {96654}{96720}The closer to the temple|the visitors wandered, {96723}{96799}the greater their subsequent|Cathaganian vocabulary {96802}{96849}and the greater their weight loss. {96853}{96929}At a range of 400 yards,|a visitor could later command {96933}{97013}a vocabulary of some|17,000 Cathaganian words {97016}{97102}and normally suffered a weight loss|of about a stone and a half. {97106}{97191}An approach of under 50 yards|meant a debilitating weight loss {97195}{97254}requiring constant|hospital attention. {97258}{97332}As l went over the water,|the water went over me. {97335}{97411}L saw two little blackbirds|sitting on a tree. {97414}{97484}One called me a rascal,|one called me a thief. {97487}{97586}And l took up my little black stick|and knocked out all their teeth. {97616}{97719}Sallis, collector of nursery rhymes,|playground songs and folklore, {97723}{97797}believed in the Theory|of the Responsibility of Birds {97800}{97882}and was not surprised in the|least at the VUE's malevolence, {97885}{97955}knowing the traditional|antipathy and antagonism {97959}{98058}of man towards birds that begins|its propaganda in the nursery. {98062}{98117}"Oh what have you got|for dinner, Mrs Bond?" {98121}{98187}"There's beef in the larder|and ducks on the pond." {98190}{98254}"Dilly- dilly, dilly- dilly,|come to be killed." {98258}{98326}"For you must be stuffed|and my customers filled." {98637}{98721}Crasstranger Fallqueue knew|both meanings of "flight" {98725}{98813}having had to escape|from vehement political persecution {98817}{98867}by hijacking a plane. {98871}{98941}Variously disguised|as an acrobat who juggled eggs {98945}{99033}and as a blind ornithologist, he|eventually made a home in Wales {99037}{99086}and settled on the Lleyn Peninsula. {99090}{99140}The VUE is now his persecutor. {99208}{99288}Crasstranger could have|flown the aircraft he hijacked. {99292}{99370}It could be said that his family|had prepared him for it. {99374}{99450}They experienced a fair share|of underplanned flying {99453}{99533}mostly unwillingly,|from tenth- storey prison windows. {99537}{99603}It wasn't too difficult|to make defenestration {99607}{99664}look like ambitious mimicry of birds. {99687}{99794}The family passion for aeronautics|was a useful cover for assassination. {99860}{99940}Crasstranger's grandfather,|a language schoolteacher, {99944}{100031}earned the first Slovak degree|in aeronautical engineering {100035}{100113}and had pursued a wish|to fill the skies with aircraft, {100127}{100226}a wish that was only fulfilled|by his pupils on Saturday afternoons. {100313}{100420}Crasstranger's uncles had outwitted|one another in flying stunts, {100423}{100493}and his father,|developing a motorised parachute, {100497}{100563}littered his speech|with artificial sibilants {100566}{100646}to encourage lightness of body|by the lightness of speech. {100650}{100736}Crasstranger considered his|father's linguistic mannerisms {100740}{100843}were a worthwhile course to develop|in any attempt to identify with birds {100846}{100971}and he urged VUE victims to express|themselves by singing, not flying. {100975}{101057}He now earned his living|as an aeronautical journalist {101060}{101097}and as a flight historian. {101100}{101176}His knowledge of the facts|and feats of air pioneering {101180}{101221}were rarely contested. {101279}{101361}He knew that the man who|threw himself off the Eiffel tower {101365}{101472}in April 1911 was not the patriot|airman Nathan Isole Dermontier, {101476}{101542}nor the Welsh baritone|called Van Riquardt, {101545}{101635}but was an Austrian clothing|manufacturer called Reichelt {101639}{101713}testing a parachute- coat|of his own design. {101730}{101823}Any amount of historical inaccuracy,|misguided heroic identity {101827}{101922}and misrepresentation could not|disguise what was for Crasstranger {101926}{102023}a supreme example of the folly|of aspiring to emulate the birds. {102250}{102311}Romanese Fallracce|was struck by lightning {102315}{102362}in the early hours of June 13th {102366}{102421}in the year|of the Violent Unknown Event. {102706}{102798}Fallracce, singer, arborealist,|community organiser, {102802}{102886}spent most summer weekends|with her husband and her two sons, {102889}{102947}camping in and around|the Black Forest. {102951}{103041}On the evening of the VUE,|the Fallracces had pitched two tents {103045}{103119}at an approved camping site|near Villingen. {103122}{103217}After a quarrel with her husband,|Romanese slept in the family car, {103221}{103272}and at about six in the morning, {103276}{103352}she was woken by rain|drumming on the car roof. {103356}{103411}To loosen the guy ropes|on her sons' tent, {103415}{103509}Romanese left the safety of|the car and was struck by lightning. {103706}{103778}Onlookers said that|for five seconds or more, {103782}{103858}Romanese's scarlet anorak|appeared to shine brightly {103861}{103910}as though illuminated from inside. {103913}{103973}Romanese then fell|into a sitting position, {103977}{104057}and finally flopped over|into the drenched pine- needles. {104061}{104160}The pattern of her underclothes was|stencilled in burn marks on her body {104164}{104219}and the metal in her brassiere|had melted {104223}{104305}and spattered small|burn marks down her back. {104309}{104381}She was rushed to|a casualty department at Freiburg, {104385}{104513}where she recovered to find herself a|victim of the Violent Unknown Event. {104665}{104774}A Freiburg newspaper singled her out|as a special victim of the VUE {104777}{104863}and Romanese herself did little|to put the record straight. {104866}{104893}She grew to believe {104897}{104977}it had been the very essence|of the VUE that had struck her. {104980}{105029}She became a Bavarian celebrity. {105168}{105271}With her husband and her two sons,|and a growing band of adherents, {105274}{105377}Romanese visited the site of her|lightning strike every June 13th. {105380}{105479}Six years after the Event, she was|still introduced at VUE functions {105483}{105547}as the woman who was struck|by VUE lightning. {105569}{105649}The VUE victims in her audience|took a certain comfort {105652}{105705}from seeing Romanese|naked to the waist {105709}{105808}standing on a rostrum talking|confidently about her experiences. {105812}{105913}They could believe that the VUE was|comprehensible as an electric shock, {105916}{105961}random in its choice of victim, {105964}{106023}arbitrary in the scale|of damage it could do {106027}{106082}and bizarre|in its peripheral effects. {106086}{106160}They were conveniently,|if erroneously, reminded {106163}{106241}that lightning was supposed|never to strike twice. {106244}{106341}By Romanese's example, they were|thus immune from future disaster. {106360}{106455}There was the explanation of|the VUE's immortality characteristic, {106459}{106568}to be immortal was synonymous with|being immune to lightning strike. {106875}{106928}The mild idolatry|accorded to Romanese {106932}{107021}was encouraged by her husband.|Her sons were less convinced. {107025}{107116}Especially when she developed|symptoms like a loss of memory {107120}{107200}and outbreaks of uncontrollable grief|that shook her body {107204}{107272}and dangerously lowered|her temperature. {107276}{107360}Last year, Romanese's name|was entered in the VUE Directory, {107364}{107453}as a middle- aged female woman|speaking Candoese {107457}{107527}and suffering from|intermittent nervous collapse {107531}{107574}and involuntary hypothermia. {107577}{107653}She refused to visit|the site of her lightning strike, {107656}{107730}though her sons|occasionally made the pilgrimage. {107753}{107829}Rapid conifer growth|and the cutting of firebreaks {107832}{107918}have increasingly made|the local geography unfamiliar. {108248}{108285}Ascrib Fallstaff. {108288}{108385}Pernicious inclusion of fictional|character. Criminal charge pending. {108550}{108616}At an open- air concert|at Phoenix, Arizona, {108619}{108693}Armeror Fallstag is reputed|by his fans and promoters {108696}{108809}to have flown 310 metres, and they|are not speaking metaphorically. {108812}{108853}Is it true, Armeror Fallstag, {108856}{108930}that when you flew for the first time|you were airsick? {108933}{108991}(speaks French) {109040}{109157}All fledglings on their first flight|regurgitate their food. {109161}{109200}Did you use feathers? {109259}{109298}No way. {109302}{109360}How far did you fly that first time? {109463}{109521}However far it was, it was certain... {109525}{109591}It is thought Armeror|could have flown further, {109594}{109648}but he caught his foot in railings... {109652}{109685}Did you fly near the sun? {109688}{109746}...and was pulled down by the crowd. {109750}{109773}No way. {109777}{109831}How about night flying? {109835}{109942}He came regularly to Britain|to visit all the accredited VUE sites {109945}{110009}and a lot of the unaccredited ones|as well. {110012}{110097}L find it difficult to judge|any distance from the ground. {110101}{110154}What do you do|about landing in the dark? {110158}{110242}Armeror was a generous donor|and had made speculative plans {110246}{110326}with an American Foundation|to purchase Bardsey Island {110329}{110455}as a sanctuary and last resting place|for severely afflicted VUE victims. {110459}{110512}Is it true|what they say about flight? {110515}{110556}He was not as yet successful, {110559}{110639}though in anticipation|of eventual entombment on Bardsey {110643}{110767}many VUE victims were buried in|mainland cemeteries near the island. {110771}{110843}Wings indeed. You don't need to die. {110846}{110934}What are your opinions|about powered flight? {111003}{111061}It was a wrong turning. {111065}{111162}Do you think that the Wright Brothers|are to be praised or cursed? {111288}{111387}The Wright Brothers should have|stayed put and made bicycles. {111391}{111445}Originally intent|on an academic career {111449}{111529}rewriting Victorian novels|with the benefit of hindsight, {111533}{111618}he was side- tracked by an interest|in music to make a fortune, {111622}{111719}which he sunk into property, literary|ephemera and psychic drawings. {111722}{111848}On the whole, fine flying birds|have negligible walking ability {111852}{111924}and it is not easy|to empathise with an ostrich. {111928}{112023}Do you believe it was Haberlein|who discovered archaeopteryx? {112132}{112169}No way. {112172}{112267}With the advent of the VUE,|he began to collect VUE artefacts {112271}{112349}and is now negotiating to buy|the fossil archaeopteryx {112352}{112420}found by Dr Haberlein|in the Solnhofen Lake. {112424}{112529}It is presently the property of the|Natural History Museum in London. {112532}{112635}This fossil was sold to the British|Museum by Haberlein in 1862 {112639}{112698}to provide a dowry|for his eldest daughter {112702}{112776}and is the subject|of Fallstag's best- selling record {112779}{112818}Abigail and the Early Bird. {112822}{112881}Yet he was eminently a failure|was he not? {113120}{113245}What's your opinion about the Theory|of the Responsibility of Birds? {113381}{113488}The imagery of birds|is vast and unlimiting. {113491}{113567}You can take what you like... {113571}{113626}Armeror, a sufferer of poor vision {113630}{113733}and taker of Flutinol for intestinal|problems, speaks Foreignester, {113736}{113831}though when he sings, the lyrics|are full of references in French, {113835}{113940}a language he refuses to speak on|account of his animosity to Bl�riot. {113943}{113995}...arranged to meet Tulse Luper at... {113999}{114075}As an American citizen|on a visitor's visa to Britain, {114078}{114154}he is obliged to seek a permit|from the American Embassy {114158}{114219}before realising|a flying project at Dover {114223}{114297}where he hopes, he says,|to further discredit Bl�riot {114301}{114392}who could only fly the English|Channel with the help of an engine. {114481}{114557}One last question, Armeror.|If indeed you can fly, {114560}{114651}why did you use professional aircraft|to get you to Britain? {114855}{114962}- To help exhaust the oil supply.|- Armeror, thank you very much. {115289}{115384}Combayne Fallstoward agreed to meet|us here in the porch of her house. {115388}{115429}So we waited. {115750}{115824}Combayne Fallstoward|was immortally 19. {115827}{115889}It was she who wrote|The Boulders of Flight. {115893}{115938}It was published about the time {115941}{116011}she celebrated her 19th birthday|for the 30th time. {116015}{116109}After its publication, she wore black|and lived with her dog at Merle {116113}{116171}in attempted isolation. {116175}{116234}The house had been owned|in the 19th century {116238}{116320}by the American historian|Austin Carter Scops. {116324}{116374}Scops had two galleries or wings {116378}{116448}built onto the original,|rather prosaic farmhouse {116452}{116539}that he inherited from his|grandmother, and here he displayed {116543}{116625}the badly scarred and fractured|statues of Hermes and Eros, {116629}{116716}that he had acquired from various|European collections. {116720}{116800}It was suggested he stole most|of them from public gardens, {116804}{116901}and the scarring and fracturing was|caused by his unceremonious haste {116904}{116988}in removing them from their niches|and pedestals after dark. {116991}{117073}After his improvements,|Scops had grandly called his house {117077}{117182}The Winged Samothrace in emulation|of that statue now in the Louvre. {117186}{117297}This name was perhaps not unnaturally|accredited to Combayne Fallstoward, {117301}{117393}the house's new occupant,|apparently much to her annoyance, {117397}{117479}but it did not go unnoticed|that she signed her letters {117482}{117569}on more than one occasion|with the initials WS. {117573}{117659}The Directory classified Combayne|as a young female woman {117663}{117743}speaking Untowards|and suffering from timidity. {117930}{118070}11 years ago, a tree on this site was|the subject of an unfinished film. {118073}{118129}The film was made|by Geoffrey Fallthuis, {118133}{118199}student pupil of Tulse Luper,|and at 19, {118203}{118269}the shortest and youngest|of the Luper admirers {118272}{118319}who supported the Luper programme {118323}{118397}for an unassisted|naturally evolving landscape. {118415}{118483}The tree, a wych elm,|had been planted on this site {118487}{118577}on the south bank of the Thames,|when it was the garden of a broker {118581}{118649}who apparently specialised|in importing timber {118652}{118718}for manufacturing|musical instruments. {118722}{118796}Due to coincidences of date,|name and geography, {118800}{118895}Geoffrey Fallthuis chose to structure|the cutting copy of his film {118899}{118963}on Anton Webern's|Five Pieces for Orchestra, {118966}{119061}a choice cemented by the knowledge|that another Schoenberg pupil, {119065}{119139}Hans Eisler,|had composed a work to a tree, {119143}{119207}an oak that had survived|the bombing of Berlin. {119211}{119277}Three months|after his modest film exercise, {119280}{119356}Geoffrey Fallthuis|joined an ecological foundation, {119359}{119421}studied tree culture|and went to America. {119425}{119499}Seven years later, he married|Corntopia Felixchange, {119502}{119594}a soprano who eventually joined|the Metropolitan Opera Company. {119636}{119714}Geoffrey Fallthuis was in Ontario|at the time of the VUE, {119717}{119779}supervising the planting of conifers. {119783}{119884}The VUE gave him a bone- marrow|disease, incipient petagium fellitis {119888}{119973}and a neuralgia that Fallthuis|was able to partly anaesthetise {119977}{120024}with nicotine and aspirin. {121303}{121414}Fallthuis, in acknowledgement|of his VUE disabilities, took a job {121417}{121512}giving him time to travel with his|wife on her singing tours of Europe. {121516}{121609}Eventually his wife was invited|to London to the Royal Festival Hall {121613}{121728}and Fallthuis visited the South Bank|for the first time in 11 years. {121980}{122077}One September evening at dusk,|whilst his wife attended a rehearsal, {122080}{122162}Fallthuis stepped out of this door|to look again at the tree {122165}{122245}which had been the subject|of his last film exercise. {122249}{122280}Much had changed. {122284}{122374}The buildings he had filmed in|their early stages of construction {122378}{122427}were now long completed. {122810}{122849}And the tree had gone. {122853}{122942}Heavily supported by chains|at the time Fallthuis had filmed it, {122946}{123068}the tree became a potential danger|to pedestrians and had been cut down. {123072}{123154}Fallthuis lit a cigar|and walked along this balcony {123158}{123219}to a position|he could not have anticipated {123223}{123280}as a camera position|10 years before. {123284}{123389}While standing about here, no doubt|leaning on the balustrade like this, {123392}{123429}he fell. {123509}{123583}Or he was pushed.|Or he jumped deliberately. {123586}{123676}One witness is on record as saying|that at the time Fallthuis fell, {123680}{123736}there had been a pistol shot. {123740}{123792}Anton Webern had been shot. {123796}{123850}He too had been standing|on a balcony. {123854}{123944}The lighted tip of his cigar had|made him the target after curfew {123948}{124020}for an overzealous|American soldier in 1945. {124023}{124093}The connection|was not lost on Fallthuis's wife. {124097}{124204}She demanded and got an inquiry.|11 witnesses came forward. {124207}{124298}But the evidence was so conflicting|the coroner passed a verdict {124302}{124386}of misadventure abetted|by delayed effects of the VUE. {124536}{124593}Corntopia Felixchange lobbied the IRR {124597}{124665}to provide funds to remake|her late husband's film {124669}{124766}with a new musical structure that|would reflect Webern's Five Pieces {124769}{124823}and provide her with a vocal part. {124827}{124920}The work was to be dedicated|to all VUE victims. {124924}{125006}An early friend of Fallthuis's,|Nye Galibo, {125009}{125106}who appears in this,|the fifth part of the original film, {125109}{125171}generously agreed|to compose the new music. {125193}{125261}As yet neither the IRR|nor any other body {125265}{125335}have come up with the funds|to make Corntopia's film {125339}{125440}and in deference to VUE victims|the music has, in the meantime, {125444}{125545}been used to accompany some|of the VUE biographies in The Falls. {125588}{125627}Insubstantial entry. {125630}{125724}Merriem Falltrick appears only once|in all 14 editions of Directory {125728}{125798}as deaf- mute,|with cerebral palsy and wings. {125831}{125895}Stephany Falltrix|is trying hard to shake off {125898}{125989}the crippling effects and influence|of the VUE on her mind and body {125993}{126083}and argues that the inclusion|of her disabilities in this film {126087}{126144}is not going to help her recovery. {126148}{126222}One of her afflictions|is an allergy to the colour red. {126226}{126286}For the moment,|in lieu of her biography, {126290}{126387}she has presented to the VUE library|as evidence of her determination {126390}{126431}a book of red- painted pages. {126434}{126500}Her slow but steady progress,|which we respect, {126503}{126594}is indicated by the red|pages progressively becoming whiter. {126680}{126758}Tolley Falluger, historian,|classification theorist, {126762}{126830}bird counter|and authority on animal migration, {126834}{126910}normally lives on a boat|in the Bardsey Island Straits. {126913}{126989}He has proposed theories,|for those wishing to believe {126992}{127052}in a concerted effort|on the part of birds, {127056}{127134}to have found a viable|parliament of fowls. {127152}{127242}These have so struck the World|Society for the Protection of Birds {127246}{127297}that they have muzzled him. {127301}{127433}His brother, Vassian, believes Tolley|was sent to the Tasman Archipelago {127436}{127537}to study the Steven's Island wren,|whose entire population was killed {127541}{127636}by a lighthouse keeper's cat|in the first four months of 1894. {127692}{127791}Vassian Falluger long believed|that the Violent Unknown Event {127794}{127893}was a mass hallucination|perpetrated by the WSPB {127897}{127977}on a public who felt guilty|about bird slaughter. {127980}{128069}Then he changed his mind,|or had his mind changed for him. {128168}{128271}His former feelings on the VUE were|prompted both by sibling rivalry, {128274}{128354}his brother being a celebrated,|if censored, enthusiast {128357}{128454}for the Theory of the Responsibility|of Birds, and by his mild symptoms, {128457}{128542}slight ornith- a- graffiti,|a containable petagium fellitis {128546}{128614}and a preference|for travel in spring and autumn. {128810}{128892}Vassian's conversion relied|on two fortuitous events, {128896}{128937}a visit to the Boulder Orchard {128941}{129042}and a present of a facsimile edition|of the Havell Double Elephant Folio {129045}{129099}of Audubon's Birds of America. {129208}{129292}The visit was initially|a professional one. {129296}{129374}He was asked to design the|lettering and take photographs {129378}{129446}for the publicity material|for a new VUE Opera {129449}{129542}that took as its libretto|the names of 92 birds. {129546}{129618}The Folio was given to him|by Allia Fallanx, {129621}{129695}at that time the resident|Boulder Orchard Custodian. {129719}{129787}Vassian saw one phenomenon|reflected in the other {129791}{129874}and considered both of them|to be interchangeable. {129878}{129960}For Falluger,|Audubon had replaced Tulse Luper {129964}{130061}as the Violent Unknown Event's|master strategist and cataloguer. {130092}{130158}With the obsessive enthusiasm|of a true convert, {130162}{130222}Vassian drew and photographed|the Orchard, {130226}{130314}and filmed it on every film stock|he could lay his hands on. {130330}{130375}He taped the Orchard's birdsong, {130379}{130434}yearly counted the leaves|on its 11 trees {130438}{130500}and scrupulously measured|the root growth. {130504}{130588}He calculated the value|of the Orchard's apples in sterling, {130591}{130657}dollars, gold and osprey eggs. {130912}{131011}Vassian claimed he discovered in the|disposition of the rocks and trees {131014}{131080}a system of passageways|that, in miniature, {131083}{131151}matched the pilgrim tracks|of the Lleyn Peninsula {131155}{131264}and the known routes of migrational|birds in the Northern Hemisphere. {131364}{131423}Vassian's programme|for the next ten years {131427}{131486}includes a full- scale model|of the orchard {131490}{131576}recreated in metal and plastic,|an illustrated plant life, {131580}{131658}where he claims the most|successful plants in the orchard {131662}{131745}are the cranesbill, ragged robin|and bird's- foot trefoil, {131749}{131815}and a project to deposit|a handwritten copy {131819}{131932}of the 92 VUE bird names in every|public library in Great Britain. {132127}{132239}At the buzzer, in 30 seconds, name|as many birds as you can think of. {132243}{132276}(buzzer) {132280}{132331}Honey- buzzard, osprey. {132334}{132379}Wren, sparrow, starling. {132383}{132457}Swallow, gull, buzzard. {132460}{132581}Tit, bluetit, coal tit, great tit,|little tit and many others. {132585}{132688}Before the VUE, Erhaus Bewler|Falluper was a master cataloguer, {132692}{132764}an enumerator|and a collector of statistics. {132768}{132838}He inaugurated grand|and extensive projects {132842}{132918}that other less gifted statisticians|completed. {132922}{132961}At the buzzer, in 30 seconds, {132964}{133042}name as many birds as you can|that start with the letter C. {133045}{133115}In the five years before|the Violent Unknown Event, {133118}{133170}amongst other unfinished projects, {133174}{133287}Erhaus conducted 17 surveys about|the state of the public's knowledge {133291}{133347}of natural landscape|and all that was in it. {133351}{133394}At the buzzer, in 30 seconds, {133398}{133478}name as many birds as you can|that start with the letter P. {133481}{133518}- (buzzer)|- Pigeon... {133521}{133576}The value of these surveys|is doubtful. {133580}{133656}The results were erratic|and arbitrarily catalogued. {133659}{133727}True to form,|all 17 incomplete surveys {133730}{133800}have, in various ways,|spawned further projects. {133804}{133841}At the buzzer, in 30 seconds, {133845}{133921}name as many birds as you can|that start with the letter L. {133925}{134014}This particular survey on|bird knowledge is no exception. {134018}{134051}Lark. {134055}{134090}Lark. {134094}{134145}- Linnet.|- Lapwing. {134149}{134176}L can't think of any. {134180}{134221}- Lark.|- Lovebirds. {134224}{134321}What are those things in the zoo|with the... {134324}{134377}- The...|- (buzzer) {134390}{134482}At the buzzer, tell me as much|as you can about the cuckoo. {134486}{134519}(buzzer) {134523}{134587}The cuckoo is about|30 centimetres long. {134591}{134688}Indeed, Falluper's random choice|of interviewees has been borrowed, {134692}{134766}the VUE Commission choosing|people whose surnames, {134769}{134893}like Falluper's own,|begin with the letters FALL. {134897}{134944}Whilst acknowledging his output, {134948}{135028}his detractors accused him|of manufacturing fictions, {135031}{135097}and deliberately|confusing identities, {135100}{135193}also of not knowing the difference|between a good joke and a bad one. {135197}{135220}(buzzer) {135224}{135308}His supporters thought|these accusations were often true, {135311}{135412}but they believed that Falluper's|half- fictions were by- products {135415}{135485}of his compulsion to draw up maps,|index disaster {135488}{135574}and break chaos into small pieces|that he might rearrange them {135578}{135642}in a different way,|perhaps alphabetically. {135646}{135687}...in the penguin family. {135691}{135794}But Falluper's supporters|had no illusions about his jokes. {135797}{135875}They knew he was too serious|to have a sense of humour. {135878}{135935}They come from the Falkland Islands. {135939}{136007}Falluper asked his questions|of 41 people. {136010}{136124}In the VUE Directory, there were|exactly double that number of persons {136128}{136219}whose surnames|began with the letters FALL. {136223}{136297}Of the 41 persons|Falluper interviewed, {136301}{136369}seven were to become|VUE victims. {136372}{136471}These seven, like Falluper himself|now speak Abcadefghan, {136474}{136571}have superlative night vision,|are welcomed at children's parties, {136574}{136650}can whistle well, fear flying,|loathe the FOX {136653}{136752}and inaugurate projects that others|less gifted invariably complete. {136755}{136794}- Curlew.|- Black crow. {136797}{136834}- Swallow.|- Sparrow. {136838}{136862}Jackdaw. {136941}{136961}(buzzer) {136965}{137055}- Dodo!|- Dodo. {137087}{137126}Little grey ones. {137130}{137184}Six out of the seven, like Falluper, {137188}{137269}have kept their post- VUE physical|appearance hidden. {137273}{137359}The seventh victim has permitted|her likeness to be used {137362}{137419}as an aid to the finding|of her husband. {137439}{137480}If it had been necessary, {137483}{137566}Falluper could have invented|the Violent Unknown Event. {137570}{137665}It certainly effaced him. There have|been no more grand projects. {137669}{137776}It is said that Falluper has changed|identity and become a catalogue clerk {137780}{137865}working nights in an office|in Whitfield Street, London W1. {137911}{137956}- Deerhen.|- Lighthouse bird. {137959}{137977}Sepoy. {137981}{138003}- Chubb.|- Buzzard. {138113}{138197}Grastled Fallusson invented|so much fiction about himself, {138201}{138279}the Directory cannot vouch|for any version of his biography. {138327}{138364}Castral Fallvernon, {138367}{138449}curator of photographs and pictures|for the VUE Commission {138453}{138543}lives and works in a disused aircraft|on the outfield at Heathrow. {138974}{139036}Three years after|the Violent Unknown Event, {139040}{139153}to aid VUE victims afflicted|with a variety of avian paranoias, {139157}{139215}Castral approached|the Airport Authority {139219}{139291}for help in developing|a rehabilitation programme {139294}{139335}based on visual stimulation. {139339}{139438}Sleep in the tail,|breakfast over the wing, {139442}{139545}office up front,|lounge in the cockpit. {139549}{139625}Legolas Varda bought me a mynah bird. {139629}{139699}Within six months,|Castral could offer a prospectus {139703}{139810}including bird- recognition therapy,|exercise in a flight simulator, {139813}{139928}lepidoptery, ornithological taxidermy|and free- fall parachuting. {139954}{140055}Progressing patients are assessed|by their reaction to visual material {140058}{140103}on tapes, slides and film, {140106}{140184}accompanied by a great deal|of specially composed music, {140188}{140279}full use of the VUE languages|and a wealth of bird anecdote. {140346}{140396}Filmstrip 17 was a favourite project {140400}{140474}with apparently considerable|curative properties. {140477}{140545}It certainly introduced Castral|to her husband, {140548}{140632}who as a self- styled flyer,|modelled himself on William Cody {140635}{140690}and until the treatment|of filmstrip 17, {140694}{140803}was persecuted by the thought that an|attack from the air would blind him. {140823}{140910}Castral's appreciation of the Theory|of the Responsibility of Birds {140914}{140978}and the Value of Personalised Flight|was equivocal {140982}{141063}and could be typified by her copy|of the da Vinci flying machine. {141067}{141151}Aircraft vibration loosened|a drawing pin holding it to the wall. {141154}{141241}The picture had swung round so|that the machine flew upside down. {141245}{141317}Castral had not seen fit to put it|back the right way up. {141435}{141524}The pictures in filmstrip 17 were|taken from an early collection {141528}{141604}of black- and- white photographs|of birds kept in zoos. {141607}{141679}Most of the photographs|had been heavily retouched. {141683}{141780}In some cases, they had been|virtually recreated with a brush. {141783}{141899}Maybe this was instrumental|in the filmstrip's high success rate. {141934}{141991}Either that|or patients were intimidated {141995}{142038}by the eye of the marabou stork. {142041}{142127}The timorous may have identified|Castral with that stern eye. {142131}{142174}She had no room for failures. {142369}{142449}Capercaillie, lammergeyer,|cassowary... {142453}{142548}Leasting Fallvo wrote plots,|fictions, lyrics and narratives. {142552}{142587}She likes the theatre... {142591}{142671}Among his clients were|second offenders, alibi hunters, {142675}{142772}newspaper editors, con men,|dramatists and bored children. {142775}{142859}The audience, the pay and|the state of the Fallvo imagination {142863}{142951}dictated the swing|of each narrative and its outcome. {142955}{143099}...down in Abersoch Bay.|Abersoch. A- B- E- R- S- O- C- H... {143102}{143151}Before the Violent Unknown Event, {143154}{143246}an Earth reconstructed from Fallvo's|entire imaginative output {143250}{143353}would have been populated only|by homo sapiens and a few bushes. {143356}{143409}The VUE changed all that. {143412}{143490}...pratincol, phalarope... {143494}{143541}These are the photographs... {143544}{143657}Fallvo was in Bavaria in a ski lift|at 11.41 on the evening of the VUE. {143661}{143737}In an ensuing accident|he lost the use of both his legs, {143741}{143844}but as to actual VUE symptoms,|Fallvo was slow to be affected. {143847}{143919}Carlos was not happy|with the photographs... {143923}{144007}A year after the Event,|Fallvo began to speak Oso- leet- ter, {144010}{144047}a plain rhythmic language {144051}{144133}suitable for the telling|of a steady uncluttered narrative {144136}{144202}and an Earth reconstructed now|from his output {144206}{144276}would be populated by birds|and a few piles of brick. {144280}{144315}...in a haversack, {144319}{144424}along with the silver spoon from his|mother's second- wedding presents. {144427}{144530}However, he lost his English- speaking|audience and his earnings slumped. {144534}{144612}To earn money he came to the|VUE Commission with a proposal {144616}{144727}to establish a library contributed to|solely by those afflicted by the VUE. {144730}{144775}...auklet, noddy... {144779}{144871}Eventually, there were enough VUE|products to demand a catalogue. {144875}{144963}Fallvo volunteered to put it|together. The Commission agreed, {144967}{145041}provided Fallvo produced|the catalogue in English. {145045}{145076}...and cucumbers... {145080}{145150}Fiction was poorly represented|and Fallvo himself {145154}{145242}saw to it that the nearly empty|shelves looked more respectable. {145246}{145289}Among his works in English were {145293}{145374}The Madras Lemonade Glass,|The Tyddyn- Corn Clout, {145378}{145460}Bird Tales of the Eiffel Tower,|A Walk Through H, {145463}{145546}A Turkey for a Wife,|The House of the Two Palms, {145550}{145655}The Dogs on Bardsey lsland,|The Tulse Luper Suitcase, {145659}{145739}Protest at the Golden Egg,|The Missing Composer, {145742}{145790}The Making of Hartileas B, {145794}{145903}The Wash- House Corpse,|The Red Chair and many others. {145906}{145965}It was said|that if the VUE had not happened, {145969}{146041}then Leasting Fallvo|could have invented it. {146044}{146074}...skua... {146078}{146183}With the preposterous Violent Unknown|Event receding in everyone's minds, {146187}{146290}an need for new fiction persuaded|Fallvo's clients to reemploy him. {146293}{146313}...scaup... {146316}{146411}Seven years after the Event, Fallvo|was more prosperous than ever {146415}{146456}but there were two penalties. {146460}{146557}First, the slowly encroaching|influence of the VUE on Fallvo {146560}{146603}was affecting his eyesight. {146607}{146658}...Anthior Fallwaste... {146662}{146775}Second, the VUE was persuading him|he had no memory worth preserving. {146779}{146861}Both these facts improved|his standard of living further. {146865}{146935}The first because|he could rely less on observation {146939}{147020}and the second because|he was forced to keep reinventing. {147024}{147189}...a bird scarer.|The conventional sanctuary... {147193}{147288}Fallvo's circle of contacts|and clients continued to increase. {147292}{147370}Whether they treated his narratives|as allegories {147373}{147457}or as metaphors of their own|difficulties has to be researched. {147791}{147834}Anthior Fallwaste has achieved {147838}{147914}what so many immortal VUE victims|have failed to do. {147918}{147992}He was successfully buried|on the site of a bird scarer {147995}{148034}the conventional sanctuary {148037}{148136}of those seeking to irrevocably|terminate a relationship with birds. {148230}{148277}And that is the end of The Falls. {148281}{148355}The next name in the Directory|is Artesian Falma. {148381}{148481}>> Napisy pobrane z http://napisy.org <<|>>>>>>>> nowa wizja napis�w <<<<<<<< 101680