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1
00:00:10,878 --> 00:00:14,178
(upbeat music)
2
00:00:14,248 --> 00:00:17,518
♪♪ ♪♪
3
00:00:18,585 --> 00:00:20,795
(sighs)
4
00:00:20,795 --> 00:00:23,365
Hey Tanya,
do you consider me successful?
5
00:00:23,367 --> 00:00:24,737
Yes, I do.
6
00:00:24,802 --> 00:00:27,442
I mean,
not in the traditional sense.
7
00:00:27,505 --> 00:00:29,265
That's actually the sense
I was hoping for.
8
00:00:29,340 --> 00:00:31,240
You know,
you're rich in happiness.
9
00:00:31,309 --> 00:00:32,779
I'm not that happy.
10
00:00:32,844 --> 00:00:34,314
Well, you're middle class
in happiness,
11
00:00:34,378 --> 00:00:37,078
and that is flavor because
the middle class is vanishing.
12
00:00:37,148 --> 00:00:39,618
Mm...okay.
13
00:00:39,684 --> 00:00:42,924
I think I should start
doing stuff
14
00:00:42,987 --> 00:00:44,057
with my life.
15
00:00:44,121 --> 00:00:45,221
That could be cool.
16
00:00:45,289 --> 00:00:46,589
(gasps)
I've got stuff!
17
00:00:46,657 --> 00:00:48,257
I'm gonna go check out
the new coffee shop.
18
00:00:48,326 --> 00:00:49,556
You wanna come?
The really far away one?
19
00:00:49,627 --> 00:00:51,227
It's only a 68minute walk.
20
00:00:51,295 --> 00:00:53,225
Do stuff.
Mm, nah.
21
00:00:53,297 --> 00:00:54,967
I think I might do
a little career research.
22
00:00:55,032 --> 00:00:56,672
Good for you.
23
00:00:56,734 --> 00:00:59,104
Hey, Kevin!
Hey, Tanya.
24
00:00:59,170 --> 00:01:01,210
What is up?
25
00:01:01,272 --> 00:01:02,612
(sighs)
Nothin'.
26
00:01:02,673 --> 00:01:05,013
Just reconsidering
my entire life.
27
00:01:05,076 --> 00:01:07,006
You?
Also nothing.
28
00:01:07,078 --> 00:01:09,208
You know, just bein' regular.
29
00:01:09,280 --> 00:01:10,720
Why do you sound suspicious?
30
00:01:10,781 --> 00:01:13,421
What?
No, I'm not suspicious!
31
00:01:13,484 --> 00:01:15,454
You're sweating a lot.
32
00:01:15,520 --> 00:01:17,560
Uh, I was at soccer practice!
33
00:01:17,622 --> 00:01:19,322
You don't have soccer practice
on Sundays.
34
00:01:19,390 --> 00:01:20,660
Okay, listen.
35
00:01:20,725 --> 00:01:22,225
There's something wrong
with the bathroom.
36
00:01:22,293 --> 00:01:24,103
Kevin, what did you do?
37
00:01:24,162 --> 00:01:25,432
I didn't do anything.
38
00:01:25,496 --> 00:01:28,596
Have you been eating
in there again?
39
00:01:28,666 --> 00:01:30,196
We better not have cockroaches.
40
00:01:30,268 --> 00:01:31,468
It's not cockroaches.
41
00:01:31,536 --> 00:01:33,866
(creature roaring)
42
00:01:33,938 --> 00:01:36,368
Uh, it was like this
when I walked in.
43
00:01:36,440 --> 00:01:38,010
ERNESTO: Oh, my God.
44
00:01:38,075 --> 00:01:40,435
Kevin, did you leave cookies
behind the sink?
45
00:01:40,511 --> 00:01:42,181
Yeah.
That's why this thing is here.
46
00:01:42,246 --> 00:01:43,976
It smelled
your bathroom snacks.
47
00:01:44,048 --> 00:01:46,078
Oh, man!
My B.
48
00:01:46,150 --> 00:01:48,620
Dude, you gotta stop this.
We have a kitchen.
49
00:01:48,686 --> 00:01:50,586
But sometimes I'm hungry
in other rooms!
50
00:01:50,655 --> 00:01:53,085
Hey, guys, what's up?
51
00:01:53,157 --> 00:01:56,157
(creature roars)
52
00:01:56,227 --> 00:01:59,157
Aw, man.
What did you do?
53
00:01:59,230 --> 00:02:00,430
Kevin left cookies
behind the sink.
54
00:02:00,498 --> 00:02:02,428
Again.
Kevin.
55
00:02:02,500 --> 00:02:04,840
We talked about that for hours.
56
00:02:04,902 --> 00:02:07,142
Hey, I'm still not convinced
this is my fau
57
00:02:07,205 --> 00:02:09,465
(screams)
Oh, dear Lord!
58
00:02:09,540 --> 00:02:11,240
(screaming)
59
00:02:11,309 --> 00:02:13,409
(grunts)
Stop!
60
00:02:13,477 --> 00:02:14,807
You know what this means,
right?
61
00:02:14,879 --> 00:02:16,179
(sighs)
62
00:02:16,247 --> 00:02:17,617
We have to use
the half bathroom.
63
00:02:17,682 --> 00:02:19,252
Oh, my God.
No.
64
00:02:19,317 --> 00:02:22,347
(eerie music)
65
00:02:22,420 --> 00:02:24,560
(creature groaning)
66
00:02:24,622 --> 00:02:26,092
What the hell is that?
67
00:02:26,157 --> 00:02:27,727
Oh, hey, Cat.
68
00:02:27,792 --> 00:02:30,132
Kevin left cookies
in the bathroom.
69
00:02:30,194 --> 00:02:31,704
Damn it, Kevin!
70
00:02:31,762 --> 00:02:34,402
There's nothing cool about
eating cookies on the toilet!
71
00:02:34,465 --> 00:02:36,025
Hey, cool it, man.
72
00:02:36,100 --> 00:02:38,200
No.
I just cleaned in there.
73
00:02:38,269 --> 00:02:40,239
You cleaned in there,
like, two weeks ago.
74
00:02:40,304 --> 00:02:43,114
Yeah, two weeks ago,
thoroughly clean.
75
00:02:43,174 --> 00:02:44,344
And may also I ask,
76
00:02:44,408 --> 00:02:46,078
when's the last time
you cleaned in there?
77
00:02:46,143 --> 00:02:47,383
This is not a competition.
78
00:02:47,445 --> 00:02:49,675
Life is a competition.
79
00:02:49,747 --> 00:02:51,747
And you're runnin'
in last place, buddy.
80
00:02:51,816 --> 00:02:53,446
Give me that broom.
I'm gonna take care of this.
81
00:02:53,518 --> 00:02:55,948
Go on, get out!
(yowls)
82
00:02:59,957 --> 00:03:02,027
Uh, Cat?
83
00:03:02,093 --> 00:03:04,003
(groans)
84
00:03:04,061 --> 00:03:06,461
All right, he's alive.
Kevin, clean up your shit.
85
00:03:06,531 --> 00:03:08,731
I have life stuff
to figure out.
86
00:03:08,799 --> 00:03:12,139
(creature roars)
87
00:03:12,203 --> 00:03:14,973
(upbeat music)
88
00:03:15,039 --> 00:03:21,009
♪♪ ♪♪
89
00:03:21,946 --> 00:03:23,006
(buzzer)
90
00:03:23,080 --> 00:03:24,950
(groans)
91
00:03:28,085 --> 00:03:29,545
Ahh.
92
00:03:29,620 --> 00:03:32,860
Kevin?
Did you clean the bathroom yet?
93
00:03:35,893 --> 00:03:38,763
(creature roaring)
94
00:03:40,198 --> 00:03:43,168
You did not clean the bathroom!
95
00:03:43,234 --> 00:03:45,244
Mm.
(sucks teeth)
96
00:03:45,303 --> 00:03:46,603
(sighs)
97
00:03:47,738 --> 00:03:48,938
(grunts)
98
00:03:49,006 --> 00:03:51,936
(eerie music)
99
00:03:52,009 --> 00:03:58,779
♪♪ ♪♪
100
00:04:10,561 --> 00:04:12,331
(switch clicks)
101
00:04:12,396 --> 00:04:14,566
Huh.
102
00:04:14,632 --> 00:04:16,772
It's actually not that bad.
103
00:04:18,870 --> 00:04:19,840
Oh, shit.
104
00:04:19,904 --> 00:04:21,974
(grunting)
105
00:04:22,039 --> 00:04:23,009
Come on.
106
00:04:25,176 --> 00:04:27,276
(muffled knocking)
ERNESTO: Hey, Kevin?
107
00:04:27,345 --> 00:04:29,005
(knocking continues)
108
00:04:29,080 --> 00:04:31,380
Turt?
109
00:04:31,449 --> 00:04:33,779
Cat?
(creature growling)
110
00:04:33,851 --> 00:04:35,351
(sighs)
111
00:04:35,419 --> 00:04:38,489
(creature grumbling faintly)
112
00:04:40,324 --> 00:04:42,664
(phone buzzing)
Hey, Tanya.
113
00:04:42,727 --> 00:04:44,597
Hey, you just texted methe words "bathroom emergency"
114
00:04:44,662 --> 00:04:46,132
in all caps.What's up?
115
00:04:46,197 --> 00:04:48,927
Yeah, I'm trapped in
the half bathroom at my place.
116
00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:51,740
Why are you usingthe half bathroom?
117
00:04:51,802 --> 00:04:54,542
There's, like,
an alien or a monster
118
00:04:54,605 --> 00:04:55,705
or something
in the regular bathroom.
119
00:04:55,773 --> 00:04:57,143
TANYA: Oh, man.
Yeah.
120
00:04:57,208 --> 00:04:58,208
Kevin left cookies in there.
121
00:04:58,276 --> 00:04:59,576
God, again?
ERNESTO: Yeah.
122
00:04:59,644 --> 00:05:01,684
Ugh, I'm so glad
I don't have roommates.
123
00:05:01,746 --> 00:05:03,876
Thank God for soulless jobs!
124
00:05:03,948 --> 00:05:06,118
You're living the dream.
What're you up to right now?
125
00:05:06,184 --> 00:05:10,354
I'm still at this coffee shop.
The line is super long.
126
00:05:10,421 --> 00:05:13,421
Um, do you wanna maybe bail
127
00:05:13,491 --> 00:05:14,731
and come get me
out of here instead?
128
00:05:14,792 --> 00:05:17,032
No, dude,
I've put 2 1/2 hours into this.
129
00:05:17,094 --> 00:05:19,304
I've gotta see
if it's worth the hype.
130
00:05:19,363 --> 00:05:21,533
No, yeah.
That seems important.
131
00:05:21,599 --> 00:05:23,099
Listen, I'll come get youon the way back.
132
00:05:23,167 --> 00:05:25,467
We can do lunch.
133
00:05:25,536 --> 00:05:26,696
Tanya,
there's a spider in here!
134
00:05:26,771 --> 00:05:28,171
I'll see you in, like,
84 minutes, okay?
135
00:05:28,239 --> 00:05:29,709
Oh, God!
136
00:05:29,774 --> 00:05:31,044
Don't get all stressed out.
ERNESTO: (whining)
137
00:05:31,108 --> 00:05:32,178
It's way too late for that.
138
00:05:32,243 --> 00:05:33,953
Oh, man.
139
00:05:34,011 --> 00:05:35,581
Um, excuse me.
140
00:05:35,646 --> 00:05:36,776
Do you think I could go
in front of you?
141
00:05:36,848 --> 00:05:38,648
My friend is stuck
in his half bathroom.
142
00:05:38,716 --> 00:05:40,316
(laughing)
Ugh.
143
00:05:40,384 --> 00:05:42,494
Hey, lady,
everyone's got problems.
144
00:05:42,553 --> 00:05:43,753
You think I don't have
to go let someone
145
00:05:43,821 --> 00:05:45,321
out of a bathroom after this?
146
00:05:45,389 --> 00:05:47,019
Do you?
Yeah, my friend Karen.
147
00:05:47,091 --> 00:05:49,191
She's been stuck in her
bathroom for three days.
148
00:05:49,260 --> 00:05:51,530
Oh, Karen, no.
You know Karen?
149
00:05:51,596 --> 00:05:54,296
No, but she sounds incredible.
150
00:05:54,365 --> 00:05:55,725
She's one of my
third best friends.
151
00:05:55,800 --> 00:05:58,340
Hey, um,
I'm just blueskying here,
152
00:05:58,402 --> 00:06:00,442
but why don't we just
order together?
153
00:06:00,505 --> 00:06:02,005
Are you getting any food?
No.
154
00:06:02,073 --> 00:06:03,243
Pshh.
Yeah, me either.
155
00:06:03,307 --> 00:06:04,877
Great.
Thanks.
156
00:06:06,043 --> 00:06:08,553
Excuse me, do you think
I can go in front of you?
157
00:06:08,613 --> 00:06:11,823
My friend is stuck
in his half bathroom.
158
00:06:14,785 --> 00:06:18,055
(downbeat chiptune music)
159
00:06:19,690 --> 00:06:21,660
(sighs)
160
00:06:21,726 --> 00:06:24,326
I'm gonna die
in a half bathroom.
161
00:06:24,395 --> 00:06:26,555
Not even a real bathroom.
162
00:06:26,631 --> 00:06:28,201
At least we became bros
in the end.
163
00:06:28,266 --> 00:06:30,536
Didn't we, spider?
164
00:06:30,601 --> 00:06:32,301
Thank you for believing in me.
165
00:06:32,370 --> 00:06:33,670
TANYA: Ernesto,
you still in there?
166
00:06:33,738 --> 00:06:35,238
Tanya?
How was the coffee?
167
00:06:35,306 --> 00:06:36,506
Not good.
168
00:06:36,574 --> 00:06:37,844
Did you lock it?
Yeah.
169
00:06:37,909 --> 00:06:39,479
And then I broke
the door handle off.
170
00:06:39,544 --> 00:06:40,554
Ugh.
All right, all right.
171
00:06:40,611 --> 00:06:42,311
I'm gonna try something.
172
00:06:42,380 --> 00:06:43,610
Hiyah!
173
00:06:44,549 --> 00:06:45,949
It didn't work.
174
00:06:46,017 --> 00:06:48,147
Should I try again?
ERNESTO: Yeah.
175
00:06:48,219 --> 00:06:49,789
TANYA:
Second hiyah!
176
00:06:51,489 --> 00:06:53,219
I think it opens
in the other direction.
177
00:06:53,291 --> 00:06:54,661
Man, these doors are thin.
178
00:06:54,725 --> 00:06:56,385
Hey, Tanya.
Hey.
179
00:06:56,460 --> 00:06:57,700
Why are you breaking my house?
180
00:06:57,762 --> 00:06:59,102
ERNESTO: Kevin!
Ernesto?
181
00:06:59,163 --> 00:07:00,403
Did you clean the bathroom yet?
182
00:07:00,464 --> 00:07:02,534
Yeah.
I mean, I'm doing it.
183
00:07:02,600 --> 00:07:03,730
I got the broom out.
184
00:07:03,801 --> 00:07:06,741
(creature roars)
185
00:07:09,140 --> 00:07:10,440
What're you up to?
186
00:07:10,508 --> 00:07:12,808
I'm stuck
in this goddamn half bathroom!
187
00:07:12,877 --> 00:07:16,007
KEVIN: Oh, you have to lift
the door, then push.
188
00:07:20,084 --> 00:07:21,554
Oh.
189
00:07:21,619 --> 00:07:22,549
(groans)
190
00:07:23,721 --> 00:07:25,861
Hey, Tanya.
Hey.
191
00:07:25,923 --> 00:07:27,023
Dude.
Hey!
192
00:07:27,091 --> 00:07:28,731
No hey.
Bathroom.
193
00:07:28,793 --> 00:07:30,903
Ugh.
Fine!
194
00:07:30,962 --> 00:07:32,302
(creature snarling)
195
00:07:32,363 --> 00:07:33,463
(grunts)
KEVIN: Guys?
196
00:07:33,531 --> 00:07:35,271
I think I need help.
197
00:07:35,333 --> 00:07:38,473
(creature roaring)
198
00:07:39,136 --> 00:07:40,266
Whoa.
199
00:07:40,338 --> 00:07:43,068
You guys need to clean
your place more.
200
00:07:43,140 --> 00:07:44,510
Shit.
Oh.
201
00:07:44,575 --> 00:07:46,605
All right, we gotta take care
of this right now.
202
00:07:46,677 --> 00:07:49,277
Kevin, grab the broom.
Oh, God.
203
00:07:49,347 --> 00:07:51,247
Oh, God.
You can do this, Kevin.
204
00:07:51,315 --> 00:07:52,645
You've got this, Kevin.
Dude.
205
00:07:52,717 --> 00:07:54,917
Just be brave.
Oh, my...
206
00:07:54,986 --> 00:07:57,856
Okay, uh, can I drink
some alcohol first?
207
00:07:57,922 --> 00:08:00,892
I'd also like
to drink some alcohol first.
208
00:08:00,958 --> 00:08:02,258
(sighs)
209
00:08:02,326 --> 00:08:05,196
(upbeat swing music)
210
00:08:05,263 --> 00:08:08,103
♪♪ ♪♪
211
00:08:08,166 --> 00:08:11,296
(creature roars)
212
00:08:20,545 --> 00:08:23,445
(glasses shatter)
213
00:08:23,514 --> 00:08:26,624
Let's do this.
214
00:08:26,684 --> 00:08:27,854
(groans)
215
00:08:29,253 --> 00:08:31,623
Kev?
He passed out.
216
00:08:31,689 --> 00:08:33,389
(sighs)
217
00:08:33,457 --> 00:08:35,257
All right,
let's get him on the couch.
218
00:08:35,326 --> 00:08:36,826
(creature grumbling)
219
00:08:36,894 --> 00:08:40,974
Guys?
Are you gonna clean this up?
220
00:08:41,032 --> 00:08:43,072
Ready?
Ready!
221
00:08:43,134 --> 00:08:44,474
(both yelling)
222
00:08:44,535 --> 00:08:48,065
TANYA: Huh, ah, ha!
ERNESTO: (grunting)
223
00:08:48,139 --> 00:08:51,109
(creature growls)
224
00:08:51,175 --> 00:08:52,505
(glass shatters)
225
00:08:52,577 --> 00:08:54,207
TANYA: Grr!
ERNESTO: Tanya, watch out!
226
00:08:54,278 --> 00:08:56,078
(creature growling)
227
00:08:56,147 --> 00:08:58,017
TANYA: Hiyah!
Ooh, hah!
228
00:08:58,082 --> 00:09:00,122
Ow!
You bitch!
229
00:09:00,184 --> 00:09:03,294
(both continue grunting)
230
00:09:08,125 --> 00:09:09,655
Haahh!
231
00:09:09,727 --> 00:09:11,527
(yelling)
232
00:09:14,232 --> 00:09:16,632
(grunting)
233
00:09:16,701 --> 00:09:17,901
Ow!
234
00:09:17,969 --> 00:09:19,399
Ugh.
235
00:09:21,939 --> 00:09:25,509
(creature roars)
236
00:09:30,014 --> 00:09:31,324
Dude!
237
00:09:31,382 --> 00:09:32,922
Where'd you learn
to throw a knife like that?
238
00:09:32,984 --> 00:09:34,794
Mm, videos.
239
00:09:34,852 --> 00:09:36,092
(glass shattering)
240
00:09:36,154 --> 00:09:38,124
Send me a link.
241
00:09:38,189 --> 00:09:39,819
CAT: Oh, come on!
242
00:09:39,891 --> 00:09:41,491
(goo squelching)
243
00:09:41,559 --> 00:09:43,329
Ah!
(exhales)
244
00:09:43,394 --> 00:09:44,864
I'm alive!
245
00:09:44,929 --> 00:09:46,959
You guys saved me.
246
00:09:47,031 --> 00:09:48,531
You do respect me.
247
00:09:48,599 --> 00:09:50,299
I actually forgot
he was in here.
248
00:09:50,368 --> 00:09:51,998
(panting)
249
00:09:52,069 --> 00:09:54,409
Shh.
It's okay.
250
00:09:54,472 --> 00:09:55,812
What the hell was that thing?
251
00:09:55,873 --> 00:09:59,013
It was an alien parasite.
I think.
252
00:09:59,076 --> 00:10:01,476
Actually, I don't really know.
Oh, my God.
253
00:10:01,546 --> 00:10:03,646
It's like I could feel it
in my mind.
254
00:10:03,714 --> 00:10:05,254
It kept just, like, telling me
255
00:10:05,316 --> 00:10:07,186
to call my mother
for some reason.
256
00:10:07,251 --> 00:10:08,591
Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.
257
00:10:08,653 --> 00:10:10,563
Kevin, are you drunk?
Yes.
258
00:10:10,621 --> 00:10:12,521
Good, can you show me
where the alcohol is?
259
00:10:12,590 --> 00:10:14,630
I killed the monster.
260
00:10:14,692 --> 00:10:16,292
Yeah, thanks for that, man.
261
00:10:16,360 --> 00:10:17,830
You're everybody's hero today,
pal.
262
00:10:17,895 --> 00:10:20,695
KEVIN: Shh.
Pretty kitty.
263
00:10:22,834 --> 00:10:25,274
So how about that lunch,
darling?
264
00:10:25,336 --> 00:10:26,566
I don't know.
265
00:10:26,637 --> 00:10:29,367
I should probably get back
to my career search.
266
00:10:29,440 --> 00:10:31,710
Then again, I can't do anything
if I'm hungry.
267
00:10:31,776 --> 00:10:33,876
Food is the first step
to success.
268
00:10:33,945 --> 00:10:36,005
I'm writing that down.
Oh, you should.
269
00:10:36,080 --> 00:10:37,950
Hey, Kevin!
You wanna come eat with us?
270
00:10:39,083 --> 00:10:40,053
(gasps)
I know!
271
00:10:40,117 --> 00:10:41,247
We should do all you can eat.
272
00:10:41,319 --> 00:10:42,389
Will that be enough?
273
00:10:42,453 --> 00:10:43,993
We can get two orders.
274
00:10:44,055 --> 00:10:46,855
(creature roaring)
275
00:10:46,924 --> 00:10:48,864
(manhole cover crashes)
What about dessert?
276
00:10:48,926 --> 00:10:51,026
Oh, there's a new
hot cookie place on 4th.
277
00:10:51,095 --> 00:10:52,755
It's called Hot Cookies!
278
00:10:52,830 --> 00:10:54,970
KEVIN: Ooh!
279
00:10:55,032 --> 00:10:57,402
(creature growling)
280
00:10:57,452 --> 00:11:02,002
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