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00:00:04,091 --> 00:00:06,832
[epic holiday music]
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00:00:06,876 --> 00:00:10,140
♪
3
00:00:10,184 --> 00:00:13,143
Man, I really love
the Grinch.
4
00:00:13,187 --> 00:00:14,884
I mean, that dog
is definitely in bondage,
5
00:00:14,927 --> 00:00:16,538
but it was a different time
6
00:00:16,581 --> 00:00:18,583
Hey, y'all can be cool
with that dude if you want to,
7
00:00:18,627 --> 00:00:20,498
but if he try to steal
my Who hash,
8
00:00:20,542 --> 00:00:22,718
I go straight
to the lockbox on him.
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00:00:22,761 --> 00:00:26,330
Get thing one
and thing two in that ass.
10
00:00:26,374 --> 00:00:28,289
Daddy, what is uncle Gary
talking about?
11
00:00:28,332 --> 00:00:30,421
Nothing.
He's just being silly.
12
00:00:30,465 --> 00:00:33,468
He definitely does not have
a firearm in my house.
13
00:00:33,511 --> 00:00:35,992
- No.
- Well... [sighs]
14
00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:37,733
I think it's bedtime.
15
00:00:37,776 --> 00:00:39,387
Aw. Already?
16
00:00:39,430 --> 00:00:42,172
Actually, I was talking
about Papa Rick.
17
00:00:42,216 --> 00:00:44,348
I had three real hard eggnogs
18
00:00:44,392 --> 00:00:46,133
But I do think it's time
for the two of you
19
00:00:46,176 --> 00:00:48,396
to take yourselves
to bed as well.
20
00:00:48,439 --> 00:00:50,180
Tomorrow is family
Christmas Day
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00:00:50,224 --> 00:00:51,660
Doesn't Santa get upset
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00:00:51,703 --> 00:00:53,879
that we open our presents
a day early every year?
23
00:00:53,923 --> 00:00:55,881
Santa knows that come
Christmas morning,
24
00:00:55,925 --> 00:00:58,493
I have to be in the studio
to do our holiday spectacular,
25
00:00:58,536 --> 00:00:59,755
and he'll bring you presents
26
00:00:59,798 --> 00:01:01,626
for you to find
when you get home.
27
00:01:01,670 --> 00:01:04,325
Come on, ladies, let's see
how many Christmas stories
28
00:01:04,368 --> 00:01:06,196
I can get through
before I blackout
29
00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:07,893
- Good night.
- Good night.
30
00:01:07,937 --> 00:01:09,721
Good night.
31
00:01:09,765 --> 00:01:11,854
I hate Grandma stories.
32
00:01:11,897 --> 00:01:13,029
You ready?
33
00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:14,813
You already know, dog.
34
00:01:16,467 --> 00:01:18,469
- ♪ Hey, the kids sleep?
- ♪ Yeah
35
00:01:18,513 --> 00:01:20,036
♪ Put their presents
under the tree ♪
36
00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:22,082
♪ My baby's name is on it,
with how it is wrapped ♪
37
00:01:22,125 --> 00:01:24,084
♪ She'll know it's me
because it is crappy ♪
38
00:01:24,127 --> 00:01:26,129
♪ But once you get past that,
you'll be so happy ♪
39
00:01:26,173 --> 00:01:29,306
♪ 'Cause I got everything on
your list, ain't miss a lick ♪
40
00:01:29,350 --> 00:01:30,916
♪ It's Christmastime
in the A ♪
41
00:01:30,960 --> 00:01:32,744
♪ Yeah, it's late
but we ain't tired ♪
42
00:01:32,788 --> 00:01:35,573
♪ Still got to wrap the bikes
with some assembly required ♪
43
00:01:35,617 --> 00:01:37,009
♪ Eating cookies
off the plate ♪
44
00:01:37,053 --> 00:01:38,794
♪ Then replace 'em
just for Santa ♪
45
00:01:38,837 --> 00:01:41,623
♪ Got 12 reindeer with all
their names on my pajamas ♪
46
00:01:41,666 --> 00:01:43,364
♪ Christmas morning
in the streets on bikes ♪
47
00:01:43,407 --> 00:01:45,105
♪ Full of glee
48
00:01:45,148 --> 00:01:48,934
♪ Standing up while we ride
with our butts off the seat ♪
49
00:01:48,978 --> 00:01:51,981
Oh! [bleep]!
50
00:01:52,024 --> 00:01:54,375
Hey, bro. You good?
- No.
51
00:01:54,418 --> 00:01:56,116
♪ Been lighting up the A
52
00:01:56,159 --> 00:01:57,987
♪ Since we was adolescents
53
00:01:58,030 --> 00:01:59,423
♪ I'm drinking
and spilling milk ♪
54
00:01:59,467 --> 00:02:00,816
♪ On the whole gang
of presents ♪
55
00:02:00,859 --> 00:02:02,426
♪ Cherish
the ones you love ♪
56
00:02:02,470 --> 00:02:04,167
♪ Let them know
that they're your favorite ♪
57
00:02:04,211 --> 00:02:06,865
♪ Sipping eggnog while I'm
watching "Trading Places"... ♪
58
00:02:06,909 --> 00:02:09,651
♪ Elf on the shelf,
lift you up if you need help ♪
59
00:02:09,694 --> 00:02:11,435
♪ Pass the myrrh
- ♪ Deck the halls
60
00:02:11,479 --> 00:02:14,395
♪ Merry Christmas
to you all ♪
61
00:02:14,438 --> 00:02:17,789
♪ Merry Christmas to you all
62
00:02:17,833 --> 00:02:19,704
♪ Merry Christmas
from the South ♪
63
00:02:19,748 --> 00:02:24,187
♪
64
00:02:24,231 --> 00:02:29,018
♪ Merry Christmas
65
00:02:29,061 --> 00:02:36,112
♪
66
00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:41,117
♪ Merry Christmas
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00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:44,468
♪
68
00:02:44,512 --> 00:02:46,209
[cheers and applause]
- Thank you, family. Thank you.
69
00:02:46,253 --> 00:02:48,211
I appreciate you
all very much
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00:02:48,255 --> 00:02:51,693
♪
71
00:02:51,736 --> 00:02:53,173
♪ Merry Christmas
to you all ♪
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00:02:53,216 --> 00:02:56,437
Whoo! Williams brothers
take down another Christmas.
73
00:02:56,480 --> 00:02:58,830
- And Rick.
- Man, all you did was drink.
74
00:02:58,874 --> 00:03:02,051
Hey, you got your
family traditions, I got mine.
75
00:03:02,094 --> 00:03:03,487
[cell phone vibrates]
- Well, speaking of traditions,
76
00:03:03,531 --> 00:03:05,968
tomorrow I'm going to need you
to stay sober
77
00:03:06,011 --> 00:03:07,883
so you can watch your
granddaughters at the studio,
78
00:03:07,926 --> 00:03:10,364
while Gary and I make
the little children of Atlanta
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00:03:10,407 --> 00:03:13,410
happy playing Santa
and his trusty elf.
80
00:03:13,454 --> 00:03:16,108
Oh, hold up, man. I can't do
the elf thing anymore.
81
00:03:16,152 --> 00:03:18,023
What? What you talking
about man?
82
00:03:18,067 --> 00:03:19,503
You can't miss out
83
00:03:19,547 --> 00:03:21,592
on the Annual Wake Up
with Kenan Holiday Spectacular.
84
00:03:21,636 --> 00:03:23,899
The community is counting
on the Williams brothers.
85
00:03:23,942 --> 00:03:27,468
I know, man, but I think
I might sign a new client.
86
00:03:27,511 --> 00:03:28,991
Whoa. That's huge.
87
00:03:29,034 --> 00:03:30,297
Right?
88
00:03:30,340 --> 00:03:32,690
Wait, wait, wait,
wait, what new client?
89
00:03:32,734 --> 00:03:34,562
Oh, this hilarious comedian
I met in LA
90
00:03:34,605 --> 00:03:36,433
when you dragged
your whole family out there
91
00:03:36,477 --> 00:03:38,218
to shoot the reboot
for your old sitcom.
92
00:03:38,261 --> 00:03:42,047
The train wreck of a reboot.
What a waste of three months.
93
00:03:42,091 --> 00:03:46,182
And whose idea was it to cast
you as Katt Williams' father?
94
00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:47,879
- We took a big swing.
- I'll say.
95
00:03:47,923 --> 00:03:50,491
Look, Shaunda is only in town
for Christmas Day,
96
00:03:50,534 --> 00:03:52,232
and she chose to spend it
with me
97
00:03:52,275 --> 00:03:53,755
mostly because
she hates her mama.
98
00:03:53,798 --> 00:03:55,496
But still,
Merry Christmas, Gary.
99
00:03:55,539 --> 00:03:57,454
So what? You just going
to abandon your family?
100
00:03:57,498 --> 00:04:00,283
Look, come on, man,
this could be the first client
101
00:04:00,327 --> 00:04:02,459
I have that
I haven't taken a bath with.
102
00:04:02,503 --> 00:04:03,895
There's an image
I didn't need.
103
00:04:03,939 --> 00:04:06,246
You know what?
Hey, I'm excited for you.
104
00:04:06,289 --> 00:04:07,986
- Thank you.
- But I don't know.
105
00:04:08,030 --> 00:04:10,685
I feel like you might be taking
on a little too much, you know?
106
00:04:10,728 --> 00:04:12,556
Like, you already
bailing on me,
107
00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:15,385
and you haven't even signed
your second client yet.
108
00:04:16,952 --> 00:04:19,563
You know what?
Okay. All right. You right.
109
00:04:19,607 --> 00:04:21,435
It's not fair to abandon
you like that, man.
110
00:04:21,478 --> 00:04:23,306
I take care of it, all right?
111
00:04:23,350 --> 00:04:25,308
Uh, just out of curiosity,
112
00:04:25,352 --> 00:04:27,397
how old were y'all
when he took them baths?
113
00:04:27,441 --> 00:04:29,747
12 and 10,
but he had a wild imagination.
114
00:04:29,791 --> 00:04:31,488
He used to think that sharks
are gonna come up
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00:04:31,532 --> 00:04:33,360
through the pipes
and bite them on the pee-pee.
116
00:04:33,403 --> 00:04:35,666
Another image I didn't need.
117
00:04:37,799 --> 00:04:40,149
And this year's holiday
spectacular is gonna be
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00:04:40,192 --> 00:04:41,672
even bigger than last year's.
119
00:04:41,716 --> 00:04:43,631
We're gonna broadcast
for seven hours straight.
120
00:04:43,674 --> 00:04:45,546
We're gonna have activities
and performances
121
00:04:45,589 --> 00:04:46,938
for the community to enjoy
122
00:04:46,982 --> 00:04:50,420
and a huge holiday toy drive
for the kids.
123
00:04:50,464 --> 00:04:52,422
Oh, I brought something
for the kids.
124
00:04:52,466 --> 00:04:55,425
- Oh.
- Say hello to Pam Chop.
125
00:04:55,469 --> 00:04:57,297
[laughter]
126
00:04:57,340 --> 00:04:59,777
Her mouth
is as dirty as she is.
127
00:04:59,821 --> 00:05:02,606
Hey, kid. You ever wonder
why your [bleep]
128
00:05:02,650 --> 00:05:04,434
is so close to your [bleep]?
129
00:05:04,478 --> 00:05:06,958
[laughter]
- Okay.
130
00:05:07,002 --> 00:05:09,309
Pam, you said that if I took
you off the sports desk,
131
00:05:09,352 --> 00:05:10,832
I could trust you
to host this thing.
132
00:05:10,875 --> 00:05:12,877
It's not my fault people
want their Pam edgy.
133
00:05:12,921 --> 00:05:15,880
Come on, Mika,
you just got to believe
134
00:05:15,924 --> 00:05:20,320
that we're gonna kick butt and
have a very Merry Christmas.
135
00:05:20,363 --> 00:05:22,496
Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho.
136
00:05:22,539 --> 00:05:24,541
Uh-uh, Santa don't roll
with that many hos.
137
00:05:24,585 --> 00:05:27,283
Oh, yeah. No, the five hos
is how I make it my own.
138
00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:29,807
Yeah, I believe in the industry
we call it a "penta-ho"
139
00:05:29,851 --> 00:05:31,635
Don't try me, Santa.
Now, where's Gary?
140
00:05:31,679 --> 00:05:33,376
We finally got the blood
out of his elf costume.
141
00:05:33,420 --> 00:05:34,986
He'll be here.
142
00:05:35,030 --> 00:05:36,814
But remember, it's your
responsibility to keep him safe
143
00:05:36,858 --> 00:05:38,338
from those
little biters this year.
144
00:05:38,381 --> 00:05:41,645
Yes, I am aware of my duties
as executive producer,
145
00:05:41,689 --> 00:05:43,734
which is basically
doing everything by myself
146
00:05:43,778 --> 00:05:47,738
while you fools add extra hos
and making nasty socks talk.
147
00:05:47,782 --> 00:05:51,525
[softly] Mika, I can't speak
for them or myself really.
148
00:05:51,568 --> 00:05:54,049
I am resting my voice
for the musical finale,
149
00:05:54,092 --> 00:05:56,007
but I won't let you down.
150
00:05:56,051 --> 00:05:58,836
Thank you, Tami.
Song is gonna be great.
151
00:05:58,880 --> 00:06:01,752
Phil, you ready
to stroke those keys?
152
00:06:01,796 --> 00:06:03,101
Thanks to my Zoom
cooking class,
153
00:06:03,145 --> 00:06:05,147
I won't be stroking anything
for a long time.
154
00:06:05,190 --> 00:06:07,497
- Well, if you need some help--
- Not a word, Pam Chop.
155
00:06:07,541 --> 00:06:10,718
Great. How am I going to find
a keyboard player on Christmas?
156
00:06:10,761 --> 00:06:12,197
My father-in-law could do it.
157
00:06:12,241 --> 00:06:13,895
I mean, he's already here
watching the girls.
158
00:06:13,938 --> 00:06:15,766
- I thought he played the sax.
- He plays it all--
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00:06:15,810 --> 00:06:19,379
bongos, congos, anything that
leads to the horizontal mambo.
160
00:06:19,422 --> 00:06:21,685
I thought I played
a sax once.
161
00:06:21,729 --> 00:06:24,079
Turns out it was a [bleep]
- Pam Chop!
162
00:06:24,122 --> 00:06:26,951
[holiday music]
163
00:06:26,995 --> 00:06:33,262
♪
164
00:06:33,305 --> 00:06:35,569
Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho.
165
00:06:35,612 --> 00:06:38,136
No. Six is too many.
I heard it when I said.
166
00:06:38,180 --> 00:06:41,836
- I liked it.
- Thank you, man. Uh, who this?
167
00:06:41,879 --> 00:06:44,055
This is Jordan,
your early Christmas present.
168
00:06:44,099 --> 00:06:46,406
Cool. I mean, does he sing
or make waffles?
169
00:06:46,449 --> 00:06:47,668
'Cause
that would be really cool.
170
00:06:47,711 --> 00:06:49,365
He's your new assistant.
171
00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:50,975
But, no, I can sing, and I'll
be happy to get you a waffle.
172
00:06:51,019 --> 00:06:52,934
Do you prefer syrup
or whipped cream?
173
00:06:52,977 --> 00:06:54,892
As a matter of fact, I'll just
bring you both--one second.
174
00:06:54,936 --> 00:06:56,633
So, uh, what's up with dude?
175
00:06:56,677 --> 00:06:58,113
Look, man,
I heard what you said
176
00:06:58,156 --> 00:06:59,897
about dropping the ball,
and you were so right.
177
00:06:59,941 --> 00:07:01,246
So I fixed the problem.
[chuckles]
178
00:07:01,290 --> 00:07:02,552
Yeah, but I thought
179
00:07:02,596 --> 00:07:04,249
you was gonna blow off
that other client.
180
00:07:04,293 --> 00:07:07,731
I mean, has Jordan even had
any previous elfing experience?
181
00:07:07,775 --> 00:07:09,733
You don't need experience
to get bit
182
00:07:09,777 --> 00:07:11,735
by a bunch of damn kids.
183
00:07:11,779 --> 00:07:14,259
Look, whatever you need,
he got you.
184
00:07:14,303 --> 00:07:15,652
I don't know.
185
00:07:15,696 --> 00:07:18,263
♪ I've got waffles
for Kenan ♪
186
00:07:18,307 --> 00:07:19,351
♪ Ooh, yeah
187
00:07:19,395 --> 00:07:21,528
♪ Syrup and whipped cream
188
00:07:21,571 --> 00:07:23,530
♪ Ooh, yeah, hey
189
00:07:23,573 --> 00:07:24,922
Brother got waffles
and a perfect pitch.
190
00:07:24,966 --> 00:07:27,055
Y'all have fun.
Ooh, off to my meeting.
191
00:07:27,098 --> 00:07:30,493
Damn. I guess I don't want
to let this go to waste.
192
00:07:30,537 --> 00:07:31,755
♪ Ooh, yeah, tastes good
193
00:07:31,799 --> 00:07:33,583
- You can wait outside.
- Yes, sir.
194
00:07:35,629 --> 00:07:39,241
Okay, no pressure, everyone,
but this performance
195
00:07:39,284 --> 00:07:41,939
could be my ticket
out of this Podunk town.
196
00:07:41,983 --> 00:07:43,506
What's a Podunk town?
197
00:07:43,550 --> 00:07:45,203
It's a town where most people
aren't vaccinated.
198
00:07:45,247 --> 00:07:48,772
Hey, ladies, focus.
Rick, hit it.
199
00:07:48,816 --> 00:07:50,470
Uh, not yet.
200
00:07:50,513 --> 00:07:53,864
I have this little issue that
I need to bring to the band.
201
00:07:53,908 --> 00:07:55,387
- Okay.
- [clears throat]
202
00:07:55,431 --> 00:07:57,172
I should sing lead.
- Ha!
203
00:07:57,215 --> 00:07:59,870
Excuse me?
I'm an incredible singer.
204
00:07:59,914 --> 00:08:01,698
Yeah, but I'm a professional.
205
00:08:01,742 --> 00:08:03,526
I'm used to being front
and center,
206
00:08:03,570 --> 00:08:06,007
and you're used to playing
second fiddle
207
00:08:06,050 --> 00:08:07,878
on Kenan's morning show.
208
00:08:07,922 --> 00:08:09,184
No offense.
209
00:08:09,227 --> 00:08:11,229
- Ooh.
- [gasps]
210
00:08:11,273 --> 00:08:13,101
Rick, I sing lead.
211
00:08:13,144 --> 00:08:14,537
That's why we're called
212
00:08:14,581 --> 00:08:17,322
Tami and the "Wake Up"
Christmas Band.
213
00:08:17,366 --> 00:08:21,065
Now, stop being such a diva
and do as I say.
214
00:08:21,109 --> 00:08:24,112
[chuckles]
215
00:08:24,155 --> 00:08:26,288
There's only one diva
in this room,
216
00:08:26,331 --> 00:08:30,466
and it ain't me
or her, her, them or him.
217
00:08:32,990 --> 00:08:35,863
- I think he's saying it's you.
- I get it, Bruce!
218
00:08:38,692 --> 00:08:39,867
Welcome to the
219
00:08:39,910 --> 00:08:43,610
"Wake Up with Kenan"
Holiday Spectacular.
220
00:08:43,653 --> 00:08:46,569
We have got hours
of fun in store.
221
00:08:46,613 --> 00:08:50,878
We'll even show you how
to stuff your Christmas goose.
222
00:08:50,921 --> 00:08:52,923
Uh...
223
00:08:52,967 --> 00:08:55,143
So...
224
00:08:56,753 --> 00:09:00,540
A goose is when somebody
pokes you in the tushy.
225
00:09:00,583 --> 00:09:02,846
Prompter is out.
Oh.
226
00:09:02,890 --> 00:09:04,761
We're all living
in Pam Chop's world now
227
00:09:04,805 --> 00:09:07,329
You want to hear a limerick?
I love limericks.
228
00:09:07,372 --> 00:09:09,679
There once was an elf
from Nantucket.
229
00:09:09,723 --> 00:09:11,115
Yeah, and then what?
230
00:09:11,159 --> 00:09:13,117
Well, I can't remember
what rhymes with Nantucket.
231
00:09:13,161 --> 00:09:15,642
Hmm.
Oh, I remember.
232
00:09:15,685 --> 00:09:17,600
[stammers]
233
00:09:17,644 --> 00:09:21,561
From the North Pole,
please welcome Santa.
234
00:09:22,910 --> 00:09:28,393
Ho-ho-ho, ho-ho-ho-ho.
Merry Christmas, Atlanta.
235
00:09:28,437 --> 00:09:30,613
Kenan Claus wants you
to bring an unwrapped toy
236
00:09:30,657 --> 00:09:33,442
down here to Santa's village.
237
00:09:33,485 --> 00:09:35,531
That's right. We've got games.
238
00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:38,665
We've got food, and we've got
a reindeer petting zoo,
239
00:09:38,708 --> 00:09:41,972
which is really just
a bunch of dogs with horns.
240
00:09:42,016 --> 00:09:43,017
We'll see you soon.
241
00:09:43,060 --> 00:09:44,584
All right, thanks.
242
00:09:46,368 --> 00:09:47,804
- That was great work, boss.
- Hey!
243
00:09:47,848 --> 00:09:50,502
Dang, bro, back up, man.
I was about to piece you up.
244
00:09:50,546 --> 00:09:51,982
Sorry. I just wanted
to let you know
245
00:09:52,026 --> 00:09:54,506
I got you some heating gels
to warm up your hands
246
00:09:54,550 --> 00:09:57,031
and a peppermint mocha
to warm up your belly.
247
00:09:57,074 --> 00:10:00,556
Look, man, you're trying
too hard, all right?
248
00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:03,341
Let me explain
to you what I'm used to, okay?
249
00:10:03,385 --> 00:10:05,256
You say you're gonna go pick up
my dry cleaning,
250
00:10:05,300 --> 00:10:07,650
and then you show up two days
later wearing the clothes.
251
00:10:07,694 --> 00:10:09,739
Oh, okay, I'm sorry.
I'll work on that.
252
00:10:09,783 --> 00:10:11,523
Do you have any other
constructive criticism for me?
253
00:10:11,567 --> 00:10:13,177
Oh, no, all the construction
is done, man.
254
00:10:13,221 --> 00:10:14,831
Appreciate that--
255
00:10:14,875 --> 00:10:16,572
Stop being so smart.
256
00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:19,009
Okay, dumb it down,
dumb it down--I can do that.
257
00:10:19,053 --> 00:10:21,011
[upbeat holiday music]
258
00:10:21,055 --> 00:10:22,360
♪ Christmas
259
00:10:22,404 --> 00:10:24,841
♪ The snow is coming down
260
00:10:24,885 --> 00:10:26,103
♪ Christmas
261
00:10:26,147 --> 00:10:28,497
♪ I am watching it fall
262
00:10:28,540 --> 00:10:30,281
♪ Christmas
263
00:10:30,325 --> 00:10:33,023
both: ♪ Lots of people around
264
00:10:33,067 --> 00:10:34,198
Whoa, extra voice!
265
00:10:34,242 --> 00:10:35,852
Well, you were just so sharp
266
00:10:35,896 --> 00:10:38,333
that I thought a little bass
would even things out.
267
00:10:38,376 --> 00:10:40,378
Did someone say bass?
[plays notes]
268
00:10:40,422 --> 00:10:42,554
When I want bass,
I'll ask for bass, Bruce.
269
00:10:42,598 --> 00:10:45,514
- [plays note]
- And I wasn't sharp.
270
00:10:45,557 --> 00:10:47,429
Let's ask Trish.
271
00:10:47,472 --> 00:10:49,039
Trish, was Tami sharp?
272
00:10:49,083 --> 00:10:50,693
Whatever you say, baby.
273
00:10:50,737 --> 00:10:52,826
- Who is Trish?
- She's my muse.
274
00:10:52,869 --> 00:10:55,002
I met her outside
at the candy applecart.
275
00:10:55,045 --> 00:10:56,438
- Welcome, Trish.
- Thanks.
276
00:10:56,481 --> 00:10:58,135
Don't welcome Trish.
277
00:10:58,179 --> 00:10:59,746
And Trish doesn't get a vote.
278
00:10:59,789 --> 00:11:02,749
Trish is just as much
a part of this band as anybody.
279
00:11:02,792 --> 00:11:04,794
Okay, I've had it.
I've had it!
280
00:11:04,838 --> 00:11:06,491
Ha ha!
281
00:11:08,058 --> 00:11:09,712
Okay, people,
I need a cleanup crew.
282
00:11:09,756 --> 00:11:11,801
Someone done barfed
all over the gingerbread house.
283
00:11:11,845 --> 00:11:13,629
Ooh, careful.
[bell dinging]
284
00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:16,197
That will be a boo-boo for you
and a lot of paperwork for me.
285
00:11:16,240 --> 00:11:18,721
Okay, everybody--
286
00:11:18,765 --> 00:11:21,158
Thank you.
287
00:11:21,202 --> 00:11:23,334
Oh.
288
00:11:23,378 --> 00:11:24,727
Do you know you are
the first person
289
00:11:24,771 --> 00:11:26,729
who has thanked me
at work in ten years?
290
00:11:26,773 --> 00:11:29,471
Everyone else thinks I'm here
to solve their problems.
291
00:11:29,514 --> 00:11:31,255
Mika, I have a problem.
292
00:11:31,299 --> 00:11:32,735
- Me too.
- Here.
293
00:11:32,779 --> 00:11:34,955
Go buy yourself
a bucket of kettle corn.
294
00:11:36,608 --> 00:11:37,914
What y'all got?
295
00:11:37,958 --> 00:11:40,003
- He's impossible.
- [chuckles derisively]
296
00:11:40,047 --> 00:11:43,877
She's a nightmare.
You got to choose--me or Tami.
297
00:11:43,920 --> 00:11:46,836
- Tami.
- Wait a minute, wait.
298
00:11:46,880 --> 00:11:48,751
Don't you want to take a moment
and think about that?
299
00:11:48,795 --> 00:11:52,886
Nah, Tami works here, and you
live in Kenan's basement.
300
00:11:52,929 --> 00:11:55,453
- It's a converted garage.
- Mm...
301
00:11:55,497 --> 00:11:57,238
Okay, fine.
You're probably right.
302
00:11:57,281 --> 00:11:59,675
It's just been a long time
since I've got to lead a band,
303
00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:00,981
and I--
304
00:12:01,024 --> 00:12:04,680
[sighs] That was just
the best part of my life.
305
00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:06,464
Maybe I just went
a little overboard
306
00:12:06,508 --> 00:12:09,641
trying to get
that feeling back.
307
00:12:09,685 --> 00:12:12,862
[explosion]
- Mika, the gift van exploded!
308
00:12:12,906 --> 00:12:13,994
Okay. Excuse me.
309
00:12:14,037 --> 00:12:16,126
I have to go put out
a literal fire.
310
00:12:16,170 --> 00:12:18,781
Here, go buy yourself
a bucket of kettle corn.
311
00:12:18,825 --> 00:12:20,522
I told y'all not
to put fireworks--
312
00:12:20,565 --> 00:12:24,265
All right, well,
I guess this band is yours.
313
00:12:24,308 --> 00:12:26,354
Merry Christmas
314
00:12:27,703 --> 00:12:29,487
I mean,
people have been doing
315
00:12:29,531 --> 00:12:30,967
"your mama" jokes for years.
316
00:12:31,011 --> 00:12:33,056
Then you come out
with "your papa" jokes?
317
00:12:33,100 --> 00:12:34,884
[scoffs]
Game changed.
318
00:12:34,928 --> 00:12:36,712
- It's an untapped gold mine.
- Mm-hmm.
319
00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:38,018
Plus, I hate my mama.
320
00:12:38,061 --> 00:12:39,280
Yeah.
321
00:12:39,323 --> 00:12:41,151
You said that several times.
- Mm-hmm.
322
00:12:41,195 --> 00:12:43,719
Well, look,
I'm here to manage your career.
323
00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:45,982
And unlike your mama,
I'ma always give you
324
00:12:46,026 --> 00:12:48,550
my undivided attention.
- Okay.
325
00:12:48,593 --> 00:12:51,901
[cell phone vibrating]
326
00:12:51,945 --> 00:12:54,817
Uh, and I'm still giving you
my undivided attention,
327
00:12:54,861 --> 00:12:56,688
but I do got to take this--
one second.
328
00:12:56,732 --> 00:12:58,125
Kenan, what's up, man?
You good?
329
00:12:58,168 --> 00:12:59,691
Man. Hell, no!
330
00:12:59,735 --> 00:13:01,955
Your fancy-ass assistant
up and quit on me.
331
00:13:01,998 --> 00:13:03,739
What? What do you mean
Jordan quit?
332
00:13:03,783 --> 00:13:06,350
He's like the most responsible
person I ever met in my life.
333
00:13:06,394 --> 00:13:07,743
Yeah, well, he packed up
334
00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:09,484
his delicious little waffles
and bounced.
335
00:13:09,527 --> 00:13:11,007
What's up with that, man?
336
00:13:11,051 --> 00:13:12,530
It is bad enough that Black
Santa has got to work
337
00:13:12,574 --> 00:13:13,749
twice as hard
to get half as far.
338
00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:15,533
I need you here now, bro.
339
00:13:15,577 --> 00:13:18,493
[sighs] All right.
Okay, I'm on my way, man.
340
00:13:18,536 --> 00:13:20,190
Thank you.
341
00:13:20,234 --> 00:13:21,583
Hey, so, uh,
342
00:13:21,626 --> 00:13:23,846
got to go to go take care
of something real quick.
343
00:13:23,890 --> 00:13:25,369
I'm so sorry.
You got this?
344
00:13:25,413 --> 00:13:27,545
- No.
- Well, run.
345
00:13:31,941 --> 00:13:34,465
[indistinct chatter]
346
00:13:34,509 --> 00:13:38,252
- Hi, Santa.
- Hi.
347
00:13:38,295 --> 00:13:40,384
Hey, I'm sorry I'm late,
but I'm here.
348
00:13:40,428 --> 00:13:43,083
Man, you coming in late
is right on time.
349
00:13:43,126 --> 00:13:44,693
So, um, how did it go
with Shaunda.
350
00:13:44,736 --> 00:13:48,740
Oh, man, that's dead,
but, you know, I'm cool.
351
00:13:48,784 --> 00:13:50,481
Hey, they got the blood
out the suit.
352
00:13:50,525 --> 00:13:52,657
Nothing too good
for my little Gary Gumdrop.
353
00:13:52,701 --> 00:13:54,224
That's my elf name
for you this year.
354
00:13:54,268 --> 00:13:55,704
Come on, let's do this, man.
355
00:13:55,747 --> 00:13:57,401
All right, man, one second.
[cell phone vibrating]
356
00:13:57,445 --> 00:13:58,925
What the hell are you
calling me for, Jordan?
357
00:13:58,968 --> 00:14:02,058
You make Gary Gumdrop
look as dumb as hell.
358
00:14:02,102 --> 00:14:03,625
Wait, Kenan did what?
359
00:14:03,668 --> 00:14:06,541
Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho.
[kids cheering]
360
00:14:12,808 --> 00:14:14,244
Oh, don't worry,
361
00:14:14,288 --> 00:14:15,550
I'm just packing up my gear.
362
00:14:15,593 --> 00:14:18,074
I'll be out of your way
in a second.
363
00:14:18,118 --> 00:14:21,469
[hoarsely] Actually, all that
arguing blew out my voice,
364
00:14:21,512 --> 00:14:24,689
so the band could use
a singer after all.
365
00:14:24,733 --> 00:14:26,256
Really?
366
00:14:26,300 --> 00:14:29,172
You sure you're not
just throwing me a bone
367
00:14:29,216 --> 00:14:31,218
because of the Christmas spirit
and all?
368
00:14:31,261 --> 00:14:32,784
Have you met me?
369
00:14:32,828 --> 00:14:35,918
Are you sure you didn't bow out
as a way to sort of say
370
00:14:35,962 --> 00:14:38,442
"sorry things got out of hand"?
371
00:14:38,486 --> 00:14:41,097
- Have you met me?
- Good.
372
00:14:41,141 --> 00:14:42,794
Then neither of us
are apologizing
373
00:14:42,838 --> 00:14:45,188
just 'cause
it's Jesus's birthday
374
00:14:45,232 --> 00:14:46,537
Deal.
375
00:14:51,978 --> 00:14:53,849
And it almost hit me.
376
00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:56,156
Well, I'm so sorry
about the train incident there,
377
00:14:56,199 --> 00:14:57,548
little Timmy, but not to worry.
378
00:14:57,592 --> 00:14:59,463
My elf has got a gift for you.
379
00:14:59,507 --> 00:15:02,118
Ain't that right--Hey!
[crowd gasps]
380
00:15:02,162 --> 00:15:04,338
Uh...
381
00:15:04,381 --> 00:15:06,818
looks like Garry Gumdrop
has been training
382
00:15:06,862 --> 00:15:08,081
for the Elf-lympics
383
00:15:08,124 --> 00:15:09,952
to probably represent
the powerful country
384
00:15:09,996 --> 00:15:11,954
of Elf-Salvador
or something like that.
385
00:15:11,998 --> 00:15:13,477
No, I ain't, kid.
386
00:15:13,521 --> 00:15:15,610
Santa's lying because
he is as selfish as hell.
387
00:15:15,653 --> 00:15:18,265
[crowd gasps]
- Hey, what's going on, man?
388
00:15:18,308 --> 00:15:19,614
You lose your scripts
or something?
389
00:15:19,657 --> 00:15:21,050
Jordan didn't quit.
You fired him.
390
00:15:21,094 --> 00:15:22,922
[crowd oohs]
391
00:15:22,965 --> 00:15:24,184
Ooh is right children.
392
00:15:24,227 --> 00:15:25,968
You made me leave
the most important meeting
393
00:15:26,012 --> 00:15:27,187
in my career for nothing.
394
00:15:27,230 --> 00:15:29,102
Okay, yes. All right.
I fired him.
395
00:15:29,145 --> 00:15:30,886
But it's only because
396
00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:32,801
none of this would be right
without you.
397
00:15:32,844 --> 00:15:34,498
So can we talk
about this later?
398
00:15:34,542 --> 00:15:36,109
We are on TV right now.
399
00:15:36,152 --> 00:15:39,764
Mm-mm, no. The reckoning
is happening right now, man,
400
00:15:39,808 --> 00:15:42,506
'cause you always got to be the
big dog with me in your shadow.
401
00:15:42,550 --> 00:15:43,855
That is not true.
402
00:15:43,899 --> 00:15:45,553
Then why do you always
get to be Santa,
403
00:15:45,596 --> 00:15:47,642
and I got to be the elf
with some stupid-ass name
404
00:15:47,685 --> 00:15:49,296
and these stupid big old shoes?
405
00:15:49,339 --> 00:15:50,906
You know what? I'm done.
406
00:15:52,473 --> 00:15:55,345
[crowd gasps]
407
00:15:55,389 --> 00:15:57,086
[shouting indistinctly]
408
00:15:57,130 --> 00:15:58,783
Uh, ladies and gentlemen,
409
00:15:58,827 --> 00:16:02,048
that concludes our Christmas
adaptation of August Wilson's,
410
00:16:02,091 --> 00:16:03,832
" Santa's Black Bottom."
411
00:16:03,875 --> 00:16:05,529
Uh, thank you.
412
00:16:05,573 --> 00:16:07,531
Go on, take a bow there, Timmy.
Thank you very much.
413
00:16:07,575 --> 00:16:09,707
All right, everybody,
we're back in three minutes..
414
00:16:09,751 --> 00:16:12,362
Back in three minutes,
everyone, for outer six.
415
00:16:12,406 --> 00:16:15,626
Let's get Pam...
- [sighs]
416
00:16:15,670 --> 00:16:17,454
Whew.
417
00:16:20,153 --> 00:16:22,285
Hmm.
418
00:16:22,329 --> 00:16:24,679
Do you just sneak into
my office all the time
419
00:16:24,722 --> 00:16:26,724
or just on major holidays?
420
00:16:26,768 --> 00:16:31,338
I am so sorry. I-I just
needed a moment to myself.
421
00:16:31,381 --> 00:16:33,557
- Hey, I get it.
- Yeah.
422
00:16:33,601 --> 00:16:37,300
I don't know
what to do about Gary.
423
00:16:37,344 --> 00:16:39,172
Okay.
424
00:16:39,215 --> 00:16:40,521
I am listening.
425
00:16:40,564 --> 00:16:42,001
I mean, it's not
426
00:16:42,044 --> 00:16:44,829
that I don't want him
to be more successful than me.
427
00:16:44,873 --> 00:16:46,788
I want him to have
other clients.
428
00:16:46,831 --> 00:16:49,225
Well, if it's not about the
clients, then what's it about?
429
00:16:49,269 --> 00:16:50,661
Man, I don't know.
It just--
430
00:16:50,705 --> 00:16:52,924
Christmas used to be
such a special day between us.
431
00:16:52,968 --> 00:16:54,491
Kenan, it's one day.
432
00:16:54,535 --> 00:16:56,624
Yeah, and if he's busy on
this one day
433
00:16:56,667 --> 00:16:58,930
with his other clients,
then the rest of the days
434
00:16:58,974 --> 00:17:01,281
of the year
ain't gonna stand chance.
435
00:17:01,324 --> 00:17:04,588
I think your relationship can
survive a little more distance.
436
00:17:04,632 --> 00:17:06,764
I mean, I heard y'all
bathe together, so, like...
437
00:17:06,808 --> 00:17:09,245
- Yeah, when we were babies.
- Oh, we calling 13 a baby now?
438
00:17:09,289 --> 00:17:12,074
Look, the point is
439
00:17:12,118 --> 00:17:15,730
I'm just not ready
to lose my little Gare bro.
440
00:17:15,773 --> 00:17:18,646
Well, do you want them
to just be your Gare bro,
441
00:17:18,689 --> 00:17:21,083
or do you want him
to be his own person?
442
00:17:21,127 --> 00:17:22,780
[sighs]
443
00:17:22,824 --> 00:17:24,956
Sounds like a trick question,
but I know it's not.
444
00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:26,567
Mm-hmm.
445
00:17:26,610 --> 00:17:29,439
Well, I'll let you
think about it.
446
00:17:29,483 --> 00:17:30,919
Is there, uh,
anything else you want
447
00:17:30,962 --> 00:17:34,488
to say to old Mika
for helping you out?
448
00:17:34,531 --> 00:17:36,620
- No, I'm good.
- Okay.
449
00:17:39,797 --> 00:17:43,845
[upbeat music]
450
00:17:43,888 --> 00:17:46,456
Attention, everyone--
our holiday musical finale
451
00:17:46,500 --> 00:17:49,807
will begin shortly
on the main stage.
452
00:17:49,851 --> 00:17:52,201
- Hey.
- What you doing here?
453
00:17:52,245 --> 00:17:54,160
Ain't Santa Claus supposed to
be closing the show
454
00:17:54,203 --> 00:17:55,900
in a few minutes?
455
00:17:55,944 --> 00:17:57,424
Uh, yes, he is.
456
00:17:57,467 --> 00:18:00,427
So you better get on up there.
457
00:18:00,470 --> 00:18:01,993
I want you to be the big man.
458
00:18:02,037 --> 00:18:03,256
Please,
you're just doing this
459
00:18:03,299 --> 00:18:04,561
to make yourself feel better.
460
00:18:04,605 --> 00:18:06,563
Oh! Uh...
461
00:18:06,607 --> 00:18:09,653
no, actually,
I'm doing it for you.
462
00:18:09,697 --> 00:18:12,134
And I told Shaunda
to come down here.
463
00:18:12,178 --> 00:18:13,788
- She's here?
- Well, no.
464
00:18:13,831 --> 00:18:16,269
She actually told me to go
straight to hell, but I tried.
465
00:18:16,312 --> 00:18:18,140
Oh! All right.
You know what?
466
00:18:18,184 --> 00:18:20,142
I'ma just hold on
to this for you.
467
00:18:20,186 --> 00:18:22,275
[clears throat]
Look, man, I'm sorry.
468
00:18:22,318 --> 00:18:25,016
It's just--it's always been
the Williams brothers,
469
00:18:25,060 --> 00:18:26,801
and I don't want that
to change.
470
00:18:26,844 --> 00:18:29,934
It's not gonna change, man.
I'm not going nowhere.
471
00:18:29,978 --> 00:18:32,154
You're not hearing me.
472
00:18:32,198 --> 00:18:36,593
You are going places,
and you deserve to be...
473
00:18:36,637 --> 00:18:38,943
and I just got to be cool
with that.
474
00:18:38,987 --> 00:18:40,336
And I am.
475
00:18:42,686 --> 00:18:45,298
Excuse me, Vixen.
476
00:18:45,341 --> 00:18:47,387
Man, give me the damn suit.
477
00:18:47,430 --> 00:18:49,215
Yeah! That's my brother.
478
00:18:49,258 --> 00:18:51,826
Come on, man, let's calibrate
how many hos you gonna do
479
00:18:51,869 --> 00:18:53,088
so you can make it your own.
480
00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:56,309
Well, it has been
a wonderful day.
481
00:18:56,352 --> 00:18:58,485
Thank you everybody
for joining us.
482
00:18:58,528 --> 00:19:03,272
And now for our grand finale.
483
00:19:03,316 --> 00:19:05,535
Okay, people, listen up.
484
00:19:05,579 --> 00:19:07,842
We have one more song, and then
Christmas is finally over.
485
00:19:07,885 --> 00:19:09,583
Mika, we need you
on the stage quick.
486
00:19:09,626 --> 00:19:11,411
There's an emergency.
- What?
487
00:19:11,454 --> 00:19:13,848
What are you talking about?
488
00:19:13,891 --> 00:19:16,764
[cheers and applause]
489
00:19:20,898 --> 00:19:22,683
Hi, everybody.
490
00:19:22,726 --> 00:19:25,251
I just want to introduce y'all
to our executive producer,
491
00:19:25,294 --> 00:19:26,774
Mika Caldwell,
492
00:19:26,817 --> 00:19:29,559
who makes today and every day
around here possible.
493
00:19:29,603 --> 00:19:32,649
And she thinks we don't notice,
but, Mika, we love you.
494
00:19:32,693 --> 00:19:35,522
Thank you so very much
for all you do.
495
00:19:35,565 --> 00:19:37,698
Mika Caldwell!
[cheers and applause]
496
00:19:37,741 --> 00:19:39,308
Oh, Tami!
497
00:19:39,352 --> 00:19:41,049
Y'all appreciate me. Okay.
498
00:19:41,092 --> 00:19:42,659
Yes, we do
appreciate you, Mika.
499
00:19:42,703 --> 00:19:44,879
All right, Santa,
you want to light the tree?
500
00:19:44,922 --> 00:19:47,098
[clears throat]
501
00:19:47,142 --> 00:19:51,233
Merry Christmas everyone.
Ho-ho.
502
00:19:51,277 --> 00:19:54,105
Two hos, brilliant.
503
00:19:54,149 --> 00:19:57,413
[all gasp,
cheers and applause]
504
00:19:57,457 --> 00:19:58,719
Okay.
505
00:19:58,762 --> 00:20:00,764
[holiday music playing]
506
00:20:00,808 --> 00:20:02,375
♪ Christmas
507
00:20:02,418 --> 00:20:04,725
♪ The snow is coming down
508
00:20:04,768 --> 00:20:05,987
♪ Christmas
509
00:20:06,030 --> 00:20:08,729
♪ I'm watching it fall
510
00:20:08,772 --> 00:20:10,121
♪ Christmas
511
00:20:10,165 --> 00:20:12,559
♪ Lots of people around
512
00:20:12,602 --> 00:20:16,127
- ♪ Christmas
- ♪ Baby, please come home
513
00:20:16,171 --> 00:20:18,129
♪ Christmas
514
00:20:18,173 --> 00:20:20,131
♪ The church bells in town
515
00:20:20,175 --> 00:20:21,916
♪ Christmas
516
00:20:21,959 --> 00:20:24,397
♪ All ringing in song
517
00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:25,963
♪ Christmas
518
00:20:26,007 --> 00:20:28,183
♪ Full of happy sounds
519
00:20:28,227 --> 00:20:29,532
♪ Christmas
520
00:20:29,576 --> 00:20:32,579
♪ Baby, please come home
521
00:20:32,622 --> 00:20:36,626
♪ They're singing
"Deck The Halls" ♪
522
00:20:36,670 --> 00:20:40,282
♪ But it's not like
Christmas at all ♪
523
00:20:40,326 --> 00:20:44,286
♪ 'Cause I remember
when you were here ♪
524
00:20:44,330 --> 00:20:48,725
♪ And all the fun
we had last year ♪
525
00:20:48,769 --> 00:20:50,771
- ♪ Please
- ♪ Please
526
00:20:50,814 --> 00:20:53,600
- ♪ Please
- Take us home, Tami.
527
00:20:53,643 --> 00:20:57,865
♪ Please, baby, please
come home ♪
528
00:20:57,908 --> 00:21:02,478
[cheers and applause]
529
00:21:02,522 --> 00:21:06,787
♪ Baby, please come home
530
00:21:06,830 --> 00:21:09,398
♪ Baby, please come home
- Yeah, go on, girl!
531
00:21:09,442 --> 00:21:13,228
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
532
00:21:13,272 --> 00:21:16,405
[cheers and applause]
533
00:21:16,449 --> 00:21:19,756
- Merry Christmas, everybody!
- Oh, thank you.
534
00:21:19,800 --> 00:21:21,628
I'm feeling better.
535
00:21:21,671 --> 00:21:23,717
Merry Christmas, Pam.
Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho.
536
00:21:23,767 --> 00:21:28,317
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