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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:23,212 --> 00:00:26,648 When Judy Benjamin was 8, she told her best friend her life's desire. 2 00:00:26,892 --> 00:00:29,531 "All I want," Judy whispered, "is a big house... 3 00:00:29,772 --> 00:00:33,447 ...nice clothes, a maid and a professional man for a husband." 4 00:00:33,692 --> 00:00:35,922 Today, all of Judy's dreams come true. 5 00:00:36,412 --> 00:00:39,484 With this ring be thou consecrated unto me as my wife. 6 00:00:39,772 --> 00:00:42,240 According to the law of Moses and faith of Israel. 7 00:00:42,652 --> 00:00:45,166 According to the law of Moses and faith of Israel. 8 00:00:45,412 --> 00:00:48,245 And you, Judy, say to Yale these words. 9 00:00:48,492 --> 00:00:49,845 Take the ring. 10 00:00:52,572 --> 00:00:55,564 This ring is a symbol that you are my husband. 11 00:00:55,812 --> 00:00:58,087 This ring is a symbol that you are my husband. 12 00:00:58,332 --> 00:01:00,402 And a sign of my love and devotion. 13 00:01:00,652 --> 00:01:02,449 And a sign of my love and devotion. 14 00:01:03,052 --> 00:01:04,929 In the presence of these witnesses... 15 00:01:05,172 --> 00:01:07,367 ...you spoke words and performed the rites... 16 00:01:07,612 --> 00:01:09,648 ...which unite your lives. 17 00:01:09,892 --> 00:01:12,281 I therefore declare you, Yale and Judy... 18 00:01:12,612 --> 00:01:14,682 ...husband and wife. 19 00:01:16,132 --> 00:01:17,406 Step on it. 20 00:01:20,252 --> 00:01:21,162 Mazel tov! 21 00:01:31,652 --> 00:01:35,804 PRIVATE BENJAMIN 22 00:03:08,812 --> 00:03:11,565 But I only have eyes 23 00:03:12,492 --> 00:03:14,403 For you 24 00:03:14,852 --> 00:03:17,446 Judy Goodman 25 00:03:18,092 --> 00:03:19,081 Do you have a date? 26 00:03:19,332 --> 00:03:23,041 No, I told your Uncle Phil I'd meet him to look at his lease. 27 00:03:23,292 --> 00:03:26,250 - You're not going to work now? - No, I'm not going to work. 28 00:03:26,492 --> 00:03:29,370 He thinks he's getting evicted. Let me just talk to him. 29 00:03:29,612 --> 00:03:30,840 Okay? 30 00:03:31,532 --> 00:03:34,410 - Thanks for marrying me. - You're welcome. 31 00:03:35,492 --> 00:03:37,244 Get me a Perrier with a twist? 32 00:03:44,012 --> 00:03:46,651 - Arnie! - So you did it, huh? 33 00:03:47,932 --> 00:03:50,287 I can't believe you married Goodman... 34 00:03:50,532 --> 00:03:52,329 ...when you could've had me. 35 00:03:52,652 --> 00:03:54,882 I could have lived with you, Arnie. 36 00:03:55,172 --> 00:03:56,924 Big difference. 37 00:03:59,492 --> 00:04:00,561 Judy! 38 00:04:02,012 --> 00:04:05,561 Look who I found! Mr. Waxman, the upholsterer. 39 00:04:05,812 --> 00:04:09,885 I didn't recognize you without nails in your mouth. 40 00:04:10,972 --> 00:04:14,408 I brought a little something I think you're going to love. 41 00:04:22,972 --> 00:04:26,009 Mr. Waxman, you finished the ottoman! 42 00:04:26,252 --> 00:04:28,641 Yale will be thrilled. 43 00:04:29,412 --> 00:04:32,245 Wait a minute! Is this mushroom piping? 44 00:04:32,492 --> 00:04:35,245 Looks beige-y to me, Ma. This isn't the right color, is it? 45 00:04:35,492 --> 00:04:36,561 Ben... 46 00:04:36,812 --> 00:04:38,609 ...what happened to the mushroom? 47 00:04:38,852 --> 00:04:42,288 That's as close as you're going to get to mushroom in Philadelphia. 48 00:04:42,532 --> 00:04:45,365 Mr. Waxman, we've been through this a zillion times. 49 00:04:45,612 --> 00:04:48,604 I told you I'm doing Yale's study in mushroom. 50 00:04:49,572 --> 00:04:52,723 I'm sure you could've found a yard of mushroom fabric. 51 00:04:54,012 --> 00:04:56,367 You want it, I'll get it. 52 00:04:56,772 --> 00:04:58,842 This is your night! 53 00:05:00,932 --> 00:05:02,160 Wheels?! 54 00:05:02,412 --> 00:05:04,846 Mr. Waxman, I wanted upholstered balls. 55 00:05:06,852 --> 00:05:08,683 Upholstered balls? 56 00:05:19,292 --> 00:05:21,089 - Come on, Peanut. - Where're we going? 57 00:05:21,332 --> 00:05:23,209 - My feet hurt. - Your feet will be fine. 58 00:05:23,452 --> 00:05:24,680 I just want to talk to you. 59 00:05:32,932 --> 00:05:35,162 What? Want a divorce already? 60 00:05:35,412 --> 00:05:37,448 Darling, I have a very bad headache. 61 00:05:37,692 --> 00:05:41,685 No wonder, you've danced all night. I'll get some Tylenol from Mom. 62 00:05:41,972 --> 00:05:42,848 Sweetheart... 63 00:05:43,092 --> 00:05:45,128 ...it's not a Tylenol headache. 64 00:05:46,052 --> 00:05:47,690 - Honey! - Please? 65 00:05:47,972 --> 00:05:50,930 - Honey, not here! - Please, why not? Come on! 66 00:05:51,172 --> 00:05:53,845 Why? Because everybody I know is ten feet away. 67 00:05:54,092 --> 00:05:57,164 - They're having a good time. Please? - No, I'll ruin my dress. 68 00:05:57,412 --> 00:06:00,927 - Your dress is fine. Come on! - Honey, please? I don't want to. 69 00:06:04,652 --> 00:06:06,324 Kiss me first. 70 00:06:21,412 --> 00:06:22,845 I love you so much. 71 00:06:23,092 --> 00:06:24,411 Hi, Yale. 72 00:06:25,932 --> 00:06:28,810 Judy's always been a good girl. Always! 73 00:06:29,172 --> 00:06:31,481 She made a mistake with the first husband. 74 00:06:31,732 --> 00:06:35,645 That's ancient history. The smartest thing she ever did was to marry you. 75 00:06:35,892 --> 00:06:36,722 That's nice, Teddy. 76 00:06:36,972 --> 00:06:39,202 It's very important for a father to know... 77 00:06:39,452 --> 00:06:42,683 ...his daughter's going to be well taken care of. Don't laugh! 78 00:06:43,132 --> 00:06:46,044 You'll know what I mean when your daughter gets married. 79 00:06:46,292 --> 00:06:48,089 Anyway, that's number one. 80 00:06:48,332 --> 00:06:49,606 Number two! 81 00:06:49,892 --> 00:06:51,564 We'll still have Sunday breakfasts? 82 00:06:51,932 --> 00:06:53,524 - Of course, Daddy. - Good. 83 00:06:53,772 --> 00:06:56,081 You can get the whitefish on your way over. 84 00:06:56,532 --> 00:07:00,491 I want to give you two a little something from mother and me... 85 00:07:00,732 --> 00:07:02,131 ...a little extra happiness. 86 00:07:05,012 --> 00:07:07,651 I guess it's not carpeting for the living room. 87 00:07:10,212 --> 00:07:13,887 That's for the future, not Lord and Taylor, you little jerk! 88 00:07:17,332 --> 00:07:19,402 Teddy, you're amazing! 89 00:07:19,652 --> 00:07:22,724 It's my pleasure. Just use it in good health. 90 00:07:22,972 --> 00:07:24,325 Thanks, Mom. 91 00:07:24,692 --> 00:07:26,648 I'll show my mother, she'll go crazy! 92 00:07:27,332 --> 00:07:29,050 I can't believe it! 93 00:07:31,292 --> 00:07:32,884 Jude, get me a cigarette. 94 00:07:38,412 --> 00:07:39,606 Coming back inside, Daddy? 95 00:07:40,012 --> 00:07:42,845 I just want to see the recap of tonight's game. 96 00:07:43,692 --> 00:07:45,364 Should I wait for you here? 97 00:07:49,932 --> 00:07:51,126 Dad? 98 00:07:52,452 --> 00:07:54,249 Get me a match, doll. 99 00:08:07,172 --> 00:08:10,687 Jerry, if you call her you'll screw it up. That's my job, all right? 100 00:08:10,932 --> 00:08:11,762 No, to call her. 101 00:08:12,012 --> 00:08:15,971 How long you married? Anything more than 15 years, you lose the house. 102 00:08:16,252 --> 00:08:18,971 It's not my rule, that's just the way it is. 103 00:08:19,452 --> 00:08:21,124 Keep the boat, it's a male item. 104 00:08:22,532 --> 00:08:26,127 Prenups is the only way to get around this and it's too late. 105 00:08:26,972 --> 00:08:29,202 Give her the microwave, it's a built-in! 106 00:08:29,692 --> 00:08:32,365 It comes with the house. What'll you do with one oven? 107 00:08:33,612 --> 00:08:35,648 It's late now. 6:30 a.m. Monday... 108 00:08:35,892 --> 00:08:39,521 ...we'll play racquetball. We'll figure it out then. Can you wait? 109 00:08:39,772 --> 00:08:42,002 We'll be in Jamaica 6:30 Monday. 110 00:08:42,252 --> 00:08:43,844 I'll be on my honeymoon Monday. 111 00:08:44,092 --> 00:08:45,730 I'll call you from Jamaica. 112 00:08:45,972 --> 00:08:47,644 I don't know, from the hotel. 113 00:08:48,612 --> 00:08:51,331 No, you'll be halved at worst. You're okay. 114 00:08:51,852 --> 00:08:53,251 Prenups, babe! 115 00:08:56,492 --> 00:08:58,960 - That'll never happen to us. - I know. 116 00:08:59,332 --> 00:09:03,041 - Did this bathroom turn out gorgeous? - This ass is gorgeous. 117 00:09:03,292 --> 00:09:04,725 Come here. 118 00:09:06,852 --> 00:09:08,968 - What? - Wait, honey. 119 00:09:09,532 --> 00:09:11,045 Wait just one second. 120 00:09:11,292 --> 00:09:13,601 - Lift your back leg. - I don't have a back leg. 121 00:09:13,852 --> 00:09:18,323 It's our wedding night. It's not real romantic making love in the sink. 122 00:09:18,572 --> 00:09:21,803 - It's romantic making love anywhere. - I know. I love you. 123 00:09:22,052 --> 00:09:26,204 - Let's go into the bedroom. - We're going into the bedroom next. 124 00:09:27,092 --> 00:09:29,208 Just here. Good, sweetie! 125 00:09:29,852 --> 00:09:31,001 Honey, good! 126 00:09:33,252 --> 00:09:35,322 You're on my hair, get off my hair. 127 00:09:36,612 --> 00:09:37,567 How's that? 128 00:09:47,572 --> 00:09:49,722 - Oh, honey! - What? 129 00:09:52,772 --> 00:09:54,683 - Oh, sweetie! - What? 130 00:09:55,772 --> 00:09:56,841 I'm coming! 131 00:10:08,812 --> 00:10:10,928 Why don't we go and get in bed? 132 00:10:26,852 --> 00:10:31,084 Oh, God, full of compassion, thou who dwellest on high. 133 00:10:31,572 --> 00:10:35,201 Grant perfect rest unto the soul of Yale Goodman... 134 00:10:35,452 --> 00:10:37,647 ...who has departed from this world. 135 00:10:38,092 --> 00:10:40,811 Lord of mercy, bring him into Thy presence... 136 00:10:41,052 --> 00:10:45,807 ...and let his soul be bound up in the bond of eternal life. 137 00:10:46,972 --> 00:10:48,200 Amen. 138 00:10:49,412 --> 00:10:51,004 I can't try to console you... 139 00:10:51,252 --> 00:10:53,766 ...by saying there is any justice in this world. 140 00:10:54,012 --> 00:10:56,287 Just be thankful for the friendship... 141 00:10:56,532 --> 00:11:00,491 ...and tenderness you and Yale had the opportunity to share. 142 00:11:01,932 --> 00:11:06,767 My philosophy of life has gotten me through some very rough times. 143 00:11:07,252 --> 00:11:09,049 Let me share it with you. 144 00:11:11,532 --> 00:11:13,409 Que ser� ser�. 145 00:11:14,212 --> 00:11:16,407 I got it from the song. 146 00:11:27,572 --> 00:11:28,766 Judith? 147 00:11:30,732 --> 00:11:32,324 Just one thing. 148 00:11:32,772 --> 00:11:34,649 If you can remember... 149 00:11:35,052 --> 00:11:38,647 ...what were Yale's last words? 150 00:11:41,292 --> 00:11:43,089 "I'm coming." 151 00:11:45,332 --> 00:11:47,209 I know you don't want to hear this... 152 00:11:48,332 --> 00:11:51,449 ...but you got to get right back into circulation. 153 00:11:51,772 --> 00:11:55,321 When you fall off the horse, you got to climb right back on. 154 00:11:55,572 --> 00:11:57,847 Aunt Kissy, please! 155 00:11:59,092 --> 00:12:01,606 Could I be alone now? 156 00:12:02,212 --> 00:12:03,691 I'm sorry. 157 00:12:10,172 --> 00:12:11,207 She wants to be alone. 158 00:12:11,452 --> 00:12:13,443 She wants to be alone. 159 00:12:14,092 --> 00:12:17,209 She doesn't want to live in their place. I can't blame her. 160 00:12:17,452 --> 00:12:21,730 - Sell everything and buy her new. - Buy her new? She'll live with us. 161 00:12:22,012 --> 00:12:25,368 - What if she doesn't want to? - She doesn't know what she wants. 162 00:12:25,612 --> 00:12:28,843 And what's she going to do now? Be my secretary again? 163 00:12:29,132 --> 00:12:33,569 The girl's 29 years old and trained to do nothing. 164 00:12:33,972 --> 00:12:35,644 I'm 28. 165 00:12:47,692 --> 00:12:49,683 Look what we got! 166 00:13:22,092 --> 00:13:24,322 I've never not belonged to somebody. 167 00:13:24,572 --> 00:13:25,607 Never. 168 00:13:25,852 --> 00:13:28,764 My first boyfriend was in nursery school. I was two... 169 00:13:29,012 --> 00:13:30,809 ...and he was three and since then... 170 00:13:31,052 --> 00:13:35,125 ...I've been pinned, lavaliered, engaged... 171 00:13:35,492 --> 00:13:37,483 ...married twice. 172 00:13:38,772 --> 00:13:41,002 The first time, I was twenty. 173 00:13:42,332 --> 00:13:45,051 See, I've been in this room eight days... 174 00:13:45,292 --> 00:13:49,843 ...and it's really the first eight days I've ever been alone in my life. 175 00:13:50,812 --> 00:13:52,291 If I'm not going to be married... 176 00:13:52,532 --> 00:13:55,922 ...I don't know what I'm supposed to do with myself. 177 00:13:57,452 --> 00:14:00,250 Did you happen to see that movie Unmarried Woman? 178 00:14:01,612 --> 00:14:03,489 Well, I didn't get it. 179 00:14:03,812 --> 00:14:06,280 I would've been Mrs. Alan Bates so fast... 180 00:14:06,532 --> 00:14:08,841 ...that guy wouldn't have known what hit him. 181 00:14:09,452 --> 00:14:11,522 The thing is, and then I'll shut up... 182 00:14:14,172 --> 00:14:16,845 ...I haven't done anything wrong. 183 00:14:17,092 --> 00:14:20,084 And I feel like I'm being punished! 184 00:14:22,412 --> 00:14:25,165 I thought I'd be filling up my freezer... 185 00:14:25,412 --> 00:14:29,928 ...and be getting this new pine sideboard that I ordered and... 186 00:14:37,812 --> 00:14:39,643 Jessica, I do hate... 187 00:14:39,892 --> 00:14:42,850 ...to stop your free association, but our switchboard's flooded. 188 00:14:43,492 --> 00:14:46,882 So set your phone down and turn your radio up, okay? 189 00:14:47,132 --> 00:14:48,724 Hello, Night Owl, you're on the air. 190 00:14:49,652 --> 00:14:52,769 You lucked out. I read in the Enquirer this morning... 191 00:14:53,012 --> 00:14:54,525 ...that marriage causes cancer. 192 00:14:54,772 --> 00:14:56,967 Philadelphia Night Owl, you're on the air. 193 00:14:57,212 --> 00:15:00,363 About that Palestinian homeland. In your Bible you'll see... 194 00:15:00,612 --> 00:15:03,285 ...that the Arabs had first dibs on the West Bank. 195 00:15:03,532 --> 00:15:04,647 Not tonight, Del, thanks. 196 00:15:04,892 --> 00:15:06,962 Line 4, have you got advice for Jessica? 197 00:15:07,212 --> 00:15:09,203 Yes, I do. Hi, Jessica. 198 00:15:09,492 --> 00:15:10,447 My name is Jim. 199 00:15:10,692 --> 00:15:12,808 First let me say how terribly sorry I am... 200 00:15:13,092 --> 00:15:15,048 ...about your misfortune. 201 00:15:15,292 --> 00:15:19,001 And nobody knows better than you that things can 't get much worse. 202 00:15:19,652 --> 00:15:23,088 It's also pretty obvious that you need guidance, security... 203 00:15:23,332 --> 00:15:27,120 ...good friends and a healthy dose of self-confidence, Jessica. 204 00:15:28,492 --> 00:15:32,280 What I'm saying is, I think I can help you find a new life. 205 00:15:55,092 --> 00:15:56,889 - Are you Jessica? - Jim? 206 00:15:57,132 --> 00:15:58,326 Yeah, hi. 207 00:15:59,132 --> 00:16:00,645 Am I late or you early? 208 00:16:00,892 --> 00:16:02,803 I'm just a few hours early. 209 00:16:03,052 --> 00:16:04,246 Come on. 210 00:16:09,052 --> 00:16:11,327 I should tell you, my name is really Judy. 211 00:16:11,572 --> 00:16:14,882 I just didn't want anybody I knew to hear me on the radio. 212 00:16:15,132 --> 00:16:17,441 - Macht nichts. - What? 213 00:16:17,852 --> 00:16:20,412 It means, "It makes no difference" in German. 214 00:16:20,692 --> 00:16:22,922 I was stationed over there for 26 months. 215 00:16:23,172 --> 00:16:25,606 UNITED STATES ARMY RECRUITING STATION 216 00:16:26,452 --> 00:16:28,090 What does that look like to you? 217 00:16:28,492 --> 00:16:29,925 What? Club Med? 218 00:16:30,812 --> 00:16:33,610 It's the Fort Ord Army Base in Monterey, California. 219 00:16:34,332 --> 00:16:36,084 Those look like condos. 220 00:16:37,092 --> 00:16:40,971 And every soldier gets his or her own private room. 221 00:16:41,492 --> 00:16:42,720 What are these, yachts? 222 00:16:43,812 --> 00:16:46,690 The Army is the best-kept secret in the world, Judy. 223 00:16:46,932 --> 00:16:49,765 Looks great, but you don't know me. 224 00:16:50,012 --> 00:16:51,889 I'm not the Army type. 225 00:16:52,132 --> 00:16:54,566 Forget that old brown boot image of the Army. 226 00:16:54,812 --> 00:16:59,010 It's the 80s Army, all the ladies love it. All 89,000 of them. 227 00:16:59,332 --> 00:17:01,687 Check out this list of jobs. 228 00:17:01,972 --> 00:17:06,204 There's over 300 jobs, and only a couple of them not offered to ladies. 229 00:17:06,452 --> 00:17:08,568 Trained killers, stuff like that. 230 00:17:09,332 --> 00:17:12,165 - How much do you earn per month now? - Now? 231 00:17:13,212 --> 00:17:14,042 Nothing. 232 00:17:14,292 --> 00:17:15,520 Nothing? 233 00:17:19,732 --> 00:17:21,006 Thanks. 234 00:17:22,532 --> 00:17:23,965 What are you thinking? 235 00:17:27,092 --> 00:17:28,889 I'm thinking about... 236 00:17:30,532 --> 00:17:32,443 ...my family... 237 00:17:32,932 --> 00:17:34,763 ...and my house... 238 00:17:36,412 --> 00:17:38,972 ...and all the gifts I have to return. 239 00:17:42,092 --> 00:17:46,608 You shouldn't be saddled with a lot of responsibilities and decisions now. 240 00:17:46,932 --> 00:17:51,767 I'm prepared to offer you $458 a month, train you in the job of your choice... 241 00:17:52,212 --> 00:17:54,931 ...pay for your food, your housing, all your medical... 242 00:17:55,172 --> 00:17:58,721 ...and give you a 30-day paid vacation. I'll tell you something... 243 00:17:58,972 --> 00:18:00,849 ...with your education and background... 244 00:18:01,092 --> 00:18:03,606 ...you could easily land an assignment in Europe. 245 00:18:03,852 --> 00:18:05,126 Europe? 246 00:18:05,772 --> 00:18:08,240 I do need to get away. 247 00:18:08,492 --> 00:18:11,962 I promise, you'll be in the best physical shape you've ever been in. 248 00:18:13,012 --> 00:18:15,526 It will be like 3 years at La Costa. 249 00:18:16,452 --> 00:18:18,329 La Costa. That's good! 250 00:18:21,892 --> 00:18:24,122 What if I hate it once I get there? 251 00:18:24,372 --> 00:18:25,361 Quit. 252 00:18:25,572 --> 00:18:27,642 It's a job, like anything else. 253 00:18:35,812 --> 00:18:36,722 I... 254 00:18:37,092 --> 00:18:38,241 State your full name. 255 00:18:39,692 --> 00:18:41,683 Do solemnly swear or affirm... 256 00:18:43,252 --> 00:18:45,049 ...I will support and defend... 257 00:18:46,532 --> 00:18:48,727 ...the Constitution of the United States... 258 00:18:50,892 --> 00:18:53,406 ...from all enemies, foreign and domestic. 259 00:18:55,132 --> 00:18:57,566 That I will bear true faith and allegiance... 260 00:18:59,132 --> 00:18:59,962 ...to the same... 261 00:19:01,292 --> 00:19:03,089 ...and will obey the orders... 262 00:19:04,612 --> 00:19:06,807 ...of the President of the United States... 263 00:19:08,332 --> 00:19:10,892 ...and the orders of the officers over me... 264 00:19:13,132 --> 00:19:14,850 ...according to regulations. 265 00:19:22,532 --> 00:19:23,760 All right. 266 00:19:24,252 --> 00:19:27,562 My name is Sergeant L.C. Ross. 267 00:19:27,812 --> 00:19:31,725 And I'll be your drill sergeant for your 6 weeks basic training. 268 00:19:32,092 --> 00:19:34,925 My job is to turn you lovely ladies and gentlemen... 269 00:19:35,172 --> 00:19:37,163 ...into United States soldiers. 270 00:19:37,732 --> 00:19:41,088 The first thing we'll do is put you through your in-processing. 271 00:19:41,332 --> 00:19:45,928 While you are waiting in line for your processing, you will not, I repeat... 272 00:19:46,172 --> 00:19:49,528 ...you will not be flapping your lips. 273 00:19:49,972 --> 00:19:52,406 You'll be filling out these forms. 274 00:19:53,612 --> 00:19:57,321 I'm going to call out your names and I want you to line up behind me. 275 00:20:00,852 --> 00:20:01,762 Abbott. 276 00:20:02,012 --> 00:20:03,081 Barnett. 277 00:20:04,532 --> 00:20:05,726 Benjamin. 278 00:20:07,012 --> 00:20:08,001 Benjamin! 279 00:20:08,252 --> 00:20:09,446 - Sir. - Fall in, Benjamin. 280 00:20:09,692 --> 00:20:10,807 I'm Private Winter... 281 00:20:11,052 --> 00:20:14,761 ...but I think I can be of assistance in locating Private Benjamin. 282 00:20:15,452 --> 00:20:16,567 Sir. 283 00:20:27,892 --> 00:20:29,962 - Are we at the fort? - Yes we are. 284 00:20:30,292 --> 00:20:32,248 Time to wake up now. 285 00:20:33,572 --> 00:20:34,482 In a sec. 286 00:20:34,812 --> 00:20:36,530 Get your ass up and out on the company street! 287 00:20:41,212 --> 00:20:42,406 I never! 288 00:20:42,652 --> 00:20:44,768 Give me 10 pushups! Knock them out! 289 00:20:45,012 --> 00:20:47,048 You mind if I check into my room first? 290 00:20:47,332 --> 00:20:49,402 Assume the position and hit it! 291 00:20:49,652 --> 00:20:50,767 Now! 292 00:21:01,052 --> 00:21:02,405 Up! Down! 293 00:21:06,932 --> 00:21:08,490 What is this, hell week? 294 00:21:08,732 --> 00:21:09,721 No, Benjamin... 295 00:21:09,972 --> 00:21:11,803 ...this is the Army! 296 00:21:20,332 --> 00:21:23,449 Excuse me, sir, is green the only color these come in? 297 00:21:25,012 --> 00:21:28,084 Close it up back there, you meatheads. Go! 298 00:21:28,452 --> 00:21:30,682 Pick it up! Pick it up! Close it up! 299 00:21:30,932 --> 00:21:33,969 Close up that field back there! Come on, move it! 300 00:21:35,492 --> 00:21:37,562 Where are the yachts? 301 00:21:45,012 --> 00:21:48,084 - Excuse me, are you a reporter? - Who, me? 302 00:21:48,732 --> 00:21:49,642 No. 303 00:21:50,332 --> 00:21:53,768 I joined up, but I'm not staying. There's been a mistake. 304 00:21:54,012 --> 00:21:56,003 I'll straighten it out when the manager gets here. 305 00:21:56,252 --> 00:21:59,210 Man on the floor! In front of your cots at attention! 306 00:22:03,932 --> 00:22:06,162 Barracks ready for inspection, Captain. 307 00:22:16,692 --> 00:22:20,162 What's the matter, honey? Are you a crybaby? 308 00:22:20,412 --> 00:22:21,242 No, sir. 309 00:22:21,492 --> 00:22:22,481 Ma'am! 310 00:22:26,412 --> 00:22:29,165 I know how all you ladies drool over this... 311 00:22:29,412 --> 00:22:31,880 ...this Fonzie character... 312 00:22:32,212 --> 00:22:33,486 ...but not in my outfit. 313 00:22:33,732 --> 00:22:34,608 Burn it. 314 00:22:46,532 --> 00:22:48,841 - Your name, soldier? - Private Winter, ma'am. 315 00:23:00,612 --> 00:23:03,445 Outstanding, Winter. Outstanding. 316 00:23:04,092 --> 00:23:05,207 Ladies! 317 00:23:05,452 --> 00:23:07,249 Examine Private Winter's locker. 318 00:23:07,492 --> 00:23:08,607 Learn from it. 319 00:23:10,532 --> 00:23:13,888 You keep this up and we'll talk officer's candidate school. 320 00:23:14,172 --> 00:23:16,163 Thank you, ma'am! 321 00:23:27,012 --> 00:23:29,731 This brassiere isn't regulation, Ross. 322 00:23:29,972 --> 00:23:31,769 And neither is this face. 323 00:23:32,012 --> 00:23:35,004 And you look like a clown, soldier. Clean up your act. 324 00:23:38,972 --> 00:23:41,406 Gianelli's a 308, ma'am. 325 00:23:45,132 --> 00:23:47,646 So it was the Army or jail? 326 00:23:48,932 --> 00:23:51,890 After 6 weeks with me, you're going to wish you chose Attica. 327 00:23:52,132 --> 00:23:54,123 Don't push me, punk. 328 00:23:54,652 --> 00:23:59,123 This is the most pathetic group of trainees I have ever laid my eyes on. 329 00:24:00,972 --> 00:24:02,883 My companies are the best-trained... 330 00:24:03,132 --> 00:24:05,965 ...the best-disciplined soldiers on this base. 331 00:24:09,452 --> 00:24:13,001 I hate to interrupt you, but could I speak to you for a sec? 332 00:24:13,252 --> 00:24:16,642 My Lord! Sergeant, would you look at this! 333 00:24:16,892 --> 00:24:18,644 I've seen it, ma'am. 334 00:24:19,892 --> 00:24:22,008 What's your name, Princess? 335 00:24:22,252 --> 00:24:23,287 Judy. 336 00:24:24,212 --> 00:24:26,726 Judy Benjamin. 337 00:24:28,972 --> 00:24:32,089 I think they sent me to the wrong... 338 00:24:32,692 --> 00:24:34,125 ...place. 339 00:24:34,972 --> 00:24:39,409 You see, I did join the Army, but I joined a different Army. 340 00:24:39,652 --> 00:24:44,043 I joined the one with the condos and the private rooms. 341 00:24:47,012 --> 00:24:50,243 No, really! My recruiter, Jim Ballard, told me that... 342 00:24:50,492 --> 00:24:54,280 I don't care what your lousy recruiter told you, Benjamin. 343 00:24:54,532 --> 00:24:56,602 I'm telling you, there is no other Army. 344 00:24:57,332 --> 00:24:58,606 Wait a minute. 345 00:24:58,852 --> 00:25:01,241 I don't want to have to go to your boss, okay? 346 00:25:03,732 --> 00:25:08,283 To be truthful with you, I can't sleep in a room with 20 strangers. 347 00:25:08,612 --> 00:25:09,567 Oh, dear! 348 00:25:09,812 --> 00:25:12,485 Look at this place. The Army couldn't afford drapes? 349 00:25:12,732 --> 00:25:15,326 I'll be up at the crack of dawn here. 350 00:25:16,732 --> 00:25:20,168 And I have to tell you, I am frankly a little shocked. 351 00:25:20,972 --> 00:25:22,325 You're shocked? 352 00:25:22,652 --> 00:25:23,562 Why? 353 00:25:23,812 --> 00:25:26,724 This place is a sty. 354 00:25:29,412 --> 00:25:32,449 Look at these stains. God knows where this has been. 355 00:25:34,012 --> 00:25:36,003 And have you seen the bathroom? 356 00:25:41,172 --> 00:25:44,562 Do you think that the latrine is unsanitary? 357 00:25:45,452 --> 00:25:46,680 It's disgusting! 358 00:25:47,932 --> 00:25:50,241 There are urinals in there. 359 00:25:51,532 --> 00:25:53,887 That's because this is the Army... 360 00:25:55,132 --> 00:25:56,963 ...it's not a sorority house. 361 00:26:00,132 --> 00:26:03,408 May I see your toothbrush? Please? 362 00:26:22,612 --> 00:26:25,729 Yale, how could you do this to me? 363 00:26:45,772 --> 00:26:47,490 You could eat off that floor. 364 00:26:47,732 --> 00:26:49,404 Why don't you. 365 00:27:01,852 --> 00:27:03,524 Reveille! Let's go! 366 00:27:03,772 --> 00:27:05,364 Everybody up! 367 00:27:05,612 --> 00:27:06,806 Move it! 368 00:27:07,172 --> 00:27:09,242 Everybody up! Everybody move! 369 00:27:10,172 --> 00:27:11,969 Everybody, Benjamin! 370 00:27:12,212 --> 00:27:15,488 You can't mean me. I worked the night shift. 371 00:27:15,772 --> 00:27:18,081 Go check out the bathroom, it's fabulous. 372 00:27:32,812 --> 00:27:34,086 Alpha Company... 373 00:27:34,332 --> 00:27:35,970 ...attention! 374 00:27:36,252 --> 00:27:39,085 Bravo Company, attention! 375 00:27:54,572 --> 00:27:55,641 At ease, gentlemen... 376 00:27:56,052 --> 00:27:57,007 ...and ladies. 377 00:27:59,732 --> 00:28:01,404 I'm your post commander. 378 00:28:02,172 --> 00:28:03,685 Colonel Clay Thornbush. 379 00:28:03,972 --> 00:28:04,961 Welcome... 380 00:28:05,252 --> 00:28:08,289 ...to the Biloxi, Mississippi Basic Training Center. 381 00:28:08,532 --> 00:28:10,329 The backbone of the U.S. Army. 382 00:28:10,572 --> 00:28:13,564 You have two company commanders to lead you through basic. 383 00:28:13,812 --> 00:28:15,643 Capt. Doreen Lewis, a 5-year veteran... 384 00:28:15,892 --> 00:28:17,848 ...here at Fort Biloxi, of Alpha Company. 385 00:28:18,092 --> 00:28:19,571 And a newcomer to the family... 386 00:28:19,812 --> 00:28:22,451 ...Captain William Wooldridge, Bravo Company. 387 00:28:22,692 --> 00:28:25,411 Here, we turn out the best-fed, best-trained... 388 00:28:25,652 --> 00:28:27,882 ...soldiers, but it doesn't come easy. 389 00:28:28,292 --> 00:28:31,409 It does not happen overnight. You must have the strength... 390 00:28:32,612 --> 00:28:35,445 ...the self-discipline, and mental stamina necessary... 391 00:28:35,692 --> 00:28:38,490 ...to meet the standards of the United States Army. 392 00:28:38,732 --> 00:28:40,723 The next 6 weeks will be the test. 393 00:28:41,532 --> 00:28:42,851 It'll be hell... 394 00:28:44,692 --> 00:28:46,489 ...but you'll be glad you did it. 395 00:28:49,212 --> 00:28:50,770 Move it! 396 00:28:52,812 --> 00:28:54,006 Left, right! Left! 397 00:29:03,092 --> 00:29:06,448 I thought it would be a few leg lifts, a little stretching... 398 00:29:06,692 --> 00:29:08,967 ...maybe a disco class, you know. 399 00:29:09,212 --> 00:29:11,806 You're not real talkative, are you, Soyer? 400 00:29:12,612 --> 00:29:13,727 We run them out... 401 00:29:14,012 --> 00:29:15,570 ...and we march them back. 402 00:29:16,492 --> 00:29:20,770 Then about twice a week, I spring a surprise inspection on them. 403 00:29:21,012 --> 00:29:22,604 That's good Army. 404 00:29:23,852 --> 00:29:25,570 Keeps them on their toes. 405 00:29:27,332 --> 00:29:29,721 - Got one more question. - Shoot. 406 00:29:31,292 --> 00:29:32,202 Are you busy Friday? 407 00:30:59,932 --> 00:31:01,524 Look out, Gianelli! 408 00:31:10,212 --> 00:31:12,089 I can't take anymore. They've broken me. 409 00:31:12,332 --> 00:31:14,800 - I'm quitting. - Girl, you can't quit this Army. 410 00:31:15,052 --> 00:31:18,169 I can. The recruiter told me quit anytime I want. 411 00:31:18,412 --> 00:31:21,006 Jesus, you still believe your recruiter? 412 00:31:21,252 --> 00:31:23,049 It's only for 3 years. 413 00:31:23,292 --> 00:31:25,408 Company halt! 414 00:31:31,092 --> 00:31:32,081 Move it, Benjamin! 415 00:31:32,332 --> 00:31:36,211 I don't want to see you stop running unless you collapse, faint or puke! 416 00:31:48,012 --> 00:31:51,288 I have never looked worse in my life! 417 00:31:52,612 --> 00:31:55,172 Has anybody ever died from basic? 418 00:32:28,452 --> 00:32:29,851 Excuse me. 419 00:32:37,812 --> 00:32:39,928 I think you took my blanket. 420 00:32:40,412 --> 00:32:43,768 This is my blanket. You gave it to me. 421 00:32:45,732 --> 00:32:48,724 - I don't think I did. - Maybe you just forgot. 422 00:32:48,972 --> 00:32:50,690 Maybe you got brain damage. 423 00:32:53,612 --> 00:32:55,284 Okay, I gave it to you. 424 00:32:55,532 --> 00:32:56,965 By mistake. 425 00:32:57,732 --> 00:32:59,927 - I want it back, okay? - Take it. 426 00:33:50,172 --> 00:33:51,685 Where are you going? 427 00:33:53,332 --> 00:33:54,606 Home. 428 00:34:02,132 --> 00:34:04,600 We're going to have to do this again real soon. 429 00:34:05,772 --> 00:34:07,763 How about every Friday night? 430 00:34:09,772 --> 00:34:12,206 I'm going to set you free, Doreen. 431 00:34:35,052 --> 00:34:37,202 Captain Lewis, ma'am, we've got trouble. 432 00:34:41,132 --> 00:34:42,565 My hair! 433 00:34:51,012 --> 00:34:53,731 Benjamin, you are not fit to wear that uniform! 434 00:34:53,972 --> 00:34:55,564 No shit! 435 00:34:58,572 --> 00:35:02,565 What do you want from me? I didn't ask her to punish everybody! 436 00:35:02,812 --> 00:35:05,406 You think I like schlepping in rain all day and night? 437 00:35:05,652 --> 00:35:07,688 Just keep marching, Benjamin! 438 00:35:07,932 --> 00:35:10,924 My name is Judy! J-U-D-Y... 439 00:35:11,172 --> 00:35:13,686 ...and I'd like somebody to call me by my name. 440 00:35:14,292 --> 00:35:15,611 Hey, Judy! 441 00:35:16,892 --> 00:35:19,406 I took my life in my own hands. I made a mistake. 442 00:35:19,652 --> 00:35:22,883 I'm sorry. I'll never do it again! I want to wear my sandals! 443 00:35:24,452 --> 00:35:26,522 I want to go out to lunch. 444 00:35:26,772 --> 00:35:28,569 I want to be normal again. 445 00:35:28,852 --> 00:35:31,605 Would you please just shut up, Benjamin! 446 00:35:31,852 --> 00:35:35,162 God! Never in all my born days met such a whiny... 447 00:35:35,492 --> 00:35:37,289 ...candy-ass as you! 448 00:35:37,532 --> 00:35:40,683 I don't want to be in the Army! 449 00:35:45,812 --> 00:35:47,325 But we do, okay? 450 00:35:47,572 --> 00:35:49,881 We can't afford any more trouble on account of you. 451 00:35:51,532 --> 00:35:53,887 I thought you and I could be friends, but you're... 452 00:35:54,132 --> 00:35:56,805 - Forget it! - What? I'm what? 453 00:35:57,572 --> 00:36:00,689 You're the most insensitive person I've ever met. 454 00:36:01,012 --> 00:36:02,923 That is so untrue! 455 00:36:03,172 --> 00:36:07,085 I never go to someone's home empty-handed! 456 00:36:07,532 --> 00:36:09,204 People love me! 457 00:36:09,452 --> 00:36:10,407 Platoon, halt! 458 00:36:11,572 --> 00:36:12,925 Fall out! 459 00:36:20,492 --> 00:36:21,641 To the day room... 460 00:36:21,892 --> 00:36:23,007 ...on the double! 461 00:36:41,052 --> 00:36:42,804 They didn't tell me it was you. 462 00:36:52,492 --> 00:36:53,641 Hi, Mom. 463 00:37:01,892 --> 00:37:03,405 Hi, Daddy. 464 00:37:10,172 --> 00:37:11,651 Sit down, Judy. 465 00:37:13,332 --> 00:37:14,606 I was... 466 00:37:14,852 --> 00:37:18,049 ...going to call, but I wasn't feeling very good. 467 00:37:21,332 --> 00:37:22,845 Eight days. 468 00:37:23,812 --> 00:37:25,803 Our daughter disappears... 469 00:37:26,052 --> 00:37:28,691 ...for eight days without a single word. 470 00:37:30,452 --> 00:37:34,525 We thought you were kidnapped. The FBI was looking for you... 471 00:37:34,772 --> 00:37:36,728 ...when some stranger calls... 472 00:37:36,972 --> 00:37:40,806 ...telling us how fine you are and that you'd enlisted in the Army. 473 00:37:42,092 --> 00:37:43,969 We tried to figure out why. 474 00:37:45,052 --> 00:37:47,964 Personally, I think you've gone temporarily insane. 475 00:37:48,532 --> 00:37:50,682 That's what we told everyone. 476 00:37:51,172 --> 00:37:53,606 We said that you had a collapse... 477 00:37:53,852 --> 00:37:55,808 ...and that you were in a mental home. 478 00:37:57,092 --> 00:37:58,650 People think I'm in a mental home? 479 00:37:59,732 --> 00:38:00,721 What should we say? 480 00:38:00,972 --> 00:38:04,647 That you're in an Army barracks in Mississippi with a bunch of... 481 00:38:04,892 --> 00:38:07,167 - What? - I don't know what! 482 00:38:08,812 --> 00:38:10,564 That's why I don't like it. 483 00:38:12,492 --> 00:38:15,802 How could you do this to your parents? 484 00:38:16,332 --> 00:38:20,689 Haven't we done enough for you? Given you everything you wanted? 485 00:38:20,932 --> 00:38:25,244 Did I get you a car on your sixteenth birthday? Did I get you into college? 486 00:38:25,492 --> 00:38:28,848 Did I bail you out of your first marriage to that schmuck? Did I? 487 00:38:29,092 --> 00:38:29,922 Relax. 488 00:38:30,172 --> 00:38:31,890 I am relaxed! 489 00:38:36,372 --> 00:38:39,011 Why are you punishing us? 490 00:38:43,732 --> 00:38:45,529 Maybe you hate us. 491 00:38:48,132 --> 00:38:49,929 I don't hate you, I love you. 492 00:38:52,132 --> 00:38:54,726 You know your Aunt Kissy is living with us now. 493 00:38:55,972 --> 00:38:56,802 Why? 494 00:38:57,132 --> 00:38:59,726 Because you mother's had a nervous breakdown, that's why! 495 00:39:04,532 --> 00:39:08,730 You were never a smart girl. We're all going to stop pretending now. 496 00:39:11,172 --> 00:39:15,290 You are obviously incapable of making your own decisions. 497 00:39:15,892 --> 00:39:19,487 Starting tomorrow, I do not let you out of my sight. 498 00:39:19,732 --> 00:39:21,131 I don't care how much you cry. 499 00:39:21,692 --> 00:39:23,523 The Benjamins! 500 00:39:24,492 --> 00:39:26,005 Captain Lewis. 501 00:39:30,492 --> 00:39:32,483 It is so good to meet you in person. 502 00:39:33,172 --> 00:39:34,048 Thank you. 503 00:39:35,612 --> 00:39:37,842 Captain Lewis said we could take you home, darling. 504 00:39:38,452 --> 00:39:42,525 I'm sorry that things just didn't work out here for Judy. 505 00:39:43,492 --> 00:39:45,528 She's a hard worker. 506 00:39:45,772 --> 00:39:47,922 She's very... popular... 507 00:39:48,172 --> 00:39:50,367 ...with all the other girls. 508 00:39:51,012 --> 00:39:53,401 We are sad to see her go. 509 00:39:55,932 --> 00:39:59,766 If you sign here on the dotted line, you're as good as home, young lady. 510 00:40:00,852 --> 00:40:02,080 Right there. 511 00:40:05,292 --> 00:40:06,725 Here, darling. Here you are. 512 00:40:08,212 --> 00:40:10,567 Come on, take it. 513 00:40:13,292 --> 00:40:14,771 No, thanks. 514 00:40:16,092 --> 00:40:17,764 Think I'll stay. 515 00:40:30,372 --> 00:40:31,202 Mom. 516 00:40:31,852 --> 00:40:32,682 Daddy. 517 00:41:28,052 --> 00:41:29,371 All right, knock it off! 518 00:41:29,612 --> 00:41:31,045 Break it! Let's go! 519 00:41:59,972 --> 00:42:04,124 Welcome to the Biloxi War Games, the Super Bowl of Basic Training. 520 00:42:04,412 --> 00:42:07,210 Simulated combat will test your skills and courage. 521 00:42:07,452 --> 00:42:10,728 Captain Wooldridge will lead the red team. Captain Lewis... 522 00:42:10,972 --> 00:42:14,681 ...the blue team. I will be observing the exercises from the air. 523 00:42:15,532 --> 00:42:17,523 Good luck. And fight proud! 524 00:42:19,572 --> 00:42:20,766 Fight proud! 525 00:42:30,772 --> 00:42:32,171 Thompson, Hike... 526 00:42:32,412 --> 00:42:34,368 ...Katz, Byron... 527 00:42:34,612 --> 00:42:35,601 ...Richter! 528 00:42:36,332 --> 00:42:40,291 Your objective is to capture and blow up Red Team's communication center. 529 00:42:40,532 --> 00:42:42,409 Beware, mine-fields are out there. 530 00:42:42,652 --> 00:42:44,324 Most of them are inert... 531 00:42:44,572 --> 00:42:45,766 ...but some are ert. 532 00:42:46,292 --> 00:42:47,566 Take off! 533 00:42:47,812 --> 00:42:48,881 Private Winter! 534 00:42:51,492 --> 00:42:53,767 You'll serve as Captain Lewis' aide-de-camp. 535 00:42:54,932 --> 00:42:56,684 Sir. Yes, sir! 536 00:42:57,732 --> 00:42:58,562 Team "C"! 537 00:42:59,092 --> 00:43:00,969 Gianelli, Glass... 538 00:43:01,212 --> 00:43:03,123 ...Moe, Benjamin... 539 00:43:03,372 --> 00:43:04,487 ...Soyer! 540 00:43:05,492 --> 00:43:08,325 Your objective is to guard this area here. 541 00:43:08,572 --> 00:43:10,927 Excuse me, Drill Sergeant, what is that area? 542 00:43:12,012 --> 00:43:13,365 That's the swamp. 543 00:43:13,972 --> 00:43:14,882 Swamp? 544 00:43:17,452 --> 00:43:18,805 Take off! 545 00:43:34,692 --> 00:43:37,729 If you can't read that map, why don't you just say it? 546 00:43:37,972 --> 00:43:40,088 You're supposed to be the point man! 547 00:43:40,332 --> 00:43:42,243 Benj pointed me in the wrong direction! 548 00:43:42,532 --> 00:43:45,842 - What am I, Magellan? - What are we going to guard, algae? 549 00:43:47,652 --> 00:43:49,483 Let's just go straight north. 550 00:43:49,732 --> 00:43:51,768 - We came from the north! - Let's go south. 551 00:43:52,012 --> 00:43:53,365 Wait! Relax. 552 00:43:53,612 --> 00:43:55,489 If we can't get back by tomorrow... 553 00:43:55,852 --> 00:43:57,285 ...they'll send a search plane. 554 00:43:57,532 --> 00:43:59,682 We have enough bodies to spell "help"? 555 00:44:00,172 --> 00:44:01,082 Let's go. 556 00:44:07,732 --> 00:44:10,565 The first time I ever did it... 557 00:44:17,932 --> 00:44:21,447 ...was on an overnight hike with my Bible class. 558 00:44:23,772 --> 00:44:27,845 We're talking Laemil Lefebvre, my preacher's son. 559 00:44:33,412 --> 00:44:37,690 I'd never done nothing in my life before. Nothing! 560 00:44:37,932 --> 00:44:40,400 And he just climbed right smack-dab... 561 00:44:40,652 --> 00:44:43,325 ...in the middle of my sleeping bag, and I was scared. 562 00:44:45,252 --> 00:44:48,324 Not to mention the fact that his daddy, the preacher... 563 00:44:48,572 --> 00:44:51,132 ...was right over there, just about ten feet away. 564 00:44:51,372 --> 00:44:52,202 How was it? 565 00:44:53,372 --> 00:44:54,725 Quiet... 566 00:44:55,252 --> 00:44:58,130 ...but very nice. Very nice! 567 00:45:01,532 --> 00:45:03,443 I had an orgasm once. 568 00:45:06,292 --> 00:45:08,010 But I was alone. 569 00:45:10,292 --> 00:45:13,170 I guess you must have been alone. 570 00:45:20,252 --> 00:45:21,731 Once... 571 00:45:22,452 --> 00:45:26,809 ...when I was with my first husband, I got to this place... 572 00:45:27,092 --> 00:45:29,925 ...that was kind of nice and tingly. 573 00:45:35,092 --> 00:45:37,128 I don't know if it was official. 574 00:45:37,372 --> 00:45:40,091 I mean, I don't know if this was an official... 575 00:45:40,332 --> 00:45:42,243 ...orgasm, you know. 576 00:45:44,732 --> 00:45:48,645 But I counted it as one for five years. 577 00:45:51,692 --> 00:45:53,523 How many times have you been married? 578 00:45:56,492 --> 00:45:57,811 Twice. 579 00:46:00,372 --> 00:46:03,091 The first time for six weeks... 580 00:46:03,412 --> 00:46:05,084 ...and the second time... 581 00:46:05,332 --> 00:46:06,651 ...for six hours. 582 00:46:06,892 --> 00:46:07,722 Six hours? 583 00:46:08,452 --> 00:46:10,647 My husband had a heart attack and died. 584 00:46:10,892 --> 00:46:11,802 What?! 585 00:46:13,732 --> 00:46:16,121 My husband had a heart attack... 586 00:46:16,372 --> 00:46:19,409 ...and died on our wedding night. 587 00:46:21,012 --> 00:46:22,968 While we were making love. 588 00:46:24,092 --> 00:46:25,571 Holy shit! 589 00:46:25,812 --> 00:46:27,689 Jesus, Benjamin! 590 00:46:28,012 --> 00:46:30,651 I don't get it. What do you do after a thing like that? 591 00:46:34,852 --> 00:46:36,490 Join the Army. 592 00:46:57,772 --> 00:47:01,560 We're lost. We've passed that same alligator 7 times. 593 00:47:01,812 --> 00:47:03,530 I bet the war games are over by now. 594 00:47:03,772 --> 00:47:06,809 - Lewis is going to just kill us! - There's a plane! 595 00:47:07,052 --> 00:47:09,520 I bet that's headed back to base. Let's follow it. 596 00:47:09,772 --> 00:47:12,206 I hope it's not Delta to Miami. 597 00:47:13,332 --> 00:47:15,846 Look, it's the Red Army headquarters. 598 00:47:18,732 --> 00:47:19,881 Quiet! 599 00:47:25,852 --> 00:47:26,887 Great. 600 00:47:27,252 --> 00:47:30,608 - You owe me $6.95. - You got it! 601 00:47:42,092 --> 00:47:45,721 Hey, blood, how you doing? All right, looking good! 602 00:47:45,972 --> 00:47:48,566 - What's happening, girl? - What can I tell you? 603 00:47:49,292 --> 00:47:51,522 You're my prisoner of war, that's what's happening! 604 00:47:51,772 --> 00:47:55,447 - I ain't your nothing. Get that... - I mean what I say! 605 00:47:58,892 --> 00:48:00,007 Drop it! 606 00:48:03,172 --> 00:48:04,048 No, you drop it. 607 00:48:05,612 --> 00:48:07,091 I said, drop it! 608 00:48:09,252 --> 00:48:12,688 - Where's Captain Wooldridge? - In the tent interrogating a P.O.W. 609 00:48:13,532 --> 00:48:14,885 Get the keys to the truck. 610 00:48:15,412 --> 00:48:16,527 Come on. 611 00:48:19,852 --> 00:48:21,410 - Oh, shit! - Don't worry. 612 00:48:21,652 --> 00:48:23,722 - I'll hot-wire it. - You know how? 613 00:48:24,212 --> 00:48:25,725 That's my former career. 614 00:48:25,972 --> 00:48:27,041 Excellent! 615 00:48:44,052 --> 00:48:45,201 What? 616 00:48:47,572 --> 00:48:48,402 Freeze! 617 00:48:49,212 --> 00:48:51,043 Private Winter! 618 00:48:53,092 --> 00:48:54,571 Well, lookee here! 619 00:48:54,812 --> 00:48:58,282 - Look what we got. - Listen, Captain Lewis... 620 00:48:58,972 --> 00:49:01,247 She sent me out to find you guys and... 621 00:49:02,492 --> 00:49:03,720 ...I got captured. 622 00:49:04,972 --> 00:49:07,486 He promised me he'd put in a good word with Captain Lewis. 623 00:49:07,732 --> 00:49:09,324 And I really don't like him. 624 00:49:10,052 --> 00:49:11,724 Take the prisoners. 625 00:49:13,252 --> 00:49:15,846 Attention all Red Team personnel. 626 00:49:16,092 --> 00:49:19,084 The Blue Team has surrendered. The Red Team has won. 627 00:49:19,332 --> 00:49:20,811 So follow us. 628 00:49:21,692 --> 00:49:23,808 Attention all Red Team personnel. 629 00:49:24,212 --> 00:49:25,725 The Blue Team has surrendered. 630 00:49:25,972 --> 00:49:28,406 The Red Team has won, so follow us. 631 00:49:33,932 --> 00:49:35,843 Red Team captured! 632 00:49:36,892 --> 00:49:38,883 Ross, take the platoon... 633 00:49:40,012 --> 00:49:41,081 ...head due west. 634 00:49:42,692 --> 00:49:46,082 I'll lead the remaining troops to the east. 635 00:49:53,692 --> 00:49:54,886 What now? 636 00:49:55,292 --> 00:49:56,441 Got any ideas? 637 00:50:02,772 --> 00:50:05,161 Off your asses! On your feet! 638 00:50:09,492 --> 00:50:12,290 Overwhelming enemy forces approaching. 639 00:50:12,972 --> 00:50:17,488 Blue Team Company Commander requests permission to surrender, sir. 640 00:50:17,932 --> 00:50:19,888 Do you accept surrender of Blue Team? 641 00:50:20,132 --> 00:50:23,408 No, sir. We do not, because we are also the Blue Team, sir. 642 00:50:23,652 --> 00:50:25,131 Identify yourself, soldier! 643 00:50:25,372 --> 00:50:27,681 Sir, Private Benjamin, sir! 644 00:50:40,652 --> 00:50:41,926 At ease! 645 00:50:42,172 --> 00:50:44,003 Which one of you is Private Benjamin? 646 00:50:44,252 --> 00:50:45,367 Sir, I am, sir. 647 00:50:47,172 --> 00:50:49,288 - Outstanding! - Thank you, sir! 648 00:50:49,532 --> 00:50:52,444 Here's the rest of the squad. Privates Glass, Gianelli... 649 00:50:52,692 --> 00:50:54,922 ...Private Moe and Private Soyer, sir. 650 00:50:56,372 --> 00:50:58,124 Where is the Red Team Commander? 651 00:51:28,172 --> 00:51:30,845 Captain Lewis, you are lucky to have troopers like this! 652 00:51:31,172 --> 00:51:32,446 Congratulations! 653 00:51:32,892 --> 00:51:35,850 Next time don't be so quick to raise the white flag. 654 00:51:36,572 --> 00:51:38,881 - Yes, sir. - The war games are concluded. 655 00:51:39,132 --> 00:51:42,249 Troops are dismissed. I will see you tomorrow at graduation. 656 00:51:48,692 --> 00:51:50,967 - Yes, sir! - Can I offer your team a lift? 657 00:52:07,012 --> 00:52:11,210 Meet two of our Thornbirds! Lieutenant Gomez and Sergeant Gates. 658 00:52:13,892 --> 00:52:16,690 Fabulous uniforms! What's a Thornbird, sir? 659 00:52:16,932 --> 00:52:21,323 An elite airborne corp. We recruit them from the best bases in the country. 660 00:52:21,932 --> 00:52:24,571 I'm damn proud of them, like I'm proud of you girls. 661 00:52:24,812 --> 00:52:26,848 It's a hell of a job you did today! 662 00:52:28,172 --> 00:52:29,571 Where do you hail from? 663 00:52:30,732 --> 00:52:32,370 Philadelphia, sir. 664 00:52:33,692 --> 00:52:37,526 It's the seat of our democracy! Thornie Two is from Philadelphia. 665 00:52:37,932 --> 00:52:38,921 Thornie Two, sir? 666 00:52:39,332 --> 00:52:40,526 My wife. 667 00:52:41,332 --> 00:52:44,369 After 20 years watching us crazy guys jump out of airplanes... 668 00:52:44,732 --> 00:52:47,405 ...she decided she wanted to try it. Remember, Ed? 669 00:52:48,492 --> 00:52:50,528 We took her up, almost had to shove her out! 670 00:52:50,932 --> 00:52:53,002 She had a good time, but she landed wrong. 671 00:52:53,372 --> 00:52:57,047 Broke her arm in 3 places. Lucky we didn't have to shoot her, right? 672 00:52:58,412 --> 00:52:59,686 We're approaching, sir. 673 00:53:00,052 --> 00:53:02,407 I'll take her down. You trust me, don't you? 674 00:53:02,652 --> 00:53:03,687 Oh, yes, sir! 675 00:53:04,052 --> 00:53:06,612 Then let's do it to it! 676 00:53:07,212 --> 00:53:11,205 - Tell your men to hang on, Benjamin! - Hang on, men. 677 00:54:17,412 --> 00:54:19,403 Whoop-de-do! 678 00:54:21,932 --> 00:54:24,890 Inspection, ladies! 679 00:54:37,812 --> 00:54:39,450 Lady Luck! 680 00:54:44,172 --> 00:54:46,845 Don't you look at me with those baby blues. 681 00:54:48,652 --> 00:54:51,212 I'm not the great Thornie. 682 00:54:53,892 --> 00:54:58,522 You finally succeeded in making a fool out of me, didn't you? 683 00:55:00,212 --> 00:55:01,565 Ma'am. Yes, ma'am. 684 00:55:02,012 --> 00:55:05,482 I've got a reward for you, my little hero. 685 00:55:06,732 --> 00:55:10,247 You're all going to scour every inch of this rat's nest! 686 00:55:11,052 --> 00:55:12,804 Inside and out. 687 00:55:14,772 --> 00:55:17,809 I mean the bed frames, the window ledges... 688 00:55:18,052 --> 00:55:20,043 ...the linoleum... 689 00:55:21,852 --> 00:55:23,490 ...the toilet seats. 690 00:55:25,572 --> 00:55:27,164 You understand me? 691 00:55:27,612 --> 00:55:29,603 Ma'am. Yes, ma'am. 692 00:55:30,332 --> 00:55:31,651 I can't hear you. 693 00:55:33,812 --> 00:55:36,007 I can't hear you! 694 00:55:44,492 --> 00:55:45,641 Thank you. 695 00:55:49,412 --> 00:55:52,210 It breaks my little old heart... 696 00:55:52,452 --> 00:55:54,647 ...to have to bust up our winning team... 697 00:55:54,892 --> 00:55:57,770 ...but I have been assigned to a new post. 698 00:55:58,012 --> 00:55:59,604 A good post! 699 00:56:01,052 --> 00:56:03,691 Let's not keep in touch, shall we! 700 00:56:44,252 --> 00:56:46,686 Busted up, the whole team. 701 00:56:46,932 --> 00:56:48,365 Busted up. 702 00:56:49,652 --> 00:56:52,325 I have been assigned to a new post. 703 00:56:59,052 --> 00:57:00,167 Come on. 704 00:57:37,412 --> 00:57:38,845 Good post! 705 00:58:08,852 --> 00:58:10,251 That was nice. 706 00:58:11,412 --> 00:58:13,528 Keep in touch, shall we? 707 00:59:32,052 --> 00:59:33,121 At ease! 708 00:59:37,132 --> 00:59:38,850 Didn't think you'd make it, did you? 709 00:59:41,052 --> 00:59:43,850 You will no longer be known as trainees. 710 00:59:46,172 --> 00:59:48,527 You have earned the right to call yourselves... 711 00:59:48,812 --> 00:59:51,884 ...United States soldiers, and I'm proud of each of you. 712 00:59:54,452 --> 00:59:56,090 On Monday you will receive... 713 00:59:56,332 --> 00:59:59,210 ...your advanced individual training assignments. 714 00:59:59,812 --> 01:00:00,881 Each of you... 715 01:00:07,612 --> 01:00:08,647 ...will be given... 716 01:00:09,172 --> 01:00:11,686 ...a special responsibility which will play... 717 01:00:11,932 --> 01:00:14,890 ...a key role in the defense of the free world. 718 01:00:15,212 --> 01:00:17,362 My heartfelt congratulations and best wishes. 719 01:00:19,732 --> 01:00:21,324 I almost forgot. 720 01:00:23,452 --> 01:00:25,920 Dismissed till 0800 Monday morning. Have a good one! 721 01:00:53,412 --> 01:00:54,242 Evening, ladies. 722 01:00:54,492 --> 01:00:55,971 We're not interested. 723 01:00:56,212 --> 01:00:57,964 Sorry. 724 01:00:59,412 --> 01:01:01,164 All right, I'm uptight, okay? 725 01:01:01,412 --> 01:01:04,688 Get yourself a drink, we're going to cruise. 726 01:01:32,252 --> 01:01:35,483 Judy Benjamin, this is Johnny Rourke. 727 01:01:35,732 --> 01:01:38,007 And Kim... I forget your last name. 728 01:01:38,252 --> 01:01:39,321 Osaka. 729 01:01:40,652 --> 01:01:43,291 Come on, sweetheart, let's go. 730 01:01:46,212 --> 01:01:48,362 What's happening, Judy? 731 01:01:50,972 --> 01:01:52,200 Bourbon, no ice. 732 01:01:54,292 --> 01:01:56,442 I'm with Olivetti of Tokyo. 733 01:01:56,692 --> 01:01:59,047 Johnny is my southeastern U.S. Sales manager. 734 01:01:59,292 --> 01:02:01,965 He always shows me a hip time. 735 01:02:05,972 --> 01:02:07,564 What time is it? 736 01:02:09,892 --> 01:02:11,769 I just took your picture, mama! 737 01:02:13,892 --> 01:02:15,803 Very hip. 738 01:02:16,212 --> 01:02:18,885 Look, I've got to go back to the base. 739 01:02:19,132 --> 01:02:21,487 Where's the fire? Come on. 740 01:02:22,132 --> 01:02:24,805 This could be a big night for you. 741 01:02:26,332 --> 01:02:27,970 Sincerely. 742 01:02:30,132 --> 01:02:31,724 Liz? 743 01:02:32,212 --> 01:02:33,565 - How are you? - God, I'm fine. 744 01:02:33,812 --> 01:02:36,007 I can't believe this! 745 01:02:36,972 --> 01:02:40,328 Listen, thanks, but I don't need the loan. 746 01:02:40,572 --> 01:02:42,210 What are you doing in New Orleans? 747 01:02:42,452 --> 01:02:44,966 My dad's here on a medical conference and we all came. 748 01:02:45,212 --> 01:02:46,770 Come and see them, they'll die! 749 01:02:47,012 --> 01:02:49,401 Wait a minute. Who is that with your parents? 750 01:02:50,972 --> 01:02:54,726 A French gynecologist. He and Dad spoke on the Lamaze panel together. 751 01:02:55,172 --> 01:02:57,128 - Isn't he totally gorgeous? - Totally. 752 01:02:57,372 --> 01:02:59,567 If it weren't for Jeffrey, I'd go for him myself. 753 01:02:59,812 --> 01:03:01,643 Look who I found! 754 01:03:03,372 --> 01:03:05,283 My God, how are you, darling? 755 01:03:05,532 --> 01:03:09,241 Kid, you look wonderful! Please give me a hug. 756 01:03:13,012 --> 01:03:14,331 Sit down. 757 01:03:17,092 --> 01:03:19,367 - Henri Tremont. - Benjamin, Judy. 758 01:03:19,612 --> 01:03:22,251 Will you you look at this? GI Judy! 759 01:03:22,492 --> 01:03:24,369 We'll call your parents. 760 01:03:24,612 --> 01:03:26,489 They'll be so thrilled we saw you. 761 01:03:26,732 --> 01:03:29,121 Your mother's coming along very nicely. 762 01:03:29,412 --> 01:03:31,209 She gained back some of the weight. 763 01:03:32,692 --> 01:03:33,681 Champagne? 764 01:03:33,972 --> 01:03:35,200 I'd love some, thank you. 765 01:03:35,452 --> 01:03:36,771 Since Yale's fu... 766 01:03:38,132 --> 01:03:41,761 By the way, I can't get over you in this Army outfit. 767 01:03:42,012 --> 01:03:44,606 She didn't swim because she didn't want her hair wet. 768 01:03:44,852 --> 01:03:46,001 This is true. 769 01:03:46,252 --> 01:03:47,571 What it's like to be a WAC? 770 01:03:47,852 --> 01:03:50,320 - I'm not a WAC. - How often do you talk to your folks? 771 01:03:50,572 --> 01:03:53,211 Tell Henri how long we've known your parents. 772 01:03:53,492 --> 01:03:56,006 Shall I make a long story short? 773 01:03:56,812 --> 01:03:58,450 Leo and I and Judy's parents... 774 01:03:58,692 --> 01:04:02,731 ...double-dated in Atlantic City, before even any one of us was married. 775 01:04:02,972 --> 01:04:06,089 It wasn't Atlantic City. It was Asbury Park, but it's all right. 776 01:04:06,332 --> 01:04:09,608 I've never been to Asbury Park in my life. 777 01:04:12,412 --> 01:04:13,481 Would you like to dance? 778 01:04:13,972 --> 01:04:15,610 I'd love to dance. 779 01:04:28,932 --> 01:04:30,524 The Lemishes are terrific people... 780 01:04:30,772 --> 01:04:34,162 ...but 4 hours of making long stories short was driving me crazy. 781 01:04:34,412 --> 01:04:37,131 4 hours? Try 28 years. 782 01:04:40,932 --> 01:04:43,605 I've never danced with a soldier before. 783 01:04:43,852 --> 01:04:46,605 I've never danced as a soldier before. 784 01:04:49,492 --> 01:04:51,608 - I kind of like it. - So do I. 785 01:04:57,092 --> 01:04:59,242 Do you have a boyfriend in this Army? 786 01:04:59,492 --> 01:05:00,686 No. 787 01:05:02,692 --> 01:05:04,569 Don't you get lonely? 788 01:05:05,572 --> 01:05:09,167 - How'd you get to speak English so well? - Baltimore. 789 01:05:09,412 --> 01:05:12,324 - Maryland? - I went to med school at Johns Hopkins. 790 01:05:30,332 --> 01:05:33,927 I just can't believe that you're in this Army. 791 01:05:36,532 --> 01:05:38,841 If I knew you better, I'd show you my dog tags. 792 01:05:40,492 --> 01:05:41,607 How much better? 793 01:06:01,052 --> 01:06:02,929 Let's go to my room. 794 01:06:07,892 --> 01:06:10,247 I'm really attracted to you. 795 01:06:11,212 --> 01:06:15,444 But I'm not ready to make love to a man I just met an hour and a half ago. 796 01:06:16,292 --> 01:06:17,930 I'm sorry. 797 01:06:18,332 --> 01:06:20,368 That's just the way I am. 798 01:06:22,052 --> 01:06:26,489 Usually, by the time I kiss a guy, I already know his mother's maiden name. 799 01:06:29,092 --> 01:06:30,764 I wish I knew you better. 800 01:06:31,332 --> 01:06:33,004 I'm thirty-four... 801 01:06:33,292 --> 01:06:36,204 ...and I live alone in Neuilly, on the outskirts of Paris. 802 01:06:37,532 --> 01:06:39,921 I'm the only child... 803 01:06:40,412 --> 01:06:42,642 ...and my father is also a doctor. 804 01:06:43,892 --> 01:06:45,120 What else? 805 01:06:46,292 --> 01:06:48,681 When I'm not working I play soccer. 806 01:06:50,332 --> 01:06:52,243 Let's see... 807 01:06:53,372 --> 01:06:54,885 I'm Jewish. 808 01:07:17,492 --> 01:07:20,882 Now I know what I've been faking all these years. 809 01:07:30,452 --> 01:07:31,885 That was your first? 810 01:07:33,812 --> 01:07:35,370 And second. 811 01:07:47,412 --> 01:07:48,891 Where are you going? 812 01:07:49,132 --> 01:07:52,204 - Just to get a sip of champagne. - I want to go with you. 813 01:08:06,572 --> 01:08:08,005 I'm sorry. 814 01:08:12,052 --> 01:08:13,280 No I'm not. 815 01:08:16,492 --> 01:08:17,845 What? 816 01:08:19,212 --> 01:08:20,850 Private Benjamin. 817 01:08:23,732 --> 01:08:26,087 Meeting you tonight was... 818 01:08:29,212 --> 01:08:31,362 It was just what I needed. 819 01:08:41,012 --> 01:08:43,048 What you needed? 820 01:08:50,932 --> 01:08:52,604 If you're ever in Paris... 821 01:08:53,732 --> 01:08:55,450 If you're ever in Biloxi. 822 01:08:59,972 --> 01:09:01,644 It was nice meeting you. 823 01:09:21,652 --> 01:09:22,721 What did you get? 824 01:09:22,972 --> 01:09:26,760 - MP School. - You can put your violence to good use. 825 01:09:27,052 --> 01:09:29,202 - Smoke and flame specialist. - What's that? 826 01:09:29,452 --> 01:09:30,362 A fireman. 827 01:09:30,612 --> 01:09:33,080 I got transferred to Fort Ord, California. 828 01:09:33,332 --> 01:09:36,005 You got the yachts, honey! You got the yachts! 829 01:09:36,572 --> 01:09:38,688 - What? - OCS. 830 01:09:38,932 --> 01:09:40,524 Can you believe it?! 831 01:09:40,772 --> 01:09:45,368 - Honey, you're going to be an officer. - There goes a beautiful friendship. 832 01:09:45,612 --> 01:09:46,488 What did you get? 833 01:09:46,772 --> 01:09:48,967 I don't know. I'm petrified. 834 01:09:49,332 --> 01:09:50,765 Excuse me! 835 01:09:51,132 --> 01:09:52,963 - Where's Benjamin? - Right there. 836 01:09:53,932 --> 01:09:54,887 Thornbirds? 837 01:09:55,812 --> 01:09:57,006 Me? 838 01:09:57,492 --> 01:09:59,084 They don't have women Thornbirds. 839 01:09:59,332 --> 01:10:00,685 They do now. 840 01:10:05,692 --> 01:10:09,321 I was a skinny fighting lad No more than seventeen 841 01:10:09,572 --> 01:10:13,485 The sorriest excuse for a man That you have ever seen 842 01:10:13,732 --> 01:10:17,247 But now I am a Thornbird And as proud as I can be 843 01:10:17,492 --> 01:10:21,371 Colonel Thornbush Made a man out of me 844 01:10:26,092 --> 01:10:29,880 Glory, glory I'll be falling through the sky 845 01:10:30,132 --> 01:10:33,841 Glory, glory I am not afraid to die 846 01:10:34,092 --> 01:10:37,402 Glory, glory I'm as proud as I can be 847 01:10:37,652 --> 01:10:41,565 Colonel Thornbush Made a man out of me 848 01:11:33,772 --> 01:11:35,683 Good morning, sir. 849 01:11:35,932 --> 01:11:37,445 I'd like you to meet my wife. 850 01:11:38,332 --> 01:11:42,007 - Good to meet you, Mrs. Thornbush. - Good to meet you, Miss Lady Thornbird. 851 01:11:42,252 --> 01:11:45,050 - I've heard a lot about you. - Thank you. 852 01:11:45,372 --> 01:11:47,249 I guess this is the Thorndog. 853 01:11:47,572 --> 01:11:48,766 Shake, Scrabble! 854 01:11:50,772 --> 01:11:54,082 You must be nervous about the big jump tomorrow. 855 01:11:54,332 --> 01:11:56,721 The Colonel says I can do it. I guess I can. 856 01:11:56,972 --> 01:11:59,440 The Colonel's motto is, "Life is a series... 857 01:11:59,692 --> 01:12:03,048 ...of challenges to be met and mastered." 858 01:12:03,332 --> 01:12:07,291 I hope you catch a cloud, Benjamin. Not a feeling like it in the world. 859 01:12:07,732 --> 01:12:11,281 You're in a veil of white, not a sound except your beating heart. 860 01:12:12,092 --> 01:12:13,650 It's godlike. 861 01:12:18,692 --> 01:12:21,650 You must be very special. 862 01:12:21,972 --> 01:12:24,008 The "Big T" is a great judge of character. 863 01:12:24,252 --> 01:12:26,049 Stop gabbing and let this soldier... 864 01:12:26,292 --> 01:12:27,247 ...get some chow. 865 01:12:27,492 --> 01:12:28,845 Goodbye, sir. 866 01:12:31,252 --> 01:12:34,244 I really appreciate your confidence in me. 867 01:12:34,492 --> 01:12:36,289 I'm not going to let you down. 868 01:12:37,532 --> 01:12:40,126 See you at 13,000 feet, okay? 869 01:12:47,252 --> 01:12:49,083 Oy vey! 870 01:13:00,492 --> 01:13:02,403 Go with it! Soar! You're a Thornbird! 871 01:13:04,572 --> 01:13:06,767 Come on, Benjamin, let's go! All right? 872 01:13:11,852 --> 01:13:13,888 - You can do it! Trust me! - I can't! 873 01:13:15,012 --> 01:13:17,128 I'm ashamed, but I'm afraid to die. 874 01:13:17,372 --> 01:13:20,523 - I'm afraid, Colonel. I'm not brave. - Take it easy! 875 01:13:20,772 --> 01:13:22,000 I can't. I'm afraid... 876 01:13:22,252 --> 01:13:24,004 ...my chute won't open. 877 01:13:24,252 --> 01:13:26,641 - Calm down, Benjamin! - What if I fall upside down? 878 01:13:26,892 --> 01:13:30,089 - I could vomit in midair! - Take it easy! 879 01:13:30,332 --> 01:13:34,086 I tried to be macho, but those guys are better at being men than I am! 880 01:13:34,372 --> 01:13:36,283 Relax, Benjamin, you don't have to jump! 881 01:13:36,852 --> 01:13:38,444 - I don't? - No! 882 01:13:38,692 --> 01:13:40,762 Take it easy, girl! Shape up! 883 01:13:41,492 --> 01:13:42,766 You better? 884 01:13:43,212 --> 01:13:44,964 I feel better now. 885 01:13:45,212 --> 01:13:47,726 You don't have to jump. 886 01:13:48,092 --> 01:13:50,003 You're a good man. 887 01:13:50,292 --> 01:13:51,850 There are other ways you can serve. 888 01:13:58,092 --> 01:13:59,002 Happy, darling? 889 01:13:59,692 --> 01:14:01,683 - You want it! - What are you doing? 890 01:14:01,932 --> 01:14:04,321 I can smell fear in any man and passion in any woman! 891 01:14:04,572 --> 01:14:05,561 You want it! 892 01:14:07,412 --> 01:14:10,085 My God, this isn't happening to me! 893 01:14:11,212 --> 01:14:12,361 I'm going to take you. 894 01:14:12,692 --> 01:14:15,286 I'm not in the mood. Suddenly I feel nauseous. 895 01:14:15,532 --> 01:14:17,124 Come to papa. 896 01:14:17,852 --> 01:14:20,844 I don't think so, sir, but thanks anyway. 897 01:14:24,532 --> 01:14:26,921 My God! Open, please! 898 01:14:35,252 --> 01:14:36,367 At ease. 899 01:14:39,012 --> 01:14:40,843 I'm glad you're back in one piece. 900 01:14:42,332 --> 01:14:46,564 I apologize for yesterday's indiscretion. An unforgivable breach of discipline. 901 01:14:47,252 --> 01:14:48,765 And taste, sir. 902 01:14:51,692 --> 01:14:53,967 I hope it hasn't soured you on the military. 903 01:14:54,332 --> 01:14:56,971 The question is how long you'll continue as a Thornbird. 904 01:14:57,212 --> 01:14:59,089 Hopefully not too long, sir. 905 01:15:01,132 --> 01:15:02,281 Understood. 906 01:15:02,532 --> 01:15:06,241 That's why I've put you on special assignment, transferred to another post. 907 01:15:07,372 --> 01:15:09,567 A special assignment on the ground, I hope. 908 01:15:10,412 --> 01:15:12,289 - A job in procurement. - Procurement? 909 01:15:12,532 --> 01:15:15,490 That's purchasing. I've cut your orders, you leave at 1500. 910 01:15:17,532 --> 01:15:18,601 Greenland? 911 01:15:18,852 --> 01:15:20,729 What, penguins? Forget it! 912 01:15:21,452 --> 01:15:22,521 Forget it! 913 01:15:23,652 --> 01:15:26,564 I was in the first wave of the Rangers at Normandy on D-day. 914 01:15:26,812 --> 01:15:31,124 In 1952 I was standing with my troops on the banks of the Yalu River, waiting. 915 01:15:31,372 --> 01:15:33,567 MacArthur phoned. "Come home, Thornie... 916 01:15:33,892 --> 01:15:36,087 ...it's not our year." I am a good leader. 917 01:15:36,332 --> 01:15:38,243 No, I am a great leader! 918 01:15:38,692 --> 01:15:40,967 Your ass is going to Greenland for a reason. 919 01:15:41,212 --> 01:15:45,728 I won't let you shoot your mouth off, blemishing my record with innuendo. 920 01:15:46,052 --> 01:15:47,724 Innuendo? Try rape. 921 01:15:50,612 --> 01:15:51,442 How about Guam? 922 01:15:52,452 --> 01:15:53,851 My hair will frizz. 923 01:15:55,132 --> 01:15:55,962 Okinawa? 924 01:15:56,372 --> 01:15:59,284 Malaria? Pass. 925 01:15:59,932 --> 01:16:02,207 We have bases all over the world. 926 01:16:32,052 --> 01:16:34,646 Dear Glass, hello from Belgium. 927 01:16:34,892 --> 01:16:38,441 Sorry it's taken me so long to write, but I've been very busy. 928 01:16:38,692 --> 01:16:40,444 S.H.A.P.E. Is an amazing place. 929 01:16:40,732 --> 01:16:43,451 The top military headquarters in Europe. 930 01:16:43,692 --> 01:16:46,604 Definitely the most exciting duty a soldier could pull. 931 01:16:46,852 --> 01:16:49,127 My M. O. S. Is Purchasing Specialist... 932 01:16:49,372 --> 01:16:52,091 ...the one job I've trained for all my life. 933 01:16:52,892 --> 01:16:54,564 My superior is a terrific guy... 934 01:16:55,332 --> 01:16:58,005 ...a Turkish officer named Lieutenant Rahmi. 935 01:16:58,252 --> 01:17:02,211 But the best one can say of his English is that it's better than my Turkish. 936 01:17:03,132 --> 01:17:04,690 Benyameen, ka'. 937 01:17:05,972 --> 01:17:07,041 Sate. 938 01:17:08,452 --> 01:17:12,331 Benyameen, I need the inpoormation on the drying caruses. 939 01:17:12,732 --> 01:17:13,687 Driving courses? 940 01:17:13,932 --> 01:17:16,048 Yes, sir. I'm working on that now. 941 01:17:16,292 --> 01:17:20,046 Excellent. I want you to rye-eed it to the counsule. 942 01:17:20,852 --> 01:17:22,683 Me? Read it to the council? 943 01:17:23,132 --> 01:17:25,088 Do want me to rye-eed it? 944 01:17:28,732 --> 01:17:30,688 Private Benyameen... Benjamin! 945 01:17:30,932 --> 01:17:33,969 I got a charming apartment through an ad in Stars and Stripes. 946 01:17:34,212 --> 01:17:37,522 It's right over a bakery, has a hot plate, running water... 947 01:17:37,772 --> 01:17:39,649 ...and all the croissants I can eat. 948 01:17:39,892 --> 01:17:42,531 It's not exactly Versailles, but it's home. 949 01:17:42,772 --> 01:17:46,731 For the first time in months, I feel that things are really going my way. 950 01:18:01,692 --> 01:18:04,411 I finally got the nerve to pay Henri a surprise visit. 951 01:18:04,652 --> 01:18:08,361 I'll let you know how it turns out. I hope he remembers me. 952 01:18:08,612 --> 01:18:12,810 My love to Moe and Gianelli. Votre amie, Private B. 953 01:18:13,412 --> 01:18:16,449 Let's see... just got into town. 954 01:18:17,972 --> 01:18:21,681 And feeling kind of lonely. No, don't say lonely. 955 01:18:21,932 --> 01:18:23,081 Oh, God! 956 01:18:48,452 --> 01:18:52,081 It's a great house, but don't be impressed. It's a hand-me-down. 957 01:19:10,452 --> 01:19:12,010 - Morning. - Nine o'clock? 958 01:19:12,252 --> 01:19:14,925 I haven't slept this late in 3 months. 959 01:19:20,252 --> 01:19:22,402 - Where are you going? - Sunday soccer. 960 01:19:23,652 --> 01:19:24,971 Merde! I'm late. 961 01:19:25,252 --> 01:19:27,049 I have to go anyway. 962 01:19:27,332 --> 01:19:28,970 Don't be ridiculous, please! 963 01:19:29,212 --> 01:19:32,409 Stay. I want you to be here when I get back at three o'clock. 964 01:19:32,652 --> 01:19:36,930 I'm going to make love to you, and I'll take you to my favorite bistro. 965 01:19:37,692 --> 01:19:40,252 And we'll listen to some nice Italian jazz. 966 01:19:41,572 --> 01:19:42,448 Max! 967 01:19:52,452 --> 01:19:54,443 Hello, baby! 968 01:19:56,692 --> 01:19:58,284 He's beautiful. 969 01:19:58,532 --> 01:19:59,521 Sit! 970 01:20:04,292 --> 01:20:05,930 The dog is deaf. 971 01:20:12,252 --> 01:20:14,447 Wait for me, please. 972 01:20:19,292 --> 01:20:21,248 I could get used to you. 973 01:20:43,012 --> 01:20:45,765 I paid 8,000 francs for this rug. 974 01:20:46,772 --> 01:20:50,970 I'm sorry. He gets nervous around new people. 975 01:20:51,212 --> 01:20:52,964 He's not the only one. 976 01:20:57,212 --> 01:21:00,170 - I have to clean this up. - You go play. I'll clean up. 977 01:21:00,412 --> 01:21:02,801 No, I'll clean it. Go play. 978 01:21:14,452 --> 01:21:15,680 I adore you. 979 01:21:22,892 --> 01:21:27,443 There are two bids we recommend: Sergio Devoto's Driving Academy... 980 01:21:27,772 --> 01:21:30,366 ...which teaches evasive driving to the chauffeurs... 981 01:21:30,612 --> 01:21:33,809 ...of such dignitaries as General Alexander Haig... 982 01:21:34,052 --> 01:21:37,601 ...President Giscard d'Estaing, Mick Jagger... 983 01:21:37,892 --> 01:21:40,122 Excuse me, Private Benjamin... 984 01:21:40,372 --> 01:21:43,364 ...I'm afraid I missed the security data on these drivers. 985 01:21:43,612 --> 01:21:46,080 The security data was unavailable to me, sir. 986 01:21:46,732 --> 01:21:49,087 Who's here from security? 987 01:21:50,852 --> 01:21:51,682 I am, sir. 988 01:21:55,332 --> 01:21:57,892 That material is highly classified, sir. 989 01:21:58,132 --> 01:22:01,442 I am certain this soldier is not cleared for that level. 990 01:22:01,692 --> 01:22:03,683 Then clear her, Captain. 991 01:22:05,292 --> 01:22:06,202 Is there a problem? 992 01:22:09,252 --> 01:22:10,128 No, sir. 993 01:22:10,372 --> 01:22:13,409 Then we'll expect a revised report by the next council session. 994 01:22:13,652 --> 01:22:14,641 Gentlemen... 995 01:22:14,972 --> 01:22:15,961 ...chow time. 996 01:22:20,252 --> 01:22:21,241 Good job. 997 01:22:40,292 --> 01:22:42,010 Behave yourself, Judy Benjamin... 998 01:22:42,252 --> 01:22:46,723 ...or I'll drum your ass out of S.H.A.P.E. So fast it'll make your head spin. 999 01:22:53,932 --> 01:22:55,490 Sorry, Helga. 1000 01:22:55,772 --> 01:22:57,603 Who is your friend, Doreen? 1001 01:22:57,852 --> 01:23:00,082 She's no fwiend... friend. 1002 01:23:00,852 --> 01:23:02,968 Listen, the bags are packed. 1003 01:23:08,052 --> 01:23:10,088 My ex-girlfriend, Claire, painted it. 1004 01:23:10,332 --> 01:23:13,961 - What's it supposed to be, death? - No, it's a self-portrait. 1005 01:23:14,812 --> 01:23:16,803 How long ago did you and this... 1006 01:23:17,652 --> 01:23:19,370 ...painter break up? 1007 01:23:20,132 --> 01:23:24,205 - 14 weeks ago, Monday. - You're still counting it in weeks? 1008 01:23:25,972 --> 01:23:29,726 How come you broke up? Or is that too personal? 1009 01:23:31,372 --> 01:23:32,930 Claire is a brilliant woman. 1010 01:23:33,172 --> 01:23:37,324 I even joined the Communist Party for her for a week. 1011 01:23:37,972 --> 01:23:41,601 Not romantic though, much too independent. 1012 01:23:45,292 --> 01:23:47,408 Do you know a lot of tortured artists? 1013 01:23:47,972 --> 01:23:50,167 Only tortured lawyers. 1014 01:23:51,532 --> 01:23:53,762 Your first husband was a lawyer? 1015 01:23:54,012 --> 01:23:57,288 No, Rick was a tennis pro at the El San Juan. 1016 01:23:57,772 --> 01:24:01,447 My therapist said that I had a neurotic need to find a father figure. 1017 01:24:01,692 --> 01:24:05,446 And he had a neurotic need to find a father-in-law who had a lot of money. 1018 01:24:14,692 --> 01:24:19,368 You know, I've been married to men I haven't felt this comfortable with. 1019 01:25:30,052 --> 01:25:33,442 What's the story with you and this Tremont character? 1020 01:25:34,292 --> 01:25:36,010 Why are you spying on me? 1021 01:25:48,732 --> 01:25:52,327 - Your lover-boy's a Red! - Don't be ridiculous! 1022 01:25:52,572 --> 01:25:55,405 He was a Red for about five seconds. 1023 01:25:55,652 --> 01:25:57,449 Because of a woman he used to date. 1024 01:25:57,892 --> 01:26:01,771 Nobody stops being a Communist. It's a terminal disease. 1025 01:26:02,012 --> 01:26:05,641 And I am not going to sit around with my thumb up my ass... 1026 01:26:05,892 --> 01:26:08,281 ...while you divulge classified information... 1027 01:26:08,532 --> 01:26:10,682 ...during the throes of passion. 1028 01:26:10,932 --> 01:26:14,049 Please! I can barely speak during the throes of passion. 1029 01:26:14,452 --> 01:26:17,649 Believe me, Henri Tremont is as much a Communist as me. 1030 01:26:18,012 --> 01:26:19,081 Or you! 1031 01:26:20,612 --> 01:26:23,763 If Patton were alive, he would slap your face. 1032 01:26:27,012 --> 01:26:28,206 As you were. 1033 01:26:32,612 --> 01:26:33,931 Captain Lewis. 1034 01:26:35,972 --> 01:26:39,487 Private Benjamin has made herself vulnerable to a Red, sir. 1035 01:26:39,732 --> 01:26:40,881 I read the report. 1036 01:26:41,132 --> 01:26:42,087 It's not true, sir. 1037 01:26:42,332 --> 01:26:46,610 We're not blind to the fact that half of Europe is Communistic. 1038 01:26:47,732 --> 01:26:49,962 But here at S.H.A.P.E. They're still the enemy. 1039 01:26:50,652 --> 01:26:52,210 General Foley, Henri Tremont... 1040 01:26:52,452 --> 01:26:55,728 ...is not a Communist. He's a gynecologist. 1041 01:26:56,732 --> 01:26:58,962 Captain Lewis is hung up on a technicality. 1042 01:26:59,292 --> 01:27:03,410 I'm sorry, but it's against regulations for you to associate with this man. 1043 01:27:04,372 --> 01:27:06,647 You're up for a promotion. 1044 01:27:06,892 --> 01:27:10,043 I'd hate to see this incident jeopardize your career. 1045 01:27:11,212 --> 01:27:13,168 What are you trying to tell me, sir? 1046 01:27:14,732 --> 01:27:16,370 It's either him... 1047 01:27:16,652 --> 01:27:17,641 ...or us. 1048 01:27:41,932 --> 01:27:43,968 - Can't you hear? - Can't you move? 1049 01:27:50,212 --> 01:27:51,611 It's Judy. 1050 01:27:51,852 --> 01:27:52,807 Judy who? 1051 01:27:53,652 --> 01:27:55,882 Darling, how are you? 1052 01:27:57,172 --> 01:27:58,002 What? 1053 01:28:04,292 --> 01:28:05,850 She's getting married. 1054 01:28:21,372 --> 01:28:24,523 Monsieur Shiffman! Thank God! 1055 01:28:29,772 --> 01:28:32,240 Listen, the tablecloths... 1056 01:28:36,452 --> 01:28:40,331 ...they're terrible. The color, la couleur, is all wrong. 1057 01:28:43,612 --> 01:28:46,684 The wedding is in yellow... 1058 01:28:47,252 --> 01:28:49,447 ...and butterscotch. 1059 01:28:50,532 --> 01:28:53,365 And right now I'm looking at something entre... 1060 01:28:53,612 --> 01:28:56,206 ...canari et banane. 1061 01:28:56,612 --> 01:28:57,488 Gabby! 1062 01:28:59,812 --> 01:29:00,961 Pardon, Madame! 1063 01:29:02,012 --> 01:29:04,446 I get the Hoover. 1064 01:29:09,412 --> 01:29:12,006 Was she a good maid before she met me? 1065 01:29:13,972 --> 01:29:16,884 Is it smart to fire the maid just before the wedding? 1066 01:29:17,332 --> 01:29:19,368 Especially with your parents coming. 1067 01:29:19,732 --> 01:29:23,088 Okay, she stays until after the wedding. 1068 01:29:25,372 --> 01:29:27,328 You look very beautiful today. 1069 01:29:28,372 --> 01:29:29,691 So do you. 1070 01:29:30,412 --> 01:29:32,562 What did your friends say when they called? 1071 01:29:32,812 --> 01:29:35,531 They're coming over on Army Transport next week. 1072 01:29:35,772 --> 01:29:38,570 I can't wait to see them. It's going to be so much fun. 1073 01:29:38,812 --> 01:29:41,087 And Glass is learning French! 1074 01:29:49,972 --> 01:29:51,803 Honey, who was that? 1075 01:29:53,412 --> 01:29:55,243 It was Claire. 1076 01:29:58,812 --> 01:30:00,040 Claire? 1077 01:30:12,212 --> 01:30:14,248 Get over this obsession with Claire. 1078 01:30:14,572 --> 01:30:16,608 You stood with your tongue hanging out. 1079 01:30:16,932 --> 01:30:18,650 I was surprised to see her. 1080 01:30:18,892 --> 01:30:21,964 Surprised? I'd call it catatonic. 1081 01:30:22,212 --> 01:30:25,807 You don't see me getting hung up on your old boyfriends and husbands. 1082 01:30:26,052 --> 01:30:27,405 Do you? 1083 01:30:29,172 --> 01:30:30,571 Listen to me. 1084 01:30:30,852 --> 01:30:31,887 Come here. 1085 01:30:34,092 --> 01:30:34,968 I love you. 1086 01:30:35,572 --> 01:30:37,563 We're getting married in a week. 1087 01:30:45,052 --> 01:30:46,644 I want to have a baby with you. 1088 01:30:49,292 --> 01:30:50,361 You do? 1089 01:30:52,012 --> 01:30:53,684 Oh, honey! 1090 01:30:54,892 --> 01:30:56,450 I'd love to have a baby. 1091 01:30:57,892 --> 01:30:59,530 I thought I was getting too old. 1092 01:31:03,532 --> 01:31:05,170 A baby! 1093 01:31:08,452 --> 01:31:11,330 - I want us to be together always. - We will! 1094 01:31:17,612 --> 01:31:19,568 It's the reality of things sometimes... 1095 01:31:19,812 --> 01:31:23,521 ...they don't always work out exactly as they are planned, so... 1096 01:31:24,772 --> 01:31:26,285 What are you saying? 1097 01:31:29,092 --> 01:31:31,162 - I want you to sign this. - What is it? 1098 01:31:31,412 --> 01:31:33,289 Contrat de mariage. 1099 01:31:34,252 --> 01:31:36,891 A letter of financial agreement. 1100 01:31:37,532 --> 01:31:41,810 God forbid something should happen to us. It just helps us stay friends. 1101 01:31:43,492 --> 01:31:45,847 I want to be your wife, not your friend. 1102 01:31:46,132 --> 01:31:49,920 It's fair. I allocated for myself what was mine before our marriage. 1103 01:31:50,492 --> 01:31:52,562 You cannot expect me to give you... 1104 01:31:52,812 --> 01:31:56,646 ...half of a house that's been in my family for centuries. 1105 01:32:00,372 --> 01:32:03,648 We don't need this kind of thing between us. We'll make it. 1106 01:32:04,572 --> 01:32:06,449 I can't get married without it. 1107 01:32:16,092 --> 01:32:17,923 It's in French. 1108 01:32:18,172 --> 01:32:19,571 Please. 1109 01:32:37,452 --> 01:32:39,522 Private Benjamin? 1110 01:32:39,772 --> 01:32:42,127 Did I write that? I'm sorry. 1111 01:32:42,372 --> 01:32:43,964 I'll just cross it out. 1112 01:32:49,012 --> 01:32:50,650 Initial it. 1113 01:33:04,372 --> 01:33:06,727 Where shall we go tonight? Regine's? 1114 01:33:21,452 --> 01:33:24,922 Took Henri's car to the shop. Made Henri's hair appointment. 1115 01:33:25,172 --> 01:33:26,969 Took Max to the vet. 1116 01:33:27,212 --> 01:33:29,567 Picked up Henri's soccer uniform. 1117 01:33:36,092 --> 01:33:39,323 You've got to remember that I used to be a very active person. 1118 01:33:39,572 --> 01:33:41,722 I was jumping out of airplanes... 1119 01:33:41,972 --> 01:33:44,930 ...and at S.H.A.P.E. It was like nonstop chaos. 1120 01:33:45,172 --> 01:33:47,447 You're not thinking about opening a store? 1121 01:33:47,692 --> 01:33:49,523 No, you were right about that. 1122 01:33:49,772 --> 01:33:53,162 It would've been too much of a hassle to do. It was a bad idea. 1123 01:33:53,412 --> 01:33:56,961 But there have to be other choices. 1124 01:33:57,212 --> 01:33:59,521 Do you know what I did today? 1125 01:34:00,692 --> 01:34:02,683 I rearranged my closet. 1126 01:34:02,932 --> 01:34:04,285 For three hours. 1127 01:34:04,532 --> 01:34:07,683 There's definitely something wrong with that, isn't there? 1128 01:34:09,652 --> 01:34:12,007 - Am I making sense? - No. 1129 01:34:12,892 --> 01:34:14,644 And that's what I love about you. 1130 01:34:17,852 --> 01:34:20,207 This is the color of hair I was talking about. 1131 01:34:21,812 --> 01:34:23,803 I don't know. Maybe. 1132 01:34:25,772 --> 01:34:27,091 I love it. 1133 01:34:53,772 --> 01:34:55,808 Rita Hayworth, I swear to God! 1134 01:34:56,052 --> 01:34:58,964 - I wouldn't have recognized you. - You look stunning! 1135 01:34:59,212 --> 01:35:02,488 Turn around, let me see the outfit. Oh God, doll! Gorgeous! 1136 01:35:02,732 --> 01:35:04,165 It's an absolute vision. 1137 01:35:04,412 --> 01:35:06,448 Her hair is the worst! 1138 01:35:06,692 --> 01:35:10,731 To see you looking like your old self again, you have no idea! 1139 01:35:10,972 --> 01:35:12,769 Who knows what we'd do in her place. 1140 01:35:13,852 --> 01:35:16,605 The important thing is, Judy's Judy again. 1141 01:35:16,852 --> 01:35:21,243 - Truthfully, you don't miss the Army? - What's to miss? $400 a month? 1142 01:35:21,492 --> 01:35:24,370 The only good thing about it was that what's-her-name. 1143 01:35:24,612 --> 01:35:25,931 Captain Lewis? 1144 01:35:26,492 --> 01:35:29,643 I hope her coat's good enough. I had no idea it'd be so chilly. 1145 01:35:29,892 --> 01:35:34,522 - It's November here, Kissy. - It's November everywhere, genius! 1146 01:35:43,052 --> 01:35:44,201 Sit! 1147 01:35:45,772 --> 01:35:47,922 I was talking to Max. 1148 01:35:50,332 --> 01:35:52,323 It's good to see you up. 1149 01:35:53,572 --> 01:35:55,688 Excuse me for interrupting. 1150 01:35:56,732 --> 01:35:58,324 Does this belong to anyone? 1151 01:35:58,572 --> 01:36:01,211 Because I'm positive it isn't mine. 1152 01:36:01,452 --> 01:36:03,204 Oui, Madame. Where did you find it? 1153 01:36:03,452 --> 01:36:04,965 Where you left eet! 1154 01:36:05,292 --> 01:36:08,011 May I ask what you were doing in my bed?! 1155 01:36:08,252 --> 01:36:10,846 I was not in your bed, madame. I make your bed. 1156 01:36:12,372 --> 01:36:13,851 It must have fallen. 1157 01:36:14,932 --> 01:36:15,842 What are you doing? 1158 01:36:16,092 --> 01:36:18,890 I would like to know how this item got into my bed. 1159 01:36:23,172 --> 01:36:26,687 This is too much! Judy, give Gabrielle back the cross. 1160 01:36:33,532 --> 01:36:35,921 What should I think? She's the world's worst maid! 1161 01:36:36,172 --> 01:36:37,764 Enough! Please! 1162 01:36:41,332 --> 01:36:45,564 What's gotten into you lately? It's like I live with the kid from the Exorcist! 1163 01:36:46,732 --> 01:36:49,087 Two weeks ago I was like a god to you! 1164 01:36:49,372 --> 01:36:50,930 Now you show me no respect. 1165 01:36:51,612 --> 01:36:53,091 I respect you. 1166 01:36:53,412 --> 01:36:57,724 Accusing me of sleeping with Gabrielle! You think I'm so low I'd seduce a child? 1167 01:37:00,452 --> 01:37:01,362 Do you? 1168 01:37:06,412 --> 01:37:08,562 Honey, I'm nervous. 1169 01:37:09,292 --> 01:37:11,362 I'm very nervous. 1170 01:37:11,612 --> 01:37:15,685 And I know that once we get married everything is going to be fine. 1171 01:37:15,932 --> 01:37:17,524 I'm sorry. 1172 01:37:26,452 --> 01:37:30,047 I fly 6,000 miles to attend my daughter's wedding... 1173 01:37:30,292 --> 01:37:32,089 ...and the groom is playing soccer! 1174 01:37:32,332 --> 01:37:35,449 Daddy, he'll be here any minute. He probably went into overtime. 1175 01:37:35,772 --> 01:37:37,922 Monsieur, my son is very reliable. 1176 01:37:38,172 --> 01:37:40,925 - He will be here shortly. - It just isn't right! 1177 01:37:45,972 --> 01:37:47,451 Jean-Paul! 1178 01:37:52,212 --> 01:37:53,611 Where is Henri? 1179 01:37:54,252 --> 01:37:57,085 The bum never showed up for the game. Isn't he here? 1180 01:37:58,212 --> 01:37:59,281 No. 1181 01:37:59,612 --> 01:38:00,647 He never showed up? 1182 01:38:03,972 --> 01:38:07,203 Judy, don't hate me for saying this or nothing... 1183 01:38:07,452 --> 01:38:11,604 ...but you really might be better-off. 1184 01:38:11,852 --> 01:38:13,683 Don't be ridiculous! 1185 01:38:15,372 --> 01:38:19,843 I don't know how to say this, but you were starting to act a bit weird again. 1186 01:38:20,092 --> 01:38:22,162 What am I going to do? I'm a wreck. 1187 01:38:22,892 --> 01:38:24,211 He's back! 1188 01:38:28,892 --> 01:38:30,405 You look perfect. 1189 01:38:30,652 --> 01:38:32,210 - Where were you? - I'm fine. 1190 01:38:32,452 --> 01:38:35,125 No, where were you? I was so scared. 1191 01:38:35,372 --> 01:38:38,569 - You don't want to know this. - I do want to know. 1192 01:38:41,092 --> 01:38:42,889 I had to see Claire. 1193 01:38:45,532 --> 01:38:46,487 You were with Claire? 1194 01:38:46,732 --> 01:38:50,327 She is in so much trouble. You've no idea what I've been through. 1195 01:38:50,572 --> 01:38:54,326 There are 75 people waiting for you. Couldn't you have phoned? 1196 01:38:54,572 --> 01:38:58,042 - Don't bad French artists have phones? - She was overwrought. 1197 01:38:58,372 --> 01:39:02,251 Her boyfriend beat her up. I prescribed a sedative for her to sleep. 1198 01:39:02,492 --> 01:39:04,926 That takes 2 minutes, you were gone 4 hours. 1199 01:39:05,172 --> 01:39:07,686 The place was a mess. I hung up clothes and did dishes. 1200 01:39:07,932 --> 01:39:10,048 You did Claire's dishes? 1201 01:39:11,852 --> 01:39:14,525 Shall I stop being nice to people because we're marrying? 1202 01:39:15,052 --> 01:39:18,203 I just don't understand how you could be with Claire... 1203 01:39:18,652 --> 01:39:19,482 ...today. 1204 01:39:19,732 --> 01:39:22,200 You want to walk down the aisle with me or not? 1205 01:40:56,492 --> 01:40:58,801 Not so fast. 1206 01:41:01,012 --> 01:41:04,766 I know this is a very awkward time to do this... 1207 01:41:05,932 --> 01:41:07,206 ...but I want to break up. 1208 01:41:07,492 --> 01:41:09,164 She's crazy again. 1209 01:41:09,892 --> 01:41:11,041 Listen to me. 1210 01:41:11,332 --> 01:41:15,848 You're having an anxiety attack. I'll give you a shot to calm down. 1211 01:41:16,092 --> 01:41:19,084 No, I want to be perfectly conscious when I call a cab. 1212 01:41:19,332 --> 01:41:22,722 What are you doing to me? What is this about? Gabrielle? 1213 01:41:23,412 --> 01:41:26,006 I slept with her one night when you were acting crazy. 1214 01:41:27,292 --> 01:41:29,647 We'll fire her after the wedding. 1215 01:41:33,052 --> 01:41:34,405 You're such a schmuck! 1216 01:41:36,692 --> 01:41:37,522 Daddy... 1217 01:41:37,772 --> 01:41:39,922 ...Mom just fainted. 1218 01:41:41,292 --> 01:41:42,611 Schmuck?! 1219 01:41:43,692 --> 01:41:46,047 When I met you, you were in the Army. 1220 01:41:46,412 --> 01:41:48,721 You were nothing, picking up strangers in bars! 1221 01:41:48,972 --> 01:41:51,042 - Now just a minute! - She was. 1222 01:41:51,532 --> 01:41:55,002 I'll give you a future, a home, a name. For once don't be stupid! 1223 01:41:56,332 --> 01:41:57,685 - There's Claire. - Where? 1224 01:42:04,492 --> 01:42:05,527 Don't call me stupid. 1225 01:45:12,452 --> 01:45:14,443 Subtitled by: GELULA & CO., INC. 90992