All language subtitles for Episode 6001

It's amazing that there was
a time when what you said

could get you locked up in prison.

I actually accrued a reputation
for being irreverent.

Yes, sir, it's a sticky wicket.

I cuss gratuitously, but subject
matter's another story.

This is going to be a good show.

Are there any subjects that are
never appropriate for humor?

People say a good
comedian doesn't have to cuss.

And I thought, "That's fucking rubbish."

How dirty is too dirty?

Why is all that so funny?
I don't know.

What you're about to hear is
going to shock and disgust you.

If you choose to go blue,
you gotta do it right.

Dirty for the sake of dirty,
there's nothing worse than that.

You must promise me something.

You won't get me in any
trouble on the show tonight.

And, listen, I will be cussing tonight.

Just so as you know.
No, I will, I will.

Don't fucking "Aww" me.

Not allowing an artist to use the word fuck

is like not allowing a guitarist
to use the chord "E."

It's possible to play the instrument,

but why the fuck would you bother?

Now, don't wave your finger at me.

You knew when you got here there'd be cussing.

The last thing comedy needs is to be polite.

The world was never changed by anyone

being well-behaved or well-mannered or quiet.

There's a certain exhilaration
in pushing the boundaries.

I had this memory of being, like, 3,

and I would shower with my mother.

My mom got her water from the shower head.

That water would then cascade
down her ample bosom,

and, like, pike off of her '70s Jew bush.

That was my water.

I was raised by parents who spoke explicitly.

There's something about growing up not knowing

that talking about your vagina
or penises was taboo.

Now, if you haven't done it before, ladies,

go home and treat yourself.

Do it tonight.

Just give your man

a little push, push in the tush, tush.

Just give him a little Atari.

My whole comedy career,

I've been told to be less dirty,

and I would get more work

if I just toned it down a little bit.

And it's crazy to me
that a highbrow publication

like "The New Yorker"

would be interested in interviewing me

about why I find it funny to butt-finger a man.

No, please, no, really --

I don't think there's
any subject that's off limits.

I actually did that joke in Alabama, right?

These three rednecks
met me after the show, man.

"Hey, buddy. Come here."

"Hey, buddy, we're Christians.
We don't like what you said."

I said, "Then forgive me."

What we consider offensive or blue

evolves with every generation.

With vaudeville, for the first time,

comedy becomes an industry.

Her poor father, he died of throat trouble.

They hung him.

Vaudeville is created
commercially to clean up humor.

There's no cursing.
There's no blasphemy.

Why?

They want men, women, and children

to be able to come there.

They want a bigger audience.

Ha ha!

Nesteroff: If a vaudevillian did
something onstage

that was objectionable,

they would send a blue envelope
backstage with the material

they wanted excised from their act.

And so that became the whole idea

of that phrase "blue material."

Say good night.

Good night.

So you had vaudeville comedy,
which was accessible to all.

But at the same time, concurrently,

you had another style of comedy

that was a little bit different.

Burlesque houses were often like
going to a a strip club.

Those guys were there with their
trench coats to watch girls.

They had different styles of comedy,

different people performing within them.

I see you lying there.
My anger is aroused.

I pull out my dirk.

Uh-oh, now we're going to the point.

Because burlesque, the primary attraction

was scantily clad ladies,

in order to compete for attention,

a comedian had to do something

that was going to upstage a naked woman.

So they would do this sort of dirty-ish comedy.

Your wife's on television?
Indeed, she is.

I didn't know that.
A magician.

What does she do?
Well, she does one trick

that's really amazing, mystifying.

She takes a little rubber ball.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

She bounces the little rubber ball up and down.

Yeah.
And she stands with her legs like this.

And when the little ball
bounces up and down,

the little ball disappears.

Well, what are you bragging about?

What?

My wife does the same thing with a basketball.

Sure.

Yeah, she does it the hard way.

She's knock-kneed.

Vaudeville is clean.
Burlesque is dirty.

The thing about burlesque is,
that audience is all male.

You're not going to burlesque
to see the comic.

Okay?

You're going to see the boobs.

"The Dean Martin Celebrity Roast,"

coming to you from the MGM Grand Hotel.

Dean, I'd like you to know

that I canceled a proctologist's appointment

to be here tonight.

And I think I made a mistake.

So, in the late '60s and 1970s,

they would televise Friars Club roasts,

but they were sanitized versions

of what you would actually
see at the Friars Club.

Don't get we wrong.

There's a lot of reasons why we
should honor this man tonight.

First of all, he's Italian,
and I love the Italian people.

I'll never forget the word
of Carmine Gangananza

who said to me in Brooklyn
on a Saturday night...

The televised roasts that Dean Martin did

were always so funny, and it was fun to see,

but there's something about
those private Friars Club,

behind closed doors, you know, stag roasts.

The fact that they were these huge stars

like Jack Benny and Milton Berle

that the public had only heard on TV

or on the radio be very squeaky clean.

Suddenly, you got to see another side of it.

I've known Don for about eight years,

and like most performers,

Don has probably thousands of acquaintances,

professional people that he knows.

But he's also one of the people
who has close friends,

and I like to feel that I am one.

I don't want to speak for Don,

but I am one of his very close friends,

and I think that's important to Don

because queers need friends.

Wonderful.

The vaudeville style of comedy

and the burlesque tradition of comedy

came together at the Friars Club.

It's good when an artist
can express themselves in a way

that may not be acceptable

outside that temple of free speech.

People say there's a time and
a place for that kind of comedy.

That's the time and place --
the roast.

I will remember this evening

probably as long as it takes me
to get to my car.

Ladies and gentlemen, here is
a very shocking comedian,

the most shocking comedian of our time,

a young man who is skyrocketing to fame.

Lenny Bruce!

You might be interested
in how I became offensive.

At that time,

there were laws on the book around obscenity.

You couldn't say fuck.

You couldn't say cum.

You couldn't say cock.

I mean, could you imagine that?

I'd like to perhaps
give you a four-letter word

that starts with an "S" and ends with a "T."

First time in television.

I'm not gonna look at you when I say this

because this way, I can't get busted,

you don't know who said it.

The band said it.

Starts with an "S" and ends with
a "T," and the word is "snot."

Lenny Bruce saw himself as a social critic,

and part of that was challenging our language

and why certain words were taboo.

The Jew has no concept

that there's a dirty word graph.

In other words F-U-C-K,

the Jew doesn't know is worth 90 points

and S-H-I-T, 5 points

because both rabbis and priests S-H-I-T.

Only one F-U-C-K's.

If you listen to my father's routines,

you will hear a "obscenity,"

the so-called curse words or blue material.

He did not use them for shock value.

They had a purpose, they had a reason,

and they were leading to a point.

And there's a difference, you know,

between a big piece of art with
a little shit in the middle,

a big piece of art with
a little shit in the middle,

a big piece of art,
then a big piece of shit

with a little art in the middle.

A big piece of shit with art in the middle.

You don't understand the artist
is one big piece of shit.

If he was just playing small joints

and wasn't really a household name,

nobody would have bothered him.

But his popularity started to grow.

He became something of a force
and something of an influence,

so he started to question authority,

and he started to step on toes.

Christ and Moses look at the Earth,

and they say, "Well, obviously,

the book is bombing down there.

The Gideons are shoving it in motel drawers."

So Christ and Moses fly to New York.

They say, what's playing at St. Pat's?

A good double bill --
Spellman and Sheen.

Cardinal Spellman would be
relating love and giving

and forgiveness to the people,

and Christ would be confused

'cause their route took him
through Spanish Harlem.

And he would wonder what 40 Puerto Ricans

were doing living in one room,

and this guy had a ring
on that was worth 8 grand.

What about the accusations

that you tramp on other people's religions?

I discuss religions, many points of view.

I am interested.

I am searching for an answer,
as Billy Graham is.

At this time, priests and people of the cloth,

you bowed to them,
and people would get very angry

because now they're talking about their religion,

their belief system.

You play with somebody's belief system

and their religion, now you got a problem.

And they got the powers-that-be crazy.

"Shut him up.
You've gotta silence him."

Someone saw Lenny Bruce in a club in Chicago,

and he was making jokes
about the Pope or something,

and two detectives went up onstage

because of that remark and handcuffed him

in front of the audience and took him away.

You can't even imagine that today.

They found it was obscene enough

to put me in a jail cell
for the last 24 hours,

which --
And the thing I wished they would do

is tell me what words were obscene.

In court, the cop is reciting

what he thinks that my father's talking about

when my father had the microphone,

and he was doing this.

He was imitating a priest

doing the holy water in the pews.

The cops wrote it down that it looked like

he was pretending masturbation.

It got fierce.
It got really fierce.

There were some really funny,
great comedians, and blue.

But they chose him

to make some, you know, some ridiculous point.

They took away his First Amendment rights.

It was a horrible moment.

The reason I get busted, arrested,

I picked on the wrong God.

If I would have picked on the God

who's replica is in
the whoopee-cushion store,

the tiki god, the Hawaiian god,
those idiots, their dumb God,

I would have been cool.

But I picked on the Western God,

the cute God, the in God, the Kennedy God,

and that's where I screwed up.

No matter how many times he would get arrested,

no matter how many times
he was dragged off the stage,

no matter how many times
he had to go to court,

my father believed

that he had the right to free speech.

My dad went from making $150,000 a year

to being registered as a pauper.

We had no money.

All the money and everything went on lawyers.

The way that he was beaten down and beaten down

and beaten down, coupled with his drug use,

is what killed him.

Lenny really took the blows.

He was the martyr.

He cleared the way for the new openness,

which was happening in all sorts
of media in the '60s,

but it took guys like Lenny Bruce

to really push the boundaries

and go to jail for it.

There is not one piece
of comedy being done today

that didn't come out
of something Lenny Bruce said.

Really.
He was like the big bang.

Did he take the hit for all of us?

Yeah, I imagine he did.

I mean, yeah -- Yeah,

thank God for Lenny Bruce.

Let's see.
Let's see, what's nice to follow

a good, heavy, morose thing like that?

A commercial, yeah.

One time Lenny Bruce was performing,

and George Carlin was in the audience,

and the police busted Lenny Bruce.

As Carlin has told it, you know,

the cops wanted to check everybody's ID,

because if they could get
somebody who's underage,

they could really wreak havoc.

And you know, you have young George Carlin

trying to be arrested with Lenny Bruce

to be able to ride in the paddy wagon with him.

"If they're gonna bust Lenny,
they're gonna bust me."

It gives me goose bumps
just thinking about that.

And Lenny Bruce said, you know,

"How did you get in here?"

And he said, "Well, I refused
to cooperate with the police."

And Lenny Bruce said,
"What are you, a schmuck?"

Carlin came up

as a kind of traditional,
short hair, stand-up comic.

He was quite successful

on getting Ed Sullivan gigs and so forth.

Here is comedian/comedy star George Carlin.

Que pasa?

Al Sleet here, your hippie-dippy weatherman.

Tonight's forecast -- dark.

Carlin, at first, wanted just to have success,

and he got that success,

and then felt that he was getting that success

in a way that didn't speak to his heart.

I used to be this guy.

Or maybe this guy used to be me.

I don't know, we were each other at one time.

It wasn't long ago --
I liked him.

He was really good, he was funny,

and I had a lot of fun with him.

He did some nice things for me, but it was like --

there was nothing behind him, you know.

He was kind of just
superficial, just the surface.

It was all characters.
I wasn't in there.

I found out I wasn't in my own act.

The guy who really picks up from Lenny is George,

who basically kind of goes
right after the taboos again.

He's constantly picking

and picking and picking.

And the Irish priests were always heavily

into penance and punishment, you know.

They give you a couple of novenas to do.

Nine first Fridays, five first Saturdays,

Stations of the Cross, a trip to Lourdes.

Wow!

That was one of the things that bothered me

a little about my religion,

was that conflict between pain and pleasure,

you know, 'cause they were
always pushing for pain,

and you were always pulling for pleasure, man.

You know?

George Carlin was a wordsmith,

and each of his routines were poetry.

Memorized poetry.

Carlin would spend a year
practicing these routines

where every word was there for a reason.

Nothing was there by accident.

My trouble was, I wanted a list.

Here are these words I'm not supposed to say.

Let's have a look at them.

I'll be glad to avoid them

if I can just see them and know what they are.

You gotta say them to find out
what they are, man.

Shit.
Pssh! Aah!

Oh, fuck.
Pssh!

Aah!

George Carlin, more than anyone else,

even more than Lenny Bruce before him,

he had fun with vulgarity,

and that drove people crazy.

I kept finding more ways
to describe dirty words

than there were dirty words.

They call 'em dirty, bad, filthy, foul, vile,

vulgar, off-color.

Blue.

In poor taste.

Suggestive.

Cursing, cussing,
swearing, profanity, obscenity.

All I could think of was shit, piss,

fuck, cunt, cocksucker,
motherfucker, and tits, man.

As you watch the bit,

he initially gets the shock laugh,

and then he begins inserting these vulgarities

into very normal, comfortable, musical,

almost lyrical language

to show you how ridiculous it is.

Shit, piss, fuck, cunt,
cocksucker, motherfucker, tits.

Cocksucker, motherfucker, tits.
Cocksucker, motherfucker, tits.

Cocksucker, motherfucker, tits.

All the seven words

are beautiful ingredients to a great melody.

A great way to start an orchestra.

I got Carlin records, and I remember,

my dad was listening to it with me,

and my dad was an English major,

so anything with wordplay and language,

he was always into it.

Despite the language,
he would still let me hear it.

The United States Supreme Court has ruled

that the government can act against broadcasters

who present offensive material.

The 5-4 decision upheld
the government reprimand

of a radio station

that broadcast a record
by comedian George Carlin.

WBAI played a cut from an album.

The cut is called "Filthy Words,"

and it's a follow-up to
an earlier album piece I did

called "The 7 Words You Can
Never Say on Television."

WBAI played it in the context
of a program they were doing

in the mid-afternoon
about contemporary language

and attitudes toward language.

The FCC took issue with WBAI

based on a complaint by a listener

who was in his automobile
at the time with his son,

and he claimed that it was indecent.

He claimed that it was
an invasion of his privacy,

and that his son
shouldn't be subjected to that.

"The 7 Words You Can't Say on Television"

don't exist before George Carlin.

Those are not seven words
you can't say on television.

He put those words together
because of the rhythm,

because of the way they sounded,
and for the routine.

And then instantly,
it goes into the court record,

and the FCC, and everybody pretends

that these are the actual words.

He created the very battle
that was fought against him.

The Federal Communications Commission said

that New York's WBAI
was wrong in playing the record,

though the FCC imposed no punishment immediately,

and the Supreme Court agreed.

I was raised at a time where using bad language

was associated with people of low intelligence.

And he helped break that stereotype for me.

Carlin even has a bit,

"There's No Such Thing As Bad Words."

There's bad intentions, but
there's not bad words, you know?

So, I --
That was freedom.

As soon as something's desensitized,

then it becomes the normal.

Then when it becomes the normal,

then it doesn't become offensive.

Then when something isn't offensive,

then we're not afraid of it anymore.

Everything George Carlin said

was basically him looking at the world going,

"Grow up, grow up, grow up."

Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker,

motherfucker, and tits.

Now, that was the original list.

We've added a few words since then.

We've added fart, turd, and twat.

And I know there are some other words

that many of you are wondering about,

why they haven't been considered,

why they haven't shown up
on the list thus far.

We're looking at them all very closely.

Some of your favorites
might make the list this year.

Asshole, ball bag, hard-on,

piss hard, blue balls,

taint, nookie, snatch, box,

pussy, pecker, peckerhead, pecker-tracks,

jism, joint,

donicker, dork, poontang.

Cornhole and dingleberry.

Until Redd Foxx came along in 1956,

nobody had ever recorded their stand-up act

and released it as an album.

Redd Foxx is distinguished

because he invented

essentially the genre of
stand-up comedy record.

Everybody in my hometown bought a jackass.

Preacher's wife had the biggest ass in town.

I know because I rode
her big ass all the time.

Sometime I'd ride her ass along.
Her ass was sweating.

I'd slip right off her big, sweaty ass.

Redd Foxx was making
very explicitly sexual records,

blue records, or off-color records

that were sold in African-American communities.

Everybody that I knew when I was growing up

had Redd Foxx records.

He was listened to by African-Americans

on a massive level,

but he was unknown
in mainstream society virtually.

What are party records?

You play 'em in a party.
You ever been to a party?

You put the records on when it's kind of dull,

and then wait.
Yeah? Are they --

Party starts.

Naughty?

Yes.

There's a new bikini bathing suit

coming out this summer.

New bikini girls.

It's two Band-Aids and a cork.

All right, two corks.

My parents had the Redd Foxx
dirty jokes record in the house.

And they would put it on after I'd go to bed.

I'm like -- like it was porn
or something, you know.

Hygiene.

The toughest thing in the world,

have to turn to your mate
one night and say,

"You got to wash your ass."

Knowing how difficult it is,

I said it for you in this album.

"You got to wash your ass."

When you went to the record store,

you often had to ask for these albums

because they wouldn't be out
that you could just go

and pick them up out of the bin.

They were often hidden or in
a certain part of the store

where you needed some sort of assistance

from the people in the store

because they were thought
to be too scandalous.

I've heard several of them, and it's a miracle

that you're able to select lines

from them to do on television.

The party records that
Redd Foxx did were underground,

but underground to mainstream society.

So the mainstream didn't
know anything about it

and didn't want any part of it at that point.

There ain't no way to
get an ambulance in the ghetto,

right, unless you call up,

"There's five niggers killing a white woman."

Some dudes would talk to you

while they kicked your ass, right?

"Why you want to fuck with me, man?"

Shit!

Somebody get this nigger offa me.

What?
I didn't know the nigger was blind.

I don't know how you feel
about the title of your album,

but I find it difficult to say.

You do? Most white people,
it's hard to say "crazy."

You tell them the title of the album.

I can't say that.

The title of the album is, "That Nigger's Crazy."

See, now, you can just say that.

If I said that, wouldn't you get mad?

I'd punch you out.

Richard Pryor was influenced by Redd Foxx,

but what he did was to bring

some of that sensibility to the mainstream.

The idea that a guy who had been developing

this new, provocative, racial material

suddenly break through to a mainstream audience

was a big moment.

A lot of people here might be offended,

so you should leave now 'cause
I'm gonna say fuck and suck.

And shit and doo-doo.

Pryor used profanity in a way

that even exceeded Lenny Bruce

and all the comics who went before him.

He made the use of those terms

seem to be a part of everyday life

and made the people listening to his comedy

accept the characters saying them,

and that being who they realistically were.

This is the way these people really talk.

He changed this low comedy into high art

in a way that no one had done before.

'Cause I remember the motherfucker.

He could make a motherfucker laugh

at a funeral on Sunday, Christmas Day.

It was about making sure that he told the truth,

and he said it on several occasions,

that that's what he was trying to do.

My dad would always say,
"If only you knew Lenny Bruce,"

and I didn't understand that until much later.

And I think it was because for my dad,

that was kind of the beginning of speaking --

speaking truth to power, they say,

politically and consciously.

I would also like to thank the cameramen

who have done such a wonderful job

in getting rid of the black cameraman.

Lenny kind of lit that fire,

and my dad and Carlin took it this way,

and it never stopped.

Richard is the rawest
motherfucker in show business.

Richard is the one
that made me want to do comedy.

I wanted to be Richard so bad,

I used to go out onstage when I was 15

and talk and act and walk and do
everything like Richard Pryor.

My mother would sit there and
watch her little 15-year-old son

onstage saying some outlandish shit.

My whole act back then was about taking a shit

'cause that's all I had done at 15.

I think every African-American comedian,

to some degree, was inspired by Richard Pryor.

Eddie Murphy did get
into using four-letter words

more out of a sense of,

"I'm trying to shock you."

I got a lot of people from other countries

that have seen my films that come over

to the United States 'cause in New York,

it's like a tourist place, and they get HBO,

and they catch "Delirious,"
and they can't speak English

and try to do my act on the street,

and all they got is the curses.

I got foreigners from all over
the world walking up going,

"Eddie Murphy!
Fuck you!"

I love it!

Suck my dick, huh?!

Suck it,
you black motherfucker."

I saw Eddie Murphy's "Raw" and "Delirious"

when I was really little, like,
when I was in second grade.

I even knew then --
he nasty, he naughty,

he's not supposed to be saying any of that.

Those are bad, bad words, and it's hilarious.

Do you watch "The Bill Cosby Show"?

I do, too.
I love "Bill Cosby Show."

I been a big fan of Bill Cosby all my life.

Never met the man before, but he called me up

about a year ago and chastised me on the phone

for being too dirty.

I was pissed off.

I was so mad, I called Richard Pryor's house up

and said, "Yo, Richard,
Bill Cosby just called me up

and told me I was too dirty."

He said, "Dude, do people laugh
when you say what you say?"

I said, "Yes."
He said, "Do you get paid?"

I said, "Yes."
He said, "Well, tell Bill

I said have a Coke and a smile
and shut the fuck up."

My imitation of Dolly Parton.

Dolly Parton's mother.

Dolly Parton's brother.

You're making fun

of the brother of a celebrity's testicles!

I had one with a birth control pill,

and I had one with a diaphragm,

and then I had another one with the IUD.

I don't even know what happened to my IUD.

It never came out.

But I have my suspicions
because that kid picks up HBO.

Ahh!

Watch Showtime.
Get the fuck out of my face!

As guys like Pryor and Carlin
came along and shocked you

and were scatological and talked about sex,

as each new stand-up comedian came along,

there was less and less
barriers to break through,

so they would reach further and further

to try to do something
that would shock the audience.

Nesteroff: Sam Kinison embodies
the '80s era of comedy.

It was more to like a trend.

People were doing characters

that were extensions of themselves,

so Sam Kinison was Sam Kinison,

but onstage, he was Sam Kinison the character

as opposed to Sam Kinison the man.

You never been married?

What's your name?

Michael?

Well, Michael, if you ever think
about getting married,

if you ever think you've met the right woman,

you want to settle down, change your life,

will you do me a favor, Mike?
Remember this face.

It was really the expression
of the heartbroken man.

We hold a lot of stuff in
because we're civilized people,

and we're trying to do the right thing,

but there's a lot that goes on emotionally

that we can't express.

And to have that little monster

put it out there like that...

Great.

It's like a relief valve.

Sam did not care if the audience hated him

and would even bait them, you know.

He would almost challenge them
to leave if they didn't like it.

And when you don't care,

that's frequently when you get the best results.

Very seldom someone comes along

who's unusually different and gifted

and creative and presents something that's unusual.

Right.

And the money from last week?

Yep.

Sam Kinison really took comedy
to an extreme in the shouting,

in some of the language,

and in some of the taboo subjects

that he went after.

I read in the paper, they said

that a group of homosexual necrophiliacs

had been going around the mortuaries,

offering them money
to let them come in at night

and spend a couple of hours undisturbed

with the freshest male corpse.

That's all right for these corpses

because I know these guys
were laying out on slabs.

They're in there going,
"Well, their life was tough,

and that was pretty hard to live up to.

I faced death, and I'm glad
I went through it.

Well, I'm just --

now I'm ready to spend eternity in Heaven

and be with Jesus.

Hey!

Hey, what's this shit?!

Oh, I don't believe this!

There's a guy's dick in my ass!"

Just that guy sitting there
going, "Oh, what's this?"

That moment --
boy, that was funny.

"No laughing matter," that's what critics

are saying about some routines

that are passed off as comedy these days,

a lot of it on television.

Is it the cutting edge of social satire

or the adult expression

of what some children write on sidewalks?

Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet

eating her curds and whey.

Along came a spider, he sat down beside her.

He said, "Hey, what's in the bowl, bitch?"

Oh!

Dice was dirty.
Dice's language was filthy.

The only thing that made Dice
different was that his blue,

his dirty, was controversial.

I really, though, don't understand

why women go to hear Dice Clay.

To me, it's like,

a Jew going to Hitler rally.

I treat my girlfriend good.
Like, for Christmas,

I bought her this beautiful dust pan

with her name engraved, man.

Her whole family was over.
I took it out.

You had to see the look on her fucking face.

Yeah, the guy is a chauvinistic moron,

you know, I wouldn't hang out with that guy,

not if he meant those things.

Even as a guy, I wouldn't hang out with him,

because then I'd be saying
he's deranged, you know.

But as a comedian, it's very funny,

and it doesn't hurt anybody.

To be outrageous and bad boy

and breaking the rules is extremely lucrative.

It is extremely pandering.

There's a lot of comedy
that's done under the guise

of being the edge, which isn't

because it's actually connecting
with the basest audience.

I found through great effort,

at least one remark of his

that I could say on the air.
Yeah?

He describes his sexual technique as, and I quote,

"So I say to the bitch,
lose the bra, or I'll cut you."

Is that funny?
What you're asking me to do

is defend Andrew Dice Clay's act.

No, I'm asking you, is that funny?

I don't know what the context was.

Obviously, the way you just said
it, no, it's not funny,

but the fact of it is, for me,

what he does is a character,

and when he's up there, and he's onstage,

it's a comedian.

How are ya?!

Who's Dice?
Who's Andrew Clay?

Who's the Jewish kid?

Who's the guy that's acting Italian?

Well, you want to know who he is?

I'll tell ya.

Andrew Clay is a guy that came out here

about ten years ago...

and broke his ass, you know what I mean?

Broke his ass, he believed in hisself,

became the hottest comic in the world,

and anybody that doesn't like it
could wipe their ass

with whatever they say about me.

That wasn't Dice that broke down,

that was Andrew.

The backlash was so strong

that it got past the Dice character

and got to the Andrew guy
and made him feel bad

for what was being said.

Did it celebrate a certain type of thinking

that probably doesn't need
any more celebrating?

Yeah, maybe, but did it make it
look stupid, as well?

Did it make it look moronic?
Yes.

Thanks a lot, man.

You're great.
Thank you.

I'll see you soon.
Good night.

I've always been obsessed with women,

and I've often wondered,

if I'd -- if I'd grown up in Poland,

when Hitler came to power,

and was sent to a concentration camp,

would I still be checking out
women in the camp?

I think I would, you know?

Off-limits is not a permanent address.

It's just a marker that keeps getting moved.

You couldn't say "pregnant" on TV

when Lucille Ball was pregnant on "I Love Lucy."

It keeps changing.

So, anyone who says,
"Well, it's off limits,"

well, enjoy the next ten minutes

'cause that's about as long
as that's gonna last.

The thing today, the thing
right now you can't make fun of?

You think it's too sensitive at this moment?

Transgendered people.

See?

You can't do it.

Can't make fun of 'em.

It's too sensitive.

In fact, you can't even call them

"chicks with dicks" anymore.

No.
No.

You have to call them men who talk too much.

There's been so many dirty jokes,

so you can't do some cliché dick joke

that everybody's heard before,
or some cliché big pussy joke.

You better do something fresh and new

that nobody's ever talked about before.

Most women won't let their husbands watch

when they're going through a miscarriage.

I sat my husband down in front of me

while I sat on the toilet,

and I was, like, "You look.

You watch the whole thing."

And he felt so bad for me,

and I used it as leverage

and held that shit over his head for a month

and got him to do whatever the fuck

I wanted him to do for 30 days.

He took me to see Beyoncé.

He bought me a bike off of Craigslist.

That's my miscarriage bike,
and I love it very much.

For 30 days, I finally had
the marriage I always wanted.

If you're filthy, the lower you go,

the funnier you better be,
and I'll go with you.

I mean, there's filth that
I absolutely adore,

but if it's just all you have,

then you shouldn't be here.

Girls grow up so fast.

It's -- It's like they don't
have childhoods anymore.

They're sexualized so early.

You know, I --

A girlfriend of mine has a little baby girl,

and I babysat her.

I changed her diaper.
Totally shaved.

6 months old.

It's always just about
busting things that are taboo.

Unless you're brave enough to lose people,

they why are you doing this?

Some people start off
with some friendly material,

and they build up to the intense stuff later on.

I like to just walk out there

and do my most offensive joke first

in the hope that the people who will go --

who were gonna walk away in 40 minutes,

will walk out now,

and we can actually enjoy ourselves.

Bill Cosby.

It turns out that Bill Cosby is a rapist.

I know, I always used to
watch him on the telly as a kid,

and I always used to think to myself,

"Ah, I bet he doesn't rape."

I've been wrong before,
and I'll be wrong again.

You see, a comedian, by the very
nature of what he is,

is a troublemaker.

He is an iconoclast.

He is a playful troublemaker,
a good-natured troublemaker,

but a troublemaker, and therefore,

he must recognize the existence
of certain taboos.

Free speech involves

getting free speech coming back at you.

A rape joke is a good example.

You make a rape joke, and it's shit, right?

And you go, "You're the fucking douchebag.

You shouldn't have never made that joke."

"You're harshing my First Amendment Rights."

No, I'm not.
It's my First Amendment rights

to call you a dick when you're a fucking dick.

You're a dick.
That joke sucked.

Free speech, motherfucker.

There's more freedom now than ever before,

and the reason there's more freedom now

is because of people like Redd Foxx,

like Richard Pryor, like George Carlin,

who kind of martyred themselves
in the '60s who got in trouble

for saying very innocuous things,

and we owe them a lot of credit.

You guys mad about that one?

It's gonna get so much fucking worse.

Look, anybody who talks graphically,

we owe Lenny Bruce.

That was done for us by him.

We all know how to work clean.

I mean, I say "fuck" too much.
There's no doubt.

But I can.

Do you remember --
before we leave,

do you remember the actual seven words?

Umm -- God.

Oh, geez, I had 'em memorized,

and I wasn't prepared to do it right now.

It's weird.
I never committed them to memory.

I don't want to say them now
because people may be watching.

Tits, shit, cock...

Shit, piss, motherfucker,

cocksucker, tits.

Did I miss one?

You know, the problem is,

I don't even think the words are dirty,

so it's hard to remember
what the fuck they are.

Shit, tit, cock...

I'm missing one.

What's -- Shit --

Oh, "cocksucker."

Of course.

Are you serious, Lewis?

Shit, tit, cock...

Dick, penis, cock, vagina, pussy.

Oh, yeah.
Cunt.

Motherfucker.

I was right, I said motherfucker.

Shit, piss,

cock, cunt, motherfucker, cocksucker --

I left "piss" out, I think.

Shit, tits, fuck, cunt,

cocksucker, motherfucker, and piss.

Oh, my God!