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1
00:00:01,955 --> 00:00:03,666
So, Penny, we were talking
to our neighbors,
2
00:00:03,690 --> 00:00:05,857
and they're thinking of moving
and selling their house.
3
00:00:05,925 --> 00:00:06,691
Really? Why?
4
00:00:06,759 --> 00:00:07,892
Something about
babies crying
5
00:00:07,961 --> 00:00:09,371
and keeping them up all night;
it's not important.
6
00:00:09,395 --> 00:00:11,035
You guys should totally
take a look at it.
7
00:00:11,865 --> 00:00:13,297
Then we could be neighbors.
8
00:00:13,366 --> 00:00:14,686
Hey. Wait a minute,
what about us?
9
00:00:14,734 --> 00:00:15,933
I mean, we're married now.
10
00:00:16,002 --> 00:00:17,546
Maybe we want to buy
the house next door.
11
00:00:17,570 --> 00:00:19,237
Well, Amy, we can't move.
12
00:00:19,305 --> 00:00:21,873
I'd have to change all
the tags in my underwear.
13
00:00:22,809 --> 00:00:24,008
You can buy new ones.
14
00:00:24,077 --> 00:00:25,554
What-- new house, new
underwear. What am I,
15
00:00:25,578 --> 00:00:27,745
in the Witness
Protection Program?
16
00:00:27,814 --> 00:00:30,214
Okay. Guys,
so what do you think?
17
00:00:30,283 --> 00:00:32,717
Well, I don't know,
w-we're pretty happy here.
18
00:00:32,785 --> 00:00:34,597
Yeah. Plus, if we moved,
we'd probably just get
19
00:00:34,621 --> 00:00:35,920
a loft downtown.
20
00:00:35,989 --> 00:00:39,323
Really? I always figured
we'd get a place with a yard.
21
00:00:39,392 --> 00:00:40,691
Oh, sure, yeah,
that makes sense,
22
00:00:40,760 --> 00:00:42,400
so you could shoot hoops
and mow the lawn?
23
00:00:44,364 --> 00:00:46,464
How are you two married?
24
00:00:46,533 --> 00:00:47,743
You were there.
I wore her down.
25
00:00:47,767 --> 00:00:48,933
He did.
26
00:00:49,002 --> 00:00:51,202
You guys should've talked
about all this stuff
27
00:00:51,271 --> 00:00:52,803
while you were dating.
28
00:00:52,872 --> 00:00:56,173
I mean, me and Anu already know
so much about each other.
29
00:00:56,242 --> 00:00:58,242
Wait, I forget,
is Anu your waxer?
30
00:00:58,311 --> 00:00:59,911
Uh, no, that's Annette.
31
00:00:59,979 --> 00:01:02,947
Anu is the woman
my father fixed me up with.
32
00:01:03,016 --> 00:01:04,615
We're going
on our first date tomorrow.
33
00:01:04,684 --> 00:01:07,318
Which reminds me,
I need to see Annette.
34
00:01:07,387 --> 00:01:10,221
You're really letting your
father pick out a wife?
35
00:01:10,290 --> 00:01:11,722
Why not?
36
00:01:11,791 --> 00:01:14,325
Arranged marriages have been
working for thousands of years.
37
00:01:14,394 --> 00:01:16,327
Anu and I come
from similar backgrounds,
38
00:01:16,396 --> 00:01:18,129
our families get along
and we each
39
00:01:18,197 --> 00:01:19,942
filled out questionnaires, so we
know we're not wasting our time
40
00:01:19,966 --> 00:01:21,966
with someone
who's not compatible.
41
00:01:22,035 --> 00:01:23,868
Oh, that sounds so dry
and clinical.
42
00:01:23,937 --> 00:01:25,603
You lucky duck.
43
00:01:27,273 --> 00:01:28,817
I just don't think you
can truly know someone
44
00:01:28,841 --> 00:01:30,641
until you've spent a
lot of time with them.
45
00:01:30,710 --> 00:01:32,810
Really? What's Penny's
dream vacation?
46
00:01:32,879 --> 00:01:37,281
Uh, Malibu beach house.
47
00:01:37,350 --> 00:01:40,651
That's Barbie's
dream vacation.
48
00:01:40,720 --> 00:01:42,320
Maybe you should send us
that questionnaire.
49
00:01:42,321 --> 00:01:44,321
♪ The Big Bang Theory 12x03 ♪
The Procreation Calculation
Original Air Date on October 4, 2018
50
00:01:44,322 --> 00:01:47,358
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
51
00:01:47,427 --> 00:01:50,661
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
52
00:01:50,730 --> 00:01:52,296
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
53
00:01:52,365 --> 00:01:55,032
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
54
00:01:55,101 --> 00:01:57,535
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
55
00:01:57,604 --> 00:02:00,237
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
56
00:02:00,306 --> 00:02:02,139
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
57
00:02:02,208 --> 00:02:03,774
♪ Bang! ♪
58
00:02:03,798 --> 00:02:10,798
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
59
00:02:11,124 --> 00:02:12,890
Enjoying your book?
60
00:02:12,959 --> 00:02:15,707
So much.
61
00:02:15,708 --> 00:02:18,709
Why do you keep poking at it?
62
00:02:18,778 --> 00:02:22,647
Fine, I'm shopping on my phone.
63
00:02:22,715 --> 00:02:25,182
You're the one who said
you wanted to read more.
64
00:02:25,251 --> 00:02:27,451
Yes, I also tell people
I only feed the kids organic.
65
00:02:27,520 --> 00:02:29,453
It's just stuff you say.
66
00:02:31,224 --> 00:02:32,857
- Hey.
- Ah, hello.
67
00:02:32,925 --> 00:02:34,025
Hey.
68
00:02:34,093 --> 00:02:35,159
How was your night?
69
00:02:35,228 --> 00:02:37,395
Ah, it was great.
We went to an improv show.
70
00:02:37,463 --> 00:02:39,430
Yeah. They asked the
audience to suggest a word,
71
00:02:39,499 --> 00:02:40,765
and they used Stuart's.
72
00:02:40,833 --> 00:02:41,899
Oh, cool, what was it?
73
00:02:41,968 --> 00:02:43,768
Coconuts.
74
00:02:43,836 --> 00:02:45,836
It was such a good one.
75
00:02:45,905 --> 00:02:48,005
It just came to me.
76
00:02:48,074 --> 00:02:50,408
Uh, what are you guys up to?
Reading.
77
00:02:50,476 --> 00:02:52,376
Oh, nice, I wish
I read more.
78
00:02:52,445 --> 00:02:54,879
Well, if it's important,
you find the time.
79
00:02:57,016 --> 00:02:58,049
You want to see my room?
80
00:02:58,117 --> 00:02:59,117
- Yeah.
- Cool.
81
00:03:01,554 --> 00:03:04,021
How do you feel about this?
82
00:03:04,090 --> 00:03:07,224
That she can clearly do better,
but that's not for me to say.
83
00:03:07,293 --> 00:03:10,561
No, with them in his room,
doing stuff.
84
00:03:10,630 --> 00:03:11,807
Oh, come on, we're sitting
right out here.
85
00:03:11,831 --> 00:03:13,297
They're not gonna do anything.
86
00:03:13,366 --> 00:03:16,967
♪ Smooth operator ♪
87
00:03:17,036 --> 00:03:19,303
♪ Smooth operator... ♪
88
00:03:19,372 --> 00:03:21,605
I'd like to change my answer.
89
00:03:21,674 --> 00:03:23,007
♪ Smooth operator. ♪
90
00:03:27,013 --> 00:03:30,281
Wow, you really are
good at this.
91
00:03:30,349 --> 00:03:33,284
Well, I've spent a lot of time
painting D&D miniatures.
92
00:03:35,021 --> 00:03:36,732
I know that makes you want
to rip my shirt off,
93
00:03:36,756 --> 00:03:37,933
but wait until
your nails are dry.
94
00:03:39,792 --> 00:03:41,625
Oh, it's Raj.
95
00:03:41,694 --> 00:03:44,195
He sent us that Indian marriage
questionnaire.
96
00:03:44,263 --> 00:03:47,064
- Ooh, read one.
- Okay.
97
00:03:47,133 --> 00:03:48,232
"How religious are you?"
98
00:03:48,301 --> 00:03:50,134
That's easy, both of us:
not at all.
99
00:03:50,203 --> 00:03:52,414
No, I wouldn't say not at all.
I mean, I am pretty spiritual.
100
00:03:52,438 --> 00:03:54,905
I do go to yoga, so...
101
00:03:54,974 --> 00:03:58,876
Great, so your church is
Our Lady of the Stretchy Pants.
102
00:04:00,313 --> 00:04:01,812
Next question.
103
00:04:01,881 --> 00:04:03,748
Uh, "how close are you
with your family?"
104
00:04:03,816 --> 00:04:05,015
Pretty close.
105
00:04:05,084 --> 00:04:06,217
I'm gonna say not too close,
106
00:04:06,285 --> 00:04:08,652
but I'm hoping to get farther.
107
00:04:08,721 --> 00:04:11,088
How do you feel
about children?
108
00:04:11,157 --> 00:04:12,656
Um, they're okay, I guess.
109
00:04:12,725 --> 00:04:16,460
I mean, if I saw one,
I wouldn't throw a rock at it.
110
00:04:16,529 --> 00:04:20,765
W-Why would you throw
a rock at a child?
111
00:04:20,833 --> 00:04:23,701
I just said I wouldn't.
112
00:04:23,770 --> 00:04:26,637
The question is would you
like to have kids.
113
00:04:26,706 --> 00:04:28,172
So, yeah, we want kids.
114
00:04:28,241 --> 00:04:29,507
Yeah-- someday.
115
00:04:29,575 --> 00:04:31,008
Right, like,
in the next five years.
116
00:04:31,077 --> 00:04:33,544
Sure, uh, next question.
117
00:04:33,613 --> 00:04:35,045
"How are you with pets?"
118
00:04:35,114 --> 00:04:37,548
Well, I did take care
of Sheldon for 15 years,
119
00:04:37,617 --> 00:04:40,284
and he only bit me twice.
120
00:04:43,189 --> 00:04:46,157
I have to say, uh, after reading
your questionnaire,
121
00:04:46,225 --> 00:04:48,726
I feel like I already know you.
122
00:04:48,795 --> 00:04:51,195
Totally. Me, too. Excuse me.
123
00:04:51,264 --> 00:04:52,963
Can we please get
sparkling instead of tap,
124
00:04:53,032 --> 00:04:54,598
some clean silverware
and find out
125
00:04:54,667 --> 00:04:56,534
what they're having?
That looks delicious.
126
00:04:56,602 --> 00:04:57,668
Yes, ma'am.
127
00:04:57,737 --> 00:04:58,969
Thank you.
128
00:04:59,038 --> 00:05:00,805
So, you're an astrophysicist.
129
00:05:00,873 --> 00:05:02,306
Yes, ma'am.
130
00:05:03,576 --> 00:05:05,009
I-I mean, uh, just yes.
131
00:05:05,077 --> 00:05:06,355
U-Unless you prefer "ma'am."
132
00:05:06,356 --> 00:05:07,120
I don't.
133
00:05:07,144 --> 00:05:08,947
Good, because you don't
seem like a ma'am.
134
00:05:08,948 --> 00:05:12,683
You seem more
like a sweet thang.
135
00:05:12,752 --> 00:05:16,053
Wow. You are not good at this.
136
00:05:16,122 --> 00:05:17,533
Well, if I was good at this,
137
00:05:17,557 --> 00:05:19,590
I wouldn't need
to be fixed up by my father.
138
00:05:19,659 --> 00:05:21,503
I never thought I'd let
my family set me up, either,
139
00:05:21,527 --> 00:05:23,661
but I'm 34,
I'd like to have kids
140
00:05:23,729 --> 00:05:25,529
and it's hard to date
because I work so much.
141
00:05:25,598 --> 00:05:27,531
Oh, yes, uh, you're a concierge.
142
00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:30,367
For now. I plan to be managing
a hotel in the next five years.
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00:05:30,436 --> 00:05:33,904
Four, if I can get the current
manager out of the way.
144
00:05:33,973 --> 00:05:36,740
He's a smoker,
so fingers crossed.
145
00:05:36,809 --> 00:05:40,144
I-I get it. You know, um,
I used to have a long list
146
00:05:40,213 --> 00:05:41,645
of what I wanted from a wife.
147
00:05:41,714 --> 00:05:43,180
Uh, eyes like
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00:05:43,249 --> 00:05:45,983
Sandra Bullock,
hair like Sandra Bullock,
149
00:05:46,052 --> 00:05:48,085
and the bravery of Ryan Stone.
150
00:05:48,154 --> 00:05:50,020
That's Sandra Bullock's
character in Gravity.
151
00:05:50,089 --> 00:05:51,822
But now,
152
00:05:51,891 --> 00:05:53,724
I-I just want someone nice.
153
00:05:53,793 --> 00:05:56,360
I think I'm nice. Are you nice?
154
00:05:56,429 --> 00:05:57,962
Oh, I'm definitely nice.
155
00:05:58,030 --> 00:06:00,175
Every time a girl breaks up
with me she always starts with,
156
00:06:00,199 --> 00:06:01,999
"You're a nice guy."
157
00:06:03,269 --> 00:06:05,903
Look, your whole sweet,
insecure thing is cute,
158
00:06:05,972 --> 00:06:08,205
but honestly,
I have no time for that.
159
00:06:08,274 --> 00:06:09,573
If you're not
serious about this,
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00:06:09,642 --> 00:06:11,108
you need to walk away now.
161
00:06:11,177 --> 00:06:13,110
I-I am serious.
162
00:06:13,179 --> 00:06:14,945
Good.
163
00:06:15,014 --> 00:06:16,447
Okay.
164
00:06:16,515 --> 00:06:18,849
O-Okay, w-what does this mean?
165
00:06:18,918 --> 00:06:21,752
I think it means I might be
the future Mrs....
166
00:06:21,821 --> 00:06:23,754
Koothrappali.
167
00:06:23,823 --> 00:06:26,991
How would you feel
if I didn't change my name?
168
00:06:27,059 --> 00:06:30,094
A little hurt, but you wouldn't
know, because I'm too nice.
169
00:06:32,765 --> 00:06:34,531
Hey, want to get lunch?
170
00:06:34,600 --> 00:06:36,033
I can't.
171
00:06:36,102 --> 00:06:38,280
Halley and Michael were up all
night, and I'm way behind here.
172
00:06:38,304 --> 00:06:40,137
- Oh, no, are they sick?
- No.
173
00:06:40,206 --> 00:06:42,740
They were just laughing and
playing like a couple of jerks.
174
00:06:44,377 --> 00:06:47,611
Boy, they're cute,
but they ruin everything.
175
00:06:47,680 --> 00:06:49,179
I get that.
176
00:06:49,248 --> 00:06:50,559
You know,
I've been thinking lately
177
00:06:50,583 --> 00:06:53,050
that maybe I don't want kids.
178
00:06:53,119 --> 00:06:54,485
Are you crazy?
179
00:06:54,553 --> 00:06:56,921
Of course you want them.
It's amazing.
180
00:06:56,989 --> 00:06:58,856
You just said
they ruin everything.
181
00:06:58,925 --> 00:07:01,659
I'm allowed to. It's their fault
I pee when I laugh.
182
00:07:03,095 --> 00:07:04,361
Hang on, why is it crazy
183
00:07:04,430 --> 00:07:05,829
to say I might not want kids?
184
00:07:05,898 --> 00:07:06,997
Oh, it's not crazy.
185
00:07:07,066 --> 00:07:08,933
It's just wrong.
186
00:07:09,001 --> 00:07:10,901
You only think
you don't want kids,
187
00:07:10,970 --> 00:07:14,171
but once you have kids, you'll
realize that you did want them.
188
00:07:14,240 --> 00:07:18,442
Or I don't want them, so I won't
have them, so back off.
189
00:07:18,511 --> 00:07:21,145
Aw, you sound just like me
before I became a mom
190
00:07:21,213 --> 00:07:23,714
and learned
what the meaning of love was.
191
00:07:23,783 --> 00:07:26,917
Wow, I cannot believe how
condescending you're being.
192
00:07:26,986 --> 00:07:30,688
Look, I know it's scary,
but you're gonna be a great mom.
193
00:07:30,756 --> 00:07:33,190
I know I'd be great, but the
point is I don't want to be one.
194
00:07:33,259 --> 00:07:35,659
Maybe you wouldn't be great.
You kind of got a temper.
195
00:07:35,728 --> 00:07:39,663
You know, not everyone needs
to have kids to be fulfilled.
196
00:07:39,732 --> 00:07:42,700
You're right,
you've got Leonard.
197
00:07:42,768 --> 00:07:44,702
What more do you need?
198
00:07:47,373 --> 00:07:48,472
- Hey, guys.
- Hello. - Hey.
199
00:07:48,541 --> 00:07:50,140
How was your date?
200
00:07:50,209 --> 00:07:52,343
Ah, let me answer that
with a question.
201
00:07:52,411 --> 00:07:54,345
How would you like to be
my best man?
202
00:07:55,548 --> 00:07:57,247
Wait, you're not seriously
203
00:07:57,316 --> 00:07:58,849
marrying a woman
you've met once.
204
00:07:58,918 --> 00:08:02,052
Why not? She's nice, I'm nice.
205
00:08:02,121 --> 00:08:04,888
We're just as likely to be happy
as any other two people.
206
00:08:04,957 --> 00:08:06,223
Maybe even happier.
207
00:08:06,292 --> 00:08:07,858
Sorry, that was not
a swipe at you.
208
00:08:10,229 --> 00:08:12,162
I didn't think it was.
209
00:08:12,231 --> 00:08:13,864
Yeah, good, 'cause it was not.
210
00:08:13,933 --> 00:08:15,532
Well, I, for one,
211
00:08:15,601 --> 00:08:18,235
applaud Raj's decision to
forgo emotional attachment
212
00:08:18,304 --> 00:08:20,571
and find a life
partner by bowing
213
00:08:20,639 --> 00:08:23,774
to a 3,000-year-old
authoritarian tradition.
214
00:08:23,843 --> 00:08:24,975
What are you talking about?
215
00:08:25,044 --> 00:08:26,588
You married a woman
you're in love with.
216
00:08:26,612 --> 00:08:29,213
I can't believe you're throwing
that back in my face.
217
00:08:30,583 --> 00:08:32,416
Why can't you just be
happy for me?
218
00:08:32,485 --> 00:08:33,851
Because you're being dumb.
219
00:08:33,919 --> 00:08:35,419
You don't know anything
about her.
220
00:08:35,488 --> 00:08:37,065
W-Well, how come you all
get to be married
221
00:08:37,089 --> 00:08:38,789
and I have to stay single?
222
00:08:38,858 --> 00:08:41,325
I think that's a question
for a licensed professional.
223
00:08:41,394 --> 00:08:43,827
You know what, you're not
just insulting me.
224
00:08:43,896 --> 00:08:46,363
Okay? You're insulting
my family, my culture
225
00:08:46,432 --> 00:08:48,098
and my future bride, Anu,
226
00:08:48,167 --> 00:08:50,334
a vegetarian with
a master's degree from Cornell
227
00:08:50,403 --> 00:08:51,723
whose favorite fruit
is pineapple.
228
00:08:55,241 --> 00:08:57,841
Now, I'm not sure if this helps,
but did you know
229
00:08:57,910 --> 00:08:59,710
that pineapples
were once so rare
230
00:08:59,779 --> 00:09:02,179
that King Charles posed
for a portrait with one?
231
00:09:02,248 --> 00:09:03,747
How does that help?
232
00:09:03,816 --> 00:09:05,293
Oh, it helped me.
I've been trying to slide that
233
00:09:05,317 --> 00:09:07,017
into a conversation for years.
234
00:09:11,690 --> 00:09:13,123
Hey, honey,
how was your day?
235
00:09:14,360 --> 00:09:15,225
What's wrong?
236
00:09:15,294 --> 00:09:17,828
Raj is talking about
237
00:09:17,897 --> 00:09:19,763
marrying this woman
he just met.
238
00:09:19,832 --> 00:09:23,834
I told him it was dumb,
and now he's mad at me.
239
00:09:23,903 --> 00:09:25,869
The same thing
happened to me.
240
00:09:25,938 --> 00:09:27,271
Penny said she
didn't want kids,
241
00:09:27,339 --> 00:09:28,617
and I told her
she was being silly,
242
00:09:28,641 --> 00:09:30,574
and she accused me
of being condescending.
243
00:09:30,643 --> 00:09:32,721
Which is crazy, because
if I wanted to be condescending,
244
00:09:32,745 --> 00:09:34,344
I would've said,
"Ooh, 'condescending.'
245
00:09:34,413 --> 00:09:37,181
That's such a big word."
246
00:09:39,018 --> 00:09:40,395
Why won't our friends
just listen to us?
247
00:09:40,419 --> 00:09:42,386
We obviously know what
we're talking about.
248
00:09:42,455 --> 00:09:43,620
I know.
249
00:09:43,689 --> 00:09:46,056
We're married,
we have great kids,
250
00:09:46,125 --> 00:09:47,658
great jobs,
this great house.
251
00:09:47,726 --> 00:09:49,393
♪ Smooth operator ♪
252
00:09:51,497 --> 00:09:54,298
♪ Smooth operator... ♪
253
00:09:55,401 --> 00:09:59,002
♪ Smooth operator ♪
254
00:09:59,071 --> 00:10:03,173
♪ Smooth operator... ♪
255
00:10:03,242 --> 00:10:07,478
♪ Coast to coast,
L.A. to Chicago ♪
256
00:10:07,546 --> 00:10:11,615
♪ Western male. ♪
257
00:10:14,120 --> 00:10:16,453
Hey, Leonard,
remember yesterday
258
00:10:16,522 --> 00:10:17,794
when we were talking about
having kids someday?
259
00:10:17,818 --> 00:10:18,923
Yeah?
260
00:10:18,924 --> 00:10:20,958
Well, what if it wasn't someday.
261
00:10:24,897 --> 00:10:27,364
Oh, my God.
262
00:10:28,968 --> 00:10:30,467
Oh, my God, are you pregnant?
263
00:10:30,536 --> 00:10:33,370
No. No. No, no. No, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no.
264
00:10:33,439 --> 00:10:35,272
So?
265
00:10:35,341 --> 00:10:37,040
- No.
- Oh.
266
00:10:37,109 --> 00:10:39,143
What I meant was,
267
00:10:39,211 --> 00:10:41,211
what if, what if we
didn't have kids?
268
00:10:41,280 --> 00:10:43,113
Ever?
269
00:10:43,182 --> 00:10:44,848
I mean, our life
is so great.
270
00:10:44,917 --> 00:10:46,283
Why would we want
to change that?
271
00:10:46,352 --> 00:10:51,021
Sure. Sure.
272
00:10:51,090 --> 00:10:52,322
Sure.
273
00:10:52,391 --> 00:10:54,591
And I guess it would
be hard raising kids
274
00:10:54,660 --> 00:10:58,061
in the-the loft you
never told me you wanted.
275
00:10:58,130 --> 00:10:59,763
Well, wait, don't be mad.
I'm not mad.
276
00:10:59,832 --> 00:11:01,398
Why would I be mad?
277
00:11:01,467 --> 00:11:04,168
There's nothing to be mad at!
278
00:11:04,236 --> 00:11:05,436
You have to-to turn the thing.
279
00:11:05,504 --> 00:11:08,238
I knew that!
280
00:11:08,307 --> 00:11:11,475
- Hi, Leonard.
- I'm not mad!
281
00:11:20,205 --> 00:11:22,272
You're awfully quiet.
282
00:11:22,340 --> 00:11:25,141
- Sorry.
- No, I like it.
283
00:11:25,210 --> 00:11:27,877
Got a lot on my mind.
284
00:11:27,946 --> 00:11:30,880
Would you like
to talk about it?
285
00:11:30,949 --> 00:11:32,382
Not really.
286
00:11:32,451 --> 00:11:35,185
Grape Nuts for breakfast,
quiet car ride,
287
00:11:35,253 --> 00:11:38,021
things are really
breaking my way today.
288
00:11:38,089 --> 00:11:41,391
It's just Penny hit me
with some pretty big news
289
00:11:41,460 --> 00:11:43,326
and it's a lot to process.
290
00:11:43,395 --> 00:11:46,463
And you'd like to do that
quietly. I respect that.
291
00:11:46,531 --> 00:11:49,532
She said she doesn't want
to have kids.
292
00:11:49,601 --> 00:11:51,534
Maybe she didn't mean it,
293
00:11:51,603 --> 00:11:54,804
like when you said you didn't
want to talk about this.
294
00:11:54,873 --> 00:11:56,473
Forget it.
295
00:12:01,046 --> 00:12:03,179
Do you want
to have children?
296
00:12:03,248 --> 00:12:05,982
Well, I always assumed we would
and now I find out, you know,
297
00:12:06,051 --> 00:12:09,586
I might be the last
of the Hofstadter line.
298
00:12:09,654 --> 00:12:11,321
Doesn't your brother
have children?
299
00:12:11,389 --> 00:12:13,189
And your sister.
She kept the Hofstadter name
300
00:12:13,258 --> 00:12:14,390
and has five healthy boys:
301
00:12:14,459 --> 00:12:18,194
Neil, Jeffrey, Scott,
William and baby Richard.
302
00:12:18,263 --> 00:12:20,830
I'm going back to being quiet.
303
00:12:20,899 --> 00:12:22,465
Sweet.
304
00:12:27,072 --> 00:12:29,439
Hey. Mind if I sit?
305
00:12:29,508 --> 00:12:33,743
Did you just come here to tell
me I'm making a gigantic mistake
306
00:12:33,812 --> 00:12:35,478
by having this blueberry muffin
307
00:12:35,547 --> 00:12:37,124
and I should've got
a cinnamon roll like you did?
308
00:12:37,148 --> 00:12:38,281
No.
309
00:12:38,350 --> 00:12:40,250
Good, 'cause I'm happy
with my choice.
310
00:12:40,318 --> 00:12:42,652
Although that cinnamon
roll does smell good
311
00:12:42,721 --> 00:12:44,621
if you're open to halfsies.
312
00:12:44,689 --> 00:12:47,924
- Fine.
- Thanks.
313
00:12:47,993 --> 00:12:50,827
Look, I'm sorry
about yesterday.
314
00:12:50,896 --> 00:12:52,061
You're right.
I-I was being...
315
00:12:52,130 --> 00:12:55,198
Oh, my God,
that is so good!
316
00:12:55,267 --> 00:12:56,533
I can wait.
317
00:12:56,601 --> 00:12:57,734
No...
Sorry.
318
00:12:57,802 --> 00:12:59,869
Go on.
319
00:12:59,938 --> 00:13:02,605
I've known you a long time.
320
00:13:02,674 --> 00:13:06,776
You believe in romance more than
any person I've ever met
321
00:13:06,845 --> 00:13:10,313
and it's hard to see you
give up on that.
322
00:13:10,382 --> 00:13:13,583
But if you really think
marrying this woman
323
00:13:13,652 --> 00:13:14,817
is gonna make you happy,
324
00:13:14,886 --> 00:13:17,120
then you have my complete
and total support.
325
00:13:17,188 --> 00:13:19,222
I will be with you
every step of the way.
326
00:13:19,291 --> 00:13:22,191
Thanks, Howard.
That means a lot.
327
00:13:22,260 --> 00:13:25,061
So, hey, is this wedding
gonna be in India?
328
00:13:25,130 --> 00:13:26,062
Ah, maybe.
329
00:13:26,131 --> 00:13:27,530
Ugh.
330
00:13:31,970 --> 00:13:35,104
What the hell, Penny?!
331
00:13:35,173 --> 00:13:37,674
I'm gonna need more than that.
332
00:13:37,742 --> 00:13:39,275
You're not having kids?
333
00:13:39,344 --> 00:13:41,311
How could you do this to me?
334
00:13:41,379 --> 00:13:43,279
How is it any of your business?
335
00:13:43,348 --> 00:13:46,215
Because your kids were supposed
to be friends with my kids.
336
00:13:46,284 --> 00:13:49,152
Who's gonna be friends
with them now?
337
00:13:49,220 --> 00:13:52,021
They will find other friends.
338
00:13:52,090 --> 00:13:54,924
Oh, sure, 'cause
Sheldon's DNA plus my DNA
339
00:13:54,993 --> 00:13:57,594
equals a kid who knows
how to make friends. Grow up!
340
00:13:57,662 --> 00:14:01,397
This is between me and Leonard.
341
00:14:01,466 --> 00:14:04,400
Screw Leonard! We were supposed
to get pregnant together.
342
00:14:04,469 --> 00:14:06,402
We were gonna
be barf buddies.
343
00:14:06,471 --> 00:14:08,182
We were supposed to massage
each other's perineums
344
00:14:08,206 --> 00:14:09,939
with vitamin E.
345
00:14:10,008 --> 00:14:13,443
I'm about to be
your barf buddy right now.
346
00:14:13,511 --> 00:14:14,777
Listen, when you have kids,
347
00:14:14,846 --> 00:14:16,245
I'm still gonna be there.
348
00:14:16,314 --> 00:14:18,025
I'm gonna be their fun Aunt
Penny who gives them candy,
349
00:14:18,049 --> 00:14:19,449
and teaches them swear words
350
00:14:19,517 --> 00:14:22,652
and tells them stories about
what a weirdo their mother is.
351
00:14:24,155 --> 00:14:26,289
I guess I could live with that.
352
00:14:28,426 --> 00:14:32,328
What is gonna be hard is
letting go of the dream
353
00:14:32,397 --> 00:14:35,798
of us breastfeeding
each other's babies.
354
00:14:40,572 --> 00:14:44,540
And it's gonna be hard
to forget you said that.
355
00:14:44,609 --> 00:14:46,876
No.
356
00:14:50,281 --> 00:14:53,516
What would you say
if I told you
357
00:14:53,585 --> 00:14:57,820
I was totally naked
under this robe?
358
00:14:57,889 --> 00:15:00,556
I would say that sounds
pretty good.
359
00:15:00,625 --> 00:15:03,559
Really? Well, I did not
see that coming.
360
00:15:03,628 --> 00:15:05,061
One second.
361
00:15:07,132 --> 00:15:09,432
♪ Smooth operator ♪
362
00:15:09,501 --> 00:15:11,501
Oh, come on.
363
00:15:11,569 --> 00:15:13,670
Wait. Stay in the mood.
364
00:15:13,738 --> 00:15:18,274
I'll put on our own music
and drown them out.
365
00:15:18,343 --> 00:15:20,076
♪ You want a hot body? ♪
366
00:15:20,145 --> 00:15:21,377
What's this?
367
00:15:21,446 --> 00:15:23,479
It's from my workout mix.
368
00:15:23,548 --> 00:15:25,915
It's what I listen to when
I'm firming up my glutes.
369
00:15:28,453 --> 00:15:30,153
Can you get him?
370
00:15:30,221 --> 00:15:31,320
Sure.
371
00:15:34,893 --> 00:15:36,893
- Hey, Howard.
- Yeah?
372
00:15:36,961 --> 00:15:40,697
It looks like you could crack
a walnut in those glutes.
373
00:15:40,765 --> 00:15:43,433
I can't. I tried.
374
00:15:48,440 --> 00:15:49,440
Hey.
375
00:15:49,507 --> 00:15:51,808
- Hey.
- I-I made you dinner.
376
00:15:51,876 --> 00:15:55,878
Your favorite: In-N-Out Burger
out of the wrapper on a plate.
377
00:15:55,947 --> 00:15:58,514
Thank you, but you don't
have to do this. I'm fine.
378
00:15:58,583 --> 00:16:02,985
I-I know it's not a baby, but it
does leak when you pick it up.
379
00:16:03,054 --> 00:16:06,456
Really? We're joking
about this now?
380
00:16:06,524 --> 00:16:07,690
No, look, I'm sorry.
381
00:16:07,759 --> 00:16:09,726
I didn't mean to just
drop all of this on you.
382
00:16:09,794 --> 00:16:12,095
I-It just took me
by surprise.
383
00:16:12,163 --> 00:16:13,796
I-I always imagined
having kids.
384
00:16:13,865 --> 00:16:14,931
I know you did.
385
00:16:14,999 --> 00:16:17,333
But I've imagined having
a lot of things
386
00:16:17,402 --> 00:16:18,668
that I'm never gonna get:
387
00:16:18,737 --> 00:16:23,906
a Nobel Prize,
a working Batmobile.
388
00:16:23,975 --> 00:16:28,344
But I also have a lot that
I never thought I'd have...
389
00:16:28,413 --> 00:16:29,746
like you.
390
00:16:29,814 --> 00:16:32,181
Are you sure
that's enough?
391
00:16:32,250 --> 00:16:33,516
Yeah.
392
00:16:33,585 --> 00:16:36,152
- You're really okay with this?
- I am.
393
00:16:38,490 --> 00:16:39,756
Hey, Daddy.
394
00:16:39,824 --> 00:16:40,923
What's this Leonard says
395
00:16:40,992 --> 00:16:43,459
about you not wanting
to give me grandbabies?
396
00:16:46,431 --> 00:16:49,132
He might feel
differently. Bye.
397
00:16:52,771 --> 00:16:54,570
I told my parents
our first date went well
398
00:16:54,639 --> 00:16:55,972
and they got very excited.
399
00:16:56,040 --> 00:16:57,340
Oh, tell me about it.
400
00:16:57,408 --> 00:16:58,574
My parents
were so thrilled,
401
00:16:58,643 --> 00:17:00,977
they actually spoke
to each other.
402
00:17:01,045 --> 00:17:04,147
So that was a disaster.
403
00:17:04,215 --> 00:17:07,016
Cheers.
404
00:17:07,085 --> 00:17:10,086
Okay. I guess if we're going
forward with this wedding,
405
00:17:10,155 --> 00:17:11,754
we should talk about
the next steps.
406
00:17:11,823 --> 00:17:13,890
Oh, like themes and flowers?
407
00:17:13,958 --> 00:17:16,392
Actually, finances
and taxes.
408
00:17:16,461 --> 00:17:18,461
Oh. We can't use that.
409
00:17:18,530 --> 00:17:20,930
That was the theme
of my parents' divorce.
410
00:17:20,999 --> 00:17:23,099
I know that money can
be a source of friction
411
00:17:23,168 --> 00:17:24,968
in a new marriage and I
want us to avoid that.
412
00:17:25,003 --> 00:17:26,469
Of course. Yeah, right.
413
00:17:26,538 --> 00:17:27,937
That's s-smart.
414
00:17:28,006 --> 00:17:29,372
So, my accountant
feels strongly
415
00:17:29,440 --> 00:17:31,607
that we should file
separately the first year
416
00:17:31,676 --> 00:17:33,796
and then we can re-evaluate
based on our joint assets.
417
00:17:35,380 --> 00:17:37,413
You okay?
418
00:17:37,482 --> 00:17:40,316
No, I can't do this.
419
00:17:40,385 --> 00:17:41,918
Why not?
420
00:17:41,986 --> 00:17:43,853
Th-There's something
you may not know about me
421
00:17:43,922 --> 00:17:46,856
'cause, you know,
we've only met once, but...
422
00:17:46,925 --> 00:17:48,825
I'm a hopeless romantic.
423
00:17:48,893 --> 00:17:51,360
And you seem great
424
00:17:51,429 --> 00:17:52,728
and I do want
to get married.
425
00:17:52,797 --> 00:17:55,865
I-I do want
to settle down, but...
426
00:17:55,934 --> 00:18:00,503
this isn't the story that
I want to tell my grandkids.
427
00:18:00,572 --> 00:18:03,072
I understand.
428
00:18:03,141 --> 00:18:06,042
I'm so sorry if
I wasted your time.
429
00:18:09,514 --> 00:18:12,782
Raj.
430
00:18:12,851 --> 00:18:15,451
I know we don't know
each other very well,
431
00:18:15,520 --> 00:18:17,887
but you seem like
you'd make a good father
432
00:18:17,956 --> 00:18:21,791
and you're tall enough
so I can wear heels and...
433
00:18:21,860 --> 00:18:25,661
I think that's something
worth fighting for.
434
00:18:33,171 --> 00:18:34,737
Will you marry me?
435
00:18:34,806 --> 00:18:36,539
Oh, my God,
oh, my God.
436
00:18:36,608 --> 00:18:38,208
Yes, of course, of course
I'll marry you!
437
00:18:42,213 --> 00:18:45,481
- If you'd like to kiss me you can.
- Oh, great.
438
00:18:45,550 --> 00:18:47,250
I should warn you I have
a tongue piercing.
439
00:18:47,318 --> 00:18:49,051
Oh, you're not that nice.
440
00:18:55,609 --> 00:18:57,255
Are you gonna tell me
where we're going?
441
00:18:57,256 --> 00:18:59,761
Because if it has the words
"farmers" or "market" in it,
442
00:18:59,762 --> 00:19:01,061
I don't want to go.
443
00:19:01,130 --> 00:19:03,030
You were talking
about all the things
444
00:19:03,099 --> 00:19:04,632
you thought you
would never have,
445
00:19:04,700 --> 00:19:08,135
so I thought I
would get you one.
446
00:19:11,841 --> 00:19:14,308
Oh, my God.
You bought me the Batmobile?!
447
00:19:14,377 --> 00:19:16,043
No. No.
448
00:19:16,112 --> 00:19:17,611
No, no, no, no, no.
449
00:19:17,680 --> 00:19:21,448
I rented you the
Batmobile for the day.
450
00:19:21,517 --> 00:19:24,018
This is amazing.
Thank you.
451
00:19:26,922 --> 00:19:29,423
B-Be careful.
I-I did not get the insurance.
452
00:19:45,441 --> 00:19:46,807
Come on, Robin!
453
00:19:51,881 --> 00:19:58,881
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
33418
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