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- Sync and corrections by ByDem -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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Whoa
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_
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♪ Another Springfield day ♪
_
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♪ A truly perfect place to see ♪
♪ your dreams just fade away ♪
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♪ Working at the plant's fried ♪
♪ everything inside my pants ♪
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♪ Good-bye to all romance ♪
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♪ All I've got to show ♪
♪ for 20 years or so is you ♪
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- Carl!
- Prescription pain pills!
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♪ I have a law degree ♪
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♪ For years I've smelled ♪
♪ just like cat pee ♪
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♪ This town just drags you down ♪
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♪ She's completely lost her head ♪
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♪ And we will eat her when she's dead ♪
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♪ It really shouldn't be too long ♪
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- ♪ Cats! Cats! Cats! ♪
- ♪ She'll be our dinner ♪
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♪ This truly is an awful town ♪
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♪ The water's green, the sky is brown ♪
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♪ Pope Francis came, he turned around ♪
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♪ Our strongest bridge ♪
♪ just holds ten pounds ♪
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♪ We're poisoned by a greedy clown ♪
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♪ Kang-a-roo meat! ♪
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♪ Traffic suffers from paralysis ♪
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Please. I'm late for my dialysis.
25
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♪ It's another Springfield day ♪
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♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
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♪ I'm too sad to say olé ♪
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♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
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♪ We've lost our coolest gays ♪
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♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
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Duffman thinks this town's okay!
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♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
_
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♪ It's another Springfield day! ♪
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Lenny's a survivor!
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♪ This will be a perfect day ♪
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♪ No way to go outside and play ♪
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♪ And so we're on our way ♪
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♪ To a very nerdy science conference ♪
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♪ Ba-ba ba-ba-dum ba-dum, ba-ba ♪
_
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♪ Bum-bum, ba-ba-dum, ba-da, ba-ba ♪
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Take it Bart!
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If you're givin' it, I don't want it.
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Bring it home, boy.
44
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♪ My sister sucks! ♪
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Nyah, nyah.
46
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♪ It's another perfect day! ♪
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I brought my stems.
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Sir, this is a conference
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of Science, Technology,
Engineering and Math.
50
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What about this one?
51
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Dialogue on Pediatric Education.
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I find this claim highly doyvik.
_
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It's all true according
to the highly-prestigious
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Institute for Purchased Science.
_
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Here's our top scientist now.
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Sir, I-I don't think
this is fooling anyone.
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Quiet! And put on the monocle,
Professor Noodle-Strudel.
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- So where's your booth?
- I don't have one.
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- I just came here for fun.
- Fun?!
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One child, please.
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I was here first.
_
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If disco's dead, I don't want to live.
_
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It's Stuicide!
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Self-unrolling yoga mats.
_
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_
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Artificial intelligence
that writes TV recaps.
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Stranger Things suffers
from season two fatigue.
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And look! IMAX Al Gore!
69
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If every family could just
reduce their carbon footprint
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by ten percent...
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Oh, it's hopeless.
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The floods are comin', people!
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This is my Woodstock!
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You okay, honey?
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It's fine. It's fine.
76
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I'm just intellectually drunk.
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Mm. I guess that's okay.
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Marge, Marge, Marge, you lighten up.
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It's science.
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Maybe you should sit down.
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I ain't sittin'. I'm ready to fly!
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Hmm.
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_
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Hey, kid, I want to show you something.
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Are you a pervert?
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No. A chemical engineer.
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No!
_
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I used to be like you.
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You mean incredibly bored?
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Oh, let's see
if you think this is boring.
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I drop a little water
on powdered sodium...
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Huh?!
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Wow!
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Listen, I don't know
what you're teaching,
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but you and I have great chemistry.
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Except for the lab coat.
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It makes you look kind of heavy.
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I actually am kind of heavy,
and it makes me look thinner!
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I don't know what could make
this day more perfect.
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You didn't applaud. Nothing.
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Here, I'll show ya how it goes.
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Thank you. No selfies.
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In a lesser musician,
that boy's attitude
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would be needy
masquerading as arrogance.
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I'm leaving if he can't sing.
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♪ I've had my share of crazy flings ♪
107
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♪ But they all end up leavin' ♪
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♪ And leavin', ♪
♪ well, it really stings... ♪
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Oh, God. He's one small step away
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from destroying all my logic and reason.
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Ah. Ah. Ah.
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Hey, Lisa.
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I brought you three waters:
cold, lukewarm and warm.
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- That's nice. Any sparkling?
- Damn it!
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Hi! I'm Lisa Simpson and I'm nervous
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about saying anything that will
ruin this perfect moment.
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My name's Brendan.
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Oh, good, good. No last names.
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Don't want things moving too fast.
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Oh! I hope our children get his hair.
121
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Now to subtly find out how old he is.
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How old are you?
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Well, I'm 11, but I'm insouciant
at a 12th grade level,
124
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and I'm talented, too.
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So unfair, right?
126
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That's amazing, because
the boys I know are re...
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I've got sparkling!
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Sorry, I'm not thirsty anymore.
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Damn it!
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00:05:35,757 --> 00:05:38,492
Um, so w-where do you go to school?
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I just moved here.
I'm starting next week
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at a school called
Springfield Elementary.
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I see it got a few
dreadful reviews on Yelp.
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This guy called "Gary Chalmers"
gave it half a star.
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Bloody hell!
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Of all the K through sixes
in this world,
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you had to walk into mine.
138
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A beautiful hotel bar!
Just like in The Shining!
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Oh, hi, lee... tle girl.
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If you see your ma... uh, ma wife,
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tell her Homer... not your dad...
wants the credit card.
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I will... sir.
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- Sir? I'm your dad.
- D'oh!
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Today, we are performing
145
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an experiment that we humorously call
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"making elephant toothpaste."
147
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Boy, the Germans sure know their humor.
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Let's just hope they know
something about chemistry.
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First, add a tablespoon of
dish soap to hydrogen peroxide,
150
00:06:26,141 --> 00:06:29,010
then add the warm water and the yeast!
151
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Aah! German chemistry!
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_
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Sounds great, Lisa. Really great.
154
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You're just a little behind the beat.
155
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Uh, maybe you're a little ahead?
156
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Aw, you're so cute when you're wrong.
157
00:06:57,139 --> 00:06:59,340
- Channel that rage!
- No!
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Make that reed pay for my sins!
159
00:07:04,012 --> 00:07:05,780
Yeah!
160
00:07:05,814 --> 00:07:08,215
Knock off that racket!
161
00:07:08,250 --> 00:07:09,984
It's not a racket!
162
00:07:10,018 --> 00:07:12,486
It's the truest American art form!
163
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Banging on the walls is
the truest American art form,
164
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and I'm a Picasso!
165
00:07:19,328 --> 00:07:22,129
Oh, no! They're playing in time
to the beat of my banging!
166
00:07:22,164 --> 00:07:24,665
Well, then stop banging.
167
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I can't. The rhythm is infectious.
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_
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00:07:35,324 --> 00:07:36,477
_
170
00:07:36,478 --> 00:07:38,980
Here's the school trophy case.
_
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00:07:39,014 --> 00:07:41,148
If you look closely, it's empty.
172
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They're actually decals on the glass.
173
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Oh, hello, Lisa.
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I see you have a new friend.
175
00:07:49,825 --> 00:07:51,993
Brendan, this is Nelson.
176
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Lisa, you sure know a lot of weird guys.
177
00:07:54,363 --> 00:07:55,830
Hello, Brenda.
178
00:07:55,864 --> 00:07:58,332
Excuse me.
Why is being a girl an insult?
179
00:07:58,367 --> 00:08:00,401
Ah! So evolved!
180
00:08:00,435 --> 00:08:03,170
Lisa, are you squishy
for this ding-dong?
181
00:08:03,205 --> 00:08:06,007
Lisa, does that fat kid like you?
182
00:08:07,542 --> 00:08:10,444
Whatever we had, it's in the past.
183
00:08:12,914 --> 00:08:16,317
I think there's something
in the water in this town.
184
00:08:24,426 --> 00:08:26,160
Oh, man.
185
00:08:26,194 --> 00:08:27,962
♪ On a playground I tripped ♪
186
00:08:29,531 --> 00:08:31,899
♪ Then I saw you and flipped ♪
187
00:08:31,933 --> 00:08:34,001
He used "flipped" with a double meaning!
188
00:08:34,036 --> 00:08:35,569
Bastard!
189
00:08:35,604 --> 00:08:37,838
♪ Now I'm skippin' ♪
190
00:08:37,873 --> 00:08:40,808
♪ And trippin' for you. ♪
191
00:08:40,842 --> 00:08:43,177
He turned his suffering
into entertainment,
192
00:08:43,211 --> 00:08:44,745
just like the Jewish people!
193
00:08:44,780 --> 00:08:47,148
Nothing can ruin this moment.
194
00:08:47,182 --> 00:08:49,116
Make way. Dead gophers.
195
00:08:49,151 --> 00:08:50,684
Nothing!
196
00:08:53,422 --> 00:08:55,623
How can you be sleeping?!
197
00:08:58,660 --> 00:09:00,528
Oh, thank God.
198
00:09:00,562 --> 00:09:04,932
Meanwhile, Bart's teacher says
he has a flair for chemistry.
199
00:09:04,966 --> 00:09:06,434
Why that little...
200
00:09:06,468 --> 00:09:08,936
Wait. Flair? Isn't that a good thing?
201
00:09:08,970 --> 00:09:10,805
Yes. It's too good.
202
00:09:17,446 --> 00:09:19,280
Why don't you ask him what he's up to?
203
00:09:19,314 --> 00:09:22,883
Because if he lies to me,
it's like a dagger in my heart.
204
00:09:22,918 --> 00:09:26,253
What happens when...
I mean if... I ever lie to you?
205
00:09:26,288 --> 00:09:28,522
Can you find out what he's really up to?
206
00:09:28,557 --> 00:09:30,658
- I will.
- See? That's a lie right there.
207
00:09:30,692 --> 00:09:32,993
D'oh! Okay, I really will.
208
00:09:33,028 --> 00:09:34,962
- That's also a lie.
- D'oh!
209
00:09:34,996 --> 00:09:37,431
Fine. I really, really, really will.
210
00:09:37,466 --> 00:09:39,500
Finally, the truth.
211
00:09:41,336 --> 00:09:43,003
Keeping... promise.
212
00:09:44,873 --> 00:09:46,340
Stupid tree house.
213
00:09:46,374 --> 00:09:48,776
So far off the ground.
214
00:09:50,312 --> 00:09:52,646
Uh, Dad, you haven't even
started to climb yet.
215
00:09:52,681 --> 00:09:54,815
I have to visualize it first.
216
00:09:57,819 --> 00:09:59,019
Thanks, guys.
217
00:09:59,054 --> 00:10:00,454
Ah, no problem.
218
00:10:00,489 --> 00:10:02,022
Why did we do that, Chief?
219
00:10:02,057 --> 00:10:03,958
Fat man courtesy, Lou.
220
00:10:03,992 --> 00:10:05,693
Fat man courtesy.
221
00:10:05,727 --> 00:10:08,162
Son, how do I put this?
222
00:10:08,196 --> 00:10:10,531
Are you breaking bad up here?
223
00:10:10,565 --> 00:10:12,032
No, I'm not.
224
00:10:12,067 --> 00:10:14,301
And if you're looking for meth,
go see Cletus.
225
00:10:14,336 --> 00:10:16,470
What?!
226
00:10:16,505 --> 00:10:21,709
Meth Life, proud sponsor
of the 2020 Opioid Olympics!
227
00:10:23,345 --> 00:10:26,180
Ooh, that's street ready!
228
00:10:26,214 --> 00:10:28,649
Dad, I'm just trying
to follow in your footsteps.
229
00:10:28,683 --> 00:10:31,485
You work in science,
and I think that's really cool.
230
00:10:31,520 --> 00:10:33,954
Wow, you've never
said that to me before.
231
00:10:33,989 --> 00:10:36,157
Do you want to go to work with me today?
232
00:10:36,191 --> 00:10:37,725
You can help me research my theory
233
00:10:37,759 --> 00:10:39,727
that the chairs can go flat.
234
00:10:39,761 --> 00:10:43,697
I'd like to, but I've got to do
some colloidal titration.
235
00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:47,801
Marge, it's worse than we thought.
236
00:10:47,836 --> 00:10:49,103
He's speaking in tongues.
237
00:10:49,137 --> 00:10:50,604
He's a religious weirdo.
238
00:10:50,639 --> 00:10:51,972
The worst thing there is.
239
00:10:52,007 --> 00:10:53,707
Cover your eyes, boys...
240
00:10:53,742 --> 00:10:57,244
I'm about to flip Mr. Simpson
the "Flanders finger."
241
00:10:57,279 --> 00:10:59,180
You mean...
242
00:10:59,214 --> 00:11:02,550
Yup... a thumbs-up
without a friendly wink.
243
00:11:05,359 --> 00:11:06,554
_
244
00:11:06,555 --> 00:11:08,322
You have a credit card?
245
00:11:08,356 --> 00:11:09,890
Yeah, but no money.
246
00:11:09,925 --> 00:11:12,493
Oh, a true jazz musician.
247
00:11:15,811 --> 00:11:17,250
_
248
00:11:23,111 --> 00:11:25,130
_
249
00:11:26,313 --> 00:11:27,670
_
250
00:11:30,303 --> 00:11:32,781
_
251
00:11:32,781 --> 00:11:35,249
Just give the ice cream back.
252
00:11:35,283 --> 00:11:37,818
No way. It was really hard to scoop.
253
00:11:37,842 --> 00:11:39,119
_
254
00:11:40,956 --> 00:11:43,190
Prepare to have your ears belted.
255
00:11:46,094 --> 00:11:49,129
♪ My funny valentine ♪
256
00:11:49,164 --> 00:11:52,633
♪ Sweet, comic valentine ♪
257
00:11:52,667 --> 00:11:53,634
Nelson?
258
00:11:53,668 --> 00:11:56,437
♪ You make me smile ♪
259
00:11:56,471 --> 00:11:59,340
♪ With my heart ♪
260
00:12:01,276 --> 00:12:03,444
Stop! Why are you doing this?
261
00:12:03,478 --> 00:12:06,113
I don't know. There's no
good word for what I feel.
262
00:12:06,147 --> 00:12:09,283
Scared and excited at the same time.
263
00:12:09,317 --> 00:12:11,285
There is a word: vulnerable.
264
00:12:11,319 --> 00:12:13,354
"Vulner-able"?
265
00:12:15,490 --> 00:12:17,157
Yup. I always liked you,
266
00:12:17,192 --> 00:12:20,094
but now I'm seeing you in a new light.
267
00:12:24,332 --> 00:12:27,101
♪ Your looks are laughable ♪
268
00:12:27,135 --> 00:12:28,569
Haw-haw!
269
00:12:28,603 --> 00:12:31,372
♪ Unphotographable ♪
270
00:12:31,406 --> 00:12:34,541
♪ But you're my favorite ♪
271
00:12:34,576 --> 00:12:36,644
♪ Work of art ♪
272
00:12:36,678 --> 00:12:37,645
♪ Art ♪
273
00:12:37,679 --> 00:12:38,712
♪ Art ♪
274
00:12:38,747 --> 00:12:39,847
♪ Art. ♪
275
00:12:39,881 --> 00:12:41,415
Nailed it.
276
00:12:44,854 --> 00:12:47,898
And so now there's a jazz war over me.
277
00:12:47,898 --> 00:12:50,533
It's pretty bad. But it's pretty great.
278
00:12:50,568 --> 00:12:54,170
Uh-huh. Scotland once had two
queens fightin' over her.
279
00:12:54,205 --> 00:12:55,905
Loser got Scotland.
_
280
00:12:55,940 --> 00:12:57,840
Of course, Brendan
is the superior artist.
281
00:12:57,875 --> 00:12:59,475
But that kind of intimidates me.
282
00:12:59,510 --> 00:13:01,177
And Nelson's rough, but he's sweet.
283
00:13:01,212 --> 00:13:02,679
Plus he thinks I have dimples.
284
00:13:02,713 --> 00:13:04,948
Dimples? It's that serious?
285
00:13:04,982 --> 00:13:07,517
- Aye.
- Let me give ye advice on love.
286
00:13:07,551 --> 00:13:10,486
The Scottish national flower
is the thistle.
287
00:13:10,521 --> 00:13:12,488
A humble weed. Legend has it
_
288
00:13:12,523 --> 00:13:14,257
that the Norse King Haakon
289
00:13:14,291 --> 00:13:16,626
staged a surprise invasion.
290
00:13:16,660 --> 00:13:19,796
But his barefooted army
stepped on thistles,
291
00:13:19,830 --> 00:13:22,865
and their screams
awakened the sleepy Scots.
292
00:13:25,402 --> 00:13:28,705
Many a Norwegian lass
lamented their dead lover
293
00:13:28,739 --> 00:13:31,040
- on that glorious day.
- Willie,
294
00:13:31,075 --> 00:13:33,876
someone spiked the teachers'
vodka with sulfuric acid.
295
00:13:33,911 --> 00:13:36,212
Superintendent Chalmers
lost the tip of his tongue.
296
00:13:36,247 --> 00:13:37,780
Kin-ner!
297
00:13:40,284 --> 00:13:42,118
Lisa, this is a song about you.
298
00:13:42,152 --> 00:13:44,420
A kid who's almost there.
299
00:13:44,455 --> 00:13:46,422
And when you get there,
you'll blow the roof off.
300
00:13:46,457 --> 00:13:47,590
Oh.
301
00:13:52,930 --> 00:13:55,898
Yeah, well, I brought my washboard.
302
00:13:59,236 --> 00:14:01,638
Nelson. You took our washboard.
303
00:14:01,672 --> 00:14:05,341
I got thongs to scrub.
304
00:14:06,443 --> 00:14:07,644
I really can't believe
305
00:14:07,678 --> 00:14:08,945
that this is a choice.
306
00:14:08,979 --> 00:14:10,179
I mean, look at me.
307
00:14:10,214 --> 00:14:11,581
And look at him.
308
00:14:11,615 --> 00:14:13,616
And then look back at me.
309
00:14:14,818 --> 00:14:16,786
Hmm, they're quiet.
310
00:14:16,820 --> 00:14:18,521
Too quiet.
311
00:14:20,591 --> 00:14:21,858
Now they're loud.
312
00:14:21,892 --> 00:14:23,159
Too loud.
313
00:14:24,561 --> 00:14:26,529
Now they're just right.
314
00:14:26,563 --> 00:14:28,164
Too just right.
315
00:14:28,198 --> 00:14:30,300
Are you sure
Bart's not planning anything?
316
00:14:30,334 --> 00:14:32,302
A boy takes his cues from his mother.
317
00:14:32,336 --> 00:14:34,904
If I trust him, then he'll be good.
318
00:14:34,938 --> 00:14:37,173
Hey, don't knock my mother's method...
319
00:14:37,207 --> 00:14:39,309
complete abandonment from age five.
320
00:14:41,512 --> 00:14:42,979
Hmm.
321
00:14:43,013 --> 00:14:45,248
The school talent show.
322
00:14:45,282 --> 00:14:47,717
And on the back, chemical equations.
323
00:14:47,751 --> 00:14:49,285
Still think he's innocent?
324
00:14:49,320 --> 00:14:51,654
We'll just have to go there and see.
325
00:14:54,291 --> 00:14:57,226
You wanted rock candy,
you got rock candy.
326
00:14:57,261 --> 00:14:58,628
Mmm.
327
00:14:58,662 --> 00:15:00,797
Brendan and Nelson are fighting.
_
328
00:15:00,831 --> 00:15:04,467
I'm getting Daddy's gun
to under-arrest them.
329
00:15:04,501 --> 00:15:05,468
Oh, no.
330
00:15:05,502 --> 00:15:07,670
I'm gonna call you decrescendo,
331
00:15:07,705 --> 00:15:09,772
'cause you're goin' down.
332
00:15:09,807 --> 00:15:11,341
Nelson, that's clever.
333
00:15:11,375 --> 00:15:14,477
Thanks. For you, I read a book.
334
00:15:15,879 --> 00:15:17,513
All right, Ralphie, easy, easy.
335
00:15:17,548 --> 00:15:19,549
Give Daddy back his hat.
336
00:15:21,018 --> 00:15:24,387
Oh, you missed everything,
just like Daddy.
337
00:15:28,692 --> 00:15:30,860
Ugh, so many clams.
338
00:15:30,894 --> 00:15:34,664
Well, you're gonna look
very nice for the show tonight.
339
00:15:34,698 --> 00:15:37,033
It doesn't matter how I look,
I'm not ready.
340
00:15:37,067 --> 00:15:39,569
I've been so distracted by those boys.
341
00:15:39,603 --> 00:15:41,170
How did you choose Dad?
342
00:15:41,205 --> 00:15:42,705
And never regret it?
343
00:15:42,740 --> 00:15:44,674
Marge, I might've swallowed
344
00:15:44,708 --> 00:15:46,709
a couple of your earrings.
345
00:15:48,379 --> 00:15:50,380
Gotta go.
346
00:15:53,083 --> 00:15:56,352
I do not want to know
how you got these back.
347
00:15:56,387 --> 00:15:58,254
So, we're really doing it.
348
00:15:58,288 --> 00:16:00,323
We're going to a talent show
349
00:16:00,357 --> 00:16:03,593
where Bart is putting on
a chemistry demonstration.
350
00:16:03,627 --> 00:16:04,994
Have I got that right?
351
00:16:05,028 --> 00:16:07,296
If our faces get melted off today,
352
00:16:07,331 --> 00:16:09,565
I want the last thing Bart sees
353
00:16:09,600 --> 00:16:11,701
to be us believing in him.
354
00:16:11,735 --> 00:16:13,936
Fine, fine. Let me just finish my will.
355
00:16:15,170 --> 00:16:18,784
_
356
00:16:18,809 --> 00:16:20,476
And...
357
00:16:20,511 --> 00:16:22,712
Oh, it's good
to have that taken care of.
358
00:16:22,746 --> 00:16:25,047
_
359
00:16:28,152 --> 00:16:29,752
Nelson? A word?
360
00:16:29,787 --> 00:16:31,220
Take five, Martin.
361
00:16:31,255 --> 00:16:32,889
I'm not even in your act.
362
00:16:32,923 --> 00:16:35,291
I said take five.
363
00:16:35,325 --> 00:16:36,893
Ooh!
_
364
00:16:36,927 --> 00:16:39,529
Nelson, I cherish
our unhealthy relationship.
365
00:16:39,563 --> 00:16:42,231
Especially the fact
that I can tell you the truth.
366
00:16:42,266 --> 00:16:44,300
Kiddo, you're not a singer.
367
00:16:44,334 --> 00:16:46,235
Okay, fine, I won't sing.
368
00:16:46,270 --> 00:16:47,937
But I'll still perform.
369
00:16:47,971 --> 00:16:51,140
That's how much I want
to hold your stupid hand.
370
00:16:51,175 --> 00:16:52,408
Oh.
371
00:16:52,443 --> 00:16:54,677
You're up, Nelson.
372
00:16:57,181 --> 00:16:58,648
Hello.
373
00:16:58,682 --> 00:17:00,583
I'm the school bully.
374
00:17:02,553 --> 00:17:03,920
Aw, don't be a dingus.
375
00:17:03,954 --> 00:17:05,488
I'm the next Charlie Mingus.
376
00:17:06,924 --> 00:17:08,558
Could I really choose him?
377
00:17:24,942 --> 00:17:27,376
My choice is clear: Brendan.
378
00:17:29,012 --> 00:17:30,947
Ooh, yeah, I feel the groove.
379
00:17:33,717 --> 00:17:36,686
Next contestant, Brendan Beiderbecke.
380
00:17:39,590 --> 00:17:41,123
And Brendan wins!
381
00:17:41,158 --> 00:17:42,525
Not so fast.
382
00:17:42,559 --> 00:17:44,627
We have a disqualification.
383
00:17:44,661 --> 00:17:47,663
This young man does not
live in the district.
384
00:17:47,698 --> 00:17:50,233
Right, his home is 50 feet
into West Springfield,
385
00:17:50,267 --> 00:17:52,435
which means he will be
transferred to a school
386
00:17:52,469 --> 00:17:55,838
three buses and a long bike ride
away from here.
387
00:17:55,873 --> 00:17:57,707
- Brendan...
- No, Lisa.
388
00:17:57,741 --> 00:17:59,041
I can't put you through that.
389
00:17:59,076 --> 00:18:00,810
I guess this relationship is over
390
00:18:00,844 --> 00:18:04,247
until this town invests in mass transit.
391
00:18:07,918 --> 00:18:11,053
I'll never see him again.
392
00:18:11,088 --> 00:18:13,856
Lisa, I'm glad you didn't choose me.
393
00:18:13,891 --> 00:18:15,958
No woman is worth learning music.
394
00:18:15,993 --> 00:18:17,627
All this time I've been choosing jazz
395
00:18:17,661 --> 00:18:19,495
over doing my reps.
396
00:18:19,530 --> 00:18:21,797
Well, my reps never let me down.
397
00:18:21,832 --> 00:18:23,833
Lift weights, get dates.
398
00:18:23,867 --> 00:18:25,968
Lift weights, get dates.
399
00:18:26,003 --> 00:18:28,671
Well, I guess I'm alone for the moment.
400
00:18:28,705 --> 00:18:30,506
And I like it.
401
00:18:30,541 --> 00:18:32,241
- Good for Lisa.
- She's better off alone.
402
00:18:32,276 --> 00:18:33,809
She doesn't need a man.
403
00:18:33,844 --> 00:18:35,578
Wait a minute, everybody. Even though
404
00:18:35,612 --> 00:18:37,647
the most interesting and
emotionally compelling part
405
00:18:37,681 --> 00:18:39,649
is over, we still have one performer
406
00:18:39,683 --> 00:18:42,418
who says he will "blow you away."
407
00:18:42,452 --> 00:18:45,888
So please welcome the original
Dennis the Chemist,
408
00:18:45,923 --> 00:18:47,456
Bart Simpson.
409
00:18:54,031 --> 00:18:56,599
Drop the beaker, Screwy Pasteur.
410
00:18:58,001 --> 00:19:00,736
No. I wasn't doing anything bad.
411
00:19:00,771 --> 00:19:02,305
Pour the beaker and you'll see.
412
00:19:02,339 --> 00:19:05,174
We are not gonna let you
mix those chemicals.
413
00:19:05,208 --> 00:19:07,176
We got a tip from an anonymous source
414
00:19:07,210 --> 00:19:09,045
named Seymour Skinner.
415
00:19:09,079 --> 00:19:11,547
Do you even know what "anonymous" means?
416
00:19:11,582 --> 00:19:13,282
Uh, helpful?
417
00:19:14,451 --> 00:19:15,918
Mom, I'm innocent.
418
00:19:15,953 --> 00:19:17,553
You believe me, don't you?
419
00:19:17,588 --> 00:19:20,056
Oh, if he's lying,
I'll never forgive him.
420
00:19:20,090 --> 00:19:22,725
If he's telling the truth,
he'll never forgive me.
421
00:19:22,759 --> 00:19:26,062
Glad I'm not you.
422
00:19:26,096 --> 00:19:29,231
Bart, sweetie,
I'll pour the beaker for you.
423
00:19:43,113 --> 00:19:45,047
Ooh!
424
00:19:45,082 --> 00:19:47,116
Ah!
425
00:19:48,952 --> 00:19:51,387
He's innocent. But then
who put the sulfuric acid
426
00:19:51,421 --> 00:19:53,280
in Superintendent Chalmers' drink?
427
00:19:53,280 --> 00:19:54,423
I did.
428
00:19:54,458 --> 00:19:56,926
- Willie! Why?
- Why?
429
00:19:56,960 --> 00:20:00,029
Because, Seymour,
I was trying to kill you.
430
00:20:00,063 --> 00:20:02,398
Well, that's okay. Good man.
431
00:20:02,432 --> 00:20:03,933
- But...
- Quiet, Seymour.
432
00:20:03,967 --> 00:20:05,601
The man's got a dream.
433
00:20:05,636 --> 00:20:07,269
Mmm.
434
00:20:07,304 --> 00:20:10,206
I never doubted you.
435
00:20:10,240 --> 00:20:11,807
Well, you should have.
436
00:20:20,857 --> 00:20:25,078
_
437
00:20:25,891 --> 00:20:28,692
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
438
00:20:28,727 --> 00:20:30,828
This episode was supposed
to have been a parody
439
00:20:30,862 --> 00:20:33,831
of Moonlight, not La La Land.
440
00:20:33,865 --> 00:20:36,200
Moonlight? But none of us have seen it.
441
00:20:36,234 --> 00:20:38,802
We have the DVD.
We could watch it tonight.
442
00:20:38,837 --> 00:20:41,138
Either that or X-Men: Apocalypse.
443
00:20:41,172 --> 00:20:42,640
X-Men!
444
00:20:42,674 --> 00:20:44,675
I'd like to see Moonlight.
445
00:20:44,699 --> 00:20:52,431
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- www.addic7ed.com -
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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