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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:27,040 --> 00:00:32,045 Subtitles by explosiveskull Resync by GoldenBeard 2 00:00:36,053 --> 00:00:40,121 HOGAN: Someone once said, "We don't stop playing because we grow old. 3 00:00:40,123 --> 00:00:43,257 "We grow old because we stop playing." 4 00:00:43,259 --> 00:00:45,025 When you're a kid, you can't imagine 5 00:00:45,027 --> 00:00:47,227 having any other group of friends. 6 00:00:47,229 --> 00:00:49,829 You think you're gonna be buddies forever. 7 00:00:49,831 --> 00:00:53,366 Of course, for most people, that just doesn't happen. 8 00:00:53,368 --> 00:00:57,769 But my friends and I, we figured out a way around that. 9 00:00:57,771 --> 00:01:00,373 We just never stopped playing. 10 00:01:00,375 --> 00:01:04,142 And I like to think that simple thing, playing a game 11 00:01:04,144 --> 00:01:07,513 is what made me the man I am today. 12 00:01:11,751 --> 00:01:14,988 So, the man you are today wants to be a janitor. 13 00:01:15,455 --> 00:01:16,820 Yes. 14 00:01:16,822 --> 00:01:19,222 Look, Dr. Malloy, I'm looking at your resume. 15 00:01:19,224 --> 00:01:22,025 It says you got a Ph.D. in veterinary medicine 16 00:01:22,027 --> 00:01:24,960 and that you actually have a successful practice right now. 17 00:01:24,962 --> 00:01:28,764 Look, there comes a time in every man's life 18 00:01:28,766 --> 00:01:30,698 where you just gotta take stock. 19 00:01:30,700 --> 00:01:34,838 Ask yourself, "What's really important? What's on your bucket list?" 20 00:01:36,573 --> 00:01:38,505 So, let me get this straight. 21 00:01:38,507 --> 00:01:41,842 On your bucket list, you don't have, like, skydiving or rock climbing 22 00:01:41,844 --> 00:01:44,711 or tap dancing, maybe? Dancing with wolves? 23 00:01:44,713 --> 00:01:46,380 Which I believe that has to be a thing. 24 00:01:46,382 --> 00:01:48,015 They wouldn't have made a movie if it wasn't, you know? 25 00:01:48,017 --> 00:01:51,318 All I know is that, for me, what I really want 26 00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:57,557 is to clean the urine off of that man's toilet seat. 27 00:01:58,326 --> 00:01:59,626 Talking about the boss. 28 00:02:01,595 --> 00:02:02,927 Mr. Callahan. 29 00:02:02,929 --> 00:02:04,662 Yeah, he's a great man. This is a great company. 30 00:02:04,664 --> 00:02:07,234 Anything I can do to get closer to that guy, sign me up. 31 00:02:08,235 --> 00:02:09,566 Okay, look, man. 32 00:02:09,568 --> 00:02:11,735 Honestly, any other situation, I would just tell you 33 00:02:11,737 --> 00:02:13,737 to get the fuck out my office, okay? 34 00:02:13,739 --> 00:02:17,076 But we do need the help, so when can you start? 35 00:02:22,781 --> 00:02:24,714 I've already begun. 36 00:02:24,716 --> 00:02:26,315 What the fuck was that? 37 00:02:26,317 --> 00:02:28,016 - Uh... - I haven't even opened that yet. 38 00:02:28,018 --> 00:02:31,253 Uh... I'm sorry. I was trying to be proactive. 39 00:02:31,255 --> 00:02:33,090 Today. I can start today. 40 00:02:35,059 --> 00:02:36,924 - Why don't I get you another Coke? - You do that, we good. 41 00:02:36,926 --> 00:02:39,562 - Okay. - But don't throw away no more new stuff. 42 00:02:40,431 --> 00:02:41,695 You will not be disappointed. 43 00:02:41,697 --> 00:02:42,930 We don't have to shake hands, man. 44 00:02:42,932 --> 00:02:45,068 - Okay. I'll be right back. - Sure. 45 00:02:47,069 --> 00:02:48,236 White people. 46 00:02:53,041 --> 00:02:56,309 All right, Bob. You're the CEO of a Fortune 800 company. 47 00:02:56,311 --> 00:02:59,912 You have commanded the respect of coworkers and vendors alike 48 00:02:59,914 --> 00:03:03,348 and that is why you're being interviewed by the big boys. 49 00:03:03,350 --> 00:03:05,051 The Wall Street Journal. 50 00:03:09,756 --> 00:03:11,588 - Miss Crosby. - Oh, hi. 51 00:03:11,590 --> 00:03:13,491 - Hi. Bob Callahan. - Rebecca. 52 00:03:13,493 --> 00:03:15,258 BOB: Thank you so much for taking the time. REBECCA: Oh, thank you. 53 00:03:15,260 --> 00:03:17,794 Should we just get right into it? 54 00:03:17,796 --> 00:03:20,830 - Yeah, let's jump right in. - All right. Well, here's what I would love 55 00:03:20,832 --> 00:03:22,365 for your readers to know about our company. 56 00:03:22,367 --> 00:03:26,268 We are young. We are dynamic. We are fun. 57 00:03:26,270 --> 00:03:29,472 Uh... So let's talk about diabetes. 58 00:03:29,474 --> 00:03:33,041 Mr. Callahan, how do you respond to the idea that your industry uses 59 00:03:33,043 --> 00:03:35,745 captive insurance to move risk off balance sheets? 60 00:03:36,580 --> 00:03:39,214 Well, great question. 61 00:03:39,216 --> 00:03:40,848 Tough, but fair. 62 00:03:40,850 --> 00:03:45,319 Um... I guess I would say that what I love about Freedom Atlantic 63 00:03:45,321 --> 00:03:47,921 is that we're not like other insurance companies. 64 00:03:47,923 --> 00:03:52,024 - (OBJECTS CLATTERING) - Uh... We're big, but small. 65 00:03:52,026 --> 00:03:54,160 Small. 66 00:03:54,162 --> 00:03:55,762 We are, um... 67 00:03:56,663 --> 00:03:58,131 You know, we're complex... 68 00:03:58,133 --> 00:04:01,133 Uh... And yet... And yet also simple. 69 00:04:01,135 --> 00:04:04,735 (STAMMERING) And we are global... 70 00:04:04,737 --> 00:04:06,206 (CLATTERING CONTINUES) 71 00:04:07,274 --> 00:04:09,707 - Yet local. - That's exactly right. 72 00:04:09,709 --> 00:04:13,310 Sorry, one second. Hey, could you maybe come back at another time? 73 00:04:13,312 --> 00:04:15,912 We're just right in the middle of something. Sir? 74 00:04:15,914 --> 00:04:18,250 I'm afraid not, Bob. 75 00:04:18,950 --> 00:04:20,450 Jesus Christ, Hoagie! 76 00:04:20,452 --> 00:04:22,819 What are you doing here? How did you get past security? 77 00:04:22,821 --> 00:04:25,488 I didn't. I work here. 78 00:04:25,490 --> 00:04:29,358 You got a job at my company, so you could try to tag me? 79 00:04:29,360 --> 00:04:30,759 Come on, Bob, it's over. 80 00:04:30,761 --> 00:04:33,328 You don't think I can escape from my own conference room? 81 00:04:33,330 --> 00:04:34,829 - Where are you gonna go? - Well, guess what? 82 00:04:34,831 --> 00:04:36,431 Watch now, 'cause this is happening. 83 00:04:36,433 --> 00:04:38,833 (GRUNTS) 84 00:04:38,835 --> 00:04:40,868 - God. - BOB: God dang it! 85 00:04:40,870 --> 00:04:43,437 - Oh... Ouch. - You okay? 86 00:04:43,439 --> 00:04:46,139 God! Okay. You're right. 87 00:04:46,141 --> 00:04:47,508 It's over. 88 00:04:47,510 --> 00:04:49,276 (BOB GRUNTS) 89 00:04:49,278 --> 00:04:51,178 - Yeah, I know. - Well, you're it. 90 00:04:51,180 --> 00:04:53,346 All right. It's good to see you. Good to see you, pal. 91 00:04:53,348 --> 00:04:55,047 - Good to see you. - Have you lost weight? 92 00:04:55,049 --> 00:04:57,016 Yeah, a little bit. Hey, listen, this is serious. 93 00:04:57,018 --> 00:04:59,552 Um... Jerry's quitting. 94 00:04:59,554 --> 00:05:01,187 What? Bullshit! 95 00:05:01,189 --> 00:05:03,289 I swear to God. End of this season, he's retiring. 96 00:05:03,291 --> 00:05:07,559 Well, okay. But I am in the middle of an interview. So can I... 97 00:05:07,561 --> 00:05:09,960 - Wall Street Journal, that's so cool! - Oh, thank you. 98 00:05:09,962 --> 00:05:13,096 No, thank you, by the way, 'cause this was the distraction I needed. 99 00:05:13,098 --> 00:05:14,331 You get Bob talking about himself, 100 00:05:14,333 --> 00:05:16,533 it is just a feedback loop. Non-stop. 101 00:05:16,535 --> 00:05:18,235 - Can we talk about this outside, please? - Yeah. 102 00:05:18,237 --> 00:05:20,937 Can we talk outside? I'll be right back. I promise. 103 00:05:20,939 --> 00:05:23,272 There's three days left in May. That gives us 63 hours 104 00:05:23,274 --> 00:05:25,208 to round up the guys, and get him. 105 00:05:25,210 --> 00:05:27,210 Great. We can talk about this over dinner. 106 00:05:27,212 --> 00:05:28,578 What? No, no, no. We have to go now! 107 00:05:28,580 --> 00:05:31,313 Don't you have bathrooms to clean or something? 108 00:05:31,315 --> 00:05:32,981 - Technically, yes, I do. - All right, you know what? 109 00:05:32,983 --> 00:05:35,984 Take this ridiculous thing off and get to it 110 00:05:35,986 --> 00:05:37,652 We'll talk about this later. 111 00:05:37,654 --> 00:05:40,254 - I'll resign, Bob. - You don't have to. You're fired. 112 00:05:40,256 --> 00:05:42,556 Good. 'Cause the benefits here suck! 113 00:05:42,558 --> 00:05:43,791 No, they don't. 114 00:05:43,793 --> 00:05:45,961 That's true. Benefits are really good. 115 00:05:48,096 --> 00:05:50,863 Oh, hey, sorry about that. Where were we? 116 00:05:50,865 --> 00:05:52,865 - Uh... Diabetes. Yes. - Explain. 117 00:05:52,867 --> 00:05:56,603 Well, I'm not a doctor, but there are two types. 118 00:05:56,605 --> 00:05:59,171 Type one is called "Type One." 119 00:05:59,173 --> 00:06:01,673 And Type Two is more of an adult onset. 120 00:06:01,675 --> 00:06:03,177 No. (STAMMERS) Him. 121 00:06:04,578 --> 00:06:06,911 - What are you doing? - Hoagie, what do you want? 122 00:06:06,913 --> 00:06:08,379 You tagged me. I'm it, okay? 123 00:06:08,381 --> 00:06:10,014 You're sitting there like I didn't just tell you 124 00:06:10,016 --> 00:06:12,984 we gotta deal with this right now. 125 00:06:12,986 --> 00:06:14,951 Because we got a real shot at Jerry this year. 126 00:06:14,953 --> 00:06:16,152 You say that every year. 127 00:06:16,154 --> 00:06:17,354 Yeah, but this year's different. 128 00:06:17,356 --> 00:06:18,755 You say that every year. 129 00:06:18,757 --> 00:06:20,724 - But this year's really different. - You said that last year. 130 00:06:20,726 --> 00:06:21,992 I know, you're right. 131 00:06:21,994 --> 00:06:23,660 But this year's actually different. 132 00:06:23,662 --> 00:06:25,662 Because 133 00:06:25,664 --> 00:06:28,933 we know exactly where he's going to be and when. 134 00:06:31,835 --> 00:06:35,671 "The wedding celebration of Susan and Jerry. Saturday, May 31st." 135 00:06:35,673 --> 00:06:38,473 He's a sitting duck! 136 00:06:38,475 --> 00:06:41,278 We gotta join forces. We get Jerry now, 137 00:06:42,412 --> 00:06:43,413 or we die. 138 00:06:44,213 --> 00:06:45,245 What? 139 00:06:45,247 --> 00:06:47,082 Eventually. You know what I mean. 140 00:06:48,984 --> 00:06:51,318 Come on, Bob. 141 00:06:51,320 --> 00:06:53,120 You gonna grow old, or you gonna keep playing? 142 00:06:59,560 --> 00:07:00,959 Keep playing. 143 00:07:00,961 --> 00:07:03,061 That is the right answer. 144 00:07:03,063 --> 00:07:05,130 - Nice to meet you. - I'm sorry, I have to go. 145 00:07:05,132 --> 00:07:07,399 No. 146 00:07:07,401 --> 00:07:09,099 Hold on. Hold on. 147 00:07:09,102 --> 00:07:10,702 I can't believe he's getting married, and he didn't even tell us. 148 00:07:10,704 --> 00:07:12,503 I know, I was mad at first, too, and then hurt. 149 00:07:12,505 --> 00:07:15,706 But, you know, he just realized he'd be a sitting target. 150 00:07:15,708 --> 00:07:17,241 That's insane, even for him. 151 00:07:17,243 --> 00:07:19,410 Will one of you please tell me what's going on here? 152 00:07:19,412 --> 00:07:22,345 - Are we off the record? - No, definitely not. 153 00:07:22,347 --> 00:07:24,447 Awesome. Okay. Our group of friends has been playing 154 00:07:24,449 --> 00:07:26,616 the same game of tag for 30 years. 155 00:07:26,618 --> 00:07:30,852 - What? - For the entire month of May, every year, we play tag. 156 00:07:30,854 --> 00:07:32,688 Just like when we were kids. 157 00:07:32,690 --> 00:07:34,556 But we're not on a playground, and we all live in different cities. 158 00:07:34,558 --> 00:07:36,725 So, well, you don't ever know when someone's gonna pop up. 159 00:07:36,727 --> 00:07:39,126 You could be shopping at the mall, then your buddy jumps out of the trunk 160 00:07:39,128 --> 00:07:41,195 and, boom, tags you. You're it. 161 00:07:41,197 --> 00:07:42,463 Here's the craziest part. 162 00:07:42,465 --> 00:07:45,098 Our buddy, Jerry, never been tagged. 163 00:07:45,101 --> 00:07:46,367 What do you mean he's never been tagged? 164 00:07:46,369 --> 00:07:48,501 You never put your hand on his body? 165 00:07:48,503 --> 00:07:50,770 Not during the month of May. For like 30 years. 166 00:07:50,772 --> 00:07:54,274 Why don't you just go over to his house, and tag him? 167 00:07:54,276 --> 00:07:55,974 - It's not that easy. - Why not? 168 00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:59,112 Because... (SIGHS) 169 00:07:59,114 --> 00:08:04,082 Well, for starters, because he is so freaking fast. 170 00:08:04,084 --> 00:08:06,351 You just can't catch him. 171 00:08:06,353 --> 00:08:08,486 BOB: Yeah, and if you do manage to catch him, 172 00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:12,557 then he goes feral and turns into some kind of crazy wild animal. 173 00:08:12,559 --> 00:08:14,326 (GROWLS) 174 00:08:16,462 --> 00:08:19,531 HOGAN: And if you manage to trap the wild animal, 175 00:08:21,099 --> 00:08:22,965 he still finds a way. 176 00:08:22,967 --> 00:08:25,000 (THUNDER RUMBLING) 177 00:08:25,002 --> 00:08:26,335 REBECCA: What just happened there? 178 00:08:26,337 --> 00:08:29,538 To this day, I have no idea. No idea. 179 00:08:29,540 --> 00:08:31,507 He's the best that ever played. Yeah. 180 00:08:31,509 --> 00:08:32,775 Yeah. 181 00:08:32,777 --> 00:08:35,210 And now he wants to retire with a perfect record, 182 00:08:35,212 --> 00:08:37,812 make us all look like fools. 183 00:08:37,814 --> 00:08:40,983 - Fools! - He gets very excited. 184 00:08:42,485 --> 00:08:44,952 There he is. 185 00:08:44,954 --> 00:08:47,554 - Wait, you're not leaving. - Look, Miss Crosby, I apologize. 186 00:08:47,556 --> 00:08:49,456 I will have someone from my office reach out to you. 187 00:08:49,458 --> 00:08:51,592 We will reschedule this as soon as I'm back in town. 188 00:08:51,594 --> 00:08:53,326 Nope. 189 00:08:53,328 --> 00:08:55,461 - Nope? - No. Change of plan. 190 00:08:55,463 --> 00:08:58,130 I'm coming with you. This is a story. 191 00:08:58,132 --> 00:09:01,333 - What? No. - Yes. This is the coolest game ever. 192 00:09:01,335 --> 00:09:03,001 I don't think that's gonna be her angle. 193 00:09:03,003 --> 00:09:04,603 I don't know what my angle is, 194 00:09:04,605 --> 00:09:07,271 but I do find it very interesting that we live in a world 195 00:09:07,273 --> 00:09:09,107 where grown men take an entire month 196 00:09:09,109 --> 00:09:11,275 out of every year to play a child's game. 197 00:09:11,277 --> 00:09:14,678 It's very interesting. You're right. Let's go. 198 00:09:14,680 --> 00:09:16,313 I don't think she means interesting in a good way. 199 00:09:16,315 --> 00:09:18,450 - Get in, Bob. - Fine! Fuck it, I'm going. 200 00:09:31,695 --> 00:09:34,465 (WATER BUBBLING) 201 00:09:37,033 --> 00:09:38,635 (COUGHING) 202 00:09:41,704 --> 00:09:44,139 All right, it's all ready for you, Dad. 203 00:09:46,241 --> 00:09:50,444 Hey! Thank you. Thank you. 204 00:09:50,446 --> 00:09:54,114 I'll be honest with you. Ever since my wife died, 205 00:09:54,116 --> 00:09:56,451 you've really been the rock holding me down. 206 00:10:01,556 --> 00:10:03,021 So, thank you. 207 00:10:03,023 --> 00:10:05,657 Well, I appreciate that... (MUMBLES) 208 00:10:05,659 --> 00:10:07,561 But your wife is not dead. 209 00:10:08,929 --> 00:10:10,697 She's dead to me. 210 00:10:11,330 --> 00:10:12,996 What? 211 00:10:12,998 --> 00:10:15,165 - (BOTH LAUGHING) - Yeah. 212 00:10:15,167 --> 00:10:16,633 - That's right. - That's right. 213 00:10:16,635 --> 00:10:19,269 Listen to me. 214 00:10:19,271 --> 00:10:22,739 "To live in the past is to die in the present." 215 00:10:22,741 --> 00:10:24,073 Now, who said that? 216 00:10:24,075 --> 00:10:26,642 - You did. - Bill Belichick said that! 217 00:10:26,644 --> 00:10:28,176 God love him. Yes, sir. 218 00:10:28,178 --> 00:10:29,679 All right, I'm gonna get us more weed. 219 00:10:29,681 --> 00:10:30,979 God bless you, son. 220 00:10:30,981 --> 00:10:32,247 (KNOCK AT DOOR) 221 00:10:32,249 --> 00:10:34,118 Damn, that was fast! 222 00:10:39,288 --> 00:10:40,755 - Hey! - Hey, Anna. 223 00:10:40,757 --> 00:10:42,958 - Hey, Chilli. How are you? - Good, nice to see you. 224 00:10:42,960 --> 00:10:44,258 What are you doing here? 225 00:10:44,260 --> 00:10:47,661 I was... Um... Was walking by 226 00:10:47,663 --> 00:10:50,630 and thought I'd pop in and say hi to you and Roger. 227 00:10:50,632 --> 00:10:53,066 Yeah, we're doing great. Where's Hoagie? 228 00:10:53,068 --> 00:10:55,502 Oh, um... He's um... You know... 229 00:10:55,504 --> 00:10:59,206 - Oh, shit! - Hogan's in the library. 230 00:11:00,241 --> 00:11:02,276 Dad, what month is it? 231 00:11:03,410 --> 00:11:05,276 May. 232 00:11:05,278 --> 00:11:07,378 Mmm-mmm. You're not getting by me. 233 00:11:07,380 --> 00:11:09,449 (GRUNTS AND SCREAMS) 234 00:11:10,383 --> 00:11:11,782 Anna, are you okay? 235 00:11:11,784 --> 00:11:14,017 He's loose! He's loose! 236 00:11:14,019 --> 00:11:16,555 Fuck it. Hogan, honey, he's coming. 237 00:11:17,656 --> 00:11:20,259 He's heading down the east stairwell. 238 00:11:23,562 --> 00:11:25,563 (CHILLI SCREAMS) 239 00:11:26,999 --> 00:11:28,999 - Hey. Hogan! - Hey, Chilli! 240 00:11:29,001 --> 00:11:31,232 I haven't seen you in a while, man. How's everything? 241 00:11:31,234 --> 00:11:32,868 Pretty good. Yeah, what about you? 242 00:11:32,870 --> 00:11:34,970 - Everything's good, man. Yeah, work. - You sure? 243 00:11:34,972 --> 00:11:37,006 I mean, I'm going through that divorce, but everything's fine. It's fine. 244 00:11:37,008 --> 00:11:39,072 Hey, also, side note. Stop bringing your wife into this, man. 245 00:11:39,074 --> 00:11:41,609 That's bullshit. She's way too intense for the game. 246 00:11:41,611 --> 00:11:43,611 You're just jealous 'cause she's such a badass. 247 00:11:43,613 --> 00:11:46,046 She's my secret weapon. Kind of worked 'cause you're trapped. 248 00:11:46,048 --> 00:11:47,581 - Am I trapped? - Yeah. 249 00:11:47,583 --> 00:11:49,183 I am? (SCREAMS) 250 00:11:50,886 --> 00:11:53,085 Damn you, Chilli! 251 00:11:53,087 --> 00:11:54,822 (GRUNTS AND SCREAMS) 252 00:11:58,793 --> 00:12:00,893 HOGAN: (SCREAMS) No! 253 00:12:00,895 --> 00:12:03,063 Jesus, Chilli! That's trash! 254 00:12:16,709 --> 00:12:18,141 Fuck me! 255 00:12:18,143 --> 00:12:19,645 Hey, Martin! 256 00:12:20,846 --> 00:12:22,380 Hi. Sorry. 257 00:12:24,849 --> 00:12:26,250 (GRUNTS) 258 00:12:27,786 --> 00:12:29,754 (GROANING) 259 00:12:37,761 --> 00:12:39,794 Excuse me, Mrs. Martin, coming through. Coming through. 260 00:12:39,796 --> 00:12:41,531 Sorry, sorry, sorry. 261 00:12:42,665 --> 00:12:45,602 Oh, my God! I'm so sorry. So sorry. 262 00:12:46,535 --> 00:12:47,703 Wow. Okay. 263 00:12:49,705 --> 00:12:52,139 - Get him, Andy! - (ANDY SCREAMS) 264 00:12:58,613 --> 00:13:00,548 (PANTING) 265 00:13:04,752 --> 00:13:06,286 Chilli, Chilli, Chilli... 266 00:13:08,221 --> 00:13:09,854 HOGAN: Chilli! No, no, no! 267 00:13:09,856 --> 00:13:11,756 No! No! 268 00:13:11,758 --> 00:13:13,727 (CHILLI GRUNTS) 269 00:13:16,295 --> 00:13:18,297 (SIGHS) 270 00:13:20,699 --> 00:13:22,266 (COUGHS) 271 00:13:24,636 --> 00:13:26,335 Oh, fuck! 272 00:13:26,337 --> 00:13:28,537 - You okay, buddy? - (CHILLI COUGHS) 273 00:13:28,539 --> 00:13:32,140 Oh, just great. Great. 274 00:13:32,142 --> 00:13:34,709 You ain't getting me today, man. I'm not losing. 275 00:13:34,711 --> 00:13:37,681 - There's only one problem, Chilli. - Oh, yeah? What's that? 276 00:13:38,615 --> 00:13:40,949 I'm not it. 277 00:13:40,951 --> 00:13:43,817 - The fuck you mean you're not it? - I am, motherfucker! 278 00:13:43,819 --> 00:13:45,554 (GRUNT AND MOANS) 279 00:13:47,423 --> 00:13:50,189 - It! Come on, get up. - Goddamn! 280 00:13:50,191 --> 00:13:52,126 - You all right? - Yeah, I'm fine. 281 00:13:52,128 --> 00:13:54,961 - You took a pretty big hit there. My God. - Yeah, I thought I got away. 282 00:13:54,963 --> 00:13:57,096 - Set him up. Knock him down. - Oh, my God! 283 00:13:57,098 --> 00:13:59,065 - Good idea. - All right, fair and square. I'm it, right? 284 00:13:59,067 --> 00:14:01,034 - Yes. - And now you're it. 285 00:14:01,036 --> 00:14:02,467 - Nope. - Yeah. 286 00:14:02,469 --> 00:14:04,703 Nope. I'm not taking it. 287 00:14:04,705 --> 00:14:06,071 No, I'm not. No! 288 00:14:06,073 --> 00:14:07,238 - No. - We're not... 289 00:14:07,240 --> 00:14:08,608 Guys, we're too old... 290 00:14:11,078 --> 00:14:12,677 No, don't start hitting. 291 00:14:12,679 --> 00:14:14,681 No, no, you're it. I don't know who... 292 00:14:15,347 --> 00:14:16,647 HOGAN: You're it. 293 00:14:16,649 --> 00:14:18,248 - Guys, guys, guys! - This is ridiculous. 294 00:14:18,250 --> 00:14:21,551 Son of a bitch! You sack punched me! 295 00:14:21,553 --> 00:14:23,353 Yeah, you went crazy, and now you're it. 296 00:14:23,355 --> 00:14:24,587 - Sorry. - Okay, I'm it. 297 00:14:24,589 --> 00:14:26,622 - ALL: Truce, truce, truce. - Deal. 298 00:14:26,624 --> 00:14:28,626 This isn't about us anyway. 299 00:14:30,461 --> 00:14:32,161 This is the year we get Jerry. 300 00:14:32,163 --> 00:14:34,129 - No, we're not gonna get Jerry. - No, That's what you think. 301 00:14:34,131 --> 00:14:37,267 - I said the same thing. We got a plan, all right? - (CAR HONKS) 302 00:14:38,468 --> 00:14:39,867 Guys! Guys, let's go. 303 00:14:39,869 --> 00:14:42,437 She's so intense, man. She takes it too far. 304 00:14:42,439 --> 00:14:44,237 You know what? If it wasn't for me, 305 00:14:44,239 --> 00:14:46,174 you guys would be day drunk playing mini-golf with 12-year-olds. 306 00:14:46,176 --> 00:14:48,542 Let's go. I know where Sable is. Get in the car, ladies. 307 00:14:48,544 --> 00:14:50,911 Yeah, we're going right to the airport, so grab a bag, grab a... 308 00:14:50,913 --> 00:14:52,846 - A toothbrush or whatever. - I'm good. Let's go. 309 00:14:52,848 --> 00:14:54,447 - Really? - Wow! 310 00:14:54,449 --> 00:14:55,848 - That's gross. - He's gung-ho. That's good. 311 00:14:55,850 --> 00:14:57,883 Hey, Rebecca, we're gonna go get Sable now. 312 00:14:57,885 --> 00:14:59,353 Who is Sable? 313 00:15:02,023 --> 00:15:04,489 KEVIN: I know you think she's not cheating on me. 314 00:15:04,491 --> 00:15:06,991 But what about the possibility of 315 00:15:06,993 --> 00:15:09,527 her knowing that I'm following her to Pilates class, 316 00:15:09,529 --> 00:15:11,495 and on the days when it's not Pilates class 317 00:15:11,497 --> 00:15:15,301 that's when she has all the free time to ride random dick. 318 00:15:16,936 --> 00:15:18,902 Okay, riding dicks. 319 00:15:18,904 --> 00:15:22,572 Kevin, you're really focused on other dicks. 320 00:15:22,574 --> 00:15:24,240 But what about yours? 321 00:15:24,242 --> 00:15:25,875 - What about you? - If you don't focus on the other dicks, 322 00:15:25,877 --> 00:15:28,678 those dicks will plug up the places you wanna go. 323 00:15:28,680 --> 00:15:33,381 What about mentally going into each of those holes 324 00:15:33,383 --> 00:15:35,784 and unplugging every one of those dicks. 325 00:15:35,786 --> 00:15:39,020 Pulling out, pulling out, pulling out, pulling out. 326 00:15:39,022 --> 00:15:42,023 And then you have a clear mind. Dickless. 327 00:15:42,025 --> 00:15:46,292 Well, I'm paranoid that my original paranoia might turn on my paranoia. 328 00:15:46,294 --> 00:15:49,897 It sounds like there are some fundamental trust issues. 329 00:15:49,899 --> 00:15:50,997 You can't trust anybody. 330 00:15:50,999 --> 00:15:52,565 I don't think anyone's out to get you. 331 00:15:52,567 --> 00:15:54,366 I don't think anyone is following you. 332 00:15:54,368 --> 00:15:56,568 - (THUD) - CHILLI: (IN DISTANCE) I can't take it anymore. 333 00:15:56,570 --> 00:15:58,570 I can't take it. I can't listen to this. 334 00:15:58,572 --> 00:16:00,441 Are you shushing me? 335 00:16:01,742 --> 00:16:03,376 Stop! 336 00:16:04,277 --> 00:16:05,813 What the fuck? 337 00:16:06,947 --> 00:16:08,579 Oh, wow! 338 00:16:08,581 --> 00:16:10,314 - Doc! - You're there. 339 00:16:10,316 --> 00:16:12,450 Hi, Hogan. Nice to meet you. 340 00:16:12,452 --> 00:16:13,885 Bob Callahan. How do you do? 341 00:16:13,887 --> 00:16:15,452 - Sorry, this is a terrible idea. - Who are you? 342 00:16:15,454 --> 00:16:17,654 - We're friends of Sable's. - (LAUGHING) 343 00:16:17,656 --> 00:16:19,689 We thought it'd be really funny to hide in there 344 00:16:19,691 --> 00:16:22,259 but then we overheard way too much. 345 00:16:22,261 --> 00:16:24,493 Yeah, buddy, you're clearly going through a lot of shit. 346 00:16:24,495 --> 00:16:25,929 All right, get here, man. 347 00:16:25,931 --> 00:16:28,697 And, also, you're it. 348 00:16:28,699 --> 00:16:31,101 I don't care. I miss you. How are you, buddy? 349 00:16:31,103 --> 00:16:32,701 - I'm good. - Yup. 350 00:16:32,703 --> 00:16:34,270 - Now you're it. - I know, I know, I'm it. 351 00:16:34,272 --> 00:16:36,704 Anyway, yeah, we came to get you, so, come on. 352 00:16:36,706 --> 00:16:38,506 - Sable. - Come on. 353 00:16:38,508 --> 00:16:40,942 I got 40 minutes left in the session. 354 00:16:40,944 --> 00:16:43,677 - So what? This is important. - Yeah. 355 00:16:43,679 --> 00:16:46,415 Pack your bags. We're goin' home. 356 00:16:48,517 --> 00:16:49,750 I don't have my bags here. 357 00:16:49,752 --> 00:16:50,918 BOB: Yeah, we know. HOGAN: Obviously. 358 00:16:50,920 --> 00:16:52,585 - For fuck's sake. - I know that... 359 00:16:52,587 --> 00:16:54,087 We'll just go by your house and get your stuff. 360 00:16:54,089 --> 00:16:55,621 You should've just went to my house in the first place 361 00:16:55,623 --> 00:16:57,456 if we were gonna go to my house anyway. 362 00:16:57,458 --> 00:16:58,891 - This seemed like a better idea. - It was a whole bit! Let's go. 363 00:16:58,893 --> 00:17:00,358 Yeah, come on, we'll figure it out. 364 00:17:00,360 --> 00:17:02,261 Okay, you'll still owe me for this hour. 365 00:17:02,263 --> 00:17:05,023 - Thanks, Doctor. - You guys aren't taking my mental health seriously. 366 00:17:28,419 --> 00:17:30,953 Look at those little assholes. 367 00:17:30,955 --> 00:17:33,455 - Calm down. - It's awful to be back. 368 00:17:33,457 --> 00:17:35,025 It's gonna be fun. 369 00:17:55,911 --> 00:17:57,143 (BREATHES DEEPLY) 370 00:17:57,145 --> 00:17:59,013 Ah! It still smells the same. 371 00:18:01,315 --> 00:18:03,150 Uh... Here we go. 372 00:18:06,386 --> 00:18:08,620 (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) 373 00:18:08,622 --> 00:18:10,557 All right! 374 00:18:19,131 --> 00:18:20,699 Oh! 375 00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:23,666 (GRUNTS) 376 00:18:23,668 --> 00:18:26,202 CHILLI: Okay, yeah. 377 00:18:26,204 --> 00:18:32,407 - Oh, yeah, it's still there. - Guys, we're back in the war room. 378 00:18:32,409 --> 00:18:35,477 - You know what that means. - No, I don't know what that means. 379 00:18:35,479 --> 00:18:38,146 It means we're going to war, Sable. Now, just to be clear, 380 00:18:38,148 --> 00:18:41,849 we're not gonna tag Jerry at the actual wedding ceremony 381 00:18:41,851 --> 00:18:44,319 because, frankly, that would make us giant assholes. 382 00:18:44,321 --> 00:18:46,086 I'm sorry. I thought that was the whole point of this. 383 00:18:46,088 --> 00:18:48,889 I took two weeks unpaid vacation for that exact reason. 384 00:18:48,891 --> 00:18:50,590 - Two weeks? - Yeah. 385 00:18:50,592 --> 00:18:52,458 I'm going zip-lining after this. 386 00:18:52,460 --> 00:18:55,862 Okay. There's gonna be plenty of time to get him before the ceremony. 387 00:18:55,864 --> 00:18:57,830 There's the rehearsal dinner. 388 00:18:57,832 --> 00:19:00,632 There's a luncheon, photo shoot. Just don't worry. We're gonna get him. 389 00:19:00,634 --> 00:19:03,936 Very official plan. Who wants to smoke some weed with me? Sable! 390 00:19:03,938 --> 00:19:05,304 I'll take a toke. 391 00:19:05,306 --> 00:19:07,072 What? 392 00:19:07,074 --> 00:19:11,442 Yeah, I've been, you know, experimenting with pot recently. 393 00:19:11,444 --> 00:19:13,244 Mostly medicinal, but hey. 394 00:19:13,246 --> 00:19:18,316 I've wanted to get high with you my entire life, Hogan. 395 00:19:18,318 --> 00:19:19,916 - Honestly. - Let's do it. 396 00:19:19,918 --> 00:19:21,720 - This is the best gift of all time. - Okay. 397 00:19:23,021 --> 00:19:25,656 This is exactly how I imagined it, by the way. 398 00:19:28,693 --> 00:19:30,092 (WHISPERS) Hoagie's mom. 399 00:19:30,094 --> 00:19:33,898 I've got pizza rolls for my pizza roll boys. 400 00:19:34,432 --> 00:19:35,832 Pizza rolls. 401 00:19:36,466 --> 00:19:38,434 (SIGHS) 402 00:19:38,436 --> 00:19:40,535 Is that marijuana I smell? 403 00:19:40,537 --> 00:19:41,938 (HOGAN SNORTS) 404 00:19:43,840 --> 00:19:45,505 No. What? 405 00:19:45,507 --> 00:19:47,007 It's my pot. I'm really sorry. 406 00:19:47,009 --> 00:19:48,742 I was smoking pot. It's an old habit. 407 00:19:48,744 --> 00:19:52,147 Oh, so it's your weedie. (CHUCKLES) 408 00:19:53,581 --> 00:19:55,648 I think I'm getting a contact high. 409 00:19:55,650 --> 00:19:57,883 - Okay. - Hits me deep. 410 00:19:57,885 --> 00:19:59,517 Below the belt, you know. 411 00:19:59,519 --> 00:20:00,753 I've got a belt upstairs. 412 00:20:00,755 --> 00:20:03,155 I use it on naughty little boys. 413 00:20:03,157 --> 00:20:05,458 (BOTH LAUGHING) 414 00:20:05,460 --> 00:20:07,592 What the fuck is going on? 415 00:20:07,594 --> 00:20:09,526 I hope you don't hurt those boys. 416 00:20:09,528 --> 00:20:10,730 I don't mean to. 417 00:20:11,965 --> 00:20:13,564 It was really nice speaking with you. 418 00:20:13,566 --> 00:20:15,833 - Thank you for the pizza rolls. - Mom... 419 00:20:15,835 --> 00:20:18,736 Stop flirting with Chilli. 420 00:20:18,738 --> 00:20:21,637 Linda, have you seen Jerry lately? 421 00:20:21,639 --> 00:20:23,573 I mean, do you still play tennis with his mom? 422 00:20:23,575 --> 00:20:25,875 Because we need to find him before the wedding and we've got no clues. 423 00:20:25,877 --> 00:20:27,844 I don't even talk to her. I never see her at the club. 424 00:20:27,846 --> 00:20:31,613 But I'm thrilled for Jerry. Susan is such a nice girl. 425 00:20:31,615 --> 00:20:34,049 - We just need the information. - We need to find him. Yeah. 426 00:20:34,051 --> 00:20:36,184 Have you taken the guys over to the Sandpiper? 427 00:20:36,186 --> 00:20:41,356 Lou does nothing but talk about you and the old days and Jerry. 428 00:20:41,358 --> 00:20:43,090 You know, I think he's lonely. 429 00:20:43,092 --> 00:20:45,558 Okay, that's not helpful. But it... 430 00:20:45,560 --> 00:20:46,927 Oh, my God! 431 00:20:46,929 --> 00:20:48,095 Lou knows everything going on in this town. 432 00:20:48,097 --> 00:20:50,231 Guys, we're going to the Sandpiper. 433 00:20:50,233 --> 00:20:53,433 I don't wanna go to the Sandpiper. I'm having a great time here. 434 00:20:53,435 --> 00:20:55,768 I miss this basement. We don't have any more beer. 435 00:20:55,770 --> 00:20:56,938 Let's go to Sandpiper. 436 00:21:09,549 --> 00:21:11,215 Lou! 437 00:21:11,217 --> 00:21:14,218 Gentlemen! And ladies. 438 00:21:14,220 --> 00:21:17,120 How are you guys? Hey, we have new summer stouts on draft. 439 00:21:17,122 --> 00:21:20,057 Lou, we don't give a shit about summer stouts. We're just looking for Jerry. 440 00:21:20,059 --> 00:21:22,993 Ooh! I hate to be the bearer of bad tidings, Anna, 441 00:21:22,995 --> 00:21:25,128 but you are technically still banned from here. 442 00:21:25,130 --> 00:21:28,532 - HOGAN: What? Still? - What? It was dollar margarita night, Lou. 443 00:21:28,534 --> 00:21:29,799 Hey, I don't make the rules. 444 00:21:29,801 --> 00:21:30,966 Fuck you, Lou. 445 00:21:30,968 --> 00:21:32,301 You know something about Jerry, 446 00:21:32,303 --> 00:21:35,371 I can see it in your eyes, you rat fuck. 447 00:21:35,373 --> 00:21:36,871 I don't know where Jerry is. 448 00:21:36,873 --> 00:21:38,473 Fuck you. Tell us. 449 00:21:38,475 --> 00:21:42,312 I'm sorry, Lou. I'm so sorry. 450 00:21:43,380 --> 00:21:44,678 How are you? How's your mom? 451 00:21:44,680 --> 00:21:45,979 - Fantastic. - Oh, that's good. 452 00:21:45,981 --> 00:21:47,915 - Fit as a fiddle. - Tell her I said hi. 453 00:21:47,917 --> 00:21:49,615 - I will, for sure. - And fuck you. I don't wanna be in this bar anyway. 454 00:21:49,617 --> 00:21:51,118 - Okay, okay. - We're gonna wait outside. 455 00:21:51,120 --> 00:21:53,554 Look forward to catching up with y'all. 456 00:21:53,556 --> 00:21:56,589 Listen, I'll tell you everything you need to know about Jerry 457 00:21:56,591 --> 00:22:01,360 if you tag me just one time. It is all I ask. I will spill. 458 00:22:01,362 --> 00:22:03,262 Why can't I tag ya? 459 00:22:03,264 --> 00:22:05,964 Because I'm not officially in the game. 460 00:22:05,966 --> 00:22:07,399 What's the good word, Lou? 461 00:22:07,401 --> 00:22:09,700 We don't stop playing 'cause we grow old, 462 00:22:09,702 --> 00:22:11,702 we grow old because we stop playing. 463 00:22:11,704 --> 00:22:13,405 You are not part of this game. 464 00:22:13,407 --> 00:22:14,605 Benjamin Franklin. 465 00:22:14,607 --> 00:22:16,440 - Lou. - Yeah? 466 00:22:16,442 --> 00:22:17,942 Where's Jerry? 467 00:22:17,944 --> 00:22:19,111 I'm afraid I can't help you out with that, boys. 468 00:22:19,113 --> 00:22:21,077 - Really? - Yeah, you see, 469 00:22:21,079 --> 00:22:22,745 Jerry and I have struck a little deal. 470 00:22:22,747 --> 00:22:24,180 I say nothing about his whereabouts, 471 00:22:24,182 --> 00:22:26,149 and then I get to play tag next year. 472 00:22:26,151 --> 00:22:27,983 - Jerry made that deal with you? - Oh, yeah. 473 00:22:27,985 --> 00:22:30,686 And I am unbreakable, boys. 474 00:22:30,688 --> 00:22:32,921 Cannot penetrate this Iron Curtain. 475 00:22:32,923 --> 00:22:35,591 The vault is closed. 476 00:22:35,593 --> 00:22:36,958 Well, Lou, that is a real shame 477 00:22:36,960 --> 00:22:38,793 because I was gonna introduce you to Rebecca, 478 00:22:38,795 --> 00:22:42,563 who is writing an article about tag for The Wall Street Journal. 479 00:22:42,565 --> 00:22:43,798 - How cool is that? - So cool. 480 00:22:43,800 --> 00:22:45,233 Isn't that exciting? 481 00:22:45,235 --> 00:22:47,335 Is there any way that Lou could be in your article? 482 00:22:47,337 --> 00:22:48,569 Oh, yeah. 483 00:22:48,571 --> 00:22:50,303 Right? It's an interesting angle, right? 484 00:22:50,305 --> 00:22:52,172 Probably has to be a story for that to happen, right? 485 00:22:52,174 --> 00:22:53,672 What do you mean there has to be a story? 486 00:22:53,674 --> 00:22:56,642 I mean, no Jerry, no story. 487 00:22:56,644 --> 00:22:58,210 You need Jerry for the story? 488 00:22:58,212 --> 00:22:59,979 Could you imagine that thing printed out here, framed? 489 00:22:59,981 --> 00:23:01,514 - Hanging on the wall? With this guy? - Yeah. 490 00:23:01,516 --> 00:23:03,349 Which will get published everywhere. Everyone will see. 491 00:23:03,351 --> 00:23:04,949 - Nationally. - Don't you wanna be in the article? 492 00:23:04,951 --> 00:23:07,419 Yeah, dude. I would love to be in an article. 493 00:23:07,421 --> 00:23:09,354 Well, we're not gonna break Fort Knox here. 494 00:23:09,356 --> 00:23:10,855 Fuck, man. All right. 495 00:23:10,857 --> 00:23:12,656 - I was really excited about that, too. - Good to see you, buddy. 496 00:23:12,658 --> 00:23:14,325 Look, look, look. 497 00:23:14,327 --> 00:23:15,895 (SNIFFS) 498 00:23:16,862 --> 00:23:18,630 My mom talked to his mom 499 00:23:18,632 --> 00:23:21,697 and she said that the rehearsal is at the Deer Creek Country Club. 500 00:23:21,699 --> 00:23:23,200 - Deer Creek. - There it is. 501 00:23:23,202 --> 00:23:25,168 Anyways, the name is Louis Seibert. That's S-E-I... 502 00:23:25,170 --> 00:23:27,937 - I'll remember that. Thank you. - She's got great memory. 503 00:23:27,939 --> 00:23:29,372 Big Lou, thank you, buddy. 504 00:23:29,374 --> 00:23:31,254 - CHILLI: Yeah, you bet. - Thank you, thank you. 505 00:23:32,743 --> 00:23:34,242 ANNA: Oh, hello, Miss Rollins? 506 00:23:34,244 --> 00:23:36,711 This is Margaret from the Deer Creek Country Club. 507 00:23:36,713 --> 00:23:38,346 I'm just calling to let you know, 508 00:23:38,348 --> 00:23:40,248 we won't be able to refund your deposit 509 00:23:40,250 --> 00:23:42,450 since you canceled the rehearsal on such short notice. 510 00:23:42,452 --> 00:23:44,519 SUSAN: What? Oh, my God. JERRY: I think you have a mistake here. 511 00:23:44,521 --> 00:23:46,754 SUSAN: We didn't cancel the reception. 512 00:23:46,756 --> 00:23:48,955 I'm afraid we have unfortunately booked 513 00:23:48,957 --> 00:23:51,024 something else in that time slot now. 514 00:23:51,026 --> 00:23:53,527 - A quinceanera. - A quinceanera. 515 00:23:53,529 --> 00:23:55,595 SUSAN: A what? JERRY: The fuck's a quinceanera? 516 00:23:55,597 --> 00:23:57,197 A celebration of womanhood. 517 00:23:57,199 --> 00:23:58,931 It's a celebration of womanhood. 518 00:23:58,933 --> 00:24:00,732 JERRY: This is bullshit. SUSAN: Oh, my God! 519 00:24:00,734 --> 00:24:02,136 We're coming to the club right now. 520 00:24:08,808 --> 00:24:11,277 (TIRES SCREECH) 521 00:24:34,265 --> 00:24:36,032 Hello? 522 00:24:38,802 --> 00:24:40,270 Hello? 523 00:24:44,307 --> 00:24:45,442 Hello, boys. 524 00:24:47,243 --> 00:24:48,712 Who is it? 525 00:24:49,345 --> 00:24:51,078 I am. 526 00:24:51,080 --> 00:24:52,847 JERRY: Callahan approaches from the left. 527 00:24:55,183 --> 00:24:56,985 Engage no contact protocol. 528 00:24:58,920 --> 00:25:01,022 No hand shall touch my body. 529 00:25:04,858 --> 00:25:06,659 (GRUNTS) 530 00:25:06,661 --> 00:25:09,594 Mental note. Bob slapped Hoagie with his hand. 531 00:25:09,596 --> 00:25:11,465 Hoagie is now it. 532 00:25:14,934 --> 00:25:19,203 Chilli. He dives at me in a pussy-like fashion. 533 00:25:19,205 --> 00:25:21,374 Poor planning. Poor execution. 534 00:25:22,475 --> 00:25:24,110 (GRUNTS) 535 00:25:24,809 --> 00:25:26,775 Piece of cake. 536 00:25:26,777 --> 00:25:28,544 I head for the door to escape. 537 00:25:28,546 --> 00:25:30,413 Sable blocks it. 538 00:25:30,415 --> 00:25:31,915 It's showtime. 539 00:25:34,151 --> 00:25:37,321 Hoagie has tagged Sable. He is now fair game. 540 00:25:39,723 --> 00:25:40,990 I speedbag him. 541 00:25:44,394 --> 00:25:45,395 (GRUNTS) 542 00:25:54,569 --> 00:25:55,635 (GROANS) 543 00:25:55,637 --> 00:25:57,002 (LAUGHS CUNNINGLY) 544 00:25:57,004 --> 00:25:58,939 Jerry! You okay? 545 00:26:00,141 --> 00:26:02,176 Oh, I've never been better. 546 00:26:02,910 --> 00:26:04,911 Welcome home, boys! 547 00:26:06,647 --> 00:26:07,945 (JERRY LAUGHS) 548 00:26:07,947 --> 00:26:09,247 Hey, who's this with ya? 549 00:26:09,249 --> 00:26:11,916 Oh, this is Rebecca. She's a reporter. 550 00:26:11,918 --> 00:26:13,551 We're gonna be famous. 551 00:26:13,553 --> 00:26:16,019 Did they mention that I haven't been tagged in 30 years 552 00:26:16,021 --> 00:26:17,588 'cause they suck at this game? 553 00:26:17,590 --> 00:26:19,724 - Extensively. - Never been tagged. Just saying. 554 00:26:19,726 --> 00:26:22,192 BOB: I can't believe you would rather not invite your closest friends 555 00:26:22,194 --> 00:26:23,959 to your wedding, than risk getting tagged. 556 00:26:23,961 --> 00:26:27,096 Hey, Bob, look, you're here, ain't ya? Right? I knew you'd come. 557 00:26:27,098 --> 00:26:29,098 SUSAN: Cookie, the valet needs the keys. 558 00:26:29,101 --> 00:26:30,566 Hi, baby. Come here, honey. Come here. 559 00:26:30,568 --> 00:26:32,834 We didn't invite you. 560 00:26:32,836 --> 00:26:34,269 - Yeah. Sorry. - Guys. 561 00:26:34,271 --> 00:26:36,905 This is Susan, my soon-to-be-bride. 562 00:26:36,907 --> 00:26:39,007 - Hi. Nice to meet you, Susan. - Hey. 563 00:26:39,009 --> 00:26:40,375 - Hi. - She'll explain why. 564 00:26:40,377 --> 00:26:42,711 It's just... I know it sounds really crazy. 565 00:26:42,713 --> 00:26:46,280 Everyone on my mother's side have had May weddings 566 00:26:46,282 --> 00:26:49,183 and I didn't want my wedding ruined over... 567 00:26:49,185 --> 00:26:52,786 I mean, I swear, I don't wanna be that woman 568 00:26:52,788 --> 00:26:57,357 but I do feel like that woman is kind of understandable in this situation. 569 00:26:57,359 --> 00:26:59,325 Don't make excuses, baby. You don't have to. Come on. 570 00:26:59,327 --> 00:27:00,526 Look, I already broke a fucking window. 571 00:27:00,528 --> 00:27:02,262 What are we gonna do here, guys? 572 00:27:03,997 --> 00:27:05,897 - Amendment. - Amendment. 573 00:27:05,899 --> 00:27:09,967 - Amendment. All right. Get in here. - Truce. Truce, bitches. 574 00:27:09,969 --> 00:27:12,970 No tag at the rehearsal. No tag at the luncheon. 575 00:27:12,972 --> 00:27:17,006 No tag at the dinner, and do not even mention tag at the ceremony. 576 00:27:17,008 --> 00:27:19,777 HOGAN: Ceremony. 577 00:27:19,779 --> 00:27:20,877 - We got it. - Thank you. 578 00:27:20,879 --> 00:27:22,245 No way, I'm not signing this. 579 00:27:22,247 --> 00:27:23,781 You're officially re-not invited, how's that? 580 00:27:23,783 --> 00:27:26,282 Okay, then fine. I'll crash your fucking wedding, 581 00:27:26,284 --> 00:27:28,118 and I'll tag you as you try to kiss your bride. 582 00:27:28,120 --> 00:27:29,486 Hey, hey, hey. 583 00:27:29,488 --> 00:27:31,553 Look, Susan. You seem like a lovely person, 584 00:27:31,555 --> 00:27:33,889 and I'm sure this will all be fine. 585 00:27:33,891 --> 00:27:37,093 We just need to formalize it, something we've been doing a long time, and, uh... 586 00:27:37,695 --> 00:27:38,895 Sign it. 587 00:27:40,964 --> 00:27:42,797 What the... 588 00:27:42,799 --> 00:27:44,532 No mention of tag is... 589 00:27:44,534 --> 00:27:46,801 - Ridiculous. - It's unreasonable. 590 00:27:46,803 --> 00:27:48,368 Thank you, guys. 591 00:27:48,370 --> 00:27:49,672 Here. 592 00:27:50,639 --> 00:27:52,641 All right, boys. 593 00:27:55,344 --> 00:27:56,942 - All right. - So good to see you, Bob. 594 00:27:56,944 --> 00:27:58,911 You know what? Don't touch me, when we're on a truce. 595 00:27:58,913 --> 00:28:00,946 - It's very patronizing. - Yeah, it's a little weird for me, too. 596 00:28:00,948 --> 00:28:03,014 Well, it was really nice meeting everyone 597 00:28:03,016 --> 00:28:06,852 and I look forward to getting to know you guys better this weekend. 598 00:28:06,854 --> 00:28:09,988 I don't know, I've just dreamt about this day my whole life, so... 599 00:28:09,990 --> 00:28:12,490 - Congrats, Susan. We're happy for ya. - It's gonna be great. 600 00:28:12,492 --> 00:28:14,759 - Thank you. - It's really good to see you, boys. 601 00:28:14,761 --> 00:28:16,460 Cheers. 602 00:28:16,462 --> 00:28:17,862 (BLOWS RASPBERRY) 603 00:28:17,864 --> 00:28:19,331 Six tequilas, please. 604 00:28:22,701 --> 00:28:24,335 - To Jerry. - Wait. 605 00:28:27,138 --> 00:28:30,005 So, boys, how did it go? 606 00:28:30,007 --> 00:28:31,239 - Not good. - So bad. 607 00:28:31,241 --> 00:28:32,775 So, so bad. (CHUCKLES) 608 00:28:32,777 --> 00:28:35,277 Did you guys just sign away your chance to tag him? 609 00:28:35,279 --> 00:28:40,282 Yeah, but we're still okay, because non-wedding times are fair game. 610 00:28:40,284 --> 00:28:41,650 We just gotta find the right window. 611 00:28:41,652 --> 00:28:43,718 - What happened? - He kicked our ass. 612 00:28:43,720 --> 00:28:45,352 - Well, technically, he punched my ass. - BOB: Punched your ass. 613 00:28:45,354 --> 00:28:46,854 - Repeatedly. - Hard. 614 00:28:46,856 --> 00:28:48,955 Well, according to the bylaws, that is highly illegal. 615 00:28:48,957 --> 00:28:50,891 Except he didn't hit my asshole 616 00:28:50,893 --> 00:28:52,358 so it's legal. 617 00:28:52,360 --> 00:28:54,360 Okay, what are you talking about? 618 00:28:54,362 --> 00:28:55,528 Here. 619 00:28:55,530 --> 00:28:57,130 Page... 620 00:28:57,132 --> 00:28:59,331 Yes! Right there. 621 00:28:59,333 --> 00:29:01,233 No asshole punching. 622 00:29:01,235 --> 00:29:06,371 Why would you play a game where you're constantly punched in the ass? 623 00:29:06,373 --> 00:29:08,674 - Fair question, Rebecca. - Beep. I'll take this. 624 00:29:08,676 --> 00:29:12,443 Tag is more than a game. It's a way of life. 625 00:29:12,445 --> 00:29:13,678 No, buddy. 626 00:29:13,680 --> 00:29:16,113 That's exactly right. You nailed it. 627 00:29:16,115 --> 00:29:17,981 Facial disgracial. 628 00:29:17,983 --> 00:29:20,117 Okay, Lou, thank you. 629 00:29:20,119 --> 00:29:21,651 We'll take it from here. 630 00:29:21,653 --> 00:29:23,353 But he's exactly right. 631 00:29:23,355 --> 00:29:25,120 It's so much more than a game. 632 00:29:25,122 --> 00:29:27,990 Say I'm LeVar Burton. Say I'm LeVar Burton. 633 00:29:27,992 --> 00:29:30,226 HOGAN: I was there when Sable lost his virginity. 634 00:29:30,228 --> 00:29:32,661 God damn it, Hoagie! I was almost finished! 635 00:29:32,663 --> 00:29:34,263 Get over here! 636 00:29:34,265 --> 00:29:36,586 And Callahan was there when Anna and I had our first child. 637 00:29:37,434 --> 00:29:39,334 Congratulations, buddy. You're it. 638 00:29:39,336 --> 00:29:41,002 Doing great, Anna. 639 00:29:41,004 --> 00:29:43,471 And all the guys were there for me when my father died. 640 00:29:43,473 --> 00:29:47,108 I think your dad would have really wanted you to be... 641 00:29:47,110 --> 00:29:48,575 Dead. 642 00:29:48,577 --> 00:29:50,344 In this moment. 643 00:29:50,346 --> 00:29:52,346 (ALL CHUCKLING) 644 00:29:52,348 --> 00:29:55,916 This game, it's given us a reason to be in each other's lives all these years. 645 00:29:55,918 --> 00:29:59,852 The last it from each season will live in shame for one year. 646 00:29:59,854 --> 00:30:01,220 So what happens if you lose? 647 00:30:01,222 --> 00:30:02,688 - You lose. - You're it. 648 00:30:02,690 --> 00:30:04,556 - What does the winner get? - There are no winners. 649 00:30:04,558 --> 00:30:05,490 Just not losers. 650 00:30:05,492 --> 00:30:07,158 Listen, I would love to sit here 651 00:30:07,160 --> 00:30:09,861 and deconstruct the spirit of competition with everyone, 652 00:30:09,863 --> 00:30:11,363 but Jerry's still on the loose 653 00:30:11,365 --> 00:30:12,998 and we got to get him where it hurts. 654 00:30:13,000 --> 00:30:15,165 - Not in the asshole. - Not in the asshole. Obviously. 655 00:30:15,167 --> 00:30:16,767 Oh! Guys, let's go to his house. 656 00:30:16,769 --> 00:30:18,802 He wouldn't be at his house. It's too obvious. 657 00:30:18,804 --> 00:30:21,204 Yeah, it's too obvious, so he's gonna be there. This is Jerry. 658 00:30:21,206 --> 00:30:25,208 Maybe it's so obvious that it's not obvious that he will be there. 659 00:30:25,210 --> 00:30:26,943 - So he's at the house. - He's not gonna be there. 660 00:30:26,945 --> 00:30:30,245 If he's there, then it'll be obvious for him to be there 661 00:30:30,247 --> 00:30:32,381 so he wouldn't be there because he would think 662 00:30:32,383 --> 00:30:34,951 that we would automatically come there, obviously. 663 00:30:34,953 --> 00:30:37,619 - What? - You know what? One way to find out. 664 00:30:37,621 --> 00:30:39,821 - Let's go. - It'll be obvious to... 665 00:30:39,823 --> 00:30:41,324 HOGAN: Come on! 666 00:30:58,607 --> 00:31:00,241 It's locked. 667 00:31:06,847 --> 00:31:08,613 What do you see? 668 00:31:08,615 --> 00:31:10,081 It's nice. 669 00:31:10,083 --> 00:31:12,951 There's lot of attention to detail but not too overdone. 670 00:31:12,953 --> 00:31:15,689 Well, can you just unlock it? 671 00:31:17,423 --> 00:31:18,856 REBECCA: This is breaking and entering. 672 00:31:18,858 --> 00:31:21,360 BOB: No, it doesn't count if you know the person. 673 00:31:22,328 --> 00:31:24,661 (WHISPERS) That is not true. 674 00:31:24,663 --> 00:31:27,699 "Did you guys really think I would be home?" 675 00:31:30,034 --> 00:31:31,467 Feels like a trap. 676 00:31:31,469 --> 00:31:33,102 All right, let's split up, we'll cover more ground. 677 00:31:33,104 --> 00:31:35,604 - No, that's a terrible idea. - SABLE: He'll never expect it. 678 00:31:35,606 --> 00:31:37,374 Now help me out of the door, please. 679 00:31:40,677 --> 00:31:43,678 Jerry! 680 00:31:43,680 --> 00:31:45,713 (WHISPERS) He's gotta be here. 681 00:31:45,715 --> 00:31:47,381 (CENSOR BEEPS) 682 00:31:47,383 --> 00:31:49,216 Have you ever even been here before? 683 00:31:49,218 --> 00:31:51,319 (SABLE SHUSHES) 684 00:31:56,758 --> 00:31:58,324 Ohh! 685 00:31:58,326 --> 00:32:00,827 Deviled eggs. 686 00:32:00,829 --> 00:32:03,330 Delicious. These go fast. 687 00:32:10,336 --> 00:32:12,305 SABLE: What the fuck? 688 00:32:12,705 --> 00:32:14,240 Oh, man. 689 00:32:15,110 --> 00:32:16,774 Whoa. 690 00:32:16,776 --> 00:32:18,776 Jerry got chloroform? 691 00:32:18,778 --> 00:32:22,746 What the fuck? He has stepped it up. 692 00:32:22,748 --> 00:32:26,950 Aerial maps of the city. Bunch of blueprints. 693 00:32:26,952 --> 00:32:30,152 Five different hats? Wow. 694 00:32:30,154 --> 00:32:32,556 People change. 695 00:32:36,994 --> 00:32:38,561 (BEEP) 696 00:32:40,263 --> 00:32:41,765 Did you... 697 00:32:42,499 --> 00:32:43,900 I didn't do anything. 698 00:32:47,104 --> 00:32:49,605 (CELL PHONE RINGING) 699 00:32:52,875 --> 00:32:56,710 Who is that scampering around my house? 700 00:32:56,712 --> 00:33:00,212 Hello, boys, did you really think I'd go home? 701 00:33:00,214 --> 00:33:01,480 - You idiots. - I knew it. 702 00:33:01,482 --> 00:33:03,816 - It's too obvious. - Yep. 703 00:33:03,818 --> 00:33:05,383 I mean, that's just a lucky guess. 704 00:33:05,385 --> 00:33:06,618 Okay, Jerry, where are you? 705 00:33:06,620 --> 00:33:08,054 You know, seeing you guys tonight 706 00:33:08,056 --> 00:33:10,722 made me wanna take a walk down memory lane. 707 00:33:10,724 --> 00:33:12,123 - Ta-da! - Is that your... 708 00:33:12,125 --> 00:33:13,858 That's my bedroom. You're at my parents' house. 709 00:33:13,860 --> 00:33:15,426 Why are you at my parents' house? 710 00:33:15,428 --> 00:33:16,527 It's a little smaller than I remember. 711 00:33:16,529 --> 00:33:18,129 You broke into my house! 712 00:33:18,131 --> 00:33:19,596 We broke into his house. 713 00:33:19,598 --> 00:33:20,831 Yeah, we broke into your house. 714 00:33:20,833 --> 00:33:22,766 Hey, hey! Look who I found, Hoag. 715 00:33:22,768 --> 00:33:25,234 Hoag! Hoagie, I miss you so much! 716 00:33:25,236 --> 00:33:27,236 What are you doing with Mr. Stubbles? 717 00:33:27,238 --> 00:33:29,439 This little guy got you through a lot of troubles in life, didn't he? 718 00:33:29,441 --> 00:33:30,873 All right, Jerry. 719 00:33:30,875 --> 00:33:32,607 (JERRY LAUGHS) 720 00:33:32,609 --> 00:33:34,242 Let's see where this one goes. 721 00:33:34,244 --> 00:33:37,113 Mr. Stubbles has something to say. What was that? 722 00:33:37,115 --> 00:33:39,948 He says that his skin's very dry. It needs to be moisturized. 723 00:33:39,950 --> 00:33:43,386 Jerry, put down Mr. Stubbles. So help me God. 724 00:33:44,487 --> 00:33:46,320 What's happening here? 725 00:33:46,322 --> 00:33:48,254 I think he's about to masturbate in Hoagie's childhood bedroom. 726 00:33:48,256 --> 00:33:50,758 Oh, no. 727 00:33:50,760 --> 00:33:52,225 It's the ultimate act of dominance. 728 00:33:52,227 --> 00:33:54,994 I'm gonna stay here until you come. 729 00:33:54,996 --> 00:33:56,531 Unless I come first. 730 00:33:58,101 --> 00:33:59,500 You sly dog. 731 00:34:01,635 --> 00:34:03,902 - HOGAN: Go! Go! Go! - Did you get him? 732 00:34:03,904 --> 00:34:05,804 - HOGAN: Start the car! - Started it. I started it. 733 00:34:05,806 --> 00:34:07,472 Everybody put their seat belts on. 734 00:34:07,474 --> 00:34:08,874 Go! Go! Go! 735 00:34:08,876 --> 00:34:10,110 Everybody in. 736 00:34:10,112 --> 00:34:11,978 ANNA: Is everybody in? 737 00:34:15,915 --> 00:34:18,983 This is gonna be nice and smooth, Mr. Stubbies. 738 00:34:18,985 --> 00:34:20,817 This isn't gonna hurt whatsoever. 739 00:34:20,819 --> 00:34:23,286 Stay put. We're coming for you. We're coming for you. 740 00:34:23,288 --> 00:34:26,690 (HIGH-PITCHED) Yeah, but hurry up! Daddy, hurry up! 741 00:34:26,692 --> 00:34:28,624 Mr. Stubbles is not into you. He can't be into you. 742 00:34:28,626 --> 00:34:30,993 He's not a sexual being, okay? So put him down! 743 00:34:30,995 --> 00:34:33,330 (JERRY LAUGHS) 744 00:34:37,768 --> 00:34:39,036 Hey, team. 745 00:34:45,708 --> 00:34:49,210 Jerry, how are you in my room right now? 746 00:34:49,212 --> 00:34:50,878 We're all in my room. 747 00:34:50,880 --> 00:34:54,413 No, of course I'm not there. I'm here. In my basement. 748 00:34:54,415 --> 00:34:55,715 Where are you guys? 749 00:34:55,717 --> 00:34:57,917 HOGAN: Are you fucking kidding me? 750 00:34:57,919 --> 00:35:00,953 He built a replica of your bedroom in his basement? 751 00:35:00,955 --> 00:35:02,523 Good night, gentlemen. 752 00:35:10,264 --> 00:35:12,164 (SIGHS) 753 00:35:12,166 --> 00:35:13,766 Amateurs. 754 00:35:14,867 --> 00:35:16,534 Let's begin. Um... 755 00:35:16,536 --> 00:35:18,803 So, kind of a rough start. 756 00:35:18,805 --> 00:35:20,470 That was pretty standard, actually. 757 00:35:20,472 --> 00:35:22,006 Yeah, Jerry's extreme. 758 00:35:22,008 --> 00:35:24,908 The masturbation was fake, but the pleasure was real. 759 00:35:24,910 --> 00:35:27,977 I mean, I've said it before, but we're not gonna tag him because, 760 00:35:27,979 --> 00:35:30,379 you know, he's better at tag than us. 761 00:35:30,381 --> 00:35:32,215 I'm obviously going to be the one that tags Jerry. 762 00:35:32,217 --> 00:35:36,317 I've been working with this Japanese guy. Sensei. 763 00:35:36,319 --> 00:35:38,987 He knows zero karate. 764 00:35:38,989 --> 00:35:41,424 He doesn't know karate. He's claiming to know karate? 765 00:35:43,326 --> 00:35:45,593 He doesn't know karate. I don't think he knows karate. 766 00:35:45,595 --> 00:35:48,296 Well, then, what does he call it when I roundhouse kicked him in 10th grade? 767 00:35:48,298 --> 00:35:51,098 Callahan and Chilli did get in a huge fight sophomore year of high school 768 00:35:51,101 --> 00:35:55,969 and Callahan did... Just tag Chilli with a beautiful roundhouse kick. 769 00:35:55,971 --> 00:35:58,941 But in Chilli's defense, when Callahan kicked him... 770 00:36:00,008 --> 00:36:01,006 He shit in his pants! 771 00:36:01,008 --> 00:36:03,142 Yeah, okay, that never happened. 772 00:36:03,144 --> 00:36:06,544 And it's nice to actually get an opportunity to address it directly. 773 00:36:06,546 --> 00:36:07,847 By all means. I'm all ears. 774 00:36:07,849 --> 00:36:11,116 I mean, I was very sweaty. It was warm out. 775 00:36:11,118 --> 00:36:15,153 Well, the sweaty ass defense? He's been banging that drum for years. 776 00:36:15,155 --> 00:36:17,421 Hottest October on record, if I recall. Look it up. 777 00:36:17,423 --> 00:36:19,190 Wall Street Journal, you have fact checkers 778 00:36:19,192 --> 00:36:22,192 - for this exact scenario, right? - Mmm-hmm. Yeah. 779 00:36:22,194 --> 00:36:24,594 While you're at it, can you have the fact checkers look into 780 00:36:24,596 --> 00:36:26,230 if The Maury Povich Show is staged? 781 00:36:26,232 --> 00:36:29,699 'Cause it feels staged but he swears it's not staged. 782 00:36:29,701 --> 00:36:33,169 But they do the exact same thing every time. 783 00:36:33,171 --> 00:36:34,571 What? 784 00:36:39,110 --> 00:36:41,544 - (CANS CLATTER) - (SIGHS) 785 00:36:47,750 --> 00:36:49,350 (SNORING) 786 00:36:49,352 --> 00:36:52,922 (WHISPERS) Sable, I know where Jerry's gonna be. I need the tag. 787 00:36:54,923 --> 00:36:56,091 Okay. 788 00:36:57,225 --> 00:37:00,459 Yeah. Just picked up the tux. 789 00:37:00,461 --> 00:37:02,895 All right, see you soon, babe. 790 00:37:02,897 --> 00:37:05,331 Hey, Rob, how're you doing, bud? Good to see you. 791 00:37:05,333 --> 00:37:06,932 You, too, man. 792 00:37:06,934 --> 00:37:08,800 Gloria, ma'am. 793 00:37:08,802 --> 00:37:10,701 - BOY: My balloon! - Whoa! 794 00:37:10,703 --> 00:37:12,837 Hey. This must be yours, buddy. 795 00:37:12,839 --> 00:37:14,405 - Thanks, mister. - Look at that. 796 00:37:14,407 --> 00:37:16,108 You gonna eat that whole thing? 797 00:37:16,110 --> 00:37:18,575 You know what? You should consider some alternative snacks. 798 00:37:18,577 --> 00:37:20,445 Keeping fitness fun, buddy. 799 00:37:23,682 --> 00:37:25,315 (INDISTINCT ANNOUNCEMENT OVER PA) 800 00:37:25,317 --> 00:37:26,785 (SQUEAKING) 801 00:37:28,086 --> 00:37:29,152 Oh! 802 00:37:29,154 --> 00:37:31,489 Excuse me, ma'am. You dropped your... 803 00:37:33,724 --> 00:37:35,624 JERRY: Men's athletic crossover-style boot 804 00:37:35,626 --> 00:37:36,992 size nine and a half. 805 00:37:36,994 --> 00:37:39,994 Suggests a man that is neither fashionable 806 00:37:39,996 --> 00:37:41,131 nor athletic. 807 00:37:41,932 --> 00:37:43,066 Hoagie. 808 00:37:52,675 --> 00:37:54,573 Little does Hoagie know, 809 00:37:54,575 --> 00:37:57,175 I've been teaching a women's self-defense boot camp for six years. 810 00:37:57,745 --> 00:37:59,112 First defense 101. 811 00:37:59,114 --> 00:38:00,515 Class is in session. 812 00:38:01,849 --> 00:38:03,785 (GRUNTS) 813 00:38:10,991 --> 00:38:12,826 Holy shit! 814 00:38:16,729 --> 00:38:18,097 (HOGAN GRUNTS) 815 00:38:29,174 --> 00:38:30,541 (SCREAMS) 816 00:38:42,485 --> 00:38:44,254 (HOGAN YELLS) 817 00:38:52,095 --> 00:38:53,626 - You're done, Hoagie. - Never! 818 00:38:53,628 --> 00:38:54,894 You're done. 819 00:38:54,896 --> 00:38:55,996 Never! 820 00:38:55,998 --> 00:38:57,697 (GROWLS) 821 00:38:57,699 --> 00:38:59,065 All right, I'm done. 822 00:38:59,067 --> 00:39:00,133 (JERRY LAUGHS) 823 00:39:00,135 --> 00:39:01,633 Dude, you look amazing, by the way. 824 00:39:01,635 --> 00:39:03,035 You've really upped your game! 825 00:39:03,037 --> 00:39:04,737 How'd you know I was gonna be here? 826 00:39:04,739 --> 00:39:07,039 A-ha! Surprised you, right? 827 00:39:07,041 --> 00:39:08,907 I saw the pick-up ticket for your tailor 828 00:39:08,909 --> 00:39:10,877 when we broke into your house the other night. 829 00:39:13,046 --> 00:39:15,713 - Impressive. - I'm taking you down, Jerry. 830 00:39:15,715 --> 00:39:17,348 Well, we both know that's never gonna happen. 831 00:39:17,350 --> 00:39:19,484 Excuse me, excuse me. Coming through. Excuse me. 832 00:39:19,486 --> 00:39:22,119 Oh, boy. Cavalry's coming in. 833 00:39:22,121 --> 00:39:23,787 Hey, Jerry. 834 00:39:23,789 --> 00:39:25,288 This old lady bothering you? 835 00:39:25,290 --> 00:39:27,823 I'm good, Marvin. Thanks, man. Everything's all right. 836 00:39:27,825 --> 00:39:29,292 It's just a friend of mine. 837 00:39:29,294 --> 00:39:30,760 Hey, it's good to see you. Looking good, brother. 838 00:39:30,762 --> 00:39:32,797 - My man. - Yeah, staying in shape. 839 00:39:34,132 --> 00:39:36,165 What the fuck? 840 00:39:36,167 --> 00:39:38,367 All right, well, maybe I'll call the police. All right? 841 00:39:38,369 --> 00:39:40,735 This is assault. You willing to go to jail for this? 842 00:39:40,737 --> 00:39:42,670 You're goddamn right, I am. 843 00:39:42,672 --> 00:39:48,075 Okay, then, maybe I will cause a big scene and get arrested also. 844 00:39:48,077 --> 00:39:51,145 Then, once we both get to jail, I'll just... 845 00:39:51,147 --> 00:39:52,745 What? Bribe a guard? 846 00:39:52,747 --> 00:39:54,781 Be put in my cell? I figured you'd say that. It's pretty obvious. 847 00:39:54,783 --> 00:39:57,117 Hoag, you have to realize that's gonna take hours, 848 00:39:57,119 --> 00:39:59,485 during which time I'll have fashioned a shiv 849 00:39:59,487 --> 00:40:02,021 from my toothbrush and used it to murder my cellmate. 850 00:40:02,023 --> 00:40:03,655 You'd just shiv your cellmate? 851 00:40:03,657 --> 00:40:05,791 Don't worry, he's a bad person who's done terrible things. 852 00:40:05,793 --> 00:40:07,427 So justice is served. 853 00:40:07,429 --> 00:40:09,394 - Okay. - It gets me thrown in solitary confinement, 854 00:40:09,396 --> 00:40:13,831 which is what I want. Out of reach. Completely untaggable. 855 00:40:13,833 --> 00:40:15,269 Damn, you have thought this through. 856 00:40:16,702 --> 00:40:18,235 Pretty good, right? 857 00:40:18,237 --> 00:40:20,504 Look, understand two things, Hoagie. 858 00:40:20,506 --> 00:40:22,972 First, you're not gonna screw up this wedding. Okay? 859 00:40:22,974 --> 00:40:25,875 And secondly, I will never let you tag me. 860 00:40:25,877 --> 00:40:28,344 You're gonna die before that ever happens. You understand that, right? 861 00:40:28,346 --> 00:40:32,315 I don't fear death, Jerry. And I'm not gonna give this up. 862 00:40:32,317 --> 00:40:33,715 Till I die. 863 00:40:33,717 --> 00:40:36,287 Okay. Good luck. 864 00:40:45,594 --> 00:40:47,663 See you at the rehearsal, Jerry. 865 00:40:50,599 --> 00:40:53,133 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 866 00:40:53,135 --> 00:40:54,434 (HOGAN GRUNTS) 867 00:40:54,436 --> 00:40:56,336 These hushpuppies are insane. 868 00:40:56,338 --> 00:40:58,704 All right, listen. T-minus 34 minutes 869 00:40:58,706 --> 00:41:01,874 until this rehearsal dinner is over, and Jerry's fair game. 870 00:41:01,876 --> 00:41:03,309 There's four of us, there's four exits. 871 00:41:03,311 --> 00:41:04,676 Let's fan out and trap this rat. 872 00:41:04,678 --> 00:41:06,212 Okay? Synchronize your watches. 873 00:41:06,214 --> 00:41:08,280 - I don't know how to do that. - I don't wear a watch. 874 00:41:08,282 --> 00:41:09,749 Time is a construct. 875 00:41:10,817 --> 00:41:12,984 Okay, uh... 5:00. 876 00:41:12,986 --> 00:41:14,618 Could have said that at the beginning. 877 00:41:14,620 --> 00:41:16,087 Well, we said it now. 878 00:41:16,089 --> 00:41:19,123 - 5:00, how hard is that? - 5:00, yeah, it's easy. 879 00:41:19,125 --> 00:41:20,791 - Hi, guys. How are you? - How are ya? 880 00:41:20,793 --> 00:41:22,658 Sorry about the other night. 881 00:41:22,660 --> 00:41:24,294 Yeah, that wasn't cool. 882 00:41:24,296 --> 00:41:26,230 No. I mean, listen, I know it's not just you guys. 883 00:41:26,232 --> 00:41:28,264 I mean, Jerry's worse than all of you. 884 00:41:28,266 --> 00:41:30,066 He's very competitive. 885 00:41:30,068 --> 00:41:32,001 When we were kids, we had a contest to see 886 00:41:32,003 --> 00:41:34,636 who could hold their breath for the longest underwater. 887 00:41:34,638 --> 00:41:36,071 He almost died. 888 00:41:36,073 --> 00:41:38,673 He won, but at what cost? Really? 889 00:41:38,675 --> 00:41:42,645 I hope he's this competitive when it comes to being a father. 890 00:41:44,214 --> 00:41:45,880 Are you pregnant? 891 00:41:45,882 --> 00:41:48,082 - Really? - Yeah, that's why the Shirley Temple. 892 00:41:48,084 --> 00:41:49,583 - Oh, my gosh! - I know. 893 00:41:49,585 --> 00:41:51,085 - Here, cheers! - Congratulations, that's great! 894 00:41:51,087 --> 00:41:52,553 - Cheers, thank you! - Oh, my gosh! 895 00:41:52,555 --> 00:41:54,053 - That's such good news. - Yeah. 896 00:41:54,055 --> 00:41:55,523 - We're not telling that many people. - Okay. 897 00:41:55,525 --> 00:41:57,924 Listen, I know it's gonna get a little wacky 898 00:41:57,926 --> 00:42:00,360 - over the next couple of days with you guys. - Sure, the fuck is... 899 00:42:00,362 --> 00:42:01,429 Okay? 900 00:42:02,464 --> 00:42:04,330 Just don't go too far. 901 00:42:04,332 --> 00:42:07,466 And, go out there and play golf. It's amazing. Do something fun. 902 00:42:07,468 --> 00:42:09,834 - Okay? Bye, guys. - See ya. 903 00:42:09,836 --> 00:42:12,337 I like her. She has a beautiful personality. 904 00:42:12,339 --> 00:42:14,238 Very effervescent. Good energy. 905 00:42:14,240 --> 00:42:16,007 Don't believe a word she fucking says. 906 00:42:16,009 --> 00:42:17,674 She's a hired hand. She's an actress. 907 00:42:17,676 --> 00:42:19,910 - What? - I mean, look at this son of a bitch. 908 00:42:19,912 --> 00:42:22,145 - This is Colonel Sanders in the flesh. - That's, like, her uncle. 909 00:42:22,147 --> 00:42:24,047 - It's the fucking Truman Show. - Will you stop? 910 00:42:24,049 --> 00:42:26,183 The whole thing. Jerry set it up. I guarantee it. 911 00:42:26,185 --> 00:42:28,318 Every single person here has been hired. 912 00:42:28,320 --> 00:42:29,752 You have gotta calm down. 913 00:42:29,754 --> 00:42:33,322 Hi. Nice to meet you. I'm his wife. 914 00:42:33,324 --> 00:42:36,227 (STAMMERS) Jerry, is that Cheryl Deakins? 915 00:42:41,632 --> 00:42:43,665 Ah! Yeah. Good. Hey! 916 00:42:43,667 --> 00:42:45,967 - You invited her? - Yeah, of course. 917 00:42:45,969 --> 00:42:48,702 What? We're all old friends. 918 00:42:48,704 --> 00:42:50,372 - Makes sense. - I'm not buying this. 919 00:42:54,343 --> 00:42:55,475 Is that, uh... 920 00:42:55,477 --> 00:42:56,842 BOB: Cheryl Deakins. 921 00:42:56,844 --> 00:42:59,613 - You know she was coming, Bob? - I did not. 922 00:42:59,615 --> 00:43:01,714 - I didn't either. - She looks good. 923 00:43:01,716 --> 00:43:03,351 - Great. She always does. - Yeah. 924 00:43:03,952 --> 00:43:05,451 CHILLI: Wow! 925 00:43:05,453 --> 00:43:08,053 Who is Cheryl Deakins? 926 00:43:08,055 --> 00:43:10,622 Is she like the Yoko or something? 927 00:43:10,624 --> 00:43:12,991 I don't get that reference but she's someone 928 00:43:12,993 --> 00:43:15,393 whose presence causes strain on our group. 929 00:43:15,395 --> 00:43:18,929 We've known her since grade school. 930 00:43:18,931 --> 00:43:23,101 SABLE: She was the first girl that Chilli and Callahan had a crush on. 931 00:43:23,103 --> 00:43:26,537 When we were kids, Cheryl was into Chilli. 932 00:43:26,539 --> 00:43:28,905 Much to Callahan's chagrin. 933 00:43:28,907 --> 00:43:30,673 But young love is unpredictable. 934 00:43:30,675 --> 00:43:34,009 Later that same year, she decided she was into Callahan. 935 00:43:34,011 --> 00:43:36,945 Much to Chilli's chagrin. 936 00:43:36,947 --> 00:43:40,251 But she always had a place in her heart for Chilli. 937 00:43:49,058 --> 00:43:50,591 And this went on for decades. 938 00:43:50,593 --> 00:43:53,362 And all of a sudden, she just married an orthodontist. 939 00:43:54,763 --> 00:43:56,329 They get all the chicks. 940 00:43:56,331 --> 00:43:57,497 What? 941 00:43:57,499 --> 00:43:59,266 How long has it been since you've seen her? 942 00:43:59,268 --> 00:44:01,135 About 10 years for me. How 'bout you? 943 00:44:01,902 --> 00:44:04,069 Same, I guess. 944 00:44:04,071 --> 00:44:05,938 BOB: Been a while. CHILLI: Sure has. 945 00:44:05,940 --> 00:44:07,839 You sneaky trickster. 946 00:44:07,841 --> 00:44:10,476 She looks amazing, and you know it. Think about this. 947 00:44:10,478 --> 00:44:14,078 What if Cheryl ended up getting back together with our boy? 948 00:44:14,080 --> 00:44:15,713 - Chilli? - Callahan? 949 00:44:15,715 --> 00:44:17,048 Obviously. 950 00:44:17,050 --> 00:44:18,449 - Wait. What? - Duh. 951 00:44:18,451 --> 00:44:20,317 - Did you say Chilli? - You're Team Callahan? 952 00:44:20,319 --> 00:44:22,152 - Yeah! - We've been married all this time and you think 953 00:44:22,154 --> 00:44:23,887 she should end up with Callahan? 954 00:44:23,889 --> 00:44:25,821 Of course. Wait, you think Chilli? 955 00:44:25,823 --> 00:44:27,890 Wait, do you know those guys at all? 956 00:44:27,892 --> 00:44:29,825 Who are you right now? 957 00:44:29,827 --> 00:44:31,662 - What? - You're freaking me out. 958 00:44:31,664 --> 00:44:34,798 I feel like I don't even know you. You're like this foreign person. 959 00:44:36,099 --> 00:44:38,534 Do you want me to be a foreign person? 960 00:44:38,536 --> 00:44:40,468 What? 961 00:44:40,470 --> 00:44:41,736 Here? Right now? 962 00:44:41,738 --> 00:44:45,607 Because I just got lost on the way to bibliotheque 963 00:44:45,609 --> 00:44:48,042 and I don't know where all my other French friends are. 964 00:44:48,044 --> 00:44:50,444 - Chantelle is here? - Chantelle is here with... 965 00:44:50,446 --> 00:44:51,880 Oh, my God! 966 00:44:54,883 --> 00:44:57,584 Honey, it's almost 5:00. 967 00:44:57,586 --> 00:44:59,052 Keep your head in the game. 968 00:44:59,054 --> 00:45:00,553 You're so good. 969 00:45:00,555 --> 00:45:01,920 Come on, we'll go to the bathroom for five minutes. 970 00:45:01,922 --> 00:45:03,189 All right. 971 00:45:03,191 --> 00:45:04,390 - It's crazy. - Huh. 972 00:45:04,392 --> 00:45:06,091 Hey, you should go talk with her. 973 00:45:06,093 --> 00:45:08,360 - No, you should go. - Neither of you should. 974 00:45:08,362 --> 00:45:10,629 - Thanks. - You're welcome. Neither one. 975 00:45:10,631 --> 00:45:11,896 Shut up, Sable. 976 00:45:11,898 --> 00:45:13,498 No, honestly, it should be you, Bob. 977 00:45:13,500 --> 00:45:14,999 No, I think she really wants to talk to you. 978 00:45:15,001 --> 00:45:17,635 'Cause I think girls really like 979 00:45:17,637 --> 00:45:22,040 depressed guys that still have a name for their bong. 980 00:45:25,577 --> 00:45:27,179 Get a good one. 981 00:45:29,247 --> 00:45:31,448 This is gonna go great. 982 00:45:31,450 --> 00:45:34,952 - Thank you. - All right, good advice. 983 00:45:36,053 --> 00:45:38,554 Good luck. 984 00:45:38,556 --> 00:45:40,257 Tell her I said hi. 985 00:45:44,461 --> 00:45:46,094 Cheryl Deakins. 986 00:45:46,096 --> 00:45:48,162 Chilli Cilliano. 987 00:45:48,164 --> 00:45:49,896 How'd you know it was me? 988 00:45:49,898 --> 00:45:52,132 I'd know that faint smell of sativa and Old Spice anywhere. 989 00:45:52,134 --> 00:45:54,134 Yeah. I had to get a little stoned. 990 00:45:54,136 --> 00:45:57,270 I can't be sober at these things. They're awful. 991 00:45:57,272 --> 00:45:59,238 That was the wrong choice, man. 992 00:45:59,240 --> 00:46:01,540 - What? - Neither of you should have gone, 993 00:46:01,542 --> 00:46:06,077 but if one of you should have went then it should have been you. 994 00:46:06,079 --> 00:46:07,914 How many wines have you had? 995 00:46:09,082 --> 00:46:11,385 How many legs does an octopus have? 996 00:46:12,652 --> 00:46:14,020 Well, eight. 997 00:46:16,122 --> 00:46:20,057 I see that you've been rejecting fashion trends 998 00:46:20,059 --> 00:46:22,493 and haircuts and maybe hygiene. I respect that. 999 00:46:22,495 --> 00:46:27,463 Well, I think respect is the key to the beginning of rebuilding a friendship. 1000 00:46:27,465 --> 00:46:29,899 - Is that a saying? Maybe? - Yeah, sure. Who said that? 1001 00:46:29,901 --> 00:46:33,770 I don't know. I wanna hear about this husband of yours. 1002 00:46:33,772 --> 00:46:38,473 What's the story? Is he still charming, sensible, rich? 1003 00:46:38,475 --> 00:46:40,675 No. Dead. 1004 00:46:40,677 --> 00:46:42,811 Yeah, same with me. 1005 00:46:42,813 --> 00:46:45,312 Dead to me. Divorced. 1006 00:46:45,314 --> 00:46:49,916 No, I mean he's "dead" dead. He actually died. 1007 00:46:49,918 --> 00:46:51,685 He's dead? 1008 00:46:51,687 --> 00:46:53,454 For real? 1009 00:46:53,456 --> 00:46:54,855 Oh... 1010 00:46:54,857 --> 00:46:59,659 Yeah, he died in a car crash. We were separated already. 1011 00:46:59,661 --> 00:47:01,093 You already separated. 1012 00:47:01,095 --> 00:47:03,028 - Yeah. - And now he's dead. He's gone. 1013 00:47:03,030 --> 00:47:04,196 - He's gone. - Officially. 1014 00:47:04,198 --> 00:47:06,900 Act a little more upset about it. 1015 00:47:06,902 --> 00:47:09,268 I know, but, anyway, how are you? How's your life? 1016 00:47:09,270 --> 00:47:13,971 Great. I lost my business. Divorced. Playing tag competitively. 1017 00:47:13,973 --> 00:47:15,473 Pretty much rock bottom. 1018 00:47:15,475 --> 00:47:17,608 - Are you trying to make me horny? - Fuck yes, I am. 1019 00:47:17,610 --> 00:47:19,377 - 'Cause it's happening. - It is? 1020 00:47:19,379 --> 00:47:20,944 Oh, yeah. 1021 00:47:20,946 --> 00:47:22,379 (SIGHS) 1022 00:47:22,381 --> 00:47:24,181 So have you tried the hushpuppies, or what? 1023 00:47:24,183 --> 00:47:26,716 What do you think they're talking about? 1024 00:47:26,718 --> 00:47:29,318 I don't know, and I don't want you to worry about it. 1025 00:47:29,320 --> 00:47:30,854 We've got 15 minutes. 1026 00:47:30,856 --> 00:47:36,459 Oh, Chilli, I think about you all the time, Chilli. 1027 00:47:36,461 --> 00:47:38,828 Oh, yeah? But what about Callahan? He's so handsome. 1028 00:47:38,830 --> 00:47:41,963 He's very handsome, but he's a selfish lover. 1029 00:47:41,965 --> 00:47:43,364 With a small dick. 1030 00:47:43,366 --> 00:47:46,303 - Really? Okay. - Plus he sobs after he comes. 1031 00:47:47,337 --> 00:47:48,636 Wow. 1032 00:47:48,638 --> 00:47:50,738 It's okay, Callahan. It's nothing to be ashamed of. 1033 00:47:50,740 --> 00:47:52,606 Okay, you know what? You guys are all 12-year-olds. 1034 00:47:52,608 --> 00:47:53,740 Oh, Chilli. 1035 00:47:53,742 --> 00:47:56,610 SABLE: Hey, Cheryl, I want to reconnect. 1036 00:47:56,612 --> 00:47:59,679 Oh, yeah. 1037 00:47:59,681 --> 00:48:01,547 - What's happening now? - Oh, Bob! 1038 00:48:01,549 --> 00:48:04,617 Yeah, I'm just... Oh, I'm just feeling the vibes. 1039 00:48:04,619 --> 00:48:08,453 JERRY: I mean, who wants to have sex with a guy named Bob? 1040 00:48:08,455 --> 00:48:11,323 "Oh, Bob." Just doesn't sound right. "Oh, Bob." 1041 00:48:11,325 --> 00:48:13,190 - "Oh, Bob." - "Oh, Bob." 1042 00:48:13,192 --> 00:48:15,660 - "Bob. Bob, Bob." - "Oh, Robert." 1043 00:48:15,662 --> 00:48:16,661 "Bob." 1044 00:48:16,663 --> 00:48:18,362 I wasn't gonna text you, you know? 1045 00:48:18,364 --> 00:48:19,563 I didn't wanna mess with you when you were married. 1046 00:48:19,565 --> 00:48:21,465 No, I think that's nice. Respectful. 1047 00:48:21,467 --> 00:48:22,466 If I knew he was dead, I would have texted right away. 1048 00:48:22,468 --> 00:48:23,801 All right. Okay. 1049 00:48:23,803 --> 00:48:25,970 - No! Please don't leave on that! - No, it's fine. 1050 00:48:25,972 --> 00:48:28,171 We're good, we're good. I'm just gonna use the ladies' room. 1051 00:48:28,173 --> 00:48:30,773 - I'll see you later. It's nice to see you. - Okay. It's great to see you. 1052 00:48:30,775 --> 00:48:32,042 You, too. 1053 00:48:35,780 --> 00:48:37,248 Widowed. 1054 00:48:54,229 --> 00:48:56,263 Cheryl Deakins. 1055 00:48:56,265 --> 00:48:58,097 What are you doing here? 1056 00:48:58,099 --> 00:48:59,399 And where are the urinals? 1057 00:48:59,401 --> 00:49:02,268 Probably in the men's room. 1058 00:49:02,270 --> 00:49:04,136 - You haven't changed a bit. - Thank you. 1059 00:49:04,138 --> 00:49:07,106 - No, that was not a compliment. - Well... 1060 00:49:07,108 --> 00:49:08,974 - I have matured. - Have you? Really? 1061 00:49:08,976 --> 00:49:11,710 Because this old move where you follow me into the bathroom 1062 00:49:11,712 --> 00:49:13,444 it's exactly what you did at junior prom. 1063 00:49:13,446 --> 00:49:16,180 It was a good move then, and it's a good move now. 1064 00:49:16,182 --> 00:49:17,882 - Marginally nicer bathroom. - Hmm. 1065 00:49:17,884 --> 00:49:19,349 Do you wanna get a drink? 1066 00:49:19,351 --> 00:49:21,151 Actually, I think I'm gonna head home. 1067 00:49:21,153 --> 00:49:22,719 Can I give you a ride? 1068 00:49:22,721 --> 00:49:24,354 - Sure. - Great. 1069 00:49:24,356 --> 00:49:27,526 - Right after we have that drink. - Oh, I see what you did there. 1070 00:49:31,396 --> 00:49:32,595 Okay, guys. It's almost go time. 1071 00:49:32,597 --> 00:49:34,730 Is everybody in position? Over. 1072 00:49:34,732 --> 00:49:37,098 Sable is in position. 1073 00:49:37,101 --> 00:49:38,567 (COUGHS) 1074 00:49:38,569 --> 00:49:40,502 - HOGAN: Chilli! - Yeah. Let's get him. 1075 00:49:40,504 --> 00:49:43,740 HOGAN: Callahan. Callahan, do you read me? Over. 1076 00:49:45,943 --> 00:49:48,111 Callahan. Where are you, buddy? 1077 00:49:50,913 --> 00:49:52,446 Callahan! 1078 00:49:52,448 --> 00:49:54,784 We got an unguarded exit, okay? 1079 00:49:55,685 --> 00:49:57,317 Hi. 1080 00:49:57,319 --> 00:49:58,787 (YELLS) Callahan! 1081 00:50:05,827 --> 00:50:07,159 Go! Go! Go! Go! 1082 00:50:07,161 --> 00:50:08,760 (SCREAMS) Go! 1083 00:50:08,762 --> 00:50:10,464 Not today, motherfucker! 1084 00:50:11,732 --> 00:50:13,801 Hey, thanks for coming. Appreciate it. 1085 00:50:19,072 --> 00:50:20,304 Go! Go! 1086 00:50:20,306 --> 00:50:22,307 Come and get it, bitches! 1087 00:50:24,343 --> 00:50:27,279 HOGAN: Get in! Get in! We're close. We're close. 1088 00:50:41,524 --> 00:50:44,227 - Hold on! Hold on! - SABLE: Go, go! 1089 00:50:45,128 --> 00:50:47,227 SABLE: Go faster! Go faster! 1090 00:50:47,229 --> 00:50:48,632 Giddy up! 1091 00:50:49,933 --> 00:50:51,634 HOGAN: We're coming for you! 1092 00:50:58,907 --> 00:51:01,209 (ALL YELLING) 1093 00:51:03,711 --> 00:51:04,777 Incoming! 1094 00:51:04,779 --> 00:51:06,045 No, no, no! 1095 00:51:06,047 --> 00:51:07,515 Go! Go! 1096 00:51:10,283 --> 00:51:11,850 God, I wish I had my gun here. 1097 00:51:11,852 --> 00:51:13,885 There are so many good birds to shoot. 1098 00:51:13,887 --> 00:51:15,587 (CLEARS THROAT) 1099 00:51:15,589 --> 00:51:17,689 - So, this is a vacation for you? - Yeah. 1100 00:51:17,691 --> 00:51:20,891 I mean some couples go on cruises. Some couples go camping. 1101 00:51:20,893 --> 00:51:24,928 Some couples go to strip clubs and have gangbangs, 1102 00:51:24,930 --> 00:51:27,230 and this is just what we do. This is what we love. 1103 00:51:27,232 --> 00:51:29,265 This is our gangbang. 1104 00:51:29,267 --> 00:51:31,668 You know, it seems to me like you'd be really good at the game. 1105 00:51:31,670 --> 00:51:33,536 - Why don't you play? - Well, 1106 00:51:33,538 --> 00:51:36,039 They came up with the rules when they were nine. No girls allowed. 1107 00:51:36,041 --> 00:51:40,542 And to be honest, I can get a little overly aggressive 1108 00:51:40,544 --> 00:51:42,377 and competitive sometimes. 1109 00:51:42,379 --> 00:51:44,913 HOGAN: Come on, Jerry. You're dead meat! 1110 00:51:44,915 --> 00:51:46,280 Yeah! 1111 00:51:46,282 --> 00:51:48,050 Keep your eyes downfield! 1112 00:51:48,052 --> 00:51:49,784 Cut across the fourth fairway! 1113 00:51:49,786 --> 00:51:51,351 Don't fuck this up! 1114 00:51:51,353 --> 00:51:54,521 Yeah. Well. 1115 00:51:54,523 --> 00:51:57,225 Oh, I have to show you pictures of our kids. 1116 00:51:59,394 --> 00:52:00,962 Go, go, go! 1117 00:52:02,329 --> 00:52:03,830 SABLE: Hoagie, get him. 1118 00:52:03,832 --> 00:52:05,366 Hold on. Hold on. 1119 00:52:06,400 --> 00:52:07,966 Hoagie, stop! 1120 00:52:07,968 --> 00:52:09,200 No. Hoagie. 1121 00:52:09,202 --> 00:52:11,870 - What are you doing? - I can't see! 1122 00:52:11,872 --> 00:52:13,373 (GRUNTS) 1123 00:52:20,212 --> 00:52:21,547 (GASPS) 1124 00:52:23,382 --> 00:52:25,048 (SIGHS) 1125 00:52:25,050 --> 00:52:27,118 - Everybody good? - I'm fine. 1126 00:52:27,120 --> 00:52:28,453 I'm fine. 1127 00:52:30,089 --> 00:52:31,522 Well, that happened. 1128 00:52:32,191 --> 00:52:34,490 Onward. 1129 00:52:34,492 --> 00:52:37,227 - Let's get him. - That was invigorating. 1130 00:52:41,598 --> 00:52:44,234 (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) 1131 00:52:49,739 --> 00:52:53,907 HOGAN: That is psychological warfare right there. 1132 00:52:53,909 --> 00:52:56,143 CHILLI: That's impressive. HOGAN: Yeah, that's a good move. 1133 00:52:56,145 --> 00:52:57,813 Good one, Jer! 1134 00:52:59,948 --> 00:53:01,714 (WHISTLES) 1135 00:53:01,716 --> 00:53:03,850 There he is! 1136 00:53:03,852 --> 00:53:04,919 Hello, boys. 1137 00:53:07,821 --> 00:53:08,954 What? 1138 00:53:08,956 --> 00:53:11,389 (JERRY WHISTLES) 1139 00:53:11,391 --> 00:53:12,624 CHILLI: Okay, how's he doing this? 1140 00:53:12,626 --> 00:53:13,859 All right, Jerry, stop! 1141 00:53:13,861 --> 00:53:15,292 SABLE: He's multiplying! It's happening! 1142 00:53:15,294 --> 00:53:16,928 - What the fuck? - There's one! 1143 00:53:16,930 --> 00:53:19,296 (ALL SCREAM) 1144 00:53:19,298 --> 00:53:21,297 - Hey! - What? 1145 00:53:21,299 --> 00:53:24,300 There's so many. There's so many! 1146 00:53:24,302 --> 00:53:26,237 There he is! I'm coming for you, Jerry! 1147 00:53:26,239 --> 00:53:27,672 Chilli, you're not even it! 1148 00:53:28,207 --> 00:53:30,274 (PANTING) 1149 00:53:35,846 --> 00:53:37,448 I'm on your ass! 1150 00:53:39,083 --> 00:53:40,518 (YELLS) Come on! 1151 00:53:49,324 --> 00:53:51,027 Oh, shit! 1152 00:53:51,795 --> 00:53:53,562 Shit! 1153 00:54:00,803 --> 00:54:03,969 This is terrible. This is pure bullshit. 1154 00:54:03,971 --> 00:54:05,304 We should not be here. 1155 00:54:05,306 --> 00:54:07,807 This is gettin' way too extreme. 1156 00:54:07,809 --> 00:54:09,507 I need you to buck up, Sable. 1157 00:54:09,509 --> 00:54:11,076 - Yeah. - Come on, let's stay focused. 1158 00:54:11,078 --> 00:54:13,847 Yeah, we bucked up out of the goddamn golf cart. 1159 00:54:18,218 --> 00:54:20,350 You smell that? Do you smell it? 1160 00:54:20,352 --> 00:54:21,952 It's Jerry. I smell him. 1161 00:54:21,954 --> 00:54:23,587 It's leaves and grass. 1162 00:54:23,589 --> 00:54:25,289 And centipedes. 1163 00:54:25,291 --> 00:54:27,157 Just typical woods stuff. 1164 00:54:27,159 --> 00:54:28,693 He's close. 1165 00:54:29,460 --> 00:54:30,626 I can feel it. 1166 00:54:30,628 --> 00:54:31,894 I can feel something. 1167 00:54:31,896 --> 00:54:33,196 (CRACKLING) 1168 00:54:33,198 --> 00:54:34,933 Oh, shit! 1169 00:54:36,835 --> 00:54:38,900 - Jesus. Oh, my God. - Shit. 1170 00:54:38,902 --> 00:54:41,136 - Oh, my God. - Wow, that's crazy. 1171 00:54:41,138 --> 00:54:42,637 (HOGAN LAUGHS NERVOUSLY) 1172 00:54:42,639 --> 00:54:45,441 Our friend is a psychopath, and this is scary. 1173 00:54:46,110 --> 00:54:48,310 He got me. I'm down. 1174 00:54:48,312 --> 00:54:51,245 This is on you now. Come here. 1175 00:54:51,247 --> 00:54:53,180 Let me tag you. 1176 00:54:53,182 --> 00:54:54,449 Come on! 1177 00:54:56,085 --> 00:54:57,750 All right. 1178 00:54:57,752 --> 00:54:59,419 (WHISPERS) I can see him. 1179 00:54:59,421 --> 00:55:02,555 He's at three o'clock. 50 yards out. 1180 00:55:02,557 --> 00:55:04,725 - Three o'clock. Got it. - Three o'clock. 1181 00:55:06,560 --> 00:55:08,095 (WHISPERS) Sable! 1182 00:55:10,363 --> 00:55:12,197 That three o'clock. 1183 00:55:12,199 --> 00:55:14,266 - You didn't say which time zone, man! - That's not time zones. 1184 00:55:14,268 --> 00:55:16,767 Why didn't you just point the first time? Next time, just point. 1185 00:55:16,769 --> 00:55:18,970 It's that way. Go! Go, go, go! 1186 00:55:18,972 --> 00:55:21,007 Go, Sable, go! 1187 00:55:30,015 --> 00:55:32,483 (BIRDS CHIRPING) 1188 00:55:41,491 --> 00:55:42,926 (GASPS) 1189 00:55:44,228 --> 00:55:45,896 I see you. 1190 00:55:48,198 --> 00:55:49,933 Yeah, motherfucker. 1191 00:55:55,137 --> 00:55:56,502 You're it! 1192 00:55:56,504 --> 00:55:58,740 (SPEAKING SPANISH) 1193 00:56:08,383 --> 00:56:09,750 Oh, I don't like that. 1194 00:56:14,520 --> 00:56:15,923 Shh. 1195 00:56:17,157 --> 00:56:18,158 Sleep. 1196 00:56:23,829 --> 00:56:24,830 Sable? 1197 00:56:26,032 --> 00:56:27,033 Sable? 1198 00:56:41,412 --> 00:56:42,678 What happened? 1199 00:56:42,680 --> 00:56:43,812 We got chloroformed. 1200 00:56:43,814 --> 00:56:45,680 Chloroformed? What? 1201 00:56:45,682 --> 00:56:49,517 Bob took our car, and now we're in a Lyft. We're going to the Sandpiper. 1202 00:56:49,519 --> 00:56:50,885 I don't wanna be it anymore. 1203 00:56:50,887 --> 00:56:52,519 I don't wanna be it. Hoagie, it's on you, bud. 1204 00:56:52,521 --> 00:56:53,988 SABLE: Now, what the fuck? 1205 00:56:53,990 --> 00:56:56,122 Wait. I'm confused. What just happened in there? 1206 00:56:56,124 --> 00:56:58,692 Well, Jerry woke up early, got some grounds crew 1207 00:56:58,694 --> 00:57:01,795 to go out in the woods, build some snares and a swinging log trap 1208 00:57:01,797 --> 00:57:05,030 and wear matching outfits to act as decoys. 1209 00:57:05,032 --> 00:57:06,435 Maniac. 1210 00:57:08,736 --> 00:57:10,103 Are you okay? 1211 00:57:10,105 --> 00:57:13,305 Yes, yes. I am. I'm good. 1212 00:57:13,307 --> 00:57:16,207 I am amazed that you're able to stay so optimistic after all that. 1213 00:57:16,209 --> 00:57:19,111 Well, some have said I am the heart and soul of the game. 1214 00:57:19,113 --> 00:57:20,278 No, you've said that. 1215 00:57:20,280 --> 00:57:22,479 You're the only person I've heard say that. 1216 00:57:22,481 --> 00:57:29,052 Well, technically "just me" fits the legal definition of "some" so suck a dick. 1217 00:57:29,054 --> 00:57:32,155 Well, it seems like the game has really kept you guys connected. 1218 00:57:32,157 --> 00:57:34,156 - Exactly. - Well, except Jerry. 1219 00:57:34,158 --> 00:57:35,324 What? Don't say that. 1220 00:57:35,326 --> 00:57:38,027 How often do you see Jerry outside of tag? 1221 00:57:38,029 --> 00:57:40,162 Well, not super frequently, but... 1222 00:57:40,164 --> 00:57:43,233 Would you consider that a close friendship? 1223 00:57:45,135 --> 00:57:47,570 Well, that's kind of a dicky question. 1224 00:57:57,114 --> 00:57:58,147 HOGAN: Thank you. 1225 00:57:59,415 --> 00:58:03,718 All I'm saying is Callahan better fucking be here. 1226 00:58:08,022 --> 00:58:09,389 (HOGAN CHUCKLES) 1227 00:58:09,391 --> 00:58:11,923 - What's up? What? - Look who decided to show up. 1228 00:58:11,925 --> 00:58:14,592 What? I had a business call with Beijing. Couldn't be helped. I'm sorry. 1229 00:58:14,594 --> 00:58:17,262 Business call with Beijing? It would have been 8:00 a.m. Saturday out there. 1230 00:58:17,264 --> 00:58:19,398 You doing business calls at 8:00 a.m. Saturday morning? 1231 00:58:19,400 --> 00:58:21,232 Why do you know so much about Beijing time zones? 1232 00:58:21,234 --> 00:58:25,103 2008 Olympics. Michael Phelps, baby. 1233 00:58:25,105 --> 00:58:27,037 Fair enough. Okay, anyway, I have an idea. 1234 00:58:27,039 --> 00:58:28,538 - Anybody want to hear it? - Yes. 1235 00:58:28,540 --> 00:58:30,907 - What is it? - Jerry's gym. 1236 00:58:30,909 --> 00:58:32,475 Someone there's gotta know where he is. 1237 00:58:32,477 --> 00:58:34,910 - I like this. That's a good idea. - Great! 1238 00:58:34,912 --> 00:58:36,912 - Up top! Buckle up, gang! - Yes! Giddy up! 1239 00:58:36,914 --> 00:58:38,347 - You're it, by the way. - What's wrong? 1240 00:58:38,349 --> 00:58:40,416 - My fucking knee. - What's wrong with your knee? 1241 00:58:40,418 --> 00:58:41,749 I got hit by a log. 1242 00:58:41,751 --> 00:58:43,551 You got hit by a log, what? 1243 00:58:43,553 --> 00:58:45,421 We were chasing him. I got hit by a fucking log. It really hurts. 1244 00:58:45,423 --> 00:58:47,121 I'm gonna go in. Fuck, I'm pissed off about this, but go. 1245 00:58:47,123 --> 00:58:49,123 You want me to call the pediatrician? 1246 00:58:49,125 --> 00:58:51,125 - I'm an adult. I don't need a pediatrician. - You're not coming? 1247 00:58:51,127 --> 00:58:53,494 I think I'm gonna slow you down. Why don't you guys go? 1248 00:58:53,496 --> 00:58:54,761 After the gym, let's meet up. 1249 00:58:54,763 --> 00:58:55,896 All right, fine. 1250 00:58:55,898 --> 00:58:57,030 Trust me, I wanna go... 1251 00:58:57,032 --> 00:58:59,866 Y'all need a sub? Huh? I'm in! 1252 00:58:59,868 --> 00:59:02,202 HOGAN: We're super good, man. Thanks! 1253 00:59:02,204 --> 00:59:03,503 We're good. 1254 00:59:03,505 --> 00:59:06,205 Who's banned now, bitch? 1255 00:59:06,207 --> 00:59:09,943 (GRUNTS) I'm okay. All right, guys. Take it easy! 1256 00:59:11,745 --> 00:59:13,745 (LOU GASPS) 1257 00:59:13,747 --> 00:59:15,816 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 1258 00:59:21,388 --> 00:59:23,353 Oh, that knee healed up fast. 1259 00:59:23,355 --> 00:59:25,057 Stay out of this, Lou. 1260 00:59:29,261 --> 00:59:31,229 LOU: Oh, you saucy devil. 1261 00:59:42,072 --> 00:59:45,340 Hey, there, welcome to Granite Fitness. Get hard, stay hard. 1262 00:59:45,342 --> 00:59:49,111 Just so you guys know, we're going to be closing in five short minutes, 1263 00:59:49,113 --> 00:59:50,945 but is there anything I can help you with? 1264 00:59:50,947 --> 00:59:53,214 Yes, Dave, in fact there is something you could help us with. 1265 00:59:53,216 --> 00:59:55,784 How would you like to earn $500? 1266 01:00:02,656 --> 01:00:06,125 Okay, just so you guys know, I'm not sucking your guys' dicks, all right? 1267 01:00:06,127 --> 01:00:07,726 And I'm not letting you suck my dick either. 1268 01:00:07,728 --> 01:00:10,628 No one is talking about anyone sucking anyone's anything. 1269 01:00:10,630 --> 01:00:14,099 You sure about that? 'Cause this guy's eyeing me hard. 1270 01:00:14,102 --> 01:00:15,800 - What? - I'm just saying, man, 1271 01:00:15,802 --> 01:00:17,368 - you've got that vibe. - Yeah? 1272 01:00:17,370 --> 01:00:18,503 Stop it. 1273 01:00:18,505 --> 01:00:20,004 Hey, Sable, seriously. Chill. 1274 01:00:20,006 --> 01:00:21,305 - Just stop it. - Stop it? 1275 01:00:21,307 --> 01:00:23,840 It's too sexual. You're undressing me, 1276 01:00:23,842 --> 01:00:25,476 literally, right now with your eyes. 1277 01:00:25,478 --> 01:00:31,414 Dave. 500 bucks, and all we want is to know where Jerry is. 1278 01:00:31,416 --> 01:00:36,018 Oh! Jerry. Yes, okay, shit. 1279 01:00:36,020 --> 01:00:39,787 He did mention that some people were gonna swing by looking for him. 1280 01:00:39,789 --> 01:00:42,591 He left a message. Oh, yeah. 1281 01:00:42,593 --> 01:00:44,192 Go fuck yourselves. 1282 01:00:44,194 --> 01:00:46,494 Okay, look. $1,000. All right? Easy money. 1283 01:00:46,496 --> 01:00:48,062 Jerry won't even know that you sold him out. 1284 01:00:48,064 --> 01:00:49,930 I got a better idea. Why don't you go back 1285 01:00:49,932 --> 01:00:52,367 to the little Best Western that you're staying in 1286 01:00:52,369 --> 01:00:54,602 and jerk each other off in the nude? 1287 01:00:54,604 --> 01:00:57,070 Why do you keep taking this conversation into a sexual direction? 1288 01:00:57,072 --> 01:01:00,307 Listen, Dave. $1,500. Don't be an idiot. 1289 01:01:00,309 --> 01:01:02,041 Not a chance, you dick-suckin' homophobes. 1290 01:01:02,043 --> 01:01:04,310 - Hey! - What? 1291 01:01:04,312 --> 01:01:06,212 Dave? 1292 01:01:06,214 --> 01:01:07,513 Do you know what we're gonna do? 1293 01:01:07,515 --> 01:01:09,016 What? 1294 01:01:12,186 --> 01:01:14,888 We're gonna waterboard you. 1295 01:01:25,797 --> 01:01:27,198 Don't be a hero, Dave. 1296 01:01:27,200 --> 01:01:29,401 Jerry doesn't give a shit about you. 1297 01:01:30,735 --> 01:01:32,368 So tell us where he is. 1298 01:01:32,370 --> 01:01:33,904 I'm never gonna tell you. 1299 01:01:34,673 --> 01:01:37,407 Last chance, Dave. 1300 01:01:37,409 --> 01:01:39,775 You're not gonna go through with this for some game, 1301 01:01:39,777 --> 01:01:41,278 so quit jerking me off! 1302 01:01:42,613 --> 01:01:43,945 Oh, Jesus. 1303 01:01:43,947 --> 01:01:45,380 No one's jerking you off, kid. 1304 01:01:45,382 --> 01:01:47,416 'Cause Jerry has pushed us to the fucking edge. 1305 01:01:47,418 --> 01:01:49,350 If you don't tell us what we need to know, 1306 01:01:49,352 --> 01:01:51,552 you're going over the edge with us. 1307 01:01:51,554 --> 01:01:53,221 You ready to die for this shit? 1308 01:01:53,223 --> 01:01:54,854 I'd rather die than get sucked off by you homophobes. 1309 01:01:54,856 --> 01:01:58,091 We're not gonna suck you off, we're gonna waterboard you. 1310 01:01:58,093 --> 01:01:59,926 I'm just taking a principled stand right now. 1311 01:01:59,928 --> 01:02:02,462 Okay. Well, guess what. Now, this is gonna happen. All right? 1312 01:02:02,464 --> 01:02:04,431 Are you ready? I hope you can hold your breath, son! 1313 01:02:04,433 --> 01:02:05,465 Do it! 1314 01:02:05,467 --> 01:02:07,333 BOB: 'Cause this is going right down! 1315 01:02:07,335 --> 01:02:09,568 - Yeah! - You son of a bitch! 1316 01:02:09,570 --> 01:02:10,768 BOB: Here it comes! 1317 01:02:10,770 --> 01:02:12,036 It's coming! It's coming! 1318 01:02:12,038 --> 01:02:13,805 Yeah. You know, we should not. 1319 01:02:13,807 --> 01:02:16,474 I feel like it would be too much. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 1320 01:02:16,476 --> 01:02:17,842 That got outta hand. 1321 01:02:17,844 --> 01:02:19,344 My heart is beating really fast right now. 1322 01:02:19,346 --> 01:02:21,512 We were just kidding, we were just bluffing. 1323 01:02:21,514 --> 01:02:24,214 - No, we weren't fucking bluffing! - Anna, Anna, Anna! 1324 01:02:24,216 --> 01:02:26,583 - Oh, my God, no. Just, no. - Sweetheart. 1325 01:02:26,585 --> 01:02:29,785 It's a war crime, right? It's not really who we are. 1326 01:02:29,787 --> 01:02:30,920 Yep, sorry. 1327 01:02:30,922 --> 01:02:33,089 We got a kinky cat over here. 1328 01:02:33,091 --> 01:02:34,757 - Okay. - Fuck you, Dave. 1329 01:02:34,759 --> 01:02:36,758 God, I love your passion. 1330 01:02:36,760 --> 01:02:38,463 I'll tell you what. 1331 01:02:40,230 --> 01:02:44,032 I will tell you where Jerry's gonna be 1332 01:02:44,034 --> 01:02:47,901 for $2,000. Cash. American. 1333 01:02:47,903 --> 01:02:49,304 - Okay, fine. - No problem. 1334 01:02:49,306 --> 01:02:50,705 Why didn't you say that in the first place? 1335 01:02:50,707 --> 01:02:52,806 Why did you take us down this whole road? 1336 01:02:52,808 --> 01:02:55,276 It looked like there was room to negotiate, and I was all prepared to do that. 1337 01:02:55,278 --> 01:02:57,511 But then we went down the whole torture track 1338 01:02:57,513 --> 01:03:02,282 and I dug my heels in, philosophically. I happen to be an objector. 1339 01:03:02,284 --> 01:03:04,950 - We are too, obviously. - Not really. 1340 01:03:04,952 --> 01:03:06,653 That was a bluff. 1341 01:03:06,655 --> 01:03:07,819 You know what? You should probably not write this down 1342 01:03:07,821 --> 01:03:09,288 and if it does come up, 1343 01:03:09,290 --> 01:03:12,024 just mention that we didn't actually waterboard him. 1344 01:03:12,026 --> 01:03:13,492 No waterboarding. 1345 01:03:13,494 --> 01:03:16,395 Just a lot of talk about sucking each other's dicks. 1346 01:03:16,397 --> 01:03:18,195 Yeah. 1347 01:03:18,197 --> 01:03:19,864 Okay, look, you know what? Here. 1348 01:03:19,866 --> 01:03:24,237 I'm gonna give you $2,000, and I'm gonna give you an extra 1349 01:03:24,903 --> 01:03:26,370 $500. 1350 01:03:26,372 --> 01:03:28,138 You just carry around that kind of cash all day? 1351 01:03:28,140 --> 01:03:29,973 You were mentioning something about Jerry, I think. 1352 01:03:29,975 --> 01:03:32,144 Yeah, Jerry is... 1353 01:03:32,678 --> 01:03:34,009 He's in AA. 1354 01:03:34,011 --> 01:03:36,445 - Wait, what? - Yeah. Alcoholics Anonymous. 1355 01:03:36,447 --> 01:03:38,748 I know what it stands for. Wait, did you guys know anything about this? 1356 01:03:38,750 --> 01:03:41,849 He goes there every morning at a church on Brunswick. 1357 01:03:41,851 --> 01:03:43,585 Looking back, I can kinda see it. 1358 01:03:43,587 --> 01:03:46,722 I mean, the first step is recognizing you have a problem. 1359 01:03:46,724 --> 01:03:49,757 I'm just glad he's getting the help he needs. 1360 01:03:49,759 --> 01:03:51,693 Sorry, did you say that church is on Brunswick? 1361 01:03:51,695 --> 01:03:53,060 - Yes. - Okay! 1362 01:03:53,062 --> 01:03:54,529 - Let's go! Clean up the water! - Thank you! 1363 01:03:54,531 --> 01:03:56,863 So sorry. 1364 01:03:56,865 --> 01:03:59,599 I told you this wasn't gonna be just another boring corporate profile, right? 1365 01:03:59,601 --> 01:04:01,200 Right. This is definitely different. 1366 01:04:01,202 --> 01:04:03,737 And I know I'm no longer the center of the story, 1367 01:04:03,739 --> 01:04:06,474 which is fine with me. I don't mind giving up the... 1368 01:04:09,042 --> 01:04:11,276 Bob, can I buy you a drink? 1369 01:04:11,278 --> 01:04:13,044 Can you fucking believe this? Hold on one second. 1370 01:04:13,046 --> 01:04:15,082 - Maybe... - One second, one second. 1371 01:04:17,017 --> 01:04:20,752 Hi! Hi! Wow! Look at this. 1372 01:04:20,754 --> 01:04:22,119 - How you doing? - Good. 1373 01:04:22,121 --> 01:04:23,187 Pretty good. Yeah, we're just catching up. 1374 01:04:23,189 --> 01:04:24,822 That's so nice. How's that knee? 1375 01:04:24,824 --> 01:04:26,690 - It actually does hurt. - Yeah. 1376 01:04:26,692 --> 01:04:29,727 But resting and talking to an old friend has actually really helped. 1377 01:04:29,729 --> 01:04:31,394 Thank you for asking. 1378 01:04:31,396 --> 01:04:33,363 - How was the business call with Beijing? - Super good. 1379 01:04:33,365 --> 01:04:34,831 - It was? - Yeah, I got a lot done. 1380 01:04:34,833 --> 01:04:36,366 Great. 1381 01:04:36,368 --> 01:04:38,133 What, you think I faked my business call to Beijing 1382 01:04:38,135 --> 01:04:39,602 like you faked hurting your knee? 1383 01:04:39,604 --> 01:04:41,636 You know what, dude? I'm sick of this shit, Bob. 1384 01:04:41,638 --> 01:04:43,572 - You're it. How 'bout that? - No! Pass. 1385 01:04:43,574 --> 01:04:45,474 - You can't pass. And you can't tag back. - You're it. I pass. 1386 01:04:45,476 --> 01:04:47,174 - Oh, my God. - It's like literally the first rule. 1387 01:04:47,176 --> 01:04:48,744 - You're it! You're it! - You cannot tag me back! 1388 01:04:48,746 --> 01:04:51,245 - I'll rewrite the fucking rule book! - Shut up! 1389 01:04:51,247 --> 01:04:52,847 Why are you acting like children? 1390 01:04:52,849 --> 01:04:54,648 - 'Cause he started it. - You started it. 1391 01:04:54,650 --> 01:04:56,450 - You literally started it. "My knee hurts." - No, you started it! 1392 01:04:56,452 --> 01:04:57,718 What do you think they're talking about? 1393 01:04:57,720 --> 01:04:58,853 Are we off the record? 1394 01:04:58,855 --> 01:05:00,522 Yeah, sure, sure. 1395 01:05:01,390 --> 01:05:02,455 No idea. 1396 01:05:02,457 --> 01:05:04,123 You know what? I shouldn't have come. 1397 01:05:04,125 --> 01:05:05,891 Jerry always gets in your head. 1398 01:05:05,893 --> 01:05:07,559 Did Jerry tell you to say that? 1399 01:05:07,561 --> 01:05:09,328 You part of the whole Truman Show of it all? 1400 01:05:09,330 --> 01:05:11,463 I mean, Jerry invited me to the rehearsal dinner, 1401 01:05:11,465 --> 01:05:14,298 because he thought it would distract you guys, which it did. 1402 01:05:14,300 --> 01:05:17,902 But I wanted to see you. So I came. 1403 01:05:17,904 --> 01:05:19,504 Sure. 1404 01:05:19,506 --> 01:05:21,106 Oh, my God. 1405 01:05:21,108 --> 01:05:23,408 You guys are fucking idiots. Both of you. But I love you both. 1406 01:05:23,410 --> 01:05:25,777 I'm gonna go. Maybe I'll see you later. Or not. 1407 01:05:25,779 --> 01:05:29,081 - Cheryl... - Go get Jerry. He fucking deserves it. 1408 01:05:30,649 --> 01:05:32,049 Bye, Cheryl. 1409 01:05:32,651 --> 01:05:34,016 HOGAN: Wow! 1410 01:05:34,018 --> 01:05:35,684 What do you want? 1411 01:05:35,686 --> 01:05:38,421 There's gonna be plenty of time to get rejected by Cheryl 1412 01:05:38,423 --> 01:05:41,089 after 12:00 a.m. on June 1st. 1413 01:05:41,091 --> 01:05:46,628 So what I need you guys to focus on, is the fact that we're a team. 1414 01:05:46,630 --> 01:05:50,030 Right? When we love each other, and we love this. 1415 01:05:50,032 --> 01:05:54,301 Let's bask in that. Stay focused on our mission. All right? 1416 01:05:54,303 --> 01:05:56,136 Let's get back on this horse and ride. 1417 01:05:56,138 --> 01:05:57,638 Let's get this asshole. 1418 01:05:57,640 --> 01:06:00,139 Lou, not part of it. Not at all. 1419 01:06:00,141 --> 01:06:01,509 Now, shake. 1420 01:06:02,544 --> 01:06:03,545 Shake! 1421 01:06:06,147 --> 01:06:09,216 All right. Now we got some work to do. 1422 01:06:21,461 --> 01:06:22,593 Got it. 1423 01:06:22,595 --> 01:06:24,464 Go get him, sweetie. 1424 01:06:39,743 --> 01:06:42,578 Okay. 1425 01:06:42,580 --> 01:06:45,447 Hey, do you think we should talk to Jerry about being an alcoholic 1426 01:06:45,449 --> 01:06:47,584 - before we get into all this? - No. 1427 01:06:48,853 --> 01:06:50,518 (SIGHS) 1428 01:06:50,520 --> 01:06:55,455 But now, I've been clean and sober for almost four years. 1429 01:06:55,457 --> 01:06:59,493 Thanks to all of you and that higher power. Amen? 1430 01:06:59,495 --> 01:07:01,597 ALL: Amen. 1431 01:07:03,231 --> 01:07:05,631 Jerry, you about ready to share? 1432 01:07:05,633 --> 01:07:07,702 Come on, y'all, let's give it up for Jerry. 1433 01:07:15,509 --> 01:07:18,245 - My name is Jerry. - ALL: Hi, Jerry. 1434 01:07:21,347 --> 01:07:24,581 JERRY: The slight scent of weed. Chilli. 1435 01:07:24,583 --> 01:07:26,917 He thinks he's caught me off guard. 1436 01:07:26,919 --> 01:07:29,455 CHILLI: Oh, my God! I've caught him off guard. 1437 01:07:32,323 --> 01:07:34,590 JERRY: He rushes in from behind. 1438 01:07:34,592 --> 01:07:37,529 Idiot. I give him a wake-up call. 1439 01:07:43,101 --> 01:07:47,236 CHILLI: Hazelnut coffee? What kind of bitch drinks hazelnut? 1440 01:07:49,006 --> 01:07:51,674 Holy! Chilli! Hit me! 1441 01:07:52,842 --> 01:07:54,441 Get him! 1442 01:07:54,443 --> 01:07:57,411 HOGAN: I'm going to trap him and tag him in the face. 1443 01:07:57,413 --> 01:08:01,483 And yet, in my heart of hearts, pretty sure it's not gonna work. 1444 01:08:03,318 --> 01:08:07,419 JERRY: Hoagie's attempts to face me fail because he lacks confidence. 1445 01:08:07,421 --> 01:08:10,188 Also, I think it's fair to say 1446 01:08:10,190 --> 01:08:14,028 I'm fucking surgical with these complimentary donuts. 1447 01:08:17,597 --> 01:08:21,467 REBECCA: And this is why print journalism is dying. 1448 01:08:22,168 --> 01:08:24,502 (HOGAN GRUNTS AND MOANS) 1449 01:08:24,504 --> 01:08:27,671 BOB: Yes! This is the moment I've been waiting for. 1450 01:08:27,673 --> 01:08:30,709 I'm going to be the one who tags Jerry. 1451 01:08:33,745 --> 01:08:37,214 Callahan will become distracted by his own arrogant thoughts, 1452 01:08:38,416 --> 01:08:40,449 which I will exploit. 1453 01:08:40,451 --> 01:08:43,854 This will be my victory, which makes sense because success breeds success 1454 01:08:44,789 --> 01:08:45,790 Oh, God. 1455 01:08:51,861 --> 01:08:53,329 (BOB GROANS) 1456 01:08:56,899 --> 01:09:01,935 SABLE: How come "bi-weekly" means both twice a week and every other week? 1457 01:09:01,937 --> 01:09:06,341 That's mad confusing and it's just linguistically lazy. 1458 01:09:12,512 --> 01:09:13,513 Oh, shit! 1459 01:09:25,091 --> 01:09:26,759 - Holy shit! - Excessive. 1460 01:09:35,400 --> 01:09:37,869 Feeling trapped, Jerry? 1461 01:09:38,469 --> 01:09:39,668 No. 1462 01:09:39,670 --> 01:09:40,671 Nice. 1463 01:09:43,841 --> 01:09:44,842 HOGAN: Holy shit! 1464 01:09:47,044 --> 01:09:48,244 No, no, no! 1465 01:09:49,345 --> 01:09:50,711 No, no, no! 1466 01:09:50,713 --> 01:09:51,679 (ALL GRUNT) 1467 01:09:51,681 --> 01:09:53,914 We got you, Jerry! You're trapped! 1468 01:09:53,916 --> 01:09:57,183 Five hours till your wedding! We can wait it out if you can! 1469 01:09:57,185 --> 01:09:58,921 (WHISTLING) 1470 01:10:12,600 --> 01:10:15,600 Shit. You know what I just realized? 1471 01:10:15,602 --> 01:10:18,336 There's a lot of sacramental wine and wafers in there. 1472 01:10:18,338 --> 01:10:19,404 He could survive for quite a while. 1473 01:10:19,406 --> 01:10:20,672 No, he can't drink. 1474 01:10:20,674 --> 01:10:22,006 Yeah, but it's not real wine. 1475 01:10:22,008 --> 01:10:23,273 Yes, it is. 1476 01:10:23,275 --> 01:10:25,143 It's just grape juice. It's not wine. 1477 01:10:25,145 --> 01:10:29,446 I mean, I was once so fucked up that I took a shit in my niece's crib. 1478 01:10:29,448 --> 01:10:32,049 Twice, if you ask my sister-in-law. 1479 01:10:32,051 --> 01:10:33,382 So how long you been sober? 1480 01:10:33,384 --> 01:10:35,085 Oh, no, I'm not sober. 1481 01:10:35,087 --> 01:10:37,019 I'm high right now. I'm just here to tag my friend. 1482 01:10:37,021 --> 01:10:41,489 Good luck with the sobriety, man. That's cool. Definitely. 1483 01:10:41,491 --> 01:10:43,758 It's awful quiet in there. 1484 01:10:43,760 --> 01:10:45,727 You know what he's doing? It's a classic ruse. 1485 01:10:45,729 --> 01:10:47,295 Make 'em think there's an exit, 1486 01:10:47,297 --> 01:10:48,897 and that he already escaped. Not buying it. 1487 01:10:48,899 --> 01:10:50,932 I buy it. I bet he has a secret door back there. 1488 01:10:50,934 --> 01:10:52,934 Refrigerator turns into an elevator. 1489 01:10:52,936 --> 01:10:54,535 What? 1490 01:10:54,537 --> 01:10:56,437 Takes the elevator down to the basement. That's his lair. 1491 01:10:56,439 --> 01:10:58,271 - Different outfits, computer screens. - What are you talking about? 1492 01:10:58,273 --> 01:11:01,476 - Cameras watching us. - He's not Batman. 1493 01:11:03,411 --> 01:11:05,011 Told you. In there. 1494 01:11:05,013 --> 01:11:07,345 What's it say? 1495 01:11:07,347 --> 01:11:10,716 - "Eat my dick." - "Eat my dick." Balls. Ass? 1496 01:11:10,718 --> 01:11:11,817 Butt. 1497 01:11:11,819 --> 01:11:13,018 Ice cream. 1498 01:11:13,020 --> 01:11:14,686 - What? - What? 1499 01:11:14,688 --> 01:11:16,788 Yeah, he's taunting me. He knows I'm lactose intolerant. 1500 01:11:16,790 --> 01:11:18,522 (DOOR SQUEAKS) 1501 01:11:18,524 --> 01:11:21,358 What is going on? Where is he? 1502 01:11:21,360 --> 01:11:23,529 Where is he? 1503 01:11:26,264 --> 01:11:27,900 (PANTING) 1504 01:11:29,334 --> 01:11:31,135 Jerry? 1505 01:11:31,137 --> 01:11:33,937 We're supposed to be getting our wedding photos done in an hour. 1506 01:11:33,939 --> 01:11:35,237 What are you doing? 1507 01:11:35,239 --> 01:11:37,207 - Come on out, Jerry. - Jerry, you could come out. 1508 01:11:37,209 --> 01:11:38,507 We're not gonna get you, Jerry. 1509 01:11:38,509 --> 01:11:40,076 Babe, look, calm down. Look, I'm sorry. 1510 01:11:40,078 --> 01:11:42,611 Shut up, Jerry. I can't fucking take this, Jerry. 1511 01:11:42,613 --> 01:11:44,046 She can't take it. Come on out. 1512 01:11:44,048 --> 01:11:46,014 Honey, why are you playing this game right now? 1513 01:11:46,016 --> 01:11:48,449 Why are you playing this game with your friends right now? 1514 01:11:48,451 --> 01:11:50,551 Why is he playing this game right now? 1515 01:11:50,553 --> 01:11:52,520 JERRY: Hey, babe, look. You gotta calm down, okay? 1516 01:11:52,522 --> 01:11:54,421 Listen to me! It's very hard! 1517 01:11:54,423 --> 01:11:57,958 Because you have decided to ruin everything. 1518 01:11:57,960 --> 01:11:59,626 And so have you. 1519 01:11:59,628 --> 01:12:02,963 With your stupid face, and your stupid beard 1520 01:12:02,965 --> 01:12:04,597 and your stupid glasses 1521 01:12:04,599 --> 01:12:07,566 and that stupid jumpsuit. 1522 01:12:07,568 --> 01:12:09,602 There's only so much a girl can take 1523 01:12:09,604 --> 01:12:12,838 and then you want me, on top of that, just to... 1524 01:12:12,840 --> 01:12:15,207 (GASPING) 1525 01:12:15,209 --> 01:12:16,841 Oh, my God. Are you okay? 1526 01:12:16,843 --> 01:12:20,444 - JERRY: Babe? Suz? Sue? - Oh, God! Jerry. Oh, my God. 1527 01:12:20,446 --> 01:12:22,346 - SUSAN: Boo? Boo-boo? - Sue? 1528 01:12:22,348 --> 01:12:24,281 Boo-boo? Boo-boo? 1529 01:12:24,283 --> 01:12:25,783 - What happened? - Boo-boo? Boo-boo... 1530 01:12:25,785 --> 01:12:27,384 - Wait, wait. What happened? - Susan, are you okay? 1531 01:12:27,386 --> 01:12:29,385 - Sit down, sit down, sit down. - The baby. It's the baby. 1532 01:12:29,387 --> 01:12:31,121 It's finally happening. He's right here. Who's it? Bob, tag him. 1533 01:12:31,123 --> 01:12:32,421 - Are you kidding me? - What? 1534 01:12:32,423 --> 01:12:34,057 There's something wrong with her baby. 1535 01:12:34,059 --> 01:12:35,792 There's nothing wrong with that baby. It's a fake. 1536 01:12:35,794 --> 01:12:37,226 If you won't do it, then tag me. I'm gonna do it. 1537 01:12:37,228 --> 01:12:39,195 Oh, yeah. Fine. You want me to tag you, then? 1538 01:12:39,197 --> 01:12:40,595 Oops! I missed. 1539 01:12:40,597 --> 01:12:42,064 As usual, you're completely wrong. 1540 01:12:42,066 --> 01:12:44,332 This? You think I'm wrong? This is so over the top! 1541 01:12:44,334 --> 01:12:45,934 This is obvious. 1542 01:12:45,936 --> 01:12:47,202 (GROANING) 1543 01:12:47,204 --> 01:12:49,137 Tag me and I'll give him a hug, and I'll say, 1544 01:12:49,139 --> 01:12:51,806 "If she's having a miscarriage, this is awful, and you're it." 1545 01:12:51,808 --> 01:12:53,507 Are you kidding me right now? 1546 01:12:53,509 --> 01:12:56,376 You know. This feels like a scene from What Would You Do? 1547 01:12:56,378 --> 01:12:58,813 You get put in a precarious situation 1548 01:12:58,815 --> 01:13:00,513 and you have to make the right decision. 1549 01:13:00,515 --> 01:13:01,948 It's all actors and cameras. 1550 01:13:01,950 --> 01:13:05,885 It's not great television, but it hooks me in. 1551 01:13:05,887 --> 01:13:06,820 CHILLI: What? 1552 01:13:06,822 --> 01:13:08,387 - JERRY: Come on. - (SUSAN GROANS) 1553 01:13:08,389 --> 01:13:11,089 All right, we're good. We're gonna get to the hospital. 1554 01:13:11,091 --> 01:13:15,260 Jesus. Hey! Jerry? Jerry, if you need anything I could easily... 1555 01:13:15,262 --> 01:13:17,095 You come near her or my baby, 1556 01:13:17,097 --> 01:13:18,965 I'll crush your windpipe, Bob. 1557 01:13:20,066 --> 01:13:21,734 This ain't no fucking game. 1558 01:13:26,206 --> 01:13:27,470 Uh... 1559 01:13:27,472 --> 01:13:29,139 I'm pretty sure it's real, guys. 1560 01:13:29,141 --> 01:13:32,309 I will be so pissed if she didn't have a miscarriage. 1561 01:13:32,311 --> 01:13:33,542 Chilli! 1562 01:13:33,544 --> 01:13:34,945 SABLE: We all would be. 1563 01:13:34,947 --> 01:13:36,879 It's just a thing you don't say. 1564 01:13:36,881 --> 01:13:38,382 It's implied. 1565 01:13:58,267 --> 01:14:00,535 Hey, Linda. Namaste. 1566 01:14:02,403 --> 01:14:04,637 Shouldn't you boys be getting cleaned up for the wedding? 1567 01:14:04,639 --> 01:14:06,841 Not you, Chilli. You're perfect. 1568 01:14:07,408 --> 01:14:08,875 Thanks, Linda. 1569 01:14:08,877 --> 01:14:11,045 I don't think anybody's gonna be freshening up. 1570 01:14:14,115 --> 01:14:16,683 Hoagie, you can't go looking like that. 1571 01:14:19,286 --> 01:14:23,188 "To everyone askin', the wedding has been postponed. 1572 01:14:23,190 --> 01:14:25,456 "Thank you for your thoughts and prayers." 1573 01:14:25,458 --> 01:14:27,091 It's from Jerry's mom. 1574 01:14:27,093 --> 01:14:29,894 - What? Maybe we're bad people. - Maybe? 1575 01:14:29,896 --> 01:14:31,461 Yes, I think we definitely are. 1576 01:14:31,463 --> 01:14:32,929 SABLE: We might be. 1577 01:14:32,931 --> 01:14:36,531 Tag used to be a thing that made me really happy. 1578 01:14:36,533 --> 01:14:39,768 But now, it's destroying me. I feel sad. 1579 01:14:39,770 --> 01:14:41,271 Shut the fuck up, Sable. 1580 01:14:41,273 --> 01:14:44,640 Has anyone seen the bridesmaids' Instagram stories? 1581 01:14:44,642 --> 01:14:47,775 - What? - Check it out. 1582 01:14:47,777 --> 01:14:51,512 SABLE: "Wedding's canceled. Sad face emoji. 1583 01:14:51,514 --> 01:14:54,447 "I can't wear the dress. Such a pretty dress. 1584 01:14:54,449 --> 01:14:56,217 "So sad. Goodbye emoji." 1585 01:14:56,219 --> 01:14:59,853 Really? Is there any chance that all these women could post banal 1586 01:14:59,855 --> 01:15:02,122 minute-by-minute moments from their day, 1587 01:15:02,124 --> 01:15:04,423 with mind-numbing captions at the same time? 1588 01:15:04,425 --> 01:15:06,492 - Totally. - Absolutely. That's all Instagram is. 1589 01:15:06,494 --> 01:15:08,794 I don't know about this, guys. I just... 1590 01:15:08,796 --> 01:15:10,296 It doesn't feel right. 1591 01:15:10,298 --> 01:15:12,398 I smell a rat. 1592 01:15:12,400 --> 01:15:14,099 That's what I've been saying. I have been actually saying this the whole time. 1593 01:15:14,102 --> 01:15:17,669 Hey, sweetheart, can we just move on? It's over. 1594 01:15:17,671 --> 01:15:19,804 But it's not. Now, come on, guys. 1595 01:15:19,806 --> 01:15:21,205 I'm gonna get to the bottom of this. 1596 01:15:21,207 --> 01:15:22,907 - Bob. - What'd I do? 1597 01:15:22,909 --> 01:15:24,508 Can I take a photograph of you? 1598 01:15:24,510 --> 01:15:26,777 - No. Okay. - Cute. 1599 01:15:26,779 --> 01:15:28,345 I'm gonna set up an Instagram account for you. 1600 01:15:28,347 --> 01:15:29,613 Please don't. 1601 01:15:29,615 --> 01:15:30,814 Rachel Ditmus is the only bridesmaid 1602 01:15:30,816 --> 01:15:32,648 with a private Instagram account. 1603 01:15:32,650 --> 01:15:34,750 She's been wanting you to finger bang her since the sixth grade. 1604 01:15:34,752 --> 01:15:39,722 If anybody's stupid enough to fall for our request, it will be that dum-dum. 1605 01:15:39,724 --> 01:15:41,123 (CELL PHONE CHIMES) 1606 01:15:41,125 --> 01:15:43,491 And sent. All we've gotta do now is wait. 1607 01:15:43,493 --> 01:15:45,794 - (CELL PHONE CHIMES) - And accepted! 1608 01:15:45,796 --> 01:15:47,529 - Really? - That was weirdly fast. 1609 01:15:47,531 --> 01:15:49,130 Do not finger bang her. 1610 01:15:49,132 --> 01:15:51,598 Oh, my God. I was right. 1611 01:15:51,600 --> 01:15:54,001 - What? What are we looking at here? - What the hell is this? 1612 01:15:54,003 --> 01:15:55,403 A wedding dress. 1613 01:15:55,405 --> 01:15:56,704 What the fuck? 1614 01:15:56,706 --> 01:15:58,538 They faked the fucking miscarriage! 1615 01:15:58,540 --> 01:16:00,640 No, no. Jerry's going down. We're gonna destroy that wedding. 1616 01:16:00,642 --> 01:16:03,444 CHILLI: Let's go! BOB: This is bullshit. That is so fucked up. 1617 01:16:03,446 --> 01:16:05,714 (SHOUTING) 1618 01:16:07,415 --> 01:16:08,615 Hoagie? 1619 01:16:10,784 --> 01:16:12,418 Hoagie, what are you doing? 1620 01:16:12,420 --> 01:16:14,252 Damn it! 1621 01:16:14,254 --> 01:16:15,721 - Sweetie. - Hoagie? 1622 01:16:15,723 --> 01:16:17,191 Be careful. 1623 01:16:18,158 --> 01:16:19,557 Should we stop him, or... 1624 01:16:19,559 --> 01:16:22,762 I'm not getting near him. He's swinging that bat around. 1625 01:16:24,464 --> 01:16:27,233 - Sweetie, that's your mom's. - Yeah, you're gonna hurt yourself. 1626 01:16:31,069 --> 01:16:32,571 (SHOUTS) 1627 01:16:34,873 --> 01:16:41,145 We lost! He beat us! The game is over! 1628 01:16:42,313 --> 01:16:44,812 We can't tag Jerry. 1629 01:16:44,814 --> 01:16:49,150 It's just time for us to come to terms with that. He's untouchable, that's it. 1630 01:16:49,152 --> 01:16:51,085 What do you wanna do? You wanna just give up? 1631 01:16:51,087 --> 01:16:53,720 Yeah, Bob. I wanna give up. It's time to give up. 1632 01:16:53,722 --> 01:16:55,423 Come on, Hogan. You're not a quitter. 1633 01:16:55,425 --> 01:16:57,057 What's the alternative? 1634 01:16:57,059 --> 01:17:00,360 We go to the wedding, we try to tag him, we fail 1635 01:17:00,362 --> 01:17:01,762 and we fuck up the wedding? 1636 01:17:01,764 --> 01:17:03,363 That's not a cool move. That's a dick move. 1637 01:17:03,365 --> 01:17:05,132 That's not what friends do. That's what assholes do. 1638 01:17:05,134 --> 01:17:08,234 Hoagie! He faked a fucking miscarriage. 1639 01:17:08,236 --> 01:17:11,404 This is a miscarriage of justice. 1640 01:17:11,406 --> 01:17:12,804 This is where we get him. 1641 01:17:12,806 --> 01:17:14,672 He deserves to pay for that. 1642 01:17:14,674 --> 01:17:17,476 Even if we wanted to do that, we all signed an amendment. 1643 01:17:17,478 --> 01:17:20,811 Amendments are null and void if you fake a miscarriage. 1644 01:17:20,813 --> 01:17:22,380 That's just basic contract law. 1645 01:17:22,382 --> 01:17:24,382 - That's law. Basic contract law. - Law. 1646 01:17:24,384 --> 01:17:25,783 Like he said. 1647 01:17:25,785 --> 01:17:26,917 - I literally, said exactly that. - I know. 1648 01:17:26,919 --> 01:17:28,819 We're saying it together. 1649 01:17:28,821 --> 01:17:31,455 But I was also right earlier, because I said the miscarriage was fake. 1650 01:17:31,457 --> 01:17:36,059 The amendment stands, and maybe that's a good thing. 1651 01:17:36,061 --> 01:17:39,197 Maybe it's time to grow up a little. 1652 01:17:39,930 --> 01:17:41,830 I'm going to the wedding 1653 01:17:41,832 --> 01:17:46,667 and you guys can do what you want. I hope you come, too. 1654 01:17:46,669 --> 01:17:48,905 Chilli, just put on a tie. 1655 01:17:52,175 --> 01:17:53,209 Sweetie. 1656 01:17:56,745 --> 01:17:58,145 Do you even have a tie? 1657 01:17:58,147 --> 01:17:59,612 Yes, I have a tie. 1658 01:17:59,614 --> 01:18:01,214 - Do you need to borrow a tie? - Yes, I need to borrow a tie. 1659 01:18:01,216 --> 01:18:02,217 Okay. 1660 01:18:44,055 --> 01:18:47,388 Hi! I'm so glad you made it! 1661 01:18:47,390 --> 01:18:48,857 Is that champagne? 1662 01:18:48,859 --> 01:18:51,092 I know. Ugh... (CHUCKLES) 1663 01:18:51,094 --> 01:18:52,993 I'm the girl who cried miscarriage. 1664 01:18:52,995 --> 01:18:54,995 But I had to get him out of that room 1665 01:18:54,997 --> 01:18:56,730 and distract you for a couple of hours 1666 01:18:56,732 --> 01:18:58,365 so that the amendment could kick in. 1667 01:18:58,367 --> 01:18:59,967 Okay. Are you even pregnant? 1668 01:18:59,969 --> 01:19:02,635 - No, I was never pregnant. - You were never pregnant? 1669 01:19:02,637 --> 01:19:04,505 - Whoa. - Wow. 1670 01:19:04,507 --> 01:19:07,373 Just listen. Jerry knew that you guys might get the drop on him 1671 01:19:07,375 --> 01:19:10,376 so "Operation Miscarriage" was our fail-safe. 1672 01:19:10,378 --> 01:19:12,777 - It was an operation? - It was actually my idea. 1673 01:19:12,779 --> 01:19:14,646 - Brilliant. Brilliant! - Aw, thanks. 1674 01:19:14,648 --> 01:19:16,314 That's diabolical. 1675 01:19:16,316 --> 01:19:18,682 Everyone's just pissed because you won, and they're boys, 1676 01:19:18,684 --> 01:19:22,153 they can't get pregnant. So they can't fake a miscarriage. 1677 01:19:22,155 --> 01:19:23,787 - (BOTH CHUCKLE) - It's true. 1678 01:19:23,789 --> 01:19:26,490 Look, I'm not saying I want you to have a miscarriage. 1679 01:19:26,492 --> 01:19:28,425 Then don't. 1680 01:19:28,427 --> 01:19:30,793 'Cause that would be terrible. But if you ever do have a miscarriage, 1681 01:19:30,795 --> 01:19:32,596 I don't wanna say that you would deserve it 1682 01:19:32,598 --> 01:19:36,032 'cause that's too far, but what I will say and what I do feel 1683 01:19:36,034 --> 01:19:38,401 - is that's what you get. - Uh... 1684 01:19:38,403 --> 01:19:41,837 Okay. It's fine. We can all have different feelings. 1685 01:19:41,839 --> 01:19:44,239 But it's our wedding day, you guys. Come on. 1686 01:19:44,241 --> 01:19:46,542 And we came up with this great amendment 1687 01:19:46,544 --> 01:19:51,879 so that we could all enjoy this day together and have fun and relax. 1688 01:19:51,881 --> 01:19:53,314 Are we cool? 1689 01:19:53,316 --> 01:19:55,616 - Yeah, I guess so. - Not yet. 1690 01:19:55,618 --> 01:20:00,420 Sorry. Not cool yet. It's just, you did murder a child. 1691 01:20:00,422 --> 01:20:02,389 - No. - She didn't. No, it was a fake miscarriage. 1692 01:20:02,391 --> 01:20:05,458 Yeah, not the imaginary child that was inside of you 1693 01:20:05,460 --> 01:20:09,596 but the actual inner child that lives inside of me. 1694 01:20:09,598 --> 01:20:11,430 Got decapitated. 1695 01:20:11,432 --> 01:20:15,568 Head flew up, did flips in the air, blood spurting everywhere. 1696 01:20:15,570 --> 01:20:19,070 Hoagie, Jerry has a perfect record 1697 01:20:19,072 --> 01:20:21,206 and we're a team now. 1698 01:20:21,208 --> 01:20:22,507 The winning team. 1699 01:20:22,509 --> 01:20:25,242 And I just feel like, Hoagie, if you're gonna play 1700 01:20:25,244 --> 01:20:28,646 a children's game as a grown man, 1701 01:20:28,648 --> 01:20:31,383 maybe next time don't play like a child. 1702 01:20:33,285 --> 01:20:37,086 Anyways, I am really excited you guys are here. 1703 01:20:37,088 --> 01:20:40,022 Try the raw bar. It's off the hook. 1704 01:20:40,024 --> 01:20:42,090 It's my wedding! I'm getting married! 1705 01:20:42,092 --> 01:20:44,861 - Congratulations. - Come on! Grab it! 1706 01:20:49,366 --> 01:20:53,067 I take back everything I said about her being effervescent. 1707 01:20:53,069 --> 01:20:55,069 I met Jerry in AA. 1708 01:20:55,071 --> 01:20:58,072 You see, people, I got a lot of problems. 1709 01:20:58,074 --> 01:21:03,376 Anger issues, I left my wife, I have many kids. 1710 01:21:03,378 --> 01:21:06,845 And this man got me to turn to the cloth. 1711 01:21:06,847 --> 01:21:08,814 It was a low point in my life. 1712 01:21:08,816 --> 01:21:10,949 There was jail time involved. 1713 01:21:10,951 --> 01:21:13,385 I briefly converted to Islam. 1714 01:21:13,387 --> 01:21:17,723 I lost a long legal battle with Jo-Ann Fabrics. 1715 01:21:17,725 --> 01:21:21,259 During that time I got to know Jerry and Susan as a couple. 1716 01:21:21,261 --> 01:21:22,860 And that is a true blessing. 1717 01:21:22,862 --> 01:21:25,630 What's the difference between Episcopalian and Lutheran? 1718 01:21:25,632 --> 01:21:28,898 Episcopalians don't eat fish. 1719 01:21:28,900 --> 01:21:32,769 That's pescatarian. That's not a religion. 1720 01:21:32,771 --> 01:21:35,106 They're all fanatics. I don't know. 1721 01:21:35,108 --> 01:21:36,640 Remind me again, is it on the kiss 1722 01:21:36,642 --> 01:21:38,340 or after they walk back down the aisle? 1723 01:21:38,342 --> 01:21:41,043 Seriously? You said you'd worked weddings before. 1724 01:21:41,045 --> 01:21:43,379 The kiss, the doves, end of ceremony, 1725 01:21:43,381 --> 01:21:45,115 the groom was very specific about this. 1726 01:21:45,117 --> 01:21:47,716 PASTOR: ...and finds new ways of expressing love 1727 01:21:47,718 --> 01:21:50,985 through the ups and downs of life. 1728 01:21:50,987 --> 01:21:55,055 Susan, do you take Jerry to be your husband? 1729 01:21:55,057 --> 01:21:57,558 Do you promise to love, honor, cherish and protect him, 1730 01:21:57,560 --> 01:22:01,863 forsaking all others, holding only to him, forever more? 1731 01:22:02,498 --> 01:22:03,697 I do. 1732 01:22:03,699 --> 01:22:04,964 Beautiful. 1733 01:22:04,966 --> 01:22:06,866 (WHISPERS) There's gonna be a window. 1734 01:22:06,868 --> 01:22:08,936 - What, sweetie? - The doves. 1735 01:22:09,637 --> 01:22:11,137 What about the doves? 1736 01:22:11,139 --> 01:22:13,372 There's an opening. 1737 01:22:13,374 --> 01:22:15,641 Just relax, honey. 1738 01:22:15,643 --> 01:22:17,477 You seem stressed. 1739 01:22:18,478 --> 01:22:22,213 Jerry, do you take Susan to be your wife? 1740 01:22:22,215 --> 01:22:25,316 Do you promise to love, honor, cherish and protect her, 1741 01:22:25,318 --> 01:22:29,919 forsaking all others, holding only to her, forever more? 1742 01:22:29,921 --> 01:22:31,221 I do. 1743 01:22:31,223 --> 01:22:33,022 I mean, this is actually kind of beautiful. 1744 01:22:33,024 --> 01:22:34,625 It really is, man. 1745 01:22:34,627 --> 01:22:38,063 I now pronounce you husband and wife. 1746 01:22:39,230 --> 01:22:41,366 You may kiss the bride. 1747 01:22:41,965 --> 01:22:44,001 (CROWD CLAPPING) 1748 01:23:19,366 --> 01:23:20,665 (GASPS) 1749 01:23:20,667 --> 01:23:22,235 (SCREAMS) 1750 01:23:24,671 --> 01:23:26,539 (GRUNTS) 1751 01:23:28,440 --> 01:23:30,273 JERRY: Hoagie! SABLE: Go, go, go! 1752 01:23:30,275 --> 01:23:32,609 - Oh, God! Guys, go! - Hoagie! You okay? 1753 01:23:32,611 --> 01:23:34,045 Jesus. 1754 01:23:34,513 --> 01:23:35,878 Hey, man. 1755 01:23:35,880 --> 01:23:37,079 Buddy? 1756 01:23:37,081 --> 01:23:39,615 - You scared away the swans. - Hoagie? 1757 01:23:39,617 --> 01:23:41,250 - Hogan? Hogan. - Hoagie! 1758 01:23:41,252 --> 01:23:43,719 I can't believe that you guys did this. Right now. 1759 01:23:43,721 --> 01:23:47,122 Well, I don't think you get to claim the moral high ground over us, actually. 1760 01:23:47,124 --> 01:23:48,858 Yeah, you're not better than us. 1761 01:23:48,860 --> 01:23:50,325 You and your wife pretended to have a goddamn miscarriage... 1762 01:23:50,327 --> 01:23:52,227 Misunderstanding! Misunderstanding. 1763 01:23:52,229 --> 01:23:54,928 - BOB: Misunderstanding. - In her vagina. 1764 01:23:54,930 --> 01:23:56,263 Wow. Oh, boy. 1765 01:23:56,265 --> 01:23:57,931 Guys, call a doctor! 1766 01:23:57,933 --> 01:23:59,566 - ANNA: Can you hear me? - Buddy? 1767 01:23:59,568 --> 01:24:01,402 - Hey! - Somebody get a doctor! 1768 01:24:01,404 --> 01:24:04,036 - Bud? - He's gone full loss of consciousness. 1769 01:24:04,038 --> 01:24:05,839 That's impressive. 1770 01:24:05,841 --> 01:24:09,208 - Even better than your performance. Right? - I know! It's so good! 1771 01:24:09,210 --> 01:24:11,677 Excuse me, everyone, 1772 01:24:11,679 --> 01:24:13,245 everything's fine. 1773 01:24:13,247 --> 01:24:15,249 Uh... This is all just a game. 1774 01:24:16,817 --> 01:24:18,083 (INDISTINCT ANNOUNCEMENT OVER PA) 1775 01:24:18,085 --> 01:24:19,950 He's still unconscious, but he's stable. 1776 01:24:19,952 --> 01:24:22,687 He really should never have been this active given his condition. 1777 01:24:22,689 --> 01:24:25,458 - You can see him when he wakes up. - Thanks. 1778 01:24:26,659 --> 01:24:28,124 I got this. 1779 01:24:28,126 --> 01:24:30,927 Excuse me, Doctor. Hey, how are ya? 1780 01:24:30,929 --> 01:24:34,397 - Yeah. - Dr. Yoon, is it? 1781 01:24:34,399 --> 01:24:36,232 - Yes. - How do you spell that? 1782 01:24:36,234 --> 01:24:39,602 - You're looking right at it. - I know, but I'm just asking you. 1783 01:24:39,604 --> 01:24:41,503 What exactly are you asking me? 1784 01:24:41,505 --> 01:24:44,107 My friends and I do this thing, it's this really weird game. 1785 01:24:44,109 --> 01:24:46,775 Is there any chance this is all fake, that you could just tell me. 1786 01:24:46,777 --> 01:24:48,777 I won't tell the others. 1787 01:24:48,779 --> 01:24:50,445 Is this fake? 1788 01:24:50,447 --> 01:24:52,413 - This hospital? - The whole thing, yeah. Is it fake? 1789 01:24:52,415 --> 01:24:54,182 That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. 1790 01:24:54,184 --> 01:24:56,049 He told you to say that, right? 1791 01:24:56,051 --> 01:24:58,452 - Look, I gotta prep a surgery. - Will you just do me one quick favor? 1792 01:24:58,454 --> 01:25:00,587 Could you recite the Hippocratic Oath for me? 1793 01:25:00,589 --> 01:25:02,724 That's not a thing doctors memorize. 1794 01:25:05,461 --> 01:25:07,159 Still unsure. 1795 01:25:07,161 --> 01:25:09,395 It's gonna be fine. It's just, it was a lot. 1796 01:25:09,397 --> 01:25:11,864 How does that all happen at a wedding? 1797 01:25:11,866 --> 01:25:13,066 Hey, boss. 1798 01:25:13,634 --> 01:25:14,767 How did that go? 1799 01:25:14,769 --> 01:25:16,134 I'm all turned around. 1800 01:25:16,136 --> 01:25:18,036 About what? 1801 01:25:18,038 --> 01:25:19,804 If he's an actor or if he's not. 1802 01:25:19,806 --> 01:25:23,310 He's not. He's a doctor. We're in a hospital. 1803 01:25:24,276 --> 01:25:26,713 You're drinking the Kool-Aid. 1804 01:25:30,982 --> 01:25:32,351 (SIGHS) 1805 01:25:33,384 --> 01:25:35,752 All right. What do we do? 1806 01:25:35,754 --> 01:25:38,654 Look, Chilli, what's wrong with you? Just go talk to the girl. 1807 01:25:38,656 --> 01:25:40,021 Could be a trap. 1808 01:25:40,023 --> 01:25:42,959 She's here for a friend who is in the hospital. Okay? 1809 01:25:42,961 --> 01:25:44,626 You know I'm right. I'm always right. 1810 01:25:44,628 --> 01:25:47,496 Okay, you're right about this, but you are not always right. 1811 01:25:47,498 --> 01:25:50,130 - Buddy, I'm always right, and you know that it's true. - Bob, you're not always right. 1812 01:25:50,132 --> 01:25:51,800 - 100%... - 1989. 1813 01:25:51,802 --> 01:25:53,434 Oh, come on. 1814 01:25:53,436 --> 01:25:55,269 Ken Griffey, Jr. enters the league, and what do you say? 1815 01:25:55,271 --> 01:25:56,837 He will never be as good as his father. 1816 01:25:56,839 --> 01:25:58,172 And he's better than his father. 1817 01:25:58,174 --> 01:26:00,373 - Where are the rings? - You are so wrong! 1818 01:26:00,375 --> 01:26:03,209 The historical record has proven that I am right. 1819 01:26:03,211 --> 01:26:05,445 You know what? Time will tell. 1820 01:26:05,447 --> 01:26:09,716 You will never admit that you are wrong about anything. 1821 01:26:09,718 --> 01:26:11,784 Come on, it's been a while since we've done this. 1822 01:26:11,786 --> 01:26:14,019 Come here, man. 1823 01:26:14,021 --> 01:26:15,454 This was a fun few days, man. 1824 01:26:15,456 --> 01:26:17,689 - I really missed you. - I missed you, too, man. 1825 01:26:17,691 --> 01:26:20,024 - You want a breath mint? - No, I don't want a breath mint. 1826 01:26:20,026 --> 01:26:21,827 - Stop it. - You want a breath mint? 1827 01:26:21,829 --> 01:26:24,531 I would love a breath mint. I got a gross taste in my mouth. 1828 01:26:31,236 --> 01:26:32,869 Hey, mind if I sit? 1829 01:26:32,871 --> 01:26:34,071 No. 1830 01:26:36,108 --> 01:26:38,008 Thanks for coming. 1831 01:26:38,010 --> 01:26:40,645 - I hope he's okay. - Yeah, me, too. 1832 01:26:44,549 --> 01:26:45,750 Um... 1833 01:26:51,922 --> 01:26:55,723 I don't know if that... We're in a hospital and... 1834 01:26:55,725 --> 01:26:57,157 - You know? - Yes. 1835 01:26:57,159 --> 01:26:59,893 My friend is possibly dying. 1836 01:26:59,895 --> 01:27:04,196 But it feels like a time I need to tell you how I feel about you 1837 01:27:04,198 --> 01:27:07,300 and I am so pumped that your husband's dead. 1838 01:27:07,302 --> 01:27:09,302 - No. - No. 1839 01:27:09,304 --> 01:27:12,139 But I'm really happy to see you, Cheryl. 1840 01:27:13,675 --> 01:27:16,741 You are broke and divorced and, 1841 01:27:16,743 --> 01:27:19,511 - just a fucking mess, really. - Yeah. 1842 01:27:19,513 --> 01:27:21,312 But it's fun to see you, too. 1843 01:27:21,314 --> 01:27:23,314 Good. All right. I'll take that. 1844 01:27:23,316 --> 01:27:26,650 I actually think that... 1845 01:27:26,652 --> 01:27:30,121 I can't believe I'm saying this, but I would see you again. 1846 01:27:30,890 --> 01:27:32,555 - For real? - Yeah. 1847 01:27:32,557 --> 01:27:34,691 - Like a little date. - No, definitely didn't say that. 1848 01:27:34,693 --> 01:27:37,260 - Like a dinner. - Smaller than that. 1849 01:27:37,262 --> 01:27:39,431 - Like a lunch. - How about a snack? 1850 01:27:40,364 --> 01:27:42,464 I'll take what I can get. 1851 01:27:42,466 --> 01:27:46,134 Hoagie, I know you're fucking with me. 1852 01:27:46,136 --> 01:27:52,208 I'm not. I've got a tumor on my liver the size of my right nut. 1853 01:27:54,177 --> 01:27:55,878 Jesus. 1854 01:27:56,613 --> 01:27:58,244 Yeah. 1855 01:27:58,246 --> 01:28:00,480 I know you're fucking with him but what are you doing? What's the plan? 1856 01:28:00,482 --> 01:28:03,416 - Tell us what's going on. - Chilli, there's no plan. 1857 01:28:03,418 --> 01:28:06,453 - What's going on? - There's no plan, Chilli. 1858 01:28:06,455 --> 01:28:08,088 Stop winking at me. 1859 01:28:08,090 --> 01:28:09,789 Think it's real. This looks like it's doing something. 1860 01:28:09,791 --> 01:28:12,257 Something real is happening on this thing right here. 1861 01:28:12,259 --> 01:28:13,826 How long have you known this? 1862 01:28:13,828 --> 01:28:15,126 ANNA: For three weeks. 1863 01:28:15,128 --> 01:28:16,595 Three weeks. 1864 01:28:16,597 --> 01:28:20,198 Right nut. Too specific, I call bullshit. 1865 01:28:20,200 --> 01:28:22,233 That's a lie. Right? It's a lie. 1866 01:28:22,235 --> 01:28:23,468 I'm not lying. 1867 01:28:23,470 --> 01:28:26,971 Although I did lie about one thing. 1868 01:28:26,973 --> 01:28:29,306 Jerry's not quitting at the end of the season. 1869 01:28:29,308 --> 01:28:31,141 What? Why the fuck would I quit? 1870 01:28:31,143 --> 01:28:32,676 Yeah, I said that 1871 01:28:32,678 --> 01:28:35,679 to get everyone together, you know, for one last round. 1872 01:28:35,681 --> 01:28:38,881 Hoagie, tell me you are fucking joking about this. 1873 01:28:38,883 --> 01:28:40,883 Uh... No. 1874 01:28:40,885 --> 01:28:47,457 There is a decent chance I will not be around for next season. 1875 01:28:56,133 --> 01:28:57,333 Damn. 1876 01:28:59,435 --> 01:29:02,535 BOB: And, I mean, plus, even if you were, you'd be, 1877 01:29:02,537 --> 01:29:05,371 - you know. Really slow. - Yeah. 1878 01:29:05,373 --> 01:29:06,973 A total sitting duck. 1879 01:29:06,975 --> 01:29:09,642 Carrying an IV bag around, that's easy... 1880 01:29:09,644 --> 01:29:11,376 I had an uncle that went through chemo, 1881 01:29:11,378 --> 01:29:13,345 and afterwards, he was terrible at games. 1882 01:29:13,347 --> 01:29:17,282 But I guess that makes sense. It would be weird if he got better. 1883 01:29:17,284 --> 01:29:18,950 Then everybody would be getting chemo. 1884 01:29:18,952 --> 01:29:20,788 (ALL CHUCKLE) 1885 01:29:21,955 --> 01:29:24,223 I love you guys. 1886 01:29:25,324 --> 01:29:28,559 Love, I love this game. You know? 1887 01:29:28,561 --> 01:29:32,431 I don't know what it is. It brings out the best in us. 1888 01:29:34,032 --> 01:29:35,832 Except today. 1889 01:29:35,834 --> 01:29:39,002 Today, I don't know. 1890 01:29:39,004 --> 01:29:43,774 I really fucked up your wedding, Jerry, and I am super sorry. 1891 01:29:44,975 --> 01:29:46,508 Jerry? 1892 01:29:46,510 --> 01:29:49,914 - Has he... Has he hung up? - Jerry? 1893 01:29:53,950 --> 01:29:57,754 You didn't fuck up my wedding, Hoagie. Come on. 1894 01:29:58,955 --> 01:30:00,654 - Right? - No. 1895 01:30:00,656 --> 01:30:02,989 You might have ruined a moment. But... 1896 01:30:02,991 --> 01:30:06,358 I screwed it up. You should've been up there with me. 1897 01:30:06,360 --> 01:30:08,195 All you boys should've. 1898 01:30:08,197 --> 01:30:09,762 That's my fault. 1899 01:30:09,764 --> 01:30:11,697 I always thought that you guys were 1900 01:30:11,699 --> 01:30:13,666 just much closer to each other than to me. So... 1901 01:30:13,668 --> 01:30:14,734 What? 1902 01:30:14,736 --> 01:30:16,735 I mean, if it seems like we were closer, 1903 01:30:16,737 --> 01:30:19,604 it's only because we're physically closer 1904 01:30:19,606 --> 01:30:21,107 because you always ran away. 1905 01:30:21,109 --> 01:30:22,640 Successfully. You know, I mean, 1906 01:30:22,642 --> 01:30:24,776 not for nothing, you might actually be 1907 01:30:24,778 --> 01:30:27,344 the very best person at this game on the planet. 1908 01:30:27,346 --> 01:30:29,446 He might be, right? 1909 01:30:29,448 --> 01:30:32,315 Yeah, you're really good at tag. 1910 01:30:32,317 --> 01:30:35,251 Yes, but you've kinda missed the point. 1911 01:30:35,253 --> 01:30:38,588 I mean, it's not about trying to get away from each other. 1912 01:30:38,590 --> 01:30:40,556 It's actually about 1913 01:30:40,558 --> 01:30:43,826 having a reason to be around each other. You know? 1914 01:30:43,828 --> 01:30:45,228 Yeah. 1915 01:30:45,230 --> 01:30:47,829 I mean, Ben Franklin said it best. Am I right? 1916 01:30:47,831 --> 01:30:49,865 "We don't stop playing 'cause we grow old..." 1917 01:30:49,867 --> 01:30:52,067 ALL: "We grow old because we stop playing." 1918 01:30:52,069 --> 01:30:54,735 I been wanting to say for a few years, that quote is not Benjamin Franklin. 1919 01:30:54,737 --> 01:30:57,438 That is German anthropologist Karl Groos. 1920 01:30:57,440 --> 01:30:58,906 Why are you ruining the moment? 1921 01:30:58,908 --> 01:31:00,841 - I don't wanna know that. - He's in the hospital. 1922 01:31:00,843 --> 01:31:02,509 - It felt like the right moment. - It's not the right moment. 1923 01:31:02,511 --> 01:31:03,476 SABLE: It is the right moment. CHILLI: It isn't. 1924 01:31:03,478 --> 01:31:05,013 So, Jerry... 1925 01:31:08,449 --> 01:31:09,816 It's 11:55. 1926 01:31:09,818 --> 01:31:12,553 Get in here, and let me tag you. 1927 01:31:16,857 --> 01:31:18,724 You know, I've been so attached, I suppose, 1928 01:31:18,726 --> 01:31:20,558 to my perfect record all these years, 1929 01:31:20,560 --> 01:31:22,393 dominating you fools. 1930 01:31:22,395 --> 01:31:25,196 Maybe I should. Maybe I shouldn't. 1931 01:31:25,198 --> 01:31:28,966 If you think about it, Jerry is a tag virgin. 1932 01:31:28,968 --> 01:31:30,268 Or champion. 1933 01:31:30,270 --> 01:31:32,270 Just let us deflower you. 1934 01:31:32,272 --> 01:31:33,772 We'll be gentle. 1935 01:31:34,773 --> 01:31:35,774 I can't. 1936 01:31:37,675 --> 01:31:38,676 Come on. 1937 01:31:40,179 --> 01:31:41,777 I can't do it. 1938 01:31:41,779 --> 01:31:45,446 Then I'm not gonna tag anybody and the game ends with me. 1939 01:31:45,448 --> 01:31:46,581 That's dark. 1940 01:31:46,583 --> 01:31:49,053 Or, just let me tag you. 1941 01:31:51,354 --> 01:31:53,089 All right, fuck it. 1942 01:31:59,162 --> 01:32:00,527 - It! - Oh, my God! 1943 01:32:00,529 --> 01:32:02,029 Loser! Loser! 1944 01:32:02,031 --> 01:32:03,464 CHILLI: You suck! 1945 01:32:04,066 --> 01:32:06,532 Awesome. 1946 01:32:06,534 --> 01:32:09,335 - Yes! - You officially suck. 1947 01:32:09,337 --> 01:32:10,570 Aw, you're so it! 1948 01:32:10,572 --> 01:32:12,907 Goddamn! All right! 1949 01:32:14,976 --> 01:32:17,042 I love you guys. 1950 01:32:17,044 --> 01:32:18,445 Love you too, man. 1951 01:32:22,015 --> 01:32:26,617 You know we got five minutes left of May. 1952 01:32:26,619 --> 01:32:29,387 I ain't gonna be last it. Bitches! 1953 01:32:47,972 --> 01:32:49,304 JERRY: Look, Bob! Where are you gonna go, Bob? 1954 01:32:49,306 --> 01:32:50,740 No! 1955 01:32:56,145 --> 01:32:58,915 Verbal amendment? That women should be playing. 1956 01:33:00,382 --> 01:33:02,784 - Amendment. - Yeah, amendment. 1957 01:33:04,820 --> 01:33:07,254 Oh, you just made a big mistake. 1958 01:33:07,256 --> 01:33:08,420 (CHILLI CHUCKLES) 1959 01:33:08,422 --> 01:33:11,056 - You're it, bitch! - You're it now! 1960 01:33:11,058 --> 01:33:12,558 - You're going down! - You're too intense! 1961 01:33:12,560 --> 01:33:14,827 You're gonna suck my tiny ginger balls. 1962 01:33:14,829 --> 01:33:16,228 Gross! 1963 01:33:16,230 --> 01:33:17,462 You're gross! 1964 01:33:17,464 --> 01:33:19,101 (SCREAMS) 1965 01:33:28,241 --> 01:33:29,808 Come on! Shit! No. 1966 01:33:35,147 --> 01:33:37,347 - You're it. - No, I can't get involved in the story. 1967 01:33:37,349 --> 01:33:38,681 We made an amendment! 1968 01:33:38,683 --> 01:33:40,316 Come on, it's a little bit fun right? 1969 01:33:40,318 --> 01:33:41,653 You have about three minutes. 1970 01:33:54,931 --> 01:33:59,166 Sable! Come on. Where are your ethics, buddy? 1971 01:33:59,168 --> 01:34:01,135 Come on. Just reach out. 1972 01:34:01,137 --> 01:34:03,536 - No! - You got it. 1973 01:34:03,538 --> 01:34:04,671 Oh, shit, hang on a second. 1974 01:34:04,673 --> 01:34:05,972 CHILLI: You okay? 1975 01:34:05,974 --> 01:34:07,842 - You all right? - Yeah. 1976 01:34:09,644 --> 01:34:10,946 ANNA: You're it! 1977 01:34:48,113 --> 01:34:49,612 Tag, brother! 1978 01:34:52,383 --> 01:34:54,548 You're it! 1979 01:34:54,550 --> 01:34:57,185 - CAMERAMAN: I'm it? - You're it? 1980 01:34:57,187 --> 01:34:58,552 CAMERAMAN: Now you're it. 1981 01:34:58,554 --> 01:35:01,523 You got me. No way! (LAUGHING) 1982 01:35:03,491 --> 01:35:05,995 - Not bad, huh? Pretty hot? - Wow. 1983 01:35:09,831 --> 01:35:11,132 (GROWLS) 1984 01:35:16,536 --> 01:35:17,902 You're it! 1985 01:35:17,904 --> 01:35:19,139 (SCREAMS) 1986 01:35:21,308 --> 01:35:22,743 Yeah, baby. 1987 01:35:24,211 --> 01:35:26,411 CAMERAMAN: Hey, fucker. You're it! 1988 01:35:26,413 --> 01:35:28,247 (BOTH LAUGHING) 1989 01:35:29,048 --> 01:35:30,850 You're it! Yeah! 1990 01:35:32,051 --> 01:35:33,585 You're it, baby! 1991 01:37:31,057 --> 01:37:36,259 ♪ Once, there was a kid who 1992 01:37:36,261 --> 01:37:40,996 ♪ Got into an accident and couldn't come to school 1993 01:37:40,998 --> 01:37:46,935 ♪ But when he finally came back 1994 01:37:46,937 --> 01:37:54,111 ♪ His hair turned from black into bright white 1995 01:37:55,879 --> 01:37:59,547 ♪ He said that it was from when the cars 1996 01:37:59,549 --> 01:38:04,786 ♪ Had smashed him so hard 1997 01:38:05,720 --> 01:38:08,357 (HUMMING) 1998 01:38:16,164 --> 01:38:20,698 ♪ Once, there was this girl who 1999 01:38:20,700 --> 01:38:26,371 ♪ Wouldn't go and change with the girls in the change room 2000 01:38:26,373 --> 01:38:31,441 ♪ But when they finally made her 2001 01:38:31,443 --> 01:38:38,417 ♪ They saw red marks all over her body 2002 01:38:40,752 --> 01:38:43,818 ♪ She couldn't quite explain it 2003 01:38:43,820 --> 01:38:50,194 ♪ They'd always just been there 2004 01:38:51,595 --> 01:38:54,131 (HUMMING) 2005 01:38:59,302 --> 01:39:01,135 ♪ Yeah 2006 01:39:01,137 --> 01:39:06,174 ♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey Hey, hey, hey, hey 2007 01:39:12,046 --> 01:39:17,316 ♪ Both the girl and the boy were glad 2008 01:39:17,318 --> 01:39:23,022 ♪ 'Cause one kid had it worse than that 2009 01:39:27,460 --> 01:39:29,962 (HUMMING) 2010 01:39:40,372 --> 01:39:44,909 ♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey Hey, hey 2011 01:39:48,346 --> 01:39:53,815 ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah 2012 01:39:53,817 --> 01:39:58,921 ♪ Yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah 2013 01:40:02,024 --> 01:40:03,892 - MAN: You're it. - Fucker! 2014 01:40:03,894 --> 01:40:08,899 Subtitles by explosiveskull Resync by GoldenBeard 152991