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1
00:00:12,756 --> 00:00:15,089
Evening. What can I get you?
2
00:00:15,175 --> 00:00:17,124
Oh, just the usual.
3
00:00:18,762 --> 00:00:20,628
Another long haul tonight?
4
00:00:20,697 --> 00:00:22,764
Oh, roger that, little honey.
5
00:00:22,816 --> 00:00:26,267
You know, talking on the CB,
6
00:00:26,336 --> 00:00:29,537
you know, pulling the little
string to beep the horn.
7
00:00:30,274 --> 00:00:32,407
You know, uh, you've been coming in here
8
00:00:32,476 --> 00:00:34,112
every night since I started here,
9
00:00:34,112 --> 00:00:35,756
so I just wanted to let you know
10
00:00:35,757 --> 00:00:38,301
that tonight is my last night.
11
00:00:38,302 --> 00:00:40,865
Really? Uh, where you going?
12
00:00:40,866 --> 00:00:44,102
Back to my old job.
This was just temporary.
13
00:00:44,188 --> 00:00:45,387
A few months ago,
14
00:00:45,456 --> 00:00:47,181
a coworker and I were suspended for...
15
00:00:47,182 --> 00:00:49,341
I don't need to hear the details!
16
00:00:49,426 --> 00:00:50,384
Thank you.
17
00:00:51,395 --> 00:00:53,256
I've got this manager,
18
00:00:54,214 --> 00:00:54,972
great guy.
19
00:00:55,649 --> 00:00:56,304
Aw.
20
00:00:57,328 --> 00:00:59,072
I bet he misses you.
21
00:01:00,304 --> 00:01:01,920
I bet he would have done anything
22
00:01:02,005 --> 00:01:03,805
to see you while you were gone.
23
00:01:03,874 --> 00:01:07,025
He was allowed to see me if he wanted.
24
00:01:07,111 --> 00:01:10,879
Yeah... better safe than sorry.
25
00:01:10,948 --> 00:01:12,430
You know, um...
26
00:01:13,467 --> 00:01:16,365
Well, I better get back to the big rig.
27
00:01:16,366 --> 00:01:18,536
You know, the road is calling.
28
00:01:19,757 --> 00:01:21,705
Thanks for the company.
29
00:01:23,060 --> 00:01:24,826
Yep, and, um...
30
00:01:24,895 --> 00:01:28,797
thank you for always tipping 20 bucks
31
00:01:28,866 --> 00:01:30,966
on a $2 coffee that you never drink.
32
00:01:31,034 --> 00:01:34,138
Yeah... ten-four, good buddy.
33
00:01:35,351 --> 00:01:38,573
Hope I get to see you around sometime.
34
00:01:39,261 --> 00:01:40,325
Who knows?
35
00:01:40,838 --> 00:01:42,985
Might be sooner than you think.
36
00:01:50,158 --> 00:01:51,483
Attention, Cloud 9 shoppers...
37
00:01:51,484 --> 00:01:52,959
it's "back to school" time,
38
00:01:52,960 --> 00:01:55,253
so check out our discounts on notebooks,
39
00:01:55,254 --> 00:01:57,441
pencils, art supplies, rulers,
40
00:01:57,442 --> 00:02:00,467
dictionaries, weekly
planners, and calculators.
41
00:02:00,536 --> 00:02:03,546
Or you guys can just use
your phones for all that stuff.
42
00:02:04,306 --> 00:02:07,023
At least Black Friday's only a day.
43
00:02:07,109 --> 00:02:09,342
This... this is two weeks
44
00:02:09,411 --> 00:02:11,495
of watching ugly kids try on pants.
45
00:02:11,496 --> 00:02:13,832
And I cannot wait for all the crap
46
00:02:13,833 --> 00:02:15,837
we're gonna get for our sex tape.
47
00:02:15,838 --> 00:02:18,351
Was it a sex tape?
48
00:02:18,403 --> 00:02:20,868
'Cause it wasn't on tape.
49
00:02:20,869 --> 00:02:23,315
It was more like a sex stream.
50
00:02:23,316 --> 00:02:25,128
Oh no, sex stream is something else.
51
00:02:25,128 --> 00:02:26,778
That involves a stepladder and a tarp.
52
00:02:26,847 --> 00:02:28,146
Everyone's gonna be like,
53
00:02:28,215 --> 00:02:30,481
"Oh, better keep these two
out of the photo lab."
54
00:02:30,567 --> 00:02:33,017
Or like, "Uh, why aren't
you guys together now?"
55
00:02:33,086 --> 00:02:34,652
Is that supposed to be me?
56
00:02:34,688 --> 00:02:35,987
What? No.
57
00:02:36,056 --> 00:02:37,506
Oh, okay.
58
00:02:38,692 --> 00:02:40,758
Why aren't you guys together now?
59
00:02:40,794 --> 00:02:43,140
Like, if some dummy asks
that question...
60
00:02:43,297 --> 00:02:44,729
what would you say to her?
61
00:02:44,798 --> 00:02:46,231
I don't know... for starters,
62
00:02:46,299 --> 00:02:48,629
the fact that I'm extremely pregnant
63
00:02:48,630 --> 00:02:50,596
with my ex-husband's child
is not a great time
64
00:02:50,665 --> 00:02:52,031
to start a new relationship.
65
00:02:52,099 --> 00:02:53,899
I'm not letting my
pregnancy slow me down.
66
00:02:53,968 --> 00:02:56,185
I'm banging my way through
my whole indoor-soccer team...
67
00:02:56,830 --> 00:02:57,803
and the refs.
68
00:02:57,872 --> 00:02:59,471
If you do decide to have sex again,
69
00:02:59,642 --> 00:03:00,969
just check for cameras.
70
00:03:01,040 --> 00:03:01,534
We're not...
71
00:03:01,535 --> 00:03:03,442
Or have sex on a green sheet.
72
00:03:03,477 --> 00:03:05,651
That way, you can superimpose yourself
73
00:03:05,652 --> 00:03:08,747
doing it on a magic
carpet or in outer space.
74
00:03:09,176 --> 00:03:10,783
Bo did that for our anniversary.
75
00:03:10,818 --> 00:03:12,384
The bed of my truck is always available.
76
00:03:12,470 --> 00:03:14,195
I'm happy to drive
around the whole time.
77
00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:16,288
Less likely somebody will film you.
78
00:03:17,033 --> 00:03:19,858
These are all excellent
ideas, thank you.
79
00:03:21,253 --> 00:03:23,262
So Amy and Jonah are back.
80
00:03:23,263 --> 00:03:25,736
That's got to be a real
kick in your crotch.
81
00:03:25,928 --> 00:03:27,328
No, it's fine.
82
00:03:27,528 --> 00:03:30,045
I mean, I thought that
it would feel weird
83
00:03:30,114 --> 00:03:31,313
to see Jonah again,
84
00:03:31,382 --> 00:03:33,632
but I actually think that I'm over it.
85
00:03:34,259 --> 00:03:35,290
You're over it.
86
00:03:36,187 --> 00:03:37,651
That's boring.
87
00:03:38,823 --> 00:03:39,791
Uh...
88
00:03:40,925 --> 00:03:43,125
thanks for checking in, though!
89
00:03:50,534 --> 00:03:53,101
Okay. So, Sara, I need you to
keep cycling out the bins.
90
00:03:53,170 --> 00:03:55,391
Mateo, if you could move
salvage off the floor,
91
00:03:55,391 --> 00:03:56,913
you can just stick it in the...
92
00:03:57,591 --> 00:03:59,041
in the p-photo lab.
93
00:03:59,109 --> 00:04:00,809
Photo lab. Okay, you got it.
94
00:04:03,614 --> 00:04:05,768
Okay. Um...
95
00:04:06,517 --> 00:04:08,851
Carol and Justine, I'm moving
you to school supplies.
96
00:04:08,886 --> 00:04:10,502
We need to keep everything
organized this year,
97
00:04:10,588 --> 00:04:12,321
or we're gonna get screwed.
98
00:04:12,389 --> 00:04:15,419
Okay. Sorry, that was
a poor choice of words.
99
00:04:15,419 --> 00:04:18,493
- School supplies! Got it.
- Sure thing, Amy.
100
00:04:19,230 --> 00:04:20,229
Okay...
101
00:04:22,393 --> 00:04:23,398
Um...
102
00:04:23,467 --> 00:04:26,850
let's just make sure that everything
is restocked at all times.
103
00:04:26,851 --> 00:04:30,129
We... we don't want to get caught
with our pants down.
104
00:04:30,411 --> 00:04:31,323
- Mm.
- Mm.
105
00:04:33,137 --> 00:04:34,042
Huh.
106
00:04:35,002 --> 00:04:35,891
What's so funny?
107
00:04:35,892 --> 00:04:37,718
No, nothing's funny. Nothing's funny.
108
00:04:37,719 --> 00:04:40,030
This is going so much
better than I thought.
109
00:04:40,031 --> 00:04:42,626
You're literally just reading
words off a clipboard.
110
00:04:43,768 --> 00:04:46,130
Oh, hey, no, no, no, no, no.
111
00:04:46,196 --> 00:04:47,603
Have you met J-Bone?
112
00:04:47,604 --> 00:04:50,132
Oh, we're calling you J-Bone now?
113
00:04:50,200 --> 00:04:51,177
This makes me happy.
114
00:04:51,178 --> 00:04:54,526
- This guy shreds ass.
- Mm-hmm.
115
00:04:54,527 --> 00:04:56,750
You want to learn how to
shred ass, you go see J-Bone.
116
00:04:56,751 --> 00:05:00,375
I-I'm not... there's... better people.
117
00:05:00,410 --> 00:05:02,439
Hey! So give us the scoop, J-Bone.
118
00:05:02,440 --> 00:05:04,509
Sex with Amy, was it awesome?
119
00:05:04,510 --> 00:05:05,897
You know, I...
120
00:05:05,983 --> 00:05:07,549
we don't really need to talk about this.
121
00:05:07,618 --> 00:05:08,950
Why? 'Cause the sex sucked?
122
00:05:08,986 --> 00:05:10,719
It did kind of look like it sucked.
123
00:05:10,804 --> 00:05:12,120
No, it didn't suck. It...
124
00:05:12,206 --> 00:05:14,689
Yeah! I knew it! I knew it didn't suck!
125
00:05:14,758 --> 00:05:17,626
Oh, yeah! Yeah, baby!
126
00:05:17,694 --> 00:05:19,127
- You get it, girl.
- Yeah! In and out!
127
00:05:19,179 --> 00:05:20,996
Your body is a wonderland!
128
00:05:21,031 --> 00:05:23,064
You're enjoying this sex, aren't you?
129
00:05:23,133 --> 00:05:24,633
Mateo!
130
00:05:24,701 --> 00:05:26,434
Ugh. He's back.
131
00:05:26,503 --> 00:05:28,431
Oh, he's such a thirsty bitch.
132
00:05:28,447 --> 00:05:28,870
I know...
133
00:05:28,939 --> 00:05:30,472
Hey, there he is!
134
00:05:30,541 --> 00:05:32,822
At first, I was like, "Is that
Mateo or the Rock?"
135
00:05:32,838 --> 00:05:33,608
Hi, Jeff.
136
00:05:33,677 --> 00:05:36,096
What brings you to the store... again?
137
00:05:36,097 --> 00:05:37,886
Yeah, for someone who
works at corporate,
138
00:05:37,886 --> 00:05:38,847
you're here a lot.
139
00:05:38,932 --> 00:05:41,189
Well, I'm not gonna
forget about my peeps
140
00:05:41,278 --> 00:05:42,384
just 'cause I got promoted.
141
00:05:42,452 --> 00:05:44,219
I mean, I can still
stop by now and then.
142
00:05:44,856 --> 00:05:47,495
Isn't it, like, a five-hour
drive from Chicago?
143
00:05:47,674 --> 00:05:49,708
Not on a corporate jet.
144
00:05:51,180 --> 00:05:52,630
Which I didn't take this time,
145
00:05:52,665 --> 00:05:54,565
but I have seen the corporate jet.
146
00:05:54,650 --> 00:05:55,823
Really cool wings.
147
00:05:56,669 --> 00:05:59,470
Anyway, uh, if you guys ever
wanted to come visit me,
148
00:05:59,539 --> 00:06:01,238
I'd love to show you around Chi-Town.
149
00:06:01,307 --> 00:06:03,190
They've got some great museums, I think,
150
00:06:03,276 --> 00:06:05,009
and, you know, if it's a fun night,
151
00:06:05,078 --> 00:06:06,221
I've got a big place,
you could stay over...
152
00:06:06,222 --> 00:06:08,139
Jeff, I've moved on.
153
00:06:08,140 --> 00:06:10,448
Okay, I've moved on, too.
154
00:06:10,516 --> 00:06:13,317
God, get over yourself.
155
00:06:13,386 --> 00:06:14,721
I am doing very well.
156
00:06:16,255 --> 00:06:17,988
So, anyways, let me give
you guys my business card.
157
00:06:18,040 --> 00:06:20,057
Just give me a call for...
any reason is fine, of course.
158
00:06:20,126 --> 00:06:22,026
I'm always here to help.
159
00:06:24,612 --> 00:06:25,633
Are you not gonna...
160
00:06:25,634 --> 00:06:27,309
Only 'cause if...
161
00:06:27,310 --> 00:06:29,098
I get a finite amount,
and they eventually...
162
00:06:29,099 --> 00:06:30,055
It starts to come out of my paycheck.
163
00:06:30,056 --> 00:06:32,835
You know, I'm gonna go ahead
and take it back now. Okay.
164
00:06:34,372 --> 00:06:37,807
Well, well, look at you,
back at it, huh?
165
00:06:37,892 --> 00:06:41,315
God, no one can stack things
in a pile like my gal Amy.
166
00:06:41,550 --> 00:06:43,579
You know, I thought it was going to be
167
00:06:43,664 --> 00:06:46,382
nonstop people talking
about the... incident.
168
00:06:46,451 --> 00:06:48,407
But no one's even mentioning it.
169
00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:50,219
Of course not.
170
00:06:50,288 --> 00:06:52,121
There's no need for people
to bring up something
171
00:06:52,190 --> 00:06:53,974
that you're already embarrassed about.
172
00:06:53,975 --> 00:06:55,424
Yeah, but when we found out
173
00:06:55,460 --> 00:06:57,076
Gene was having sex on his lunch break,
174
00:06:57,161 --> 00:06:59,094
people called him
Sex-Ma-Gene for a year.
175
00:06:59,095 --> 00:07:01,057
I mean, it barely made
sense, but it stuck.
176
00:07:01,058 --> 00:07:03,332
Yeah. I know, but come on,
that's different,
177
00:07:03,401 --> 00:07:06,302
Sex-Ma-Gene's a guy.
It's less embarrassing for him.
178
00:07:06,371 --> 00:07:09,305
Um... that's... that's sexist.
179
00:07:09,374 --> 00:07:13,442
No. No. No, no, no,
I-I did not mean that
180
00:07:13,528 --> 00:07:14,927
in a sexist way.
181
00:07:15,012 --> 00:07:16,712
What you're saying is that
182
00:07:16,781 --> 00:07:19,415
no one is talking to me
about the whole sex thing
183
00:07:19,484 --> 00:07:21,851
because they think, as a woman,
184
00:07:21,919 --> 00:07:24,286
I must be filled with shame about it.
185
00:07:25,232 --> 00:07:26,195
Maybe...
186
00:07:27,191 --> 00:07:28,462
or maybe I'm wrong!
187
00:07:28,463 --> 00:07:30,092
I don't know. I mean,
things are changing.
188
00:07:31,086 --> 00:07:33,763
I haven't really caught up
with this whole MeToo thing.
189
00:07:33,831 --> 00:07:36,565
All I know is that one day
Charlie Rose was there,
190
00:07:36,634 --> 00:07:39,201
and the next day he wasn't.
191
00:07:42,519 --> 00:07:44,025
- Hey.
- Hey.
192
00:07:44,032 --> 00:07:45,796
Are people talking to you
about the sex tape?
193
00:07:45,797 --> 00:07:47,390
Oh, my God, it's nonstop.
194
00:07:47,475 --> 00:07:49,358
No one has said anything to me.
195
00:07:49,394 --> 00:07:51,308
Oh. That's cool.
196
00:07:51,778 --> 00:07:52,811
No. It sucks.
197
00:07:53,415 --> 00:07:55,317
But I thought you don't want
people to talk about it.
198
00:07:55,317 --> 00:07:56,114
I don't.
199
00:07:56,765 --> 00:07:59,285
- And people aren't talking about it.
- Right...
200
00:07:59,370 --> 00:08:01,787
So... you win?
201
00:08:01,873 --> 00:08:03,706
No! It's messed up.
202
00:08:03,741 --> 00:08:05,954
Why should I be ashamed
of having sex with you?
203
00:08:05,955 --> 00:08:07,243
- You shouldn't.
- I know!
204
00:08:07,328 --> 00:08:09,378
- You should be proud!
- Yes!
205
00:08:09,414 --> 00:08:12,037
No! No. Not because of this...
206
00:08:12,302 --> 00:08:13,582
because it's a double standard.
207
00:08:14,136 --> 00:08:17,053
So, for men, sex is, like,
an accomplishment.
208
00:08:17,076 --> 00:08:19,743
And for women, it's that
I got taken advantage of?
209
00:08:19,829 --> 00:08:22,162
Trust me, you do not want to
have the day that I'm having.
210
00:08:22,248 --> 00:08:25,966
They... they keep, like,
like, thrusting their pelvises
211
00:08:26,001 --> 00:08:27,668
and calling me J-Bone.
212
00:08:28,210 --> 00:08:31,358
You have a nickname?
I didn't get a nickname.
213
00:08:31,360 --> 00:08:32,774
I feel like you're missing the point.
214
00:08:32,775 --> 00:08:36,425
If you're J-Bone,
then I want to be A... hole.
215
00:08:38,631 --> 00:08:39,346
You... you sure?
216
00:08:41,971 --> 00:08:43,684
Obviously not.
217
00:08:43,769 --> 00:08:45,269
See you around, A-hole.
218
00:08:45,354 --> 00:08:46,323
Shut up!
219
00:08:47,106 --> 00:08:49,523
I mean, it's like he's mad
at me for no reason at all.
220
00:08:49,608 --> 00:08:51,074
He's not mad at you for no reason.
221
00:08:51,160 --> 00:08:53,026
He's mad at you because
you sold out Myrtle
222
00:08:53,112 --> 00:08:54,093
for a corporate job.
223
00:08:54,094 --> 00:08:55,454
But... Well...
224
00:08:55,998 --> 00:08:57,164
You guys don't hate me.
225
00:08:57,497 --> 00:08:59,272
Oh, yeah, we do. We all hate you.
226
00:08:59,835 --> 00:09:00,996
Okay, fine.
227
00:09:00,997 --> 00:09:03,670
Um, what can I do
to make it up to you guys?
228
00:09:03,706 --> 00:09:05,205
Give Myrtle her job back.
229
00:09:05,291 --> 00:09:06,874
I don't have the power to do that.
230
00:09:06,959 --> 00:09:10,344
I'm not even allowed to spend more than
$12 on lunch without authorization.
231
00:09:10,904 --> 00:09:12,896
There's got to be something I can do
232
00:09:12,897 --> 00:09:15,378
to make you guys love me
the way you used to.
233
00:09:15,379 --> 00:09:17,499
Um, we never loved you, so...
234
00:09:17,500 --> 00:09:21,565
Wait! Why... why wouldn't... why not?
235
00:09:22,144 --> 00:09:23,367
We don't know what you're talking about.
236
00:09:23,368 --> 00:09:25,291
Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up.
237
00:09:25,789 --> 00:09:27,382
Okay, I can't get you Myrtle,
238
00:09:27,383 --> 00:09:29,330
but I can get you something better.
239
00:09:29,331 --> 00:09:31,298
Just get ready, okay?
240
00:09:34,144 --> 00:09:35,213
For the surprise!
241
00:09:36,981 --> 00:09:38,165
This afternoon!
242
00:09:42,930 --> 00:09:45,138
I saw some kids getting
high on the markers.
243
00:09:45,139 --> 00:09:46,513
- Mm-hmm.
- Is it my job to stop them?
244
00:09:46,514 --> 00:09:48,812
Nope, just recap the markers
when they're done.
245
00:09:48,813 --> 00:09:51,085
Hey guys! Excuse me.
246
00:09:51,086 --> 00:09:53,516
Um, could we just gather around
247
00:09:53,518 --> 00:09:54,934
for a quick sec?
248
00:09:55,339 --> 00:10:00,335
Um... I know that everyone is
walking on eggshells around me.
249
00:10:00,648 --> 00:10:02,757
And I just want you to know,
250
00:10:02,758 --> 00:10:07,166
that I am not embarrassed
that I had sex.
251
00:10:07,167 --> 00:10:09,522
Oh, Amy, sure you're not, sweetie.
252
00:10:09,523 --> 00:10:11,808
- You don't have to say that.
- No, I mean it!
253
00:10:12,466 --> 00:10:14,683
Guess what, people... I have sex.
254
00:10:15,281 --> 00:10:16,759
And I like having sex.
255
00:10:17,558 --> 00:10:20,690
There's nothing wrong with
someone liking and having sex.
256
00:10:20,691 --> 00:10:22,637
Yeah! Even a woman, believe it or not!
257
00:10:22,638 --> 00:10:24,828
Take notes, young man,
the future is female.
258
00:10:24,829 --> 00:10:25,762
And I get it!
259
00:10:26,465 --> 00:10:28,084
Okay! Well, that's it.
260
00:10:28,085 --> 00:10:30,095
That's all I wanted to say, so...
261
00:10:30,096 --> 00:10:31,978
I'm gonna go back to work now,
262
00:10:31,979 --> 00:10:35,658
and I will be thinking
about sex, if I want to.
263
00:10:36,323 --> 00:10:39,681
Got sex on my mind,
and my mind on my sex!
264
00:10:40,959 --> 00:10:42,508
Aren't you a little child?
265
00:10:50,408 --> 00:10:52,257
It doesn't matter
what the surprise is, okay?
266
00:10:52,258 --> 00:10:54,643
I'm not getting back together with him.
It's over.
267
00:10:54,650 --> 00:10:56,662
I bet Jeff's getting us a taco truck.
268
00:10:56,663 --> 00:10:59,231
Ooh, or maybe an ice cream truck.
269
00:10:59,232 --> 00:11:01,355
Ooh, I hope it's a pizza truck.
270
00:11:01,356 --> 00:11:03,367
Sorry, guys, kind of a pizza freak.
271
00:11:03,368 --> 00:11:05,909
Everyone loves pizza, so
it's not a personality trait.
272
00:11:05,910 --> 00:11:08,614
Here's a crazy idea...
what if it's not a food truck?
273
00:11:08,615 --> 00:11:11,369
Ooh, maybe he's gonna give
us each, like, $50.
274
00:11:11,757 --> 00:11:13,957
Maybe he's planning on murdering Mateo.
275
00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:16,083
Think about it, big surprise,
276
00:11:16,084 --> 00:11:17,672
nobody's gonna see it coming.
277
00:11:17,673 --> 00:11:20,394
I mean, If anybody was gonna
snap, it'd be that guy.
278
00:11:20,395 --> 00:11:22,355
Okay, so it's either a snack,
279
00:11:22,534 --> 00:11:25,009
an arbitrary amount of
money, or Mateo dies.
280
00:11:25,236 --> 00:11:27,622
I guess it's got to be
one of those three things.
281
00:11:27,707 --> 00:11:29,068
- Mm.
- It's got to be.
282
00:11:29,069 --> 00:11:31,342
Shredder!
283
00:11:31,378 --> 00:11:32,381
All right, okay.
284
00:11:32,382 --> 00:11:34,624
Hey, man, this guy shreds ass!
285
00:11:34,625 --> 00:11:35,880
Sorry, I...
286
00:11:35,966 --> 00:11:37,093
Guys, stop, all right?
287
00:11:37,094 --> 00:11:38,749
You know what? It's... it's demeaning.
288
00:11:38,750 --> 00:11:42,442
You guys are acting like sex
was something I did to Amy.
289
00:11:42,443 --> 00:11:43,606
You know, like I conquered her.
290
00:11:43,607 --> 00:11:45,208
- Oh!
- Yeah, you did!
291
00:11:45,209 --> 00:11:47,416
All hail J-Bone, the conqueror!
292
00:11:47,417 --> 00:11:49,807
I feel like you're grasping
on to the wrong words here.
293
00:11:49,808 --> 00:11:52,699
Uh, Amy was an equal participant, okay?
294
00:11:52,700 --> 00:11:54,899
So all also hail Amy,
295
00:11:54,985 --> 00:11:57,800
the mutual intercourse partner!
296
00:11:57,801 --> 00:11:59,838
- Uh...
- We'll handle the nicknames.
297
00:11:59,839 --> 00:12:01,700
You just keep shredding, shredder.
298
00:12:01,701 --> 00:12:02,502
Yeah.
299
00:12:03,627 --> 00:12:06,367
Hey, is your favorite movie
"Waking Shred Devine"?
300
00:12:06,864 --> 00:12:11,082
That's what she shred.
301
00:12:13,863 --> 00:12:15,349
Excuse me, Amy?
302
00:12:15,350 --> 00:12:16,909
- Yeah?
- I just wanted to say...
303
00:12:16,910 --> 00:12:20,017
I totally get what you were
saying before about liking sex.
304
00:12:20,677 --> 00:12:22,120
I think that's really cool.
305
00:12:23,625 --> 00:12:25,232
Okay. Thank you.
306
00:12:26,679 --> 00:12:27,245
So...
307
00:12:27,905 --> 00:12:30,156
do you want to, like, do it?
308
00:12:31,938 --> 00:12:33,321
Excuse me?
309
00:12:33,406 --> 00:12:34,242
I have a condom.
310
00:12:34,243 --> 00:12:36,941
Oh, my God! No! No!
311
00:12:37,027 --> 00:12:38,902
But you said you like sex.
312
00:12:39,696 --> 00:12:40,886
Not with you.
313
00:12:42,425 --> 00:12:44,308
No, no. No. Don't...
314
00:12:44,730 --> 00:12:47,764
Um, Noam, don't cry.
315
00:12:48,038 --> 00:12:49,504
I'm not crying.
316
00:12:51,295 --> 00:12:52,495
I don't even like you!
317
00:12:55,162 --> 00:12:57,484
Noam, it's okay, come out!
318
00:12:57,632 --> 00:12:59,935
No. Can someone call my mom
319
00:12:59,935 --> 00:13:01,268
or my stepdad's work number?
320
00:13:01,303 --> 00:13:02,936
Your mom's at the dentist,
321
00:13:02,971 --> 00:13:05,021
and your stepdad said
that he doesn't care.
322
00:13:05,107 --> 00:13:06,106
Okay.
323
00:13:06,141 --> 00:13:08,775
Noam? Sweetie?
324
00:13:08,810 --> 00:13:11,144
You're gonna come out
of that tent, okay, hon?
325
00:13:11,230 --> 00:13:14,781
Now, whether you're conscious
or unconscious is up to you.
326
00:13:14,816 --> 00:13:17,150
Are you really gonna throw
a bug bomb in there?
327
00:13:17,236 --> 00:13:18,785
No!
328
00:13:18,820 --> 00:13:20,153
Yeah, I am.
329
00:13:20,239 --> 00:13:21,288
What happened?
330
00:13:21,323 --> 00:13:22,789
Oh, Noam assaulted Amy,
331
00:13:22,824 --> 00:13:24,291
and now he won't come out of the tent.
332
00:13:24,326 --> 00:13:25,292
- What?
- No...
333
00:13:25,327 --> 00:13:26,710
it was not an assault,
334
00:13:26,795 --> 00:13:28,879
it was a... misunderstanding.
335
00:13:28,964 --> 00:13:30,130
Exactly!
336
00:13:30,165 --> 00:13:32,385
And misunderstandings can't be assault.
337
00:13:32,549 --> 00:13:34,000
Well... they can.
338
00:13:34,086 --> 00:13:36,219
Yes, they can, and they usually are.
339
00:13:36,305 --> 00:13:38,255
Attention, employees...
make your way to the break room
340
00:13:38,340 --> 00:13:39,839
for a harassment meeting.
341
00:13:39,925 --> 00:13:41,641
Shoppers, go about your business.
342
00:13:41,677 --> 00:13:43,226
This is a private matter
343
00:13:43,312 --> 00:13:45,812
concerning our floor manager,
Amy, and a 14-year-old boy.
344
00:13:45,847 --> 00:13:48,098
Dina, please, can we just not?
345
00:13:48,183 --> 00:13:49,983
I-I was hoping to get
through my first day
346
00:13:50,018 --> 00:13:51,332
without a harassment meeting.
347
00:13:51,333 --> 00:13:53,320
Oh, you should have started
up last Friday.
348
00:13:53,355 --> 00:13:55,772
We didn't need any harassment
meetings last Friday.
349
00:13:55,857 --> 00:13:57,324
Perfect swish.
350
00:13:57,359 --> 00:14:00,160
Hey, guys, he's not coming out.
351
00:14:00,195 --> 00:14:03,330
Well, then we can't
do this meeting. Bummer.
352
00:14:03,365 --> 00:14:06,166
I got this. Giuseppe! Alex!
353
00:14:06,684 --> 00:14:09,235
Giuseppe W.! Everybody grab a corner.
354
00:14:09,410 --> 00:14:10,754
We're taking this thing
to the break room.
355
00:14:10,839 --> 00:14:12,956
Hey, uh, Glenn, should we all
356
00:14:13,041 --> 00:14:14,841
really be leaving the floor
during back to school?
357
00:14:14,876 --> 00:14:16,343
I mean, come on, that's like...
358
00:14:16,378 --> 00:14:18,178
that's like playing
the Super Bowl with only...
359
00:14:18,213 --> 00:14:19,930
uh, with fewer players
360
00:14:20,015 --> 00:14:21,932
than a football team
would normally have.
361
00:14:22,017 --> 00:14:23,350
Good point.
362
00:14:23,385 --> 00:14:25,719
Okay, we'll leave a skeleton crew.
363
00:14:25,804 --> 00:14:28,355
Kelly! You're in charge.
364
00:14:29,158 --> 00:14:30,890
Of... the store?
365
00:14:38,900 --> 00:14:39,833
We'll make this quick.
366
00:14:39,901 --> 00:14:41,201
There was an incident
367
00:14:41,270 --> 00:14:44,120
relating to a sexual proposition
368
00:14:44,206 --> 00:14:46,740
between Amy and another employee.
369
00:14:46,825 --> 00:14:48,208
No need to name names.
370
00:14:48,243 --> 00:14:49,993
It was Noam.
371
00:14:50,078 --> 00:14:51,378
- Who?
- Noam.
372
00:14:51,413 --> 00:14:54,047
- Oh. Hi, Noam.
- Hi.
373
00:14:54,082 --> 00:14:56,049
Do you want me to get
the harassment video?
374
00:14:56,084 --> 00:14:58,051
Oh, no, the old videos
don't apply anymore.
375
00:14:58,086 --> 00:15:01,471
We are living in a brave, new,
MeToo, Time's Up,
376
00:15:01,556 --> 00:15:03,506
"This Is Us" kind of world.
377
00:15:03,592 --> 00:15:05,058
There are no rules anymore.
378
00:15:05,093 --> 00:15:07,427
But also, there's nothing but rules.
379
00:15:07,512 --> 00:15:09,813
Wait. So Amy banged Noam, too?
380
00:15:09,898 --> 00:15:11,931
No! God, no, nothing happened.
381
00:15:12,017 --> 00:15:14,517
Good, 'cause he's
a child. He can't consent.
382
00:15:14,603 --> 00:15:16,903
They say consent is irrelevant.
383
00:15:16,938 --> 00:15:18,738
I think you mean "intent is irrelevant."
384
00:15:18,774 --> 00:15:21,176
Consent is pretty much the whole point.
385
00:15:21,177 --> 00:15:24,110
Also, she's a supervisor,
so double illegal.
386
00:15:24,196 --> 00:15:25,445
So was it illegal
387
00:15:25,530 --> 00:15:27,113
when Amy forced Jonah
to have sex with her?
388
00:15:27,199 --> 00:15:29,532
Nobody forced me to have sex with them.
389
00:15:29,618 --> 00:15:31,751
But you might have felt
like you couldn't say no
390
00:15:31,787 --> 00:15:33,370
because Amy was in the power position.
391
00:15:33,455 --> 00:15:35,422
Nuh-uh, Jonah was on top.
392
00:15:35,457 --> 00:15:37,007
Does it matter who's on top?
393
00:15:37,092 --> 00:15:39,175
- It really doesn't.
- It really does.
394
00:15:39,261 --> 00:15:42,996
I like reverse cowgirl
because there's no eye contact.
395
00:15:44,850 --> 00:15:45,927
Cool info.
396
00:15:46,468 --> 00:15:49,803
Does anybody know what a "DCPI" is?
397
00:15:49,888 --> 00:15:54,274
Or "Quadrant 12"? Where is Quadrant 12?
398
00:15:54,309 --> 00:15:55,626
Oh, Dan!
399
00:15:56,311 --> 00:15:58,445
Dan, are you going to Quadrant 12?
400
00:15:59,162 --> 00:16:00,030
Dan!
401
00:16:00,115 --> 00:16:02,148
Is this a MeToo situation?
402
00:16:02,234 --> 00:16:04,367
Because who MeToo'd who?
403
00:16:04,453 --> 00:16:07,153
I mean, Jonah's the man,
but Amy's the one in charge.
404
00:16:07,239 --> 00:16:09,989
A woman can't take advantage of a man.
405
00:16:10,075 --> 00:16:12,409
Hey! Amy can force
an underling to have sex
406
00:16:12,494 --> 00:16:13,960
just as easily as a man!
407
00:16:13,995 --> 00:16:15,412
- Right!
- What?
408
00:16:15,497 --> 00:16:18,529
I mean, I didn't,
and I wouldn't, but I could.
409
00:16:18,530 --> 00:16:20,917
- And she will.
- Yeah, that was not my point.
410
00:16:21,002 --> 00:16:22,302
Hey, I'm trying really
hard to defend you,
411
00:16:22,337 --> 00:16:23,553
but you're making it pretty tough.
412
00:16:23,638 --> 00:16:25,055
This isn't harassment.
413
00:16:25,140 --> 00:16:27,223
Jonah and Amy are meant for each other.
414
00:16:27,309 --> 00:16:28,308
Then why aren't they together?
415
00:16:28,343 --> 00:16:29,592
I know, right?
416
00:16:29,678 --> 00:16:31,594
Maybe the sex was bad. It looked bad.
417
00:16:31,680 --> 00:16:33,063
Guys, we shouldn't be talking
418
00:16:33,148 --> 00:16:34,147
about this in front of Amy.
419
00:16:34,182 --> 00:16:35,899
No! That is...
420
00:16:35,984 --> 00:16:38,017
Okay, you guys want to talk
about what happened?
421
00:16:38,103 --> 00:16:39,152
Let's talk about it.
422
00:16:39,187 --> 00:16:40,487
What do you want to know?
423
00:16:40,522 --> 00:16:41,988
Don't fall for it. It's a trick.
424
00:16:42,023 --> 00:16:43,573
No, no, no. I'm serious!
425
00:16:43,658 --> 00:16:46,985
Let's just get it all out there
once and for all,
426
00:16:46,985 --> 00:16:49,864
and then we never have to talk
about it ever again.
427
00:16:51,378 --> 00:16:52,081
Bring it on!
428
00:16:53,278 --> 00:16:55,085
Are you still in love with each other?
429
00:16:55,170 --> 00:16:57,036
What a stupid waste of a first question.
430
00:16:57,122 --> 00:16:59,289
Who cares? Did you have an orgasm?
431
00:16:59,374 --> 00:17:01,875
- Yeah, boy!
- Guys, come on!
432
00:17:01,960 --> 00:17:05,178
No, it's fine, I don't want there
to be any unanswered questions.
433
00:17:05,213 --> 00:17:07,297
Technically, I did not have an orgasm.
434
00:17:07,382 --> 00:17:09,299
But it still felt good. Next question.
435
00:17:09,384 --> 00:17:11,885
Did Jonah have an orgasm?
436
00:17:16,892 --> 00:17:18,308
Yes, yes, I did.
437
00:17:18,393 --> 00:17:20,443
"Noice"! Yeah!
438
00:17:20,529 --> 00:17:23,062
No! I am not high-fiving one man
439
00:17:23,148 --> 00:17:24,864
over another man's orgasm.
440
00:17:24,900 --> 00:17:27,033
Stop using me as a human shield!
441
00:17:27,068 --> 00:17:29,202
Cease fire! Cease fire!
442
00:17:29,237 --> 00:17:30,987
Around the 14-minute mark in the video,
443
00:17:31,072 --> 00:17:32,872
Jonah appeared to whisper
something to you.
444
00:17:32,908 --> 00:17:33,702
What did he say?
445
00:17:33,703 --> 00:17:35,277
Oh, I think it was something about
446
00:17:35,278 --> 00:17:37,627
the cord from the scanner
was chafing his thigh.
447
00:17:37,712 --> 00:17:39,078
- I knew it.
- Oh, really?
448
00:17:39,164 --> 00:17:40,163
Wow.
449
00:17:40,248 --> 00:17:41,998
Now, as a pregnant woman,
450
00:17:42,083 --> 00:17:44,217
was it weird having two people
inside of you at once?
451
00:17:44,252 --> 00:17:45,502
No, not really.
452
00:17:45,587 --> 00:17:47,387
Follow up on Mateo's question...
453
00:17:47,422 --> 00:17:51,141
Jonah, was it weird being one
of two people inside Amy?
454
00:17:51,226 --> 00:17:52,308
I didn't think about it.
455
00:17:52,394 --> 00:17:53,593
Following up on Cheyenne,
456
00:17:53,678 --> 00:17:55,478
is it weird thinking about it now?
457
00:17:55,564 --> 00:17:56,679
It's getting a little weird, yeah.
458
00:17:56,765 --> 00:17:58,264
Okay, keep 'em coming, people!
459
00:17:58,350 --> 00:18:00,150
We'll be here as long as it takes.
460
00:18:00,235 --> 00:18:01,568
For my next question,
461
00:18:01,603 --> 00:18:04,103
I'm gonna need
a church candle and a bagel.
462
00:18:07,072 --> 00:18:09,782
For the first part, I would say I
don't really believe in soul mates,
463
00:18:09,783 --> 00:18:12,943
more like different people for different
phases of your life type of thing.
464
00:18:12,945 --> 00:18:15,746
And for the second part, circumcised.
465
00:18:16,353 --> 00:18:17,915
Yeah? Yeah.
466
00:18:17,917 --> 00:18:19,340
All right, who's next?
467
00:18:20,589 --> 00:18:21,785
Anybody?
468
00:18:21,787 --> 00:18:23,254
Come on, guys, don't be shy.
469
00:18:25,267 --> 00:18:26,889
Justine? Anything?
470
00:18:26,984 --> 00:18:28,083
No? Okay.
471
00:18:28,278 --> 00:18:30,569
Noam, anything you want to say in there?
472
00:18:31,609 --> 00:18:34,153
- I think he's asleep.
- Yeah, he had a big day.
473
00:18:35,101 --> 00:18:37,606
All right, guys, well,
this is your last chance,
474
00:18:37,803 --> 00:18:40,872
'cause after today, we are
never talking about this again.
475
00:18:41,357 --> 00:18:42,356
Anyone?
476
00:18:43,393 --> 00:18:44,441
Okay!
477
00:18:44,887 --> 00:18:47,361
Well, then we are done-zo.
478
00:18:49,115 --> 00:18:52,816
Okay. Let's get back to work.
479
00:18:53,305 --> 00:18:55,953
Actually, the store closed,
like, 15 minutes ago.
480
00:18:55,955 --> 00:18:57,288
- Oh.
- Come on.
481
00:18:57,290 --> 00:18:58,489
Good day, everyone.
482
00:19:01,070 --> 00:19:01,992
Boom.
483
00:19:01,994 --> 00:19:03,827
Good stuff out there, Miss Sue.
484
00:19:03,829 --> 00:19:06,297
Hey, nice hustle, Dan!
485
00:19:06,299 --> 00:19:09,500
So proud of us! Love you guys!
486
00:19:10,563 --> 00:19:12,662
Dina! It went great!
487
00:19:12,702 --> 00:19:13,860
Well, not at first.
488
00:19:13,861 --> 00:19:15,493
At first, I got very overwhelmed,
489
00:19:15,495 --> 00:19:17,528
and I started to get
this rash on my chest,
490
00:19:17,530 --> 00:19:19,196
but then I thought to myself,
491
00:19:19,198 --> 00:19:21,499
"Kelly, girl, you have been through
492
00:19:21,501 --> 00:19:23,834
Miss St. Louis, you can handle this."
493
00:19:23,836 --> 00:19:26,370
And so I delegated,
and I problem-solved,
494
00:19:26,372 --> 00:19:28,193
and I rallied the troops, and...
495
00:19:29,086 --> 00:19:30,201
I did it.
496
00:19:32,121 --> 00:19:33,236
Okay.
497
00:19:37,550 --> 00:19:39,517
I am Myrtle,
498
00:19:39,519 --> 00:19:41,719
your Cloud 9 virtual greeter.
499
00:19:42,120 --> 00:19:43,104
What do you think?
500
00:19:43,105 --> 00:19:46,317
You said you wanted Myrtle,
so I got you Myrtle.
501
00:19:46,318 --> 00:19:48,359
Meet our new automated greeter.
502
00:19:48,361 --> 00:19:49,560
Hello, Myrtle.
503
00:19:49,562 --> 00:19:51,392
Welcome to Cloud 9.
504
00:19:52,231 --> 00:19:53,742
This is the big surprise?
505
00:19:53,743 --> 00:19:54,833
Cool, huh, right?
506
00:19:54,834 --> 00:19:56,484
I mean, it's got over 50
programmable greetings,
507
00:19:56,485 --> 00:19:58,869
plus you can change the background.
508
00:19:58,871 --> 00:19:59,954
She's flying.
509
00:20:00,739 --> 00:20:02,290
Who would want this?
510
00:20:02,292 --> 00:20:04,742
Um, you were mad at me about Myrtle,
511
00:20:04,744 --> 00:20:07,745
so this is, like, the next best thing
512
00:20:07,747 --> 00:20:08,918
to having her back.
513
00:20:09,799 --> 00:20:11,697
I did this for you.
514
00:20:14,887 --> 00:20:16,721
- It's not Myrtle.
- Bye-bye now.
515
00:20:16,723 --> 00:20:19,757
Wait, don't go!
Look! She's at the beach, guys!
516
00:20:19,759 --> 00:20:21,309
And now a snowstorm!
517
00:20:21,311 --> 00:20:22,593
And hang on, hang on, hang on,
518
00:20:22,595 --> 00:20:24,428
I can fix this, right, real quick.
519
00:20:24,430 --> 00:20:26,764
Menu, function... Guys! I can fix this!
520
00:20:26,766 --> 00:20:28,482
I did a good thing!
521
00:20:34,489 --> 00:20:35,823
Hey.
522
00:20:36,365 --> 00:20:37,408
Hey.
523
00:20:37,964 --> 00:20:40,778
So you made it through
your first day back.
524
00:20:40,780 --> 00:20:44,142
And you only sexually harassed one teen.
525
00:20:44,143 --> 00:20:46,584
Yep, took a lot of self-control.
526
00:20:46,586 --> 00:20:48,836
Uh, quick question...
527
00:20:48,838 --> 00:20:50,921
So many questions...
528
00:20:51,376 --> 00:20:53,457
Mexican or Italian?
529
00:20:53,964 --> 00:20:55,512
We had Italian last night.
530
00:20:55,514 --> 00:20:56,049
Mexican.
531
00:20:56,373 --> 00:20:57,628
Okay, I'll pick it up.
532
00:20:57,700 --> 00:20:58,931
I'll get the wine. Hey!
533
00:20:58,958 --> 00:20:59,487
What?
534
00:20:59,489 --> 00:21:00,630
What if they see us?
535
00:21:00,631 --> 00:21:02,631
Nobody's around!
536
00:21:08,968 --> 00:21:11,916
Alright. See ya soon J-Bone.
537
00:21:12,800 --> 00:21:14,394
Looking forward to it A-Hole,
538
00:21:18,250 --> 00:21:21,414
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for www.addic7ed.com
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