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1
00:00:05,368 --> 00:00:07,403
- What?! No!
- No, no, no! No, come on!
2
00:00:07,404 --> 00:00:09,242
They didn't even tell us
who murdered the queen!
3
00:00:09,243 --> 00:00:10,384
Ugh.
4
00:00:10,741 --> 00:00:12,050
You know what? It's all good.
5
00:00:12,051 --> 00:00:13,852
The next episode
starts in ten seconds.
6
00:00:13,853 --> 00:00:15,253
Yes.
7
00:00:16,940 --> 00:00:18,908
You know, should we
watch this next episode,
8
00:00:18,909 --> 00:00:21,710
or should we do what we
normally do on Saturday nights?
9
00:00:22,846 --> 00:00:25,248
Unload the dishwasher?
10
00:00:25,249 --> 00:00:27,917
Why would I use my
sexy voice for that?
11
00:00:27,918 --> 00:00:31,087
I'm talking about, you know...
12
00:00:31,088 --> 00:00:33,522
Oh. Ooh.
13
00:00:33,523 --> 00:00:34,624
Yeah, let's do that.
14
00:00:34,625 --> 00:00:37,793
All right.
15
00:00:39,396 --> 00:00:42,298
Or we could just watch
one more episode.
16
00:00:42,299 --> 00:00:44,567
Ah. God, I love you.
17
00:00:44,568 --> 00:00:46,402
I love you, too.
18
00:00:46,403 --> 00:00:49,405
Nope. We should just do it now,
19
00:00:49,406 --> 00:00:51,674
- or it's never gonna happen.
- Totally agree. Totally agree.
20
00:00:51,675 --> 00:00:54,677
You know what? I'm gonna
go, uh, wolf down
21
00:00:54,678 --> 00:00:57,445
a piece of that garlic bread so
it's not just on your breath.
22
00:01:00,417 --> 00:01:03,386
Maybe take a bite
of a deviled egg, too.
23
00:01:03,387 --> 00:01:05,588
...is calling it quits...
24
00:01:05,589 --> 00:01:08,557
Wait, Jake, look, they're
talking about your client on TV.
25
00:01:08,558 --> 00:01:12,662
Big news today, multi-platinum
Australian singer Cooper James
26
00:01:12,663 --> 00:01:15,998
has split with his movie star
flame Sierra Quinn.
27
00:01:15,999 --> 00:01:18,668
I know. It's such a shame
28
00:01:18,669 --> 00:01:21,002
because we all thought
that relationship
29
00:01:21,004 --> 00:01:24,340
could have lasted well into next week.
30
00:01:24,341 --> 00:01:26,342
Is this gonna affect you?
31
00:01:26,343 --> 00:01:27,610
No, I'm just Cooper's accountant.
32
00:01:27,611 --> 00:01:29,945
You know what we need is some tunes.
33
00:01:29,946 --> 00:01:32,848
Alexa! Play "Jake's New Sex Mix."
34
00:01:32,849 --> 00:01:35,418
Playing BBC News at Six.
35
00:01:35,419 --> 00:01:37,586
Every day, 12-year-old Ekemma
36
00:01:37,587 --> 00:01:40,122
must walk through
her violence-soaked village,
37
00:01:40,123 --> 00:01:43,793
avoiding the same rebels who
raped and murdered her mother.
38
00:01:43,794 --> 00:01:45,261
Shut up, Alexa!
39
00:01:46,630 --> 00:01:48,196
Who could that be?
40
00:01:51,301 --> 00:01:53,169
Hi. Is this Jake's house?
41
00:01:53,170 --> 00:01:55,071
Ooh.
42
00:01:55,072 --> 00:01:56,405
That's Cooper James.
43
00:01:56,406 --> 00:01:58,507
Why-why is, why is
Cooper James at our door?
44
00:01:58,508 --> 00:02:00,909
Um... uh...
45
00:02:02,312 --> 00:02:05,181
Cooper James, hi. It is
so nice to meet you.
46
00:02:05,182 --> 00:02:06,816
- You must be Claire.
- Hi.
47
00:02:06,817 --> 00:02:09,785
- Ooh, another one.
- Oh. A third.
48
00:02:09,786 --> 00:02:12,054
I should've taken a Dramamine.
49
00:02:12,055 --> 00:02:14,590
Sorry. Sorry to barge in
on you like this, Jake,
50
00:02:14,591 --> 00:02:16,325
but I'm having a bit of an emergency.
51
00:02:16,326 --> 00:02:17,660
Ooh, an accounting emergency.
52
00:02:17,661 --> 00:02:20,062
I've been waiting
my whole life for this.
53
00:02:20,063 --> 00:02:22,331
No, the, uh... the paparazzi
are after me since this breakup,
54
00:02:22,332 --> 00:02:24,600
and I need a safe place to hide,
so I thought,
55
00:02:24,601 --> 00:02:25,901
who is an ordinary guy
56
00:02:25,902 --> 00:02:27,837
living an ordinary life
in a totally ordinary place...
57
00:02:27,838 --> 00:02:30,272
Feel free to stop saying "ordinary."
58
00:02:30,273 --> 00:02:32,875
I, uh... Is it at all possible
that I crash here
59
00:02:32,876 --> 00:02:34,110
till this all dies down?
60
00:02:34,111 --> 00:02:36,979
- Oh, uh...
- Oh. Uh...
61
00:02:36,980 --> 00:02:38,414
Wait, I wasn't interrupting
anything, was I?
62
00:02:38,415 --> 00:02:39,949
- No.
- No.
63
00:02:39,950 --> 00:02:41,951
No, we were just sitting watching TV.
64
00:02:41,952 --> 00:02:43,986
- Yeah, just TV and...
- And eating Chex Mix.
65
00:02:43,987 --> 00:02:46,389
Playing "Jake's Sex Mix."
66
00:02:56,500 --> 00:03:00,936
Subtitle sync and corrections by
awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com.
67
00:03:03,757 --> 00:03:06,292
So, I talked to Cooper's
manager, and, uh,
68
00:03:06,293 --> 00:03:08,594
Wayne thinks this will all
blow over in a couple of weeks.
69
00:03:08,595 --> 00:03:10,963
Jake, we're not cool enough
70
00:03:10,964 --> 00:03:13,132
to host a guy like Cooper
for that long.
71
00:03:13,133 --> 00:03:15,735
Look at the reminders
popping up on his phone.
72
00:03:15,736 --> 00:03:17,303
Okay?
73
00:03:17,304 --> 00:03:19,539
"Studio session with Rihanna."
74
00:03:20,974 --> 00:03:22,742
"Dinner at The Met.
75
00:03:22,743 --> 00:03:25,277
Get fitted for a wax sculpture."
76
00:03:26,647 --> 00:03:30,183
We have scented candles, and
this kid is becoming a candle.
77
00:03:30,184 --> 00:03:31,751
Claire-bear.
78
00:03:31,752 --> 00:03:34,587
My nickname in college
was "Dr. Dunk." Okay?
79
00:03:34,588 --> 00:03:39,659
You once got pulled up on
stage by Sir Dave Matthews.
80
00:03:39,660 --> 00:03:41,661
It's not like we're new to the game.
81
00:03:41,662 --> 00:03:43,262
I don't think anyone calls it
"the game" anymore.
82
00:03:43,263 --> 00:03:45,331
Trust me, babe, the key
to handling famous people
83
00:03:45,332 --> 00:03:46,932
is just to not try that hard.
84
00:03:47,835 --> 00:03:51,337
Coop-burger!
85
00:03:51,338 --> 00:03:53,506
How'd you schnooze?
86
00:03:53,507 --> 00:03:55,274
Great. Hey, I hope you don't mind,
87
00:03:55,275 --> 00:03:56,576
but I didn't bring any, uh, clothes,
88
00:03:56,577 --> 00:03:58,677
so I just grabbed a couple
things from your closet.
89
00:03:59,913 --> 00:04:02,915
Those are from my closet.
90
00:04:02,916 --> 00:04:06,919
And they look amazing on you.
91
00:04:06,920 --> 00:04:08,354
They do.
92
00:04:08,355 --> 00:04:11,324
So, uh, do you guys mind
if I hang out with you today?
93
00:04:11,325 --> 00:04:13,959
Aren't you going fly-fishing
with Jaden Smith?
94
00:04:15,496 --> 00:04:17,663
I'm just loving
how simple things are here.
95
00:04:17,664 --> 00:04:20,066
Life with Sierra
was always so fancy, but...
96
00:04:20,067 --> 00:04:22,101
you guys literally put
an "eat" sign on the wall
97
00:04:22,102 --> 00:04:23,935
'cause that's what you do
in a kitchen.
98
00:04:25,072 --> 00:04:28,574
Yeah, picked that
bad boy up from Costco.
99
00:04:28,575 --> 00:04:30,915
It's a private store, but, uh,
I can get you on the list.
100
00:04:32,179 --> 00:04:35,081
Yeah. Yeah, being here is
reminding me so much of my life
101
00:04:35,082 --> 00:04:36,349
before all this craziness.
102
00:04:36,350 --> 00:04:37,416
You know, when I was in Australia,
103
00:04:37,417 --> 00:04:38,417
living with my parents.
104
00:04:38,418 --> 00:04:41,988
Parents.
105
00:04:41,989 --> 00:04:44,724
- Oh.
- Oh.
106
00:04:44,725 --> 00:04:45,992
You're not kidding.
107
00:04:45,993 --> 00:04:48,761
Um, we're only, like,
ten years older than you.
108
00:04:48,762 --> 00:04:50,163
Don't mind her, dude.
109
00:04:50,164 --> 00:04:51,329
She's new to the game.
110
00:04:52,666 --> 00:04:54,233
What game?
111
00:04:54,234 --> 00:04:56,335
Hey, man, you want to goose
some 'stree with me?
112
00:04:56,336 --> 00:04:58,738
Some 'stree. You want to goose it?
113
00:04:58,739 --> 00:05:02,507
He's-he's offering you a
pastry in a very weird voice.
114
00:05:03,577 --> 00:05:06,378
You are so lucky you get
to eat whatever you want.
115
00:05:07,681 --> 00:05:09,415
- Oh, my God.
- Right?
116
00:05:09,416 --> 00:05:11,651
- Oh, my God.
- Yup.
117
00:05:11,652 --> 00:05:13,519
Claire!
118
00:05:13,520 --> 00:05:16,689
This is the best thing ever.
119
00:05:16,690 --> 00:05:18,424
What would someone call this?
120
00:05:18,425 --> 00:05:21,993
Someone would call that
a Toaster Strudel.
121
00:05:23,030 --> 00:05:25,464
- You've got to give me the recipe.
- Oh.
122
00:05:25,465 --> 00:05:30,002
Oh, it's easy: you just put it
in a toaster, and you hit down.
123
00:05:30,003 --> 00:05:32,839
Amazing. So, uh, what are you up to?
124
00:05:32,840 --> 00:05:35,808
Oh, I'm just syncing up Jake and
my work calendars for the week.
125
00:05:35,809 --> 00:05:38,177
I, uh, design restaurants and bars.
126
00:05:38,178 --> 00:05:39,946
That's so cool.
Any places I would know?
127
00:05:39,947 --> 00:05:43,449
Oh, uh, well, the last place
was this French restaurant
128
00:05:43,450 --> 00:05:44,917
called Le Jardin Bleu.
129
00:05:44,918 --> 00:05:46,618
Are you serious?
130
00:05:48,121 --> 00:05:50,922
That is literally my
favorite restaurant.
131
00:05:51,859 --> 00:05:53,426
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
132
00:05:53,427 --> 00:05:56,361
Yeah, yeah, I eat there
every time I'm in Morocco.
133
00:05:57,731 --> 00:05:59,298
Oh.
134
00:05:59,299 --> 00:06:04,003
Um, well, I designed the one
that is in the Best Buy Mall,
135
00:06:04,004 --> 00:06:09,175
um, just north of Oxnard.
136
00:06:09,176 --> 00:06:12,478
Well, I can't wait to try it someday.
137
00:06:12,479 --> 00:06:15,147
What's "Saturday night course work"?
138
00:06:18,285 --> 00:06:21,921
- What?
- What's "Saturday night course work"?
139
00:06:21,922 --> 00:06:23,121
What's what-what-what-what?
140
00:06:24,091 --> 00:06:26,492
"Saturday night course work."
141
00:06:26,493 --> 00:06:28,794
All right, look, man.
142
00:06:28,795 --> 00:06:30,533
So, my assistant has access
to our calendar, right?
143
00:06:30,534 --> 00:06:31,163
Mm-hmm.
144
00:06:31,164 --> 00:06:34,734
So "course" is short
for "intercourse."
145
00:06:34,735 --> 00:06:36,435
What?
146
00:06:36,436 --> 00:06:38,838
- Intercourse.
- What?
147
00:06:38,839 --> 00:06:41,807
Making sex!
148
00:06:41,808 --> 00:06:43,576
Yeah, we put it in the
calendar so we don't go
149
00:06:43,577 --> 00:06:44,677
more than a week without having it.
150
00:06:44,678 --> 00:06:45,811
- Ah.
- Yeah.
151
00:06:45,812 --> 00:06:47,280
Well, I guess I can relate.
152
00:06:47,281 --> 00:06:48,581
Yeah, with Sierra, we often
had to schedule breaks
153
00:06:48,582 --> 00:06:52,084
- in our sex life...
- Right.
154
00:06:52,085 --> 00:06:53,351
...because we were
having so much of it.
155
00:06:53,352 --> 00:06:54,153
Right, right.
156
00:06:54,154 --> 00:06:56,322
And, um, I developed a condition
157
00:06:56,323 --> 00:06:58,457
my doctors identified as "stud pole."
158
00:06:58,458 --> 00:07:00,660
Mm. "Stud pole."
159
00:07:00,661 --> 00:07:02,528
Or, as I like to call it, "college."
160
00:07:04,231 --> 00:07:06,632
Okay. He dated one
girl the whole time,
161
00:07:06,633 --> 00:07:08,733
and you're looking at her.
162
00:07:09,770 --> 00:07:11,671
Hey, I was, uh,
actually gonna sneak away
163
00:07:11,672 --> 00:07:14,073
to a private club tonight
if you guys wanted to join?
164
00:07:14,074 --> 00:07:15,284
- Oh.
- Ooh.
165
00:07:15,285 --> 00:07:17,810
But I... ooh, no, I see you've got
a couples massage booked today.
166
00:07:17,811 --> 00:07:19,812
Oh, no. That's, uh...
I think you misread that.
167
00:07:19,813 --> 00:07:21,480
That's "couples message."
168
00:07:21,481 --> 00:07:23,182
Yeah, um...
169
00:07:23,183 --> 00:07:25,551
Jake and I are kind of famous
with our friends for recording
170
00:07:25,552 --> 00:07:27,453
silly outgoing messages
on our landline.
171
00:07:27,454 --> 00:07:31,190
Yeah, we absolutely
crushed our last one.
172
00:07:31,191 --> 00:07:33,292
- Hit him with a taste, C-Train.
- No, I don't think...
173
00:07:33,293 --> 00:07:36,462
- Come on, girl.
- ♪ Hey, when you get ♪
174
00:07:36,463 --> 00:07:40,433
♪ To the end of the tone ♪
175
00:07:40,434 --> 00:07:44,236
♪ Please leave a message ♪
176
00:07:44,237 --> 00:07:49,742
♪ We'll get back to you,
we'll get back to you ♪
177
00:07:49,743 --> 00:07:52,511
♪ Hey, girl ♪
178
00:07:52,512 --> 00:07:56,449
♪ I'm so sad to miss your sweet,
sweet voice, but, uh ♪
179
00:07:56,450 --> 00:07:59,518
♪ Why don't you lay down a
smooth track with your deets ♪
180
00:07:59,519 --> 00:08:03,589
♪ And, uh, I'll get back ♪
181
00:08:03,590 --> 00:08:04,724
♪ A'ight? ♪
182
00:08:06,827 --> 00:08:09,095
It's so g... It's so great.
183
00:08:09,096 --> 00:08:10,796
I can't...
184
00:08:12,632 --> 00:08:15,634
- Ah...
- Ah...
185
00:08:15,635 --> 00:08:19,305
Cooper, we would love to
come out with you tonight.
186
00:08:22,676 --> 00:08:24,677
Whoa.
187
00:08:24,678 --> 00:08:27,045
Oh, my God.
188
00:08:28,081 --> 00:08:30,248
This place is incredible.
189
00:08:31,251 --> 00:08:33,986
Guys, this is my security
guard, Nightmare.
190
00:08:33,987 --> 00:08:35,488
Ha-ha! Nightmare.
191
00:08:35,489 --> 00:08:37,490
What up, player?
192
00:08:37,491 --> 00:08:39,592
Yeah.
193
00:08:39,593 --> 00:08:41,594
Okay, Jake, are we
too lame to be here?
194
00:08:41,595 --> 00:08:43,528
No.
195
00:08:47,934 --> 00:08:49,335
Yes!
196
00:08:49,336 --> 00:08:51,937
How am I doing?
197
00:08:51,938 --> 00:08:54,272
Uh, maybe try using
your upper body, too.
198
00:08:56,410 --> 00:08:57,476
It's lovely you're having fun.
199
00:08:57,477 --> 00:08:58,877
Shots!
200
00:09:01,515 --> 00:09:02,848
Ooh.
201
00:09:02,849 --> 00:09:06,185
Yeah! Yeah!
202
00:09:06,186 --> 00:09:07,953
Best Sunday night ever!
203
00:09:07,954 --> 00:09:09,320
Yeah! Yeah!
204
00:09:13,727 --> 00:09:16,528
Nightmare!
205
00:09:20,233 --> 00:09:23,168
Next time.
206
00:09:26,640 --> 00:09:28,641
Jake?
207
00:09:28,642 --> 00:09:30,176
Jake!
208
00:09:30,177 --> 00:09:33,646
Yeah, I'll slam
another Bud Light Lime.
209
00:09:33,647 --> 00:09:37,316
What happened last night?
210
00:09:37,317 --> 00:09:41,052
Well, I know
we came home to get it on...
211
00:09:42,489 --> 00:09:44,657
...uh, but you wanted
to grab a quick snack,
212
00:09:44,658 --> 00:09:48,294
and I went upstairs to change
into a sexier outfit.
213
00:09:48,295 --> 00:09:49,628
And then did we get it on?
214
00:09:49,629 --> 00:09:52,697
- I don't think so.
- Oh.
215
00:09:53,733 --> 00:09:56,135
Ugh, I am so hungover.
216
00:09:56,136 --> 00:09:58,437
There is no way
that I could go to work today.
217
00:09:58,438 --> 00:10:02,341
And I am so sore from
all that dancing.
218
00:10:02,342 --> 00:10:03,809
Holy crap, it's Rylie Connors.
219
00:10:03,810 --> 00:10:06,579
Ugh, yeah, it's just some fluff piece.
220
00:10:06,580 --> 00:10:09,682
But man, look at her butt.
I just want to bite it.
221
00:10:12,486 --> 00:10:17,623
Hi. This is my friend Rylie.
222
00:10:17,624 --> 00:10:19,725
Rylie, this is, uh,
Jake and Claire Davis.
223
00:10:19,726 --> 00:10:22,261
You have a very nice home,
Mr. and Mrs. Davis.
224
00:10:22,262 --> 00:10:23,629
"Mrs. Davis"?
225
00:10:23,630 --> 00:10:25,029
What do you think...
226
00:10:27,400 --> 00:10:32,170
Rylie! Rylie, I mean, come on.
Girl child.
227
00:10:33,840 --> 00:10:35,808
Jake and I are just like you guys.
228
00:10:35,809 --> 00:10:39,244
We're young and fun
and... full of beans.
229
00:10:40,413 --> 00:10:42,248
"Mr. Davis" makes me
sound like some sort of
230
00:10:42,249 --> 00:10:44,283
old man, which I am not.
231
00:10:46,253 --> 00:10:49,421
Oh, I got it. I got it.
232
00:10:49,422 --> 00:10:50,756
Last night was so crazy.
233
00:10:50,757 --> 00:10:53,492
Um, are you... are you not hungover?
234
00:10:53,493 --> 00:10:54,593
Oh, I just decided years ago
235
00:10:54,594 --> 00:10:56,128
to never let alcohol make me hungover.
236
00:10:56,129 --> 00:10:57,662
Dude, same.
237
00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:01,800
Uh, Claire-bear, could
you do me a quick slice
238
00:11:01,801 --> 00:11:03,002
and tilt this baby back up?
239
00:11:03,003 --> 00:11:05,069
Thank you.
240
00:11:06,006 --> 00:11:07,339
Anyway, we've been out all night,
241
00:11:07,340 --> 00:11:09,008
so, uh, we're gonna go to bed.
242
00:11:09,009 --> 00:11:10,576
Good night, Mr. and Mrs. Davis.
243
00:11:10,577 --> 00:11:11,810
Okay.
244
00:11:11,811 --> 00:11:14,914
We're barely older than you.
245
00:11:14,915 --> 00:11:16,916
Baby, you passed out in your cereal.
246
00:11:23,490 --> 00:11:25,658
Look, someone secretly
took photos of me
247
00:11:25,659 --> 00:11:27,293
dancing with Cooper at that nightclub.
248
00:11:27,294 --> 00:11:29,762
"Cooper James seems to have traded in
249
00:11:29,763 --> 00:11:31,797
"his 19-year-old Lamborghini Sierra
250
00:11:31,798 --> 00:11:34,600
for what appears to be
a 40-year-old cargo van."
251
00:11:34,601 --> 00:11:37,970
What the hell? They cropped
me out of the picture.
252
00:11:37,971 --> 00:11:39,438
Our phones are blowing up.
253
00:11:39,439 --> 00:11:41,473
Everyone we know thinks I'm
having an affair with Cooper.
254
00:11:41,474 --> 00:11:43,842
Oh, here's one from my dad.
255
00:11:43,843 --> 00:11:46,946
"I told you, if you stopped
working out, you'd lose her."
256
00:11:48,181 --> 00:11:49,582
Jake, this is so embarrassing.
257
00:11:49,583 --> 00:11:51,984
Now my boss knows
that I lied about being sick,
258
00:11:51,985 --> 00:11:54,119
and everyone else thinks
that I'm an adulterer.
259
00:11:54,120 --> 00:11:55,921
Do you think you're overreacting
just a little?
260
00:11:55,922 --> 00:11:57,556
I don't think so.
261
00:11:57,557 --> 00:11:59,959
Look at this e-mail
I just got from our pastor.
262
00:11:59,960 --> 00:12:01,560
"Can you get me concert tickets,
263
00:12:01,561 --> 00:12:04,896
or was this a
'hit it and quit it' situation?"
264
00:12:08,568 --> 00:12:10,069
Aw, look.
265
00:12:10,070 --> 00:12:12,338
Us Weekly is calling
Cooper's mystery girl
266
00:12:12,339 --> 00:12:15,773
"an inspiration
to bland women everywhere."
267
00:12:17,177 --> 00:12:18,510
Claire! Claire! Claire!
268
00:12:18,511 --> 00:12:19,645
- Jake! Jake!
- Jake!
269
00:12:19,646 --> 00:12:22,281
Mom, Dad, what-what
are you doing here?
270
00:12:22,282 --> 00:12:24,116
I was making smoothies
for us this morning,
271
00:12:24,117 --> 00:12:27,386
and I realized I didn't
have enough vodka, so...
272
00:12:27,387 --> 00:12:29,622
so I ran out to the store
273
00:12:29,623 --> 00:12:32,625
to get another case, and I see this.
274
00:12:32,626 --> 00:12:34,627
My daughter cheating on her husband
275
00:12:34,628 --> 00:12:37,062
with the singer of my
favorite workout music.
276
00:12:37,063 --> 00:12:38,664
How could you do this?
277
00:12:38,665 --> 00:12:42,166
Claire, you've ruined Zumba for me.
278
00:12:43,270 --> 00:12:45,804
Jake, I hate that this
has happened to you.
279
00:12:45,805 --> 00:12:46,972
Look, you're a good guy, and I think
280
00:12:46,973 --> 00:12:49,275
I speak for both Bonnie
and me when I say
281
00:12:49,276 --> 00:12:51,076
take care and good luck.
282
00:12:51,077 --> 00:12:52,645
Thanks for everything.
283
00:12:52,646 --> 00:12:54,013
Okay, guys, stop.
284
00:12:54,014 --> 00:12:55,814
I am not having an affair with Cooper.
285
00:12:55,815 --> 00:12:58,817
He is Jake's client,
and he is just staying with us.
286
00:12:58,818 --> 00:13:00,219
- Morning, guys.
- Oh!
287
00:13:00,220 --> 00:13:03,555
Hey. H-Hey. Whoa.
288
00:13:03,556 --> 00:13:05,591
Okay.
289
00:13:05,592 --> 00:13:08,594
Cooper, I'm sorry.
These are my parents.
290
00:13:08,595 --> 00:13:10,663
Okay. It's so lovely to meet you.
291
00:13:10,664 --> 00:13:13,766
Oh. Oh, that's... oh. Ha! Ho, ho!
292
00:13:13,767 --> 00:13:16,168
How about one in the middle?
Balance it out.
293
00:13:16,169 --> 00:13:18,404
Hey, why don't we park
ourselves in the living room
294
00:13:18,405 --> 00:13:20,272
and get to know each other
over a glass of lemonade?
295
00:13:20,273 --> 00:13:23,075
No. This our home. You can't
just loiter here all day.
296
00:13:23,076 --> 00:13:24,977
Ooh!
297
00:13:24,978 --> 00:13:27,146
Now, who has a lemon?
298
00:13:27,147 --> 00:13:29,214
All right, I know you guys
are doctors and everything,
299
00:13:29,215 --> 00:13:31,216
but is it possible that
you're drinking too much?
300
00:13:35,155 --> 00:13:37,990
Jake, everyone knows
that you can't be an alcoholic
301
00:13:37,991 --> 00:13:39,224
if you're retired.
302
00:13:39,225 --> 00:13:40,325
Oh.
303
00:13:42,262 --> 00:13:44,830
Oh. Jake.
304
00:13:44,831 --> 00:13:46,832
I am tired and hungover,
305
00:13:46,833 --> 00:13:50,402
and I am currently the most
famous cougar on the planet.
306
00:13:50,403 --> 00:13:53,939
And now my parents are going
to never stop coming over.
307
00:13:53,940 --> 00:13:55,374
Yeah, you're right. This is too much.
308
00:13:55,375 --> 00:13:57,775
We have to find a way
to get Cooper out of our house.
309
00:14:01,915 --> 00:14:04,746
Hey, congratulations, Jake.
310
00:14:04,747 --> 00:14:06,456
If you're gonna get cheated
on, at least it's with
311
00:14:06,457 --> 00:14:08,125
a celebrity you can brag about.
312
00:14:08,126 --> 00:14:10,260
How may I help you, Wayne?
313
00:14:10,261 --> 00:14:13,096
I booked Cooper and Sierra
a lucrative photo spread
314
00:14:13,097 --> 00:14:14,731
in Liquid Magazine.
315
00:14:14,732 --> 00:14:17,334
Sierra loves the idea, but
Cooper's not answering my calls.
316
00:14:17,335 --> 00:14:19,403
I'm his manager, Jake.
He should be taking my calls.
317
00:14:19,404 --> 00:14:21,638
Well, yeah, but I think
he's trying to, you know,
318
00:14:21,639 --> 00:14:23,574
take a break from all
that craziness, you know?
319
00:14:23,575 --> 00:14:26,476
Sure. But I'm just gonna text
you Sierra's number
320
00:14:26,477 --> 00:14:27,911
while you think about this.
321
00:14:27,912 --> 00:14:29,780
As soon as he moves back in with her,
322
00:14:29,781 --> 00:14:32,449
you'll get your house back
to start repairing things
323
00:14:32,450 --> 00:14:34,251
with the lady Us Weekly is calling
324
00:14:34,252 --> 00:14:37,720
"the hottest regular woman
in greater Encino."
325
00:14:46,064 --> 00:14:47,997
Oh, who could that be?
326
00:14:51,269 --> 00:14:54,136
Sierra Quinn. What a surprise.
327
00:14:55,206 --> 00:14:57,407
You must be Jake and Chloe.
328
00:14:57,408 --> 00:14:59,142
Well, uh, my name's Claire.
329
00:14:59,143 --> 00:15:00,711
Pass.
330
00:15:00,712 --> 00:15:03,614
Sierra, what-what are you doing here?
331
00:15:03,615 --> 00:15:05,115
I just came to say
332
00:15:05,116 --> 00:15:07,283
that I'm willing to let
pylons be pylons.
333
00:15:08,720 --> 00:15:10,787
We're too big a brand
to let some old lady
334
00:15:10,788 --> 00:15:12,422
with her original teeth
come between us.
335
00:15:12,423 --> 00:15:14,424
No offense, Corky.
336
00:15:14,425 --> 00:15:17,594
That's not even close to "Claire."
337
00:15:17,595 --> 00:15:20,797
I don't know, every time we
have the smallest argument,
338
00:15:20,798 --> 00:15:22,065
you get so dramatic.
339
00:15:22,066 --> 00:15:25,401
You saying that makes me
want to kill myself.
340
00:15:26,404 --> 00:15:28,472
Jake, are we sure that
this is a good idea?
341
00:15:28,473 --> 00:15:31,475
'Cause this girl seems
pretty... horrendous.
342
00:15:31,476 --> 00:15:33,410
No...
343
00:15:33,411 --> 00:15:35,445
It's just that these two
have taught me that passion
344
00:15:35,446 --> 00:15:37,706
doesn't have to be the driving
force in a relationship.
345
00:15:39,384 --> 00:15:42,786
Sometimes it's better to have a
pal that you can sleep next to,
346
00:15:42,787 --> 00:15:44,521
like two old friends
sharing a hotel room
347
00:15:44,522 --> 00:15:45,889
that accidentally came with one bed.
348
00:15:45,890 --> 00:15:47,357
- Nah.
- Okay!
349
00:15:47,358 --> 00:15:48,759
Obviously,
350
00:15:48,760 --> 00:15:51,061
you two have some stuff to figure out,
351
00:15:51,062 --> 00:15:54,563
but it would be a shame to
give up on something this good.
352
00:15:55,733 --> 00:15:57,633
That old lady does have a point.
353
00:15:58,803 --> 00:16:00,637
That's nice, but...
354
00:16:00,638 --> 00:16:02,906
I'm kind of enjoying my life here.
355
00:16:02,907 --> 00:16:05,976
Yeah, I-I'm sure, but obviously
this can't be permanent.
356
00:16:05,977 --> 00:16:08,512
You know, I mean,
you're way too young and cool
357
00:16:08,513 --> 00:16:10,681
to be sitting around
on a couch eating popcorn
358
00:16:10,682 --> 00:16:12,115
with some lame married couple.
359
00:16:14,519 --> 00:16:17,020
- That's us.
- Yeah.
360
00:16:17,021 --> 00:16:18,789
Yeah, y-you're probably right.
361
00:16:18,790 --> 00:16:22,392
Um, I guess we can
give it another try.
362
00:16:22,393 --> 00:16:26,295
Oh, my God! I am over the
moose with excitement.
363
00:16:29,867 --> 00:16:31,401
I guess I'll see you
next tax season, then.
364
00:16:31,402 --> 00:16:32,802
Hey, you can account on that.
365
00:16:34,972 --> 00:16:37,774
Bye, Cooper. You know, it's been fun.
366
00:16:37,775 --> 00:16:39,076
Oh, you know what,
367
00:16:39,077 --> 00:16:41,445
you take these Toaster Strudel
for the road, okay?
368
00:16:41,446 --> 00:16:43,447
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Cool. All right.
369
00:16:43,448 --> 00:16:46,448
Uh, hey, uh, thanks for everything.
370
00:16:47,885 --> 00:16:50,253
It was so nice to meet you, Jake.
371
00:16:50,254 --> 00:16:51,787
Bye, Clug.
372
00:16:53,524 --> 00:16:56,525
Clug? That's not even a name!
373
00:17:00,398 --> 00:17:02,933
Cheers. To having our house back.
374
00:17:02,934 --> 00:17:04,267
It's been a week since Cooper left.
375
00:17:04,268 --> 00:17:06,269
Do you think our boy's doing okay?
376
00:17:06,270 --> 00:17:07,771
Cooper is a human dolphin.
377
00:17:07,772 --> 00:17:09,239
He's happy everywhere.
378
00:17:09,240 --> 00:17:12,509
That's true. It was pretty fun
having him here, though.
379
00:17:12,510 --> 00:17:16,046
And it had been forever
since we'd gone out dancing.
380
00:17:16,047 --> 00:17:19,716
Oh, what is going on in here?
381
00:17:19,717 --> 00:17:21,685
Jake, Claire!
382
00:17:21,686 --> 00:17:22,786
Oh, damn, Jake!
383
00:17:22,787 --> 00:17:24,755
How could you two be getting it on
384
00:17:24,756 --> 00:17:26,256
at a time like this?
385
00:17:26,257 --> 00:17:29,559
You two, you kicked that
sweet boy out of your home,
386
00:17:29,560 --> 00:17:32,763
and I want you to see
just how sad you've made him.
387
00:17:32,764 --> 00:17:34,331
Cooper, Sierra.
388
00:17:34,332 --> 00:17:36,266
Are you excited to be back together?
389
00:17:36,267 --> 00:17:37,267
Well, we...
390
00:17:37,268 --> 00:17:38,902
I'll tell you what
I told Cooper earlier.
391
00:17:38,903 --> 00:17:40,704
He's very happy.
392
00:17:40,705 --> 00:17:43,507
Wow, I don't think I've ever
seen Cooper not smiling.
393
00:17:43,508 --> 00:17:44,908
He's miserable.
394
00:17:44,909 --> 00:17:46,777
And do you see what restaurant
he's coming out of?
395
00:17:46,778 --> 00:17:48,945
Oh, my God.
396
00:17:48,946 --> 00:17:51,114
Is that Le Jardin Bleu?
397
00:17:51,115 --> 00:17:53,784
No way. He told me he was gonna go,
398
00:17:53,785 --> 00:17:55,685
but I thought he was just saying that.
399
00:17:55,686 --> 00:17:58,121
Turns out he's just a sweet guy.
400
00:17:58,122 --> 00:18:00,757
I mean, it's nice and all,
but this is the life
401
00:18:00,758 --> 00:18:02,893
- he's supposed to be leading.
- Ugh.
402
00:18:02,894 --> 00:18:04,427
We never should have
sent him back to her.
403
00:18:04,428 --> 00:18:05,695
Yeah, right, but...
404
00:18:05,696 --> 00:18:07,597
what's the alternative,
have him come live with us?
405
00:18:07,598 --> 00:18:10,066
I don't know, I mean, he needs
someone looking out for him,
406
00:18:10,067 --> 00:18:11,735
and he sure as heck isn't getting it
407
00:18:11,736 --> 00:18:13,102
from anyone else in his life.
408
00:18:14,338 --> 00:18:16,873
You're right.
409
00:18:16,874 --> 00:18:19,042
Come on, Claire, let's go get our boy.
410
00:18:19,043 --> 00:18:20,811
- Oh, yay.
- Yes.
411
00:18:24,582 --> 00:18:26,449
Oh, man, this is so good, man.
412
00:18:26,450 --> 00:18:28,552
Ouais. Ouais.
413
00:18:28,553 --> 00:18:30,120
C'est très magnifique.
414
00:18:30,121 --> 00:18:31,454
C'est très magnifique, Cooper.
415
00:18:31,455 --> 00:18:33,790
How much longer are we thinking?
416
00:18:33,791 --> 00:18:35,858
I can feel my heartbeat in my face.
417
00:18:38,362 --> 00:18:41,131
What on earth is going on in here?
418
00:18:41,132 --> 00:18:42,132
Hey, guys.
419
00:18:42,133 --> 00:18:44,301
Uh, hey, uh, Cooper.
420
00:18:44,302 --> 00:18:46,469
We need... we need to talk to you.
421
00:18:46,470 --> 00:18:48,304
Ugh. Clug.
422
00:18:49,340 --> 00:18:51,074
Let's take a five.
423
00:18:51,075 --> 00:18:53,009
Let's go.
424
00:18:53,010 --> 00:18:54,411
So good to see you guys.
425
00:18:54,412 --> 00:18:59,115
Wait, it is you guys, right?
I-I'm starting to hallucinate.
426
00:18:59,116 --> 00:19:02,285
Uh, can somebody get him
down from there, please?
427
00:19:02,286 --> 00:19:05,255
Um, so, Cooper,
428
00:19:05,256 --> 00:19:07,023
we've been thinking that...
that maybe you were
429
00:19:07,024 --> 00:19:09,192
a little too hasty
in leaving our house.
430
00:19:09,193 --> 00:19:11,962
And I know we just started
getting to know you,
431
00:19:11,963 --> 00:19:13,430
but I feel like it's long enough
432
00:19:13,431 --> 00:19:15,632
to know that all th... all this
433
00:19:15,633 --> 00:19:18,368
just, uh... just isn't you, man.
434
00:19:18,369 --> 00:19:22,072
Yeah, and-and even though
we said it would be weird
435
00:19:22,073 --> 00:19:25,108
for you to live with a lame
married couple like us...
436
00:19:25,109 --> 00:19:26,409
We do think you belong in a place
437
00:19:26,410 --> 00:19:29,179
where you could be an ordinary guy
438
00:19:29,180 --> 00:19:32,382
living an ordinary life
with two ordinary people
439
00:19:32,383 --> 00:19:33,750
that really care about you.
440
00:19:33,751 --> 00:19:35,819
Um, who unhooked you?
441
00:19:35,820 --> 00:19:37,686
We're not done here.
442
00:19:38,623 --> 00:19:40,457
Yeah, I-I think we are.
443
00:19:40,458 --> 00:19:43,193
Look, Sierra,
you're incredible, but...
444
00:19:43,194 --> 00:19:44,761
being around Jake
and Claire this week,
445
00:19:44,762 --> 00:19:47,631
it's made me want something different.
446
00:19:47,632 --> 00:19:49,900
So does that mean you're gonna
come live with us for a bit?
447
00:19:49,901 --> 00:19:52,202
Yeah. Yeah, I am.
448
00:19:52,203 --> 00:19:54,170
All right!
449
00:19:54,171 --> 00:19:56,506
I can't believe
you're doing this to me.
450
00:19:56,507 --> 00:19:59,441
Alexa, play breakup mix.
451
00:20:08,352 --> 00:20:09,853
Is there anything else I can...
452
00:20:09,854 --> 00:20:11,954
That'll be all, Alexa.
453
00:20:14,525 --> 00:20:16,092
Let's get you home, buddy.
454
00:20:16,093 --> 00:20:17,911
You want to grab some clothes?
455
00:20:17,912 --> 00:20:19,896
- Ah, I look better in your stuff anyway.
- Oh.
456
00:20:19,897 --> 00:20:21,698
Oh. Okay, bye, Alexa.
457
00:20:21,699 --> 00:20:23,298
My name is Suzanne.
458
00:20:25,540 --> 00:20:27,944
All right. Saturday night.
459
00:20:27,945 --> 00:20:29,412
- Should we do this?
- Yes.
460
00:20:29,413 --> 00:20:31,481
Okay, so I was thinking
we'd try a little
461
00:20:31,482 --> 00:20:32,916
Garth Brooks country.
462
00:20:32,917 --> 00:20:34,251
Okay. Easy.
463
00:20:34,252 --> 00:20:35,652
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
464
00:20:35,653 --> 00:20:37,453
Okay.
465
00:20:39,156 --> 00:20:43,393
♪ Oh, we get calls from
all kinds of places ♪
466
00:20:43,394 --> 00:20:45,228
♪ Keep your message short ♪
467
00:20:45,229 --> 00:20:47,497
♪ We'll get back to you ♪
468
00:20:47,498 --> 00:20:50,267
♪ Oh, we get calls ♪
469
00:20:50,268 --> 00:20:53,904
♪ From all kinds of places. ♪
470
00:20:53,905 --> 00:20:55,438
Hey, girl.
471
00:20:55,439 --> 00:20:59,476
Sorry I missed the buttery tones
of your sweet, sweet voice,
472
00:20:59,477 --> 00:21:03,780
but, uh, please leave a message,
and we'll get back.
473
00:21:03,781 --> 00:21:05,849
A'ight?
474
00:21:05,850 --> 00:21:08,417
Bye!
475
00:21:09,402 --> 00:21:15,502
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