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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,269 --> 00:00:04,436 (eerie ambient tones) 2 00:00:13,887 --> 00:00:16,387 (eerie music) 3 00:01:36,063 --> 00:01:38,563 - Baby, when did you get here? 4 00:01:47,833 --> 00:01:52,701 (dramatic music) (gasping) 5 00:01:52,701 --> 00:01:55,701 (upbeat rock music) 6 00:02:01,681 --> 00:02:05,098 ♫ I've got my eye on you 7 00:02:05,933 --> 00:02:09,350 ♫ I've got my eye on you 8 00:02:10,592 --> 00:02:14,161 ♫ And I'm up to here, too 9 00:02:14,161 --> 00:02:18,328 ♫ You're foolin' around, gettin' blood on my shoes 10 00:02:27,931 --> 00:02:32,173 ♫ I've set my sights on you 11 00:02:32,173 --> 00:02:35,840 ♫ I've set my sights on you 12 00:02:36,762 --> 00:02:40,381 ♫ Gotten out of my tomb 13 00:02:40,381 --> 00:02:44,548 ♫ So don't look around, I've got nothing to lose ♫ 14 00:03:04,592 --> 00:03:06,759 (gunshot) 15 00:03:12,594 --> 00:03:14,104 - Aloha. 16 00:03:14,104 --> 00:03:18,154 I see you've met Rachel Worth, poor thing. 17 00:03:18,154 --> 00:03:20,693 Can you believe it's her wedding day? 18 00:03:20,693 --> 00:03:23,173 Certainly not a very auspicious start. 19 00:03:23,173 --> 00:03:26,222 A bride needs something borrowed, something blue, 20 00:03:26,222 --> 00:03:28,342 but certainly not something dead. 21 00:03:28,342 --> 00:03:30,264 I guess the silver lining in all of this 22 00:03:30,264 --> 00:03:34,454 is the corpse is not the man she's planning to marry. 23 00:03:34,454 --> 00:03:37,074 But with her ceremony on a private beach 24 00:03:37,074 --> 00:03:40,653 near Waikiki looming in six hours, 25 00:03:40,653 --> 00:03:41,984 she best fix this little hiccup that's 26 00:03:41,984 --> 00:03:43,674 threatening her big day. 27 00:03:43,674 --> 00:03:45,754 Otherwise it could very well be a whole new 28 00:03:45,754 --> 00:03:49,421 meaning to the phrase 'til death do us part. 29 00:03:50,542 --> 00:03:54,186 (water splashing) 30 00:03:54,186 --> 00:03:55,936 - Okay, phone, phone. 31 00:03:58,842 --> 00:04:01,009 Where's my fucking phone?! 32 00:04:03,293 --> 00:04:05,543 (mumbling) 33 00:04:16,154 --> 00:04:18,821 (phone dialing) 34 00:04:21,313 --> 00:04:23,753 (sobbing) Cam! 35 00:04:23,753 --> 00:04:24,836 Cam, it's me! 36 00:04:25,685 --> 00:04:26,754 - Babe, are you okay? 37 00:04:26,754 --> 00:04:28,413 I can't hear you, there's no reception, 38 00:04:28,413 --> 00:04:30,304 and the music's too loud! 39 00:04:30,304 --> 00:04:31,994 Listen, my bachelor party's still goin' on, 40 00:04:31,994 --> 00:04:36,899 but I promise, don't worry, I'll be sober by the morning. 41 00:04:36,899 --> 00:04:37,816 - Cam, Cam! 42 00:04:38,976 --> 00:04:41,656 - Really? That's funny? 43 00:04:41,656 --> 00:04:45,274 You made out with a tranny last night. 44 00:04:45,274 --> 00:04:47,441 (sobbing) 45 00:04:50,744 --> 00:04:54,077 (upbeat flamenco music) 46 00:04:58,892 --> 00:05:02,142 (groaning and sighing) 47 00:06:44,519 --> 00:06:48,167 (heavy breathing) 48 00:06:48,167 --> 00:06:49,549 Please tell me we still get to have sex like 49 00:06:49,549 --> 00:06:50,847 that after we're married? 50 00:06:50,847 --> 00:06:53,521 - (chuckling) We better. 51 00:06:53,521 --> 00:06:56,037 It's a husband's duty to please his woman. 52 00:06:56,037 --> 00:06:57,120 - Oh, really? 53 00:06:58,485 --> 00:06:59,997 I can't believe by this time tomorrow 54 00:06:59,997 --> 00:07:02,845 we'll be Mr. and Mrs. Cam Englehart. 55 00:07:02,845 --> 00:07:04,557 - Finally, I thought we were gonna have to 56 00:07:04,557 --> 00:07:06,705 get you new business cards made up. 57 00:07:06,705 --> 00:07:10,037 Cam Englehart, Corporate Attorney, Commitmentphobe. 58 00:07:10,037 --> 00:07:12,305 - Well, after tonight, I'm all yours. 59 00:07:12,305 --> 00:07:14,888 - Ah, just remember, we agreed. 60 00:07:16,015 --> 00:07:17,205 One lap dance. 61 00:07:17,205 --> 00:07:19,317 - Yeah, about that, how 'bout 62 00:07:19,317 --> 00:07:21,234 one lap dance and a BJ? 63 00:07:22,660 --> 00:07:24,485 I'm a lawyer, I negotiate! 64 00:07:24,485 --> 00:07:25,318 It's what I do! 65 00:07:25,318 --> 00:07:27,495 - It's also tacky. 66 00:07:27,495 --> 00:07:30,445 Oh, I hope they don't get a stripper. 67 00:07:30,445 --> 00:07:33,917 I just wanna sit by the pool and relax. 68 00:07:33,917 --> 00:07:35,000 And miss you. 69 00:07:38,482 --> 00:07:40,085 Do I really have to go do this whole 70 00:07:40,085 --> 00:07:41,034 bachelorette party thing? 71 00:07:41,034 --> 00:07:44,655 - Yes, my sister's gone all out, you have to go. 72 00:07:44,655 --> 00:07:45,785 (knocking on door) 73 00:07:45,785 --> 00:07:49,700 Which is why I told 'em where to find you. 74 00:07:49,700 --> 00:07:52,665 - [Sharon] You're not even dressed yet! 75 00:07:52,665 --> 00:07:54,335 What is this? 76 00:07:54,335 --> 00:07:55,376 Party time! 77 00:07:55,376 --> 00:07:58,058 - Check-in is at 3 and I want maximum pool time, 78 00:07:58,058 --> 00:08:01,842 but you, just, stop molesting my bro, okay? 79 00:08:01,842 --> 00:08:02,997 - Okay, coming! 80 00:08:02,997 --> 00:08:05,580 - [Daphne] Happy birthday, Cam! 81 00:08:07,317 --> 00:08:09,364 - [Cam] I'll see you later. - [Rachel] Okay! 82 00:08:09,364 --> 00:08:13,294 Hi, this is Rachel Worth, I'm one of the women 83 00:08:13,294 --> 00:08:16,443 staying at your vacation rental, there's a problem 84 00:08:16,443 --> 00:08:18,582 that I really need to talk to you about, 85 00:08:18,582 --> 00:08:22,214 so if you get this message, please call me back. 86 00:08:22,214 --> 00:08:24,562 Here, at the house. 87 00:08:24,562 --> 00:08:26,243 Um, thank you. 88 00:08:26,243 --> 00:08:28,142 Okay, call me back. Okay, bye. 89 00:08:28,142 --> 00:08:32,888 (waves crashing) (women cheering) 90 00:08:32,888 --> 00:08:35,638 - This is the entertainment area. 91 00:08:37,122 --> 00:08:39,054 Fire pit over there. 92 00:08:39,054 --> 00:08:40,294 - Trampoline, we get to use that, right? 93 00:08:40,294 --> 00:08:41,943 - Yeah, yeah! 94 00:08:41,943 --> 00:08:45,294 You got a famous trampoline, if that trampoline could talk. 95 00:08:45,294 --> 00:08:46,785 The jacuzzi and the pool's temperature 96 00:08:46,785 --> 00:08:48,465 you can adjust inside. 97 00:08:48,465 --> 00:08:50,635 - Daphne pees in the pool, just to let you know, 98 00:08:50,635 --> 00:08:51,715 is that gonna be a problem? 99 00:08:51,715 --> 00:08:52,795 - I do not! 100 00:08:52,795 --> 00:08:54,134 - Is there a pool boy? 101 00:08:54,134 --> 00:08:55,155 - There is a pool boy. 102 00:08:55,155 --> 00:08:55,988 - Is he hot? 103 00:08:55,988 --> 00:08:57,454 - He is really good-looking. 104 00:08:57,454 --> 00:08:58,537 - Women only? 105 00:08:59,683 --> 00:09:02,105 - The beach is a quarter mile that way, 106 00:09:02,105 --> 00:09:05,463 and the bar's fully stocked with all the best liquor. 107 00:09:05,463 --> 00:09:07,703 I myself don't drink, but I hear it's really good. 108 00:09:07,703 --> 00:09:09,515 - This is a great porn house. 109 00:09:09,515 --> 00:09:11,974 - Oh, you've shot here? (laughter) 110 00:09:11,974 --> 00:09:14,403 - Anyway, that's about it, so if you need anything else, 111 00:09:14,403 --> 00:09:15,774 call me on this number. 112 00:09:15,774 --> 00:09:16,743 - Thank you so much. 113 00:09:16,743 --> 00:09:18,963 - I'm gonna get out of your hair now. 114 00:09:18,963 --> 00:09:20,403 Don't do anything I wouldn't do. 115 00:09:20,403 --> 00:09:23,273 - Now, exactly what might that be? 116 00:09:23,273 --> 00:09:27,495 - (chuckling) Oh my God, I love her. 117 00:09:27,495 --> 00:09:29,183 - Congratulations on your nuptials. 118 00:09:29,183 --> 00:09:30,075 - Thank you so much. 119 00:09:30,075 --> 00:09:31,143 - Enjoy, ladies! 120 00:09:31,143 --> 00:09:34,343 - Cheers, to Rachel's marriage to Cam! 121 00:09:34,343 --> 00:09:35,705 - Woo, good times! 122 00:09:35,705 --> 00:09:36,788 - Good times. 123 00:09:39,185 --> 00:09:42,675 - Rachel! Kim, Daphne, come here! 124 00:09:42,675 --> 00:09:45,683 - What the fuck is it with her and trampolines? 125 00:09:45,683 --> 00:09:47,374 - Tramps love tramps, honey. 126 00:09:47,374 --> 00:09:48,654 - That's good. 127 00:09:48,654 --> 00:09:49,966 - [Rachel] Right? - [Kim] Yeah, score. 128 00:09:49,966 --> 00:09:51,387 - [Rachel] Thank you. 129 00:09:51,387 --> 00:09:53,220 - So, are you nervous? 130 00:09:54,158 --> 00:09:55,311 - About tomorrow? 131 00:09:55,311 --> 00:09:57,817 No, are you kiddin', I love that man. 132 00:09:57,817 --> 00:09:59,686 - I still don't understand why, of all the women in 133 00:09:59,686 --> 00:10:03,210 the world, he chose me to settle down with. 134 00:10:03,210 --> 00:10:05,006 Not that I'm complaining, mind you. 135 00:10:05,006 --> 00:10:06,923 - That was so much fun. 136 00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:10,833 - Jesus. 137 00:10:10,833 --> 00:10:12,438 - Well... 138 00:10:12,438 --> 00:10:15,636 I, for one, will never allow myself to get tied down. 139 00:10:15,636 --> 00:10:17,049 - We all know you're the one that loves to do 140 00:10:17,049 --> 00:10:18,947 the tying down, sweetie. 141 00:10:18,947 --> 00:10:21,027 I've seen your collection of whips and ball gags. 142 00:10:21,027 --> 00:10:23,997 - Bunnies and rabbits, and stripper heels, and tutus. 143 00:10:23,997 --> 00:10:24,830 - Tutus? 144 00:10:26,318 --> 00:10:28,577 It's not like I was in a rush to get married, 145 00:10:28,577 --> 00:10:31,244 but when I met Cam, I just knew. 146 00:10:33,387 --> 00:10:34,837 - I'm sorry. 147 00:10:34,837 --> 00:10:37,170 I'll get something for that. 148 00:10:38,169 --> 00:10:39,467 - Is she gonna be okay? 149 00:10:39,467 --> 00:10:42,037 - Yeah, she'll be fine. 150 00:10:42,037 --> 00:10:43,787 It's ancient history. 151 00:10:44,987 --> 00:10:47,758 (waves crashing) 152 00:10:47,758 --> 00:10:50,258 (eerie music) 153 00:11:20,889 --> 00:11:25,230 (groaning) (gasping) 154 00:11:25,230 --> 00:11:26,670 - [Rachel] Daphne? - [Daphne] Yeah? 155 00:11:26,670 --> 00:11:29,329 - Daphne, come on, honey, wake up! 156 00:11:29,329 --> 00:11:30,469 - Where's my hat? 157 00:11:30,469 --> 00:11:32,589 - You must've fallen asleep out here. 158 00:11:32,589 --> 00:11:34,259 Daphne, come on, honey, wake up! 159 00:11:34,259 --> 00:11:36,329 - What, Rachel? 160 00:11:36,329 --> 00:11:38,419 - Daphne, what happened last night? 161 00:11:38,419 --> 00:11:40,399 I remember having drinks by the pool, 162 00:11:40,399 --> 00:11:42,989 and then everything after that is a complete blank. 163 00:11:42,989 --> 00:11:46,121 - Well, we had a pretty good time, that's what happened! 164 00:11:46,121 --> 00:11:47,379 - Do you know where Sharon and Kim are? 165 00:11:47,379 --> 00:11:48,470 - They're not in their rooms? 166 00:11:48,470 --> 00:11:49,521 - No. 167 00:11:49,521 --> 00:11:53,859 Okay, um, I need you to get up and come with me, okay? 168 00:11:53,859 --> 00:11:56,139 Daphne, Daphne! Daphne! 169 00:11:56,139 --> 00:11:58,387 - Okay, I'm coming, okay, I'm coming. 170 00:11:58,387 --> 00:12:00,637 (groaning) 171 00:12:01,566 --> 00:12:04,899 - Come on, I have to show you something. 172 00:12:07,366 --> 00:12:10,622 - Oh Jesus, what is he doing here? 173 00:12:10,622 --> 00:12:12,177 - Who is he? 174 00:12:12,177 --> 00:12:13,922 - The stripper. 175 00:12:13,922 --> 00:12:15,505 Don't you remember? 176 00:12:27,481 --> 00:12:28,484 I think he's dead. 177 00:12:28,484 --> 00:12:29,317 - Yes! 178 00:12:29,317 --> 00:12:30,150 - Uh... 179 00:12:32,614 --> 00:12:33,944 What did you do? 180 00:12:33,944 --> 00:12:34,983 Did you two-- 181 00:12:34,983 --> 00:12:37,756 - [Rachel] No! - [Daphne] Rachel. 182 00:12:37,756 --> 00:12:38,703 - I don't think so. 183 00:12:38,703 --> 00:12:40,534 - Gosh, oh boy, this is bad. 184 00:12:40,534 --> 00:12:42,324 - Look at the mark on his neck. 185 00:12:42,324 --> 00:12:43,625 It looks like he was strangled. 186 00:12:43,625 --> 00:12:44,473 - Strangled? 187 00:12:44,473 --> 00:12:46,944 Somebody came in here and killed him? 188 00:12:46,944 --> 00:12:49,825 - So you remember him showing up last night? 189 00:12:49,825 --> 00:12:52,783 - Of course I remember him. 190 00:12:52,783 --> 00:12:54,793 He was a surprise, but you were already 191 00:12:54,793 --> 00:12:56,284 pretty wasted by then. 192 00:12:56,284 --> 00:12:59,034 (waves crashing) 193 00:12:59,985 --> 00:13:02,144 - Hey, where are you going so fast? 194 00:13:02,144 --> 00:13:02,977 Come on! 195 00:13:04,004 --> 00:13:05,654 What's with the outfit? 196 00:13:05,654 --> 00:13:08,334 I thought you were coming dressed as a policeman. 197 00:13:08,334 --> 00:13:10,004 - Yeah, the girls at the last party got a little 198 00:13:10,004 --> 00:13:12,204 too excited, and by too excited I meant 199 00:13:12,204 --> 00:13:13,382 they ripped my uniform 'cause they couldn't 200 00:13:13,382 --> 00:13:15,462 wait to suck my dick, but, uh, 201 00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:16,452 I had to improvise. 202 00:13:16,452 --> 00:13:19,382 - I wonder kinda damage we're gonna do to this uniform. 203 00:13:19,382 --> 00:13:21,222 - Yeah, we should get started, I'm hourly. 204 00:13:21,222 --> 00:13:22,782 - I like the suspenders. 205 00:13:22,782 --> 00:13:25,012 - Yeah, they're stretchy. 206 00:13:25,012 --> 00:13:26,022 - Hey, girls! 207 00:13:26,022 --> 00:13:28,687 (laughter) 208 00:13:28,687 --> 00:13:30,679 You smell somethin' burnin'? 209 00:13:30,679 --> 00:13:33,846 - [Daphne] The party's over here baby! 210 00:13:36,559 --> 00:13:39,808 - Who's that? (cheering) 211 00:13:39,808 --> 00:13:40,808 Who is that? 212 00:13:41,959 --> 00:13:43,719 - [Sharon] Who is this? 213 00:13:43,719 --> 00:13:46,176 - [Stripper] There's a spot for you right here! 214 00:13:46,176 --> 00:13:47,676 It's on the rocks! 215 00:13:49,219 --> 00:13:50,610 - I don't have to. 216 00:13:50,610 --> 00:13:52,631 - [Stripper] Oh girls, take my clothes off, 217 00:13:52,631 --> 00:13:54,881 loosen up my buttons, baby! 218 00:13:56,319 --> 00:13:57,671 - That's what I'm talking about. 219 00:13:57,671 --> 00:13:59,090 - [Stripper] Oh, there goes the suspenders! 220 00:13:59,090 --> 00:14:00,399 What's under here, I don't know, 221 00:14:00,399 --> 00:14:02,584 it might be a dick, oh, 222 00:14:02,584 --> 00:14:05,350 it's a dick, behind door one! 223 00:14:05,350 --> 00:14:06,398 - Oh my... 224 00:14:06,398 --> 00:14:09,731 (cheering and shouting) 225 00:14:12,518 --> 00:14:14,459 It's a teabag robot! 226 00:14:14,459 --> 00:14:17,518 From the future, oh, I'm from the future to 227 00:14:17,518 --> 00:14:20,089 teabag the bachelorette! 228 00:14:20,089 --> 00:14:24,256 (Rachel screams) (stripper cheers) 229 00:14:25,920 --> 00:14:27,753 It's the teabag robot! 230 00:14:32,979 --> 00:14:33,812 Bite it! 231 00:14:36,241 --> 00:14:37,739 - Okay, okay, okay! 232 00:14:37,739 --> 00:14:40,408 The fire is out, the fire is out! 233 00:14:40,408 --> 00:14:42,370 (laughing) (waves crashing) 234 00:14:42,370 --> 00:14:44,620 - I can't recall any of it! 235 00:14:46,361 --> 00:14:49,028 What happened after we finished? 236 00:14:49,886 --> 00:14:51,321 - I thought he left. 237 00:14:51,321 --> 00:14:54,601 After the fight with Sharon... 238 00:14:54,601 --> 00:14:56,561 (waves crashing) 239 00:14:56,561 --> 00:14:58,700 - [Daphne] All right, Rachel, come on now, honey. 240 00:14:58,700 --> 00:15:01,351 It's time for bed, you can do it. 241 00:15:01,351 --> 00:15:03,543 - Have you seen my hat? It's a rental. 242 00:15:03,543 --> 00:15:06,202 - No, but I see a really hot ass I'd 243 00:15:06,202 --> 00:15:07,879 love to be my patient. 244 00:15:07,879 --> 00:15:10,531 Hey, you ever done it on a trampoline? 245 00:15:10,531 --> 00:15:12,249 It's really awesome. 246 00:15:12,249 --> 00:15:14,749 - No thanks, I'm not into cougars. 247 00:15:14,749 --> 00:15:16,880 - Well, what good are you, too? 248 00:15:16,880 --> 00:15:18,920 - Yeah, but from here, looks like it's time to 249 00:15:18,920 --> 00:15:20,670 learn the word botox. 250 00:15:21,569 --> 00:15:25,736 - You're a fucking asshole! (glass breaks) 251 00:15:26,619 --> 00:15:27,619 - One dance. 252 00:15:29,203 --> 00:15:30,036 - I like a dance. 253 00:15:30,036 --> 00:15:34,119 - Come on, get up here, get that hot ass up here. 254 00:15:35,190 --> 00:15:36,886 You're a saucy one! 255 00:15:36,886 --> 00:15:37,719 Yeah! 256 00:15:39,590 --> 00:15:42,599 Let me see that ass, let me see that cute ass. 257 00:15:42,599 --> 00:15:44,432 Yeah, oh, grind on it. 258 00:15:45,451 --> 00:15:46,854 You feel that? 259 00:15:46,854 --> 00:15:51,059 Wakin' the monster, I wanna have your mixed race baby. 260 00:15:51,059 --> 00:15:51,951 (screaming) (water splashing) 261 00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:52,784 - Shit! 262 00:15:56,701 --> 00:15:58,221 I'd watch out for Sharon, she caught her last 263 00:15:58,221 --> 00:16:00,770 boyfriend cheating, took a crowbar to his head. 264 00:16:00,770 --> 00:16:03,040 He's just now starting to remember his name. 265 00:16:03,040 --> 00:16:05,500 - If the dude's got no memory of datin' that bitch, 266 00:16:05,500 --> 00:16:06,479 he's a lucky man. 267 00:16:06,479 --> 00:16:08,151 - I'm gonna fucking kill you! 268 00:16:08,151 --> 00:16:10,719 - You don't think Sharon... 269 00:16:10,719 --> 00:16:12,504 - We all know what she's capable of, 270 00:16:12,504 --> 00:16:14,359 remember what she did to poor Jason? 271 00:16:14,359 --> 00:16:16,671 - Hey hey hey, back with the coffee and scones, 272 00:16:16,671 --> 00:16:18,588 hangover cures for all. 273 00:16:21,170 --> 00:16:23,219 (laughing) 274 00:16:23,219 --> 00:16:24,719 Is that who I think it is? 275 00:16:24,719 --> 00:16:26,850 - He's dead, Kim. 276 00:16:26,850 --> 00:16:27,683 - What? 277 00:16:28,541 --> 00:16:29,711 How? 278 00:16:29,711 --> 00:16:31,701 - We don't know. 279 00:16:31,701 --> 00:16:33,450 - Well, did you call the police? 280 00:16:33,450 --> 00:16:34,283 - No. 281 00:16:35,505 --> 00:16:36,951 Not yet. 282 00:16:36,951 --> 00:16:38,900 - Well why, we have to call them right now! 283 00:16:38,900 --> 00:16:42,301 - No, wait, let's just take a beat. 284 00:16:42,301 --> 00:16:43,381 What if they arrest us? 285 00:16:43,381 --> 00:16:45,191 - Nobody's gonna get arrested! 286 00:16:45,191 --> 00:16:47,119 I mean, look at him! 287 00:16:47,119 --> 00:16:49,181 He probably pumped himself full of so many steroids, 288 00:16:49,181 --> 00:16:50,759 his heart finally gave out! 289 00:16:50,759 --> 00:16:52,859 - I don't think this is drug related. 290 00:16:52,859 --> 00:16:56,026 Whoever killed him could've used this. 291 00:16:58,101 --> 00:16:59,351 - Jesus Christ. 292 00:17:00,559 --> 00:17:02,039 I mean, how did he get here? 293 00:17:02,039 --> 00:17:03,219 - I don't know! 294 00:17:03,219 --> 00:17:06,959 - She can't remember if she had sex with him or not. 295 00:17:06,959 --> 00:17:09,421 - You had sex with this slimebag? 296 00:17:09,421 --> 00:17:10,588 - No, no, I... 297 00:17:11,850 --> 00:17:14,091 Would you stop saying that? 298 00:17:14,091 --> 00:17:16,249 - I can't believe this, we really have to call the police. 299 00:17:16,249 --> 00:17:18,375 - Please just wait! 300 00:17:18,375 --> 00:17:20,481 Just give me a second to think! 301 00:17:20,481 --> 00:17:23,029 Oh God, it's my wedding day, what if Cam finds out? 302 00:17:23,029 --> 00:17:24,539 - It's not a question of if he finds out, 303 00:17:24,539 --> 00:17:26,681 darling, he's going to find out. 304 00:17:26,681 --> 00:17:28,514 - Whose phone is this? 305 00:17:29,459 --> 00:17:31,470 - Mine, I've been looking for it everywhere. 306 00:17:31,470 --> 00:17:33,070 (moaning) 307 00:17:33,070 --> 00:17:33,903 What? 308 00:17:36,649 --> 00:17:37,482 Oh God! 309 00:17:39,150 --> 00:17:40,983 - Yep. You fucked him. 310 00:17:42,689 --> 00:17:46,689 (comedic music) - What the fuck? 311 00:18:08,447 --> 00:18:10,667 Where the hell is the coffee maker? 312 00:18:10,667 --> 00:18:14,547 I feel like I'm doing that show Stomp inside my head. 313 00:18:14,547 --> 00:18:15,714 - Hey! Sharon! 314 00:18:17,198 --> 00:18:18,227 Did you do it? 315 00:18:18,227 --> 00:18:19,060 - Do what? 316 00:18:22,819 --> 00:18:24,069 - The stripper! 317 00:18:26,187 --> 00:18:28,020 - No, I didn't do him. 318 00:18:29,187 --> 00:18:30,647 Not for lack of trying. 319 00:18:30,647 --> 00:18:31,980 - Hey, hey, hey. 320 00:18:32,982 --> 00:18:34,399 Did you kill him? 321 00:18:37,369 --> 00:18:39,447 Yeah, he's here. 322 00:18:39,447 --> 00:18:41,655 He's pretty stiff, and I'm not talkin' 323 00:18:41,655 --> 00:18:42,671 about his cock, either. 324 00:18:42,671 --> 00:18:43,504 - What? 325 00:18:47,457 --> 00:18:49,025 You think I did this? 326 00:18:49,025 --> 00:18:50,875 - Given your history, is it any surprise 327 00:18:50,875 --> 00:18:52,105 our minds went there? 328 00:18:52,105 --> 00:18:54,377 - Daphne heard you threaten to kill him last night. 329 00:18:54,377 --> 00:18:56,326 - I wasn't serious! 330 00:18:56,326 --> 00:18:58,425 Jesus, guys, how could you think that I 331 00:18:58,425 --> 00:18:59,846 would do something like this? 332 00:18:59,846 --> 00:19:02,565 - Somebody strangled him and put him in Rachel's bed. 333 00:19:02,565 --> 00:19:05,166 - And you are the only one that had a problem with him. 334 00:19:05,166 --> 00:19:06,846 - So you found him here? 335 00:19:06,846 --> 00:19:08,179 In Rachel's bed? 336 00:19:15,555 --> 00:19:19,246 And obviously Rachel was the last one to see him alive. 337 00:19:19,246 --> 00:19:22,715 - I don't remember having sex with him and 338 00:19:22,715 --> 00:19:24,591 maybe I don't remember killing him, either. 339 00:19:24,591 --> 00:19:28,481 - That's ridiculous, you couldn't hurt anyone. 340 00:19:28,481 --> 00:19:29,642 - But I could? 341 00:19:29,642 --> 00:19:32,642 My own BFFs, thanks for the support! 342 00:19:34,098 --> 00:19:36,138 What about Daphne? 343 00:19:36,138 --> 00:19:37,378 - Me? 344 00:19:37,378 --> 00:19:38,959 - We all know that you're still in love with Cam, 345 00:19:38,959 --> 00:19:41,268 ever since you two hooked up at Burning Man! 346 00:19:41,268 --> 00:19:43,858 I bet you would just love to spoil Rachel's big day! 347 00:19:43,858 --> 00:19:47,117 - By killing some innocent guy, get real! 348 00:19:47,117 --> 00:19:49,498 - Daphne and I worked that out ages ago, 349 00:19:49,498 --> 00:19:51,567 which is why she's one of my bridesmaids, 350 00:19:51,567 --> 00:19:53,429 the past is the past. 351 00:19:53,429 --> 00:19:55,818 - Okay, we really should call the cops. 352 00:19:55,818 --> 00:19:57,589 The longer that we wait, the worse that this is 353 00:19:57,589 --> 00:19:58,947 gonna look for us! 354 00:19:58,947 --> 00:20:02,682 I mean, they can determine the time of death! 355 00:20:02,682 --> 00:20:05,549 They're gonna wonder why did we wait so long! 356 00:20:05,549 --> 00:20:08,069 - I think we should get rid of the body! 357 00:20:08,069 --> 00:20:09,189 - Of course you do. 358 00:20:09,189 --> 00:20:11,327 - We could put it behind some bushes at 359 00:20:11,327 --> 00:20:15,267 a deserted park, or in a dumpster in an alley. 360 00:20:15,267 --> 00:20:18,032 We'll just say that he came, he did his thing, and he left. 361 00:20:18,032 --> 00:20:19,527 He could've been killed on his way 362 00:20:19,527 --> 00:20:21,039 home by a mugger or something. 363 00:20:21,039 --> 00:20:22,956 - No, we'll get caught. 364 00:20:24,188 --> 00:20:26,178 Do you not watch CSI? 365 00:20:26,178 --> 00:20:27,928 - [Sharon] Which one? 366 00:20:29,407 --> 00:20:31,207 - Look, people that do stupid things, 367 00:20:31,207 --> 00:20:32,218 they always get caught. 368 00:20:32,218 --> 00:20:36,199 - So first I was a killer, and now I'm stupid? 369 00:20:36,199 --> 00:20:38,187 - Okay, it's my wedding day! 370 00:20:38,187 --> 00:20:39,349 I don't wanna go to jail! 371 00:20:39,349 --> 00:20:40,787 - Maybe we should consider it. 372 00:20:40,787 --> 00:20:42,947 - You are all not thinking clearly. 373 00:20:42,947 --> 00:20:45,309 (doorbell rings) 374 00:20:45,309 --> 00:20:46,399 - [Owner] Hello? 375 00:20:46,399 --> 00:20:47,232 - The owner. 376 00:20:47,232 --> 00:20:48,427 - Is anyone home? 377 00:20:48,427 --> 00:20:49,439 - [Kim] She's coming in. 378 00:20:49,439 --> 00:20:50,490 - Stall her! 379 00:20:50,490 --> 00:20:51,323 We'll hide the body. 380 00:20:51,323 --> 00:20:52,678 - Ladies, are you in there? 381 00:20:52,678 --> 00:20:53,511 - [Sharon] Grab him in front! 382 00:20:53,511 --> 00:20:54,677 - [Daphne] God, I'm not touching him. 383 00:20:54,677 --> 00:20:57,594 - Is everything all right in there? 384 00:20:58,677 --> 00:20:59,758 - Oh, yeah! 385 00:20:59,758 --> 00:21:02,219 We're just helping Rachel get ready. 386 00:21:02,219 --> 00:21:03,389 You know how hard it is to squeeze 387 00:21:03,389 --> 00:21:05,103 a porker into her wedding dress. 388 00:21:05,103 --> 00:21:06,810 She's a stress eater, she put on a few 389 00:21:06,810 --> 00:21:08,158 pounds in the last couple of days, 390 00:21:08,158 --> 00:21:10,018 but anyways, we couldn't get the garbage 391 00:21:10,018 --> 00:21:12,839 disposal to work, but we fixed it! 392 00:21:12,839 --> 00:21:14,879 - [Rachel] What, what? Come on, what? 393 00:21:14,879 --> 00:21:16,919 - [Daphne] I'm sorry, he has a boner or something! 394 00:21:16,919 --> 00:21:18,598 - So everything is fine, so I'm so sorry that 395 00:21:18,598 --> 00:21:20,408 you came over here all the way for nothing. 396 00:21:20,408 --> 00:21:21,241 - Is Rachel inside? 397 00:21:21,241 --> 00:21:22,321 - [Sharon] A boner? 398 00:21:22,321 --> 00:21:23,738 Oh, are you okay? 399 00:21:25,907 --> 00:21:28,246 Let's cover things up. 400 00:21:28,246 --> 00:21:29,526 - [Rachel] My veil. 401 00:21:29,526 --> 00:21:30,776 - Yes, but I... 402 00:21:33,562 --> 00:21:37,312 - I hope he doesn't see someone he shouldn't. 403 00:21:45,467 --> 00:21:47,806 - Cam! What are you doing here? 404 00:21:47,806 --> 00:21:49,186 - You sounded worried earlier, I wanted to 405 00:21:49,186 --> 00:21:51,866 make sure you weren't having pre-wedding jitters. 406 00:21:51,866 --> 00:21:56,546 Took me six shots of espresso to sober up before I got... 407 00:21:56,546 --> 00:21:57,438 I'm gonna throw up. 408 00:21:57,438 --> 00:21:58,271 - No! 409 00:22:00,957 --> 00:22:04,290 (vomiting and coughing) 410 00:22:06,397 --> 00:22:09,008 - What the fuck is that? 411 00:22:09,008 --> 00:22:09,841 - I know. 412 00:22:11,387 --> 00:22:12,220 I know. 413 00:22:18,596 --> 00:22:21,263 We have to postpone the wedding. 414 00:22:24,638 --> 00:22:25,471 - No. 415 00:22:26,358 --> 00:22:28,256 - Cam, we have no choice. 416 00:22:28,256 --> 00:22:31,923 - We're doing it, just as we planned, today. 417 00:22:33,402 --> 00:22:34,235 - Why? 418 00:22:34,235 --> 00:22:36,796 - Because I have to be married by the time I'm 30! 419 00:22:36,796 --> 00:22:38,796 - Sweetie, no you don't. 420 00:22:40,866 --> 00:22:43,516 - When my grandmother died, she left me a 10 million 421 00:22:43,516 --> 00:22:46,796 dollar trust fund, but there was a catch. 422 00:22:46,796 --> 00:22:48,466 She stipulated that I have to be married by 423 00:22:48,466 --> 00:22:52,105 my 30th birthday, or I don't get the money. 424 00:22:52,105 --> 00:22:54,234 - Why would she do something like that? 425 00:22:54,234 --> 00:22:55,754 - Gram was around long enough to see me 426 00:22:55,754 --> 00:22:57,921 go through my wild period. 427 00:22:59,384 --> 00:23:02,164 Let's just say she didn't exactly approve. 428 00:23:02,164 --> 00:23:04,815 She wanted me to settle down, make something of myself, 429 00:23:04,815 --> 00:23:07,898 which I did, just after she was gone. 430 00:23:09,506 --> 00:23:10,764 But there's still that clause in the will 431 00:23:10,764 --> 00:23:12,596 that I need to adhere to. 432 00:23:12,596 --> 00:23:13,584 - Why didn't you tell me? 433 00:23:13,584 --> 00:23:15,836 - I was going to, I just... 434 00:23:15,836 --> 00:23:17,055 I didn't want you to think that I was 435 00:23:17,055 --> 00:23:21,222 marrying you just so I could get my hands on the money. 436 00:23:22,324 --> 00:23:25,991 I'm marrying you because I love you, Rachel. 437 00:23:27,476 --> 00:23:29,015 - Okay, that's really sweet, but what I want to 438 00:23:29,015 --> 00:23:33,182 know is what happens to the money if you don't get married? 439 00:23:38,676 --> 00:23:39,509 - Kim... 440 00:23:43,426 --> 00:23:45,784 - Oh my God, it was you. 441 00:23:45,784 --> 00:23:47,701 You hired the stripper. 442 00:23:48,813 --> 00:23:51,235 And you made my first drink. 443 00:23:51,235 --> 00:23:54,783 You spiked it, which is why I was so out of it, 444 00:23:54,783 --> 00:23:57,323 and can't remember anything! 445 00:23:57,323 --> 00:24:00,490 And someone would've had to record it. 446 00:24:01,584 --> 00:24:04,813 You actually made moans to make it look like 447 00:24:04,813 --> 00:24:07,403 it was actually happening, like I was awake 448 00:24:07,403 --> 00:24:09,320 and I was enjoying it?! 449 00:24:10,213 --> 00:24:13,264 And you were gonna email it to Cam. 450 00:24:13,264 --> 00:24:15,864 So he'd call off the wedding. 451 00:24:15,864 --> 00:24:19,947 And you would be next in line for the trust fund. 452 00:24:21,523 --> 00:24:22,356 - Kim. 453 00:24:24,955 --> 00:24:26,963 Did you really murder this poor guy? 454 00:24:26,963 --> 00:24:28,595 - Poor guy. 455 00:24:28,595 --> 00:24:30,573 Poor guy, oh come on, Cam, get off your 456 00:24:30,573 --> 00:24:32,835 high fucking horse, poor guy, 457 00:24:32,835 --> 00:24:35,585 he was just some sleazy stripper. 458 00:24:37,003 --> 00:24:39,184 Anyways, it was his own fault. 459 00:24:39,184 --> 00:24:42,488 No one was supposed to get hurt. 460 00:24:42,488 --> 00:24:44,323 But the bastard got greedy. 461 00:24:44,323 --> 00:24:45,293 That was shit. 462 00:24:45,293 --> 00:24:46,942 - This is grade-A cock right here. 463 00:24:46,942 --> 00:24:49,144 I'm a fuckin' pro, baby. 464 00:24:49,144 --> 00:24:52,523 - He demanded half of the money. 465 00:24:52,523 --> 00:24:56,493 Threatened to expose me to you and Rachel. 466 00:24:56,493 --> 00:24:58,315 Five million dollars, and then that was it. 467 00:24:58,315 --> 00:24:59,664 - I think I deserve a little tip on top of that. 468 00:24:59,664 --> 00:25:00,703 - I don't think you do at all. 469 00:25:00,703 --> 00:25:01,943 - Sometimes it's nice to tip a nice performance. 470 00:25:01,943 --> 00:25:03,003 - We're talkin' five million dollars here. 471 00:25:03,003 --> 00:25:05,233 - I'm talkin' one million dollars more on top of that. 472 00:25:05,233 --> 00:25:08,504 - So I just agreed to shut him up. 473 00:25:08,504 --> 00:25:10,663 But come on, I wasn't just gonna 474 00:25:10,663 --> 00:25:12,773 hand over five million dollars to some 475 00:25:12,773 --> 00:25:15,822 lameass cock jock fireman, so I made him 476 00:25:15,822 --> 00:25:19,572 the same special cocktail that I made Rachel. 477 00:25:20,563 --> 00:25:23,980 And I kept him busy until it took effect. 478 00:25:26,863 --> 00:25:29,123 (moaning and grunting) 479 00:25:29,123 --> 00:25:30,883 - Fuck yeah! 480 00:25:30,883 --> 00:25:33,633 (dramatic music) 481 00:25:54,353 --> 00:25:56,153 - [Voiceover] And I could handle this 482 00:25:56,153 --> 00:25:58,236 problem once and for all. 483 00:25:59,884 --> 00:26:03,273 But it turned out to be a much better plan 484 00:26:03,273 --> 00:26:05,633 than I anticipated. 485 00:26:05,633 --> 00:26:08,103 Because cheating is one thing. 486 00:26:08,103 --> 00:26:10,532 But accidentally killing a trick during a sex 487 00:26:10,532 --> 00:26:14,972 game gone wrong the night before your wedding, well... 488 00:26:14,972 --> 00:26:17,305 There's just no way that Cam 489 00:26:18,233 --> 00:26:20,764 was ever gonna say I do. 490 00:26:20,764 --> 00:26:21,713 Not to her. 491 00:26:21,713 --> 00:26:24,793 - No wonder you wanted to call the cops! 492 00:26:24,793 --> 00:26:26,852 You knew it looked bad for me. 493 00:26:26,852 --> 00:26:28,935 - I did what I had to do. 494 00:26:30,013 --> 00:26:33,846 I mean, we're talking 10 million dollars here. 495 00:26:35,084 --> 00:26:36,251 It's not fair. 496 00:26:37,265 --> 00:26:39,174 Okay, I was the good girl. 497 00:26:39,174 --> 00:26:42,489 I went to Nana's house every Sunday. 498 00:26:42,489 --> 00:26:46,013 I remembered her birthdays, he didn't. 499 00:26:46,013 --> 00:26:50,064 I was the one that got straight A's, I was the good girl. 500 00:26:50,064 --> 00:26:52,814 But the bitch left it all to him. 501 00:26:53,864 --> 00:26:55,864 Thought he could change. 502 00:26:57,025 --> 00:27:01,065 But it wasn't the money that changed him, Rachel. 503 00:27:01,065 --> 00:27:01,982 It was you. 504 00:27:04,004 --> 00:27:06,825 - Your little Fredericks of Hollywood number, 505 00:27:06,825 --> 00:27:08,695 is it pre-shrunk? 506 00:27:08,695 --> 00:27:09,528 - No. 507 00:27:16,384 --> 00:27:18,634 - Worst maid of honor ever! 508 00:27:21,835 --> 00:27:26,002 (radio chatter) (somber music) 509 00:27:28,385 --> 00:27:31,375 - So I guess I won't be giving you my toast. 510 00:27:31,375 --> 00:27:32,945 - Kim, this is serious. 511 00:27:32,945 --> 00:27:35,167 You killed someone. 512 00:27:35,167 --> 00:27:36,000 - I know. 513 00:27:37,215 --> 00:27:40,385 But I also know what kind of man you are, Cam. 514 00:27:40,385 --> 00:27:42,396 And you'll spend most of that 10 million dollars 515 00:27:42,396 --> 00:27:46,229 on the best doctors and lawyers to get me off. 516 00:27:48,475 --> 00:27:50,058 I'll see you again. 517 00:27:51,308 --> 00:27:52,141 Soon. 518 00:27:54,628 --> 00:27:57,545 Oh, and will you save me some cake? 519 00:27:58,407 --> 00:28:01,876 You know how I love baking some cake. 520 00:28:01,876 --> 00:28:04,047 - I'll come visit you, okay, 521 00:28:04,047 --> 00:28:05,807 and I'll get you the cake. 522 00:28:05,807 --> 00:28:06,640 - No, no. 523 00:28:14,457 --> 00:28:17,124 (radio chatter) 524 00:28:30,544 --> 00:28:32,304 - It's been said it's bad luck for a bride 525 00:28:32,304 --> 00:28:35,384 and groom to see each other before the wedding. 526 00:28:35,384 --> 00:28:37,044 Although, after the day they've had, 527 00:28:37,044 --> 00:28:39,364 I don't blame Rachel or Cam for throwing 528 00:28:39,364 --> 00:28:41,435 caution to the wind. 529 00:28:41,435 --> 00:28:45,355 As for lessons learned, it's an age old question for woman: 530 00:28:45,355 --> 00:28:48,272 Do you marry for love or for money? 531 00:28:49,136 --> 00:28:51,584 (laughing) 532 00:28:51,584 --> 00:28:53,496 Lucky, though, for Rachel Worth, 533 00:28:53,496 --> 00:28:55,984 today she doesn't have to choose. 534 00:28:55,984 --> 00:28:56,817 Mahalo! 535 00:28:58,704 --> 00:29:02,075 ♫ You said you want to marry me 536 00:29:02,075 --> 00:29:06,120 ♫ It's dark in here, I cannot find the light 537 00:29:06,120 --> 00:29:09,364 ♫ You said why don't we go outside 538 00:29:09,364 --> 00:29:13,885 ♫ We can wander round, we can stay up all night 539 00:29:13,885 --> 00:29:16,824 ♫ I know I have to come along 540 00:29:16,824 --> 00:29:18,835 ♫ If I want to find it 541 00:29:18,835 --> 00:29:22,502 ♫ If I want to make it real 542 00:29:23,945 --> 00:29:27,216 ♫ Oh, I might like that 543 00:29:27,216 --> 00:29:31,644 ♫ Everything has lost its impact 544 00:29:31,644 --> 00:29:34,656 ♫ Oh, I might like that 545 00:29:34,656 --> 00:29:39,045 ♫ Everything has lost its impact 546 00:29:39,045 --> 00:29:42,754 ♫ Oh, I might like that 547 00:29:42,754 --> 00:29:47,342 ♫ Everything has lost, it gets away from me ♫ 548 00:29:47,342 --> 00:29:51,532 (upbeat flamenco guitar) 549 00:29:51,532 --> 00:29:55,301 (electric buzzing) - [Voiceover] Kill, Ubu, kill! 550 00:29:55,301 --> 00:29:56,134 Good fish. 38552

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