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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:12,635 --> 00:00:15,502 - Morning, honey bun. - Oh, Todd! Close the flap! 2 00:00:15,602 --> 00:00:16,710 You're letting the light in. 3 00:00:16,734 --> 00:00:18,766 What is go... Prudence. 4 00:00:18,866 --> 00:00:19,766 You've been in here for days. 5 00:00:19,866 --> 00:00:22,403 Please don't tell me you're going crazy. 6 00:00:22,503 --> 00:00:23,611 I am too young to have a wife 7 00:00:23,635 --> 00:00:24,799 I have to hide in the attic. 8 00:00:24,899 --> 00:00:25,799 No, it's not that. 9 00:00:25,899 --> 00:00:29,271 Zeke and I had an awkward conversation in Branchwater 10 00:00:29,371 --> 00:00:31,271 and I've kind of been avoiding him. 11 00:00:31,371 --> 00:00:34,700 Hey... as long as it's not a "me" problem, 12 00:00:34,800 --> 00:00:36,535 I really don't care. 13 00:00:36,635 --> 00:00:38,064 Hmm. 14 00:00:38,602 --> 00:00:39,832 I don't remember taking this. 15 00:00:39,932 --> 00:00:41,007 Oh, you don't need to look at that. 16 00:00:41,031 --> 00:00:42,578 - Let's go get some breakfast. - No, what is this? 17 00:00:42,602 --> 00:00:44,931 It's like a small black circle 18 00:00:45,031 --> 00:00:48,932 with two large white orbs on either side. 19 00:00:49,734 --> 00:00:51,865 Todd! Is this your butt? 20 00:00:51,965 --> 00:00:52,502 I'm sorry, okay? 21 00:00:52,602 --> 00:00:53,941 I went to the bathroom in tall grass 22 00:00:53,965 --> 00:00:55,578 and I was worried I got a tick on my butt. 23 00:00:55,602 --> 00:00:57,535 It was the only way that I could look back there. 24 00:00:57,635 --> 00:00:59,601 - What... where are you going? - Gross. 25 00:00:59,701 --> 00:01:00,865 Prudence, I'm sorry. 26 00:01:00,965 --> 00:01:03,568 I didn't mean to... oh, boy. 27 00:01:03,668 --> 00:01:07,535 - Yep. Tick city. - My butt. 28 00:01:07,635 --> 00:01:09,667 A lot. 29 00:01:39,602 --> 00:01:42,502 Hey, Prudence. Long time, no see. 30 00:01:42,602 --> 00:01:44,700 Oh, me? Just chillin'. 31 00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:45,800 Stupid. 32 00:01:45,899 --> 00:01:48,403 Hey, Prudence. 33 00:01:48,503 --> 00:01:50,502 Hey! Hey... uch. 34 00:01:50,602 --> 00:01:52,436 - Hey, Zeke. - Just chillin'! 35 00:01:52,536 --> 00:01:53,568 - What? - Nothing. 36 00:01:53,668 --> 00:01:55,898 So, anyway, I, um... 37 00:01:55,998 --> 00:01:56,799 I really appreciate you 38 00:01:56,899 --> 00:01:58,733 sharing your feelings with me in Branchwater. 39 00:01:58,833 --> 00:02:01,601 I really do, but we could never be a thing. 40 00:02:01,701 --> 00:02:03,436 It's not like I could get a divorce. 41 00:02:03,536 --> 00:02:05,469 I'd be a social pariah forever, and 42 00:02:05,569 --> 00:02:07,809 you don't want to be known as the wife-stealing reverend. 43 00:02:07,866 --> 00:02:10,601 So, I think it would be best for both of us 44 00:02:10,701 --> 00:02:14,031 if you just moved on. 45 00:02:14,866 --> 00:02:16,436 Yeah, no. Of course you're right. 46 00:02:16,536 --> 00:02:17,816 Obviously, this is for the best. 47 00:02:17,899 --> 00:02:19,832 So we can go back to being friends? 48 00:02:19,932 --> 00:02:21,865 No more drama? No more drama. 49 00:02:23,470 --> 00:02:25,634 Everybody freeze! This is a stickup! 50 00:02:25,734 --> 00:02:27,667 Come on! 51 00:02:32,833 --> 00:02:33,733 I'll handle this. 52 00:02:33,833 --> 00:02:36,535 I'm a real bitch before I've had my coffee. 53 00:02:36,635 --> 00:02:38,502 Congratulations. 54 00:02:38,602 --> 00:02:41,502 You've just been robbed by... 55 00:02:41,602 --> 00:02:42,733 - Trig's gang. - Trig? 56 00:02:42,833 --> 00:02:45,601 Hey, honey, it's me! Benny! 57 00:02:45,701 --> 00:02:47,601 - Dad? - Holy smokes! 58 00:02:47,701 --> 00:02:48,701 What are the odds of us 59 00:02:48,800 --> 00:02:50,469 running into each other out here? 60 00:02:50,569 --> 00:02:51,849 Come on, give your old man a hug. 61 00:02:53,470 --> 00:02:54,568 I thought you were dead. 62 00:02:54,668 --> 00:02:56,700 Yeah, well, surprise. 63 00:02:56,800 --> 00:02:59,800 Guys! It's Benny! 64 00:03:00,031 --> 00:03:01,403 Ha ha ha ha! Benny! 65 00:03:01,503 --> 00:03:03,832 Hey, guys! Aw, it's great to see you! 66 00:03:03,932 --> 00:03:06,304 Hey! Wow! The old gang's back together. 67 00:03:06,404 --> 00:03:08,832 I'm sorry. You're not upset about the whole, uh... 68 00:03:08,932 --> 00:03:11,832 "Shooting me in the back and leaving me for dead" thing? 69 00:03:11,932 --> 00:03:13,733 Nah, that's cool. 70 00:03:13,833 --> 00:03:15,403 I get why you did it. 71 00:03:15,503 --> 00:03:16,601 - Uh, you do? - Sure! 72 00:03:16,701 --> 00:03:18,865 I mean, one less guy to split the gold with. 73 00:03:18,965 --> 00:03:20,502 That's just smart business. 74 00:03:20,602 --> 00:03:22,436 I know you didn't mean anything personal. 75 00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:24,931 Right. Nothing personal. Hey, Benny! 76 00:03:25,031 --> 00:03:26,535 Our new hideout's not far from here. 77 00:03:26,635 --> 00:03:29,370 You should come over! Oh, I don't know about that, guys. 78 00:03:29,470 --> 00:03:32,634 No, I'm sure Benny has a full plate, so... 79 00:03:32,734 --> 00:03:33,776 Actually, I'd love to come. 80 00:03:33,800 --> 00:03:37,766 I really missed you. It'd be great to reconnect. 81 00:03:37,866 --> 00:03:39,568 Yeah. 82 00:03:39,668 --> 00:03:41,766 Why would I have a problem with that? Yeah! 83 00:03:41,866 --> 00:03:44,238 Spending time with the father I tried to murder. 84 00:03:44,338 --> 00:03:46,766 Hey, everyone, I'm gonna go hang out with my daughter. 85 00:03:46,866 --> 00:03:47,601 You guys good? 86 00:03:47,701 --> 00:03:49,700 No. 87 00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:50,898 Eh, they're good. 88 00:03:50,998 --> 00:03:52,866 Why did he ask? 89 00:03:54,767 --> 00:03:57,832 What do we do now? They took everything. 90 00:03:57,932 --> 00:03:59,403 Ahoy there! 91 00:03:59,503 --> 00:04:01,502 Ahoy! Whoa. 92 00:04:01,602 --> 00:04:03,535 Looks like you folks 93 00:04:03,635 --> 00:04:04,337 hit a spot of trouble. 94 00:04:04,437 --> 00:04:06,766 Yes, we were just robbed by bandits. 95 00:04:06,866 --> 00:04:07,898 Aw, that's awful! 96 00:04:07,998 --> 00:04:08,799 Brothers and sisters, 97 00:04:08,899 --> 00:04:10,370 let's give these poor people a hand. 98 00:04:10,470 --> 00:04:14,799 ♪♪ Holy, holy, holy ♪♪ 99 00:04:14,899 --> 00:04:17,766 That's a lot of brothers and sisters. 100 00:04:17,866 --> 00:04:19,535 We are Noonans. 101 00:04:19,635 --> 00:04:20,766 I'm the prophet Jedidiah. 102 00:04:20,866 --> 00:04:22,700 God spoke to me and asked me 103 00:04:22,800 --> 00:04:24,502 to lead my people to the west 104 00:04:24,602 --> 00:04:26,568 to escape religious persecution. 105 00:04:26,668 --> 00:04:27,799 That's a pretty bold claim, 106 00:04:27,899 --> 00:04:29,568 that God speaks directly to you. 107 00:04:29,668 --> 00:04:31,832 I'm sorry, hold on. God's calling. 108 00:04:31,932 --> 00:04:32,799 Yes, God? Hello? 109 00:04:32,899 --> 00:04:34,766 Yeah, I'm with some people right now. 110 00:04:34,866 --> 00:04:35,875 Are you talking to God right now? 111 00:04:35,899 --> 00:04:37,634 Can you please tell him I'm a huge fan? 112 00:04:37,734 --> 00:04:38,743 Reverend Ezekiel Brown says hi. 113 00:04:38,767 --> 00:04:42,668 Reverend Ezekiel Brown says hi, God. 114 00:04:43,767 --> 00:04:45,535 - God says hi. - Nice! 115 00:04:45,635 --> 00:04:47,700 Okay, God, bye-bye. 116 00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:48,667 I'm so sorry about that. 117 00:04:48,767 --> 00:04:49,908 - No. - Hey, would you folks mind 118 00:04:49,932 --> 00:04:52,403 if we fixed up your wagons and replenished your supplies? 119 00:04:52,503 --> 00:04:55,205 Are you... sure! I mean, that is a huge favor. 120 00:04:55,305 --> 00:04:57,898 Are you kidding? You will be doing us a favor! 121 00:04:57,998 --> 00:05:00,403 There is nothing we Noonans like more 122 00:05:00,503 --> 00:05:01,700 than to help people in need. 123 00:05:01,800 --> 00:05:02,800 Please? 124 00:05:02,899 --> 00:05:04,337 Oh, I mean, yeah, yeah, yeah. 125 00:05:04,437 --> 00:05:05,875 - Sure, go ahead. - You hear that, Noonans? 126 00:05:05,899 --> 00:05:07,634 Let's show them how we say thank you. 127 00:05:07,734 --> 00:05:08,865 Thank you. 128 00:05:08,965 --> 00:05:09,965 Uh. 129 00:05:12,932 --> 00:05:15,064 Oh, okay. 130 00:05:16,833 --> 00:05:17,535 I'm Phaedra. 131 00:05:17,635 --> 00:05:19,568 I take it you are the... 132 00:05:19,668 --> 00:05:20,809 spiritual leader of your group? 133 00:05:20,833 --> 00:05:23,337 Well, I don't know if I'd call myself the leader, per se. 134 00:05:23,437 --> 00:05:26,436 Most people tend to ignore or openly scorn me. 135 00:05:26,536 --> 00:05:30,767 Well, I find it quite attractive. 136 00:05:34,031 --> 00:05:34,403 Huh. 137 00:05:34,503 --> 00:05:37,635 Maybe today won't be so bad after all. 138 00:05:41,866 --> 00:05:44,403 So, this is the new lair. 139 00:05:44,503 --> 00:05:48,799 Aw, damn, Trig! This is swank! Ha! 140 00:05:48,899 --> 00:05:50,337 Well, under my leadership, 141 00:05:50,437 --> 00:05:52,337 the gang is doing better than ever. 142 00:05:52,437 --> 00:05:53,517 We're up in every sector... 143 00:05:53,569 --> 00:05:55,898 robberies, murders, trains exploded. 144 00:05:55,998 --> 00:05:58,238 - Nice. - Mm-hmm. 145 00:05:58,338 --> 00:06:00,502 Though there's a little too much sunlight 146 00:06:00,602 --> 00:06:01,602 getting in for my taste. 147 00:06:01,635 --> 00:06:03,667 I mean, shouldn't a bandits' lair be 148 00:06:03,767 --> 00:06:05,370 more spooky-scary? 149 00:06:05,470 --> 00:06:06,974 Okay, studies show that bandits 150 00:06:06,998 --> 00:06:08,799 are more productive in a well-lit workspace. 151 00:06:08,899 --> 00:06:11,502 Plus, we're not always shooting each other by mistake 152 00:06:11,602 --> 00:06:13,436 like we were in the old lair. 153 00:06:13,536 --> 00:06:15,503 Oh. Well, that's good, I guess. 154 00:06:15,833 --> 00:06:16,601 Oh, my God. 155 00:06:16,701 --> 00:06:18,541 What'd you do with the treasure? I organized it. 156 00:06:18,602 --> 00:06:20,766 This way it's easier to find what you're looking for. 157 00:06:20,866 --> 00:06:21,766 No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 158 00:06:21,866 --> 00:06:24,535 You're missing the whole point of having treasure. 159 00:06:24,635 --> 00:06:26,634 It's gotta be in a big sloppy pile 160 00:06:26,734 --> 00:06:28,535 preferably with a skull on top 161 00:06:28,635 --> 00:06:31,634 with big rubies for eyes. Dad! 162 00:06:31,734 --> 00:06:34,667 I'm glad that you want to reconnect, 163 00:06:34,767 --> 00:06:36,634 but this is my gang now. 164 00:06:36,734 --> 00:06:37,601 We're doing things my way. 165 00:06:37,701 --> 00:06:40,403 And if you can't respect that, you're welcome to leave. 166 00:06:40,503 --> 00:06:43,304 No, okay, I get it. You're in charge. 167 00:06:43,404 --> 00:06:45,799 I am zipping my lips and throwing away the key. 168 00:06:45,899 --> 00:06:48,337 Okay. And I'm shooting the key. 169 00:06:48,437 --> 00:06:50,931 And I'm burying it in an unmarked grave. 170 00:06:51,668 --> 00:06:53,832 Hey folks! Look what I found outside, 171 00:06:53,932 --> 00:06:54,932 snooping around. 172 00:06:54,998 --> 00:06:56,535 Dingus, what are you doing here? 173 00:06:56,635 --> 00:06:58,337 I was following you, you big jerk. 174 00:06:58,437 --> 00:06:59,644 I didn't realize you were leading me 175 00:06:59,668 --> 00:07:00,799 into a bandits' lair. 176 00:07:00,899 --> 00:07:02,700 Sorry, are you two friends or something? 177 00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:04,700 Us? 178 00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:06,568 No, we're mortal enemies. 179 00:07:06,668 --> 00:07:07,677 Yeah, we understand each other, 180 00:07:07,701 --> 00:07:09,700 but we also very much want to kill each other. 181 00:07:09,800 --> 00:07:12,337 Speaking of which, gang? 182 00:07:12,437 --> 00:07:13,667 It's execution time. 183 00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:14,767 All right! 184 00:07:14,833 --> 00:07:16,469 What did we just talk about? 185 00:07:16,569 --> 00:07:17,832 I forgot. You're in charge. 186 00:07:17,932 --> 00:07:18,799 You say it. 187 00:07:18,899 --> 00:07:21,964 Gang, it... it's execution time. 188 00:07:22,064 --> 00:07:24,800 - Yeah. - Okay. Here we go. 189 00:07:24,932 --> 00:07:27,601 What? That was good, pumpkin. 190 00:07:29,503 --> 00:07:30,337 I thought it was good. 191 00:07:30,437 --> 00:07:32,370 Really, this is just incredible. 192 00:07:32,470 --> 00:07:33,545 We cannot thank you enough. 193 00:07:33,569 --> 00:07:34,578 Oh, it's truly our pleasure. 194 00:07:34,602 --> 00:07:36,776 And I hope you don't mind me saying, but I love your dress. 195 00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:40,304 Oh, thank you. It's the color of the heavens. 196 00:07:40,404 --> 00:07:43,568 It's almost time for my hourly prayers, 197 00:07:43,668 --> 00:07:45,634 but, I'll see you later? 198 00:07:45,734 --> 00:07:46,799 You certainly will. 199 00:07:51,767 --> 00:07:53,337 Man, these Noonans are freaks, huh? 200 00:07:53,437 --> 00:07:55,931 One of them literally keeps trying to comb my hair. 201 00:07:56,031 --> 00:07:57,743 Actually, I think they're really good people. 202 00:07:57,767 --> 00:07:59,799 And you'll be happy to know I took your advice 203 00:07:59,899 --> 00:08:02,701 and I'm going on a date with one of them later. 204 00:08:03,668 --> 00:08:05,733 Wow! Wait, that's great. 205 00:08:05,833 --> 00:08:07,667 I'm so glad you found somebody, 206 00:08:07,767 --> 00:08:08,634 so... quickly. 207 00:08:08,734 --> 00:08:09,908 What are the odds, right? Yeah. 208 00:08:09,932 --> 00:08:12,601 Well, I should go and change into my date collar. 209 00:08:12,701 --> 00:08:14,832 See you later, Pru. Thank you again. 210 00:08:14,932 --> 00:08:17,031 Don't mention it. 211 00:08:18,470 --> 00:08:20,865 Bleagh! I said get away from me! 212 00:08:20,965 --> 00:08:22,668 God bless! 213 00:08:26,668 --> 00:08:27,743 I've never met anyone who likes 214 00:08:27,767 --> 00:08:29,865 the Book of Obadiah as much as I do! 215 00:08:29,965 --> 00:08:31,304 I am a huge Obadiah nerd. 216 00:08:31,404 --> 00:08:33,040 The fall of Edom gets me every time. 217 00:08:33,064 --> 00:08:36,403 Tut tut! Remember to leave three feet for God. 218 00:08:36,503 --> 00:08:38,502 Our Lord has very wide hips. 219 00:08:38,602 --> 00:08:40,865 Hey, guys. 220 00:08:40,965 --> 00:08:42,733 I wanted to meet Zeke's mystery lady 221 00:08:42,833 --> 00:08:43,974 I've been hearing so much about. 222 00:08:43,998 --> 00:08:45,479 Yeah! Uh, Phaedra, this is my friend Prudence. 223 00:08:45,503 --> 00:08:48,766 Oh, well, best friend. More than that, really. 224 00:08:48,866 --> 00:08:52,436 Uh, so, Phaedra, what's your deal, girl? 225 00:08:52,536 --> 00:08:53,403 - Uh, my deal? - Yeah, you know. 226 00:08:53,503 --> 00:08:55,535 Like, uh, what do you like to do for fun? 227 00:08:55,635 --> 00:08:58,634 Oh, um... I don't have fun. 228 00:08:58,734 --> 00:09:00,799 I mostly just stare at the wall 229 00:09:00,899 --> 00:09:02,370 and dwell on the nature of guilt. 230 00:09:02,470 --> 00:09:05,634 Yeesh. Real live wire over here. 231 00:09:05,734 --> 00:09:07,667 You dwell on guilt? Me, too. 232 00:09:07,767 --> 00:09:09,370 It is one of my favorite forms of shame. 233 00:09:09,470 --> 00:09:12,733 Really? How do you feel about self-denial? 234 00:09:12,833 --> 00:09:13,634 I love it. It's like, 235 00:09:13,734 --> 00:09:15,667 how much stuff do you actually need, self? 236 00:09:15,767 --> 00:09:16,767 Right? So little! 237 00:09:16,866 --> 00:09:17,898 Goals. 238 00:09:17,998 --> 00:09:19,413 Seems like you two have a lot to talk about, 239 00:09:19,437 --> 00:09:20,644 so I'm just gonna... I'm gonna go. 240 00:09:20,668 --> 00:09:21,677 - Nice to meet you. - Okay, quick. 241 00:09:21,701 --> 00:09:24,766 What is your favorite way of cleansing sin? 242 00:09:24,866 --> 00:09:26,469 One, two, three. 243 00:09:26,569 --> 00:09:28,370 Mortification of the flesh! 244 00:09:28,470 --> 00:09:31,064 Tut tut tut! 245 00:09:31,734 --> 00:09:32,634 - Thank you. - Mm-hmm. 246 00:09:32,734 --> 00:09:36,403 Oh, your fingers are like magic, Josiah. 247 00:09:36,503 --> 00:09:37,743 Oh, Prudence. How great are these Noonans? 248 00:09:37,767 --> 00:09:40,700 They'll do anything you ask if you say that you're in need, 249 00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:42,898 which as you know, I am. Hey! 250 00:09:42,998 --> 00:09:45,370 Careful with the nails, Jethro. 251 00:09:45,470 --> 00:09:47,833 I'm so poor. 252 00:09:48,536 --> 00:09:49,936 What does Zeke like about that girl? 253 00:09:49,965 --> 00:09:50,766 A bowl of oatmeal in a wig 254 00:09:50,866 --> 00:09:52,306 would have more personality than her. 255 00:09:52,338 --> 00:09:54,469 Well, I mean, the Reverend's a pretty boring guy, too, 256 00:09:54,569 --> 00:09:56,734 so it seems like the perfect match. 257 00:09:57,404 --> 00:09:59,436 Whatever. It's just one date. 258 00:09:59,536 --> 00:10:01,016 It's not like they're getting married. 259 00:10:01,800 --> 00:10:04,700 Glorious news, brothers and sisters. 260 00:10:04,800 --> 00:10:05,568 Ezekiel and Phaedra 261 00:10:05,668 --> 00:10:08,238 found their first date satisfactory. 262 00:10:08,338 --> 00:10:10,436 So the wedding will commence this afternoon. 263 00:10:10,536 --> 00:10:11,238 - What? - Noonans! 264 00:10:11,338 --> 00:10:14,535 Let's show them how we say congratulations. 265 00:10:14,635 --> 00:10:16,602 Congratulations. 266 00:10:16,767 --> 00:10:19,832 Don't stop. 267 00:10:19,932 --> 00:10:21,634 Any last words? 268 00:10:21,734 --> 00:10:23,832 Eh... 269 00:10:23,932 --> 00:10:24,799 Maybe. 270 00:10:24,899 --> 00:10:25,941 You know what? No, I'm good. 271 00:10:25,965 --> 00:10:27,799 Then tell the devil... 272 00:10:27,899 --> 00:10:29,766 Trig says hi. 273 00:10:29,866 --> 00:10:31,667 Yeah, okay. 274 00:10:31,767 --> 00:10:34,370 Yes, Dad, is there a problem? 275 00:10:34,470 --> 00:10:36,667 What? No. You're doing great. 276 00:10:36,767 --> 00:10:37,403 Okay, then. 277 00:10:37,503 --> 00:10:40,370 Tell the devil Trig says hi. 278 00:10:40,470 --> 00:10:41,370 Oh, God. Excuse me. 279 00:10:41,470 --> 00:10:42,908 Okay, clearly you have something to say, 280 00:10:42,932 --> 00:10:44,799 so why don't you just say it? 281 00:10:44,899 --> 00:10:45,667 Okay, it's just... 282 00:10:45,767 --> 00:10:48,502 can we do something better than shooting him? 283 00:10:48,602 --> 00:10:49,469 Anybody can shoot a guy. 284 00:10:49,569 --> 00:10:51,502 I mean, where's the showmanship? 285 00:10:51,602 --> 00:10:53,535 What about tying him to the train tracks, 286 00:10:53,635 --> 00:10:55,337 or throw him off a cliff? Something. 287 00:10:55,437 --> 00:10:57,502 This is the way I like to kill people. 288 00:10:57,602 --> 00:10:58,733 It is clean. It is efficient. 289 00:10:58,833 --> 00:11:01,271 "I'm Trig, the efficiency machine. 290 00:11:01,371 --> 00:11:03,634 What is the square root of killing a guy?" 291 00:11:03,734 --> 00:11:05,568 Okay, I don't sound like that. 292 00:11:05,668 --> 00:11:06,535 You know what might be fun? 293 00:11:06,635 --> 00:11:08,469 Take a big rock and just drop it on him. 294 00:11:08,569 --> 00:11:10,568 That's fun. What if we tie his limbs 295 00:11:10,668 --> 00:11:11,788 to horses and rip him apart? 296 00:11:11,866 --> 00:11:13,634 What if we do something bad to his penis? 297 00:11:13,734 --> 00:11:14,875 Actually, could you just shoot me? 298 00:11:14,899 --> 00:11:16,339 We could make him sit on some knives. 299 00:11:16,404 --> 00:11:18,512 He'd bleed from his butt. Now we're cooking. What else? 300 00:11:18,536 --> 00:11:19,842 Feed him to the alligators. In the desert? 301 00:11:19,866 --> 00:11:21,446 You ain't got alligators out here? 302 00:11:21,470 --> 00:11:22,910 Cut off his legs and call him Shorty. 303 00:11:22,965 --> 00:11:25,337 Or we can just let him go. 304 00:11:25,437 --> 00:11:26,437 Who said that? 305 00:11:31,470 --> 00:11:33,205 Hey, Zeke, can I talk to you for a sec? 306 00:11:33,305 --> 00:11:35,601 I'm sorry. Is this stripper puttingonclothes? 307 00:11:35,701 --> 00:11:37,502 Yes, the Noonans are throwing me 308 00:11:37,602 --> 00:11:38,663 a traditional Noonan bachelor party 309 00:11:38,673 --> 00:11:40,766 and technically she's a dresser, not a stripper. 310 00:11:40,866 --> 00:11:44,370 Put it on, baby! Oopsies. 311 00:11:49,064 --> 00:11:51,931 Zeke, are you sure about this whole marriage thing? 312 00:11:52,031 --> 00:11:54,403 I know it seems quick, but Phaedra and I 313 00:11:54,503 --> 00:11:55,403 have so much in common. 314 00:11:55,503 --> 00:11:56,611 It's like I'm marrying my sister! 315 00:11:56,635 --> 00:11:59,568 Uh, yeah, that's not usually the goal. 316 00:11:59,668 --> 00:12:00,776 Don't you want to be with someone 317 00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:01,667 you have chemistry with? 318 00:12:01,767 --> 00:12:02,776 Okay, I'm sorry. I'm confused. 319 00:12:02,800 --> 00:12:04,446 You were the one telling me I should move on. 320 00:12:04,470 --> 00:12:06,766 Now I've done that and you're being really weird about it. 321 00:12:06,866 --> 00:12:09,535 I'm just looking out for you, as a friend. 322 00:12:09,635 --> 00:12:11,370 Okay, well, thanks, Pru, 323 00:12:11,470 --> 00:12:12,809 but Phaedra's the right person for me. 324 00:12:12,833 --> 00:12:14,832 Ezekiel! Get over here! 325 00:12:14,932 --> 00:12:16,965 Ooh! Gotta make it rain! 326 00:12:18,602 --> 00:12:20,536 Alms for the poor? 327 00:12:21,338 --> 00:12:24,667 Yeah! God bless you. 328 00:12:24,767 --> 00:12:26,766 Now this is an execution... 329 00:12:26,866 --> 00:12:28,238 death by fire ants. 330 00:12:28,338 --> 00:12:30,766 Uch. I really hate you for this one, Benny. 331 00:12:30,866 --> 00:12:32,700 I still don't see how this is any better 332 00:12:32,800 --> 00:12:33,568 than just shooting him. 333 00:12:33,668 --> 00:12:34,766 What? This is way cooler. 334 00:12:34,866 --> 00:12:35,667 Back me up here, Dingus. 335 00:12:35,767 --> 00:12:37,634 Yeah, I hate to say it, but this is cooler. 336 00:12:37,734 --> 00:12:43,205 Now to apply the honey, and let the ant buffet begin. 337 00:12:43,305 --> 00:12:43,564 Aah! 338 00:12:43,574 --> 00:12:45,568 Oh, oh, oh, here. Why don't you do the honors? 339 00:12:45,668 --> 00:12:46,568 Oh, no. Why don't you do it? 340 00:12:46,668 --> 00:12:48,469 I mean, clearly you're running the gang now. 341 00:12:48,569 --> 00:12:50,634 Don't be like that. You're still in charge. 342 00:12:50,734 --> 00:12:51,743 - You can do it. - No, you do it. 343 00:12:51,767 --> 00:12:53,040 Maybe we should just pick it up tomorrow. 344 00:12:53,064 --> 00:12:54,611 - Just do it! - No, I don't want to do it. 345 00:12:54,635 --> 00:12:57,766 - Don't be a baby and do it! - I said, I don't want to! 346 00:12:57,866 --> 00:12:58,866 - God! - Yeesh. 347 00:12:58,965 --> 00:13:01,337 You want to know the real reason I shot you in the back? 348 00:13:01,437 --> 00:13:04,634 It's because everything always has to be about you. 349 00:13:04,734 --> 00:13:08,337 I was always second fiddle to the great Benny the Teen! 350 00:13:08,437 --> 00:13:10,964 And you're so egotistical, you can't stand the idea 351 00:13:11,064 --> 00:13:14,766 that I might be better at leading the gang than you! 352 00:13:14,866 --> 00:13:15,502 And now, I'm crying 353 00:13:15,602 --> 00:13:17,413 in front of the prisoner, so that's just great. 354 00:13:17,437 --> 00:13:20,799 Oh, no, don't mind me. I'm just looking at the dirt. 355 00:13:20,899 --> 00:13:22,535 You all suck. 356 00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:24,799 Trig! What... 357 00:13:24,899 --> 00:13:27,535 Drama! 358 00:13:27,635 --> 00:13:28,635 Am I right, guys? 359 00:13:28,734 --> 00:13:30,865 Welcome to Brother Ezekiel 360 00:13:30,965 --> 00:13:33,469 and Sister Phaedra's rehearsal lunch. 361 00:13:33,569 --> 00:13:35,337 Let me tell you, my girl Phaedra 362 00:13:35,437 --> 00:13:36,799 can get a little crazy. 363 00:13:36,899 --> 00:13:38,403 Oh, no! Here it comes. 364 00:13:38,503 --> 00:13:40,634 Like when she organized a church crawl, 365 00:13:40,734 --> 00:13:44,469 and prayed at 15 chapels in one night. 366 00:13:44,569 --> 00:13:46,766 I got so... rewarded. 367 00:13:46,866 --> 00:13:47,535 This is insane. 368 00:13:47,635 --> 00:13:49,799 It's like he's a completely different person with her. 369 00:13:49,899 --> 00:13:50,974 Sorry, dear, did you say something? 370 00:13:50,998 --> 00:13:53,734 I can't hear you with the fan in my ear. 371 00:13:53,899 --> 00:13:56,403 Well, don't stop. I'm a hot little baby. 372 00:13:56,503 --> 00:13:59,799 You are going to be the meekest bride ever. 373 00:13:59,899 --> 00:14:01,601 I love you like a sister wife. 374 00:14:01,701 --> 00:14:02,898 Aw! 375 00:14:04,503 --> 00:14:07,568 Hey, everybody. Zeke's bestie here. 376 00:14:07,668 --> 00:14:09,766 Sorry to interrupt the swell time 377 00:14:09,866 --> 00:14:12,370 we're allnothaving. 378 00:14:14,899 --> 00:14:16,865 Whoo. Tough crowd. 379 00:14:16,965 --> 00:14:18,205 She's bombing. 380 00:14:18,305 --> 00:14:20,370 So, I know Phaedra thinks she's marrying 381 00:14:20,470 --> 00:14:22,931 this upright man of God, 382 00:14:23,031 --> 00:14:25,865 but I actually know a different Zeke. 383 00:14:26,767 --> 00:14:28,479 Where are... where are you going with this, Pru? 384 00:14:28,503 --> 00:14:30,898 For example, everyone sees Zeke 385 00:14:30,998 --> 00:14:33,271 as this very proper guy, and he is, 386 00:14:33,371 --> 00:14:36,733 except for when he eats too many beans on the trail 387 00:14:36,833 --> 00:14:39,337 and becomes Colonel Fartington. 388 00:14:39,437 --> 00:14:40,710 I don't know what she's talking about. 389 00:14:40,734 --> 00:14:42,469 Oh, come on! Yes, you do. 390 00:14:42,569 --> 00:14:43,611 I do declare, 391 00:14:43,635 --> 00:14:45,535 I've made a stinky in my pantaloons! 392 00:14:45,635 --> 00:14:47,535 I don't do the accent! 393 00:14:47,635 --> 00:14:48,766 Who's Colonel Fartington? 394 00:14:48,866 --> 00:14:51,799 Zeke likes to say, "Early to bed, early to rise," 395 00:14:51,899 --> 00:14:54,337 but I've seen this night owl 396 00:14:54,437 --> 00:14:55,469 stay up until past 9:00. 397 00:14:55,569 --> 00:14:56,469 That's not too bad. 398 00:14:56,569 --> 00:14:57,059 - Thirty! - What?! 399 00:14:57,069 --> 00:14:59,568 What are you doing? And I've saved the dirtiest 400 00:14:59,668 --> 00:15:00,799 little secret for last. 401 00:15:00,899 --> 00:15:01,700 Pru, please, don't. 402 00:15:01,800 --> 00:15:05,535 Because my man Zeke is a full-blown, 403 00:15:05,635 --> 00:15:06,535 raging... 404 00:15:06,635 --> 00:15:09,568 chocoholic! 405 00:15:09,668 --> 00:15:10,469 What the? 406 00:15:10,569 --> 00:15:11,743 I had a small thing for malt balls, 407 00:15:11,767 --> 00:15:12,809 but I am good now, I swear. 408 00:15:12,833 --> 00:15:15,403 I didn't even know who you are anymore! No! 409 00:15:15,503 --> 00:15:18,238 Phaedra! I've been clean for months! 410 00:15:18,338 --> 00:15:20,766 What was that?! You just ruined my marriage! 411 00:15:20,866 --> 00:15:23,370 That girl was a dud. I'm doing you a favor. 412 00:15:23,470 --> 00:15:24,611 How is that a favor? You reject me, 413 00:15:24,635 --> 00:15:26,733 and then you take away my only other chance at love? 414 00:15:26,833 --> 00:15:27,908 I'm just trying to be your friend. 415 00:15:27,932 --> 00:15:29,568 Well, how about this? Next time you want 416 00:15:29,668 --> 00:15:31,800 to be my friend, just don't. 417 00:15:37,470 --> 00:15:40,436 You are a good bandit. 418 00:15:40,536 --> 00:15:43,865 You've stolen lots of money. 419 00:15:43,965 --> 00:15:46,064 Knock, knock. 420 00:15:46,800 --> 00:15:47,502 What do you want? 421 00:15:47,602 --> 00:15:48,795 I've been thinking about what you said earlier, 422 00:15:48,805 --> 00:15:52,469 and, uh, I really do want us to have a good relationship. 423 00:15:52,569 --> 00:15:55,899 And I think I finally see where you're coming from. 424 00:15:59,602 --> 00:16:02,305 And? 425 00:16:02,701 --> 00:16:05,733 You're upset because I... 426 00:16:05,833 --> 00:16:07,502 well, I'm good at leading the gang, 427 00:16:07,602 --> 00:16:09,601 and well, you kinda suck at it. 428 00:16:09,701 --> 00:16:11,832 See, I'm a natural-born alpha 429 00:16:11,932 --> 00:16:14,271 with competence and charisma to spare, 430 00:16:14,371 --> 00:16:16,865 and you're more of a beta follower type. 431 00:16:16,965 --> 00:16:19,337 I know it must be so hard living in the shadow 432 00:16:19,437 --> 00:16:23,205 of someone who's better than you in every single way, 433 00:16:23,305 --> 00:16:25,898 but sweetie, the sooner that you can accept it, 434 00:16:25,998 --> 00:16:27,634 then the sooner we can get back 435 00:16:27,734 --> 00:16:30,899 to having a good relationship. 436 00:16:31,866 --> 00:16:35,668 Wow, that felt so good to get off my chest. 437 00:16:35,965 --> 00:16:37,568 Hear this, Benny. 438 00:16:37,668 --> 00:16:42,403 You and I will never have a relationship. 439 00:16:42,503 --> 00:16:46,865 As far as I'm concerned, you're dead to me. 440 00:16:46,965 --> 00:16:49,898 Do you understand that? 441 00:16:49,998 --> 00:16:51,899 Dead! 442 00:16:52,965 --> 00:16:55,733 Well, that didn't go as well as I expected. 443 00:16:55,833 --> 00:16:56,842 All right, look, it's getting late. 444 00:16:56,866 --> 00:16:59,965 I should probably, uh... 445 00:17:00,635 --> 00:17:02,931 Oh, uh... want this back over there? 446 00:17:03,031 --> 00:17:05,568 - Or should I leave it here? - Get out! 447 00:17:05,668 --> 00:17:07,569 I'll just leave it here. 448 00:17:09,866 --> 00:17:12,404 Not in the back, okay? 449 00:17:17,965 --> 00:17:18,568 Hey, Zeke. 450 00:17:18,668 --> 00:17:20,388 We're gathered here today to witness... 451 00:17:20,470 --> 00:17:20,993 What's going on? 452 00:17:21,003 --> 00:17:22,931 I thought the wedding was off. 453 00:17:23,031 --> 00:17:23,535 Oh, it is. 454 00:17:23,635 --> 00:17:26,601 Phaedra took some time to get over the breakup, 455 00:17:26,701 --> 00:17:30,799 but eventually she moved on and found somebody new. 456 00:17:30,899 --> 00:17:33,700 - Wow. These people move fast. - Mm. 457 00:17:33,800 --> 00:17:34,667 It's okay, though. 458 00:17:34,767 --> 00:17:37,502 Maybe I'm just not meant to be with anyone. 459 00:17:37,602 --> 00:17:40,998 I know you were just looking out for my happiness. 460 00:17:42,635 --> 00:17:43,644 If anyone has a reason 461 00:17:43,668 --> 00:17:45,205 why these two should not be wed, 462 00:17:45,305 --> 00:17:49,338 please speak now, or forever hold your peace. 463 00:17:50,965 --> 00:17:53,305 I do. 464 00:17:53,602 --> 00:17:57,898 Phaedra, you need to give Zeke another chance. 465 00:17:57,998 --> 00:18:01,733 I know I said some vaguely damning things about him, 466 00:18:01,833 --> 00:18:04,799 but he is an incredible guy. 467 00:18:04,899 --> 00:18:08,635 He's kind and thoughtful and caring. 468 00:18:11,899 --> 00:18:13,469 Truth is... 469 00:18:13,569 --> 00:18:15,700 any woman would be crazy not to be with him 470 00:18:15,800 --> 00:18:17,635 if she had the chance. 471 00:18:18,734 --> 00:18:19,898 Josiah, I'm sorry. 472 00:18:19,998 --> 00:18:21,898 My heart belongs to another. 473 00:18:21,998 --> 00:18:23,502 Makes sense. 474 00:18:23,602 --> 00:18:25,800 Ezekiel, get up here. 475 00:18:26,602 --> 00:18:28,767 - Thank you, Pru. - Yeah. 476 00:18:30,767 --> 00:18:31,634 If you can move out, thanks. 477 00:18:31,734 --> 00:18:33,469 Well, Sister Phaedra, 478 00:18:33,569 --> 00:18:34,436 do you take Brother Ezekiel 479 00:18:34,536 --> 00:18:35,896 to be your lawfully wedded husband? 480 00:18:35,965 --> 00:18:37,931 - I do. - And do you, Ezekiel, 481 00:18:38,031 --> 00:18:41,800 take Sister Phaedra to be your lawfully wedded wife? 482 00:18:43,503 --> 00:18:44,931 - I do. - I now pronounce you 483 00:18:45,031 --> 00:18:48,569 man and wife. You may kiss the bride. 484 00:18:49,767 --> 00:18:50,469 Tut, tut, tut! 485 00:18:50,569 --> 00:18:51,865 Leave three inches for God. 486 00:18:51,965 --> 00:18:54,899 He likes a good triple kiss. 487 00:19:02,833 --> 00:19:04,469 Thanks, Pru. 488 00:19:17,701 --> 00:19:18,898 What's going on here? 489 00:19:18,998 --> 00:19:21,832 Uh, we ran into an extremist religious sect, 490 00:19:21,932 --> 00:19:23,832 and Zeke married one of them. 491 00:19:23,932 --> 00:19:25,469 Oh. That's cool. 492 00:19:25,569 --> 00:19:26,667 How'd it go with Trig? 493 00:19:26,767 --> 00:19:28,766 Not great. She basically wrote me out 494 00:19:28,866 --> 00:19:32,403 of her life forever, so... yeah. 495 00:19:32,503 --> 00:19:33,700 Yeah. 496 00:19:33,800 --> 00:19:35,370 Wanna get totally shitfaced? 497 00:19:35,470 --> 00:19:36,700 I thought you'd never ask. 498 00:19:38,536 --> 00:19:41,403 Ahh... mmm... 499 00:19:41,503 --> 00:19:43,436 Well, Noonans, it is time for us 500 00:19:43,536 --> 00:19:45,766 to continue on our journey. 501 00:19:45,866 --> 00:19:46,866 What's happening? 502 00:19:46,932 --> 00:19:48,634 No. Wait, wait, wait. No, no, no. 503 00:19:48,734 --> 00:19:49,964 No, no, Jedidiah, no, no, no. 504 00:19:50,064 --> 00:19:51,809 You can't leave, okay? I've become accustomed 505 00:19:51,833 --> 00:19:53,634 to the Noonans servicing my every whim. 506 00:19:53,734 --> 00:19:54,776 Mr. Aberdeen, you don't need our help. 507 00:19:54,800 --> 00:19:57,403 You look like you're back on your feet again. No, I'm not, though! 508 00:19:57,503 --> 00:19:59,502 I still need help. I'm a very sick person, 509 00:19:59,602 --> 00:20:00,733 both physically and morally. 510 00:20:00,833 --> 00:20:02,304 I'm unkind towards children! 511 00:20:02,404 --> 00:20:04,436 Well, that's not something we can help you with. 512 00:20:04,536 --> 00:20:06,799 I have impure thoughts about my mother. 513 00:20:06,899 --> 00:20:07,964 There, I said it. 514 00:20:08,064 --> 00:20:09,634 I think she's hot and I want her bad. 515 00:20:09,734 --> 00:20:12,370 No one's asking you to say these things. 516 00:20:12,470 --> 00:20:13,238 Please just leave us alone. 517 00:20:13,338 --> 00:20:15,502 I kissed a dog because I was lonely, once. 518 00:20:15,602 --> 00:20:16,865 Okay, fine! It was a bunch, 519 00:20:16,965 --> 00:20:19,403 and it was nice. Okay, we're leaving. 520 00:20:19,503 --> 00:20:20,783 The dog and I had a long-lasting 521 00:20:20,866 --> 00:20:22,733 and meaningful relationship! 522 00:20:22,833 --> 00:20:25,799 Does that do anything for you? 523 00:20:25,899 --> 00:20:27,568 Please don't go! 524 00:20:27,668 --> 00:20:31,932 Noonans! 525 00:20:31,956 --> 00:20:33,956 >>>>oakislandtk<<<<< www.opensubtitles.org 37539

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