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00:03:20,520 --> 00:03:23,126
I come tonight to warn
you that you will be
2
00:03:23,200 --> 00:03:25,806
visited by three spirits.
3
00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:27,041
What?
4
00:03:28,280 --> 00:03:32,365
Was that the chance and hope
that you mentioned, Jacob?
5
00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:33,766
It was.
6
00:03:33,840 --> 00:03:38,209
And you have yet the chance
and hope of escaping my fate.
7
00:03:38,320 --> 00:03:41,722
A chance and hope
of my procuring, Ebenezer.
8
00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:43,802
Thank you, Jacob.
9
00:03:43,880 --> 00:03:49,091
Expect the first
when the bell tolls 1:00.
10
00:03:49,160 --> 00:03:50,160
Shut up, Beth!
11
00:03:50,200 --> 00:03:52,965
I don't care who
started it, Max.
12
00:03:53,040 --> 00:03:55,407
Ben Kuklinski started it
and everybody knows it.
13
00:03:55,480 --> 00:03:56,845
You even have
the whole thing on video.
14
00:03:56,920 --> 00:03:58,081
And you're gonna
write an apology
15
00:03:58,160 --> 00:04:00,481
to the rest of your class
for ruining the recital.
16
00:04:00,560 --> 00:04:01,561
What were you
thinking, Max?
17
00:04:01,640 --> 00:04:03,244
That kid was
twice your size.
18
00:04:03,320 --> 00:04:06,051
Yeah, but Ben Kuklinski
is always ragging on Christmas.
19
00:04:06,160 --> 00:04:07,207
He even told
the first graders
20
00:04:07,280 --> 00:04:08,930
that Santa was just
a cheap marketing ploy
21
00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:10,240
invented to sell Pepsi.
22
00:04:10,320 --> 00:04:11,970
Coke.
You know what I mean.
23
00:04:12,040 --> 00:04:13,610
But not why you care.
24
00:04:13,680 --> 00:04:15,091
Well, someone's got to.
25
00:04:15,160 --> 00:04:18,164
Here, let me see.
Ow, ow, ow, ow.
26
00:04:18,240 --> 00:04:20,083
Eh, it's not so bad.
Just keep icing it.
27
00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:22,686
And was dropkicking
him into the manger
28
00:04:22,760 --> 00:04:24,603
really the best way
to handle this?
29
00:04:24,680 --> 00:04:27,126
Okay, that was not my fault.
I was under the influence.
30
00:04:27,760 --> 00:04:30,127
All I had to eat was Christmas
fudge and candy canes.
31
00:04:30,440 --> 00:04:31,646
Well, I hate
to sound harsh,
32
00:04:31,720 --> 00:04:33,529
but every kid has to
learn the truth someday.
33
00:04:34,720 --> 00:04:36,404
Oh, I know. I just...
34
00:04:37,120 --> 00:04:38,406
I didn't want it ruined.
35
00:04:39,200 --> 00:04:40,929
For the little kids.
36
00:04:41,200 --> 00:04:43,441
But is this
a war on Christmas,
37
00:04:43,520 --> 00:04:45,090
a war on
over-political correctness...
38
00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:46,207
Looks great, Mom.
39
00:04:46,280 --> 00:04:48,680
or a bunch of people who are
just way too easily offended?
40
00:04:48,800 --> 00:04:49,847
Don't work too hard,
though. Sarah bought
41
00:04:49,880 --> 00:04:51,882
a bunch of cookies at the store.
42
00:04:51,960 --> 00:04:53,644
It's Roger.
43
00:04:53,720 --> 00:04:55,370
Thought you said you weren't
working over Christmas?
44
00:04:55,480 --> 00:04:56,891
I said no traveling
over Christmas.
45
00:04:56,960 --> 00:04:58,928
I still have to
take a few calls.
46
00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:00,365
Hey, Roger, what's up?
47
00:05:00,440 --> 00:05:02,283
Wait, guys, aren't we still gonna
watch Charlie Brown
48
00:05:02,400 --> 00:05:04,402
and wrap Christmas
presents like always?
49
00:05:04,480 --> 00:05:06,847
You know what? After what you pulled,
you can do that alone.
50
00:05:06,920 --> 00:05:08,968
And quick. Your cousins get
here any minute.
51
00:05:09,040 --> 00:05:10,246
Yeah, Roger.
52
00:05:10,320 --> 00:05:12,368
It's a Christmas
cluster-eff over here.
53
00:05:12,440 --> 00:05:14,283
Beth, help me hang this.
54
00:05:16,720 --> 00:05:19,007
Wait, Mom, aren't we gonna
watch Charlie Brown?
55
00:05:32,160 --> 00:05:33,321
I started,
56
00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:36,051
but I don't know what
to ask for this year.
57
00:05:36,440 --> 00:05:38,727
Because they are family, Beth.
58
00:05:38,800 --> 00:05:40,165
And it's only
for a few days.
59
00:05:40,240 --> 00:05:42,880
Well, I'm not sharing my
room with girls who pee standing up.
60
00:05:46,920 --> 00:05:49,002
Last year I found
shit in my bed, Mom.
61
00:05:49,160 --> 00:05:50,241
Human shit.
62
00:05:50,320 --> 00:05:52,129
For the last time,
that was their dog!
63
00:05:52,200 --> 00:05:54,202
"They're why some people shouldn't
be allowed to breed!"
64
00:05:54,280 --> 00:05:56,601
Your words,
Mom, not mine!
65
00:05:56,680 --> 00:05:58,648
I never said that!
66
00:05:59,280 --> 00:06:01,760
I said maybe they
should have to take a test
67
00:06:01,880 --> 00:06:03,120
before they're
allowed to breed.
68
00:06:27,320 --> 00:06:28,321
Thanks, Omi.
69
00:06:31,480 --> 00:06:33,084
Omi?
Hmm?
70
00:06:34,240 --> 00:06:36,242
Do you still
really believe in Santa?
71
00:06:46,760 --> 00:06:48,728
What do you mean?
72
00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:21,201
Yeah.
73
00:07:21,320 --> 00:07:23,402
My cousins are crawling out of
the shallow end of the gene pool,
74
00:07:23,520 --> 00:07:25,522
so everyone's
a little on edge.
75
00:07:25,600 --> 00:07:27,250
Your mom popping Xanax again?
76
00:07:27,320 --> 00:07:29,129
Like candy.
77
00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:33,205
Tonight we're making a Japanese snowflake
tree or some crap.
78
00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:35,491
Takes a lot of work
to make our family
79
00:07:35,600 --> 00:07:37,364
look more awesome than it
actually is, you know?
80
00:07:37,440 --> 00:07:38,680
I like snowflakes,
81
00:07:38,760 --> 00:07:41,161
but I like my plan
a lot better.
82
00:07:41,480 --> 00:07:46,361
Very enticing,
but I think I'm stuck here.
83
00:07:46,440 --> 00:07:47,521
Come on,
84
00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:50,570
people have escaped from Alcatraz before,
and I'm only four blocks away.
85
00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:55,288
What? What's wrong?
86
00:07:55,680 --> 00:07:57,444
Everything.
87
00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:08,368
Oh, crap. Oh, crap.
88
00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:15,003
Will you two knock it off?
89
00:08:15,080 --> 00:08:16,491
Howie, stop
ringing the doorbell!
90
00:08:16,600 --> 00:08:18,125
- Well, carry something!
- Howie, cut it out!
91
00:08:18,200 --> 00:08:19,960
- Help me with the bags.
- Dad, you carry it.
92
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:23,766
It's Christmas. It's Christmas.
It's Christmas.
93
00:08:24,160 --> 00:08:25,571
Merry Christmas!
94
00:08:25,640 --> 00:08:27,688
Hey, sis. Merry Christmas.
95
00:08:27,760 --> 00:08:30,001
Oh, gosh, I'm so glad
you guys could make it.
96
00:08:30,080 --> 00:08:31,366
You have no idea.
97
00:08:31,440 --> 00:08:32,805
Accidents all
over the freeways,
98
00:08:32,920 --> 00:08:33,921
and nothing but
crazy talk radio
99
00:08:34,000 --> 00:08:35,161
for six hours.
Mmm.
100
00:08:35,280 --> 00:08:37,044
Hey. We brought you a little taste
of home, though, didn't we?
101
00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:39,011
Oh, wow.
102
00:08:39,120 --> 00:08:40,451
Thank you. It looks...
103
00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:41,601
Wow.
104
00:08:41,720 --> 00:08:43,290
- You're welcome.
- Come on, Linda, move it, move it.
105
00:08:43,360 --> 00:08:45,124
We don't have to keep
the traffic jam going now.
106
00:08:45,200 --> 00:08:46,440
Howard, let me help you.
107
00:08:49,200 --> 00:08:50,406
- It's all right, Tom.
- Thanks, Tommy.
108
00:08:50,480 --> 00:08:51,481
Sorry about that.
109
00:08:51,560 --> 00:08:53,324
What, you give the butler
the night off, did you?
110
00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:54,680
Tom,
don't worry about it.
111
00:08:54,760 --> 00:08:56,728
Yeah,
we uh, brought Rosie.
112
00:08:56,800 --> 00:08:58,165
You don't have
a cat, do you?
113
00:08:58,360 --> 00:08:59,771
It's fine.
It's fine, right?
114
00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:00,887
It's fine.
115
00:09:00,960 --> 00:09:02,644
Merry Christmas, girls.
Come on in.
116
00:09:02,760 --> 00:09:05,604
Don't you look cute in
your matching jackets.
117
00:09:05,680 --> 00:09:06,806
They're just
a little cranky
118
00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:08,609
because the
Steelers lost, so...
119
00:09:08,680 --> 00:09:09,681
Uh, Jordan, Stevie,
120
00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:11,040
why don't you
tell your Aunt Sarah
121
00:09:11,120 --> 00:09:13,726
about your Presidential
Fitness Award, huh?
122
00:09:14,960 --> 00:09:17,201
It's a good story.
123
00:09:17,720 --> 00:09:18,846
Hey, Howie.
124
00:09:20,480 --> 00:09:23,450
So, what did you ask
Santa for this year?
125
00:09:23,520 --> 00:09:25,600
- Really nice.
- They did look pretty good.
126
00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:27,244
It looks
bigger in here.
127
00:09:27,320 --> 00:09:28,526
Toy car?
128
00:09:28,600 --> 00:09:30,489
Look what Max has got in his pocket.
129
00:09:30,560 --> 00:09:32,050
A letter to Santa.
130
00:09:33,360 --> 00:09:34,646
Video games?
131
00:09:36,840 --> 00:09:37,841
Phone?
132
00:09:39,360 --> 00:09:40,850
Dialysis?
133
00:09:43,160 --> 00:09:45,527
- That long fucking drive.
- Thank you, guys.
134
00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:47,450
Where do you
want this stuff, Tom?
135
00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:49,090
- Just anywhere?
- Yeah.
136
00:09:49,160 --> 00:09:52,448
Christ on a stick,
would it kill you to shovel your walk?
137
00:09:52,520 --> 00:09:54,443
I could've broken
a hip out there.
138
00:09:54,520 --> 00:09:56,409
Surprise!
139
00:09:56,480 --> 00:09:57,891
Please don't be mad.
140
00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:03,289
Oh, Aunt Dorothy,
it's so great to see you.
141
00:10:03,360 --> 00:10:06,045
Yeah, well, your
sister's no Mother Teresa,
142
00:10:06,200 --> 00:10:08,646
but at least she swings by
143
00:10:08,720 --> 00:10:10,800
every once in a while to
make sure that I'm not dead.
144
00:10:11,880 --> 00:10:13,530
So, where's the nog?
145
00:10:13,600 --> 00:10:15,409
I need to get merry.
146
00:10:15,520 --> 00:10:16,760
Uh, It's in the kitchen.
147
00:10:16,840 --> 00:10:18,001
Help yourself.
148
00:10:18,080 --> 00:10:20,162
Oh, Tom, let me
take that. I'm sorry.
149
00:10:20,240 --> 00:10:21,287
That's okay.
150
00:10:21,360 --> 00:10:22,805
Lord Almighty.
151
00:10:22,880 --> 00:10:25,360
Looks like Martha Stewart
threw up in here.
152
00:10:25,520 --> 00:10:27,648
- We left the door open. Sorry about that.
- No. No, no, no.
153
00:10:27,720 --> 00:10:29,882
We're such a mess, honestly.
154
00:10:29,960 --> 00:10:32,531
Six hours, I mean, come on.
Uh...
155
00:10:32,600 --> 00:10:34,887
Sorry, wasn't
there another...
156
00:10:35,520 --> 00:10:36,521
Mmm?
157
00:10:37,160 --> 00:10:38,366
Child?
158
00:10:38,760 --> 00:10:40,250
Chrissy! Darn it!
159
00:10:40,400 --> 00:10:41,920
Jordan, I told you
to bring her inside!
160
00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:43,401
Not my kid.
161
00:10:43,480 --> 00:10:44,527
Come on, girls.
162
00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:45,806
Tommy, help me
get the baby
163
00:10:45,880 --> 00:10:47,211
and the rest of the girl
crap out of the truck.
164
00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:48,441
Do you mind?
Thank you.
165
00:10:48,520 --> 00:10:49,601
All right.
166
00:10:49,680 --> 00:10:52,001
Let's make
some memories, huh?
167
00:10:52,120 --> 00:10:55,044
Thank you, honey.
Thank you. Oh, my goodness.
168
00:10:55,120 --> 00:10:57,248
A holiday roast
is a surprise.
169
00:10:57,320 --> 00:10:58,731
Hemorrhoids are a surprise.
170
00:10:58,800 --> 00:11:01,565
She is a goddamn nightmare.
What were you thinking?
171
00:11:01,720 --> 00:11:03,848
Come on, she's not that bad.
Oh.
172
00:11:03,920 --> 00:11:05,081
She's not!
173
00:11:05,160 --> 00:11:06,844
Besides, she
tricked me, okay?
174
00:11:06,920 --> 00:11:08,490
I thought we were
just dropping off gifts,
175
00:11:08,560 --> 00:11:10,160
and she came to the door
with a suitcase.
176
00:11:10,240 --> 00:11:12,811
What was I supposed to do?
Tell her she has to spend Christmas by herself?
177
00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:14,848
No, but at least you
could have warned me
178
00:11:14,920 --> 00:11:17,571
when one of your mistakes
is gonna become my problem.
179
00:11:17,640 --> 00:11:19,529
You think everything I do
is a mistake.
180
00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:23,050
Sorry.
Look out. Look out.
181
00:11:23,160 --> 00:11:24,321
Hey, honey.
Ooh. Oh.
182
00:11:24,400 --> 00:11:26,004
I think this
warhead's armed.
183
00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:27,849
Wow, you're so stinky.
184
00:11:27,920 --> 00:11:29,729
Okay, I'm gonna
go change her.
185
00:11:29,800 --> 00:11:30,801
Let's go this way.
186
00:11:30,880 --> 00:11:33,201
Just set that up wherever
you want, T.
187
00:11:34,040 --> 00:11:36,361
The whole truck
smells like shit.
188
00:11:37,960 --> 00:11:39,405
So, what's for dinner?
189
00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:55,564
That's my boy!
190
00:11:55,640 --> 00:11:56,971
That's my boy!
191
00:11:57,440 --> 00:11:59,090
It sure is.
192
00:11:59,160 --> 00:12:01,128
I'm getting Howie Junior
into game shape.
193
00:12:01,240 --> 00:12:02,651
By the time he gets
to high school,
194
00:12:02,720 --> 00:12:05,724
he's gonna be the biggest
lineman in the state.
195
00:12:06,120 --> 00:12:09,283
Did you ever spend any time
on the field, Tommy?
196
00:12:09,360 --> 00:12:11,647
No, actually,
I didn't have time in my younger years.
197
00:12:11,720 --> 00:12:13,131
I was in training mostly.
198
00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:14,800
What were you
training for? Uh...
199
00:12:15,120 --> 00:12:16,884
Army? Marines?
200
00:12:18,440 --> 00:12:19,726
It was the Eagle Scouts.
201
00:12:20,200 --> 00:12:21,486
Eagle Scouts.
202
00:12:22,080 --> 00:12:24,048
Now, Eagle Scouts, kids,
203
00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:25,924
that's where you weave baskets
204
00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:27,445
and help little old ladies
across the street.
205
00:12:27,640 --> 00:12:29,244
Am I right?
No, no.
206
00:12:29,600 --> 00:12:33,525
No, no, no. It was actually
quite a bit of survival training.
207
00:12:34,480 --> 00:12:35,481
So...
208
00:12:35,560 --> 00:12:38,530
Well, the only survival training
I need is my ol' smoke pole,
209
00:12:39,040 --> 00:12:40,769
and a big, fat
box of buckshot
210
00:12:40,840 --> 00:12:42,569
that I keep out
in that truck.
211
00:12:42,800 --> 00:12:45,531
A shepherd has got
to protect his flock.
212
00:12:45,960 --> 00:12:49,282
Honey, we said no gun talk
at the dinner table.
213
00:12:49,640 --> 00:12:51,244
This family needs
a little gun talk,
214
00:12:51,320 --> 00:12:53,402
whether it's at the dinner table,
or anywhere else.
215
00:12:53,480 --> 00:12:54,800
- Wow.
- You know what I'm saying?
216
00:12:54,840 --> 00:12:57,000
Looks like Chrissy's
really enjoying my gravlax.
217
00:12:58,840 --> 00:12:59,841
Careful, kids.
218
00:12:59,920 --> 00:13:01,280
Remember that
your Aunt Sarah likes
219
00:13:01,320 --> 00:13:02,526
everything to be
clean and perfect,
220
00:13:02,600 --> 00:13:05,206
and that's why she makes so
much food that you can't pronounce.
221
00:13:05,880 --> 00:13:07,644
Well, I just thought
you guys might like a break
222
00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:09,609
from macaroni and cheese
with hot dogs.
223
00:13:09,680 --> 00:13:10,761
Yeah, okay.
224
00:13:11,120 --> 00:13:12,565
Well, you were wrong.
225
00:13:12,640 --> 00:13:15,041
And who doesn't make
a ham at Christmas?
226
00:13:15,160 --> 00:13:17,049
What are you now, a Jew?
227
00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:23,043
Maybe it's time
for dessert, hmm?
228
00:13:23,840 --> 00:13:25,365
It's delicious, honey.
229
00:13:25,440 --> 00:13:26,680
It's a little dry.
230
00:13:26,760 --> 00:13:28,728
Okay. Well, mine's delicious.
231
00:13:31,560 --> 00:13:33,240
Well, I guess
I should've gotten your bird.
232
00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:34,520
You can just say
something nice.
233
00:13:34,560 --> 00:13:36,767
I'll say it
when she gets back, if dessert's good.
234
00:13:36,840 --> 00:13:38,365
Well, if you could
just do me a favor.
235
00:13:38,440 --> 00:13:41,284
- Tell him about Santa.
- Just say something nice about dessert.
236
00:13:41,360 --> 00:13:43,283
Hey, Maxi-Pad.
237
00:13:43,400 --> 00:13:45,004
Hear what happened to Santa?
238
00:13:45,120 --> 00:13:47,600
No, Stevie.
What happened to Santa?
239
00:13:47,800 --> 00:13:49,290
Heard it on the news.
240
00:13:49,360 --> 00:13:51,362
His sleigh
crashed in the Rockies.
241
00:13:51,440 --> 00:13:53,727
Shattered both his legs.
242
00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:56,565
Frostbite took care of his pain,
but not his hunger.
243
00:13:56,760 --> 00:14:00,242
So, to survive,
he had to slaughter and eat his reindeer.
244
00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:04,211
Including Rudolph.
245
00:14:05,280 --> 00:14:09,285
"Ate" tiny reindeer.
Get it?
246
00:14:09,760 --> 00:14:11,330
Knock it off!
247
00:14:11,400 --> 00:14:13,004
Don't start anything.
248
00:14:13,120 --> 00:14:14,565
Hey, guys, take it easy.
249
00:14:15,080 --> 00:14:17,367
They're
just playing, Tommy.
250
00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:24,645
Macaroni and cheese
and hot dogs.
251
00:14:24,720 --> 00:14:26,848
Oh, Jesus.
252
00:14:26,920 --> 00:14:30,766
So, what kind of godforsaken
concoction are you whipping up now?
253
00:14:30,840 --> 00:14:34,447
You know how this fancy
food clogs my pipes.
254
00:14:34,600 --> 00:14:35,886
Well, how about we
go to your trailer
255
00:14:35,960 --> 00:14:37,291
for Christmas
next year, hmm?
256
00:14:37,920 --> 00:14:41,242
And after you've spent weeks
decorating and cooking and cleaning,
257
00:14:41,320 --> 00:14:43,084
I might just waddle in and start
bitching and moaning
258
00:14:43,160 --> 00:14:44,800
about everything
you've worked so hard on.
259
00:14:44,880 --> 00:14:46,166
Oh, Sarah, you know...
260
00:14:46,280 --> 00:14:47,964
No, Aunt Dorothy, please.
261
00:14:48,040 --> 00:14:49,451
For your sake,
262
00:14:50,800 --> 00:14:52,564
just stay the hell
out of my kitchen.
263
00:14:55,800 --> 00:14:56,881
You know, reindeer
are actually
264
00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:58,889
a sustainable
food source
265
00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:01,970
in the Northern Territories
and Alaska. Canada.
266
00:15:02,040 --> 00:15:03,690
This time of year
267
00:15:03,840 --> 00:15:08,846
we refer to reindeer as a transportation
system for Santa Claus.
268
00:15:10,040 --> 00:15:12,930
We know you still believe
in the big, fat creeper.
269
00:15:13,240 --> 00:15:15,004
I don't know what
you're talking about.
270
00:15:15,720 --> 00:15:16,926
You sure about that?
271
00:15:18,760 --> 00:15:20,125
Max, stop.
272
00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:23,411
"Dear Santa,
273
00:15:24,160 --> 00:15:27,687
"I know I haven't been great this year,
and I'm sorry for that,
274
00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:29,489
"but I was really
hoping you could help out
275
00:15:29,560 --> 00:15:31,688
"me and my family
this Christmas.
276
00:15:31,760 --> 00:15:33,171
"We need you."
277
00:15:33,240 --> 00:15:34,605
Oh, Maxi-Pad,
that's so sweet.
278
00:15:34,680 --> 00:15:35,727
Give it back!
279
00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:37,450
Stop, Max.
280
00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:39,761
Blah, blah,
blah, bullshit, bullshit.
281
00:15:39,840 --> 00:15:41,808
Ah. Here we go,
Maxi's wish list.
282
00:15:41,880 --> 00:15:43,041
Stevie, stop.
That's enough.
283
00:15:43,120 --> 00:15:44,804
Wait, you're up first, Beth.
284
00:15:44,920 --> 00:15:48,481
"I wish me and Beth could
hang out like we used to.
285
00:15:48,560 --> 00:15:51,484
"You might have noticed that
I don't have tons of friends."
286
00:15:51,560 --> 00:15:53,847
Oh, no, really, Max?
287
00:15:54,280 --> 00:15:57,807
"I wish my mom and dad
could fall in love again.
288
00:15:58,680 --> 00:16:00,170
"I know they get
upset a lot,
289
00:16:00,240 --> 00:16:02,049
"with Dad away
from home so much.
290
00:16:02,760 --> 00:16:05,120
"I think they really just miss each other.
291
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:09,882
"Also, I wish things
weren't so hard
292
00:16:09,960 --> 00:16:12,566
"for Uncle Howard
and Aunt Linda.
293
00:16:15,360 --> 00:16:19,081
"So, maybe you can lend them
a hand the rest of the year, too.
294
00:16:21,760 --> 00:16:23,000
"And...
295
00:16:23,760 --> 00:16:24,807
"And that..."
296
00:16:24,920 --> 00:16:27,924
Screw you! Dad does
not wish we were boys!
297
00:16:28,160 --> 00:16:30,811
Okay. Who wants
crème brûlée?
298
00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:37,124
Give me the letter! Give me it back!
299
00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:38,200
Hey, Max.
300
00:16:38,240 --> 00:16:40,447
Hey.
301
00:16:40,560 --> 00:16:41,800
- Hey!
- Girls!
302
00:16:45,520 --> 00:16:46,521
Hey! Hey!
303
00:16:47,360 --> 00:16:49,010
Come on, Howard.
Stevie, Jordan.
304
00:16:49,080 --> 00:16:50,080
Come on.
305
00:16:50,120 --> 00:16:51,645
All right,
all right, that's enough.
306
00:16:51,720 --> 00:16:52,960
Are you okay? Honey?
307
00:16:55,400 --> 00:16:57,920
I just wanted Christmas
to be like it used to be, but forget it.
308
00:16:57,960 --> 00:16:59,086
I hate Christmas!
309
00:16:59,160 --> 00:17:00,605
I hate all of you!
310
00:17:00,680 --> 00:17:03,126
Max. Max!
311
00:17:03,880 --> 00:17:05,370
Oh, lay off of him.
312
00:17:05,440 --> 00:17:07,966
Kid deserves a prize
just for telling the truth.
313
00:17:18,440 --> 00:17:20,283
- Can I come in?
- No.
314
00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:25,126
You know,
they're leaving right after Christmas,
315
00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:28,966
so we only have to survive
another three days.
316
00:17:29,040 --> 00:17:30,280
I don't get it.
317
00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:32,044
Every year it gets worse.
318
00:17:32,120 --> 00:17:35,966
Why do we have to put up with
their crap just because we share DNA?
319
00:17:37,520 --> 00:17:41,241
Because that's what
a family is, Max.
320
00:17:41,320 --> 00:17:43,243
People you try to
be friends with,
321
00:17:43,320 --> 00:17:45,687
even though you don't have
a whole lot in common.
322
00:17:46,560 --> 00:17:48,449
But why?
Because...
323
00:17:48,800 --> 00:17:50,211
Well...
324
00:17:51,760 --> 00:17:54,161
Okay, you kind of
got me there.
325
00:17:55,960 --> 00:17:58,281
Or maybe it makes us
work a little harder
326
00:17:58,360 --> 00:18:00,840
to find what we do have
in common, you know?
327
00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:04,602
Put everything aside,
think of other people for a change.
328
00:18:04,680 --> 00:18:07,331
Friends, family,
329
00:18:07,440 --> 00:18:09,681
even the assholes
you normally can't stand.
330
00:18:09,800 --> 00:18:11,131
Like Uncle Howard?
331
00:18:11,200 --> 00:18:12,850
Didn't wanna name names.
332
00:18:15,120 --> 00:18:17,851
Dad, do you really
believe in all that?
333
00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:21,002
I want to, Max.
334
00:18:23,840 --> 00:18:26,889
But, hey,
bet there's still time
335
00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:29,526
to drop that letter
in the mailbox, huh?
336
00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:28,086
Don't you find it
the least bit strange?
337
00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:29,764
I mean, they can see
dust specks on Mars,
338
00:20:29,840 --> 00:20:32,684
but no one noticed a giant
blizzard hurtling towards us.
339
00:20:32,760 --> 00:20:34,569
Well, as soon
as the power's back,
340
00:20:34,640 --> 00:20:36,085
you can write
an angry e-mail
341
00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:37,605
to the National
Weather Service.
342
00:20:37,680 --> 00:20:39,967
But in the meantime,
let's just try and stay calm.
343
00:20:40,040 --> 00:20:41,565
Mom, there's
something weird outside.
344
00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:42,766
I am calm.
345
00:20:42,840 --> 00:20:43,966
I would just be
calmer if I knew
346
00:20:44,040 --> 00:20:45,087
how we were gonna
survive Christmas
347
00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:46,446
with 12 people
stuck in a house
348
00:20:46,520 --> 00:20:49,763
with no hot water,
no heat, and no electricity.
349
00:20:49,840 --> 00:20:50,921
Or food.
350
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:53,571
Well, there's plenty
of leftovers, Howard.
351
00:20:54,480 --> 00:20:55,845
Beer it is.
352
00:20:55,920 --> 00:20:57,251
Phone's dead, too.
353
00:20:57,440 --> 00:20:58,680
Mom!
What, Max?
354
00:20:58,760 --> 00:21:00,842
There's a snowman
in our yard.
355
00:21:02,840 --> 00:21:04,285
See?
356
00:21:06,520 --> 00:21:09,251
That's... That's great, Max.
357
00:21:09,320 --> 00:21:10,606
But who built it?
358
00:21:10,680 --> 00:21:11,761
You can barely see
across the street,
359
00:21:11,840 --> 00:21:15,208
but it doesn't look
like it's just us.
360
00:21:15,280 --> 00:21:16,930
I can walk over,
check with the Turners.
361
00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:18,650
The Turners
are in Hawaii.
362
00:21:18,720 --> 00:21:20,131
The Lamberts
are in Florida,
363
00:21:20,200 --> 00:21:21,486
and the Cartwrights
stopped talking to us
364
00:21:21,560 --> 00:21:23,801
after Max's
noodle incident.
365
00:21:23,880 --> 00:21:25,120
After his what?
366
00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:26,964
Max, please go and get Omi
out of the fireplace
367
00:21:27,040 --> 00:21:29,042
before she burns
the whole house down.
368
00:21:31,720 --> 00:21:33,131
I'll get it!
369
00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:34,964
Fine.
370
00:21:35,040 --> 00:21:36,724
Seriously,
what are we gonna do?
371
00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:39,041
Merry Christmas.
Whoa!
372
00:21:39,120 --> 00:21:41,487
Sign here.
Yeah.
373
00:21:41,560 --> 00:21:42,561
Wow.
374
00:21:43,080 --> 00:21:45,686
Honey, stuff to carry.
375
00:21:45,760 --> 00:21:46,966
Some weather, huh?
376
00:21:47,040 --> 00:21:48,929
Yeah, it's a ghost town
out there.
377
00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:50,161
Roads are a nightmare.
378
00:21:50,240 --> 00:21:51,287
Yeah, no kidding.
379
00:21:51,720 --> 00:21:53,404
Hey, these, too?
380
00:21:53,520 --> 00:21:54,521
Uh, not mine.
381
00:21:54,800 --> 00:21:57,041
- Uh, must be from the boys in brown.
- All right.
382
00:21:57,120 --> 00:21:59,168
Merry Christmas.
Yeah, you, too.
383
00:21:59,640 --> 00:22:00,766
What is it?
384
00:22:00,880 --> 00:22:02,245
Hey, look at this, huh?
385
00:22:02,320 --> 00:22:03,560
What?
386
00:22:03,640 --> 00:22:05,130
They got more stuff.
387
00:22:05,240 --> 00:22:07,163
Man, how come rich people
get all the free shit?
388
00:22:07,240 --> 00:22:09,288
I don't know, honey.
Democrats, probably.
389
00:22:12,720 --> 00:22:14,290
Oh, my God!
390
00:22:14,560 --> 00:22:16,767
- Argh!
- Who needs this much cheese?
391
00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:19,521
It's one
singular moment.
392
00:22:19,600 --> 00:22:21,284
You guys, I've texted Derek,
like, nine times,
393
00:22:21,400 --> 00:22:22,970
and he still
hasn't written back.
394
00:22:23,040 --> 00:22:24,530
That is not normal.
395
00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:26,841
It's the blizzard, honey.
Nothing's working right now.
396
00:22:26,920 --> 00:22:28,490
Then can I walk over
and check on him?
397
00:22:28,920 --> 00:22:30,206
It's only a few blocks.
398
00:22:30,280 --> 00:22:32,647
I don't think
that's a good idea.
399
00:22:32,760 --> 00:22:34,649
Well, I could see if anyone else
has power on the way.
400
00:22:34,840 --> 00:22:36,604
She'll be fine.
401
00:22:37,600 --> 00:22:39,523
Okay. One hour.
402
00:22:39,600 --> 00:22:41,170
But when you get back,
I want you to spend
403
00:22:41,240 --> 00:22:42,720
some girl time with
Jordan and Stevie.
404
00:22:42,760 --> 00:22:44,046
Got it?
405
00:22:44,120 --> 00:22:46,202
You call that
a reversal?
406
00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:48,328
Come on, Jordy,
plant your feet!
407
00:22:48,440 --> 00:22:49,441
Plant your feet.
408
00:22:49,520 --> 00:22:50,640
All right. Here we go.
Right.
409
00:22:50,680 --> 00:22:52,603
Again.
You know what I mean.
410
00:22:52,680 --> 00:22:53,681
Thanks.
411
00:22:53,760 --> 00:22:55,205
Be careful, okay?
412
00:22:55,280 --> 00:22:56,406
Okay. Back later.
413
00:22:56,520 --> 00:22:59,046
Love you. One hour.
414
00:22:59,120 --> 00:23:00,451
Okay.
415
00:23:02,960 --> 00:23:05,611
Max, I told you to
get Omi out of the...
416
00:23:17,640 --> 00:23:19,642
She says hot chocolate
makes everything better.
417
00:24:41,240 --> 00:24:42,685
Oh, my God.
418
00:24:49,680 --> 00:24:50,681
Please!
419
00:24:57,240 --> 00:24:59,083
Somebody help me!
420
00:24:59,600 --> 00:25:00,931
Please!
421
00:27:27,760 --> 00:27:28,921
Get anything?
422
00:27:29,880 --> 00:27:31,086
No.
423
00:27:33,120 --> 00:27:34,849
It's the weirdest thing.
There's no cars,
424
00:27:34,920 --> 00:27:37,924
no people,
not even a salt truck.
425
00:27:39,400 --> 00:27:40,606
Don't suppose
you got me
426
00:27:40,720 --> 00:27:43,121
a backup generator
for Christmas, did you?
427
00:27:43,200 --> 00:27:47,046
Yeah, it's under the tree,
next to your ties and underwear.
428
00:27:47,120 --> 00:27:48,406
Good.
429
00:27:53,760 --> 00:27:55,250
It's getting late.
430
00:27:56,040 --> 00:27:57,565
Beth should be home by now.
431
00:27:57,640 --> 00:27:59,881
She's fine.
She's at Derek's.
432
00:27:59,960 --> 00:28:01,530
All the more
reason to worry.
433
00:28:01,840 --> 00:28:04,923
Hey, hon, relax.
Just for once. Okay?
434
00:28:08,600 --> 00:28:11,285
How's everybody else doing?
435
00:28:11,400 --> 00:28:14,882
You know, cranky, bored,
436
00:28:14,960 --> 00:28:16,769
sick of the snow.
437
00:28:16,920 --> 00:28:18,126
And each other.
438
00:28:18,280 --> 00:28:19,361
'Tis the season.
439
00:28:24,520 --> 00:28:26,249
Oh, God, I miss us.
440
00:28:28,680 --> 00:28:30,205
Me, too.
441
00:28:39,600 --> 00:28:40,965
Mom, Dad.
442
00:28:42,520 --> 00:28:44,841
It's already dark out
and Beth isn't back yet.
443
00:28:51,920 --> 00:28:53,001
Hey, Howard.
444
00:28:53,320 --> 00:28:55,243
Do you think your Hummer
could get through this mess?
445
00:28:55,320 --> 00:28:56,890
Lucinda?
446
00:28:56,960 --> 00:28:58,849
I could point her
due east, hit the gas,
447
00:28:58,920 --> 00:29:01,890
and she'd be storming the beaches
at Normandy by sunrise.
448
00:29:01,960 --> 00:29:03,086
What's on your mind, T?
449
00:29:03,160 --> 00:29:04,241
Well, it's Beth.
450
00:29:04,320 --> 00:29:05,765
She went to her
boyfriend's earlier
451
00:29:05,840 --> 00:29:07,080
and she hasn't
come back yet.
452
00:29:07,160 --> 00:29:08,400
See?
453
00:29:08,680 --> 00:29:12,241
Let them out of your sight for one second,
and boom, shotgun wedding.
454
00:29:12,320 --> 00:29:14,527
Aunt Dorothy, please.
455
00:29:14,640 --> 00:29:16,165
Well, you ought to know.
456
00:29:16,320 --> 00:29:17,810
It's probably nothing.
457
00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:20,241
But I thought
we'd go pick her up,
458
00:29:20,360 --> 00:29:21,600
take a quick swing
around town,
459
00:29:21,680 --> 00:29:22,966
see what's
going on out there.
460
00:29:23,040 --> 00:29:24,166
A little recon mission, huh?
461
00:29:24,640 --> 00:29:25,971
Thought you'd never ask.
462
00:29:26,040 --> 00:29:27,246
Okay.
463
00:29:27,360 --> 00:29:28,885
Go to Mama.
Yep.
464
00:29:28,960 --> 00:29:30,086
All righty.
465
00:29:30,160 --> 00:29:32,527
Thomas. Thomas.
466
00:29:34,880 --> 00:29:36,484
What? Why?
467
00:29:36,560 --> 00:29:38,080
What the hell is
she so riled up about?
468
00:29:42,360 --> 00:29:43,691
She says not to go.
469
00:29:44,320 --> 00:29:47,160
That it's too dangerous, and that we
should wait until the storm's over.
470
00:29:47,200 --> 00:29:48,406
Tom.
No, I got this.
471
00:29:48,480 --> 00:29:51,086
Hey, Mom, we have to
go pick up Beth,
472
00:29:51,160 --> 00:29:54,243
but Max and Sarah will take
care of you while I'm gone. Okay?
473
00:29:54,360 --> 00:29:56,328
Mom. Hey, Mom, listen.
474
00:30:00,360 --> 00:30:01,930
Everything's gonna be okay.
475
00:30:24,680 --> 00:30:26,762
Global
warming, my ass.
476
00:30:27,280 --> 00:30:29,760
Must be -20 out here.
477
00:30:29,840 --> 00:30:32,002
This just
doesn't make any sense.
478
00:30:32,120 --> 00:30:34,327
You try AM?
Yeah, I tried everything.
479
00:30:35,240 --> 00:30:37,607
The storm probably knocked out
the radio stations, too.
480
00:30:38,640 --> 00:30:40,130
I guess so.
481
00:30:41,000 --> 00:30:44,482
What I wouldn't give for a little
Bing Crosby right about now.
482
00:30:51,280 --> 00:30:52,805
Wait, wait, wait. Slow down.
483
00:30:52,880 --> 00:30:54,450
What is that?
484
00:31:04,960 --> 00:31:06,200
Is that a snowplow?
485
00:31:16,640 --> 00:31:17,846
Hello?
486
00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:43,331
Christ.
487
00:31:43,720 --> 00:31:46,485
Poor bastard must have
sailed clear through.
488
00:31:47,280 --> 00:31:49,726
Looks more like
the opposite.
489
00:31:49,800 --> 00:31:51,245
What do you mean?
490
00:31:51,320 --> 00:31:53,322
The glass is
punched in.
491
00:32:07,640 --> 00:32:09,608
We gotta find Beth.
492
00:32:12,680 --> 00:32:16,162
You packed guns
on Christmas.
493
00:32:16,240 --> 00:32:18,607
Always be prepared,
Boy Scout.
494
00:32:19,920 --> 00:32:21,160
It's kind of heavy.
495
00:32:21,240 --> 00:32:22,401
Yeah.
496
00:32:23,520 --> 00:32:25,170
It's Linda's.
497
00:32:37,040 --> 00:32:38,280
Oh, my gosh.
498
00:32:39,640 --> 00:32:42,166
You had Mom's angel
this whole time?
499
00:32:42,240 --> 00:32:44,163
Yeah,
I thought you knew.
500
00:32:44,240 --> 00:32:45,730
No.
501
00:32:47,840 --> 00:32:48,841
Oh.
502
00:32:49,560 --> 00:32:51,847
Remember how we used to fight
over who got to place her?
503
00:32:51,920 --> 00:32:53,763
Yeah, and you fought dirty.
504
00:32:53,880 --> 00:32:56,201
I think I still have the scars.
505
00:32:56,280 --> 00:32:58,408
Where do you think
my girls get it from?
506
00:33:03,560 --> 00:33:06,450
Wow. You saved everything.
507
00:33:07,480 --> 00:33:08,481
Yeah.
508
00:33:09,320 --> 00:33:11,766
I figured that's what
Mom would have done, you know.
509
00:33:24,000 --> 00:33:25,240
Mom?
510
00:33:28,520 --> 00:33:30,090
Probably just squirrels.
511
00:33:30,600 --> 00:33:32,489
In this weather?
512
00:34:01,360 --> 00:34:02,646
See?
513
00:34:03,440 --> 00:34:04,805
- Squirrels.
- Right.
514
00:34:05,640 --> 00:34:07,802
Probably playing
with their nuts.
515
00:34:25,320 --> 00:34:26,526
Beth?
516
00:34:33,920 --> 00:34:35,365
Derek!
517
00:34:38,360 --> 00:34:39,361
Beth!
518
00:34:39,680 --> 00:34:42,047
Quiet, Tommy.
I don't like this.
519
00:35:05,040 --> 00:35:08,681
Whoever did this
is a demented son of a bitch.
520
00:35:17,920 --> 00:35:20,526
Don't worry.
We'll find her, buddy.
521
00:35:31,200 --> 00:35:32,565
Looks like a gas line blew.
522
00:35:43,480 --> 00:35:44,766
What's that?
523
00:35:49,720 --> 00:35:51,722
I've hunted
a lot of game in my day.
524
00:35:52,240 --> 00:35:53,810
Those are hooves.
525
00:35:53,920 --> 00:35:55,251
Big ones, too.
526
00:35:55,920 --> 00:35:58,082
Could be an elk or a goat.
527
00:35:58,160 --> 00:36:01,448
What kind of goat
walks on its hind legs?
528
00:36:07,280 --> 00:36:08,281
Beth!
529
00:36:10,280 --> 00:36:11,884
- Beth!
- Help me!
530
00:36:13,760 --> 00:36:15,410
Beth!
531
00:36:15,520 --> 00:36:16,806
Help!
532
00:36:19,320 --> 00:36:20,651
Beth!
533
00:36:22,840 --> 00:36:24,330
Beth!
534
00:36:25,760 --> 00:36:26,761
Beth!
535
00:36:26,840 --> 00:36:28,205
Tommy!
536
00:36:28,680 --> 00:36:29,920
Wait up!
537
00:36:40,440 --> 00:36:41,441
Howard!
538
00:36:47,800 --> 00:36:49,086
Oh, my God!
539
00:36:49,160 --> 00:36:50,764
Hold on, Howard!
540
00:36:50,840 --> 00:36:52,729
Help! Oh, God!
541
00:36:55,960 --> 00:36:57,007
Tommy!
542
00:36:59,360 --> 00:37:00,361
Something's biting me!
543
00:37:01,800 --> 00:37:03,290
Don't let go!
544
00:37:09,560 --> 00:37:10,721
Tommy?
545
00:37:22,080 --> 00:37:23,206
Let's go!
546
00:37:23,280 --> 00:37:24,645
What was that thing?
547
00:37:24,760 --> 00:37:27,331
I don't know,
but we have to move!
548
00:37:34,880 --> 00:37:37,087
Oh, my God.
Oh!
549
00:37:40,000 --> 00:37:41,764
Lucinda!
550
00:37:44,920 --> 00:37:47,207
Where do you
think you're going?
551
00:37:47,280 --> 00:37:48,691
To find them.
I don't like this.
552
00:37:48,800 --> 00:37:49,926
What are you talking about?
553
00:37:50,000 --> 00:37:51,923
Tom and Howard know
what they're doing. They're fine.
554
00:37:52,040 --> 00:37:54,202
- Are they?
- Mom?
555
00:37:54,480 --> 00:37:56,289
Honey, I'll be
right back. I promise.
556
00:37:56,360 --> 00:37:57,361
Just lock the door.
557
00:37:58,680 --> 00:38:01,411
Max, get the first aid kit!
Sarah, lock the door.
558
00:38:01,520 --> 00:38:03,640
Girls! Make some room for your dad!
Oh, my God!
559
00:38:03,680 --> 00:38:05,250
Get the door, shut the door!
560
00:38:05,320 --> 00:38:06,321
Where's Beth?
561
00:38:06,400 --> 00:38:07,401
We heard gunshots!
562
00:38:07,480 --> 00:38:08,811
I'll explain everything,
563
00:38:08,880 --> 00:38:11,451
but right now everybody just needs
to stay calm and stay inside!
564
00:38:11,520 --> 00:38:12,965
Get away
from the windows!
565
00:38:13,040 --> 00:38:15,964
Swords, guns, knives, pots, pans,
get whatever you can...
566
00:38:16,040 --> 00:38:17,485
Howard!
What?
567
00:38:17,880 --> 00:38:19,484
Not here.
568
00:38:21,040 --> 00:38:22,121
Jiminy Christmas.
569
00:38:22,200 --> 00:38:24,202
What happened out there?
570
00:38:24,360 --> 00:38:25,361
Nothing.
571
00:38:25,560 --> 00:38:26,766
It's just a scratch.
572
00:38:27,760 --> 00:38:29,091
Oh, my God. it looks
like something bit you!
573
00:38:29,200 --> 00:38:30,486
Nope.
574
00:38:30,560 --> 00:38:32,847
Probably a bear trap
under the snow or something.
575
00:38:32,920 --> 00:38:34,285
We don't have bears here.
576
00:38:37,480 --> 00:38:39,244
Okay. Um...
577
00:38:39,400 --> 00:38:40,811
Kids, why don't you
go into the kitchen
578
00:38:40,920 --> 00:38:42,490
and get something
to eat now, okay?
579
00:38:42,560 --> 00:38:44,369
You just don't wanna tell us
what's really going on here!
580
00:38:44,440 --> 00:38:46,841
Everybody, in the kitchen right now, Max!
Okay? Right now.
581
00:38:46,920 --> 00:38:48,960
Come on, let's go.
Girls. Come on. It's okay.
582
00:38:50,000 --> 00:38:51,843
Aunt Dorothy, will you
keep an eye on them?
583
00:38:51,920 --> 00:38:53,001
Why me?
584
00:38:53,080 --> 00:38:55,560
I never liked kids,
even when I was one.
585
00:38:57,880 --> 00:38:58,927
Please.
586
00:38:59,600 --> 00:39:01,921
Oh, all right. All right!
587
00:39:03,400 --> 00:39:04,765
Come on, guys,
I'm gonna teach you
588
00:39:04,840 --> 00:39:06,968
how to make
peppermint schnapps.
589
00:39:09,960 --> 00:39:11,803
Mom.
590
00:39:12,280 --> 00:39:16,126
Mom. Will you please go into
the kitchen and help with the kids?
591
00:39:25,280 --> 00:39:27,123
Come here, baby.
592
00:39:29,520 --> 00:39:33,366
See?
A little sugar and a little spice
593
00:39:35,840 --> 00:39:38,491
makes everything nice.
594
00:39:41,080 --> 00:39:42,081
Mmm.
595
00:39:46,360 --> 00:39:51,127
All right.
But don't you rat me out.
596
00:39:53,320 --> 00:39:56,403
But who
or what did all this?
597
00:39:57,360 --> 00:39:59,283
Your guess
is as good as mine.
598
00:40:00,840 --> 00:40:03,160
First I thought it was a gang thing,
599
00:40:04,120 --> 00:40:06,600
but between this and all the
crazy stuff we saw out there,
600
00:40:06,680 --> 00:40:08,205
it just doesn't add up.
601
00:40:08,400 --> 00:40:10,243
It could be
terrorists, right?
602
00:40:10,320 --> 00:40:11,446
Yeah, terrorists.
603
00:40:11,520 --> 00:40:14,091
Maybe traded their suicide vests
for rabid snow dogs?
604
00:40:14,160 --> 00:40:15,810
Tommy!
605
00:40:15,880 --> 00:40:17,325
Tom, God!
Sorry. Sorry.
606
00:40:17,880 --> 00:40:19,450
Um...
607
00:40:20,840 --> 00:40:21,921
And Beth?
608
00:40:22,000 --> 00:40:24,844
Okay. She wasn't at Derek's,
but that doesn't mean anything.
609
00:40:24,920 --> 00:40:26,081
She may have
found somewhere safe.
610
00:40:26,160 --> 00:40:27,241
So, she's still out there.
611
00:40:27,360 --> 00:40:29,169
Yes. And we will
find her, I promise.
612
00:40:29,280 --> 00:40:31,806
But I had to make sure you guys were safe.
I had to get Howard back...
613
00:40:31,880 --> 00:40:33,291
I don't care how
long it takes, Tom.
614
00:40:33,360 --> 00:40:34,486
We have to keep looking.
615
00:40:34,560 --> 00:40:36,369
We have to pair up and take turns...
Yes.
616
00:40:36,440 --> 00:40:38,522
We can't go back out there!
You see this?
617
00:40:38,600 --> 00:40:39,840
It's damn near frostbite.
618
00:40:39,920 --> 00:40:41,001
In under four minutes!
619
00:40:41,080 --> 00:40:42,241
Honey, keep
your voice down.
620
00:40:42,320 --> 00:40:44,129
Besides it being
sub-zero out there,
621
00:40:44,200 --> 00:40:46,407
someone's tearing through your
fancy-ass neighborhood
622
00:40:46,480 --> 00:40:47,481
picking everybody off.
623
00:40:47,560 --> 00:40:48,800
It's the truth!
624
00:40:48,880 --> 00:40:51,042
Honey, sweetheart.
Listen, why don't we just leave?
625
00:40:51,120 --> 00:40:52,770
Right? We can all
pile in the truck
626
00:40:52,840 --> 00:40:53,966
and we'll just see
as far as we can get,
627
00:40:54,040 --> 00:40:56,088
- and we pick up Beth...
- The truck's gone.
628
00:40:56,160 --> 00:40:57,366
Torn to pieces.
629
00:40:57,520 --> 00:40:58,601
- What?
- What?
630
00:40:58,680 --> 00:41:01,524
Yeah. And even if she wasn't,
the streets are totally screwed.
631
00:41:01,600 --> 00:41:04,001
We can't go anywhere.
It's too dangerous. You got it?
632
00:41:04,360 --> 00:41:05,964
Howard, how much ammo
do you have?
633
00:41:07,360 --> 00:41:09,727
A couple shells still loaded,
maybe a dozen in my pocket.
634
00:41:09,800 --> 00:41:11,131
Why?
635
00:41:11,200 --> 00:41:14,329
I think our best bet
is to stay put.
636
00:41:14,400 --> 00:41:16,289
Board up all
the doors and windows.
637
00:41:17,120 --> 00:41:19,361
And as soon as the weather breaks,
we'll go find her.
638
00:41:19,440 --> 00:41:20,965
I told you we should've
gone to my brother's.
639
00:41:21,080 --> 00:41:22,923
Sure, Howard.
Christmas on a pig farm.
640
00:41:23,040 --> 00:41:24,280
Jesus was born in a barn!
641
00:41:24,360 --> 00:41:25,441
Knock it
off, you guys!
642
00:41:25,520 --> 00:41:27,090
What about the kids?
What are we gonna tell them?
643
00:41:27,160 --> 00:41:28,446
I don't know. The truth?
644
00:41:28,520 --> 00:41:30,284
Sure. Which version of it?
645
00:41:31,160 --> 00:41:33,162
Hey, you guys.
Oh, God.
646
00:41:33,240 --> 00:41:34,890
How much
of that did you hear?
647
00:41:35,320 --> 00:41:36,731
Enough.
648
00:41:36,800 --> 00:41:38,882
Mama, did someone
take Beth?
649
00:41:38,960 --> 00:41:40,007
Are they coming for us?
650
00:41:40,080 --> 00:41:42,606
No. No, babies.
No, everything's fine.
651
00:41:42,920 --> 00:41:45,161
Beth's just with her
boyfriend, that's all.
652
00:41:45,960 --> 00:41:48,201
And nothing bad's gonna happen
on Christmas, right?
653
00:41:48,280 --> 00:41:51,011
You know what, let's have a campout, okay?
We'll watch a movie. Yeah?
654
00:41:51,080 --> 00:41:52,366
Let's get cozy
on the couch.
655
00:41:52,440 --> 00:41:53,487
Go get your
sister, Stevie.
656
00:41:53,560 --> 00:41:55,085
Come on, baby. Come on.
657
00:41:55,200 --> 00:41:56,850
We'll find her,
I promise.
658
00:42:02,760 --> 00:42:05,764
"And lo, the angel
of the Lord came upon them.
659
00:42:06,000 --> 00:42:08,606
"And the glory of the Lord
shone round about them.
660
00:42:08,680 --> 00:42:10,603
"And they were so afraid.
661
00:42:10,680 --> 00:42:12,682
"And the angel said unto them,
662
00:42:12,800 --> 00:42:15,451
"'Fear not. For behold,
I bring you tidings of great joy..."'
663
00:42:15,520 --> 00:42:17,966
Won't the battery die?
664
00:42:18,040 --> 00:42:19,804
Gotta die sometime.
665
00:42:19,880 --> 00:42:21,405
Might as well
enjoy it while we can.
666
00:42:25,720 --> 00:42:26,721
Hey.
667
00:42:28,320 --> 00:42:29,765
Beth's a tough girl.
668
00:42:31,160 --> 00:42:33,003
Takes after her mom.
669
00:42:34,080 --> 00:42:35,764
I'm sure she's fine.
670
00:42:36,360 --> 00:42:37,691
Thank you.
671
00:42:46,000 --> 00:42:47,240
Hey, Tommy.
672
00:42:47,840 --> 00:42:48,841
I, uh...
673
00:42:51,480 --> 00:42:53,562
I just wanna say
thanks for, you know,
674
00:42:55,600 --> 00:42:57,489
saving my ass back there.
675
00:42:58,320 --> 00:43:02,769
Oh, well, sure.
No problem.
676
00:43:08,880 --> 00:43:11,531
And I just wanna say
I'm sorry
677
00:43:12,840 --> 00:43:15,160
for thinking you're such a
spineless dick all these years.
678
00:43:18,680 --> 00:43:19,886
Yeah.
679
00:43:24,200 --> 00:43:25,531
You should get
some sleep, pal.
680
00:43:25,680 --> 00:43:27,205
How?
681
00:43:28,240 --> 00:43:29,651
Good point.
682
00:43:33,720 --> 00:43:34,721
Hey, Dad?
683
00:43:36,840 --> 00:43:38,080
Are we gonna die?
684
00:43:38,920 --> 00:43:40,888
Hey. No, no.
685
00:43:42,720 --> 00:43:43,767
No.
686
00:43:45,880 --> 00:43:47,564
Omi's been acting different.
687
00:43:48,920 --> 00:43:50,968
Ever since
the storm.
688
00:43:51,040 --> 00:43:53,327
Yeah, well,
you know,
689
00:43:56,680 --> 00:43:58,648
she always gets a little
weird around Christmas.
690
00:44:00,480 --> 00:44:01,606
How come?
691
00:44:01,880 --> 00:44:04,042
I don't know.
She never wanted to talk about it.
692
00:44:04,920 --> 00:44:06,490
Max. Come on.
693
00:44:06,880 --> 00:44:08,166
Time for bed.
694
00:44:09,480 --> 00:44:11,289
It's gonna be fine.
695
00:44:17,880 --> 00:44:19,086
All right.
696
00:44:33,960 --> 00:44:36,804
You know, Linda and I,
we butt heads,
697
00:44:38,520 --> 00:44:40,682
but I can't imagine
life without her.
698
00:44:43,640 --> 00:44:45,324
Yeah, I know what you mean.
699
00:44:46,640 --> 00:44:49,564
One of us should probably
stay up and keep watch.
700
00:44:50,800 --> 00:44:52,564
That's a good idea.
I'll go first.
701
00:44:52,640 --> 00:44:55,371
No. You go ahead and catch
some winks with your family.
702
00:44:55,440 --> 00:44:57,408
- Are you sure?
- Yeah.
703
00:44:58,800 --> 00:45:00,802
A shepherd has got
to protect his flock.
704
00:45:02,920 --> 00:45:04,763
Night, Howard.
Good night.
705
00:48:14,960 --> 00:48:15,960
Howie!
706
00:48:16,000 --> 00:48:17,650
Dad! Dad!
707
00:48:19,640 --> 00:48:21,483
Hang on, Howie!
708
00:48:22,360 --> 00:48:23,361
Dad!
709
00:48:25,600 --> 00:48:27,648
Sarah!
Hold on, Sarah!
710
00:48:27,720 --> 00:48:30,803
- Mom!
- Call 911!
711
00:48:36,440 --> 00:48:37,965
Howie, hold on!
712
00:48:42,880 --> 00:48:43,881
Hold on!
713
00:48:53,240 --> 00:48:55,811
Max, get the
fire extinguisher!
714
00:48:56,560 --> 00:48:59,040
Help me! Help me! Help me!
715
00:48:59,120 --> 00:49:01,487
Sarah! I got you!
716
00:49:04,080 --> 00:49:05,650
Pull me down!
717
00:49:05,720 --> 00:49:06,881
I got you!
718
00:49:18,000 --> 00:49:19,001
Hey!
719
00:49:19,080 --> 00:49:20,127
No!
720
00:49:20,200 --> 00:49:21,531
Howie!
721
00:49:21,600 --> 00:49:22,601
No, no, no!
722
00:49:22,680 --> 00:49:25,570
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
723
00:49:39,680 --> 00:49:43,207
Honey? Are you okay?
Are you hurt? Hon?
724
00:49:46,320 --> 00:49:48,084
What unholy thing was that?
725
00:49:50,640 --> 00:49:52,404
Howard. Howard.
726
00:49:55,160 --> 00:49:56,286
It's my fault.
No.
727
00:49:56,360 --> 00:49:58,124
I fell asleep.
728
00:49:58,640 --> 00:50:00,881
And they got our boy.
It's all my fault.
729
00:50:11,720 --> 00:50:13,290
Tom, what's she saying?
730
00:50:14,120 --> 00:50:16,327
This is
all of our fault?
731
00:50:16,880 --> 00:50:18,928
He's come
for us all?
732
00:50:19,960 --> 00:50:21,644
He? Who?
733
00:50:21,720 --> 00:50:23,484
Who's he? I don't know.
734
00:50:23,560 --> 00:50:25,244
Mom, what are you
talking about?
735
00:50:25,320 --> 00:50:27,163
Please. Listen.
736
00:50:27,480 --> 00:50:29,721
English. I knew it.
737
00:50:30,640 --> 00:50:32,483
I must tell you something.
738
00:50:33,000 --> 00:50:34,764
To all of you.
739
00:50:37,200 --> 00:50:40,488
It started with the wind.
740
00:50:44,280 --> 00:50:48,126
On a cold winter night,
much like this.
741
00:50:49,720 --> 00:50:52,291
It was almost Christmas.
742
00:50:53,320 --> 00:50:58,201
But this Christmas was darker.
Less cheerful.
743
00:51:01,280 --> 00:51:04,170
But I still
believed in Santa.
744
00:51:05,600 --> 00:51:07,170
In magic,
745
00:51:07,960 --> 00:51:09,962
and miracles.
746
00:51:10,880 --> 00:51:14,851
And the hope that we
could find joy again.
747
00:51:16,680 --> 00:51:18,921
But our village had given up.
748
00:51:19,440 --> 00:51:22,250
On miracles, and on each other.
749
00:51:25,880 --> 00:51:28,531
They had forgotten
the spirit of Christmas.
750
00:51:29,320 --> 00:51:31,891
The sacrifice of giving.
751
00:51:34,240 --> 00:51:37,801
And my family
was no different.
752
00:51:41,480 --> 00:51:45,530
I tried to help them
to believe again,
753
00:51:45,640 --> 00:51:49,611
but we were no longer
the loving family I remembered.
754
00:51:53,160 --> 00:51:55,731
They, too, had given up.
755
00:51:57,280 --> 00:51:59,601
And eventually, so did I.
756
00:52:03,520 --> 00:52:08,287
And for the first time,
I didn't wish for a miracle.
757
00:52:09,680 --> 00:52:12,763
I wished for them
to go away.
758
00:52:14,120 --> 00:52:17,727
A wish I would come to regret.
759
00:52:20,360 --> 00:52:22,283
And that night,
760
00:52:22,360 --> 00:52:25,887
in the darkness of
a howling blizzard,
761
00:52:25,960 --> 00:52:28,531
I got my wish.
762
00:52:32,720 --> 00:52:37,647
I knew Saint Nicholas
was not coming this year.
763
00:52:40,520 --> 00:52:46,801
Instead, it was a much darker,
more ancient spirit.
764
00:52:50,120 --> 00:52:52,885
The shadow of
Saint Nicholas.
765
00:52:53,600 --> 00:52:56,001
It was Krampus.
766
00:52:58,120 --> 00:53:01,408
And as he had for
thousands of years,
767
00:53:02,400 --> 00:53:05,927
Krampus came not to reward,
but to punish.
768
00:53:06,720 --> 00:53:11,009
Not to give, but to take.
769
00:53:12,600 --> 00:53:15,046
He and his helpers.
770
00:53:18,720 --> 00:53:23,726
I could only listen as they dragged
my family into the underworld,
771
00:53:23,800 --> 00:53:27,805
knowing that I would be next.
772
00:53:29,360 --> 00:53:32,807
But Krampus didn't
take me that night.
773
00:53:35,480 --> 00:53:42,443
He left me as a reminder
of what happens when hope is lost,
774
00:53:42,520 --> 00:53:45,808
when belief is forgotten,
775
00:53:45,920 --> 00:53:48,810
and the Christmas spirit dies.
776
00:54:05,320 --> 00:54:07,163
And here I thought
I was the one losing it.
777
00:54:07,240 --> 00:54:09,527
Howard.
What?
778
00:54:09,680 --> 00:54:12,286
You believe this senile horseshit?
I don't know.
779
00:54:12,560 --> 00:54:15,291
Evil Santa?
Jesus H. Almighty.
780
00:54:15,920 --> 00:54:19,003
She'll be yammering about
a rabid Easter Bunny come Spring.
781
00:54:19,080 --> 00:54:20,081
Howard, that's enough.
782
00:54:24,080 --> 00:54:26,242
You damn right
it's enough.
783
00:54:26,320 --> 00:54:27,287
Whoever the hell's
messing with us
784
00:54:27,360 --> 00:54:29,442
took my boy
and your daughter,
785
00:54:29,520 --> 00:54:33,206
and we're sitting around
listening to some twisted bedtime story?
786
00:54:35,840 --> 00:54:37,205
Screw that.
787
00:54:37,280 --> 00:54:38,680
- I'm getting Howie back.
- Howard!
788
00:54:38,720 --> 00:54:40,131
Daddy? Daddy, don't go!
Howard, what are you doing?
789
00:54:40,200 --> 00:54:41,486
- Tommy, don't!
- Stay with us, please!
790
00:54:41,560 --> 00:54:42,920
- Don't, Tommy!
- Daddy, don't!
791
00:54:43,000 --> 00:54:44,001
Whoa!
792
00:54:46,280 --> 00:54:47,805
I'm starting to like you.
793
00:54:48,480 --> 00:54:49,720
I am.
794
00:54:50,400 --> 00:54:52,050
But this is my choice.
795
00:54:52,240 --> 00:54:53,366
Howard, what are you doing?
796
00:54:53,560 --> 00:54:56,484
We've got four
other kids here to protect.
797
00:54:56,560 --> 00:54:57,561
Howard.
798
00:54:57,640 --> 00:54:58,801
Baby, please don't do this.
799
00:54:58,880 --> 00:55:01,770
Listen, we can figure
something else out. Honey.
800
00:55:01,840 --> 00:55:04,446
This is how I
figure things out.
801
00:55:04,520 --> 00:55:05,567
Howard, you don't
wanna do this.
802
00:55:05,760 --> 00:55:06,921
Howard!
803
00:55:14,480 --> 00:55:15,561
Howie!
804
00:55:21,360 --> 00:55:23,931
Howie!
805
00:55:27,400 --> 00:55:28,970
No, shut the door!
806
00:55:29,040 --> 00:55:30,769
Inside! Shut it!
807
00:55:39,880 --> 00:55:41,530
Don't open the door.
808
00:55:43,200 --> 00:55:44,440
Dad?
809
00:55:45,520 --> 00:55:46,806
What are we gonna do now?
810
00:55:47,920 --> 00:55:49,809
We keep the fire hot.
811
00:56:20,640 --> 00:56:23,803
But what if you've
been good, like, all year?
812
00:56:24,800 --> 00:56:26,529
And you leave out
milk and cookies,
813
00:56:26,600 --> 00:56:27,720
and do everything
else right?
814
00:56:39,720 --> 00:56:41,085
It's not what you do.
815
00:56:41,520 --> 00:56:43,648
It's what you believe.
816
00:56:44,040 --> 00:56:45,929
And what you've
given up
817
00:56:46,240 --> 00:56:47,571
in here.
818
00:56:49,120 --> 00:56:51,361
But can't we
make him go away?
819
00:56:57,640 --> 00:56:59,244
What's she saying?
820
00:56:59,320 --> 00:57:00,731
I'm not sure.
821
00:57:00,800 --> 00:57:02,006
She says we're fucked.
822
00:57:03,680 --> 00:57:04,681
Eh.
823
00:57:05,240 --> 00:57:06,446
How did you...
824
00:57:06,520 --> 00:57:08,488
Because I'm old enough
to know when life is coming at you
825
00:57:08,560 --> 00:57:10,085
with his pants down.
826
00:57:29,000 --> 00:57:31,048
Hey.
827
00:57:32,840 --> 00:57:36,731
When they took Howie,
what did you see up there?
828
00:57:39,360 --> 00:57:42,330
You believe
that story, right?
829
00:57:43,680 --> 00:57:44,841
Do you?
830
00:57:45,520 --> 00:57:47,568
I don't know
what I believe anymore.
831
00:57:48,240 --> 00:57:50,766
I know I'm going out there
to find Beth. I have to.
832
00:57:50,880 --> 00:57:52,520
I don't even care if I die trying.
I know.
833
00:57:52,560 --> 00:57:56,167
Listen. Let's get Howard
and Linda. I have an idea.
834
00:58:48,360 --> 00:58:49,600
Linda.
835
00:58:51,600 --> 00:58:53,443
Can we talk with you
and Howard for a minute?
836
00:58:53,600 --> 00:58:55,090
Can it wait?
837
00:58:56,040 --> 00:58:58,441
I just wanna get
these rewrapped for the kids.
838
00:58:59,800 --> 00:59:01,484
It's important.
839
00:59:01,600 --> 00:59:02,726
The snowplow?
840
00:59:02,800 --> 00:59:05,531
The keys were in the
ignition and it was beat to hell.
841
00:59:05,600 --> 00:59:07,807
But if it runs,
I drive it back here,
842
00:59:07,880 --> 00:59:10,042
then everyone
piles in the car
843
00:59:10,120 --> 00:59:13,329
and follows, while I clear
a path in front of us.
844
00:59:13,400 --> 00:59:15,607
And go where?
845
00:59:15,680 --> 00:59:17,887
The mall doubles
as an emergency shelter.
846
00:59:17,960 --> 00:59:20,725
And if it's empty,
we'll try the police station.
847
00:59:20,800 --> 00:59:23,007
And what if
they're gone, too?
848
00:59:23,120 --> 00:59:27,125
Then we keep driving
till we see lights or people,
849
00:59:27,200 --> 00:59:29,487
plowed road,
somewhere safe for the kids.
850
00:59:29,560 --> 00:59:31,289
And then we
bring help back here.
851
00:59:31,640 --> 00:59:33,369
For Beth and Howie.
852
00:59:33,560 --> 00:59:36,131
You're not thinking of going
for the plow by yourself, are you?
853
00:59:38,560 --> 00:59:41,484
Well, shepherd has got
to protect his flock.
854
01:00:29,040 --> 01:00:31,640
I can't believe you're
afraid to come up here by yourself.
855
01:00:31,680 --> 01:00:34,923
It's not my fault
Aunt Dorothy clogged up the crapper.
856
01:00:36,360 --> 01:00:37,646
Hey, Stevie?
857
01:00:37,720 --> 01:00:38,846
Yeah?
858
01:00:39,560 --> 01:00:40,971
Do you think
they took Howie
859
01:00:41,040 --> 01:00:43,646
because of the time
we painted the cats?
860
01:00:43,720 --> 01:00:45,290
I don't know, Jordan.
861
01:00:47,080 --> 01:00:48,844
Do you think he's dead?
862
01:00:49,400 --> 01:00:50,845
I don't know.
863
01:00:52,880 --> 01:00:53,927
Jordan?
864
01:00:56,920 --> 01:00:58,365
Stevie?
865
01:01:01,400 --> 01:01:02,447
Beth?
866
01:01:03,400 --> 01:01:04,561
Beth, you up there?
867
01:01:05,240 --> 01:01:07,641
Stevie? Jordan?
868
01:01:07,720 --> 01:01:09,324
What are you doing?
869
01:01:09,400 --> 01:01:12,563
Where have you been?
Everyone's freaking out.
870
01:01:12,640 --> 01:01:14,608
Come up here
and I'll show you.
871
01:01:14,720 --> 01:01:17,451
I've been
waiting for you guys.
872
01:01:17,560 --> 01:01:18,766
Hurry.
873
01:01:20,040 --> 01:01:21,405
Have you told Max yet?
874
01:01:21,760 --> 01:01:23,569
No. Not yet.
875
01:01:25,960 --> 01:01:26,961
Jordan?
876
01:01:27,640 --> 01:01:28,721
Stevie!
877
01:01:30,760 --> 01:01:32,683
Where are they?
Where did they go?
878
01:01:32,760 --> 01:01:34,046
They were just here.
879
01:01:34,120 --> 01:01:35,849
I think they went
to the bathroom.
880
01:01:35,960 --> 01:01:37,200
And you just let them go?
881
01:01:37,280 --> 01:01:38,770
Was there another option?
882
01:01:41,840 --> 01:01:42,887
Jordan!
883
01:01:42,960 --> 01:01:44,962
Stevie? Jordan?
Linda.
884
01:01:45,800 --> 01:01:46,881
Listen.
885
01:01:48,640 --> 01:01:50,051
Honey, who is that?
886
01:01:50,680 --> 01:01:52,444
Howard, stay here.
887
01:01:57,280 --> 01:01:58,486
Omi?
Hmm?
888
01:01:59,240 --> 01:02:01,004
I think all this
might be my fault.
889
01:02:15,720 --> 01:02:16,801
Uncle Howard?
890
01:02:21,600 --> 01:02:22,601
Rosie.
891
01:02:24,000 --> 01:02:25,206
Come here, girl.
892
01:02:28,240 --> 01:02:30,163
Useless turd.
893
01:02:30,720 --> 01:02:32,882
All right, wait here.
894
01:02:49,360 --> 01:02:50,600
Jordan?
895
01:02:51,920 --> 01:02:53,365
Stevie?
896
01:03:05,840 --> 01:03:07,763
Okay. Okay.
897
01:03:13,720 --> 01:03:15,131
Jordan.
898
01:03:15,200 --> 01:03:16,247
Stevie?
899
01:03:29,560 --> 01:03:31,289
You guys.
900
01:03:39,400 --> 01:03:40,731
The hell is this?
901
01:03:48,080 --> 01:03:49,525
God damn it.
902
01:03:51,760 --> 01:03:54,604
It's okay.
I got you.
903
01:03:55,360 --> 01:03:56,964
You're gonna be okay.
904
01:04:57,760 --> 01:04:58,807
What...
905
01:05:09,640 --> 01:05:11,324
Oh, come on!
906
01:05:13,840 --> 01:05:14,840
Hey!
907
01:05:14,880 --> 01:05:16,803
Oh, my God!
908
01:05:17,320 --> 01:05:19,163
- No!
- Jordan! No!
909
01:05:19,240 --> 01:05:20,765
Oh, my God!
910
01:05:26,840 --> 01:05:28,524
Shoot it, Tom!
Shoot it!
911
01:05:28,600 --> 01:05:30,170
For God's sake,
shoot it!
912
01:05:34,920 --> 01:05:35,921
Linda!
913
01:05:46,320 --> 01:05:48,084
We should have
gone to my brother's.
914
01:06:03,720 --> 01:06:05,165
Where did it go?
I don't know!
915
01:06:05,240 --> 01:06:06,571
Oh, my God.
916
01:06:35,760 --> 01:06:36,761
Ow!
917
01:06:41,240 --> 01:06:42,287
- Bear!
- What?
918
01:06:42,880 --> 01:06:44,689
Bear!
919
01:07:17,840 --> 01:07:18,887
Oh, my God!
920
01:07:32,120 --> 01:07:33,884
You have got to be
kidding me!
921
01:07:44,000 --> 01:07:45,286
Merry Christmas, mother...
922
01:07:45,360 --> 01:07:47,124
There he is!
Charge!
923
01:08:08,160 --> 01:08:09,730
That's a good girl.
924
01:08:27,680 --> 01:08:28,681
Get off of me!
925
01:08:37,840 --> 01:08:38,966
Stevie?
926
01:08:39,040 --> 01:08:40,201
Stevie!
927
01:09:07,280 --> 01:09:11,444
Hey! Give me back
my kids, you fudger!
928
01:09:15,200 --> 01:09:16,440
Jordan!
929
01:09:18,520 --> 01:09:21,046
Stevie. I'm coming, baby.
930
01:09:21,400 --> 01:09:23,767
Stevie. Baby.
931
01:09:23,840 --> 01:09:24,841
It's okay.
932
01:09:24,920 --> 01:09:28,049
Mama's here. Mama's here.
There you go!
933
01:09:28,120 --> 01:09:30,282
Mom, it got Jordan.
934
01:09:30,400 --> 01:09:32,562
It was gonna eat me next.
935
01:09:35,200 --> 01:09:36,201
Thanks, honey.
936
01:09:36,280 --> 01:09:38,248
Are you okay?
Are you okay?
937
01:09:53,000 --> 01:09:54,411
What?
938
01:09:55,440 --> 01:09:57,204
Mom!
939
01:09:57,280 --> 01:09:58,884
Max!
940
01:09:58,960 --> 01:10:02,806
Come on, baby.
Come on, baby. It's okay.
941
01:10:03,320 --> 01:10:04,526
Max, are you okay?
Yeah.
942
01:10:04,600 --> 01:10:05,761
What happened up there?
943
01:10:06,000 --> 01:10:07,968
They got Jordan.
Who?
944
01:10:14,760 --> 01:10:15,886
Mom?
945
01:10:16,640 --> 01:10:19,120
I think it's panicking,
trying to get outside.
946
01:10:19,360 --> 01:10:22,045
Well, we boarded
everything up.
947
01:10:22,120 --> 01:10:24,441
Howard, that's Jordan.
948
01:10:24,520 --> 01:10:25,567
We gotta get in there.
949
01:10:25,640 --> 01:10:26,926
We gotta get in
there and get her out.
950
01:10:27,000 --> 01:10:29,890
Linda, what are we dealing with?
What did you see up there?
951
01:10:29,960 --> 01:10:31,724
You don't wanna know,
sweetheart.
952
01:10:31,800 --> 01:10:34,531
Honey, I just got
my ass kicked
953
01:10:34,600 --> 01:10:35,965
by a bunch of
Christmas cookies,
954
01:10:36,040 --> 01:10:38,486
so trust me when I say I can take it!
955
01:10:49,880 --> 01:10:51,484
Max, what are you doing?
956
01:10:53,480 --> 01:10:54,686
Go get them, girl.
957
01:11:03,800 --> 01:11:04,961
Get them, Rosie.
958
01:11:24,520 --> 01:11:26,170
Rosie?
959
01:11:45,040 --> 01:11:46,769
For God's sake,
Howard, shoot it!
960
01:11:49,320 --> 01:11:50,321
Dad!
961
01:11:51,240 --> 01:11:52,685
Get it off me!
962
01:11:52,760 --> 01:11:54,091
Dad!
963
01:11:54,840 --> 01:11:56,080
You bitch!
964
01:12:00,840 --> 01:12:02,604
Get it off me! God!
965
01:12:05,240 --> 01:12:06,651
Dad!
966
01:12:06,720 --> 01:12:08,131
Dad!
967
01:12:08,640 --> 01:12:09,721
Omi!
968
01:12:27,120 --> 01:12:28,963
Aunt Dorothy.
969
01:12:29,040 --> 01:12:30,280
Finish it.
970
01:12:30,360 --> 01:12:32,203
With pleasure.
971
01:12:40,080 --> 01:12:41,081
Oh, shit.
972
01:12:44,760 --> 01:12:46,444
Max, be careful!
973
01:12:48,240 --> 01:12:49,446
Mom!
974
01:12:49,880 --> 01:12:51,291
Stay behind me!
975
01:13:23,520 --> 01:13:25,249
Howard, where's Chrissy?
I don't know!
976
01:13:25,320 --> 01:13:27,402
Where's the baby?
977
01:13:27,480 --> 01:13:29,005
Honey, where's your sister?
978
01:13:31,080 --> 01:13:32,081
No!
979
01:13:32,160 --> 01:13:33,321
No, Linda! No!
980
01:13:33,400 --> 01:13:34,481
Howard!
981
01:13:34,680 --> 01:13:36,842
Howard, the baby!
982
01:13:37,320 --> 01:13:39,004
I'll see you in hell.
983
01:13:41,520 --> 01:13:44,524
Twisted fairytale horseshit!
984
01:13:44,600 --> 01:13:45,681
Howard, no!
985
01:13:49,680 --> 01:13:51,170
Oh, great!
986
01:14:20,080 --> 01:14:21,127
Are you okay?
987
01:14:21,400 --> 01:14:22,731
Are you okay?
988
01:14:23,840 --> 01:14:25,365
Max, get the ammo.
989
01:14:29,040 --> 01:14:30,201
Where did they go?
990
01:14:30,520 --> 01:14:31,965
I'm more worried about
when they come back.
991
01:14:32,040 --> 01:14:33,405
We need to make
a break for it.
992
01:14:33,520 --> 01:14:34,681
For what, Tom?
993
01:14:34,760 --> 01:14:36,649
The snowplow.
It's our only shot.
994
01:14:36,880 --> 01:14:38,291
And then we're
going after them.
995
01:14:39,640 --> 01:14:41,404
What is going on?
996
01:14:41,720 --> 01:14:43,085
Sarah, what's going on?
997
01:14:43,400 --> 01:14:44,731
Mom, come on,
we're leaving.
998
01:14:45,400 --> 01:14:46,686
You're gonna be okay.
999
01:14:48,680 --> 01:14:51,570
Mom! We have to go. Now!
1000
01:14:55,400 --> 01:14:56,401
It's him.
1001
01:15:07,600 --> 01:15:08,726
Let's go.
1002
01:15:10,240 --> 01:15:12,208
Max. Max.
Come, come, come.
1003
01:15:17,240 --> 01:15:18,680
- Hurry, hurry.
- Get your gloves on.
1004
01:15:18,800 --> 01:15:20,165
Here, put your hood up.
1005
01:15:23,560 --> 01:15:24,800
Okay, ready?
1006
01:15:30,000 --> 01:15:31,161
Everybody...
1007
01:15:32,000 --> 01:15:33,445
Hold onto each other.
1008
01:15:43,280 --> 01:15:44,725
Omi!
1009
01:15:45,440 --> 01:15:46,441
Be good.
1010
01:15:46,800 --> 01:15:47,801
Omi!
1011
01:15:48,760 --> 01:15:51,331
Omi! Omi, no!
1012
01:15:52,520 --> 01:15:54,409
Omi!
1013
01:15:54,480 --> 01:15:56,005
Mom!
1014
01:15:56,080 --> 01:15:57,320
Mom, open the door!
1015
01:15:57,720 --> 01:15:58,721
Mom!
1016
01:15:59,920 --> 01:16:02,491
Mom, you open this door now!
1017
01:16:04,920 --> 01:16:05,967
The window.
1018
01:16:06,120 --> 01:16:07,201
Dad!
1019
01:16:07,280 --> 01:16:09,282
She wants to face him.
1020
01:16:09,360 --> 01:16:10,930
She's trying to help.
1021
01:16:15,840 --> 01:16:16,841
Let's go.
1022
01:16:17,320 --> 01:16:19,641
Let's go, let's go. Go!
1023
01:18:38,240 --> 01:18:39,924
Keep moving!
1024
01:18:58,480 --> 01:19:01,643
Go! Go, get
behind me. Go.
1025
01:19:02,120 --> 01:19:04,168
Go, go, go!
Keep moving.
1026
01:19:04,520 --> 01:19:06,010
Come on, buddy.
1027
01:19:11,000 --> 01:19:12,843
Come on.
1028
01:19:24,920 --> 01:19:26,843
You have to go.
You have to go.
1029
01:19:26,920 --> 01:19:28,251
I need you to go!
No.
1030
01:19:28,400 --> 01:19:31,529
All of you, you have to go.
Do you understand?
1031
01:19:31,680 --> 01:19:34,365
Keep driving.
Do you understand?
1032
01:19:37,440 --> 01:19:38,851
I love you.
1033
01:19:38,960 --> 01:19:40,530
I love you, buddy.
1034
01:19:42,040 --> 01:19:44,202
Go! Now. Go!
1035
01:19:47,360 --> 01:19:48,441
Go!
1036
01:19:55,560 --> 01:19:56,561
Come on!
1037
01:20:19,800 --> 01:20:20,926
Come on.
1038
01:20:25,560 --> 01:20:28,086
Keep going, keep going.
God, get in.
1039
01:20:28,160 --> 01:20:29,366
I want you to
get up in here.
1040
01:20:29,440 --> 01:20:30,800
And I don't want
you to move, okay?
1041
01:20:30,840 --> 01:20:32,285
You stay here,
you don't move.
1042
01:20:35,080 --> 01:20:36,206
Okay?
You understand?
1043
01:20:36,280 --> 01:20:38,726
Mom! Mom, please!
1044
01:20:39,120 --> 01:20:40,326
Sarah!
1045
01:20:40,400 --> 01:20:42,926
Baby, go with
your Aunt Sarah.
1046
01:20:43,000 --> 01:20:44,001
Sarah! Go! Go on!
1047
01:20:44,760 --> 01:20:46,410
Stevie, sweetheart, it's okay.
Mom!
1048
01:20:46,480 --> 01:20:48,323
It's okay. Come on.
No! Mom!
1049
01:20:48,680 --> 01:20:49,681
Sarah!
1050
01:20:51,000 --> 01:20:52,440
Stay here.
I'll be right back.
1051
01:20:53,160 --> 01:20:55,162
Sarah!
1052
01:20:56,360 --> 01:20:58,124
Mom! No!
1053
01:20:58,280 --> 01:21:00,044
I love you.
Mom! Mom!
1054
01:21:00,760 --> 01:21:01,966
Mom!
1055
01:21:07,720 --> 01:21:09,529
Max, we gotta go.
1056
01:21:09,600 --> 01:21:12,046
Max, we gotta go. Max.
1057
01:21:13,880 --> 01:21:14,927
Come on.
1058
01:21:15,960 --> 01:21:17,086
Come on.
1059
01:21:17,880 --> 01:21:19,769
It's not starting.
It's not starting.
1060
01:21:19,880 --> 01:21:21,325
Why isn't it starting?
Come on.
1061
01:21:21,480 --> 01:21:23,528
Come on! Come on, Max, please.
I'm trying.
1062
01:21:23,600 --> 01:21:25,409
I don't even know
how to drive a stick!
1063
01:21:25,480 --> 01:21:27,005
We have a hybrid!
1064
01:21:27,080 --> 01:21:28,520
Come on! Please!
1065
01:21:36,960 --> 01:21:39,486
Get off of me!
1066
01:21:43,680 --> 01:21:44,761
Stevie! Stevie!
1067
01:21:45,320 --> 01:21:46,367
Get off me!
1068
01:21:49,960 --> 01:21:52,531
I said get off!
1069
01:22:00,480 --> 01:22:01,527
Max!
1070
01:22:07,160 --> 01:22:08,924
Max! Max, no!
1071
01:22:09,000 --> 01:22:10,729
No! No! No!
1072
01:22:11,520 --> 01:22:12,567
Max!
1073
01:22:12,640 --> 01:22:14,165
Stevie!
1074
01:22:59,800 --> 01:23:02,167
He left me as a reminder
1075
01:23:02,240 --> 01:23:06,723
of what happens
when hope is lost,
1076
01:23:08,080 --> 01:23:10,811
when belief is forgotten,
1077
01:23:11,920 --> 01:23:15,686
and the Christmas spirit dies.
1078
01:23:31,440 --> 01:23:33,090
Help!
1079
01:23:35,360 --> 01:23:36,361
Help me!
1080
01:23:41,600 --> 01:23:42,761
Max!
1081
01:23:54,600 --> 01:23:55,601
Get off me!
1082
01:24:01,320 --> 01:24:02,810
Hey!
1083
01:24:03,400 --> 01:24:04,686
Asshole!
1084
01:24:16,800 --> 01:24:18,962
I take back my wish!
1085
01:24:19,480 --> 01:24:21,448
I take it all back!
1086
01:24:25,760 --> 01:24:28,809
Give me back my family!
1087
01:25:25,960 --> 01:25:27,007
Max!
1088
01:25:30,040 --> 01:25:31,849
Let her go!
1089
01:25:32,040 --> 01:25:33,644
Help me!
1090
01:25:54,280 --> 01:25:55,520
Please.
1091
01:25:56,200 --> 01:25:58,328
I know you can fix this.
1092
01:25:58,400 --> 01:26:00,323
Give them back.
1093
01:26:02,400 --> 01:26:03,925
Take me instead.
1094
01:26:41,440 --> 01:26:43,124
No, what are you doing?
I said take me.
1095
01:26:44,240 --> 01:26:45,605
No, take me!
1096
01:26:45,800 --> 01:26:47,290
No, what are you doing?
Take me!
1097
01:26:47,960 --> 01:26:49,530
No!
1098
01:26:49,640 --> 01:26:50,926
Stevie!
1099
01:26:57,960 --> 01:26:59,644
Let me go!
1100
01:27:00,800 --> 01:27:02,689
No! No! Please!
1101
01:27:10,800 --> 01:27:11,801
I'm sorry.
1102
01:27:14,160 --> 01:27:16,811
I just wanted Christmas
to be like it used to be.
1103
01:27:21,760 --> 01:27:23,410
No!
1104
01:28:36,480 --> 01:28:38,164
Good throw, Sarah.
1105
01:28:39,120 --> 01:28:41,009
- You want down?
- Thank you. I appreciate that.
1106
01:28:41,080 --> 01:28:43,526
Doggie can't have cookie.
No, that's your cookie.
1107
01:28:43,600 --> 01:28:45,045
This dog
didn't keep you guys up?
1108
01:28:45,120 --> 01:28:46,201
She likes to
bark at night.
1109
01:28:46,280 --> 01:28:47,964
She sure does.
1110
01:28:48,040 --> 01:28:50,884
Thanks for making pancakes.
Those were really good.
1111
01:28:50,960 --> 01:28:52,371
Good girl.
1112
01:28:52,440 --> 01:28:54,329
Morning.
1113
01:28:54,400 --> 01:28:56,289
Flax smoothie
in the morning...
1114
01:28:56,800 --> 01:28:59,644
About time you got up.
We've been waiting forever.
1115
01:28:59,720 --> 01:29:01,529
Oh hey, there he is!
Hey, kiddo.
1116
01:29:01,600 --> 01:29:03,680
We thought the sugarplum fairies
may have gotten you.
1117
01:29:04,600 --> 01:29:05,761
You're all alive.
1118
01:29:06,080 --> 01:29:07,241
Barely.
1119
01:29:08,760 --> 01:29:11,650
I haven't felt this hungover
since the pope died.
1120
01:29:11,760 --> 01:29:13,000
What's up, buddy?
You okay?
1121
01:29:13,920 --> 01:29:15,126
Yeah, I just...
1122
01:29:18,760 --> 01:29:20,683
Just had a bad dream,
I guess.
1123
01:29:20,880 --> 01:29:21,881
Aw.
1124
01:29:22,760 --> 01:29:24,046
Enough with
the sappy crap.
1125
01:29:24,120 --> 01:29:25,531
Let's open up
the damn presents.
1126
01:29:25,600 --> 01:29:27,045
Okay. Okay, already.
1127
01:29:27,120 --> 01:29:29,122
Come on, Linda, let's do this.
You wanna help me?
1128
01:29:31,080 --> 01:29:32,081
Okay.
1129
01:29:32,160 --> 01:29:33,161
Okay.
1130
01:29:33,400 --> 01:29:35,846
Merry Christmas, Max.
1131
01:29:35,920 --> 01:29:36,920
Girls.
1132
01:29:36,960 --> 01:29:38,724
I got two beverages.
1133
01:29:41,640 --> 01:29:42,680
Stevie, sweetheart.
1134
01:29:43,560 --> 01:29:44,561
Thank you, Mom.
1135
01:29:44,640 --> 01:29:45,641
Are you excited?
1136
01:29:45,720 --> 01:29:47,802
Jordan.
Should be.
1137
01:29:49,560 --> 01:29:50,800
Oh-ho-ho-ho!
1138
01:29:50,880 --> 01:29:51,961
Isn't that fun?
1139
01:29:52,840 --> 01:29:54,842
Hey, Maxi-Pad.
Training batting gloves.
1140
01:29:56,360 --> 01:29:57,805
What could
that possibly be?
1141
01:29:58,440 --> 01:29:59,646
Oh, my God!
1142
01:30:00,040 --> 01:30:01,610
"Oh, my God," is right.
1143
01:30:01,680 --> 01:30:03,120
That's from
me and the girls.
1144
01:30:03,280 --> 01:30:05,089
I had to reattach the foot.
1145
01:30:05,160 --> 01:30:07,322
Yeah,
if you look closely,
1146
01:30:07,480 --> 01:30:10,131
he did a really good
job of reattaching it.
1147
01:30:11,640 --> 01:30:12,880
The darn thing,
when we came up on it,
1148
01:30:13,000 --> 01:30:14,240
it was trying to chew
its own foot.
1149
01:30:14,320 --> 01:30:15,731
Oh, thank you.
1150
01:30:15,840 --> 01:30:17,569
This is great.
1151
01:30:17,680 --> 01:30:19,444
You're the best, Howard.
I want travel-size.
1152
01:30:19,640 --> 01:30:21,563
Wow. What's
this all about?
1153
01:30:22,440 --> 01:30:24,522
It's nothing. Just...
1154
01:30:25,320 --> 01:30:26,685
Merry Christmas.
1155
01:30:27,680 --> 01:30:29,444
Merry Christmas
to you, too, Max.
1156
01:30:29,520 --> 01:30:31,363
Merry Christmas, son.
1157
01:30:39,120 --> 01:30:40,121
Right?
1158
01:30:40,200 --> 01:30:41,565
I cannot believe it.
1159
01:30:41,680 --> 01:30:44,160
- This is the best.
- Oh, my God.
1160
01:30:44,320 --> 01:30:45,810
You're very welcome.
1161
01:30:45,880 --> 01:30:47,689
Oh, man.
1162
01:30:58,920 --> 01:31:01,571
I just wanted Christmas
to be like it used to be.
1163
01:31:02,360 --> 01:31:04,249
That's what
a family is, Max.
1164
01:31:04,360 --> 01:31:06,200
Nothing bad's
gonna happen on Christmas, right?
1165
01:31:06,240 --> 01:31:09,608
I just got my ass kicked
by a bunch of Christmas cookies,
1166
01:31:09,680 --> 01:31:10,920
so trust me when I
say I can take it!
1167
01:31:11,040 --> 01:31:12,929
"They're why some
people shouldn't be allowed to breed!"
1168
01:31:13,200 --> 01:31:14,770
Do you think
they took Howie
1169
01:31:14,840 --> 01:31:16,569
because of the time
he painted the cats?
1170
01:31:19,680 --> 01:31:22,524
And as he had for
thousands of years,
1171
01:31:23,520 --> 01:31:27,764
Krampus came not to reward,
but to punish.
1172
01:31:27,960 --> 01:31:33,364
Not to give, but to take.
74361
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