Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,045 --> 00:00:03,795
[ Water running ]
Hey, we're out of soap.
2
00:00:04,213 --> 00:00:05,923
Oh, okay.
3
00:00:05,964 --> 00:00:07,594
‐You know what's weird?
‐Hmm?
4
00:00:07,633 --> 00:00:12,013
In the last eight years,
I cannot even think of a time
5
00:00:12,054 --> 00:00:14,514
when we ran out of soap.
6
00:00:14,556 --> 00:00:19,096
I mean, is our house
like the Hanukkah of soaps?
7
00:00:19,144 --> 00:00:21,274
No, I'm just the miracle
of soap
8
00:00:21,313 --> 00:00:23,943
because I've been
replacing it for eight years.
9
00:00:23,982 --> 00:00:25,192
You know,
I can totally do that.
10
00:00:25,234 --> 00:00:27,034
Just tell me where to go
and what to get.
11
00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:29,197
I honestly appreciate
the offer,
12
00:00:29,238 --> 00:00:30,948
but it's easier for me
to just do it
13
00:00:30,989 --> 00:00:32,619
than to walk you
through the steps of it.
14
00:00:32,658 --> 00:00:34,198
Oh, thank you,
because I just washed
15
00:00:34,201 --> 00:00:36,201
my whole body with shampoo.
16
00:00:36,203 --> 00:00:37,543
Oh, we're also out
of toothpaste,
17
00:00:37,579 --> 00:00:39,249
so I'll get that, too.
Oh, no, we're not.
18
00:00:39,289 --> 00:00:40,579
Oh, my God! Yes, we are!
19
00:00:40,624 --> 00:00:42,674
You're amazing at this
bathroom stuff.
20
00:00:42,709 --> 00:00:44,209
Okay, real quick,
without looking ‐‐
21
00:00:44,253 --> 00:00:45,673
how many cotton balls
do we have left?
22
00:00:45,712 --> 00:00:47,132
Six.
23
00:00:47,172 --> 00:00:48,552
You want to know
how I knew that?
24
00:00:48,590 --> 00:00:51,970
Uh, because you didn't grow up
with cotton balls,
25
00:00:52,010 --> 00:00:54,390
so you really value
every cotton ball?
26
00:00:54,429 --> 00:00:58,639
Um, cool backstory,
but, no, it's because
27
00:00:58,684 --> 00:01:00,394
I notice everything
that needs to get done
28
00:01:00,435 --> 00:01:02,515
before it needs to get done.
29
00:01:02,562 --> 00:01:05,232
I'm the manager of the house
by default.
30
00:01:05,232 --> 00:01:07,572
Hey, I‐I do stuff.
31
00:01:07,568 --> 00:01:09,238
Yes, after I tell you.
32
00:01:09,278 --> 00:01:11,198
You are one of the things
I manage.
33
00:01:11,238 --> 00:01:13,408
If you don't believe me, there
are all these articles about it.
34
00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:14,697
It's called
the mental load.
35
00:01:14,741 --> 00:01:16,241
Ah.
Cool.
36
00:01:16,285 --> 00:01:17,575
Cool, cool, cool,
cool, cool, cool.
37
00:01:17,578 --> 00:01:19,408
Send me one of those articles.
38
00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:21,463
Okay, see, me having
to remember
39
00:01:21,456 --> 00:01:25,086
to send you one of the articles
is an example of my mental load.
40
00:01:25,127 --> 00:01:26,747
And if you Google it,
you can figure it out.
41
00:01:26,753 --> 00:01:28,263
And I know you can Google
42
00:01:28,297 --> 00:01:30,087
because I've seen
your search history ‐‐
43
00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:33,220
"Flo from Progressive
net worth?"
44
00:01:33,260 --> 00:01:36,100
She doesn't even need to do
those commercials anymore!
45
00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:39,386
She just loves her art ‐‐
and insurance.
46
00:01:39,433 --> 00:01:45,113
♪♪♪
47
00:01:45,147 --> 00:01:46,517
This is so exciting.
48
00:01:46,565 --> 00:01:48,605
I can't believe Friday's
your first school play
49
00:01:48,650 --> 00:01:50,440
and you got cast as Bob,
50
00:01:50,485 --> 00:01:54,445
the cutest superhero‐banana‐
princess‐phone I know.
51
00:01:54,448 --> 00:01:55,738
I'm gonna go practice
my dance.
52
00:01:55,782 --> 00:01:57,452
Okay.
Yeah.
53
00:01:58,994 --> 00:02:02,004
They should not let the kids
pick their own costumes.
54
00:02:02,039 --> 00:02:03,499
[ Door opens ]
55
00:02:03,540 --> 00:02:05,500
Oh! Damn it.
What's this giant box
56
00:02:05,500 --> 00:02:07,290
doing in the center
of the floor?
57
00:02:07,294 --> 00:02:09,594
Oh, did you want me to fall
over it so you could film it?
58
00:02:09,629 --> 00:02:12,469
Ha ha! No dice!
59
00:02:12,507 --> 00:02:13,967
Dave bought soap.
60
00:02:14,009 --> 00:02:15,549
I'm a soap guy now!
61
00:02:15,594 --> 00:02:17,644
Yep. I am the soap girl.
62
00:02:17,679 --> 00:02:21,599
Soap girls have to unpack the
soap, find a place in the house
63
00:02:21,642 --> 00:02:25,562
for 200 bars of soap, break down
the box and recycle it,
64
00:02:25,604 --> 00:02:29,154
and then buy more soap
because you got the wrong kind.
65
00:02:29,191 --> 00:02:30,731
What are you talking about?
No, I didn't.
66
00:02:30,776 --> 00:02:32,816
Uh, "Lumberjack Swagger"?
67
00:02:35,364 --> 00:02:39,494
Yeah, it's supposed to release
some of the pheromones.
68
00:02:39,534 --> 00:02:42,084
Okay, see,
this conversation counts
69
00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:44,210
as a whole mental load
for me.
70
00:02:44,247 --> 00:02:47,247
Oh, I love "Barry Mental Load."
71
00:02:49,336 --> 00:02:52,166
No, Deb, mental load ‐‐
72
00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:53,672
it's the invisible work
73
00:02:53,674 --> 00:02:56,184
that you do to keep
the household running.
74
00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:59,176
Eh, seems like a fake thing.
75
00:02:59,221 --> 00:03:01,141
It's very real.
76
00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:02,641
It's just that,
in every marriage,
77
00:03:02,683 --> 00:03:05,693
there's one person who always
has to figure stuff out
78
00:03:05,727 --> 00:03:07,847
and one who never has to.
79
00:03:09,523 --> 00:03:12,363
Well, in my day,
they called it "being a mother,"
80
00:03:12,401 --> 00:03:15,201
and we didn't complain
about it either.
81
00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:16,815
‐Davey?
‐Mm‐hmm?
82
00:03:16,863 --> 00:03:19,703
Davey, I know you're still
talking about, uh, going mental,
83
00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:22,490
but could you show me
how to work this thing?
84
00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:24,536
Yeah, I tried looking up
the instructions online,
85
00:03:24,579 --> 00:03:26,419
but every time
I Googled "grinder,"
86
00:03:26,456 --> 00:03:28,826
the results were
a little surprising.
87
00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:32,634
I will help you with the coffee,
but for the last time,
88
00:03:32,671 --> 00:03:35,511
please do not use Google
without me in your presence.
89
00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:37,379
Ohh.
He's the best.
90
00:03:37,426 --> 00:03:39,136
[ Chuckling ]
91
00:03:39,177 --> 00:03:43,347
Oh, Rebecca, you won
the lotto with this one!
92
00:03:43,390 --> 00:03:45,520
See that? I know your
mental load is real,
93
00:03:45,559 --> 00:03:49,059
but I have my own
mental load ‐‐ my parents.
94
00:03:49,104 --> 00:03:50,734
It's not the same.
95
00:03:50,772 --> 00:03:52,522
Oh, it's not the same?
96
00:03:52,566 --> 00:03:54,646
Have you ever tried to help
my mom figure out
97
00:03:54,693 --> 00:03:56,573
what actress
she's thinking of?
98
00:03:56,570 --> 00:03:59,660
She never knows if it's
Laura Linney or Laura Dern,
99
00:03:59,698 --> 00:04:02,328
but every single time,
it's Demi Moore.
100
00:04:03,785 --> 00:04:06,155
Okay, your parents
may be difficult,
101
00:04:06,204 --> 00:04:07,874
but you don't have
to do that stuff.
102
00:04:07,914 --> 00:04:09,584
This coming from the queen
of doing things
103
00:04:09,624 --> 00:04:10,964
she doesn't have to do.
104
00:04:10,959 --> 00:04:13,749
I mean, you vacuum‐seal
our kids' winter wardrobe
105
00:04:13,753 --> 00:04:15,923
so that it doesn't
get attacked by moths.
106
00:04:15,922 --> 00:04:17,592
And do we really have
to call them moths?
107
00:04:17,591 --> 00:04:18,841
We're so PC.
108
00:04:18,884 --> 00:04:21,604
Can't they just be
ugly butterflies?
109
00:04:21,636 --> 00:04:25,266
Okay, see, the fact that you
don't know what moths are
110
00:04:25,307 --> 00:04:28,267
is a testament
to my mental load.
111
00:04:28,310 --> 00:04:30,560
Okay.
Fine.
112
00:04:30,604 --> 00:04:34,274
If your mental load is so tough,
let's swap loads.
113
00:04:34,316 --> 00:04:36,356
Really?
You want this load?
114
00:04:36,401 --> 00:04:38,611
‐I want that load.
‐Okay, fine.
115
00:04:38,653 --> 00:04:41,453
I will take your parents.
Loads swapped.
116
00:04:41,448 --> 00:04:42,618
But everything that pops up on
117
00:04:42,657 --> 00:04:44,697
the family calendar,
that's all you.
118
00:04:44,743 --> 00:04:46,373
‐Okay.
‐Okay.
119
00:04:46,411 --> 00:04:47,791
‐Done and done.
‐Cool.
120
00:04:47,829 --> 00:04:49,499
‐Quick "Q."
‐Mm‐hmm.
121
00:04:49,539 --> 00:04:52,789
Now, this family calendar
that I check every day,
122
00:04:52,834 --> 00:04:55,714
where would this be located?
123
00:04:55,754 --> 00:04:57,804
It's an app that comes
with your phone.
124
00:04:57,839 --> 00:04:59,799
Here, I'm gonna turn on
your notifications.
125
00:04:59,841 --> 00:05:05,471
[ Phone chiming ]
126
00:05:05,472 --> 00:05:07,222
You hear that?
127
00:05:07,265 --> 00:05:10,265
That's the sound
of my nightmares.
128
00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:12,480
Well, it doesn't have to be
anymore,
129
00:05:12,521 --> 00:05:15,771
because it's things
that I have to do now.
Yep.
130
00:05:15,816 --> 00:05:18,646
Starting with
"organizing the garage."
131
00:05:18,693 --> 00:05:20,653
Easy peasy.
Ugh.
132
00:05:20,654 --> 00:05:22,574
Not really, because
organizing the garage
133
00:05:22,614 --> 00:05:24,414
is something you kind of
have to do the right way,
134
00:05:24,449 --> 00:05:26,829
or else it'll just
cause more work.
135
00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:28,327
Baby.
Baby, baby, baby, baby.
136
00:05:28,370 --> 00:05:30,370
Chill, chill, chill,
chill.
137
00:05:30,413 --> 00:05:31,793
Okay.
Okay?
138
00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:33,042
I got this.
I got your piles.
139
00:05:33,041 --> 00:05:35,251
I got your load.
Okay.
140
00:05:35,293 --> 00:05:37,673
Just please don't mess up
my garage.
141
00:05:37,671 --> 00:05:40,511
Okay, just please
don't mess up my parents.
142
00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:41,837
Yeah, I better be careful.
143
00:05:41,883 --> 00:05:43,683
One misstep, and they could
lose their home
144
00:05:43,718 --> 00:05:45,678
and end up living
with their kid.
145
00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:50,350
♪♪♪
146
00:05:50,392 --> 00:05:52,942
What are you doing here?
147
00:05:52,978 --> 00:05:55,518
This is my garage.
What are you doing here?
148
00:05:55,522 --> 00:05:56,822
I have to go to a dinner
party tomorrow,
149
00:05:56,857 --> 00:05:58,357
and I can't show up
empty‐handed.
150
00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:00,530
Luckily, Rebecca stashes
hostess gifts in here,
151
00:06:00,569 --> 00:06:05,369
and because I'm a good person,
I bring things ‐‐ your things.
152
00:06:05,407 --> 00:06:06,867
Well, I'm supposed
to be organizing
153
00:06:06,908 --> 00:06:08,448
the garage for Rebecca,
154
00:06:08,493 --> 00:06:11,543
but all these piles everywhere,
it's insane.
155
00:06:11,580 --> 00:06:12,910
Look at this stuff.
156
00:06:12,956 --> 00:06:15,746
"Donate," "trash," "keep ‐‐
important."
157
00:06:15,792 --> 00:06:20,052
Pool noodles, regular noodles,
Cups O Noodles.
158
00:06:20,046 --> 00:06:21,876
This could be the perfect
example
159
00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:24,012
of how Rebecca makes life harder
than it needs to be.
160
00:06:24,050 --> 00:06:26,720
I don't know. I feel like she
has a pretty good system.
161
00:06:26,761 --> 00:06:29,351
[ Phone chimes ]
162
00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:32,679
[ Sighs ] Man, I have to return
a book to the library?
163
00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:34,306
Could you please drop it off
for me?
164
00:06:34,352 --> 00:06:35,562
To the library?
165
00:06:35,562 --> 00:06:38,322
I don't know the route
to 1997.
166
00:06:38,356 --> 00:06:39,646
Thanks, Joanna.
167
00:06:39,691 --> 00:06:42,321
This has been even
less helpful than usual.
168
00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:43,740
Davey?
169
00:06:43,778 --> 00:06:45,568
Can you help me
find my wallet?
170
00:06:45,572 --> 00:06:47,742
I ‐‐ I think I left it
at a restaurant.
171
00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:50,331
Oh! Interesting.
172
00:06:50,368 --> 00:06:53,288
You lose your wallet right
when you owe me money.
173
00:06:53,330 --> 00:06:55,420
Why would you ever
borrow money from her?
174
00:06:55,457 --> 00:06:57,627
Well, you weren't
answering your phone.
175
00:06:57,626 --> 00:06:58,746
Dad?
Yeah?
176
00:06:58,793 --> 00:07:00,053
Money by Monday,
177
00:07:00,086 --> 00:07:02,756
or season two of
"The Crown" ‐‐ spoiled!
178
00:07:02,797 --> 00:07:04,007
That can't happen!
179
00:07:04,049 --> 00:07:05,929
Dad, the show is based
on history.
180
00:07:05,967 --> 00:07:08,597
It should've been spoiled
for you in high school.
181
00:07:08,637 --> 00:07:10,427
You know what?
Just help me find my wallet.
182
00:07:10,472 --> 00:07:12,102
Please, come on.
Okay.
183
00:07:12,098 --> 00:07:15,438
What restaurant were you
last at with it?
184
00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:17,395
The restaurant with
the amazing tap water.
185
00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:20,357
[ Laughs ] Okay.
You know what?
186
00:07:20,398 --> 00:07:22,028
This is not my problem
this week.
187
00:07:22,067 --> 00:07:24,277
Rebecca and I have
switched mental loads,
188
00:07:24,319 --> 00:07:26,449
so why don't you go
ask her for help?
189
00:07:26,488 --> 00:07:27,908
I'm a mental load?
190
00:07:29,991 --> 00:07:31,701
Ouch.
191
00:07:31,743 --> 00:07:35,083
♪♪♪
192
00:07:35,121 --> 00:07:37,171
Rebecca: I know we're gonna
find your wallet.
193
00:07:37,165 --> 00:07:38,825
Okay, let's just
retrace your steps.
194
00:07:38,833 --> 00:07:41,133
Okay, fine. Alright.
So, we get here ‐‐ boom ‐‐
195
00:07:41,127 --> 00:07:43,457
stand here, marvel
at the beautiful way
196
00:07:43,505 --> 00:07:45,625
they incorporated
all this beer‐sponsored art.
197
00:07:45,674 --> 00:07:48,554
Okay, I sanitized my hands ‐‐
ba‐boom.
198
00:07:48,593 --> 00:07:50,933
You know, I think this is
gonna be awhile,
199
00:07:50,970 --> 00:07:53,060
so I'm gonna
sit right over here,
200
00:07:53,098 --> 00:07:54,558
and maybe they'll bring me
some free
201
00:07:54,599 --> 00:07:57,059
crunchies and avocado sauce.
202
00:07:57,102 --> 00:07:59,482
You mean chips and guacamole?
203
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:01,609
What'd I say?
204
00:08:01,648 --> 00:08:03,478
Sat here ‐‐ boom ‐‐
I eat, I eat.
205
00:08:03,525 --> 00:08:05,645
Okay, get up, I get into it
with the busboy
206
00:08:05,694 --> 00:08:07,114
about who's the best
wartime president ‐‐
207
00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:10,323
[ Clears throat ]
McKinley ‐‐ zuh.
208
00:08:10,365 --> 00:08:12,575
Oh, God.
You threw your wallet away?
209
00:08:12,617 --> 00:08:14,117
Ugh.
It looks that way.
210
00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:16,620
Oh, I hoped it wouldn't come
to this, but, uh,
211
00:08:16,663 --> 00:08:18,713
I think we're gonna
need the rubber gloves.
212
00:08:18,707 --> 00:08:19,997
Oh, here I come.
213
00:08:20,041 --> 00:08:21,421
What do you mean,
the rubber gloves?
214
00:08:21,459 --> 00:08:22,839
You've done this before?
Here.
215
00:08:22,877 --> 00:08:24,837
Let us know what you find.
216
00:08:24,838 --> 00:08:27,008
♪♪♪
217
00:08:33,221 --> 00:08:34,181
I really thought we'd find
your wallet in the trash.
218
00:08:35,807 --> 00:08:37,637
Oh, we did find
Eric Dougherty's,
219
00:08:37,684 --> 00:08:40,314
so it's not a total failure.
220
00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:43,193
Oh, look, he's an organ donor.
Heh. Not this guy.
221
00:08:43,189 --> 00:08:48,029
I don't want some schmuck using
these eyes to watch the Yankees.
222
00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:50,028
Okay, Stew, we need to call
and cancel
223
00:08:50,030 --> 00:08:52,200
all of your credit cards
and reorder new ones.
224
00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:54,658
And my roadside‐assistance card.
225
00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:56,951
If whoever stole my wallet's
car breaks down,
226
00:08:56,995 --> 00:09:00,365
I want him stuck there ‐‐
schmuck!
227
00:09:00,415 --> 00:09:03,035
Somebody didn't steal it.
You lost it.
228
00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:05,053
And then they stole it,
or else we would've found it
229
00:09:05,086 --> 00:09:08,126
at the restaurant
with the amazing tap water.
230
00:09:08,173 --> 00:09:11,723
Meanwhile, what's Stew supposed
to do without his credit cards?
231
00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:13,048
What if he needs his Seltzer?
232
00:09:13,053 --> 00:09:15,393
He gets so parched.
Thank you.
233
00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:18,138
Well, I can set up Apple Pay
or Venmo on your phone
234
00:09:18,183 --> 00:09:21,903
so you can buy essentials on
your own and stop relying on us.
235
00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:23,395
See, this is Dave's problem.
236
00:09:23,438 --> 00:09:25,068
He does everything
for you guys.
237
00:09:25,106 --> 00:09:27,316
That's why he's
so overwhelmed.
238
00:09:27,358 --> 00:09:30,648
Well, I could think
of another reason.
239
00:09:30,695 --> 00:09:32,235
Okay, Stew, hand me your phone.
240
00:09:32,238 --> 00:09:35,368
Oh, if you're doing the phone,
will you do mine, too?
241
00:09:35,408 --> 00:09:38,238
Find all my subscriptions
and cancel them.
242
00:09:38,244 --> 00:09:40,214
Okay.
Debbie, what's your password?
243
00:09:40,246 --> 00:09:43,876
Uh, oh, well, it's either
Dave's birthday,
244
00:09:43,917 --> 00:09:48,337
my birthday, my old Brooklyn
address with a typo in it, or ‐‐
245
00:09:48,379 --> 00:09:50,009
oh, there's just
so many of them,
246
00:09:50,048 --> 00:09:52,088
and it's all so random.
247
00:09:52,133 --> 00:09:53,343
You know what?
248
00:09:53,384 --> 00:09:54,934
Let me know
when you figure it out.
249
00:09:54,969 --> 00:09:57,219
♪♪♪
250
00:09:57,263 --> 00:09:58,853
[ Phone chimes ]
251
00:09:58,890 --> 00:10:01,020
Oh, my God.
I got to prepare dinner already?
252
00:10:01,059 --> 00:10:03,099
I'm not even halfway
through the garage.
253
00:10:03,144 --> 00:10:04,774
Tried taking all of this stuff
to the donate center,
254
00:10:04,813 --> 00:10:06,113
but they wouldn't take
any of it.
255
00:10:06,147 --> 00:10:08,897
Oh, those donation centers
are way too picky.
256
00:10:08,942 --> 00:10:10,282
That's why,
when you kids were small,
257
00:10:10,276 --> 00:10:14,066
I just dumped everything
on the side of the road.
258
00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:16,414
I'm sorry ‐‐ did you just say
you dumped all your trash
259
00:10:16,449 --> 00:10:18,199
on the side of the road?
260
00:10:18,243 --> 00:10:20,373
Yeah.
That's what people do.
261
00:10:20,411 --> 00:10:23,121
That's why you see all the time
all those candles and flowers
262
00:10:23,164 --> 00:10:25,334
and picture frames
along the highway.
263
00:10:27,335 --> 00:10:29,205
No, Ma, those ‐‐
those are memorials
264
00:10:29,254 --> 00:10:30,804
for people
killed in car accidents.
265
00:10:30,839 --> 00:10:32,049
[ Gasps ]
266
00:10:32,090 --> 00:10:34,260
Oy vey!
267
00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:39,509
Why don't they put up a sign,
let a person know?
268
00:10:41,516 --> 00:10:42,976
[ Phone chimes ]
269
00:10:43,017 --> 00:10:45,437
[ Exhales, groans ]
270
00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:49,068
"Remember to get the kids
flu shots and look into possible
271
00:10:49,107 --> 00:10:52,817
vacation destinations
2021 'question mark'"?
272
00:10:52,861 --> 00:10:54,071
I'm never gonna finish
all this.
273
00:10:54,112 --> 00:10:57,072
‐Can I help you?
‐No. No.
274
00:10:57,115 --> 00:10:59,735
I cannot let you take on
any of my mental load.
275
00:10:59,784 --> 00:11:02,294
Although...
276
00:11:02,328 --> 00:11:04,038
maybe that's Rebecca's problem,
you know?
277
00:11:04,038 --> 00:11:05,368
She doesn't delegate.
278
00:11:05,415 --> 00:11:08,455
Yes, delegating is a form
of true leadership.
279
00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:11,171
Yes, you're right.
Okay.
280
00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:14,011
So I will go handle this,
which I am more than capable of,
281
00:11:14,048 --> 00:11:15,798
and you can, uh,
282
00:11:15,842 --> 00:11:17,472
help me organize the garage.
Wait a minute.
283
00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:20,100
I think that I would be better
with planning the vacation.
284
00:11:20,138 --> 00:11:23,138
I could be very creative
with the right AmEx.
285
00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:25,023
Me and Daddy took two weeks.
286
00:11:25,059 --> 00:11:26,849
We went to South Africa.
287
00:11:26,895 --> 00:11:29,105
We came back changed!
288
00:11:29,147 --> 00:11:31,267
You came back broke.
289
00:11:31,316 --> 00:11:34,486
♪♪♪
290
00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:36,857
That's good.
One...
291
00:11:36,863 --> 00:11:38,453
Uh, yes, Stew?
292
00:11:38,489 --> 00:11:41,119
I'm in the middle of helping
Asher memorize his lines.
293
00:11:41,159 --> 00:11:43,199
‐I'm a star!
‐Hey!
294
00:11:43,244 --> 00:11:45,374
I know you are!
295
00:11:45,413 --> 00:11:48,503
Uh, Rebecca, I'm having
a Venmo emergency.
296
00:11:48,541 --> 00:11:50,541
Dad, where's my 50 bucks?
297
00:11:50,543 --> 00:11:53,963
'Cause I was just thinking
of season two of "The Crown,"
298
00:11:54,005 --> 00:11:55,335
when the British Treasury ‐‐
299
00:11:55,381 --> 00:11:58,381
Oh, no, pl‐‐
You'll get your money!
300
00:11:58,384 --> 00:12:00,934
I just need to learn
how to use Venmo.
301
00:12:03,181 --> 00:12:05,231
Come here.
You just type her name in there.
302
00:12:05,266 --> 00:12:07,556
No, no, you do it. You do it.
No, no, please ‐‐ I can't!
303
00:12:07,602 --> 00:12:09,232
You got to learn
to take care of yourself.
304
00:12:09,270 --> 00:12:10,810
Oy. Alright. Here we go.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
305
00:12:10,855 --> 00:12:12,015
I got it. Okay.
306
00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:14,565
And $50 for Joanna.
307
00:12:14,609 --> 00:12:16,149
And...send.
308
00:12:16,194 --> 00:12:17,404
Did you get it?
309
00:12:17,403 --> 00:12:20,163
Nope.
Hmm.
310
00:12:20,198 --> 00:12:22,368
I'm thinking about when
a fog rolled in ‐‐
311
00:12:22,408 --> 00:12:24,158
Aw, come on, come on!
Please just do it.
Oh, dear Lord.
312
00:12:24,202 --> 00:12:26,252
Gimme the phone.
313
00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:29,366
Oh, my God.
You just sent her $5,000!
314
00:12:29,415 --> 00:12:32,915
What?!
I love today!
315
00:12:32,961 --> 00:12:36,051
Joanna, you owe me $4,950.
316
00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:38,169
Money by Monday.
317
00:12:38,216 --> 00:12:39,426
Nope.
I didn't get it.
318
00:12:39,425 --> 00:12:41,005
Oh, no.
What?
319
00:12:41,052 --> 00:12:44,062
Stew, you just sent
a random person $5,000.
320
00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:46,097
Oh, let me see.
321
00:12:46,099 --> 00:12:49,439
Oh, that's ‐‐ It doesn't say
Joanna Klein.
322
00:12:49,435 --> 00:12:51,435
It says "Joyce Basilone."
323
00:12:51,437 --> 00:12:54,857
No idea who she is,
but fantastic teeth.
324
00:12:54,899 --> 00:12:56,609
Come on. Can't you just press
the "undo" button?
325
00:12:56,609 --> 00:12:58,949
No, there's not an "undo"
button!
326
00:12:58,987 --> 00:13:01,197
Can we just keep this
between the three of us?
327
00:13:01,239 --> 00:13:08,999
And Joyce.
Can you message her?
328
00:13:10,540 --> 00:13:10,880
♪♪♪
329
00:13:12,834 --> 00:13:15,594
Did you do all of this
in the last two hours?
330
00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:17,418
I'm so good.
331
00:13:17,463 --> 00:13:19,423
[ Chuckles ]
Well, not me, technically.
332
00:13:19,465 --> 00:13:22,755
I hired Dee Rosenthal's two guys
to haul everything away.
333
00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:25,262
I delegated.
334
00:13:25,305 --> 00:13:26,755
I'm so good.
335
00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:28,466
Wait.
336
00:13:28,474 --> 00:13:30,444
But what happened to all of
Rebecca's "keep" stuff
337
00:13:30,476 --> 00:13:35,436
like the "seasonal ‐‐ keep"
and the "important ‐‐ keep"?
338
00:13:35,481 --> 00:13:38,651
David, you told me to organize
the garage,
339
00:13:38,651 --> 00:13:40,821
and that's what I did.
340
00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:42,740
Mom, this is a problem.
341
00:13:42,780 --> 00:13:44,990
I mean, that stuff said
"keep ‐‐ important,"
342
00:13:45,033 --> 00:13:46,583
and now it's gone forever.
343
00:13:46,617 --> 00:13:48,077
Look, maybe it wasn't
so important.
344
00:13:48,119 --> 00:13:50,999
You know how dramatic
Rebecca can be.
345
00:13:51,039 --> 00:13:52,869
Mom, what happened
to all of her stuff?
346
00:13:52,915 --> 00:13:54,375
I don't know!
347
00:13:54,375 --> 00:13:56,995
Dee Rosenthal's guys
are very...
348
00:13:57,045 --> 00:13:59,005
shifty.
349
00:13:59,047 --> 00:14:00,667
Well, then thank you
for inviting them
350
00:14:00,715 --> 00:14:02,295
to the place
where my children live!
351
00:14:02,341 --> 00:14:04,681
Oh, calm down.
You're getting all wound up.
352
00:14:04,719 --> 00:14:05,969
Let me just call Dee.
353
00:14:06,012 --> 00:14:08,012
She'll handle it in a minute.
354
00:14:08,056 --> 00:14:09,806
Hi.
It's Deb.
355
00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:12,689
[ Chuckles ]
Uh‐huh.
356
00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:14,975
Uh‐huh.
357
00:14:15,021 --> 00:14:16,981
Uh‐huh.
358
00:14:17,023 --> 00:14:19,443
Okay, thanks.
359
00:14:19,484 --> 00:14:20,654
She's in surgery.
360
00:14:20,693 --> 00:14:23,493
♪♪♪
361
00:14:23,529 --> 00:14:24,859
Ugh.
362
00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:26,534
Oh.
[ Clears throat ]
363
00:14:26,574 --> 00:14:27,784
Hey!
Hey.
364
00:14:27,825 --> 00:14:29,115
Hey, what ya doing?
365
00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:31,830
Oh, just playing this
trivia game on my phone.
366
00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:33,041
Oh.
Ah.
367
00:14:33,081 --> 00:14:36,041
"What is Venmo's refund policy?"
368
00:14:36,084 --> 00:14:38,674
That's a random question.
369
00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:39,881
I actually know that one.
370
00:14:39,921 --> 00:14:41,801
There is no refund policy.
371
00:14:41,839 --> 00:14:44,549
Yeah, my mom one time tried
to Venmo someone $10
372
00:14:44,550 --> 00:14:46,510
and instead
Venmo'd them $20,
373
00:14:46,552 --> 00:14:49,722
and let me tell you,
it was a disaster!
374
00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:51,682
That's why I took Venmo
off their phones.
375
00:14:51,724 --> 00:14:53,854
Cool.
Top score!
376
00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:56,653
Anyway, as far as the garage
goes, everything is going great.
377
00:14:56,687 --> 00:14:58,817
One thing ‐‐
um, that pile labeled
378
00:14:58,856 --> 00:15:02,526
"keep ‐‐ important,"
you know, what is that?
379
00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:04,858
Is it my birthday gift?
If it is, cough once,
380
00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:06,914
and I promise
I won't ruin the surprise.
381
00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:08,866
Oh, I'm so excited.
382
00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:11,578
It's Asher's costume
for the school play.
383
00:15:11,577 --> 00:15:14,617
I couldn't label it "costume,"
because he can read now.
384
00:15:14,664 --> 00:15:17,714
His kindergarten teacher
really screwed us.
385
00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:20,090
Yeah!
Yeah, she did. Ha!
386
00:15:21,754 --> 00:15:24,424
And that terrible kid‐written
play is the one
387
00:15:24,465 --> 00:15:26,085
where Asher
plays the character
388
00:15:26,092 --> 00:15:28,762
whose costume can be found
at the mall?
389
00:15:28,761 --> 00:15:30,681
Uh, I'm pretty sure
they don't have
390
00:15:30,721 --> 00:15:34,601
superhero‐banana‐princess‐phone
costumes at the mall.
391
00:15:34,642 --> 00:15:36,062
Right, yeah.
Right.
392
00:15:36,102 --> 00:15:38,102
Target? Costco?
CVS? Anything? No?
393
00:15:39,772 --> 00:15:43,612
♪♪♪
394
00:15:43,651 --> 00:15:45,071
What is wrong with you?
395
00:15:45,111 --> 00:15:47,741
You are so bad at life.
396
00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:49,450
Why would you ever ask Mom
for help?
397
00:15:49,490 --> 00:15:52,790
She thinks the recycling bin
is for blue trash only.
398
00:15:52,827 --> 00:15:55,077
I wanted to prove to Rebecca
that her mental load
399
00:15:55,121 --> 00:15:57,461
wasn't that stressful, but then
I got stressed out doing it
400
00:15:57,498 --> 00:16:01,458
because, honestly,
it's a little stressful.
401
00:16:01,460 --> 00:16:03,050
What's the best lie
you could think of right now?
402
00:16:03,087 --> 00:16:05,547
"You're gonna be fine"?
403
00:16:05,590 --> 00:16:06,970
Crap!
404
00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:09,636
There's no superhero‐
princess‐banana‐phone
405
00:16:09,677 --> 00:16:11,757
costume available
for next‐day shipping.
406
00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:13,064
Really?
407
00:16:13,097 --> 00:16:15,137
Shocking.
408
00:16:15,141 --> 00:16:16,931
You think anyone will notice
if I just threw him out there
409
00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:18,136
in his pajamas?
410
00:16:18,186 --> 00:16:19,726
Who am I kidding?
411
00:16:19,770 --> 00:16:22,150
Dee Rosenthal's guys
threw those out, too.
412
00:16:22,148 --> 00:16:24,898
How's she doing?
I heard she's in surgery.
413
00:16:24,942 --> 00:16:26,942
Still no word.
414
00:16:28,654 --> 00:16:30,914
What am I supposed to do,
just make the costume myself
415
00:16:30,948 --> 00:16:33,238
out of fabric and glue
and googly eyes?
416
00:16:33,284 --> 00:16:34,914
You mean like how Rebecca
did it?
417
00:16:34,952 --> 00:16:37,162
Yeah, that's exactly
what you're supposed to do.
418
00:16:37,205 --> 00:16:39,535
[ Phone chimes ]
419
00:16:39,582 --> 00:16:42,252
"Don't forget to return book
to the library."
420
00:16:42,293 --> 00:16:45,093
You see the bind
you put me in?!
421
00:16:45,129 --> 00:16:47,509
You could've just dropped
the book off!
422
00:16:47,506 --> 00:16:49,796
I had work.
423
00:16:49,842 --> 00:16:51,682
♪♪♪
424
00:16:51,677 --> 00:16:53,137
Damn it, Joyce.
425
00:16:53,179 --> 00:16:55,099
Joyce, I can't hear you.
426
00:16:55,139 --> 00:16:58,179
Well, can you leave the luau
for just a minute?!
427
00:16:58,226 --> 00:16:59,686
Please, my father‐in‐law
428
00:16:59,685 --> 00:17:03,185
is in no position
to send you $5,000!
429
00:17:03,231 --> 00:17:05,021
Why are you laughing?
430
00:17:05,066 --> 00:17:06,686
Joyce?
Joyce?
431
00:17:06,692 --> 00:17:08,652
Damn it, Joyce!
432
00:17:08,694 --> 00:17:11,034
[ Sighs ]
433
00:17:18,704 --> 00:17:20,084
What...
434
00:17:27,922 --> 00:17:28,262
Ow! Damn it!
435
00:17:29,549 --> 00:17:31,339
Princess‐banana‐phone!
436
00:17:31,384 --> 00:17:33,304
Dave?
437
00:17:33,344 --> 00:17:36,894
Uh, yeah, Ravi, I do think that
that house is a good one to flip
438
00:17:36,889 --> 00:17:38,809
and we will make
a bunch of cash.
439
00:17:38,849 --> 00:17:41,809
Uh, roger, roger.
Love you.
440
00:17:41,852 --> 00:17:43,732
Gonna hang up that toy phone?
441
00:17:43,771 --> 00:17:45,821
I can't.
442
00:17:45,856 --> 00:17:48,026
I hot‐glued it to my face.
443
00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:50,647
It's okay.
It's okay.
444
00:17:50,695 --> 00:17:52,195
‐It's okay.
‐Are you sure?
445
00:17:52,238 --> 00:17:53,698
It happens to everyone.
446
00:17:53,739 --> 00:17:54,909
‐Really?
‐No.
447
00:17:54,907 --> 00:17:57,237
Ow!
My sideburn!
448
00:17:57,285 --> 00:18:00,115
What are you doing gluing things
at 2:00 in the morning, anyway?
449
00:18:01,747 --> 00:18:03,917
Wait.
Where are all my piles?
450
00:18:03,958 --> 00:18:05,078
[ Chuckles ]
[ Gasps ]
451
00:18:05,126 --> 00:18:07,916
Funny story.
452
00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:10,340
You know, um, my mom's
distant friend
453
00:18:10,381 --> 00:18:12,051
Dee Rosenthal
that you've never met
454
00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:14,091
and who died earlier today
in surgery?
455
00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:16,183
‐No.
‐Anyway, it's her fault.
456
00:18:16,220 --> 00:18:17,850
I asked my mom to help me
clean out the garage,
457
00:18:17,888 --> 00:18:19,098
and she called
Dee Rosenthal,
458
00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:21,268
who has guys
who threw everything out,
459
00:18:21,309 --> 00:18:23,099
including Asher's costume.
460
00:18:23,144 --> 00:18:25,104
Keep in mind ‐‐ this was
the last phone call
461
00:18:25,146 --> 00:18:27,106
Dee Rosenthal ever made.
462
00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:29,356
You lost Asher's costume?!
463
00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:31,610
I can't believe you.
464
00:18:31,652 --> 00:18:33,112
How do you know
how to do it all?
465
00:18:33,154 --> 00:18:34,744
I don't.
466
00:18:34,780 --> 00:18:36,950
No one tells me what to do
or how to do things.
467
00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:40,119
I just figure it out myself
because someone has to.
468
00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:41,789
I'm human garbage, I know.
469
00:18:41,787 --> 00:18:43,827
But I'm gonna make the costume,
470
00:18:43,831 --> 00:18:45,171
and I'm gonna get us
more winter jackets
471
00:18:45,166 --> 00:18:46,826
even if it takes me
all year.
472
00:18:46,834 --> 00:18:48,714
But we don't have all year.
473
00:18:48,753 --> 00:18:51,093
Winter is coming!
474
00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:53,630
I know, and I failed,
475
00:18:53,674 --> 00:18:57,144
and you probably handled
my parents no problem.
476
00:18:57,178 --> 00:19:00,058
Okay, well, you made a mistake.
It happens.
477
00:19:00,097 --> 00:19:01,717
I'm so lucky.
478
00:19:01,766 --> 00:19:02,926
Seriously.
Oh, hey.
479
00:19:02,975 --> 00:19:04,805
You know,
here I am screwing up
480
00:19:04,810 --> 00:19:06,310
all over the place,
left and right,
481
00:19:06,312 --> 00:19:07,982
and you're just being
so understanding.
482
00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:10,150
Wait.
483
00:19:10,191 --> 00:19:11,941
Why are you being
so understanding?
484
00:19:11,984 --> 00:19:13,824
[ Sighs ] Okay, so,
485
00:19:13,819 --> 00:19:17,159
you know how you have that dad
who's bad with technology?
486
00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:19,156
Yeah, I know
how I have that dad.
487
00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:21,288
Yeah. So...
[ Sighs ]
488
00:19:21,327 --> 00:19:24,707
I put him in the perfect
place to lose $5,000.
489
00:19:24,705 --> 00:19:27,705
$5,000?
490
00:19:27,750 --> 00:19:30,130
That's like three more months
of them living with us!
491
00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:31,839
I know.
I'm sorry.
492
00:19:31,837 --> 00:19:33,957
Your load is really hard.
493
00:19:35,174 --> 00:19:36,434
I know.
494
00:19:38,177 --> 00:19:40,847
And your load
is even harder.
495
00:19:40,888 --> 00:19:42,178
I mean...
496
00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:47,853
you have to think about it every
day for the last eight years,
497
00:19:47,853 --> 00:19:49,443
and I've only had to think
about my load
498
00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:51,980
for, like, the last
two months.
499
00:19:52,024 --> 00:19:53,984
Aww.
Thanks, sweetie.
500
00:19:54,026 --> 00:19:55,436
Mwah.
501
00:19:55,486 --> 00:19:57,316
Now, what do you say
we take off this shirt...
502
00:19:57,363 --> 00:19:58,703
Yes.
503
00:19:58,698 --> 00:20:00,698
...and make it into a cape?
504
00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:02,330
Perfect.
505
00:20:02,368 --> 00:20:04,788
♪♪♪
506
00:20:06,455 --> 00:20:08,915
Where's my little star?
507
00:20:08,916 --> 00:20:11,876
Grammy's got flowers
for him.
508
00:20:11,919 --> 00:20:15,379
Yeah, and I got him
a fake Oscar at the mall.
509
00:20:15,381 --> 00:20:18,511
But I lost it, so, Rebecca, will
you help us retrace our steps?
510
00:20:18,551 --> 00:20:21,891
I think we may have left it
at Orange Julius.
511
00:20:21,887 --> 00:20:25,057
Thanks for bringing these, Mom,
but now I got to find a scissor,
512
00:20:25,099 --> 00:20:27,139
cut the stems,
recycle the plastic wrap,
513
00:20:27,184 --> 00:20:29,404
dig a vase out of God knows
where, fill it with water
514
00:20:29,437 --> 00:20:32,307
and that flower powder,
get rid of the pollen
515
00:20:32,356 --> 00:20:34,066
and the dead petals
that fall throughout the week,
516
00:20:34,108 --> 00:20:35,858
until eventually I have to
throw out the flowers
517
00:20:35,901 --> 00:20:38,031
because they stunk up the house,
so thank you.
518
00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:39,360
David...
519
00:20:39,405 --> 00:20:42,315
shut up!
520
00:20:42,366 --> 00:20:43,906
I was just trying to be nice.
521
00:20:43,909 --> 00:20:46,999
You're beginning to sound
like Rebecca.
522
00:20:47,037 --> 00:20:48,957
Yeah. He really does.
523
00:20:48,956 --> 00:20:50,366
‐Mm.
‐Hey!
524
00:20:50,416 --> 00:20:52,416
I found my wallet!
525
00:20:52,460 --> 00:20:54,750
It was in the burrito container!
526
00:20:54,754 --> 00:20:56,344
Stew wins!
527
00:20:56,380 --> 00:20:58,010
Stew wins.
528
00:20:58,048 --> 00:21:01,178
♪♪♪
529
00:21:01,218 --> 00:21:03,178
So, after all that,
530
00:21:03,220 --> 00:21:07,180
his superhero‐banana‐princess
costume was just made up.
531
00:21:07,224 --> 00:21:08,434
Yeah, I guess so.
532
00:21:08,434 --> 00:21:09,944
He's so creative...
533
00:21:09,977 --> 00:21:11,267
and so embarrassing.
534
00:21:12,605 --> 00:21:15,015
I like that he stands out.
535
00:21:17,485 --> 00:21:19,445
I don't think he looks
any different.
536
00:21:19,445 --> 00:21:22,195
Stew, take off your sunglasses.
537
00:21:23,949 --> 00:21:25,989
Oh, Jesus, this is a nightmare.
538
00:21:27,453 --> 00:21:29,503
Can you guys shut up?
I'm trying to record this.
539
00:21:29,497 --> 00:21:30,917
We'll be quiet.
So sorry.
540
00:21:30,956 --> 00:21:32,576
I was whispering.
541
00:21:32,625 --> 00:21:34,535
♪♪♪
37339
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.