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- 1936, Jesse Owens.
- 1960, Cassius Clay.
2
00:00:58,192 --> 00:01:01,161
And now in 1988,
the name on everyone's lips,
3
00:01:01,228 --> 00:01:04,595
US table tennis champion,
Randy Daytona.
4
00:01:04,665 --> 00:01:08,761
You've seen him in Sports Illustrated, on
the Cinnamon Toast Crunch box.
5
00:01:08,836 --> 00:01:12,567
You may even already own
his McDonald's collector's glass.
6
00:01:12,640 --> 00:01:15,973
The golden boy
who iced Iceland in round one,
7
00:01:16,043 --> 00:01:19,206
and checked off Czechoslovakia
in round two.
8
00:01:20,114 --> 00:01:23,880
So why don't we take a moment
to meet the real Randy Daytona?
9
00:01:24,585 --> 00:01:27,816
Here he is showing us his skills
with his lucky Def Leppard paddle
10
00:01:27,888 --> 00:01:30,015
that's won him
over 200 amateur matches.
11
00:01:30,091 --> 00:01:34,926
With him, as always, his coach and father,
Sergeant Pete Daytona, of the US Marines.
12
00:01:35,396 --> 00:01:38,160
Randy, you're only 12 years old,
and already they're saying
13
00:01:38,232 --> 00:01:39,676
that your name
will go down among those
14
00:01:39,700 --> 00:01:43,431
of the greatest Ping-Pong players
ever to take up the sport.
15
00:01:43,504 --> 00:01:46,098
And right offhand, I don't know
what those names are.
16
00:01:46,173 --> 00:01:50,803
Randy, the eyes of all America,
and indeed the entire world,
17
00:01:50,878 --> 00:01:52,345
will be on you tonight.
18
00:01:52,413 --> 00:01:54,381
USA! USA! USA!
19
00:01:54,448 --> 00:01:56,678
2:45 am. The moment
you've all been waiting for.
20
00:01:56,751 --> 00:01:58,912
The men's table tennis
semifinals.
21
00:01:58,986 --> 00:02:01,682
Tiny balls, bouncing for gold.
22
00:02:01,756 --> 00:02:03,280
USA! USA! USA!
23
00:02:03,357 --> 00:02:07,453
Now, presenting
the United States of America,
24
00:02:07,528 --> 00:02:09,291
Randy Daytona!
25
00:02:09,363 --> 00:02:10,489
Here he is,
26
00:02:10,564 --> 00:02:13,727
entering to his unofficial
theme song, Rock of Ages,
27
00:02:13,801 --> 00:02:15,996
by the super group Def Leppard.
28
00:02:16,070 --> 00:02:18,368
I love you, Randy!
29
00:02:21,342 --> 00:02:23,674
Hey, big guy, I just want
to make sure you're ready.
30
00:02:23,744 --> 00:02:24,768
Have you seen my dad?
31
00:02:24,845 --> 00:02:25,845
No.
32
00:02:29,683 --> 00:02:30,683
Where were you?
33
00:02:30,751 --> 00:02:32,742
You think I'd miss this?
34
00:02:38,459 --> 00:02:41,394
You didn't put money on this,
did you?
35
00:02:41,462 --> 00:02:43,191
Dad, you promised.
36
00:02:43,264 --> 00:02:44,754
Try not to think about it, okay?
37
00:02:44,832 --> 00:02:47,357
Now, presenting East Germany,
38
00:02:47,435 --> 00:02:50,063
Karl Wolfschtagg!
39
00:02:54,408 --> 00:02:58,071
Deutschland! Deutschland!
Deutschland! Deutschland!
40
00:03:13,594 --> 00:03:15,653
May the best man win, huh?
41
00:03:18,299 --> 00:03:20,665
I will destroy him!
42
00:03:20,734 --> 00:03:22,497
Beat that Kraut!
43
00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:42,886
Breathtaking intensity
surrounds the table
44
00:03:42,957 --> 00:03:46,415
as Daytona and Manslaughter
fire away at each other.
45
00:03:48,796 --> 00:03:50,764
Daytona's in the groove.
46
00:03:53,434 --> 00:03:56,733
Both men distancing themselves
from the table now.
47
00:03:56,804 --> 00:03:59,830
There's a high elevation lob.
Tremendous accuracy.
48
00:03:59,907 --> 00:04:03,673
And a smash by Manslaughter. And
Randy Daytona makes the save.
49
00:04:10,885 --> 00:04:13,683
One more smash!
And now Daytona goes back.
50
00:04:15,856 --> 00:04:17,448
Farther back!
51
00:04:18,259 --> 00:04:19,419
Back!
52
00:04:20,794 --> 00:04:24,230
And the crowd rises
in anticipation!
53
00:04:24,298 --> 00:04:25,595
He stretches.
54
00:04:25,666 --> 00:04:26,894
Look out!
55
00:04:27,868 --> 00:04:28,868
Shit!
56
00:04:32,506 --> 00:04:35,202
Randy? Randy? You okay?
57
00:04:35,276 --> 00:04:37,210
Randy? Randy?
58
00:04:37,745 --> 00:04:40,976
Randy Daytona, unable to finish.
59
00:04:41,048 --> 00:04:44,211
Match forfeit to East Germany.
60
00:04:51,025 --> 00:04:52,185
Randy?
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00:04:53,794 --> 00:04:55,762
I'm going to Disneyland!
62
00:05:06,907 --> 00:05:09,774
Come on, guys.
Can't we talk about this?
63
00:05:09,843 --> 00:05:12,209
Mr. Feng does not
extend credit.
64
00:05:16,717 --> 00:05:18,514
Gentlemen, time is money.
65
00:05:18,586 --> 00:05:19,917
Chop-chop.
66
00:05:21,555 --> 00:05:22,715
Jesus!
67
00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:27,092
Well, that's the way the
cookie crumbles here in Korea.
68
00:05:27,161 --> 00:05:30,028
As Reno's golden boy was
humiliated in the semifinals,
69
00:05:30,097 --> 00:05:34,056
and if he lives to be 100, he'll never
live down that Disneyland line.
70
00:05:34,134 --> 00:05:37,262
If he returns to America,
a life of shame.
71
00:05:41,709 --> 00:05:44,269
Two tickets to paradise!
72
00:05:44,345 --> 00:05:48,111
Won't you pack your bags?
We'll leave tonight
73
00:05:48,616 --> 00:05:52,313
I got...
Two tickets to paradise!
74
00:05:53,087 --> 00:05:59,287
I got...
Two tickets to paradise!
75
00:05:59,360 --> 00:06:00,725
Let's go to heaven
76
00:06:05,733 --> 00:06:07,667
Yeah! Thank you!
77
00:06:07,735 --> 00:06:09,532
Take a bow, honey.
78
00:06:09,603 --> 00:06:11,036
There she is!
79
00:06:11,105 --> 00:06:14,131
All right, let's keep the love
going for our very next act,
80
00:06:14,208 --> 00:06:17,974
The Peppermill's
very own Ping-Pong wizard...
81
00:06:18,045 --> 00:06:20,343
Randy Daytona!
Randy Daytona!
82
00:06:20,414 --> 00:06:23,144
Come on, let's bring him out.
83
00:06:27,688 --> 00:06:30,384
How's everybody feeling
this afternoon?
84
00:06:35,896 --> 00:06:38,091
All right!
85
00:06:57,885 --> 00:06:59,682
I don't want to work.
86
00:07:00,020 --> 00:07:03,581
I just want to bang on these
drums all day long. Am I right?
87
00:07:12,166 --> 00:07:13,394
Hey!
88
00:07:15,836 --> 00:07:17,201
Thank you!
89
00:07:21,842 --> 00:07:24,333
Hey, a volunteer!
How you doing, buddy?
90
00:07:24,411 --> 00:07:27,141
I was just going
for more Cheese 'n Mac.
91
00:07:30,684 --> 00:07:31,810
Stop!
92
00:07:34,822 --> 00:07:36,153
Thank you!
93
00:07:40,861 --> 00:07:43,455
We're in the biz
94
00:07:43,530 --> 00:07:48,160
to bring the bewonderment of
live theater to these people,
95
00:07:48,235 --> 00:07:52,695
so they will stay for the
loosest slots on The Strip.
96
00:07:52,773 --> 00:07:56,732
Not to give them
a heart attack, Randy!
97
00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:59,745
Sorry, Rick.
It will never happen again.
98
00:07:59,813 --> 00:08:02,441
I know because you're fired.
99
00:08:03,350 --> 00:08:06,376
Get your stink out
of my theater.
100
00:08:10,391 --> 00:08:12,450
Sorry, Randy.
101
00:08:12,526 --> 00:08:15,359
But some agent
was looking for you backstage.
102
00:08:15,429 --> 00:08:17,420
Maybe he missed the show.
103
00:08:21,402 --> 00:08:23,336
Thank you, Bethany.
104
00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:25,297
My name's Sarah.
105
00:08:25,973 --> 00:08:27,736
Are you kidding me?
Uh-uh.
106
00:08:28,375 --> 00:08:32,106
You've called me Bethany for the
past five years. It's fine.
107
00:08:34,715 --> 00:08:36,512
Mr. Daytona?
Yeah.
108
00:08:36,583 --> 00:08:38,448
Ernie Rodriguez, FBI.
109
00:08:38,519 --> 00:08:41,386
Oh, God! I didn't mean
to hurt that guy!
110
00:08:41,455 --> 00:08:43,055
How could I know that
he had a bad heart?
111
00:08:43,123 --> 00:08:44,681
That's not why I'm here.
112
00:08:44,758 --> 00:08:48,194
Hey, actually, I thought
that was part of the show.
113
00:08:48,262 --> 00:08:51,595
Till the paramedics showed up,
I was laughing my ass off.
114
00:08:51,665 --> 00:08:52,742
Well, am I in
some kind of trouble or...
115
00:08:52,766 --> 00:08:53,790
No.
116
00:08:53,867 --> 00:08:55,266
I came to ask you for your help.
117
00:08:55,335 --> 00:08:58,668
The FBI needs you to take part
in a top-secret mission.
118
00:08:58,739 --> 00:09:01,139
One that calls for a man
of your unique skills.
119
00:09:08,115 --> 00:09:10,015
I'm not joking, man.
I'm FBI. I swear.
120
00:09:10,083 --> 00:09:12,745
Come on, man. You got a
hidden camera on you, right?
121
00:09:12,820 --> 00:09:16,119
Cut it out.
You're not allowed to do that.
122
00:09:16,190 --> 00:09:17,214
Fake gun and everything.
123
00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:25,156
Now why don't you put on
some big boy pants
124
00:09:25,232 --> 00:09:26,927
and we'll go for a ride.
125
00:09:30,938 --> 00:09:32,769
The man with the umbrella
is our target.
126
00:09:32,840 --> 00:09:35,240
I think you'll want
to help us catch him, Randy.
127
00:09:35,309 --> 00:09:36,776
His name is Mr. Feng.
128
00:09:36,844 --> 00:09:38,471
Mr. Feng?
129
00:09:39,646 --> 00:09:41,057
That's the guy
that killed my father.
130
00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:42,776
I know.
131
00:09:42,850 --> 00:09:44,943
His face
has never been photographed.
132
00:09:45,018 --> 00:09:48,886
This sketch is based on the description
by a late agent of the ATF.
133
00:09:48,956 --> 00:09:50,924
Wait a minute,
this guy looks like...
134
00:09:50,991 --> 00:09:54,722
George Takei? Mr. Sulu? I know. It's
not, though. We checked him out.
135
00:09:54,795 --> 00:09:56,990
We have reason to believe
he's about to make
136
00:09:57,064 --> 00:09:59,396
some kind of a major shipment
into the US.
137
00:09:59,466 --> 00:10:02,435
And what, man? What do you
want me to do about it?
138
00:10:02,503 --> 00:10:03,936
What you were born to do.
139
00:10:04,004 --> 00:10:06,472
You see, Randy,
Feng is a Ping-Pong fanatic.
140
00:10:06,540 --> 00:10:08,804
He played for the Chinese
when he was a kid.
141
00:10:08,876 --> 00:10:11,174
Now every five years
he brings the best to him.
142
00:10:11,245 --> 00:10:13,611
A high-stakes tournament,
at a secret location.
143
00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:15,079
Invitation only.
144
00:10:15,148 --> 00:10:17,116
His men go to tournaments
all over the world,
145
00:10:17,184 --> 00:10:19,277
searching for
the best of the best.
146
00:10:19,353 --> 00:10:22,948
You see that gold paddle?
That's the invitation.
147
00:10:23,023 --> 00:10:26,288
You, Randy,
you're our ticket in.
148
00:10:26,360 --> 00:10:28,089
I'm not a spy, man.
149
00:10:28,195 --> 00:10:30,240
Look, you don't have to do
anything but play Ping-Pong, man.
150
00:10:30,264 --> 00:10:32,008
You go to a few tournaments
and do your stuff.
151
00:10:32,032 --> 00:10:33,309
If you're as good
as you used to be,
152
00:10:33,333 --> 00:10:35,164
I'm sure
you'll get an invitation.
153
00:10:35,235 --> 00:10:37,328
Look, this year Feng's
invited a who's who
154
00:10:37,404 --> 00:10:39,235
of the international
most wanted list.
155
00:10:39,306 --> 00:10:41,069
Randy, something big's
going down.
156
00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:44,076
Here's the thing.
You're bananas.
157
00:10:44,144 --> 00:10:48,103
I do matinee shows. I get
introduced by a cockatoo.
158
00:10:48,181 --> 00:10:50,513
Mr. Daytona, you're the only
one who can lead us to Feng.
159
00:10:50,584 --> 00:10:51,761
I've been authorized
to offer you
160
00:10:51,785 --> 00:10:54,219
anything in the government's
power if you help us out.
161
00:10:54,288 --> 00:10:58,190
You don't get it, do you, man?
I don't compete anymore!
162
00:10:58,258 --> 00:10:59,589
Okay?
163
00:10:59,660 --> 00:11:01,685
Maybe I never should have.
164
00:11:15,809 --> 00:11:17,037
Caucasians.
165
00:11:17,778 --> 00:11:21,544
Hey, Dad. I'm sorry I haven't
been around in awhile.
166
00:11:23,250 --> 00:11:27,414
And again, I'm sorry about abbreviating
your dates on the headstone.
167
00:11:28,589 --> 00:11:33,288
The numbers were, like, 100 bucks a
pop, and apostrophes were free so...
168
00:11:46,006 --> 00:11:47,473
Excuse me?
169
00:11:47,541 --> 00:11:49,031
Excuse me!
170
00:11:49,643 --> 00:11:51,907
The new slide's
a little close, isn't it?
171
00:11:51,979 --> 00:11:56,109
What are you gonna do? They sold
the air rights to the cemetery.
172
00:11:56,183 --> 00:11:58,674
They sold the air rights
to a cemetery?
173
00:11:58,752 --> 00:12:02,279
It's a pretty okay water slide, though.
It's called Eerie Canals.
174
00:12:02,356 --> 00:12:07,350
I guess it's a theme
that it's haunted. Something.
175
00:12:07,427 --> 00:12:08,724
Look out!
176
00:12:14,768 --> 00:12:16,565
All right. I'm in.
177
00:12:56,443 --> 00:12:57,808
I love that smell.
178
00:12:57,878 --> 00:12:59,971
Good to be back
on the circuit again, huh?
179
00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:04,276
I meant pancakes.
180
00:13:04,351 --> 00:13:06,410
I love the smell of pancakes.
181
00:13:06,520 --> 00:13:07,730
Okay, you're not here
to have fun.
182
00:13:07,754 --> 00:13:09,799
All right? You're here to win.
Get your head in the game.
183
00:13:09,823 --> 00:13:11,501
What, do you think Feng
is gonna have scouts here?
184
00:13:11,525 --> 00:13:13,618
No, but you got to win here
to get to State.
185
00:13:13,694 --> 00:13:15,753
You are gonna win, right?
186
00:13:15,829 --> 00:13:17,956
I can take these punks.
187
00:13:18,031 --> 00:13:20,966
All right, first up
we have Andy...
188
00:13:22,402 --> 00:13:24,893
Randy Daytona
189
00:13:25,005 --> 00:13:29,738
versus our four-time
Western Conference Champion,
190
00:13:29,810 --> 00:13:31,744
The Hammer.
191
00:13:58,438 --> 00:13:59,949
I don't know what the hell
he's talking about.
192
00:13:59,973 --> 00:14:02,305
I'm still trying to figure out
if it's a dude or a chick.
193
00:14:15,789 --> 00:14:17,416
No mercy, Randy.
194
00:14:40,147 --> 00:14:42,775
Have your grandma
pull the car around.
195
00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:59,695
Can you dig it?
196
00:15:07,908 --> 00:15:09,842
Tastes good.
197
00:15:13,980 --> 00:15:15,379
11 to 3!
198
00:15:16,683 --> 00:15:19,151
I told you I was rusty. I
haven't competed in 19 years.
199
00:15:19,219 --> 00:15:21,312
Why don't you cut me
some slack, man?
200
00:15:21,388 --> 00:15:22,878
I need some time to warm up.
201
00:15:22,956 --> 00:15:26,289
Time we don't have. Feng's
tournament's in two weeks.
202
00:15:26,359 --> 00:15:28,657
Man, I got to get you in shape.
203
00:15:33,767 --> 00:15:35,132
We're here.
204
00:15:35,769 --> 00:15:39,500
The world's greatest Ping-Pong
instructor owns a takeout restaurant?
205
00:15:39,573 --> 00:15:41,973
Don't hate.
The school's upstairs.
206
00:15:44,978 --> 00:15:47,947
This guy's blind,
so let me do the talking.
207
00:15:48,014 --> 00:15:50,244
Wong won't train just anybody.
208
00:15:50,884 --> 00:15:52,749
And he never trains gweilo.
209
00:15:52,819 --> 00:15:54,514
Who?
Gweilo.
210
00:15:54,588 --> 00:15:57,648
It means "round eye."
Gringo. You, man.
211
00:15:57,724 --> 00:15:59,817
He only takes Chinese students.
212
00:16:03,163 --> 00:16:04,494
Damn, bro.
213
00:16:05,232 --> 00:16:06,392
Hey...
214
00:16:12,672 --> 00:16:13,798
You okay, dude?
215
00:16:13,874 --> 00:16:15,136
Get out!
216
00:16:15,208 --> 00:16:17,403
Get out.
I don't teach gweilo.
217
00:16:18,645 --> 00:16:21,113
How did you know that
we were gweilo?
218
00:16:21,181 --> 00:16:25,777
Same way that I can tell
you are 30 years old.
219
00:16:25,852 --> 00:16:27,513
Too old to start training.
220
00:16:29,055 --> 00:16:30,113
Pudgy.
221
00:16:30,190 --> 00:16:32,488
You are filled with self-doubt.
222
00:16:34,494 --> 00:16:36,689
And you use Lady Speed Stick.
223
00:16:39,833 --> 00:16:41,357
It was on sale.
224
00:16:46,339 --> 00:16:48,569
Feng was my most gifted pupil.
225
00:16:49,976 --> 00:16:53,412
He played table tennis like
the devil in short shorts.
226
00:16:54,247 --> 00:16:56,272
But he had expensive taste.
227
00:16:57,617 --> 00:16:59,585
He began to steal and extort.
228
00:16:59,653 --> 00:17:03,350
Turning my school of table
tennis into a den of thieves.
229
00:17:04,658 --> 00:17:07,923
And when I cast him out,
he joined the Triad.
230
00:17:07,994 --> 00:17:10,326
He lured my brother Le Ping
in with him.
231
00:17:10,397 --> 00:17:13,560
And when Le Ping tried
to go straight, he killed him.
232
00:17:13,633 --> 00:17:16,431
Le Ping's daughter
was left fatherless.
233
00:17:16,503 --> 00:17:19,233
If you help Randy and me
get to Feng's, we'll nail him.
234
00:17:19,306 --> 00:17:20,773
I give you my word.
235
00:17:22,876 --> 00:17:25,709
I will help you,
secret agent man.
236
00:17:25,779 --> 00:17:28,475
You will start training
tomorrow, Randy.
237
00:17:28,548 --> 00:17:32,075
Bring only your strength, your
honor and a check for $300.
238
00:17:32,152 --> 00:17:34,245
Hey, secret agent man.
239
00:17:34,321 --> 00:17:36,721
I tell you something
right now, the truth.
240
00:17:36,790 --> 00:17:40,851
Your boy will not pull it off.
We need a natural.
241
00:17:40,927 --> 00:17:43,760
Something I can work with.
You know what I mean.
242
00:17:51,604 --> 00:17:53,333
Dude!
What?
243
00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:54,896
What did I miss?
244
00:17:59,579 --> 00:18:04,243
Well, if it isn't
the infamous Randy Daytona.
245
00:18:04,317 --> 00:18:08,014
How was Disneyland?
Did you meet Dumbo?
246
00:18:08,088 --> 00:18:10,420
Is it always this crowded?
247
00:18:10,490 --> 00:18:12,651
Only when I'm not teaching.
248
00:18:16,029 --> 00:18:19,055
That's my niece,
Maggie Wong Mei Fei.
249
00:18:20,934 --> 00:18:23,869
She brings her father,
Le Ping, great honor.
250
00:18:29,309 --> 00:18:31,709
Wong's Mu Shu Palace,
how can I help you?
251
00:18:39,352 --> 00:18:41,192
She will be the one
who will be giving you
252
00:18:41,254 --> 00:18:43,313
hands-on training.
253
00:18:43,390 --> 00:18:45,915
Gives "wax off"
a whole new meaning.
254
00:18:48,962 --> 00:18:53,558
Rule one, gweilo.
No touching my niece.
255
00:18:53,633 --> 00:18:54,633
Understand?
256
00:18:54,701 --> 00:18:56,100
Yeah, I understand.
257
00:19:14,254 --> 00:19:15,346
What?
258
00:19:46,486 --> 00:19:48,113
Table jockey.
259
00:19:48,188 --> 00:19:50,068
Let them work it out, man.
Let them work it out.
260
00:20:16,182 --> 00:20:17,649
What does she weigh?
Like, 40 pounds?
261
00:20:26,392 --> 00:20:28,032
Come on, man.
They're gonna kick your ass!
262
00:20:35,568 --> 00:20:37,365
Who wants to... Oh.
263
00:20:47,814 --> 00:20:48,872
Maggie!
264
00:20:48,948 --> 00:20:52,645
Your temper brings dishonor
to my Happy Mu Shu Palace.
265
00:20:56,923 --> 00:20:58,220
You'll be sorry, Wong!
266
00:20:58,291 --> 00:21:01,852
And teaching gweilo
is forbidden. You know that!
267
00:21:01,928 --> 00:21:03,555
I'll tell the elders.
268
00:21:03,630 --> 00:21:06,997
You will have
to face the Dragon.
269
00:21:09,102 --> 00:21:12,094
Let me tell you
what you can tell the Dragon.
270
00:21:29,022 --> 00:21:31,820
Now, gweilo, we begin.
271
00:21:33,493 --> 00:21:37,122
Ping-Pong is not the Macarena.
272
00:21:38,665 --> 00:21:41,133
It takes patience.
273
00:21:41,201 --> 00:21:45,570
She is like a fine,
well-aged prostitute.
274
00:21:45,638 --> 00:21:49,039
It takes years
to learn her tricks.
275
00:21:53,279 --> 00:21:55,270
She is cruel.
276
00:21:55,348 --> 00:21:57,509
Laughs at you
when you are naked.
277
00:21:59,185 --> 00:22:02,621
But you keep coming back
for more and more.
278
00:22:02,689 --> 00:22:03,883
Why?
279
00:22:03,957 --> 00:22:07,256
Because she is the
only prostitute I can afford.
280
00:22:08,962 --> 00:22:11,396
Gweilo, give me your paddle.
281
00:22:11,464 --> 00:22:13,159
Here.
282
00:22:13,233 --> 00:22:18,933
Now, for the time being,
you will practice with this.
283
00:22:20,273 --> 00:22:21,865
What, are you crazy?
284
00:22:21,941 --> 00:22:24,774
It's impossible, man.
Nobody can do that.
285
00:22:26,246 --> 00:22:27,975
That was nice.
286
00:22:28,047 --> 00:22:29,275
All right.
287
00:22:31,985 --> 00:22:33,213
Come on.
288
00:22:35,622 --> 00:22:37,112
One more time.
289
00:22:43,296 --> 00:22:44,524
Come on.
290
00:22:54,073 --> 00:22:55,199
Do I have to eat that?
291
00:22:55,275 --> 00:22:58,711
To strengthen the body
and not the mind
292
00:22:58,811 --> 00:23:01,609
is to build a temple
on shifting sand.
293
00:23:03,249 --> 00:23:05,877
In my hand I hold a cricket.
294
00:23:08,321 --> 00:23:11,290
What'd you do that for? Don't
take the cricket from my hand.
295
00:23:11,357 --> 00:23:13,848
Who the hell said, "Take
the cricket from my hand"?
296
00:23:13,926 --> 00:23:15,826
I just...
Put it back.
297
00:23:17,230 --> 00:23:20,165
That is my lucky cricket.
298
00:23:22,468 --> 00:23:23,492
Oh.
299
00:23:24,837 --> 00:23:28,534
Well, he just...
He flew out of my hand, man.
300
00:23:30,009 --> 00:23:31,442
You squished him?
301
00:23:31,511 --> 00:23:32,876
No.
302
00:23:32,945 --> 00:23:34,310
You squished lucky cricket?
303
00:23:34,380 --> 00:23:35,380
No.
304
00:23:37,917 --> 00:23:39,714
Thanks a lot, kid!
305
00:23:43,589 --> 00:23:49,289
So, Maggie, what do you
do when you're not here?
306
00:23:49,362 --> 00:23:52,126
So sorry, don't speak English.
307
00:23:55,568 --> 00:23:59,334
But didn't I hear you speak
English on the phone yesterday?
308
00:23:59,405 --> 00:24:02,966
No, you must be mistaken, because
I don't speak any English.
309
00:24:03,042 --> 00:24:04,839
I'm just trying
to get better acquainted.
310
00:24:04,911 --> 00:24:07,846
I know what you're trying
to get, table jockey.
311
00:24:07,914 --> 00:24:09,892
For as long as I can remember,
guys have been in here
312
00:24:09,916 --> 00:24:12,908
with their hands all over me,
with your stupid come-ons.
313
00:24:12,985 --> 00:24:15,249
"Give me a hand
with my balls, Maggie."
314
00:24:15,321 --> 00:24:16,515
Let me guess.
315
00:24:16,589 --> 00:24:19,956
You're not around girls much or you
probably wouldn't play Ping-Pong, right?
316
00:24:20,026 --> 00:24:22,066
Yeah, well, I thought that
your dad played Ping-Pong.
317
00:24:22,095 --> 00:24:26,122
Do not compare yourself to my father.
My father was a great man.
318
00:24:26,199 --> 00:24:27,894
I'm not. It's just a game.
319
00:24:27,967 --> 00:24:29,901
It's not just a game!
320
00:24:29,969 --> 00:24:33,666
It is a proud tradition my family
have devoted their lives to!
321
00:24:33,740 --> 00:24:35,571
You treat that tradition
like a joke.
322
00:24:35,641 --> 00:24:39,236
Uncle says you have no honor.
I say you have no shot.
323
00:24:39,312 --> 00:24:42,247
So turn off the charm,
table jockey.
324
00:24:47,820 --> 00:24:49,048
Oh, God.
325
00:24:50,690 --> 00:24:53,488
You need to build
wrist strength.
326
00:24:53,559 --> 00:24:56,585
Eye-hand coordination.
327
00:24:56,662 --> 00:24:58,061
Endurance.
328
00:25:00,633 --> 00:25:02,658
Oh, come on!
329
00:25:02,735 --> 00:25:06,967
You got me hitting balls with spoons.
I'm swatting flies, now?
330
00:25:07,039 --> 00:25:10,008
You not hit flies.
You hit bees.
331
00:25:10,576 --> 00:25:11,668
What?
332
00:25:13,312 --> 00:25:14,643
Come on!
333
00:25:16,949 --> 00:25:18,177
Oh, shit!
334
00:25:21,354 --> 00:25:22,821
Oh, shit!
335
00:25:30,830 --> 00:25:33,594
You are halfway
through your training.
336
00:25:33,666 --> 00:25:35,861
Now comes the difficult part.
337
00:25:36,502 --> 00:25:37,992
The backhand.
338
00:25:50,950 --> 00:25:54,750
You must believe in yourself
when no one else does.
339
00:25:56,088 --> 00:25:58,283
Like right now, for instance.
340
00:26:02,495 --> 00:26:03,587
What?
341
00:26:04,864 --> 00:26:07,094
What do you mean I hit the net?
342
00:26:07,633 --> 00:26:08,759
Dad!
343
00:26:09,635 --> 00:26:11,125
Freeze!
344
00:26:11,671 --> 00:26:13,332
Hands on your head!
345
00:26:17,076 --> 00:26:20,512
Oh, that's right, man.
I'm in Chinatown.
346
00:26:20,580 --> 00:26:22,343
I'm sorry, man.
347
00:26:24,183 --> 00:26:27,016
Want to pop off a couple of rounds?
Always makes me feel better.
348
00:26:27,086 --> 00:26:28,576
Listen to me.
349
00:26:28,654 --> 00:26:31,987
Are you a real,
fully-licensed FBI guy?
350
00:26:32,058 --> 00:26:34,652
I'm serious, man.
I mean, why...
351
00:26:34,727 --> 00:26:39,187
You know, why would a real FBI
guy take on a mission like this?
352
00:26:39,265 --> 00:26:42,530
Nobody else would be caught
dead on Operation Ping-Pong.
353
00:26:42,602 --> 00:26:45,730
All right, they don't expect
us to catch Feng.
354
00:26:45,805 --> 00:26:47,932
They got 20 agents
working other angles, man.
355
00:26:48,007 --> 00:26:49,770
I'm the backup plan.
356
00:26:53,513 --> 00:26:55,674
Look, I joined the company
for action, man.
357
00:26:55,748 --> 00:26:58,945
You know, car chases,
hang-gliding, James Bond stuff.
358
00:26:59,018 --> 00:27:01,919
Drinking martinis,
saving girls from danger.
359
00:27:03,222 --> 00:27:04,985
I haven't gotten
to wear a tuxedo
360
00:27:05,057 --> 00:27:07,719
since my goddaughter Martha's
quinceañera, man.
361
00:27:07,793 --> 00:27:11,160
For the last five years,
I've been at a desk, typing.
362
00:27:13,266 --> 00:27:15,393
I'm up to 70 words a minute.
363
00:27:18,004 --> 00:27:19,164
Hello.
364
00:27:20,206 --> 00:27:21,639
Maggie, is that you?
365
00:27:21,707 --> 00:27:23,038
Slow down.
366
00:27:23,776 --> 00:27:24,970
Slow down in English.
367
00:27:42,295 --> 00:27:43,785
What happened?
368
00:27:46,866 --> 00:27:49,096
"Teaching outsiders
is forbidden."
369
00:27:49,168 --> 00:27:51,728
We've defied the elders,
now they're shutting us down.
370
00:27:51,804 --> 00:27:55,296
They have forbidden me to
teach in Chinatown, forever.
371
00:27:55,374 --> 00:27:57,842
Well, don't worry. The FBI's
gonna find out who did this.
372
00:27:57,910 --> 00:28:00,674
We know who did it.
It is written right there.
373
00:28:03,449 --> 00:28:06,009
No, no, no, no. No FBI.
374
00:28:06,085 --> 00:28:08,519
We will settle this
in our own way.
375
00:28:10,456 --> 00:28:14,825
Gweilo, only
you can restore our honor.
376
00:28:14,894 --> 00:28:16,828
You must go to the elders.
377
00:28:16,896 --> 00:28:18,989
You must face the Dragon.
378
00:28:19,065 --> 00:28:20,623
Okay, well, time out.
379
00:28:20,700 --> 00:28:23,498
We don't have time for some
ancient Chinese pissing contest.
380
00:28:23,569 --> 00:28:25,230
Feng's match is coming up.
381
00:28:25,304 --> 00:28:27,966
And if we want Feng's scouts to
see Randy win some trophies,
382
00:28:28,040 --> 00:28:30,736
we got to get him out
to some tournaments.
383
00:28:30,810 --> 00:28:32,243
Foolish secret agent man.
384
00:28:32,311 --> 00:28:34,871
Real Ping-Pong
is not played for trophies.
385
00:28:34,947 --> 00:28:38,940
It is played in the shadows,
in dark alleys and backrooms
386
00:28:39,018 --> 00:28:42,647
for hard cash
and cheap, ugly women.
387
00:28:43,656 --> 00:28:48,252
If gweilo beats the Dragon,
it will reach Feng's ears,
388
00:28:48,327 --> 00:28:49,794
I assure you.
389
00:28:58,838 --> 00:29:02,797
We're here.
The lair of the Dragon.
390
00:29:02,875 --> 00:29:04,536
From here we go alone.
391
00:29:08,848 --> 00:29:09,974
Good luck, kid.
392
00:29:10,049 --> 00:29:11,482
Thanks, man.
393
00:29:20,826 --> 00:29:21,826
Randy, wait.
394
00:29:21,894 --> 00:29:23,225
Yeah?
395
00:29:23,295 --> 00:29:25,627
I want you to have this.
396
00:29:25,698 --> 00:29:26,698
It belonged to my father.
397
00:29:26,766 --> 00:29:28,028
Whoa.
398
00:29:30,670 --> 00:29:32,695
Maggie, I can't take this.
399
00:29:33,673 --> 00:29:35,470
He'd have wanted you to have it.
400
00:29:35,541 --> 00:29:37,566
Take it, you are ready.
401
00:29:37,643 --> 00:29:39,838
It has defeated many enemies.
402
00:29:41,747 --> 00:29:43,908
Good luck, Randy.
403
00:29:43,983 --> 00:29:45,177
Thanks.
404
00:29:50,022 --> 00:29:51,319
Come, gweilo.
405
00:29:51,390 --> 00:29:56,293
The Dragon is the most feared table
tennis player in all Chinatown.
406
00:30:17,416 --> 00:30:20,044
Welcome to the underbelly
of Ping-Pong.
407
00:30:20,119 --> 00:30:23,350
Where fortunes are won and lost.
408
00:30:23,422 --> 00:30:27,290
I'm exaggerating, of course,
but you get my point.
409
00:30:27,359 --> 00:30:29,554
People bet on Ping-Pong here.
410
00:30:34,500 --> 00:30:36,525
So you think you're good,
huh, gweilo?
411
00:30:36,602 --> 00:30:38,832
Well, put money where mouth is.
412
00:30:41,841 --> 00:30:44,309
$4. No pay, no play.
413
00:30:45,478 --> 00:30:47,969
Got change for $5?
That's all I got.
414
00:31:11,036 --> 00:31:12,663
This guy doesn't seem
so tough to me.
415
00:31:12,738 --> 00:31:14,603
That is not the Dragon.
416
00:31:17,843 --> 00:31:20,038
That is the Dragon.
417
00:31:34,260 --> 00:31:35,454
Gweilo,
418
00:31:36,228 --> 00:31:39,561
remember, you suck
when you are nervous.
419
00:31:41,400 --> 00:31:42,924
Thanks, Master.
420
00:31:50,609 --> 00:31:53,510
First player to lead by 3, wins.
421
00:31:53,579 --> 00:31:55,240
Gweilo loses,
422
00:31:55,314 --> 00:31:59,546
Wong and his descendants are
banished from Chinatown forever.
423
00:31:59,618 --> 00:32:02,246
And by extension,
all of Orange County.
424
00:32:08,327 --> 00:32:12,058
Dragon says,
"This serve, no can defend."
425
00:32:12,131 --> 00:32:15,498
No one has hit it back
in five years of table tennis.
426
00:32:31,450 --> 00:32:34,476
She say, "No fair.
She wasn't ready."
427
00:32:34,553 --> 00:32:37,852
She say, "That wasn't real
no can defend serve.
428
00:32:37,923 --> 00:32:41,620
"This next one,
this, no can defend."
429
00:32:44,730 --> 00:32:46,254
"So watch out."
430
00:33:00,112 --> 00:33:01,636
She say,
431
00:33:01,714 --> 00:33:05,548
"Maybe we need to take a break.
Get some fresh air. Cool off."
432
00:33:31,043 --> 00:33:32,408
Yes!
433
00:33:33,212 --> 00:33:34,679
I said, "Yes!"
434
00:33:36,548 --> 00:33:38,573
That is right!
435
00:33:39,685 --> 00:33:41,050
Am I right?
436
00:33:41,320 --> 00:33:43,151
Just say, "Yes."
437
00:33:43,222 --> 00:33:44,314
Fine!
438
00:33:50,863 --> 00:33:52,194
Oh, jeez.
439
00:33:54,466 --> 00:33:56,195
Come on, little kid.
440
00:33:56,835 --> 00:34:00,271
Don't be so hard on yourself,
you know. You got mad skills.
441
00:34:11,717 --> 00:34:14,049
I warn you guys, I know tai chi.
442
00:34:36,375 --> 00:34:37,672
Here's your money.
443
00:34:40,079 --> 00:34:42,604
Unfortunately,
it's covered in snot.
444
00:34:46,685 --> 00:34:48,880
I knew you could do it, man!
445
00:34:48,954 --> 00:34:50,444
He won, right?
446
00:34:54,259 --> 00:34:55,749
What the hell?
447
00:35:11,810 --> 00:35:13,209
Mr. Daytona.
448
00:35:14,680 --> 00:35:18,582
Your balls have been tempered
in the fury of hell's Dragon.
449
00:35:24,857 --> 00:35:26,620
Wow!
450
00:35:26,692 --> 00:35:30,856
My master, Mr. Feng, would be honored
to have you at his tournament.
451
00:35:45,310 --> 00:35:49,212
Which way is the freeway? I seem
to have gotten turned around.
452
00:35:49,314 --> 00:35:50,713
Oh, yeah.
453
00:35:56,688 --> 00:35:57,882
I knew that.
454
00:35:57,956 --> 00:35:58,956
Yeah.
455
00:36:00,359 --> 00:36:03,328
Mr. Daytona, we'll see you
at the tournament.
456
00:36:08,767 --> 00:36:11,065
What?
What am I missing?
457
00:36:11,136 --> 00:36:13,331
Oh, we got the golden paddle.
458
00:36:15,307 --> 00:36:19,801
As you can see, the paddle
contains a riddle in Chinese.
459
00:36:30,222 --> 00:36:33,749
"On the longest day, two
hands reach towards heaven.
460
00:36:33,826 --> 00:36:35,726
"We enter the clouds."
461
00:36:36,962 --> 00:36:38,759
Of course.
462
00:36:38,831 --> 00:36:40,924
When both hands reach up
on what?
463
00:36:40,999 --> 00:36:43,058
A clock. That's noon.
464
00:36:43,135 --> 00:36:45,865
Longest day.
Wednesday, nine letters.
465
00:36:45,938 --> 00:36:48,099
We enter the clouds,
that's got to be an airfield.
466
00:36:48,173 --> 00:36:50,971
Yeah, but which airfield? There are
a dozen in Orange County alone.
467
00:36:51,043 --> 00:36:53,705
John Wayne Airport, maybe. They
got a private hangar there
468
00:36:53,779 --> 00:36:57,738
owned by a Japanese corporation
goes by the name of Haiku Cargo.
469
00:36:58,584 --> 00:36:59,846
Check this out.
470
00:36:59,918 --> 00:37:03,285
On the longest day. Yeah. It's 5-7-5.
That's a haiku.
471
00:37:04,389 --> 00:37:05,651
That's impressive.
Yeah.
472
00:37:05,724 --> 00:37:07,435
It's on the back of
the paddle here in English.
473
00:37:07,459 --> 00:37:08,892
Noon, Wednesday,
John Wayne Airport.
474
00:37:08,961 --> 00:37:11,555
Each player can bring a coach,
a doctor, two carry-ons.
475
00:37:11,630 --> 00:37:13,723
Goose, run them through
the hardware they'll need.
476
00:37:13,799 --> 00:37:15,460
I have stripped
everything down for you.
477
00:37:15,534 --> 00:37:18,298
This is your homing device,
this is the transmitter.
478
00:37:18,370 --> 00:37:21,999
So you just plant it, flip the
switch and backup's on its way.
479
00:37:22,074 --> 00:37:24,099
Don't screw this up, Rodriguez.
480
00:37:24,176 --> 00:37:27,873
Do not signal unless you have
proof of what Feng is up to.
481
00:37:27,946 --> 00:37:30,676
We don't want theories.
We want him caught red-handed,
482
00:37:30,749 --> 00:37:32,842
with hard evidence, so we
can put him away for good.
483
00:37:32,918 --> 00:37:33,942
Yes, sir.
484
00:37:34,019 --> 00:37:35,418
So let me guess, fellows.
485
00:37:35,487 --> 00:37:37,682
We're gonna stick this
in the heel of our shoe,
486
00:37:37,756 --> 00:37:40,657
put it in a tube of toothpaste,
something like that?
487
00:37:40,726 --> 00:37:43,786
I think we'll have to sneak
this in the old-fashioned way.
488
00:37:43,862 --> 00:37:46,057
What's the old-fashioned way?
489
00:38:12,591 --> 00:38:14,081
God, slow down.
490
00:38:14,159 --> 00:38:16,184
We should go alone from here.
491
00:38:16,261 --> 00:38:19,753
Good luck, secret agent man.
Take care of Uncle, okay?
492
00:38:19,831 --> 00:38:22,129
Uncle can take care of himself.
493
00:38:23,135 --> 00:38:24,363
Oh, man.
494
00:38:26,672 --> 00:38:29,163
What's the stick for, man?
Come on.
495
00:38:35,047 --> 00:38:36,571
Okay.
496
00:38:36,648 --> 00:38:41,608
Never hug a man with a million bucks
worth of hardware up his crack.
497
00:38:41,687 --> 00:38:43,348
Sorry.
It's okay.
498
00:38:45,190 --> 00:38:47,420
Go ahead and kiss her already!
499
00:38:49,228 --> 00:38:50,752
So embarrass...
500
00:39:01,306 --> 00:39:03,035
Come back, gweilo.
501
00:39:20,092 --> 00:39:21,150
Bye.
502
00:39:29,835 --> 00:39:31,302
Nice plane.
503
00:39:33,005 --> 00:39:34,597
Team Daytona.
504
00:39:36,908 --> 00:39:38,671
This way, gentlemen.
505
00:39:47,819 --> 00:39:51,118
Oh, you got to be kidding me.
Where we going, Tijuana?
506
00:41:13,205 --> 00:41:16,504
It is with great honor
that I present your host.
507
00:41:18,143 --> 00:41:21,044
The man
who sold the Dragon his fire,
508
00:41:21,113 --> 00:41:23,513
stole it back,
509
00:41:23,582 --> 00:41:25,482
and sold it again to the Crips.
510
00:41:25,550 --> 00:41:27,643
Give it up for Master Feng.
511
00:41:49,074 --> 00:41:50,701
How's my collar?
512
00:41:55,013 --> 00:41:56,844
Man, we were
way off George Takei.
513
00:42:03,955 --> 00:42:05,422
Okie-dokie artichokie.
514
00:42:05,490 --> 00:42:08,823
First of all, I know getting
here was the commute from hell.
515
00:42:08,894 --> 00:42:12,295
I have to be a smidge
off the beaten track here.
516
00:42:12,364 --> 00:42:17,996
Now, Ping-Pong,
or, as the Chinese say,
517
00:42:18,069 --> 00:42:19,161
"Ping-Pong,"
518
00:42:19,237 --> 00:42:23,799
sport of emperors
and bandits alike.
519
00:42:23,875 --> 00:42:27,902
I have assembled today, for
your entertainment pleasure,
520
00:42:27,979 --> 00:42:32,712
the most talented table tennis
athletes from around the globe.
521
00:42:32,784 --> 00:42:35,309
Legends, every one.
522
00:42:35,387 --> 00:42:37,855
We have last year's
North American champion
523
00:42:37,923 --> 00:42:40,551
and holder of the Canadian cup,
524
00:42:40,625 --> 00:42:42,923
Mr. Freddy "Fingers" Wilson.
525
00:42:45,864 --> 00:42:47,126
Represent.
526
00:42:47,199 --> 00:42:51,295
Four-time Australian champion,
Mr. Wedge McDonald!
527
00:42:55,907 --> 00:42:57,067
Cutie.
528
00:42:58,009 --> 00:43:02,776
From Japan,
Mr. Yukito Nagasaki!
529
00:43:06,785 --> 00:43:10,721
My personal odds-on favorite
from the '88 games,
530
00:43:10,789 --> 00:43:15,192
possibly the greatest player
ever to emerge from the West.
531
00:43:15,660 --> 00:43:19,426
He came out of retirement to be here,
and it's an honor to have him.
532
00:43:19,498 --> 00:43:23,958
He's back and he's bad, the one
and only Karl Wolfschtagg!
533
00:43:24,769 --> 00:43:26,031
Yeah!
534
00:43:27,873 --> 00:43:30,467
So, we meet again.
535
00:43:33,578 --> 00:43:36,376
The years have not been
kind to you.
536
00:43:36,448 --> 00:43:38,279
I will not be either.
537
00:43:38,350 --> 00:43:41,877
We have champions from
every continent so, please,
538
00:43:41,953 --> 00:43:43,978
everyone, wear a nametag.
539
00:43:49,828 --> 00:43:54,390
And now, eat, drink, enjoy.
540
00:43:59,304 --> 00:44:00,828
My goodness!
541
00:44:00,906 --> 00:44:03,101
What a blast from the past!
542
00:44:05,944 --> 00:44:08,105
If it isn't my old master.
543
00:44:09,881 --> 00:44:11,576
Wong.
544
00:44:11,650 --> 00:44:14,448
You old horn dog.
How's tricks?
545
00:44:16,688 --> 00:44:22,092
I've waited many years to
meet you again, face to face.
546
00:44:24,529 --> 00:44:26,224
Oh, thank you.
547
00:44:26,298 --> 00:44:31,702
Tell me, Randy, does he still dress as
if he shops at Elton John's garage sale?
548
00:44:31,770 --> 00:44:34,170
So, Randy Daytona.
549
00:44:34,239 --> 00:44:37,572
The golden boy who couldn't even bronze.
You're Wong's new protégé.
550
00:44:37,642 --> 00:44:41,840
Well, FYI,
551
00:44:41,913 --> 00:44:44,473
Wong always said
I was his greatest pupil.
552
00:44:44,549 --> 00:44:48,383
I said you could have been great, but
you never finished your training.
553
00:44:48,453 --> 00:44:52,253
As I recall, you kicked me out.
554
00:44:52,324 --> 00:44:56,283
But you did teach me
one thing, Master.
555
00:44:56,361 --> 00:44:57,623
Promptness.
556
00:44:57,696 --> 00:45:00,529
And you were 15 minutes late
to the banquet.
557
00:45:00,599 --> 00:45:02,089
Soup got cold.
558
00:45:15,847 --> 00:45:18,042
Oh, Feng!
559
00:45:25,457 --> 00:45:27,652
Don't let it happen again.
560
00:45:29,828 --> 00:45:32,092
Gentlemen. Athletes.
561
00:45:32,764 --> 00:45:34,493
I bid you toodles.
562
00:45:50,482 --> 00:45:55,852
May I invite you to select from one of Mr.
Feng's courtesans of pleasure.
563
00:45:55,920 --> 00:45:57,512
Like sex slaves?
564
00:46:01,693 --> 00:46:02,887
No.
565
00:46:04,295 --> 00:46:06,354
No, I couldn't do that.
566
00:46:08,233 --> 00:46:10,326
No, I couldn't. I couldn't.
567
00:46:13,071 --> 00:46:14,299
No, no.
568
00:46:14,372 --> 00:46:16,840
I got this girlfriend back home.
569
00:46:16,908 --> 00:46:20,344
I mean, she's not
my girlfriend. "Yet."
570
00:46:20,412 --> 00:46:22,403
Mr. Feng has gone
to great lengths
571
00:46:22,480 --> 00:46:25,916
to select the most beautiful
courtesans from around the world.
572
00:46:25,984 --> 00:46:30,444
They are fully versed in both the
sensual and the erotic arts.
573
00:46:31,222 --> 00:46:33,918
Well, I mean,
I don't want to be rude.
574
00:46:48,873 --> 00:46:50,204
What's up?
575
00:46:52,210 --> 00:46:54,440
These are...
These are all...
576
00:46:54,512 --> 00:46:56,503
These guys, these are dudes.
577
00:46:56,581 --> 00:47:01,348
They are fully prepared to satisfy
each and every one of your desires.
578
00:47:01,419 --> 00:47:07,255
Well, my desires are pretty much
all satisfied up, right now.
579
00:47:08,259 --> 00:47:09,726
So, I'm good.
580
00:47:09,794 --> 00:47:11,762
You must choose one.
581
00:47:14,399 --> 00:47:16,959
Look, tell Feng
they are all so great...
582
00:47:17,035 --> 00:47:18,866
Fine. I'll pick.
583
00:47:18,937 --> 00:47:20,029
Gary.
Yo!
584
00:47:20,105 --> 00:47:21,129
Feeling good?
Oh, yeah.
585
00:47:21,206 --> 00:47:23,265
Hop to it.
The rest of you, get out.
586
00:47:23,341 --> 00:47:24,569
That...
587
00:47:28,079 --> 00:47:29,290
Can I talk to you for a second?
588
00:47:29,314 --> 00:47:31,805
Sweet dreams, Mr. Daytona.
589
00:47:43,061 --> 00:47:46,030
I got a huge day tomorrow.
Big day.
590
00:47:46,097 --> 00:47:47,325
Can you...
591
00:47:47,398 --> 00:47:48,422
No can do.
592
00:47:48,500 --> 00:47:51,663
Look, if I don't spend
the night in here, it's...
593
00:47:53,438 --> 00:47:54,438
Are you kidding me?
594
00:47:54,506 --> 00:47:55,506
No, I'm not kidding.
595
00:47:55,573 --> 00:47:58,007
If I had known
I'd end up as a sex slave,
596
00:47:58,076 --> 00:48:00,977
I never would've gone
to that audition in Orlando.
597
00:48:01,045 --> 00:48:02,590
I thought I was gonna be doing
cruise ship shows.
598
00:48:02,614 --> 00:48:05,640
Next thing I know, boom.
Sex slave.
599
00:48:05,717 --> 00:48:07,878
Always read
the fine print, amigo.
600
00:48:07,952 --> 00:48:10,819
Hey, you want a brew?
I sure could use one.
601
00:48:11,823 --> 00:48:13,484
Yeah.
Yeah. Cool.
602
00:48:16,060 --> 00:48:17,721
Here you go, dude.
603
00:48:30,175 --> 00:48:31,369
So... So.
604
00:48:34,579 --> 00:48:36,056
Board game?
You want to play a board game?
605
00:48:36,080 --> 00:48:37,877
Yes, play a board game.
Okay, cool.
606
00:48:40,919 --> 00:48:42,443
Whoa, you got Boggle, huh?
607
00:48:42,520 --> 00:48:45,080
That sounds like
a challenge to me.
608
00:48:45,156 --> 00:48:47,249
Yeah, okay, sure.
609
00:48:49,594 --> 00:48:50,959
All right.
610
00:48:52,864 --> 00:48:55,424
Sounds like somebody's
getting lucky.
611
00:49:01,606 --> 00:49:05,702
Oh, no, no, dude. I want a rematch.
Best out of seven!
612
00:49:05,777 --> 00:49:08,974
You can not defeat me.
I am the Boggle master.
613
00:49:09,714 --> 00:49:12,410
Kick some ass out there.
Kick some ass, all right?
614
00:49:12,483 --> 00:49:13,661
All right. Thanks, man.
Appreciate it.
615
00:49:13,685 --> 00:49:15,152
Be careful. Okay?
616
00:49:15,220 --> 00:49:17,085
All we did was play Boggle.
617
00:49:17,155 --> 00:49:19,646
Hey, how you doing, Master?
Good morning.
618
00:49:19,724 --> 00:49:21,692
Oh, gweilo.
619
00:49:21,759 --> 00:49:24,227
Have you tried
these pleasure girls?
620
00:49:24,295 --> 00:49:27,560
My girl, she really knows
how to handle a man.
621
00:49:27,632 --> 00:49:28,894
Oh, boy!
622
00:49:30,902 --> 00:49:34,338
What the hell is up with these
courtesans of pleasure?
623
00:49:35,106 --> 00:49:37,802
Master had a fantastic time
last night.
624
00:49:39,244 --> 00:49:41,109
Oh, man.
625
00:49:41,179 --> 00:49:42,203
Yeah.
626
00:49:42,280 --> 00:49:43,770
Did you find anything?
627
00:49:43,848 --> 00:49:45,748
They got this place
locked down pretty tight,
628
00:49:45,817 --> 00:49:47,250
but I'm gonna
snoop around today.
629
00:49:47,318 --> 00:49:48,342
Okay.
630
00:50:02,166 --> 00:50:03,258
Huh?
631
00:50:04,102 --> 00:50:06,161
He needs to go to bathroom.
632
00:50:06,738 --> 00:50:10,697
Down the hall,
eighth door on the left.
633
00:50:10,775 --> 00:50:12,470
The switch is on the right.
634
00:50:39,203 --> 00:50:42,900
Welcome to
my tournament of champions.
635
00:50:42,974 --> 00:50:47,673
The tournament is single
elimination, sudden death.
636
00:50:48,980 --> 00:50:50,277
Let the games begin.
637
00:50:50,348 --> 00:50:52,942
The game is to 11.
638
00:50:53,017 --> 00:50:54,279
Must win by two.
639
00:50:55,453 --> 00:50:57,512
The first competitors are...
640
00:50:57,989 --> 00:51:00,184
Freddy "Fingers" Wilson.
641
00:51:00,258 --> 00:51:01,282
Wonderful.
642
00:51:01,359 --> 00:51:03,156
This is Freddy Fingers.
643
00:51:11,436 --> 00:51:12,596
And...
644
00:51:14,005 --> 00:51:15,768
Randy Daytona.
645
00:51:21,412 --> 00:51:23,573
Hello, Feng's mansion!
646
00:51:26,884 --> 00:51:28,647
How was Disneyland?
647
00:52:00,918 --> 00:52:02,351
Good luck, man.
648
00:52:02,420 --> 00:52:04,581
Blow it out your ass, bitch.
649
00:53:08,753 --> 00:53:10,118
Game point.
650
00:53:21,165 --> 00:53:24,157
Randy Daytona is the victor.
651
00:53:27,271 --> 00:53:28,329
Randy!
652
00:53:28,406 --> 00:53:29,771
Give it up!
653
00:53:30,208 --> 00:53:32,506
Can I hear a word?
654
00:53:32,577 --> 00:53:35,205
Can I hear a double "huh-huh"?
655
00:53:49,861 --> 00:53:51,192
Randy.
656
00:53:52,530 --> 00:53:54,054
Fantastique.
657
00:53:55,233 --> 00:53:57,724
Wong always did have
an eye for talent.
658
00:53:57,802 --> 00:53:59,929
Too bad they're not good
for anything else.
659
00:54:02,240 --> 00:54:03,434
You killed him?
660
00:54:03,508 --> 00:54:04,668
Well, duh.
661
00:54:04,742 --> 00:54:07,711
What part of "sudden death"
didn't you understand?
662
00:54:44,849 --> 00:54:46,077
Ow!
663
00:55:01,699 --> 00:55:03,326
What's up?
664
00:55:03,401 --> 00:55:07,929
Come, walk with me. Randy, I
have a proposition for you.
665
00:55:09,240 --> 00:55:12,300
I won't bite.
Not anywhere that will show.
666
00:55:17,582 --> 00:55:21,109
Guess a guy like you has to have a lot
of security around all the time, huh?
667
00:55:21,185 --> 00:55:25,178
Oh, them. They're just for show.
Nobody'd try anything in here.
668
00:55:26,591 --> 00:55:28,252
Give me the thing.
669
00:55:29,026 --> 00:55:31,460
This is the real security.
670
00:55:31,529 --> 00:55:34,020
The whole place
is wired to blow.
671
00:55:34,098 --> 00:55:38,762
I'd hate to have to relocate. The
place ain't much, but it's homey.
672
00:55:41,973 --> 00:55:43,133
Voilà.
673
00:55:48,379 --> 00:55:53,248
I don't usually give strangers the
full tour, but I don't know. Randy...
674
00:55:56,487 --> 00:55:57,852
I like you.
675
00:56:01,525 --> 00:56:02,890
Go ahead.
676
00:56:02,960 --> 00:56:04,325
After you.
677
00:56:10,735 --> 00:56:15,331
Guns is my new business,
and business is booming.
678
00:56:15,406 --> 00:56:18,466
These new polymer guns
go on sale Thursday.
679
00:56:18,542 --> 00:56:21,170
They go right through
a metal detector.
680
00:56:21,245 --> 00:56:22,872
Enough shop talk.
681
00:56:29,987 --> 00:56:32,387
Let me show you
my pride and joy.
682
00:56:33,891 --> 00:56:34,891
Snazzy.
683
00:56:34,959 --> 00:56:35,983
Yeah.
684
00:56:36,060 --> 00:56:38,756
It's my own private table.
Custom made.
685
00:56:39,730 --> 00:56:42,858
You have to wear
these vests to play.
686
00:56:42,933 --> 00:56:47,063
The batteries in them store enough
electricity to kill 3.8 men.
687
00:56:47,138 --> 00:56:49,538
Every time you miss,
the voltage doubles.
688
00:56:49,607 --> 00:56:52,804
Two-nothing feels like you just
stuck a fork in a toaster.
689
00:56:52,877 --> 00:56:55,368
Nobody's ever made it
past three-zip.
690
00:56:55,446 --> 00:56:59,212
This guy here,
five-time world champ.
691
00:57:01,986 --> 00:57:05,319
Randy, let me cut through
the bullpoop.
692
00:57:05,389 --> 00:57:10,793
I'd like you to come and work for me
as my personal assistantlhanger-on.
693
00:57:12,430 --> 00:57:13,954
Me?
Yeah.
694
00:57:14,031 --> 00:57:15,123
Why?
695
00:57:15,199 --> 00:57:18,999
Because I think you'd make a
wonderful addition to the Triad.
696
00:57:20,104 --> 00:57:21,162
Really? Me?
697
00:57:21,238 --> 00:57:23,172
Of course not, no.
698
00:57:23,240 --> 00:57:27,233
I want you 'cause
it would break Wong's heart.
699
00:57:27,311 --> 00:57:31,839
Me, his old pupil, luring his
protégé to the dark side
700
00:57:31,916 --> 00:57:33,975
is such a Kodak moment.
701
00:57:40,558 --> 00:57:45,495
Do you have any idea how hard it
is to get a panda these days?
702
00:57:45,563 --> 00:57:46,962
Really hard.
703
00:57:48,999 --> 00:57:52,730
Maybe he's dead. I'm not sure. I'm
not really sure what they eat.
704
00:57:55,573 --> 00:57:56,835
Oh, well.
705
00:58:03,013 --> 00:58:04,446
Back to the old grindstone.
706
00:58:04,515 --> 00:58:05,777
Oh, man.
707
00:58:26,437 --> 00:58:29,929
You're gonna come to the Vishnu
shrine in the bamboo grove.
708
00:58:30,007 --> 00:58:35,639
You're gonna go, lower hand low five, lower
hand low five, upper hand high five.
709
00:58:35,713 --> 00:58:38,113
And then you're in.
You got it?
710
00:58:39,383 --> 00:58:40,475
What?
711
00:58:42,953 --> 00:58:45,399
If the guns are there, I'll set the
beacon and my guys will be here
712
00:58:45,423 --> 00:58:47,234
before he scores another
point. All right? Relax.
713
00:58:47,258 --> 00:58:48,782
Just hurry!
714
00:58:57,835 --> 00:59:00,736
I blow you a fart.
How do you like that?
715
00:59:01,806 --> 00:59:06,402
Randy Daytona
versus Yukito Nagasaki.
716
00:59:55,526 --> 00:59:57,517
This one is for you, Daytona!
717
01:00:01,465 --> 01:00:03,399
Set and match.
718
01:00:12,676 --> 01:00:14,234
Where's everybody at?
719
01:00:14,311 --> 01:00:16,643
Coming up after the break,
the final round.
720
01:00:16,714 --> 01:00:20,445
Randy Daytona
versus Karl Wolfschtagg.
721
01:00:25,189 --> 01:00:30,821
You are so close to defeat, till it
already reeks of your cheap cologne.
722
01:00:30,895 --> 01:00:35,195
The joke's on you, pretty boy. It's
not cologne, it's Lady Speed Stick.
723
01:00:36,934 --> 01:00:38,561
Thank you, Master.
724
01:00:47,044 --> 01:00:50,639
Listen to me. You said that you were
gonna get me out of here, right?
725
01:00:50,714 --> 01:00:53,945
They were supposed to be here by now.
Look, don't worry, Randy.
726
01:00:54,018 --> 01:00:55,349
I got a plan B.
727
01:00:55,419 --> 01:00:56,750
You got a plan B?
728
01:00:56,820 --> 01:00:59,948
Trust me. Meet me in the
john in two minutes.
729
01:01:06,764 --> 01:01:08,095
Welcome to Feng's bathroom.
730
01:01:08,165 --> 01:01:09,189
Hey.
731
01:01:09,266 --> 01:01:12,565
May I interest you in an
Altoid or some Axe Body Spray?
732
01:01:12,636 --> 01:01:15,434
Hey, these shoes
look like they need a shine?
733
01:01:24,081 --> 01:01:25,412
Hi.
734
01:01:25,482 --> 01:01:26,608
Hi.
735
01:01:26,684 --> 01:01:28,117
Daytona.
736
01:01:28,185 --> 01:01:32,918
I have said some cruel things about you
to my friends here at the tournament.
737
01:01:32,990 --> 01:01:35,652
I told them that the reason
that you hate me so much
738
01:01:35,726 --> 01:01:38,251
is because I had sex
with your mother.
739
01:01:38,329 --> 01:01:40,763
My mother died when I was two.
I hardly knew her.
740
01:01:40,831 --> 01:01:43,664
Yeah, I know.
It's a horrible thing to say.
741
01:01:44,668 --> 01:01:49,230
And yet these things that I
say, over and over again,
742
01:01:52,509 --> 01:01:54,238
I do not mean them.
743
01:01:55,846 --> 01:01:58,041
'Cause, in truth,
744
01:01:58,115 --> 01:02:01,607
you are the greatest player
I have ever seen.
745
01:02:03,253 --> 01:02:04,914
Other than myself.
746
01:02:05,990 --> 01:02:08,322
Practicing in front of a mirror.
747
01:02:09,994 --> 01:02:11,359
Which I do.
748
01:02:13,163 --> 01:02:14,425
Every day.
749
01:02:17,101 --> 01:02:18,500
In the nude.
750
01:02:21,372 --> 01:02:24,500
I'm sorry for you that your
papa is not here to see you.
751
01:02:24,575 --> 01:02:26,372
I think he would
be very proud of you.
752
01:02:26,443 --> 01:02:28,104
Yeah.
753
01:02:28,178 --> 01:02:32,478
So proud of you that he would
probably bet some money on you again.
754
01:02:33,617 --> 01:02:36,552
I could use the cash. Ha-ha.
755
01:02:36,620 --> 01:02:39,521
Tell your dead parents
I said, "What's up?"
756
01:02:59,910 --> 01:03:01,309
We're staying.
757
01:03:02,379 --> 01:03:04,074
Win or lose, I got to play him.
758
01:03:05,182 --> 01:03:09,414
I can't keep running away
from that German fruit salad.
759
01:03:09,486 --> 01:03:11,920
Now I am proud.
760
01:03:11,989 --> 01:03:15,925
It is better to die like a tiger
than to live like a pussy.
761
01:03:17,561 --> 01:03:19,859
I'm gonna go tell Rodriguez.
762
01:03:22,499 --> 01:03:23,830
Rodriguez?
763
01:03:28,972 --> 01:03:30,337
Rodriguez?
764
01:03:31,141 --> 01:03:32,904
Open! Eat it!
765
01:03:33,944 --> 01:03:35,309
Eat it!
766
01:03:41,151 --> 01:03:43,711
How was I supposed to know you
were gonna change your mind?
767
01:03:43,787 --> 01:03:47,348
Silence. What's done is done.
Let's hope it works.
768
01:03:47,424 --> 01:03:48,686
I hate you guys.
769
01:03:48,759 --> 01:03:51,557
Mr. Feng,
there's been an accident.
770
01:03:51,628 --> 01:03:52,822
Oh, no!
771
01:03:54,631 --> 01:03:55,791
What have you...
772
01:03:55,866 --> 01:03:57,834
I broke it.
773
01:04:00,537 --> 01:04:01,697
Oh, my God!
774
01:04:01,772 --> 01:04:03,137
Did that hurt?
Yes!
775
01:04:03,207 --> 01:04:04,367
Oh, dear.
776
01:04:07,444 --> 01:04:11,278
I have no choice.
I have to disqualify you.
777
01:04:11,348 --> 01:04:14,044
I suppose Karl is our champion.
778
01:04:14,118 --> 01:04:17,417
Oh yeah! Oh yeah!
779
01:04:17,488 --> 01:04:19,649
This is far from over, Daytona!
780
01:04:19,723 --> 01:04:20,723
You suck!
781
01:04:20,824 --> 01:04:24,760
Hey! Hey, come on.
That stings. Who said that?
782
01:04:26,163 --> 01:04:30,099
Well, poop. Randy, I was
serious about my offer, okay?
783
01:04:30,167 --> 01:04:32,431
And e-mail me
when you make up your mind.
784
01:04:32,503 --> 01:04:36,803
I'm Pradafan1@gmail.com.
"Pradafan" is all one word.
785
01:04:36,874 --> 01:04:39,604
I can't tell you
how disappointed I am.
786
01:04:51,321 --> 01:04:56,987
I'm afraid your reputation has
preceded you, Agent Rodriguez.
787
01:04:57,995 --> 01:05:00,623
Are you still waiting
for your backup?
788
01:05:03,133 --> 01:05:06,034
Bad guys have
homing beacons, too.
789
01:05:07,805 --> 01:05:10,968
Competition will continue
as scheduled.
790
01:05:12,543 --> 01:05:14,602
Hope you're a good southpaw.
791
01:05:27,624 --> 01:05:30,559
- Three-point game.
- To the death.
792
01:05:34,097 --> 01:05:35,325
Come on.
793
01:05:56,520 --> 01:05:58,420
I'm cool, man. I'm cool.
794
01:06:05,262 --> 01:06:08,425
Oops. Clumsy, clumsy hippos.
795
01:06:08,498 --> 01:06:10,295
You should be more careful
with your racquet.
796
01:06:10,367 --> 01:06:12,426
It's not like
I get these shoes for free.
797
01:06:12,502 --> 01:06:14,868
Oh, wait. Yes, I do.
I do get them for free.
798
01:06:14,938 --> 01:06:16,371
Time out.
799
01:06:16,440 --> 01:06:20,035
Master, look. It's your brother's paddle.
It's my winning paddle.
800
01:06:20,110 --> 01:06:21,721
I mean, I don't know what
the hell I'm gonna do now.
801
01:06:21,745 --> 01:06:24,179
Gweilo!
Have I taught you nothing?
802
01:06:25,916 --> 01:06:28,851
Game not in paddle.
Game in you.
803
01:06:30,988 --> 01:06:33,320
You cannot change what is past.
804
01:06:34,291 --> 01:06:36,782
You must play for this man.
805
01:06:40,297 --> 01:06:42,959
Here, use this paddle.
806
01:06:44,234 --> 01:06:47,533
It belongs to the greatest
player I have ever known.
807
01:07:00,317 --> 01:07:01,875
Thanks, Master.
808
01:07:15,799 --> 01:07:18,290
Gunter, glieben,
glauchen, globen
809
01:07:22,005 --> 01:07:23,495
All right
810
01:07:25,776 --> 01:07:28,711
I got something to say
811
01:07:28,779 --> 01:07:33,580
Yeah, it's better to burn out
812
01:07:33,650 --> 01:07:36,710
Yeah, than fade away
813
01:07:39,056 --> 01:07:41,217
All right
814
01:07:47,998 --> 01:07:50,364
Gonna start a fire
815
01:07:53,337 --> 01:07:54,531
Come on
816
01:07:54,604 --> 01:07:56,799
Rise up, gather round
817
01:07:56,873 --> 01:07:59,068
Rock this place to the ground
818
01:07:59,142 --> 01:08:01,235
Burn it up, let's go for broke
819
01:08:01,311 --> 01:08:03,643
Watch the night go up in smoke
820
01:08:03,714 --> 01:08:05,978
Rock on, rock on
821
01:08:06,049 --> 01:08:08,176
Drive me crazier
822
01:08:08,251 --> 01:08:10,481
No serenade, no fire brigade
823
01:08:10,554 --> 01:08:13,250
Just pyromania, come on
824
01:08:13,323 --> 01:08:15,314
What do you want?
825
01:08:15,392 --> 01:08:17,019
What do you want?
826
01:08:17,094 --> 01:08:19,892
I want rock 'n' roll
827
01:08:19,963 --> 01:08:21,863
Yes, I do
828
01:08:21,932 --> 01:08:24,127
Long live rock 'n' roll
829
01:08:24,201 --> 01:08:26,066
Oh, let's go,
let's strike a light
830
01:08:26,136 --> 01:08:28,127
We're gonna blow like dynamite
831
01:08:32,175 --> 01:08:36,168
There will be a slight change in
today's program for the final match.
832
01:08:36,246 --> 01:08:39,613
The part of Karl Wolfschtagg
will be played by...
833
01:08:45,956 --> 01:08:47,890
Maggie!
Randy.
834
01:08:47,958 --> 01:08:49,255
Maggie!
No, Randy, no.
835
01:08:49,326 --> 01:08:53,319
You get to play her
to the death.
836
01:08:53,397 --> 01:08:56,389
I thought this would be
much more interesting, huh?
837
01:08:56,466 --> 01:08:57,797
You bastard.
What?
838
01:08:57,868 --> 01:08:59,961
This is an outrage!
839
01:09:00,037 --> 01:09:01,732
This is an outrage!
840
01:09:01,805 --> 01:09:05,206
I demand retribution!
I did not come all this way...
841
01:09:08,845 --> 01:09:10,904
Oh, great, blow dart, yeah?
842
01:09:11,715 --> 01:09:12,875
Super.
843
01:09:24,227 --> 01:09:25,489
Master, you got to help me out.
844
01:09:25,562 --> 01:09:27,587
You got to give me
some advice, anything, please.
845
01:09:27,664 --> 01:09:29,655
Sorry, gweilo, I'm out.
846
01:09:29,766 --> 01:09:33,668
"Game not in paddle, game in
you," is usually my big finish.
847
01:09:42,646 --> 01:09:43,646
I missed you.
848
01:09:43,713 --> 01:09:44,805
I missed you, too.
849
01:09:44,881 --> 01:09:48,578
Hey. Less talkie-talkie.
More Ping-Pong.
850
01:09:51,254 --> 01:09:53,745
Three-point game to the death.
851
01:09:57,961 --> 01:09:59,360
Maggie, come on.
852
01:09:59,429 --> 01:10:01,659
I'm not gonna play you, Randy.
853
01:10:02,966 --> 01:10:06,094
It would be an honor for me
to give you my life.
854
01:10:07,237 --> 01:10:10,172
One-zero. Randy Daytona.
855
01:10:18,682 --> 01:10:21,412
I don't know why you couldn't
just say that you love me.
856
01:10:21,485 --> 01:10:22,577
I...
857
01:10:23,253 --> 01:10:24,277
One-One.
858
01:10:24,354 --> 01:10:26,049
That's not fair.
That wasn't fair.
859
01:10:26,723 --> 01:10:29,590
Randy, I'm trying to sacrifice
my life for our love.
860
01:10:29,659 --> 01:10:31,422
Stop being such a dick!
861
01:10:33,663 --> 01:10:35,961
I'm not gonna let you lose,
Maggie.
862
01:10:38,201 --> 01:10:39,327
Here we go.
863
01:10:43,673 --> 01:10:45,698
This is not very honorable!
864
01:10:51,748 --> 01:10:53,409
I love you, Maggie.
865
01:10:59,389 --> 01:11:02,654
Boring. Kill them.
Kill them both.
866
01:11:02,726 --> 01:11:04,853
We're missing Antiques Roadshow.
867
01:11:08,565 --> 01:11:09,657
No.
868
01:11:16,239 --> 01:11:17,672
Oh, crap!
869
01:11:21,611 --> 01:11:23,841
Get to cover! Come on!
870
01:11:23,914 --> 01:11:27,782
You want to play rough?
Okay! Go! Go! Go!
871
01:11:31,154 --> 01:11:34,783
Stop it! Are you insane?
These are not replicas!
872
01:11:34,858 --> 01:11:39,124
Well, some of them are, but
they're limited edition replicas.
873
01:11:39,196 --> 01:11:41,096
Backup's right outside,
they just signaled.
874
01:11:41,164 --> 01:11:43,826
I didn't sneak in
two of these for nothing.
875
01:11:47,671 --> 01:11:49,935
This is the FBI.
876
01:12:00,417 --> 01:12:01,907
Oh, my God!
What?
877
01:12:01,985 --> 01:12:04,510
Wait a minute,
I forgot something, guys.
878
01:12:04,588 --> 01:12:05,588
What?
879
01:12:05,655 --> 01:12:06,952
Come here, baby.
880
01:12:08,758 --> 01:12:09,816
Wish me luck.
881
01:12:09,893 --> 01:12:10,917
Good luck.
882
01:12:10,994 --> 01:12:12,461
Get to the dock!
883
01:12:12,529 --> 01:12:14,121
He took my Uzi.
884
01:12:23,974 --> 01:12:25,908
Get away from the door!
885
01:12:30,013 --> 01:12:31,241
Sweet.
886
01:12:32,816 --> 01:12:34,340
Well, that was awesome of me.
887
01:12:35,418 --> 01:12:37,682
Dude, I totally knew
you'd rescue me!
888
01:12:37,787 --> 01:12:42,281
Okay! All right! Okay! All right! As a
friend! As a friend, I rescued you.
889
01:12:42,359 --> 01:12:43,383
Oh, right. Yeah. Right.
890
01:12:43,460 --> 01:12:44,859
Follow me!
891
01:12:45,829 --> 01:12:47,854
This way. Up the stairs!
892
01:12:48,832 --> 01:12:50,265
Oh, crap!
893
01:12:54,938 --> 01:12:56,249
So what? What?
What are you gonna do?
894
01:12:56,273 --> 01:12:58,264
You gonna murder me
like you murdered my father?
895
01:12:58,341 --> 01:13:00,536
You people sound
like a broken record.
896
01:13:00,610 --> 01:13:04,376
"You killed my so-and-so and
you murdered what's-his-face."
897
01:13:04,447 --> 01:13:07,939
"I demand..."
Blah-blah-blah. Get over it.
898
01:13:08,685 --> 01:13:11,882
Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait!
Don't, don't, don't. Feng.
899
01:13:12,756 --> 01:13:15,452
Listen, you kill me now,
900
01:13:15,525 --> 01:13:18,460
we're never gonna know
who Wong's best pupil is.
901
01:13:19,195 --> 01:13:20,492
For the record,
902
01:13:21,531 --> 01:13:24,557
I think we all assume
that it is Randy.
903
01:13:29,139 --> 01:13:31,164
You win, Wong.
904
01:13:31,241 --> 01:13:33,539
Let's settle this,
once and for all.
905
01:13:33,610 --> 01:13:35,043
This rescue sucks, dude.
906
01:13:35,111 --> 01:13:36,544
I know.
Huh?
907
01:13:36,613 --> 01:13:38,410
Not you, you're doing great.
908
01:13:39,683 --> 01:13:42,982
Guys. Guys. Guys!
909
01:13:47,624 --> 01:13:51,617
You, take the self-destruct doohickey.
Just show it to the FBI.
910
01:13:51,695 --> 01:13:54,960
Explain the house is rigged to blow.
That will buy us time.
911
01:13:56,633 --> 01:13:57,827
Ready, gweilo?
912
01:14:12,949 --> 01:14:14,473
Any last words?
913
01:14:16,052 --> 01:14:17,110
Yeah.
914
01:14:19,789 --> 01:14:22,587
Self-destruct sequence
activated.
915
01:14:28,531 --> 01:14:31,466
Five minutes to detonation
and counting.
916
01:14:31,901 --> 01:14:33,368
It's your point, Feng.
917
01:14:33,436 --> 01:14:35,836
I know. My serve, I think.
918
01:14:37,340 --> 01:14:39,308
What the hell are you doing?
It's over, Feng.
919
01:14:39,376 --> 01:14:41,708
The Ping-Pong table
doesn't know that.
920
01:14:41,778 --> 01:14:45,179
If we stop playing,
it will kill us both.
921
01:14:45,248 --> 01:14:47,011
You mean, you can't turn it off?
922
01:14:47,083 --> 01:14:48,983
God, that's so stupid!
923
01:14:49,052 --> 01:14:50,052
Randy.
924
01:14:50,120 --> 01:14:51,144
Get to the boat!
925
01:14:51,221 --> 01:14:53,052
Okay, let's get out of here.
926
01:14:53,623 --> 01:14:55,716
I'm gonna save the panda!
927
01:14:59,596 --> 01:15:01,086
The panda's dead!
928
01:15:01,698 --> 01:15:04,690
All right, FBI!
You are all under arrest!
929
01:15:05,335 --> 01:15:06,427
FBI!
930
01:15:08,304 --> 01:15:09,430
FBI!
931
01:15:15,578 --> 01:15:16,636
Oh, shit!
932
01:15:21,885 --> 01:15:23,216
That's my point, Feng.
933
01:15:29,526 --> 01:15:30,857
But you missed the table!
934
01:15:30,927 --> 01:15:32,690
I changed the rules a little.
935
01:15:32,762 --> 01:15:34,389
I should have told you.
936
01:15:34,464 --> 01:15:37,558
The way I play, you could hit
it off anything you want.
937
01:15:37,634 --> 01:15:40,068
One bounce, it counts.
My bad.
938
01:15:40,136 --> 01:15:41,569
Son of a bitch!
939
01:16:11,501 --> 01:16:12,627
Guys!
940
01:16:17,006 --> 01:16:18,871
This guy looks really tough.
941
01:16:20,710 --> 01:16:22,200
You take him.
942
01:16:57,914 --> 01:16:59,814
Two minutes to detonation.
943
01:17:02,585 --> 01:17:04,849
You should've taken my offer.
944
01:17:04,921 --> 01:17:08,584
I would've given you anything.
Anything in the world!
945
01:17:08,658 --> 01:17:10,649
I want my father back!
946
01:17:10,727 --> 01:17:11,887
Lots of luck!
947
01:17:29,512 --> 01:17:30,979
Come on, get up.
948
01:17:31,314 --> 01:17:34,511
Come on, fast, fast, fast.
Heads down. Heads down.
949
01:17:34,584 --> 01:17:37,712
Get your own boat, Pedro!
I call this one.
950
01:17:40,256 --> 01:17:42,520
Guys! Guys!
951
01:17:42,592 --> 01:17:47,029
Me, the money and the Chinese
broad are taking off.
952
01:17:49,032 --> 01:17:50,260
You see this pen?
953
01:17:50,333 --> 01:17:55,236
This pen contains enough cyanide to
kill everyone within 100-yard radius.
954
01:17:55,305 --> 01:17:57,603
Do you think I'd come in here
without a backup plan?
955
01:17:57,674 --> 01:18:00,700
I'm FBI, pendejo!
956
01:18:00,777 --> 01:18:03,541
Now, here's
how it's gonna go down.
957
01:18:08,518 --> 01:18:10,782
Hola. You like chorizo?
958
01:18:11,554 --> 01:18:14,216
Let's get out of here.
He's gonna be really mad.
959
01:18:16,259 --> 01:18:17,453
Randy!
960
01:18:18,695 --> 01:18:21,323
Remember
what I told you, gweilo!
961
01:18:21,931 --> 01:18:25,458
Feng only finished
one-half of his training.
962
01:18:28,905 --> 01:18:29,997
Come on.
963
01:18:41,451 --> 01:18:43,851
I believe it's my serve, Feng.
964
01:18:45,922 --> 01:18:49,414
Big deal.
I never finished the training.
965
01:18:49,492 --> 01:18:53,258
What's that mean?
I have no honor or something?
966
01:18:53,329 --> 01:18:55,354
It means you have no backhand.
967
01:19:15,051 --> 01:19:18,316
Oh, shit!
968
01:19:36,572 --> 01:19:41,942
Ten, nine, eight, seven, six...
969
01:19:42,011 --> 01:19:43,205
Jump!
970
01:19:43,279 --> 01:19:48,012
Five, four, three, two, one.
971
01:20:05,968 --> 01:20:07,265
Dude, that was amazing!
972
01:20:07,336 --> 01:20:08,360
I love you!
973
01:20:08,438 --> 01:20:09,462
We are so proud of you!
974
01:20:09,539 --> 01:20:12,633
Okay. Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you so much.
975
01:20:12,709 --> 01:20:14,939
Seriously, stop it!
976
01:20:37,300 --> 01:20:38,892
You ready, pussycat?
977
01:20:40,503 --> 01:20:42,733
Say hello to my little friend!
978
01:20:46,375 --> 01:20:47,399
Are you okay?
979
01:20:47,477 --> 01:20:49,342
Let's go, pussycat,
one more time.
980
01:20:49,412 --> 01:20:50,436
You got it?
981
01:20:50,513 --> 01:20:51,513
Yeah.
982
01:20:53,049 --> 01:20:54,448
Oh, no!
983
01:20:57,687 --> 01:20:58,687
I heard that.
984
01:21:00,890 --> 01:21:02,915
Okay, no more games.
985
01:21:05,661 --> 01:21:08,095
Let me help you with that,
Master.
986
01:21:09,699 --> 01:21:11,166
There you go.
987
01:21:11,234 --> 01:21:15,898
Hey, I wanted to thank you for
everything that you've done for me.
988
01:21:15,972 --> 01:21:20,375
So I got you a little something.
989
01:21:22,612 --> 01:21:25,172
It's really not necessary.
990
01:21:25,248 --> 01:21:27,216
But Master will accept.
991
01:21:28,785 --> 01:21:32,050
What is it? Let me guess.
It's something small.
992
01:21:32,121 --> 01:21:33,145
No, don't...
993
01:21:33,222 --> 01:21:35,122
Cufflinks? It's a ring.
994
01:21:35,191 --> 01:21:36,715
I love jewelry.
995
01:21:38,027 --> 01:21:40,086
I can't guess. What is it?
996
01:21:40,963 --> 01:21:42,954
It's a new lucky cricket.
997
01:21:43,366 --> 01:21:44,366
Oh.
998
01:21:50,439 --> 01:21:51,497
Was.
999
01:21:52,475 --> 01:21:54,670
I shall carry it with me always.
1000
01:21:54,744 --> 01:21:55,836
Yeah.
1001
01:21:57,847 --> 01:22:00,748
Don't bother.
He's pretty much dead.
1002
01:22:01,484 --> 01:22:03,076
No, no, no.
I will carry the box.
1003
01:22:03,152 --> 01:22:05,916
It will bring my spare change
great honor.
1004
01:22:05,988 --> 01:22:08,479
Okay, you do that.
You do that.
1005
01:22:08,624 --> 01:22:09,989
Hey, gweilo!
1006
01:22:11,227 --> 01:22:12,888
I just want to say
1007
01:22:15,865 --> 01:22:17,423
no hard feelings, huh?
1008
01:22:17,900 --> 01:22:20,334
Good luck
on the new school, gweilo.
1009
01:22:21,437 --> 01:22:22,802
Thanks, man.
1010
01:22:34,350 --> 01:22:38,912
Dragon say, "May Wong's school of
table tennis last 1,000 years.
1011
01:22:38,988 --> 01:22:41,786
"Or at least until the lease
is up in August."
1012
01:22:42,558 --> 01:22:44,856
Oh, thanks.
1013
01:22:44,927 --> 01:22:47,452
It's nice.
Thank you very much.
1014
01:22:47,530 --> 01:22:50,397
You know, I think we all
learned a valuable lesson.
1015
01:22:56,706 --> 01:22:59,539
Dragon say, "This is
not over yet, whitey!"
1016
01:23:03,746 --> 01:23:05,373
Walk it off, Randy.
1017
01:23:07,083 --> 01:23:13,181
A true Ping-Pong player must always
be aware of his surroundings.
1018
01:23:18,527 --> 01:23:20,427
Master, are you all right?
1019
01:23:21,697 --> 01:23:23,995
I am going to Disneyland.
1020
01:23:25,668 --> 01:23:28,330
Maybe we should
keep this closed.
1021
01:23:29,105 --> 01:23:32,404
There's a gate here. There's
a blind man walking around.
1022
01:24:16,052 --> 01:24:17,076
Feng!
1023
01:24:19,922 --> 01:24:21,048
Shit!
1024
01:25:02,031 --> 01:25:04,727
I'm not leaving without you,
Ying-Ying!
1025
01:25:08,771 --> 01:25:10,329
Panda's totally fake.
1026
01:25:52,815 --> 01:25:54,248
Feng, not Fang.
1027
01:25:54,316 --> 01:25:55,874
Feng?
Feng.
1028
01:25:55,951 --> 01:25:58,044
I've been calling you Fang
this whole time.
1029
01:25:58,120 --> 01:25:59,712
F-E-N-G.
1030
01:25:59,789 --> 01:26:00,847
Feng?
1031
01:26:00,923 --> 01:26:01,923
All right.
1032
01:26:01,991 --> 01:26:02,991
Please.
69719
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