All language subtitles for You.Keep.The.Kids.2021.WEBRip

I'm in.

Jeez, sis'. I pass.

I pass too.
You're going bleed me dry.

And I don't have
a secure job like you guys.

Secure? I'm not spending all
my life in that boring clinic.

I'm going to Africa
with Doctors Without Borders.

You? You get hysterical when
your hair goes frizzy on the
beach.

My hair goes wild,

so I tie it back. You know that.
What's up with you today?

Shall we focus on the game
or keep going on about Africa?

You too.
Can't we talk about what I want?

- Don't you have projects?
- I'm going to build buildings

and design things that
make a mark for humanity.

And I'm going to win
this game, Florinata.

With what, Victorín?
You can't bet, you're broke.

Guys.

- Watch me gamble.
- What the hell is this?

- No, no, don't do this to me.
- I bet my whole life. Yes.

- No, don't do this to me.
Really.
- Listen, listen. Yes, yes.

Don't do this to me.
Stop playing right now.

- Stop playing, I won't forgive
you.
- Listen to me. Listen, Flora.

- No, no, don't do this to me.
- Shut up, you're such a drag.

You're a drag and I can't stand
you,

but I can't live without you.
And since you'll never let win,

I've decided to keep playing
with you the rest of my life,

so answer me this question
honestly:

Will you marry me, or not?

- It's so small, Victor.
- Don't fuck with me, Flora.

Yes, I will.

That's enough. I said I yes.
Stop singing, please.

Your singing is terrible. Stop!

- Let me see the cards.
- No, no, take the ring.

I don't want the ring.
I want to see the cards.

Did you stage all this
because I was winning?

- I know you in and out.
- Are you sick? You are!

- Let me see the cards.
- But the main thing...

You're sick, girl, sick.

I did this whole romantic thing
and you're thinking about the
game?

- I just want to see your hand...
- Fine, okay. Let me...

I'll show you. Just a sec.

Look, I'll show you. I had...
You'll never know!

Show me the cards, please!

I love you!

Victor!

- Victor.
- Okay, okay, I give up.

- Did you piss properly on the
stick?
- I had to piss on it?

I thought I had to suck it.
Of course I did!

- We're pregnant.
- Of course we are.

We're pregnant, girl.

- We're pregnant!
- We're pregnant!

Did you spill the Coca-Cola
or did your waters break?

- The latter.
- Oh, okay.

The latter? Your waters broke?

- Yes.
- Really?

- Wait, I want to see how it
ends.
- Are you nuts? Come on!

Quiet, please.

No one tells me to be quiet.
I'm in labor.

Hi!

Hi. We haven't slept
for six nights.

- My boobs are going to burst.
- Look, look...

You guys look great.

Yes.

Hey, I don't trust
these digital thermometers.

Why not?
Maybe you think I'm pregnant

from using a digital
thermometer.

It isn't because you poisoned
me?

Blow your dad a kiss.

Hi here too.

Take it.

I recommend that you all
have tons of kids.

What?

Yes, positive. Congratulations.

Watch out, Dad's a monster!

Oh, my God!

Do a dance,
you have to make Mom do it.

Don't film me. Turn it off.

YOU KEEP THE KIDS!

SEVEN YEARS LATER

- You're really getting divorced?
- Yes, we're getting divorced.

That's that.

We've been thinking it over
for a while and...

this summer, on vacation
without the kids, we decided.

We realized that something

had broken down between us
and it's over.

Our relationship is so boring.

- Yes, we love each other and...
- Yes.

We're friends...

- But there's no spark anymore.
- Spark.

No.

- We don't argue now.
- We don't fight.

Nothing. And for us that's...

Death, you know.

And we don't want to
become the typical couple...

- Exactly.
- ...that pretends to talk, to
listen...

Are we roommates
who fuck now and then?

- Like: "today's fuck day".
- And you fuck, but...

There's no spark.

Exactly.

- Out of respect for the
relationship.
- Was there no alternative,

like couples therapy?
People do it and it works.

Yes. We did it for a while
and...

- ...it was great for us.
- You didn't tell me.

No, because we decided
not to say anything, but...

it clearly worked for us.
It was good for us.

For some time...

I was with another man, honey.

Oh, I know who. With...

Yeah, yeah.

What? Why?

- What?
- Oh, sure.

Did you think having a kid
would sort it all out?

- No, no. Forget it.
- No, no... No, sure...

And how did the kids take it?

I assume that...

Now we have to tell the kids.

Yes. When?
Tomorrow at breakfast?

"Kids, finish your Corn Flakes.
By the way,
Mom and Dad are getting
divorced."

- I'd die.
- No, we have to think this over.

- We have to find the perfect
time.
- Yes. Yes.

I've got it. Just before
Christmas.

Great. With the presents,
they'll forget about it.

And there's still time.

Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas!

Aren't we overdoing it
by getting Alexia a scooter?

Now you think so?
I told you pepper spray was
enough.

And she doesn't deserve it.
She's unbearable, all day it's:
"What?"

"What? No, no."

But she got straight A's this
term.
We owe it to her.

And with a gift like this,
she won't give a shit

- about the divorce.
- That's it then.

That's it.

Good night.

- Can you turn the light out?
- Of course.

Time to get up!

Where's that beautiful thing?
Here, half-asleep.

Morning, honey.

- Sara, it's 8.
- Mom, I killed it.

- What happened Bunny?
- I dreamt I gave it too much
love again.

- Gosh, it's lost its head.
- What are you going to do?

Bury the body and get an alibi,

because your mom
is with you on this, honey.

Jeez, Mom,
I was having a great dream.

I was a famous rock star,

I did shows for thousands of
people,

- interviews on TV...
- Then I woke you just in time,

before you went into a rehab
clinic.
Morning, princess.

What clinic?

I dreamt you were so cool,
you bought me a scooter.

You're goofy first thing in the
morning.
Don't you have a big exam today?

Don't shut the door in my face.
I love you.
Love me back. Do you think she
hates me?

She's at the awkward age,
they all go silly.

- Will you hate me?
- For sure.

The last one to sit down
gets a healthy, balanced
breakfast!

I want refined sugar! Refined
sugar!

Victor, I'm going.

Remember to pay for
Sara's speech therapy class,
okay?

And give Alexia 10 euros
for the guitar teacher.

And go to the supermarket.
The list is on the fridge.

My God, 20 messages on
the parents chatline at 8 a.m.?

"Lice in Juan's class".
Again! Come on!

She acts surprised,
as if we didn't know that her
son

has been patient zero
for lice his whole life.

By the way,
we have to tell them about...

Hide the body

and add to the list

a roast chicken and anti-lice
shampoo.

- 'Bye! Love you!
- 'Bye, Mom!

- 'Bye, Mom!
- 'Bye, Mom! Love you!

Good morning.

- Cut it out.
- Dad!

- Cut it out! Pranks lead to
spanks.
- Leave me alone!

- Hey, Sara!
- But...!

You guys are a drag in the
morning.

Oh, we're a drag...

Would the lady prefer
a private chauffeur?

Buy me a scooter and you
wouldn't
have to be a chauffeur.

I'll shut up.

Morning, sis'.
What have you got today?

Three births, one of them
twins...
You could help me later.

Again? No, I can't.
I've got Mercedes' bunions.

- Good morning, Mercedes.
- Good morning, Juana.

Look at your surgery today!

- Christ, he's here again?
- That's 15 times this month.

Of course I took a shower.
And I'm wearing clean jocks,
Mom.

Of course.

What about your application
to be a volunteer?

I sent it.
Africa, Africa... I'll get
lucky.

- Not now, he's coming. I'm
going.
- Wait...

- Doctor Flora.
- What?

- Did you change your hair?
- No, it's been the same for five
years.

- Wow.
- Look,

I'll see those three
healthy-looking
people, then you, okay?

I'm last, like when they chose
teams for football at school.

- Always the same.
- Yes. I'll tell you.

Good.

- Don't follow me, it's not your
turn, Edu.
- No, no. Of course.

Victor, I thought about
including
these reports in the dossier.

- Yes, this has to be in it.
- Great.

Thanks.

Listen, Victor.

I heard you're getting divorced.
What a hassle, eh?

Can I be frank? A lot is riding
on the Russian presentation

and, of course,
I have full confidence in you,
but...

if you think you're not up to
it...

No, no, don't worry,
Claudia's being a big help
with...

- Are you sure?
- ...the project and it's all
under control.

I never liked Flora.
You know what I mean?

I knew she was bonkers
the day I met her.

She was always eyeing me up.
I said:

"Girl, what are you doing?".
I held back because you were
there.

Anyway, it's the best thing to
happen
to you. Keep the girls at bay.

Focus on the project.

It's your first building, kid.

Don't blow it.

Bachelor!

He looks different.
You know what it is?

- He didn't have the beard last
year.
- Maybe it's his vibe,

but I wouldn't mind him doing
a few things to me in the
bathroom.

When will it start to be weird
that we're staring at him?

15 minutes ago.

- He's coming, act natural.
- How do you do that?

I don't know. Serious,
like we don't give a shit.

We don't give a shit.
Erica, it's not working, he's
coming.

- Two yards, one yard...
- Hello.

- Are you going to Simón's party?
- Yeah, sure, we'll be there.

Or maybe not,
we've got tons of stuff to do.

That's a shame. And...

- I'll see you, right?
- Me, you bet.

They're kissing! They're
kissing!

Sure, I'm watching it too.

Amazing.

Oh, gum. Sorry.

Above all, don't forget
your book for tomorrow.

Who hasn't taken Fluffy home
yet?
Raise your hand.

Carlitos?

Alba?

Me. Here, here, here.

Yes, Sara, you take Fluffy home.

But remember not to love him
as much as you did Antoñito.

The whole class learned
a new term, which was...

- "Cervical dislocation".
- Right, Sara?

Recess! Let's use these 30
minutes

to feed the soul, spirit,
creativity...

Yes, maybe you can do that on
TikTok.

IF ANYTHING HAPPENS TO FLUFFY,
YOU'RE DEAD, FREAK.

"Dad will get a place near Mom,
so you'll have two homes:

Dad's and Mom's."

- What?
- You look too smiley.

- You want me to cry?
- Positive.

- Yes.
- But a bit serious too.

- Poor things, I feel sorry...
- Relax.

- I'll try to be positive.
- Positive and serious.

"Mom and Dad are getting
divorced,
but it's fine."

I don't...

Do you like the water?
Do you, little guy?

- What's that rat?
- It's not a rat, it's a mouse.

- Whatever. Can I take a shit?
- Can't you wait?

He's wet and I don't want him
to catch cold.

- Sure, the rat comes first.
- What are you doing?

- I'm going, I'm going.
- Shut the door!

"Mom and Dad are getting
divorced,
and it's fine."

Right, you say it.

Without crying.
Don't you dare cry, eh?

Alright, okay.

- What's that rat?
- It's not a rat, it's a mouse.

He'll catch cold.
He'll catch his death.

No, no, no.

You know? I'm looking from
outside
and putting myself down.

- Exactly, you're not...
- I'm not flowing.

Don't intellectualize, do it:
"Mom and Dad

are getting divorced".

Then softly: "It's fine".

- No, no.
- It's crap.

Mom, what do I do with Fluffy?

Dry the poor animal, it's
dripping.

Meeting in the living room.
Right now, everyone!

- I'm trying to.
- Dry it and come along.

This girl, really...
With the rat now...

Well, my darlings, first of all,

we love you very much.

- Alexia, do you mind...?
- No, you're not bothering me.

See how she talks to me?
She doesn't love me.

Alexia.

What's up?

What's up is that...

- Is there something in the
microwave?
- Yes, I'm drying Fluffy.

Oh, right.

What?

- No, no, no!
- No, no, no!

No, no, no!

Sara!

No, no, Sara, no.

Is he alright?

Ave Maria...

- Thank you, Juan.
- Very pretty, Juan.

I just wanted to dry him
so he wouldn't catch cold.

- And now he's dead.
- You've killed again, honey.

But it was an accident, right?

The whole school's going to hate
me.

Hey, Sara,

it was a normal mouse, okay?

We'll get one the same
and no one will know. Okay? No
one.

It's not the first animal
to die on you.

Not the first or the second.
Or the third...

- Dad, stop.
- Right.

I know how you feel, Sara.

No child should survive their
pet.

Let's go inside.

Cry, cry. Let it all out, Sara.

If she meant to do it,
the girl's a psychopath.

- She didn't do it on purpose.
- If she did it on purpose,

she's like your brother...

That's it then.

Sometimes she scares me,
she doesn't blink.

- True, she doesn't blink.
- She doesn't blink.

- The older one blinks.
- Yes... She's a piece of work!

- Well...
- She's so little and so...

And Juan's voice is awful.

He wanted to sing in the school
talent show and I said: "Juan,
no!".

No, no. What a trauma.
Kids can be so cruel.

- I demand custody!
- You said you'd stop seeing her.

- But she's my mother!
- But your mother is...

No. Take it easy, Beltrán.

Yes.

Calm down. Beltrán, look,
remember Civil Code 154:

"The non-custodial progenitor
is subject by judicial order

to inform the custodial
progenitor
of aspects relevant to...

the child in their authority".
Is that clear?

Betrán? Belt...?

Beltrán, my son. Four years old.

- "Roldán García".
- Present.

- Your Honor.
- No, I'm not a judge.

First, I want you to know
that a divorce doesn't mean

that you've failed or wasted
the best years of your lives,
alright?

- No, we don't see it like that.
- Sure, it's better not to
think...

about all you could've done
if you'd chosen the right
person.

Have you told the children?

I imagine it wasn't easy.
I assume they'll hate you

for ruining their childhood.

We were about to,
but something came up and...

A little something with legs.

I thought you'd agreed on
the divorce conditions.

No, we do agree,
we want shared custody.

Totally shared custody,
it's best for the kids.

Good. Then why are you
waiting to tell them?

That's it, it's all rendered.

Well, then... we're done.

I've done the final render
of all the building's floors
too.

Off home.

Claudia, congratulations.

But anyway, we shouldn't get...

too excited, we still have
to do the presentation

and tell them all about...

Right, about what exactly?

Well, it's...

a major building with...

its specification,
its town planning report,

its geotechnical study,

a kiss, that maybe...

- ...shouldn't happen...
- Right.

Sorry, Victor. Sorry.

You're right, I don't know
what came over me.

Claudia, it's not that
I don't want to. You know...

No way. If it were up to me,...

you could tear off my blouse
with your teeth right now.

It'd be just the thing,
to celebrate by clearing that
away

- and doing it wild-style, but...
- Yes.

...unfortunately, one can't. I
can't.

Why not?

Well, I have a partner.

Well, technically.

Ah, technically.

But I don't want to
get you in trouble...

- No, no. No, Claudia.
- ... or involved in anything.

Yes, when you're right, you're
right.

- Victor, Victor, Victor...
- No, no. Not this, no.

But what we were talking
about...

you make an argument
that I can't rebut.

- Then don't rebut it.
- And now, whatever you ask,

I'll give it to you.

Look at you.

- Good morning.
- Good morning.

Did you get any sleep?
I didn't hear you come in.

Oh, yeah, we stayed very late.

- Preparing the Russia thing.
- I imagine so.

What's with all the questions,
Flora?!

You sure are grumpy in the
morning.

- Well done.
- It was good, right?

- Very good. Are you happy?
- Yeah, yeah.

You should be.

What a success! The adrenalin!

You're off to Russia for 5
months,
in January. You and Claudia.

I want you there to supervise
the project after Christmas.

- What?
- Your first building!

But Russia? All of a sudden?

Divorced and traveling the
world?
What more could you ask for?

No, I love the idea.
It's an opportunity, but...

- I'll talk to Flora.
- Don't mention that creature.

And the "three little
creatures".

Well, you work it out.
Start learning Russian, eh?

Guten Tag, mademoiselle!

"Guten Tag", he says...

Well, off to Russia, eh?

To Russia.

- Girl! Look, girl!
- I've got a birth.

- No, I'm going to Africa!
- On vacation?

I got into Doctors Without
Borders!
I join just after New Year!

Look, the e-mail.

How about that!

For 7 months! Happy at last!
Away from this hassle.

I have to go,
the girl's a breech birth.

- We wanted it to be a surprise.
- "Baby", I said "baby".

Well done, you deserve it!
Love you!

Victor, Victor...

Victor, Victor...

Victor.

Listen, we have to talk.

No. No, you go.

What?

You're the one who should go.

But why should you give it up?

I can go to Africa next year,
but your building can't wait.

Victor, you've worked so hard...

and you deserve it.

Go on, take it as
an early Christmas present,
okay?

I don't know what to say.

- I'm so lucky to have you.
- Yes, actually.

- See you at home?
- See you at home.

How are you?

- Did you talk it over?
- Yes, we did.

- And?
- Well, it looks like...

- we're going to Russia.
- No.

- Yes.
- I don't believe it. Do you?

- Hello.
- Hello.

I won't bother you.
I left my car keys here.

- Sorry, eh?
- Yes. Well...

- Claudia, Flora, Flora, Claudia.
- Nice to meet you, madam.

- "Madam"? Oh, great.
- I should go.

No, no, I'll go, my God.
This is so awkward.

You feel awkward,
she does, I do,

this lady eating a potato
feels really awkward...

I'll go. See you later.

'Bye.

Victor, by the way...

I won't make roast beef,
I guess you won't be home for
dinner.

There'll be four of us,
so I'll do macaroni. Less
trouble.

Yes, keep it simple, macaroni.

Kids always love macaroni.

I love macaroni too.

There you go then.

I don't mean you're a girl,
because you work here,

- so I presume you're an adult.
- Yes.

- You got some balls!
- What?

Nothing, maybe I'll make
meatballs and be done with it.

Yes, meatballs is fine too.

Nice to meet you. Until next
time.

- Goodbye.
- Goodbye.

Sorry.

Habit. 'Bye.

Let's see...

Your wife called to tell me
that,
due to an overseas trip,

you wish to temporarily
change the shared custody.

- Yes.
- Then we agree that,

apart from these 7 months,
in which custody will be
exclusive,

custody is to be shared
50% pater and mater.

Sorry, did you say 7 months?

- Yes. Isn't that it?
- Yes, it is.

- No, it's 5 months.
- Are you only going for 5 months
now?

- No.
- Yes.

- I'm the one that's going.
- You're going to Africa?

No.

- I don't get it. Who's going?
- I am.

And who wants custody
of the children?

- He does.
- She does.

- I don't understand.
- Neither do I. Flora, what's
going on?

What's going on, Flora?
We need explanations.

I've accepted the volunteer
position.

What?

- Why didn't you tell me?
- Did you tell me?

- Tell you what?
- I know.

That has nothing to do with it.
Besides, we were separated.

Well, legally speaking, not yet.

"The chance of a lifetime", you
said.
And all you want

is for me to babysit
while you fuck some 20-year-old?

She's 25.

Legally, irreproachable,
morally, questionable.

Does she have to be home early,
or do her parents let her stay
out late?

Very funny. Very witty.
You're not jealous, are you?

Touché!

Jealous... I'm comfy at home
and you're partying with teens.

- A right hook!
- Stay out of it!

Flora, let's sign what we
agreed.

Fuck that.

- This is unacceptable, Your
Honor.
- I'm not a judge.

I want it on record that
I never wanted it to come to
this.

Objection!
You've broken our agreement.

This is unacceptable due to
my client's extramarital
relationship.

I'm not your client, there's no
probable cause. We're separated.

- Objection!
- Sustained.

- I request an adjournment!
- I'm not a judge!

Then why is this here?
Did you order "the code red"?

- You're not obliged to answer!
- You can't handle the truth!

Enough!

Make up your minds
or the children will decide.

No further questions, Your
Honor.

- Well...
- Okay.

- Let's see if can do this now.
- Shall I start?

- Yes, you start.
- Fine.

We're gathered here today...
First,
is there anything alive in the
microwave?

- No, I checked.
- Okay.

We've gathered you here because
we've always told you everything

and we've been honest with you.

In this family we've never lied
or hidden anything.

Well, in principle.
Unless Victor... No?

- Alright...
- Well...

First, we want to tell you
that we love you.

- Loads.
- So much, loads.

Mom, are you dying?
Why do you look so bad?

- Bad? Do I look bad?
- No, it's not that.

- I mean, she's not dying.
- Are you dying, Dad?

- No.
- No, honey, I'm not dying.

- Then who's dying?
- No one's dying!

We've gathered you to tell you
that we're getting a divorce.

But... why?

- Mom and Dad have...
differences.
- "25 years" of them.

Don't go there, Flora,
or we'll never finish.

And we thought that
this was best for everyone

So, what about us?

- We want the best for you...
- The best.

...so we thought that you...

should decide who
you want to live with.

- Now?
- No, hey... Not now.

- No.
- Not now.

- Well...
- What?

If you're sure who you want
to stay with, for example,
Mom...

Or Dad.

- You'd better think it over.
- No, weigh it up and...

- Give it some thought...
- Yes, yes.

- You have loads of time...
- Yes, until... Christmas.

But that's only two weeks away.

- See? It's a long time.
- Two weeks.

15 days, all up.

- God made the world in one week.
- And He had time to rest.

- I need to vent.
- Sara...

Alexia...

I need to sing something.

Christmas came along,
my parents split up...

What are you doing drinking
wine?

True, Dad, for this
I need something stronger.

Where does Mom hide
those pills to make her happy?

Pills...? Give that here.

What do you want me to do?
I have to choose between Mom and
you.

It's impossible,

I have no reason
to rule out either of you.

There's no reason to rule out
Dad or Mom...

It hurts, eh? But I understand.

If you want to stay with your
mother,
it's only natural.

Who do the chicks follow?
The hen.

The rooster just says good
morning.

I understand perfectly
if you want to stay with Dad.

Dad is all fun and games.
With Dad it's pizza,

hamburgers, TV until late.

And the FIFA championship,
boys at home...

Mom!

Am I being too liberal?

Not to mention that
Mom is a doctor...

so it's hands down.

Because living with a doctor
gives you a peace of mind...

Sorry, but when I read
your lovey-dovey messages,

- I thought that you...
- You looked at my phone?

Yes, honey, because I want
to share things with you.

And now I'm getting divorced,
I want to be your best friend.

What do you like?
Boys, girls...?

Imagine you're choking
on a chicken bone

and you need the "Hendrix"
maneuver...

I wouldn't know where to start.

I'd shove a pen in your neck
and good God...

what a mess that'd be.
I don't want to think about it.

No, better with Mom, for sure.

- Not here.
- Why not? Who cares?

- I'm embarrassed.
- Victor... Go on.

Good. Did anything happen?
No, right?

- Nothing happened.
- Alright then.

- What session do we go to?
- 5:30 or 6:30?

- 6:30.
- Okay. We can get a drink first.

Okay. Hold on.

- What?
- Is today Thursday?

- Yes. Why?
- Shit, shit, shit!

It's my turn to pick up the
kids.
They're waiting.

- And the movie?
- And it's raining.

I have to go, I'm sorry.
We'll talk tomorrow.

Need a lift?

Quick, it's drizzling a bit.

Sorry, that's not funny.
Sorry. Sorry.

Alright. Come on.

- We're back.
- Where were you?

- Dad was late.
- Snitch.

Jeez, you're soaked.
Into the shower. Hurry up.

I lost track of time and...

- I got there late.
- Sure. Sure, sure.

- Sorry, I didn't mean to.
- Sure you didn't.

- What do you mean?
- Nothing.

I know you didn't.
You wouldn't do it on purpose?

Flora...

Alexia, can you come down
for a moment, please?

Coming!

Watch and learn.

I know it's a bit early,
but the straight A's you got

and your good behavior,
you deserve it.

It was here, right, Victor?
Here it is.

Surprise!

- Those are keys.
- I believe so.

- Scooter keys.
- Maybe.

- The keys... to my scooter?
- Maybe, I don't know.

Yes.

I don't believe it!
I don't believe it!

No, no, not me.
It was all your father's idea.

Thanks, Dad!
Thank you so much!

I don't believe it!
I don't believe it!

You're the best dad in the
world!
Thank you so much!

- Hey, what about me?
- You just wait.

Your dad's thinking of
giving you a live pony.

A pony, a pony, a pony!
Dad! Dad!

Thank you so much, Dad!

What a dad, you're so lucky.
I wish I had one like him.

I'm excited about Russia,
but Flora is...

Don't worry. Besides, the kids
always go with the mother,
right?

- No, man, no. Not mine, mine
adore me.
- Well...

Don't tell Marina, eh?
Sisters tell each other
everything.

No, I don't tell Marina
anything,
don't worry.

Lately I don't tell Marina
anything.

Lately we... barely talk.

Christ!

- I know. It's a bit...
- Is that Javi?

Heavy, yeah, it's heavy.

- Lately we don't connect...
- Javi Corretja?

- Fuck...
- Hey, look who's here!

I don't believe it.

What's up, Victor? Long time!

- Marc, my brother-in-law. Javi.
- Hi, how are you?

We studied Architecture
together.

- This is great, huh?
- Yes. What are you doing here?

Weren't you living in Paris?
You got a job with...

With Jean Nouvel,
an amazing project.

But I didn't take it
because I got divorced.

And I didn't want to be
apart from my kids.

I screwed up, because...

a chance like that, if you miss
it,

it's gone forever.

It's gone forever.

I had it all, and now, I have
nothing.

I've got nothing.
Nothing at all.

But I'm fine, I'm fine.

Do you live around here?

Yes, I got a room.
A lady's renting me a room.

Great, a bachelor flat.

Though I sublet it sometimes,

for a bit of money.
Do you know of anyone?

- Okay, okay.
- Great to see you. Merry
Christmas.

- Nice to meet you.
- Same here.

- Merry Christmas, man.
- Oh, man.

- Great to see you, Victor.
- See you.

- Is that my wallet?
- This is your wallet, right?

- Sure, it's mine.
- There you go. Here.

I'll cry the sorrows of divorce.

- That of Mom and Dad.
- What are you doing, buddy?

Composing. For my first disc:
"Parents Apart, Broken Heart".

Dad, can we talk?

Yes.

- Sit down.
- What is it?

I read that for men

the company of another male
is a big help in times like
this.

And you being so unstable,

you're going to need
someone strong by your side.

And?

I'll stay with you.
I won't leave you, you rascal.

Oh, that's great! Really.

I'm so grateful, Juan.
I really am. But...

Hold it, because...

there's something you should
know.

What is it?

Mom...

What's wrong with Mom?

Mom... isn't well.

- What has she got?
- Well...

Is she sick?

She's sick, yes. Mom's sick.

She has a rare disease.

What's it called?

Frender Smorken Syndrome.

Is she going to get very sick?

It's not... that bad.

She's sick, but not that sick.
Do you know what I mean?

If "not sick" is 0

and "really sick" is 10,

she's between 8 and 9.

9?

Around 8.5, Juan.

Don't you worry, son.

Worry a bit,
like she's going to die,

but she's not going to die,
okay?

But she needs you more than
ever.

Just don't say anything,
she doesn't want you to know.

It'll be our secret.

That's why she's looked
so bad lately.

That's why, son.

It all fits.

But that's it now, eh?
Don't think about it, forget it.

And go back to your music.

It's a good distraction.

CHRISTMAS TALENT CONTEST

Sorry to call you,
but it's a delicate matter.

Juan hasn't opened
his mouth all day.

And it's Juan, it's not like
him.
I understand your situation.

What situation?

He told me about your illness.

It must be very tough for
someone

as young as you to face death.
It's very brave.

Death?

- Son of a b...!
- Tone.

- No, no. Yes. Bastard.
- Your tone. We're in a...

No, no. God damn him...

Excuse me.

Girls, that's no good.
No, not that dance,

it's not inclusive, it's sexist,
it's Latin cultural
appropriation.

Give it a rethink, okay?

Sevillanas, a chotis,
something from here. Thanks,
girls.

Sorry, it's a talent contest.

And you don't have any, right?

Juan, let's go.

No, no. You know what?
At the last moment

they found a miracle cure.
Lucky, huh?

Yes, I only want you
to be alright, Mom.

Now you mention it, you know
I've been a bit sad lately

with the divorce...?

And I know what you
could do to make me happy.

What? I'd do anything.

Really? I heard that there's
a talent contest at school.

I'd love it if you'd enter it.

Shall I dedicate a song to you?

Dad said it wasn't a good idea.

Dad doesn't see your talent,
honey. I do.

I know what I'll sing.
The way I...

No, no, no, no.
Don't preview it for me.

You surprise me there.

Dedicate it to me in front of
the school, loud and by
yourself.

- By myself?
- Yes.

Won't I make a fool of myself?

You? Please!

You have a beautiful voice
and rhythm in your blood.

- I'm not so sure.
- Be sure, be sure.

It'll be terrific.

And when everyone applauds,
remember it was thanks to your
mom.

What's your deal?
Did you tell Juan I was dying?

- Oh, you found out.
- Yes. How dare you...

Okay, you want to go to Russia,
but you went way too far.

In my defense,
you shouldn't have found out.

- How dare you do such a thing!
- I'm sorry, okay?

Did you think I'd stand idly by?
You're wrong.

Is this a rebellion?
Did "Teen Queen" inspire you?

Excuse me?

Let's get some coffee.

Alright, Flora...

You think I can't play dirty.

- A latte. Do you want anything?
- Nothing, thanks.

What's that about playing dirty?

I can be as nasty as you.

- I don't think so.
- No?

- You're incapable of it?
- Incapable?

- Yes. Do you know why?
- Why?

You've got mother's guilt,

you're genetically incapable
of being mean to your children.

That comment is disgusting,

but one day Alexia's pacifier
fell on the floor

and I didn't disinfect it.

Did you get over it alone
or did you need therapy?

I bathed Juan as a baby
without taking the water
temperature.

I'm amazed, Flora, really.

I dropped Sara when she was a
baby
and she hit her head hard.

- That's a lie.
- It is a lie, it is!

How could I let that happen?

Listen up.

I let them watch R-rated movies.

With me they have mass-produced
pastries full of palm oil.

I've never dropped a baby,
but when Sara was three months

I whacked her head on a doorway
and she cried for three hours.

- That's a lie!
- It's true.

Touch her here,
she still got a dent.

You disgust me!

Accept it, your maternal
instinct
stops you from being mean.

Stick my maternal instinct up
your...

Wow...

You want war?

- If you do, yes.
- Yes, I do.

Bring it on.

As of tomorrow,
the kids will be with one of us.

- Go on, you start.
- Why?

Because I said so first.

Padlock.

Clover. Double!

- I won.
- Good morning.

- Hi.
- I'm going.

- Fine.
- 'Bye then.

'Bye.

Good luck on your first day,
Victor.

Alexia!

What?

Aren't you making breakfast
for your brother and sister?

Why me?

When Mom goes, who do you
think will do the housework?

- You'll have to do it.
- Dad, that's so sexist.

I'm not sexist or feminist.

Then you make breakfast.

Don't raise your voice at me!
I'm your father!

And while you live under my
roof...

This isn't hotel,

all you do here is eat.

The gravy train is over
for you, it's over.

Guys, today we're doing
activities with Dad.

Flora.

Doctor...

Edu, my shift's over.
By card, please.

I'm not here about that.

I don't know if this
is romantic or stupid.

I thought about dislocating
my shoulder to see you, but...

- that'd be crazy, right?
- Crazy and a waste of time.

I'm not a traumatologist.

Right, sure.

I actually just wanted to
give you this. Merry Christmas.

- What?
- A gift. It's a cap.

My mom knitted it,
but I chose the colours.

- You live with your mother?
- Well,...

or does she live with me?

It's the chicken or the egg,
it depends on how to look at it.

- Whose house is it?
- Hers.

- There you go.
- From that viewpoint, I live
with her.

But it's temporary,
until I find a better job.

- What do you do?
- I print T-shirts.

Is it going well?

- Why?
- I hate it and I make peanuts.

- Like everyone, right.
- It's not even my job.

I work for my uncle, part-time.
He says I'm on trial.

Right.

- Hello.
- Hello.

- We had an emergency.
- An emergency...

- Yes.
- Yes.

Edu, we have to go.
Do you fancy a coffee?

- Sure, whenever you like.
- There you are.

I'm taking the sandwich.

- See you later.
- Goodbye...

- Goodbye.
- What was he saying to you?

Guys, this is not a game.

Paintball can be dangerous.

At under two yards, it hurts.
Under one yard, it really hurts.

Check this out.

Well, parents against kids,

kids against parents.

- No quarter, okay?
- Sure.

Dad, I can't get my glasses in.

Then no glasses, that's it.

This isn't about seeing,
it's about feeling.

So... may the best man win.

- What's up with him?
- Hi!

Stop, stop, stop!
I told you, it stings!

I'll stop, I'll stop. Now I
will.

Okay, I admit it, I'm a chicken.

I wanted to do something
cultural.

- This game is very violent.
- Juanito, I'm sorry!

I surrender!

Never surrender, son! Ever!

Before you know it, your life
is:

take the kids to school,
go to work, shift,

after shift after shift...
And you know what happens?

You've never made any
of your dreams come true.

- That's why I need to go to
Africa.
- Sure.

Shall we talk about Victor's
"minor"?
You asked me about Claudia.

They're going to live together
'cause they've got loads in
common.

And my kids will adore her
and called her "young mommy".

Yes, because at that age
it's easy to win over kids.

Give the older one some drugs,
let the middle on play Fortnite,

singing classes for the
littlest,
and me, all alone.

And the girl is so pretty,
she's super pretty.

She's got a face like this,

full of light, like she has
light bulbs for breakfast.

She's got slender ankles
ad legs like a sparrow.

If spill ketchup here
and look down,

I get a harp hanging here,
like this...

And this, look at this!

With what I have left over here,
Claudia could make a leg,

a functioning leg.

And I'll be all alone. You know
why?
Because I use these things.

After breastfeeding three kids,
this is what you get:

nipple shields!
A prize for the lady!

Shot!

- Dad, I hurt all over!
- Right.

- I want to go with Mom.
- Let's get some Ibuprofen.

I'm terrible. This wouldn't
have happened with your mom.

Anyway, we had a laugh...

I don't like this scooter here.

- Is that your mother?
- Is that Mom?

Yes, and she's smashed.

- What is this? Are you crazy?
- What? What's wrong?

- Are you drunk?
- No, no. Me? Drunk?

I took the M-30, no problem.
What's wrong?

You think you're smarter than
me, huh?

You're out of line, Flora,
way out of line.

What are those paint marks?

Like I'd tell you!

Fucking bastard!

No! No!

- Did I hit it?
- I hate you!

Why? Why? Why?

Relax, your dad will buy you
another scooter.

Mom is evil, evil!

Do you think this
is going to traumatize us?

- Probably, but there are pills.
- Yes, pills, that's right.

Alright, guys,
see you in the yard, okay?

Alexia.

- Do you think they'll get
divorced?
- No. Don't worry, okay? No.

Alright. Alright, alright...

Our parents argued, okay?
But all parents argue.

- But mine argue because of me.
- Probably,

you cause a lot of trouble.

Juan!

- No, no. Guys, no.
- What's wrong?

My folks are getting divorced.

Bummer.
My parents got divorced last
year.

It sucks. Good luck, guys.
Anything you need, tell me.

Well, you could cheer me up
at Simon's party, right?

Your brother's listening.
I'm better than the "Satisfier".

I can hear you.

C'mon, go to class, you two.
Let's go, move it.

Well...

- And what's his name?
- Adri.

- How long have you been
together?
- I don't know, Mom. Not long.

- Have you done "adult stuff"?
- Mom!

Have fun, but be sensible.

Tonight's a big night for you.

- Why?
- I don't know, I imagine so.

A party, your friends, your
boyfriend,

vacant rooms, alcohol...

Maybe tonight you'll give
your "first flute lesson".

Sure, sure.

Well, well!

Alexia.

Are you sure?

- Yeah, sure. You?
- Very. I'm right into it.

Hi, my little cuties.

- Mom! No, no...
- I couldn't find you. Gosh!

- What are you doing here?
- Sorry, you left this in the
car.

- "XL". Congrats, champ.
- Mom, get out!

Sorry, honey, but you
and I have to have a chat.

- What chat?
- What we didn't finish in the
car.

Because sex is a wonderful thing
if two people love each other.

- Mom!
- But you have to know the risk.

- I'll leave you to it.
- You're not going anywhere, big
boy.

This will do you good.
Come on, sit down.

There are 20 types of STDs.

The first and main one is...
genital herpes. I have a photo.

See the pus on the gland?
Gross, huh?

It's one symptom of gonorrhoea.
If you think that's crazy,

you don't want to know
how it smells. You puke.

We also have trichomoniasis.
It's caused by a parasite.

Watch this, this is really cool.

In women
it usually affects the vagina,

but in men it's the urethra,

or as I like to call it:
"the corridor of death".

Oh, and the next is...
That's all we've got!

Now I will leave you lovebirds,

I don't want you to think
I'm being a nuisance. 'Bye.

Do you have any Björk?

- Mom, will you go, please?
- Why?

- What do you mean, 'why'?
- Don't get cocky. I'm your
mother.

Alexia! How are you?
Welcome, I didn't see you.

- Thanks.
- You never mentioned your
friend.

She's my mother!

I'm Simón, host of this event.

- I'm Flora.
- Would you like a drink?

Okay.

I love you, you look gorgeous.

I'm a MILF!

DAD, GET HER OUT OF HERE

I'm a MILF!

My daughter's girl friends.
You're so nice!

- So you're going to Africa.
- I am.

I love women like you.

Women who aren't afraid
to explore new territory,

even if it's "virgin".

I like my territory
a bit more "explored", eh?

- Dad, take her away!
- Flora.

- What are you doing?
- Talking. Is that not allowed?

She's insane.

She started telling Adrián
about gonorrhoea and whatever.

Gonorrhoea?

- That's a good one.
- Great. All my idea.

- She just about put a condom on
him.
- I'll let you, if you want.

- And who is this?
- A friend of mine.

- I'm going to dance. Move.
- No, no, no. Mom!

Out of the way, Mom's coming.

Mom...

Will you stop?!
God, I hate you!

- Don't get mad, dance with me.
- No, stop, leave me alone!

We can all play this little
game.

What little game?

This one.

Do you think I can't make
a fool of myself like you?

I don't believe it.

Please!

What's he doing?

No! No! No!

No! No! No!

Stop! Really! No, no!

How do you stop this?

Cut it out! Both of you, go
home!

Yes, let's go, let's go. Let's
go.

- I love you, you look gorgeous!
- Get out.

- Good God!
- You're pathetic. Move it.

You're worse.

Where was it?

Oh, this way.

Leave your "Treasure Island"
works
on the table.

Sara, you brought Fluffy.

Sure. I told you he'd be fine.

He smells bad.

Right, well...

- I didn't have time to wash him.
- And he's fatter.

Right, I fed him a lot this
week.

Come here, Fluffy.

- Don't laugh.
- It's funny.

Look, they even made a TikTok
video.

He told me it was a mouse
he bought in a pet store.

- I didn't know about this.
- Honey, he made a mistake.

- Your dad's not a zoologist.
- Everyone hates me and it's his
fault.

No, people will understand.
Look, nothing on the parents
chatline.

This is intolerable!
We had to get a vaccine!

- See? They're vaccinating the
rat.
- That's the kids, Mom.

Unless you let me deceive you,
I can't console you, okay?

I don't want to go
to Dad's new place.

What new place?

What place?

What do you think?

It smells like bad milk.

Well, well, well! You're!

You're so lovely, so nice.

Your rooms are down the end.

Welcome, and salutations.

- See you later, eh?
- Ciao.

Who's that, Dad. She scares me.

Angustias, your great aunt.

- Didn't she die?
- Yes, but she's better now.

Come on, let's choose your beds.

Angus, there's no paper.

- Dad, there's a man there.
- Here you are. Welcome!

Guys, this is Javi.

He's an old friend
who's my roommate now.

Roommates. Are you ready
for the "party house"?

- Party?
- Your dad's a party animal.

Dad, I've got exams.
I have to study.

Girl, what about meeting people,
having experiences?

Are you going to skip
the exam of life?

Victor is an idiot.

He just moved into the place
of a friend he hasn't seen for
years

- as if I'd thrown him out.
- What? They'll crush him.

That's desertion of the conjugal
home
in mid-proceedings.

He can forget shared custody.

Oh, maybe he's not such an
idiot.

What do the kids think of all
this?

Remember how bad we felt
when Dad left home.

Yes.

And when we met
his nutty girlfriend?

"She's Dad's little friend",
he told us.

Remember? It was awful.

Flora. It's my turn, with you.

Yes, yes.

This is Edu.

Hello.

- Hello.
- Hello.

- And... who is Edu?
- Edu is Mom's little friend

who maybe one day will be
more than Mom's little friend.

- You're Alexia. You're Sara.
- Yes.

And you're little Jonás, the
singer.

My name's Juan.

The know-it-all rat of the
family.
Great to meet you.

What a nice house.
You can smell the memories.

Good memories, bad memories...

Edu, life's given you a second
chance,
you'll have a family again.

Don't screw it up now.

And... what's here?

The kitchen: the heart of the
home.

Smells great. Chicken wings, eh?
My favourite.

How nice.

Wow, kickboxing.
You didn't say Juan was a
fighter.

It's not Juan's. It's Alexia's.

That's great, you have to learn
how to defend yourself,

so you avoid bullying.
I should've done that.

Though I didn't need to because
I'm so fast, they never got me.

- Really?
- Yes. Want to try? You'll see.

I'm hard to hit. Try it.
Yeah, yeah, try it.

See that?

Give it to me, like they taught
you
in that course, not like some
posh...

- Alexia!
- Sorry, sorry. Are you alright?

Yeah, yeah.

- It's just...
- She just winged me.

Bitch.

- She really got you, huh?
- No, I'm fine.

I brought you a gift.

Flora told me you didn't
decorate the house,

what with the divorce
and the sadness...

I went to a market.
Look, so funny, a dancing tree.

Everybody dance!
Shall we dance like the tree?

Cool, huh?

December 16 and you still
don't have the tree up.

What kind of family is this?
Let's all go get a tree.

Let's all go, as a family.
Jonás, put on your coat.

- My name's Juan!
- Let's go.

- Before there all gone.
- You've got no idea.

Where are we buying the tree?

You don't buy a tree.

A tree is like nose hair,
you have to pull it out
yourself.

Good God!

Shall we sing as a family?
To be a tip-top driver...

Yes, maybe some other day.

Well, here we are.
Buying a tree is a waste of
money.

A natural fir tree is better.
It's more attractive and
ecological.

- Those aren't fir trees.
- How do we fit it into the
house?

We cut off the tip,
it's the prettiest part.

This kid...

I came here every year
with my ex-wife. She'd say:

"I never want to come back here,
I hate these trees, I hate
you..."

- It was like a family tradition.
- You were married?

- Yeah, sure.
- Why did you get divorced?

Alexia, no.

- Sorry.
- No, I don't mind telling you.

She cheated on me
with my own brother.

I lost my wife, my whole family,

and I fell into
an infinite black abyss

that I never thought
I'd get out of. But...

look at me, over the moon.

Well, family, say hello to our
tree.

Hello, tree!

Say hello.

- Hello, tree.
- Hello, hello.

Dear fir tree,
you're coming to our home

and we're going to give you
loads of love and affection.

Right, family?

This is how we die, isn't it?

Watch out for the wood chips!

What are you doing with this
guy?

That's love sometimes, okay?
And if you live with me,

he'll be living there,
and you'll have to live with
him.

Merry Christmas!

Give him a chance,
I'm sure he has his good points.

Timber!

Yeah, right. So I see.

- Damn.
- I almost got you, eh?

Just as well you came, Dad.

Put your pyjamas on,

- I'll give you a goodnight kiss.
- No need.

Well played, eh?
Very well played.

- Thanks.
- That man scares me.

- Can I sleep with you?
- Yes, of course.

They must hate me, right?

But you haven't won.

Did you see their faces?
Forget Russia, Victor.

You can never beat me.
Do you know why?

- Why?
- You're weak, you're fragile.

Oh, yeah? Don't touch me,
put that finger away.

That's why you need to bolster
your virility with that girl,
right?

- My virility?
- Yes.

What's wrong with my virility?

As far as I know,

my virility and I have never
had any problems.

None.

- Give up, Victor.
- I'm not giving up.

- Why not?
- Just... no.

- You do know I can hurt you?
- Oh, really?

Yes.

By the way,
your bald spot is showing.

Don't worry, I'll send you
postcards from Africa.

We had a great family time,
right?

It's not the amount of time
you spend, but the quality.

What about New Year's Eve?
Here or at my mother's place?

Edu, we have to talk.
This isn't working out.

- It's not working out?
- No.

First I've heard of it.

What an awkward silence.

Can you turn that off, please?

What's going on?
Are you breaking up with me?

Yes, I am.

At least have the decency
to tell me to my face.

- Edu, I'm breaking up with you.
- You don't mean it, I can
tell...

My bag, my bag!
It's on the cabinet...

Careful. Careful!!

Mom!

Mom?

- What did you say?
- Nothing.

- Did you say "Mom"?
- No.

- What the hell is that?
- Coffee.

- Coffee?
- Yes.

I really like this brand.

And... people don't have it.

Oh, fuck.

You and I have something
special,
yes or no? Gimme a kiss.

The middle child is "special.

- She's a bit...
- Juan, come here.

- Hey!
- Dad, our room is full of
people.

- It smells weird.
- I don't know, guys,

work it out, sleep in the
bathtub.

- What do you want?
- You're not getting a tattoo?

Shall we all get a tattoo?

Let's go to the bathtub. C'mon.

Don't be a buzzkill!
Young folks suck!

He's dead.

- What's wrong, guys?
- We have to go to school.

Oh, right, I'm ready.

Sure. I was waiting for you.

Take a look at this tattoo,
it stings a bit.

- What's wrong?
- God! Dad, is that us?

What?

It's really infected.
You have to go to the hospital.

Like I'm going to the hospital!

This is normal.
It goes a bit red.

It's fine, I'll put some ice on
it.

Let's see...

Fuck, it stings!

Fuck.

Careful, you'll slip.
They spilled some peas.

- C'mon, guys, to school.
- C'mon.

No, Sara, not you. You...

You know you're suspended
for a week

- because of that rat mischief.
- That was your fault.

It was my fault?
Really? You think so?

Think about it, mull it over.

You're staying here with
great-aunt Angustias. And think.

Think about it.
You'll have a great time.

And your auntie's old,
so look after her. It's
practice.

Your caregiving is... Sara,
Sara...

What a hangover!

Right, guys, today's problem:
"Pilar has 12 euros

and Unai has 16.

How many euros does Pilar have
compared to Unai?"

Now I think about it, that's
bad.
It's not fair.

Why does Pilar have fewer euros?

That's the glass ceiling.
I wrote it up because...

Sexism, it's put into your head
when you're little,

and it still happens to me
today...

Today, damn it. No...

Sorry. They have the same, okay?

Pilar has 16 and Unai has 16,
because that's fair.

They have the same. Equality.
And Unai is black too.

And...

Juan, are you alright?

I'm very tired.

Why are you so tired?

I slept in a bathtub.

I feel awful.
I don't feel so good.

- What's wrong, Angustias?
- I don't know, I'm dying.

I'll see what I can find
on the Internet.

My great aunt is very sick,
what's wrong with her?

- Do you have a headache?
- You bet.

"Difficulty breathing".

Angustias, is it hard to
breathe?

I feel terrible.
I don't know, I don't know...

Final diagnosis: Imminent death.

Angustias! Take this, please.

Thank you.

Hello, Principal.

- Look at your little face.
- I've got a hangover.

- Do you know why you're here?
- No.

A friend of mine, a
psychologist,
wants to speak to you.

Like some candy?

- Can I?
- Sure.

We have some questions.

I want you to answer them
honestly.

- Why did you sleep in a bathtub?
- To not bother my dad.

I don't want him
to call me a buzzkill again.

Right. Does your father know
that you slept in a bathtub?

I don't know, he was so drunk
I don't know if he realized.

Can I speak to his siblings?

Mix the permanganate
with hydrogen peroxide.

Fuck, she's hot.
She kissed you in the end?

- Sure we kissed.
- Seriously?

Not "kiss" in the strict sense
of the word, you know?

- More emotionally?
- Right, I mean,

physical contact is overrated.

- What are you doing? My phone!
- Deleting the video.

Alexia, you can delete it,
but not what happened between
us.

- Simón, cut it out.
- Look, I'm having a bad day,
okay?

I'm warning you, shut your mouth
or I'll crack your fucking
skull.

Watch your language,
I'm going to be your new dad.

Shut up!

Holly shit!

- I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.
- She's racist.

No, my God!
That's not why I hit him.

Then why?
Because I'm gay? Sure.

Homophobe. Homophobe.

If I'd known he was gay
I wouldn't have hit him.

- That's even worse.
- Sexual discrimination.

You're butting in,
I'll fucking smack you next.

I can say what I want,
I've got freedom of expression.

The country's going downhill
because of people like you.

Girl, are you crazy?!
You're crazy!

That was meant for you.

- What are you doing?
- Sorry.

Yes?

- Hello.
- Hello, good morning.

Dad, Mom,
they pushed candy on me

so I'd tell them everything.

Children, can you go
outside for a moment?

We have to talk to your parents.

Don't have kids, I mean it.

Don't have kids, ever.

No, it's a joke.

It's a joke.
I'm always kidding, right?

I'm not kidding, I'm serious.
Really, really.

I'm coming!

Your children told us
what's been going on lately.

And Alexia's been reported
for homophobia and xenophobia.

- What?
- What?

And Sara for poisoning an old
lady.

- Angustias?
- She's stable,

but in hospital with an overdose
of analgesics and
anti-inflammatories.

- Fuck...
- Who's Angustias?

I'll tell you later.

I don't know what to say.

With the divorce and
everything...

We let it get out of hand.

We did.

Officers, I've known
this family for years.

Yes, many years.

And though they've never
volunteered for excursions...

- Because we have a lot of work.
- Yes, loads.

...or for open days
or end-of-year celebrations,...

they're a good family.

Thank you, Carmen.

- It's been a tough time.
- Very tough.

Well, if the principal is so
sure,

we won't file a report.

- Really?
- Thank you so much, really.

- Oh, that's great.
- Thank you.

That's great. Please...

I thought you were going
to take our kids away.

- We are.
- Actually,

your children asked us to take
them
to their aunt and uncle.

Not to their mom or dad.

They'll stay with Marc and
Marina.

All these hours

of rivers and delirium,
where do they go?

Where do they go?

- It wasn't enough...
- Thanks.

We said we never wanted
to have kids, and look, eh?

It sucks, huh?

Everyone...

loses their way and I...

I want to lose myself

along the way.

- It all sounds better...
- Merry Christmas. Enjoy it.

- ...if it sounds with you.
- Merry Christmas. Enjoy it.

...a bit too much. But anyway...

Look who's here.

- Alright then...
- Hi.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- How are you?
- Hi.

I'll go get some good seats.

Actually, the seats don't
matter,
but this is so awkward.

- Go.
- Okay.

Thanks. Ciao.

How are you?

Well, getting by.

- And you?
- Good. I'm good.

Flora, I wanted to apologize.

I've thought it over a lot...

and I'll stay with the kids.

You go to Africa.

No. No, Victor. Thanks,
but I'm not going anywhere.

- Are we at it again?
- No, no. No, no. Look...

I want to tell you that
I want custody of the kids,

because these days
without them have been shit.

In the end, you know what?
I couldn't be a bad mother.

- However much I wanted, I
couldn't.
- Well, I think...

- you could, eh?
- No.

- Hey, I tell you...
- No, sorry.

Hey, Flora,

right now you feel guilty,
like I do,

about what we did, okay?

But you could, hey!

Shall I remind you of what you
did?
You did some things...

- Okay, Victor.
- Okay.

- I'm staying with the kids.
- No.

- Yes. And you'll do your
building.
- No, Flora, please.

- Victor, you win.
- No, you win.

- Go to Africa, I'll stay with
the kids.
- No, you win.

No, I can't win. You know why?

If I give up, I can't win.
That's how it goes.

- Why?
- Because I said it first.

- You came.
- Good evening, Julián.

- Merry Christmas.
- Likewise.

That sweater is so...

Yes, beautiful. Yes.
My mother made it.

It has all the religions:
Christianity, Buddhism, Judaism,

Hebrew and Egyptian.
It's inclusive embroidery.

Well, let's see how
the soloist performs today.

- Soloist?
- Yes. Juanito. Yes. Yes.

- Yes.
- He doesn't have a voice,

but the kid's keen,
that's the main thing.

A pity he's up against
kids with so much talent

because that can be crushing.
Anyway, let's not stress out,

just enjoy it.

Students, families,
"everypersons",
come inside. It's starting.

- Inclusive language.
- Yeah, yeah.

Flora, can you explain...?

Okay. I didn't tell you,
but Juanito's going to sing.

- By himself?
- By himself.

- What's he going to sing?
- One by Rocío Jurado, I think.

- Seriously?
- Yes.

- Flora, Juan sings terribly.
- I know.

His voice is awful,
it's weak and grating.

I know, but I convinced him.

Let me go backstage
and talk to him.

I'll go, I convinced him.
It's my problem, I'll fix it.

No, let me go.
I'll talk to him man to man.

- I know what to say.
- That's bullshit.

What?

What you just said is bullshit.

Look at your face.

You think I don't know
what you want to do?

I know you Victor,
you want to be the superhero

in a cape, hug the boy,
and say at the last moment:

"Don't go out and make a fool
of yourself in front of
everyone".

And you'll get custody because
the boy wants to go with you.

Do you think those blue eyes
get you everything?

You're crazy.
You know that, right?

No, I know you, Victorin.

Welcome to this special night,
the talent contest.

We have a wild performance,

the school's rockingest band

playing a Christmas classic.
Rock!

- Okay, you go.
- Sure I will.

Explain why you wanted him
to sing before and not now.

I will, no problem.

- Watch me go in.
- I'll wait for you here.

Backstage is this way!

Victor!

Victor, come here!

Where are you going? Victor!

If I catch you, you've had it!

No, no, no! No!

Okay, I can't take it anymore.

I give up, I give up.

Flora?

- What are you doing?
- And you? Why did you run off?

You're incredible.

I know.

- What's that?
- I don't know.

- Thank you! This is for you!
- Thank you!

Wild. Wild, eh? That was...

Victorin...

And what would music be
without backing vocals?

A big hand for the Simones

and the primary school choir.
Yes, that's right.

Juan, good luck.

Now for tonight's second
performance.

A big hand for
- a little guy from 1
- C,

Juan,

with a version of
"The Way I Love You". Great
song.

- No!
- Juan.

I wanted to dedicate
this song to my mother.

No, no, no...

Hi.

Excuse me!

The way I love you,

the way I love you,

be sure,

be sure...

Juan, no!

No one will love you...

This song has to be revised.
It's...

"No one will love you".
Other people can love you.

It's pushing monogamous,
standardized relationships.

Nobody...

- He's started, he's started.
- There he is, there he is.

- How embarrassing, my boy!
- No psychologist can fix this.

How ridiculous!

We have to help him. Hold on.

Guys,

how about we support Juan
and sing with him?

- No way, he's the competition.
- That's so mean.

This nasty competitiveness
they teach you...

You little angels can piss off!

- That's it, put this on.
- What do I do with this?

Go out and be silly with him.
You're his father, fix it.

I love you with rush of the
wind.

I love you with...

I love you
like a child its morning...

It's getting worse.

Come here.
Do you want to make 10 euros?

Look who's here,
the rat killer's mother!

- Fine, make it 20.
Flora?

Simon, I need you.

- Can you play an instrument?
- Now you need me, right?

Juan.

It's me, Dad.

- Hi, Dad.
- Juanito, you relax,

it'll all be fine, okay?
It'll all be fine.

Okay.

Quiet! A bit of respect, please!

C'mon. Go on. Go on.

- The way I love you...
- Good. You're doing great.

The way I love you...

Flora, you haven't answered
any of my calls.

I'm sorry, but I promise,
if you go out and help Juan,

we'll talk about us, okay?

- About us?
- Yes.

Go on, get out there.

Here, 20 euros. Go.

- Adrián, let's go.
- Hello, madam.

- "Madam", all of you, go!
- Where?

Go, go! What a slow generation!
Go, speed it up.

- ...look no further.
- Be sure.

No one will love you.

Good!

Go, Juan!
You're doing great, okay?

Go, Juan, you can do it!
You're doing great!

Go, little guy!

The way I love you...

The way I love you,...

Great, honey!

- ...look no further.
- Look no further.

- Look no further.
- Louder!

Come on!

- No one will love you...
- We need more light.

No one will love you...

- Backlights!
- Backlights. Now!

...because...

I love you
with the might of the seas.

I love you
with the rush of the wind.

I love you over distance and
time.

I love you
with my soul and my flesh.

I love you like a child its
morning.

I love you like a man his
memory.

I love you screaming and in
silence.

I love you in a superhuman way.

I love you with all my soul.

I love you
with the might of the seas.

I love you
with the rush of the wind.

- I love you over distance and
time.
- Wear a condom!

I love you
with my soul and my flesh.

Hooray for this great band!

Hooray!

Hooray for my sister Sara

who, though he has
passive-aggressive,

almost psychotic behaviour,
we love her!

- But let's find a psychologist!
- Hooray!

Hooray for my sister and her
boyfriend
who will finally...

screw in peace!

Hooray!

And hooray for my parents!

Hooray!

My parents, in mid-divorce,
in mid-separation, were awful,

putting their kids in the
middle,

unable to do it like two adults,

led this family to disaster.

But let the parents in the
same situation, say "Hooray".

Get up and say: "Hooray!"

- Hooray!
- Hooray!

We kids find out everything

and if can't handle each other,
get divorced!

Get divorced!

- But do it right!
- But do it right!

That's it! You said it, kid!

- Come here, honey.
- Great!

- C'mon, honey. Come here.
- Great!

Victor.

Wait.

We're... outside, okay?

And, well, you guys did great.

You too.

Yes, "we" did great it's
because...

together we're pretty
incredible, no?

Yes, she's right.

Together we're unstoppable.

Exactly, the team only works
when
it's complete. We have to stay
united.

Victor...

What are you doing?

I was going to kiss you.

A kiss now, what for?

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't want to get back with
you
and you don't either.

That's why we're getting
divorced.

Yes, I feel a bit ridiculous
now.

After what I did on the stage,

that's rich, huh?

Are you still in love with me?

No.

No way. Are you in love with me?

No.

I'm scared about
everything that's coming.

Me too.

But I love you loads.

I love you loads too.

- No, no.
- Oh, that's right.

You're obsessed.

We did really badly.

- It got out of hand.
- It couldn't have been worse.

We want to apologize.

- We love you so much.
- Loads.

We forgive you, you drags.

Really?

Thank you.

Juanito, come here.

What do you want?

If you need,
because you're so angry,

to slap me or...

- Juan!
- How about that!

- It was a figure of speech.
- Jeez!

Don't teach him to hit people.
Give him money, he's sad.

Teach him how to beg already.
Shit...

But it did me good, it did.

"...both parties have decided
to request the dissolution

of their marriage bond
by mutual accord,

accompanied by the proposal

of a signed regulatory
agreement".
If you'll be so kind...

Go. You.

Go on.

Well... that's everything.

- Is that the last one?
- Yes.

Well...

You keep them. Just in case.

I keep them, right? Yes.

Let's go.

Hey...

We might watch "Home Alone".
Maybe you feel like it.

You want me to stay?
It's not my day.

Sure, it's not your day.

But it doesn't matter, does it?

It doesn't matter, does it?

Well.

- Here goes.
- Here goes.

- I've seen this movie 1000
times.
- Well, 1,001.

- Guys, look who's back.
- Dad!

- Hi, Dad!
- Hi!

- Dad!
- Hi, Dad!

Are we watching a movie or what?

- Dad, look at this cool tree!
- Let's see it.

Victor.

You have to pick up Alexia
from guitar class, I won't make
it.

And Juan asked me for some
skates.

It scares me,
we'll have to talk about it.

Oh, something else.

Look what just happened.

See? "Positive".

Positive.

We have to talk.

You can't "hangle"...!

You can't hang...

You can't hank...

The harp, the harp!

I'm hurt. So, so hurt.

But the only way leave
a toxic relationship is...

to leave it.

- You know what I think?
- I'm so interested in your
opinion.

Workplace romances suck b...

Who do the chicks follow?
The hen.

Jesus H. Christ!

Again!

Look at her.

If she has a boyfriend, fine.
If she wants to be with a boy,
fine.

If she wants to be with a girl,
that's fine too, right?

No. I mean, yes. Sure.
It's fine, okay?

- Great. "Hello, 21st century".
- Of course.

- Are we "basic heteros"? Never.
- Never.

- Girl...
- Juan!

I'm doing great here.

Alright...

This is a fu...

- I'm going.
- What? Where to?

I've got a Tinder date.
On Tinder it never stops.

I admit I've got a ton of
"matches",
but I like everyone.

Why wouldn't I have matches?
Have you seen this girl?

Don't look at me like that.
It's like you...

play with a girl at school.

And another day you feel like
playing with another. Or a boy.

Or a boy and a girl.
You'll have love for everyone.

If you want, I can give you
a "Dutch rudder".

You grab it,
I get behind you,

and I move your arm,

so it feels like someone else
is doing it.

- I'll do it for you for 20
euros.
- He's kidding!

You fell for it.

Yes.

I'll do it for you for 10.
5 euros? Do it for you?

No! Just kidding!

Hey, it's a great anecdote,
but you have to tell it.

It all sounds better

if it is with you.

For a long time now

the flowers say they'll come.

They will come.

It will be spring,

rowing against the wind

and where it will go,

where it will go.

Everyone...

loses their way, and I...

I want to lose myself

along the way.

It all sounds better

if it is with you.

For a long time now

the flowers say they'll come.

They will come.

It will be spring,

rowing against the wind

and where it will go,

Everyone...

loses their way, and I...

I want to lose myself

along the way.

It all sounds better

if it is with you.

When you find

what is needed

and you see the end.

When you have nothing
to run away from.

Give me the air

that I need

and fly away.

When you find

what is needed

and you see the end.

When you have nothing
to run away from.

Give me the air

that I need

and fly away.

When you find

what is needed

and you see the end.

When you have nothing
to run away from.

Give me the air

that I need

and fly away.

- Lindsay Moxham
- LASERFILM