All language subtitles for The_Haunted_Hathaways_S01E09.Haunted Play.eng

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- Frankie, you're starring
in your school play.

Aren't you nervous?

- No, because mom here's
a great director.

And unlike most
of my compliments,

I don't even mean that
sarcastically.

- Aww.

- Back in New York,
I wrote and directed

several
of Frankie's school plays.

I guess
I was the obvious choice

having grown up in the theater.

- You were a child actor?

- No, I lived in a theater.

Dad thought he could convert it
to a cool house.

He could not.

But we were thrilled
when Frankie's new school

agreed to do my latest work,
monsters in your mouth.

- Well, I'm not exactly
into horror,

but I think Frankie's gonna
make a great mummy.

- Oh, she's not a mummy.
It's a play about oral hygiene.

Meet detective dental floss,

the number one cavity cop
on the force.

- Hey, cool mummy costume.

- She's not a mummy.
It's a play about oral...

ah, never mind.

Hey, Taylor,
can I count on you and Miles

to help out in the bakery
while I work on the play?

- You're my mother.
Of course I'd love to help.

- Aw.

- I get to keep
all the tips, right?

Tay needs a new pair of boots.

- That's my girl.

- Speaking of tips,

I've got a list of ideas

which I really think
could boost business.

- Hmm.
- Drink this in...

banana bread.

- Yeah.

So our new Baker clem
will be there to supervise

if you need anything.

As for me,
it is back to the rewrite.

Ah, the pen.

My greatest enemy,

my dearest friend.

This is so fun!
[Giggles]

- I'm so loving this.

I'm so hating this.

- But you just said you...

- I'm an actor, Miles.
Try to keep up.

- I thought you liked doing
mom's plays.

- I tolerate them
because it makes her happy.

But... How do I put this
in a nice way?

This play is garbage!

I'm going to humiliate myself
in front of the whole school.

- Well, you can't quit.
It'd break her heart.

- Look, just tell Michelle
how you honestly feel.

She'll understand.

- Yes, Miles.

That'd certainly be
the honorable thing to do.

- See?
- You're gonna fake an injury.

Aren't you?
- Oh, yeah.

Oh, my toe.

The pain.
- Wait a minute.

You hurt your toe
when you missed my poetry slam.

- That time was real.

- Oh.

[Spooky rock music]

- ¶ If you move
into a haunted house ¶

¶ you gotta try
to work things out ¶

- ¶ so if you're living
with a ghost or three ¶

- ¶ you gotta be
one big, semi-scary family ¶

- ¶ don't know
how we ended up this way ¶

- ¶ but I guess
you could call us ¶

- ¶ the Haunted Hathaways

¶ the Haunted Hathaways

- ¶ the Haunted Hathaways

¶

- ¶ the Haunted Hathaways

¶

- oh, yeah.

Ponies vs. Robots 4!

This is
the sickest video game ever.

Giddyup, daffodil.
[Laughs]

- Whoa.
Cool lasers.

I want to play.

- Okay, "a," not happening.

"B..."
[Blows raspberry]

- What, are you afraid
I'm gonna wipe out

all your high scores again?

- I fear no female.

Aah!

- Ray, thanks so much
for volunteering

to write a musical number
for monsters in your mouth.

Danke.
- Happy to help.

As a professional musician,
it shouldn't be hard.

- And as a professional,

you're used to getting notes,
right?

- I suppose I...
- Good.

Your music tends to be more...

¶ Skoodily doodily
bop bop bop ¶

I need
a more Broadway sound, like,

¶ I'm walkin', I'm talkin' ¶

¶ and I'm singin' my song

- yeah, 'cause skoodily doo
sounds stupid.

- How's my little star's toe?

- I'll be fine.
Well, time to rehearse.

Aah!
Searing, undeniable pain!

- Oh, no, you don't.

You're hurt.
No play for you.

- But I made a commitment
to the theater.

- Mm, sorry.

We'll just have to find
a replacement mummy.

- Detective.
- I knew that.

[Lasers shooting on video game]

- Ray, remember
when you said you wished

you could get Louie
out of the house and away

from all his video games?

- I don't remember saying...
- Well, you did.

And I think it's a great idea
for Louie

to replace me in the play.

- Excuse me?

- He's heard me run lines,
so he knows the dialogue.

You're a genius, ray.

- He has been playing

a lot of ponies vs. Robots
lately.

- But people can't see Louie.
He's a ghost.

- He can possess the costume.

And ghosts can project their
voices whenever we want to.

- I'd like to be heard
right now.

I don't wanna!

- Directing a ghost
would be a challenge.

And theater is
all about meeting challenges.

I'll do it!

- But the ponies
and the robots!

- Have fun.
[Blows raspberry]

- Miles, your "muffin
on a stick" idea is killing it.

I've already got twice
as many tips as usual.

You are brilliant.

- Aw, thanks, Taylor.

I've got a whole binder
full of ideas.

Want to hear my next one?
- Sure!

- Tuck in your shirt.

- Excuse me?

- Appearances are important

to the success of a business.

The way you look reflects
on all of us.

- Oh. Okay.

- Oh, and the hairnet
I left out for you?

Take a hint.

- All right, Miles.
Slow down.

You're not the boss here.

Clem is.
- Hey, yo, Taylor.

Fyi, I'm gonna be in the kitchen
trying a new pie recipe.

If I could just find
the darn flour.

- Well, clem,

have you checked the huge bag
on your shoulder

labeled "flour"?

- No...

But I'm gonna.

Both: Wow.

- Cast and crew,

I have some distressing news,

but I won't dance
around the tooth.

So using that.

Because of an injury,

we need to replace Frankie
with a new detective floss.

So playing the part of our star

will now be none other tha...

- [gasps]
Yes! Yes!

In your face, world!

My time has come, baby!

It's not me, is it?

- No.

Detective floss
will now be played

by our new exchange student,
Louie.

- All right,
let's get this over with.

- Okay, places, people!

So far, so good.
No one suspects anything.

And action!

- Look at the size
of this cavity!

What kind of lowlife germ
would attack

an innocent tooth like this?

Any ideas, ginger vitus?

- Nice try, floss,
but I have an alibi.

- Pretty dame.

But I think she's giving me
the brush-off.

Really?

I'll find out who did this,

because if not me, who?

Who?
- [Mouths silently]

- [Screams]

[Applause]

- Louie, that was amazing.

- You're way better
than Frankie.

- Will you speak
at my bar mitzvah?

- Thank you so much.
Come back and see us again.

- Ah, much better, Taylor.

You were polite, you smiled,

you gave back
the correct change.

Those are the positives.

Now let's discuss
areas of improvement.

Item one...
[Clears throat] Your posture.

- Miles, you've been
criticizing me all day.

- [Scoffs] Um, my attention
to detail is the reason

why this tip jar
is almost full.

- No, that tip jar
is almost full

because I'm the only one
actually doing anything,

so stop acting like
you're in charge.

- Oh, wake up.

We both know
I'm running this rodeo.

- Hey, I need some feedback
on a song

I've been working on
for Michelle's play.

What's going on?

- Business is booming,
thanks to me.

- Miles puts a muffin
on a stick

and thinks he's the boss.

- I thought the new guy clem
was the boss.

- This rolling pin is amazing!

- That's a fire extinguisher,
clem.

- Aww, you almost had me,
Taylor.

- Wow.

Look, isn't it possible
you're both the reason

the bakery is doing so great?

Both: No.

- Look.

When it comes to organization,
I'm the real deal.

Dad, you remember
that filing contest

where I took home
the blue ribbon?

- Yes, I do, son.

- It's too bad we don't
each have our own bakery.

Then we could see
who's responsible

for filling that tip jar.

- That's not a bad idea.

And you know what?

Problem solved.

[Snaps fingers] [Whooshing]

Now you each have
your own workspace.

But I bet you'll find
that you can do more together

than you can apart.

- That's genius, ray.

Oh, Miles,
looks like a customer

on your half
needs some service.

- Oh, you'll have to help me.

Might look weird if a ghost
waited on her.

- Sorry, I don't work
on that side anymore.

Yikes.

- Oh, so we're playing it
that way?

- Wait, what about my song?

¶ Floss

¶ I wanna clean forever

¶ I wanna keep
your breath fresh ¶

¶ floss

¶ I come in mint or unscented ¶

¶ baby, remember my name

¶ remember, remember,
remember, re... ¶

remember?

- [Laughs]

[Lasers shooting on video game]
Take that, robots!

And another Louie high score
goes bye-bye.

- Looks like someone's toe
is better.

- [Sighs]
I'm playing through the pain.

So how'd rehearsal go?

Torture, huh?

- Actually...

- Pizza party in honor of Louie!

[All cheering]

- A what party
in honor of who now?

- Don't get me wrong.

We missed you terribly,
sweetie.

But today, Louie reminded me
why I write,

why I create.

- It's true.
I did.

- I love your commitment
of never taking off the costume.

- Oh, like you and your ears.

[Laughs]

- What are you saying?

- All right, everybody.
Come get food.

- This is just like
the pizza party

your mom threw you.

Oh, wait.

That never happened!

[Laughs]

- Excuse me, Louie?
- Yeah, sweets?

- The cast knows how you like
to unwind with video games,

so we pooled our money
and got you this.

- Ponies vs. Robots 5?

That's limited edition!

- How kind.

I'll treasure it.

Now go.

Grab yourself some 'za.

- [Giggles]

- You're really enjoying this,
aren't you?

- Like you wouldn't believe.

- Mom, it's a miracle.
My toe's all better.

Now I can have my part back.

- No, Frankie.
Your foot needs to rest.

- I agree, Michelle.
Poor Frankie.

Or as we say in the theater...

"Loser!"

- It's been a while since
I composed an original tune,

and I was struggling.
- Hmm.

- But this...
this is a closing number.

- ¶ Floss, floss,
floss your teeth ¶

¶ gently on the gum

¶ merrily, merrily,
merrily, merrily ¶

¶ cleaning teeth is fun

you sicken me.
You're off the project.

- What?

This is gold, baby!
Gold!

- I feel a slight chill.

Can somebody be a lamb
and bring me my robe?

- Oh, puke.

- Honey, what are you
doing here?

- Just wanted to show support.

- Aww.

- Louie looks like
he's become a handful.

- Mm. Worth the journey.

He teaches me
something new every day.

- Is this thing on?
[Laughs]

[Farts]

[Laughter]

- Let's take five, everyone.

- Okay, Louie.
This ends now.

I'm supposed to be the star
of this play.

- And yet you're not.

- Okay, funny guy.

Are you gonna give me
my role back or not?

- I'll give you a hint.

My answer rhymes with no.

It's no.

- Fine.
Then I'm gonna take it back.

Attention, drama dorks,

Louie is not
who you think he is.

Check this out.

- Frankie, cut it out!

[All gasp]

- Whoa, I can't believe it!

He's a great actor
and a magician!

[Applause]

- Are you kidding me?

- Nice try.

But the people love me.

Floss-ta LA vista, baby.

- Miles, my bakery is so gonna
kick your bakery's butt.

You know, it isn't really
a fair competition

since customers
can't even see you.

- Which is why I spent
all morning...

Working on this!

The Miles-o-pies 3000!

Now added with bow tie.

- Are you serious with this?

- I fully automated the entire
pie-delivering process.

Also, his arms squirt...

Whipped cream
and chocolate syrup.

But I like your little
pastry pyramid thing...

that took thought too.

- Hey, everything going
okay in here?

- Great.

I just divided the bakery
in half and added a robot.

- Oh, okeydokey.

- Welcome.

The Miles-o-pies 3000 is ready
to serve you today.

- Or you can come over here
and be served

by a friendly staffer

who doesn't have
to be plugged in.

Please note the pastry pyramid.

- I'm going with the robot.

- Okay.
So you got lucky one time.

- Finally, a customer!

Hi, there.
What can I get you today?

- A toilet.

- It's in the back.

- Love the pyramid.

- Opening night.

This is so humbling.

Take these roses
and throw them at me when I bow.

- So, son,

we just wanted to come back
and say break a leg.

But not a toe, because then
you'll lose your part.

[Laughs] Am I right, Frankie?

She knows
what I'm talking about.

- I'm sorry, what scene is
your original song in again?

- I'm gonna go find my seat.

- Louie, when you came to me,

you were a frightened,
timid caterpillar.

- No, I wasn't.

- Yes, you were.

But now I've turned you
into a talented butterfly

ready to soar.

[Giggles]

Fly, tiny actor.
Fly.

- Okay.

Best of luck.

Hope you get any surprises
out there onstage.

- Get that stupid brush
out of here.

He's contaminating
my crime scene.

- I don't use the word
"masterpiece" a lot.

Of all my masterpieces,

this is
my most master... Pieciest.

Shh, shh, shh.
Let's watch.

- Detective,
have you figured out

who caused this cavity crime?

And if so,
can you tell us in a song?

- I have, and I will.

Give me a beat!

[Piano playing]

[All gasp]

- Wait!

Everybody, freeze.

- Frankie?
- Frankie?

- Who's Frankie?

I'm the new detective
who's taking over this case.

- You're a Christmas tree.

- Not a lot of options
in the costume room.

It was either this
or the statue of liberty.

- What is happening?

- Okay, detective.
I'll take it from here.

You're off the case.
Now give me the badge!

- No way!
This is my crime scene.

[Grunting]

- Oh!

[Curtain tearing]

- How's business on your half?

Doesn't look too good.

- I have a feeling
it's about to pick up.

Oh, clem?

Clem here has
graciously offered

to play the bagpipes
for you all.

- This instrument
comes with a dress.

[Chuckles]

- Clem can play bagpipes?
- Nope.

Which is why he's gonna do it

on your side of the bakery.

Take it away, clem.

- Oh, right on.

It's my first concert.

[Playing off-key]

¶

- welcome, all.

Free set of earplugs
with every pie purchase.

[Playing bagpipes harmoniously]

- Nice try, tay.
Bagpipe camp.

Two summers.

- I am rocking this.

- All right.

Attention, customers!

Buy one pie, get one free.

- What?
You can't undersell me!

Attention:
Buy no pie, get one free!

- What?

No fair!

- What? Sorry.

I can't hear you
above all the ringing

of the cash register,

which I'm only doing
sound effects

because I'm giving away
all the pies.

- You like free pies so much?

Have some more, robot man.

- My baby.

Oh, it's on.

[All gasp]

All: Oh!

- Aah!

[Popping]

- Ginger vitus,
I know it was you

who caused this cavity,

so confess to me!

- No, confess to me,
ginger vitus!

- Don't listen to her.

She's just an insane tree.

What's she doing
in a mouth anyway?

- I'm so confused.

- Stop it, both of you!

For it is I...

Inspector liberty.

- I got to start coming
to the theater more often.

- Christmas tree,

you are not supposed
to be here.

- But this was supposed
to be my case.

- But then it became my case

when you hurt yourself.

Or pretended to.

- Pretended to?

What does detective floss
mean by "pretended to"?

- I thought this play...
or case was gonna be a dud.

I'm sorry.

- I think the three of us

need to discuss this
back at headquarters.

- Wait, wait, wait.

When am I going to confess?

- You just did, ginger.
You just did.

Book her, toothpaste.

Frankie, if you didn't
want to do the play,

you should've just told me.

- I know.
I was wrong.

And then Louie
was so much better than me

in the play, I got jealous.

- Well, now you know
how it feels.

- What are you talking about?

- Why do you think
I don't want you

playing my video games?

You always crush my high score.

It's not fun.

- Sorry I made you feel bad.

- Sorry my talents made you
feel inadequate.

- I am so proud of you two.

But I'm not taking a hit
for this stinker.

You're on your own.

[Applause]

They liked me!

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- What the heck happened here?

- We found out
who the better manager was.

- Yeah.
Neither of us.

- What about the guy
your mom hired?

You were supposed
to be supervised.

- Yo, t.

Any idea how to get
a sneaker out of a toaster?

- Makes sense now.