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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,133 --> 00:00:10,473 - Come on, pick up! Pick up! Pick up! 2 00:00:10,510 --> 00:00:11,640 [line trilling] Oh, come on! 3 00:00:11,678 --> 00:00:13,008 [phone rings] 4 00:00:13,054 --> 00:00:14,224 - This is Kernst. 5 00:00:14,264 --> 00:00:16,024 - Major, it's MacGruber. 6 00:00:16,057 --> 00:00:17,557 You seeing this Ecuador shit? 7 00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:20,310 - You son of a bitch! - What? 8 00:00:20,353 --> 00:00:22,313 - Oh, cut the crap. You played me. 9 00:00:22,355 --> 00:00:23,855 - Sir, the only thing I've been playing 10 00:00:23,898 --> 00:00:25,938 is with Vicki's beautiful breasts and vagina 11 00:00:25,984 --> 00:00:28,744 for ten straight hours, minus bathroom breaks. 12 00:00:28,778 --> 00:00:31,278 So you mind telling me what the hell you're talking about? 13 00:00:31,322 --> 00:00:32,412 - You sold us down the river. 14 00:00:32,449 --> 00:00:33,659 This raid on Queeth's compound 15 00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:34,830 was supposed to be the end of this thing. 16 00:00:34,868 --> 00:00:36,908 You said Brimstone was contained. 17 00:00:36,953 --> 00:00:38,713 - Uh, yeah, I thought it was. 18 00:00:38,747 --> 00:00:40,707 But clearly someone is still behind it! 19 00:00:40,749 --> 00:00:43,919 Someone terribly evil. Someone who has to be stopped. 20 00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:46,800 - Oh, yeah. I'm talking to him right now. 21 00:00:46,838 --> 00:00:50,048 - Oh, thank God. Okay, Kernst, listen carefully. 22 00:00:50,091 --> 00:00:51,591 You have to keep him on the line 23 00:00:51,634 --> 00:00:53,304 and trace that telephone call 24 00:00:53,345 --> 00:00:54,795 so we can find out exactly where-- 25 00:00:54,846 --> 00:00:57,346 - MacGruber! I'm talking about you. 26 00:00:57,390 --> 00:00:59,310 - Oh, you're fucking insane! 27 00:00:59,351 --> 00:01:02,351 - Special agents in Ecuador found DNA 28 00:01:02,395 --> 00:01:03,685 on a dispersal device, 29 00:01:03,730 --> 00:01:05,900 and it's a presumptive match to you! 30 00:01:05,940 --> 00:01:08,440 - Come on, this is clearly a frame job. 31 00:01:08,485 --> 00:01:10,695 Queeth's final fuck you from the grave. 32 00:01:10,737 --> 00:01:13,157 You gotta believe me. I'm one of the good guys. 33 00:01:13,198 --> 00:01:14,778 I got nothing to hide. 34 00:01:14,824 --> 00:01:17,044 - If that's true, then come turn yourself in right now. 35 00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:19,407 - You know I can't do that. 36 00:01:19,454 --> 00:01:22,464 - Well, I guess we both know how this is gonna end. 37 00:01:22,499 --> 00:01:24,499 - Yeah, with you putting a medal around my neck. 38 00:01:24,542 --> 00:01:26,132 - Or a bullet in your head. 39 00:01:26,169 --> 00:01:27,749 - Tomato, "toe-ma-toe." 40 00:01:27,796 --> 00:01:30,966 - MacGruber, I'ma give you one last chance. 41 00:01:31,007 --> 00:01:33,427 Every law enforcement officer in the country 42 00:01:33,468 --> 00:01:34,718 will be looking for you, 43 00:01:34,761 --> 00:01:36,551 and the orders will be shoot to kill. 44 00:01:36,596 --> 00:01:38,676 - Major, Queeth may be dead now, 45 00:01:38,723 --> 00:01:41,233 but someone is keeping his plan in motion, 46 00:01:41,267 --> 00:01:43,397 and you're seriously asking me to stand down? 47 00:01:43,436 --> 00:01:45,516 - I'm not asking. 48 00:01:45,563 --> 00:01:49,823 - Well, in that case, catch me if you can. 49 00:01:49,859 --> 00:01:52,819 [dramatic music] 50 00:01:52,862 --> 00:01:55,622 * * 51 00:01:55,657 --> 00:01:56,867 - Put it up. 52 00:02:04,207 --> 00:02:07,247 [dramatic music] 53 00:02:07,293 --> 00:02:14,383 * * 54 00:02:26,479 --> 00:02:31,779 - * MacGruber * 55 00:02:31,818 --> 00:02:33,568 [fire crackles] 56 00:02:34,696 --> 00:02:36,776 ["O Christmas Tree" playing] 57 00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:39,163 * * 58 00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:42,200 - * Oh, Christmas tree * 59 00:02:42,245 --> 00:02:43,995 - May I have this dance? 60 00:02:44,039 --> 00:02:44,959 - Aww. 61 00:02:46,750 --> 00:02:48,380 Oh, watch out for the gingerbread house. 62 00:02:48,418 --> 00:02:50,048 Spent all morning on that thing. 63 00:02:50,086 --> 00:02:51,756 - Sorry. 64 00:02:55,675 --> 00:02:57,425 - Whoops. [both laugh] 65 00:02:57,469 --> 00:02:59,759 [baby babbles] 66 00:03:02,140 --> 00:03:04,890 - God, I love our life. 67 00:03:04,934 --> 00:03:09,564 - Well, that's good to hear because I have some big news. 68 00:03:10,940 --> 00:03:13,360 Dixon, I'm pregnant. 69 00:03:13,401 --> 00:03:15,901 - We're all gonna die! We're all gonna die! 70 00:03:15,945 --> 00:03:18,235 - Oh, geez, thank God you're still alive! 71 00:03:18,281 --> 00:03:19,701 We are so fucked! 72 00:03:19,741 --> 00:03:21,161 [baby cries] 73 00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:24,251 - Aww, little one, don't cry. Everything's okay. 74 00:03:24,287 --> 00:03:25,617 [mouths words] 75 00:03:25,663 --> 00:03:28,463 - Jesus Christ, what are you guys doing here? 76 00:03:28,500 --> 00:03:29,960 - Haven't you been watching the news? 77 00:03:30,001 --> 00:03:32,591 The poisonous cloud over Ecuador? 78 00:03:32,629 --> 00:03:34,589 Somehow Queeth's plan is still on. 79 00:03:34,631 --> 00:03:36,841 - That's impossible. 80 00:03:36,883 --> 00:03:39,143 - Tens of thousands of people have been reported dead, 81 00:03:39,177 --> 00:03:40,637 and we can only assume 82 00:03:40,679 --> 00:03:42,679 that number is going to rise in the coming days. 83 00:03:42,722 --> 00:03:45,142 - Holy shit. But I thought Queeth was dead! 84 00:03:45,183 --> 00:03:46,523 I thought this was over. 85 00:03:46,559 --> 00:03:48,519 - Checkers, the only thing that's over 86 00:03:48,561 --> 00:03:50,901 is the amount that this motherfucker is not over. 87 00:03:50,939 --> 00:03:53,269 I mean, we are in grave danger here! 88 00:03:53,316 --> 00:03:55,566 Ooh, can I play with your baby? 89 00:03:55,610 --> 00:03:57,490 - Authorities are looking for this man-- 90 00:03:57,529 --> 00:03:59,779 former military officer MacGruber. 91 00:03:59,823 --> 00:04:02,033 - Oh, look, there's Uncle MacGruber. 92 00:04:02,075 --> 00:04:03,785 - Jesus, you're wanted? 93 00:04:03,827 --> 00:04:06,287 - Oh, yeah, super wanted. Like, shoot to kill. 94 00:04:06,329 --> 00:04:07,659 Hell, I mean, for all I know, 95 00:04:07,706 --> 00:04:09,246 they could have their scopes on me right now. 96 00:04:09,290 --> 00:04:10,750 Oh, look at that! 97 00:04:10,792 --> 00:04:12,502 Is that your little playset, bud? 98 00:04:12,544 --> 00:04:15,514 Huh? Oh, that's so cute. I'm jealous, and I'm an adult. 99 00:04:15,547 --> 00:04:16,917 Huh? Is that-- 100 00:04:16,965 --> 00:04:19,795 Oh, what? No. Aww. 101 00:04:19,843 --> 00:04:22,683 Now, let's focus up. We got a terrorist to catch. 102 00:04:22,721 --> 00:04:24,511 Now, I won't go as far as to say that 103 00:04:24,556 --> 00:04:26,266 this is a "Mission: Impossible," 104 00:04:26,307 --> 00:04:29,307 but at the very least, it's a "Mission: Very Hard." 105 00:04:29,352 --> 00:04:31,102 No clues, no leads. 106 00:04:31,146 --> 00:04:32,436 Hell, everyone we knew 107 00:04:32,480 --> 00:04:35,400 who was involved with the plan is dead now. 108 00:04:35,442 --> 00:04:39,322 - Well...not everyone. 109 00:04:39,362 --> 00:04:42,322 [dramatic music] 110 00:04:42,365 --> 00:04:44,655 * * 111 00:04:44,701 --> 00:04:45,831 - Everyone got their covers down? 112 00:04:45,869 --> 00:04:47,199 - Uh-huh. - Yeah. 113 00:04:47,245 --> 00:04:50,115 - Look, these are actual IDs I stole from the NSA, 114 00:04:50,165 --> 00:04:51,785 and I just tweaked them a little bit. 115 00:04:51,833 --> 00:04:54,093 So don't worry. We got this. 116 00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:55,627 - ID, please. 117 00:05:02,469 --> 00:05:04,139 So your name is Sharold? 118 00:05:04,179 --> 00:05:07,809 - Of course my name is Sharold. Sharold Kernst. 119 00:05:09,434 --> 00:05:11,274 - Interesting name. 120 00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:12,771 - It's a family name. 121 00:05:12,812 --> 00:05:16,652 My grandmother was Sharold, her mother and her aunts, 122 00:05:16,691 --> 00:05:21,821 and most of her sisters, and some of her sons. 123 00:05:21,863 --> 00:05:25,333 Goes for all genders, really, Sharold. 124 00:05:25,367 --> 00:05:28,327 [tense music] 125 00:05:28,370 --> 00:05:29,950 * * 126 00:05:29,996 --> 00:05:31,206 Something wrong? 127 00:05:31,247 --> 00:05:32,537 - No, it's just weird. 128 00:05:32,582 --> 00:05:35,342 Both the S and the H are capitalized. 129 00:05:35,377 --> 00:05:37,457 - Yeah. 130 00:05:37,504 --> 00:05:40,764 Uh, That's because it's S. Harold Kernst. 131 00:05:40,799 --> 00:05:43,179 - And the S stands for Sharold? 132 00:05:43,218 --> 00:05:44,718 - Stands for Sharold. 133 00:05:44,761 --> 00:05:48,771 - So your name is Sharold Harold Kernst. 134 00:05:50,266 --> 00:05:51,726 - Yep. 135 00:05:56,773 --> 00:05:59,613 - And here you go, Colonel Jebblidoh. 136 00:05:59,651 --> 00:06:03,071 - Jebblidoo. Matias Jebblidoo. 137 00:06:03,113 --> 00:06:04,663 - Sure. 138 00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:08,368 And Private Fukk? 139 00:06:08,410 --> 00:06:10,580 - Mm-hmm. 140 00:06:10,620 --> 00:06:13,000 - Yep, Private David Fukk, Wisconsin's own. 141 00:06:13,039 --> 00:06:15,419 - Oh, I'm from Madison. - Get out of town. 142 00:06:15,458 --> 00:06:16,668 That's so fun! 143 00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:18,590 Private Fukk, isn't that so fun? 144 00:06:18,628 --> 00:06:19,918 From Madison. Tell him all about 145 00:06:19,963 --> 00:06:21,763 the different Wisconsin trivia that you know. 146 00:06:21,798 --> 00:06:23,128 - Well, I guess we should be leaving, so. 147 00:06:23,174 --> 00:06:25,594 - Well, I don't know. We got a little bit of time. 148 00:06:25,635 --> 00:06:28,595 - Bye. - Say goodbye, Private Fukk. 149 00:06:28,638 --> 00:06:32,058 - Bye. - Bye. 150 00:06:32,100 --> 00:06:39,020 * * 151 00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:45,613 - Hey, Vic. - Yeah? 152 00:06:45,655 --> 00:06:47,655 - You sure you don't need me in there? 153 00:06:47,699 --> 00:06:49,579 - Thanks, but I think this is something 154 00:06:49,617 --> 00:06:51,197 I need to do on my own. 155 00:06:51,244 --> 00:06:53,004 - I understand. 156 00:06:53,038 --> 00:06:55,368 Hey. Sharold. 157 00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:57,915 - Yeah? - Livestrong. 158 00:06:59,502 --> 00:07:01,842 - Okay. - Come on, give me five. 159 00:07:03,173 --> 00:07:04,553 Yeah. 160 00:07:14,059 --> 00:07:15,599 - Open 104! 161 00:07:15,643 --> 00:07:22,783 * * 162 00:07:25,653 --> 00:07:26,993 - Hello, Barrett. 163 00:07:33,578 --> 00:07:34,828 - Victoria. 164 00:07:34,871 --> 00:07:37,671 - Oh, shut up-a you face! 165 00:07:37,707 --> 00:07:40,167 [tense music] 166 00:07:40,210 --> 00:07:41,380 Put 'em on. 167 00:07:41,419 --> 00:07:42,839 - Honey-- - Kee-yah! 168 00:07:44,297 --> 00:07:46,837 I am not your honey, honey. Not anymore. 169 00:07:46,883 --> 00:07:49,053 And you are not my king. 170 00:07:50,887 --> 00:07:55,637 So are we gonna do things the hard way? 171 00:07:57,227 --> 00:07:58,897 Or... 172 00:08:02,148 --> 00:08:03,358 The harder way? 173 00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:08,240 * * 174 00:08:08,279 --> 00:08:10,239 It's your choice. 175 00:08:13,785 --> 00:08:16,075 General. [coughs] 176 00:08:16,121 --> 00:08:19,871 - Just tell me you once loved me. 177 00:08:19,916 --> 00:08:21,956 I'll tell you whatever you want to know. 178 00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:23,842 - Sorry. 179 00:08:23,878 --> 00:08:25,798 I don't negotiate with terrorists. 180 00:08:25,839 --> 00:08:28,259 - [grunts, coughs] 181 00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:32,471 Queeth and his men are dead, 182 00:08:32,512 --> 00:08:33,722 but the plan is still proceeding. 183 00:08:33,763 --> 00:08:35,063 Tell me what you know! 184 00:08:36,558 --> 00:08:37,888 Goll dar, Barrett! 185 00:08:37,934 --> 00:08:40,104 Who is executing Queeth's goll dar plan? 186 00:08:40,145 --> 00:08:42,225 - I don't know! - That's a fib! 187 00:08:42,272 --> 00:08:44,022 You're fibbing! - I'm not fibbing. 188 00:08:44,065 --> 00:08:45,775 I swear to you, I'm not fibbing! 189 00:08:47,152 --> 00:08:49,242 - Okay. 190 00:08:49,279 --> 00:08:53,069 Looks like I'm gonna have to take off the training wheels, 191 00:08:53,116 --> 00:08:57,366 and sit down real hard on the seat. 192 00:08:59,289 --> 00:09:00,919 - [groans] 193 00:09:00,957 --> 00:09:02,037 [coughs] 194 00:09:02,083 --> 00:09:05,053 - You know what that is? I think you do. 195 00:09:05,086 --> 00:09:07,296 Yeah, I think you know what that is. 196 00:09:07,339 --> 00:09:12,259 Yeah. That's your old pal, MacGruber. 197 00:09:12,302 --> 00:09:15,262 - No! 198 00:09:15,305 --> 00:09:19,135 No! 199 00:09:19,184 --> 00:09:21,104 - Millions of lives are at stake, Barrett. 200 00:09:21,144 --> 00:09:23,614 Tell me what you know! - I don't know anything. 201 00:09:23,646 --> 00:09:25,106 - Tell me what you know! 202 00:09:25,148 --> 00:09:28,028 Tell me what you know! What do you know? 203 00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:31,398 - Okay! Okay! I'll tell you! I'll tell you everything! 204 00:09:32,697 --> 00:09:33,947 - Thank you. 205 00:09:35,658 --> 00:09:38,408 - Twenty years ago, 206 00:09:38,453 --> 00:09:42,333 there was someone working on the inside with Queeth. 207 00:09:42,374 --> 00:09:43,964 I never knew who it was. 208 00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:46,960 I only knew them as the Architect. 209 00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:52,131 But they controlled everything. Everything. 210 00:09:52,175 --> 00:09:55,965 - Tell me more about this "The Architect." 211 00:09:56,012 --> 00:09:58,682 - I don't know much. [sniffles] 212 00:09:58,723 --> 00:10:00,183 They covered their tracks very well, 213 00:10:00,225 --> 00:10:03,225 so I was never able to piece the whole thing together. 214 00:10:03,269 --> 00:10:07,819 But what I do know is in my computer, 215 00:10:07,857 --> 00:10:09,857 locked away in the NSA. 216 00:10:11,027 --> 00:10:14,407 Sorry. Wish I could tell you more. 217 00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:18,155 - Apology not accepted. 218 00:10:19,703 --> 00:10:20,873 - Vicki, please, don't go. 219 00:10:20,912 --> 00:10:23,372 Vicki, please. 220 00:10:23,415 --> 00:10:25,035 - Goodbye, Barrett. 221 00:10:26,251 --> 00:10:29,091 [knocks on door] - Victoria. 222 00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:32,339 Victoria! 223 00:10:32,382 --> 00:10:35,182 [sobbing] Victoria! 224 00:10:35,218 --> 00:10:41,058 * * 225 00:10:43,518 --> 00:10:46,398 - Files you requested, sir. - This everything? 226 00:10:46,438 --> 00:10:47,978 - Not exactly. 227 00:10:52,694 --> 00:10:53,904 This is everything. 228 00:10:56,239 --> 00:10:57,279 - Jesus. 229 00:10:57,323 --> 00:11:00,373 - If I may, sir, any idea where he is? 230 00:11:00,410 --> 00:11:02,830 - That's what I'm hoping to find out. 231 00:11:09,461 --> 00:11:12,011 Where the hell are you, MacGruber? 232 00:11:12,047 --> 00:11:14,127 [suspenseful music] 233 00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:16,844 - Oh, hold that, will you? 234 00:11:16,885 --> 00:11:19,295 Thank you. Are you going up? 235 00:11:19,346 --> 00:11:24,226 - All the way to the top. Isn't that right, Agent Piss? 236 00:11:24,267 --> 00:11:25,637 - Mm-hmm. 237 00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:26,975 [elevator dings] 238 00:11:32,984 --> 00:11:35,784 [dramatic music] 239 00:11:35,820 --> 00:11:42,620 * * 240 00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:46,157 - Jesus. 241 00:11:48,541 --> 00:11:51,671 [suspenseful music] 242 00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:53,961 * * 243 00:11:54,005 --> 00:11:56,295 - Shit. We'll never find it. 244 00:11:56,341 --> 00:11:59,221 - They're alphabetized. - What? 245 00:11:59,260 --> 00:12:00,850 - Got it. - [gasps] 246 00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:02,597 - Nice job, Piss. 247 00:12:06,017 --> 00:12:08,727 [dramatic music] 248 00:12:08,770 --> 00:12:15,610 * * 249 00:12:32,502 --> 00:12:35,132 - Who is this guy? 250 00:12:35,171 --> 00:12:36,881 - Hurry up, Vic. This computer might be 251 00:12:36,923 --> 00:12:39,303 our only shot to find out who the Architect is. 252 00:12:39,342 --> 00:12:41,682 - I know, I'm sorry, it's just going so slow! 253 00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:43,220 Come on! Come on! 254 00:12:43,263 --> 00:12:44,933 - Checkers, how we doing with the 5-0? 255 00:12:44,973 --> 00:12:46,853 - All doors are locked, there's no movement 256 00:12:46,891 --> 00:12:48,891 in Stairwell 6, so that's our best bet for escape. 257 00:12:48,935 --> 00:12:50,645 We make it to the parking structure 258 00:12:50,687 --> 00:12:51,807 and drive out the front gate 259 00:12:51,855 --> 00:12:53,225 before anyone knows we were here. 260 00:12:53,273 --> 00:12:54,443 That's probably not what'll happen, 261 00:12:54,482 --> 00:12:55,862 but it's always good to have a plan, I guess. 262 00:12:55,900 --> 00:12:57,440 - Loud and. 263 00:12:57,485 --> 00:12:59,735 [computer beeps] - Shoot, shoot, shoot. 264 00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:02,409 Guys, we have a problem. We need his password. 265 00:13:02,449 --> 00:13:04,369 - Oh, shit, shit, shit! Shit! 266 00:13:04,409 --> 00:13:05,869 Okay, relax, Vicki. 267 00:13:05,910 --> 00:13:08,830 Last thing we need is a major freak-out right now. 268 00:13:08,872 --> 00:13:09,792 Okay, so don't panic. 269 00:13:09,831 --> 00:13:11,211 We'll get through this together. 270 00:13:11,249 --> 00:13:12,669 So try this. You ready? - Yeah. 271 00:13:12,709 --> 00:13:16,129 - Type in six, nine, six, nine, six, nine, six, nine. 272 00:13:16,171 --> 00:13:17,421 - Okay. 273 00:13:17,464 --> 00:13:19,264 Six, nine, six, nine, six, nine, six. 274 00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:20,589 - Nine. One final nine in there. 275 00:13:20,633 --> 00:13:22,803 - Nine. [computer beeps] 276 00:13:22,844 --> 00:13:24,054 - Fuck. 277 00:13:24,095 --> 00:13:26,215 Okay. Okay. Okay. No worries. 278 00:13:26,264 --> 00:13:28,564 Let's just change it up a little bit and go with this. 279 00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:32,650 Six, nine, six, nine, six, nine, six, nine, 280 00:13:32,687 --> 00:13:33,687 six, nine. 281 00:13:35,774 --> 00:13:36,904 [computer beeps] 282 00:13:36,941 --> 00:13:40,451 Shit fuck! Okay. Okay. 283 00:13:40,487 --> 00:13:43,157 Six, nine, six, nine, six, nine, six, nine, 284 00:13:43,198 --> 00:13:45,408 six, nine, six, nine. 285 00:13:45,450 --> 00:13:46,790 [computer beeps] 286 00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:48,906 Oh, God! Oh, God. Oh, God. What do we do here? 287 00:13:48,953 --> 00:13:51,503 Okay, okay, how about just six, nine, six, nine? 288 00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:55,540 Fuck! 289 00:13:57,420 --> 00:14:00,340 [sentimental music] 290 00:14:00,382 --> 00:14:06,552 * * 291 00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:17,074 Six, nine, six, nine, six, nine, six, nine, 292 00:14:17,107 --> 00:14:19,647 six, nine, six, nine, six, nine, six, nine, 293 00:14:19,693 --> 00:14:22,203 six, nine, six, nine, six, nine, six, nine, 294 00:14:22,237 --> 00:14:23,947 six, nine, six, nine, six, nine, 295 00:14:23,988 --> 00:14:25,448 six, nine, six, nine, 296 00:14:25,490 --> 00:14:27,530 six, nine, six, nine, six, nine. 297 00:14:27,575 --> 00:14:28,615 Okay, try that. 298 00:14:28,660 --> 00:14:31,450 No! Wait, wait, wait. Wait. 299 00:14:31,496 --> 00:14:33,326 Six, nine. 300 00:14:36,751 --> 00:14:38,131 Shit! 301 00:14:38,169 --> 00:14:41,299 Well, it's official: we're never gonna get in. 302 00:14:41,339 --> 00:14:43,509 - Let me try something. 303 00:14:44,843 --> 00:14:45,843 [computer beeps] 304 00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:46,965 Oh, we're in! 305 00:14:47,012 --> 00:14:50,142 - Nice on, Vic! How many 69s was that? 306 00:14:50,181 --> 00:14:51,351 - Uh, none. 307 00:14:51,391 --> 00:14:52,981 He used our wedding anniversary. 308 00:14:53,018 --> 00:14:55,978 - Oh, your wedding anniversary. - Yeah. 309 00:14:56,021 --> 00:14:59,071 - Oh, what a fucking goober. [laughs] 310 00:14:59,107 --> 00:15:00,397 That's so dumb. 311 00:15:00,442 --> 00:15:02,192 Jesus. 312 00:15:02,235 --> 00:15:04,645 Ugh, just makes me barf in my mouth a little bit. 313 00:15:04,696 --> 00:15:06,106 I mean, anybody could look that up. 314 00:15:06,156 --> 00:15:07,316 It's public record. 315 00:15:07,365 --> 00:15:09,325 That's the stupidest thing I've ever seen. 316 00:15:09,367 --> 00:15:10,947 So fucking dumb. 317 00:15:10,994 --> 00:15:13,664 Okay, now do a search for "architect" or "Queeth" 318 00:15:13,705 --> 00:15:15,535 or maybe the word "plan" 319 00:15:15,582 --> 00:15:17,332 or the phrase "miscellaneous evil." 320 00:15:17,375 --> 00:15:18,665 - On it. 321 00:15:18,710 --> 00:15:20,250 - We're running out of time! 322 00:15:20,295 --> 00:15:21,705 - Just a few more seconds! 323 00:15:28,136 --> 00:15:31,306 [ominous music] 324 00:15:31,348 --> 00:15:34,558 * * 325 00:15:34,601 --> 00:15:36,061 - Oh, my God. 326 00:15:36,102 --> 00:15:43,032 * * 327 00:16:04,631 --> 00:16:06,511 Family torn apart. 328 00:16:08,301 --> 00:16:10,051 Mother murdered. 329 00:16:10,095 --> 00:16:13,005 [suspenseful music] 330 00:16:13,056 --> 00:16:19,766 * * 331 00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:23,651 Son of a bitch. 332 00:16:28,196 --> 00:16:29,736 - Got it! - Yes! 333 00:16:29,781 --> 00:16:30,991 - It might take me a while to crack it, though. 334 00:16:31,032 --> 00:16:32,782 It's encrypted. [phone buzzes] 335 00:16:32,826 --> 00:16:35,446 - Go for Grubs. - Son, are you okay? 336 00:16:35,495 --> 00:16:37,035 Your face is all over the news. 337 00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:39,370 - I promise you, Dad, it's all horsepucky. 338 00:16:39,416 --> 00:16:40,666 - I know. 339 00:16:40,709 --> 00:16:42,039 You could never do something like this. 340 00:16:42,085 --> 00:16:44,745 - Thanks, Dad. But I think I know who did. 341 00:16:44,796 --> 00:16:47,086 Have you ever heard of an "The Architect?" 342 00:16:47,132 --> 00:16:49,842 - Can't say I have. Where'd you get that intel? 343 00:16:49,884 --> 00:16:52,184 - Stopped by the pen today and had a little chat 344 00:16:52,220 --> 00:16:53,680 with Barrett Fasoose. 345 00:16:53,722 --> 00:16:55,772 We're at the NSA right now working his lead. 346 00:16:55,807 --> 00:16:57,517 - No, you gotta get out of there! 347 00:16:57,559 --> 00:17:01,349 Don't you see? This is a trap. Fasoose is setting you up! 348 00:17:01,396 --> 00:17:04,186 - I appreciate your concern, but we're right on the verge 349 00:17:04,232 --> 00:17:05,862 of blowing this thing wide open. 350 00:17:05,900 --> 00:17:08,570 Then we can go to Kernst and get back on the mission. 351 00:17:08,611 --> 00:17:11,491 - Wait, Kernst is running things now? 352 00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:14,121 - Yeah. - God. 353 00:17:14,159 --> 00:17:17,949 MacGruber, that's your guy. Kernst is your Architect. 354 00:17:17,996 --> 00:17:19,576 - Daddy, I seriously doubt that-- 355 00:17:19,622 --> 00:17:22,172 - Trust me, son. It has to be Kernst. 356 00:17:22,208 --> 00:17:24,248 Now, listen, you gotta get out of there. 357 00:17:24,294 --> 00:17:25,634 You're in real danger. 358 00:17:25,670 --> 00:17:27,260 - Guys, I think we got some movement over here. 359 00:17:27,297 --> 00:17:28,797 - Shit. Dad, hold on. 360 00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:29,880 - Okay, I'm gonna copy the files to the drive, 361 00:17:29,924 --> 00:17:31,514 but they're really big ones. 362 00:17:31,551 --> 00:17:33,431 - Please go! - Hang on, Dad. Hang on. 363 00:17:33,470 --> 00:17:34,930 - Okay. 364 00:17:34,971 --> 00:17:38,641 Just gotta drag, drop this one over here. 365 00:17:38,683 --> 00:17:43,153 Drag it. Drop it. 366 00:17:43,188 --> 00:17:44,398 Drag it. 367 00:17:44,439 --> 00:17:46,979 - Hang on, she's just dragging and dropping. 368 00:17:47,025 --> 00:17:49,565 - Drag it. Whoop. 369 00:17:49,611 --> 00:17:52,491 Drag it. Drop it. 370 00:17:52,530 --> 00:17:54,030 - Shit. 371 00:17:54,074 --> 00:17:55,834 [tense music] 372 00:17:55,867 --> 00:17:56,947 - Shit, we got company. 373 00:17:56,993 --> 00:17:58,703 - Okay, sorry, Dad, gotta jump. 374 00:17:58,745 --> 00:18:00,575 The pigs are porking it up over here. 375 00:18:00,622 --> 00:18:02,502 - MacGruber! 376 00:18:02,540 --> 00:18:03,880 - Just a few more seconds! 377 00:18:03,917 --> 00:18:05,417 - We don't have a few more seconds! 378 00:18:05,460 --> 00:18:06,630 - Okay. But the flash drive! 379 00:18:06,670 --> 00:18:08,250 - Just leave it! 380 00:18:09,798 --> 00:18:11,718 This will buy us some time. 381 00:18:11,758 --> 00:18:13,388 [alarm blaring] 382 00:18:13,426 --> 00:18:14,796 Go! Go! [Vicky yells] 383 00:18:14,844 --> 00:18:18,014 [dramatic music] 384 00:18:18,056 --> 00:18:24,846 * * 385 00:18:26,398 --> 00:18:27,688 - [yells] 386 00:18:27,732 --> 00:18:30,242 Oh, my leg! Oh, fuck! 387 00:18:30,276 --> 00:18:32,606 Good call on the water thing, Piper. 388 00:18:32,654 --> 00:18:34,204 Always playing checkers. 389 00:18:34,239 --> 00:18:36,199 [door crashes open] 390 00:18:36,241 --> 00:18:37,531 Oh, fuck! Go, go, go! 391 00:18:37,575 --> 00:18:40,575 I'll meet you at the SUV! Go, Vicki! Go! 392 00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:44,080 - MacGruber! - Oh, fuck! 393 00:18:44,124 --> 00:18:46,134 [groaning] 394 00:18:46,167 --> 00:18:47,247 Ahh! 395 00:18:47,293 --> 00:18:50,213 [dramatic music] 396 00:18:50,255 --> 00:18:54,375 * * 397 00:18:54,426 --> 00:18:56,386 - MacGruber, stop. 398 00:18:56,428 --> 00:18:58,218 I said stop! 399 00:18:58,263 --> 00:18:59,973 [gunshot] 400 00:19:01,725 --> 00:19:03,805 Don't move a muscle. 401 00:19:07,230 --> 00:19:08,690 - Well, Major... 402 00:19:10,191 --> 00:19:12,531 I guess you caught me if you could. 403 00:19:12,569 --> 00:19:15,239 - I guess I did, Colonel Jebblidoo. 404 00:19:15,280 --> 00:19:18,870 - You son of a bitch. My dad warned me about you. 405 00:19:18,908 --> 00:19:20,658 You're nothing but a silver-tongued 406 00:19:20,702 --> 00:19:22,122 snake oil salesman, 407 00:19:22,162 --> 00:19:24,662 saying whatever it takes to keep up the fucking grift. 408 00:19:24,706 --> 00:19:28,036 You know what, I wish I had a fucking sledgehammer right now 409 00:19:28,084 --> 00:19:30,424 so I could splatter your brains against the fucking wall 410 00:19:30,462 --> 00:19:31,802 in a million pieces, 411 00:19:31,838 --> 00:19:33,258 one for each of those innocent people 412 00:19:33,298 --> 00:19:36,048 who lost their lives in Ecuador because of you! 413 00:19:37,218 --> 00:19:38,178 - Are you done? 414 00:19:38,219 --> 00:19:40,309 - Oh, I haven't even started yet. 415 00:19:42,307 --> 00:19:44,887 - Well, let me know when you are, 416 00:19:44,934 --> 00:19:46,194 so I can give you this. 417 00:19:47,645 --> 00:19:49,055 - Vicki's hard drive. 418 00:19:50,523 --> 00:19:52,783 I-I don't understand. 419 00:19:52,817 --> 00:19:54,687 - Found it in our evidence room. 420 00:19:54,736 --> 00:19:57,816 We can't crack the files, but maybe you can. 421 00:19:57,864 --> 00:20:00,414 [heartfelt music] 422 00:20:00,450 --> 00:20:04,250 Come on, Mac. We're on the same team here. 423 00:20:04,287 --> 00:20:10,667 * * 424 00:20:14,506 --> 00:20:15,966 - Why are you doing this? 425 00:20:17,133 --> 00:20:21,053 - I, um, I lost my mom too. 426 00:20:23,181 --> 00:20:25,391 - I'm sorry. 427 00:20:25,433 --> 00:20:26,693 What was her name? 428 00:20:27,644 --> 00:20:29,064 - Elizabeth. 429 00:20:31,064 --> 00:20:32,824 - Darcy. 430 00:20:34,651 --> 00:20:35,991 What was her middle name? 431 00:20:36,027 --> 00:20:37,067 - Look, Mac, you don't have much time. 432 00:20:37,112 --> 00:20:38,572 - Yes, no, you're right. Yes. 433 00:20:38,613 --> 00:20:42,333 - You take that, and you go find that son of a bitch. 434 00:20:42,367 --> 00:20:43,907 - I will. 435 00:20:43,952 --> 00:20:51,082 * * 436 00:21:09,019 --> 00:21:11,269 - Are you okay? 437 00:21:11,312 --> 00:21:13,402 - It just doesn't make any sense. 438 00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:17,320 I mean, my dad was so sure that Kernst was the Architect. 439 00:21:17,360 --> 00:21:21,320 And my dad is just like me-- he doesn't make mistakes. 440 00:21:22,490 --> 00:21:25,290 Hell, maybe Kernst is just playing me. 441 00:21:25,326 --> 00:21:28,616 Maybe this is all just one big long con. 442 00:21:28,663 --> 00:21:30,923 But why? 443 00:21:30,957 --> 00:21:34,537 [sighs] Something just doesn't add up. 444 00:21:34,586 --> 00:21:38,166 What's the play here? What's the fucking play? 445 00:21:43,428 --> 00:21:45,098 - Oh, my God. 446 00:21:46,222 --> 00:21:48,852 - MacGruber! Did you just toot? 447 00:21:48,892 --> 00:21:51,272 - Nice try, Vic, but you know as well as I do 448 00:21:51,311 --> 00:21:53,401 that whoever smelt it dealt it. 449 00:21:53,438 --> 00:21:56,318 [mysterious music] 450 00:21:56,358 --> 00:21:58,398 Whoever smelt it... 451 00:21:59,861 --> 00:22:01,951 Dealt it. 452 00:22:03,490 --> 00:22:08,290 Oh. My. God. 453 00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:11,580 [dramatic music] 454 00:22:11,623 --> 00:22:14,583 [voices overlapping] Whoever smelt it dealt it. 455 00:22:14,626 --> 00:22:16,286 Whoever smelt it dealt it. 456 00:22:16,336 --> 00:22:18,546 Whoever smelt it dealt it. Whoever smelt it dealt it. 457 00:22:18,588 --> 00:22:21,468 Whoever smelt it dealt it. Whoever smelt it dealt it. 458 00:22:21,508 --> 00:22:24,178 Whoever smelt it dealt it. Whoever smelt it dealt it. 459 00:22:24,219 --> 00:22:27,219 Whoever smelt it dealt it. Whoever smelt it dealt it. 460 00:22:27,263 --> 00:22:29,523 Whoever smelt it dealt it. Whoever smelt it dealt it. 461 00:22:29,557 --> 00:22:32,267 - I know who The Architect is. 462 00:22:32,310 --> 00:22:36,520 * * 463 00:22:36,564 --> 00:22:39,534 My own fucking father. 464 00:22:44,698 --> 00:22:47,658 [dramatic music] 465 00:22:47,701 --> 00:22:54,831 * * 466 00:22:54,881 --> 00:22:59,431 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 31878

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