All language subtitles for David.Searching.1998-1

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We have to talk.

I just had the worst nightmare.

[MUSIC ITCHY TRIGGER FINGER,
"CAN'T WASTE ANOTHER DAY"]

So, why documentaries?

That doesn't seem very lofty for
someone as-- smart and handsome

as you.

Well, um, when I was about 10,
we got cable TV in my house.

And with cable TV, of
course, came remote control.

And suddenly, nothing
else happened in my house.

I mean, my father
would sit in his chair

and just flip through all
the channels all day long.

There were only 13
channels, but he would just

go one through the next,
through the next, to the end,

and then go all the
way back around again.

And he would never
watch anything.

And I'd sit there for hours
just looking at him do this.

And I would think,
surely, he would

stop and watch a show
or a complete news

program, something.

But he never did.

And so I became a documentarian.

Huh?

Um, the separation was,
you know, difficult.

But I'm finally
starting to date.

So what do you want to do?

OK.

Men suck.

They really suck.

And you wanna know the
worst part about it was?

The hotel was in Jersey.

He wanted me to commute.

I'm sorry.

It's not your fault. OK.

Rub.

So what happened to you?

Well, we had this truly
horrid evening during which

he ate veal and talked
incessantly about his trip

to the country house
in the Mercedes.

I mean, not once did he use the
word "car," just "Mercedes."

Rub.

Oh, god, that is so gross.

He didn't even
pass the cable test.

I don't even know that.

Well, I bring up cable TV
as a socially relevant topic,

like it's something that
shaped the current world view.

Uh-huh.

If the guy can
respond intelligently,

he gets a second look.

And if he can't--

Jesus, David, you are such
a slave to pop culture.

All right.

What else?

Well, after making every
conceivable excuse to escape,

he just invited me up
for sex, just like that.

So you wanna come up for sex?

It was appalling.

Men are.

Thank you.

Come on, David.

You know I wish every
man was like you.

If more men were like me,
the human race would die out.

You really oughta sleep
with somebody someday.

Gwen.

It's not like I'm a virgin.

Two years, I haven't
seen anybody yet.

And doesn't virginity grow back?

What?

Has it really been two years?

Shit.

OK.

Um, the doorbell just rang,
and she's in the hallway.

Let's see how this goes.

Hi.

Hi.

You ride a motorcycle.

Oh, yeah.

It's the '90s.

Are you, uh,
"spacious two bedroom,

one bath, one gay male"?

That's me.

I know it's a stupid way to put
it, but I thought it was cute.

Oh, no.

Hey, it is.

You're just, um, a lot
younger than I expected.

Oh, um, come in.

Have a seat.

Is the age thing
gonna be a problem?

'Cause really, there's
not a whole lot I can do.

OK.

Oh, wow.

'60s.

Were you even conceived then?

It came with the apartment.

You get used to it.

By the way, you're on camera.

Wait, you're--
you're filming this?

DAVID: Yeah.

Yeah, I film everything.

You see, these interviews
are sort of hard,

and I have so many of them
to do, that, you know,

I just wanted to remember.

This way, I can get a
really good look at who's

gonna be sharing my life.

Ah, your apartment.

DAVID: What?

Who's gonna be
sharing your apartment.

I mean, there is
a big difference.

We're not getting married,
we're just sharing rent.

DAVID: Of course.

Yeah, you're right.

So, um, what's your story?

Well, if you mean why am I
looking for a place to live,

I, um-- I just broke
up with my husband.

DAVID: Oh, I'm sorry.

Don't be.

He's a prick.

DAVID: Oh, I see.

If you must know,
I moved in with him,

and he brought out some
handcuffs, and some whips,

and chains.

And I thought,
hey, maybe I oughta

know about this before I
married you, so um-- I'm moving.

DAVID: You whipped him?

No shit?

It's not like I wanted to.

He asked.

DAVID: Do you always do
everything you're asked?

Well, I said "I do,"
so I thought I'd better.

Anyway, are you gonna
always sound like my mother?

You're kidding, right?

Uh, yeah.

No.

Exaggerating.

DAVID: Look, um, I'm not sure
that this is gonna work out.

So how serious are you on
this like, rent on time thing?

That fire escape, um,
do you think that would

support a bungee cord?

Do you like cats?

I have three.

I'm a charter subscriber
of "Cat Fancy" magazine.

I have all the issues
wrapped in plastic.

And I hang them on my wall
so all I see all day long are

these adorable little kitties.

And my kitties'
names are Portabella,

Mirabella, and Griselda.

And they sleep in the
same room with me.

And when I die, I'm gonna give
my apartment to them and--

DAVID (ON PHONE):
Hi, is this Gwen?

GWEN (ON PHONE): Yeah.

DAVID (ON PHONE):
Hi, it's David.

The apartment in East
Village, remember?

GWEN (ON PHONE): Yes.

DAVID (ON PHONE): Look, are
you still looking for a place?

GWEN (ON PHONE): Well, uh, yeah.

Oh my god, I love her.

DAVID: What?

Who?

Her.

DAVID: Oh.

Oh, yeah, Flaming June.

Yeah, she's my favorite.

Obviously.

It's the only thing
you have on the walls.

DAVID: Well, I have that
horrible combination

of poor and picky.

Frederic Lord Leighton.

How come I've heard of him?

Well, I don't know
that much about art.

I just saw her at
this flea market,

and she looked so peaceful
that I had to have her.

I mean, there I was at this
flea market on 6th Avenue.

The one on 26th?

I love that one.

I buy everything there.

Yeah, that's the one.

And then she just jumped
out at me and made me stop.

I mean, this sleeping woman
just stopped the world for me

and made me smile.

And I forgot all about the
homeless man who was asking

for change over my shoulder,
and this woman who was screaming

obscenities in
Italian at this man

who wouldn't let her sell her
macrame at his T-shirt table.

I don't know.

I, uh-- I felt peace.

So I spent my
grocery money on her.

Well, it's a beautiful color.

I love her night gown.

So anyway, what do you do
about food around here?

Oh, are you hungry?
I'm sorry.

Oh, no, no.

I just thought if we're
gonna live together,

I oughta know what the
arrangements are about food.

Of course, yeah.

Well, when I can afford it,
there's a Mickey D's down

on the corner.

And if not, I just
go to the deli

where you can get Slim-Fast
in a can for a dollar,

and that usually
kills any appetite

that ramen noodles can't fix.

Well, I actually like to cook.

So, I don't know, what
condition is the kitchen in?

I mean, does it work?

Did when I moved in.

OK.

And where is it?

Oh, it's, um, over
there somewhere.

Somewhere?

OK.

So, um, what do
you like to cook?

Uh.

Oh, I like to cook cookies.

DAVID: Cookies?

Well, yeah.

You know, cookies.

Well, I guess, actually,
it's not cooking.

It's more like baking
or mixing, really.

Actually, I like the dough.

I just like to, you
know, eat the dough.

Sometimes, I don't
even bake them.

I just eat the dough.

DAVID: Anything else?

Well, you know,
whatever there is,

I just take whatever ingredients
you have in the kitchen,

and I just put it together
and make whatever.

It's kinda like, you know,
I don't know-- some kid

and a chemistry set.

What?

Why are you looking
at me like that?

So with the money Grandmother
left me, I left home,

and I moved to the city.

She gave me everything, really.

She bought me my camera.

And when my father
complained that I

was spending too
much money on film,

she bought me cases and stuff.

Do you want some fruit?

There's nothing to decide.

And everything to accept.

James Baldwin.

1960.

Hey, you.

Come here.

Yeah, what's up, mamita?

What was that about?

Did you think you were
like, gonna get some?

I don't know.

What?

You gonna give me some?

Oh, yeah.

I'd like to give you some.

Um.

Do you, like, have a lot
of dietary restrictions?

No.

Why do you ask that?

I don't know.

It took us like, a half an
hour to find this place.

I mean, you shot down every
suggestion that I made.

And then suddenly, we're here
at a health food restaurant.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I-- I just really like hummus.

It's my life.

Would you like some fruit?

We swing with
the nonsequential.

Joan Didion.

1972.

I thought this was
a job interview.

DAVID: It is.

Why am I on camera?

DAVID: I'm a documentarian.

I record everything of
importance in my life.

Well, since I'm
conducting the interview,

shouldn't the camera
be facing you?

DAVID: I didn't say
I was very good.

Why do you think
I need this job?

OK.

OK.

Hi.

It's me.

Oh, no, no, no.

I'm fine, really.

I called to tell you
that things are going

really good at the restaurant.

So, uh, I don't need
as much this month, OK?

So if you just send about, um,
half, that'd be really good.

No, really, Brian.

If you send more, I'm just
gonna send it back, OK?

Uh, yeah.

Well, um, I miss it too.

Gwen?

GWEN: Yeah, I'm in here.

-Hey.
-Hey.

What's that?

Do you like it?

I swiped it for you.

It wasn't easy.

So how was your interview?

Well, I start tomorrow.

That's great.

You don't like very excited.

Gwen, making $7 an hour to file
books into their proper place

in the Dewey Decimal System
is not exactly the stuff

that my orgasms are made of.

I know, David.

But come on, it pays the rent.

Oh, two things.

Events of the day-- your
agent called, and he said you

have to call him back today.

Cool.

What's the second thing?

There's a strange man
passed out on the couch.

Did you get luck today?

Uh, no.

He walked in in the
middle of the afternoon.

He said, I used to live here.

And he fell flat
out on the couch.

I thought he was dead.

[coughing]

And then I heard that, and
I hung up on the 911 lady.

Do they really still use
the Dewey Decimal System?

Hello?

Hello?

Why don't you let
him sleep it off?

It's gonna be a lot
easier when he's lucid.

Gwenny, there's a complete
stranger with keys to my house

sleeping on my sofa.

I want to know
how this happened.

Yeah, well, maybe when he
can speak, he'll tell you.

Right now, you're just gonna
get a bunch of psychedelic puke

from him.

So just let him sleep, OK?

[retching]

Well, you got the
psychedelic puke anyway.

[phone ringing]

Hello?

BEAU (ON PHONE):
David, Jesus, man.

What's the matter with you?

Who is this?

BEAU (ON PHONE):
It's your agent?

Who do you think it is?

Beau?

BEAU (ON PHONE):
You're damn right, boy.

Listen up.

Why didn't you call
me back yesterday?

I have some very
important people

who want to meet with you.

I didn't get your
message until after 6:00.

BEAU (ON PHONE): And you
thought I had a life?

I was in the office
till after 10:00.

There's a lot about this
business you need to learn,

pal.
Listen.

Where are you?

The LIE.

Look, I've set up a meeting
with PBS, this afternoon,

my office, noon.

My office-- you
remember where that is?

Agents shouldn't be sarcastic.

Agents are only sarcastic.

Anything real that comes
from it is accidental.

DAVID (ON PHONE): Comforting.

You're damn right it's
comforting, you asshole.

I'm the only one who's
gonna tell you the truth

in this whole fucking business.

Now this afternoon--

I can't.

I start a job at the library.

The hell you do.

Look, don't dick with me, David.

This is PBS, mating
insects or some shit.

Right up your reality
fucking alley.

Am I wrong, pal?

It sounds cool, but I--

But nothing.

Look, you find your
ass there, or you

get yourself a new agent.

Shit.

You've gotta be kidding.

Look.

I'm sorry, David.

But Beau asked me to tell
you that the guys from PBS

canceled the meeting, and
he'll call you when they--

when they want to reschedule.

Oh.

So, what?

So?

Go home.

You should be more careful.

I'm sorry, I didn't
see you until I just--

Yeah, I noticed.

I saw you coming up the street.

I hoped you'd bump into me.

What?

Why?

Are you kidding?

'Cause you're cute.

You know, I, um-- I live here.

Can I get you a cup of coffee?

Um.

Sure.

I'm Mark.

David.

Come on.

So.

So.

I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.

I can't do this.

I'm sorry.

Shit.

[music "william tell overture"]

Are you David?

Yes.

Uh.

And you are?

Walter.

Walter Pryor.

How provincial.

No, not really.

Look, um-- I don't mean to
be rude, but who are you?

I'm sorry.

This must be odd.

Odd?

Yeah, it must be.

Well, yes.

Anyway, I used to live here.

And two nights ago, I had
a riff with my girlfriend,

and she told me to go
back from whence I came.

And since I used to live here--

You took her literally.

Yeah.

14 hours of scotch.

Uh-huh.

Understandable, I think.

You OK?

Oh.

I mean, did I interrupt?

Yeah.

Yeah, a lot of self-pity.

You interrupted the
king of self-deprecation

in an intense practice session.

Hm.

Sorrow.

Makes for a bad day, doesn't it?

Yeah, you could say that.

Strange choice of wallowing
music though, don't you think?

The "William Tell Overture"?

"The Lone Ranger."

Sorry?

"The Lone Ranger" theme.

Oh, yeah.

Hi-ho, Silver, away.

All that.

It's a pop-ish reference though.

I mean, it's a classic piece.

Yes, I know that.

But it's just I have this,
um, thing about heroes.

Gwen and I, together,
have this thing.

Gwen is the other
woman who lives here.

Yeah.

Gwen and I met this
morning when I rose.

She's a charming girl.

She's charming.

She said that I could use
the shower and the telephone.

Right.

Anyway, we have this
thing about heroes.

See, we don't have a lot of
luck with men in general, Gwen

and I. And we get depressed.

And we talk about heroes.

I mean, it's like a
game, a fantasy thing.

Do you really talk that
way, or is it a put-on?

My, you are in a
foul mood, aren't you?

So you don't have
any luck with men?

But you are homosexual.

Yeah.

So you fantasize
about heroes, eh?

Yeah.

Um, you know, knights
in shining armor

to save us from the banality.

Decent men through
history who were

there for us when we need them.

Batman, Superman
and the like, huh?

Well, Batman, yes.

Superman, no.

Why not?

Isn't his movie stylish enough?

Look, it's complicated, OK?

No, I'm sorry.

This intrigues me.

Please go on.

OK.

Well, see, Superman was
a guy from another planet

who had all these special
powers that made him invincible.

But Batman was
just a really smart

guy with a lot of
money who bought

a lot of really neat equipment.

And he was human.

He had-- he screwed up.

I mean, he killed
people after all.

What?

And you consider that an
important human trait?

The ability to commit murder?

No.

No.

What I meant was he
got carried away.

Right?

I mean, he had human emotions.

He was a human being.

But, besides, we
try to stay away

from the obviously
fictional heroes.

We tend to move more
toward religious

and historical figures.

Ah.

Some would say that
the religious heroes

are the most fictitious.

"Some would say"?

No one talks that way.

All right.

I got your message
when I called in.

I know you're
having a lousy day.

But I got a case of
beer and some noodles,

so let's just get
fucked up and whine.

Can I help?

Oh, you're still here?

Well, yeah.

Have a beer.

No, no.

You sit down.

I shall pour for all.

OK.

Thank you.

Do you love him?

Why would he lie?

I mean, he's so polite.

I know.

It's kinda creepy, isn't it?

I mean, he's kinda cute.

Cute?

He's flat out strange.

Like Jon Voight in
"Midnight Cowboy"?

Oh, come on.

I swear to god.

Like that scene where he's
trying to hustle that woman

with the money, like there.

Well, OK.

But I was thinking more like,
like Martin Short, you know?

He's got this Ed Grimley.

Shut up.

No, he does.

And then Crispin Glover.

Oh, god.

All right, maybe Crispin
Glover in like, "River's Edge,"

but no way him in like,
"Back to the Future."

Look, man.

He wears a tie.

I know.

But he's an artist.

Oh, that's important.

[laughter]

What are you guys
laughing about?

Oh, um, nothing.

You know.

Mating habits and such.

What are yours?

What do you mean?

Well, tell us, Walter.

Are you a screamer?

A what?

David.

No, what?

You don't have
to embarrass him.

He's obviously
interested in one of us.

I mean, granted,
it's probably you.

But this way, we can
get it out in the open.

So tell us, Walt,
how loud do you plow?

David!

No, no.

It's quite all right.

The boy's obviously in
need of some amusement.

Now I want to make it
clear that I am not limited

to what I'm about to show you.

Please stand up.

And I will demonstrate one
of my favorite techniques.

OK.

Hello there.

I like to enter from behind.

And cross my arms like this so
that I may tease each nipple

and hold the chest
while I softly

whisper into my partner's
ear how much she means to me.

Don't call me Walt.
I don't do animation

nor do I believe in cryogenics.

My name is Walter, and
I only do live action.

And one more thing.

"The Lone Ranger"
was fictitious.

Oh, you're a hot one.

You better snap him up,
Gwendolyn, or I'm gonna

start a conversion campaign.

Nighty night, boys and girls.

So.

You wanna try it?

Mm-hmm.

Now.

[laughing]

[moaning]

[phone ringing]

Hello.

David.

How you doing this morning?

Boy, you artist types
really sleep late.

DAVID (ON PHONE):
What time is it?

It's 8:30.

DAVID (ON PHONE): That's late?

I get up at 6:30
for the drive in.

I knew there was a reason
I lived in the city.

What's up, Beau?

PBS wants to reschedule,
today, 1 o'clock.

DAVID (ON PHONE): OK.

Good.

Oh, fuck.

Scott?

It's David.

Is he there?

Is he mad?

OK, I'll hold.

Well, you're a
lucky boy, David.

Look, I don't want to know
why you didn't show up.

Just know they didn't
show up either.

Look, we're gonna reschedule.

Monday at 10:00 AM.

Be rested.

Oh my god.

All this real food.

I don't know if my stomach's
gonna be able to handle this.

You really shouldn't drink
on the job, you know.

Oh, does this qualify as a job?

I hadn't noticed.

Life sorta sucks
all around, don't it?

We do OK.

Yeah, I guess.

We do.

What's the matter?

I don't know.

I'm in some horrible rut.

I lost my job at the library.

Already?

Fuck.

How?

Well, my agent scheduled
a meeting with PBS.

Well, that's great.

Yeah, it would be
if they'd showed.

They didn't show?

No.

They rescheduled twice.

And I don't even
know what they want.

I mean, Beau can't be
specific about the project,

just that it's some documentary.

So I don't even know
if I'm suited for it.

Well, of course
you're suited for it.

I mean, he picked you.

It means he must believe in you.

Yeah, I'd like to think so.

But I don't know.

I mean, it doesn't
seem that he's

really interested in my work,
just in-- well, he's gay,

you know.

He's gay?

Really?

That man is gay?

Yes.

He's so bland and sweaty.

You know him?

BOTH: Christmas party.

Right.

So you think--

I don't know.

I don't know.

I would like to
think that he signed

me because he looked at my tape
and he thought it was good.

I mean, I know that
he looked at my tape

'cause he thought I was cute.

And I don't really want to think
about any other possibilities.

Yeah.

I can understand that.

It's just I don't
know what to do.

I walk around, you
know, and I think

about "Hamlet." "To
be or not to be,"

the big speech,
the big question.

See, only that is not
the fucking question,

because you gotta be.

Right?

'Cause if not, then you're like
suicidal, and that's crazy.

So you gotta be.

So then you're left
with what to do.

Because you can't just be,
you gotta be doing something.

So that should be the
fucking question--

what to do or not to do?

Man, you are upset.

Oh, you noticed.

Why did you come here?

To have dinner with you.

No, to New York.

To make films.

Then do it.

It's not as simple as that, OK?

I kinda think it is.

Easy for you to say.

You just recently got some.

A good fuck always
makes you cavalier.

This is not about my sex
life, and you know that.

I know.

I'm changing the subject.

He was awesome.

And you know you could
get it anytime you want.

I know.

How awesome?

Thor.

The thunder god?

Yep.

I mean, all I know, the room
started shaking like crazy,

and there was all this noise.

Wow.

I know.

You're telling me.

So, uh, he may be around
for a couple of days.

Cool.

So, um, can he
help with the rent?

[applause]

So, walking down the
street-- true story.

You know me, always true.

59th Street,
Columbus Circle area.

See these two kids,
innocent-looking kids,

nice-looking kids.

Strolling, talking, sharing gum.

Except wrapped around
each of their necks,

humongous, snapping
boa constrictors.

I'm not kidding you.

Snapping boa constrictors.

No one is looking.

No one seems concerned.

OK.

So I continue along my day.

You know, 46th Street.

It I want to go check
out a little bistro

on Restaurant Row.

See a man, well-dressed
man, outside the bistro,

on the sidewalk, doing push-ups,
outside on the sidewalk.

46, 47, 48.

No one is looking.

No one seems concerned.

OK.

I go home.

I think it's time to go.

Listen to my voicemail.

Message from my mother.

Quote.

"Julie Lynn, I was
wondering, is Lypsinka

going to be a quick dock?"

Ah, it's time to take stock, OK?

Public calisthenics,
boa constrictors,

and mainstream Lypsinka.

This is an emergency,
people, all right?

The millennium approaches,
and I am not ready.

All right?

Oh.

Oh my god.

Oh my god.
You.

I-- wait a minute.

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry.

I'm very famous here
all of a sudden.

I can't believe it.
All right.

Ladies and gentlemen,
excuse me for one minute.

You.

You.

I know you.

I know you, don't I?

Don't I?

Tell these people
how you know me.

I don't know you.

You do.

Don't lie.

Yesterday.

What?

We-- we had an exchange.

We had an exchange.

We had an exchange.

What?

Exchange of what?

Venereal diseases?

Wedding rings?

Stocks?

What?

I don't know.

You do know.

You were there.

Like, uh-- looks, I guess.

Like a friendly
exchange of looks.

That's all.

And then what happened?

We had this exchange.

We had an exchange.

And then you came to
see me perform, right?

In this show.

I mean, why did you
come to this show?

Why?

It's because I'm fabulous.
Is that it?

Is that it?

I'm fabulous, right?

Is that-- I mean,
can you just say it?

I don't know.

Look, I've never seen
you perform before.

How am I supposed to
know if you're fabulous?

I mean, why are you doing this?

Aren't you supposed
to be doing your show?

I am doing the show, darling.

I am doing the show.

Am I not doing the show?

[applause]

Darling.

Oh my god.

Oh, I tell you.

Darling, after that
arctic chill, you know,

I think we need some
warmth and comfort.

Excuse me.

Um, look.

Mrs. Halston wants to meet you.

Would you come backstage?

[knock on door]

Come in.

Hey, sourpuss.

Boy, you know, I don't usually
misjudge people like that,

but you did not
make it easy for me.

Boy, you was a straight man.

I mean, I really had to
work for those laughs.

Sorry.

No, wait a second.

I'm not sorry.

Look, I don't know
why you picked on me,

but I thought I was
gonna come back here

and you were gonna
apologize to me.

But instead, you have
me apologizing to you.

First of all, I
did not pick on you.

So just hold that a minute.

I mean, that portion
of my show is expected.

You know, I chat with a member
of the audience every night.

I mean, usually, it's
to insult their attire.

But you know, I saw
you, and I thought

I'd try something different.

Boy, I almost bombed because
of your stodginess, young man.

So don't expect an
apology from me.

But I will buy you a cappuccino.

It really is a beautiful
night, isn't it?

And do you believe this?

Cappuccino in a can?

I mean, who'da thought it?

You know, it's
$1.50, and no tip,

and no attitude from those
like, little French gay waiters.

You know, it's the best.

Hey, I'm gay.

I didn't mean
that in a bad way.

I mean, it's not like the
gay thing that's a problem,

anymore than it is
the French thing.

It's just that attitude,
you know what I mean?

You know, you really
are a sourpuss.

No, I'm not.

You are.

No, really, I'm not.

I just-- I'm just having a
little problem with direction.

Well, what?

You don't know what
to do with your life?

No.

I mean, sort of.

I mean, I know what to do
with my life generally.

It's just the next specific
step that's a little hazy.

Well, what's the
generally part?

Films.

Jesus, no wonder
you're so sour.

What?

What's that supposed to mean?

So you want to
make a dream, huh?

Well, sort of.

I mean, I already
have the dream.

No, no, no.

You dreamt the dream.

You dreamt the dream, and
now you want to make it.

But you know, there's
this huge cavern

between fantasy and reality.

And you know, there
really is only one path,

and it's usually hard to find.

With some people,
it's discipline.

And other's, it's backbone.

But with you, I think
it's something different.

I mean, my guess would be
that your bridge is money.

Well, I guess.

But I mean, that analogy is not
exactly how I would describe--

Wait, wait.

Jesus, lighten up.

I mean, exactly is so boring.

I mean, how much do you need?

What do you want to do?

Well, um.

I want to travel
all over the country

and ask hundreds of
people the same question,

and then edit their response
into one two-hour answer.

So what's the question?

What do you hold to
be an absolute truth?

Pompous and young,
but it has potential.

You just say whatever
you feel like, don't you?

Well, I-- well, yeah.

All right, so what do you
hold to be an absolute truth?

Well, the difference
between comedy and tragedy

is perspective.

And cable TV and Valium
are made of the same stuff.

Too true, too true.

So how much money do you need?

What?

To do it the right way?

Oh.

Oh, forget the right way.

Honey, if you are
gonna be an artist,

you know, we have
to change the way

you think because the
right way-- the right way?

Forget the right way, you know?

I mean, you wait for the right
way, you'll never get it done.

Forget those big budgets, and
agents, and all that stuff.

How much money do you
need to do it your way?

Fuck.

Oh, god.

Hey, Gwenny.

There's someone here
I'd like you to meet.

Not now, David.

I'm busy.

If this is a bad time--

Oh my god.

It's Julie Halston!

God!

I am such a big fan.

I saw your last show.

I haven't seen this
one, but intend to.

Gwen, you're gushing.

I am not.

I don't gush.

I have evidence on film
if you'd like to see.

Don't be a dick.

Oh my god!

What are you doing here?

Well, I came by to see
some of David's work.

We had a nice chat
after the show,

and I thought I'd come by
and see if he has any talent.

Oh, talent, he has.

Income, another thing.

Well, Julie said that she
might be able to help me find

some investors for my work.
-No, wait a minute.

Slow down now.

I said that I would look at the
stuff, and if it was any good,

then I would show it to people.

Let's leave it at that.

[groan]

It changed me.

That boy lying by the
side of the road that way.

Blood was coming
out of his mouth.

I knew he was dead.

I was just about 35 then.

The boys-- your
dad-- was in school.

And there's this
poor colored boy

lying in the street in front
of my house one morning

when I went out to get the mail.

And he's just staring
up at the sky.

He was dead.

But his eyes, they
were still looking.

They was looking.

He ain't seeing nothing.

I imagine then, they was
looking for a reason.

And that's when I
knew we was the same,

and that my boys was wrong.

They's all running
around in them sheets,

trying to stop the integration.

'Cause they managed to think
somehow they was different.

But that dead boy in the street,
he knew, and he showed me.

They wasn't different at all.

You and your sex, well, I guess
it's the same thing, ain't it?

I'm not about to
stand around, let

those boys do to you what
they did that colored boy.

Because your eyes see things.

And they see pretty.

Everything.

Your eyes make
everything pretty.

I bet when I see this, they'll
have made that colored boy

pretty too, won't they?

DAVID: I don't know, Grandma.

Should he be pretty?

I hope he can be.

I just don't know how.

I just don't know how.

Why haven't I seen this before?

I don't know.

Um, I guess it
just never came up.

She was right, you know.

DAVID: About what?

You made him beautiful.

Thanks.

So you have this meeting
with PBS tomorrow?

Yeah, but I still don't
know what it's about?

It's nothing.

It's about nothing.

I mean, you'll meet
these two producer guys.

And they'll shake your hand, and
look at your tapes, and smile,

really big smile, you know.

And they'll blow a lot
of smoke up your ass.

And then you'll smile back.

And it'll all be over.

I mean, if they're
really feeling like,

reckless, you know,
they'll offer you a job.

But more than likely, it's
just to let them know that you

exist-- that they
should watch you

and see if you do something
with this ability you

supposedly have.

And then next year, after
you've done something else,

they'll come up to you, and
they'll say, hey, remember us?

And you'll say sure.

And then they'll
offer you a job.

But what if I haven't
done something?

Oh, you will.

I mean, you're not gonna go
to that meeting tomorrow.

If I don't go,
Beau will drop me.

-No, he won't.
-Yes, he will.

He told me so.

No, because you're going to
be doing the film with me.

He'll reschedule the meeting.

You'd be a subject for me?

Mm-mm.

I'm just gonna be there.

I mean, you'll get your
subjects the way you always do.

Well, what if Beau
doesn't go for this?

He will.

My agent is his boss.

[music man ray, "sugar, sugar"]

Thanks, mate.

[music man ray, "sugar, sugar"]

Hey, that's where
Yoko Ono lives.

Yeah, I know.

You know, we oughta
add him to the list.

Who?

Lennon?

Yeah.

We do heroes, not martyrs.

Come on.

He helped a lot of people
stand for a lot of things.

Yeah, and he made a lot
of money in the process.

It was easy for him.

I mean, nobody was there
to stand in his way,

and nobody was there
to bring him down.

Besides, sometimes, I
think the list is stupid.

All right, what happened?

I was on my way to meet you
here, and I got off the bus.

And I was walking up town.

And I saw this guy, like, six
or seven paces ahead of me.

And he had this great energy,
and very muscular back,

and a really
attractive left ear.

And I tried to
catch up with him,

but I couldn't
seem to catch him.

So I started to pray for a light
that would stop him so I could

catch up with him
and, you know, start

up a conversation or something.

But a light never comes.

And then I'm still after him.

And then someone shoves
a pamphlet in my hand.

And I try not to look at
it 'cause I know if I do,

he'll disappear.

But after a minute or two, I
can't resist, and I look down.

And I see that I'm
being invited to church

services on 63rd Street.

So like a good atheist, I wad it
up and I throw it in the trash.

And when I look up, he's gone.

I'm sorry.

See, the thing is,
it is so easy for me

to give up on the idea of God.

But at the same
time, I remain firmly

convinced this man
that I didn't even know

was the perfect man for me.

So who are you
looking for, David?

Gilgamesh.

[music tom mccormack, "missing"]

You OK?

Yeah.

I will be.

Where's Walter?

Oh, he, uh, one of his
paintings got into a gallery.

He went down to hang it.

What's the matter, honey?

I got my divorce.

All I have to do is sign it.

That's great.

When did it happen?

Papers came today with a
big, fat check from Brian.

So now it's officially
alimony, right?

That's so cool.

We should have a party.

No, I don't think we should.

I'm sorry.

I thought--

You don't know what you're
talking about, David.

What?

Gwen, the man is an asshole.

He fucked you over,
and you left him.

This is a good thing, honey.

No.

I loved him, and he hurt me.

And I gave up on him.

And he has generously
supported me for two years.

And he did not
fight my attorney's

request for an
outrageous alimony

because he's a good man.

And I loved him.

And this hurts.

I'm sorry.

I-- I didn't--

No.

You never do.

Fuck.

[MUSIC ITCHY TRIGGER FINGER,
"BURST"]

It's $10.

Please read the sign, man.

Do I frighten you?

Um, no.

It's not you.

There's something
about you I like.

It's the quick exit.

Low blow, Mr. Glasshouses.

I'm sorry.

I'm nervous.

Quick like homosexuals
and dogs, you know?

To hear my mother
tell it, anyway.

Look, can I buy you a
cappuccino or something?

You know, that's what
I love about this town.

Keep a roof over your
head long enough,

and someone's there to
buy you a cappuccino.

I don't know.

I go through phases, I guess.

Sort of celibacy to
slut and back again.

Between AIDS and
infidelity, there's

a lot of hopeful relationships.

And sometimes, I just
find masturbation to be

a little too redundant.

So a carefully placed
anonymous mouth, that's all it

is, really.

Michael, that is so gross.

What is so gross?

That flippancy,
that objectification

of the other person like he's
there to perform a service.

He is, David.

He is.

He's why I came in
there tonight, that boy.

He wasn't there to be loved.

He was there to get fucked.

I fucked him for his body.

I ignored him as a person.

He loved every minute of it.

You fucked him?

Not literally, David.

Fuck, got off with,
interchangeable.

And you enjoy that?

Don't be so provincial.

Why is that funny?
-I don't know.

I was just teasing my
roommate's boyfriend

about being too provincial.

Jesus, I'd love to meet him.

He's a great guy, really.

Yeah, I bet.

Did you vote for Reagan too?

No.

I wasn't old enough.

Then what happened?

He died.

He was very sick
for a long time.

And I see all these people,
you know, like Larry Kramer.

And they are yelling,
and screaming,

and trying to blame the world
around them for the fact

that they were robbed of love.

And I wonder how they could be
so sure that the one that died

is the one that
would've stuck around.

I've been with three men
for more than two years,

and they are like,
all really great guys.

But men just like,
move on, you know?

They just do.

But you want more, right?

I mean, you want to believe that
someone will be there for life,

that you have a perfect
match, and you'll be together

for the rest of your life.

I think it's that fantasy
that makes everything go wrong.

There is no perfect match.

There are people who
complement each other.

And these people that are
well-balanced get together,

and they think they're
supposed to be perfect.

Then they go on thinking
that they are perfect.

And then something happens.

And years ago, you know, people
used to find ways around it.

Now they just like, move on.

They go looking elsewhere.

Why do you think that is?

Because we have
this instant life.

We don't like our environment,
we get a button, we push it.

Our environment
changes instantaneously

with no repercussions.

What are you talking about?

Cable TV.

[waves crashing]

Sorry, I'm like,
the only white boy

who doesn't own a CD player.

Yeah, I think you are.

The apartment makes up for it.

Yeah.

It's a real estate wet dream.

Sorry.

We'll-- we'll have to
do better than this.

I get seasick.

There you go.

[MUSIC NINA SIMONE, "A SINGLE
WOMAN"]

I'm impressed.

Not many boys your age
appreciate Nina Simone.

Not many boys your age
appreciate Nina Simone.

You sure about this?

Yeah.

Here, put this on.

Um.

I meant on you.

Oh.

OK.

[coughing]

[phone ringing]

Hello?

David, I just left my
office with two very pissed

off PBS execs.

Now where the fuck are you?

And this better be good.

Don't worry.

It is.

Wait.

What does that mean?

David?

David!

Dav-- oh for!

Jesus.

Hey, Julie.

Where are you?

I'm waiting on your call.

I'm at home.

Not going anywhere.

OK.

Thanks.

I gotta go soon.

I know.

I know.

So what?

She didn't call at all?

Not a peep.

Oh, man.

And I ditched the meeting
at her suggestion too.

That totally sucks.

And I thought she
was gonna be so cool.

She turns out to
be full of shit.

I guess.

So, um.

You haven't mentioned it.

I am only chomping at the bit,
waiting for you to tell me.

Michael.

So?

Where'd you meet him, mister?

When I went to bed,
you were sleeping.

You went out
prowling, didn't you?

I couldn't sleep.

And?

I think, um-- I love him.

David, you just met him.

-I know, I know, I know.
-Oh my god.

It's pathetic.

I know.

Well, so is it mutual, or what?

Well, when I saw him,
he was with another guy.

But I left, and he-- he
like bolted out to catch me.

What do you mean he
was with another guy?

Well, there aren't
that many places

to go at 3:00 AM, Winnie.

Oh, Jesus.

David, I hope you were careful.

Urgently careful.

Oh, what does that mean?

Urgently careful?

The whole safety thing.

I mean, it was amazing.

He could make it such
a part of the act

that it became just as
urgent as the sex itself.

Wow.

You're telling me.

So?

Is he Gilgamesh?

No.

Then who?

His name is Michael.

Gwen.

He gave me the cable test.

Hey, you know, you really should
get some better security around

here.

I mean, anybody could just
walk right in and kill you

if they didn't like your show.

Oh, are you just anybody?

I mean, you did
single-handedly destroy

the day of one of
the more powerful

agents in New York City.

What?

Wait.

You told me not to
go to the meeting.

I told you to call up, and
cancel, and then reschedule.

And not to stand him up and
then hang up on him, David.

I mean, Jesus, what
were you thinking?

It wasn't intentional.

You know, I think
I did misjudge you.

I think you'd better go.

I have another show.

Would you sign those already?

Would you mind
your own business?

Gwen, it's over.

What's the problem?

You are such a dick.

I thought he was the dick.

No, you assumed
that he was the dick.

You never thought that I
might've been the dick.

What?

You never once
thought that I might've

been the one who fucked up.

Gwen.

God, David, you have
so much to learn.

Gwen.

Talk to me.

What happened?

You only get to know
people so well, David.

[music playing]

David.

He was here again
last night, wasn't he?

I wish.

Someone else?

You slut.

No.

I smoked them.

I was out late working,
and he had left them here.

And I figured I'd give it a try.

And?

And I have a pounding headache,
and you're making it worse.

Oh, I'm so sorry, but it
is your fault. At least

he called you though, didn't he?

No.

I'm sorry.

Don't worry about it.

He will.

Oh, and David.

I hate to mention it,
but the rent is due.

And don't smoke.

It's bad for you.

[music - julee cruz, "crazy"]

I'm sorry about before.

I was looking for someone.

Yeah, aren't we all?

Jesus.

David.

What are you doing here?

Hey, David.

Jesus!

What's the matter with you?

Men suck.

I thought that's what
you liked about them.

Oh, don't be a dick.

I wasn't.

No, it's just his
attempt at being crude.

What happened?

I went looking for Michael.

And?

I found him.

[knock on door]

MICHAEL: David!

Open up.

I want to talk to you.

Who are you?

Is this Michael?

DAVID: Yes.

Marry him.

I'm supposed to marry
my hero, not yours.

What did you do to him?

Explain yourself.

If I could find out,
I'd-- wait a minute.

You slugged me on his behalf,
you don't even know why?

What can I say?

I like the boy.

You must be the provincial one.

I knew I wasn't gonna
enjoy meeting you.

Oh, well, I'm more patrician
than provincial, really.

And fuck you too.

No, no.

It was an instinct,
not a judgment.

Where is he?

Oh, he bolted
about the time you

showed signs of coming around.

Fuck.

Fuck.

You like the boy then?

Yeah, isn't that obvious?

He really likes you.

Are you sure?

Very.

They why did he run away?

And why did he hit me?

Oh, that was me.

I'm sorry.

A rather Jacobian impulse.

No.

No, no, no.

Before, on the
street, he hit me too.

What do you mean?

You got hit twice, and
you still want to see him?

I know.

It's like a really bad Rock
Hudson, Doris Day movie, huh?

Except I'm starting to
feel like Tony Randall.

Oh.

Tony Randall.

Shudder.

Jeez, pal.

If I'd known he'd decked you,
I never would've felt the need.

I never thought the
guy had it in him.

I mean, to be walloped twice
in the same day, it's too much.

I'm so sorry.

Jesus, you are polite.

Why do you take the train?

'Cause it lets me out
underneath my house.

It's late.

I know.

I had some drinks with
friends after the show.

And you?

Running away.

You're running uptown?

That's a bad choice.

So boring.

I mean, at least Chelsea.

Oh, I forgot.

I'm not talking to you.

Exactly why is that?

Uh, you made me look bad.

I didn't even
mention your name.

No, I know.
I mentioned yours.

Oh.

Mm-hmm.

I should just move back home.

Where?

Illinois.

Where?

Joliet.

My mother now
lives in Naperville.

I guess we're
bound by geography.

ANNOUNCER: Attention,
passengers.

Uptown service at
this station has

been temporarily discontinued.

We apologize for
the inconvenience.

Well, it looks like
we're gonna find

another mode of transportation.

We?

Yeah.

We.

You and me.

So this guy was headed
back into the sex club,

and you just slugged him?

Well, kind of.

Should I be on guard?

I mean, this guy and I committed
the same sin, you know.

Neither of us called you.

Are you gonna deck me?

It's different.

Oh, you don't know that.

Sit down.

Do you want a drink?

Sure.

Juice, soda, water?

Do you have coffee?

No.

No, I don't.

We could go out for some.

No, soda's fine.

Uh, well, diet,
regular, Sprite?

Diet.

OK.

Caffeine or no caffeine?

Caffeine, please.

OK.

Ice or no ice?

Is it cold?

Yeah.

No ice.
No.

Ice.

Well, which?

Ice.

Oh, OK.

Listen, David, I-- I know
you don't want to hear this,

and I know it's a push
day, but you know,

you really gotta give
yourself time to grow up.

You've gotta like, think
things through before you act.

But he was headed
back into the sex club.

Which was his haunt, which you
knew, which was his behavior.

You know, love doesn't
change people, honey.

Only time does.

I mean, what you have, the
potential for love, it's scary,

you know?

I mean, it brings forth
all these possibilities

and oh, you get so hopeful.

But if you want love to last,
you've gotta see the now,

and accept him for who he is,
and support his evolution.

I mean, you can't expect
him to be his best

just because you want it.

That'll make him hate you.

That's pretty wise
for a spinster.

You really are a prick.

What?

Well, one last
lesson, little boy.

And if you don't get this
one, you're on your own.

Come on.

-Hi.
-Hi.

How are you?

Fine.

So how is he doing?

He had a good day.

Good, good.

I think I can take over now.

-Oh, OK.
-All right.

How are you doing?
-Fine.

-Good, Brenda.
-How about you?

I'm fine.

Good.

-All right.
-OK.

Well, safe home.

You too.

We'll see you tomorrow.

OK.

David.

Sit down.

Yeah.

You know who I am today?

That's good.

I'm sorry I'm late.

I ran into a friend.

This is David, the young
filmmaker I told you about.

David, this is my lover, Danny.

Hello.

Hi.

OK.

Relax.

Relax, sweetie.

Relax.

Shh.

Shh.

Relax.

Yeah.

Yeah.

We're just gonna be
outside in the other room.

We're gonna talk.

OK?

OK.

You rest.

I had no idea.

No.

And you couldn't have.

But you assumed
because you're young.

And you can't feel
badly about that.

What's, um-- the problem?

One guess.

I never saw anyone before.

How?

Don't be stupid.

It happens.

I mean, in this
day and age, people

get sick for being human.

He did a lot of drugs and
slept with a lot of women.

We were never monogamous
and never married.

Why not?

At some point,
you learn that life

makes rules uniquely for you.

And it's your job to
figure out what they are

and how to live by them.

And it wasn't in our rule book.

You still could.

Well, not until he can stand
and walk down the aisle.

I'm truly sorry.

For everything.

I know.

I know.

Should I go now?

Yes.

You should.

[MUSIC THUNDER'S MONKEY, "DAVID
SEARCHING"]

Hey, Gwen.

Where have you been?

I made up with Julie.

At 5:00 in the morning?

It's a long story, I'm sorry.

Where is he?

Who?

Your knight in shining armor
with the two black eyes?

Yes, yes.

Where is he?

Um, him and Walter went down
to the diner for breakfast.

Which one?

I don't know.
They're guys.

For all I know, they
went to the sports bar.

Da--

Michael!

Michael!

Do you want to go out with me?

I said, do you want
to go out with me?

I heard you.

DAVID: Well?

Why did you hit me?

It's not important anymore.

Maybe not for you.

Hi.

Hey.

Why did you hit me?

Well, I don't know.

I mean, I saw you going
back to that place.

And you hadn't called.

And I got so mad.

Oh, David.

The B2?

I wasn't going back there.

I live across the street.

I was coming home from dinner.

Oh, wow.

Oh, I'm sorry.

You are crazy.

That too.

So, do you want
to go out with me?

You are crazy?

Will I need padded protection?

Just latex.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Was I making assumptions again?

Yes.

It's OK though.

You're young.

I wish people would
stop saying that.

Well, we will.

In a couple of years.

Where are the boys?

Oh, David's asleep,
and Mike went home.

I believe his
preference is Michael.

You really are a
geek, aren't you?

Well.

Yeah.

Oh my god.

Why is that so funny, my lady?

Oh, wait.

"My" lady?

No, it's not "my" lady.

It's an expression, you know.

Like milady?

Milady?

Are you making fun of me, Gwen?

Are you making fun of me, Gwen?

If you're making fun of me,
I'd like for you to stop now.

OK, I'm very so--
OK, I'm gonna stop.

I'm gonna--

I have something
important to say,

and I'd like for you
to be calm for it.

OK.

I am very calm.

OK.

I can't--

It's OK.

I'll wait.

Oh, no.
Please, speak.

Pray tell.

OK.

I'll behave now.

I've been to see a realtor.

You're moving out.

Well, now I know.

Well, talk.

I want you.

I-- I mean, um, I
want to be with you.

Oh my god.

What?

You thought this was real?

What do you mean?

Oh my god.

I mean this.

You thought this was real?

I don't understand you, Gwen.

I can't marry you, Walter.

I know that.

I mean, I can't-- I
can't even be with you.

Why?

Oh, god.

Walter, you are great.

I mean, sex with you is like
nothing in the entire world.

But that's what it
is-- sex with you.

And it's like this
great drunk, you know?

And it takes me away from all
my problems, from my life.

And then when I sober
up, they're-- they're all

still there.

And I have to deal
with all of those.

So I, uh-- I suppose I'll
be getting my own place.

Yeah.

I'm sorry.

What are you doing?

Well, just because it's
not going any place doesn't

mean it has to stop, does it?

Yeah, I'm kind
of afraid it does.

Whoa.

Whoa, slow down.

You dumped him?

Well, yeah.

You just like, walked
away from all that scream

sex, just like that?

He just wanted
too much from me.

And I liked him too
much to lead him on.

Anyway.

I don't want to be
tied up right now.

He tied you up?

Oh, David, you
know what I mean.

Look.

I don't want to talk
about me right now, OK?

What are you doing tonight?

Are you gonna see Michael?

Mm-mm.

Why not?

He's busy.

So what are you gonna do?

What I've been doing all day.

What?

Asking questions.

Gwen.

What do you hold to
be an absolute truth?

A what?

DAVID: Michael.

Hm?

DAVID: What do you think
to be an absolute truth?

What?

Oh, boy.

Seriously?

I have no idea.

What are you talking about?

That we're
destroying the ozone.

Excuse me.

You're joking?

Um, um--

I'm completely lost.

Sounds corney if
you say it out loud.

I will someday die,
hopefully when I'm very old.

Well, um, that's
sort of pejorative.

It's all really
language, isn't it?

I really do think that
there's good in everybody.

Confusion.

And joy.

What's an absolute truth?

I don't know.

I don't know if there
is an absolute truth.

Is there?

An absolute truth?

There is no such thing.

Nothing is what
you think it is.

Sleep.

Sleep.

Death.

Taxes.

Taxes.

Laughter.

Tears.

And orgasm.

I mean, the releases
of the human spirit.

That my mommy loves me.

There's nothing that's
an absolute truth.

Hitler was a bad person.

He killed many people.

That's the absolute truth.

Men suck.

One is the loneliest
number that you'll ever see.

I don't think there is such
a thing as an absolute truth.

You don't really
need the absolute.

I mean, truth is truth.

You can't know what
truth is unless you

get the right amount of sleep.

Dickey is much better
nickname than Dick.

Hootie and the Blowfish
signals the death of music.

That I'm always gonna be out of
work at some point in my life.

Nothing is black and
white, cut and dry.

Well, actually, maybe this
movie that you're doing

is black and white,
but nothing else.

It's not really black or white.

I mean, it is black and white.

There's no gray area.

One must eat to live.

Because every time I think
something is absolutely true,

I am proven wrong
the next minute.

So I guess the
absolute truth is chaos.

God.

That's it.

God.

God.

That's absolute, as
absolute as you can get.

I think it is absolutely
true that human beings are

destroying the world
through violence,

and greed, and carelessness.

And we must stop.

Sleep is the truth.

Good night.

And now I'm embarrassed.

[MUSIC THUNDER'S MONKEY, "DAVID
SEARCHING"]

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