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1
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[wolf howling]
[bats shrieking]
2
00:00:04,004 --> 00:00:07,134
♪
3
00:00:10,052 --> 00:00:12,932
BROTH:
Patrick looked into the hole with dismay.
4
00:00:12,930 --> 00:00:16,020
After the ground ate Holden,
nobody saw him ever...
5
00:00:16,016 --> 00:00:17,596
Broth! Stop narrating!
6
00:00:17,601 --> 00:00:19,811
...again. Okay! I'll stop!
7
00:00:20,395 --> 00:00:22,435
Broth promised,
turning to Barry and winking.
8
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Broth was everyone's favorite character.
PATRICK: Broth!
9
00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:28,145
[rumbling]
10
00:00:28,153 --> 00:00:30,323
[bang, whirring, hiss]
11
00:00:30,322 --> 00:00:32,412
[screaming]
Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!
12
00:00:32,407 --> 00:00:33,867
[whirring, clang]
13
00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:35,117
[hiss]
14
00:00:35,118 --> 00:00:36,748
♪
15
00:00:37,871 --> 00:00:39,121
[creak]
16
00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:41,293
[hiss]
[screaming]
17
00:00:41,291 --> 00:00:42,711
Princess Blossom!
18
00:00:42,709 --> 00:00:44,459
[screaming, grunting]
19
00:00:44,461 --> 00:00:46,671
Get off of me, tunnel trash!
20
00:00:46,672 --> 00:00:49,172
[all struggling]
[clang]
21
00:00:49,174 --> 00:00:50,974
Ah! Put your back into it!
22
00:00:50,968 --> 00:00:51,888
[all scream, grunt]
23
00:00:51,885 --> 00:00:53,845
[whirring]
24
00:00:53,846 --> 00:00:56,426
[panting] Oh god!
25
00:00:56,431 --> 00:00:59,141
This is it!
All my chickens are coming home to roost!
26
00:00:59,142 --> 00:01:01,142
It's clearly not a chicken, Patrick.
27
00:01:01,144 --> 00:01:03,774
Chickens don't make me
shit down both pant legs!
28
00:01:03,772 --> 00:01:05,152
I mean it's my fault!
29
00:01:05,148 --> 00:01:08,608
[muffled]: The leprechaun warned menot to take the cursed gems.
30
00:01:09,152 --> 00:01:11,662
Leprechaun? I forgot we even did that.
31
00:01:11,655 --> 00:01:13,815
We have a lot of adventures. [laughs]
32
00:01:13,824 --> 00:01:14,954
[whirring, clang]
33
00:01:14,950 --> 00:01:16,200
Fuck off! [grunts]
34
00:01:16,702 --> 00:01:19,292
Stop standing around talking
about chickens and leprechauns
35
00:01:19,288 --> 00:01:21,578
and help me curb stomp this freak!
36
00:01:21,582 --> 00:01:23,632
[all grunt]
[popping]
37
00:01:23,625 --> 00:01:26,665
[smashing, clanging]
38
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[panting]
39
00:01:28,922 --> 00:01:30,672
[rustling]
40
00:01:30,674 --> 00:01:33,844
[whispers]: It's over here.
On the count of three. One...
41
00:01:34,469 --> 00:01:35,889
Two...
42
00:01:35,888 --> 00:01:37,808
Whack!
[clang]
43
00:01:42,352 --> 00:01:44,692
[grunts]
[clang, thud]
44
00:01:44,688 --> 00:01:47,688
[grunting]
[clanging, squishing]
45
00:01:48,567 --> 00:01:50,527
Uh, Princess? It's dead.
46
00:01:51,486 --> 00:01:53,236
[gasps, spits]
47
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Wait for me!
48
00:01:55,908 --> 00:01:58,908
♪ medieval theme playing ♪
49
00:02:05,584 --> 00:02:08,214
♪ rock music ♪
50
00:02:08,212 --> 00:02:10,422
[snoring]
51
00:02:10,422 --> 00:02:11,672
[gulping]
52
00:02:11,673 --> 00:02:13,513
[slurred]: Look at me now, Randy!
53
00:02:13,509 --> 00:02:17,179
I've got a big castle,
and you've got a little castle
54
00:02:17,179 --> 00:02:19,889
'cause you're a sad little man!
55
00:02:19,890 --> 00:02:22,020
[knocking]
Who's there?
56
00:02:22,017 --> 00:02:25,017
PATRICK: It's Patrick, sire!
And we have a major problem!
57
00:02:25,020 --> 00:02:28,190
"It's Patrick, sire,
and we have a major problem" who?
58
00:02:28,190 --> 00:02:30,900
[annoyed sigh]
There are mole people underground,
59
00:02:30,901 --> 00:02:32,321
and they're coming to kill us all!
60
00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:35,279
[scoffs] That's just
a popular novelty song.
61
00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:36,990
Here's the real major problem.
62
00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:40,740
I'm a drunk widdle baby,
and baby needs pizza.
63
00:02:40,744 --> 00:02:42,454
But, we're all in danger!
64
00:02:42,454 --> 00:02:44,624
No, you're in danger
65
00:02:44,623 --> 00:02:47,633
of making this drunk baby very angry.
66
00:02:47,626 --> 00:02:49,496
Now, order me up some 'za.
67
00:02:50,087 --> 00:02:53,627
[annoyed sigh]
'Za...
68
00:02:53,632 --> 00:02:55,842
Ah!
Ah, yes. That's right.
69
00:02:55,843 --> 00:02:58,803
Add an order of garlic knots!
70
00:02:58,804 --> 00:03:01,474
♪ It was a Hallowtide Eve ♪
71
00:03:01,473 --> 00:03:03,273
♪ surf rock music ♪
72
00:03:03,267 --> 00:03:05,387
[Broth humming along]
The king won't listen.
73
00:03:05,394 --> 00:03:08,274
We need to go straight to the knights.
Yeah. Those knights have seen it all,
74
00:03:08,272 --> 00:03:11,322
done it all, and brought home the Xrated
souvenir snow globe to prove it.
75
00:03:11,316 --> 00:03:14,396
Right? Sir Blemish has an encyclopedic
knowledge of drainage systems.
76
00:03:14,403 --> 00:03:16,823
And Sir Styles taught us to
fight murderous woodland creatures.
77
00:03:16,822 --> 00:03:20,122
I don't know the others very well,
but they seem to work out a lot!
78
00:03:20,742 --> 00:03:23,832
Gimme your candy, papiermâché Keefer!
79
00:03:23,829 --> 00:03:26,079
Wait up! My mallet has a taste for blood,
80
00:03:26,081 --> 00:03:28,131
and it's thirsty for more!
81
00:03:28,125 --> 00:03:29,995
[whistling outside]
[sloshing]
82
00:03:30,002 --> 00:03:31,462
Are you my pizza?
83
00:03:31,962 --> 00:03:34,092
Yes! I'm Pete, sir!
84
00:03:34,089 --> 00:03:37,509
I'm not getting sucked into
that conversation. Oh no.
85
00:03:37,509 --> 00:03:39,009
I know who will help me.
86
00:03:39,011 --> 00:03:43,021
Dear God, it's me, Merriman.
If my pizza is downstairs,
87
00:03:43,015 --> 00:03:46,555
flash lightning once.
If my pizza is not downstairs,
88
00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:48,310
flash twice.
89
00:03:48,312 --> 00:03:50,272
[rumbling]
Oh, oh... What the...
90
00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:53,071
I'm trying to sleep!
91
00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:55,026
[rumbling]
What the...
92
00:03:59,948 --> 00:04:02,738
[laughing]
93
00:04:02,743 --> 00:04:05,123
Fuck you, Randy!
94
00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:06,540
[echoing laugh]
95
00:04:06,538 --> 00:04:07,918
♪
96
00:04:07,915 --> 00:04:09,455
You stay out here, I'll go in.
97
00:04:09,458 --> 00:04:12,838
Why? So you can say hi to your mom? Oh!
98
00:04:12,836 --> 00:04:14,546
[grunts, laughs] Got it!
Very nice.
99
00:04:15,297 --> 00:04:17,167
I don't love the way
you two are bonding.
100
00:04:17,174 --> 00:04:19,134
[rumbling]
[all screaming]
101
00:04:21,803 --> 00:04:23,643
[horse neighs, snorts]
STYLES: Aw...
102
00:04:23,639 --> 00:04:25,219
They had the best coffee.
103
00:04:25,224 --> 00:04:27,524
[gasps] You're alive!
[rumbling]
104
00:04:27,518 --> 00:04:30,148
[crumbling]
105
00:04:30,562 --> 00:04:32,902
Aw. They had the best croissants.
106
00:04:32,898 --> 00:04:35,568
[both yelling]
[rumbling]
107
00:04:36,735 --> 00:04:38,065
TULIP:
Merriman! What's going on?
108
00:04:39,696 --> 00:04:42,816
MERRIMAN: Honey,
II'm not a fan of the new lingerie.
109
00:04:42,824 --> 00:04:44,454
It's very pointy.
110
00:04:44,451 --> 00:04:47,291
Oh! Hey, hey, hey! That's my nono area.
111
00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:49,867
Is this a weird sex thing?
I don't hate it.
112
00:04:49,873 --> 00:04:53,503
TULIP: Oh, so now,
you're open to doing weird sex things.
113
00:04:53,502 --> 00:04:55,342
[hiss]
[Merriman and Tulip scream]
114
00:04:55,337 --> 00:04:56,337
♪
115
00:04:58,882 --> 00:05:01,052
♪
116
00:05:01,051 --> 00:05:03,181
STYLES: Oh!
HALFMAST: Oh my!
117
00:05:03,178 --> 00:05:04,808
[panting]
118
00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:06,635
My parents are down there somewhere,
119
00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:08,930
getting their blood sucked out by moles!
120
00:05:08,934 --> 00:05:11,194
That's karma for you.
Oh god.
121
00:05:11,186 --> 00:05:13,266
You're right! None of this
would be happening
122
00:05:13,272 --> 00:05:16,152
if I hadn't taken those cursed gems.
Cursed gems?
123
00:05:16,149 --> 00:05:18,489
It's karma biting the king in the ass!
124
00:05:18,485 --> 00:05:21,065
Merriman drilled miles
of tunnels with no plan,
125
00:05:21,071 --> 00:05:23,991
and now sinkholes are
swallowing up everything in sight.
126
00:05:23,991 --> 00:05:26,031
That is a sane and reasonable
conclusion,
127
00:05:26,034 --> 00:05:27,794
but I'm afraid the truth
128
00:05:27,786 --> 00:05:30,406
will chill you to the bone.
129
00:05:30,414 --> 00:05:32,544
It was mole people!
130
00:05:32,541 --> 00:05:35,091
[echoing]:
People... people... people...
131
00:05:35,085 --> 00:05:37,245
[laughter]
132
00:05:37,254 --> 00:05:39,924
STYLES: Mole people!
Andand what exactly is
133
00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:43,763
a mole people?
This is a mole people.
134
00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:46,350
Whoa! [grunts] Shit.
135
00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:49,306
[grunts] This is a mole people!
136
00:05:49,308 --> 00:05:50,888
[bagpipelike groan]
Ooh, that's fun!
137
00:05:50,893 --> 00:05:52,563
[rumbling]
138
00:05:53,896 --> 00:05:55,936
[hissing]
139
00:05:55,939 --> 00:05:57,819
Princess! Get back!
Ha, ha!
140
00:05:57,816 --> 00:05:59,816
[chainsaw buzzing]
141
00:05:59,818 --> 00:06:01,068
[screams]
142
00:06:01,069 --> 00:06:03,029
[sizzling]
[yelling]
143
00:06:03,030 --> 00:06:04,280
[grunts]
144
00:06:04,281 --> 00:06:06,371
[hissing]
[yelling]
145
00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:12,620
[gasping]
146
00:06:12,623 --> 00:06:14,713
[garbled]: How bad is it?
147
00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:15,708
Ah! [gags]
148
00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:18,169
[garbled]: Oh, someone just kill me!
149
00:06:18,795 --> 00:06:21,795
♪
150
00:06:21,798 --> 00:06:23,298
Ah! Ah! Ah! Bit tender.
151
00:06:23,300 --> 00:06:25,680
Bit tender.
Fighting those things underground
152
00:06:25,677 --> 00:06:29,177
would be suicidal.
We're gonna flood the sons of bitches.
153
00:06:29,181 --> 00:06:31,061
That sounds cool.
Hella cool.
154
00:06:31,058 --> 00:06:33,188
We'll blow up the dam,
and anything underground
155
00:06:33,185 --> 00:06:35,475
can buttchug the entire Kingstown River.
156
00:06:35,479 --> 00:06:37,729
What about my mom and dad?
The princess is right.
157
00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:39,401
They could still be alive.
158
00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:41,529
Shouldn't we be making
every effort to find them
159
00:06:41,527 --> 00:06:43,737
before we do something so drastic?
160
00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:46,447
I once saw the king
lose a fight to a chaise lounge
161
00:06:46,448 --> 00:06:48,948
that was, quote, "making fun of him."
162
00:06:48,951 --> 00:06:50,911
There's no chance they're alive!
163
00:06:50,911 --> 00:06:53,001
Blowing the dam solves the problem.
164
00:06:52,996 --> 00:06:55,416
Well, it doesn't solve my problem.
165
00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:57,325
With Mom and Dad gone, I'm in charge,
166
00:06:57,334 --> 00:07:00,214
so I command you pussies
to go down there and find them!
167
00:07:00,212 --> 00:07:03,472
Your Highness, you're not old enough
or hot enough to tell us what to do.
168
00:07:03,465 --> 00:07:06,045
The military's in charge
until a regent is named.
169
00:07:06,051 --> 00:07:08,641
[gasps] Then I'm going
down there myself!
170
00:07:08,637 --> 00:07:10,467
And I hope I get killed,
171
00:07:10,472 --> 00:07:13,392
so everyone knows that my shitty
knights wouldn't go with me.
172
00:07:13,392 --> 00:07:15,192
Your Highness, don't be foolish.
173
00:07:15,185 --> 00:07:18,055
She's not being foolish.
STYLES: Huh?
174
00:07:18,063 --> 00:07:21,323
This is the worst crisis
to ever hit our kingdom,
175
00:07:21,316 --> 00:07:24,946
and I keep waiting for you to act like
the knights I grew up reading about.
176
00:07:24,945 --> 00:07:26,855
[sighs] Storybook bullshit!
177
00:07:27,364 --> 00:07:29,664
Is there not one hero among you?
178
00:07:29,658 --> 00:07:31,578
Would you shut up about heroes?!
179
00:07:31,577 --> 00:07:33,577
Look at my fucking face!
180
00:07:35,664 --> 00:07:37,884
Know what? I stole those gems.
181
00:07:37,875 --> 00:07:39,705
I started us down this path.
182
00:07:39,710 --> 00:07:41,500
I've gotta go down there.
183
00:07:41,503 --> 00:07:43,883
I just never thought it'd be a question
184
00:07:43,881 --> 00:07:46,841
whether the realm's sworn
protectors went with me.
185
00:07:46,842 --> 00:07:49,182
Alright, Patrick,
enough preachypreachy.
186
00:07:49,178 --> 00:07:50,968
You wanna go down into the jaws of Hell?
187
00:07:50,971 --> 00:07:53,431
I'll give you one hour
before I blow the dam.
188
00:07:54,725 --> 00:07:55,765
Fair?
189
00:07:56,268 --> 00:08:00,108
I'll take it. I wish I had you
by my side, but I'll take it.
190
00:08:04,776 --> 00:08:06,896
You in?
Hell yeah. Dying underground,
191
00:08:06,904 --> 00:08:08,414
eaten by backyard pests?
192
00:08:08,405 --> 00:08:10,235
That's the hero's death I've been craving.
193
00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:11,410
[clang]
194
00:08:11,408 --> 00:08:13,078
Thanks, Patrick.
195
00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:15,664
Not so fast, Princess.
196
00:08:15,662 --> 00:08:19,252
You're not allowed anywhere without
an escort knight. Rules are rules.
197
00:08:19,249 --> 00:08:20,999
Fine. Give me one of yours.
198
00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:22,341
Absolutely not.
199
00:08:22,878 --> 00:08:24,708
Oh yeah? If I need a knight so bad,
200
00:08:24,713 --> 00:08:26,763
maybe I'll fucking make one!
201
00:08:27,966 --> 00:08:31,386
Wait. Wait, wait, wait.
Is this really happening?
202
00:08:31,386 --> 00:08:34,806
♪
203
00:08:34,806 --> 00:08:37,176
♪ angelic singing ♪
204
00:08:38,936 --> 00:08:41,016
Ah...
205
00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:43,401
Boop, boop, you're a knight.
Okay, let's go, Sir Patrick.
206
00:08:43,398 --> 00:08:44,778
[echoing]:
Sir Patrick... Sir Patrick...
207
00:08:44,775 --> 00:08:47,685
So, I'm a knight now...
208
00:08:47,694 --> 00:08:49,954
This is such an honor
209
00:08:49,947 --> 00:08:51,907
Boop, boop. You're a knight, too.
Wait, what?
210
00:08:51,907 --> 00:08:54,367
[laughs] Wow! I mean, about time, huh?
211
00:08:54,368 --> 00:08:56,448
There's so many people
I wanna thank. Uh...
212
00:08:56,453 --> 00:08:58,503
Boop, boop! I'm a knight! Come on!
213
00:08:59,915 --> 00:09:01,705
Great, fine, whatever.
214
00:09:01,708 --> 00:09:05,378
Hope you make it back to the surface
before we start the Drownening.
215
00:09:05,379 --> 00:09:07,259
Good luck, Sir Patrick.
216
00:09:07,256 --> 00:09:10,256
[laughter]
217
00:09:11,385 --> 00:09:13,885
Aw, I hope we don't miss the Drownening.
218
00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:16,177
[footsteps]
219
00:09:16,181 --> 00:09:17,721
♪
220
00:09:17,724 --> 00:09:20,854
[whispers]: Okay, so here's the plan.
We're gonna avoid the moles,
221
00:09:20,853 --> 00:09:22,733
find the king and queen, and get out.
222
00:09:22,729 --> 00:09:25,979
Watch for my signal, and be very quiet.
223
00:09:25,983 --> 00:09:28,323
Broth, wanna have a screaming contest?
Yes.
224
00:09:28,318 --> 00:09:31,028
[echoing]: No!
[crumbling]
225
00:09:33,282 --> 00:09:35,622
Jeez, Patrick! Reckless!
226
00:09:35,617 --> 00:09:37,577
[rumbling]
I hear something!
227
00:09:37,578 --> 00:09:39,708
It's probably something good and not bad.
228
00:09:39,705 --> 00:09:41,745
[rumbling gets louder]
229
00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:43,958
[smash, whirring]
[all screaming]
230
00:09:43,959 --> 00:09:46,419
[popping, hissing]
231
00:09:48,213 --> 00:09:50,383
[all panting]
232
00:09:50,382 --> 00:09:52,092
[snarling]
233
00:09:52,092 --> 00:09:55,262
[gasping]
234
00:09:55,262 --> 00:09:56,352
PATRICK:
There!
235
00:09:56,346 --> 00:09:59,266
[mole person yelling]
[grunting]
236
00:09:59,266 --> 00:10:02,136
♪
237
00:10:02,144 --> 00:10:03,154
Yah!
238
00:10:03,145 --> 00:10:05,145
[cheering]
239
00:10:06,565 --> 00:10:09,025
Oh...
240
00:10:11,320 --> 00:10:14,200
[screaming, laughing]
241
00:10:14,198 --> 00:10:15,698
♪
242
00:10:17,910 --> 00:10:19,240
[growling, snarling]
243
00:10:20,412 --> 00:10:22,462
[snarling]
244
00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:29,461
♪
245
00:10:31,131 --> 00:10:32,721
Huh?
Okay...
246
00:10:37,763 --> 00:10:39,063
[cheering]
247
00:10:39,056 --> 00:10:40,766
[clang, splat]
248
00:10:40,766 --> 00:10:43,636
[screaming]
249
00:10:43,644 --> 00:10:45,654
[Patrick groaning]
250
00:10:47,314 --> 00:10:49,944
[hissing]
251
00:10:49,942 --> 00:10:52,032
Patrick, I think we can take 'em.
252
00:10:52,027 --> 00:10:55,027
[hissing]
253
00:10:55,030 --> 00:10:56,370
♪
254
00:10:57,407 --> 00:11:00,697
You know what? I did the math wrong.
We absolutely cannot take them.
255
00:11:04,623 --> 00:11:06,463
♪
256
00:11:06,458 --> 00:11:08,458
Show yourselves at once!
257
00:11:08,460 --> 00:11:11,840
[hissing]
Oor at a time and place of your choosing.
258
00:11:11,839 --> 00:11:13,719
The important thing is
that you feel comfortable.
259
00:11:13,715 --> 00:11:15,215
[zap]
260
00:11:15,217 --> 00:11:18,217
[whirring, sloshing]
261
00:11:18,220 --> 00:11:21,220
♪
262
00:11:22,307 --> 00:11:25,347
[gem humming]
263
00:11:27,938 --> 00:11:29,648
[whirring]
264
00:11:31,859 --> 00:11:33,529
[clanking]
Oh...
265
00:11:33,527 --> 00:11:34,947
My...
266
00:11:35,654 --> 00:11:36,864
God!
267
00:11:39,324 --> 00:11:42,794
Oh, you are so cute!
268
00:11:42,786 --> 00:11:46,286
[chirping, squeaking]
Aw, who's a little pumpkin pie?
269
00:11:46,290 --> 00:11:49,380
You are. Your new name is Blossom Junior.
270
00:11:49,376 --> 00:11:52,126
Yes, it is.
They could still be dangerous.
271
00:11:52,129 --> 00:11:53,759
[chirping, squeaking continues]
272
00:11:53,755 --> 00:11:55,715
Should we hack these babies
to death as a power move?
273
00:11:55,716 --> 00:11:59,386
Say the word, Patrick.
[sighs] There are so many.
274
00:11:59,386 --> 00:12:01,426
Who knows how long they've been down here,
275
00:12:01,430 --> 00:12:04,520
and they only attacked us
after we drilled into their habitat.
276
00:12:04,516 --> 00:12:06,596
Like the capitalist pigs we are.
277
00:12:07,394 --> 00:12:08,904
What if they're peaceful?
278
00:12:08,896 --> 00:12:12,186
If only there was a way to talk to them.
279
00:12:12,191 --> 00:12:13,691
♪
280
00:12:16,695 --> 00:12:19,485
I. Am. Patrick.
281
00:12:21,783 --> 00:12:23,293
♪
282
00:12:23,285 --> 00:12:26,535
[squawking]
283
00:12:26,538 --> 00:12:28,418
Hm. Human and mole.
284
00:12:28,415 --> 00:12:30,165
Belching in harmony.
No.
285
00:12:30,167 --> 00:12:33,457
I think it means there's
a way for us to communicate.
286
00:12:35,464 --> 00:12:38,094
[humming]
287
00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:40,721
♪ operatic singing ♪
288
00:12:40,719 --> 00:12:44,099
Could this gem transmit knowledge
of the mole language
289
00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:45,967
directly into my brain?
290
00:12:45,974 --> 00:12:49,564
Is this science so far beyond
our human understanding
291
00:12:49,561 --> 00:12:52,401
that it seems to us not unlike magic?
292
00:12:54,233 --> 00:12:55,233
Ah!
293
00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:57,526
[groans]
294
00:12:58,570 --> 00:13:01,200
♪
295
00:13:01,198 --> 00:13:02,318
What the...
296
00:13:02,324 --> 00:13:04,284
[moles chirping]
297
00:13:04,743 --> 00:13:06,123
Oh!
298
00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:08,039
[squeaking]
299
00:13:10,082 --> 00:13:13,592
[squawking]
300
00:13:13,585 --> 00:13:16,165
What is that, French?
Make the switch to English.
301
00:13:16,171 --> 00:13:18,221
It's the future, baby. No accent marks,
302
00:13:18,215 --> 00:13:20,295
and we pull spellings
right out of our ass.
303
00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:23,300
In the army, guess how we spell
"colonel." Just fuckin' try.
304
00:13:23,762 --> 00:13:24,762
[groans]
305
00:13:25,597 --> 00:13:29,227
[angry squawking]
306
00:13:29,226 --> 00:13:32,306
Oh, I see what this is about.
307
00:13:32,312 --> 00:13:34,652
Fine, fine. Yeah,
I'll sign up for the timeshare.
308
00:13:34,648 --> 00:13:37,478
Jesus Crumb.
Who do I have to finger bang
309
00:13:37,484 --> 00:13:39,654
to cut a deal around here?
I have no allegiances,
310
00:13:39,653 --> 00:13:41,153
and am willing to flip sides,
311
00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:42,784
both legally and sexually.
312
00:13:42,781 --> 00:13:43,871
[banging]
313
00:13:45,534 --> 00:13:46,834
BLOSSOM [echoing]:
Patrick?
314
00:13:46,827 --> 00:13:48,827
♪
315
00:13:48,829 --> 00:13:50,329
Patrick.
316
00:13:50,330 --> 00:13:51,420
[Patrick groaning]
317
00:13:51,415 --> 00:13:54,875
Patrick, my name is Todd. I'm kinda
the public relations guy down here.
318
00:13:54,877 --> 00:13:57,667
Let me help you up.
Thanks, Todd.
319
00:13:57,671 --> 00:14:00,221
Um, who's Todd?
320
00:14:00,215 --> 00:14:02,545
Wait! Todd, I can understand you!
321
00:14:03,719 --> 00:14:06,509
[squawking]
322
00:14:06,513 --> 00:14:08,183
[imitates squawking]
323
00:14:08,182 --> 00:14:10,352
Ho, ho!
324
00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:12,480
They broke Patrick!
325
00:14:12,477 --> 00:14:14,347
The blow to the head
affected your hearing.
326
00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:18,034
Now, our highpitched voices
resonate at a tolerable human frequency.
327
00:14:18,025 --> 00:14:19,855
Ah!
Side effects may include
328
00:14:19,860 --> 00:14:21,990
fucking up your balance.
329
00:14:21,987 --> 00:14:23,947
[sighs] We still have time.
330
00:14:24,615 --> 00:14:25,775
Pull!
331
00:14:26,533 --> 00:14:29,453
KNIGHTS: Aw.
Looks like time's up!
332
00:14:29,453 --> 00:14:32,333
[cheering]
That felt like an hour, right?
333
00:14:32,331 --> 00:14:35,211
Oh, screw it. It's sand falling
through a hole, how accurate can it be?
334
00:14:35,792 --> 00:14:39,132
For centuries, we tolerated you
surface people throwing trash
335
00:14:39,129 --> 00:14:41,549
and the occasional murder
victim down into the big pit.
336
00:14:41,548 --> 00:14:43,968
You mean the bottomless pit?
It's not bottomless?
337
00:14:43,967 --> 00:14:46,297
Of course it's not bottomless!
We live on a globe!
338
00:14:46,303 --> 00:14:49,013
How do you fall forever into
a globe and not hit something?
339
00:14:49,014 --> 00:14:52,144
Never mind that. When you started
invading our sovereign territory
340
00:14:52,142 --> 00:14:54,272
to steal those gems, we had to act.
341
00:14:54,269 --> 00:14:56,979
We sunk several of your surface
monuments as warnings.
342
00:14:56,980 --> 00:14:59,110
Several monuments? Which ones?
343
00:14:59,107 --> 00:15:01,317
Let's see. A large pyramid,
344
00:15:01,318 --> 00:15:03,898
a castle woven entirely from hemp,
345
00:15:03,904 --> 00:15:06,034
and a wholesale mattress warehouse.
346
00:15:06,031 --> 00:15:08,451
King Rami, King Topher, Tony Saltine?
347
00:15:08,450 --> 00:15:09,950
Oh, that's gonna be trouble.
348
00:15:09,952 --> 00:15:12,912
We even sent one final warning
with your boy made out of stone.
349
00:15:12,913 --> 00:15:16,173
Barry! That's why he had
all that writing on him!
350
00:15:16,166 --> 00:15:17,786
And so, we had no choice.
351
00:15:17,793 --> 00:15:20,343
Your rulers are on trial for
their crimes against our kingdom.
352
00:15:20,337 --> 00:15:22,007
But none of this happened on purpose!
353
00:15:22,005 --> 00:15:24,005
It was just a bunch of dumb decisions
354
00:15:24,007 --> 00:15:26,087
that kept piling up on top of one another.
355
00:15:26,093 --> 00:15:28,553
Yeah. That's generally
how history works.
356
00:15:28,554 --> 00:15:31,564
♪
357
00:15:32,933 --> 00:15:33,813
[click]
358
00:15:35,352 --> 00:15:37,522
[cheering]
359
00:15:37,521 --> 00:15:40,151
And that's how you get the word "gunt."
360
00:15:40,148 --> 00:15:41,568
Try doing that in French.
361
00:15:41,567 --> 00:15:43,107
Wait!
Oh, thank God!
362
00:15:43,110 --> 00:15:45,150
My garlic knots are finally here.
363
00:15:45,153 --> 00:15:46,993
Mama! Daddy!
364
00:15:46,989 --> 00:15:49,199
They're alive!
Aw,
365
00:15:49,199 --> 00:15:52,159
no more King Blossom?
Yeah. It's like a good thing happened,
366
00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:54,200
but also a bad thing happened.
367
00:15:54,204 --> 00:15:55,834
What's that called?
Bittersweet.
368
00:15:55,831 --> 00:15:57,751
[tasting] It tastes like shit.
369
00:15:59,251 --> 00:16:01,301
Who are you?
I'm Patrick.
370
00:16:01,295 --> 00:16:03,915
I call myself as a witness
for the defense.
371
00:16:03,922 --> 00:16:05,592
Hm, most unusual,
372
00:16:05,591 --> 00:16:08,341
but this is my year of yes. I'll allow it.
373
00:16:08,343 --> 00:16:11,223
Ooh! This is gonna be good.
Just in time for their execution!
374
00:16:11,221 --> 00:16:13,311
Can anybody else not see anything?
375
00:16:13,307 --> 00:16:15,057
Ruben? Blarney? Coral?!
376
00:16:15,058 --> 00:16:16,688
Kevin? Bee Guy? Holden?
377
00:16:16,685 --> 00:16:19,145
Uh, that's Esteemed Jury Members to you.
378
00:16:19,146 --> 00:16:21,016
Say what you will
about these little shits,
379
00:16:21,023 --> 00:16:23,533
but they take
"jury of your peers" seriously.
380
00:16:23,525 --> 00:16:25,815
Hey, Patrick,
did they give you a program?
381
00:16:25,819 --> 00:16:29,109
I can't understand this play,
like, at all.
382
00:16:29,114 --> 00:16:32,704
Patrick, these furries are gonna
try and sell you a timeshare.
383
00:16:32,701 --> 00:16:35,161
Stay frosty. They're absolute pros.
384
00:16:43,462 --> 00:16:46,172
[inhales, exhales]
385
00:16:46,173 --> 00:16:48,303
Your Honor, my whole life,
386
00:16:48,300 --> 00:16:50,340
I've dreamed of being a knight.
387
00:16:50,344 --> 00:16:53,264
[unintelligible squawking]
388
00:16:53,263 --> 00:16:55,103
Ah! The boy knows French.
389
00:16:55,098 --> 00:16:58,478
Ha! Who says our public schools
are the worst rated in the land?
390
00:16:58,477 --> 00:17:00,347
The PTA.
391
00:17:00,354 --> 00:17:02,234
Anyway, today, that dream
392
00:17:02,231 --> 00:17:04,651
finally came true. I was knighted.
393
00:17:04,650 --> 00:17:07,030
Objection. Relevance, Your Honor?
394
00:17:07,027 --> 00:17:09,147
I'm getting to it. You see,
395
00:17:09,154 --> 00:17:11,244
I always thought it'd be so easy
396
00:17:11,240 --> 00:17:13,530
to know the difference
between right and wrong.
397
00:17:13,534 --> 00:17:15,704
But ever since I became a squire,
398
00:17:15,702 --> 00:17:18,832
every day is like choosing
between a shit sandwich
399
00:17:18,830 --> 00:17:20,710
and a shit sandwich with cheese.
400
00:17:20,707 --> 00:17:23,167
Objection, Your Honor! Nasty!
401
00:17:23,168 --> 00:17:26,588
[sighs] I stole the gems, Your Honor.
402
00:17:26,588 --> 00:17:27,838
[gasping]
403
00:17:27,840 --> 00:17:31,180
I stole them, and I told
the king where to dig up more.
404
00:17:31,176 --> 00:17:33,046
I thought I did it for the right reasons,
405
00:17:33,053 --> 00:17:36,643
but it was only to keep my face
from getting eaten off by rats.
406
00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:38,180
I knew it was wrong,
407
00:17:38,183 --> 00:17:40,983
but I was looking out
for my own interests.
408
00:17:40,978 --> 00:17:42,728
♪
409
00:17:42,729 --> 00:17:45,069
Please let the king and queen go.
410
00:17:45,065 --> 00:17:47,855
I'm the one who knew what I did was wrong.
411
00:17:47,860 --> 00:17:50,700
Please, I want to balance the scales.
412
00:17:50,696 --> 00:17:53,486
Just once, I wanna do the right thing.
413
00:17:54,783 --> 00:17:58,623
Some say mole justice moves too swiftly,
414
00:17:58,620 --> 00:17:59,910
but I say...
415
00:18:00,998 --> 00:18:03,498
Patrick is guilty.
Merriman and Tulip are free to go.
416
00:18:03,500 --> 00:18:05,960
Patrick took the fall! Damn it.
417
00:18:05,961 --> 00:18:08,511
I guess witness protection
is off the table. Ugh!
418
00:18:08,505 --> 00:18:11,625
[struggling]: Broth, Princess!
Get everyone to the surface,
419
00:18:11,633 --> 00:18:14,603
and stop the knights from blowing the dam!
Not without
420
00:18:14,595 --> 00:18:17,675
my best bro!
No. I want to stay.
421
00:18:17,681 --> 00:18:19,561
I want to own up to my mistakes.
422
00:18:19,558 --> 00:18:21,638
Okay, I couldn't
understand a word you said,
423
00:18:21,643 --> 00:18:24,653
but you sacrificed yourself
for my parents, didn't you?
424
00:18:24,646 --> 00:18:26,186
No. I
That makes you
425
00:18:26,190 --> 00:18:28,190
the best knight I ever knighted.
426
00:18:28,192 --> 00:18:30,192
♪
427
00:18:31,904 --> 00:18:35,324
Now then, let's get to sentencing.
428
00:18:35,866 --> 00:18:39,156
Eh, it's your first offense, I'm thinking
community service, 20 hours should do it.
429
00:18:39,161 --> 00:18:40,451
What?
430
00:18:40,454 --> 00:18:42,124
[rumbling]
Oh no.
431
00:18:42,122 --> 00:18:45,132
They broke their promise,
those fucking knights!
432
00:18:45,125 --> 00:18:48,205
It's a flood!
Everyone's gotta get out of here now!
433
00:18:48,212 --> 00:18:50,632
[overlapping screaming]
434
00:18:50,631 --> 00:18:53,091
Which way is up? We need to go up!
435
00:18:53,091 --> 00:18:56,051
MERRIMAN: Patrick!
[panting]
436
00:18:56,845 --> 00:18:57,885
Todd?
Pull this lever
437
00:18:57,888 --> 00:18:59,518
to go back to the surface, Patrick.
438
00:18:59,515 --> 00:19:02,135
Todd, wait! Come with us!
Oh, I'm a public relations man,
439
00:19:02,142 --> 00:19:05,442
Patrick. My skills will be
needed down here,
440
00:19:05,437 --> 00:19:07,557
now more than ever.
[water flowing]
441
00:19:07,564 --> 00:19:09,404
Wait! It's a flood!
Ah!
442
00:19:09,399 --> 00:19:11,239
My skills are useless!
[slam]
443
00:19:11,235 --> 00:19:13,355
Ah!
[moles screaming]
444
00:19:13,362 --> 00:19:14,912
[gurgling]
445
00:19:14,905 --> 00:19:17,905
♪ elevator music ♪
446
00:19:18,534 --> 00:19:21,204
This is my first elevator ride!
447
00:19:23,830 --> 00:19:25,920
♪
448
00:19:25,916 --> 00:19:27,416
[splashing]
Ah!
449
00:19:31,713 --> 00:19:32,713
[splat]
450
00:19:34,383 --> 00:19:35,843
[bagpipelike groaning]
451
00:19:35,843 --> 00:19:37,473
Yep. This one's definitely dead.
452
00:19:37,469 --> 00:19:39,849
You couldn't even give me one hour?!
453
00:19:39,847 --> 00:19:42,677
You turned an easy diplomatic solution
454
00:19:42,683 --> 00:19:45,643
into a slaughter out of sheer laziness!
455
00:19:45,644 --> 00:19:47,904
Is that what being a knight means to you?
456
00:19:47,896 --> 00:19:51,646
Being a knight means killing first
and not thinking about it later.
457
00:19:51,650 --> 00:19:55,070
And if you throw an hourglass
at my head again,
458
00:19:55,070 --> 00:19:56,910
we're gonna have a problem, Sir Patrick.
459
00:19:56,905 --> 00:19:59,155
Did you just call him Sir Patrick?
460
00:19:59,157 --> 00:20:00,737
I knighted him, Daddy.
461
00:20:00,742 --> 00:20:02,792
[laughs] You can't knight people.
462
00:20:02,786 --> 00:20:05,406
That's ridiculous!
Stop undercutting me
463
00:20:05,414 --> 00:20:07,174
in front of the fucking help!
464
00:20:07,165 --> 00:20:10,245
Come on, Sir Styles,
let's go dig up that brothel.
465
00:20:10,252 --> 00:20:13,212
I have glass in my face!
466
00:20:13,213 --> 00:20:14,923
Pull it together.
467
00:20:14,923 --> 00:20:16,803
So after all that,
I'm not even a knight?
468
00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:18,930
[scoffs] You know what?
That's fucking perfect
469
00:20:18,927 --> 00:20:21,757
because I am done!
I've had enough of this insane
470
00:20:21,763 --> 00:20:24,143
Boop, boop, you're a knight.
Happy, sweetie?
471
00:20:24,141 --> 00:20:26,691
No! I don't wanna be a knight!
472
00:20:26,685 --> 00:20:29,895
I quit! I resign! I'm out!
473
00:20:29,897 --> 00:20:33,187
You can't quit being a knight.
The only way out is death.
474
00:20:33,192 --> 00:20:35,322
But that's not for a long time.
475
00:20:35,319 --> 00:20:38,909
An adult male in this day and age
will live well into his late 20s.
476
00:20:38,906 --> 00:20:41,066
[battle horn]
477
00:20:41,074 --> 00:20:43,584
Nobody panic.
That could be the pizza guy.
478
00:20:44,703 --> 00:20:47,713
♪
479
00:20:47,706 --> 00:20:50,286
[armies yelling]
480
00:20:52,753 --> 00:20:55,593
Well, one of those guys
has gotta be the pizza guy.
481
00:20:55,589 --> 00:20:57,089
There's, like, a million of them.
482
00:20:57,090 --> 00:21:00,090
[yelling]
[rumbling]
483
00:21:01,720 --> 00:21:04,010
If they're here to help us
fight the mole people,
484
00:21:04,014 --> 00:21:05,774
they're gonna feel pretty stupid.
485
00:21:05,766 --> 00:21:08,886
No, sire.
The mole people sank their castles
486
00:21:08,894 --> 00:21:11,154
because they couldn't tell
us surface people apart.
487
00:21:11,146 --> 00:21:13,686
BOTH: Racist.
That makes me the hero
488
00:21:13,690 --> 00:21:15,150
who defeated the mole people.
489
00:21:15,150 --> 00:21:17,650
That makes us the kingdom that got rich
490
00:21:17,653 --> 00:21:20,363
while the mole people were
sinking the wrong people's shit.
491
00:21:20,364 --> 00:21:21,954
Not a great spin.
492
00:21:21,949 --> 00:21:24,369
King Rami's been looking
for an excuse to invade.
493
00:21:24,368 --> 00:21:28,328
Now, he has the other kings
on his side. We're fucked.
494
00:21:28,330 --> 00:21:30,790
We? I think you mean you.
495
00:21:30,791 --> 00:21:34,341
Kings don't fight wars. Knights do.
Go get 'em, Sir Patrick.
496
00:21:36,088 --> 00:21:37,838
Pizza for King Merriman.
497
00:21:37,840 --> 00:21:39,630
Bless the baby Jesus!
498
00:21:39,633 --> 00:21:41,843
I don't see any garlic knots.
499
00:21:41,844 --> 00:21:43,724
Sorry. Rain check on the knots.
500
00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:46,220
Our knot guy's out with a rash.
501
00:21:46,223 --> 00:21:49,643
Unacceptable!
Merriman, punish her at once.
502
00:21:49,643 --> 00:21:51,193
[groans] Fine.
503
00:21:53,188 --> 00:21:54,858
Boop, boop, you're a knight. Mm!
504
00:21:54,857 --> 00:21:57,317
Aw, man. I'm a knight now?
505
00:21:57,317 --> 00:22:00,107
I was so close to making manager.
506
00:22:00,112 --> 00:22:03,662
Well, good luck down there,
Sir... Kylie.
507
00:22:03,657 --> 00:22:06,537
[army chattering]
Goddammit.
508
00:22:06,535 --> 00:22:09,535
♪
509
00:22:09,538 --> 00:22:11,958
[armies shouting]
510
00:22:15,210 --> 00:22:16,300
♪ surf rock music ♪
511
00:22:16,295 --> 00:22:18,505
♪ It was a Hallowtide Eve ♪
512
00:22:19,423 --> 00:22:21,933
♪ Full of lightning and thunder ♪
513
00:22:22,843 --> 00:22:24,763
♪ My good friend Steve ♪
514
00:22:25,512 --> 00:22:27,852
♪ Said, "There's monsters down under" ♪
515
00:22:29,266 --> 00:22:32,386
♪ Monsters underground,it's a brand new sound ♪
516
00:22:32,394 --> 00:22:36,234
♪ Monsters underground,these moves will astound ♪
517
00:22:36,231 --> 00:22:39,231
♪
518
00:22:48,243 --> 00:22:51,213
[8bit noises]
519
00:22:51,205 --> 00:22:53,075
CHILD:
That was amazing.
520
00:22:53,081 --> 00:22:55,081
[paper crinkling, monkey ooking, slap]
521
00:22:55,131 --> 00:22:59,681
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