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1
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♪
2
00:00:04,838 --> 00:00:06,718
MERRIMAN:
You show up, you make shoes,
3
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you go home.
4
00:00:07,925 --> 00:00:09,545
Why would a cobbler shop
5
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need a human resources department?
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[laughs] You'd be surprised.
7
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[couple whispering]
Now, Artie,
8
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it was your idea to use phoenix leather
9
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for the new line of RKG55s.
10
00:00:21,688 --> 00:00:23,018
Can you tell us why?
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Because phoenix leather
is sturdy, longlasting, lowcost,
12
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and a phoenix killed my father.
13
00:00:28,654 --> 00:00:31,954
Right. And the downside
of using phoenix leather?
14
00:00:31,949 --> 00:00:33,779
It bursts into flames?
15
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[drum rattling]
That's right, best friend Tim!
16
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Let's do some roleplaying. Tim, Fran,
17
00:00:38,789 --> 00:00:41,209
get up here and act like
salespeople for once.
18
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[laughs]
19
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And, uh, try not to make out on the way.
20
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I volunteer to play the customer!
Whatever, Dwayne.
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Tim, Fran,
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you've got a customer
whose foot is missing
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because your product blew it off.
24
00:00:52,845 --> 00:00:56,055
Now, how are you going
to keep this customer loyal?
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Give me a free shoe.
26
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Ah!
[glass shatters]
27
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And that's where HR comes in.
28
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♪ medieval theme playing ♪
29
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[sighs]
30
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Do I really have to wear this?
31
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I'm just following orders.
[slap]
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Ah! From who?
33
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From me!
34
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I told you to bring me Merriman.
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Instead, you murdered my best knight!
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If you're gonna stab me in the back,
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you're gonna look like
a hot little slut doing it.
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Great. We agree that I should die.
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So, rather than make me go
through this songanddance,
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just cut out the middleman
and kill me now.
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[moans] Tell me more
about how you should die,
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you bad boy.
What is wrong with you?
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I'm not sure.
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Oh, you're just such a delicious
piece of ass in that outfit.
45
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Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go
think about you fighting for your life
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while I rub up against a corduroy couch.
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[door slams]
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Ow! [grunting] Ah!
49
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[door slam]
50
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[all growling]
51
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The name's Angry Carl.
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Nice Gstring.
53
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You here to fight,
or are you our entertainment?
54
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I'm just here to die.
55
00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:19,220
Oh god. Well, that took a turn.
56
00:02:19,223 --> 00:02:20,893
Nice bantering with you.
57
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Name' s Nunchuck Johnny.
My Christian name is Nuncharles Jonathan.
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What are you in for?
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I'm Patrick. I killed
Sir Midnight Darkness X.
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[all gasp]
You killed Sir MDX?
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00:02:31,568 --> 00:02:33,648
But, he's supposed to be unkillable.
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You must've used a flaming sword
forged in the fires of a volcano.
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It was a potato peeler.
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You're Patrick the Peeler? Wow!
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It's an honor to meet you.
You might've heard of me, too.
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I'm a slaughtering machine with no peen.
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I like to kill, and I'm a little shrill.
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The name's Clambo.
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[sighs] This spiel always
makes me so uncomfortable.
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Hey, guys! This kid Patrick's
a stonecold knight killer.
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All hail Patrick the Peeler!
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Uh, no, no, no. Listen, I'd rather not
glorify the darkest moment of my life.
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ALL:
Patrick the Peeler!
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00:03:05,811 --> 00:03:09,361
Patrick the Peeler! Patrick the Peeler!
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[Patrick groans]
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♪
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Girls! Cousin Blossom!
I come bearing gifts.
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[excited giggling]
Brand new hats for today's event.
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Oh no, Human Shield!
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Your ugly hat blew away!
81
00:03:24,788 --> 00:03:27,458
Be more careful.
You may join us at the arena
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after you retrieve Human Being's hat.
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♪
84
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[growls]
85
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WOMAN: Mr. Maxwell,
your 1:00 is here for his interview.
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Hello, sir! Here's my resume!
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Hm, I don't see any
cobbling experience here, but hey.
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Yours truly didn't
have any HR experience
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when he started.
90
00:03:47,978 --> 00:03:50,228
So, tell me about yourself, Mister...
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00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:51,900
Flier Guy. I lost my job
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00:03:51,899 --> 00:03:54,479
because the Old King banned printed words.
93
00:03:54,484 --> 00:03:57,284
Sounds like him. What else
is going on in the old kingdom?
94
00:03:57,279 --> 00:03:59,109
How are the queen and princess?
95
00:03:59,114 --> 00:04:01,584
Tulip and, uh, Flossom, was it?
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00:04:01,575 --> 00:04:04,075
Not that I care.
Oh, get this!
97
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Tulip exiled to midrange island resort,
98
00:04:06,997 --> 00:04:09,367
Blossom demoted to ladyinwaiting
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for Princess Danielle!
100
00:04:10,959 --> 00:04:13,089
Sweet Christ. Tulip must hate that.
101
00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:15,506
And Blossom's pet peeve
is poetic comeuppance.
102
00:04:15,506 --> 00:04:17,256
At least they're both safe and sound.
103
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Notnot that I care.
But, front page news
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is that a squire named Patrick the Peeler
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is set to fight in the gladiator pit!
106
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He murdered a knight sent to catch
107
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the rogue King Merriman!
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[gasps] Patrick!
He'll suffer an agonizing death!
109
00:04:31,647 --> 00:04:34,477
Not that I care!
Is this griffin skin?
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[screaming]
[body thuds]
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I need a doctor!
[horse whinnies]
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[crunch]
Ah! A carriage drove over me!
113
00:04:41,323 --> 00:04:43,913
Oh, it's a medical carriage. I'm all good!
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♪
115
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Can my friend join us for lunch?
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Of course, dear. She looks familiar.
117
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What's her name?
118
00:04:53,168 --> 00:04:56,258
Call her Ishmael.
Just kidding. Her name's Tina.
119
00:04:56,255 --> 00:04:59,505
Doreen, it's Queen Tulip
in a pirate hat. Jesus.
120
00:04:59,508 --> 00:05:01,638
You know I have hat blindness, Glenn.
121
00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:04,345
Oh, no need to bow
or bring out the fine china.
122
00:05:04,346 --> 00:05:06,216
Wasn't gonna.
Coral, where's Mark?
123
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Dude owes me 20 bucks.
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[gasps]
125
00:05:08,684 --> 00:05:11,314
Seven serving four. Look out, babe!
126
00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:13,861
Here comes the heat! Ah!
127
00:05:13,856 --> 00:05:16,146
See that shot, Coral the volleyball?
128
00:05:16,149 --> 00:05:18,149
[sloppy kissing]
129
00:05:18,694 --> 00:05:19,994
Meh, who cares?
130
00:05:19,987 --> 00:05:23,567
Yesterday, I juggled
eight candelabras, all lit!
131
00:05:23,574 --> 00:05:25,284
They're probably
gonna promote me.
132
00:05:25,284 --> 00:05:27,454
[object clatters]
Strange. Something usually
133
00:05:27,452 --> 00:05:29,252
stops the bowl from hitting the ground.
134
00:05:29,246 --> 00:05:31,416
Where's Patrick?
Scuttlebutt at work is that
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00:05:31,415 --> 00:05:34,035
he's been sentenced
to fight in the gladiator pit.
136
00:05:34,042 --> 00:05:35,502
Why didn't you say something!?
137
00:05:35,502 --> 00:05:38,632
It's too late! He's probably
walking out to fight right now.
138
00:05:38,630 --> 00:05:41,720
I say we just enjoy our dinner
and then play
139
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a rousing game of
140
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[door slams]
141
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Solitaire.
142
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♪
143
00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:52,059
[crowd cheering]
[swords clanging]
144
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[grunting]
145
00:05:57,649 --> 00:05:58,979
OLD KING:
You there!
146
00:05:58,984 --> 00:06:02,654
I'm bored! Kill each other
in a grisly fashion!
147
00:06:02,654 --> 00:06:04,204
Throw in a slowmotion death or two.
148
00:06:04,198 --> 00:06:06,278
Add some pizazz before I fall asleep.
149
00:06:07,409 --> 00:06:09,289
[crowd cheering]
150
00:06:10,954 --> 00:06:13,464
[Old King snoring]
Oh god,
151
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Patrick's next. Oh...
152
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[crowd cheering]
[carts squeaking]
153
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[splat]
154
00:06:21,590 --> 00:06:24,970
Oh, dear god. [gagging]
155
00:06:24,968 --> 00:06:27,098
Are you not entertained?
156
00:06:27,095 --> 00:06:28,465
These tickets are not cheap,
157
00:06:28,472 --> 00:06:31,432
so it's important to me
that you're entertained!
158
00:06:31,433 --> 00:06:34,313
Sometimes, I just get insecure, you know?
159
00:06:34,311 --> 00:06:36,611
[loud cheering]
160
00:06:36,605 --> 00:06:38,565
Next match is a real doozy.
161
00:06:38,565 --> 00:06:40,315
Six versus one,
162
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but he can certainly hold his own
163
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since he killed the legendary Sir MDX!
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[booing]
165
00:06:45,906 --> 00:06:47,316
[indistinct yelling]
166
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Hell yeah!
That's my friend you're booing!
167
00:06:50,202 --> 00:06:51,912
[booing continues]
168
00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:53,912
♪
169
00:06:56,625 --> 00:06:59,375
♪
170
00:06:59,378 --> 00:07:01,628
[gate unlocking, opening]
171
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Your last meal is here.
172
00:07:04,258 --> 00:07:07,008
Hint, it's my pussy...
173
00:07:07,010 --> 00:07:09,390
Just leave it on that bench,
and I'll pick at it later.
174
00:07:10,681 --> 00:07:13,771
Listen, idiot! You've been noble
to a fault since we met,
175
00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:16,847
and now, that nobility
is going to get you killed
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00:07:16,854 --> 00:07:19,194
if you don't fight.
That's the plan.
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00:07:19,189 --> 00:07:21,439
I killed Sir Midnight Darkness X.
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If I killed a fellow knight,
I deserve to die, too.
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00:07:24,111 --> 00:07:25,901
[Danielle sighs]
180
00:07:25,904 --> 00:07:28,574
Oh Christ. Maybe I do need therapy.
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[crying]
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♪
183
00:07:33,203 --> 00:07:35,463
Oh, fuck it. Go ahead and die.
184
00:07:35,455 --> 00:07:37,455
You'll live on forever in my spank bank.
185
00:07:39,418 --> 00:07:40,958
[sighs]
186
00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:43,131
I actually came here to let you know
187
00:07:43,130 --> 00:07:45,090
that Granddad has something...
188
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awful in store for the finale.
189
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So, better hope you're dead before then.
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♪
191
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[crowd cheering]
Ladies and gents,
192
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please welcome the rest of the gladiators!
193
00:08:03,692 --> 00:08:05,902
[growling, snarling]
[crowd cheering]
194
00:08:07,529 --> 00:08:09,659
[popping]
Ah!
195
00:08:09,656 --> 00:08:11,026
Woo
196
00:08:11,033 --> 00:08:12,033
Hoo!
197
00:08:12,034 --> 00:08:13,954
Give it up for Nunchuck Johnny!
198
00:08:13,952 --> 00:08:15,662
[grunting]
199
00:08:15,662 --> 00:08:17,502
Clambo!
[shrill yell]
200
00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:19,917
The most murderous psycho in the land,
201
00:08:19,917 --> 00:08:21,667
Patrick the Peeler!
202
00:08:21,668 --> 00:08:23,548
Plus miscellaneous gladiators
203
00:08:23,545 --> 00:08:26,215
you don't need to learn the names of.
They will not have merch.
204
00:08:26,215 --> 00:08:28,375
Here, take this.
[clatters]
205
00:08:28,383 --> 00:08:30,093
Don't need any extra baggage.
206
00:08:30,093 --> 00:08:31,553
I'm going straight to Hell.
207
00:08:31,553 --> 00:08:33,853
Whatever you say, weirdo.
208
00:08:33,847 --> 00:08:36,807
♪
209
00:08:36,808 --> 00:08:38,478
[crowd cheering]
210
00:08:38,477 --> 00:08:40,557
Peel those fuckers! Peel 'em!
211
00:08:40,562 --> 00:08:43,822
Now taking bets on how long he'll last
and the way he's going to die.
212
00:08:43,815 --> 00:08:46,395
Two minutes tops.
Skull caved in with a cudgel.
213
00:08:46,401 --> 00:08:48,651
11 seconds. Suicide by cop.
214
00:08:48,654 --> 00:08:51,874
Um, not cool, you guys.
That's our friend Patrick.
215
00:08:51,865 --> 00:08:54,945
Thanks, Commander Highroad.
Didn't know you were allergic to money.
216
00:08:54,952 --> 00:08:57,292
10 minutes, eaten alive.
217
00:08:57,287 --> 00:09:00,167
[crowd cheering]
218
00:09:00,165 --> 00:09:02,535
I won't fight back. Just make it quick.
219
00:09:02,543 --> 00:09:04,503
He's faking it! Don't trust him!
220
00:09:04,503 --> 00:09:07,213
Yeah, he lures you in,
and then he stabs you in the eye.
221
00:09:07,214 --> 00:09:09,884
Oh, Patrick. I can't bear to look!
222
00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:11,183
Kiss each other!
223
00:09:11,176 --> 00:09:12,966
[cheering]
224
00:09:12,970 --> 00:09:15,600
Patrick! Sign my peeler!
225
00:09:18,016 --> 00:09:18,766
[sighs]
226
00:09:18,767 --> 00:09:20,267
[gladiators gasp]
227
00:09:20,269 --> 00:09:23,899
Uh, go get him, Carl.
You go get him, Jonathan.
228
00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:26,017
Ladies first. [grunt]
Fuck off!
229
00:09:26,024 --> 00:09:28,074
[crowd cheering]
[grunt, straining]
230
00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:29,608
[screams]
231
00:09:29,611 --> 00:09:31,821
[struggling]
232
00:09:31,822 --> 00:09:32,872
[scream]
233
00:09:32,865 --> 00:09:36,075
Look! Patrick the Peeler is so powerful,
234
00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:38,696
he killed two people
without even touching them!
235
00:09:38,704 --> 00:09:40,874
No, I didn't!
He's a demon!
236
00:09:40,873 --> 00:09:43,923
He's controlling our minds!
Don't make eye contact!
237
00:09:43,917 --> 00:09:46,957
Everyone, close your eyes and whistle!
238
00:09:46,962 --> 00:09:50,422
[whistling]
239
00:09:51,592 --> 00:09:53,092
[grunts]
[whistling]
240
00:09:53,093 --> 00:09:55,353
[screaming]
241
00:09:55,345 --> 00:09:56,255
Ah!
242
00:09:57,222 --> 00:09:58,222
[gasps]
243
00:09:58,223 --> 00:10:00,233
All my best friends are dead.
244
00:10:01,018 --> 00:10:02,478
[grunts]
245
00:10:02,477 --> 00:10:04,477
[gasps]
246
00:10:05,856 --> 00:10:09,566
Ah! Whose sword do I have to fall on
to get a quick death around here?
247
00:10:10,736 --> 00:10:12,316
[cheering]
248
00:10:12,321 --> 00:10:14,621
You've been peeled, motherfuckers!
249
00:10:14,615 --> 00:10:17,275
That was amazing! Encore!
250
00:10:17,284 --> 00:10:20,334
Everyone, take a bow!
251
00:10:20,329 --> 00:10:21,329
[sighs]
252
00:10:21,330 --> 00:10:23,830
♪
253
00:10:23,832 --> 00:10:25,462
[struggling]
254
00:10:25,459 --> 00:10:27,419
MERRIMAN:
I'll have your fool head on a pike!
255
00:10:27,419 --> 00:10:28,419
Daddy?
256
00:10:28,420 --> 00:10:30,920
[childish noises]
257
00:10:30,923 --> 00:10:33,433
I'll deny you, you punkass bitch!
258
00:10:33,425 --> 00:10:35,425
BLOSSOM [whispers]:
Where the fuck have you been?
259
00:10:35,427 --> 00:10:38,557
Danielle made me get a job
and look Human Shield in the eye.
260
00:10:38,555 --> 00:10:40,265
Oh, Petal, that's terrible.
261
00:10:40,265 --> 00:10:42,225
I'll have Human Shield
drawn and quartered.
262
00:10:42,226 --> 00:10:44,556
No, don't! She's my best friend.
263
00:10:45,437 --> 00:10:46,687
Alright then.
264
00:10:46,688 --> 00:10:48,768
I need to get inside.
265
00:10:48,774 --> 00:10:50,944
This future dead man says
my gate code isn't working.
266
00:10:50,943 --> 00:10:53,783
No, Grandpa changed it.
Now, it's "Vanessa got dat azz,"
267
00:10:53,779 --> 00:10:55,859
and ass is spelled with two Z's.
268
00:10:55,864 --> 00:10:56,874
[gate creaks]
269
00:10:58,116 --> 00:10:59,866
[both groan happily]
270
00:10:59,868 --> 00:11:01,448
Patrick dead?
I don't know.
271
00:11:01,453 --> 00:11:04,213
Danielle wouldn't let me
go to the executionnn
272
00:11:04,206 --> 00:11:07,836
for no reasonnnn!
273
00:11:07,835 --> 00:11:09,585
We have to save him
before it's too late.
274
00:11:09,586 --> 00:11:11,256
To the Merrimanmobile!
275
00:11:11,255 --> 00:11:12,255
♪ Batmanesque music ♪
276
00:11:12,256 --> 00:11:13,796
CROWD:
Peeler!
277
00:11:13,799 --> 00:11:15,259
[horse whinnies]
278
00:11:15,259 --> 00:11:18,099
Okay, everybody out. I'll find parking.
279
00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:20,430
This is dad business.
280
00:11:20,430 --> 00:11:22,930
CROWD:
Peeler! Peeler! Peeler...
281
00:11:22,933 --> 00:11:25,733
And now, for the grand finale!
282
00:11:25,727 --> 00:11:29,147
Our champion, Patrick the Peeler!
283
00:11:29,147 --> 00:11:32,227
[cheering continues]
284
00:11:32,234 --> 00:11:33,444
[laughing]: Wow!
285
00:11:33,443 --> 00:11:36,533
Patrick's actually doing great.
Look at that little tushy.
286
00:11:36,530 --> 00:11:38,410
He gets that from his mother.
287
00:11:38,407 --> 00:11:40,737
And our mystery challenger,
288
00:11:40,742 --> 00:11:43,832
from the top of
the endangered species list,
289
00:11:43,829 --> 00:11:45,829
a motherfucking dragon!
290
00:11:45,831 --> 00:11:47,171
♪ dramatic music ♪
291
00:11:47,165 --> 00:11:49,535
[stomping]
292
00:11:49,543 --> 00:11:52,383
[rumbling]
[snarl]
293
00:11:52,379 --> 00:11:54,379
[stomping]
294
00:11:56,633 --> 00:11:58,013
[growl]
295
00:11:59,136 --> 00:12:00,966
[loud roar]
296
00:12:00,971 --> 00:12:03,811
[crowd screaming]
297
00:12:03,807 --> 00:12:06,937
Oh boy. That is
a big fucking bird. Fuck!
298
00:12:06,935 --> 00:12:08,935
♪
299
00:12:09,521 --> 00:12:12,071
Oh yeah. This oughta do the trick.
300
00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:12,935
[roar]
301
00:12:15,440 --> 00:12:18,200
CROWD: Peeler! Peeler! Peeler...
[dragon growls]
302
00:12:18,197 --> 00:12:21,197
♪
303
00:12:23,035 --> 00:12:25,745
[crying, sniffs]
304
00:12:25,746 --> 00:12:28,456
I love you, sweetheart! Don't give up!
305
00:12:28,457 --> 00:12:29,877
[chanting continues]
306
00:12:29,875 --> 00:12:31,915
Oh my god, what am I doing?
307
00:12:31,919 --> 00:12:35,299
I can't give up.
I have people who love me.
308
00:12:35,297 --> 00:12:38,507
I won't let my mom
watch me die in a Gstring.
309
00:12:38,509 --> 00:12:39,299
[grunts]
310
00:12:40,052 --> 00:12:41,682
[dragon snarls]
311
00:12:43,555 --> 00:12:44,885
[Patrick screaming]
312
00:12:47,893 --> 00:12:49,193
[snarls]
313
00:12:49,186 --> 00:12:50,556
♪
314
00:12:50,562 --> 00:12:52,192
[screaming, gasps]
315
00:12:52,189 --> 00:12:53,819
[panting]
[stomping]
316
00:12:53,815 --> 00:12:56,435
[growl]
[panting]
317
00:12:56,443 --> 00:12:58,903
[screaming]
318
00:12:59,488 --> 00:13:01,488
[inhales] Mm!
319
00:13:01,490 --> 00:13:04,990
I am delighted and disturbed
by how good that smells.
320
00:13:04,993 --> 00:13:07,753
Blinkerquartz,
give Patrick a fucking teammate!
321
00:13:07,746 --> 00:13:08,786
Mmhmm.
322
00:13:09,540 --> 00:13:11,380
OLD KING: Hm...
[nervous laugh]
323
00:13:11,375 --> 00:13:14,335
I have, um, 50 bucks on Patrick.
324
00:13:14,336 --> 00:13:16,416
Ooh! I want some of that action.
325
00:13:16,421 --> 00:13:19,341
$10 trillion on Hat Trick!
326
00:13:19,341 --> 00:13:20,971
[sizzling]
[snarl]
327
00:13:20,968 --> 00:13:22,888
Uh...
Don't panic, Patrick!
328
00:13:22,886 --> 00:13:24,846
I'm a certified dragon specialist,
329
00:13:24,847 --> 00:13:26,267
and I'm here to help.
330
00:13:26,265 --> 00:13:28,475
[crash, whirring]
331
00:13:30,561 --> 00:13:32,651
[crowd cheering]
Don't panic, Patrick!
332
00:13:32,646 --> 00:13:35,566
We're here to save you!
[roaring]
333
00:13:35,566 --> 00:13:37,816
Oh shit! It's a motherfucking dragon!
334
00:13:37,818 --> 00:13:41,238
[crowd booing]
335
00:13:41,238 --> 00:13:43,658
Wow, Blossom. They really hate you.
336
00:13:43,657 --> 00:13:46,447
CROWD:
Merriman sucks! Merriman sucks!
337
00:13:46,451 --> 00:13:49,581
We're ambivalent about Blossom,
but Merriman sucks!
338
00:13:50,122 --> 00:13:52,792
Merriman?! And Blossom?!
339
00:13:52,791 --> 00:13:56,591
Why does she have that poor person
costume on? In public?
340
00:13:56,587 --> 00:13:57,917
♪
341
00:13:57,921 --> 00:14:01,511
My little crotch fruit returns, eh?
342
00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:04,088
Release the gladiators!
343
00:14:05,220 --> 00:14:06,810
[gladiators yelling]
344
00:14:08,223 --> 00:14:11,643
Say hello to the RKG55!
345
00:14:11,643 --> 00:14:14,353
It's an HR nightmare. [grunts]
346
00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:16,234
[grunting]
347
00:14:16,231 --> 00:14:17,821
[explosions]
348
00:14:19,067 --> 00:14:22,147
[crowd cheering]
I need to get up to the old man!
349
00:14:22,154 --> 00:14:24,074
[grunting]
350
00:14:24,072 --> 00:14:25,572
Where the hell'd you learn that?
351
00:14:25,574 --> 00:14:27,414
Public school.
352
00:14:27,826 --> 00:14:29,786
Ha!
[whistling]
353
00:14:29,786 --> 00:14:31,656
Holy shit!
[screaming]
354
00:14:32,456 --> 00:14:34,166
[screaming]
355
00:14:36,835 --> 00:14:39,505
♪
356
00:14:39,505 --> 00:14:42,125
[both growl]
357
00:14:42,132 --> 00:14:45,052
OLD KING:
You stole my crown, sonny boy.
358
00:14:45,052 --> 00:14:46,722
Come get your spanking.
359
00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:48,890
With pleasure.
360
00:14:48,889 --> 00:14:50,559
That came out weird.
361
00:14:50,557 --> 00:14:52,677
I mean I'm about to hurt you,
362
00:14:52,684 --> 00:14:55,064
and you won't be spanking me.
363
00:14:55,062 --> 00:14:57,402
Oh, this is gonna be epic.
364
00:14:57,814 --> 00:15:00,484
[grunt] Back off!
[grunt] No! You back off!
365
00:15:00,484 --> 00:15:02,114
[grunt] You back up first!
366
00:15:02,110 --> 00:15:04,360
[grunting]
[slapping]
367
00:15:04,363 --> 00:15:05,363
Epic.
368
00:15:05,364 --> 00:15:07,324
♪
369
00:15:07,324 --> 00:15:10,044
[struggling]
370
00:15:10,744 --> 00:15:13,794
[straining, groaning]
371
00:15:13,789 --> 00:15:16,209
Cousin! Come back here!
372
00:15:16,208 --> 00:15:17,578
[snarl]
373
00:15:18,877 --> 00:15:20,127
[whimpers]
374
00:15:20,128 --> 00:15:21,758
[snarling]
375
00:15:21,755 --> 00:15:23,375
Get away from him,
376
00:15:23,382 --> 00:15:25,632
you bitch and/or bastard!
377
00:15:25,634 --> 00:15:26,894
[surprised growl]
378
00:15:26,885 --> 00:15:28,885
Mom! What are you doing?!
379
00:15:28,887 --> 00:15:30,007
♪
380
00:15:30,013 --> 00:15:32,983
Have you all gone insane?!
Get out of here!
381
00:15:32,975 --> 00:15:35,845
Patrick! A mother
always protects her baby.
382
00:15:35,853 --> 00:15:37,563
[echoing]
Her baby... Her baby... Her baby...
383
00:15:37,563 --> 00:15:38,773
[grunts]
384
00:15:38,772 --> 00:15:40,522
[weak shrieking]
385
00:15:40,524 --> 00:15:41,574
[muffled scream]
386
00:15:41,567 --> 00:15:43,567
[thud]
Ah! Whoa!
387
00:15:43,569 --> 00:15:44,859
[panting]
388
00:15:46,321 --> 00:15:47,701
[snarl]
389
00:15:50,075 --> 00:15:53,035
Oh. I knew you looked familiar.
390
00:15:54,162 --> 00:15:56,162
Hey! That's assault!
391
00:15:56,164 --> 00:15:58,294
[wheels rattling]
392
00:15:58,292 --> 00:16:01,132
Have you gone crazy, Patrick?
[sniffing]
393
00:16:01,128 --> 00:16:03,458
Blarney, you're the first thing
he saw when he hatched!
394
00:16:03,463 --> 00:16:05,473
He thinks you're his mom!
395
00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:08,887
[happy growl]
396
00:16:09,720 --> 00:16:11,680
[snarling]
397
00:16:16,476 --> 00:16:19,476
[all screaming]
398
00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:22,069
Aw. Guess I'm missing
something pretty good.
399
00:16:22,065 --> 00:16:24,395
Blarney!
Blarney! And also the other one!
400
00:16:24,401 --> 00:16:26,861
[crying] I'm so sad!
401
00:16:26,862 --> 00:16:28,532
[sobbing, chewing]
402
00:16:28,530 --> 00:16:31,030
[crying] I'm so rich.
403
00:16:31,033 --> 00:16:33,623
[crying] I'm so...
404
00:16:33,619 --> 00:16:34,949
wet?
405
00:16:34,953 --> 00:16:37,123
[screaming getting louder]
406
00:16:37,915 --> 00:16:38,915
[groans]
407
00:16:40,042 --> 00:16:42,542
On the other hand,
all dragons look alike to me.
408
00:16:42,544 --> 00:16:46,224
I've killed us both.
Ah! Well, thanks a lot, Patrick!
409
00:16:46,215 --> 00:16:48,465
I was in the prime of my
410
00:16:48,467 --> 00:16:51,427
Oh, who am I kidding?
I've been dying to pull the ripcord.
411
00:16:51,428 --> 00:16:53,598
[glugging]
412
00:16:53,597 --> 00:16:55,347
[gasps] That's the answer!
413
00:16:55,349 --> 00:16:57,889
You beautiful, disappointing lush!
414
00:16:57,893 --> 00:16:59,853
Hey!
Give me one of your handkerchiefs.
415
00:16:59,853 --> 00:17:02,813
[grunting, mumbling]
416
00:17:02,814 --> 00:17:04,784
Has anyone laughed at this ever?
417
00:17:04,775 --> 00:17:07,065
Not even the smallest child.
418
00:17:07,528 --> 00:17:10,318
I'm gonna blow a hole in this dragon,
and we're home free.
419
00:17:10,322 --> 00:17:11,372
No, you're not!
420
00:17:11,365 --> 00:17:14,615
Wasting booze is party foul
number one, brother!
421
00:17:14,618 --> 00:17:16,698
[both struggling]
This... is...
422
00:17:16,703 --> 00:17:19,543
not... a party!
[both yelling]
423
00:17:19,540 --> 00:17:22,040
[groaning, roar]
424
00:17:22,042 --> 00:17:24,502
♪
425
00:17:24,503 --> 00:17:26,463
[snarl, growl]
426
00:17:26,463 --> 00:17:27,973
[screaming]
Holy shit!
427
00:17:27,965 --> 00:17:29,465
[roar]
428
00:17:30,759 --> 00:17:31,799
What the fuck?
429
00:17:32,386 --> 00:17:34,046
[hiccuping]
430
00:17:34,054 --> 00:17:36,224
[screaming]
431
00:17:36,223 --> 00:17:37,393
[growl]
432
00:17:37,391 --> 00:17:39,391
[groan]
433
00:17:39,893 --> 00:17:41,313
[crowd screaming]
434
00:17:41,311 --> 00:17:43,981
[splattering]
435
00:17:43,981 --> 00:17:46,981
BLARNEY/PATRICK:
Ah! Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot!
436
00:17:47,776 --> 00:17:50,316
[gasping] It worked!
437
00:17:50,320 --> 00:17:52,490
We're alive! Oh.
438
00:17:52,489 --> 00:17:55,949
That's the closest I've ever
come to giving up on my oath.
439
00:17:55,951 --> 00:17:57,791
I will never tempt fate again.
440
00:17:59,288 --> 00:18:00,908
Not your finest hour.
441
00:18:00,914 --> 00:18:02,294
♪
442
00:18:02,291 --> 00:18:03,921
[weak growl]
443
00:18:03,917 --> 00:18:06,087
Are you okay to fly, my friend?
444
00:18:06,086 --> 00:18:08,546
[weak groan]
445
00:18:08,547 --> 00:18:11,677
Yeah, me neither. Come on.
There's a great afterparty at the dump.
446
00:18:12,885 --> 00:18:15,385
[grunting, growl]
447
00:18:17,306 --> 00:18:19,846
[grunting] You're dumb!
[grunting] 'Fraid not.
448
00:18:19,850 --> 00:18:23,190
You are, and Vanessa agrees, right, baby?
449
00:18:23,187 --> 00:18:25,107
♪
450
00:18:25,105 --> 00:18:27,105
Give her back...
Everybody!
451
00:18:27,107 --> 00:18:30,647
Your socalled king thinks
this children's toy is the queen!
452
00:18:30,652 --> 00:18:33,202
Is this the leader you want?
453
00:18:33,197 --> 00:18:34,987
Say goodbye to your girlfriend.
454
00:18:34,990 --> 00:18:36,950
You'll address her as Mother.
455
00:18:36,950 --> 00:18:38,160
[grunts]
456
00:18:38,827 --> 00:18:41,287
[screaming]
457
00:18:41,288 --> 00:18:42,578
♪ dramatic music ♪
458
00:18:42,581 --> 00:18:44,251
No...
459
00:18:44,249 --> 00:18:45,249
[grunts]
460
00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:50,050
Silly me. Guess that
wasn't an exploding one.
461
00:18:50,047 --> 00:18:51,757
[grunting, humming]
462
00:18:53,258 --> 00:18:55,548
Oh, Dad. Jesus...
463
00:18:56,845 --> 00:18:59,515
Your king has wet himself!
464
00:18:59,515 --> 00:19:00,715
You know what to do.
465
00:19:00,724 --> 00:19:03,734
♪
466
00:19:04,728 --> 00:19:08,018
Insolent fools!
Don't you remember?
467
00:19:08,023 --> 00:19:10,733
I pee, you pee! [grunts]
468
00:19:10,734 --> 00:19:12,074
Twelve years ago,
469
00:19:12,069 --> 00:19:15,529
I made a choice that this man
was unfit to lead.
470
00:19:15,531 --> 00:19:17,821
Now, it's your turn to make a choice.
471
00:19:17,824 --> 00:19:20,994
If you disagree with me, you now must pee.
472
00:19:22,204 --> 00:19:25,004
My pants are dry, Your Majesty!
473
00:19:25,457 --> 00:19:28,247
My pants are dry, Your Majesty!
474
00:19:31,088 --> 00:19:33,548
Uhhuh. I spilled beer on my pants,
475
00:19:33,549 --> 00:19:35,129
so it looks like I peed myself,
476
00:19:35,133 --> 00:19:37,973
but I don't want that crazy old king,
Your Majesty!
477
00:19:37,970 --> 00:19:39,640
My pants are dry, Your Majesty.
478
00:19:39,638 --> 00:19:42,638
[overlapping refrain]
479
00:19:45,185 --> 00:19:49,015
I have never been
so proud to be your king.
480
00:19:49,022 --> 00:19:50,982
Or even proud at all!
481
00:19:50,983 --> 00:19:52,653
I won't let you down,
482
00:19:52,651 --> 00:19:54,781
until the next time I let you down.
483
00:19:55,529 --> 00:19:56,909
[grunts] Ow! Ow!
484
00:19:57,322 --> 00:19:58,622
Oh god.
485
00:19:59,449 --> 00:20:00,949
[grunting]
486
00:20:00,951 --> 00:20:03,291
♪
487
00:20:04,246 --> 00:20:06,246
Nice ass, Patrick!
488
00:20:06,874 --> 00:20:07,884
[clang]
489
00:20:07,875 --> 00:20:09,835
[whirring]
490
00:20:10,419 --> 00:20:11,249
[laughs]
491
00:20:11,253 --> 00:20:13,263
♪
492
00:20:15,215 --> 00:20:16,215
[growls]
493
00:20:16,216 --> 00:20:17,586
[gasping]
494
00:20:17,593 --> 00:20:21,393
All hail the rightful ruler,
King Merriman.
495
00:20:21,388 --> 00:20:24,558
ALL:
All hail King Merriman!
496
00:20:24,558 --> 00:20:26,638
Thanks for keeping Crownie safe.
497
00:20:26,643 --> 00:20:28,403
Thanks for coming back to save me.
498
00:20:28,395 --> 00:20:31,185
Ah, I was running errands
in the neighborhood anyhow.
499
00:20:31,190 --> 00:20:34,190
I will never let you down again, sire.
500
00:20:34,193 --> 00:20:35,533
OLD KING:
Kiss each other!
501
00:20:36,486 --> 00:20:37,776
[sighs]
502
00:20:38,488 --> 00:20:40,778
BLOSSOM: It's over for you hoes!
[screaming]
503
00:20:40,782 --> 00:20:42,782
[Blossom cackling]
504
00:20:43,785 --> 00:20:46,535
Danielle's a psycho,
but I'll miss her, Broth.
505
00:20:46,538 --> 00:20:49,538
Wherever she is, I hope she's okay.
506
00:20:50,792 --> 00:20:52,292
I hope she's dead.
507
00:20:56,381 --> 00:20:57,591
[crumbling]
508
00:20:57,591 --> 00:21:00,591
♪
509
00:21:00,594 --> 00:21:02,554
Oh, fuck my life.
510
00:21:02,554 --> 00:21:05,814
A lifetime of planning,
and I was only on the throne for a week.
511
00:21:06,725 --> 00:21:08,265
[crackle]
[brakes squeal]
512
00:21:11,313 --> 00:21:12,813
[hissing]
513
00:21:14,441 --> 00:21:16,571
Oy vey.
514
00:21:17,778 --> 00:21:20,778
♪
515
00:21:50,811 --> 00:21:53,811
[8bit sounds]
516
00:21:53,814 --> 00:21:55,654
CHILD:
That was amazing.
517
00:21:55,649 --> 00:21:57,649
[paper crinkling, monkey ooking, slap]
518
00:21:57,699 --> 00:22:02,249
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