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♪
2
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[squeaking]
3
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[flapping]
4
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Ooh, new flags! Vexillology is my hobby.
5
00:00:08,467 --> 00:00:11,047
Oh, this is bad, Broth. Really bad.
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I'm with you, man.
Asymmetry is so last season.
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And royal blue? Really?
A little on the nose.
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Wait, no. What's happening?
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The Old King hijacked the throne...
[laughs] Jacked it.
10
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...and he's completely nuts!
[laughs] Nuts.
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I'm sorry. I pathologically
can't take things seriously.
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II'm sure everything will be just fine.
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You there! Jews!
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Show your tits or get off my lawn!
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[clothes flapping]
BROTH: Woo!
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Patrick, do what he says,
or we won't get the beads.
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Ah!
[Patrick grunts]
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[sighs]
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♪ medieval theme playing ♪
20
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Fools!
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♪
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Behold, your rightful king!
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[applause, cheering]
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Fuck...
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Why does your exgirlfriend's
grandpa get to be king?
26
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When is it my turn? I wanna be king!
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[sighs] The Old King was always
supposed to be the king,
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but Merriman overthrew him.
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Now, the Old King's back, which is bad.
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That's all you need to know, Broth.
It's bad.
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I am living for this family drama.
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I'm honored to be back on the throne.
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I plan to restore this
kingdom to greatness.
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He seems cool.
Uhhuh. Give it a second.
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And as your ruler,
I'd like to talk about
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the new declarat
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[dripping]
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Ew...
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[crowd gasping, murmuring]
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I hereby declare that if the king
parentheses me
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pees himself, everyone who sees it
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parentheses youmust also pee!
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[murmuring]
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Under penalty of death!
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[gasping]
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And there it is.
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I can't go. I'm pee shy!
Is he gonna kill me?
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The other king never
made me piss my pants!
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I didn't think I'd ever say this,
50
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but this kingdom is in trouble
without Merriman on the throne.
51
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Ah, hell yeah! I love a good
"Patrick saves the day" scheme.
52
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Let's get Merriman back. What's the plan?
There's no plan!
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I'm just a squire!
Regime change is not my department.
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[urinating]
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[sighs] The sound of your
voice is like a waterfall.
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Oh! Yeah. Oh...
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♪
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[groans] From public school to this.
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Kind of a lateral move.
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Oh! A man who appreciates fine cuisine.
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I've always thought that
"ladle" is a sexy word.
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Ladleladleladleladleladleladleladle.
[nervous laugh]
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Mom! What the hell are you doing?
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I'm obviously seducing this guard,
so we can get out of here.
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It won't work, ma'am. All of us assigned
to your watch are eunuchs.
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Oh. Is scissoring off the table?
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Please don't say scissor.
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I noticed your tunic is still dry.
PATRICK: Yyes, sir!
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I, um, don't know how to pee on command...
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Well, if you want to be a knight,
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you need to learn how to do a lot
of useless stuff on command.
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♪ Useless stuff! ♪
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Kings are going to order you
to do a lot of stupid shit.
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As long as you're doing that
stupid shit with your boys,
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it's all worth it.
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The brotherhood.
Sir,
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the brotherhood's all I've ever wanted.
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Good, good to hear.
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Now, piss your pants!
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Ah! Ah. Ah...
[urinating]
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Good man.
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[clears throat]
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As you may know, my grandfather
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has appointed me to be
his top royal advisor.
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Are we having taquitos for dinner?
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Taquitos are my top royal advisor.
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Uh, rright... Which is why
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I wanted to talkito
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about a new policy
that we are working on.
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I'm bored. When do we watch
the sweaty gladiators
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stab each other in the neck?
[laughs]
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Oh, excellent joke, Your Majesty.
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Nno, thethe gladiator fights stopped
long ago for being too barbaric.
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The safety of our subjects
is of the utmost importance.
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Thethe loyal subjects, that is.
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♪ dramatic sting ♪
97
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Pretty sure she wants to kill me.
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So, I have recruited
someone very special.
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00:04:04,578 --> 00:04:07,918
Please welcome my new head of security.
100
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[screaming]
Sir Midnight Darkness X!
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[airhorn blares]
[crowd cheering]
102
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Sixfoottwelve! 450 pounds!
103
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335 confirmed kills!
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Even his two mothers,
one of whom he calls Carol,
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quake in terror at the sound
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of his approaching footsteps.
[stomping, clanking]
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BROTH: Holy shit!
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It's really him!
Fucking legendary!
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♪
110
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Why did you have that?
It's my mom's lucky bra.
111
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She said to only use it
in case of an emergency.
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He will ensure that anyone
who challenges the throne
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will be dealt with accordingly.
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Enough chitchat. New Bungles.
[honking]
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Dance!
[Blarney laughing]
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Blarney? You're working here?
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I'm the new court jester!
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We're coworkers now, dingleberry!
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♪
120
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Patrick, your ex is walking over.
Mmhmm. Yeah. I can see her.
121
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Don't worry. I'll be right here
the whole time. I got your back.
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Fuck off, Broth.
Bye, Patrick!
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Patrick, walk with me.
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Danielle...
Princess Danielle, cretin.
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I should execute you on the spot.
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You ruined years of planning,
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killed my mother, and nearly killed me!
128
00:05:21,738 --> 00:05:24,528
How does it feel knowing I finally won?
129
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Uh, bad?
Well, it makes me horny.
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Something about your
crushed little spirits
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brings my panties to a boil.
132
00:05:31,623 --> 00:05:34,593
So, I won't kill you.
[sighs] That's a relief.
133
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On one condition.
Tell me where Merriman is.
134
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Where's Merriman? [nervous laugh]
135
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Ask me something easier like
where's the wind?
136
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♪ film noir jazz ♪
137
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The man's a ghost.
He's everywhere and nowhere at all.
138
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You could drop in the middle of
the Serengeti, and 48 hours later,
139
00:05:51,059 --> 00:05:52,979
he'd pop up in the middle of your bathtub,
140
00:05:52,978 --> 00:05:54,898
ready to shave your legs.
141
00:05:54,897 --> 00:05:56,397
♪ music ends ♪
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Well, that was... colorful.
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Look, my regime will never
be seen as legitimate
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until Merriman is under my control.
I need him back.
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[awkwardly]:
I don't know... where... he is?
146
00:06:08,452 --> 00:06:12,082
Wow. I should absolutely kill you.
147
00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:15,580
Mm, but then again, the panties thing.
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Hm...
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Maybe a little manual labor
will loosen your tongue.
150
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Report to the soup kitchen
tomorrow for peeling duty.
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[groans]
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♪
153
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[weights clanking, panting]
154
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Your stories are fascinating!
155
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Not at all boring.
156
00:06:33,101 --> 00:06:36,731
Tell me more about this ska band.
Yeah, it was great
157
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before Skanky Hank bailed.
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We were almost signed, man.
[keys jingling]
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You just need to do some visualization.
Close your eyes.
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Ah!
TULIP: Now, imagine signing the contract.
161
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Skanky Hank isn't there.
He just got syphilis.
162
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Are all those zeros for you?
163
00:06:52,621 --> 00:06:54,461
Yes, yes! They are!
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I wouldn't sign that contract yet.
165
00:06:57,292 --> 00:06:59,552
Ow! What the hell?
166
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[sighs] Tulip, you are obviously too
dangerous to keep in this dungeon.
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[fake dismay]:
Oh no, for the love of Christ!
168
00:07:05,008 --> 00:07:07,508
Don't put me in the other dungeon!
169
00:07:07,511 --> 00:07:10,221
Your sex dungeon?
Oh no, that would be impossible.
170
00:07:10,222 --> 00:07:12,722
I'm having it converted into
a children's literacy center.
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[real dismay]:
No! Literate children
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talk back twice as hard! Oh...
173
00:07:17,062 --> 00:07:19,822
You will be exiled to
a midrange island resort.
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00:07:19,815 --> 00:07:23,065
Three and a half out of five stars.
Still under remodel.
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[screaming]
176
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The mediocrity is worse
than if it were just bad!
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00:07:28,031 --> 00:07:29,741
My god, you're so dramatic.
178
00:07:29,741 --> 00:07:31,991
Tropical island? I'll pack my things.
179
00:07:31,994 --> 00:07:34,544
Oh no. [laughs] You're not going.
180
00:07:34,538 --> 00:07:37,458
No, no. I have a much more
suitable punishment for you.
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00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:39,917
Ho, ho! You're gonna kill me?
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Fuck! You! I'll shank you, bitch!
183
00:07:42,504 --> 00:07:44,634
Attica! Attica!
184
00:07:44,631 --> 00:07:46,011
[laughs] Oh no,
185
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I'm not going to kill you.
186
00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:50,641
Some fates are worse than death.
[gate opening]
187
00:07:51,138 --> 00:07:53,098
[struggling]
Oh, Blossom!
188
00:07:53,098 --> 00:07:54,598
♪
189
00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:57,440
[quiet snoring]
190
00:07:58,687 --> 00:07:59,897
[rustling leaves]
191
00:07:59,897 --> 00:08:02,897
♪
192
00:08:06,153 --> 00:08:07,653
[whispered yell] Patrick!
Ah!
193
00:08:07,654 --> 00:08:08,494
♪
194
00:08:12,159 --> 00:08:15,329
[loud whisper]
Patrick, hey. It's the king. Merriman.
195
00:08:15,329 --> 00:08:17,249
We used to work together, remember?
196
00:08:17,247 --> 00:08:18,957
I wore this.
[whispering] What are you doing?
197
00:08:18,957 --> 00:08:21,457
You're the most wanted man in the kingdom!
If anyone sees you here,
198
00:08:21,460 --> 00:08:23,380
we're both dead.
I can't leave until I hear
199
00:08:23,378 --> 00:08:25,208
your "Patrick saves the day" scheme.
200
00:08:25,214 --> 00:08:28,384
Why does everyone think
I have a plan for this?
201
00:08:28,383 --> 00:08:31,973
Don't yell at me.
I don't have anywhere else to go...
202
00:08:31,970 --> 00:08:34,100
I'm sorry. I really am glad you're okay.
203
00:08:34,097 --> 00:08:36,137
Everything's crazy with
your dad in charge.
204
00:08:36,141 --> 00:08:38,481
Yeah! I know!
That's why I overthrew him!
205
00:08:38,477 --> 00:08:41,477
I mean, he made 69
the only legal sexual position!
206
00:08:41,480 --> 00:08:43,480
It's like trying to eat ice cream
while someone else
207
00:08:43,482 --> 00:08:45,072
is shoving ice cream in your butt!
208
00:08:45,067 --> 00:08:48,197
You don't get to enjoy
the ice cream, Patrick!
209
00:08:48,195 --> 00:08:50,815
And I'm starving.
No one will give me food.
210
00:08:50,822 --> 00:08:53,532
You need money to buy food.
No one will give me money, either!
211
00:08:53,534 --> 00:08:55,874
Go get a job, so they'll give you money,
212
00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:58,369
then buy food.
Food will give you energy
213
00:08:58,372 --> 00:09:01,212
to go back to your job to earn
more money to buy more food.
214
00:09:01,208 --> 00:09:03,588
Ah... It's the perfect cycle.
215
00:09:03,585 --> 00:09:06,705
Just make sure to save
some for taxes to give to the king.
216
00:09:06,713 --> 00:09:09,553
What? I work all day to give
my money to some asshole
217
00:09:09,550 --> 00:09:11,800
just because he was born to the right dad?
218
00:09:11,802 --> 00:09:15,352
This cycle is flawed! Do other people
know how fucked up this all is?
219
00:09:15,347 --> 00:09:18,517
Nope. You're the first person
to ever figure it out.
220
00:09:18,517 --> 00:09:19,767
♪
221
00:09:19,768 --> 00:09:21,348
Here's some food and clean clothes.
222
00:09:21,353 --> 00:09:23,563
Follow the river south to
the village by the woods.
223
00:09:23,564 --> 00:09:26,484
We used to vacation there when I was
little. It's a good place to lay low.
224
00:09:26,483 --> 00:09:29,953
Hold onto this for me. You're the only
one I can trust to take care of him.
225
00:09:29,945 --> 00:09:31,695
Him?
Goodbye, Crownie.
226
00:09:31,697 --> 00:09:34,317
[highpitched]
Goodbye, Merriman. I will miss you.
227
00:09:34,324 --> 00:09:35,874
[crying]
228
00:09:35,868 --> 00:09:38,248
[normal] Oh, Crownie. Don't cry.
229
00:09:38,245 --> 00:09:39,495
♪ romantic music ♪
230
00:09:39,496 --> 00:09:43,166
♪ You've always been atop my head ♪
231
00:09:43,166 --> 00:09:46,796
♪ And I'll adore you till I'm dead ♪
232
00:09:46,795 --> 00:09:49,915
[affected voice]
♪ As I sit above the mind ♪
233
00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:53,343
♪ Of a man I find so fine ♪
234
00:09:53,343 --> 00:09:55,643
[duet]
♪ Oh, together we ♪
235
00:09:55,637 --> 00:09:57,597
♪ Will always be ♪
236
00:09:57,598 --> 00:10:01,188
♪ Two of a ♪
237
00:10:01,185 --> 00:10:03,305
♪ Kind... ♪
238
00:10:03,312 --> 00:10:05,812
How did youNever mind. Just go. Now.
239
00:10:05,814 --> 00:10:07,484
You know who they're sending after you?
240
00:10:07,482 --> 00:10:09,442
Sir Midnight Darkness X.
241
00:10:09,443 --> 00:10:11,613
Oh, I'm so scared...
242
00:10:11,612 --> 00:10:13,952
Fuck off, Patrick! I'm built like a tank.
243
00:10:17,618 --> 00:10:19,408
[rustling]
Hm?
244
00:10:19,411 --> 00:10:20,661
Oh!
245
00:10:20,662 --> 00:10:23,372
A hobo took my money.
[Patrick grumbles]
246
00:10:23,874 --> 00:10:26,294
[Glenn laughing]
Patrick!
247
00:10:26,293 --> 00:10:28,633
Hi, hon!
What are you two doing here?
248
00:10:28,629 --> 00:10:31,299
Your mother heard about
a fancy new place in this shitty village.
249
00:10:31,298 --> 00:10:34,008
Turns out, there's a meal
between breakfast and lunch.
250
00:10:34,009 --> 00:10:36,679
It's called blunch, and the champagne
251
00:10:36,678 --> 00:10:38,308
has orange juice in it!
252
00:10:38,305 --> 00:10:40,715
Can you believe it?
All hail the new
253
00:10:40,724 --> 00:10:43,524
slash old king. [grunts]
254
00:10:44,186 --> 00:10:46,226
Nice chat, you two.
Hope you're walking home.
255
00:10:46,230 --> 00:10:47,480
Blunch, blunch, blunch!
256
00:10:47,481 --> 00:10:50,071
♪
257
00:10:50,067 --> 00:10:51,147
[laughs]
258
00:10:53,403 --> 00:10:56,783
[piping]
[mice squeaking]
259
00:10:56,782 --> 00:10:59,332
Hey, little bro! Did you hear
the kingdom instituted
260
00:10:59,326 --> 00:11:01,326
mandatory Taco Tuesday!
261
00:11:01,328 --> 00:11:04,788
I'm making queso!
Come on by! We're hosting!
262
00:11:04,790 --> 00:11:06,500
Wow. Free healthcare,
263
00:11:06,500 --> 00:11:08,460
governmentenforced family fun?
264
00:11:08,460 --> 00:11:10,670
Maybe the Old King has
his shit together after all.
265
00:11:10,671 --> 00:11:11,881
[laughs]
266
00:11:12,214 --> 00:11:15,134
Hi! I'm Patrick.
I'm here for peeling duty.
267
00:11:15,133 --> 00:11:17,433
I'm really excited to
make a difference here.
268
00:11:17,427 --> 00:11:19,927
You know, peeling vegetables
for homeless people is
269
00:11:19,930 --> 00:11:22,470
Vegetables for homeless people?
270
00:11:22,474 --> 00:11:25,024
Nah. You've been assigned
271
00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:27,268
to peel vegetable homeless people.
272
00:11:27,938 --> 00:11:29,018
I'm sorry, what?
273
00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:32,032
The needy gotta eat.
It's the perfect cycle.
274
00:11:32,025 --> 00:11:34,565
You're peeling comatose homeless people
275
00:11:34,570 --> 00:11:36,700
to serve to other homeless people?
276
00:11:36,697 --> 00:11:38,947
It's not that bad.
277
00:11:38,949 --> 00:11:40,739
If you don't think about it.
278
00:11:40,742 --> 00:11:43,792
That doesn't make any sense!
Why would you peel them?!
279
00:11:43,787 --> 00:11:45,407
The husk is mostly dirt.
280
00:11:45,414 --> 00:11:48,294
Look, these orders are coming
from the king directly, kid.
281
00:11:48,292 --> 00:11:51,422
It's either do your job or get beheaded.
GORBY: Hey, Patrick!
282
00:11:51,420 --> 00:11:53,460
Don't worry. They're like lobsters.
283
00:11:53,463 --> 00:11:56,183
I've heard they don't feel a thing.
They do scream though.
284
00:11:56,175 --> 00:11:57,755
[slice]
[scream]
285
00:11:57,759 --> 00:11:59,339
Ah!
286
00:11:59,344 --> 00:12:01,184
Ah!
287
00:12:01,180 --> 00:12:04,350
♪
288
00:12:04,349 --> 00:12:05,769
[creak, crash]
289
00:12:05,767 --> 00:12:07,097
Ah!
290
00:12:08,687 --> 00:12:10,727
[piping]
Oh!
291
00:12:12,774 --> 00:12:14,654
Queso is just melted cheese!
292
00:12:14,651 --> 00:12:16,991
Queso makes a house a home!
293
00:12:19,281 --> 00:12:22,281
♪ tropical music ♪
294
00:12:23,952 --> 00:12:26,332
[sips, spits]
295
00:12:26,330 --> 00:12:28,210
Well rum?!
296
00:12:28,207 --> 00:12:29,827
[struggling]
[creaking]
297
00:12:29,833 --> 00:12:32,383
It won't stop between
upright and totally flat.
298
00:12:32,377 --> 00:12:34,047
What kind of bullshit...
299
00:12:34,046 --> 00:12:35,876
[grunting]
[smash]
300
00:12:36,632 --> 00:12:40,012
Oh, fine! This is just fine! Fine!
301
00:12:45,807 --> 00:12:49,347
Goddamn threeandahalfstar resort!
302
00:12:49,353 --> 00:12:50,603
♪
303
00:12:50,604 --> 00:12:52,904
I'd love to introduce the three of you
304
00:12:52,898 --> 00:12:54,858
to our new ladyinwaiting.
305
00:12:54,858 --> 00:12:56,738
Come on in, cousin!
306
00:12:56,735 --> 00:12:58,235
Welcome, Blossom.
307
00:12:58,237 --> 00:13:00,527
I believe you already
know the other girls.
308
00:13:00,531 --> 00:13:02,371
Get out of the way, Human Shield!
309
00:13:02,366 --> 00:13:05,656
Hey! She's a person,
not a job description.
310
00:13:05,661 --> 00:13:09,461
Henceforth, Human Shield
will be known as Human Being.
311
00:13:09,456 --> 00:13:11,876
[gagging]
My name's Meredith.
312
00:13:11,875 --> 00:13:13,285
BOTH:
No one cares.
313
00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:16,133
Now, I've created a new
job for you, Blossom.
314
00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:17,879
"Morale facilitator."
315
00:13:17,881 --> 00:13:19,591
I'm a fucking cheerleader?
316
00:13:19,591 --> 00:13:22,471
Let's practice, shall we?
Blossom, say something nice
317
00:13:22,469 --> 00:13:24,969
about Human Being's new flower crown.
318
00:13:25,973 --> 00:13:29,143
[gritted teeth]
It doesn't look like fat shit.
319
00:13:29,142 --> 00:13:31,272
DANIELLE:
Surely, you can do better than that.
320
00:13:31,270 --> 00:13:32,690
OLD KING:
Kiss each other!
321
00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:35,020
[blinking]
322
00:13:36,483 --> 00:13:37,783
[both moaning]
323
00:13:37,776 --> 00:13:39,606
No! Stop. That won't be necessary.
324
00:13:39,611 --> 00:13:42,411
You're right.
Kill each other!
325
00:13:42,406 --> 00:13:45,696
In the gladiator pit! [maniacal laughter]
326
00:13:45,701 --> 00:13:47,081
Danielle!
327
00:13:47,077 --> 00:13:49,957
You sent me to peel homeless people?!
328
00:13:49,955 --> 00:13:51,455
That'll be all for now.
329
00:13:54,668 --> 00:13:56,958
Chopping up poor people as food
330
00:13:56,962 --> 00:13:59,092
doesn't strike you as psychotic?
331
00:13:59,089 --> 00:14:02,629
Well, the Old King's original plan
was way more horrifying!
332
00:14:02,634 --> 00:14:05,264
I'm softening that man's worst instincts.
333
00:14:05,262 --> 00:14:07,852
You know Merriman
would be better for this kingdom!
334
00:14:07,848 --> 00:14:09,808
I'd be better for the kingdom,
335
00:14:09,808 --> 00:14:11,348
but I can't replace the Old King
336
00:14:11,351 --> 00:14:13,441
until Merriman is locked up or dead!
337
00:14:13,437 --> 00:14:15,807
Which you. Could. Help. With.
338
00:14:15,814 --> 00:14:18,734
But you're being a total
little bitch about it. Oi!
339
00:14:18,734 --> 00:14:21,744
[stomping, clanking]
340
00:14:21,737 --> 00:14:24,237
♪
341
00:14:24,239 --> 00:14:26,449
Your order is to bring me Merriman.
342
00:14:26,450 --> 00:14:28,370
SIR MIDNIGHT DARKNESS X:
Dead or alive?
343
00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:29,788
Oh! Surprise me.
344
00:14:30,454 --> 00:14:31,874
Ow!
345
00:14:31,872 --> 00:14:33,462
[clanking]
346
00:14:34,625 --> 00:14:36,915
Right. I've gotta go jill off.
347
00:14:36,919 --> 00:14:39,339
This sexual tension
between us is killing me.
348
00:14:42,299 --> 00:14:45,799
Man, I wish I had one of those
plans everyone thinks I have.
349
00:14:45,802 --> 00:14:47,472
[horse neighing]
350
00:14:47,471 --> 00:14:49,391
[clanking]
351
00:14:50,974 --> 00:14:52,854
[whinny, galloping]
352
00:14:53,310 --> 00:14:54,850
Maybe my plan
353
00:14:54,853 --> 00:14:57,363
is ruining that guy's plan.
354
00:14:57,356 --> 00:15:00,356
♪
355
00:15:00,359 --> 00:15:02,189
[birds chirping]
356
00:15:04,738 --> 00:15:06,238
Wait, what's that saying?
357
00:15:06,240 --> 00:15:08,950
"You give a man some jerky,
he eats for a day.
358
00:15:08,951 --> 00:15:12,161
Use that jerky to fish,
and he eats for a lifetime!"
359
00:15:15,499 --> 00:15:17,749
Well, that was a load of bullshit.
360
00:15:17,751 --> 00:15:20,251
[stomach growls]
Oh, I'm still hungry.
361
00:15:20,254 --> 00:15:22,974
If only the woods could sustain a person.
362
00:15:24,383 --> 00:15:27,183
Getget outta here! Shoo! Vermin!
363
00:15:28,262 --> 00:15:31,812
Sustenance!
I can use this mushroom to catch a fish!
364
00:15:31,807 --> 00:15:34,267
No! That's where I went wrong before.
365
00:15:34,268 --> 00:15:36,898
Oh, ho! I'm adapting!
366
00:15:36,895 --> 00:15:38,645
Mm...
367
00:15:38,647 --> 00:15:41,107
That's gross. Blech. I'll just chase it
368
00:15:41,108 --> 00:15:42,858
by licking this toad.
[ribbit]
369
00:15:42,860 --> 00:15:44,530
[slurp] There we go.
370
00:15:44,528 --> 00:15:47,278
Now, the rest of day
should be perfectly normal.
371
00:15:48,115 --> 00:15:51,445
You! Giant stump. Are you hiring?
372
00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:53,201
I need food plus tax money.
373
00:15:53,203 --> 00:15:56,213
♪
374
00:15:57,916 --> 00:16:01,206
[distorted]
Oh... This isn't good...
375
00:16:02,129 --> 00:16:05,049
[galloping]
[panting]
376
00:16:05,048 --> 00:16:06,048
Excuse me!
377
00:16:06,049 --> 00:16:09,599
Have you seen a man come through here?
[laughs] A man?
378
00:16:09,595 --> 00:16:12,175
Can you get a bit more specific, lad?
379
00:16:12,181 --> 00:16:14,061
I only had one visitor today.
380
00:16:14,057 --> 00:16:15,847
Black armor, about sixfoottwelve,
381
00:16:15,851 --> 00:16:18,901
head like a boulder,
and soul dark as night.
382
00:16:18,896 --> 00:16:22,396
See how much more helpful
that was than just "a man"?
383
00:16:22,399 --> 00:16:24,069
Yes. I do.
384
00:16:24,067 --> 00:16:25,357
Well, he's right behind you.
385
00:16:25,360 --> 00:16:26,530
[galloping]
386
00:16:26,528 --> 00:16:28,658
♪
387
00:16:29,406 --> 00:16:32,576
[gasps] You're even bigger closeup.
388
00:16:32,576 --> 00:16:34,286
Everyone's bigger closeup.
389
00:16:34,286 --> 00:16:36,326
[horse snorts]
[Patrick sighs]
390
00:16:40,584 --> 00:16:42,424
[ribbit]
[galloping]
391
00:16:42,419 --> 00:16:44,509
So, Princess Danielle said
392
00:16:44,505 --> 00:16:46,715
I should tag along on your mission today.
393
00:16:46,715 --> 00:16:48,425
She thought I might learn something.
394
00:16:48,425 --> 00:16:50,585
II wanna be a knight,
you know, just like you.
395
00:16:50,594 --> 00:16:52,014
SIR MIDNIGHT DARKNESS X:
We die young,
396
00:16:52,012 --> 00:16:54,562
but benefits are pretty good.
[neighs]
397
00:16:54,556 --> 00:16:56,016
♪
398
00:16:56,016 --> 00:16:59,016
Ooh! You see something?
It looks like mud to me.
399
00:16:59,019 --> 00:17:00,939
[gasps] Is mud a clue?
400
00:17:00,938 --> 00:17:03,568
SIR MIDNIGHT DARKNESS X:
He went this way, one hour ago.
401
00:17:03,565 --> 00:17:05,315
How do you know that?
402
00:17:05,317 --> 00:17:08,397
SIR MIDNIGHT DARKNESS X: You can tell
by the depth of the footprints.
403
00:17:08,403 --> 00:17:09,993
Also, he left that.
404
00:17:11,990 --> 00:17:14,990
♪ mystical music ♪
405
00:17:17,120 --> 00:17:20,460
You are so wise, fancy worm!
406
00:17:20,457 --> 00:17:23,087
Do you know the secret of the universe?
407
00:17:23,085 --> 00:17:25,585
[crackling, shimmering]
408
00:17:26,672 --> 00:17:28,842
[echoing]
Oh...
409
00:17:28,841 --> 00:17:31,181
BUTTERFLY:
Hey, man, we are all one
410
00:17:31,176 --> 00:17:33,296
in this majestic ballet of life.
411
00:17:33,303 --> 00:17:35,893
[echoing]
Life... life... life... life... life...
412
00:17:35,889 --> 00:17:37,809
This is my place in the dance.
413
00:17:37,808 --> 00:17:39,938
Do you know your place in the dance?
414
00:17:39,935 --> 00:17:41,435
It's...
[hawk screeches]
415
00:17:41,436 --> 00:17:43,516
Holy fucking fuck!
416
00:17:44,857 --> 00:17:46,527
BUTTERFLY:
This is fine, man.
417
00:17:46,525 --> 00:17:49,605
A natural part of the cycle,
even as it severs
418
00:17:49,611 --> 00:17:52,031
my delicate butterfly spine.
419
00:17:52,030 --> 00:17:53,620
[screaming]
420
00:17:53,615 --> 00:17:55,275
[echoing]
Oh no!
421
00:17:55,284 --> 00:17:57,874
No, I don't like it!
422
00:17:57,870 --> 00:17:59,960
No, I donI don't like it!
423
00:17:59,955 --> 00:18:02,115
♪ tropical music ♪
424
00:18:02,124 --> 00:18:05,174
I still don't see why a couple's
retreat is necessary, Mark.
425
00:18:05,169 --> 00:18:07,419
We just did one!
You were late,
426
00:18:07,421 --> 00:18:10,051
and I did the whole thing myself, Coral!
427
00:18:10,048 --> 00:18:11,468
Well, I'm here now.
428
00:18:11,466 --> 00:18:13,676
But you're not really present!
429
00:18:13,677 --> 00:18:15,347
Can't we just put aside our roles
430
00:18:15,345 --> 00:18:17,675
as pirate queen and CPA,
431
00:18:17,681 --> 00:18:21,271
and just be woman and man
for a single weekend?
432
00:18:21,268 --> 00:18:24,268
Fine. You have my undivided attention.
433
00:18:24,271 --> 00:18:26,731
TULIP: Help!
Oh, thank God.
434
00:18:27,107 --> 00:18:28,647
Tulip, is that you?
435
00:18:28,650 --> 00:18:31,360
What's wrong?
Oh, Coral! Thank goodness.
436
00:18:31,361 --> 00:18:34,411
Look! This sushi's made
with imitation crab!
437
00:18:35,282 --> 00:18:37,162
[crying]
438
00:18:37,159 --> 00:18:38,909
Wow, this feels like a new low.
439
00:18:38,911 --> 00:18:41,871
What are you doing here?
Oh, it doesn't matter.
440
00:18:41,872 --> 00:18:44,752
I'm going to die crushed by
a weighted blanket of averageness.
441
00:18:44,750 --> 00:18:47,420
Hey, hey! That's what I call Mark.
442
00:18:47,419 --> 00:18:49,669
Why don't we try and cheer you up?
443
00:18:49,671 --> 00:18:52,671
♪
444
00:18:53,091 --> 00:18:56,601
I'm the pirate queen of the world!
445
00:18:56,595 --> 00:18:59,675
[sails flapping]
446
00:19:00,974 --> 00:19:03,484
I'm definitely gonna
break up with her this time.
447
00:19:04,353 --> 00:19:05,853
Probably.
448
00:19:09,483 --> 00:19:12,993
So, basically, I wanna be
a knight to help people.
449
00:19:12,986 --> 00:19:15,816
But I guess I never thought about
having to serve under a king
450
00:19:15,822 --> 00:19:19,202
that's so... unpredictable?
Why did you wanna be a knight?
451
00:19:19,201 --> 00:19:20,831
SIR MIDNIGHT DARKNESS X:
I wanted brothers,
452
00:19:20,827 --> 00:19:23,707
and knighthood is a bond
thicker than blood.
453
00:19:23,705 --> 00:19:25,455
[clanking]
454
00:19:25,457 --> 00:19:27,627
You are a squire now,
455
00:19:27,626 --> 00:19:29,336
but one day, you will be a knight.
456
00:19:30,212 --> 00:19:32,172
That makes us family.
457
00:19:33,006 --> 00:19:34,676
Ah! What the hell?
[hissing]
458
00:19:34,675 --> 00:19:36,215
Oh my god!
459
00:19:36,218 --> 00:19:38,638
SIR MIDNIGHT DARKNESS X:
Yup. That's a dickmouth viper.
460
00:19:38,637 --> 00:19:40,637
The venom turns your dick inside out,
461
00:19:40,639 --> 00:19:44,019
then makes it tunnel up through your body
and pop out of your mouth.
462
00:19:44,017 --> 00:19:45,767
Wow! You saved me!
463
00:19:45,769 --> 00:19:48,059
SIR MIDNIGHT DARKNESS X:
The number one rule of knighthood,
464
00:19:48,063 --> 00:19:49,943
always protect each other.
465
00:19:49,940 --> 00:19:52,030
♪
466
00:19:52,025 --> 00:19:53,525
Hm...
467
00:19:54,444 --> 00:19:56,704
[sniffs] He's close.
468
00:19:57,281 --> 00:19:58,991
♪
469
00:19:58,991 --> 00:20:00,161
[gasps, grunts]
470
00:20:00,158 --> 00:20:01,578
[rock tumbling]
Huh?
471
00:20:04,496 --> 00:20:06,286
[Patrick panting]
472
00:20:06,290 --> 00:20:08,880
Sire, run! It's Sir Midnight Darkness X!
473
00:20:08,876 --> 00:20:11,206
[echoing] X... X... X...
[echoing] Oh...
474
00:20:11,211 --> 00:20:12,881
[Patrick's voice]
You're in danger! Run!
475
00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:15,340
[laughing] Don't you lecture me,
476
00:20:15,340 --> 00:20:18,050
you little bunny!
I'm gonna boop your nose!
477
00:20:18,051 --> 00:20:20,551
Are you high? Not today, man!
478
00:20:20,554 --> 00:20:22,064
[growling]
MERRIMAN: Be careful,
479
00:20:22,055 --> 00:20:24,305
little bunny.
There's a big bear behind you
480
00:20:24,308 --> 00:20:26,638
with an axe! Which seems redundant.
481
00:20:26,643 --> 00:20:29,313
SIR MIDNIGHT DARKNESS X:
Here's the rock you threw to distract me.
482
00:20:29,313 --> 00:20:31,523
Step aside.
Listen,
483
00:20:31,523 --> 00:20:33,153
I know you're just following orders,
484
00:20:33,150 --> 00:20:35,070
but Merriman would be
better for the kingdom.
485
00:20:35,068 --> 00:20:36,988
SIR MIDNIGHT DARKNESS X:
Knights follow orders.
486
00:20:36,987 --> 00:20:38,987
King Merriman, run! [grunts]
[loud growl]
487
00:20:38,989 --> 00:20:40,989
[slice, grunt]
[laughing]
488
00:20:40,991 --> 00:20:44,241
You've gotta try harder
than that, scary bear!
489
00:20:44,244 --> 00:20:46,504
Oh! [laughing]
490
00:20:46,496 --> 00:20:47,746
No!
491
00:20:48,790 --> 00:20:49,580
[laughing]
492
00:20:49,583 --> 00:20:52,593
[bear growling]
[boinging]
493
00:20:52,586 --> 00:20:54,666
Go find a beehive, bear.
494
00:20:54,671 --> 00:20:56,221
[Patrick grunts]
[squeaking]
495
00:20:56,215 --> 00:20:58,465
Rubber chicken! Classic gag.
496
00:20:58,467 --> 00:21:01,137
[Sir Midnight Darkness X screams]
497
00:21:01,136 --> 00:21:03,506
Wait! Butterfly! I have some sad news
498
00:21:03,514 --> 00:21:05,854
about one of your friends!
499
00:21:06,350 --> 00:21:08,310
SIR MIDNIGHT DARKNESS X:
Brother?
500
00:21:08,310 --> 00:21:09,650
[grunts]
Ah...
501
00:21:10,395 --> 00:21:11,515
Merriman!
502
00:21:12,272 --> 00:21:13,772
Please come back!
503
00:21:16,151 --> 00:21:18,651
I betrayed the brotherhood.
504
00:21:20,697 --> 00:21:23,407
I killed Sir Midnight Darkness X
505
00:21:23,408 --> 00:21:25,198
to help Merriman escape.
506
00:21:25,202 --> 00:21:26,662
[all gasping]
Traitor!
507
00:21:26,662 --> 00:21:29,412
I sentence you to death.
508
00:21:29,414 --> 00:21:31,294
Uh, bring out the chopping block.
509
00:21:31,291 --> 00:21:33,791
I deserve it. I broke my oath
510
00:21:33,794 --> 00:21:35,754
and let down my kingdom.
511
00:21:35,754 --> 00:21:38,424
[sighs] He's so fucking emo.
512
00:21:38,423 --> 00:21:40,513
Why is that so erotic?
513
00:21:40,509 --> 00:21:43,929
Um, instead of beheading him,
what if we...
514
00:21:43,929 --> 00:21:46,599
reopened the gladiator arena?
515
00:21:46,598 --> 00:21:49,978
For realsies? Hooray!
516
00:21:49,977 --> 00:21:52,307
No, you can just behead me.
517
00:21:52,312 --> 00:21:53,692
It's settled then. Guards!
518
00:21:53,689 --> 00:21:56,399
Get this prisoner prepared for battle.
519
00:21:57,234 --> 00:21:59,074
I'm stalling for you as best I can.
520
00:21:59,069 --> 00:22:01,319
You should've let them chop off my head.
521
00:22:01,321 --> 00:22:04,621
Oh, that's so hot.
Are you doing that on purpose?
522
00:22:04,616 --> 00:22:05,866
[sighs]
523
00:22:07,870 --> 00:22:10,410
[beads rattling]
524
00:22:10,414 --> 00:22:14,294
[loud whisper] Patrick! I think these
people may be trying to kill you.
525
00:22:15,711 --> 00:22:16,921
Good.
526
00:22:20,632 --> 00:22:23,642
[heart beating]
527
00:22:29,391 --> 00:22:31,481
Oh...
528
00:22:31,476 --> 00:22:33,096
What the...
529
00:22:33,103 --> 00:22:34,313
[typing]
530
00:22:34,313 --> 00:22:36,773
Where am I?
Looking good, Maxwell.
531
00:22:36,773 --> 00:22:38,943
I'll get you those reports
by the end of the day.
532
00:22:38,942 --> 00:22:41,702
What the devil?
You see the game last night, Maxwell?
533
00:22:41,695 --> 00:22:44,565
What game?
Ha! Exactly. Classic Maxwell.
534
00:22:44,573 --> 00:22:46,783
♪
535
00:22:46,783 --> 00:22:48,293
Am I in Hell?
536
00:22:48,911 --> 00:22:50,411
♪ dramatic sting ♪
537
00:22:50,412 --> 00:22:52,252
♪ mystical music ♪
538
00:22:52,247 --> 00:22:53,457
Holy shit.
539
00:22:54,416 --> 00:22:55,956
I am in Hell!
540
00:22:55,959 --> 00:22:58,959
♪
541
00:23:28,992 --> 00:23:31,952
[8bit noises]
542
00:23:31,954 --> 00:23:33,834
CHILD:
That was amazing.
543
00:23:33,830 --> 00:23:35,830
[paper crinkling, monkey ooking, slap]
544
00:23:35,880 --> 00:23:40,430
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