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1
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[birds chirping]
2
00:00:05,214 --> 00:00:08,224
[flapping]
3
00:00:14,097 --> 00:00:16,137
[flapping]
4
00:00:16,683 --> 00:00:19,693
♪ ominous music playing ♪
5
00:00:19,686 --> 00:00:21,436
[horses galloping]
6
00:00:21,438 --> 00:00:22,478
[neighing]
7
00:00:25,526 --> 00:00:28,396
♪ dramatic music playing ♪
8
00:00:39,206 --> 00:00:41,496
♪
9
00:00:41,500 --> 00:00:43,170
Happy face to Patrick
10
00:00:43,168 --> 00:00:46,338
for saving the Royal Family
from assassination.
11
00:00:46,338 --> 00:00:47,798
Uh, thank you?
12
00:00:47,798 --> 00:00:50,218
Frowny face to Donna
13
00:00:50,217 --> 00:00:51,717
for missing the moat.
14
00:00:51,718 --> 00:00:55,098
Happy face to King Merriman!
I'm still king!
15
00:00:55,931 --> 00:00:57,221
[Queen Tulip grunts]
That's better.
16
00:00:57,224 --> 00:01:00,484
Merriman, the castle is ruined,
and we are broke!
17
00:01:00,477 --> 00:01:01,977
But, Tulip, we're alive!
18
00:01:01,979 --> 00:01:04,109
I'd rather be dead than poor.
19
00:01:04,106 --> 00:01:05,106
Well, me too,
20
00:01:05,107 --> 00:01:07,437
but that's one of those things you're
not supposed to say out loud
21
00:01:07,442 --> 00:01:09,532
because it makes you
sound like a real asshole.
22
00:01:09,528 --> 00:01:12,488
[crumbling, crashing]
23
00:01:12,489 --> 00:01:15,699
Maybe it's not the time to bring up
how well King Randy is doing,
24
00:01:15,701 --> 00:01:18,661
but look how well King Randy is doing!
25
00:01:18,662 --> 00:01:21,582
This isn't a dickmeasuring
contest, Randy!
26
00:01:21,582 --> 00:01:24,792
Good thing. Rumor has it,
he's hung like a lesbian at a witch trial,
27
00:01:24,793 --> 00:01:26,343
who's also a horse.
28
00:01:26,336 --> 00:01:28,626
Wow. Yeah, that's pretty hung.
29
00:01:28,630 --> 00:01:30,090
Happy face for Randy.
30
00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:32,130
Patrick, you're a hero!
31
00:01:32,134 --> 00:01:34,224
You better brush those
shoulders off, girl.
32
00:01:34,219 --> 00:01:36,469
Really? You think
I'm about to be knighted?
33
00:01:36,471 --> 00:01:39,731
Maybe! Maybe not. But there's
definitely a baby scorpion on you.
34
00:01:39,725 --> 00:01:42,225
[snapping]
Ah! Get it off! Get it off!
35
00:01:42,728 --> 00:01:44,768
[excited murmuring]
36
00:01:44,771 --> 00:01:46,401
The knights are returning!
37
00:01:46,398 --> 00:01:49,028
♪ heroic music playing ♪
38
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[whinnying]
39
00:01:50,694 --> 00:01:53,494
[crowd screaming, cheering]
40
00:01:56,074 --> 00:01:57,834
[clothes ripping]
41
00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:01,830
[neighs]
42
00:02:01,830 --> 00:02:04,630
Whoa. These guys fuck for sure.
43
00:02:04,625 --> 00:02:07,245
Oh! If I weren't straight...
44
00:02:07,252 --> 00:02:09,302
Or if they even... even asked...
45
00:02:10,714 --> 00:02:12,554
♪ harp strumming ♪
46
00:02:12,549 --> 00:02:14,089
[neighs]
47
00:02:15,469 --> 00:02:16,549
[crowd cheering]
48
00:02:16,553 --> 00:02:19,143
CROWD:
Patrick! Patrick! Patrick!
49
00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:21,889
WOMEN: Marry me, Patrick, I love you!
[clothes ripping]
50
00:02:21,892 --> 00:02:24,192
I wanna have your baby!
Patrick, sign my tits!
51
00:02:24,186 --> 00:02:25,806
Oh wow...
52
00:02:25,812 --> 00:02:27,482
I've had sex.
53
00:02:28,398 --> 00:02:30,148
[excited laugh]
54
00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:31,570
♪ harp strumming ♪
55
00:02:32,194 --> 00:02:33,954
[cheering fades away]
56
00:02:33,946 --> 00:02:35,196
♪
57
00:02:35,197 --> 00:02:37,447
.We set off as soon as we heard
the kingdom was in danger,
58
00:02:37,449 --> 00:02:39,489
but it appears we arrived too late.
59
00:02:39,493 --> 00:02:42,043
The castle's pretty
jacked up but luckily,
60
00:02:42,037 --> 00:02:44,707
this squire saved us all
from certain death.
61
00:02:44,706 --> 00:02:47,836
He is truly the greatest
squire who ever lived.
62
00:02:47,835 --> 00:02:49,875
Great! So, the assassin's dead?
63
00:02:49,878 --> 00:02:53,128
No, she got away.
But the kingdom's secrets are safe.
64
00:02:53,131 --> 00:02:55,801
No, sheshe got 'em all.
Stole them, eh?
65
00:02:55,801 --> 00:02:58,761
No, they were freely given.
By which traitor?!
66
00:02:58,762 --> 00:03:00,352
Actually, by Patrick,
67
00:03:00,347 --> 00:03:03,887
the greatest squire who ever lived...
68
00:03:03,892 --> 00:03:04,892
[Patrick groans]
69
00:03:04,893 --> 00:03:07,313
[gavel banging]
70
00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:08,812
♪
71
00:03:10,774 --> 00:03:13,444
All rise for the case of the Kingdom
72
00:03:13,443 --> 00:03:17,033
versus Patrick, the traitor squire!
73
00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:18,620
[chairs creak]
74
00:03:18,615 --> 00:03:22,115
I told them I was prejudiced against
squires to try to get out of this,
75
00:03:22,119 --> 00:03:25,829
and I'm still here.
Now, I just hate squires for real!
76
00:03:25,831 --> 00:03:27,831
♪
77
00:03:27,833 --> 00:03:29,923
Oh...
Patrick,
78
00:03:29,918 --> 00:03:32,668
you're accused of conspiracy
to commit treason.
79
00:03:32,671 --> 00:03:35,261
Now, they say that you
shared the king's secrets
80
00:03:35,257 --> 00:03:37,467
with an assassin you went to bed with!
81
00:03:37,467 --> 00:03:39,547
But, that doesn't add up. Isn't it true
82
00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:41,603
you didn't even close the deal with her?
83
00:03:41,597 --> 00:03:44,767
Yes, but I wish you hadn't
said that on the record,
84
00:03:44,766 --> 00:03:47,686
in front of everyone,
including my parents.
85
00:03:47,686 --> 00:03:50,766
[sighs] The boy never finishes anything.
86
00:03:50,772 --> 00:03:53,942
So wait, if he gets executed,
can I have his stuff?
87
00:03:53,942 --> 00:03:55,992
Ha, ha. Then he did it.
88
00:03:55,986 --> 00:03:57,646
♪
89
00:03:57,654 --> 00:03:59,364
Not a fan.
90
00:03:59,364 --> 00:04:02,534
Oh, come on!
He didn't do it, I'm telling ya!
91
00:04:02,534 --> 00:04:05,204
King Merriman's a standup guy!
[grunts]
92
00:04:05,704 --> 00:04:07,964
We're discussing your brother Patrick.
93
00:04:07,956 --> 00:04:10,576
He's the one on trial.
What, Patrick?
94
00:04:10,584 --> 00:04:12,294
Nah, I barely know that guy.
95
00:04:12,294 --> 00:04:13,844
He is my best friend.
96
00:04:13,837 --> 00:04:15,507
He'd never give away secrets,
97
00:04:15,506 --> 00:04:17,626
or fail to close the deal.
98
00:04:17,633 --> 00:04:20,933
He's a model squire,
and I would do anything for him.
99
00:04:20,928 --> 00:04:23,348
[applause]
100
00:04:23,347 --> 00:04:26,017
Including lie on the witness stand!
[ding]
101
00:04:26,016 --> 00:04:28,226
[crowd booing]
[groans]
102
00:04:28,227 --> 00:04:30,807
And now, my kingdom's half destroyed.
103
00:04:30,812 --> 00:04:33,572
We need to find
a scapegoat to pin this on.
104
00:04:33,565 --> 00:04:37,395
That'll fix everything
and we can all go home early.
105
00:04:37,402 --> 00:04:39,242
Well, almost all of us.
[whispers] Hear that?
106
00:04:39,238 --> 00:04:41,368
I'm going home early.
Oh.
107
00:04:41,365 --> 00:04:43,985
You expect us to believe a young man
108
00:04:43,992 --> 00:04:47,122
spent the night in bed
with a beautiful woman,
109
00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:50,210
and didn't even try to go all the way?
110
00:04:50,207 --> 00:04:53,877
[sighs] We mostly just stared into
each other's eyes and talked.
111
00:04:53,877 --> 00:04:56,707
In a way, it was more intimate.
112
00:04:56,713 --> 00:04:57,803
[booing]
113
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Oh god, where's my gavel?
[banging]
114
00:05:00,175 --> 00:05:02,795
The jury will now be sequestered.
115
00:05:02,803 --> 00:05:05,813
♪ Hungarian Rhapsody No. 2 ♪
116
00:05:07,224 --> 00:05:08,394
And we got a verdict.
117
00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:12,230
This looks bad.
Let it play out.
118
00:05:13,689 --> 00:05:15,439
Still six more jurors.
119
00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:17,570
[ding]
120
00:05:17,568 --> 00:05:21,148
Damn it! At least the winky face
softened the blow. So sassy.
121
00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:23,204
Okay, here's what I got.
You're found guilty of treason,
122
00:05:23,198 --> 00:05:27,078
destruction of property, and not being
able to close the deal, pussy.
123
00:05:27,077 --> 00:05:31,037
You are hereby ordered to spin
the Wheel of Retribution.
124
00:05:33,375 --> 00:05:35,625
♪ Now, gather 'round, guys and gals ♪
125
00:05:35,627 --> 00:05:37,497
♪ It's the Wheel of Retribution ♪
126
00:05:37,504 --> 00:05:39,804
♪ Will he get a slap on the wrist ♪
127
00:05:39,798 --> 00:05:41,298
♪ Or a public execution? ♪
128
00:05:41,300 --> 00:05:44,890
[laughs] That song is my favorite part.
Please, keep going.
129
00:05:44,887 --> 00:05:48,597
♪ It's incredibly just, amazingly fair,and also so much fun ♪
130
00:05:48,599 --> 00:05:52,309
♪ The Wheel of Retributionis a joy to everyone! ♪
131
00:05:52,311 --> 00:05:53,311
Not for me.
132
00:05:53,312 --> 00:05:55,442
And what makes it extra amusing
133
00:05:55,439 --> 00:05:59,109
is that one of the punishments
is the, quote, "silly one."
134
00:05:59,109 --> 00:06:00,859
Uh, which one is the silly one?
135
00:06:00,861 --> 00:06:04,201
Win us a boat, Patrick!
Don't be ridiculous, Glenn.
136
00:06:04,198 --> 00:06:05,778
Take the cash, Patrick!
137
00:06:05,782 --> 00:06:08,412
[sighs, grunts]
[wheel squeaking]
138
00:06:08,410 --> 00:06:11,120
♪
139
00:06:11,121 --> 00:06:14,121
[squeaking, clicking]
140
00:06:16,460 --> 00:06:19,250
Phew! Looks like I'm butt chugging
a gallon of milk.
141
00:06:19,254 --> 00:06:22,634
You're blind, dude. If anything,
it's closer to "face eaten by rats."
142
00:06:22,633 --> 00:06:23,933
[whispers] Shut the fuck up, Broth.
143
00:06:23,926 --> 00:06:26,386
You know what? I'm gonna give you both.
But that's not fair.
144
00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:29,256
Oh god. Please read back
the transcript for the court.
145
00:06:29,264 --> 00:06:33,064
"It's incredibly just, amazingly fair,
and also so much fun.
146
00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:35,850
The Wheel of Retribution
is a joy to everyone."
147
00:06:35,854 --> 00:06:38,074
[banging]
Okay, sustained. Fetch the face rats!
148
00:06:38,065 --> 00:06:40,225
[crowd cheering]
149
00:06:40,234 --> 00:06:42,324
[gnawing, snarling]
150
00:06:42,819 --> 00:06:44,399
It's not so bad.
151
00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:46,494
[squishing]
152
00:06:46,490 --> 00:06:47,990
[cheering continues]
153
00:06:47,991 --> 00:06:49,831
♪
154
00:06:49,826 --> 00:06:52,076
Woop! Woop! Hold everything!
155
00:06:52,079 --> 00:06:54,409
Stage four rainbow alert! Woop! Woop!
156
00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:57,424
[cheering]
157
00:07:00,212 --> 00:07:01,212
Okay...
158
00:07:01,213 --> 00:07:04,223
[crowd gasping]
159
00:07:04,216 --> 00:07:06,466
Your Majesty, sometimes I think
160
00:07:06,468 --> 00:07:09,048
God must exist if something as wondrous
161
00:07:09,054 --> 00:07:10,264
Ah, who gives a fuck?
162
00:07:10,264 --> 00:07:12,724
We need the leprechaun gold
at the end of that rainbow,
163
00:07:12,724 --> 00:07:15,104
or else our brokeass kingdom
is gonna get conquered!
164
00:07:15,102 --> 00:07:16,692
Maybe by bigdick Randy!
165
00:07:16,687 --> 00:07:18,807
Every time we go on
a wild rainbow chase,
166
00:07:18,814 --> 00:07:20,234
there's never any gold.
167
00:07:20,232 --> 00:07:22,362
It is nothing but a silly little myth.
168
00:07:22,359 --> 00:07:25,489
That's preposterous.
We just need to up the ante.
169
00:07:25,487 --> 00:07:27,447
This time, the one who finds the gold
170
00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:30,117
can keep the leprechaun to do
whatever you want with it!
171
00:07:30,117 --> 00:07:33,657
Make it clean your place, sell it,
cut it up, fuck it, whatever!
172
00:07:33,662 --> 00:07:35,372
[crowd cheering]
173
00:07:35,372 --> 00:07:37,962
Be careful out there.
Don't fall for their games.
174
00:07:37,958 --> 00:07:40,458
They're wily little bastards.
YYour Majesty,
175
00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:44,210
if I find the gold, may I have
my sentence commuted?
176
00:07:44,214 --> 00:07:45,884
Patrick, if you find the gold,
177
00:07:45,883 --> 00:07:48,303
I'll butt chug the milk myself.
178
00:07:48,302 --> 00:07:51,182
Your Honor, is that allowed?
Ah, forget it, Andy.
179
00:07:51,180 --> 00:07:52,970
It's rich people law.
180
00:07:54,766 --> 00:07:57,806
♪
181
00:07:59,813 --> 00:08:01,323
♪
182
00:08:01,315 --> 00:08:03,975
Guys, if there's gold at
the end of the rainbow,
183
00:08:03,984 --> 00:08:07,324
maybe let me find it, so I won't
have my face eaten off.
184
00:08:07,321 --> 00:08:10,661
Patrick, sorry about your face,
but this is personal for me.
185
00:08:10,657 --> 00:08:13,487
As a child, my dad said he was going
out to find the end of a rainbow,
186
00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:16,373
and never... came... back.
BROTH: Sorry, buddy!
187
00:08:16,371 --> 00:08:18,001
I'm blinded by my lust for
188
00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:19,418
[Irish accent]
a free leprechaun!
189
00:08:19,416 --> 00:08:21,876
Frankly, Patrick, those rats
would be doing you a favor.
190
00:08:21,877 --> 00:08:24,587
I also have an opinion
about your request!
191
00:08:25,380 --> 00:08:26,380
[panting]
192
00:08:27,090 --> 00:08:28,340
[groans]
193
00:08:29,051 --> 00:08:30,181
Ah, screw them.
194
00:08:30,177 --> 00:08:32,427
No one's ever found the end
of the rainbow anyway.
195
00:08:32,429 --> 00:08:34,309
If I'm gonna find leprechaun gold,
196
00:08:34,306 --> 00:08:36,266
I need to be smart about this.
197
00:08:36,266 --> 00:08:38,056
[horse whinnies]
198
00:08:38,060 --> 00:08:39,390
Ah! Of course!
199
00:08:39,394 --> 00:08:42,484
I bet the knights know where to find
leprechauns. They've been everywhere.
200
00:08:42,481 --> 00:08:43,521
♪
201
00:08:43,524 --> 00:08:45,534
What is it, kid?
Do you need an autograph?
202
00:08:45,526 --> 00:08:48,196
Well, I'm ha, ha not gonna say no.
203
00:08:48,987 --> 00:08:51,197
[knight humming]
204
00:08:51,198 --> 00:08:53,328
There. That's permanent.
205
00:08:53,325 --> 00:08:55,445
Great. Um, one other thing.
206
00:08:55,452 --> 00:08:57,702
Could you point, on this map,
207
00:08:57,704 --> 00:08:59,834
where all the leprechauns live?
208
00:08:59,831 --> 00:09:01,211
Well, sure I can.
209
00:09:01,208 --> 00:09:04,338
[humming] Ah!
210
00:09:04,336 --> 00:09:06,046
Beeoo!
211
00:09:07,005 --> 00:09:10,545
Aw, my map!
Oh look, I invited airplanes. No big.
212
00:09:10,551 --> 00:09:14,181
Now, let's find a home
for all these boners!
213
00:09:14,179 --> 00:09:17,059
Boners!
[laughter]
214
00:09:17,724 --> 00:09:21,234
[knights grunting, overlapping chatter]
215
00:09:21,228 --> 00:09:22,228
[horse snorts]
216
00:09:22,229 --> 00:09:25,109
♪
217
00:09:25,649 --> 00:09:29,029
Hello? I think my map flew in here?
218
00:09:29,027 --> 00:09:31,147
[crying, straining]
219
00:09:31,154 --> 00:09:32,744
Oh my god, stop!
220
00:09:32,739 --> 00:09:34,909
[struggling]
221
00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:35,948
[sproing]
222
00:09:35,951 --> 00:09:38,791
Damn it, that was my only bolt!
Go chase it down for me, would you?
223
00:09:38,787 --> 00:09:41,667
I'm not helping you shoot
an arrow into your mouth!
224
00:09:41,665 --> 00:09:44,495
Listen, it's always darkest
before the dawn.
225
00:09:44,501 --> 00:09:47,001
Kid, save it. I took poison an hour ago.
226
00:09:47,004 --> 00:09:48,804
The crossbow was just
to move things along.
227
00:09:48,797 --> 00:09:51,877
What? We need to get you to a hospital!
Nah, there's no rush.
228
00:09:51,884 --> 00:09:53,894
It's a slowacting poison.
229
00:09:53,886 --> 00:09:55,596
Well, why didn't you
take fastacting poison?
230
00:09:55,596 --> 00:09:58,806
Ah, I wanted to tragically weep over
that picture of my wife for a while first.
231
00:09:58,807 --> 00:10:01,137
[sobbing]
232
00:10:01,143 --> 00:10:04,483
♪ sad music playing ♪
233
00:10:04,479 --> 00:10:06,689
Look, I'm a real wild card.
234
00:10:06,690 --> 00:10:09,230
The name's Sir Kutter.
Oh, my name's Patrick.
235
00:10:09,234 --> 00:10:11,454
It sounds like we're both having bad days.
236
00:10:11,445 --> 00:10:13,525
I've gotta find a pot of leprechaun gold
237
00:10:13,530 --> 00:10:15,410
or rats are gonna eat my face off.
238
00:10:15,407 --> 00:10:18,487
[laughing] Whoa!
What did you do to earn that?
239
00:10:18,493 --> 00:10:21,253
Eh, I gave away
state secrets to a sexy spy
240
00:10:21,246 --> 00:10:23,076
who was the love of my life.
241
00:10:23,081 --> 00:10:25,171
And now, I'll never be a knight.
242
00:10:25,167 --> 00:10:27,127
Oh, this is the worst day ever.
243
00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:30,047
You know what'll take the edge off?
244
00:10:30,047 --> 00:10:32,377
A little poison.
[sloshing]
245
00:10:32,382 --> 00:10:34,182
♪
246
00:10:34,176 --> 00:10:35,426
Wow, thanks for helping me.
247
00:10:35,427 --> 00:10:38,217
Patrick, we were born to be partners!
248
00:10:38,222 --> 00:10:41,142
You're a joyless square whose
idea of a good time is crudités
249
00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:43,351
and a jigsaw puzzle
with a lot of beige in it.
250
00:10:43,352 --> 00:10:45,772
Meanwhile, I'm the hellonwheels rebel
251
00:10:45,771 --> 00:10:47,481
rippin' farts and breakin' hearts
252
00:10:47,481 --> 00:10:49,531
who doublemajored in advanced badassery
253
00:10:49,525 --> 00:10:51,065
and howling at the moon!
254
00:10:51,068 --> 00:10:53,698
[howling]
255
00:10:53,695 --> 00:10:56,735
So, to be clear,
I'm definitely the lame partner.
256
00:10:56,740 --> 00:11:00,040
[laughing] Oh yeah,
but partners complete each other!
257
00:11:00,035 --> 00:11:01,745
You'll see. By the end of the story,
258
00:11:01,745 --> 00:11:04,825
we'll each have learned
something from the other.
259
00:11:04,831 --> 00:11:06,921
Wow.
And then, I'll die from poison,
260
00:11:06,917 --> 00:11:09,547
and, god, how you'll cry!
Great.
261
00:11:10,045 --> 00:11:12,085
Uh, hey, this isn't the way
to the rainbow.
262
00:11:12,089 --> 00:11:15,549
Ah, spoken like a true lameass.
Let those other fools chase the rainbow.
263
00:11:15,551 --> 00:11:18,431
Wild cards take shortcuts.
264
00:11:18,428 --> 00:11:21,308
This shortcut really takes us
through the janky part of town.
265
00:11:21,306 --> 00:11:23,516
The jankier the better!
266
00:11:23,517 --> 00:11:26,437
♪ loud rock music playing ♪
267
00:11:26,436 --> 00:11:28,266
Ol' One Horn around?
268
00:11:28,272 --> 00:11:30,772
Tell him Ol' Two Eyes is looking for him.
269
00:11:30,774 --> 00:11:33,034
One Horn ain't seeing visitors.
270
00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:36,066
Well, that's a shame
because I ain't not seeing him.
271
00:11:36,071 --> 00:11:39,911
Well, that's a shame
because you ain't not not seeing him.
272
00:11:39,908 --> 00:11:44,328
Well, that's a shame because
I ain't not not not seeing him.
273
00:11:44,329 --> 00:11:47,999
Well, you're not not not not...
274
00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:49,590
I'm gonna kill you! [grunts]
275
00:11:49,585 --> 00:11:51,745
Oh my god!
That's not a knife.
276
00:11:51,753 --> 00:11:53,883
[slice]
That's a knife.
277
00:11:53,881 --> 00:11:55,881
Technically, they're both knives.
278
00:11:55,883 --> 00:11:58,513
Size has nothing to do with it.
279
00:11:58,510 --> 00:12:00,930
[grunting, screams]
Ha!
280
00:12:00,929 --> 00:12:03,269
Oh! That escalated so fast!
281
00:12:03,265 --> 00:12:06,095
Relax. I missed all of his
vital face organs on purpose.
282
00:12:06,101 --> 00:12:08,101
It's true! It barely hurts!
283
00:12:08,103 --> 00:12:10,023
Wow! Such precision.
284
00:12:10,022 --> 00:12:12,942
[bartender grunts]
Steamers and kielbasa, comin' up!
285
00:12:12,941 --> 00:12:14,821
[splat]
Stick around.
286
00:12:14,818 --> 00:12:16,948
Fun partners love puns,
lame partners hate them.
287
00:12:16,945 --> 00:12:19,275
If I ever hear a pun out of your mouth,
288
00:12:19,281 --> 00:12:21,281
I'll know I've reached you.
289
00:12:21,992 --> 00:12:23,742
[splatter]
290
00:12:23,744 --> 00:12:24,754
♪
291
00:12:24,745 --> 00:12:26,825
[squires cheering]
292
00:12:26,830 --> 00:12:28,750
We found the end of the rainbow!
293
00:12:28,749 --> 00:12:30,579
This was not hard at all.
294
00:12:30,584 --> 00:12:32,634
Does anyone see my dad?
295
00:12:32,628 --> 00:12:35,458
Griffin found the rainbow first,
but I'm gonna find that gold.
296
00:12:35,464 --> 00:12:37,134
[cheering]
297
00:12:37,841 --> 00:12:39,591
Ooh! I found a shiny rock!
298
00:12:39,593 --> 00:12:42,143
I found friendship!
It's better than gold!
299
00:12:42,137 --> 00:12:43,557
Shut up, Gorby!
300
00:12:43,555 --> 00:12:44,635
[screaming]
301
00:12:44,640 --> 00:12:46,930
Hey, Griffin! I found your dad!
302
00:12:46,934 --> 00:12:49,314
Papa!
No! I am Eric.
303
00:12:49,311 --> 00:12:52,691
How dare you trespass
on leprechaun property.
304
00:12:52,689 --> 00:12:56,569
If it's gold you want,
the stakes shall be your very lives.
305
00:12:56,568 --> 00:12:58,648
[laughing]
[scared murmuring]
306
00:12:58,654 --> 00:13:00,324
It's time to play...
307
00:13:00,322 --> 00:13:03,332
STUDIO AUDIENCE:
Shamrock Showdown!
308
00:13:03,325 --> 00:13:05,985
[applause, cheering]
309
00:13:05,994 --> 00:13:07,504
[confused grunting]
310
00:13:07,496 --> 00:13:10,076
♪ game show music ♪
311
00:13:10,082 --> 00:13:12,422
Alright, Gorby. Your first challenge
312
00:13:12,417 --> 00:13:15,877
is to answer this question
for a shot at a prize.
313
00:13:15,879 --> 00:13:18,759
Leprechauns are notoriously fond
314
00:13:18,757 --> 00:13:20,587
of this color.
315
00:13:20,592 --> 00:13:22,762
Green?
Correct! You've won
316
00:13:22,761 --> 00:13:24,811
a handcrafted flute!
317
00:13:24,805 --> 00:13:26,135
[cheering]
BROTH: Good job, Gorby!
318
00:13:26,139 --> 00:13:28,429
Now, would you like to keep your flute,
319
00:13:28,433 --> 00:13:31,733
or tempt fate for a chance at the gold?
320
00:13:31,728 --> 00:13:33,728
[scoffs] Definitely the flute.
321
00:13:33,730 --> 00:13:36,530
Gorby, that question was so easy.
Yeah! Tempt fate!
322
00:13:36,525 --> 00:13:38,145
SQUIRES:
Tempt fate! Tempt fate!
323
00:13:38,151 --> 00:13:40,321
Tempt fate!
Okay.
324
00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:43,030
I'm gonna tempt fate, Eric!
Alright then!
325
00:13:43,031 --> 00:13:46,081
Spell the world "shillelagh."
326
00:13:46,076 --> 00:13:49,196
Can you use it in a sentence?
Of course I can!
327
00:13:49,204 --> 00:13:52,294
Quote, "Spell the word 'shillelagh,'
328
00:13:52,291 --> 00:13:54,881
said Eric."
Okay. Shillelagh.
329
00:13:54,877 --> 00:13:59,377
SHAILENEWOODLEY.
330
00:13:59,965 --> 00:14:01,295
[buzzer]
[Gorby screaming]
331
00:14:01,300 --> 00:14:02,720
[screaming]
Gorby!
332
00:14:02,718 --> 00:14:04,718
[descending note]
333
00:14:05,137 --> 00:14:07,717
♪
334
00:14:07,723 --> 00:14:09,733
Who is it, Jerry?
335
00:14:09,725 --> 00:14:12,265
Jerry, you can tell him
it's a nofun squire
336
00:14:12,269 --> 00:14:14,059
who really brings the room down
337
00:14:14,062 --> 00:14:17,022
and a rascally rogue
who's more of an antihero
338
00:14:17,024 --> 00:14:18,534
you love to hate.
339
00:14:18,525 --> 00:14:21,985
Ah, no. Jerry, take five, please.
340
00:14:21,987 --> 00:14:24,107
I'm calling in my favor, One Horn.
341
00:14:24,114 --> 00:14:26,124
You know the one I mean.
342
00:14:27,659 --> 00:14:30,659
♪ muzak playing ♪
343
00:14:31,914 --> 00:14:34,044
You wanna go in front of me?
You've only got, like, two things.
344
00:14:34,041 --> 00:14:37,171
I got, like, 100 if you count
every olive in this jar.
345
00:14:37,169 --> 00:14:38,879
[laughter]
346
00:14:38,879 --> 00:14:41,049
Thanks. You know, II owe you one.
347
00:14:41,507 --> 00:14:43,967
I knew that would come back
to bite me in the ass.
348
00:14:43,967 --> 00:14:46,177
Tell us where
the Leprechaun Gang is hiding out!
349
00:14:46,178 --> 00:14:48,468
No way! If they find out I squealed,
350
00:14:48,472 --> 00:14:50,312
they'll give me the Four Leaf Clover.
351
00:14:50,307 --> 00:14:53,977
That's when they carve a plus sign
into your face with a razor,
352
00:14:53,977 --> 00:14:56,517
and then peel each quadrant back.
353
00:14:56,522 --> 00:14:59,322
Jesus! Maybe he doesn't
have to tell us where they are.
354
00:14:59,316 --> 00:15:00,936
The Four Leaf Clover's
a walk in the park
355
00:15:00,943 --> 00:15:03,243
compared to getting your face
eaten off by rats, Patrick!
356
00:15:03,237 --> 00:15:05,737
Oh shit!
Yeah, give me a Four Leaf Clover
357
00:15:05,739 --> 00:15:07,529
any day of the week.
Great.
358
00:15:07,533 --> 00:15:11,163
I'm sorry, Kutter,
but I can only do you one favor today.
359
00:15:11,161 --> 00:15:12,621
Killing you real quick.
360
00:15:12,621 --> 00:15:15,001
[grunting, yelling]
[slicing]
361
00:15:14,998 --> 00:15:18,128
♪
362
00:15:18,126 --> 00:15:20,086
[shining]
363
00:15:20,087 --> 00:15:21,877
[yelling, slicing]
364
00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:23,720
Mule kick!
[Kutter grunts]
365
00:15:23,715 --> 00:15:25,715
[grunting]
[clanging, chirping]
366
00:15:25,717 --> 00:15:27,257
Oh... Huh?
367
00:15:28,846 --> 00:15:30,556
[yelling]
368
00:15:30,556 --> 00:15:31,676
[smash]
369
00:15:31,682 --> 00:15:33,142
[grunting]
370
00:15:33,141 --> 00:15:35,191
Ah, damn it!
371
00:15:37,729 --> 00:15:39,859
[screaming]
372
00:15:39,857 --> 00:15:41,727
Wait! Wait, wait, wait! Stop!
373
00:15:41,733 --> 00:15:45,243
The Leprechaun Gang's laying low
at the Pot O' Gold Restaurant on 5th!
374
00:15:45,237 --> 00:15:48,197
Ask for Eric!
There. Was that so hard?
375
00:15:48,198 --> 00:15:50,828
Next time I see you at the checkout line,
376
00:15:50,826 --> 00:15:53,446
you aren't cutting in front of shit!
377
00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:55,713
See you around, None Horn!
378
00:15:55,706 --> 00:15:57,076
♪
379
00:15:57,082 --> 00:16:00,042
What have you done?!
I'm just a horse now!
380
00:16:00,043 --> 00:16:02,713
A stupid fucking horse!
381
00:16:02,713 --> 00:16:03,713
[echoing]
382
00:16:05,757 --> 00:16:07,297
♪
383
00:16:07,301 --> 00:16:09,391
I feel bad about that unicorn.
384
00:16:09,386 --> 00:16:12,386
You know, II bet a lot of his selfworth
was tied up in that horn.
385
00:16:12,389 --> 00:16:14,349
Don't cry any tears for
that piece of shit, Patrick.
386
00:16:14,349 --> 00:16:16,349
He runs an illegal horse fighting ring.
387
00:16:16,351 --> 00:16:19,651
But he is a horse.
Why would he do that to his own kind?
388
00:16:19,646 --> 00:16:22,016
[sighs] Everyone knows that
the horse hierarchy goes
389
00:16:22,024 --> 00:16:24,324
unicorns, pegasuses, zebras, show horses,
390
00:16:24,318 --> 00:16:26,198
racehorses, labor horses,
mini horses, ponies,
391
00:16:26,195 --> 00:16:28,655
donkeys, mules,
followed by your second tier,
392
00:16:28,655 --> 00:16:30,735
lady unicorns, lady pegasuses,
lady zebras...
393
00:16:30,741 --> 00:16:33,581
Wow. Horse culture is really toxic.
394
00:16:33,577 --> 00:16:37,037
[applause, crowd cheering]
395
00:16:37,039 --> 00:16:39,789
[plinking]
396
00:16:41,084 --> 00:16:42,674
BROTH:
Hey, I won a skull!
397
00:16:42,669 --> 00:16:44,299
Alright. Ah!
[buzzer]
398
00:16:45,547 --> 00:16:47,877
I'm not worried.
I work for the best king ever,
399
00:16:47,883 --> 00:16:51,013
and he's probably working on a plan
to save all of us right now!
400
00:16:51,011 --> 00:16:52,181
[grunts, screaming]
401
00:16:52,971 --> 00:16:55,851
Just a little higher!
I think we've almost got Randy beat!
402
00:16:55,849 --> 00:16:57,679
[straining]
403
00:16:57,684 --> 00:17:00,904
Now, just hold it there forever.
Ah! Jesus fucking Christ!
404
00:17:00,896 --> 00:17:01,896
[smash]
405
00:17:02,731 --> 00:17:05,731
♪ lively music ♪
406
00:17:05,734 --> 00:17:08,654
Wow, a fondue place.
Now I have somewhere to bring dates.
407
00:17:08,654 --> 00:17:10,994
Sure, kid. Dates.
408
00:17:10,989 --> 00:17:13,989
[restaurant chatter]
409
00:17:15,786 --> 00:17:18,786
Hey, that woman looks like
the lady in your painting.
410
00:17:20,249 --> 00:17:21,749
[gasps] Jazlyn!
411
00:17:22,334 --> 00:17:23,634
[quietly] Jazlyn?
412
00:17:24,127 --> 00:17:27,507
So, this is my replacement, huh?
413
00:17:27,506 --> 00:17:30,626
[sighs] Hello, Kutter.
Oh, howdy! Pleased to meet you!
414
00:17:30,634 --> 00:17:33,804
My name's Bruce.
Your dead wife... is alive?
415
00:17:33,804 --> 00:17:35,144
I never said she was dead!
416
00:17:35,138 --> 00:17:38,268
It was strongly implied.
Well, she's dead to me.
417
00:17:38,267 --> 00:17:40,727
Dead! Just like I'll be soon.
You hear that,
418
00:17:40,727 --> 00:17:42,147
Jazlyn?!
419
00:17:42,145 --> 00:17:44,105
[Gorby screaming]
420
00:17:44,106 --> 00:17:45,436
Always a pleasure.
421
00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:47,570
Ah! Oh! Ah! That hurts!
422
00:17:47,568 --> 00:17:48,688
BROTH:
Oh, Patrick!
423
00:17:48,694 --> 00:17:52,204
Help us! The punishment for losing
the game show is being turned into cheese!
424
00:17:52,197 --> 00:17:56,197
Hoho! Someone fell for
the Shamrock Showdown.
425
00:17:56,201 --> 00:17:59,411
Let's fondue this. Oh no.
426
00:17:59,413 --> 00:18:00,793
[crying]
427
00:18:00,789 --> 00:18:04,209
This partnership was a success.
428
00:18:04,209 --> 00:18:06,549
[grunting]
[screaming]
429
00:18:06,545 --> 00:18:08,455
Cheddar luck next time, bitch.
430
00:18:08,463 --> 00:18:10,223
[splash, gurgling]
431
00:18:10,215 --> 00:18:11,755
[squires cheering]
432
00:18:11,758 --> 00:18:13,548
[panting]
[slice]
433
00:18:13,552 --> 00:18:16,182
[grunting, cheering]
434
00:18:16,180 --> 00:18:19,560
♪
435
00:18:19,558 --> 00:18:21,188
Word around the janky part of town
436
00:18:21,185 --> 00:18:23,725
is you're looking for Eric the Leprechaun.
437
00:18:23,729 --> 00:18:26,149
Well, I've got some bad news.
438
00:18:26,148 --> 00:18:27,648
You found him.
439
00:18:27,649 --> 00:18:30,399
[all screaming]
440
00:18:30,402 --> 00:18:32,202
Ha!
[grunts]
441
00:18:36,450 --> 00:18:37,660
[grunts]
442
00:18:37,659 --> 00:18:38,789
[whirring]
443
00:18:39,703 --> 00:18:40,793
Ah!
444
00:18:41,413 --> 00:18:43,753
Looking Gouda, motherfucker!
[screaming]
445
00:18:43,749 --> 00:18:45,249
No, no! No, no! Ah!
[grunts]
446
00:18:46,126 --> 00:18:48,796
[grumbling]
Gimme that. Ah! Ha!
447
00:18:48,795 --> 00:18:50,255
[splat]
448
00:18:51,924 --> 00:18:55,474
Ow! That's just annoying!
Get us with a blade, you idiot!
449
00:18:55,469 --> 00:18:58,469
Ah! It's got all my face organs!
450
00:18:58,472 --> 00:18:59,472
[splat]
451
00:18:59,473 --> 00:19:01,483
[all panting]
452
00:19:01,475 --> 00:19:04,685
Ha, ha!
We took down the Leprechaun Gang!
453
00:19:04,686 --> 00:19:07,606
Not that I'm bragging as we are much
larger and stronger than them.
454
00:19:07,606 --> 00:19:10,566
Thanks for saving our lives.
You know we'd do the same for you.
455
00:19:11,235 --> 00:19:13,605
You literally didn't earlier today.
456
00:19:13,612 --> 00:19:16,242
Ha! Right. We're incorrigible. Anyway,
457
00:19:16,240 --> 00:19:18,620
I'll catch you on the flipflop, timtam!
458
00:19:18,617 --> 00:19:20,287
Bye, Patrick!
459
00:19:20,285 --> 00:19:21,905
♪
460
00:19:21,912 --> 00:19:24,622
You caught me! Now, let's play...
461
00:19:24,623 --> 00:19:26,543
♪ game show music ♪
462
00:19:26,542 --> 00:19:29,252
Give us the gold or I'll kick your nuts
up through your mouth hole!
463
00:19:29,253 --> 00:19:30,503
♪ game show music ends ♪
464
00:19:30,504 --> 00:19:31,764
Fair enough.
465
00:19:31,755 --> 00:19:34,625
Well, you killed several members
of my date's family.
466
00:19:34,633 --> 00:19:37,893
I'm unlikely to even get fingerbanged
tonight. Thanks a lot.
467
00:19:37,886 --> 00:19:40,806
Hey, leave him alone.
He has minutes to live.
468
00:19:40,806 --> 00:19:43,846
Oh, is he still doing that routine?
I mean it this time!
469
00:19:43,851 --> 00:19:46,901
Okay, so you're not wearing the antidote
on a chain around your neck?
470
00:19:48,146 --> 00:19:49,816
Fuck you, Jazlyn.
471
00:19:49,815 --> 00:19:53,145
[straining, struggling]
472
00:19:53,151 --> 00:19:54,741
Contract fulfilled.
473
00:19:54,736 --> 00:19:56,736
Here's your giant pot of gold.
474
00:19:56,738 --> 00:19:59,368
This is it? It's so small.
475
00:19:59,366 --> 00:20:02,156
Well, it's giant to me,
you sizeist motherfucker!
476
00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:05,410
I bet there are giant people
somewhere who think you're small!
477
00:20:05,414 --> 00:20:07,424
Yeah. They're called giants.
478
00:20:07,416 --> 00:20:10,496
Ever consider that
they're the normal ones?
479
00:20:10,502 --> 00:20:13,172
So that would make you
extraextra tiny?
480
00:20:13,172 --> 00:20:15,882
Well, by the transitive property, sure.
Now, get out!
481
00:20:15,883 --> 00:20:17,513
I'm a defeated man.
482
00:20:17,509 --> 00:20:19,299
♪
483
00:20:19,303 --> 00:20:20,723
Whoa.
484
00:20:20,721 --> 00:20:22,891
[sparkling]
485
00:20:22,890 --> 00:20:24,390
What's all that?
486
00:20:24,391 --> 00:20:26,601
Ooh, those gems are bad luck!
487
00:20:26,602 --> 00:20:28,522
Negative four shamrocks,
488
00:20:28,520 --> 00:20:30,440
our lowest luck rating.
489
00:20:30,439 --> 00:20:31,979
Can I have some?
490
00:20:31,982 --> 00:20:33,822
No! What did I just tell you?
491
00:20:33,817 --> 00:20:36,197
They say doom befalls anyone
492
00:20:36,195 --> 00:20:38,985
who removes even one of these gems.
493
00:20:38,989 --> 00:20:41,329
♪ foreboding music ♪
494
00:20:41,325 --> 00:20:44,575
Well, I'll be on my way now!
But remember,
495
00:20:44,578 --> 00:20:46,578
don't touch the gems!
496
00:20:46,580 --> 00:20:48,080
Gems... gems... gems...
497
00:20:48,081 --> 00:20:50,251
Cursed! Cursed... cursed... cursed...
498
00:20:50,250 --> 00:20:52,130
Echo! Echo... echo... echo...
499
00:20:53,003 --> 00:20:55,513
[sighs] Well, kid, this gold should keep
500
00:20:55,506 --> 00:20:58,176
the rats off your face
until you screw up again.
501
00:20:58,175 --> 00:21:00,135
Thanks for everything, Sir Kutter.
502
00:21:00,135 --> 00:21:03,255
I didn't love you constantly
dragging me for being lame,
503
00:21:03,263 --> 00:21:05,773
but you're right.
Being a knight should be fun.
504
00:21:05,766 --> 00:21:08,476
I need to embrace the adventure
and the excitement.
505
00:21:08,477 --> 00:21:11,397
Get out there and fondue it, kid.
506
00:21:11,396 --> 00:21:13,476
I hope you're gonna
take that antidote now?
507
00:21:13,482 --> 00:21:16,652
[sighs] You know what?
I learned something from you, too.
508
00:21:16,652 --> 00:21:18,452
I'm not ready to hang it up yet.
509
00:21:18,445 --> 00:21:21,155
Maybe I'm a wild card
with a devilmaycare attitude,
510
00:21:21,156 --> 00:21:22,566
but also,
511
00:21:22,574 --> 00:21:25,834
maybe I'm clinically depressed about
my divorce and should seek treatment.
512
00:21:26,286 --> 00:21:28,576
[pop]
I shall live another day!
513
00:21:29,581 --> 00:21:33,041
Ah. The antidote was damaged
during the battle and is now empty.
514
00:21:33,043 --> 00:21:35,093
Oh no! What are you gonna do?
515
00:21:35,087 --> 00:21:38,007
We passed a drugstore on the way.
If I run at a solid sprint,
516
00:21:38,006 --> 00:21:39,836
I should make it there in time.
517
00:21:39,842 --> 00:21:41,892
One more thing. Could you float me $20?
I get paid Friday
518
00:21:41,885 --> 00:21:43,135
Ah!
519
00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:46,520
Holy shit! He fucking exploded!
520
00:21:46,515 --> 00:21:48,515
What was in that poison?!
521
00:21:49,393 --> 00:21:51,563
I gotta say, as deaths go,
522
00:21:51,562 --> 00:21:53,652
that was pretty wild card.
523
00:21:56,733 --> 00:21:59,283
♪ medieval music playing ♪
524
00:21:59,278 --> 00:22:00,898
Look what I found.
525
00:22:00,904 --> 00:22:03,284
[door shuts]
You wouldn't believe the hell
526
00:22:03,282 --> 00:22:05,622
I had to go through to get this.
That's it?
527
00:22:05,617 --> 00:22:07,657
That's the whole pot? Fetch the face rats.
528
00:22:07,661 --> 00:22:09,911
[gnawing, snarling]
529
00:22:09,913 --> 00:22:11,673
Wait wait! I also got you this.
530
00:22:11,665 --> 00:22:13,535
[clattering]
KING MERRIMAN: Ooglymoogly,
531
00:22:13,542 --> 00:22:16,712
Patrick. Way to bury the lead.
Where'd you find these?
532
00:22:16,712 --> 00:22:20,052
Oh, there's a whole cave filled
with them not too far from the castle,
533
00:22:20,048 --> 00:22:23,588
but I was warned to never touch them,
534
00:22:23,594 --> 00:22:25,514
touch them, touch them.
535
00:22:25,512 --> 00:22:27,472
Oh, we're gonna touch 'em, alright.
536
00:22:27,472 --> 00:22:29,142
Touch 'em like a bad uncle.
537
00:22:29,141 --> 00:22:31,771
You're the greatest squire ever,
for real this time.
538
00:22:31,768 --> 00:22:34,608
And someday, you're gonna
make one hell of a knight.
539
00:22:34,605 --> 00:22:36,515
Thank you, Your Majesty.
540
00:22:36,523 --> 00:22:38,443
Well, now that I'm rich again,
541
00:22:38,442 --> 00:22:41,242
I'm off to squander money
on something pointless.
542
00:22:41,236 --> 00:22:44,526
Not so fast, Your Majesty.
You got some, uh,
543
00:22:44,531 --> 00:22:46,331
unfinished business.
544
00:22:46,325 --> 00:22:48,785
CROWD: Butt chug! Butt chug!
[pouring]
545
00:22:48,785 --> 00:22:52,285
Oh! Ooh!
It's like pooping in reverse.
546
00:22:52,289 --> 00:22:54,709
Which is not as much fun as you'd think.
547
00:22:54,708 --> 00:22:56,668
CROWD: Butt chug!
KING MERRIMAN: Ooh!
548
00:22:56,668 --> 00:22:59,668
♪
549
00:23:29,701 --> 00:23:32,661
[8bit beeping]
550
00:23:32,663 --> 00:23:34,543
KID:
That was amazing.
551
00:23:34,540 --> 00:23:36,500
[paper crinkling, monkey hooting, slap]
552
00:23:36,550 --> 00:23:41,100
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