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1
00:01:39,699 --> 00:01:43,807
Egbert Souse?
Why, isn't that an odd name?
2
00:01:43,869 --> 00:01:47,877
lt isn't pronounced ''Souse.''
Accent grave over the ''e.''
3
00:01:47,940 --> 00:01:52,149
Egbert Sous�.
Oh, l see.
4
00:01:54,848 --> 00:01:56,918
[ Banging ]
5
00:01:56,984 --> 00:01:59,555
What's he up to now?
What is he up to?
6
00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:02,960
Your guess is as good
as mine, Ma. l never know
what to expect next.
7
00:02:03,024 --> 00:02:06,196
l bet anything he's smoking
up in his room again!
8
00:02:06,260 --> 00:02:09,767
This time, Agatha,
you've got to just
tell him to stop!
9
00:02:09,832 --> 00:02:12,671
His smokin'
gave me asthma.
Oh, Ma!
10
00:02:12,734 --> 00:02:16,875
lf he don't,
l'm going on the county.
Ma!
11
00:02:16,938 --> 00:02:20,111
lmagine a man tying to
take care of his family...
12
00:02:20,175 --> 00:02:24,717
by going to theater bank nights,
working puzzle contests
and suggesting slogans.
13
00:02:24,781 --> 00:02:27,786
[ Phone Ringing ]
Telephone's ringing!
14
00:02:27,851 --> 00:02:31,023
Don't answer it, Elsie Mae.
It's probably the LaCavas
wanting their lawn mower back.
15
00:02:31,086 --> 00:02:34,293
We're not
finished with it yet.
[ Ringing ]
16
00:02:34,356 --> 00:02:36,761
Hello, daughter.
Hello.
17
00:02:36,827 --> 00:02:38,764
Hello, Myrtle.
Hello.
18
00:02:38,829 --> 00:02:40,632
Hello.
Hello.
19
00:02:40,698 --> 00:02:44,237
Agatha, this time
you've just got to tell him!
20
00:02:44,300 --> 00:02:49,110
l just can't stand it!
It's just a lingering death.
21
00:02:49,172 --> 00:02:52,279
lf you don't,
l will go on the county!
22
00:02:52,343 --> 00:02:54,980
[ Sobbing ]
23
00:02:55,045 --> 00:02:57,382
What's eatin' you?
24
00:02:57,449 --> 00:03:01,756
My Sunday school teacher,
Mr. Stackhouse, told me...
25
00:03:01,820 --> 00:03:06,696
that he saw my father coming out
ofa saloon the other day...
26
00:03:06,758 --> 00:03:11,767
and that Dad
was smoking a pipe!
27
00:03:13,131 --> 00:03:15,502
Oh, l'll kill myself
28
00:03:15,567 --> 00:03:18,506
[ Mumbling ]
What's the matter with her?
29
00:03:18,570 --> 00:03:20,875
l'll starve myself to death.
30
00:03:20,939 --> 00:03:26,016
lt's the easiest way out.
It's not so difficult to do.
31
00:03:26,078 --> 00:03:30,052
l tried it
yesterday afternoon.
[Knocking]
32
00:03:30,116 --> 00:03:34,524
Oh, that must be Og.
Will you excuse me?
33
00:03:36,055 --> 00:03:39,295
- Nice potatoes.
- Thank you.
34
00:03:39,359 --> 00:03:41,529
Why don't we get
any more crumpets?
35
00:03:41,595 --> 00:03:45,202
[ Ma ]
Smoking and drinking!
36
00:03:45,265 --> 00:03:48,805
And reading those infernal
detective stories!
37
00:03:48,870 --> 00:03:51,542
House just smells
of liquor and smoke.
38
00:03:51,605 --> 00:03:53,609
There he goes again,
down to the saloon...
39
00:03:53,675 --> 00:03:57,081
to read that silly
detective magazine!
40
00:03:57,145 --> 00:04:00,885
Mother's right. You've been
smokin' again in your room.
41
00:04:00,950 --> 00:04:02,887
Oh!
42
00:04:05,520 --> 00:04:08,326
Aah!
[ Groaning ]
43
00:04:13,529 --> 00:04:18,907
lmagine the man who takes money
out of a child's piggy bank,
puts in l.O.U s.
44
00:04:20,737 --> 00:04:23,608
[ Screaming ]
Don't you dare
strike that child!
45
00:04:23,672 --> 00:04:25,575
You put that down!
Put it down!
46
00:04:25,642 --> 00:04:28,848
Uh, Og, l'd like you
to meet my father.
47
00:04:28,912 --> 00:04:32,219
Father, this is
Og Oggilby.
[ Chuckling ]
48
00:04:32,282 --> 00:04:34,251
Og Oggilby.
49
00:04:34,317 --> 00:04:38,024
Sounds like a bubble
in a bathtub.
50
00:04:38,088 --> 00:04:41,594
l'm glad
to have met ya!
Mighty glad
to have met you.
51
00:04:41,659 --> 00:04:44,866
Your father
seems awfully nice.
52
00:04:44,929 --> 00:04:47,869
Yes, we think so.
53
00:04:58,910 --> 00:05:02,149
What seems to be
the trouble?
54
00:05:04,016 --> 00:05:07,456
Are you carrying
the proper amount of air
in the tires?
55
00:05:07,519 --> 00:05:11,660
Uh, had the brakes
tested lately?
56
00:05:16,194 --> 00:05:18,599
Course, it may be
the wheelbase.
57
00:05:18,664 --> 00:05:21,436
[ Crashing ]
58
00:05:23,002 --> 00:05:26,377
Those are tools.
Why don't you go away
and mind your own business?
59
00:05:26,439 --> 00:05:28,977
Listen to the gentleman
attentively,James.
60
00:05:29,043 --> 00:05:32,817
Be polite.
[ Egbert ]
Thank you, madam.
61
00:05:32,879 --> 00:05:35,518
Give me a shift expander.
l'll fix it.
62
00:05:35,581 --> 00:05:37,519
A what?
Monkeywrench.
63
00:05:37,584 --> 00:05:41,592
Give the gentleman
what he asks for,James.
64
00:05:42,724 --> 00:05:45,562
Aah! Ohh!
65
00:05:50,031 --> 00:05:54,440
Here's all you gotta do.
Just open up this nut here.
66
00:05:55,503 --> 00:05:58,508
[ Grunting ]
67
00:05:58,573 --> 00:06:01,111
Uh-uh.
68
00:06:05,380 --> 00:06:07,317
## [ Whistling ]
69
00:06:07,383 --> 00:06:12,059
l was down to Cape Cod
most of... that year.
70
00:06:12,120 --> 00:06:16,930
Say, you'll have to either
Vaseline this place in here
or move the post over.
71
00:06:16,993 --> 00:06:22,002
l had half interest
in a cod-liver-oil mine
down in Cape Cod.
72
00:06:22,065 --> 00:06:24,335
Snowed all winter.
73
00:06:24,400 --> 00:06:26,738
We did a lot
of boondoggling.
74
00:06:26,803 --> 00:06:28,706
Did you ever
boondoggle,Joe?
75
00:06:28,772 --> 00:06:32,146
No, l can't say
that l have.
76
00:06:33,610 --> 00:06:35,547
These cloves
are pretty dy.
77
00:06:35,613 --> 00:06:38,718
Better sprinkle them
with alcohol.
78
00:06:42,252 --> 00:06:44,924
How do you do?
79
00:06:44,989 --> 00:06:49,131
Meet you up the Elk's Club
several weeks ago?
No.
80
00:06:49,193 --> 00:06:51,130
Never did, eh?
81
00:06:51,195 --> 00:06:53,666
Ever do any
boondoggling?
No.
82
00:06:53,731 --> 00:06:58,240
Give me a beer.
Never have, eh?
Mine's a poultice.
83
00:06:58,302 --> 00:07:02,911
Never done boondoggling.
Must've been another fellow,
l guess.
84
00:07:04,843 --> 00:07:08,317
Take off your hat
in the presence of a gentleman.
85
00:07:09,314 --> 00:07:13,088
Well, here she goes.
86
00:07:13,153 --> 00:07:15,224
Down the hatch.
87
00:07:30,137 --> 00:07:32,040
[ Burps, Coughs ]
88
00:07:32,505 --> 00:07:35,011
But l tell you
he's drunk, Q.Q.
89
00:07:35,075 --> 00:07:38,850
Said he had trouble
with his wife. Yes.
90
00:07:38,913 --> 00:07:42,487
We have tried,
but he isn't sober!
91
00:07:42,550 --> 00:07:44,488
The best l can?
92
00:07:44,553 --> 00:07:47,057
But you don't understand,
Q.Q.!
93
00:07:47,122 --> 00:07:50,462
Hello? Hello?
94
00:07:52,527 --> 00:07:54,430
The best l can!
95
00:07:54,495 --> 00:07:57,368
Um, gimme a--
Good morning.
96
00:07:57,432 --> 00:07:59,369
Good morning.
What can you give me
for shattered nerves?
97
00:07:59,434 --> 00:08:01,371
l've got the jitters.
98
00:08:01,436 --> 00:08:04,141
Joe, if the gentleman has
butterflies in his stomach,
99
00:08:04,207 --> 00:08:06,110
l suggest a dash of Rover.
100
00:08:06,176 --> 00:08:10,017
Rover?
Uh, dog, absinthe.
101
00:08:11,681 --> 00:08:14,386
lt's very good
for the nerves.
102
00:08:14,450 --> 00:08:17,055
That's fine.
Thank you.
103
00:08:17,120 --> 00:08:20,159
That's just what
l needed.
104
00:08:21,692 --> 00:08:23,662
My name's
Mackley Q. Greene.
105
00:08:23,727 --> 00:08:26,866
And a man more beset
by trouble you'll ever see.
Again.
106
00:08:26,930 --> 00:08:28,867
l'm here in Lompoc
on a movie location.
107
00:08:28,932 --> 00:08:32,372
My director started
on a bender, and that's
always good for ten days.
108
00:08:32,436 --> 00:08:34,840
We've got a 36-hour schedule
and a stinko script.
109
00:08:34,905 --> 00:08:38,412
lt's a bubke and
opens in this vey town
the day after tomorrow.
110
00:08:38,476 --> 00:08:42,550
Ah! Oh, you're yelling
right down my alley!
111
00:08:42,614 --> 00:08:46,488
ln the old
Sennett days l used
to direct Fatty Arbuckle,
112
00:08:46,551 --> 00:08:50,325
Charlie Chaplan,
Buster Keaton
and the rest of'em.
113
00:08:50,388 --> 00:08:54,028
l can't get the celluloid
outta my blood.
114
00:08:54,093 --> 00:08:57,299
Nights l used
to tend bar.
115
00:08:57,362 --> 00:09:00,969
Would you entertain
a proposition to
direct this picture?
116
00:09:01,034 --> 00:09:04,240
Um--
Take a chance on a percentage
of the profits basis?
117
00:09:04,303 --> 00:09:07,409
Um, um, yes.
Just a moment.
118
00:09:07,473 --> 00:09:12,784
Uh, was l in here last night,
and did l spend a $20 bill?
119
00:09:12,846 --> 00:09:15,151
Yeah!
120
00:09:15,215 --> 00:09:19,223
Oh, boy! What a load
that is off my mind!
121
00:09:19,287 --> 00:09:21,691
l thought l'd lost it.
122
00:09:21,755 --> 00:09:24,193
Here you are.
Keep the change.
123
00:09:24,258 --> 00:09:28,165
l've got a script l've had
in mothballs for 20 years.
124
00:09:28,229 --> 00:09:33,907
l read it to Irving and Milton
who run the Gem Cinema down here.
125
00:09:33,968 --> 00:09:36,940
They said to me,
they said, ''Sous�,
126
00:09:37,004 --> 00:09:39,542
it's better than
Gone With the Wind.''
127
00:09:39,607 --> 00:09:43,348
My car's outside.
Let's get down on the set.
Okay.
128
00:09:45,214 --> 00:09:47,985
Uh, l'll bring
the glasses back later.
129
00:09:50,552 --> 00:09:53,959
[ Indistinct Chattering ]
130
00:09:55,223 --> 00:09:58,563
Take a note, please.
131
00:09:58,627 --> 00:10:01,934
Oh, Mr. Clam, please.
It's good for you.
132
00:10:01,997 --> 00:10:06,272
Still can't do a thing
with him, Mr. Greene.
He's tight as a snare drum.
133
00:10:06,336 --> 00:10:09,676
We won't bother anymore
with him. Mr. Sous� will
take over the direction.
134
00:10:09,739 --> 00:10:12,946
Oh, fine. Glad to
meet you, Mr. Sous�.
Glad to know you.
135
00:10:13,010 --> 00:10:14,913
Must've been a gnat.
136
00:10:17,247 --> 00:10:19,284
Here comes Francois
and Miss Plupp.
137
00:10:28,525 --> 00:10:31,397
Oh, yeah.
138
00:10:31,462 --> 00:10:35,404
Ah. This is Miss Plupp,
l take it.
139
00:10:35,467 --> 00:10:39,106
Yeah. And you
are Francois?
140
00:10:39,170 --> 00:10:41,708
This is Mr. Sous�.
He's taking over the
direction of the picture.
141
00:10:41,773 --> 00:10:46,249
Did you sleep well
last night?
Oh, l--
142
00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:50,921
- Uh, maybe un peu?
- Comme ci, comme �a.
143
00:10:50,983 --> 00:10:56,027
l don't know whether
this part is suited to
my personality or not.
144
00:10:56,088 --> 00:10:59,728
Don't give it a thought.
l've changed eveything.
145
00:10:59,792 --> 00:11:03,466
lnstead of it being
an English drawing-room drama,
146
00:11:03,529 --> 00:11:05,466
l've made it
a circus picture.
147
00:11:05,532 --> 00:11:08,270
Dorothy, don't just sit there!
Take down eveything he says.
148
00:11:08,335 --> 00:11:10,473
Good morning,
Mr. Greene.
Aah!
149
00:11:10,536 --> 00:11:13,509
lt's Saturday afternoon.
150
00:11:13,572 --> 00:11:16,478
You make touchdown
after touchdown.
151
00:11:16,543 --> 00:11:19,749
You kick goals.
You make passes.
152
00:11:19,813 --> 00:11:24,924
You make the longest run
with the ball that was
ever made on the field.
153
00:11:24,985 --> 00:11:29,327
ln these clothes?
Um,
154
00:11:29,391 --> 00:11:31,361
you could change
your hat.
155
00:11:35,263 --> 00:11:39,305
Take it easy there.
That's all right, Mr. Clam.
Swell. Swell.
156
00:11:39,368 --> 00:11:42,607
Eveything's gonna be all right.
Just take--
157
00:11:42,670 --> 00:11:45,609
Uh, he sees you
in the $50 seats.
158
00:11:45,674 --> 00:11:48,112
He immediately
falls in love with ya.
159
00:11:48,178 --> 00:11:50,147
He can't take
his eyes off ya.
160
00:11:50,212 --> 00:11:52,617
How can he play base--
Foot.
161
00:11:52,681 --> 00:11:57,958
ball, and watch me
in the grandstand?
It's part of the plot.
162
00:11:58,021 --> 00:12:00,926
Attaboy!
163
00:12:03,826 --> 00:12:07,868
Lift him up.
That's swell.
Now you're doin' good.
164
00:12:07,932 --> 00:12:12,707
We're playin' the thing
very digni-- fied.
165
00:12:12,769 --> 00:12:15,708
Uh, service, please.
166
00:12:17,842 --> 00:12:20,414
- Come on, boys. Come on.
- Ahh!
167
00:12:21,679 --> 00:12:24,518
[ Car Horn Honking ]
168
00:12:29,753 --> 00:12:33,360
lt's him!
For the love
of Pete!
169
00:12:33,426 --> 00:12:35,462
Attention.
170
00:12:37,095 --> 00:12:39,232
Ah, we'll just walk
through this thing.
171
00:12:39,297 --> 00:12:43,239
Take it, Miss Plupp,
where you come down
out of the grandstand.
172
00:12:43,302 --> 00:12:45,239
He makes me sick!
173
00:12:45,303 --> 00:12:48,510
Shall l bounce a rock
off his head?
Respect your father.
174
00:12:48,573 --> 00:12:50,577
What kind
of a rock?
Oh, shut up!
175
00:12:50,642 --> 00:12:54,317
You're both madly
in love with each other.
176
00:12:54,381 --> 00:12:56,383
Embrace.
177
00:12:59,286 --> 00:13:02,726
ls she standing
in a hole?
No, sir.
178
00:13:02,789 --> 00:13:04,591
Go ahead.
Read your lines.
179
00:13:06,860 --> 00:13:09,698
When does this thing stop?
It's all right.
180
00:13:09,763 --> 00:13:11,934
You're doing all right.
181
00:13:11,999 --> 00:13:14,437
lce cream.
Got any cigars, kid?
You know the brand.
182
00:13:14,502 --> 00:13:17,006
We're making
motion-picture histoy here.
183
00:13:17,070 --> 00:13:20,777
l want quiet!
Quiet from eveybody!
184
00:13:20,841 --> 00:13:24,449
Ooh!
[ Groaning ]
185
00:13:24,512 --> 00:13:26,383
Pa is drunk again!
186
00:13:30,752 --> 00:13:33,089
Cut that out.
Take your dirty hands
off me!
187
00:13:33,155 --> 00:13:35,726
Get back to your places.
188
00:13:38,562 --> 00:13:40,531
Here.
189
00:13:40,595 --> 00:13:45,171
Give this, uh, that
number seven expression.
190
00:13:45,234 --> 00:13:47,872
''Those eyes!
Those ears!''
191
00:13:47,937 --> 00:13:50,208
l wanna be in the picture.
192
00:13:51,941 --> 00:13:54,613
Uh, l'll put you in
later on, dear.
193
00:13:54,677 --> 00:13:56,848
Uh,
''Give me all--''
194
00:13:56,912 --> 00:13:59,917
What's the matter, Pop?
Don't you love me?
195
00:13:59,983 --> 00:14:02,688
Sure, l love ya!
Don't you dare
strike that child.
196
00:14:02,752 --> 00:14:05,424
Ah, she's not gonna tell me
l don't love her.
197
00:14:05,489 --> 00:14:08,661
[ Egbert ] ''Those eyes.''
[ francois ]
Those eyes.
198
00:14:08,725 --> 00:14:11,497
Those ears!
199
00:14:11,562 --> 00:14:13,666
That nose!
200
00:14:13,730 --> 00:14:17,204
Oh, Godfrey Daniel!
201
00:14:17,268 --> 00:14:20,540
Mother-of-pearl!
202
00:14:20,606 --> 00:14:23,678
The child is only playing
with you, you fool.
203
00:14:23,741 --> 00:14:27,515
Mmm, l don't understand
her funning.
204
00:14:27,579 --> 00:14:29,550
Let's, uh--
205
00:14:32,683 --> 00:14:35,121
[ Egbert ]
Uh, now to continue.
206
00:14:35,187 --> 00:14:37,624
''Those eye--''
207
00:14:41,628 --> 00:14:44,500
## [Joe Whistling ]
Um, thanks.
208
00:14:44,564 --> 00:14:47,837
Oh, uh, study that script.
Say,Joe.
209
00:14:47,899 --> 00:14:52,376
Mr. Sous�! Mr. Sous�!
How do you like that?
210
00:14:52,438 --> 00:14:56,747
Mr. Greene, you haven't
another thing to worry about.
211
00:14:56,809 --> 00:15:01,351
l'm perfectly okay.
[ Hiccups ]
You look it.
212
00:15:02,983 --> 00:15:05,587
## [ Whistling ]
213
00:15:07,656 --> 00:15:10,795
Getting quite late.
It is,
isn't it?
214
00:15:10,858 --> 00:15:14,098
See you're
still at it.
Serves ya right.
215
00:15:14,161 --> 00:15:18,270
- Be courteous,James.
- Yes, ma'am.
216
00:15:24,139 --> 00:15:27,211
We'll leave
the motor running.
Come on.
217
00:15:35,818 --> 00:15:38,723
Pass over all that dough
and do it quietly.
218
00:15:38,788 --> 00:15:42,227
lmagine a guy parking his car
in front of a ''no parking'' sign
with the engine runnin'!
219
00:15:42,292 --> 00:15:45,698
A two buck fine'll
do him a lot of good.
Let's take it to headquarters.
220
00:15:46,996 --> 00:15:50,470
Don't forget to keep your foot
off that alarm.
221
00:15:53,270 --> 00:15:56,442
Somebody must've nailed the car.
Let's take it on the lam.
222
00:15:58,041 --> 00:16:01,714
[Alarm Ringing ]
Help! Help!
Police! Help!
223
00:16:01,778 --> 00:16:03,781
Help! Police!
Robbery!
Help!
224
00:16:03,847 --> 00:16:05,817
Come on! Help!
Police! Help!
225
00:16:05,883 --> 00:16:09,556
Help! Help!
Police!
Robbey!
226
00:16:09,620 --> 00:16:12,092
Did you see them?
They went down
that alley.
227
00:16:12,156 --> 00:16:14,159
Let's cut that money up
right now.
Let's keep goin'.
228
00:16:14,225 --> 00:16:16,163
Supposin' we get
split up?
What of it?
229
00:16:16,227 --> 00:16:18,632
How much money you got?
Start countin'.
No.
230
00:16:18,697 --> 00:16:21,936
Don't you trust me?
l don't trust nobody,
not even my mother.
231
00:16:21,999 --> 00:16:25,239
Give me my end of that.
Turn loose of me, will ya?
232
00:16:26,538 --> 00:16:29,845
Bank robbers, two of'em!
They went down this alley.
233
00:16:33,580 --> 00:16:37,654
''Out to tea.Joe.''
He'll be drinkin'
sarsaparilla next.
234
00:16:39,952 --> 00:16:42,758
Gimme half of
that dough.
l will not!
235
00:16:47,927 --> 00:16:50,999
[ Siren Wailing ]
236
00:16:51,064 --> 00:16:55,673
[ Honking ]
237
00:16:55,736 --> 00:16:58,541
Must be another hold up
somewhere nears.
238
00:16:58,606 --> 00:17:01,177
[ Honking Continues ]
239
00:17:14,523 --> 00:17:16,493
There they are!
240
00:17:17,992 --> 00:17:20,798
Grab him while
l put these on.
That's not one of the crooks.
241
00:17:20,862 --> 00:17:25,570
That's Mr. Sous�.
Yeah, Sous�.
Accent grave over the ''e.''
242
00:17:25,635 --> 00:17:28,239
Fine job, Mr. Sous�,
apprehending this desperado...
243
00:17:28,303 --> 00:17:31,076
and retrieving
the bank's funds.
What?
244
00:17:31,140 --> 00:17:34,079
You saved the $50,OOO.
That's the most important part!
245
00:17:34,143 --> 00:17:36,447
Yeah, 50,OOO
ain't hay, no.
246
00:17:36,512 --> 00:17:40,254
Those fellows got away, huh?
What happened?
Uh, yes.
247
00:17:40,316 --> 00:17:43,755
Yes, he got away.
Pulled a knife on me that long!
248
00:17:43,821 --> 00:17:46,058
An assegai.
[ Policeman ] Lucky you
had that revolver.
249
00:17:46,122 --> 00:17:49,161
You always carry it
with you?
Ooh, take this.
250
00:17:49,226 --> 00:17:51,863
We detectives
gotta do those things.
251
00:17:51,929 --> 00:17:54,500
Never know when you're gonna
catch a couple bank robbers.
252
00:17:54,565 --> 00:17:58,205
l know Mr. Skinner would like
to thank you personally after
what's just happened.
253
00:17:58,268 --> 00:18:01,608
Drop into the bank.
l will. l'll go down
and tell him all about it.
254
00:18:01,672 --> 00:18:04,879
Which way did the
other fellow go?
The other fellow?
255
00:18:04,943 --> 00:18:07,647
He went away.
Away where?
256
00:18:07,712 --> 00:18:09,682
Look out!
Look out there!
257
00:18:09,747 --> 00:18:13,053
l'll give 'im
a punch in the nose.
258
00:18:13,117 --> 00:18:15,387
See those handcuffs
are on tight, will ya?
259
00:18:15,453 --> 00:18:18,158
Come to headquarters
and identify this guy.
Okay.
260
00:18:18,223 --> 00:18:20,161
l'll break evey bone
in his head.
261
00:18:20,226 --> 00:18:25,268
Myrtle should be proud
to have a father like you.
l guess she is.
262
00:18:25,331 --> 00:18:28,336
No wonder after
a thing like that.
263
00:18:29,602 --> 00:18:32,207
Elsie Mae Adele
Brunch Sous�'s father...
264
00:18:32,271 --> 00:18:36,981
just caught a burglar,
and he tried to cut his throat
with a knife this long!
265
00:18:37,042 --> 00:18:39,045
Yeah.
266
00:18:39,111 --> 00:18:41,749
[ Boy ]
And he had a gun
about this big!
267
00:18:41,815 --> 00:18:45,622
You don't say!
Did you kill him with
one bullet, Mr. Sous�?
268
00:18:45,686 --> 00:18:48,457
Mm-hmm.
Ooh.
269
00:18:48,521 --> 00:18:52,196
Jiminy.
You're pretty good.
Jiminy! Boy!
270
00:18:52,259 --> 00:18:55,132
One or two bullets
l don't know.
l was so busy shooting him.
271
00:18:55,196 --> 00:18:57,833
- That's the way
l catch burglars.
- Do another.
272
00:18:57,900 --> 00:19:00,504
Oh, boy! Ooh!
273
00:19:00,569 --> 00:19:03,240
Will you teach me?
That's swell.
274
00:19:03,304 --> 00:19:05,241
l'll teach you
when you grow up.
275
00:19:05,306 --> 00:19:08,846
l never smoked a cigarette
till l was nine.
276
00:19:13,315 --> 00:19:16,320
Sign my autograph book,
Mr. Souse?
Ah, Sous�, son.
277
00:19:16,385 --> 00:19:21,194
Accent grave over the ''e.''
Sous�. There's the accent.
278
00:19:21,256 --> 00:19:23,259
l saw ya through
the window.
Did ya?
279
00:19:23,325 --> 00:19:26,564
A knife four feet long,
eh?
l'll say!
280
00:19:26,629 --> 00:19:31,538
The sword Lee surrendered
to Grant was a potato peeler
by comparison.
281
00:19:31,601 --> 00:19:34,172
You better come in
and have a little poultice
on the house.
282
00:19:34,237 --> 00:19:36,341
l don't mind if l do.
283
00:19:40,844 --> 00:19:43,415
[ Reporter ]
Mr. Sous�?
Yeah?
284
00:19:43,480 --> 00:19:46,819
Here's the interview you gave me
for my paper. Look it over
and see if it's correct.
285
00:19:46,884 --> 00:19:51,493
Oh, thanks.
l'll peruse it instanta
286
00:19:51,555 --> 00:19:54,360
Oh, yes. ''Skinner's
National Bank robbed.
287
00:19:54,425 --> 00:19:57,965
''Egbert Sous� makes
daring and heroic effort--
288
00:19:58,028 --> 00:20:00,700
- [ Car Horn Honking ]
- Hey, you!
289
00:20:00,765 --> 00:20:05,875
''...of Loudmouth McNasty,
alias the Wildcat.
290
00:20:05,937 --> 00:20:11,683
''Drawing his revolver,
which he carries
for such emergencies,
291
00:20:11,744 --> 00:20:14,348
he struck McNasty--''
292
00:20:14,413 --> 00:20:20,057
[ Coughs ] You see, putting
things like that on motor cars
is what kills people.
293
00:20:20,119 --> 00:20:23,391
- [ Honks ]
- Get outta there!
294
00:20:23,456 --> 00:20:25,660
''For such emergencies--''
295
00:20:41,908 --> 00:20:44,546
The Lompoc Picayune Intelligencer...
296
00:20:44,611 --> 00:20:49,153
just got out a special edition
telling how l apprehended
them two crooks.
297
00:20:49,216 --> 00:20:52,856
For heaven's sake, Egbert,
can't you see we're playin'
an interesting game?
298
00:20:52,920 --> 00:20:58,231
There was an article in there
telling how l apprehended
a couple of crooks...
299
00:20:58,291 --> 00:21:03,268
who stole $2 million
from Skinner's Lompoc Bank.
300
00:21:03,331 --> 00:21:06,336
You would!
Skinner's Lompoc Bank!
301
00:21:06,401 --> 00:21:09,340
Them's the shylocks
that's got the mortgage
on this house, ain't they?
302
00:21:09,404 --> 00:21:12,878
They're haunting you
from morning till night,
the old pinchpennies!
303
00:21:12,941 --> 00:21:16,715
Why don't you move--
l'm sorry they didn't
get away with the bank.
304
00:21:16,780 --> 00:21:19,317
Leave it to him!
He would do
a thing like that!
305
00:21:19,381 --> 00:21:23,255
Um, l think l'll go
up to my room for a moment.
306
00:21:23,319 --> 00:21:28,162
They want me to come down
to the bank to get a reward,
or a job or something.
307
00:21:28,224 --> 00:21:30,361
l'll go down in the morning.
308
00:21:31,628 --> 00:21:33,698
Don't you smoke
up in your room.
309
00:21:33,763 --> 00:21:36,135
Oh, no,
l won't, dear.
310
00:21:39,135 --> 00:21:41,540
What am l doing?
311
00:21:44,475 --> 00:21:46,412
Hello, Og.
Hello, honey.
312
00:21:46,477 --> 00:21:48,948
That was a great stunt
your father pulled.
Huh?
313
00:21:49,013 --> 00:21:53,723
Two crooks stole $25,OOO.
l never knew your father had
so much intestinal fortitude.
314
00:21:53,785 --> 00:21:55,722
Are you kidding?
No!
315
00:21:55,786 --> 00:21:58,258
Come on.
Let's talk about us, dear.
316
00:21:58,323 --> 00:22:02,431
Your father took his pistol and hit
one of the fellows over the head.
He hasn't got a pistol.
317
00:22:02,494 --> 00:22:06,802
The paper said your father
took a double-edged assegai
from one of the fellas.
318
00:22:06,865 --> 00:22:08,802
A whats-agai?
An assegai, a sword.
319
00:22:08,868 --> 00:22:11,472
Where did the newspapers
get the stoy?
From your father.
320
00:22:11,536 --> 00:22:14,074
He admitted the whole thing
to the police.
Oh!
321
00:22:14,139 --> 00:22:16,644
Let's talk about us,
Og.
322
00:22:18,210 --> 00:22:21,450
Well, l get my bonus
pretty soon,
323
00:22:21,514 --> 00:22:23,985
and l've already picked out
your engagement ring.
324
00:22:24,051 --> 00:22:27,791
Oh. Ah, Oggie.
325
00:22:29,288 --> 00:22:32,928
Ah! Oh, golly. Mmm.
326
00:22:36,462 --> 00:22:38,399
Shucks.
327
00:22:42,569 --> 00:22:44,941
l have an appointment
with Mr. Skinner,
president of the bank.
328
00:22:45,006 --> 00:22:48,178
Step to one side,
please.
Yes. Thank you.
329
00:22:49,711 --> 00:22:52,182
Thank you,
Miss Carroll.
330
00:22:52,246 --> 00:22:57,857
l had an appointment
with Mr. Skinner, the--
Please, just one side.
331
00:22:59,287 --> 00:23:01,691
Oh.
332
00:23:01,757 --> 00:23:04,562
Here, sir.
There you are.
333
00:23:04,627 --> 00:23:08,401
l, uh-- The president--
Please, will you
step to one side.
334
00:23:08,463 --> 00:23:11,069
Just a moment.
335
00:23:11,133 --> 00:23:13,638
Nice weather
we're having.
Yes, it is.
336
00:23:13,703 --> 00:23:15,640
Yes.
Clever observation.
337
00:23:15,704 --> 00:23:18,209
How have you been,
Mr. Penny?
Fine, thank you.
338
00:23:18,274 --> 00:23:20,479
That's good.
That's vey interesting.
339
00:23:20,544 --> 00:23:22,481
Uh, l--
340
00:23:23,480 --> 00:23:25,417
Oh.
341
00:23:30,687 --> 00:23:32,758
How do you do?
Oh, yeah.
342
00:23:32,822 --> 00:23:34,860
How do you do?
Oh, how are you,
sir?
343
00:23:34,926 --> 00:23:39,301
Well as can be expected
after that tussle l put up
with those two bandits.
344
00:23:39,362 --> 00:23:42,235
Oh, yes.
Yeah, l went
to see the doctor,
345
00:23:42,300 --> 00:23:45,740
and he says
as result of that scrap,
l'll probably have to have...
346
00:23:45,803 --> 00:23:49,443
a kidney and my
gall bladder removed.
Tsk, tsk.
347
00:23:49,508 --> 00:23:53,481
He said l also may need
an appendectomy.
348
00:23:53,544 --> 00:23:56,116
l saw young Oggilby.
He told me to see the president.
349
00:23:56,181 --> 00:23:58,719
Oh, yes. Will you
step aside, please.
Huh?
350
00:23:58,784 --> 00:24:00,821
Just step to one side.
351
00:24:00,886 --> 00:24:03,023
Ahh!
Thank you.
352
00:24:03,089 --> 00:24:05,026
Good mornin', sir.
How are you?
353
00:24:05,091 --> 00:24:07,127
l wanna draw my money
outta the bank.
354
00:24:07,193 --> 00:24:10,667
- You're not gonna close your
account with us, are you?
- l sure is!
355
00:24:10,730 --> 00:24:14,436
- Is there any particular reason?
- Yes, sir. l'm scared!
356
00:24:14,500 --> 00:24:17,706
Evey time l come in here,
you got your hat on.
357
00:24:17,770 --> 00:24:21,344
Look like you
gettin' ready to take off.
It keeps me nervous.
358
00:24:21,407 --> 00:24:25,248
Oh, l just wear this hat
on account of
a little hay fever.
359
00:24:26,680 --> 00:24:28,884
Excuse me.
That's all right.
360
00:24:28,949 --> 00:24:31,754
l haven't any right
standing in front of the hole.
361
00:24:31,819 --> 00:24:34,591
Where's his office?
Is he in?
Oh, no, oh--
362
00:24:34,655 --> 00:24:37,360
Mr. Skinner's office
is right over there.
Yes, right over there.
363
00:24:38,826 --> 00:24:41,398
Good morning,
Mr. Sous�.
Good morning.
Good morning.
364
00:24:41,462 --> 00:24:45,570
Mr. Skinner's expecting you.
Is he? Thanks vey much.
l'll go right in.
365
00:24:45,633 --> 00:24:50,377
We want to show our appreciation
of your gallanty and daring.
Thank you.
366
00:24:50,438 --> 00:24:53,977
l wish to personally
give you a hearty handclasp.
367
00:24:54,042 --> 00:24:57,482
Oh, thanks.
Hearty handclasp, yes.
368
00:24:57,545 --> 00:25:00,885
And to present you with
the company's compliments...
369
00:25:00,950 --> 00:25:03,889
one of our
1 940 calendars
370
00:25:03,953 --> 00:25:06,058
made especially
for this bank,
371
00:25:06,122 --> 00:25:09,529
entitled
''Spring in Lompoc.''
372
00:25:09,592 --> 00:25:14,401
Oh! Doesn't look
unlike the Mona Lisa.
373
00:25:14,463 --> 00:25:16,533
- Won't you be seated?
- Oh, thanks.
374
00:25:16,600 --> 00:25:19,706
l've been in consultation with
our director and we've decided
that what's been needed...
375
00:25:19,769 --> 00:25:23,177
in this bank for a long time
is a special officer.
Oh,yes.
376
00:25:23,240 --> 00:25:27,381
Or to revert to the argot of
the underworld, a ''bank dick.''
Oh, yeah.
377
00:25:27,444 --> 00:25:30,984
ln lieu of your heroism,
your valiant dauntless courage,
378
00:25:31,049 --> 00:25:33,988
l have the honor
to offer you this position.
Oh, thank you.
379
00:25:34,052 --> 00:25:36,123
The remuneration at first
will be small.
380
00:25:36,187 --> 00:25:38,959
We're a growing concern.
We're young.
Yes, yes.
381
00:25:39,023 --> 00:25:41,862
But there are many
chances for advancement.
Who knows?
382
00:25:41,926 --> 00:25:45,533
Within a short time, you may
become my vice president.
383
00:25:45,596 --> 00:25:48,101
Oh!
My first and only vice.
384
00:25:49,301 --> 00:25:51,838
Very good, very--
385
00:25:51,904 --> 00:25:55,111
What time in the morning?
The bank opens at 1 O:OO.
386
00:25:55,174 --> 00:25:57,345
Oh. Well, that's all right.
387
00:25:57,409 --> 00:26:02,919
lf l'm not here on time,
just go right ahead without me.
l'll catch up with ya.
388
00:26:02,982 --> 00:26:06,588
And, oh, yes. We will deduct
a certain amount from
your salay each week...
389
00:26:06,652 --> 00:26:09,724
Uh-oh.
to pay off the interest
of the mortgage on your home.
390
00:26:09,789 --> 00:26:12,561
Yes, yes.
Otherwise it would
necessitate our foreclosing.
391
00:26:12,625 --> 00:26:16,899
ln view of what has transpired,
that would cause us
heartfelt contrition.
392
00:26:16,963 --> 00:26:20,737
Ah, you took the very words
right outta my mouth.
393
00:26:21,935 --> 00:26:23,772
l'll see you here
Monday then,
394
00:26:23,837 --> 00:26:28,446
and l'll bring my
detective disguises with me.
395
00:26:29,710 --> 00:26:31,647
Oh.
396
00:26:35,950 --> 00:26:38,388
Og. Listen, Og,
397
00:26:38,452 --> 00:26:41,724
there's more to this
detective business
than meets the eye.
398
00:26:41,790 --> 00:26:44,829
lt requires cunning
and resourcefulness,
399
00:26:44,893 --> 00:26:47,097
and l have both.
400
00:26:47,162 --> 00:26:50,401
l have a thousand disguises
at home.
401
00:26:50,465 --> 00:26:55,341
l'll come in with one
of those disguises on.
If you recognize me,you go--
402
00:26:57,840 --> 00:27:01,781
Like this?
Not up high. It's too blatant.
Go down there.
403
00:27:01,843 --> 00:27:03,914
Just give me a little one,
like that.
404
00:27:03,980 --> 00:27:07,287
lf you don't recognize me,
go, uh--
405
00:27:07,351 --> 00:27:10,825
Well, if you don't recognize me,
you won't know what to do.
406
00:27:10,888 --> 00:27:13,626
And you won't recognize me.
407
00:27:13,689 --> 00:27:16,929
Now, l'll be in here later.
408
00:27:39,951 --> 00:27:42,623
You gotta keep in practice
in this game.
409
00:27:42,687 --> 00:27:44,690
You never know when
you're gonna...
410
00:27:46,225 --> 00:27:48,563
have to use your gun.
411
00:27:48,626 --> 00:27:51,566
l really have a reason
for a snort this morning.
412
00:27:51,630 --> 00:27:55,304
After that bout l put up
with those two crooks
413
00:27:55,368 --> 00:27:58,073
l'm still arm weary.
414
00:27:58,137 --> 00:28:02,379
The president of the bank
called me in.
He says, ''Sous�.''
415
00:28:02,442 --> 00:28:04,646
l says, ''Yes.''
416
00:28:04,710 --> 00:28:07,883
He says,
''l want you down here
for our bank dick.
417
00:28:07,948 --> 00:28:10,253
We've wanted a bank dick
fora long while.''
418
00:28:10,317 --> 00:28:12,989
He says,
''ln your Christmas box...
419
00:28:13,053 --> 00:28:16,660
will, in all probability,
be the vice presidency ofthis bank.''
420
00:28:16,723 --> 00:28:18,994
[Ioe ]
What'll it be?
421
00:28:19,059 --> 00:28:21,965
A depth bomb.
422
00:28:24,831 --> 00:28:27,637
## [ Humming ]
423
00:28:29,837 --> 00:28:32,375
Keep your hat off there.
424
00:28:42,317 --> 00:28:45,756
## [ Whistling ]
425
00:28:50,659 --> 00:28:52,930
Very tasty. l think
l'll have another one.
426
00:28:52,995 --> 00:28:55,534
## [ Humming ]
427
00:28:55,598 --> 00:28:58,669
Um, some fresh water.
428
00:29:02,906 --> 00:29:05,543
And a towel, thankyou.
429
00:29:05,608 --> 00:29:09,314
Never like to bathe
in the same water twice.
430
00:29:10,680 --> 00:29:13,820
Neat little trick,
isn't it?
431
00:29:13,883 --> 00:29:17,658
Pardon me.
l couldn't help overhearing
your conversation.
432
00:29:17,720 --> 00:29:21,561
Oh, pardon me.
Pardon me.
It's quite all right.
433
00:29:21,625 --> 00:29:24,229
Waterbuy's my name.
J. Frothingham Waterbuy.
434
00:29:24,296 --> 00:29:27,435
Thank you.
Very glad to know you.
My name's Sous�.
435
00:29:27,499 --> 00:29:30,071
How do you do, Mr. Sous�?
Accent the grave
over the ''e.''
436
00:29:30,135 --> 00:29:33,741
Oh, so? l'm in the bond
and stock business.
Oh,yeah.
437
00:29:33,805 --> 00:29:36,644
l have 5,OOO shares
of the Beefsteak Mines
in Leapfrog, Nevada...
438
00:29:36,708 --> 00:29:38,812
that l want to
turn over to your bank.
Yeah?
439
00:29:38,877 --> 00:29:43,019
l like this town.
l want to get some contacts,
and l think you're the man.
440
00:29:43,082 --> 00:29:46,889
These shares are selling
for ten cents a share, and, uh--
441
00:29:46,953 --> 00:29:49,992
[ Squealing ]
442
00:29:52,757 --> 00:29:55,630
Ten cents cash?
That's okay.
Oh, that's terrible!
443
00:29:55,695 --> 00:29:58,466
These shares are selling
for ten cents a share.
Yeah?
444
00:29:58,532 --> 00:30:01,537
A telephone company once sold
for five cents a share!
Five cents!
445
00:30:01,602 --> 00:30:05,776
These shares are
twice as expensive; therefore,
they'll be twice as valuable.
446
00:30:05,839 --> 00:30:08,376
Sure they will.
Oh, no.
Naturally,
you're no dunce.
447
00:30:08,442 --> 00:30:12,283
The telephone is now listed
at $1 .73, and you can't buy it.
448
00:30:12,347 --> 00:30:17,758
$1 .73.
$3,460 for evey nickel
you put into it.
449
00:30:17,819 --> 00:30:21,158
The point l'm trying
to make is this.
450
00:30:21,222 --> 00:30:23,392
Huh?
The point l'm trying
to make is:
451
00:30:23,459 --> 00:30:26,865
These shares sell for ten cents.
It's simple arithmetic.
452
00:30:26,928 --> 00:30:30,034
If five'll get you ten,
ten'll get you twenty.
Sure.
453
00:30:30,098 --> 00:30:35,476
Sixteen-cylinder cars.
A big home in the city,
balconies upstairs and down.
454
00:30:35,537 --> 00:30:38,809
A home in the country,
big trees, private golf course,
455
00:30:38,873 --> 00:30:41,111
stream running through
the rear of the estate.
456
00:30:41,176 --> 00:30:44,482
Warm Sunday afternoon
fishing under the cool trees,
457
00:30:44,546 --> 00:30:47,218
sipping ice-cold beer.
458
00:30:47,282 --> 00:30:49,620
l can almost see the foam.
Yeah.
459
00:30:49,685 --> 00:30:52,323
Ham and cheese on ye.
With mustard.
460
00:30:52,389 --> 00:30:55,194
Yeah.
We have plenty of mustard
at the house. Yeah.
461
00:30:55,258 --> 00:30:59,432
Then this guy comes up
the shady drive in an
armored car from the bank,
462
00:30:59,496 --> 00:31:03,905
and he dumps a whole basket
of coupons worth hundreds
of thousands of dollars...
463
00:31:03,967 --> 00:31:06,004
Yeah?
right in your lap.
464
00:31:06,070 --> 00:31:09,275
And he says, ''Sign here, please,
on the dotted line.''
465
00:31:09,340 --> 00:31:11,510
l'll have a fountain pen
by that time.
Yes.
466
00:31:11,575 --> 00:31:13,713
Then he's off to
the soft chirping...
467
00:31:13,778 --> 00:31:16,750
of our feathered friends
in the arboreal dell.
Oh.
468
00:31:16,814 --> 00:31:19,518
That's what
these bonds mean!
They do, eh?
469
00:31:19,583 --> 00:31:24,293
l'd rather part with my dear
grandmother's paisley shawl
or her wedding ring...
470
00:31:24,356 --> 00:31:30,134
than to part with these bonds.
Yeah, it must be tough
to lose a paisley shawl.
471
00:31:30,195 --> 00:31:32,667
Thank you.
472
00:31:32,731 --> 00:31:34,868
Gosh! Oh,
pardon my language.
473
00:31:34,933 --> 00:31:38,607
lt's all right.
l swear sometimes myself.
l feel like a dog.
474
00:31:38,671 --> 00:31:41,275
But, it's now or never.
It must be done.
475
00:31:41,340 --> 00:31:44,312
So take it or leave it.
l'll take it.
476
00:31:44,377 --> 00:31:47,951
Fine! Fine. Fine.
477
00:31:48,014 --> 00:31:50,886
Meet me down at the bank
in about an hour.
Why, certainly!
478
00:31:50,950 --> 00:31:54,357
My card.
Oh, thanks.
479
00:32:04,465 --> 00:32:09,309
Boy, l got you set for life.
l don't hang around that
Black Pussy Cafe for nothing.
480
00:32:09,369 --> 00:32:11,339
l met a fellow
who's in trouble.
481
00:32:11,405 --> 00:32:13,977
Something the matter
with his grandmother's
paisley shawl.
482
00:32:14,041 --> 00:32:17,481
He has 5,OOO shares in
the Beefsteak Mine,
483
00:32:17,545 --> 00:32:20,317
and you can buy them
for a handful of hay.
484
00:32:20,382 --> 00:32:22,351
Hay? And they're worth--
485
00:32:22,417 --> 00:32:26,993
Ten cents a share.
Telephone sold for
five cents a share.
486
00:32:27,055 --> 00:32:30,462
How would you like
something better for
ten cents a share?
487
00:32:30,526 --> 00:32:33,798
If five gets you ten,
ten'll get you twenty.
488
00:32:33,862 --> 00:32:38,004
Beautiful home
in the county,
upstairs and down.
489
00:32:38,067 --> 00:32:43,545
Beer flowing through
the estate over your
grandmother's paisley shawl.
490
00:32:43,607 --> 00:32:46,512
Beer?
Beer!
491
00:32:46,576 --> 00:32:52,421
fishing in the stream that
runs under the arboreal dell.
492
00:32:52,482 --> 00:32:55,588
A man comes up from the bar,
493
00:32:55,653 --> 00:33:01,530
dumps $3,500 in your lap
for evey nickel invested.
494
00:33:01,591 --> 00:33:05,933
Says to you, ''Sign here
on the dotted line;'
495
00:33:05,997 --> 00:33:10,538
and then disappears in
the waving fields of alfalfa.
496
00:33:10,602 --> 00:33:13,908
Gosh! Do you think
he was telling the truth?
497
00:33:13,971 --> 00:33:17,411
You don't think a man would
resort to taradiddle, do you?
498
00:33:17,476 --> 00:33:23,087
Why, he sounded like a child
at the vey thought of
disposing of these shares.
499
00:33:23,148 --> 00:33:25,184
How does the bank
make its money?
500
00:33:25,250 --> 00:33:27,019
By investing.
That's the point.
501
00:33:27,084 --> 00:33:29,522
You don't want
to work all your life.
502
00:33:29,589 --> 00:33:33,228
Take a chance.
Take it while you're young.
503
00:33:33,292 --> 00:33:36,164
My uncle,
a balloon ascensionist,
504
00:33:36,228 --> 00:33:39,702
Effingham Hoffnagle,
took a chance.
505
00:33:39,766 --> 00:33:42,638
He was three miles and a half
up in the air.
506
00:33:42,702 --> 00:33:45,240
He jumped out of
the basket of the balloon...
507
00:33:45,305 --> 00:33:48,645
and took a chance of
lighting on a load of hay.
508
00:33:48,709 --> 00:33:51,915
Golly!
Did he make it?
H m m.
509
00:33:51,978 --> 00:33:56,955
- Uh, no, he didn't.
- Oh.
510
00:33:57,017 --> 00:34:00,824
Had he been a younger man,
he probably would have made it.
511
00:34:00,888 --> 00:34:05,529
That's the point.
Don't wait too long in life.
512
00:34:09,764 --> 00:34:12,368
l've never done
anything like this.
513
00:34:12,434 --> 00:34:16,308
And another thing,
l haven't got the money.
514
00:34:16,371 --> 00:34:21,079
Of course, my bonus comes due
in four days. That's $500.
l could buy 'em then.
515
00:34:21,142 --> 00:34:24,983
Then with all that money,
l really might be worthy
of your daughter's hand.
516
00:34:25,046 --> 00:34:28,186
Women really appreciate
the fine things in life.
517
00:34:28,251 --> 00:34:32,892
You don't wanna die and leave
your wife and children paupers,
do you?
No.
518
00:34:32,954 --> 00:34:35,794
Borrow the $500
from the bank.
519
00:34:35,859 --> 00:34:39,299
You intend to pay it back
when your bonus comes due,
don't ya?
520
00:34:39,362 --> 00:34:42,268
Oh, sure.
Surely!
Don't be a luddy-duddy.
521
00:34:42,332 --> 00:34:44,569
Don't be a moon calf.
522
00:34:44,635 --> 00:34:48,676
Don't be a jabbernowl.
You're not those, are you?
No.
523
00:34:48,739 --> 00:34:52,313
l guess there's no way
you could confuse it
with stealing, is there?
524
00:34:52,376 --> 00:34:55,181
Ha! Nothing could be
more absurd!
525
00:34:55,245 --> 00:34:57,248
Well, all right.
Send him in.
526
00:34:57,314 --> 00:35:00,587
He won't be here
till 11 :OO.
527
00:35:13,431 --> 00:35:17,306
Got him! Back! Back!
Oh, what do you mean?
528
00:35:17,369 --> 00:35:19,573
The idea!
Is that gun loaded?
529
00:35:19,638 --> 00:35:22,844
Certainly not,
but l think you are.
530
00:35:22,908 --> 00:35:26,615
Mommy, doesn't that man
have a funny nose?
531
00:35:26,679 --> 00:35:28,717
You mustn't make fun
of the gentleman, Clifford.
532
00:35:28,782 --> 00:35:32,890
You'd like to have a nose
like that full of nickels,
wouldn't you?
533
00:35:32,953 --> 00:35:36,627
l'll throw him in
the wastepaper basket
next time he comes in here.
534
00:36:02,783 --> 00:36:04,720
How do you do?
How do you do?
535
00:36:04,786 --> 00:36:06,756
l'm the officer.
Can l help you?
536
00:36:06,822 --> 00:36:08,892
l'd like to see
Mr. Skinner, please.
537
00:36:08,957 --> 00:36:13,131
Yes, he'll be vey glad
to see you, l'm sure.
538
00:36:13,195 --> 00:36:15,365
Very glad.
539
00:36:15,430 --> 00:36:18,769
J. Pinkerton Snoopington,
bank examiner.
540
00:36:18,834 --> 00:36:21,039
Is that right?
Yes.
541
00:36:21,103 --> 00:36:23,842
He'll be very glad
to see you, but, um,
542
00:36:23,906 --> 00:36:26,578
he's gone out to
the golf course on business...
543
00:36:26,642 --> 00:36:28,979
and probably won't
be back till midnight.
544
00:36:29,044 --> 00:36:31,115
If he does return,
where can he call you?
545
00:36:31,180 --> 00:36:33,919
I'm stopping at the New Old
Lompoc House on the avenue.
546
00:36:33,983 --> 00:36:36,188
Oh, New Old Lompoc House!
Yes, yes.
547
00:36:36,252 --> 00:36:39,391
Frank Cridellhoffer,
the management.
l know him well.
548
00:36:39,456 --> 00:36:41,726
You do?
If you need anything
during the night,
549
00:36:41,792 --> 00:36:44,397
just mention my name.
Yes, l will.
550
00:36:44,461 --> 00:36:46,464
That's fine, yes.
551
00:36:50,701 --> 00:36:52,638
Got some bad news for ya.
552
00:36:52,703 --> 00:36:55,810
Can you take it now,
or shall l hold it off
a little longer?
553
00:36:55,874 --> 00:36:58,846
That was the bank examiner,
wasn't it?
554
00:36:58,910 --> 00:37:01,080
You guessed it
the first time.
Ooh.
555
00:37:01,145 --> 00:37:04,720
l knew this would happen.
l was a perfect idiot
to ever listen to you.
556
00:37:06,818 --> 00:37:09,557
You listen to me, Og.
557
00:37:09,622 --> 00:37:12,995
There's nothing in this
world that is perfect.
558
00:37:13,059 --> 00:37:17,400
It'll be four days
before l get my bonus
and can replace that money.
559
00:37:17,463 --> 00:37:20,435
Oh, was I a dope.
I've sacrificed eveything:
560
00:37:20,499 --> 00:37:23,371
my job, my marriage
to your daughter.
561
00:37:23,436 --> 00:37:25,840
Keep my daughter's name
out of this.
562
00:37:25,906 --> 00:37:30,714
Don't you ever tell me again
l'm not a jabbernowl
and a moon cal_
563
00:37:32,344 --> 00:37:35,417
Please get out of the office,
Mr. Sous�. This is terrible.
564
00:37:35,482 --> 00:37:40,091
l reiterate, Ogilthorpe.
Leave eveything to me.
565
00:37:40,153 --> 00:37:43,325
Don't wory about a thing.
566
00:37:45,860 --> 00:37:47,930
Hello, hello.
567
00:37:47,995 --> 00:37:52,069
Give me
the New Old Lompoc House.
568
00:37:52,132 --> 00:37:55,539
Yeah, the New Old.
569
00:37:55,603 --> 00:37:58,308
Charlie on the desk?
570
00:38:05,581 --> 00:38:10,157
What's a six-letter word
meaning ''embezzlement''?
Prison.
571
00:38:10,219 --> 00:38:12,623
[ Loud Knocking ]
572
00:38:12,688 --> 00:38:14,793
[ Sighs ]
l'll bet that's Og.
573
00:38:14,857 --> 00:38:18,297
Hmm, he's got her bettin'.
She never gambled
before she met him.
574
00:38:18,360 --> 00:38:22,602
Ah, hello, Og.
Hello, dear.
575
00:38:22,665 --> 00:38:25,771
Still workin' on your
crossword-puzzle book?
Uh-huh.
576
00:38:25,836 --> 00:38:28,273
l'll tell you one
on Grandma. l asked
'em to give me...
577
00:38:28,338 --> 00:38:33,347
a six-letter word
meaning ''embezzlement;'
and she said ''prison.''
578
00:38:34,578 --> 00:38:37,182
lsn't that a hot one?
579
00:38:37,248 --> 00:38:39,719
Huh?
580
00:38:47,558 --> 00:38:51,333
She's right.
What's the matter
with you?
581
00:38:52,430 --> 00:38:54,967
l've got something
to confess.
582
00:38:55,033 --> 00:39:00,043
Our engagement is off.
Og, what are you saying?
583
00:39:00,105 --> 00:39:02,944
Oh, well, it's only off
for a while, dear;
584
00:39:03,009 --> 00:39:05,513
that is,
if you're willing to wait
until l get out of prison.
585
00:39:05,577 --> 00:39:09,552
Og, don't scare me.
Oh, stop fooling.
586
00:39:09,614 --> 00:39:13,356
What do you mean?
Oh, l don't know.
l can't think straight.
587
00:39:13,419 --> 00:39:15,890
Your father brought a man
into the bank who sold me...
588
00:39:15,955 --> 00:39:20,197
his old grandmother's
paisley shawl with a beer river
running through it.
589
00:39:20,259 --> 00:39:23,264
l don't know
what it was!
Are you sick?
590
00:39:23,329 --> 00:39:26,368
Let me feel your head.
Ooh, you've got a fever.
591
00:39:26,432 --> 00:39:30,941
l don't know what l've got,
but your father got me to
take $500 from the bank...
592
00:39:31,004 --> 00:39:32,941
and invest it in--
Og!
593
00:39:33,006 --> 00:39:37,348
Shh. Not so loud.
l don't want your mother
or grandmother to hear this.
594
00:39:37,410 --> 00:39:41,986
He got me to invest it in
telephone and telegraph
and electric light company.
595
00:39:42,050 --> 00:39:45,857
No, it wasn't
telephone or telegraph.
It was a Beefsteak Mine.
596
00:39:45,920 --> 00:39:49,962
A Beefsteak Mine!
Og, have you been drinking?
597
00:39:50,024 --> 00:39:53,965
l'm going to tell my mother
that my father got you to drink
and steal money from the bank.
598
00:39:54,029 --> 00:39:56,701
No, listen, dear.
l'm gonna tell my mother
right away...
599
00:39:56,765 --> 00:40:00,572
that my father got you to
steal money from the bank
and invest it in a Beefsteak Mine.
600
00:40:00,635 --> 00:40:02,905
Oh, now, Myrtle!
601
00:40:03,404 --> 00:40:07,478
lt was nice of you
to call me.
Oh, not at all!
602
00:40:07,542 --> 00:40:10,715
l knew you were a stranger.
l wanted to make
your stay happy.
603
00:40:10,779 --> 00:40:14,319
l work for
the Chamber of Commerce
when l'm not on my regular--
604
00:40:14,383 --> 00:40:16,420
Would you like
to weigh yourself?
Oh, no.
605
00:40:16,485 --> 00:40:21,061
l know the manager here.
He'll let you weigh yourself
for nothing.
606
00:40:21,125 --> 00:40:25,165
Um, Lompoc is noted
for its beautiful girls.
607
00:40:25,229 --> 00:40:28,335
l imagine
you've noticed some.
Yes, l have.
608
00:40:28,398 --> 00:40:30,735
l'm a married man
with a grown daughter
18 years ofage.
609
00:40:30,800 --> 00:40:33,105
Oh, l'd like to meet her.
610
00:40:33,170 --> 00:40:37,979
l'm very fond of children--
girl children around 18, 20.
611
00:40:38,042 --> 00:40:42,551
l have a young daughter
of marriageable age,
also a small daughter;
612
00:40:42,613 --> 00:40:46,821
nice wife and a mother-in-law
that loves me like her own son.
613
00:40:46,885 --> 00:40:49,322
Would you like to give
the town a double ''O''?
614
00:40:49,387 --> 00:40:52,894
A little constitutional
couldn't possibly hurt.
No.
615
00:40:52,958 --> 00:40:56,732
Ha! The Black Pussy Cafe
and snack bar.
616
00:40:56,795 --> 00:41:00,401
Hello, Fancy.
How would you like to go in
and have a little spot?
617
00:41:00,465 --> 00:41:04,439
Mm-mm. No, no.
l never drink during
business hours, thank you.
618
00:41:04,503 --> 00:41:09,613
Just a little spot,
and we'll find out how Gumlegs
came out at Del Mar today.
619
00:41:09,676 --> 00:41:13,449
This, uh-- This place
isn't crowded, is it?
620
00:41:13,513 --> 00:41:16,552
No! If it wasn't for me,
the place'd starve to death.
621
00:41:16,616 --> 00:41:20,490
Well, l'll dawdle
for about ten minutes.
We'll dawdle together.
622
00:41:20,554 --> 00:41:24,193
Oh, after you.
Thank you.
623
00:41:26,726 --> 00:41:30,166
Nice little place here.
Psst, psst.
624
00:41:30,230 --> 00:41:32,868
Could we find a
secluded spot where
we won't be observed?
625
00:41:32,933 --> 00:41:36,373
Oh, surely. Sit down there.
Nobody will see you.
626
00:41:36,437 --> 00:41:40,178
These are just a couple
of local beer guzzlers.
627
00:41:40,241 --> 00:41:42,378
Could we pull
the shade?
628
00:41:42,443 --> 00:41:44,681
You can pull anything
you want in here.
It's a regular joint.
629
00:41:44,746 --> 00:41:48,220
l know Joe very well.
What's your pleasure?
630
00:41:48,284 --> 00:41:52,058
Uh, Rye highball.
Rye highball.
631
00:41:52,121 --> 00:41:55,494
Make it light.
Light? Fine.
632
00:41:55,558 --> 00:41:58,129
Hi, Mr. Sous�.
What'll it be?
633
00:41:58,194 --> 00:42:01,133
[ Egbert ]
l want two highballs.
634
00:42:01,197 --> 00:42:05,171
One very light.
You can double up on mine.
635
00:42:05,234 --> 00:42:08,941
Has Michael Finn
been in here today?
636
00:42:09,004 --> 00:42:12,511
- No, but he will be.
-Mm-hmm.That's good.
637
00:42:12,575 --> 00:42:16,850
How'd Gumlegs come out
in the fifth?
He ran sixth.
638
00:42:16,912 --> 00:42:19,151
Oh, the dog!
639
00:42:19,216 --> 00:42:22,021
You ever bet on the races?
No. l never wager.
640
00:42:22,085 --> 00:42:25,892
You never wager.
It's not a bad idea.
It's a good system.
641
00:42:25,957 --> 00:42:29,430
l bet on that Gumlegs once.
642
00:42:29,493 --> 00:42:32,565
He won. But the jockey
got of fat the three-quarters...
643
00:42:32,629 --> 00:42:36,103
and had to carry him
across the tape on his back.
644
00:42:36,167 --> 00:42:40,442
He's a beetle.
The jockey was
a very insulting fellow.
645
00:42:40,504 --> 00:42:43,043
He referred
to my proboscis...
646
00:42:43,108 --> 00:42:46,949
as an adsatitious
excrescious.
647
00:42:47,011 --> 00:42:50,050
l had to tweak his nose.
648
00:42:50,115 --> 00:42:54,256
l was compelled to--
Oh, that's fine, thank you.
649
00:42:56,221 --> 00:42:59,094
Well, no one's looking.
650
00:42:59,158 --> 00:43:02,665
Down the hatch.
Down the--
[ Clears Throat ]
651
00:43:15,409 --> 00:43:17,813
[ Gasps ]
652
00:43:27,720 --> 00:43:29,758
[ Gasps ]
653
00:43:34,896 --> 00:43:36,833
[ Hiccups ]
654
00:43:38,733 --> 00:43:42,272
l feel deathly ill.
Oh.
655
00:43:42,337 --> 00:43:46,612
Well, fill 'em up again,
Joe.
656
00:43:46,675 --> 00:43:51,484
No, no, please.
l've never had such
a feeling in all my life.
657
00:43:51,546 --> 00:43:54,686
Probably it's something
you've eaten.
[ Hiccups ]
658
00:43:54,749 --> 00:43:58,289
I haven't eaten anything.
There you are,
you haven't eaten.
659
00:43:58,354 --> 00:44:01,962
Let's go over.
l'll get you some
nice chili con carne.
660
00:44:02,024 --> 00:44:05,231
Or it may be
the altitude.
661
00:44:05,295 --> 00:44:06,830
Come on.
Ooh!
662
00:44:06,897 --> 00:44:10,870
My error. Don't
worry about a thing.
You're all right.
663
00:44:10,934 --> 00:44:15,610
lt may be the altitude.
This town has an altitude
of 500 feet.
664
00:44:15,671 --> 00:44:18,310
Population is 4,500.
665
00:44:18,375 --> 00:44:23,753
Schools. Churches.
Public library.
[ Groans ]
666
00:44:23,814 --> 00:44:27,153
Three blocks
of paved streets.
667
00:44:27,218 --> 00:44:31,594
Two trains a day, not
counting the milk train
at 4:OO in the morning.
668
00:44:31,655 --> 00:44:35,496
We have three drugstores.
One actually sells medicine.
Stop.
669
00:44:35,559 --> 00:44:39,033
Stop, l'm dying.
Could you direct me
to a culvert?
670
00:44:39,097 --> 00:44:42,504
Why don't you wait till
you get to the hotel?
It's only six blocks.
671
00:44:42,567 --> 00:44:47,476
We pass the Spanish
Americo Chili Parlor
on the way up.
672
00:44:47,541 --> 00:44:49,343
[ Hiccups ]
673
00:44:50,708 --> 00:44:55,585
Maybe you've eaten
an oyster in a month
that had an ''R'' in it.
674
00:44:55,647 --> 00:44:58,887
Don't let these people know.
It's a vey respectable place.
675
00:44:58,952 --> 00:45:01,523
That's all right.
That's all right.
676
00:45:01,587 --> 00:45:04,694
Come on, come on.
Equilibrium's the thing.
677
00:45:04,758 --> 00:45:07,763
lf your friend is drunk,
don't bring him
into this hotel.
678
00:45:07,826 --> 00:45:12,168
He's already
registered here.
J. Pinkerton Snoopington.
679
00:45:12,233 --> 00:45:14,637
Little case of
ptomaine poisoning.
680
00:45:14,701 --> 00:45:17,807
Well, get him out of sight
as quickly as possible.
Something he ate.
681
00:45:17,871 --> 00:45:22,982
He's in room 5.
Room 5.
Come on, old boy.
682
00:45:23,043 --> 00:45:27,920
This won't last forever.
Come on. Look out!
Look out.
683
00:45:27,983 --> 00:45:31,054
That's it.
Now, you're all right.
684
00:45:31,118 --> 00:45:36,596
You'll be fine
or l'll fix it so you will be...
685
00:45:36,658 --> 00:45:40,331
in due time.
l shall make it
my business to see...
686
00:45:40,395 --> 00:45:43,267
that the Lompoc Ladies
Auxiliary will be informed.
687
00:45:43,332 --> 00:45:47,139
l thought this
was a family hotel.
Yes, indeed it is.
688
00:45:47,202 --> 00:45:49,942
Uh, uh, Mr. Snoopington
has a touch of ptomaine.
689
00:45:50,006 --> 00:45:54,080
Hmm. Didn't smell
like ptomaine.
690
00:45:56,012 --> 00:45:57,915
[ Gasps ]
Well!
691
00:45:57,981 --> 00:46:00,452
Drat, drat,
drat, drat.
692
00:46:00,517 --> 00:46:03,723
Come on!
Here you are.
693
00:46:05,922 --> 00:46:08,260
Okay, okay!
What are you trying to do?
694
00:46:08,325 --> 00:46:12,834
Fill this hotel full
of delirium tremens?
We've a reputation uphold!
695
00:46:12,896 --> 00:46:15,233
This is the same man,
just fell out the window.
696
00:46:15,299 --> 00:46:17,637
Friend of mine caught him
on the first bounce.
Oh, yeah?
697
00:46:17,701 --> 00:46:21,007
Face up.
l'll see that he
doesn't bounce again.
698
00:46:21,071 --> 00:46:25,580
Come now, Mr. Snoopington.
Come, let's pull
ourselves together now.
699
00:46:25,644 --> 00:46:28,484
Here we go.
Up, up, up.
700
00:46:28,546 --> 00:46:31,251
Oh, yes,
he's blotto.
701
00:46:31,316 --> 00:46:33,421
lsn't he--
Oh!
702
00:46:43,229 --> 00:46:48,472
[ Operator ]
When you hear the tone, it will be
22 and one half minutes till 7:OO.
703
00:46:48,535 --> 00:46:52,809
Listen, l'm calling Dr. Stall,
and as a matter of fact,
704
00:46:52,873 --> 00:46:58,516
when l hear the tone,
it'll be 22 and one half minutes till 6:OO.
705
00:46:58,579 --> 00:47:02,352
Give me Dr. Stall.
l'll give you
information please.
706
00:47:02,416 --> 00:47:07,927
l don't want information please
or Professor Quiz
or calling all cars.
707
00:47:07,988 --> 00:47:11,528
l want Dr. Stall.
Louder, please.
708
00:47:11,592 --> 00:47:16,635
''Louder, please.''
If l spoke any louder,
l wouldn't need a telephone.
709
00:47:16,698 --> 00:47:19,603
Gimme Dr. Stall.
710
00:47:30,812 --> 00:47:33,985
[ Loud Crunching ]
711
00:47:39,689 --> 00:47:41,793
[ Ringing ]
712
00:47:46,529 --> 00:47:48,966
Hello.
713
00:47:49,032 --> 00:47:50,935
Just a moment,
please.
714
00:47:51,000 --> 00:47:54,841
The first thing you've
got to do is cut out
all health foods.
715
00:47:54,904 --> 00:47:59,512
That'll be $1O.OO.
The nurse will return your
clothes with the receipt.
716
00:48:00,877 --> 00:48:02,747
Hello.
717
00:48:02,812 --> 00:48:05,817
This is Sous� speaking,
Doc. How are you?
718
00:48:05,883 --> 00:48:09,256
l'm here at
the New Old Lompoc House.
719
00:48:09,320 --> 00:48:13,261
There's a bank examiner
in town, an old friend
of the family's.
720
00:48:13,324 --> 00:48:17,165
He's evidently
been on a bender.
He's full of nose paint.
721
00:48:18,529 --> 00:48:22,103
[ Groaning ]
[ Knocking ]
722
00:48:24,268 --> 00:48:27,675
Hello, Snoopy, old boy!
How do you feel?
723
00:48:27,739 --> 00:48:32,615
Oh, l feel as though
l've been poisoned.
[ Laughing ]
724
00:48:32,677 --> 00:48:35,850
You look the picture
of health!
725
00:48:39,117 --> 00:48:41,655
Oh, oh!
726
00:48:44,323 --> 00:48:48,097
Shame. Agony.
727
00:48:49,095 --> 00:48:51,834
My poor wife.
728
00:48:51,898 --> 00:48:55,238
Little Doret.
729
00:48:55,302 --> 00:48:58,541
I forgot to telephone them
Last night.
730
00:48:58,605 --> 00:49:01,778
Why don't you let me
get you something to eat?
731
00:49:01,842 --> 00:49:05,649
How'd you like some
breaded veal cutlet
with tomato sauce?
732
00:49:05,713 --> 00:49:09,654
A chocolate eclair
with whip cream?
733
00:49:09,717 --> 00:49:12,422
Poor fella hasn't had
anything to eat.
734
00:49:12,487 --> 00:49:15,559
[ Knocking ]
Oh.
735
00:49:15,624 --> 00:49:17,727
Guess that's the doctor.
736
00:49:20,728 --> 00:49:23,066
Hello, Doc.
How are ya?
737
00:49:23,131 --> 00:49:25,803
How's business?
Oh, fair, fair.
738
00:49:25,867 --> 00:49:28,907
l don't suppose
we'll ever get another
whooping-cough epidemic again.
739
00:49:28,970 --> 00:49:31,175
No, l don't suppose
we will.
740
00:49:31,239 --> 00:49:35,481
Ah, this is the eminent,
uh, Dr. Stall--
741
00:49:35,544 --> 00:49:38,616
diagnostician, our town's
leading physician.
742
00:49:38,682 --> 00:49:43,525
What's the name?
J. Pinkerton Snoopington.
743
00:49:43,587 --> 00:49:45,924
Business?
Bank examiner.
744
00:49:45,989 --> 00:49:50,097
Bank examiner?
Quite a lucrative occupation.
Yes.
745
00:49:50,160 --> 00:49:53,466
Do you mind, uh,
showing me your tongue?
746
00:49:59,135 --> 00:50:02,408
You must eat more solids;
meats and sauces.
747
00:50:02,472 --> 00:50:05,078
You need iron;
liver and bacon.
748
00:50:05,141 --> 00:50:07,346
You lack vitamins
''A'',''B'' and ''C.''
749
00:50:07,411 --> 00:50:12,855
Skip the rest down to ''X'' and ''Y.''
If''Z'' is necessay,
we'll give you that later.
750
00:50:12,917 --> 00:50:15,856
What you need
most of all is rest.
751
00:50:15,920 --> 00:50:19,293
Rest will do more for you
than all the doctors
in the world.
752
00:50:19,358 --> 00:50:22,664
No exercise!
No.
753
00:50:22,728 --> 00:50:26,101
Now, you take
two of these...
754
00:50:26,164 --> 00:50:31,909
in a glass of castor oil
for two nights running,
then you skip one night.
755
00:50:31,970 --> 00:50:36,913
But l thought you said l
wasn't to take any exercise.
You take me too literally.
756
00:50:36,976 --> 00:50:38,946
What l should say is,
757
00:50:39,011 --> 00:50:42,585
you take two for
two nights consecutively,
758
00:50:42,649 --> 00:50:46,224
and then you, uh--
Refrain from taking them
one night.
759
00:50:46,286 --> 00:50:48,623
Yes.
760
00:50:48,689 --> 00:50:52,797
That's absolutely true
and they're tasteless.
Good with goulash.
761
00:50:52,860 --> 00:50:57,202
[Dr. Stall]
With the proper rest,
l'll get you out of here in three days.
762
00:51:00,434 --> 00:51:04,141
Yes, sir, l'll get
you out in three days.
763
00:51:07,207 --> 00:51:11,148
Three more days
and you'll be outta here.
Four!
764
00:51:12,580 --> 00:51:15,585
Careful waving that cane.
You might hit something.
765
00:51:15,650 --> 00:51:19,057
Yeah, l might hit
that globe up there.
766
00:51:19,120 --> 00:51:22,827
That'll be just one day
before the boys at the
bank get their bonus.
767
00:51:22,892 --> 00:51:25,297
Yes, sir, I'll have you out
in three days--
768
00:51:25,361 --> 00:51:28,300
unless, of course,
complications set in.
Oh, yes.
769
00:51:28,364 --> 00:51:32,171
That'll naturally take
an extra day.
Yes!
770
00:51:32,234 --> 00:51:34,304
Leave everything
to me.
771
00:51:34,370 --> 00:51:37,977
l'll do the worrying.
Be happy and gay!
772
00:51:38,040 --> 00:51:41,146
l'll have the management
send you up a radio.
773
00:51:41,210 --> 00:51:44,317
Come on, Doc.
We better be going.
774
00:51:45,950 --> 00:51:48,655
Toodle-oo!
775
00:51:48,719 --> 00:51:53,896
Gonna have the missus bake
you a nice coconut custard pie
with savaloi pudding.
776
00:51:53,958 --> 00:51:55,961
[ Hiccups ]
777
00:51:56,026 --> 00:51:58,464
You haven't a thing
to worry about.
778
00:51:58,529 --> 00:52:02,570
I've got Snoopington down
at the New Old Lompoc House.
He's still in bed.
779
00:52:02,633 --> 00:52:05,839
Oh, much obliged. l gotta
put on my work clothes now.
780
00:52:05,903 --> 00:52:08,041
Okay, go ahead.
781
00:52:08,105 --> 00:52:10,777
Uh, what do you mean?
782
00:52:13,478 --> 00:52:16,483
Ha, yeah.
l thought l lost it.
783
00:52:23,155 --> 00:52:25,493
How-dee-do,
Mr. Skinner?
784
00:52:28,394 --> 00:52:31,299
Mr. Sous�, we appreciate
the capture you made...
785
00:52:31,363 --> 00:52:34,402
and the manhandling
you gave those criminals.
786
00:52:34,467 --> 00:52:37,573
Oh, nothing at all!
Nothing really.
787
00:52:37,637 --> 00:52:39,741
They were a couple
of tough fellows.
788
00:52:39,806 --> 00:52:42,811
One of them pulled
a knife on me.
789
00:52:42,877 --> 00:52:45,682
Pulled a knife that
was really-- It was--
790
00:52:45,746 --> 00:52:48,852
It was about that--
791
00:52:48,916 --> 00:52:51,520
It was about that long.
It was really an assegai.
792
00:52:51,585 --> 00:52:55,192
Doesn't anyone ever pull
a short knife on you,
Mr. Sous�?
793
00:52:55,256 --> 00:52:57,660
A little one...
about that long?
794
00:52:57,725 --> 00:53:00,531
Oh, yes!
Yes, yes.
795
00:53:00,595 --> 00:53:04,402
Major Moe one time,
a little colored midget,
pulled one on me.
796
00:53:04,465 --> 00:53:08,339
It was just about that long.
Wasn't really a knife,
it was a razor.
797
00:53:08,403 --> 00:53:11,142
We're grateful to you for
retrieving the bank's funds.
798
00:53:11,206 --> 00:53:14,178
Oh, that was in
the line of duty.
799
00:53:14,242 --> 00:53:18,149
And we feel we've shown
our gratitude by giving you
a position as bank's officer.
800
00:53:18,213 --> 00:53:21,018
But when you caution
Mrs. Muckle's little son...
801
00:53:21,084 --> 00:53:25,226
about carrying a toy pistol
into the bank,
that's going too far.
802
00:53:25,288 --> 00:53:27,993
l cannot impress upon you
too firmly,
803
00:53:28,057 --> 00:53:31,129
the Skinner Bank is
a dignified institution.
804
00:53:31,194 --> 00:53:34,533
Yeah, that's the way
l always figured it.
805
00:53:34,597 --> 00:53:38,371
l guess you figured it
the same way, working here
the same as l do.
806
00:53:38,434 --> 00:53:41,474
Furthermore, l've been informed
that you are a frequenter...
807
00:53:41,538 --> 00:53:43,775
of a caf� known
as the Black Pussy.
808
00:53:43,841 --> 00:53:46,379
Oh, yes.
Say, that reminds me.
809
00:53:46,443 --> 00:53:50,752
One of the customers
gave it to me last night.
Thank you.
810
00:53:50,815 --> 00:53:52,885
By the way,
811
00:53:52,951 --> 00:53:57,827
accept this
silver-plated napkin ring
with my compliments.
812
00:53:57,889 --> 00:54:01,563
l won it over at
the bowling alley last night.
Thanks.
813
00:54:01,626 --> 00:54:04,298
- You're welcome.
-Why, Mr. Snoopington!
814
00:54:04,362 --> 00:54:07,634
Aaah!
[ Muttering ]
815
00:54:08,766 --> 00:54:11,805
l beg your pardon.
816
00:54:11,871 --> 00:54:16,747
lt's an unexpected pleasure
to see you in Lompoc.
It's no pleasure for me.
817
00:54:16,809 --> 00:54:21,017
l'm a very sick man.
But l'm also a man for duty.
818
00:54:21,081 --> 00:54:24,153
lf you don't mind, l'd like
to look over your books.
819
00:54:24,216 --> 00:54:26,219
[ Buzzer ]
Aaah!
820
00:54:28,220 --> 00:54:33,163
[ Skinner ]
Of course we don't mind. This bank
is always ready for an audit, yes, sirree.
821
00:54:33,225 --> 00:54:37,032
Mr. Sous�, our special officer,
will give you evey
assistance you wish.
822
00:54:37,098 --> 00:54:39,101
- [ Knocking ]
- Come in.
823
00:54:39,167 --> 00:54:43,041
Not feeling well,
Mr. Snoopington?
No, l'm not feeling very fit.
824
00:54:43,104 --> 00:54:45,776
Well, l'll leave you
to Mr. Sous�.
825
00:54:45,840 --> 00:54:49,146
And rest assured
you are in proper hands.
826
00:54:49,209 --> 00:54:51,179
Thank you.
827
00:54:55,783 --> 00:54:59,190
Are you, um--
828
00:54:59,253 --> 00:55:03,027
Are you still suffering
from that slight nausea
you had yesterday?
829
00:55:03,091 --> 00:55:06,164
Yes, l haven't quite
gotten over it yet.
Well, listen,
830
00:55:06,227 --> 00:55:08,531
l don't want to be
a crepe hanger,
831
00:55:08,597 --> 00:55:13,840
but in your weakened condition,
you're subject to
all sorts of maladies.
832
00:55:13,902 --> 00:55:18,211
Now, l want to tell you
something very confidentially.
Yes?
833
00:55:18,273 --> 00:55:23,784
l know positively that
our good friend Dr. Stall...
834
00:55:23,846 --> 00:55:28,789
has treated this boy who thumbs
the pages of these books...
835
00:55:28,851 --> 00:55:31,958
for Malta fever, beriberi
836
00:55:32,022 --> 00:55:37,499
and that dreaded of all diseases
mogo on the ga-go-go.
837
00:55:37,560 --> 00:55:40,333
Mr. Sous�, if duty called,
838
00:55:40,397 --> 00:55:45,072
l would go into
the tsetse fly country of Africa
and brave sleeping sickness...
839
00:55:45,135 --> 00:55:47,840
if there were books
to be examined.
Hmm.
840
00:55:52,611 --> 00:55:54,647
This way?
Uh, yeah.
841
00:55:54,713 --> 00:55:59,089
Would you like
to examine the books
of the Black Pussy Cafe?
842
00:55:59,150 --> 00:56:01,756
Thank you.
843
00:56:01,820 --> 00:56:03,925
[ Groans ]
844
00:56:03,990 --> 00:56:07,262
What you need to get is
a description of that place.
845
00:56:07,325 --> 00:56:09,262
Okay.
846
00:56:13,032 --> 00:56:15,536
[ Groaning ]
Og, what's
the matter?
847
00:56:15,601 --> 00:56:17,604
Exactly what l suspected!
848
00:56:17,670 --> 00:56:21,310
What?
The old mogo
on the ga-go-go.
849
00:56:21,374 --> 00:56:23,979
Og?
Whiskey!
850
00:56:24,044 --> 00:56:25,780
Whiskey? Look out!
l'll get it!
851
00:56:25,845 --> 00:56:27,983
Whiskey.
What's the matter?
Speak to me!
852
00:56:28,049 --> 00:56:30,352
What happened to him?
l don't know.
853
00:56:30,416 --> 00:56:34,091
Help me lift him up.
Just wet his lips.
854
00:56:34,154 --> 00:56:36,492
Okay.
855
00:56:36,556 --> 00:56:39,695
Here you are.
856
00:56:43,363 --> 00:56:46,168
[ Hiccups ]
857
00:56:47,835 --> 00:56:50,239
Uh--
858
00:56:50,306 --> 00:56:54,180
Ooh!
Something in the clamp?
859
00:56:54,243 --> 00:56:56,480
Oh, that's a good question.
860
00:56:56,545 --> 00:57:01,855
Ah, unfortunately you
must've had your hand in there.
861
00:57:01,917 --> 00:57:04,489
That'll interfere with
your writing, won't it?
862
00:57:04,553 --> 00:57:07,659
It won't interfere with
my writing. Fortunately,
l'm left-handed.
863
00:57:07,723 --> 00:57:11,263
Oh, that's unfort--
Oh, yeah.
864
00:57:11,328 --> 00:57:14,367
Get him a glass of water,
will you, Scotty?
Feel better?
865
00:57:24,507 --> 00:57:26,177
Psst!
866
00:57:26,243 --> 00:57:28,513
Mr. Sous�.
867
00:57:28,579 --> 00:57:32,218
Did l see that
bank examiner here?
868
00:57:32,283 --> 00:57:34,353
Why, l don't imagine so.
869
00:57:34,417 --> 00:57:37,957
With my introspective eye
as a detective,
870
00:57:38,022 --> 00:57:41,329
l would naturally
have seen him--
871
00:57:44,762 --> 00:57:49,004
Ah,just as l thought:
recurring fever.
872
00:57:49,067 --> 00:57:51,471
l'm sorry to appear
overzealous,
873
00:57:51,535 --> 00:57:54,441
but these books
have got to be examined.
874
00:57:56,575 --> 00:57:59,948
Let me help you,
Mr. Snoopington.
Oh, thank you.
875
00:58:00,012 --> 00:58:03,250
Here you are, sir.
Oh, l'm sorry, sir.
876
00:58:03,316 --> 00:58:06,589
That's all right.
l can't see a thing
without my glasses.
877
00:58:06,652 --> 00:58:10,191
Here you are, sir.
Thank you.
878
00:58:10,256 --> 00:58:13,963
- l'll be right over here if you need me, sir.
- All right.
879
00:58:34,315 --> 00:58:38,122
If I can be of--
880
00:58:38,186 --> 00:58:40,824
Oh, sorry.
And l try to be so helpful.
881
00:58:40,889 --> 00:58:44,462
Well-- Oh.
Tsk, tsk, tsk.
882
00:58:44,526 --> 00:58:48,066
l hope that won't intefere
with your auditing the books.
883
00:58:48,130 --> 00:58:51,001
lt certainly will not!
884
00:58:51,066 --> 00:58:53,937
Oh, that's good,
that's good.
885
00:59:07,516 --> 00:59:13,094
It couldn't be possible that
Mr. Sous� is trying to keep me
from examining the books.
886
00:59:40,419 --> 00:59:42,389
There, you see?
887
00:59:42,454 --> 00:59:45,226
Mr. Sous�, l've done
Mr. Oggilby a great wrong.
888
00:59:45,290 --> 00:59:47,427
And I'm here to recti_
that wrong.
889
00:59:47,494 --> 00:59:50,433
I was hoodwinked
into believing that
those bonds were 1OOM.
890
00:59:50,497 --> 00:59:53,803
l've never been guilty of
a dishonest act in my life.
891
00:59:53,866 --> 00:59:57,472
So I'll take those bonds
off his hands if I have to
pay for them with my blood.
892
00:59:57,536 --> 00:59:59,573
Transfusion?
Anything.
893
00:59:59,638 --> 01:00:04,314
There you are. The man
is willing to buy the bonds
back with his own blood.
894
01:00:04,377 --> 01:00:08,786
l don't want blood.
l want money. Let him
give me back the $500.
895
01:00:08,848 --> 01:00:12,422
The boy needs money.
He doesn't want blood.
896
01:00:12,486 --> 01:00:14,990
He's got high
blood pressure already.
897
01:00:15,054 --> 01:00:16,991
Give him what he paid
for the bonds in cash.
898
01:00:17,057 --> 01:00:19,227
I'm the saddest man
in the world.
899
01:00:19,293 --> 01:00:22,265
You may be the second saddest,
but he's the saddest.
900
01:00:22,329 --> 01:00:24,901
l'm prepared to pay you
$350 cash.
901
01:00:24,965 --> 01:00:28,472
l'll pay the rest
in weekly installments
of $25 per week.
902
01:00:28,537 --> 01:00:31,977
I'll even give you my
favorite aunt's wedding ring
as security.
903
01:00:32,040 --> 01:00:34,577
l want to prove that l am
honest in the worst way.
904
01:00:34,976 --> 01:00:37,748
The worst way.
905
01:00:43,118 --> 01:00:48,194
Thanks. l was a fool to listen
to Mr. Sous� in the first place.
In the second place too.
906
01:00:48,257 --> 01:00:52,198
Paper, mister?
How'd Gumlegs come out
in the fourth today?
907
01:00:52,260 --> 01:00:55,734
l don't know.
Let me see your paper.
908
01:00:58,000 --> 01:01:02,676
A bonanza! Bee_teak Mine.
909
01:01:02,738 --> 01:01:05,576
Godfrey Daniel!
910
01:01:09,513 --> 01:01:13,120
Oh! What are you doing?
Just as l was getting
some of my money back!
911
01:01:13,183 --> 01:01:16,223
You read this paper.
You're a millionaire!
912
01:01:16,286 --> 01:01:19,091
Go away, Mr. Sous�.
Look at that window.
913
01:01:19,157 --> 01:01:21,494
Read that paper.
914
01:01:24,529 --> 01:01:28,203
Oh! Now l can put
the money back without
waiting for my bonus.
915
01:01:28,266 --> 01:01:31,406
Mr. Snoopington's no longer
a nightmare. Bring him in here!
l'll kill him!
916
01:01:31,469 --> 01:01:34,809
Calm yourself. Oggilby,
my boy. Calm yourself.
917
01:01:34,872 --> 01:01:38,212
Golly.
Oh, Mr. Sous�!
Cut it out.
918
01:01:38,277 --> 01:01:41,483
Oh, Mr. Sous�,
l don't need all this money.
l don't deserve it.
919
01:01:41,547 --> 01:01:44,754
You engineered the whole thing.
You're a financial wizard.
920
01:01:44,816 --> 01:01:48,156
l'm gonna split with ya.
l'll give you half of'em.
Thank you, Og.
921
01:01:48,220 --> 01:01:50,658
Wait.
l'll follow ya.
922
01:01:50,723 --> 01:01:54,664
Anything l can do
for you?
You sure can, brother.
923
01:01:54,727 --> 01:01:58,701
Turn around.
Now start walking toward
the cashier's cage and keep quiet.
924
01:01:58,765 --> 01:02:00,767
Ooh! That tickles.
925
01:02:01,901 --> 01:02:04,305
[ Crook ]
You remember me,
don't you?
926
01:02:04,371 --> 01:02:09,949
Ah, you remember
the gentleman, Og?
927
01:02:10,010 --> 01:02:13,049
Yes, sir.
That's the man that
held me up the last time.
928
01:02:13,113 --> 01:02:16,286
Ah, mind your, uh--
mind your language, Og.
929
01:02:16,350 --> 01:02:20,525
Here. Hate for you
to be the fall guy,
but fill that up.
930
01:02:20,588 --> 01:02:24,195
Do what the gentleman
tells you to, Og, quickly.
Yes, sir.
931
01:02:24,259 --> 01:02:26,295
Don't-- Oh, don't--
Shut up.
932
01:02:29,197 --> 01:02:32,536
This is my
Beefsteak stock.
fill that up.
933
01:02:32,601 --> 01:02:35,540
[ Egbert ]
Do what the gentleman
tells you to, Og.
934
01:02:37,738 --> 01:02:40,143
Thanks.
935
01:02:40,208 --> 01:02:44,617
Do you mind accompanying
me to the door?
Not at all, no.
936
01:02:44,681 --> 01:02:47,620
How-dee-do,
Mrs. Chiselbottom?
937
01:02:47,684 --> 01:02:51,692
Keep your foot off the alarm,
or l'll come back and plug you.
Are you still there?
938
01:02:51,754 --> 01:02:54,392
Hello, Mr. Sous�.
Making more movies?
939
01:02:54,457 --> 01:02:57,964
Sous�, huh? Get in
that car and start driving.
We're goin' for a ride.
940
01:02:58,027 --> 01:03:00,465
Reach for the sky
and back up there.
941
01:03:01,831 --> 01:03:05,170
[Alarm Ringing ]
942
01:03:05,235 --> 01:03:07,673
Oggilby, you're arousing the bank.
943
01:03:07,738 --> 01:03:10,476
You have the alarm on.
What's the matter?
944
01:03:10,541 --> 01:03:14,483
Like to see some of
the places of interest in town?
No, keep driving.
945
01:03:19,783 --> 01:03:23,190
There's the Black Pussy Cafe.
Be careful!
946
01:03:28,326 --> 01:03:30,931
Help!
We've been robbed!
947
01:03:30,994 --> 01:03:34,569
Johnson, get on that phone
and get the police.
There's been a robbey here.
948
01:03:34,633 --> 01:03:36,335
Help!
Police!
949
01:03:36,401 --> 01:03:40,877
He took Mr. Sous�?
He certainly did,
right from under my contract.
950
01:03:40,939 --> 01:03:43,779
l've just called
the police.
951
01:03:43,843 --> 01:03:47,182
Follow that gray car.
Come on, come on!
952
01:03:47,246 --> 01:03:50,920
Hold up! Bank robbers
up that way.
953
01:03:52,852 --> 01:03:56,593
Don't let that car
out of your sight.
Hurry. That police car.
954
01:04:08,301 --> 01:04:10,605
These are
catalpa trees.
Step on that gas.
955
01:04:10,671 --> 01:04:13,042
Keep moving!
l'm stepping on it.
[ Muttering ]
956
01:04:13,107 --> 01:04:16,581
Mr. Sous�'s liable to get hurt.
And me with $1O,OOO
in the briefcase for him.
957
01:04:16,645 --> 01:04:19,650
For Sous�? What for?
For a stoy he told me
while he was directing.
958
01:04:19,714 --> 01:04:23,588
l sent it in with the day's report,
and the boss went nuts about it.
959
01:04:23,652 --> 01:04:25,989
He wants it
and Sous� too.
960
01:04:26,053 --> 01:04:28,925
There goes the helmet.
961
01:04:44,072 --> 01:04:47,479
- [ Gunshot ]
- Come back here, you.
962
01:05:07,264 --> 01:05:09,701
There's more catalpa--
l'm sorry.
963
01:05:09,768 --> 01:05:12,507
Never mind about those trees.
Keep stepping on the gas.
964
01:05:12,571 --> 01:05:14,908
You know who's in
that car with Sous�?
No, who?
965
01:05:14,972 --> 01:05:19,113
Repulsive Rogan.
There's a $5,OOO
dead-or-alive reward on him.
966
01:06:14,402 --> 01:06:16,672
Stay awake!
Be careful, driver.
967
01:06:19,440 --> 01:06:23,114
Hey!
Magic carpet.
968
01:06:28,082 --> 01:06:31,790
Wipe off that
windshield, you.
Here.
969
01:06:31,854 --> 01:06:35,228
You wipe it off.
l'm driving.
970
01:06:43,999 --> 01:06:47,071
Lake Shoshobogomo is right
over the top of this mountain.
971
01:06:47,136 --> 01:06:48,874
Get out and push!
972
01:06:48,939 --> 01:06:51,678
What do you think this is,
a kiddie car?
973
01:06:51,741 --> 01:06:54,981
Can't push
a hulking truck like this.
974
01:06:55,045 --> 01:06:57,817
Start pushing.
975
01:07:20,739 --> 01:07:24,279
Seems to be a great deal
of traffic here for a county road,
don't you think?
976
01:07:24,343 --> 01:07:26,246
Keep going.
Yeah.
977
01:07:36,221 --> 01:07:38,593
Hiya, toots!
978
01:07:38,658 --> 01:07:40,361
Look out!
979
01:07:44,163 --> 01:07:48,872
The resale value of this car
is gonna be nil after
you get over this trip.
980
01:07:51,605 --> 01:07:54,142
You're goin' too fast!
Slow down.
981
01:07:57,277 --> 01:08:00,883
Foot brake's gone.
Where's your emergency?
982
01:08:03,952 --> 01:08:07,459
Here it is,
but it won't do you any good
in that backseat.
983
01:08:09,858 --> 01:08:13,232
Gimme that wheel.
Here, grab it!
984
01:08:13,294 --> 01:08:17,168
Put it on there!
We're gonna have an accident
if you're not careful.
985
01:08:17,233 --> 01:08:19,569
You're gonna have
a real accident in a minute!
986
01:08:31,747 --> 01:08:33,417
The wheel is comin' off
987
01:08:33,482 --> 01:08:38,592
That's what l thought.
Going to be very dangerous.
988
01:08:40,590 --> 01:08:43,062
l'm gonna jump.
Huh?
989
01:08:50,267 --> 01:08:54,108
Have to take the boat
from here on anyway.
990
01:09:02,580 --> 01:09:05,085
Looking for someone?
991
01:09:15,627 --> 01:09:19,468
You better stop by
the station and see about
that $5,OOO reward, Mr. Sous�.
992
01:09:19,531 --> 01:09:21,701
This sure is your
lucky day, Mr. Sous�.
993
01:09:21,767 --> 01:09:25,274
Here's a check for $1O,OOO
from the Tel-Aviz Company
for that story you told us,
994
01:09:25,338 --> 01:09:27,474
as well as a contract
for you to bring it
to the screen.
995
01:09:27,540 --> 01:09:30,979
Looks like it's all here, Mr. Skinner,
including the Beefsteak Mine.
996
01:09:31,045 --> 01:09:34,886
l don't know whether it is or not,
but allow me to give you
another hearty handclasp.
997
01:09:44,859 --> 01:09:49,434
Judkins, has Mr. Sous�
had his caf� rum a la papa?
998
01:09:49,497 --> 01:09:53,438
Yes, ma'am.
Thank you, dear.
l've had a double noggin.
999
01:09:53,501 --> 01:09:55,271
What time is it, Daddykins?
1000
01:09:55,336 --> 01:09:59,043
lt's one minute till 9:OO.
1001
01:09:59,107 --> 01:10:02,614
l gotta get down to the sal--
the, uh, office.
1002
01:10:02,677 --> 01:10:04,580
Good-bye, Daddy dear.
1003
01:10:04,645 --> 01:10:06,916
Good-bye, dear.
Gimme a kiss.
1004
01:10:06,982 --> 01:10:10,924
l'll give you two of'em.
Good bye, paternoster.
1005
01:10:10,987 --> 01:10:13,324
Good-bye, dear.
Take care of yourself.
1006
01:10:13,388 --> 01:10:16,762
l shall, dear.
Good-bye, my darling.
1007
01:10:16,825 --> 01:10:20,934
Hurry home if you feel like it.
l'll be waiting up as usual.
1008
01:10:20,997 --> 01:10:23,802
Oh, thank you, dear.
l'll be home early.
1009
01:10:36,379 --> 01:10:39,586
Hey, that doesn't look bad,
does it?
1010
01:10:39,649 --> 01:10:42,756
l think, sir, this is
the more appropriate.
1011
01:10:42,819 --> 01:10:46,560
Yeah, that's nice
and cool though. Thanks.
1012
01:10:46,623 --> 01:10:49,061
Thank you.
1013
01:10:52,229 --> 01:10:55,101
Good-bye.
1014
01:10:59,205 --> 01:11:00,774
Thanks.
1015
01:11:00,839 --> 01:11:04,245
Thank you.
1016
01:11:04,309 --> 01:11:07,281
What a changed man.
1017
01:11:07,346 --> 01:11:11,653
You deserve a lot
of credit, Agatha.
Hasn't been easy.
1018
01:11:19,358 --> 01:11:22,664
## [Joe Whistling ]
1019
01:11:27,000 --> 01:11:30,540
Uh, say! Hey!
84164
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