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Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie
www.addic7ed.com
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MALE NARRATOR: This is the story
of a very nice boy named Greg...
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[SNORING SOFTLY]
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... and a very strange boy named Randy.
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RANDY: Oh, just orange juice?
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You can have one of my Gatorades.
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- Thank you.
- Don't forget your wallet, bud.
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NARRATOR: For the past two weeks,
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Randy and Greg have
been rooming together
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on an out-of-town drywall gig.
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At first, everything
had gone swimmingly...
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until Randy started sleepwalking.
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He apologized profusely
to his new friend Greg
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for waking him up and terrifying
him in the middle of the night.
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I'm sorry, Greg.
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NARRATOR: Greg, always the nice boy,
tried to be patient.
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You don't have to keep
on apologizing, honestly.
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I know it's not your fault.
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It's okay.
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NARRATOR: Wanting to help,
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he hoped to figure out a solution.
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Maybe there's a way that
we can, like, fix it.
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Well, I don't see how we can fix it,
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because I've been doing it forever,
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and we're only on this
job for two more weeks,
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and then you'll be rid of me for good.
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I'm not trying to get rid of you, Randy.
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I'm just saying that it's
only temporary for you.
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NARRATOR: Which was true.
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While Greg was going back
to school in the fall,
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Randy would be a drywall guy forever.
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Oh, man, I forgot to go
and get my meat last night.
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I can make you another sandwich.
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Thank you, Greg. You're the best.
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That's all right. No problem.
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NARRATOR: Greg always tried to be
tolerant of Randy's odd habits,
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but sleepwalking, he couldn't ignore.
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What if I, like, uh,
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I tapped you a little?
You know what I mean?
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Like, just kinda like when
you're in that mode.
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Just knock you out of that deep,
deep, deep sleep
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and into more of a lighter sleep?
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They say you're not supposed
to wake a sleepwalker.
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Yeah, I mean...
just kinda spitballing ideas here.
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We gotta figure something out, man,
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because you keep on waking me up,
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and I need to get some sleep.
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I know, and Greg, you're...
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You're like the last person
I want to wake up.
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- It's okay, Randy.
- You know what?
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I really appreciate...
you rooming with me,
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because I know none of the other guys,
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they didn't want to bunk with me.
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That's not true.
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NARRATOR: It was 100% true.
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So, thank you.
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Thank you for being my friend.
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Aw, come on. [LAUGHS]
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I'm serious.
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NARRATOR: Greg knew in his heart
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that he could never truly
be friends with Randy.
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But since he was a nice boy...
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GREG: You're welcome.
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NARRATOR: But even nice
boys have their limits.
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[QUIET SNORING]
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[SNORING]
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NARRATOR: Now, there are two things
you should know about sleepwalkers.
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One, you should never
wake a sleepwalker.
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And two, when one is sleepwalking,
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one is not truly oneself,
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and therefore capable of doing things
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that are, well, unexpected.
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[SNORING]
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[THUD]
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Oh, shit!
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NARRATOR: Grew knew all of these things,
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and he wanted to be a nice boy to Randy.
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But his patience was wearing thin.
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He was not only exhausted from
countless sleepless nights...
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[WHISPERING LOUDLY] Randy!
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Randy, please!
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Go back to bed, okay?
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NARRATOR: He was conflicted.
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His mother had always taught him:
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"Be kinder than necessary,
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for you never know what
someone is going through."
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Jesus!
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NARRATOR: Sage advice, for sure.
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Nevertheless, hard advice to follow
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after a string of unrestful nights.
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So Greg, near the end of his rope,
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decided to try something.
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[WHISPERS] Randy.
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Randy, wake up.
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[SIGHS]
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Aah!
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Oh, my God! No, no, no, no, no!
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[PUNCH LANDS]
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I just can't believe I did that.
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I just can't believe it.
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Greg, you know, I'm...
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I'm so, so sorry. I'm...
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- so sorry.
- Stop it, Randy.
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Please, just stop apologizing.
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Alright? I'm the one
who tried to wake you up.
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Yeah, but I'm the one who
punched you in the eye.
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My best friend!
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It's fine.
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Jeez. Well, I just feel awful.
I wish there was something I could do.
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Well, Randy,
if you really want to do something,
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you could make our
sandwiches for lunch today.
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That's not what I mean.
I'm not a little kid.
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Well, honestly, you're acting like one!
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NARRATOR: Seeing
the look on Randy's face,
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Greg walked himself back.
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It would be helpful if
you made the sandwiches
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so we're not late for work today. Okay?
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Okay.
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[SIGHS] Shit!
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Shit!
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I forgot to buy the meat
again, last night.
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Ohh. You know what?
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I'll get the next two rounds.
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Okay, Greg?
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- I just wish...
- NARRATOR: And in that moment
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as Greg listened to Randy
prattle on senselessly,
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he knew that he couldn't do it anymore.
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Not one more night.
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RANDY: I just... I just wish
there was something...
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NARRATOR: He needed to tell Randy
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that he could no longer be his roommate.
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Hey, can I borrow your deodorant?
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00:08:03,958 --> 00:08:06,778
NARRATOR: He was just too nice to do it.
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00:08:06,803 --> 00:08:08,653
How about a Tootsie Roll?
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00:08:09,958 --> 00:08:11,292
Tootsie Roll?
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00:08:11,317 --> 00:08:12,926
When I was a kid,
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my dad would tuck me in every night.
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Let's say this is me right here.
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This... like... all tight...
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- Like a Tootsie Roll.
- Like a Tootsie Roll.
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00:08:23,887 --> 00:08:25,436
Yeah, like a Tootsie Roll.
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00:08:26,999 --> 00:08:29,825
- I like this idea.
- Great.
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So your dad tucked you in at night.
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00:08:34,610 --> 00:08:35,944
Yeah.
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That must be why you're so nice.
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I'm not that nice.
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No. You're the nicest
person I've ever met.
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- Sandwiches.
- Yeah.
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[CRICKETS CHIRPING]
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GREG: Couple more nights
like that and I'll be good.
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Jesus!
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RANDY: What's up?
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00:10:08,013 --> 00:10:10,181
What happened?
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00:10:10,485 --> 00:10:13,096
Greg, you're scaring me.
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What... Uh...
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Oh, my God.
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[PANTING]
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Ahh.
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00:10:22,481 --> 00:10:26,267
[GRUNTING, GROANING]
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Aah!
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00:10:29,261 --> 00:10:32,369
Ohh. Uhh. Ahh.
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00:10:32,746 --> 00:10:35,260
- [DROPS SHOES TO FLOOR]
- [GROANS]
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At least my legs are okay.
164
00:10:37,427 --> 00:10:38,531
Yeah, but everything else...
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00:10:38,555 --> 00:10:41,775
- No, I'm trying to be positive.
- Oh, sorry. Yeah.
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Did I get out?
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00:10:42,892 --> 00:10:45,937
Randy, it would seem so, yes.
168
00:10:46,472 --> 00:10:48,988
I guess that Tootsie
Roll wasn't tight enough.
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00:10:49,371 --> 00:10:50,603
Yeah.
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00:10:51,643 --> 00:10:53,425
I don't know what happened.
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00:11:01,385 --> 00:11:02,668
[GROANS]
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00:11:03,079 --> 00:11:05,473
I guess... I don't know,
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00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:09,561
I coulda... sat up and walked out,
174
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and then while I was out
there maybe got attacked
175
00:11:13,496 --> 00:11:15,197
by like a dog or something?
176
00:11:15,230 --> 00:11:17,244
Randy, I don't think a dog did that.
177
00:11:17,269 --> 00:11:19,066
Well, what do you think happened?
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00:11:19,091 --> 00:11:20,558
I don't know.
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00:11:24,019 --> 00:11:26,728
NARRATOR: The boys searched
the room for answers.
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00:11:28,645 --> 00:11:30,022
Is that your bag?
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00:11:31,919 --> 00:11:33,379
No.
182
00:11:36,152 --> 00:11:37,155
Oh,
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Jesus. Ohh.
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[GRUNTS]
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00:11:48,833 --> 00:11:50,752
- Tight.
- Let me just...
186
00:11:59,586 --> 00:12:01,057
Oh, my God.
187
00:12:01,082 --> 00:12:02,722
Ohh!
188
00:12:02,747 --> 00:12:04,166
Whoa.
189
00:12:05,683 --> 00:12:06,935
Ohh.
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[GREG PANTING]
191
00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:12,941
[GAGGING]
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00:12:18,529 --> 00:12:20,615
[BAG CRINKLING]
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- I think it's a foot.
- [GREG GAGS]
194
00:12:37,261 --> 00:12:38,707
NARRATOR: It was a foot.
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00:12:38,732 --> 00:12:40,001
Ohh, yeah.
196
00:12:40,957 --> 00:12:42,820
It's so delicate.
197
00:12:43,855 --> 00:12:46,582
I think it's... a female foot.
198
00:12:47,826 --> 00:12:49,244
See the toenail polish?
199
00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:51,371
Ohh! Uhh!
200
00:12:53,691 --> 00:12:55,103
- I'm sorry.
- No... I...
201
00:12:55,128 --> 00:12:57,860
Nope. I can't be a part of this.
202
00:12:57,885 --> 00:12:59,136
Well...
203
00:12:59,161 --> 00:13:02,039
- W-What are you doing?
- I'm packing.
204
00:13:02,064 --> 00:13:03,949
- Packing?
- Yep.
205
00:13:03,974 --> 00:13:05,675
Where are you going?
206
00:13:07,246 --> 00:13:10,089
I don't think this is the time
to go anywhere.
207
00:13:11,082 --> 00:13:13,101
- Greg, you can't leave!
- Randy.
208
00:13:13,126 --> 00:13:16,020
You gotta believe me! I didn't do it!
209
00:13:16,316 --> 00:13:17,522
I never said that you did.
210
00:13:17,547 --> 00:13:19,048
Yeah, but you're acting like I did.
211
00:13:19,073 --> 00:13:21,567
- You're running away scared!
- I just...
212
00:13:21,592 --> 00:13:23,928
- You're scared of me.
- I can't deal with this.
213
00:13:23,953 --> 00:13:25,533
We have to deal with it!
214
00:13:25,558 --> 00:13:27,908
- "We"?!
- The foot is here, now!
215
00:13:27,933 --> 00:13:29,701
- Hold on.
- Yeah, "we"!
216
00:13:29,726 --> 00:13:31,230
I need you!
217
00:13:31,255 --> 00:13:33,871
I- I can't deal with this alone!
218
00:13:33,896 --> 00:13:37,643
This is your mess.
I'm just your fucking roommate, okay?
219
00:13:38,668 --> 00:13:40,143
I thought you were my best friend.
220
00:13:40,168 --> 00:13:43,325
Randy, I am not
your friggin' best friend!
221
00:13:43,357 --> 00:13:46,020
Alright? I'm the only person who's
willing to bunk with you!
222
00:13:46,045 --> 00:13:48,031
And now you're holding a fucking foot,
223
00:13:48,056 --> 00:13:49,412
and you won't let me leave!
224
00:13:51,013 --> 00:13:52,473
Because I need your help.
225
00:13:52,498 --> 00:13:54,989
I'm so sick and tired of helping you.
226
00:13:55,928 --> 00:13:57,263
And now you want me to help you what,
227
00:13:57,287 --> 00:13:59,464
find out whose foot you
sawed off yesterday?
228
00:13:59,489 --> 00:14:00,865
Fuck that.
229
00:14:01,022 --> 00:14:03,194
Fuck. That.
230
00:14:07,545 --> 00:14:10,045
I'm gonna put the foot back in the bag.
231
00:14:15,413 --> 00:14:16,701
Greg...
232
00:14:18,455 --> 00:14:20,206
Look, I need you.
233
00:14:23,442 --> 00:14:25,690
There's a foot in a bag
234
00:14:25,715 --> 00:14:27,717
and I don't know what to do.
235
00:14:27,742 --> 00:14:29,035
[SIGHS]
236
00:14:30,477 --> 00:14:32,740
Please don't leave.
237
00:14:36,565 --> 00:14:39,238
NARRATOR: And then Greg
heard that voice again...
238
00:14:39,271 --> 00:14:42,397
The one reminding him
that he's a nice boy.
239
00:14:43,170 --> 00:14:45,919
And nice boys don't walk
away from people in need.
240
00:14:45,944 --> 00:14:47,624
WOMAN ON TV:
A black Honda Civic drove into
241
00:14:47,654 --> 00:14:48,975
the Fourth and Cross Dairy Queen
242
00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:51,132
last night sometime around 3:00 a. m.,
243
00:14:51,157 --> 00:14:53,123
but otherwise, a pretty quiet night.
244
00:14:53,148 --> 00:14:54,553
Karen, over to you.
245
00:14:54,578 --> 00:14:56,038
KAREN ON TV:
Traffic is already loading up
246
00:14:56,062 --> 00:14:57,858
on the Beltway,
but that's not a surprise,
247
00:14:57,883 --> 00:15:00,030
due to the single-lane closure on 64...
248
00:15:00,199 --> 00:15:01,408
Anything?
249
00:15:02,116 --> 00:15:03,618
No.
250
00:15:08,190 --> 00:15:09,983
I'm a good person.
251
00:15:13,897 --> 00:15:16,623
You've known me well enough to know...
252
00:15:16,936 --> 00:15:18,685
that I'm a good person, right?
253
00:15:19,303 --> 00:15:21,146
- Randy...
- Yes or no.
254
00:15:21,171 --> 00:15:22,567
You can be honest.
255
00:15:27,537 --> 00:15:29,080
[HUMORLESS LAUGH]
256
00:15:29,105 --> 00:15:32,903
Ah, well, I think...
257
00:15:33,168 --> 00:15:36,161
you are not a smart person.
258
00:15:36,403 --> 00:15:40,074
I think you are
259
00:15:40,099 --> 00:15:42,892
unprepared and clueless
260
00:15:42,917 --> 00:15:44,936
to live life as an adult.
261
00:15:44,961 --> 00:15:48,757
Without me, you would be always late
262
00:15:48,782 --> 00:15:50,591
and probably fired,
263
00:15:51,102 --> 00:15:53,552
and that you are...
264
00:15:54,108 --> 00:15:55,860
essentially...
265
00:15:59,192 --> 00:16:02,294
NARRATOR: Greg wanted to
be a nice boy to Randy,
266
00:16:02,697 --> 00:16:04,873
but what he really wanted to do
267
00:16:04,898 --> 00:16:07,584
was to beat the ever-loving
shit out of him.
268
00:16:08,560 --> 00:16:12,405
To beat the incompetence,
ignorance, and idiocy
269
00:16:12,430 --> 00:16:14,177
out of his body.
270
00:16:15,356 --> 00:16:17,577
And for the first time in his life,
271
00:16:17,606 --> 00:16:20,889
Greg looked deep within
and asked himself,
272
00:16:21,138 --> 00:16:23,725
"Am I truly a nice boy?"
273
00:16:26,221 --> 00:16:30,440
Are you... okay?
274
00:16:35,955 --> 00:16:37,456
What?
275
00:16:56,439 --> 00:17:01,439
[SAWING]
276
00:17:14,141 --> 00:17:16,644
[BAG CRINKLES]
277
00:18:17,699 --> 00:18:19,097
RANDY: Greg...
278
00:18:22,193 --> 00:18:23,277
Yeah?
279
00:18:24,982 --> 00:18:26,948
You're the best friend...
280
00:18:27,456 --> 00:18:29,565
that I've ever had.
281
00:18:30,587 --> 00:18:32,380
I'm serious, I...
282
00:18:32,405 --> 00:18:35,339
I don't know what's gonna happen
when we're done with this job,
283
00:18:35,364 --> 00:18:38,628
but I want to pledge myself to you.
284
00:18:39,664 --> 00:18:43,112
I will follow you anywhere.
285
00:18:43,137 --> 00:18:47,160
And... if you don't want
that, I'll leave...
286
00:18:47,185 --> 00:18:51,189
But be, like, on call, you know?
287
00:18:51,495 --> 00:18:52,832
You can keep my number,
288
00:18:52,857 --> 00:18:54,962
and then if you ever need anything,
289
00:18:54,987 --> 00:18:56,651
anything at all,
290
00:18:57,386 --> 00:18:58,839
you just call me.
291
00:18:59,566 --> 00:19:00,792
Okay.
292
00:19:00,817 --> 00:19:02,509
I'm serious. Like...
293
00:19:02,534 --> 00:19:05,245
Like any time, any place,
294
00:19:05,270 --> 00:19:08,901
like if someone's fucking with you,
295
00:19:09,160 --> 00:19:11,935
you just let me know
and I'll come running
296
00:19:11,960 --> 00:19:14,464
and I'll just fucking kill 'em!
297
00:19:15,968 --> 00:19:17,300
Sorry.
298
00:19:17,934 --> 00:19:20,400
I didn't... mean it like that.
299
00:19:20,425 --> 00:19:22,011
You know what I mean.
300
00:19:23,053 --> 00:19:24,405
Thank you.
301
00:19:24,430 --> 00:19:26,182
Thank you for...
302
00:19:26,207 --> 00:19:28,136
believing in me.
303
00:19:28,984 --> 00:19:31,550
I... I love you...
304
00:19:32,162 --> 00:19:33,747
a lot.
305
00:19:35,248 --> 00:19:36,706
[WHIMPERING] Thank you.
306
00:19:38,152 --> 00:19:39,565
Thank you.
307
00:19:41,489 --> 00:19:42,948
Thank you!
308
00:19:55,448 --> 00:19:58,901
NARRATOR: That night,
for the first time in years,
309
00:19:58,926 --> 00:20:01,354
Randy slept like a log,
310
00:20:01,913 --> 00:20:03,854
basking in the warm knowledge
311
00:20:03,879 --> 00:20:07,549
that he had finally found
his first true friend.
312
00:20:09,597 --> 00:20:10,979
Sleep, however,
313
00:20:11,004 --> 00:20:13,612
did not come so easily for Greg.
314
00:20:14,147 --> 00:20:16,357
He couldn't help but wonder,
315
00:20:16,382 --> 00:20:20,729
what does it really
mean to be a nice boy?
316
00:20:21,504 --> 00:20:25,925
Is it to help others,
no matter the cost to oneself?
317
00:20:25,950 --> 00:20:28,136
And though he didn't want to believe it,
318
00:20:28,161 --> 00:20:30,747
that maybe there was such a thing
319
00:20:30,772 --> 00:20:33,589
as being too nice.
320
00:20:33,614 --> 00:20:36,614
Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie
www.addic7ed.com
22575
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