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1
00:00:23,755 --> 00:00:25,755
["Home For The Holidays" playing]
2
00:00:31,255 --> 00:00:38,255
♪ Oh there's no place like home
For the holidays ♪
3
00:00:39,046 --> 00:00:45,005
♪ 'Cause no matter
How far away you roam ♪
4
00:00:45,088 --> 00:00:47,046
-[woman] Merry Christmas.
-Merry Christmas.
5
00:00:47,130 --> 00:00:52,630
[on radio] ♪ …Pine for the sunshine
Of a friendly gaze ♪
6
00:00:53,838 --> 00:00:58,505
♪ For the holidays, you can't beat home
Sweet home ♪
7
00:00:58,588 --> 00:00:59,421
[scoffs]
8
00:00:59,505 --> 00:01:00,921
[chattering]
9
00:01:02,046 --> 00:01:05,380
[male agent] And our kitchen connects to
a little dining room right over there.
10
00:01:05,463 --> 00:01:07,588
Now you mentioned you wanted
an open concept.
11
00:01:07,671 --> 00:01:10,755
-Cool, I am obsessed with open concept.
-Yes. [chuckles]
12
00:01:10,838 --> 00:01:12,755
Open is my favorite concept.
13
00:01:12,838 --> 00:01:15,796
Well, here they are,
Pam and Jeff McKenzie, the owners.
14
00:01:15,880 --> 00:01:18,880
I was just telling the Breckins
that they could probably knock down
15
00:01:18,963 --> 00:01:22,255
some of these walls
and make it one, big, open space.
16
00:01:22,338 --> 00:01:24,296
-Not mad at that. [laughs]
-Yes.
17
00:01:24,380 --> 00:01:26,130
Well, you just wanna be careful,
18
00:01:26,213 --> 00:01:29,005
'cause if those are load-baring walls
and you knock one down,
19
00:01:29,088 --> 00:01:30,546
the whole place could collapse.
20
00:01:30,630 --> 00:01:31,838
-Mmm. Bummer.
-Really?
21
00:01:31,921 --> 00:01:34,921
Um, it's not a Jenga tower, Jeff.
22
00:01:36,171 --> 00:01:38,380
[laughing] It's not a Jenga tower, Jeff.
23
00:01:39,380 --> 00:01:42,505
And Pam is a teacher
at Winnetka Elementary.
24
00:01:42,588 --> 00:01:45,213
Am I right? Yes.
The schools here are amazing.
25
00:01:46,005 --> 00:01:47,380
Correct, Jeff?
26
00:01:47,463 --> 00:01:52,713
Um, yeah. Some of the best in the state.
They are totally lit.
27
00:01:53,213 --> 00:01:54,421
-Aw.
-Oh. [chuckles]
28
00:01:54,505 --> 00:01:57,463
Especially since they put in
new metal detectors.
29
00:01:58,088 --> 00:01:59,588
-Oh.
-Okay.
30
00:01:59,671 --> 00:02:01,671
Jeff. What are you doing?
31
00:02:01,755 --> 00:02:03,130
Uh, Jeff, uh,
32
00:02:03,213 --> 00:02:05,963
could you go get some more
bottled water to everyone.
33
00:02:06,046 --> 00:02:07,255
Yep.
34
00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:11,796
Can you get some more bottled water?
35
00:02:11,880 --> 00:02:13,588
Ooh. Mm-hmm. Yep.
36
00:02:14,380 --> 00:02:16,296
[scoffs] Jeff.
37
00:02:16,380 --> 00:02:20,463
-[boy] Mum, I really have to pee.
-I cannot believe you need to go again.
38
00:02:20,546 --> 00:02:23,046
I told you to use the restroom
in the coffee shop.
39
00:02:23,130 --> 00:02:25,963
After Uncle Stu had been in there? Really?
40
00:02:26,046 --> 00:02:28,630
Did you see how many deviled eggs
he had for lunch?
41
00:02:28,713 --> 00:02:30,421
Oh, goodness. Um.
42
00:02:30,505 --> 00:02:32,421
You'll just have to wait till we get home.
43
00:02:32,505 --> 00:02:34,671
You sure about that? Do the maths.
44
00:02:34,755 --> 00:02:39,588
Six soda refills into one, tiny,
ten-year-old's bladder does not go.
45
00:02:39,671 --> 00:02:41,171
I'm-- [sighs]
46
00:02:41,255 --> 00:02:42,880
[groaning]
47
00:02:42,963 --> 00:02:43,963
[sighs]
48
00:02:46,421 --> 00:02:49,255
-Okay. I've got an idea.
-What?
49
00:02:49,338 --> 00:02:51,255
You're gonna have to pretend with Mummy.
50
00:02:51,338 --> 00:02:53,963
We're gonna have to pretend
we're going to buy a house.
51
00:02:55,630 --> 00:02:57,338
[toilet flushes]
52
00:03:01,755 --> 00:03:03,755
Ooh! Can I get one of those?
53
00:03:03,838 --> 00:03:05,963
Uh, that might be a question
for your parents,
54
00:03:06,046 --> 00:03:08,046
just 'cause there's a lot of sugar
in them, so…
55
00:03:08,130 --> 00:03:09,130
Oh. Fine.
56
00:03:09,880 --> 00:03:13,338
Wow, you're so tall.
You almost look like Frankenstein.
57
00:03:13,921 --> 00:03:18,046
Oh, you mean Frankenstein's monster.
Frankenstein is the doctor, FYI.
58
00:03:18,546 --> 00:03:19,755
[grunts]
59
00:03:19,838 --> 00:03:22,755
Uh. Cool dolls.
60
00:03:22,838 --> 00:03:25,463
[chuckles] Well, they're not mine.
61
00:03:25,546 --> 00:03:27,338
Um. They belonged to my mother.
62
00:03:28,505 --> 00:03:29,338
Sure they did.
63
00:03:30,296 --> 00:03:32,880
Oh! What's wrong with this one?
64
00:03:33,671 --> 00:03:34,921
Yeah, I don't know.
65
00:03:35,005 --> 00:03:39,671
But they're very delicate, so why don't
we just leave them right there.
66
00:03:40,171 --> 00:03:42,421
Oh. Little boy doesn't wanna share
his dolly?
67
00:03:43,380 --> 00:03:44,296
Excuse me?
68
00:03:44,380 --> 00:03:46,838
Ah, I get it. You're one of those guys.
69
00:03:47,588 --> 00:03:49,838
-What do you mean?
-I don't know. You tell me.
70
00:03:50,546 --> 00:03:52,421
-There you are.
-Oh! Hi, Mom.
71
00:03:52,505 --> 00:03:54,546
Doesn't he look like Frankenstein to you?
72
00:03:55,255 --> 00:03:58,088
I-- Max. I am so sorry.
73
00:03:58,171 --> 00:04:00,546
No, he doesn't look like Frankenstein.
74
00:04:00,630 --> 00:04:02,671
He looks like Frankenstein's monster.
75
00:04:02,755 --> 00:04:04,588
I'm sorry. Has he been bothering you?
76
00:04:04,671 --> 00:04:06,463
No. He's a delight.
77
00:04:07,005 --> 00:04:08,796
Aw, well, he has his moments.
78
00:04:08,880 --> 00:04:11,130
Ooh! Is that a Schneider Kinder?
79
00:04:11,213 --> 00:04:14,713
I saw these on Treasure Trunk,
that antiques show. I love that show.
80
00:04:15,838 --> 00:04:20,505
There was this elderly lady who'd bought
one at a garage sale for about $10.
81
00:04:20,588 --> 00:04:23,130
And then it ended up
going for about $5,000.
82
00:04:23,213 --> 00:04:27,005
Wow, 5,000 bucks
for an ugly, little porcelain kid.
83
00:04:27,546 --> 00:04:30,130
I didn't get half that
for selling my real kids.
84
00:04:30,213 --> 00:04:31,130
[groans]
85
00:04:31,213 --> 00:04:32,255
[chuckles]
86
00:04:33,338 --> 00:04:34,338
Yeah?
87
00:04:34,421 --> 00:04:36,463
-I think we should go home.
-Oh, yay.
88
00:04:36,546 --> 00:04:41,380
I can't wait to go home and share
one toilet with nine bloomin' cousins.
89
00:04:41,463 --> 00:04:44,546
Maxwell Johan Mercer.
What is with you today, hmm?
90
00:04:44,630 --> 00:04:46,838
Carol Ellen Mercer, take a guess?
91
00:04:46,921 --> 00:04:50,755
You know what? How's about we just spend
Christmas in Tokyo without you?
92
00:04:50,838 --> 00:04:53,213
-Great idea.
-[Carol] I'll leave Grammy with you.
93
00:04:53,296 --> 00:04:55,755
-[Max] Oh, yes, Grammy.
-[Carol] Then you'll have to go to bed
94
00:04:55,838 --> 00:04:58,130
at 6:00 p.m. every evening
and help her with her bath.
95
00:04:58,213 --> 00:05:00,713
Oh, that sounds great. Where do I sign up?
96
00:05:01,796 --> 00:05:03,838
No McDonald's for you on the way home.
97
00:05:03,921 --> 00:05:05,296
What? Mum.
98
00:05:05,963 --> 00:05:08,338
You can't promise
a kid McDonald's and not deliver.
99
00:05:08,421 --> 00:05:09,838
Ooh.
100
00:05:09,921 --> 00:05:11,421
What a McShame.
101
00:05:13,630 --> 00:05:14,630
[sighs]
102
00:05:16,005 --> 00:05:17,213
[drink lid pops]
103
00:05:20,838 --> 00:05:22,921
Ooh. That's good.
104
00:05:25,296 --> 00:05:27,880
-[grunts]
-Darling, home. Car. Now. Come on.
105
00:05:40,671 --> 00:05:43,505
I'm sorry I lashed out at you,
but I just don't see why
106
00:05:43,588 --> 00:05:46,671
we have to share our house
with every stupid relative we have.
107
00:05:46,755 --> 00:05:48,463
I mean, it's Christmas.
108
00:05:48,546 --> 00:05:51,796
Exactly, and Christmas
is all about spending time with family.
109
00:05:52,838 --> 00:05:56,380
Even if everything they do
makes you anxious or furious and insane.
110
00:05:57,630 --> 00:05:59,713
Because that is the meaning of Christmas.
111
00:06:00,296 --> 00:06:01,130
[sighs]
112
00:06:01,921 --> 00:06:03,005
[chuckles]
113
00:06:07,338 --> 00:06:09,755
All right, McKenzies.
We have chummed the--
114
00:06:10,255 --> 00:06:13,880
Chummed the waters. And I think
we've gotten a couple of nibbles.
115
00:06:13,963 --> 00:06:16,338
Now I know you guys wanna sell
as soon as possible,
116
00:06:16,421 --> 00:06:18,671
but I don't think
we're gonna get any major bites
117
00:06:18,755 --> 00:06:20,255
until after the holiday season.
118
00:06:21,171 --> 00:06:22,171
I don't know.
119
00:06:22,255 --> 00:06:26,380
The guy Jeff saw looking through my
underwear drawer seemed interested, no?
120
00:06:27,130 --> 00:06:30,671
Yes, but I don't think
in buying the house. But don't worry.
121
00:06:30,755 --> 00:06:33,921
The Breckins are circling the boat,
so I'll stay on top of them.
122
00:06:34,463 --> 00:06:35,796
[vehicle honks, laughing]
123
00:06:36,338 --> 00:06:37,505
The kids are home.
124
00:06:38,130 --> 00:06:40,713
What's happening?
Why are we scared of the kids?
125
00:06:40,796 --> 00:06:42,630
We haven't told them
we're selling the house.
126
00:06:46,046 --> 00:06:47,380
Hey!
127
00:06:47,963 --> 00:06:48,880
Oh, hi.
128
00:06:49,505 --> 00:06:52,338
Hi, guys. I thought you were gonna call
after the movie was over.
129
00:06:52,421 --> 00:06:54,546
Oh, no, we just took an Uber.
130
00:06:57,838 --> 00:06:59,380
-You good?
-Oh, yeah.
131
00:06:59,921 --> 00:07:01,838
Yeah, I'm doing some thinking, you know?
132
00:07:01,921 --> 00:07:04,338
This is a very good spot for thinking.
133
00:07:05,921 --> 00:07:06,921
Hmm.
134
00:07:07,838 --> 00:07:09,838
-Mm-hmm.
-Mm-hmm.
135
00:07:10,463 --> 00:07:12,713
-I love this space.
-Oh.
136
00:07:13,213 --> 00:07:14,338
Who are you?
137
00:07:15,338 --> 00:07:19,088
-I'm, uh--
-This is Gavin. And he is, um--
138
00:07:19,171 --> 00:07:20,755
Your personal trainer. That-- Yes.
139
00:07:20,838 --> 00:07:24,630
-I'm gonna be training your flabby dad.
-Hmm?
140
00:07:25,213 --> 00:07:26,046
Balloons?
141
00:07:26,130 --> 00:07:29,588
These are a gesture to say congratulations
for taking your first step.
142
00:07:29,671 --> 00:07:31,963
Congratulations, man.
You got to take care of yourself.
143
00:07:32,046 --> 00:07:34,505
We're gonna get rid of
that jelly belly, Dad. Am I right?
144
00:07:34,588 --> 00:07:36,255
Get rid of the jelly belly.
145
00:07:36,338 --> 00:07:38,921
We're gonna put some muscle
on that flat, pancake butt.
146
00:07:39,005 --> 00:07:40,713
-Thank you, Gavin.
-Yeah.
147
00:07:40,796 --> 00:07:43,880
I'm just gonna take off real quick,
and I'm gonna see y'all later.
148
00:07:43,963 --> 00:07:46,296
And I'm looking forward to that butt.
149
00:07:47,463 --> 00:07:49,296
[children shouting, chattering]
150
00:07:51,505 --> 00:07:52,505
[man shouts]
151
00:07:52,588 --> 00:07:53,546
[children arguing]
152
00:07:53,630 --> 00:07:56,880
-Can I have a go? Can I have a go?
-You do it!
153
00:07:56,963 --> 00:07:58,546
-Please?
-No, you!
154
00:07:59,421 --> 00:08:01,546
-Please, just one quick go.
-[shrieks] Ow!
155
00:08:02,213 --> 00:08:05,546
-Max, clean up all this crap right now.
-Sorry, Dad.
156
00:08:05,630 --> 00:08:06,880
I just stepped on a Lego.
157
00:08:06,963 --> 00:08:09,171
It's the most painful thing in the world.
158
00:08:09,671 --> 00:08:12,005
-[video game blasting]
-[boy] I'm winning over here.
159
00:08:12,088 --> 00:08:14,171
-[TV blaring]
-[children squealing]
160
00:08:14,255 --> 00:08:18,088
I understand that our flight
was canceled and rebooked.
161
00:08:18,171 --> 00:08:21,588
No, my problem is that you have split
our family onto two separate flights.
162
00:08:21,671 --> 00:08:22,671
[children arguing]
163
00:08:22,755 --> 00:08:25,838
I'm sorry, can you speak up, please?
It's very loud in here.
164
00:08:25,921 --> 00:08:28,588
[boy 2] You can never catch me. Jerk!
165
00:08:29,088 --> 00:08:30,671
-[distant screaming]
-[grunts]
166
00:08:30,755 --> 00:08:32,963
Don't touch me, perv. I'm your sister.
167
00:08:33,046 --> 00:08:34,088
[children screaming]
168
00:08:35,755 --> 00:08:38,671
-Homebot, what year is it in Japan?
-[machine beeps]
169
00:08:38,755 --> 00:08:40,505
[Homebot speaking German]
170
00:08:40,588 --> 00:08:43,588
Guys, seriously, who keeps
swapping the Homebot to German?
171
00:08:43,671 --> 00:08:45,505
-Hey!
-Homebot, nein! Nein!
172
00:08:45,588 --> 00:08:46,588
Ha ha!
173
00:08:46,671 --> 00:08:49,046
-Guys, Homebot is not a toy--
-[toy gun rattling]
174
00:08:49,130 --> 00:08:52,213
No, no, stop! Stop it!
Homebot is not a toy!
175
00:08:52,296 --> 00:08:54,046
I'm sick of this bullsh--
176
00:08:56,963 --> 00:09:00,796
We don't have to tell Santa
about that, right, Goobie?
177
00:09:01,463 --> 00:09:03,838
-[children yelling]
-You need to project when you speak.
178
00:09:04,421 --> 00:09:07,338
-Sir, I am not taking a tone with you.
-Mum.
179
00:09:07,421 --> 00:09:11,546
I'm simply saying that you have put me
on a different flight to my children.
180
00:09:11,630 --> 00:09:13,421
-Mum.
-The computer won't let you?
181
00:09:13,505 --> 00:09:15,921
-What is the computer? Is it God?
-[man] Guys, guys--
182
00:09:16,005 --> 00:09:18,671
-Mum. Mum!
-[man] Guess what? Spanking's on the menu!
183
00:09:18,755 --> 00:09:22,463
Max, please! You are not
the only person in this house, darling.
184
00:09:23,671 --> 00:09:24,838
I wish I was.
185
00:09:24,921 --> 00:09:27,880
Boys, don't make me run.
I have tendinitis.
186
00:09:27,963 --> 00:09:29,255
Move, Max.
187
00:09:29,338 --> 00:09:31,963
-Lay down your arms!
-[Carol] Americans, please!
188
00:09:32,046 --> 00:09:34,171
[children shrieking]
189
00:09:34,255 --> 00:09:35,880
-[sighs]
-[Carol] Pizza! Lovely.
190
00:09:35,963 --> 00:09:38,213
-How many do you have?
-Three pepperonis and three pineapples.
191
00:09:38,296 --> 00:09:39,963
-Let's just get--
-Everybody loves pineapple.
192
00:09:40,046 --> 00:09:42,255
[woman] I've still gotta do some packing
and some laundry.
193
00:09:42,338 --> 00:09:44,130
[Carol] Everybody, pizza!
194
00:09:44,213 --> 00:09:48,838
Can you come and eat, please?
Seriously. We're gonna be up at 5:00 a.m.
195
00:09:48,921 --> 00:09:50,505
[faintly] Stop, please!
196
00:09:50,588 --> 00:09:52,588
[Carol and children arguing]
197
00:09:56,921 --> 00:09:59,963
[Carol] Stop. You'll break your neck.
And look at your suitcases.
198
00:10:01,005 --> 00:10:02,255
[sighs]
199
00:10:16,546 --> 00:10:18,130
-[crashing]
-[chuckling]
200
00:10:18,213 --> 00:10:20,796
We expect major, major delays
at the airport.
201
00:10:20,880 --> 00:10:23,255
We don't know when O'Hare is
gonna be able to get back…
202
00:10:23,338 --> 00:10:25,546
What was that today? Metal detectors?
203
00:10:25,630 --> 00:10:29,921
What? They have them.
I'm sorry. Is that not "lit"?
204
00:10:30,005 --> 00:10:33,880
Okay, we are trying to
sell the house, Jeff.
205
00:10:33,963 --> 00:10:36,171
You're the one who said
it's our only option,
206
00:10:36,255 --> 00:10:38,088
so I need you on my team, okay?
207
00:10:38,921 --> 00:10:41,213
I know. I know. I just--
208
00:10:41,296 --> 00:10:45,588
Today, it felt real, and I didn't like it.
209
00:10:45,671 --> 00:10:47,130
You think I do?
210
00:10:47,213 --> 00:10:50,088
I always thought we'd get old and weird
in this house.
211
00:10:50,171 --> 00:10:52,421
We've done the math.
We can't afford it on my salary alone.
212
00:10:52,505 --> 00:10:55,296
Yeah, but I crushed my interview with IBM.
213
00:10:55,380 --> 00:10:58,005
You crushed it. Crushed it!
214
00:10:58,755 --> 00:11:00,463
But that was three months ago.
215
00:11:00,546 --> 00:11:04,880
Any company with a brain needs
a good data migration manager, okay?
216
00:11:04,963 --> 00:11:07,713
I wouldn't trust an algorithm
to port over a MySQL database
217
00:11:07,796 --> 00:11:10,130
to a new server
without any human oversight.
218
00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:13,630
-[sighs]
-Me neither.
219
00:11:14,463 --> 00:11:17,296
But it might take a while
to find another job.
220
00:11:17,380 --> 00:11:20,588
You said it yourself.
The data migration boom is over.
221
00:11:21,880 --> 00:11:23,046
It's the cloud.
222
00:11:24,463 --> 00:11:25,546
The cloud.
223
00:11:26,963 --> 00:11:30,255
So I need you to get on board, okay?
224
00:11:31,171 --> 00:11:34,171
Come on. It's our last Christmas here.
225
00:11:34,255 --> 00:11:36,255
Let's try to enjoy it.
226
00:11:39,130 --> 00:11:41,505
Tons of fun.
227
00:11:41,588 --> 00:11:42,838
[blows raspberry]
228
00:11:43,588 --> 00:11:45,130
[snoring softly]
229
00:11:46,046 --> 00:11:48,213
[phone ringing]
230
00:11:48,296 --> 00:11:50,046
[snoring continues]
231
00:11:55,421 --> 00:11:57,255
[phone vibrating]
232
00:11:58,005 --> 00:11:59,630
[grumbles]
233
00:12:03,671 --> 00:12:04,671
Hunter?
234
00:12:04,755 --> 00:12:08,921
[Hunter] Hey, Pama-lama-ding-dong!
Guess what? We're outside!
235
00:12:09,005 --> 00:12:10,463
[line disconnects]
236
00:12:11,380 --> 00:12:13,005
-Get up.
-[groans] Queen Latifah.
237
00:12:13,088 --> 00:12:15,046
-Get up. Your brother's here.
-[grunts]
238
00:12:15,130 --> 00:12:16,546
[groans]
239
00:12:16,630 --> 00:12:17,630
God.
240
00:12:23,630 --> 00:12:24,463
[horn honks]
241
00:12:24,546 --> 00:12:26,046
[sighs]
242
00:12:29,588 --> 00:12:31,421
[groans] Damn it.
243
00:12:33,546 --> 00:12:34,963
Gosh, I miss the snow!
244
00:12:35,921 --> 00:12:38,796
-Hey. What are you doing--
-Doing here?
245
00:12:38,880 --> 00:12:41,755
We flew in early to get ahead of
snowpocalypse or whatever.
246
00:12:41,838 --> 00:12:43,421
Snowmageddon.
247
00:12:43,505 --> 00:12:45,338
Snowpocalypse is better.
248
00:12:45,421 --> 00:12:47,588
Hey, babe. Hurry up.
249
00:12:48,755 --> 00:12:50,255
-Coming, baby!
-Who's that? Aah.
250
00:12:50,338 --> 00:12:52,338
Pamuel L. Jackson! Bring it in.
251
00:12:52,421 --> 00:12:53,921
Hi, Hunter. Hi.
252
00:12:54,671 --> 00:12:56,588
Here she is!
253
00:12:57,296 --> 00:12:59,171
-[woman gasps]
-[Hunter] Oh. Careful.
254
00:13:10,130 --> 00:13:11,296
-Okay! Hey.
-Oh!
255
00:13:11,380 --> 00:13:14,380
Oh, we would've called, but we thought
it would be fun to surprise you.
256
00:13:14,463 --> 00:13:15,546
-Yeah.
-Are you surprised?
257
00:13:15,630 --> 00:13:18,046
We are surprised. We're very surprised.
258
00:13:18,130 --> 00:13:19,588
I know. It's so cute here.
259
00:13:19,671 --> 00:13:21,671
-[girl] Aunt Mei!
-So quaint-- Hi!
260
00:13:21,755 --> 00:13:22,755
Hi, my adorables.
261
00:13:22,838 --> 00:13:24,463
I didn't think you were coming
till tomorrow.
262
00:13:24,546 --> 00:13:25,546
I'm here now.
263
00:13:25,630 --> 00:13:29,255
We all thought she was coming tomorrow,
but she's come in the dead of night.
264
00:13:29,963 --> 00:13:31,755
-Hey, Ollie, look who it is.
-[music playing]
265
00:13:31,838 --> 00:13:35,255
-It's Uncle Jeff. Hey. [laughs]
-Hey, buddy!
266
00:13:35,338 --> 00:13:37,046
-Ollie, look! Snow!
-[Ollie coughing]
267
00:13:37,963 --> 00:13:39,171
Good to see you, buddy.
268
00:13:39,255 --> 00:13:40,796
He has gotten so big.
269
00:13:40,880 --> 00:13:42,171
Okay!
270
00:13:42,255 --> 00:13:44,463
Oh, my gosh, I'm so sorry.
271
00:13:44,546 --> 00:13:47,380
It's the last one.
It's the last one. I promise, okay?
272
00:13:48,046 --> 00:13:49,255
That's enough.
273
00:13:49,338 --> 00:13:52,088
Mind giving our luggage a tuggage?
I wanna get that guy situated.
274
00:13:53,421 --> 00:13:54,505
[Jeff sighs]
275
00:13:57,338 --> 00:13:58,463
Wow.
276
00:13:59,338 --> 00:14:00,880
Yeah, we had a great year.
277
00:14:02,088 --> 00:14:04,046
Oh, great arm, buddy!
278
00:14:04,130 --> 00:14:06,671
-Ollie, that is not a toy.
-I'll get it.
279
00:14:06,755 --> 00:14:08,088
[speaking Spanish]
280
00:14:09,421 --> 00:14:10,963
We're teaching him Spanish!
281
00:14:11,046 --> 00:14:13,421
What did I tell you about taking
other people's stuff?
282
00:14:13,505 --> 00:14:16,838
-Where do you have us set up?
-Oh, in the den on the pullout.
283
00:14:16,921 --> 00:14:20,713
[laughs] Okay.
In the den on the pullout. Yeah, okay.
284
00:14:42,338 --> 00:14:44,838
Wow, that lady wasn't kidding.
285
00:14:48,171 --> 00:14:49,130
What?
286
00:15:02,171 --> 00:15:04,963
-[doll cries]
-What-- Where is it?
287
00:15:06,588 --> 00:15:08,046
[panting]
288
00:15:10,421 --> 00:15:14,588
That brat kid stole my doll.
My mom's doll.
289
00:15:16,213 --> 00:15:17,296
[sighs]
290
00:15:18,213 --> 00:15:19,588
How am I gonna find this kid?
291
00:15:20,505 --> 00:15:22,213
Maxwell Johan Mercer.
292
00:15:22,296 --> 00:15:23,755
Carol Ellen Mercer.
293
00:15:24,880 --> 00:15:26,130
Bingo.
294
00:15:39,005 --> 00:15:41,380
[woman through GPS]
You have arrived at your destination.
295
00:15:41,463 --> 00:15:43,630
[man] Get in the car!
296
00:15:44,255 --> 00:15:47,796
You need to get in a car now.
We are so late. You have no idea.
297
00:15:47,880 --> 00:15:50,005
-[boy] Gotcha!
-What was that for?
298
00:15:50,088 --> 00:15:51,505
-[man] I legit might cry right now.
-Don't!
299
00:15:51,588 --> 00:15:53,296
I need that for cheerleading, you cretin.
300
00:15:53,380 --> 00:15:54,880
[man] Son of a sandwich!
301
00:15:54,963 --> 00:15:58,213
-Get in the car!
-[horn honking]
302
00:15:58,296 --> 00:16:00,588
[distant] We're gonna miss the flight,
you guys. Come on!
303
00:16:00,671 --> 00:16:02,963
Uh, hi, my dude. Um...
304
00:16:03,046 --> 00:16:04,630
Is Carol Mercer home?
305
00:16:04,713 --> 00:16:06,713
No, Carol took the early flight.
She booked the cars.
306
00:16:06,796 --> 00:16:09,171
That's why they're in her name.
These are our cars. We need to go.
307
00:16:09,255 --> 00:16:10,838
Will you be a mensch?
308
00:16:10,921 --> 00:16:12,630
-Put that in the back for us, huh?
-Uh…
309
00:16:12,713 --> 00:16:15,463
Bethany, is this a good time
for a selfie in front of an Uber?
310
00:16:15,546 --> 00:16:17,755
-#ill-judged.
-[sighs]
311
00:16:19,255 --> 00:16:21,213
Text that to me.
Okay, guys, get in the car!
312
00:16:21,296 --> 00:16:22,671
Give your stuff to the driver.
313
00:16:22,755 --> 00:16:25,088
-If I miss the duty-free shop…
-I'm not the driver.
314
00:16:25,171 --> 00:16:27,296
…I am going to shave somebody's head.
That's real.
315
00:16:27,380 --> 00:16:29,630
Blake, you do realize
they sell alcohol in Japan?
316
00:16:29,713 --> 00:16:31,213
Hey, big news, Stu.
317
00:16:31,296 --> 00:16:33,546
Duty-free shops sell
three-foot Toblerones.
318
00:16:33,630 --> 00:16:36,505
Hey, buddy. I'm gonna give that to you
and ask you to take real good care of it.
319
00:16:36,588 --> 00:16:38,505
It's got my sleep apnea machine in there.
320
00:16:38,588 --> 00:16:41,630
Do you know if Carol's son, Max, is home?
321
00:16:42,338 --> 00:16:45,338
If you don't see him,
he's halfway to Tokyo by now. All right.
322
00:16:47,255 --> 00:16:49,838
Is that everyone?
The cars are leaving now.
323
00:16:53,088 --> 00:16:54,380
[typing]
324
00:16:54,463 --> 00:16:55,546
[phone chimes]
325
00:16:56,088 --> 00:16:57,755
[girl] Everybody, say cheese.
326
00:16:58,463 --> 00:16:59,880
Everybody, wave.
327
00:17:11,921 --> 00:17:14,088
Somebody that lives here, what's the code?
328
00:17:14,171 --> 00:17:15,963
-Your mamma!
-Thank you, Ricky!
329
00:17:16,046 --> 00:17:18,255
Guess who's number one
to get his head shaved?
330
00:17:19,088 --> 00:17:20,213
It's Ricky! Code!
331
00:17:20,296 --> 00:17:23,421
-One, one, one, two.
-One, one, one, two. Brilliant.
332
00:17:23,505 --> 00:17:24,713
That's a bad code.
333
00:17:27,380 --> 00:17:28,380
[electronic voice] Armed.
334
00:17:28,463 --> 00:17:29,630
[groans]
335
00:17:31,713 --> 00:17:33,255
Here we go. All right.
336
00:17:36,463 --> 00:17:38,463
I'm sorry,
but I really do need to talk to Carol.
337
00:17:38,546 --> 00:17:42,546
Yes. Don't worry. I'll make sure that
Carol gives you five stars in the app.
338
00:17:42,630 --> 00:17:43,963
Reputation is everything.
339
00:17:45,463 --> 00:17:48,546
Oh, hey, wait! Wait!
340
00:17:50,505 --> 00:17:51,588
[groans]
341
00:17:55,713 --> 00:17:57,588
What the heck are you looking at?
342
00:17:59,630 --> 00:18:00,838
[grunts]
343
00:18:04,338 --> 00:18:06,796
I'm sorry. I'm having a bad day.
344
00:18:15,588 --> 00:18:16,630
There it is.
345
00:18:19,255 --> 00:18:21,130
Oh, my…
346
00:18:24,880 --> 00:18:26,755
One, one, one, two.
347
00:18:34,171 --> 00:18:35,755
[heart thumping]
348
00:18:40,255 --> 00:18:41,505
[siren blares]
349
00:18:48,630 --> 00:18:51,755
-[radio: "Mele Kalikimaka" playing]
-[horn honks]
350
00:18:57,380 --> 00:18:58,880
Okay, it's just a dog.
351
00:18:58,963 --> 00:19:01,380
I'm being ridiculous. I've gone insane.
352
00:19:01,463 --> 00:19:03,963
I'm a good, normal man.
I'm gonna talk to Pam.
353
00:19:04,671 --> 00:19:05,671
Pam.
354
00:19:05,755 --> 00:19:07,380
I'm just a neighbor helping.
355
00:19:07,463 --> 00:19:09,630
I water their dogs-- plants.
356
00:19:09,713 --> 00:19:13,296
I'm a friend of Carol's. A friend of--
Carol Ellen Mercer is her name.
357
00:19:13,380 --> 00:19:14,380
I gotta call Pam.
358
00:19:17,796 --> 00:19:18,963
[chattering]
359
00:19:22,296 --> 00:19:23,630
Where is he?
360
00:19:23,713 --> 00:19:25,088
I'm not sure where he is.
361
00:19:33,255 --> 00:19:34,380
Oh, great.
362
00:19:35,546 --> 00:19:36,713
I'm sorry. Sorry.
363
00:19:37,588 --> 00:19:38,713
[Hunter] Oh.
364
00:19:38,796 --> 00:19:41,046
-Here we go. Sorry. Hi.
-Is everything okay?
365
00:19:41,130 --> 00:19:43,296
-Yeah, fine. Thank you.
-What are you wearing?
366
00:19:43,380 --> 00:19:45,380
-I didn't have time to change.
-You look ridiculous.
367
00:19:45,463 --> 00:19:48,046
-Thank you.
-[conductor] Season's greetings, seniors.
368
00:19:48,130 --> 00:19:50,963
I apologize for the delay,
but we all saw the reason why.
369
00:19:51,046 --> 00:19:54,755
My D-flat has decided
that the world runs on his time.
370
00:19:55,630 --> 00:19:59,046
Without further ado,
I give you the Ne'er-Do-Bells.
371
00:19:59,130 --> 00:20:00,755
Hands on bells.
372
00:20:02,005 --> 00:20:04,088
-Raise the bells.
-[bells ring lightly]
373
00:20:04,921 --> 00:20:06,630
Two, three, four.
374
00:20:06,713 --> 00:20:09,338
[bells ring]
375
00:20:09,421 --> 00:20:11,046
[singing "Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer"]
376
00:20:11,130 --> 00:20:12,755
-So did you get my voice mail?
-Yes.
377
00:20:12,838 --> 00:20:14,880
All of this happened
in the last two hours?
378
00:20:14,963 --> 00:20:17,421
Yeah, the doll is in that house.
I saw it in his jacket.
379
00:20:17,505 --> 00:20:19,921
-Why didn't you tell me this?
-I thought I would handle it myself.
380
00:20:20,005 --> 00:20:22,380
And your way of handling it
was breaking and entering?
381
00:20:22,463 --> 00:20:23,755
Just entering. I had the key.
382
00:20:23,838 --> 00:20:26,463
-It's still against the law, Jeff.
-[shouting] Like a lightbulb.
383
00:20:26,546 --> 00:20:28,296
Oh, my gosh. This is so terrible.
384
00:20:28,380 --> 00:20:30,380
[carolers] ♪ All of the other reindeer ♪
385
00:20:30,463 --> 00:20:32,046
But that's why I didn't do it, Columbo.
386
00:20:32,130 --> 00:20:33,213
Well, good.
387
00:20:33,296 --> 00:20:35,213
-Like Pinocchio.
-Pinocchio.
388
00:20:35,296 --> 00:20:36,921
What are we gonna do now?
We need that doll.
389
00:20:37,005 --> 00:20:39,046
I know we do, okay? Just let me think.
390
00:20:39,130 --> 00:20:42,421
♪ Join in any reindeer games ♪
391
00:20:42,505 --> 00:20:44,046
-[stammers] Uh, like Monopoly!
-Yeah.
392
00:20:44,130 --> 00:20:45,505
-That's too late.
-Yeah.
393
00:20:45,588 --> 00:20:47,546
-Boo. Sounds like garbage.
-[singing resumes]
394
00:20:47,630 --> 00:20:49,671
-Herman, no. None of that.
-Well, it does.
395
00:20:50,588 --> 00:20:51,755
You stink.
396
00:20:51,838 --> 00:20:53,463
♪ Santa came to say ♪
397
00:20:53,546 --> 00:20:54,796
Here's what we're gonna do.
398
00:20:54,880 --> 00:20:57,213
We will wait until they
come back from vacation,
399
00:20:57,296 --> 00:21:00,463
and then I will go over there.
I will tell the mom everything,
400
00:21:00,546 --> 00:21:02,046
and we'll get the doll back.
401
00:21:02,630 --> 00:21:03,880
[whispers] Get it together.
402
00:21:03,963 --> 00:21:05,588
Are you sure we should wait?
403
00:21:05,671 --> 00:21:08,963
Yes, Jeff. I don't want my husband
spending Christmas in jail.
404
00:21:09,046 --> 00:21:10,130
-[clears throat] Yippee!
-Hey!
405
00:21:10,213 --> 00:21:11,713
Wow.
406
00:21:11,796 --> 00:21:14,171
But the--
Our future is in that house, Pam.
407
00:21:14,255 --> 00:21:17,546
Come on. What could happen to it
in an empty house?
408
00:21:17,630 --> 00:21:21,755
-[singing ends]
-[bell rings continuously]
409
00:21:21,838 --> 00:21:22,921
It's okay, Martha.
410
00:21:24,171 --> 00:21:26,380
Don't blame her. That's you.
411
00:21:26,463 --> 00:21:27,588
Sorry.
412
00:21:27,671 --> 00:21:30,921
-Shame on you. This is my life choice.
-[bell rings lightly]
413
00:21:34,088 --> 00:21:35,213
[groans]
414
00:21:43,213 --> 00:21:45,588
[Max] Hello?
415
00:21:46,796 --> 00:21:47,880
Mum?
416
00:21:50,255 --> 00:21:51,338
Dad?
417
00:21:53,671 --> 00:21:54,796
Uncle Blake?
418
00:21:56,130 --> 00:21:57,463
Uncle Stu?
419
00:22:09,921 --> 00:22:12,005
It's a Christmas miracle.
420
00:22:13,755 --> 00:22:14,838
[chuckles]
421
00:22:18,296 --> 00:22:21,505
-[game character screams]
-[groans] Oh, come on, mate!
422
00:22:26,630 --> 00:22:28,255
["Christmas All Over Again" playing]
423
00:22:28,338 --> 00:22:30,713
♪ Well it's Christmas time ♪
424
00:22:30,796 --> 00:22:31,796
[laughs]
425
00:22:31,880 --> 00:22:33,130
♪ Again ♪
426
00:22:34,005 --> 00:22:35,005
Ugh.
427
00:22:35,088 --> 00:22:38,630
♪ Decorations are all hung by the fire ♪
428
00:22:38,713 --> 00:22:39,796
Oh!
429
00:22:40,588 --> 00:22:44,380
All right, Internet. Show me your worst.
430
00:22:44,463 --> 00:22:45,921
[monitor beeps]
431
00:22:46,463 --> 00:22:47,880
Well played, Mum and Dad.
432
00:22:47,963 --> 00:22:49,005
♪ Ringing out ♪
433
00:22:49,088 --> 00:22:52,588
♪ And it's Christmas ♪
434
00:22:52,671 --> 00:22:57,380
♪ All over again ♪
435
00:22:59,130 --> 00:23:01,171
♪ Yeah again ♪
436
00:23:04,171 --> 00:23:06,588
♪ And all over town ♪
437
00:23:07,338 --> 00:23:09,796
♪ Little kids gonna get down ♪
438
00:23:09,880 --> 00:23:10,880
[moans]
439
00:23:11,588 --> 00:23:14,505
[screaming]
440
00:23:16,963 --> 00:23:18,130
♪ Hey ♪
441
00:23:24,796 --> 00:23:27,088
♪ Everybody's singing ♪
442
00:23:28,296 --> 00:23:30,630
♪ All the bells are ringing out ♪
443
00:23:30,713 --> 00:23:33,130
[screams]
444
00:23:34,296 --> 00:23:37,130
♪ All over ♪
445
00:23:37,213 --> 00:23:38,380
[moans]
446
00:23:38,463 --> 00:23:40,130
♪ Again ♪
447
00:23:40,213 --> 00:23:41,463
[people chatter]
448
00:23:41,546 --> 00:23:45,130
[Jeff] Pam, that doll is worth $238,000,
449
00:23:45,213 --> 00:23:49,046
and is it really a crime to steal
something that was stolen from you?
450
00:23:49,130 --> 00:23:52,921
Yes, that's what O.J. got in trouble for.
The second time.
451
00:23:53,005 --> 00:23:55,755
-Okay, I just think--
-Look, I know that you wanna save the day
452
00:23:55,838 --> 00:23:58,046
because you feel bad
about losing your job.
453
00:23:58,130 --> 00:23:59,630
What's wrong with that?
454
00:23:59,713 --> 00:24:02,630
The fact that you will feel a lot worse
telling your kids you're…
455
00:24:03,630 --> 00:24:05,630
[whispers]
in jail for committing a felony.
456
00:24:05,713 --> 00:24:08,380
No, it's a misdemeanor.
Yeah, I looked it up.
457
00:24:08,463 --> 00:24:11,213
That is evidence. Do you know
how to clear your search history?
458
00:24:11,296 --> 00:24:13,588
[chuckles] Yeah. I mean,
well, I probably--
459
00:24:13,671 --> 00:24:15,505
-I-I'm sure I could figure it out.
-Okay, listen.
460
00:24:15,588 --> 00:24:18,463
We made a plan.
Let's just stick to it, okay?
461
00:24:18,546 --> 00:24:20,171
-[girl] Mom, Dad, look at us.
-[Hunter] Hey!
462
00:24:20,255 --> 00:24:22,046
-Hey!
-You like 'em? Look at Ollie.
463
00:24:22,130 --> 00:24:23,171
He's a little elf.
464
00:24:23,255 --> 00:24:26,005
He's so smart. We handed 'em to him.
He put 'em right on.
465
00:24:26,088 --> 00:24:27,255
Oh, amazing.
466
00:24:27,338 --> 00:24:30,380
Um, could I get some,
uh, reindeer antlers for Pam
467
00:24:30,963 --> 00:24:33,546
and a pair of the little elf glasses
for my brother?
468
00:24:33,630 --> 00:24:35,713
[train whistles, sings]
469
00:24:37,713 --> 00:24:39,796
-Ollie, we need big smiles from you, okay?
-Look at Mommy.
470
00:24:39,880 --> 00:24:41,838
-[cries]
-[Hunter] Big smiles, Ollie. Big smiles.
471
00:24:41,921 --> 00:24:44,046
Little guy comes alive
in front of the camera.
472
00:24:44,130 --> 00:24:45,213
[Ollie wails]
473
00:24:45,296 --> 00:24:48,046
Um, okay, cute photo much?
474
00:24:48,130 --> 00:24:50,213
[chuckles] I mean, come on. Look at that.
475
00:24:50,296 --> 00:24:52,880
Look at what's happened there.
It's an adorable image.
476
00:24:52,963 --> 00:24:55,338
-It's cute. It's super cute.
-[crying continues]
477
00:24:55,421 --> 00:24:56,921
It's a special memory.
478
00:24:57,005 --> 00:24:59,380
And since we are paper-free
at the North Pole,
479
00:24:59,463 --> 00:25:00,838
you can actually use this code
480
00:25:00,921 --> 00:25:03,380
to download that special memory
right from the cloud.
481
00:25:03,463 --> 00:25:07,671
Wh-- So, you're not even using
solid-state storage on-site?
482
00:25:07,755 --> 00:25:10,838
-I don't know what that means.
-[Jeff] I'll tell you what it means.
483
00:25:10,921 --> 00:25:13,671
What it means is, you're entirely
at the whim of a hosted service provider
484
00:25:13,755 --> 00:25:15,255
for virtualization and backup.
485
00:25:15,338 --> 00:25:16,713
Sir, I'm not a woman in tech.
486
00:25:16,796 --> 00:25:19,088
-I'm a woman in memories.
-You know, it's not a video game.
487
00:25:19,171 --> 00:25:20,463
-She doesn't care.
-I don't understand
488
00:25:20,546 --> 00:25:22,838
why you'd be so cavalier
with something this important.
489
00:25:22,921 --> 00:25:23,963
[girl] What is this?
490
00:25:25,046 --> 00:25:28,130
[Mei] New fashion, honey. We gotta--
We gotta switch up these colors.
491
00:25:28,213 --> 00:25:32,005
-[gasps] Mom, look at how cute this is.
-So cute.
492
00:25:32,088 --> 00:25:34,296
-[chuckles] Can I get it?
-Oh.
493
00:25:35,255 --> 00:25:37,505
Oh, honey, no.
I'm sorry, that's way too much.
494
00:25:37,588 --> 00:25:40,838
Okay, no, no, no. I can't stand
the thought of you not having that.
495
00:25:40,921 --> 00:25:43,880
Consider it an early Christmas present
from Auntie Mei-Mei.
496
00:25:43,963 --> 00:25:45,463
You're gonna look so hot. Come on.
497
00:25:45,546 --> 00:25:47,880
-Mei.
-[girl giggling] Are you kidding?
498
00:25:48,380 --> 00:25:49,380
[phone beeps]
499
00:25:49,463 --> 00:25:50,671
[Mei] This, please.
500
00:25:53,463 --> 00:25:54,630
[Mei] A top for you.
501
00:25:59,130 --> 00:26:02,921
[man on TV] I'll tell you what
I am gonna give you, Snakes.
502
00:26:03,005 --> 00:26:06,588
I'm gonna give you 'til the count of ten
503
00:26:07,380 --> 00:26:11,671
to get your ugly, yellow, no-good keister…
504
00:26:11,755 --> 00:26:13,921
-Ugh, this is garbage.
-…off my spaceship…
505
00:26:14,005 --> 00:26:16,880
I don't know why they're always
trying to remake the classics.
506
00:26:16,963 --> 00:26:18,630
Never as good as the originals.
507
00:26:18,713 --> 00:26:20,171
You want some more P-corn, C-Train?
508
00:26:20,255 --> 00:26:21,755
-Oh, yeah, that'd be great.
-All right.
509
00:26:23,171 --> 00:26:26,046
-[man on TV] One, two…
-I don't remember this guy.
510
00:26:27,088 --> 00:26:28,921
Whoa! Ho, ho!
511
00:26:29,005 --> 00:26:32,046
Nearly lost your house there,
Pama-lama-ding-dong.
512
00:26:42,088 --> 00:26:44,130
["Somewhere In My Memory" playing]
513
00:26:51,796 --> 00:26:53,088
[Jeff] Hey, honey.
514
00:26:53,171 --> 00:26:55,338
-Put the topper on.
-Should we put it on together?
515
00:26:55,421 --> 00:26:57,880
-Yeah.
-One, two, three. [gasps]
516
00:26:57,963 --> 00:26:59,713
[girl] Santa came! Santa came!
517
00:26:59,796 --> 00:27:02,421
[boy] Santa came! Santa came! Santa came!
518
00:27:02,505 --> 00:27:03,880
I'm so excited.
519
00:27:03,963 --> 00:27:05,755
Santa came!
520
00:27:05,838 --> 00:27:07,171
-Oh, my God!
-Santa came.
521
00:27:07,255 --> 00:27:08,588
-Come here.
-Oh, my God!
522
00:27:12,671 --> 00:27:14,255
Home sweet home.
523
00:27:16,380 --> 00:27:18,380
Mom, you gotta save our house.
524
00:27:18,463 --> 00:27:20,380
Seriously, Mom,
will you just get the doll?
525
00:27:20,463 --> 00:27:22,505
It's just entering, Pam. We have the key.
526
00:27:22,588 --> 00:27:24,421
Pam, you have to call me.
527
00:27:24,505 --> 00:27:26,005
-Hi, Gavin…
-Come and get me.
528
00:27:26,088 --> 00:27:28,296
Now, Fräulein. Now!
529
00:27:29,755 --> 00:27:32,046
I will, you ugly, little boy!
530
00:27:32,130 --> 00:27:35,088
[man on TV]
Keep the change, ya filthy earthling.
531
00:27:35,171 --> 00:27:37,255
Well, I think you're very handsome.
532
00:27:39,838 --> 00:27:41,046
Let's go.
533
00:27:41,130 --> 00:27:42,838
-Where are we going?
-To get some milk.
534
00:27:42,921 --> 00:27:45,088
Oh, well, there's plenty of milk
in the fridge, Pammy.
535
00:27:45,171 --> 00:27:48,296
No, you guys have a ton of milk.
You're all set on milk.
536
00:27:48,380 --> 00:27:50,671
Uh, eggnog. We need--
We're gonna get some eggnog.
537
00:27:50,755 --> 00:27:53,380
-You've seen the weather, right?
-[Mei] It's snowmageddon out there.
538
00:27:53,463 --> 00:27:55,505
Yeah, snowpocalypse, babe.
Snowpocalypse is better.
539
00:27:55,588 --> 00:28:00,005
-Are you gonna be okay to drive?
-Yes, yes, yes, yes.
540
00:28:01,171 --> 00:28:03,171
Yes. We are okay to drive.
541
00:28:03,255 --> 00:28:04,963
[wind howling]
542
00:28:06,505 --> 00:28:08,255
[Pam] Honey, your instincts were right.
543
00:28:08,338 --> 00:28:11,796
We can't leave a winning lottery ticket
in some stranger's house.
544
00:28:11,880 --> 00:28:15,130
Yeah, yeah. We are doing this.
545
00:28:15,213 --> 00:28:17,171
Oh, honey, that's Beechtree.
546
00:28:17,255 --> 00:28:18,338
[tires screeching]
547
00:28:18,421 --> 00:28:21,463
[both yelling]
548
00:28:21,546 --> 00:28:23,088
[both yell]
549
00:28:23,171 --> 00:28:26,921
Honey, steer into the slide.
550
00:28:27,005 --> 00:28:29,588
N-No, y-you steer into a skid.
551
00:28:37,213 --> 00:28:40,880
Pam, I watched an episode
of Locked Up earlier today on demand,
552
00:28:40,963 --> 00:28:41,963
and…
553
00:28:42,838 --> 00:28:44,630
I can't go to jail, honey.
554
00:28:44,713 --> 00:28:47,255
I wouldn't last 30 seconds in gen pop.
555
00:28:48,046 --> 00:28:49,255
Gen pop?
556
00:28:49,838 --> 00:28:51,046
General population.
557
00:28:51,630 --> 00:28:53,421
It's where fresh fish get got.
558
00:28:56,380 --> 00:28:57,380
Jeff.
559
00:28:58,921 --> 00:29:01,005
I need you to focus.
560
00:29:01,088 --> 00:29:04,671
Nobody here is getting got.
561
00:29:04,755 --> 00:29:09,338
The only thing getting got is that doll.
562
00:29:09,421 --> 00:29:12,838
So let's go get it!
563
00:29:14,921 --> 00:29:15,963
[door bangs]
564
00:29:17,088 --> 00:29:18,630
-Can you unlock the door?
-Yeah.
565
00:29:18,713 --> 00:29:20,213
-[lock clicks]
-Sorry.
566
00:29:20,921 --> 00:29:22,130
[door closes]
567
00:29:27,588 --> 00:29:28,630
[Pam exhales]
568
00:29:30,005 --> 00:29:31,171
Don't move.
569
00:29:34,421 --> 00:29:35,713
Why are we standing still?
570
00:29:35,796 --> 00:29:39,880
Because the light is motion-activated,
and if we stand still, it'll turn off.
571
00:29:39,963 --> 00:29:43,630
Yeah, but it's just gonna turn back on
when we move again.
572
00:29:43,713 --> 00:29:46,005
So, why are we standing still now?
573
00:29:46,088 --> 00:29:48,255
I don't know. I'm not good at this.
574
00:29:48,338 --> 00:29:49,338
I know.
575
00:29:51,088 --> 00:29:52,630
[Jeff groans]
576
00:29:53,255 --> 00:29:55,046
[Jeff grunts, inhales shakily]
577
00:30:02,005 --> 00:30:03,380
[machine beeps]
578
00:30:04,088 --> 00:30:05,130
And we're criminals.
579
00:30:05,213 --> 00:30:07,338
-[Pam] Go.
-[Alarm rings, buzzes]
580
00:30:07,421 --> 00:30:08,755
[electronic voice] Alarm.
581
00:30:09,505 --> 00:30:10,630
It's loud.
582
00:30:10,713 --> 00:30:12,546
[alarm beeping, buzzing continues]
583
00:30:12,630 --> 00:30:13,630
[electronic voice] Alarm.
584
00:30:13,713 --> 00:30:15,921
[Jeff] Two, two, two, one.
585
00:30:16,005 --> 00:30:17,463
Be careful. Don't slip.
586
00:30:17,546 --> 00:30:19,255
-[Jeff whispers] Okay.
-[beeps]
587
00:30:20,880 --> 00:30:22,921
[Pam] They did leave in a hurry.
588
00:30:23,005 --> 00:30:24,463
[beeps]
589
00:30:24,546 --> 00:30:26,588
-Where'd you see the kid's jacket?
-It was right here.
590
00:30:27,255 --> 00:30:29,088
Well, we tried.
591
00:30:29,171 --> 00:30:31,963
A jacket can't just get up and walk away.
It has to be here somewhere.
592
00:30:32,046 --> 00:30:34,505
Hey, don't bail on me.
593
00:30:35,338 --> 00:30:36,921
We're a team.
594
00:30:37,005 --> 00:30:38,046
O-Okay.
595
00:30:38,838 --> 00:30:41,796
Him? I knew he was weird.
596
00:30:41,880 --> 00:30:45,588
All we have to do
is find that ugly, little boy.
597
00:30:45,671 --> 00:30:50,588
And then some crazy, old lady
will pay us $200,000 for him.
598
00:30:50,671 --> 00:30:53,630
Two-hundred grand
just to put him in a room,
599
00:30:53,713 --> 00:30:57,380
clean him off with her little brushes,
and show him off to all her friends.
600
00:30:57,463 --> 00:31:04,171
[laughs] May I feed him
a piece of this gross, old lady candy?
601
00:31:04,255 --> 00:31:06,130
Of course. That's all he eats.
602
00:31:06,213 --> 00:31:07,546
[groans]
603
00:31:07,630 --> 00:31:09,005
-[laughing]
-[retches]
604
00:31:09,088 --> 00:31:10,755
Oh, Gertrude. He's perfect.
605
00:31:10,838 --> 00:31:12,671
Worth every penny.
606
00:31:13,296 --> 00:31:15,130
-[Max retches]
-[grunts, laughs]
607
00:31:15,213 --> 00:31:18,088
[laughing]
608
00:31:18,171 --> 00:31:21,088
[whimpers]
609
00:31:23,296 --> 00:31:26,255
Five grand for an ugly, porcelain kid.
610
00:31:26,338 --> 00:31:29,713
I didn't get half that for my real kids.
611
00:31:31,005 --> 00:31:33,380
We're not leaving here without him.
612
00:31:33,463 --> 00:31:34,963
I don't think so.
613
00:31:37,421 --> 00:31:38,588
[floorboards creaking]
614
00:31:40,630 --> 00:31:41,630
The jacket.
615
00:31:42,880 --> 00:31:45,380
-Homebot, call the police.
-[Homebot beeps]
616
00:31:45,463 --> 00:31:48,963
[Homebot speaking German]
617
00:31:49,046 --> 00:31:50,296
There's someone home.
618
00:31:50,380 --> 00:31:52,796
[Homebot speaking German]
619
00:31:52,880 --> 00:31:54,505
And she's German.
620
00:31:54,588 --> 00:31:57,463
[Homebot speaking German]
621
00:31:57,546 --> 00:31:58,880
[Jeff repeats German]
622
00:31:58,963 --> 00:32:01,755
Okay, on three, we run. One.
623
00:32:06,671 --> 00:32:07,713
[grunts]
624
00:32:08,213 --> 00:32:09,380
-Ow, ow.
-[siren wails]
625
00:32:11,588 --> 00:32:13,088
Whoa, that was fast.
626
00:32:13,171 --> 00:32:16,171
-[siren wailing continues]
-[Homebot speaking German]
627
00:32:20,171 --> 00:32:23,755
[radio chatter]
628
00:32:30,130 --> 00:32:31,463
Evening.
629
00:32:31,546 --> 00:32:32,546
Hi.
630
00:32:36,046 --> 00:32:37,296
Hello, Officer.
631
00:32:37,963 --> 00:32:40,171
[scoffs] Did somebody slip and fall?
[chuckles]
632
00:32:41,421 --> 00:32:43,421
Ha! Busted.
633
00:32:43,505 --> 00:32:45,088
Is this your residence?
634
00:32:45,171 --> 00:32:47,088
Well, I certainly hope so.
635
00:32:47,171 --> 00:32:51,796
Otherwise, I've been cleaning somebody
else's sinks for the past 14 years.
636
00:32:51,880 --> 00:32:53,005
[chuckles]
637
00:32:53,088 --> 00:32:54,338
[chuckles] Sinks.
638
00:32:54,421 --> 00:32:56,130
Is there a problem, Officer?
639
00:32:56,213 --> 00:32:58,296
Honey, why don't you go warm up the car?
640
00:32:59,963 --> 00:33:03,421
We got a call.
Your home alarm's been triggered.
641
00:33:04,046 --> 00:33:07,255
Yeah, well,
the code is our anniversary, so…
642
00:33:08,005 --> 00:33:10,630
you think he's gonna remember that?
[chuckles]
643
00:33:11,463 --> 00:33:14,880
I'm sure you never forget
your anniversary, do you, Officer?
644
00:33:14,963 --> 00:33:17,880
-Oh, no, no. [chuckles]
-[car door closes]
645
00:33:18,880 --> 00:33:20,796
-No ring on this finger, ma'am.
-[engine starts]
646
00:33:20,880 --> 00:33:23,213
No one's been able to tame
this wild stallion.
647
00:33:23,296 --> 00:33:24,380
[sniffs]
648
00:33:24,463 --> 00:33:28,088
Well, I envy the filly
who eventually ropes you in.
649
00:33:29,505 --> 00:33:31,338
Another time, another place.
650
00:33:33,005 --> 00:33:35,880
A whole lot of what-ifs, Officer.
651
00:33:35,963 --> 00:33:39,838
[chuckles] Anyway, I'm so sorry
we wasted your time.
652
00:33:41,380 --> 00:33:43,880
Is there anything else
I can help you with tonight?
653
00:33:44,630 --> 00:33:46,130
No, don't worry 'bout it. No.
654
00:33:47,130 --> 00:33:50,630
Unless you want me to arrest your husband
for missing your anniversary, huh?
655
00:33:50,713 --> 00:33:52,005
[both laugh]
656
00:33:52,088 --> 00:33:55,838
Is it bad if a part of me says,
"Yeah, I do want that"?
657
00:33:55,921 --> 00:33:58,213
[both laughing]
658
00:33:58,296 --> 00:33:59,588
What's so funny?
659
00:33:59,671 --> 00:34:01,338
-[Pam laughs]
-Get it?
660
00:34:02,505 --> 00:34:04,838
What are you waiting for? Detain them.
661
00:34:04,921 --> 00:34:06,505
-Now--
-[Max, faintly] Detain them!
662
00:34:07,755 --> 00:34:08,796
What was that?
663
00:34:16,755 --> 00:34:18,755
Nah, nah, we're all good.
664
00:34:20,380 --> 00:34:24,421
What say you and your hubby
have a nice holiday.
665
00:34:25,463 --> 00:34:26,505
And a good night.
666
00:34:26,588 --> 00:34:28,838
-Wait, you're letting them get away.
-[sirens wailing]
667
00:34:30,005 --> 00:34:32,505
And-- And then those people
broke into my house,
668
00:34:32,588 --> 00:34:33,963
-and I-I-I--
-Whoa, whoa.
669
00:34:34,046 --> 00:34:37,380
-…think they're trying to kidnap me or--
-Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
670
00:34:37,463 --> 00:34:41,796
Are you saying your parents
left you home alone?
671
00:34:41,880 --> 00:34:44,796
-Alone? Alone? Alone?
-[bars sliding]
672
00:34:46,046 --> 00:34:48,671
[pants]
673
00:34:48,755 --> 00:34:51,213
[whispers] Why did you have to
tell anyone, Max?
674
00:34:51,296 --> 00:34:54,630
Why did you have to open your big mouth?
675
00:34:54,713 --> 00:34:56,588
[pants]
676
00:34:56,671 --> 00:34:58,421
[cries]
677
00:34:59,505 --> 00:35:01,588
Maybe the police is a bad idea.
678
00:35:06,296 --> 00:35:07,296
Nice couple.
679
00:35:08,713 --> 00:35:09,880
[Max] You know what?
680
00:35:10,671 --> 00:35:14,921
This whole house-to-myself thing might not
have been the best idea, Homebot.
681
00:35:15,005 --> 00:35:16,755
[Homebot beeps, speaks in German]
682
00:35:17,338 --> 00:35:19,713
[groans] How do you
switch back to English?
683
00:35:19,796 --> 00:35:21,630
Changing language to English.
684
00:35:21,713 --> 00:35:23,463
Oh, that was easy.
685
00:35:24,046 --> 00:35:27,005
Homebot, call Mum.
686
00:35:27,088 --> 00:35:31,630
I'm sorry. Voice calling is not available
on this Homebot device.
687
00:35:31,713 --> 00:35:33,338
[Max] So what do I do, Homebot?
688
00:35:33,421 --> 00:35:36,505
I can't call my mum,
and if I tell the police or anyone else,
689
00:35:36,588 --> 00:35:38,505
they'll put my parents in jail.
690
00:35:38,588 --> 00:35:43,046
A blue whale's veins are big enough
for an adult human to swim through.
691
00:35:43,130 --> 00:35:45,505
How is that supposed to help?
692
00:35:45,588 --> 00:35:47,921
What time is it in Tokyo?
693
00:35:48,005 --> 00:35:52,921
It is 11:37 a.m. tomorrow in Tokyo, Japan.
694
00:35:53,588 --> 00:35:54,755
Night, Homebot.
695
00:35:55,588 --> 00:35:56,838
[Homebot] Good night, Max.
696
00:35:58,171 --> 00:35:59,796
[Carol shouting] What?
697
00:35:59,880 --> 00:36:02,046
Wha-- Are you-- Are you serious?
698
00:36:02,130 --> 00:36:04,046
So at no point you thought
to check with me?
699
00:36:04,130 --> 00:36:06,380
You just assumed
that Max was on the other flight?
700
00:36:06,463 --> 00:36:08,630
We didn't take a census. I--
701
00:36:08,713 --> 00:36:11,880
Stu, did you assume he was on the plane?
702
00:36:11,963 --> 00:36:15,213
[Stu] Carol, I swear to you. That boy
was not in the house when we left.
703
00:36:15,296 --> 00:36:17,463
And where do you think he was, Stu?
704
00:36:17,546 --> 00:36:20,213
At the-- At the Four freaking Seasons?
705
00:36:20,296 --> 00:36:21,671
He had fish curry on the plane.
706
00:36:21,755 --> 00:36:24,005
We probably got a hard 30
before we're gonna see Stu.
707
00:36:24,088 --> 00:36:26,546
You do realize that,
because of you, I'm in Japan,
708
00:36:26,630 --> 00:36:30,838
and my ten-- ten-year-old son
is at home by himself?
709
00:36:30,921 --> 00:36:33,838
Yeah, but-- but first-world problems,
you know? [chuckles]
710
00:36:33,921 --> 00:36:36,671
-First-world problems?
-Stop it. Listen, listen, stop it!
711
00:36:36,755 --> 00:36:37,921
I got that at Brookstone.
712
00:36:38,880 --> 00:36:40,005
Dad's five minutes away.
713
00:36:40,088 --> 00:36:42,921
He's at the travel desk
and could only get one ticket home.
714
00:36:43,005 --> 00:36:45,546
-Yes, hello. Beechtree Lane.
-[gasps]
715
00:36:45,630 --> 00:36:46,921
-With two--
-Beech with two E's.
716
00:36:47,005 --> 00:36:48,463
Can you send an officer right away?
717
00:36:48,546 --> 00:36:50,296
[Stu] Did somebody call the house?
718
00:36:50,380 --> 00:36:53,671
No, because we don't have a landline.
Nobody has a landline anymore.
719
00:36:53,755 --> 00:36:57,338
Yes, Stu, nobody has a landline anymore
because it's not 1993.
720
00:36:57,421 --> 00:37:02,088
What's your next idea? Should I beep him
after I listen to the new MC Hammer joint?
721
00:37:02,171 --> 00:37:04,171
What about the neighbors?
Call one of the neighbors.
722
00:37:04,255 --> 00:37:07,046
-Activate the prayer chain.
-We don't know the neighbors, Blake.
723
00:37:07,130 --> 00:37:10,255
We only moved there two months ago.
I don't think we even know their names.
724
00:37:10,338 --> 00:37:13,005
Everybody we know is back in London.
725
00:37:13,088 --> 00:37:14,505
Well, Mum, where are you going?
726
00:37:14,588 --> 00:37:18,630
I'm going to go to the airport, darling,
because I can't sit here while my son is--
727
00:37:18,713 --> 00:37:20,630
I mean-- God, where is my passport?
728
00:37:20,713 --> 00:37:23,380
-It's in your hand.
-It's in my hand. It's in my hand.
729
00:37:23,463 --> 00:37:27,130
See, Carol? Under stress, people make
mistakes that we should forgive.
730
00:37:27,213 --> 00:37:29,796
You know? People forget passports.
People forget--
731
00:37:29,880 --> 00:37:31,796
-[yells] No!
-Stop it.
732
00:37:31,880 --> 00:37:34,963
Oh, darling, happy Christmas.
Mummy loves you very much. Okay?
733
00:37:35,046 --> 00:37:36,921
[Stu] Uh, what's happening?
Did Carol leave?
734
00:37:37,005 --> 00:37:38,130
Travel safe.
735
00:37:38,213 --> 00:37:39,546
[Stu] What-- What's going on?
736
00:37:44,380 --> 00:37:45,505
[laughs]
737
00:37:45,588 --> 00:37:46,755
-[man grunts]
-[laughs]
738
00:37:46,838 --> 00:37:49,588
[male dispatcher] Car 18, car 18.
You near Lincoln Heights?
739
00:37:49,671 --> 00:37:52,505
We got a call about a minor,
one Maxwell Mercer.
740
00:37:52,588 --> 00:37:55,546
Parents are on vacation
and think he might have been left behind.
741
00:37:55,630 --> 00:37:58,546
-Address is 36 Beechtree Lane.
-Oh, you gotta be kidding me.
742
00:37:59,421 --> 00:38:00,921
[clears throat] Um…
743
00:38:01,921 --> 00:38:05,755
You can ignore that.
That is a prank call. Over.
744
00:38:05,838 --> 00:38:07,505
-[male dispatcher] Prank call?
-Yep.
745
00:38:08,463 --> 00:38:12,713
Listen, when I was a kid,
my family went on vacation.
746
00:38:13,338 --> 00:38:15,963
We forgot my little brother Kevin.
747
00:38:17,546 --> 00:38:18,588
Twice.
748
00:38:20,213 --> 00:38:24,380
He called in the 289 to mess with me.
The idiot does it every year.
749
00:38:25,213 --> 00:38:27,088
[male dispatcher]
Are, uh, you sure about that?
750
00:38:27,171 --> 00:38:28,588
Yes, I'm sure about that!
751
00:38:28,671 --> 00:38:34,338
I know for a fact that there is
no forgotten child at that address.
752
00:38:34,421 --> 00:38:38,088
I was just there
for a bogus home-alarm call, okay?
753
00:38:39,130 --> 00:38:43,921
Guess what? The place had
a McCallister Home Alarm system.
754
00:38:44,005 --> 00:38:48,796
Oh, gee, a coincidence? I don't think so.
755
00:38:49,963 --> 00:38:55,296
[male dispatcher] Yeah. So can you
just drive by and check it out?
756
00:38:59,088 --> 00:39:01,463
[Officer McCallister] Ten-four.
I'm on my way now.
757
00:39:08,296 --> 00:39:12,463
Nice try, Kevin. Nice try.
758
00:39:13,380 --> 00:39:14,755
Trout sniffer.
759
00:39:24,755 --> 00:39:26,796
[chattering]
760
00:39:26,880 --> 00:39:28,005
Hey, guys.
761
00:39:29,046 --> 00:39:31,630
Hey. We saved you some seats
'cause you were running late.
762
00:39:31,713 --> 00:39:33,546
-People are still coming in.
-[Jeff] Hi.
763
00:39:33,630 --> 00:39:36,296
Hey, we saved you a seat
'cause you were running late to church.
764
00:39:36,380 --> 00:39:37,380
Yep. Thanks.
765
00:39:37,463 --> 00:39:39,213
I've got an app
that will ping your assistant,
766
00:39:39,296 --> 00:39:41,338
let you know when you're running late.
I'll send it to you.
767
00:39:41,421 --> 00:39:42,963
-Great.
-Okay. Thank you.
768
00:39:45,296 --> 00:39:47,963
Hey, so that dress is really…
769
00:39:49,213 --> 00:39:50,213
Hmm?
770
00:39:50,296 --> 00:39:52,421
-Her shoulder is so bare.
-You see the full--
771
00:39:52,505 --> 00:39:53,921
-You see her full shoulder.
-Yeah.
772
00:39:54,005 --> 00:39:57,255
-They grow up so fast, don't they?
-Oh, Gavin. What are you doing here?
773
00:39:57,338 --> 00:39:59,755
Well, it's Christmas Eve. It's the day
that everybody goes to church.
774
00:39:59,838 --> 00:40:00,838
-Am I right?
-Yeah.
775
00:40:00,921 --> 00:40:04,005
Peace be unto you. Peace be unto you.
Is that how you say it? Peace be unto--
776
00:40:04,088 --> 00:40:05,088
Oh, this is nice.
777
00:40:26,921 --> 00:40:29,255
You dudes have been ghosting me.
What up with that?
778
00:40:29,838 --> 00:40:31,755
-No, we're--
-But I've got some news.
779
00:40:31,838 --> 00:40:34,338
Houston, we have an offer.
780
00:40:34,921 --> 00:40:36,130
-What?
-Um. [clears throat]
781
00:40:36,838 --> 00:40:40,463
Um, it's an offer for your dad's,
uh, personal training.
782
00:40:40,546 --> 00:40:42,463
And since you already paid
for that jelly belly,
783
00:40:42,546 --> 00:40:44,921
I'm gonna throw in some abs and thighs.
That's what that is.
784
00:40:45,505 --> 00:40:47,213
-Thank you.
-Great.
785
00:40:47,296 --> 00:40:53,213
Hey, Chris, honey, why don't you go
put that, uh, toy in the toy-drive area.
786
00:40:53,296 --> 00:40:55,671
Yeah, we're so proud of you.
We really are.
787
00:40:57,213 --> 00:40:58,213
[gasps]
788
00:40:59,546 --> 00:41:02,838
Well, I'm definitely a child in need.
Need of this.
789
00:41:02,921 --> 00:41:04,296
-Can I help you?
-Oh, yes.
790
00:41:04,380 --> 00:41:06,130
Can I get a shopping cart, please?
791
00:41:06,213 --> 00:41:08,130
-Mmm?
-Shopping cart.
792
00:41:09,255 --> 00:41:10,588
Oh! [laughs]
793
00:41:10,671 --> 00:41:12,005
No, sweetheart.
794
00:41:12,088 --> 00:41:15,463
These toys are for children
less fortunate than you.
795
00:41:15,546 --> 00:41:19,255
Ah, okay.
Thought it was too good to be true.
796
00:41:19,338 --> 00:41:21,046
[Max] Whoa, cool.
797
00:41:21,130 --> 00:41:22,713
Thank you, young man.
798
00:41:22,796 --> 00:41:26,796
And I hope you both have a very,
very happy Christmas.
799
00:41:26,880 --> 00:41:29,463
-That's unlikely.
-Why? What's wrong? Parent trouble?
800
00:41:29,546 --> 00:41:30,713
[sighs] Yeah.
801
00:41:30,796 --> 00:41:32,130
[scoffs] Tell me about it.
802
00:41:32,213 --> 00:41:34,338
They think I don't notice
that they're stressed,
803
00:41:34,421 --> 00:41:35,963
but it's super obvious.
804
00:41:36,046 --> 00:41:39,838
Some weird guy keeps showing up
pretending to be a personal trainer.
805
00:41:39,921 --> 00:41:41,921
So? What do you say?
806
00:41:42,005 --> 00:41:44,380
-What-- Who-- Who made this offer?
-Oh, the Breckins.
807
00:41:44,463 --> 00:41:46,463
Remember the young couple from the city?
808
00:41:46,546 --> 00:41:49,546
Yeah, so they need to sign the contract
before the new year.
809
00:41:49,630 --> 00:41:51,546
Something about a tax thing.
810
00:41:51,630 --> 00:41:53,796
-We can't do that.
-That's impossible.
811
00:41:53,880 --> 00:41:56,546
Yeah, rich people. Am I right?
We're the worst.
812
00:41:57,130 --> 00:42:00,838
[sighs] But listen, we're not gonna get
a better offer than this.
813
00:42:00,921 --> 00:42:04,338
So, why don't you take the holiday,
think it over and get back to me.
814
00:42:04,421 --> 00:42:07,755
All right? No presh.
Well, maybe a little presh.
815
00:42:07,838 --> 00:42:11,005
[chuckles] All right, you know,
it's a lot of presh, actually.
816
00:42:11,088 --> 00:42:13,088
All right, cool. Merry Christmas.
817
00:42:13,171 --> 00:42:15,671
You know what? Can I give you
a couple of my business cards?
818
00:42:15,755 --> 00:42:17,880
Yeah. Gavin Washington. I do real estate.
819
00:42:17,963 --> 00:42:20,005
At least you're with your mum and dad.
820
00:42:20,088 --> 00:42:23,213
Mine have gone to Tokyo.
I'm totally on my own.
821
00:42:23,296 --> 00:42:24,838
That's the coolest thing ever.
822
00:42:24,921 --> 00:42:29,921
I thought it would be,
and for about an hour, it was.
823
00:42:30,005 --> 00:42:33,755
But now I'm just lonely.
824
00:42:34,463 --> 00:42:36,630
Here. Have this.
825
00:42:36,713 --> 00:42:39,130
Sounds like you deserve it
as much as anybody.
826
00:42:39,213 --> 00:42:41,338
-Merry Christmas.
-You too.
827
00:42:41,421 --> 00:42:44,630
Enjoy it with your family.
That's what makes it special.
828
00:42:47,546 --> 00:42:48,671
Nice kid.
829
00:42:50,171 --> 00:42:54,046
Thank you. You're a kind little boy.
830
00:42:54,130 --> 00:42:57,880
I think that Santa's gonna bring you
everything you want this year.
831
00:42:57,963 --> 00:43:01,005
That'd be nice, but to be honest,
832
00:43:01,088 --> 00:43:04,213
all I really want is my mum and dad back.
833
00:43:04,296 --> 00:43:08,005
Oh, dear. Well, when did you lose them?
834
00:43:08,088 --> 00:43:09,921
Um, two days ago.
835
00:43:10,005 --> 00:43:14,755
Oh. Right at Christmas?
You poor little thing.
836
00:43:14,838 --> 00:43:16,713
[stammers] But who's taking care of you?
837
00:43:16,796 --> 00:43:21,338
Uh, it's just me and Goobie at home,
but we're getting by all right.
838
00:43:21,421 --> 00:43:24,255
[priest] For Zion's sake,
I will not keep silent…
839
00:43:24,338 --> 00:43:26,046
Pam. Pam, it's the kid.
840
00:43:26,671 --> 00:43:27,963
[Pam gasps]
841
00:43:28,630 --> 00:43:31,546
You're right. It is. Who's the old lady?
842
00:43:32,213 --> 00:43:34,421
Oh, at the open house, the kid's mom said
843
00:43:34,505 --> 00:43:37,546
she was gonna leave the kid behind
with the grandmother.
844
00:43:37,630 --> 00:43:39,588
I can't believe
she went through with that.
845
00:43:39,671 --> 00:43:42,755
So grandma's the German.
846
00:43:42,838 --> 00:43:45,088
Grandma's the German.
847
00:43:47,046 --> 00:43:48,755
[Jeff] All right. So what's the plan?
848
00:43:48,838 --> 00:43:52,713
It's perfect. We go now while
they're not home and get our doll back.
849
00:43:52,796 --> 00:43:56,255
The way old ladies drive, we'll be in
and out before they leave the parking lot.
850
00:43:57,088 --> 00:44:00,463
[tires screeching]
851
00:44:01,046 --> 00:44:04,255
Wow, I need to come to church more often.
852
00:44:13,296 --> 00:44:14,338
[people chatter]
853
00:44:17,755 --> 00:44:19,546
[Pam] The street's too hot right now.
854
00:44:19,630 --> 00:44:21,005
We'll wait till it gets dark.
855
00:44:21,088 --> 00:44:22,505
We'll go around back.
856
00:44:23,130 --> 00:44:25,130
Okay, Axel Foley.
857
00:44:25,630 --> 00:44:26,671
[crowd chatters]
858
00:44:26,755 --> 00:44:29,838
[PA: ticket agent]
Standby... [continues in Japanese]
859
00:44:29,921 --> 00:44:31,505
[baby laughing]
860
00:44:33,755 --> 00:44:36,046
[baby babbling, laughing]
861
00:44:37,588 --> 00:44:43,671
-[PA system dings]
-Standby. [continues in Japanese]
862
00:44:43,755 --> 00:44:45,796
-Sorry, did you just hear stand-- standby?
-Huh?
863
00:44:46,380 --> 00:44:50,838
Sorry, sorry, sorry. Excuse me, excuse me,
excuse me. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
864
00:44:50,921 --> 00:44:51,963
Um…
865
00:44:53,796 --> 00:44:56,380
Sorry, uh, sorry. Uh, konnichiwa.
866
00:44:56,463 --> 00:44:57,546
[stammers]
867
00:44:57,630 --> 00:45:02,171
When will the-- [stammers]
the stand-- the standby seats,
868
00:45:02,255 --> 00:45:04,421
um, be announced? When?
869
00:45:04,505 --> 00:45:05,755
A-Announced?
870
00:45:05,838 --> 00:45:07,421
[microphone feedback]
871
00:45:07,505 --> 00:45:11,296
Ma'am, I'd be more than happy to help you
after you stand in the line behind you.
872
00:45:11,380 --> 00:45:13,505
Thank you, and happy season.
873
00:45:15,255 --> 00:45:19,088
I am trying to get home to my son,
874
00:45:19,171 --> 00:45:22,255
who's alone and scared,
and he needs his mother.
875
00:45:22,338 --> 00:45:24,713
So I need you to answer my question
right now.
876
00:45:26,963 --> 00:45:30,171
Standby seat assignments will be announced
after the check-in window closes
877
00:45:30,255 --> 00:45:32,421
approximately one hour before departure.
878
00:45:34,380 --> 00:45:35,505
Thank you.
879
00:45:36,005 --> 00:45:37,005
And sorry.
880
00:45:37,838 --> 00:45:38,880
And sorry.
881
00:45:38,963 --> 00:45:42,880
Oh, not a problem.
Thank you for flying with us.
882
00:45:44,588 --> 00:45:45,588
Hi.
883
00:45:46,213 --> 00:45:47,421
So we're doing this?
884
00:45:47,505 --> 00:45:48,880
Yeah, just act casual.
885
00:45:50,421 --> 00:45:51,838
-Just going for a walk.
-Yeah.
886
00:45:51,921 --> 00:45:56,130
[Jeff] It's just a stroll through
people's backyards a-at night.
887
00:45:56,213 --> 00:45:58,130
Through some undergrowth.
888
00:45:58,213 --> 00:46:00,421
-It's the most natural thing in the world.
-Yeah.
889
00:46:03,130 --> 00:46:04,921
[Jeff] Do you know where you're going?
890
00:46:05,005 --> 00:46:06,588
Yes. Now follow me.
891
00:46:08,005 --> 00:46:11,005
[priest] …you shall be a crown of beauty
in the hands of the Lord.
892
00:46:11,088 --> 00:46:12,296
-[phone beeps]
-Hey, where are they?
893
00:46:12,380 --> 00:46:15,713
"Forgot to preheat the oven.
Be back soon."
894
00:46:16,296 --> 00:46:18,588
-That's a two-person job?
-I don't know.
895
00:46:18,671 --> 00:46:20,421
-[woman] Shh.
-Oh, look. It's starting.
896
00:46:20,505 --> 00:46:23,380
-Oh, here we go.
-Oh, look at Abby. She looks so good.
897
00:46:23,463 --> 00:46:25,671
[choir singing] ♪ O, holy night! ♪
898
00:46:25,755 --> 00:46:30,296
♪ The stars are brightly shining ♪
899
00:46:30,380 --> 00:46:32,213
♪ It is the night… ♪
900
00:46:32,296 --> 00:46:33,296
This is it.
901
00:46:33,380 --> 00:46:37,671
♪ Of the dear Savior's birth ♪
902
00:46:37,755 --> 00:46:39,546
[Jeff] Why's the wall so high?
903
00:46:39,630 --> 00:46:42,338
It's not like it's Buckingham Palace.
904
00:46:42,421 --> 00:46:44,338
Okay. Here's what we'll do.
905
00:46:44,421 --> 00:46:47,630
I'm gonna boost you up, and then when you
get to the top, you'll lift me up.
906
00:46:47,713 --> 00:46:49,755
-Do you think you can do that?
-Yeah.
907
00:46:49,838 --> 00:46:50,838
Okay.
908
00:46:50,921 --> 00:46:52,755
-[Jeff grunts]
-Okay, okay.
909
00:46:52,838 --> 00:46:53,838
[Pam] Okay. Ready?
910
00:46:53,921 --> 00:46:55,463
-[Pam] Okay.
-[both groan]
911
00:46:55,546 --> 00:46:59,838
♪ Fall on your knees ♪
912
00:46:59,921 --> 00:47:01,755
-[Pam grunting]
-[grunts]
913
00:47:01,838 --> 00:47:03,755
[Jeff speaks indistinctly] Just-- Whoa!
914
00:47:03,838 --> 00:47:05,213
-[Pam] Just-- Ow!
-[grunts]
915
00:47:05,296 --> 00:47:08,755
♪ The angel voices ♪
916
00:47:08,838 --> 00:47:10,505
[Pam grunts] Okay. Just--
917
00:47:13,421 --> 00:47:15,380
-[Jeff] One, two.
-[Pam grunting]
918
00:47:15,463 --> 00:47:16,630
[Jeff farts]
919
00:47:16,713 --> 00:47:18,130
-Oh, my God.
-I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
920
00:47:18,213 --> 00:47:20,088
-I'm sorry.
-[Pam retches]
921
00:47:21,046 --> 00:47:22,421
Just get up there.
922
00:47:23,005 --> 00:47:25,463
[sighs] Okay. Three.
923
00:47:25,546 --> 00:47:26,755
[both grunt]
924
00:47:27,838 --> 00:47:29,921
-[Jeff] Now climb up me.
-Okay.
925
00:47:30,005 --> 00:47:31,588
[Pam grunting]
926
00:47:33,963 --> 00:47:36,880
-[Pam pants, grunts]
-[Jeff] Oh, no!
927
00:47:36,963 --> 00:47:39,088
[grunts]
928
00:47:39,880 --> 00:47:42,171
[Jeff straining]
929
00:47:42,255 --> 00:47:45,880
[Jeff screams, grunts]
930
00:47:45,963 --> 00:47:47,380
[Jeff] Take my hand.
931
00:47:47,963 --> 00:47:51,463
-[Pam grunts]
-[Jeff screams]
932
00:47:51,546 --> 00:47:53,338
[grunts]
933
00:47:53,421 --> 00:47:56,755
♪ His power ♪
934
00:47:57,338 --> 00:47:58,796
Get up there.
935
00:47:58,880 --> 00:48:00,796
♪ And glory ♪
936
00:48:00,880 --> 00:48:03,588
[both groaning]
937
00:48:03,671 --> 00:48:04,880
Okay.
938
00:48:05,463 --> 00:48:06,463
I'm nearly up.
939
00:48:07,546 --> 00:48:09,463
[both grunt]
940
00:48:10,463 --> 00:48:11,671
[grunts]
941
00:48:11,755 --> 00:48:12,921
[sighs]
942
00:48:15,880 --> 00:48:17,380
[whimpers]
943
00:48:17,463 --> 00:48:18,713
[sighs]
944
00:48:20,546 --> 00:48:22,713
-It's okay, Pam. I-- [screams]
-[singing fades]
945
00:48:23,463 --> 00:48:24,671
[grunts]
946
00:48:25,713 --> 00:48:26,921
Oh.
947
00:48:27,005 --> 00:48:28,171
A gate.
948
00:48:30,755 --> 00:48:33,296
[Jeff grunting]
949
00:48:34,838 --> 00:48:35,838
Oh.
950
00:48:35,921 --> 00:48:38,046
[Jeff] A side gate? Really?
951
00:48:38,755 --> 00:48:41,338
I'm sorry, but it's not like
you saw the gate either.
952
00:48:41,421 --> 00:48:44,130
[groans] Oh, I'm-- I'm fine by the way.
Thank you.
953
00:48:50,838 --> 00:48:52,296
Come on.
954
00:48:53,921 --> 00:48:55,255
[sighs]
955
00:48:58,005 --> 00:48:59,505
-[speaks indistinctly]
-[Jeff] What?
956
00:49:03,213 --> 00:49:04,338
[phone beeps]
957
00:49:06,005 --> 00:49:08,546
[choir singing]
958
00:49:08,630 --> 00:49:10,671
Oh.
959
00:49:10,755 --> 00:49:12,630
[Pam] That's our little girl.
960
00:49:12,713 --> 00:49:14,463
[choir continues]
961
00:49:14,546 --> 00:49:16,380
-Try the door.
-Okay.
962
00:49:25,046 --> 00:49:29,171
"…the difference being
that the clothes are made to fit you,
963
00:49:29,255 --> 00:49:30,921
while you have to be made
to fit the tree."
964
00:49:31,005 --> 00:49:33,046
[woman] Better not
let your father hear you say that.
965
00:49:33,130 --> 00:49:34,255
Okay, Mom.
966
00:49:34,338 --> 00:49:36,130
[man] "…wanted to with their buckets.
967
00:49:36,213 --> 00:49:39,296
And how ardently they grew to love their…"
968
00:49:42,963 --> 00:49:46,421
-[sighs] The wrong house. That's on me.
-Yeah, yeah. I get the sense it was.
969
00:49:46,505 --> 00:49:47,963
Okay, let's just go next door.
970
00:49:48,046 --> 00:49:50,046
That's where he lives.
We're gonna check it out.
971
00:49:51,463 --> 00:49:54,921
[both screaming]
972
00:49:57,171 --> 00:49:59,255
We're in a swimming pool! [screams]
973
00:49:59,338 --> 00:50:01,171
We're freezing! [screams]
974
00:50:01,255 --> 00:50:04,255
[Pam] Pulling you up! Come here! [screams]
975
00:50:04,338 --> 00:50:06,630
-[Pam] Come on!
-[Pam and Jeff grunting]
976
00:50:06,713 --> 00:50:08,755
-[Pam] What should I do?
-Get on my back!
977
00:50:08,838 --> 00:50:10,713
[both groaning, screaming]
978
00:50:13,713 --> 00:50:17,005
[man] "…one step, they leapt
into the sky toward Neverland."
979
00:50:17,088 --> 00:50:19,463
Why are man and lady drowning?
980
00:50:19,546 --> 00:50:22,296
No. They're not drowning.
They're in the sky flying.
981
00:50:22,380 --> 00:50:25,505
-[Jeff] Okay.
-[Pam] I'm up. I'm up. Okay.
982
00:50:27,088 --> 00:50:28,880
Swim. Swim to me.
983
00:50:28,963 --> 00:50:30,046
[Jeff grunts]
984
00:50:30,130 --> 00:50:31,130
[Pam] I got you.
985
00:50:31,713 --> 00:50:33,505
[Pam] Pull you up. Come here.
986
00:50:34,171 --> 00:50:35,713
[both grunting]
987
00:50:35,796 --> 00:50:37,255
[Pam grunts] And you're out.
988
00:50:37,338 --> 00:50:39,796
[both panting]
989
00:50:48,088 --> 00:50:49,505
What are we doing?
990
00:50:50,380 --> 00:50:51,588
I am a teacher.
991
00:50:52,546 --> 00:50:53,755
You're a data…
992
00:50:55,213 --> 00:50:57,880
-[Pam stammers] ...manager.
-Migration manager.
993
00:50:59,921 --> 00:51:02,713
Maybe the universe is trying to
tell us something, you know?
994
00:51:02,796 --> 00:51:05,088
I mean, maybe we
should just cut our losses.
995
00:51:05,171 --> 00:51:06,755
-[Jeff screams]
-[Pam grunts]
996
00:51:06,838 --> 00:51:09,130
-[grunts, pants]
-[Jeff grunts]
997
00:51:09,213 --> 00:51:12,755
[both grunting, panting]
998
00:51:15,255 --> 00:51:16,255
No.
999
00:51:17,130 --> 00:51:18,505
We're not giving up.
1000
00:51:19,130 --> 00:51:20,505
We need a W, Pam.
1001
00:51:22,546 --> 00:51:23,963
A win.
1002
00:51:24,546 --> 00:51:25,588
Yeah.
1003
00:51:26,713 --> 00:51:28,171
We do deserve a W.
1004
00:51:29,921 --> 00:51:31,755
We're good people, Pam.
1005
00:51:31,838 --> 00:51:34,671
And we're gonna lose our home
because Harry stinkin' Potter
1006
00:51:34,755 --> 00:51:38,505
comes into our house and steals
the only thing that can fix our problems.
1007
00:51:39,546 --> 00:51:42,505
No. That's an injustice.
1008
00:51:43,880 --> 00:51:45,796
Yeah. That's not fair.
1009
00:51:45,880 --> 00:51:50,005
And-- And who are we if we give up now?
I mean, what do we say to our kids?
1010
00:51:50,088 --> 00:51:51,921
"Oh, sorry we flushed your life
down the toilet,
1011
00:51:52,005 --> 00:51:54,921
but life kept smacking us down
with klepto kids
1012
00:51:55,005 --> 00:51:58,171
and German grandmothers
and the stupid cloud."
1013
00:51:58,880 --> 00:52:01,546
I hate you, cloud.
1014
00:52:01,630 --> 00:52:03,046
Enough is enough.
1015
00:52:03,671 --> 00:52:09,338
Our W, our family's W, is in that house,
and we're gonna get it.
1016
00:52:09,421 --> 00:52:11,963
Right now.
1017
00:52:12,630 --> 00:52:14,588
Well, I don't know about right now.
Becau--
1018
00:52:14,671 --> 00:52:16,380
I mean, they could come home
at any second.
1019
00:52:16,463 --> 00:52:19,088
Also, my pants are starting to freeze.
1020
00:52:19,171 --> 00:52:20,671
Oh, mine too.
1021
00:52:21,755 --> 00:52:22,921
Like, I don't feel that.
1022
00:52:24,046 --> 00:52:25,255
At all.
1023
00:52:25,338 --> 00:52:29,255
So let's come back later, you know?
Like after dinner, after b-bedtime even.
1024
00:52:29,338 --> 00:52:32,713
Midnight, you know? Like after--
after the old lady's gone to sleep.
1025
00:52:32,796 --> 00:52:34,463
Yeah, but what if the kid wakes up?
1026
00:52:34,546 --> 00:52:36,088
You know, kids are always running down
1027
00:52:36,171 --> 00:52:38,296
in the middle of the night
to see if Santa came.
1028
00:52:39,630 --> 00:52:41,046
What if I dress as Santa?
1029
00:52:42,255 --> 00:52:44,630
He'll think I'm just Saint Nick.
1030
00:52:44,713 --> 00:52:46,171
But this Santa's gonna be leaving
1031
00:52:46,255 --> 00:52:49,588
with that $200,000 ugly little boy
in his sack.
1032
00:52:50,296 --> 00:52:52,338
And that's how we win. [chuckles]
1033
00:52:53,338 --> 00:52:56,630
Okay. Midnight it is, Mr. Claus.
1034
00:53:05,880 --> 00:53:08,880
I'm not spending my best years
in some old lady's bedroom.
1035
00:53:09,463 --> 00:53:11,796
-Homebot, search good booby traps.
-[Homebot beeps]
1036
00:53:11,880 --> 00:53:16,005
[Homebot] I'm sorry, the parental controls
of this system restrict the term "booby."
1037
00:53:16,088 --> 00:53:17,380
Never mind.
1038
00:53:18,880 --> 00:53:21,671
-I love this dress.
-Ollie, Ollie, what is that?
1039
00:53:21,755 --> 00:53:23,796
-Hey, did you take that from the church?
-Oh?
1040
00:53:23,880 --> 00:53:24,880
What--
1041
00:53:25,380 --> 00:53:26,630
Oh.
1042
00:53:26,713 --> 00:53:29,838
[chuckling] Mom, Dad, where were you?
1043
00:53:29,921 --> 00:53:31,463
And wha-- what happened?
1044
00:53:31,546 --> 00:53:35,046
A car drove through a puddle
and splashed us.
1045
00:53:35,130 --> 00:53:36,546
[Mei] What is--
1046
00:53:36,630 --> 00:53:38,380
-Yuck.
-[chuckles] Imagine that.
1047
00:53:39,213 --> 00:53:40,421
-Ew.
-[Hunter] Hmm.
1048
00:53:41,005 --> 00:53:42,880
Well, we should get dinner ready, huh?
1049
00:53:42,963 --> 00:53:44,005
Yeah.
1050
00:53:47,213 --> 00:53:48,713
[airplane dings]
1051
00:54:12,171 --> 00:54:14,213
-Sorry.
-Am I looking at your screen?
1052
00:54:14,296 --> 00:54:15,630
-Yes.
-Oh, okay.
1053
00:54:15,713 --> 00:54:17,630
-Yes.
-I didn't even realize I'm doing it.
1054
00:54:17,713 --> 00:54:19,588
-[chuckles] Classic.
-[chuckling] Yeah.
1055
00:54:27,213 --> 00:54:29,213
-Sorry, you're doing it again.
-I'm still doing it?
1056
00:54:29,296 --> 00:54:31,338
-Yes.
-I just-- I just can't help it, you know?
1057
00:54:31,421 --> 00:54:33,630
This is my screen,
and that's your screen, so…
1058
00:54:33,713 --> 00:54:36,630
-No, I know that. I know how screens work.
-Yeah.
1059
00:54:37,255 --> 00:54:39,546
You know they got TV and films on there?
1060
00:54:39,630 --> 00:54:42,630
Yep, yep, fully aware.
I'm just, um, eager to get home.
1061
00:54:43,213 --> 00:54:45,630
It's like watching a watched pot, though.
It's not gonna boil.
1062
00:54:45,713 --> 00:54:48,880
Yeah, well, it might one day.
1063
00:54:48,963 --> 00:54:50,171
Okay.
1064
00:54:50,255 --> 00:54:52,671
-I'll just get some sleep.
-Thank you.
1065
00:54:52,755 --> 00:54:55,296
-Would you like some of my blanket? Okay.
-No.
1066
00:55:00,755 --> 00:55:03,505
-Sorry. I'm sorry.
-Apology accepted.
1067
00:55:08,338 --> 00:55:11,005
So, Mei wanted to spend Christmas
in Hawaii this year,
1068
00:55:11,088 --> 00:55:13,296
but I told her, we just gotta suck it up
and come here
1069
00:55:13,380 --> 00:55:15,255
because I knew you guys
would appreciate it.
1070
00:55:15,338 --> 00:55:16,880
[speaking in German]
1071
00:55:44,380 --> 00:55:46,463
He could be a model, and he's only--
1072
00:55:46,546 --> 00:55:49,630
-How old are you? Four, right?
-[Jeff] Like a runway model?
1073
00:55:49,713 --> 00:55:53,963
[Mei] Any kind of model. They say he has
an incredible body for a boy his age.
1074
00:56:23,171 --> 00:56:25,880
♪ Christmas time, so full of cheer ♪
1075
00:56:25,963 --> 00:56:28,421
♪ But not for the children
Who live in fear ♪
1076
00:56:28,505 --> 00:56:31,546
♪ 'Cause it ain't about gifts and toys ♪
1077
00:56:31,630 --> 00:56:35,505
♪ For less fortunate girls and boys ♪
1078
00:56:52,588 --> 00:56:55,213
[Mei singing]
♪ In a world so full of famine and wars ♪
1079
00:56:55,296 --> 00:56:57,921
♪ We all need a little more Santa Claus ♪
1080
00:57:10,171 --> 00:57:12,046
-Here you go. Just for the kids.
-Chris.
1081
00:57:13,088 --> 00:57:15,088
-[Chris and Abby gasp]
-No.
1082
00:57:15,171 --> 00:57:17,005
That's not the most expensive thing
we bought you.
1083
00:57:17,088 --> 00:57:18,963
[Pam] We can't keep those. Thank you.
1084
00:57:48,796 --> 00:57:50,338
[yawns]
1085
00:57:51,255 --> 00:57:54,046
Oh, look at those snuggly,
little elves all ready for bed.
1086
00:57:54,130 --> 00:57:56,963
Only a half-hour left till Christmas.
See you in the morning.
1087
00:57:58,171 --> 00:58:00,255
-[footsteps depart]
-[door closes]
1088
00:58:16,380 --> 00:58:18,171
Locked and loaded.
1089
00:58:19,046 --> 00:58:20,296
[Pam] Okay, we have a plan.
1090
00:58:20,380 --> 00:58:23,755
If we stick to it, we'll be back
before anyone will even notice.
1091
00:58:25,713 --> 00:58:27,671
-Honey, slow down.
-[tires screech]
1092
00:58:28,630 --> 00:58:29,838
Babe, slow down.
1093
00:58:29,921 --> 00:58:32,255
I'm trying. It's so icy.
1094
00:58:32,338 --> 00:58:33,463
[Pam] Put on the brakes!
1095
00:58:33,546 --> 00:58:35,796
-Steer into the slide.
-No.
1096
00:58:35,880 --> 00:58:39,255
You pump into a slide,
and you steer into a skid.
1097
00:58:39,338 --> 00:58:40,921
-Which one is this?
-I'm not sure.
1098
00:58:41,005 --> 00:58:42,796
-[tires screech]
-[both scream]
1099
00:58:43,880 --> 00:58:45,755
[both yell]
1100
00:58:45,838 --> 00:58:48,130
[Jeff grunts]
1101
00:58:48,213 --> 00:58:49,796
[chuckles] Yes.
1102
00:58:50,296 --> 00:58:53,921
-[both groaning]
-[airbags squeal]
1103
00:58:54,005 --> 00:58:56,380
-Okay.
-[Jeff] Okay. It's all over.
1104
00:58:57,463 --> 00:58:59,463
-Could've been worse. Could've--
-Yeah.
1105
00:58:59,546 --> 00:59:00,671
[both scream]
1106
00:59:00,755 --> 00:59:01,963
[laughs]
1107
00:59:03,130 --> 00:59:04,296
[sighs]
1108
00:59:09,171 --> 00:59:10,213
[Jeff clears throat]
1109
00:59:10,296 --> 00:59:14,213
Okay. Let's shake that off and focus.
1110
00:59:14,963 --> 00:59:17,130
[Pam] We are doing this.
1111
00:59:17,213 --> 00:59:18,963
[Jeff] We are doing it.
1112
00:59:19,921 --> 00:59:21,588
We'll be in and out before you--
1113
00:59:21,671 --> 00:59:22,755
-[screams]
-[Pam grunts]
1114
00:59:22,838 --> 00:59:23,755
[winces]
1115
00:59:23,838 --> 00:59:26,755
-This is not going well.
-[groans]
1116
00:59:27,588 --> 00:59:29,421
I think I shattered my coccyx.
1117
00:59:29,505 --> 00:59:30,671
[Pam grunts]
1118
00:59:30,755 --> 00:59:32,921
-Be careful, Jeff. It's slippery.
-[groans]
1119
00:59:33,796 --> 00:59:36,588
-Oh, really? Thanks for letting me know.
-[grunts]
1120
00:59:36,671 --> 00:59:40,171
[both grunt, groan]
1121
00:59:41,713 --> 00:59:43,755
[Jeff]
I think I've worked out a good method.
1122
00:59:45,713 --> 00:59:46,713
How are you doing?
1123
00:59:46,796 --> 00:59:48,130
[Pam] Good. I'm getting there.
1124
00:59:48,213 --> 00:59:49,796
-I'm gonna make it.
-[Jeff grunts]
1125
00:59:50,463 --> 00:59:51,921
All right. I'm doing this.
1126
00:59:52,005 --> 00:59:59,005
-I'm right behind you, babe. [yelling]
-One more step and I got [elongated] it.
1127
00:59:59,630 --> 01:00:01,713
-[Jeff] Save me!
-Okay. I got you.
1128
01:00:08,296 --> 01:00:09,296
[Jeff groans]
1129
01:00:10,588 --> 01:00:12,963
[shouts] The motion sensor.
1130
01:00:13,046 --> 01:00:15,005
-Hide.
-[Jeff] Why is it so bright?
1131
01:00:15,963 --> 01:00:16,921
Why is it so dark?
1132
01:00:17,838 --> 01:00:19,130
[grunts, groans]
1133
01:00:19,213 --> 01:00:20,713
[chuckles]
1134
01:00:25,505 --> 01:00:27,171
[screams, groans]
1135
01:00:27,255 --> 01:00:28,338
[groans]
1136
01:00:28,421 --> 01:00:30,130
Come over here, honey. Come over here.
1137
01:00:30,213 --> 01:00:31,421
-Okay.
-Quick, quick.
1138
01:00:31,505 --> 01:00:33,046
[screams, grunts]
1139
01:00:33,130 --> 01:00:34,255
-[Pam] Oh!
-[Jeff grunts]
1140
01:00:34,338 --> 01:00:36,213
Yes! [chuckles]
1141
01:00:36,296 --> 01:00:38,588
What's the lumen count on that thing?
1142
01:00:38,671 --> 01:00:40,005
Oh, man.
1143
01:00:40,088 --> 01:00:43,296
Hey, what if they're awake?
1144
01:00:46,088 --> 01:00:47,171
Wait here.
1145
01:00:48,046 --> 01:00:49,130
-[Pam grunts]
-[Jeff] Oh.
1146
01:00:49,755 --> 01:00:50,755
[chuckles]
1147
01:00:52,130 --> 01:00:53,505
Now it's re-tangling.
1148
01:00:53,588 --> 01:00:55,088
Go the other way. Now turn. Face.
1149
01:00:55,171 --> 01:00:57,171
-It's getting more wrapped up.
-Rotate.
1150
01:00:58,171 --> 01:01:00,130
-[Pam] You're not helping.
-[Jeff] Yes, I am.
1151
01:01:00,838 --> 01:01:02,296
-Okay. Yeah, I did it.
-Okay.
1152
01:01:06,296 --> 01:01:07,546
I'm going round back.
1153
01:01:15,130 --> 01:01:16,338
Aw.
1154
01:01:23,296 --> 01:01:26,921
[Jeff] "Dear Santa. I tried waiting up
for you, but I'm too sleepy.
1155
01:01:27,005 --> 01:01:28,380
Come on in!"
1156
01:01:28,463 --> 01:01:31,380
[chuckles] Aw.
1157
01:01:35,630 --> 01:01:36,630
Mmm.
1158
01:01:41,005 --> 01:01:42,213
[grunts]
1159
01:01:43,546 --> 01:01:45,838
[gags] Milk hot!
1160
01:01:46,546 --> 01:01:47,963
Why milk hot?
1161
01:01:48,046 --> 01:01:49,338
[screams]
1162
01:01:49,421 --> 01:01:51,755
[grunting]
1163
01:01:57,588 --> 01:01:58,630
[soda fizzes]
1164
01:02:01,213 --> 01:02:02,838
[soda bubbles, fizzes]
1165
01:02:02,921 --> 01:02:05,380
[soda bubbling]
1166
01:02:08,588 --> 01:02:11,755
[soda fizzing]
1167
01:02:13,005 --> 01:02:14,671
[soda fizzes]
1168
01:02:15,463 --> 01:02:16,463
Hmm.
1169
01:02:19,088 --> 01:02:21,046
[screaming]
1170
01:02:21,130 --> 01:02:22,046
[laughs]
1171
01:02:23,296 --> 01:02:24,713
Bombs away.
1172
01:02:26,796 --> 01:02:28,546
Stop! Stop!
1173
01:02:28,630 --> 01:02:32,546
[Pam grunting]
1174
01:02:33,130 --> 01:02:36,171
You know, I guess my mum was right.
Soda is bad for you.
1175
01:02:36,255 --> 01:02:38,630
Wait! We just want our doll-- [grunts]
1176
01:02:38,713 --> 01:02:40,880
Stop! We can talk.
1177
01:02:41,380 --> 01:02:42,588
[grunts] We just want our--
1178
01:02:44,671 --> 01:02:45,838
[grunts]
1179
01:02:45,921 --> 01:02:48,213
How the heck do you have so much soda?
1180
01:02:48,296 --> 01:02:51,630
My parents buy in bulk.
It's more cost effective.
1181
01:02:53,171 --> 01:02:56,880
And forget about taking
this $200,000 ugly boy.
1182
01:02:57,921 --> 01:02:59,338
We're not here to hurt you.
1183
01:03:00,380 --> 01:03:04,630
Please, just calm down,
and we can talk about this rationally.
1184
01:03:06,546 --> 01:03:08,921
So easy on the soda, okay?
1185
01:03:09,005 --> 01:03:12,005
Ah. [screams]
1186
01:03:12,088 --> 01:03:15,755
[whimpers]
1187
01:03:15,838 --> 01:03:18,880
[screams]
1188
01:03:18,963 --> 01:03:20,046
[whimpers]
1189
01:03:20,130 --> 01:03:21,546
Ouch! Ouch!
1190
01:03:21,630 --> 01:03:23,755
Ow! Ow! Ooh!
1191
01:03:23,838 --> 01:03:25,713
[grunting]
1192
01:03:25,796 --> 01:03:28,880
[pants]
1193
01:03:37,296 --> 01:03:38,755
[machine beeps]
1194
01:03:41,963 --> 01:03:44,338
[alarm blaring]
1195
01:03:44,421 --> 01:03:45,505
[electronic voice] Alarm!
1196
01:03:47,171 --> 01:03:49,088
One, one, one, two--
1197
01:03:49,171 --> 01:03:50,171
[groaning, cries]
1198
01:03:50,255 --> 01:03:51,713
-[keypad beeps]
-[alarm stops]
1199
01:03:52,713 --> 01:03:55,546
Santa? Is that you?
1200
01:03:55,630 --> 01:03:57,005
[groans]
1201
01:03:57,088 --> 01:04:00,546
Ho! Ho! Ho! How are you, little boy?
1202
01:04:00,630 --> 01:04:02,588
Orange stripe, center pocket.
1203
01:04:02,671 --> 01:04:03,713
No!
1204
01:04:03,796 --> 01:04:04,796
[grunts]
1205
01:04:06,963 --> 01:04:10,546
Ooh! That did not sound right. [chuckles]
1206
01:04:18,838 --> 01:04:19,838
[pants]
1207
01:04:32,546 --> 01:04:36,713
[grunting]
1208
01:04:36,796 --> 01:04:40,005
So hot and so cold
at the same time. [cries]
1209
01:04:42,463 --> 01:04:43,463
Jeff?
1210
01:04:44,796 --> 01:04:46,171
Jeff!
1211
01:04:51,963 --> 01:04:52,963
[grunts]
1212
01:04:54,546 --> 01:04:55,713
Where am I?
1213
01:04:55,796 --> 01:04:59,380
-[Jeff gasps] What? This-- [whimpers]
-[dogs barking]
1214
01:04:59,463 --> 01:05:01,171
-[Jeff] I'm scared.
-[bird shrieks]
1215
01:05:03,463 --> 01:05:04,713
What is this?
1216
01:05:06,088 --> 01:05:07,338
[Jeff groans]
1217
01:05:07,421 --> 01:05:10,671
Okay. I'm okay. I have all my parts.
1218
01:05:12,338 --> 01:05:15,005
[whimpers]
1219
01:05:15,713 --> 01:05:17,630
-Am I dead? Is this dead?
-[bird shrieks]
1220
01:05:18,130 --> 01:05:19,005
[gasps]
1221
01:05:19,088 --> 01:05:20,380
[screams, whimpers]
1222
01:05:21,130 --> 01:05:22,796
That's too high! I'm too high.
1223
01:05:22,880 --> 01:05:25,130
[grunts, pants]
1224
01:05:25,213 --> 01:05:27,630
I don't like-- [whimpers]
1225
01:05:27,713 --> 01:05:29,463
Where have you taken me?
1226
01:05:30,171 --> 01:05:31,505
You can do this, McKenzie.
1227
01:05:31,588 --> 01:05:33,838
-[stones fall]
-Okay, you just gotta make it across.
1228
01:05:33,921 --> 01:05:35,171
Just one small jump.
1229
01:05:36,421 --> 01:05:38,546
[whimpers]
1230
01:05:38,630 --> 01:05:43,505
One, two, three!
1231
01:05:44,255 --> 01:05:45,380
[groans]
1232
01:05:45,463 --> 01:05:47,921
[laughs]
1233
01:05:48,005 --> 01:05:51,421
[groaning]
1234
01:05:51,505 --> 01:05:52,505
[Pam] Jeff?
1235
01:05:52,588 --> 01:05:54,755
[groans]
1236
01:05:54,838 --> 01:05:55,921
Jeff?
1237
01:05:56,880 --> 01:05:58,005
Jeff!
1238
01:05:59,338 --> 01:06:00,713
[bangs]
1239
01:06:00,796 --> 01:06:03,546
[banging]
1240
01:06:04,130 --> 01:06:05,796
There's something blocking the door.
1241
01:06:05,880 --> 01:06:07,005
[grunts]
1242
01:06:08,380 --> 01:06:09,921
[banging]
1243
01:06:10,005 --> 01:06:11,130
[grunting]
1244
01:06:11,213 --> 01:06:12,338
[sound distorts]
1245
01:06:15,505 --> 01:06:17,046
-[Jeff groans]
-[Pam gasps]
1246
01:06:17,130 --> 01:06:19,296
-Oh, honey.
-[Jeff groans]
1247
01:06:21,171 --> 01:06:22,630
-[Pam gasps]
-[Jeff groans]
1248
01:06:23,796 --> 01:06:25,671
He's hurting me, Pam.
1249
01:06:26,505 --> 01:06:28,796
Me too, baby. Me too.
1250
01:06:30,005 --> 01:06:33,296
Little, limey monster
tried to set me on fire.
1251
01:06:33,380 --> 01:06:35,880
Why's he doing this to us, Pam?
1252
01:06:37,130 --> 01:06:39,463
He just told me our 200 grand
is getting away.
1253
01:06:39,546 --> 01:06:42,671
He has our doll,
and he knows what it's worth.
1254
01:06:42,755 --> 01:06:43,755
[sighs]
1255
01:06:44,296 --> 01:06:45,671
We have to get it back.
1256
01:06:47,921 --> 01:06:49,130
-[joints crack]
-[groans]
1257
01:06:51,171 --> 01:06:52,171
[Pam grunts]
1258
01:06:55,671 --> 01:06:56,838
[metal scraping]
1259
01:06:57,588 --> 01:06:58,921
Ow!
1260
01:06:59,005 --> 01:07:02,671
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
1261
01:07:06,921 --> 01:07:08,421
[pants]
1262
01:07:08,505 --> 01:07:09,755
Ow!
1263
01:07:10,796 --> 01:07:14,755
[groans] The Eiffel Tower?
Really? [grunts]
1264
01:07:14,838 --> 01:07:16,505
[Legos clattering]
1265
01:07:16,588 --> 01:07:21,296
[grunts]
1266
01:07:24,588 --> 01:07:27,880
[whispers] Don't you dare judge me.
I'm doing this for my family.
1267
01:07:33,296 --> 01:07:34,296
[snores]
1268
01:07:34,380 --> 01:07:38,005
[sniffles]
1269
01:07:38,088 --> 01:07:40,213
[snores]
1270
01:07:40,963 --> 01:07:42,505
[Jeff] You learned anything?
1271
01:07:42,588 --> 01:07:45,463
Just that this kid owns a lot of Legos.
1272
01:07:45,546 --> 01:07:46,921
[footsteps]
1273
01:07:47,005 --> 01:07:48,296
[Jeff speaks German]
1274
01:07:48,380 --> 01:07:50,005
[in German] We are coming in…
1275
01:07:51,088 --> 01:07:52,630
[in English] I forgot the word for peace.
1276
01:07:52,713 --> 01:07:54,171
-Yeah, look it up.
-Okay, let's see.
1277
01:07:54,963 --> 01:07:58,671
-[Jeff murmurs]
-"Pancake." No. "Potato." "Paralysis."
1278
01:07:58,755 --> 01:08:00,296
-[Max] Up here.
-[Jeff] Oh, hey.
1279
01:08:00,380 --> 01:08:04,005
Okay. So-- So listen.
[stammers] We just wanna talk.
1280
01:08:04,088 --> 01:08:06,130
[screams, grunts]
1281
01:08:06,213 --> 01:08:08,796
Would you just stop and talk to us?
1282
01:08:08,880 --> 01:08:10,463
[screams, grunts]
1283
01:08:10,546 --> 01:08:14,005
-Please!
-[speaks German]
1284
01:08:14,088 --> 01:08:16,588
We are coming in Frieden.
1285
01:08:17,380 --> 01:08:18,755
Frieden is peace.
1286
01:08:18,838 --> 01:08:20,796
[Max] Come on up and get me!
1287
01:08:21,921 --> 01:08:22,921
[grunts]
1288
01:08:23,005 --> 01:08:24,005
Ouch.
1289
01:08:24,088 --> 01:08:27,796
[screams, grunts]
1290
01:08:27,880 --> 01:08:30,713
[Pam] He put butter on the stairs.
1291
01:08:30,796 --> 01:08:35,671
Flour, milk and butter.
1292
01:08:35,755 --> 01:08:37,130
He's turning me into a cookie.
1293
01:08:37,213 --> 01:08:39,338
Well, you need sugar for a cookie.
1294
01:08:41,380 --> 01:08:44,588
[groans, cries]
1295
01:08:47,255 --> 01:08:49,713
Who raised this little monster?
1296
01:08:50,880 --> 01:08:52,421
I think we should go back home.
1297
01:08:53,088 --> 01:08:54,671
There is no going back.
1298
01:08:54,755 --> 01:08:56,546
This is who we are now.
1299
01:08:57,338 --> 01:08:59,046
This is the life we've chosen.
1300
01:09:00,671 --> 01:09:02,130
We've gone to the other side.
1301
01:09:07,171 --> 01:09:08,588
You'll never find me.
1302
01:09:10,421 --> 01:09:12,713
[grunts]
1303
01:09:26,046 --> 01:09:29,796
[screams]
1304
01:09:35,630 --> 01:09:38,088
Harry Potter turned me into a pincushion.
1305
01:09:43,505 --> 01:09:46,421
Good job, honey. I'll be right there.
1306
01:09:48,046 --> 01:09:52,380
[groans]
1307
01:09:52,463 --> 01:09:53,463
[grunts]
1308
01:09:54,213 --> 01:09:55,338
Or not.
1309
01:09:59,338 --> 01:10:02,463
[whirring]
1310
01:10:02,546 --> 01:10:03,838
Well, hello.
1311
01:10:12,713 --> 01:10:13,671
Catch.
1312
01:10:15,005 --> 01:10:18,880
Oh, no. You hit me
with the incredibly soft yoga ball.
1313
01:10:18,963 --> 01:10:20,505
[grunts]
1314
01:10:21,338 --> 01:10:24,255
[screams]
1315
01:10:24,338 --> 01:10:25,713
[Jeff screams]
1316
01:10:25,796 --> 01:10:30,838
[Pam screams, grunts]
1317
01:10:32,630 --> 01:10:33,630
[sighs]
1318
01:10:35,630 --> 01:10:37,130
Go get him, Jeff.
1319
01:10:37,213 --> 01:10:38,421
[groans]
1320
01:10:40,880 --> 01:10:43,630
[Max]
Given up yet? Or are you thirsty for more?
1321
01:10:43,713 --> 01:10:44,880
[breathing heavily]
1322
01:10:44,963 --> 01:10:46,171
[joints crack]
1323
01:10:52,546 --> 01:10:55,713
Eight ball. Your face.
1324
01:11:00,213 --> 01:11:02,421
There's nowhere to run now, little man.
1325
01:11:03,963 --> 01:11:05,380
[Max] We'll see about that.
1326
01:11:09,338 --> 01:11:10,338
See ya.
1327
01:11:15,630 --> 01:11:17,755
Pam, he jumped off the balcony!
1328
01:11:18,671 --> 01:11:19,796
Good.
1329
01:11:20,421 --> 01:11:21,421
[pants]
1330
01:11:23,088 --> 01:11:24,130
The jacket.
1331
01:11:26,546 --> 01:11:28,505
Oh, no. A ladder.
1332
01:11:29,546 --> 01:11:32,380
[chuckles]
You really think I'm that stupid?
1333
01:11:41,088 --> 01:11:42,463
[groans]
1334
01:11:43,130 --> 01:11:46,296
Yes. Yes, I do.
1335
01:11:46,921 --> 01:11:50,380
[whispers] Dolly? [pants]
1336
01:11:57,463 --> 01:11:58,463
What?
1337
01:11:59,880 --> 01:12:01,088
[groans]
1338
01:12:03,588 --> 01:12:05,046
Aw.
1339
01:12:09,505 --> 01:12:12,380
That's it. Time's up, little guy.
1340
01:12:19,213 --> 01:12:21,755
[whimpering]
1341
01:12:26,838 --> 01:12:28,713
[whimpers]
1342
01:12:29,338 --> 01:12:32,046
[screams, groans]
1343
01:12:33,088 --> 01:12:34,171
No!
1344
01:12:35,046 --> 01:12:36,463
[whimpers]
1345
01:12:36,546 --> 01:12:40,213
[growls]
1346
01:12:41,338 --> 01:12:42,546
[Pam] That's far enough.
1347
01:12:44,338 --> 01:12:45,838
Well, hello there.
1348
01:12:47,546 --> 01:12:49,380
-[Jeff whimpers]
-I'll do it.
1349
01:12:49,463 --> 01:12:52,421
Please, please, please no more pool balls.
1350
01:12:52,505 --> 01:12:54,338
Drop the gun.
1351
01:12:54,421 --> 01:12:57,213
Not a chance.
1352
01:12:57,296 --> 01:13:00,171
-[gun cocks]
-I'm not playing around, lady.
1353
01:13:00,255 --> 01:13:03,713
[whimpers] He's not. He-- He shot me
with several pool balls tonight.
1354
01:13:03,796 --> 01:13:05,005
Enough!
1355
01:13:05,088 --> 01:13:06,630
This stops here.
1356
01:13:08,213 --> 01:13:10,380
You picked the wrong mom to mess with.
1357
01:13:22,921 --> 01:13:24,171
[screams]
1358
01:13:24,921 --> 01:13:26,130
[screams]
1359
01:13:26,213 --> 01:13:27,838
-[grunts]
-[Jeff] Honey, are you okay?
1360
01:13:28,838 --> 01:13:32,921
Please, no more Legos or fire
1361
01:13:33,005 --> 01:13:36,213
or freaking thumbtacks.
We just wanna talk.
1362
01:13:36,296 --> 01:13:38,796
Yeah, right. I heard your plan.
1363
01:13:38,880 --> 01:13:41,130
You wanna kidnap "the ugly boy"
1364
01:13:41,213 --> 01:13:44,213
and sell me to some old lady
for 200 large.
1365
01:13:44,296 --> 01:13:45,130
What?
1366
01:13:45,921 --> 01:13:46,921
What? [scoffs]
1367
01:13:47,005 --> 01:13:50,713
And I'm not ugly.
My mum says I've got character.
1368
01:13:51,880 --> 01:13:53,005
You thought--
1369
01:13:53,088 --> 01:13:54,380
[stammers]
1370
01:13:54,463 --> 01:13:57,296
Is that why you made this death maze?
1371
01:13:57,380 --> 01:13:59,338
Kid, we just want our doll back.
1372
01:13:59,421 --> 01:14:00,546
What doll?
1373
01:14:00,630 --> 01:14:05,338
The one you stole from our house.
The boy with the bad face. The ugly boy.
1374
01:14:05,421 --> 01:14:08,130
That? I didn't steal that.
1375
01:14:09,630 --> 01:14:12,255
I'm ten years old.
Why on earth would I want a doll?
1376
01:14:15,546 --> 01:14:20,171
Oh, no. This is bad.
1377
01:14:21,296 --> 01:14:22,505
We did a bad thing.
1378
01:14:23,630 --> 01:14:26,213
One of the worst bads we could've done.
1379
01:14:28,046 --> 01:14:31,213
I think we need to wake up your grandma.
1380
01:14:31,296 --> 01:14:33,796
You wanna call my grandma in England?
1381
01:14:33,880 --> 01:14:37,255
No. The grandma who's staying here.
1382
01:14:38,130 --> 01:14:39,421
From Germany.
1383
01:14:40,171 --> 01:14:41,505
[speaks German]
1384
01:14:42,546 --> 01:14:44,296
My grandma's not staying with me.
1385
01:14:45,296 --> 01:14:46,880
Well, then who is?
1386
01:14:54,796 --> 01:14:57,671
No one. It's just me.
1387
01:14:59,546 --> 01:15:00,671
What?
1388
01:15:00,755 --> 01:15:02,671
Wait, where are your parents?
1389
01:15:05,463 --> 01:15:06,921
Tokyo.
1390
01:15:07,588 --> 01:15:12,963
Oh. Sweetie, I am so sorry.
1391
01:15:13,796 --> 01:15:16,713
If we had known you were staying here
by yourself,
1392
01:15:16,796 --> 01:15:19,255
we would've handled things
a lot differently.
1393
01:15:20,630 --> 01:15:23,380
We wouldn't have broken into your home
even once.
1394
01:15:23,463 --> 01:15:26,505
This was just a huge misunderstanding.
1395
01:15:26,588 --> 01:15:29,546
Now, why don't you just put
that heavy gun down?
1396
01:15:30,630 --> 01:15:33,046
Oh, sweetie, come here.
1397
01:15:33,130 --> 01:15:34,630
You're safe now.
1398
01:15:34,713 --> 01:15:36,880
We'll take care of you, okay?
1399
01:15:38,088 --> 01:15:39,380
Okay.
1400
01:15:44,005 --> 01:15:48,671
[all scream]
1401
01:15:48,755 --> 01:15:52,213
[Jeff whimpers, screams]
1402
01:15:53,171 --> 01:15:54,963
[pants]
1403
01:15:55,046 --> 01:15:58,171
Okay, I know what it looks like…
1404
01:15:59,463 --> 01:16:01,796
But that was genuinely an accident.
1405
01:16:01,880 --> 01:16:03,421
Well, I hope so.
1406
01:16:03,505 --> 01:16:05,796
Because-- [screams] No.
1407
01:16:05,880 --> 01:16:08,921
I gotta go take a-- I'm gonna go sit down.
1408
01:16:09,838 --> 01:16:13,546
Okay. Let's call your parents
and let them know that you're okay.
1409
01:16:13,630 --> 01:16:16,046
You can stay with us till they get back.
1410
01:16:17,005 --> 01:16:19,463
I'm gonna be in so much trouble.
1411
01:16:19,546 --> 01:16:21,296
[clicks tongue] No, honey.
1412
01:16:21,380 --> 01:16:25,088
Your mom is just gonna be happy
to see you. I promise.
1413
01:16:25,171 --> 01:16:26,296
[Jeff] At first.
1414
01:16:26,796 --> 01:16:29,505
But-- But then you'll be in trouble.
1415
01:16:29,588 --> 01:16:31,671
Pretty bad, I would-- I would imagine.
1416
01:16:31,755 --> 01:16:35,463
I think we're all gonna have
quite a bit of explaining to do.
1417
01:16:38,046 --> 01:16:43,546
Okay, so, you go to this kid's house,
because you think he stole the doll…
1418
01:16:43,630 --> 01:16:45,755
-[stammers]
-…and on the way there, you hit a tree,
1419
01:16:45,838 --> 01:16:46,796
which is why…
1420
01:16:46,880 --> 01:16:47,880
Yeah.
1421
01:16:47,963 --> 01:16:50,296
And then when you get to this kid's house,
he's home alone?
1422
01:16:51,005 --> 01:16:53,213
-Yes. Pretty much, yeah. Yes.
-Mm-hmm.
1423
01:16:53,296 --> 01:16:55,255
[clicks tongue] Wow.
1424
01:16:55,338 --> 01:16:57,255
How about your mom?
Have you talked to her?
1425
01:16:57,338 --> 01:16:59,630
Yeah, we called her when she landed.
1426
01:16:59,713 --> 01:17:03,046
She cried happy tears.
I didn't even know you could do that.
1427
01:17:03,130 --> 01:17:06,380
So, are we moving?
1428
01:17:12,296 --> 01:17:13,755
I'm sorry, guys…
1429
01:17:15,088 --> 01:17:17,838
But we got an offer on the house,
1430
01:17:17,921 --> 01:17:21,421
and we can't afford not to take it.
1431
01:17:23,713 --> 01:17:25,046
But it's okay,
1432
01:17:25,130 --> 01:17:29,463
because what makes this house
so special to us is us.
1433
01:17:30,130 --> 01:17:31,130
Right?
1434
01:17:34,171 --> 01:17:35,921
Your mum speaks a lot of sense.
1435
01:17:37,171 --> 01:17:41,713
Without my mum and dad,
my house really didn't feel like home.
1436
01:17:46,338 --> 01:17:50,255
Oh, babe, what if one of those open house
poacher people took the doll?
1437
01:17:50,338 --> 01:17:52,130
-Mmm, yes.
-Jeff, have you heard about this?
1438
01:17:52,213 --> 01:17:55,380
They just come into your house and take
all of your valuables. It's crazy.
1439
01:17:55,463 --> 01:17:57,796
Greta Van Susteren did a thing about it
on 60 Minutes.
1440
01:17:57,880 --> 01:17:59,588
-Full hour. Yeah.
-Full hour.
1441
01:17:59,671 --> 01:18:01,630
-Who knows?
-Greta Van Susteren knows.
1442
01:18:01,713 --> 01:18:05,671
But it's gone now, and,
you know, we need to--
1443
01:18:09,921 --> 01:18:11,088
Ollie?
1444
01:18:12,088 --> 01:18:13,171
Doll.
1445
01:18:14,838 --> 01:18:18,005
Ollie, angel, do not move.
1446
01:18:18,755 --> 01:18:21,463
[speaks Spanish]
1447
01:18:21,546 --> 01:18:27,546
-["Carol of the Bells" playing]
-[no audible dialogue]
1448
01:18:43,796 --> 01:18:45,588
[music continues]
1449
01:19:03,713 --> 01:19:05,796
[music continues]
1450
01:19:20,630 --> 01:19:23,130
[music fades]
1451
01:19:23,213 --> 01:19:24,213
[grunts]
1452
01:19:24,838 --> 01:19:26,296
-[groans]
-That was incredible.
1453
01:19:26,380 --> 01:19:27,588
[stammers] Are you okay?
1454
01:19:27,671 --> 01:19:28,713
[chuckles]
1455
01:19:28,796 --> 01:19:31,713
Yeah. Yeah, I think we both are.
1456
01:19:32,213 --> 01:19:35,296
Hey, who would've thought Ollie
was gonna save the day, right?
1457
01:19:35,380 --> 01:19:38,463
-[Mei] Yay, baby. Good job, my love.
-[Hunter] Good job, buddy.
1458
01:19:38,546 --> 01:19:39,630
[doorbell rings]
1459
01:19:41,380 --> 01:19:42,630
[gasps]
1460
01:19:47,755 --> 01:19:48,755
Mum!
1461
01:19:49,713 --> 01:19:51,088
[bag thuds]
1462
01:19:51,671 --> 01:19:54,880
Max. Mmm.
1463
01:19:55,546 --> 01:19:58,796
Oh. I'm so sorry we left you, darling.
1464
01:19:58,880 --> 01:20:04,255
[chuckles] Let me look at you. [laughs]
1465
01:20:04,338 --> 01:20:05,671
You've got a great kid.
1466
01:20:07,588 --> 01:20:10,171
Yeah. Yeah, I really do.
1467
01:20:11,796 --> 01:20:14,921
He's very creative.
1468
01:20:15,005 --> 01:20:19,838
Creative. Yes. He's so creative.
1469
01:20:19,921 --> 01:20:23,005
Thank you. That's nice to, um--
1470
01:20:23,088 --> 01:20:24,088
Oh.
1471
01:20:25,380 --> 01:20:27,296
Wow, that really was some fender bender.
1472
01:20:27,380 --> 01:20:28,671
-[chuckles]
-[Pam] Mmm.
1473
01:20:28,755 --> 01:20:30,213
You should see the tree.
1474
01:20:35,338 --> 01:20:36,838
[gasps] Oh.
1475
01:20:36,921 --> 01:20:38,296
Do-- Do you wanna stay?
1476
01:20:38,380 --> 01:20:39,880
Because we have a lot of eggnog.
1477
01:20:39,963 --> 01:20:41,713
They got more nog than they know
what to do with.
1478
01:20:41,796 --> 01:20:44,713
Oh. Uh, uh, thank you, but, uh, no.
1479
01:20:44,796 --> 01:20:46,380
I-- I, um…
1480
01:20:46,463 --> 01:20:49,005
I just wanna get this guy home now.
[chuckles]
1481
01:20:49,088 --> 01:20:50,796
Never been so excited to see my house.
1482
01:20:50,880 --> 01:20:52,255
-[Carol chuckles]
-Actually--
1483
01:20:52,338 --> 01:20:54,505
-Yes! Home.
-Mm-mmm.
1484
01:20:54,588 --> 01:20:56,421
Home is where the heart is.
1485
01:20:57,171 --> 01:20:58,505
"Sweet Home Alabama."
1486
01:20:59,546 --> 01:21:01,463
Homer's Odyssey.
1487
01:21:01,546 --> 01:21:04,130
-Where do they wind up at the end?
-Home.
1488
01:21:04,213 --> 01:21:05,213
Spoiler alert.
1489
01:21:05,296 --> 01:21:07,755
You're probably too young to have read it,
but they end up at home.
1490
01:21:07,838 --> 01:21:09,130
[Carol] Yeah, that's lovely.
1491
01:21:09,213 --> 01:21:11,630
-There is no place like home. Thank you.
-Thank you.
1492
01:21:13,213 --> 01:21:14,630
Come on, you.
1493
01:21:18,171 --> 01:21:19,463
Merry Christmas, Max.
1494
01:21:20,630 --> 01:21:21,921
Be good.
1495
01:21:22,005 --> 01:21:23,046
You too.
1496
01:21:24,005 --> 01:21:25,838
[Carol] Ooh. I need another hug.
1497
01:21:25,921 --> 01:21:26,921
Aw.
1498
01:21:27,755 --> 01:21:29,171
-I missed you so much.
-[Max chuckles]
1499
01:21:29,255 --> 01:21:31,421
[Carol]
Hey, I hope the house isn't a mess.
1500
01:21:34,005 --> 01:21:35,546
-[Jeff whispers indistinctly]
-Wow.
1501
01:21:37,796 --> 01:21:39,338
-[Jeff groans]
-Wow.
1502
01:21:39,421 --> 01:21:42,171
-She must be so happy to finally be home.
-Yeah.
1503
01:21:44,463 --> 01:21:49,130
Because I guess home
is just another word for family, right?
1504
01:21:49,213 --> 01:21:51,463
So, does that mean we get to stay here?
1505
01:21:56,338 --> 01:21:58,796
-Yeah, sweetie. It does.
-[Chris] Yes.
1506
01:21:58,880 --> 01:22:01,046
-Yeah.
-[Pam chuckles]
1507
01:22:01,671 --> 01:22:03,130
-[Chris chuckles]
-[grunting]
1508
01:22:03,213 --> 01:22:06,880
Mommy's ribs. Mommy's ribs are sore.
1509
01:22:06,963 --> 01:22:08,463
So glad they're not poor anymore.
1510
01:22:08,546 --> 01:22:10,630
-It made me so uncomfortable.
-It was so awkward.
1511
01:22:11,463 --> 01:22:13,296
Hey, what do you say
we open some presents?
1512
01:22:13,380 --> 01:22:14,671
-[Chris gasps] Yes!
-Yes!
1513
01:22:16,171 --> 01:22:18,505
-[Abby] Can I open the big one?
-[Chris] Oh, my gosh!
1514
01:22:18,588 --> 01:22:20,505
-Merry Christmas.
-Merry Christmas.
1515
01:22:20,588 --> 01:22:22,088
-[Abby] I call opening first.
-Me first.
1516
01:22:22,171 --> 01:22:24,213
[Pam] Okay, guys. One at a time.
1517
01:22:24,296 --> 01:22:25,963
-[Chris] Thank you, Dad.
-[Abby] Thank you.
1518
01:22:26,046 --> 01:22:27,046
I love it.
1519
01:22:27,130 --> 01:22:28,338
[all laugh]
1520
01:22:28,421 --> 01:22:30,463
[Carol] You wouldn't believe
how much I missed you.
1521
01:22:30,546 --> 01:22:32,921
It's just gonna be
two of us for Christmas, hey?
1522
01:22:33,005 --> 01:22:34,880
-That'll be nice, won't it?
-Mm-hmm.
1523
01:22:34,963 --> 01:22:36,463
[Carol] Oh, dear. What a day.
1524
01:22:37,213 --> 01:22:38,380
[Carol grunts]
1525
01:22:38,463 --> 01:22:39,963
-Home sweet home.
-[machine beeps]
1526
01:22:48,630 --> 01:22:51,088
-There's a very reasonable explanation.
-[cracking]
1527
01:22:57,421 --> 01:22:59,421
[chattering, laughing]
1528
01:22:59,505 --> 01:23:01,671
[Carol] I think he looks
like a little politician.
1529
01:23:01,755 --> 01:23:03,796
-[Max] Mum, please.
-[Katie] He looks like a politician.
1530
01:23:03,880 --> 01:23:07,255
[Abby] Part of it's the sweater vest.
He does look like a politician.
1531
01:23:07,338 --> 01:23:09,880
-I like it. I actually like it.
-Mum.
1532
01:23:09,963 --> 01:23:13,505
-I don't even know anything about…
-Okay, everybody, time to eat.
1533
01:23:13,588 --> 01:23:15,505
Oh, this looks incredible.
1534
01:23:15,588 --> 01:23:18,713
Thank you so much,
and the house looks so beautiful.
1535
01:23:18,796 --> 01:23:20,630
Oh, don't thank me.
1536
01:23:20,713 --> 01:23:21,838
Thank that creepy doll.
1537
01:23:21,921 --> 01:23:26,046
Selling that paid for everything.
Our mortgage, our trip to Europe…
1538
01:23:26,130 --> 01:23:28,005
And your new chandelier.
1539
01:23:28,088 --> 01:23:30,338
-[Carol] Thank you.
-And don't forget the drywall.
1540
01:23:30,421 --> 01:23:31,421
Oh, yeah. Well--
1541
01:23:31,505 --> 01:23:34,505
I always thought the house could've done
with a little remodeling anyway. So…
1542
01:23:34,588 --> 01:23:38,213
Keep it on those settings, Terry.
All right. Take it easy. All right. Sorry.
1543
01:23:38,296 --> 01:23:40,296
Sorry, everybody. That was work.
Apologies.
1544
01:23:40,380 --> 01:23:41,588
On Christmas Day?
1545
01:23:41,671 --> 01:23:45,338
Jeff has been promoted
to District Manager.
1546
01:23:45,421 --> 01:23:47,713
There's no Christmas for the cloud, Mike.
1547
01:23:47,796 --> 01:23:49,255
The cloud never sleeps.
1548
01:23:49,338 --> 01:23:52,338
And I provide 24-7 cloud
management services. And that includes--
1549
01:23:52,421 --> 01:23:53,963
[clears throat] Dad.
1550
01:23:54,463 --> 01:23:55,588
Oh.
1551
01:23:55,671 --> 01:23:56,838
Let's make a toast.
1552
01:23:56,921 --> 01:24:00,005
-Yes.
-Oh, um, can I get one of those?
1553
01:24:04,921 --> 01:24:07,046
You know, they're quite sugary.
1554
01:24:07,130 --> 01:24:08,796
I think we should let him have the soda.
1555
01:24:09,880 --> 01:24:11,630
Remember what happened last time?
1556
01:24:11,713 --> 01:24:13,380
[all laugh]
1557
01:24:15,921 --> 01:24:17,588
-There you go, buddy.
-Thanks.
1558
01:24:17,671 --> 01:24:19,838
-Huh? Oh. [chuckles]
-[all laugh]
1559
01:24:19,921 --> 01:24:21,088
Cheers.
1560
01:24:22,588 --> 01:24:23,880
To new friends.
1561
01:24:23,963 --> 01:24:26,005
-And family.
-Mmm.
1562
01:24:26,088 --> 01:24:28,713
And me having
no permanent neurological damage.
1563
01:24:28,796 --> 01:24:31,421
-[all laugh]
-Yeah, that's good.
1564
01:24:31,505 --> 01:24:35,005
And here's to Max
for bringing us all together.
1565
01:24:35,588 --> 01:24:36,755
Merry Christmas, everybody.
1566
01:24:36,838 --> 01:24:38,630
-Merry Christmas!
-[Mike] Cheers.
1567
01:24:38,713 --> 01:24:41,005
-[Carol] Merry Christmas, darling.
-[chattering]
1568
01:24:41,088 --> 01:24:42,421
Merry Christmas. Cheers, darling.
1569
01:24:43,546 --> 01:24:46,213
-[Jeff] Merry Christmas, everyone!
-[glasses clinking]
114213
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