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Previously on
Young Sheldon...Billy!
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Mr. Cooper is here.
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How you doing?
4
00:00:08,573 --> 00:00:11,098
Do not look under that rock.
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But I appreciate you asking.
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Hey, you got rejected.
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But was it the end of the world?
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No.
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And that is
extremely valuable information.
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And honestly...
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you dodged a bullet with Missy.
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The girl is mean.
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Thanks.
14
00:00:36,558 --> 00:00:38,038
Come on, Missy!
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Hey.
Hey!
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Came to see your man be
a leader of little people, huh?
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I came to see
my granddaughter pitch.
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Yeah, under
my leadership.
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All right, Cooper,
let's see what you got.
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00:00:48,309 --> 00:00:49,571
Come on, girl!
21
00:00:52,443 --> 00:00:53,923
Come on, shake it off!
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00:00:53,966 --> 00:00:55,533
You got this.
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What the hell was that?
24
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Well, there's
some leadership.
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Time!
26
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Cooper!
27
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Time!
28
00:01:10,809 --> 00:01:13,812
Cooper, what is the problem?
29
00:01:13,856 --> 00:01:16,032
The ball isn't going
where it's supposed to.
30
00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:17,120
I saw that.
31
00:01:17,164 --> 00:01:18,208
What am I doing wrong?
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Just a little case of the yips.
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It happens.
What's that?
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The yips-- you know,
it's when you're thinking
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about stuff in your head
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00:01:26,434 --> 00:01:28,349
and something you've
done a million times,
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00:01:28,392 --> 00:01:31,134
you can't do it anymore.
Even the pros get it.
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00:01:31,961 --> 00:01:33,223
How do I get rid of it?
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00:01:33,267 --> 00:01:35,573
Uh, just don't think about it.
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Okay.
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Don't think, just throw.
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I hate the little people.
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♪ I am a mighty little man.♪
44
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Damn it!
45
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Brenda?
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00:02:22,533 --> 00:02:23,926
What?
47
00:02:23,969 --> 00:02:25,449
Everything okay over there?
48
00:02:25,493 --> 00:02:27,190
Oh, yeah.
49
00:02:28,235 --> 00:02:29,410
Okay.
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00:02:30,498 --> 00:02:31,760
Damn it!
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Okay, give her a go.
52
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You're a lifesaver.
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It's a gift.
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Can I offer you a beer
and some thank-you cobbler?
55
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Weren't you
on your way somewhere?
56
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Weight Watchers.
57
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What do you say?
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Eh, sure.
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00:02:54,783 --> 00:02:57,002
Do guys ever go to those
Weight Watchers meetings?
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Yeah, but they're all fat.
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00:03:01,137 --> 00:03:03,748
Of all the tests
one takes in school,
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00:03:03,792 --> 00:03:06,577
my favorite was the midterm.
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00:03:06,621 --> 00:03:08,100
Finals weren't bad,
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00:03:08,144 --> 00:03:09,754
but they also meant
summer was approaching.
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00:03:09,798 --> 00:03:12,540
I don't believe in religion,
but sunshine,
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00:03:12,583 --> 00:03:14,237
picnics and pool parties
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are proof hell exists.
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00:03:26,293 --> 00:03:27,598
Aah!
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00:03:27,642 --> 00:03:28,904
Why are you trying to hit me?
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I'm trying to hit the target.
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00:03:31,036 --> 00:03:32,124
It's over there.
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00:03:32,168 --> 00:03:34,388
I know, dingus.
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00:03:36,694 --> 00:03:38,392
I thought you were good at this.
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I was.
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00:03:39,349 --> 00:03:41,873
Coach Dale says I have the yips.
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00:03:41,917 --> 00:03:43,658
It's not contagious, is it?
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00:03:43,701 --> 00:03:45,834
No, it happens in sports.
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00:03:45,877 --> 00:03:48,271
Suddenly you can't do a thing
that used to be easy.
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00:03:48,315 --> 00:03:50,055
It doesn't sound real.
80
00:03:50,099 --> 00:03:52,014
Then why can't I pitch anymore?
81
00:03:52,057 --> 00:03:53,929
Ooh, perhaps
it's the onset of puberty
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00:03:53,972 --> 00:03:56,192
and the hysterical mood swings
that go with it.
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00:03:56,236 --> 00:03:57,715
Dingus, house.
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00:03:57,759 --> 00:03:59,761
You're only proving my point.
85
00:04:03,939 --> 00:04:05,810
What, Billy won an award?
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Participation.
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00:04:08,335 --> 00:04:09,336
Big whoop.
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00:04:09,379 --> 00:04:10,815
I guess it's something.
89
00:04:10,859 --> 00:04:12,295
Well, he ain't
the sharpest pencil in the box,
90
00:04:12,339 --> 00:04:14,602
but he's the sweetest kid
I know.
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00:04:14,645 --> 00:04:16,778
Well, Sheldon is
the sharpest pencil.
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00:04:16,821 --> 00:04:18,606
Sometimes I'd just like
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00:04:18,649 --> 00:04:20,260
to shove his head in that box.
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00:04:20,303 --> 00:04:22,653
Where's your trash?
95
00:04:22,697 --> 00:04:23,959
Everywhere.
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00:04:24,002 --> 00:04:26,657
But the basket's under the sink.
Mm.
97
00:04:30,095 --> 00:04:31,967
You know your faucet's leaking?
98
00:04:32,010 --> 00:04:34,448
Yep, this whole place is
falling apart.
99
00:04:34,491 --> 00:04:35,971
Well...
100
00:04:36,014 --> 00:04:37,929
I'll come over another time,
and take care of it.
Oh.
101
00:04:37,973 --> 00:04:39,888
You know, you don't
have to do that.
102
00:04:39,931 --> 00:04:41,411
One more?
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00:04:42,325 --> 00:04:44,632
I should get going.
104
00:04:44,675 --> 00:04:46,416
Well, thanks again.
105
00:04:48,853 --> 00:04:51,291
Want to buy a house?
106
00:04:53,118 --> 00:04:54,685
Hey,
where you been?
107
00:04:54,729 --> 00:04:57,209
Ah, Brenda was having
car trouble.
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00:04:57,253 --> 00:04:58,559
Just giving her hand.
That's nice.
109
00:04:58,602 --> 00:05:01,083
I'm sure it's hard
being by herself.
110
00:05:01,126 --> 00:05:02,389
Yeah.
111
00:05:02,432 --> 00:05:04,042
That whole house is
in need of repair.
112
00:05:04,086 --> 00:05:06,131
I hope you offered
to help her out.
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00:05:06,175 --> 00:05:08,090
I did... she said no.
114
00:05:08,133 --> 00:05:10,092
Well, that's
just her being proud.
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00:05:10,135 --> 00:05:12,268
Of course she wants your help.
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00:05:13,443 --> 00:05:16,403
I guess some time I'll pop over.
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00:05:16,446 --> 00:05:18,013
Good.
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00:05:18,056 --> 00:05:20,189
And when you go,
hitch up your pants.
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00:05:20,232 --> 00:05:22,322
There's a lot going on
when you squat.
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00:05:22,365 --> 00:05:23,932
All right.
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00:05:23,975 --> 00:05:25,325
You have 45 minutes to complete
122
00:05:25,368 --> 00:05:27,370
the test,
eyes on your own paper and...
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00:05:27,414 --> 00:05:30,373
Yes, Sheldon, if you finish
early, you can take it again.
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00:05:30,417 --> 00:05:31,766
And...
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00:05:31,809 --> 00:05:33,071
begin!
126
00:05:33,115 --> 00:05:34,290
And I was off.
127
00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:36,074
I flew through wave functions.
128
00:05:36,118 --> 00:05:38,120
I dominated
harmonic oscillators.
129
00:05:38,163 --> 00:05:40,122
The only challenging part
of this exam
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00:05:40,165 --> 00:05:42,559
was trying to balance
the desire to finish quickly
131
00:05:42,603 --> 00:05:45,519
with the urge to stop and smell
my freshly sharpened pencil.
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00:05:46,520 --> 00:05:47,651
Mmm.
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00:05:47,695 --> 00:05:49,305
I was in the zone.
134
00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:51,046
Only one question left.
135
00:05:51,089 --> 00:05:52,308
All I needed to do
136
00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:54,266
was solve Schrodinger's equation
137
00:05:54,310 --> 00:05:56,704
in a cylindrical well
by employing the zeroes
138
00:05:56,747 --> 00:05:58,880
of the Bessel function,
which of course were...
139
00:06:00,751 --> 00:06:02,623
Wait, what are they?
140
00:06:02,666 --> 00:06:04,189
Come on, you know this.
141
00:06:04,233 --> 00:06:06,235
You've done it a million times.
142
00:06:07,541 --> 00:06:09,804
Oh, dear.
143
00:06:17,594 --> 00:06:20,075
All right, Sheldon,
time to turn in your test.
144
00:06:20,118 --> 00:06:21,293
I'm not done yet.
145
00:06:21,337 --> 00:06:23,383
I know you like to add
146
00:06:23,426 --> 00:06:25,515
your own "better questions"
at the end,
147
00:06:25,559 --> 00:06:27,299
but for the last time,
I don't count them.
148
00:06:27,343 --> 00:06:29,954
I just need a few more
minutes on this problem.
149
00:06:29,998 --> 00:06:31,434
That's an easy one.
150
00:06:31,478 --> 00:06:33,044
Just apply the zeroes
of the Bessel function.
151
00:06:33,088 --> 00:06:34,698
I know what I have to do.
152
00:06:34,742 --> 00:06:36,221
Is this is a tantrum?
153
00:06:36,265 --> 00:06:37,962
I've heard children your age
like to throw them.
154
00:06:38,006 --> 00:06:39,877
I can't remember what the zeroes
155
00:06:39,921 --> 00:06:41,705
of the Bessel function are.
156
00:06:41,749 --> 00:06:42,880
You didn't memorize them?
157
00:06:42,924 --> 00:06:45,100
Of course I did--
October 7, 1988.
158
00:06:45,143 --> 00:06:46,710
I had just had
a bowl of Teddy Grahams.
159
00:06:46,754 --> 00:06:48,277
Then what's the problem?
160
00:06:49,104 --> 00:06:51,715
I'm blanking, but I'll get it.
161
00:06:51,759 --> 00:06:52,847
Sorry, son, class is over.
162
00:06:52,890 --> 00:06:54,283
No, I can do this.
163
00:06:54,326 --> 00:06:56,285
It's just one question.
You'll still pass.
164
00:06:56,328 --> 00:06:58,635
Sheldon Cooper doesn't
"just pass."
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00:06:58,679 --> 00:07:00,071
I have an idea.
166
00:07:00,115 --> 00:07:01,464
Let me see the test.
167
00:07:01,508 --> 00:07:03,248
Thank you.
168
00:07:03,292 --> 00:07:05,468
Sheldon Cooper isn't always
169
00:07:05,512 --> 00:07:07,078
that gullible.
He was today.
170
00:07:12,606 --> 00:07:15,217
All right, almost there.
171
00:07:15,260 --> 00:07:17,437
Hand me
a screwdriver.
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00:07:17,480 --> 00:07:19,177
Don't stick this
in an outlet.
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00:07:19,221 --> 00:07:20,527
It really tingles.
174
00:07:21,353 --> 00:07:23,617
We had an incident.
Yeah.
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00:07:23,660 --> 00:07:26,054
You know what?
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00:07:26,097 --> 00:07:27,316
Why don't you fix it?
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00:07:27,359 --> 00:07:28,709
Really?
Yeah, you see
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00:07:28,752 --> 00:07:29,710
that little screw there?
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00:07:29,753 --> 00:07:31,102
Just go ahead
and tighten her up.
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00:07:31,146 --> 00:07:33,191
Like this?
Yep.
181
00:07:33,235 --> 00:07:35,933
What now?
182
00:07:35,977 --> 00:07:37,761
Uh, run outside
and turn the water back on.
183
00:07:37,805 --> 00:07:40,068
Here, I'm not allowed
to run with this.
184
00:07:40,111 --> 00:07:43,027
We've had a lot of incidents.
185
00:07:44,594 --> 00:07:46,596
Who knew you were so handy?
Yeah.
186
00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:48,816
There's just things
guys need to be good at.
187
00:07:48,859 --> 00:07:50,818
What else you good at?
188
00:07:53,560 --> 00:07:55,213
I should go.
189
00:08:00,131 --> 00:08:02,003
Hey, pretty lady.
190
00:08:02,046 --> 00:08:04,309
Are you drinking already?
No!
191
00:08:04,353 --> 00:08:07,008
Can't a guy give
his wife a compliment?
192
00:08:07,051 --> 00:08:08,662
Do I have to smell your breath?
193
00:08:08,705 --> 00:08:10,272
How about a kiss instead?
194
00:08:10,315 --> 00:08:11,665
What is with you?
195
00:08:11,708 --> 00:08:13,188
Well, I don't know.
196
00:08:13,231 --> 00:08:15,320
Kids aren't home.
197
00:08:15,364 --> 00:08:18,019
Now? I'm doing laundry.
198
00:08:18,062 --> 00:08:19,455
Laundry can wait.
199
00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:20,848
So can your thing.
200
00:08:20,891 --> 00:08:22,458
I like to think of it
as our thing,
201
00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:25,548
but if you only have time
for my thing, that's fine, too.
202
00:08:25,592 --> 00:08:27,463
You're being weird.
203
00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:29,247
Weird sexy?
204
00:08:29,291 --> 00:08:30,379
No.
205
00:08:30,422 --> 00:08:32,424
Headed to the bedroom?
No!
206
00:08:32,468 --> 00:08:34,688
Just checking.
207
00:08:36,864 --> 00:08:38,909
Missy!
208
00:08:38,953 --> 00:08:41,129
You gave me your yips.
209
00:08:41,172 --> 00:08:42,522
What?
210
00:08:42,565 --> 00:08:44,132
I froze on a test.
That's never happened before.
211
00:08:44,175 --> 00:08:45,394
It's all your fault.
212
00:08:45,437 --> 00:08:46,917
I told you it's not contagious.
213
00:08:46,961 --> 00:08:48,223
You put the thought in my head.
214
00:08:48,266 --> 00:08:49,833
The power of suggestion is
very real.
215
00:08:49,877 --> 00:08:51,922
Case in point: tulip mania.
216
00:08:51,966 --> 00:08:53,881
Here we go.
Tulip mania
217
00:08:53,924 --> 00:08:55,665
was an insane desire
to buy and trade
218
00:08:55,709 --> 00:08:57,188
tulip bulbs in the 1600s.
219
00:08:57,232 --> 00:08:58,973
It nearly ruined
the Dutch economy.
220
00:08:59,016 --> 00:09:00,931
You would not believe
the gilders they were spending.
221
00:09:00,975 --> 00:09:02,672
How can you remember
this stupid information,
222
00:09:02,716 --> 00:09:04,369
but not the stuff on your test?
223
00:09:04,413 --> 00:09:05,719
You tell me, they're your yips.
224
00:09:05,762 --> 00:09:07,590
Sheldon, if I knew
how to make it stop,
225
00:09:07,634 --> 00:09:08,939
I would tell you.
226
00:09:08,983 --> 00:09:10,637
You better.
227
00:09:10,680 --> 00:09:13,335
Maybe it's puberty
making you all emotional.
228
00:09:13,378 --> 00:09:15,598
I checked my armpits--
smooth as balloons.
229
00:09:18,645 --> 00:09:20,864
Hey.
230
00:09:21,778 --> 00:09:23,040
What's your problem?
231
00:09:23,084 --> 00:09:24,520
I don't want to talk about it.
232
00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:26,696
Great.
I had a mental block
233
00:09:26,740 --> 00:09:28,176
on a test
and it was something that
234
00:09:28,219 --> 00:09:29,656
I absolutely know how to do.
235
00:09:29,699 --> 00:09:31,962
Oh, you know, that sort of thing
happens in sports, too.
236
00:09:32,006 --> 00:09:33,311
I know. It's called the yips,
237
00:09:33,355 --> 00:09:34,443
and it's a very silly name
238
00:09:34,486 --> 00:09:35,836
for a very serious problem.
239
00:09:35,879 --> 00:09:37,664
Well, you know,
the best thing to do
240
00:09:37,707 --> 00:09:39,535
is get out of your head.
241
00:09:40,318 --> 00:09:41,406
How do I do that?
242
00:09:41,450 --> 00:09:43,017
Just turn your brain off.
243
00:09:43,931 --> 00:09:45,454
It's like I'm not even your son.
244
00:09:45,497 --> 00:09:46,934
Look.
245
00:09:46,977 --> 00:09:48,849
I know you don't respect
what I do as a coach.
246
00:09:48,892 --> 00:09:50,285
Maybe you do know me.
247
00:09:50,328 --> 00:09:53,070
But this is a thing
I actually know about.
248
00:09:53,114 --> 00:09:55,116
I've seen it happen
to my players.
249
00:09:55,159 --> 00:09:57,031
I've seen it happen
to pros in golf.
250
00:09:57,074 --> 00:09:58,510
In baseball.
251
00:09:58,554 --> 00:10:00,034
The answer is always the same.
252
00:10:00,077 --> 00:10:02,689
Stop thinking and
get out of your own way.
253
00:10:02,732 --> 00:10:05,169
I don't know how to do that.
254
00:10:06,127 --> 00:10:08,912
Have you ever heard
the Nike slogan "Just do it"?
255
00:10:08,956 --> 00:10:10,740
I'm familiar with the phrase
"let's do it,"
256
00:10:10,784 --> 00:10:12,699
uttered by Gary Gilmore,
the last person
257
00:10:12,742 --> 00:10:15,440
to be executed
by firing squad in America.
258
00:10:16,790 --> 00:10:19,706
Okay, well, it's a shoe slogan.
259
00:10:19,749 --> 00:10:22,099
And it's good advice.
260
00:10:22,143 --> 00:10:23,971
The answer is already
in your head.
261
00:10:24,014 --> 00:10:25,537
Don't think so hard.
262
00:10:25,581 --> 00:10:27,148
Just do it.
263
00:10:28,410 --> 00:10:29,759
I'll try.
264
00:10:29,803 --> 00:10:31,413
Good man.
265
00:10:32,196 --> 00:10:34,416
Another fun footwear slogan is
"I'm Buster Brown.
266
00:10:34,459 --> 00:10:36,679
"I live in a shoe.
That's my dog Tige.
267
00:10:36,723 --> 00:10:38,115
Look for him there, too."
268
00:10:38,159 --> 00:10:40,161
Mm, I think mine is
more helpful.
269
00:10:40,204 --> 00:10:41,989
Well, mine rhymes, so...
270
00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:47,124
I decided to heed
my father's advice.
271
00:10:47,168 --> 00:10:49,649
I wasn't sure
how to turn off my brain.
272
00:10:49,692 --> 00:10:52,347
Thankfully,
I lived with an expert.
273
00:10:52,390 --> 00:10:54,436
What's up?
274
00:10:54,479 --> 00:10:57,004
I've never really thought
about not thinking before.
275
00:10:57,047 --> 00:10:58,701
Well, I'm asking you
to think about it.
276
00:10:58,745 --> 00:11:01,138
But I thought you were
interested in not thinking.
277
00:11:01,182 --> 00:11:02,792
I am. I want you
to think about not thinking,
278
00:11:02,836 --> 00:11:04,141
and then teach me how to do it.
279
00:11:04,185 --> 00:11:05,316
Do what?
280
00:11:05,360 --> 00:11:06,448
Not think.
281
00:11:06,491 --> 00:11:08,537
All right.
282
00:11:11,018 --> 00:11:12,584
This is tough.
283
00:11:12,628 --> 00:11:14,935
I'm good at not thinking,
but I don't think
284
00:11:14,978 --> 00:11:16,893
I can teach you how to not think
without thinking.
285
00:11:16,937 --> 00:11:19,243
Hmm, well, thank you for trying.
286
00:11:19,287 --> 00:11:20,810
Hold on!
What if you're thinking
287
00:11:20,854 --> 00:11:22,290
about something else instead?
288
00:11:22,333 --> 00:11:24,292
Would that count as thinking
or not thinking?
289
00:11:24,335 --> 00:11:26,424
I suppose
it's similar to the mantras
290
00:11:26,468 --> 00:11:28,339
extolled
by the sages of the east.
291
00:11:28,383 --> 00:11:30,254
It's a practice
that Swami Vivekananda
292
00:11:30,298 --> 00:11:32,343
called Japa Yoga
and it's intended to bring out
293
00:11:32,387 --> 00:11:35,129
a single-pointedness
of concentration.
294
00:11:36,608 --> 00:11:38,306
Sorry, I zoned out.
295
00:11:38,349 --> 00:11:40,525
Ooh, tell me how.Let's see.
296
00:11:40,569 --> 00:11:41,657
You were blabbering.
297
00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:43,528
It all started to blur together.
298
00:11:43,572 --> 00:11:44,878
And I was gone.
299
00:11:44,921 --> 00:11:46,270
At what point
did it start to happen?
300
00:11:46,314 --> 00:11:48,011
I don't know.
Say it again.
301
00:11:48,055 --> 00:11:49,012
I said I suppose
302
00:11:49,056 --> 00:11:50,405
it's similar to the mantras
303
00:11:50,448 --> 00:11:52,276
extolled
by the sages of the east.
304
00:11:52,320 --> 00:11:55,497
It's a practice that Swami
Vivekananda called Japa Yoga...
305
00:12:04,549 --> 00:12:06,508
That is wild.
306
00:12:12,949 --> 00:12:15,386
The next day, armed
with the sage advice
307
00:12:15,430 --> 00:12:17,780
of my father, my brother,
308
00:12:17,824 --> 00:12:20,609
and an executed murderer, I was
allowed to retake the test.
309
00:12:20,652 --> 00:12:23,655
You have 45 minutes
starting now.
310
00:12:24,961 --> 00:12:26,136
Okay, just do it.
311
00:12:26,180 --> 00:12:27,485
Just do it.
312
00:12:27,529 --> 00:12:29,313
Just turn your brain off
and do it.
313
00:12:30,140 --> 00:12:31,794
Is it off? Am I doing it?
314
00:12:31,838 --> 00:12:34,362
Wait, if I'm thinking it's off,
then it must still be on.
315
00:12:34,405 --> 00:12:37,017
I'm trying too hard.
Don't overthink, just do it.
316
00:12:37,060 --> 00:12:39,802
Just do it, just--
317
00:12:39,846 --> 00:12:41,935
Time's up.
318
00:12:42,892 --> 00:12:44,067
But I didn't do it.
319
00:12:44,111 --> 00:12:45,416
Waste my morning?
320
00:12:45,460 --> 00:12:46,504
You did it.
321
00:12:46,548 --> 00:12:48,724
That toilet won't stop running.
322
00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:50,639
Have you tried
jiggling the handle?
323
00:12:50,682 --> 00:12:52,075
I jiggled it, wiggled it.
324
00:12:52,119 --> 00:12:53,555
Damn near had a baby with it.
325
00:12:53,598 --> 00:12:55,165
Yeah, let me take a look.
326
00:12:55,209 --> 00:12:57,777
I was fixing to put some dinner
on, if you care to join me.
327
00:12:58,647 --> 00:13:00,127
I don't want to put you out.
328
00:13:00,170 --> 00:13:01,781
It's just frozen lasagna.
329
00:13:01,824 --> 00:13:04,740
But I'm going oven
instead of microwave,
330
00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:06,437
'cause you're company.
331
00:13:06,481 --> 00:13:08,439
What are you doing?
332
00:13:08,483 --> 00:13:09,658
What do you mean?
333
00:13:09,701 --> 00:13:11,965
You know what I mean.
334
00:13:13,618 --> 00:13:15,838
I was just trying to thank you.
335
00:13:15,882 --> 00:13:17,622
And you're the one
who offered
336
00:13:17,666 --> 00:13:19,233
to come over here
and fix things.
337
00:13:19,276 --> 00:13:20,495
I was being nice.
338
00:13:20,538 --> 00:13:21,583
So was I.
339
00:13:21,626 --> 00:13:23,237
Yeah, maybe a little too nice.
340
00:13:23,280 --> 00:13:25,239
There is no pleasing you.
341
00:13:25,282 --> 00:13:26,370
Well, I don't need this here.
342
00:13:26,414 --> 00:13:27,458
I can get fighting at my house.
343
00:13:27,502 --> 00:13:28,459
Then maybe you should go back
344
00:13:28,503 --> 00:13:29,852
to your house.
345
00:13:29,896 --> 00:13:32,463
Mom, can you help
with my homework?
346
00:13:32,507 --> 00:13:34,901
There in a sec.
347
00:13:34,944 --> 00:13:36,772
You leaving?
348
00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:38,208
You gonna fix the toilet?
349
00:13:38,252 --> 00:13:39,862
No.
Then I guess I'm not leaving.
350
00:13:39,906 --> 00:13:41,211
Thank you. Lasagna?
351
00:13:41,255 --> 00:13:42,909
Small piece.
Mary's making tacos.
352
00:13:42,952 --> 00:13:44,606
Okay.
353
00:13:44,649 --> 00:13:46,521
Trying to outsmart
my own thought patterns
354
00:13:46,564 --> 00:13:47,957
proved to be challenging.
355
00:13:48,001 --> 00:13:51,265
It's understandable,
as smart as I was,
356
00:13:51,308 --> 00:13:53,136
I was also that smart.
357
00:13:53,180 --> 00:13:56,836
I wondered if I could invent
a mind control device,
358
00:13:56,879 --> 00:13:59,839
but that sounded
a little too "mwah-ha-ha"
359
00:13:59,882 --> 00:14:01,449
even for me.
It turned out
360
00:14:01,492 --> 00:14:03,277
the device I was looking for
361
00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:05,888
had been in my presence
the entire time.
362
00:14:05,932 --> 00:14:07,934
Television.
It had been tranquilizing
363
00:14:07,977 --> 00:14:10,284
the minds of America's
youth for generations,
364
00:14:10,327 --> 00:14:12,286
and it was just what I needed.
365
00:14:12,329 --> 00:14:13,940
Lift off.
366
00:14:13,983 --> 00:14:15,767
Too interesting.
367
00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:18,118
Too violent.
368
00:14:19,554 --> 00:14:21,861
I don't think so.
369
00:14:21,904 --> 00:14:25,125
Now, then, let's build us
a little cloud.
370
00:14:25,168 --> 00:14:27,301
Clouds are very free.
371
00:14:27,344 --> 00:14:29,259
Very, very free.
372
00:14:29,303 --> 00:14:30,652
Tell you what. If you...
373
00:14:30,695 --> 00:14:32,262
That was so much fun,
let's get crazy...
374
00:14:32,306 --> 00:14:35,265
Who's this bohemian?
375
00:14:35,309 --> 00:14:36,832
If you could have
376
00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:39,443
any job in the high school,
what would it be?
377
00:14:39,487 --> 00:14:41,924
I don't know, why?
378
00:14:41,968 --> 00:14:44,144
Sometimes I look
at the janitor
379
00:14:44,187 --> 00:14:46,015
pushing around
that buffing machine.
380
00:14:46,059 --> 00:14:48,148
That thing looks like a blast.
381
00:14:49,018 --> 00:14:50,411
He doesn't wear a tie.
382
00:14:50,454 --> 00:14:52,543
No fights
with the school board.
383
00:14:53,414 --> 00:14:56,852
Vomit and feces aside,
he's, he's living the dream.
384
00:14:58,332 --> 00:15:00,812
Hello? Am I boring you?
385
00:15:00,856 --> 00:15:01,857
Sorry.
386
00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:03,206
I'm a little distracted.
387
00:15:03,250 --> 00:15:05,208
Trouble at home?
388
00:15:06,122 --> 00:15:07,950
Something like that.
Mm.
389
00:15:07,994 --> 00:15:09,386
You want to talk about it?
390
00:15:10,605 --> 00:15:12,302
No.
391
00:15:12,346 --> 00:15:14,435
Tell me about your
fun bachelor life.
392
00:15:14,478 --> 00:15:16,524
Well, as of last week,
I officially
393
00:15:16,567 --> 00:15:19,005
tasted every Campbell's soup.
394
00:15:19,048 --> 00:15:20,702
Come on, Tom.
395
00:15:20,745 --> 00:15:22,530
I'm trying to live
vicariously here.
396
00:15:22,573 --> 00:15:24,097
There's got to be
something good.
397
00:15:24,140 --> 00:15:27,100
Let's see, I go hunting and
fishing whenever I feel like it.
398
00:15:27,143 --> 00:15:28,710
Now we're getting
somewhere.
399
00:15:28,753 --> 00:15:32,018
Spend my money
on whatever I want.
Mm.
400
00:15:32,061 --> 00:15:33,933
What was the last
thing you got?
401
00:15:33,976 --> 00:15:36,718
Foreman fight on pay-per-view.
402
00:15:36,761 --> 00:15:39,982
I ate a bucket of chicken
and watched it in my underwear.
403
00:15:40,026 --> 00:15:41,549
You lucky bastard.
404
00:15:41,592 --> 00:15:42,942
Uh-huh.
405
00:15:42,985 --> 00:15:44,900
What about women?
406
00:15:44,944 --> 00:15:47,033
Honestly...
407
00:15:47,076 --> 00:15:49,731
it's tough to meet people
at this age.
408
00:15:49,774 --> 00:15:52,168
No, come on, charming
fella like you?
409
00:15:53,300 --> 00:15:54,518
Sadly, this is
the best night out
410
00:15:54,562 --> 00:15:56,303
I've had in a long time.
411
00:15:56,346 --> 00:15:58,653
Yeah. Me, too.
412
00:15:59,480 --> 00:16:02,570
But if you know anybody,
send them my way.
413
00:16:05,877 --> 00:16:08,097
Yeah, I'll think about.
414
00:16:09,620 --> 00:16:12,014
You ever eat chicken
in your underwear?
415
00:16:12,058 --> 00:16:13,102
What do you think?
416
00:16:13,146 --> 00:16:15,235
Yes.Yes.
417
00:16:15,278 --> 00:16:16,801
Making
a gorgeous little mountain.
418
00:16:16,845 --> 00:16:18,281
Ooh.
419
00:16:18,325 --> 00:16:20,414
Little stand of evergreens
that lives right in here.
420
00:16:20,457 --> 00:16:22,894
I didn't know
Richard Simmons can paint.
421
00:16:22,938 --> 00:16:24,418
His name's Bob Ross.
422
00:16:24,461 --> 00:16:26,115
And he's oddly hypnotic.
423
00:16:26,159 --> 00:16:27,508
You're gonna paint?
424
00:16:27,551 --> 00:16:29,162
No, I just like watching him.
425
00:16:29,205 --> 00:16:30,859
I can't explain it,
but his voice
426
00:16:30,902 --> 00:16:33,514
and demeanor are comforting,
like a hot beverage.
427
00:16:33,557 --> 00:16:35,646
Let's get crazy and, once again,
428
00:16:35,690 --> 00:16:38,084
just pull it out, just like
we did the other one.
429
00:16:38,127 --> 00:16:39,520
Yawn.
430
00:16:39,563 --> 00:16:42,784
Barely touch, whisper.
431
00:16:42,827 --> 00:16:44,786
Just whisper light.
432
00:16:44,829 --> 00:16:46,266
Let it go.
433
00:16:46,309 --> 00:16:48,442
Let it go, no pressure.
434
00:16:48,485 --> 00:16:50,966
The yips are a cruel mistress.
435
00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:54,274
But thanks to a magical man
with a halo of curls,
436
00:16:54,317 --> 00:16:58,017
I was finally able to relax
and get out of my own head.
437
00:16:58,060 --> 00:17:02,282
Instead of freezing up,
I thought about happy integers.
438
00:17:02,325 --> 00:17:04,806
Fluffy little formulas
439
00:17:04,849 --> 00:17:07,026
and a sweet Bessel function
that just wants me
440
00:17:07,069 --> 00:17:08,070
to do my very best.
441
00:17:08,114 --> 00:17:09,419
Done.
442
00:17:09,463 --> 00:17:10,855
Great, I can still make
my doubles match.
443
00:17:10,899 --> 00:17:12,379
Get out.
444
00:17:20,387 --> 00:17:21,562
Damn it.
445
00:17:21,605 --> 00:17:23,999
Hold it.
Time, time, time.
Time!
446
00:17:24,043 --> 00:17:26,001
I don't know
what I'm doing wrong.
447
00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:27,872
Ah, don't worry about it.
It's not your fault.
448
00:17:27,916 --> 00:17:29,352
It isn't?
No, I'm the one
449
00:17:29,396 --> 00:17:32,007
that let a girl pitch.
It's my mistake.
450
00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:34,575
What? I've won so many games.
451
00:17:34,618 --> 00:17:35,750
Oh, that was then.
452
00:17:35,793 --> 00:17:37,360
Why are you being so mean?
453
00:17:37,404 --> 00:17:40,102
Well, why are you getting
so emotional, like women do?
454
00:17:40,146 --> 00:17:42,235
Maybe you ought to be
a cheerleader.
455
00:17:42,278 --> 00:17:44,106
You trying to make me mad?
456
00:17:44,150 --> 00:17:45,847
Is it working?
Yeah.
457
00:17:45,890 --> 00:17:47,066
Well, I tell you what,
458
00:17:47,109 --> 00:17:49,372
picture my face
in the catcher's mitt.
459
00:17:49,416 --> 00:17:50,373
What?
460
00:17:50,417 --> 00:17:51,853
Do I have to dumb it down
for you?
461
00:17:51,896 --> 00:17:54,029
Just do what I tell you.
462
00:18:02,429 --> 00:18:04,344
Strike!
Yes!
463
00:18:04,387 --> 00:18:07,564
Aw, don't get all hysterical,
little girl!
464
00:18:07,608 --> 00:18:09,262
You suck!
465
00:18:09,305 --> 00:18:10,089
You suck!
466
00:18:10,132 --> 00:18:12,221
No! You suck!
467
00:18:12,874 --> 00:18:14,093
Strike!
468
00:18:15,006 --> 00:18:18,227
I am the leader
of the little people.
31602
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