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1
00:00:03,864 --> 00:00:05,932
Oh, hey, Miss Jenkins.
How you doing today?
2
00:00:05,933 --> 00:00:10,102
Oh, child, I got these
damn bunions on my feet.
3
00:00:10,103 --> 00:00:12,205
I got a pedicure yesterday
4
00:00:12,206 --> 00:00:15,041
and I know they were talking about me,
5
00:00:15,042 --> 00:00:19,078
so I'm gonna learn Japanese,
Chinese, Korean, something,
6
00:00:19,079 --> 00:00:21,514
find out what them bitches be saying.
7
00:00:23,016 --> 00:00:25,485
A-All right, Miss Jenkins,
you have a good day.
8
00:00:25,486 --> 00:00:30,089
Eh, eh. I wasn't through talking.
9
00:00:45,706 --> 00:00:47,173
Hey.
10
00:00:47,174 --> 00:00:48,975
How my babies?
11
00:00:48,976 --> 00:00:51,143
Dad, why'd you send us a Cubs hat,
12
00:00:51,144 --> 00:00:52,979
20 juice boxes
13
00:00:52,980 --> 00:00:55,248
and 12 bow ties?
14
00:00:55,249 --> 00:00:57,517
Okay, look, look.
15
00:00:57,518 --> 00:01:01,454
Last night, I had a few... sodas,
16
00:01:01,455 --> 00:01:03,523
and, uh, I had a sugar rush, you know,
17
00:01:03,524 --> 00:01:05,358
and the-the sugar went to my head.
18
00:01:05,359 --> 00:01:07,426
I ended up ordering you guys
a bunch of stuff online and...
19
00:01:07,427 --> 00:01:09,629
How come you look so sad?
20
00:01:09,630 --> 00:01:11,097
Well, I...
21
00:01:11,098 --> 00:01:13,132
How come you look like
you haven't been sleeping?
22
00:01:13,133 --> 00:01:15,034
I mean, I've been trying
to get some sleep, but...
23
00:01:15,035 --> 00:01:16,502
Well, he looks like this
because since us
24
00:01:16,503 --> 00:01:18,137
and Mommy don't live with him anymore,
25
00:01:18,138 --> 00:01:20,374
he's gonna have to try
to rebuild his life
26
00:01:20,375 --> 00:01:23,709
and he's probably worried about
whether or not he even can.
27
00:01:23,710 --> 00:01:25,044
Right, Daddy?
28
00:01:26,547 --> 00:01:29,382
Is that why you look so bad, Daddy?
29
00:01:29,383 --> 00:01:30,883
- Look, look, look.
- It's okay, Daddy.
30
00:01:30,884 --> 00:01:32,552
I know you're sad.
31
00:01:32,553 --> 00:01:34,687
We can talk about this later
without Terry.
32
00:01:34,688 --> 00:01:35,988
I love you.
33
00:01:35,989 --> 00:01:38,224
Keep your head up.
34
00:01:38,225 --> 00:01:40,660
Bye, Daddy. Love you.
35
00:01:40,661 --> 00:01:42,895
Uh, I love you, too.
36
00:01:42,896 --> 00:01:45,398
And everything...
37
00:01:45,399 --> 00:01:47,733
everything's fine.
38
00:01:49,369 --> 00:01:51,604
Oh, no, it's not.
39
00:01:54,041 --> 00:01:57,310
Man, I got to stop
drunk-buying my kids gifts.
40
00:01:58,545 --> 00:01:59,845
Now, before we go,
41
00:01:59,846 --> 00:02:02,515
I just want to say always listen
42
00:02:02,516 --> 00:02:04,383
to that little voice in your head.
43
00:02:04,384 --> 00:02:06,485
I listen to that voice all the time,
44
00:02:06,486 --> 00:02:09,255
and look at me, I got
a talk show, a game show,
45
00:02:09,256 --> 00:02:11,557
and my wife sure is fine,
ain't she, y'all?
46
00:02:11,558 --> 00:02:12,858
Come on, y'all.
47
00:02:12,859 --> 00:02:14,694
Come on, put her on the screen.
48
00:02:14,695 --> 00:02:16,662
Mm-mm-mm.
49
00:02:18,599 --> 00:02:20,700
So go out there,
do something for yourself.
50
00:02:20,701 --> 00:02:22,268
Live your best life.
51
00:02:22,269 --> 00:02:25,538
And remember, you got to get
up before you sit down.
52
00:02:25,539 --> 00:02:26,906
Say it with me, y'all!
53
00:02:26,907 --> 00:02:30,109
You got to get up before you sit down.
54
00:02:30,110 --> 00:02:32,678
See you tomorrow
on The Clarence Hatch Show.
55
00:02:34,481 --> 00:02:36,449
Oh, that-that really peps
you up, when he says,
56
00:02:36,450 --> 00:02:39,251
"You got to get up
before you sit down."
57
00:02:39,252 --> 00:02:41,921
Sounds like a James Brown song.
58
00:02:41,922 --> 00:02:44,056
♪ You got to get up, ha, ha ♪
59
00:02:44,057 --> 00:02:46,092
♪ Before you sit down. ♪
60
00:02:53,300 --> 00:02:54,567
Rel.
61
00:02:56,236 --> 00:02:59,739
Rel.
62
00:02:59,740 --> 00:03:02,441
Rel.
63
00:03:02,442 --> 00:03:05,611
Girl, you almost got 409'd.
64
00:03:05,612 --> 00:03:07,480
Please tell me you're not wearing a
65
00:03:07,481 --> 00:03:09,148
bootleg outfit to brunch.
66
00:03:09,149 --> 00:03:11,083
You look like one of the kids
on the team
67
00:03:11,084 --> 00:03:12,585
who didn't sell all their candy bars.
68
00:03:14,621 --> 00:03:16,455
Look, look, I'm not wearing
this, okay?
69
00:03:16,456 --> 00:03:18,624
Look, I put all my clothes
in the wash before I realized
70
00:03:18,625 --> 00:03:21,293
- all I had left were my pajamas.
- You sleep in that?
71
00:03:21,294 --> 00:03:24,063
Yeah, I mean, you know,
guys don't wear real pajamas.
72
00:03:24,064 --> 00:03:26,499
You know, we wear the stuff
we won't wear outside.
73
00:03:26,500 --> 00:03:28,668
A fanny pack?
74
00:03:28,669 --> 00:03:31,337
This is not no ordinary fanny
pack, this is my wash belt.
75
00:03:31,338 --> 00:03:33,673
That's where I got my detergent,
uh, I got my fabric softener.
76
00:03:33,674 --> 00:03:36,676
Something you will never have to
carry in there, though: condoms.
77
00:03:38,111 --> 00:03:39,779
Look, okay, you can hate all you want,
78
00:03:39,780 --> 00:03:41,480
but you're not gonna kill
my vibe, all right?
79
00:03:41,481 --> 00:03:43,115
This brunch is the first thing
I've been able to do
80
00:03:43,116 --> 00:03:44,617
since Shannon left, you know?
81
00:03:44,618 --> 00:03:46,218
I'm starting over, I'm feeling good,
82
00:03:46,219 --> 00:03:47,720
because you know something?
You got to get up,
83
00:03:47,721 --> 00:03:50,589
- before you sit down.
- Before you sit down.
84
00:03:51,692 --> 00:03:53,459
- Oh, what's up, man?
- Hey.
85
00:03:53,460 --> 00:03:55,528
- Rel, I was shocked
- Hey, Pop.
86
00:03:55,529 --> 00:03:57,496
When you texted me about going
to this hip-hop jazz brunch.
87
00:03:57,497 --> 00:03:59,131
I thought you sit here
all day and just cry
88
00:03:59,132 --> 00:04:00,566
about your family being gone.
89
00:04:02,402 --> 00:04:04,970
I mean, Dad, if you know I-I'm
at home crying all the time,
90
00:04:04,971 --> 00:04:06,739
why you don't call or come visit me?
91
00:04:06,740 --> 00:04:08,574
You know I don't do tears, son.
92
00:04:08,575 --> 00:04:10,643
Look, I tried so hard to cry
when Obama won,
93
00:04:10,644 --> 00:04:12,078
only thing that happened was
94
00:04:12,079 --> 00:04:14,079
my eye started twitching instead, man.
95
00:04:15,615 --> 00:04:18,217
When Prince died, my eye
twitched for three days.
96
00:04:18,218 --> 00:04:20,920
My eye was...
97
00:04:22,956 --> 00:04:24,323
Listen, life threw me a curve ball,
98
00:04:24,324 --> 00:04:26,525
but right now I'm bouncing back.
99
00:04:26,526 --> 00:04:28,194
Bouncing back? Are you sure?
100
00:04:28,195 --> 00:04:29,829
'Cause this fake Bulls outfit
101
00:04:29,830 --> 00:04:32,498
is screaming "life just dumped
all over your ass."
102
00:04:33,900 --> 00:04:35,534
- Come on, man.
- Look, what kind of jersey
103
00:04:35,535 --> 00:04:37,970
- got a first name on it?
- Scottie!
104
00:04:37,971 --> 00:04:39,705
Look, I just think we deserve
105
00:04:39,706 --> 00:04:41,307
to do something for
ourselves, you know?
106
00:04:41,308 --> 00:04:42,875
We've been through a lot
the last year.
107
00:04:42,876 --> 00:04:45,745
You know, Mom passed away
and Nat did some time
108
00:04:45,746 --> 00:04:48,047
and Shannon left with the kids
and, you know, Brittany...
109
00:04:48,048 --> 00:04:51,751
Oh, I'm good. In fact, I'm killing it.
110
00:04:53,286 --> 00:04:55,921
But your pain is my pain, too.
111
00:04:57,958 --> 00:05:00,860
Wait a minute.
112
00:05:00,861 --> 00:05:02,128
Laundry is ready, y'all.
113
00:05:02,129 --> 00:05:04,630
That's right, I got a stopwatch.
114
00:05:04,631 --> 00:05:06,532
It's a key component of the wash belt.
115
00:05:06,533 --> 00:05:08,100
Be right back, guys.
116
00:05:11,838 --> 00:05:14,473
No, sorry, Rel,
but you can't go in there.
117
00:05:14,474 --> 00:05:15,908
Larry, what are you talking
about, "can't go in there"?
118
00:05:15,909 --> 00:05:17,176
My clothes are in the dryer.
119
00:05:17,177 --> 00:05:20,880
Oh, that sucks.
120
00:05:20,881 --> 00:05:23,349
The Lords are having
a meeting in there.
121
00:05:23,350 --> 00:05:27,186
Bruh, there's a gang having
a meeting in our laundry room?
122
00:05:27,187 --> 00:05:28,454
Yeah.
123
00:05:28,455 --> 00:05:29,889
Why did you let them in?
124
00:05:29,890 --> 00:05:31,792
What do you want me to do?
125
00:05:31,793 --> 00:05:35,294
For some reason, everybody in
this building thinks I'm Jet Li.
126
00:05:35,295 --> 00:05:37,396
You know something, Larry?
127
00:05:37,397 --> 00:05:38,798
I'm going in there.
128
00:05:38,799 --> 00:05:41,100
No, man, I can't let you do that.
129
00:05:41,101 --> 00:05:45,304
They said if anybody went in
there, it would be my ass.
130
00:05:45,305 --> 00:05:47,172
They're gonna take my ass.
131
00:05:53,903 --> 00:05:55,112
What's wrong Rel?
132
00:05:56,447 --> 00:05:58,548
So I couldn't get my clothes,
133
00:05:58,549 --> 00:06:00,984
and the reason is
is gonna sound insane.
134
00:06:00,985 --> 00:06:02,986
Uh...
135
00:06:02,987 --> 00:06:07,357
The Lords are having a meeting...
136
00:06:07,358 --> 00:06:09,659
in my laundry room.
137
00:06:09,660 --> 00:06:12,763
Hold up. There's a gang
in your laundry room? Why?
138
00:06:12,764 --> 00:06:14,998
Gentrification.
139
00:06:16,901 --> 00:06:20,871
Nat, that is literally
the opposite of gentrification.
140
00:06:20,872 --> 00:06:23,173
I thought when I moved in this
building full of old people,
141
00:06:23,174 --> 00:06:26,376
- I'd be safe.
- Rel, this is Chicago.
142
00:06:26,377 --> 00:06:29,146
You live in a bad neighborhood,
you're just in a nice building.
143
00:06:29,147 --> 00:06:30,480
What am I supposed to do, man,
you know?
144
00:06:30,481 --> 00:06:32,449
I can't call the police.
145
00:06:32,450 --> 00:06:35,319
I don't know if they're gonna
help me or lock me up, you know.
146
00:06:35,320 --> 00:06:38,488
And I come downstairs, they tell
me I fit the description,
147
00:06:38,489 --> 00:06:40,290
put me in a police car,
and I'm arguing, like, know.
148
00:06:40,291 --> 00:06:42,271
"Yeah, you think I'd call
the police on myself?"
149
00:06:43,494 --> 00:06:45,462
That actually happened
to my Uncle Bobby.
150
00:06:45,463 --> 00:06:47,097
He called 911, they came
151
00:06:47,098 --> 00:06:48,832
and arrested him
for having chest pains.
152
00:06:48,833 --> 00:06:52,569
Now that's what they call
cardiac arrest.
153
00:06:55,606 --> 00:06:56,840
See, that's sickening.
154
00:06:56,841 --> 00:06:58,176
All these gangs today
155
00:06:58,177 --> 00:07:00,143
shooting up everybody everywhere.
156
00:07:00,144 --> 00:07:01,978
Don't make no sense.
Holding the gun sideways.
157
00:07:01,979 --> 00:07:03,947
This ain't... that's not how
you shoot a gun.
158
00:07:03,948 --> 00:07:06,716
That's how you get carpal tunnel.
159
00:07:06,717 --> 00:07:08,318
Okay, Dad, what you mean,
"gangs today"?
160
00:07:08,319 --> 00:07:09,920
Gangs have always been like this.
161
00:07:09,921 --> 00:07:11,655
Oh, not The Dragons.
162
00:07:11,656 --> 00:07:13,557
Oh, Lord, no.
163
00:07:15,126 --> 00:07:17,494
I love the story about The Dragons.
164
00:07:17,495 --> 00:07:19,329
What are The Dragons, again?
165
00:07:19,330 --> 00:07:21,098
The Dragons was Dad's band.
166
00:07:21,099 --> 00:07:22,499
Oh, excusez-moi.
167
00:07:22,500 --> 00:07:26,169
We were a band and a gang: bangers.
168
00:07:26,170 --> 00:07:28,171
We was a good gang.
169
00:07:28,172 --> 00:07:31,675
We would, like, bully doctors
to give out free flu shots.
170
00:07:31,676 --> 00:07:33,810
You-you ever had to rumble with
a bunch of doctors?
171
00:07:33,811 --> 00:07:36,880
Get a stethoscope wrapped
around your neck.
172
00:07:36,881 --> 00:07:38,982
All right, look, yeah, look,
all this is crazy, man.
173
00:07:38,983 --> 00:07:40,183
Look, I'm just gonna go down there
174
00:07:40,184 --> 00:07:41,384
and get my clothes again myself.
175
00:07:41,385 --> 00:07:42,652
Oh, wait a minute, Rel.
176
00:07:42,653 --> 00:07:44,221
Rel, uh-uh, uh-uh.
177
00:07:44,222 --> 00:07:45,956
You know, whenever you try
to reason with people,
178
00:07:45,957 --> 00:07:47,824
you always wind up saying
something to make it worse.
179
00:07:47,825 --> 00:07:49,826
Besides, you can't beat a whole
gang, you ain't Jet Li.
180
00:07:49,827 --> 00:07:52,462
What is it with y'all
and Jet Li today?
181
00:07:52,463 --> 00:07:54,131
And what-what you gonna do?
182
00:07:54,132 --> 00:07:56,266
Look, I'm a bad bitch;
I get things done.
183
00:07:59,303 --> 00:08:01,238
Y'all wait up here,
I'm gonna go get his clothes,
184
00:08:01,239 --> 00:08:02,706
and we goin' to brunch.
185
00:08:06,043 --> 00:08:07,978
Oh, man, did you hear that?
186
00:08:07,979 --> 00:08:10,146
I wish she was my son.
187
00:08:15,219 --> 00:08:16,720
Hey, hey, you can't go in there.
188
00:08:16,721 --> 00:08:19,189
Look, Larry, I already know
it's a gang in there.
189
00:08:19,190 --> 00:08:21,291
Get one of them out here
to talk to me right now.
190
00:08:21,292 --> 00:08:22,893
Okay. All right.
Let me see what I can do.
191
00:08:22,894 --> 00:08:24,361
Hurry up.
192
00:08:24,362 --> 00:08:27,364
Hey, hey. There's somebody out here.
193
00:08:27,365 --> 00:08:29,232
Hey, oh.
194
00:08:29,233 --> 00:08:32,569
Little mama right here,
you hella decent.
195
00:08:32,570 --> 00:08:34,638
Got your hair done, nails done.
196
00:08:34,639 --> 00:08:36,173
Everything did.
197
00:08:38,075 --> 00:08:40,844
Mm, mm, look at that.
198
00:08:40,845 --> 00:08:42,879
And you slim-thick, too?
199
00:08:42,880 --> 00:08:44,614
What you got going on, though?
200
00:08:44,615 --> 00:08:45,916
Well, I'm a fashion designer.
201
00:08:45,917 --> 00:08:47,684
I actually made my own shirt.
202
00:08:47,685 --> 00:08:49,186
- What?
- Yeah.
203
00:08:49,187 --> 00:08:50,587
Oh, that's hella crazy.
204
00:08:50,588 --> 00:08:54,224
She's independent.
205
00:08:54,225 --> 00:08:55,959
Making shirts and everything,
206
00:08:55,960 --> 00:08:57,561
but-but where your store at, though?
207
00:08:57,562 --> 00:08:59,629
I have an online boutique
I'm working on.
208
00:08:59,630 --> 00:09:01,598
Oh, man, you scamming people,
that's crazy.
209
00:09:01,599 --> 00:09:05,068
- I don't scam nobody.
- N-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-no,
210
00:09:05,069 --> 00:09:07,070
no, no, little mama,
I don't mean it like that.
211
00:09:07,071 --> 00:09:10,040
I mean, I actually love
scamming, that's what I do.
212
00:09:10,041 --> 00:09:13,510
Matter of fact...
213
00:09:13,511 --> 00:09:15,078
you should be my baby mama.
214
00:09:15,079 --> 00:09:19,583
Boy, I could never ever
be your baby mama.
215
00:09:19,584 --> 00:09:22,619
You are literally one of the
dustiest dudes I've ever seen.
216
00:09:22,620 --> 00:09:24,421
Dusty?
217
00:09:24,422 --> 00:09:26,089
I ain't never dusty,
you know what I'm saying?
218
00:09:26,090 --> 00:09:28,625
I got this whole outfit
from Zara. What you mean?
219
00:09:28,626 --> 00:09:30,527
What kind of color scheme is that?
220
00:09:30,528 --> 00:09:32,462
Boy, you're wearing
three different blacks.
221
00:09:32,463 --> 00:09:34,864
You got glove black, light black,
222
00:09:34,865 --> 00:09:36,766
and ashy black. Boy, you dusty.
223
00:09:36,767 --> 00:09:39,603
Look, just please let me get
my friend's clothes
224
00:09:39,604 --> 00:09:41,805
and stop wasting my time,
because trust me,
225
00:09:41,806 --> 00:09:45,242
you could never have
a bad bitch like me.
226
00:09:45,243 --> 00:09:47,777
Oh, my God, here we go
with that "bad bitch..."
227
00:09:47,778 --> 00:09:49,512
"I'm a bad bitch, I'm a bad... "
228
00:09:49,513 --> 00:09:51,481
You know, s-some of you
are just okay bitches,
229
00:09:51,482 --> 00:09:52,816
you know what I'm saying?
Well, look, I'm gonna say this
230
00:09:52,817 --> 00:09:54,150
to you, like, you talking about
231
00:09:54,151 --> 00:09:55,252
you're a fashion designer, too.
232
00:09:55,253 --> 00:09:56,953
Come on, look at that shirt.
233
00:09:56,954 --> 00:09:59,789
You're like a princess
and a frog, like, put together.
234
00:09:59,790 --> 00:10:02,692
I'm only saying this to you,
I'm gonna keep it 100, though.
235
00:10:02,693 --> 00:10:04,294
You're old as hell.
236
00:10:05,529 --> 00:10:07,130
Probably pushing, like, 30,
237
00:10:07,131 --> 00:10:08,598
you know what I'm saying?
238
00:10:08,599 --> 00:10:13,169
Can I be real with you?
239
00:10:13,170 --> 00:10:15,705
If your dreams ain't came true now...
240
00:10:15,706 --> 00:10:18,408
...they ain't never coming true.
241
00:10:18,409 --> 00:10:20,610
And you got auntie hands.
242
00:10:28,185 --> 00:10:30,787
Am I too old to have dreams?
243
00:10:32,223 --> 00:10:33,957
G-Guys, don't answer that.
244
00:10:35,359 --> 00:10:37,027
What am I doing with my life?
245
00:10:37,028 --> 00:10:38,495
I want to be a fashion designer,
246
00:10:38,496 --> 00:10:40,263
but what steps have I really taken?
247
00:10:40,264 --> 00:10:41,898
And when Tupac was my age,
248
00:10:41,899 --> 00:10:45,268
he was already dead, man.
249
00:10:45,269 --> 00:10:47,504
And do I have auntie hands?
250
00:10:47,505 --> 00:10:49,739
- Rel, look at my hands. Look at them!
- Hey.
251
00:10:49,740 --> 00:10:51,541
What the heck is auntie hands?
252
00:10:51,542 --> 00:10:52,942
And did you get my clothes?
253
00:10:52,943 --> 00:10:55,145
Do I look like I got the clothes?
254
00:10:56,647 --> 00:10:58,882
You wear glasses. Do you see clothes?
255
00:10:58,883 --> 00:11:00,250
Ain't no clothes, Rel.
256
00:11:00,251 --> 00:11:01,785
There ain't gonna never be no clothes.
257
00:11:01,786 --> 00:11:03,653
Just like ain't no brunch
'cause brunch is over.
258
00:11:03,654 --> 00:11:05,155
Everything is over!
259
00:11:05,156 --> 00:11:06,890
Brunch is never over!
260
00:11:06,891 --> 00:11:09,859
I'm pretty sure they shut down
serving at 3:00 p.m.
261
00:11:09,860 --> 00:11:11,594
Okay.
262
00:11:11,595 --> 00:11:15,031
All right,
I can't let this sit no more.
263
00:11:15,032 --> 00:11:17,667
A Lord owes me a favor.
264
00:11:17,668 --> 00:11:20,170
What? Why you ain't
say nothing before?
265
00:11:20,171 --> 00:11:23,506
Why does a gang member
owe you a favor?
266
00:11:23,507 --> 00:11:26,710
Dad, the Lord that owes us
a favor is cousin Shawn.
267
00:11:26,711 --> 00:11:29,045
Wait, which cousin is Shawn?
268
00:11:29,046 --> 00:11:33,550
Oh, that's your cousin Arlene's
aunt's son's
269
00:11:33,551 --> 00:11:37,887
brother's uncle's son's sister's son.
270
00:11:37,888 --> 00:11:39,155
Look, just to reiterate, okay,
271
00:11:39,156 --> 00:11:40,890
this is a once in a lifetime favor.
272
00:11:40,891 --> 00:11:43,793
I can have anything I want.
Look, having a gang favor
273
00:11:43,794 --> 00:11:46,663
is like having a fairy godmother
with... with a pistol.
274
00:11:46,664 --> 00:11:48,998
Do...
275
00:11:48,999 --> 00:11:52,469
If you want me to waste
that once in a lifetime favor
276
00:11:52,470 --> 00:11:54,637
on your laundry...
277
00:11:54,638 --> 00:11:56,506
I mean, I...
278
00:11:56,507 --> 00:11:59,209
Hey. Make the call.
279
00:12:06,717 --> 00:12:08,918
Yo, Shawn, this is Nat, man.
280
00:12:10,955 --> 00:12:13,223
Yeah, I need to use that favor.
281
00:12:13,224 --> 00:12:16,226
Yeah, your boys is
in my brother's laundry room,
282
00:12:16,227 --> 00:12:18,228
and he just needs
to get his clothes out
283
00:12:18,229 --> 00:12:20,363
so we can go to brunch.
284
00:12:22,466 --> 00:12:25,368
Yes, this is that favor.
285
00:12:27,938 --> 00:12:30,340
Said it should probably be quick.
286
00:12:30,341 --> 00:12:32,442
Damn.
287
00:12:36,380 --> 00:12:39,315
Ha, ha! We got my clothes, yo.
288
00:12:39,316 --> 00:12:41,718
We are going to brunch. Yes!
289
00:12:41,719 --> 00:12:43,853
This day is not over with yet.
290
00:12:43,854 --> 00:12:47,056
Ooh.
291
00:12:47,057 --> 00:12:49,826
Damn, Rel, you're taking this
separation worse than I thought.
292
00:12:51,896 --> 00:12:54,531
Man, these ain't my clothes.
You got to call Shawn back.
293
00:12:54,532 --> 00:12:56,166
Call Shawn back? Did you know him?
294
00:12:56,167 --> 00:12:58,334
Yo, this a once-in-a-lifetime
favor. No do-overs.
295
00:12:58,335 --> 00:13:01,404
You know what? Damn it! I
thought I would just let you all
296
00:13:01,405 --> 00:13:03,306
fly and handle this by yourselves,
297
00:13:03,307 --> 00:13:06,509
but I guess y'all don't have
the wings of a... Dragon!
298
00:13:07,945 --> 00:13:10,447
Spread your wings, Daddy! Spread 'em!
299
00:13:10,448 --> 00:13:12,015
Go down there
300
00:13:12,016 --> 00:13:14,350
and give these Lords a dose
of that Dragon fire.
301
00:13:17,855 --> 00:13:20,790
Drag-on!
302
00:13:22,159 --> 00:13:24,260
Drag-ons!
303
00:13:25,663 --> 00:13:27,664
Dad, what happened?
Where is your shoe?
304
00:13:27,665 --> 00:13:29,065
Hey, don't worry about that.
305
00:13:29,066 --> 00:13:30,667
Lords didn't know what hit them.
306
00:13:30,668 --> 00:13:33,136
I got down there, Larry was
trying to hold the door.
307
00:13:33,137 --> 00:13:34,971
Boom! Kicked the door in like Jet Li.
308
00:13:34,972 --> 00:13:37,841
- God, not again.
- But this was my gout leg,
309
00:13:37,842 --> 00:13:40,610
so, my gout flared up.
310
00:13:40,611 --> 00:13:43,046
So I had to take my shoe off.
My leg was swollen up.
311
00:13:43,047 --> 00:13:44,881
Man came at me with a gun,
took my shoe.
312
00:13:44,882 --> 00:13:47,684
Bam! Hit him upside his face.
313
00:13:47,685 --> 00:13:49,565
Shoe went flying,
so I couldn't find my shoe.
314
00:13:49,566 --> 00:13:51,169
So I'm looking at them. I said,
"Brother you want some?"
315
00:13:51,170 --> 00:13:54,319
He said "no". Slapped him anyway.
316
00:13:54,525 --> 00:13:56,960
Now he crying.
317
00:13:56,961 --> 00:13:59,395
And the rest of the gang like,
"Why you make our boy cry?"
318
00:13:59,396 --> 00:14:00,797
So they all pull their guns out,
319
00:14:00,798 --> 00:14:02,198
but they're holding 'em sideways,
320
00:14:02,199 --> 00:14:04,667
so everybody gonna
get shot. I gots to go.
321
00:14:04,668 --> 00:14:07,070
Next you know,
322
00:14:07,071 --> 00:14:08,905
I'm on trial for homicide, 12 people.
323
00:14:08,906 --> 00:14:11,274
I can't do that time.
324
00:14:16,347 --> 00:14:18,448
Larry, what you doing here?
325
00:14:18,449 --> 00:14:21,251
Hey, Mister, you dropped
your shoe when you ran away.
326
00:14:21,252 --> 00:14:23,353
Nah...
327
00:14:23,354 --> 00:14:24,854
Hey, ran away?
328
00:14:24,855 --> 00:14:26,589
Yeah.
329
00:14:26,590 --> 00:14:30,126
He told The Lords they should
be giving away flu shots.
330
00:14:30,127 --> 00:14:34,163
Then he started making dragon
sounds and blowing in the air.
331
00:14:37,067 --> 00:14:39,035
Everybody started laughing, man.
332
00:14:39,036 --> 00:14:42,805
Dude ran away so fast
his shoe came off.
333
00:14:42,806 --> 00:14:45,808
Here you go, man.
334
00:14:51,725 --> 00:14:53,416
Look, this is crazy.
335
00:14:53,417 --> 00:14:56,519
Rel, you better put on
a long coat 'cause I'm starving.
336
00:14:57,655 --> 00:14:59,289
Man, what...?
337
00:14:59,290 --> 00:15:02,292
Rel, you got a suit right here!
338
00:15:02,293 --> 00:15:03,893
You good. We can still make brunch,
339
00:15:03,894 --> 00:15:05,795
and you can get your laundry
when we come back home.
340
00:15:05,796 --> 00:15:07,297
I can't wear my Sunday suit
on a Saturday.
341
00:15:07,298 --> 00:15:10,266
Don't make no sense.
342
00:15:10,267 --> 00:15:11,768
Rel, just put the damn suit on!
343
00:15:11,769 --> 00:15:15,772
Look, y'all,
it's the principle of it, okay?
344
00:15:15,773 --> 00:15:17,974
Y'all know how things have
been hard for me lately.
345
00:15:17,975 --> 00:15:20,443
I just needed today to go right.
I need something to go right!
346
00:15:20,444 --> 00:15:22,979
Then I was extra motivated.
I was watching Clarence Hatch.
347
00:15:22,980 --> 00:15:25,281
And he said somethin so profound.
348
00:15:25,282 --> 00:15:29,452
He said you got to get up to sit down.
349
00:15:29,453 --> 00:15:31,654
Nah, you got it all mixed up.
350
00:15:31,655 --> 00:15:33,823
You see, you got to sit down
before you get up.
351
00:15:33,824 --> 00:15:35,692
No, no, no. You got to get up
before you sit down.
352
00:15:35,693 --> 00:15:36,597
That's the...
353
00:15:36,598 --> 00:15:38,094
Yeah, but if you're
already sitting down...
354
00:15:38,095 --> 00:15:41,164
Can we just go eat?!
355
00:15:41,165 --> 00:15:43,299
Look, guys, honestly, I...
356
00:15:43,300 --> 00:15:45,034
I'm not going nowhere
without my clothes, okay?
357
00:15:45,035 --> 00:15:47,303
So, if you want to eat...
358
00:15:47,304 --> 00:15:48,938
go ahead, go eat then.
359
00:15:48,939 --> 00:15:50,740
- Okay, let's go.
- Yeah, we going. Let's go.
360
00:15:53,510 --> 00:15:54,944
Well, that's the plan.
361
00:16:38,543 --> 00:16:40,378
Where you think you're going?
362
00:16:40,379 --> 00:16:44,348
Um... to brunch.
363
00:16:44,349 --> 00:16:47,718
See, the thing is,
you not going nowhere.
364
00:16:47,719 --> 00:16:50,655
Okay, look, if-if this about
365
00:16:50,656 --> 00:16:55,226
what I may have allegedly saw
366
00:16:55,227 --> 00:16:57,328
in the dryer, uh...
367
00:16:57,329 --> 00:16:58,562
I don't even know what that is.
368
00:16:58,563 --> 00:17:00,197
Oh, you know what that is.
369
00:17:00,198 --> 00:17:02,266
That's cocaine.
370
00:17:02,267 --> 00:17:04,035
That was really specific.
371
00:17:04,036 --> 00:17:05,736
Uh...
372
00:17:07,806 --> 00:17:09,840
Uh, okay, guys, look,
373
00:17:09,841 --> 00:17:12,510
let me level with y'all.
374
00:17:12,511 --> 00:17:14,145
Um, if I can be honest,
375
00:17:14,146 --> 00:17:16,280
you dudes pretty much ruined
my damn day.
376
00:17:16,281 --> 00:17:18,049
You know what I mean?
377
00:17:20,052 --> 00:17:22,553
My life hasn't been
exactly perfect, man.
378
00:17:22,554 --> 00:17:25,389
I mean, my wife left me, and
took the kids with her and...
379
00:17:25,390 --> 00:17:28,559
Man, ain't nobody trying
to hear your life story,
380
00:17:28,560 --> 00:17:31,028
especially with this bogus-ass
short set you got on.
381
00:17:31,029 --> 00:17:33,431
I ain't never win no spelling bee,
382
00:17:33,432 --> 00:17:35,066
but I swear 'fore God
383
00:17:35,067 --> 00:17:37,234
I ain't never seen "Bulls"
spelled with no "Z."
384
00:17:41,340 --> 00:17:42,840
Hey, buddy goofy as hell.
385
00:17:42,841 --> 00:17:44,942
You might as well go on
and get out of here
386
00:17:44,943 --> 00:17:46,544
and take your panties with you.
387
00:17:46,545 --> 00:17:48,612
That's why your wife left you,
388
00:17:48,613 --> 00:17:51,248
kids don't respect you.
389
00:17:51,249 --> 00:17:53,517
She tired of being with a bum.
390
00:17:53,518 --> 00:17:56,687
It's okay. They gonna have
a new daddy soon.
391
00:17:56,688 --> 00:17:59,957
Instead of your clown ass.
392
00:18:11,837 --> 00:18:13,938
Um...
393
00:18:13,939 --> 00:18:16,240
I mean, the crazy thing is,
you-you calling me a clown,
394
00:18:16,241 --> 00:18:17,708
and like, "Ooh,
they gonna have a new daddy,"
395
00:18:17,709 --> 00:18:19,243
and all at good stuff.
396
00:18:19,244 --> 00:18:21,712
But, like, only clown I see is, uh...
397
00:18:28,186 --> 00:18:30,554
...is standing right in front of me.
398
00:18:30,555 --> 00:18:32,790
Who you talking to, fat boy?
399
00:18:32,791 --> 00:18:34,258
You getting real tough.
400
00:18:34,259 --> 00:18:36,027
You see Lord and 'em over here?
401
00:18:36,028 --> 00:18:37,828
They'd kill for ManMan.
402
00:18:37,829 --> 00:18:39,295
I'm God on the West Side.
403
00:18:39,296 --> 00:18:41,608
Don't gamble with your
life for your pride
404
00:18:41,609 --> 00:18:44,010
especially not in this
bogus-ass outfit.
405
00:18:44,011 --> 00:18:45,911
You want to die in that?
406
00:18:45,912 --> 00:18:49,115
Look, I don't want to die
in my pajamas, that's true.
407
00:18:53,153 --> 00:18:56,208
I know who you is, brother.
I know your type.
408
00:18:56,209 --> 00:18:57,657
I know all y'all, right?
409
00:18:57,658 --> 00:18:58,924
You go around neighborhoods,
410
00:18:58,925 --> 00:19:00,760
terrorizing 'em, shooting 'em up.
411
00:19:00,761 --> 00:19:02,776
You know, not even shooting the
people you're supposed to kill.
412
00:19:02,777 --> 00:19:05,298
Your killing innocent people
Most of 'em are kids, yo.
413
00:19:05,299 --> 00:19:08,134
You hear me? Kids!
414
00:19:08,135 --> 00:19:10,202
You ever watch the news?
415
00:19:10,203 --> 00:19:12,571
Y'all be seeing those mothers
that's crying,
416
00:19:12,572 --> 00:19:14,507
thinking they're gonna see
their kid come home
417
00:19:14,508 --> 00:19:16,642
from school that day?
418
00:19:16,643 --> 00:19:18,077
But no, we got
some ignorant fools out here
419
00:19:18,078 --> 00:19:19,679
just shooting it up.
420
00:19:19,680 --> 00:19:21,914
That don't that make you want
to stop, man?
421
00:19:21,915 --> 00:19:24,050
Look, bullets ain't got
no names, you hear me?
422
00:19:24,051 --> 00:19:26,986
I ain't choose this life.
This life chose me.
423
00:19:26,987 --> 00:19:29,822
At the end of the day,
I'm trying to survive.
424
00:19:29,823 --> 00:19:32,058
If you get smoked, you get smoked.
425
00:19:32,059 --> 00:19:34,093
Better your life than mine.
426
00:19:34,094 --> 00:19:37,330
This is Chicago, okay?
This is not Chiraq.
427
00:19:37,331 --> 00:19:39,365
Do y'all like that they call
Chicago "Chiraq"?
428
00:19:39,366 --> 00:19:41,767
- That's cool with you?
- That's where we at, boy.
429
00:19:41,768 --> 00:19:43,302
No, that's not where we at.
430
00:19:43,303 --> 00:19:44,870
You got regular citizens
431
00:19:44,871 --> 00:19:46,872
that live here,
that work hard every day,
432
00:19:46,873 --> 00:19:48,874
and they should be able
to come home safe
433
00:19:48,875 --> 00:19:50,943
and their kids should be able
to come home safe
434
00:19:50,944 --> 00:19:53,112
and not deal with this.
435
00:19:53,113 --> 00:19:56,148
Look, man, I don't want to see
nothing happen to none of y'all,
436
00:19:56,149 --> 00:20:00,052
but this mindset we got...
I'm just tired of it.
437
00:20:00,053 --> 00:20:03,789
And it hurts, man.
438
00:20:03,790 --> 00:20:08,594
All right, all right,
I've called the police.
439
00:20:08,595 --> 00:20:11,964
Y'all need a hearing aid?
440
00:20:11,965 --> 00:20:13,966
I said I called the police.
441
00:20:13,967 --> 00:20:17,036
They're on the way, so y'all get
the hell up out of here!
442
00:20:17,037 --> 00:20:20,673
And I'm in 4B.
Come and see me if you dare.
443
00:20:20,674 --> 00:20:22,508
I ain't scared of y'all.
444
00:20:22,509 --> 00:20:25,945
I got breast cancer, all right?
445
00:20:25,946 --> 00:20:28,247
Look, I'm gonna see you around, man.
446
00:20:30,817 --> 00:20:32,852
Damn, Rel.
447
00:20:32,853 --> 00:20:35,488
That was inspiring, man.
448
00:20:35,489 --> 00:20:37,477
Man, you told 'em
exactly what they need...
449
00:20:37,478 --> 00:20:41,894
Okay. Larry, bruh, I... I swear to you
450
00:20:41,895 --> 00:20:44,930
I'm gonna get you fired.
451
00:20:45,866 --> 00:20:48,033
Hold up.
452
00:20:48,034 --> 00:20:50,569
Where the hell are my panties?
453
00:20:56,005 --> 00:20:58,424
Make sure you grab a copy
of my new book,
454
00:20:58,425 --> 00:21:01,427
You Gotta Get Up To Sit Down,
Part Two:
455
00:21:01,428 --> 00:21:04,196
How to Get a Wife As Fine As Mine.
456
00:21:04,197 --> 00:21:06,832
Okay, y'all, that'll wrap
our show up for today.
457
00:21:06,833 --> 00:21:09,201
And see you tomorrow
on The Clarence Hatch Show.
458
00:21:13,774 --> 00:21:15,875
Coming up on the news at 11:00.
459
00:21:15,876 --> 00:21:18,577
Another senseless shooting
on the West Side of Chicago.
460
00:21:18,578 --> 00:21:21,781
Tyrell "ManMan" Jefferson, the
alleged leader of The Lords,
461
00:21:21,782 --> 00:21:24,884
was shot and killed
in a gang-style execution,
462
00:21:24,885 --> 00:21:26,719
along with two other innocent victims.
463
00:21:26,720 --> 00:21:29,488
More details after the break.
464
00:21:31,800 --> 00:21:38,382
Subtitle sync and corrections by
awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com.
34699
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